Dwyane Wade On The Power of Visualization, Developing A Strong Work Ethic & Healing From Your Past EP 1192

Today’s guest is Dwyane Wade. He’s a NBA Champion, Olympic Gold medalist and thirteen-time NBA All-Star. He’s written a new photographic memoir that we dive into called DWYANE that details his life and career over the last few decades coming from a challenging upbringing to become one of the greatest athletes of all time. In this episode we discuss how Dwyane visualized his career as a kid, the biggest challenges he’s had to overcome in his life and career, the routines Dwyane’s developed in order to be successful, how to develop a strong mindset when you’re facing losses, why it’s so important to have coaches in your life and so much more! For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1192Get Dwyane's new photographic memoir. Mel Robbins: The “Secret” Mindset Habit to Building Confidence and Overcoming Scarcity: https://link.chtbl.com/970-podDr. Joe Dispenza on Healing the Body and Transforming the Mind: https://link.chtbl.com/826-podMaster Your Mind and Defy the Odds with David Goggins: https://link.chtbl.com/715-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 1,192 with Dwyane Wade. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:28Lewis Howes?

  My friend, I am so pumped up because today's guest is Dwyane Wade, and he is an NBA champion, Olympic gold medalist, and 13-time NBA All-Star. He's written a new photographic memoir that we dive into called Dwyane, that details his life and career over the last few decades, coming from a challenging upbringing to becoming one of the greatest athletes of all time. I left this interview feeling incredibly inspired, and I know you're going to love it as well. In this episode, we talk about how Dwyane visualized his career as a child and how he learned visualization.

• 1:07Lewis Howes?

  The biggest challenges he's had to overcome in his life and his career, the routines he's developed in order to become successful. How to develop a strong mindset when you're facing losses. Why it's so important to have coaches in your life that are great mentors, and so much more. This was so much fun and so entertaining and inspiring for me. So if you're enjoying this at any moment, make sure to spread the message to a friend. Post it on social media, tag Dwyane as well as myself over on Instagram or anywhere that you're sharing this online. And if this is your first time here, please click the subscribe button right now over on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And make sure to leave us a review at the end to let us know what you enjoyed the most about this episode. And today's fan of the week is from Kyle, who said,

• 1:51Lewis Howes?

  "Such incredible enticing info that actually helps to give real takeaways that if applied, can actually make a lasting change." So Kyle, thanks for being the fan of the week and leaving us a review over on Apple Podcasts. And in just a moment, I bring you the one and only Dwyane Wade.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest, the iconic Dwyane Wade in the house. Good to see you, man.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Oh, I like that.

• 2:18Lewis Howes?

  Great to see you. We have, we have a lot of mutual friends. And I was reaching out to them this whole week. Once we finally confirmed and make sure this was happening, I said, is this guy the real deal? They're like, he's one of the greatest fathers, husbands and human beings in the world. They didn't even mention your Olympic gold medal, you know, NBA championships, one of the greatest basketball players of all time. They talked about your character and your heart, which I'm really excited to connect with you about.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 2:45Lewis Howes?

  Because you grew up in, in not the nicest of conditions and neighborhood. But what I, what I read from your book, which I'm so excited to talk about is that you really grew up with a mindset of visualization, dreaming about playing against the great, the greats. And I'm curious, how did that mindset of visualizing your future come about? Did someone teach you this?

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:08Lewis Howes?

  Did you watch guys on TV talk about this? Like, how did you learn this and then manifest it 10, 20 years later?

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Well, first, give me the names of the people you reached out to so I can send them their quarterly, you know, quarterly for talking good about me. But I give the credit to my sister. And so I grew up in the inner city of Chicago. And 59th and Prairie is, is the street I grew up on. And that's, it's a photo in my book and it's one of my favorite photos of the, the complex that I grew up in. And my sister and I shared a room and we shared a room. At first, we didn't have a bed, right? We, we shared a room, we didn't have a bed.

• 3:47Lewis Howes?

  Where were you sleeping?

• 3:48Speaker 01

  We were sleeping on the floor.

• 3:49Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were sleeping on the floor. I mean, we're like, you know, it's, it's, people see me now and they'd be like, you wasn't, you was not poor. No, we were poor.

• 3:55Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  You know, like this was real. Uh, so first we were sleeping on the floor and then eventually I remember we got a bed. When they had one bed to share. And I would go to bed at nights crying. Because I was hungry.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Or whatever, like my, you know, when that stomach, that that hunger is different.

• 4:14Lewis Howes?

  Different.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  And, you know, you, you know, lucky enough to eat once, you know, sometimes twice, you know, a day, whatever the case may be, but sometimes it may not happen. And so I would cry all the time. And my sister would always tell me every night to pray. She'd be like, pray, ask God for what you want, right? And so I would do that, she'd be, and so she would always tell me before it's time to go to bed, because my stomach was hurting so bad, she'd be like, listen, go into your dreams. Go into your visions. You know, picture, like, picture the world that you want. Right? And so every night, that was, that was the thing I was excited about, I was excited to go to, to sleep. So I can go into this, this imaginary world of like, okay.

• 4:49Lewis Howes?

  I'm warm, I'm, yeah, I'm full, I'm, yeah.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, you know, like, everything you think about.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  And but that's where my visualization came from. And so as a kid, I would always visualize what I wanted from my family, what I wanted from my mother, what one day I wanted from my dad, what I wanted for myself, like, so far and so on, right? And I just carried that vision everywhere I went, because that was, that was the thing that made me feel the best. And so I never lost it, because, you know, that, that feel of like, oh, let me go into my, my own world. And in my own world, everything was perfect. And so I would try to go into that world all the time.

• 5:26Lewis Howes?

  How old were you when your sister taught you this?

• 5:28Speaker 01

  I had to be probably like five, like, yeah.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  I was young.

• 5:33Lewis Howes?

  How long were you guys in the same room till?

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Until I, uh, until she dropped me off over my dad's, like, you gotta go.

• 5:40Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  So until I was, my sister probably dropped me off around eight years old. I eventually moved with my dad when I was like nine and like, you know, he took custody of me. Uh, but I guess around, I don't know, six, between six and eight.

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  We were, my sister eventually was like, you got, you need a man, you need your dad. You need something more than I can give. Uh, cause my sister was kind of raising me while my mom was, was going through her journey in life. She was going through her addictions. Um, you know, through life, you know, in drugs and in and out of prison and things of that nature. So my sister kind of, she was responsible for me just by being the, the next sister closer to age.

• 6:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  And she eventually told my dad, like, tap, you in.

• 6:19Lewis Howes?

  You get her in.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Uh, but. You know, we did, we did, we did share a room together and in that, but in that room was a lot of great things happened too. You know, I don't wanna make it seem like.

• 6:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you're having fun, you're playing games.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I learned how to read in that room. Like I learned, you know, you do all these things uh in that room. And so at the time, you don't know how bad it is. Like I can talk about it now and it's like, what? Wow, but at the time, this is just life.

• 6:42Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  This is, you're just going from one day to the next. And so um but you know, she was kind of my guardian angel.

• 6:48Lewis Howes?

  Wow. My brother, uh I've talked about this on my show, my brother, when I was eight, went to prison for four years for selling drugs. And I'm undercover cop in, in Ohio where I was growing up. And it played a, a toll on the family. It was like a big weight. Uh you know, we would go to the prison every weekend pretty much and spend time in the visiting room.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:07Lewis Howes?

  What was that like for you with a parent coming kind of in and out of, of jail at that time?

• 7:12Speaker 01

  So.

• 7:13Lewis Howes?

  Was it kind of normal or was it impacting you in a big way or what?

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, I, I didn't, it was normal.

• 7:19Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Let me start off that. It wa- it was normal. Like, I was that kid that anytime I seen the police, you know, I would run and hide.

• 7:28Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Because I've watched them coming handcuffed and take away.

• 7:33Lewis Howes?

  In the house.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  In the house. I've watched them knock down our door. Boom, boom. You know, like movies when it's boom, boom, boom with the police? Like that was, that was a reoccurring thing.

• 7:42Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Um, you know, in a, in my life, you know, growing up. So uh I was always afraid. I was always scared of police. And I remember when my mom went to prison and my dad decided to take me to prison to talk to my mother. Cause I really wanted to see her. I was missing her. Um this was when I had um, my dad just got custody of me. I was like nine years old.

• 8:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  And I remember going in and just like the movies, I'm seeing like, I'm hearing all the noises and the buzzers, the this, the that. You see all the people.

• 8:13Lewis Howes?

  Security going through.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  The security, you see the thick glass and they on the other side. And so I sit on this glass and I'm sitting here and I'm waiting on my mother. It's like the movies. My mom come out, she's angry. I could see like the look on her face. She's mad. Um I later find out, I later found out that she did not want my dad to bring me to prison. But I insisted on seeing my mother. So my dad took me.

• 8:33Lewis Howes?

  She didn't want you to see her in that.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  She didn't wanna see, she didn't want me to see her in that environment. And, but I, I just wanted to see my mom when we're kids.

• 8:39Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  So I go in there and talk to my mom through her phone. And it just, it it it tore me apart. Like, you can't grab, you can't touch, you you can't do anything. And and then at the end, you hang up the phone and you just leave, right? And I just remember crying so bad when I left and I told my dad, I never want to go back. Please don't ever take me back in there.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  But like seeing my mother on the other side of that glass is an image that I would never get out of my head. Never. And that was, I was nine years, I was thirty years ago.

