What Does a Wedding Cost? (and Other Burning Questions) with Planner Jacquelyn Aleece

We have Ashley's wedding planner in the house! Jacquelyn Aleece, founder of The Wedding Plan & Company, joins us to answer all your burning questions about weddings and spill some tea. We discuss money stuff – how much a wedding actually costs, where to save and where to splurge, her #1 budgeting tip, if there really is a "wedding tax" when it comes to vendors, and so much more. We're also chatting about the biggest mistakes couples make when planning, bands vs. DJs, and how to make your wedding feel more fun/less stuffy. As for the tea – What kind of bride is Ashley? Can Jacquelyn tell if a couple isn't going to make it? What's the biggest drama at weddings? – and more. Before she joins us, we're catching up on Rayna's houseguests and Ashley's wedding dress drama. Enjoy! Follow The Wedding Plan & Co. on Instagram @theweddingplanandcompany and visit their website for more. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for live show tickets and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Smart Mouth: Get a special discount on your next SmartMouth purchase at https://www.smartmouth.com/gge/. Function: Our first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit toward your membership at https://functionhealth.com/gge or use code GGE100. Saks Fifth Avenue: Head to Saks Fifth Avenue for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style, every day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  First of all, if you want to know if you're marrying the right person, just ask your wedding planner.

• 0:02Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I'm

• 0:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I mean, I'm dead serious.

• 0:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  This podcast is a Dear Media production.

• 0:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

• 0:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Welcome back.

• 0:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Wedding episode.

• 0:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Actually, I'm so excited. One month.

• 0:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Not even on my wedding, but I'm excited.

• 0:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Really one month till things pop off. So we are pretty much now, I guess, starting technically on the 29th of October.

• 0:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Is that Wednesday?

• 0:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  With like fam- with close family that's coming into town. And it's not an official event. It's not in the itinerary, but people are probably going to come to our house. And that is the day that I met him.

• 0:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Wait, that's crazy.

• 0:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 0:57Rayna Greenberg?

  What?

• 0:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  We met on October.

• 0:59Rayna Greenberg?

  I know.

• 1:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Isn't that crazy? He, like, there's these things keep coming up that we didn't even think about. I mean, this was the same thing as me realizing my best friend Cory and I have the, we're going to have the same anniversary. Like, we met at the show in Boston on October 29th, 2021.

• 1:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Actually, that's, I'm like so shocked by this. This is crazy.

• 1:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  And now, four years later, we're getting married and that's when things are going to kick off. It's really special.

• 1:29Rayna Greenberg?

  It is really special.

• 1:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So, anyway.

• 1:32Rayna Greenberg?

  You don't like to make any plans. You've made all my plans for me this fall and I love it.

• 1:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know you're just so long for the ride.

• 1:38Rayna Greenberg?

  A lot, a bunch of bachelorettes. We're going to go for your special taping, your wedding. I don't want to do our plans when your wedding's over.

• 1:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, we have a couple other people getting married. Like, you know, I've been meaning to say this to you. I have more weddings this year and bachelorette parties than I ever have in my life at 40.

• 1:53Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I've had a really different life trajectory than like the average person. So have you. Like, we have a lot of weddings this year.

• 2:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Oh, coming up.

• 2:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 2:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 2:02Rayna Greenberg?

  And bachelorette parties.

• 2:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like the fiscal year. Like from my stuff to like, yeah, we have Alyssa.

• 2:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Jenny just got married, my friend Sam's getting married, like all these bachelorette parties. It's kind of crazy.

• 2:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so fun.

• 2:14Rayna Greenberg?

  I had a great 30s, that decade, just unscathed by people's spouses or children.

• 2:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  It really is funny. It's the 20s and the 40s is the second wave for us at least. Taylor, yeah, I'm saying it's like, but I love it because we don't have a lot of plans next year. Well, I don't.

• 2:34Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm gonna make a plan.

• 2:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're gonna make a plan, but I feel really free, like with like Alyssa's sister emailed about the bachelorette. And I'm like, I can go anytime.

• 2:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, in my life.

• 2:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was like, fill out your dates, like anytime works.

• 2:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Is that crazy? Yeah, that's been my year, the whole year. I don't, I don't, I never know what city I'm going to be in day to day. I have so many people coming to stay with me. People are like, can I stay at your house? I'm like, yeah, we're wide open.

• 2:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's fun, yeah.

• 3:00Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, well, we'll thank our partners and then we'll get like right into it. But thank you to Smart Mouth, get a special discount on your next Smart Mouth purchase at smartmouth.com/gge. And Function, our first 1,000 listeners get a $100 credit towards your membership at functionhealth.com/gge or use the code GGE100.

• 3:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you to Saks Fifth Avenue. Head to Saks Fifth Avenue or saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style. So my fiance is leaving for his bachelor party and he hasn't traveled without me. Like we've gone on a lot of trips together, but I'm always the one leaving and touring and he stays with Azul. And so he hasn't left me since he's moved in.

• 3:43Rayna Greenberg?

  That's insane.

• 3:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 3:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm so sorry.

• 3:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or he's, if he's traveled, we've both been gone.

• 3:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 3:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  So he has done stuff.