• 9:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Thirty years ago, thirty nine. And I could never get that image out of my head.

• 9:17Lewis Howes?

  You only went one time?

• 9:18Speaker 01

  One time. It hurt, it hurt too bad.

• 9:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  To see someone you love, your mother.

• 9:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's tough.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Not understanding everything, don't understand why she's on the other side of that glass.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  You know, it it hurt to the point where I didn't want to go back, but just that fuel. Like, I used so much fuel through my life, and that was one of the fuels I was like, okay. I gotta get my mom out of this.

• 9:39Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  You know?

• 9:41Lewis Howes?

  What would you say was the the the biggest challenge that you had to heal from your childhood, from growing up? The biggest pain or the obstacle that you found stayed with you for the longest? Maybe you're still facing some of it that you've had to learn how to heal to let go of?

• 9:56Speaker 01

  That's a great question. Because I feel like I'm still, you know how, you know how it goes, like you go through all that and then you just go through your life. And at some point, some of the things will come back. And so for me, like getting into therapy is something that was important once I retired because my outlet became basketball. So I put everything into the sport.

• 10:15Lewis Howes?

  If you don't have it anymore, what do you do?

• 10:17Speaker 01

  What do you do?

• 10:18Lewis Howes?

  With that energy, those thoughts that, yeah.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you know what you do, you're gonna put it off on the people that's closest to you. The ones that love you, the ones that's at home, the ones you see every day, you're gonna put that rage and anger and. And so I think the thing, what I tried to do is I tried to go and I tried to rebuild my relationships with my parents.

• 10:37Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, because like, one thing I've never done is I've never. Like, I don't judge them for their journey. You know, like, especially as a person who's trying to live, like, I gotta figure it out every day. Every day is a choice to do this, a choice not to do this, and you know, you can make the wrong step and the wrong turn. And my parents did. They took the wrong step and it took them down a long track. That was, you know, that affected myself and my sister and our family, but I don't judge them for it because, um, you know, they didn't try. That was not their goal, right? It's just, it's life. Uh, and so for me, it was about getting to know my parents and rebuilding relationship, asking questions. Maybe they came out a little harsh sometimes, maybe they even came out at the wrong time.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Uh, but I just really needed to like, to, to, to get to know and understand why. Understand as an adult, why we do things, understand that, okay, they had addictions. Okay, I have an addiction. Right now, my addiction is basketball, but I'm addicted to something, so I have an addictive personality. They had an addictive personality. This is why, they just kind of understand. Uh, and that was, that's what I, that was my biggest thing to help me start getting over the hump was really communicating with my parents.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  Wow. And how's that process been like? Have you been able to heal certain things or?

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I feel like I have, maybe my wife, you can ask my wife. She would know a little bit more, because my wife has told me that I need to heal, you know, and I'm like, no, I'm good. But really, you know, she knows. And so I remember when I was thirty years old, um, me and my dad relationship was kind of rocky. You know, my dad took custody of me at nine. Um, that man, macho thing started building as I got older and in high school. And I started feeling like I was a man. I moved out at sixteen years old. Uh, I moved with Zaire and Zaire's mom and, and I lived with her, I lived with my girlfriend at the time. Um, and me and my dad relationship was just kind of rocky in a sense.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  I loved them, but we, we, we couldn't see out of eye and I was, I was too blinded by, you know, my, um, I don't know, not my hate, but.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  I had this thing where I like, I guess in a sense it's like weakness, right? It's like you feel, I felt like my dad was weak.

• 12:47Lewis Howes?

  Emotionally, mentally, physically?

• 12:49Speaker 01

  I don't know what it was. It was just more so of like, I'm taking care of the family now.

• 12:52Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow. I'm stepping up. You're not doing your role, I'm gonna do it.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  And, and I, and I felt the way about that. And I missed all, forget the rest of the things he did for me. You know what I'm saying? To help get me to this point, I was just so into like, I guess I felt the way that I had to. And that all the responsibilities at, you know, nineteen, twenty, whatever, it started becoming my responsibilities and I kinda, I was angry at my dad.

• 13:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  For it, you know, right? Um, so, I remember at thirty years old, I decided to, you know what? I think it's time. My wife kept telling me, she's like, your life is not gonna be complete. You, you have missing pieces. It's a missing hole in your life and your dad is one of them. You need to, you need to fix it. And I was like, alright. And I decided to go to lunch with my father.

• 13:36Lewis Howes?

  At thirty?

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Just at thirty. Just go to lunch. Four hour lunch. And at that point in life, I was older. My kids was getting older. I started to realize that, hmm, my dad ain't that crazy as I thought he was.

• 13:47Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. You're raising kids now.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  I'm raising kids now.

• 13:51Lewis Howes?

  And at this point, you'd already won an Olympic gold medal, you already won a, a couple NBA championships.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was at least one in. I know, uh, maybe two. Maybe, maybe two in.

• 14:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Uh, I think I was two in at that time. And I've accomplished so much in sport and to the world. But, you know, I still was missing something. And it was a lot was my mom and my dad. And so I had to fix it with my dad. And like, to this point, to this day, like, you know, nine years later, it took, it's only been nine years, but me and my dad relationship has just been developing and growing. And like, I feel more of a whole as a person. Um, just from that, that, that, that conversation, that communication, that look each other in the eye, that say, that apologize, that say, I'm sorry for this. But also too, you understand that my dad was thinking a certain way. He thought that I felt this way, when I didn't, I thought he felt this way. And if you don't communicate, you just let it go and it fester and it becomes something.

• 14:44Lewis Howes?

  Where do you think you'd be now if you'd get in, start having those conversations at thirty? Where do you think, what would be happening to you inside?

• 14:52Speaker 01

  I'll be searching for something, you know, I'll be trying to grab on to something, to someone, something. Uh, because, you know, it, some relationships in your life are just that important. You know, if they are that important, and a relationship, you know, with my parents is just that important to me. And if I didn't have that, that mean that I would have to grab some grab for something else to try to fill that void.

• 15:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Right, you know, and that's what, you know, that's what kids do, that's what, you know, young women do when their father's not in their home. And they don't have a male, uh, presence, you know, they go look for that male presence and a lot of times they get into relationships with men that, you know what I mean, that becomes toxic in certain ways, you know, because of what they're missing. And what they're looking for, whatever the case may be, right, so. I would have been looking for it, and I have at times until I was able to patch that hole up. You know, and so now I don't, I'm not looking for that, I'm not looking, like me and my dad have a, I can't say we have a father-son relationship. Uh, I feel like we have more of a, of a friendship, um, than we have a father-son, I don't go to my dad and say, hey dad, I, I got these financial problems and I need help, I don't have that, because I was the first one in the family to go through the financial problems and I sit down with my dad and say, hey.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  You know.

• 15:58Lewis Howes?

  As I did, take care of your finances.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's different, I'm in a different role, and so that role brought on, you know, the challenges in our relationship. It's because I've been in that seat for almost twenty years now.

• 16:08Lewis Howes?

  Who was the most influential adult figure in your life growing up? Besides your sister, and, and what was the big, and what was the biggest lesson that that adult figure taught you?

• 16:20Speaker 01

  This is sad. Michael Jordan.

• 16:22Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Adult.

• 16:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  It's like.

• 16:27Lewis Howes?

  Did you have a relationship with him though?

• 16:28Speaker 01

  No.

• 16:28Lewis Howes?

  Wow, okay.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Just, just from a, it's role model. Someone to look up to, someone to aspire to be.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  You know, it was, it was such an important time, that's how you, it's weird how, how important sports, or moments that, or things that people do are to people, like to you. And that's why, like, I'm able to write books, so that's why, like, me and my family, um, speak out on issues. Right, and we share private things, uh, because I was that kid that, Michael Jordan didn't understand the impact he made on me, just by being himself, or just by, you know, speaking out on, you know, on certain things, or facing the media at the bad game, or whatever it was. I looked at it all. And so in my life, all the adults was off in their world and their madness doing their thing. They wasn't, I didn't have one. I was like, man, I want to be like Uncle, you know, Uncle Richard when I grow up.

• 17:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you're right, right. I want to be like Uncle Mike.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  Right. I want to be like, and so, yeah, I, I gravitated to a person that I never, that I didn't know, that I never knew I would meet, but I just wanted to be like that guy.

• 17:30Lewis Howes?

  So were you, were you like consuming all, were you just trying to watch everything he said on TV at that time? Cause there was no social media, obviously, when we were growing up. Or were you buying all the magazines and seeing what he was reading? Did you have posters on the wall? Like, how were you connecting to his message when it was, wasn't as available as it is today for people?

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would watch Come and Fly With Me.

• 17:50Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  A million times, over and over. I watched how he did interviews.

• 17:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Watch how you walk.

• 17:56Lewis Howes?

  Everything, the swag.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Everything. You, you watched it all because you, for me, I didn't, I didn't see anybody that was in my life that I was like, oh, I want to be like that person. So I had to go find someone. Once again, I had to think, I had to go into this vision. I had to, I had to think outside of, you know, the box, in a sense. And outside of boxes, outside of my community and my family. And I, and I found Michael Jordan. I grew up in Chicago, WGN News, shout out to WGN News. I was able to turn, tune in and watch the game. I got, we got the interviews. I was like, after the game, me and my brothers are sitting, watching the TV, waiting for Jordan to interview. You know what I mean? It's like 20 minutes later, but like, he just became that, that, that much of a figure in our lives. Yeah, it's crazy.

• 18:34Lewis Howes?

  What was it like when you first met him?

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Surreal. Like, so the first time I met him, I get drafted. I get drafted to the Heat and I.

• 18:45Lewis Howes?

  You're 20, 21?

• 18:46Speaker 01

  21 years old.

• 18:46Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  21 years old.

• 18:47Lewis Howes?

  Fifth pick, is that right?

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Fifth pick.

• 18:49Lewis Howes?

  I mean, I got the rookie card right here.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 18:50Lewis Howes?

  Number five pick.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  It was a couple months before that.

• 18:52Lewis Howes?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 18:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  So I get drafted and I do a draft party in Chicago, right? Like, you know, I'm, I'm from Chicago. I do a big draft party.

• 19:03Lewis Howes?

  Don't tell me he shows up to that.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  So.

• 19:05Lewis Howes?

  No, he doesn't.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  I'm in the party, bro.

• 19:07Lewis Howes?

  No, he doesn't.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Party is crazy. My cousin come and tapped me on the shoulder in the middle of a party. I'm dancing. I'm having a great time. He's like, yo, Michael Jordan's outside. They won't let him in. And I'm like, bro, stop playing with me.

• 19:18Lewis Howes?

  They won't let him in?

• 19:19Speaker 01

  He said they won't let him in. So immediately, I'm like, bro, stop play. Why would you do that? This is my mom. Why would you like, um, why would you play with me? And he's like, I seen the look on his face. He's like, Michael Jordan is outside. They won't let him in. We take off. So we run into the club. We get to the front. I'm like, what the, you know, I say something to the front. He's outside.

• 19:37Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  We go outside. Now, this is epic. I'm, I, I run outside. And Michael Jordan is sitting out there on a motorcycle with like, I say fifty dudes, it probably was twenty, but it just looked like fifty dudes. All on motorcycles. Mike's sitting there. And I'm like, no way to close in, close, like every step. I'm like, is this Jordan? Is this Jordan? And then I got up close and he was just like, hey, man, I just wanted to come by.

• 20:01Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Show you some love, congratulations, you know, being drafted, like just that whole thing. And I'm like, Mike, come in. He like, no, I'm good. I just really come by to show you some love. And that was the first time I met Michael. He came to my draft party to show me some love. And he was on a motorcycle with motorcycle gear.

• 20:16Lewis Howes?

  That's sick, man.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  He looked so dope.

• 20:18Lewis Howes?

  Was this after you got selected or before?

• 20:20Speaker 01

  This was after.

• 20:21Lewis Howes?

  So you got drafted. It was like that night afterwards?

• 20:23Speaker 01

  It, no, it was like, it was like, uh, like maybe like a week or so later.

• 20:27Lewis Howes?

  Okay, got you.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  Like after I got drafted, flew to Miami, then I went back to Chicago and I was like, party.

• 20:31Lewis Howes?

  Damn. And Mike showed up? You never, he never came to a game or saw anything like?

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Like later, yeah.

• 20:35Lewis Howes?

  No, I mean, in high school, college, in the Chicago area, he never came out?

• 20:39Speaker 01

  I wasn't, I wasn't a big time player like that.

• 20:41Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 20:41Speaker 01

  From the standpoint of people coming to watch me play. Nobody come to Richards High School in Oakland, Illinois to watch me play. I wasn't that good, I guess, right? So the, most of the world didn't hear about me until triple double against Kentucky, final four.

• 20:55Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:57Lewis Howes?

  That's sick. So he came out, twenty-one.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Twenty-one.

• 21:00Lewis Howes?

  When was the first time you had like a real, like proper conversation? Do you remember that?

• 21:04Speaker 01

  Proper conversation?

• 21:06Lewis Howes?

  More than just like a, hey, good, thank you so much, like, you know?

• 21:09Speaker 01

  Um.

• 21:12Lewis Howes?

  And what was the best piece of advice that he told you?

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Um, so the best piece, so I eventually to, as I'm trying to think about it, I eventually end up being with the Jordan brand.

• 21:22Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty sick.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Right?

• 21:23Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty sick.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Like, Jordan end up like personally, oh, it was crazy. It was like, what? Like, this happening? And it is crazy because you think it gotta be something that's so like philosophical, like he gotta tell me something. It was something so simple. He just told me to go get it. We was at All-Star Weekend, Dallas, and we was doing an All-Star party. And my whole family was there, Jordan was there, and my family has never, they've never met Jordan, and my brothers and everybody's there, and we're doing a Jordan party. And Jordan is amazing with everybody. He's, we're all family, we all with the Jordan family, is what it is. And we're talking, and he put his arm around me and he said, tomorrow, go get it. That's all he said. And I'm like, what is he talking about?

• 22:07Lewis Howes?

  What does this mean?

• 22:08Speaker 01

  He was like, yo, I want you to go get it. And so when I got there, he had these sneakers for me, it was the first time I was wearing them, it was these silver Jordans that was like the 2010 Jordans. Um, I was supposed to be the one who was leading the charge of the brand, I had just signed with them. And when I got in the locker room and I got on the court, I realized what he meant. He meant go get that MVP.

• 22:28Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  He meant go for it. Go, go, go create your history.

• 22:31Lewis Howes?

  Ah, wow.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and because we were in Dallas, it was about 110,000 people watching the game. We played the game at the Dallas Cowboy Stadium.

• 22:40Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  And he was like, go get it. And it's crazy, right? It's like, go get it. But for me, that's all was in my mind while I was playing the game. Go get it.

• 22:52Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  And I went and got it.

• 22:53Lewis Howes?

  You went and got it, yeah, you went and got it multiple times. Gosh, that's interesting, yeah. So it wasn't like, go have a fun time and like, just enjoy the moment and have fun. It was like, go be the best and dominate.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, go do something special. You know, don't just be here. Don't be happy to be here and you wearing my shoes. You better go do something.

• 23:11Lewis Howes?

  You better, yeah, you represent the brand, yeah.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember when, I remember when Jordan told me when I first signed with the brand. He said, um, hey, man, I don't want to see these shoes on the floor. I want to see these shoes in the air.

• 23:22Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Cause I will always fall.

• 23:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  I always fell. And so today, actually, it's all over social right now. It's the day that I dunked on Andy, Andy Verajal. It's one of the best dunks, it's one of the best dunks in my career, but some say top 10 NBA history, right? That was Jordan's first game.

• 23:39Lewis Howes?

  The guy with the long hair?

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:40Lewis Howes?

  For Cleveland? Oh, yeah, I'm from Ohio, so.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, Andy.

• 23:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, shout out to Andy. Uh, Jordan, first game to come and see me play in person as a Jordan athlete.

• 23:49Lewis Howes?

  Oh, as a Jordan athlete.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  As a Jordan athlete. He was at, he was in the, he was there before when I was in Chicago playing as a rookie. Um, and that's a whole nother, oh, that is a story. I got that story. But anyway, um, that's, so in my mind, all these things, I was like, yo, he gotta see these shoes in the air. And so I'm coming down the court and I see Andy and he backing up and I'm like, I'm going for it.

• 24:12Lewis Howes?

  And go get it.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  I'm going for it. I'm going to get it.

• 24:14Lewis Howes?

  Going to get it.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  And as you, if you, if you see the highlight, if you guys play the highlight, I dunk it, right? Boom. And I'm about to go to the bench where my team, they're like, go that way and talk some, but I was like, nope. Jordan's over here.

• 24:25Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  Stepped over Andy and went that way and I'm like, that's how you do it. But I'm, I'm really over there like, Jordan, I wanted Jordan to see me, right? You know? Wanted to be proud of me. And so then they showed Jordan's reaction on the video.

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  He was like, he's like, yeah, good looking shoes.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Good looking shoes. You see the shoes though.

• 24:40Lewis Howes?

  See, see them in the air. Yeah, just giving them up as a brand.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's amazing. Were you gonna say another story?

• 24:45Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. So, first game back in Chicago, my rookie year. And I'm coming back home, um, the night before, we played the Washington Wizards, right? And so, leading up to it, I had like, I forget the number, but I, I was, I was, I was scoring like 20 points every game. So I was balling.

• 25:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  And I'm like, I'm, I'm like, I'm tuning up to go to Chicago. So I'm feeling good.

• 25:05Lewis Howes?

  Get ready.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  So long story short, I go up, Jared Jeffries, my guy, he like, he, I ain't gonna say he undercutting me, but like, he kind of went under my, hit my leg a little bit and I fell and I came down and I had to brace myself and, and I end up later, I end up breaking my wrist in 11 places.

• 25:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  I ended up breaking 11 bones in my, in my wrist or whatever the case may be, right? But the, that night, we leave after the game, I'm hurting and everything, and we go to Chicago.

• 25:28Lewis Howes?

  Uh-huh.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Cause we playing the Bulls the next night. And my, my, the guys on my team, the vets was like, yo, we about to go out, go to this little bar, come with us. I'm like, cool. So I go. I run into Michael Jordan. Now, this is the first time I'm actually in his presence and like it's not on a motorcycle. This is the next time.