• 3:49Rayna Greenberg?

  You haven't been alone up in the house.

• 3:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, that's my point. I haven't slept in my bed alone since January 31st. I've been alone plenty when I'm, when I'm traveling, but like he hasn't left me alone in the home. Like I always want to be with him and I like, I miss him when I'm apart from him. I really just do love him so much, but like I am looking forward to being alone.

• 4:13Rayna Greenberg?

  I love being alone.

• 4:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Watching my TV. I only got two days of it, we're recording a little bit farther out, but I only have two days and then I'm, I'm leaving again. But it's just like, you know, I don't hate it.

• 4:23Rayna Greenberg?

  I love being alone.

• 4:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 4:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I just hadn't been alone. It's, I'm just always in the house doing something.

• 4:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  It is. Your life changes so drastically. This is not a hot take, but to be alone all the time and then to never be alone is kind of nuts.

• 4:39Rayna Greenberg?

  I lived with two men all through my twenties. I was just never alone. I lived with a man in my thirties. I just, I love being alone.

• 4:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I mean, I love living with him.

• 4:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I know you do.

• 4:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I'm gonna love to be alone also.

• 4:51Rayna Greenberg?

  I am actually about to have the opposite experience. My house is booked and busy.

• 4:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  You are hosting an Airbnb.

• 4:56Rayna Greenberg?

  I really, well, Jeremy is staying with me this week and then Jackie comes, then I'm leaving and Jeremy and Jackie are staying at my house together.

• 5:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  The way you are running a hostel out of that place.

• 5:05Rayna Greenberg?

  And then our other friend Jackie is staying with me.

• 5:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  So fun.

• 5:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Andrew and Brenna are staying at my house. Jackie's gonna stay. Actually, we have two different Jackies staying. I have a constant, and everybody wants to come out for your wedding early. So like, all of our friends are coming the, a lot of the weekend before. I've had three separate people, including one former couple, both asked to stay at my house and I had to give priority to one of them because one of them asked first.

• 5:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Brina, do you have a spreadsheet for this shit?

• 5:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I started making notes about who's staying with me every single day.

• 5:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  I need to get the schedule too, because I want to be over there.

• 5:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, and then my brother and sister-in-law might come, and then, oh, Melanie might come out. And yeah, I have a lot of business.

• 5:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is crazy.

• 5:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, you know, I complain every single day that I have nothing to do in LA and I'm always alone, so.

• 5:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's gonna be fun.

• 5:49Rayna Greenberg?

  That's the answer.

• 5:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's gonna be so fun.

• 5:50Rayna Greenberg?

  So excited.

• 5:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, I love it.

• 5:52Rayna Greenberg?

  And we just booked your third bachelorette.

• 5:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, yeah, I guess we are sharing all the wedding details today. Yeah, you guys knew I was gonna do three.

• 6:02Rayna Greenberg?

  And you waffled and you canceled it a couple of times.

• 6:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 6:05Rayna Greenberg?

  And I was like, I'll get her back.

• 6:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't know if I want to do this. So yeah, we are gonna go to Vegas. I wanted to go to Vegas and it's so easy. Like, I was like, I can't add this to my plate. And then I was like, it is actually so easy. It is a quick flight. It's one night only. Staying in hotels. There's not like a house to check into. People are bringing decorations and food. I mean, the Dewey house was insane, the amount of like, things that Lee and Corey brought into that house and then had to leave with, you know? And so, this is just like, so easy. I mean, it's get there, go to dinner, see the Chippendales, have a pajama party, room service, breakfast the next morning, and get the fuck home. Like, it's low lift.

• 6:43Rayna Greenberg?

  This is the real bachelorette party to me, because we take them, sorry to everyone who's not coming here.

• 6:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Shots fired.

• 6:47Rayna Greenberg?

  But, I mean, Dewey, we go every summer. And so, we're with this like, amazing crew, but we do Dewey every summer. Vegas is the thing.

• 6:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm not gonna cosign this.

• 6:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  So that's pretty much what's going on. I had like a dress update, just you know, a little, little bit of tea. I picked up my dress and you know, you go to the boutique, we talked about it, you went, my mom, Taylor, it was a really special time. And then you, you know, drop a bunch of stacks on this dress and they take your measurements and then you go back to pick it up months later. And they typically say you will need more alterations. I think that typically means because a lot of brides lose weight. And because I was like, what do you mean? I, you measured me. This better be made for my body. And I think a lot of people are like, yeah, but I'm still wanting to lose weight. And that just is not like really my story. I was like, this is probably going to be my body when I pick it up. So I, I go to

• 7:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  pick it up. I was so excited. I brought another friend, Anushka, who didn't get to go to the first appointment. And so she came with me and I was expecting this like incredible like reveal. And I want to start by saying like, I'm obsessed with the boutique, the designer, all the things. It just, we had a little bit of a mishap, which I'll share with you guys. So I, I put it on and immediately I was like, it just is sitting a little different in terms of like the bodice and like where it sat on my hips. And I don't want to give too much away and like what the dress exactly looks like. But I was like, okay, but that's understandable. I tried on a sample size. It was a lot larger. They have to clamp it in the back. It wasn't made for me. So it's already kind of sitting up a little higher than I remember. And then,