• 25:44Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so you have like five to 10 minutes with him?

• 25:46Speaker 01

  I have, yeah, I have about two to three.

• 25:49Lewis Howes?

  Which feels like two to three hours, yeah, you're like, every moment, yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Every moment, I have like two to three. And he's, and so mind you, I'm not playing the next day in my mind because my first time back, I'm hurt. I ain't trying to come out here and embarrass myself. I'mma, I'mma wait till we come back. And so Jordan, you know, was talking, he's like, man, you know, you've been playing so good. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. I'll be there.

• 26:10Lewis Howes?

  Oh, shoot. You can't back out now.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Now I gotta play.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Now I gotta play.

• 26:15Lewis Howes?

  How'd you do?

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Not good. I had a nice dunk. But I didn't.

• 26:20Lewis Howes?

  That was not good, yeah. You got a broken wrist.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  I had, after that game, I was like, yo, I need to see what's wrong with my wrist. And I was in the cast for a few months.

• 26:28Lewis Howes?

  That's crazy.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  But the fact, just, just the power of an idol, just the power of an influence, you know what I'm saying? Like, it goes a long way and that's why I tell those stories because Michael didn't know that this was, that all these moments, whether he, he was talking to me, whether he was playing the game of basketball, he didn't know, he didn't know the influence that he was having on the little kid. You know, growing up in, in the city of, of Robbins, Illinois and Chicago. And his influence was so impactful on me, like even to the point when I was 21 years old, uh, in the NBA, I played a game that I should not have played because Michael was like, oh, I'll be there. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

• 27:03Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man.

• 27:04Speaker 01

  Broken wrist and everything.

• 27:05Lewis Howes?

  That's crazy, man.

• 27:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't think I ever told nobody that.

• 27:07Lewis Howes?

  That's crazy.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Publicly, yeah, so.

• 27:09Lewis Howes?

  You've mentioned your, your wife a couple of times, how she's really, it sounds like been an incredible stand for your growth personally, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

• 27:20Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, I've asked a few people this, who are in incredible marriages and have great wives. I'm curious, what is the thing you love about your wife the most and why?

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Hmm. My wife gonna see this huh?

• 27:38Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  I mean, like, I mean, I gotta give a real good answer. What do I love about my, my wife the most and why? So, my wife asked me this the other day.

• 27:48Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 27:49Speaker 01

  This is what's funny about it.

• 27:50Lewis Howes?

  She's like, what do you love about me the most?

• 27:51Speaker 01

  She DM'd me.

• 27:53Lewis Howes?

  She DM'd you on Instagram?

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:54Lewis Howes?

  And said, what do you love about me the most? Wow.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. She did. It's, this, I took a deep breath, because I'm trying to remember what I wrote her.

• 28:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  But.

• 28:03Lewis Howes?

  What's on your heart right now?

• 28:04Speaker 01

  On my heart right now, what I, what I love about my wife, um, the most is, is, is kinda selfish. Because I love the way, um, she catches me when I'm about to fall. I love the way she picks me up when I have, when I have fallen. Um, I love the way, um, you know, she's, she's jumped in the lives of my kids and became, uh, a big influence on their lives, which is, it's not easy, you know, being a stepparent, being a bonus mom, whatever, whatever it is. And she's a huge influence in their lives. Um, you know, so selfishly, I just, I love the way my wife loves me.

• 28:43Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. How does she love you?

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Uh, I mean, I think wholeheartedly with everything she has. I mean, I, I'm going through life trying to find out what love is myself. Like, this is all new. And, you know, it's, the one thing about my wife and our relationship, and, you know, we share a lot, we have a lot of private moments that people don't get to see and don't know, and we don't share. But I, and as I told her, I said, you know what, if we was not married, we will be best friends. We would be best friends.

• 29:09Lewis Howes?

  You would be?

• 29:10Speaker 01

  We would be, because we're like best friends now, like, we're like best friends, like, you know, it's like one of my favorite people. You know, and even though we're married and you know, you want your space, you need this, and everybody need this, I feel like we work together as partners.

• 29:22Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  In life, you know, even when I walk in a room and she, I know she wanna be, like, it's quiet and she ain't talking, and I may say two things and she ain't saying nothing, I'm like, okay, she need a time. I'm out. I'll be back.

• 29:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, we back.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Go hit some balls.

• 29:33Lewis Howes?

  Just the hoops or?

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, you know, I mean, it's just really knowing each other, so I think, like, just like you know your best friend. You know, everything, you ask a man about their best friend, he know everything about him. Ask a woman about their best friend, know everything about them. Ask somebody about their, their partner, he'd be like, ah, what's her favorite color? You know what I'm saying?

• 29:47Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  So if it's your best friend, uh, you get a chance to know, you know, a lot of things about them, and so. Yeah.

• 29:53Lewis Howes?

  So, there's an amazing photo in your book with you and LeBron and your wife on the, you know.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Oh, the Laker game, the last game.

• 30:01Lewis Howes?

  And she's like, screaming at LeBron or you or whatever, just like screaming at you playing defense, I think, against LeBron. And you said in one of the captions, like, one of the things I love about her is how competitive she actually is in life. And she's sweet as all can be, but she's super competitive, which was amazing.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  You saw in that photo.

• 30:21Lewis Howes?

  It's incredible. She's like, wants to kill someone and it's like, rip someone's head off or something. It's amazing, man. I love it. I'm curious, what is your most proud moment of all the incredible moments you've had? Maybe that's, and, and maybe it is winning a championship or winning the gold medal or dunking over someone or playing against Kobe or whatever it is. Maybe it's something big or maybe it's something that no one even knows about behind the scenes. I'm just curious of your entire career, most proud moment for you.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Of my career, not of my life, of my career. Okay, that's different then.

• 30:57Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Getting drafted because that was the moment that showed me I can do anything. Like, I tell my son this all the time. I worked hard just to get drafted. Cause once I got drafted, then it really started, but.

• 31:13Lewis Howes?

  A lot of guys get drafted in the first round and don't make it.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, you know, and I know people are like, get drafted, he's done this, he's done that, he's done that. All those things are amazing. Like, you know, the championships, the individual accolades, the, all that's amazing. But as a young kid from the inner city of Chicago, that grew up a little bit like I told you, I mean, so much more of how I, how I told you, that didn't know at the age of 19, what was next. I had a kid at 19, you know, 20 years old, that, that didn't, that did not get his ACT scores and then was not able to play. Like, all these things that kept trying to knock me down, knock me down, knock me down. To be able to pick myself up, to be able to allow the people around me to help pick me up and to get me to that point where David Stern comes out and say with the fifth pick, the Miami Heat select one where.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  That moment for me will forever go down in history as, I can do anything. We can do anything because I don't supposed to be here. I've, I've watched him try to, nope, get back, here, he go a test. Can you pass this test? No, you ain't gonna make it. Like, it's all these things, it's all, you gonna have a kid now, you really ain't gonna make it. It's all these things. I'm like, you will not stop me. I will keep going. And I did. And so that's the moment for me in my career out of all the things. That moment, man, I put my head down, I remember. I did that, I had my son on my, on my lap, you know, while I was in the draft room. And I was just looking around like, man, I know all these guys here are, I know their names. I know, I know that some of their stories, I don't know all of them, I know some of their stories. But I know my story and I know I shouldn't be here.

• 32:42Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 32:42Speaker 01

  And to be there and to get picked fifth and to go back there, you know, to, to grab that hat, to go in the back. I remember walking in the back and LeBron was back there because he was the first pick. Mello was back there because he was the third pick, Chris Bosh was back there because he was the fourth pick. And we all, you know, we were young, we know each other, we like.

• 33:00Lewis Howes?

  We made it, yeah.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Just in the back, just all of us, four to five, uh, four to top five picks in the draft was, we were all cordial and. You know what I mean, Mello and Bron had a relationship, all of us had a relationship, me and Chris, like, we all were cordial and just to be young guys back then. Like, yo, Mello, yo, Bron.

• 33:16Lewis Howes?

  We made it, yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  We made it. They knew they were going top.

• 33:18Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  I didn't know.

• 33:20Lewis Howes?

  You didn't know you were going top five?

• 33:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 33:21Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 33:22Speaker 01

  I had no idea.

• 33:23Lewis Howes?

  What'd you think, maybe, hopefully in first round, second round?

• 33:26Speaker 01

  No, no, I knew, I mean, I knew first round, like, when I get the draft, they, it was like, okay, D way can go anywhere from the fourth pick to like twenty.

• 33:32Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  So it was a wide range. And in my mind, I'm like, I'm going seven. I'm going seventh to the Chicago Bulls. Like, I worked out.

• 33:40Lewis Howes?

  The story, the dream, every day, yeah.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  Oh, the dream, the Jordan, the.

• 33:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  I worked out for them twice, all the media, all the coverage, I'm like, I'm going to the Bulls. And the Heat picked me at five, so I didn't get a chance to go to the Bulls.

• 33:52Lewis Howes?

  Wow. You did play with them for a season, one year, yeah, yeah.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  I lived the dream out for a year.

• 33:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  I did.

• 33:57Lewis Howes?

  And then you played for my team in Ohio for, what, like a half a season or something?

• 34:00Speaker 01

  I like two seconds.