• 8:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  as we really get into it, I was like, oh my God, it's like, just does not fit. Like it's too, the bust is so big and it's up so high. It's like uncomfortable under my armpits. Like, I was like panicking and like, I wanted to be so excited, but I walked out and you could feel my anxiety. Like Anushka was like filming this. She's like, oh no, like something, something's wrong. And I'm like, it's just not what I remember. It's not the, the way it's fitting. And it's, I feel like it's not made for me. You know, I feel like it's, I can't wear this to get married in the way that it's kind of like digging into my like armpit fat, you know? And so

• 8:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was kind of like an all hands on deck situation. The manager came in and everyone's like, okay, like the designer is incredible. And I'll share all this details with you guys after the wedding. She'll fix it if something's wrong, of course, but we just want to make sure we know what the issue is. I went back the next day to take more measurements and they were wonderful, but I was like a little panicked. You know, like, was this custom made in the right way? And do we need to send it back overseas where it got made and all these things? I came from London, it's like nothing crazy. And so we went back and forth trying to figure this out. Will alterations work? And they finally were like, come back in one more time and let's zoom with the designer.

• 9:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  And so I, and like the owner was on it, the owner of the boutique. And I'd had a call with her. I mean, this was truly like an all hands. So I go in, I had to go to 8:30 in the morning because they're coming from, they're on, they're, they're from London.

• 9:52Rayna Greenberg?

  I couldn't believe you voiced to me at like 10 a.m. and you'd already lived a whole day.

• 9:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I had to go there like 8:00 in the morning. Everyone's there, like the manager, the owner, and then the designer, like this big deal wedding, like designer is on the zoom from London. And then she says to me, she's like, you know what? I've looked at all the photos. I've talked to everybody. I've seen the videos and I just feel like this dress is not sitting on you the way that it was designed to and the way that you tried it on in the store. And I'm like, that's what I've been saying. I'm like, that's what I've been saying. And so she's like, let's hold it in place. Let's get it on your body and let's reassess. You know, she's like, nobody did anything wrong, but I think they might've put it on you in not the right placement. It hiked up a little bit and we had a whole situation. So I feel like I was so tense. I'm on the zoom with these people from London.

• 10:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Are you naked?

• 10:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Um, I had, always wear underwear. Like I had on like a thong. And they did a few more measurements even prior to that. And it was just a whole thing. And so they, they put it on me and I'm like, this time's going to be different. I can feel it. And they sat it down where it's supposed to sit. And I'm like, that looks right. That looks right. That's the dress I bought, you know, or my mom bought. And they kind of put it up. But I didn't even mention, two women are there from an alterations place. Like I'm telling you, there's like, Overall, eight people total.

• 11:09Rayna Greenberg?

  And wants that dress back.

• 11:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Involved in this, yes. And I think they were like, we did this right. We made this for you. We know what the fuck we're doing. I forgot that the two women there are from like the number one bridal alterations boutique in Santa Monica. They're there too.

• 11:20Rayna Greenberg?

  We took seventeen different measurements.

• 11:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 11:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Extreme amounts of measurements.

• 11:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  They get it on me and they're being like very careful with the way they laced up the corset. I'm like, oh my God, who's gonna do this on the wedding day? Probably Jacqueline. And so I'm getting into it and as it's like being buttoned up, everyone's like, oh, we did it.

• 11:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's right. It was made for her. The alterations people like, I wouldn't change a thing. They were like, we might bring the hem up, but this is perfect. Everyone is ranting and raving. I'm crying. I was like, this is the moment I wanted to have two weeks ago. It's this whole thing. And again, like I can't stress enough, like everyone has been so wonderful and making sure this is right. But it's crazy how just like the way it sits can change the whole way that the top is and the way that it's coming up on your body.

• 12:07Rayna Greenberg?

  I couldn't believe what you were saying to me. They put the dress on wrong.

• 12:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  But it's like, I hate to even say that, but it's just like, the designer was like, I made this to not really be where it, the bodice meets the skirt. It sits lower intentionally and that's what I loved about it. I loved what it did for my body. So when it was put on me, it was just up higher and it took away from the, how she designed it. And then once they got it on me correctly, it was like the top was like what the way it's supposed to be. It's like more dramatic. It was comfortable. It fit. We're not doing anything to it. We're gonna hem it up a little bit. They may, it's obviously super long. And once I figure out the heels that I am gonna wear, then we'll do it. But like, I was like, oh, it doesn't need any work.

• 12:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, okay, this whole time.

• 12:56Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, it was a real tonal shift from the week before.

• 12:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I was freaking out.

• 13:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Of course you were.

• 13:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I knew they would make it right. I mean, you know, it's like, you get what you pay for. You spend a lot of money on a custom made dress. They're gonna make sure you love it. But I was like, now the window is closing and the amount of time we have, we gotta send the ship back to London. They have to remake a corset. I mean, what are we doing here? Everyone was so wonderful, but and you know, I'll talk about the designer more after post wedding and stuff because you guys could be like going on Instagram and probably find the dress and like, whatever. I don't want to gatekeep you guys, but you know, I'm trying to be a little cagey about it. My fiance will find it. No, he doesn't care. It's hanging in our house. Like he's not looking at like a kid looking for his Christmas presents. Like he wants to be surprised too. But yeah, they fixed it, but I couldn't believe it. I was like, granted, you can't believe I have eight in the morning. I'm on a Zoom. There is like eight people here and I'm now I'm crying.

• 13:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I missed the crying moment. I feel sad about it.

• 13:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So.

• 13:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Wait, so your fiance, I had an idea for you. This is totally separate, but the egg prank that we've been talking about.

• 13:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, what are you gonna, he's gonna listen to this.

• 13:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. Oh, he's gonna listen to this.

• 13:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think he's gonna listen to this because it's about his wedding.

• 14:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, we can say this now. I need to get it to his bachelor party.

• 14:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh my God. Wait, where is the bachelor party again? Is it in a hotel or an Airbnb?

• 14:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  A big house.

• 14:11Rayna Greenberg?

  We can, but can we?

• 14:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't get it there in time.

• 14:14Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, ah, damn it.

• 14:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  All right. We'll talk later about how we're going to get it to his bachelor party. What if I was just like, whatever it costs, FedEx it.

• 14:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Overnight it.

• 14:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Overnight it. I just don't trust a guy. They're gonna be like, what is this?

• 14:26Rayna Greenberg?

  You could send it to one of his friends.

• 14:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm saying that I don't trust, you know, I would trust, I feel like Justin would handle this and like see the humor in it if anybody would.

• 14:35Rayna Greenberg?

  You're gonna overnight it there. I think we find I set it to your own house.

• 14:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Like it's a wedding gift and he opens it.

• 14:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm sending this to Maine.

• 14:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 14:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Today.

• 14:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that we have to.

• 14:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent.

• 14:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Mail it to him.

• 14:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I feel like I'm just gonna keep coming up with like insane ways that he could find this person.

• 14:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I wish I would have thought of this earlier. All right. I'll, I gotta, I have to get it to his bachelor party.

• 15:03Rayna Greenberg?

  You don't have anything else going on. Just do it.

• 15:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Okay.

• 15:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 15:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Say less. Okay. Well, like you guys already know, we have my wedding planner today and it is so fun. We could have talked to her for hours. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for her. I want to hype her before she comes in. I don't know how people do this alone. I was talking to a friend and I was like, I can't believe people plan their weddings without a planner. And some people have like a day of, or even a week of, or a month of, but like, I can't imagine doing this without her. And Taylor, our friend, was like, when people plan their own weddings, they become wedding planners. You know, when they really have, are able to do it. And again, every wedding is different. Mine has multiple days, tons of details. You know, I think, obviously, there's weddings

• 15:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  that are way more simple. But this, I cannot imagine this without her. And I never would have done it that way. Like, that was never something I was gonna do. But she's just been so incredible to work with. Her team, I mean, her ideas and her organization and her communication has been 10 out of 10 from the start. And it's just been an honor to work with her. She's the best of the best. I know, like, I can't speak for every single person on our team, but I just know they are. I know anyone she would hire is going to have that, her level of perfection and talent. And so, obviously, we'll talk about them today, and you guys can check them out. And I think she's already gotten some inquiries and clients from me posting her on social and things like that. But I just can't recommend her and The Wedding

• 16:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Plan and Co. enough. And it's like, aside from my fiance, aside from you, it's like, she's the most important person. She's done the most. You know, like, she made this happen. And I had, we talk about it a little bit, but I knew some things that I wanted, I knew some things that I didn't. But I had this sort of vision, and she's really helped bring it to life. And so, man.

• 16:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Shout out to her.

• 16:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  She's the best.

• 16:55Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I love her so much. And we had the best time recording with her, and then we went out for drinks after. And I just, I'm so crazy about her. I just love her so much and everything she's done.

• 17:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So you guys, hope you enjoy it. Okay, I am going to tell you guys about Smart Mouth. I have been loving this. I have been using the toothpaste and the mouthwash. I wasn't even a mouthwash girlie before this, and I really have gotten into it. I mean, I am a coffee drinker. I love me some garlic, you know, and I worry about my breath. And I always wanted to be fresh. And Smart Mouth is the only mouthwash scientifically proven to give you 24 hours of fresh breath with just two rinses a day. Still gotta brush your teeth more than that. 24 hours, you guys, it's not gonna take the place of that, but I really love that. The secret is their dual solution smart zinc technology. As you pour, the two solutions activate billions of zinc ions that instantly eliminate bad breath and keep it away all day. So it's backed by science.

• 17:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's developed by the dentist who literally wrote the encyclopedia section on bad breath.

• 17:50Rayna Greenberg?

  That's crazy.

• 17:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Can you imagine that as your credit? Like, I am the encyclopedia. I wrote the encyclopedia on bad breath.

• 17:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I would crush it at parties.

• 18:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. Also, though, it's like, I'd be scared to talk to that person.

• 18:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Me too.