• 34:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I was like, that's cool though. Um, man, that must have been crazy with all you guys back there.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, it was, it was a moment.

• 34:09Lewis Howes?

  And then to see all of you do so well for so long.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:13Lewis Howes?

  That's kind of rare, like, the top five picks do that well for that long. Usually, there's a few busts and a few people that.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:20Lewis Howes?

  Kind of fizzled out.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Four of the top five picks.

• 34:22Lewis Howes?

  Four of the top five.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Darko was, he didn't have the career in basketball. He has another career, I heard, but he didn't have a career in basketball there.

• 34:28Lewis Howes?

  But you guys did.

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, so four of the top five.

• 34:30Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty big, man.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  We did alright.

• 34:32Lewis Howes?

  You did pretty good, man.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  A couple Hall of Fame careers up in there.

• 34:36Lewis Howes?

  It was baller. I mean, how many was that? Three in the top 75? Or how many in the made the top 75 team?

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, Mello, Brian, myself, in the 2003 class, yeah.

• 34:48Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty, pretty big.

• 34:51Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious about, I had Kobe on a few years ago and I was more, I've told this story on my show before, but I was more impressed with what I witnessed before I interviewed him than the interview. The interview for me was incredible. It was, he was unbelievable how real and honest and open he was. But I got to his office about an hour and 40 minutes before the interview is set up. Cause I booked the interview actually the night before. He had a podcast that he was launching called The Punies. And I remember, I remember getting there early. No one was in, the lights were off in the office. His assistant like unlocks the door, lets me in. She's there and lets me in. Lights come on.

• 35:36Lewis Howes?

  I kind of, she's like, okay, here's where we normally film in this part of the office. And I was like, well, can I see the rest of it? I don't know. I'm assuming you've been to his office.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  I've never been.

• 35:43Lewis Howes?

  Never been there. So it's kind of a big open room. And then there's like these glass windows with conference rooms on either side in a hallway that goes down.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:51Lewis Howes?

  And then it opens up into another big open room. And so I walked down the hallway of these glass kind of conference room windows. And the lights are off in these rooms and I opened up into the next room and I was like, ah, there's nothing here that looks good to film. Let's go back. So I go back and as I'm walking past the last window to open back up in the open room, I see a shadow in the back of the corner of the room, sitting. And I take a double glance as I'm walking by and I'm like, the assistant, I was like, is that Kobe? It's like 6:30 a.m. And he got, I was like, is that Kobe? The lights are off. He's sitting in the, in the back of the room. No computer on, no phone, just kinda sitting there looking up. And but he didn't see me, or I don't think he did, he's kinda turned his back to the window.

• 36:34Lewis Howes?

  And I was thinking, what's he doing here? She was like, he was the first one in here. This is after he won his Oscar and like all his awards and stuff and retired and everything. And I go, he's the first one in here, he doesn't have to be in here. He's like, well, he was working out with his daughter this morning and then he came here before anyone else. And he sat in there and was just like meditating or visualizing, I'm not sure what he did in there for the next hour and a half before he came out. But I was so impressed with his, with that moment.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's all.

• 36:59Lewis Howes?

  Like, no one else saw that.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:01Lewis Howes?

  And I was just like, this guy doesn't have to do this. After he's retired and had all the success, he doesn't have to, but he was still doing it. And that was cool for me to witness someone of that level of greatness.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 37:13Lewis Howes?

  Beyond his career.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, bro.

• 37:15Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, what was, um, one of your favorite moments that you got to witness with him? Maybe you've already talked about it, um, but just curious, whether it be playing or behind the scenes, was there something that you really were inspired by?

• 37:26Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, everything.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  You know, I always talk about my favorite player is Michael Jordan, but my next two, like I say, okay, if he's one, then one A and B or whatever, however you wanna do it, is Kobe and Iverson. Right? And so, idolize the guy as well. And to be able to come into the relationship. And also too, it sucks when I got in, my second year, they picked, they pinned me and Kobe versus each other cause Shaq came to Miami and it was and I'm like, that, oh, no, I don't want him. It's my guy. But I guess the moments for me, which is probably the most special moment is the Olympic moments because that's the time where you get a chance to really get to know someone. You're spending, we, we together for, you know, a month and a half. The Olympics was like over the course of years, like we trained together in Vegas.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  And, and I talk about plenty of stories and one of my favorite stories, uh, is similar to yours. I remember getting into, uh, one of the cities. And like, you know, very late and we couldn't really sleep. You on all kind of time zones, whatever. So, you know, my crew, you know, with Brian, with, uh, you know, uh, Mello and, uh, CP and, you know, the crew.

• 38:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  We all together. And so we decide, we like, yo, tomorrow, man, first person up, wake me up, we gonna go to breakfast, we gonna go eat, like, you know, whatever. Like, the food should open up at this hour and we were hungry.

• 38:48Lewis Howes?

  What, what Olympics was this?

• 38:49Speaker 01

  This was two thousand eight.

• 38:50Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Two thousand eight Olympics. And so.

• 38:52Lewis Howes?

  This is China.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  This is, yeah, but this is on our way.

• 38:55Lewis Howes?

  Okay, you're, you're touring Europe or something and.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  We're touring our way there.

• 38:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, got you.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  And now, I mean, but we get in late, we tired, you know, whatever, but we hungry, but we like, yo, let's go to sleep. And then let's get up so we can eat. Like, let's just, let's, we ain't gonna sleep long, we know it, right? So, anyway, long story short, we all go down there. As we get down there, Kobe's sitting at the table.

• 39:13Lewis Howes?

  Already?

• 39:14Speaker 01

  Already, he's sitting at the table. And he's sitting there, so, so imagine this, it's like this, so imagine this table. And we, like, we're walking from that way and Kobe's sitting where you are and it's, uh, it's his security guy right here. So, we walk in and then he's like, what? He got ice on his knees? So I'm like, what? In my mind, I'm like, wait, he got ice on his knees, what, what are you doing? So we walk over, what's up, Cole? In Kobe Bryant fashion, he look at us and we like, yo, what's good? He like, I just got, just got my second workout in.

• 39:45Lewis Howes?

  He already finished. He just finished his workout. He did not work out already that.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  He already.

• 39:53Lewis Howes?

  No, come on.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  I think he did a basketball workout on the court and I think he did a weight room workout.

• 39:58Lewis Howes?

  Be- before you guys got to breakfast, early morning.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  We were only asleep for about three hours.

• 40:02Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  So, I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, okay. I had always heard about the work ethics of Kobe Bryant. But I never seen him. I'm like, I mean, how, I work hard too.

• 40:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  At that moment.

• 40:14Lewis Howes?

  You got Tim Grover.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, I work hard. At that moment. A different respect from all of us.

• 40:21Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  I was like, I gotta get my together. I gotta start getting up early, you know, and so the same thing is he set himself apart in so many different ways. And it wasn't, maybe that night, maybe I scored more points than him the next night. Who, who, it wasn't about that. The mental, you know, edge that he had on, on people. He understood that I'm playing on a team with all these great young players who trying to come and take my, take the spot. And I'm not only gonna do what they do, just as good or better, I'm gonna do more than them, a lot more than them. Just to separate myself, you know?

• 41:00Lewis Howes?

  That's craziness.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  And so that was like, I explained the Olympic story, but that for me, it always sticks out. Of being able to see, just walk, and I'm, I mean, I'm, I'm two thousand eight, I'm, I'm, I'm good too. Like, you know, I'm, LeBron's bad, we was some bad boys. It was a different level.

• 41:15Lewis Howes?

  That's nuts.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  And that level made us go to a different level.

• 41:20Lewis Howes?

  Man, that's inspiring. Do you feel like you sustained that level in your career? I mean, do you step it up to that? Or are you like, okay, I'm gonna step it up, but it's still not this insanity level of like two workouts at three AM or something before everyone gets there?

• 41:34Speaker 01

  No, I never got there. You know, like, and I feel like you, you gotta find what works for you.

• 41:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  You know, like.

• 41:41Lewis Howes?

  You're living a life, you're having fun, yeah.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like, I, I was more so of a, I was a midnight workout guy. I was, you know, I had, when I came in the NBA, I already had a kid, I was already married. So, you know, I was one of those guys who would go work out early and then go practice and then come back home. Spend time with the family, everybody asleep. Now I'm driving back into the arena at twelve and come back, you know, I did that. I was that guy. So you, you know, you gotta find out.

• 42:05Lewis Howes?

  What works for you.

• 42:06Speaker 01

  What works for you. But in that moment of the Olympics, when I know we tired, these flights are on loan. We're, you know, we're playing, we're traveling, we're practicing this and that, he's older than us. And to see that.

• 42:17Lewis Howes?

  That's, that's another level.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  That's a different level.

• 42:19Lewis Howes?

  You always looked like you had so much confidence on the court. Like, you know, we were talking beforehand how you were saying how you missed like five seconds left, getting the ball and it's down to you. What is this moment with the, the stadium screaming or the, they're booing at you wherever you're at? And you always look like you have so much confidence and poise and grace. And you were like an artist on the court. I think of athletes as artists because I liked it myself as an artist playing football and improvising with the ball in the air and catching the ball and stuff. Did you ever doubt yourself? Did you ever have insecurities? And if so, if so, how did you learn to manage or overcome self doubt so it didn't cripple you?