• 18:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  They'd be judging me. So now it is even easier. They have a new snap top bottle for effortless convenience. So we are just such big fans of this and they sent us a bunch of different products and I've really been using them all. But, I mean, the mouthwash is just second to none. I'm not gonna name any names, but I've tried mouthwash in the past. I just don't like the taste. I don't like the feel. I don't know. I'm picky about toothpaste, too. I don't like the aftertaste and, you know, some of the top brands, I'm not gonna name any names that are just like what everyone uses. I've never really been down with. And so I was using another brand that I've used pretty much my whole life and I've switched over to Smart Mouth and I'm using that now and I'm just such a big fan. So if you guys are worried at all about your dental health, your breath, just really check it out. We love it so much. Never have bad breath again.

• 18:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Find Smart Mouth at Walgreens, Walmart and Amazon, or visit smartmouth.com/gge to snag a special discount on your next Smart Mouth purchase. That is S M A R T M O U T H dot com slash G G E. Don't miss out on 24 hour fresh breath. Your mouth will thank you.

• 19:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, and Function, I choose Function because it is the only health platform that gives me data most people never get and the insights to start doing something about it. So inside Function, you get access to test over 100 plus biomarkers. So that is from hormones to toxins to markers of heart health, inflammation and stress. And for an additional fee, you can also access MRI and chest CT scans, all tracked in one secure place over time. And that is a nearly 360 degree view to better see what's happening in your body. And that is why top health leaders are all behind Function Health. So this really is a great platform to just kind of figure out what is going on in your body at all times. And, you know, as we're out in the world or in our homes, you really don't know always what's in the water you drink, the air you breathe, the fabrics you live in that you sleep in.

• 19:50Rayna Greenberg?

  And The environment can really leave a marker on your health. Ashley and I are always on planes and in hotels and I'm always just like, what's going on with me? Is it just like being alive or is something really wrong? And certain chemicals can affect the body over time, like mold exposure. But if you really want to get a handle on things like cholesterol, metabolism, thyroid dysfunction, immune responses, they have tests for all these things and a great platform that'll allow you to make better decisions. And there's tons of insights and suggestions and information for how to move forward and get healthy. So that is why we choose to use Function. We have scheduled it. Very excited to go take these tests and learn more by using our link. Function

• 20:34Rayna Greenberg?

  is a nearly 360 degree view to see what's happening in your body. And our first 1,000 listeners get a $100 credit towards their membership. Visit functionhealth.com/gge or use the code GGE100 at signup to own your health.

• 20:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, and Saks Fifth Avenue. We always like to talk about what we're shopping for in the moment. And since we have a wedding episode today, I'm shopping for something I might want to change into at the end of the night. Like, I want to wear my wedding dress, like, most of the night. And at the end of the night, the last hour, really turn up and change into like a little white dress. And so that's what I'm looking at. I'm love Saks. I mean, look at that one. Bronx and Bango.

• 21:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Actually, I'm, I know this dress very well. And I'm very obsessed with this dress.

• 21:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. And like this stout, everyone talks about stout, the brand, like this sequined fringe mini dress.

• 21:23Rayna Greenberg?

  That reminds me, we have a friend that wore something kind of similar in red at her wedding.

• 21:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 21:27Rayna Greenberg?

  I love that.

• 21:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, she changed into red for like the end of the night. And so that's what I'm looking and just so many different price points. I mean, you can get Prada, obviously at a higher price point, or you can find brands. I'm looking at this gorgeous dress right now from Favorite Daughter. It's 200 bucks, you know? So I think there's such a range and you can really find everything you guys are looking for.

• 21:45Rayna Greenberg?

  There's a couple of websites. I just feel that like, everybody is always in the same outfit all the time. And I'm just like, looking for something a little different with the same quality. So that's why I like Saks.

• 21:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. And just the range of designers and styles and price points and super, super trendy stuff. And then also really classic stuff. You can just find it all. So we just love it and we just want to hammer it to you guys like Saks, Saks, Saks. Like think of it as your go to, especially if you're shopping for any sort of special occasion. So if you guys are like us and you are looking for anything to wear, anywhere, shopping should be fun and easy. So you guys can head to Saks Fifth Avenue or saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style every day. And let's get into it with Jaclyn.

• 22:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, guys, we have somebody really, really special today. And to celebrate that, Ashley is going to do something for the first time that she has never done in seven and a half years. I'm going to let you introduce the guest.

• 22:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  I am so excited to introduce you guys to our guest today. She is the founder of The Wedding Plan and Company, which plans extraordinary weddings, top to bottom, all over the world, and has been featured in People Magazine, Brides Magazine, Today Show, The Not in the Best of Weddings Hall of Fame, and so much more. And she is also my wedding planner. Please welcome to the show Jaclyn Elise. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

• 22:59Rayna Greenberg?

  We are so happy to have you here. And Ashley, you did great.

• 23:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  How did I do? You did really good? I've never done that. I couldn't have asked for a better intro. Nailed it.

• 23:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. No, you did great. And this makes you the most important person to Ashley that's ever come on this show. I've never done that. Yeah.

• 23:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  So honored. I don't even, did I even do my fiance when he came on?

• 23:16Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I actually was thinking that this morning. I was like, I think I introduced him. Okay, so first question, on a scale of like one to Bridezilla, where is Ashley?

• 23:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my gosh, literally like a zero, like absolutely zero. No, I genuinely mean that.

• 23:33Rayna Greenberg?

  That's why we brought you here today.

• 23:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, yeah, we could talk about what kind of bride I am. I mean, I think, listen, there's a really big difference between someone who knows what they like, knows what they want, has a vision, and is smart and understands how to ask intelligent questions about wedding planning versus someone I consider Bridezillas, people who are rude, nasty, mean, demanding, demeaning, looking at all of the vendors in the service industry kind of as lesser than. Like the help. Yeah, as the help. And so Ashley would never and has never, you know, and so, yeah, Bridezilla is level zero.

• 24:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, great.

• 24:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I think I know what I want in some areas for sure, and I know what I don't. But I'm also like, I defer to the experts. And then there's other stuff that I'm like, girl, I don't know. You plan it. Like, I didn't have much. A lot of stuff is like, leave it to the experts. I think people think they know it all. Yes. I think you have done a really great job of saying, this is what's important to us. This is the experience we'd love to give to our guests. This is the experience we'd like to have. Like, even when we were looking for hair and makeup, Ashley was like, hey, so I really am not sitting with 12 people, starting at 7:00 a.m., getting hair and makeup done. So I was like, fantastic. So she knew the experience she wanted was to be small, intimate, not this

• 24:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  like, long, drawn-out day where she's exhausted by the time she walks down the aisle, right? So we're able to tailor her wants and needs. But when it comes to finding the vendors, she's like, hey, so because this is what I want, tell me who we should be using, right? So she leaves, tells us the vision, but then leaves it to us to find it so we can execute it. Like, she put together, like, vision boards, essentially, for the look. And I was like, no notes. Yeah. Look, I didn't tell her any direction. She was like, I'm thinking green because of this. I'm thinking these color flowers. I was like, looks good to me. I literally was just like, that seems fine. Did you racially profile her? You're like, a white girl named Ashley? No, actually, we're actually not to, to be perfectly honest, like, not to give too

• 25:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  much away. But I think this is like, so opposite of like, basic white girl. Like, I think this is very opposite of basic white girl. Yeah, I basically was like, okay, I think we found the venue. Really, when it comes to planner-client-bride relationship, is you really have to talk, and we have to listen. You have to share, we have to listen. We learn about your fiance, we learn about you, we learn about your cultures, we learn about your families, we learn about just your personalities, like, And then we try to bring it together. We're like listening for key words like where do you like to travel? What kinds of foods do you love? Like it's not just what colors do you like?

• 26:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 26:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's for amateur like, hey, I created a website wedding planner and has no experience is like, what colors do you like? We get to know the people and then try to figure out how can we bring their personality and their individuality to wedding planning.

• 26:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I love that. And I love hearing like the background of what makes you good at what you do. And we put it out to our audience, like what questions do you have? And they were so good and so varied. And I mean, maybe we could just hear like, what do you do? And how's that different than a coordinator?

• 26:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And I also want to jump in and say how what a joy it has been to work with Jacqueline. Thank you. You had left LA that day. We didn't live here. We met you through our friend Taylor. LA kind of just opened up post COVID and we were just out like on this boat. Drinking. Yeah, hanging out and I met you. And so I was just, I think even when I got engaged, you might've slid into my DMs. You're like, just, I'm here if you need me. Yeah. I was like, no pressure. Yeah. But if you need advice, help, not even to like hire me, but like if you even just have a question, like I'm here, so happy for you. Like I've watched the podcast forever. Like I kind of knew the journey with your fiance. You know what I mean? And because we were acquaintances before this, I thought it was, you know, it was a very genuine, you know, conversation. So, and it just worked out really nicely. And you do, you get the vision. Like you take the words out of my mouth. Sometimes you guys really listen.

• 27:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I just love that distinction of someone who doesn't really know what they're doing. And they're like, what's your favorite color? And one thing you said to me early on was you have got to tell me if you like something or don't like something. And to me, it sounds like you have been burned so many times by maybe people pleaser, don't want to push back clients who you get really far down a road and they haven't liked something the whole time.

• 27:47Rayna Greenberg?

  That's so funny. You said that because when I was redoing my house, my contractor said that to me day one and continuously. If you do not like something, you must tell me.

• 27:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can tell it comes from trauma. Yeah. I mean, it kind of does. I say like, it's just as important for me to know and for our planners and our company to.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  To know, you know, what it is that you like and what it is that you don't like. Here's the thing, wedding planners, as experienced and as talented as my whole company is, we are not mind readers, right? Like, there is no crystal ball, we don't know what you're thinking. And the whole process is incredibly creative. So I could show you the same vision board I showed Ashley, you may not like it, right? But like, she loved it. So there is no, when it comes to art and creativity, there really is no right or wrong. So it's an opinion, it's not a fact. So you can't just yes me to death as your wedding planner and then end up with something that you hate, right? So what we do is we try to encourage, like, the most important thing that you can have, I say in any relationship, your marriage, your friendships, if you're engaged, you're dating someone,

• 28:48Speaker 02

  you know, whatever it is, is communication, right? So like, what we push in our company when we're building relationships with any client is, you have to communicate. If there is even a form of communication style you don't like, tell us that. If there's something that will make your life easier, tell us that. Like, we cannot read your mind, just like any other relationship in your life. And so we push that, and I feel like that's what gives the experience that you're having, where it's like, you have the freedom to be like, girl, this is not the vibe. And I go, great, let's move on, right?