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Oh my, self doubt creeps in all the time.

• 43:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't know because I don't get to talk to every great human being in the world. But I'm sure all of them has have and do have self doubt at times.

• 43:14Lewis Howes?

  How often was it, was it for you? Was it just in games? Was it every game? Was it, you know?

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Self doubt can be in moments. It can, you can come into a game with all the confidence and then you miss seven shots in a row. Now you got self doubt.

• 43:25Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 43:26Speaker 01

  You didn't miss the open layup. Now you got self doubt. Self doubt comes at random times. You're not prepared for self doubt. It just, and now you gotta get rid of it.

• 43:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. How would you, how would you get rid of it?

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Many different ways. Sometimes your teammates gotta help you get out of it. Sometimes your coaches gotta help you get out of it. Sometimes a coach gotta write up a draw up a play to give me an easy one.

• 43:45Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. How are you tipping it?

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Give me an easy one, you know? And, you know, sometimes you got, you know, sometimes you're looking around the arena. You see a kid in your jersey.

• 43:53Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  You know, you like, alright, it's bigger than me. It's not about, you know, it's a, for me, I use a lot of things. Like, I'm one of them people who can get motivated very easily. But in a sense of getting motivated very easily, you can be down on yourself and have self doubt very easily. Not thinking you're great enough, not thinking you're enough, lacking confidence in your shot, you know? And whatever it was, I definitely had a lot of self doubt, self doubt. But I was always able to pour from things or pour from people and allow them to bring me back. I always tell my son that allow the people around you. God has put these people in your life for a reason. So allow your friends, allow me, allow the people you trust around you to bring you back. Because we're gonna have those moments of self doubt when we feel, you know, you feel you, you ugly.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  You feel, you know, I wish I was tall. I wish my feet looked like, like whatever. We doubt a lot. And you gotta have people around you to bring you back. You gotta allow them to bring you back. And that's all I always tell my son, allow it. So right now, you know, and I'm having moments, I'll be like, Be have your anger, have your disgust with missing a shot, whatever. Allow people around you though to bring you back. Don't stay in it too long.

• 45:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  Cause you get lost. You go down a dark road if you stay in self doubt too long.

• 45:05Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  It's dark.

• 45:07Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  You know, and so um it's it's life is hard enough. Life is hard enough. It's been hard enough for me. It's been it's hard enough for all of us every day, right? So you don't want to add an extra one was already hard. And so you know, the the thing with self doubt for me is like, once again, it's it's just allowance. It's allowing people that I put in my circle that God has put around me to bring me out of it.

• 45:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I love how you talked about your sister got you into these kind of dream visualization states. When you're a kid and you started using that uh when you're playing the game.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:40Lewis Howes?

  Did you have a specific routine right before every game or in between timeouts or anything where you put your mindset in a certain frame? Um, or was it more just I'm just showing up and doing my thing or how did how did your mind? Show up for you.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:56Lewis Howes?

  In those moments.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, great. So so how my book is set up, I set it up by the first chapter that you will see is called pregame.

• 46:04Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  And then it's first quarter, second, third, fourth, and then postgame.

• 46:07Lewis Howes?

  Halftime also.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Right halftime, sorry. That's when like, you know, that's the celebrity side.

• 46:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  Halftime. So. Look at him.

• 46:14Lewis Howes?

  I went through the book, man.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  Look at you.

• 46:16Lewis Howes?

  I saw the digital version.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Look at you, bro.

• 46:18Lewis Howes?

  I went through everything, man.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  That was impressive.

• 46:19Lewis Howes?

  I saw everything, man.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  That was impressive.

• 46:22Lewis Howes?

  I got you.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  So uh pregame and I talk about pregame, but pregame is getting prepared for the game, right? And so I think over the course of my career, you know, I I never was a person who did the same thing every time, like I didn't put my right sock on before I put my left. I so but you do try to find things that were some of them stick with them. And so some of my more iconic. Pregame things when it came to what the fans seeing uh was two things. One, I used to do these three pull ups on a ram before every game.

• 46:49Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh. Put your head up through it, right?

• 46:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I tried to flex my muscles a little bit, you know. You know, and it was a way to kind of get jacked and get ready for the game, you know, do a couple of pull-ups, um, the whole, all the attention go to me, everybody, and I scream, ah, just, you know, the microphone is in there, um, and one of the other things I did on, on court wise was a part of my pre, like, this is all a part of my pregame, because I need, these things are, are what, of what I've, you know, put into my pregame of what I need before I play. If I don't go do that, I feel off. Something's off. And so, I was, um, um, I was at a dinner recently with, uh, with a lot of friends, but one of them is James Gordon. And James, uh, on record to say I'm his favorite basketball player, and he tells me why. Okay, right? And so, the, the reason I'm his favorite basketball, play a long story short, he didn't know anything about basketball, he come to the stage, he goes to a game, it's

• 47:36Speaker 01

  in Miami, uh, he's sitting next to a guy, he's like, hey, uh, who should I be cheering for? The guy say, number three, you should watch him. And so, I come out, and before the game, I will always, you know, go dap all my teammates, my coaches, I go dap everybody at the scorer's table, all the, uh, the announcers, everybody, right? Not, not the refs, not, not. But then I will go to each end of the floor, with all four, all four sides, and I'll raise, I'll go and I'll just get everybody like this, right? And I'll run to the next side, and I'll be like, and I just get everybody lifted. And so, he was just like, that was so amazing to him, because he was just like, this was his first game, and like, when I did that, the energy in the arena went up, and he was like, oh my God, I love this guy,

• 48:18Speaker 01

  right? Uh, and that was one of the things that, like, I needed to do. I needed to, like, show respect and show love to the, to the, the people who spend their hard money to come and watch us play. I'm letting you know, I'm about to try to give you my best tonight, I'm ready. Um, and so, that was, that was one of my things from a pregame standpoint on the court, you know, that I would do that, I needed to do that. It's kind of like, if, if anybody know anything about me, they will be like, oh, yeah, he did the chin-ups, or, yeah, he did like this. You know, people, people knew that. It was like in video games and all kind of stuff, right? But in the locker room, the most important thing for me, pregame, which I did every game, was I needed a moment by myself to quiet the noise. I'd already prepared. I'm already dressed, I've worked out, coach has said his thing.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  I've always took moments. But I will go in the back in the shower, you know, I will go in the back in the steam room. I go in the back in the bath, in the toilet area, wherever I can find quiet time. I need a quiet time. I need a quiet time to once again visualize what I wanted in this game. I visualize before every game, how I wanted the game to go. Did it always go that way? Of course not. But always the power of visualization. And so before every game, I would take five minutes and I'll visualize how I wanted the game to go.

• 49:30Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, and that was one of my pre-game.

• 49:33Lewis Howes?

  I love that.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  In the locker room.

• 49:34Lewis Howes?

  I love that. And what about when you were losing, which didn't happen often? How did you frame your mindset in those places? Whether you're down by two or 20, which probably didn't happen that often.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Oh, it happened.

• 49:47Lewis Howes?

  But most of the times, and you're like, you know, in your championship runs and everything, it's like you guys were winning all the time. But when you were behind, where would your mind go? Would you go focus inward? Would you go focus on teammates? Would you focus on the coach? Would you focus on, like, what would your mind think about in order to bring you guys back?

• 50:07Speaker 01

  I'm sure a lot of different things. But I probably, my, one of my greatest strengths, I think, I don't know if anybody else think it, is the even-kill-ness of, of me, right? Like my personnel and everything, I kind of stay real even-kill.

• 50:23Lewis Howes?

  Not too high, not too low.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  Too high, not too low. And that was one message that Coach Spo. Even though like, it seemed like that message followed me. Like my high school coach would say it in his own way. Coach Spo would talk about it in his own way. Talk about the ebb and flow. He'd talk about, listen, let's stay here. Even when we won 27 games in a row, it was like, yo, let's stay here. But we want to go there. He like, let's stay here. So I think that was one of my greatest strengths, was the ability to stay even-kill. And so when you know your team is talented enough to come back from 20, you can have confidence. When you own a team and you know you're not talented enough to come back from 20, you're gone. You're like, well, this was over. Let me get my numbers, you know, whatever it is like so different teams depending on if you're down 20 or it gives you different kind of swagger and confidence. No lie, I'm not gonna

• 51:09Speaker 01

  say that every team I played on, I was like, no, we good. No, it was some teams I'm like, no, guys, we in trouble. We gotta start, we can't start the game off getting down 10. We not coming back. We don't have enough firepower. But when you are part of the big three era and you're playing with Ray Allen and LeBron and Chris Bosh and

• 51:25Lewis Howes?

  You can do anything.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  Listen, you like

• 51:27Lewis Howes?

  We can go back to 40.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Two minutes left, down 35. Let's pick it up, fellas. Come back and win by 20. That's how you feel. Right? And so, yeah.

• 51:37Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. I'm curious, where do you think you would be in your life if you didn't have great coaches? Where do you think you'd be as an athlete, your career, if you weren't put in the position with great coaching on your side? Do you think you would still be able to accomplish what you want? Do you think you'd struggle more?

• 51:54Speaker 01

  You'd have never heard of me. You'd never heard of me. I've watched so many great athletes, a lot of great athletes in my neighborhood, in my high school.

• 52:02Lewis Howes?

  Probably more athletic than you, probably.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  Way more, better, more coordinated.

• 52:06Lewis Howes?

  Jump higher.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Everything. So I've watched it. And I've watched a lot of great athletes not have the, not get opportunities, or not have the right mentor. All these things. I got lucky because I had so many great mentors. And it started from a coaching standpoint, you know, and I talk about it in my documentary, I mentioned in my book, I talk about my, Gary Adams was my high school assistant coach, who was the first person to take me and say, hey, do you want to be great?

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Before I knew what great was, he was like, do you want to be great? And I was like, yeah. He was like, well, I need you to show up every day. And it was like summertime. I remember.

• 52:47Lewis Howes?

  You're like, I just want to play.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  I want to be my friends. I want to hang out. He was like, I'm gonna come and pick you up. I'm gonna hit the horn one time. You better come out. You better be ready. If you're late one day, I ain't never coming back.

• 52:55Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  If you want to be great. This is what you do.

• 53:00Lewis Howes?

  Damn.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  Every day in the summer, every day in the summer after my freshman year, I was in the gym with Gary Adams. And so that was the start of it. My dad was my first coach, but like that was the start of like all these great mentors. Jack Fitzgerald, my high school coach, amazing mentor, amazing, you know, person to, you know, to help me with this vision of, I think I want to go to college coach, you know what I mean? All right, well, let's go to some games. You know what I mean? Like my high school coach and my assistant coach, they would take me to games.

• 53:26Lewis Howes?

  College games.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  College games.

• 53:27Lewis Howes?

  Go watch it.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I went to a Marquette game once. Didn't even know Marquette was a part of my future. I went to a Marquette game. So all these mentors, man, I would be nowhere if it wasn't for people taking, you know, a likeness to me. Um, you know, and, and me respecting their time, respecting, you know, what they were trying to give me. And just applying it and doing it and being like, I'm open. Give me all, give me everything because I, I always just, I wanted different. I didn't want what I seen. I just knew what I would see. I'm like, I don't want this. I want something different for my family. And so every opportunity I had, somebody that come in my life, I think I, like I felt it. I was like, this person is in my life for a reason. Let me connect with this person. You know what I mean? Like some, some people come in your life, like they don't need to be in there. And some people you like,

• 54:14Speaker 01

  and so my mentors, my coaches, they were all in my life for a reason. I listened, you know, as hard headed as I may have been as a kid growing up, I listened to my coaches.

• 54:23Lewis Howes?

  What were a couple of the greatest lessons you remember from some of those coaches? Whether it be the high school coach or, you know, NBA coaches. Do you remember a couple of lessons that really stand out?

• 54:33Speaker 01

  The greatest lessons. I would say like, I think the thing I carry in life is, is one of the greatest lessons probably come from

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Pat Riley and the Miami Heat. You know, I feel that even in business, even as a father, I use a lot of the, the verbiage, the language, the examples, um, that I learned when I came into, uh, to the NBA, into Miami. And, you know, I talked about this in my retirement speech is Miami has this thing called culture. Everyone is like, well, what is the Miami culture? And to me, what the Miami culture is, is.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  It's in a this is discipline, right? It teaches you discipline. It's military in a way. But it teaches you ownership of.

• 55:23Lewis Howes?

  The Miami Heat culture.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  The Miami Heat culture.

• 55:25Lewis Howes?

  Not the city of Miami culture.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  That's why the culture of Miami has to teach you discipline. Because the city of Miami.

• 55:31Lewis Howes?

  That's why I was like, I can't make it sure.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  The city of Miami is teaching you temptation at its highest.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  But I would say like the lessons that I learned is, you know, is and it was models in Miami was, you know, we're going to be the best condition. The mostest, the toughest. And all of those lessons to me was important. Coming from where I come from, not having a lot of structure. You know, not having a lot of discipline. I mean, especially getting into the world of having money, having fame.

• 56:03Lewis Howes?

  And not knowing what to do with this. How did you learn to manage fame and finances when it's like you never had it? And now you've got an abundance seeming of it?

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Making mistakes. And I've spent a lot of it and done a lot of dumb things, not knowing about it, you know? Once you get it, everything that you've ever wanted, you can now have, right? And so what are you going to do? You're going to go get it. If you don't know.

• 56:25Lewis Howes?

  Jordan told me to go get it.

• 56:28Lewis Howes?

  Jordan said, go get it, I'm going to get it. And then I got, I lost it all.

• 56:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do. And so I think, I think for me, you know, just really, and I just go back to Miami. Miami, the pulse that Miami had, the hand that Pat Riley put on their shoulder that a lot of people don't like because you kind of feel guided. You kind of feel like a child at time.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  But the lessons that it taught me about what it takes to build a culture, what it takes to actually win. You know, that's the lessons that I take in my everyday life when I'm building a business. When I'm building a family atmosphere, you know, in my household, when I'm working with my wife as partners. I take so many lessons from, you know, my days in Miami and what Pat Riley stands for of building a culture that is built on discipline, is built on respect, is built on. Toughness, not giving up, not quitting. The next man is just as important, like, you know, all these, these, these, these tools.

• 57:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's inspiring, man. When someone finds a great coach, or someone finds a, a coach that wants to support them, whether it be as an athlete or in life, what should that student do in your mind? If they see that, hey, someone's showing interest in me, I think they're a good coach, they're great, they could be a great coach, or they've, they've got proven results in the past, how should that student show up to get the best out of it?

• 57:53Speaker 01

  What would you do if it was a, it was a girl you liked, or a guy that someone, you know, was interested in, or, you know, a relationship that you wanted, and they showed interest in you, what would you do? You going towards it, if you want, if you want it as well.

• 58:07Lewis Howes?

  You want it, yeah.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  Right, so if I wanted, and you showing interest in me, what I'm gonna do?

• 58:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  So that's the same thing, right? It's the same mentality, is if a coach is showing interest in you, and, and you want to be great, you want to be at this level, then you do what you do when you see that person you want. You go all in, you won't, don't miss that moment, because you know, like, you know, when you're shy like I was growing up, you miss moments, you miss these opportunities, you're like, dang, next time. It may not be a next time. And so when you have a coach that's really pouring something into you, because it's hard for a coach to pour something into every player. But when they focus on you, when they cussing you out in practice, when they kicking you out of practice, they care, in a weird way.

• 58:43Lewis Howes?

  They do.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  They do. And so, for me, is gravitate towards that, is understand that every, it's certain people is put in our lives for certain reasons. Right? And you can miss it. You can miss it, you can let that person go, you can let that person walk out, you can miss that moment, because maybe you're not ready.

• 58:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 01

  And so, the, the saying is, stay ready, so you have to get ready.

• 59:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 59:04Speaker 01

  So whenever, when that moment comes, if you find a coach, stay ready, be ready, be prepared. Because this right here can, it can change your entire trajectory in life.

• 59:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  Just by this one mentorship, this one coach, you know, that one experience.

• 59:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Your book is amazing, though. I did go through the digital version of it because I was going through it yesterday. They sent that over. Dwayne, your kind of whole life, your story and your career. But I went through this all that and I know everything. I know the half top. I know everything. Even the part you missed. I saw everything here. I read through this. Really inspiring. I mean, it's an amazing showcase of kind of your life, your story. But I think what's really cool is the mindset behind the scenes. So I want people to pick up a copy of this, get a get a copy for a friend or a family member. It shows like everything that you've really been through, which is really cool. And I want people to get this because it's inspiring. It'll be a good piece. You can put it on your

• 59:56Speaker 01

  It's a coffee table. It's a coffee table book.

• 59:59Lewis Howes?

  It's really cool.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 1:00:00Lewis Howes?

  It's really cool.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:00:01Lewis Howes?

  And that stuff about your relationships. I'm curious. I don't know how many people ask you about relationships because you guys put it out there, your relationship. And I think the stigma is that

• 1:00:13Lewis Howes?

  high-profile athletes, high-profile actors, celebrities struggle in intimate relationships. That's the kind of stereotype. You see them get together, then they break up, right? Just curious, what would be the three things that someone who is going to build a bigger personal brand? Maybe they've got an audience. Maybe they're a celebrity or they're going to be a celebrity in some industry or in the world. What would you say are the three keys to sustaining a healthy, quality, long-term relationship? Committed.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  As a person who's been divorced and made a lot of mistakes.

• 1:00:47Lewis Howes?

  Well, that's why you know. Let me see. That's why you know because you've made the mistakes. But now you've got this incredible, or at least seems incredible, you know, relationship and marriage and what would you say are the three keys, knowing that it's never perfect, but what would those three keys be?

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  I don't know. I know the first one comes to mind is respect.

• 1:01:03Lewis Howes?