• 29:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I know. But we've also, Ashley and I have just planned so many things, and we've done hundreds of live shows. So I think it's a little more comfortable for us. I don't know that it's comfortable for everybody to give you details or explain themselves. And then you do get back into a corner of people where they're like, I don't like this. And you're like, you could have fucking said it.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  You signed off on it. Just tell me, right? And that's the funny part is, we don't make the decisions. We bring you the options, right? And ultimately, you make the decision. So if you're deciding from things that you don't like, like, you really do have to tell us.

• 29:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  So yeah, I'm glad to hear that it has made your experience.

• 29:50Rayna Greenberg?

  It's been a joy. I can't imagine, we'll get to it.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Even when you went venue shopping, and I even said to them, I was like, you're gonna show up to a venue, and you might be like, Jaclyn, we hate it. And the whole point is, is that this is, it shows you, it's a nice comparison of like, what your budget can, this is what this gets, this is what this gets, this is what this gets, right? So I, every venue I'm sending you to, Which I think was only three or four, but like they all aren't supposed to be perfect. Only one has to be.

• 30:20Rayna Greenberg?

  And also, I think just as much as knowing what you like is it's important to know what you don't like. And sometimes I learn more from that where I'm just like, the ceilings are too high.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Oh, my gosh, carpet in a ballroom. I was that, I'm not gonna say, but I was like, everything's perfect besides the fucking carpet and I'm not doing it. Can I give like, I want to do like a PSA to every hotel, every wedding venue.

• 30:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Why are we carpeting a ballroom?

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Contact wedding planners. Stop hiring interior designers who they don't know how to cater to couples. Wedding planners do. Hire us to redo your ballrooms because if I could tell you how many venues have lost millions of revenue because I show them a ballroom with carpet. And the other, here's, can I give like my first trick?

• 31:03Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm gonna guess something too.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  About ballrooms with carpets.

• 31:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  If you are doing a ballroom with a carpet, unless you have the money to fully cover it, which is very expensive.

• 31:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Lean into it. So if your carpet's green, do green linens. If your carpet's blue, do blue linens. Like, it's just, it's a tip. Cause then it's not drawing attention to it.

• 31:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  There's no contrast. It's blending. And once the tables are out and chairs are out, the design of it will feel much more cohesive and there just won't be contrast. So there's the, if you have to be stuck with.

• 31:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Lean into your dusty carpet.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Lean into your carpet.

• 31:37Rayna Greenberg?

  If you're gonna make this decision, say it with your whole chest.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Say it. That's, that's what I'm saying.

• 31:41Rayna Greenberg?

  And admit that you can't afford to cover this whole carpet.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Because who could? Yeah, it's not the best, but so many venues lose so much money just because, and we're talking brand new renos. Like, and I'm like, why? Like, have we not learned our lesson?

• 31:55Rayna Greenberg?

  It would be a hard no for me. Carpet in the airport and carpet in a ballroom. Get the fuck out.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  Get out.

• 32:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I've been in areas of airports. Tiles that are spread out at an airport and the wheels get stuck on those tiles. I'm like, what are we doing here?

• 32:08Speaker 02

  So can you give us a little background on becoming a wedding planner?

• 32:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, of course. So I worked my very first wedding at the age of 11.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  Cutie.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  My grandfather, and I'll keep this part quick, but my grandfather immigrated from Greece, left his wife and five kids in Greece, worked as a busboy at the UN in New York City, saved up money for two years, brought his whole family over, was like the original American dream and created like a multimillion dollar business where he owned restaurants and a wedding venue. And I was the coat check girl at the restaurant and wedding venue. So every Friday, Saturday and Sunday, when we had weddings, I would go in the coat check closet, I would hang all the coats and then, once all the coats are hung, I'd lock the door and then I would chase the couple around, making sure her veil or her train isn't dragging on the floor, making sure, I'm aging myself here because this is before digital photography, but if there was, like, let's say you're doing a picture

• 33:04Speaker 02

  outside and there's like a parking cone, like, in the distance, that's gonna be in your wedding picture forever, right? So like, I was like, making sure there was nothing like in the background of your photos, or making sure her curls were right, or like, whatever it was. So I really learned the events industry, hospitality, literally from the age of 11 on and did that, worked Fridays, like while other people were at sleepovers, I was like, guys, I have to go to work. And by the way, can I tell you, like, to this day, being a coat check girl, the best job of my life. So there were 250 people in the wedding venue, 250 people at dinner. If everyone gave me a dollar, I was making 500 bucks a night. No, you crush it. No, I was. I didn't want to do that math.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  I was like 11 years old, sitting in my room with like, single, you would've thought I was like a stripper. Like, I had singles laid across my room, counting them in like increments of 10. I would have like a thousand dollars for like the weekend. And I bought, when I was 15, I was like, I'm gonna buy my first Louis Vuitton. And I walked in and I had nothing but singles. And I said to the guy, I was like, I'm so embarrassed, but I really want that wallet. And it was a $525 wallet. To this day, I use that wallet every day. I'm 40 years old, I bought it when I was 15 with my coat check girl and wedding coordinator money. And they were probably like, we're gonna call the cops. No, I know, actually, do you know what he said to me? Cause I'll never forget it. I go, I'm really like so embarrassed, but I only have 525 in singles. And he looks

• 34:32Speaker 02

  at me, he goes, money is money, honey. You know, he was like, I get commission. I don't care how I make it.