  Respect.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  It's respecting what the other person is, what they, you know, what they are, what they bring to the table. Respect, you know, in a relationship, everyone needs to feel respected. And when you come home from a hard day of work, you've been doing this and that, you want to come home and feel like you appreciate it. You respect it for the hard work that you put in and what you provide for the house, right? And so. In any relationship, in any partnership, everyone wants to feel, you know, respected for what they bring and what they do. Yeah. And so I, I think it's the same in, in any relationship with my wife. She wants to feel, my wife works, she grind, she's working right now on a movie. She's not home with, with my daughter and so I need to, I need to make sure she feel appreciated.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Make sure she feel seen and make sure she feel, you know, respected when she come through that door and it's not like, you know, and, and it was, and it's not easy. You know, because my life is so big and at times I can kind of get in my own life and I kind of, you know, uh, be like this a little bit. And I'm not, not, not trying to be, but you know, that's showing a, a lack of, uh, respect for what she do. And you know, how hard she works and her position. Her position is not to always be behind me. Her position sometime is to be behind me, to be on side of me, to be in front of me, to whatever, right? It's, it's ever evolving. And so the first thing comes to mind is respect. Yes. Go with that. Number two. Okay.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  Number two, uh, be open. Ooh. Be open. You know, I feel like when I, me and my wife first got together, I was a closed minded person. Really? Yeah, when it came to travels, when it came to eating food, when it came to conversations with people. And I'm still, it's still times when my wife got to come in and be like, no, I need you to do this, or you should do this, or this is why you should do this. And I'm like, okay, alright. You know, so be open minded, you know, and I feel like being open, like if you have a partner in business, be open to his, his or her ideas. You know, even if you are the one who started a company, but they're there for a reason. Right. So, you know, be open to suggestions, be open to another way. Understand that to lead doesn't mean you always have to lead in the front.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  So, you know, be open to other ideals. Yeah. You know. Okay, and the third? Go with that. The third one. Healthy, long-term, committed, happy relationship. What is that third key?

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Be, let's see, respect, be open, and, um, I would say, because I do a lot of this, I think, you know, a lot of people probably see socially, like I do a lot of things. A lot of surprises for my wife. I do a lot of, uh, you know, take, you know, plan a lot of things. Yeah. And the reason I do that is because we know how it is, you know, listen, marriage is probably. People probably gonna be mad at me, but marriage is probably one of the most unsexiest things in the world. You get to see behind the curtain of everything.

• 1:03:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like, when you marry, you get to see everything about this person. And it's not the most, it's not the sexiest thing in the world, right? To see everything. And so, to, to keep the spot, to keep the, you know, to keep your, you wanting, or your wife wanting, or, you know, you gotta do these things. You gotta go on date nights.

• 1:04:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  You know, you gotta go, you know, change your hair up. You know what I'm saying? You gotta go spend a little money and, you know, go out to beautiful places. So for me, I'm like a, oh, I guess I'm romantic. I think being romantic is a key. I think, not just from one side, both sides need the romance, the romantic part of it.

• 1:04:28Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  If you're gonna, if you're gonna be married.

• 1:04:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  You need to keep, you know, you gotta keep some of that romance, that romantic part. So for me, I, I feel like it's been spontaneous, it's been adventurous, you know, is, is, is being, for me, not scared to, to do things that maybe don't look so mancho, or man don't, you got, we don't do that. You know, it's like, no, my wife actually leaves the house a lot.

• 1:04:54Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  If you're in a successful marriage and relationship, your wife actually leaves the house a lot.

• 1:04:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  You follow a lot too, you know?

• 1:05:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  Uh, so, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if those are good ones.

• 1:05:03Lewis Howes?

  It's good, man. It's great, I love it. Um, I have two final questions for you. It's a question I ask called the three truths. It's a hypothetical scenario. Imagine it's your last day on earth. You get to live as long as you wanna live.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05:15Lewis Howes?

  Uh, and you get to live all your dreams, and everything comes true.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05:20Lewis Howes?

  But for whatever reason, you've gotta take all of your body of work with you. The book, you know, uh, this interview, any interview you've ever done, we don't have access to your information anymore. It's all to the next place. It goes with you or it goes somewhere else. But you get to leave behind, you got a pen and a paper, and you get to write down three things you know to be true about life, about your existence, about life, three lessons that you would leave behind to the world. And this is all we would have to remember you by. What would you say are those three truths for you?

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  Now, these lessons are just lessons that... What are these lessons?

• 1:05:53Lewis Howes?

  These are like things that you would leave, you would say to the world, you know? If I could share three things to the world about the lessons on how to live a great life. What would be those three lessons? Or three things that you feel are true to you? That you would want people to know about living a great life?

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Okay, the first thing that comes to mind.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  Is something simple. Hard work.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  Nothing is accomplished. Without hard work. You know, and I know some people think, oh, this guy got it handed to him. Now, if you're, if you're, if you're gonna be great. And if you are great. And if you're good. You gotta work hard at it. You know what I mean? Like, even if you're bad, you actually gotta work hard at being bad, too. So, for me. My main message to my son is about the work he put in. It's about hard work.

• 1:06:47Lewis Howes?

  Okay, number two.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  That'd be one.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Number two. Lesson that I will leave behind.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Patience.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  I believe that as people, we all need a little bit more of this. And, and, and I'm not talking about in every aspect. Some things need to hurry up. But. Like, we need more patience in traffic. Like, we need more patience with each other. We need more, more patience in relationships to understand that you come from a totally different place than I. You come from a totally different background. So, I need patience to learn, to listen. You know what I mean? And we don't have a lot of that. We're in a world right now where it's, cancel, you out. Have some patience. All right, teach me, educate me. Um, so patience.

• 1:07:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, okay. Number three.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  Hard work. Patience.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  And the third one, if I had to leave something. Would be energy.

• 1:07:43Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, amen to that.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Energy, uh, I'm a firm believer in the energy you put out is the energy you receive.

• 1:07:51Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  The way you treat others is the way you, you know, if you treat someone bad, they may not treat you bad. If you're treating people bad, you may not be treated bad, but somebody in your family may. So I treat, you try to treat others like you want people in your family to be treated. You treat others with the respect, you know, look you in the eye when we talk or shake your hand. Whatever it is, you know, try to treat people the way you want to be. So the energy you give out, to me, is what you receive back.

• 1:08:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  So, energy.

• 1:08:16Lewis Howes?

  Great truths, man. Uh, I've got one final question, but before I share the final question, make sure you guys get a copy of the book. Really inspiring book, um, a lot of great lessons, a lot of great images, stories. I mean, you've had an incredible career and I feel like it's just getting started. This is like, this is like, you know, uh, this is period number two for you. You know, this is like, you had your NBA career, now it's like, you're not even a half-time.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm in, I'm in pregame in my new life.

• 1:08:44Lewis Howes?

  You're pregame.

• 1:08:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm in pregame, I'm in pregame in my new life, yeah.

• 1:08:46Lewis Howes?

  But, uh, get a copy, get a copy for your friends, um, and, uh, spread the message about the book. Really inspiring book and I'm glad I got to go through it last night, it was really cool. Before I ask the final question, uh, Dwayne, I want to acknowledge you for a moment for being an incredible human being. Again, all the people I reached out to and asked about you, they didn't talk about how amazing you were as a player. They talked about how incredible you are with your heart. And so I really acknowledge you for the gift that you are, how you show up with energy, how you show up and the impact you've made. I mean, you're a mentor to so many kids, just the way Michael was for you. You don't even know the impact you've made on so many kids' lives who are now growing up that got to watch you play.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:27Lewis Howes?

  And so I really acknowledge you for how you've shown up every single day on and off the court. Not a perfect human being, obviously, we all make mistakes, but you keep showing up authentically you. And for me, that's pretty cool to watch. So I acknowledge you for that and it's, uh, and I've rooted for you for many, many years, man. I hope you have a lot of success because you deserve it.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Man, I got, I got a little warm in me. Thank you, man, I just got a little warm.

• 1:09:50Lewis Howes?

  Of course, man, and my final question is what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:09:55Speaker 01

  Consistency.

• 1:09:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  To be great, you gotta be consistent. You gotta do, you gotta do it every day. You know, when you think about the greatest player to ever, the greatest players or player, depending on what you want to talk about, to ever play the game, it's the consistency in that player. LeBron James is one of the greatest because he hasn't missed a lot of games. He's been consistent. So for me, you know, that's, that's the thing I strive for, is to be consistent and understanding that we are imperfect human beings. We're gonna make mistakes. We're gonna lack in certain areas. But I try to be a consistent presence, a consistent voice, you know, a consistent person, you know? And so I feel like if you, if you can focus in on the consistency of life, you know, that's the thing that will get you to greatness. Now, at different times, you may get there.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  It may take you 20 years to get there, it may take you one year, but just stay consistent, stay true to you, stay consistent to the work, and that's where greatness follow. And I think, and I'm gonna mess it up, but Will Smith said this recently, and shout out to Will, he's on his book tour. Yeah. It's weird too, that his book is called Will, the man's called Dwyane. But he said, and I, and I talked to my son about it, and like I said, I may miss a quarter, but you know, is, and I always say to my son, I say, listen, the goal is, every day, is to put one foot in front of the next, right? Is, no matter how hard yesterday was, it's every day, get out of bed, it's something that you believe in and you want, then go at it, every day.

• 1:11:23Speaker 01

  And if you put enough good days together, you fuck around and have a good life. And to me, that's consistency, is putting enough consistent days together. You mess around and you have a good life. Phew. And so, I use, I, I tell my son that all the time, and then Will said, and I was like, this is what I was saying. Yeah, yeah. So, consistency. I love that. My man, thank you very much. My hand's sweaty, so. Appreciate you very much, man.

• 1:11:50Lewis Howes?

  Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys, so share a review over on Apple. And let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.