• 34:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you work on commission?

• 34:40Speaker 02

  Big mistake. Yeah, big mistake, big mistake. No, he leaned in. He was like, here's a 14 year old, 15 year old girl with cash and like, let's go for it. So anyway.

• 34:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Can I just tell you, I can't even imagine how this formed you as a person to deal with people from the age of 11 on the most important day of their life. Cannot do it again. There are no redos. Like the baptism by fire of dealing with that shit when you are a kid. I mean, I don't have a touch point for it. I started waiting tables when I was 22 in New York City in the Upper East Side. Those people were hard as fuck to deal with. But that is nothing like the day, the most important day of your life.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  I mean, I wasn't officially like, they didn't like, they didn't like sell me as the coordinator. I just was the coat check girl, you know, locking the door and then. But I knew instinctually.

• 35:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  What needed to get done, what needed to be fixed. I looked, I used my senses. You know, you use your eyes, your nose, your ears and you figure out like, what needs to get done? How quickly does it need to get done? And there are people in this world, you know, who just jump into action. And I feel like that's what makes like a really good wedding planner, specifically on the day of, but like, it was just something that came so natural. And there really is no wedding planning, you know, college. Like you can go to school for hospitality, but.

• 35:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Events.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  You know, there's a couple of scammy things where like you can get a certificate to be, that's like, if I just said, pay me a thousand dollars and I'll send you like a printout. You know what I mean?

• 35:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Event planning, I think there's probably less so on the job.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  You can be certified, but it's not accredited. So like essentially I could start my own certification program tomorrow. And it's like, it's not accredited by anything. Yeah. So anyway, that's how I got my experience was literally, and then I, and then I did, and I was a waitress and I was a bartender and I was a hostess. And then I did corporate event planning and then I thought I, I can't die in a cubicle. I was like, I cannot die in a cubicle. And I was 25 years old and I started the business and my first client to this day, never knew she was my first client. That was 15 years ago. And I actually just, we just did her little brother's wedding too. So 15 years later, they came back.

• 36:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love that. So you said commission and it just made me think something I want to touch on and we have so many questions to get to today. But I think one thing that does.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  Make you, I don't know if it's different, you tell us.

• 36:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  What's nor, what's the norm is how some wedding planners charge for their services. And how that kind of affects the way they might plan your wedding.

• 36:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, because people are like, what does a wedding planner do? And how does that, you know?

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, you know, there's different kinds of wedding planning. So I'll give you an example. So, most wedding planners don't do everything I'm about to talk about. My company does. I started my company kind of with the mission to employ as many females as possible, create wealthy, independent women. I grew up just watching women be controlled by money. And I was like, that's never going to be me. And it's never going to be anybody who wants to be part of my company. Like, we are going to create a universe where, you know, we have opportunities, right? My company, I do have, we have from consulting, which is like, hey, you just want to talk to us once a month? And like, ask us questions.

• 37:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  And like, you're doing the emails, you're doing the, you're doing like, the time consuming stuff, but you can pick our brain for a fee, right?

• 37:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Wow.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  And it can be consistent, like, you can do it once a month for 24 months. You can do it once a month for 12 months. You can do it once a month for four months. It doesn't matter, right? So, we do consulting, we do, you plan your entire wedding, but you want us to come in 30 days before your wedding, tie all of it together? And be a wedding, a true wedding coordinator. Meaning, we didn't plan, we didn't book your vendors, we didn't create the plan. But we are going to help you execute it. We're going to organize it. We're going to make sure you're not missing key things. We're going to go through checklists, make sure like, you haven't made any major mistakes.

• 38:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Right? And then we're there the weekend for the rehearsal, for the wedding, and we're the ones like, making sure things are just aligning.

• 38:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Then we do all a cart wedding planning. So, some people come to us and they go, hey, so I need help with these six things, but I don't need help with these 12 other things. And we're like, okay, great. So, hire us for those six things. Like, fantastic, right? And then we also do full-service wedding planning, which is you come to us with a budget and a dream. And we, you know, go from there. And we take you from brainstorming to fruition, right? So, a lot of wedding planners, I would say there are some companies that do kind of the full range. I think. That makes us different. A lot of people tend to find a niche, like a lot of planners will only do full service. A lot of planners will only do coordination.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  But going back to commission, what you said, so one of the things that, you know, I, I really built my business is treat your clients the way you would want to be treated as a client. Right? Like, pretty basic customer service.

• 39:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  But it is something I believe in with my whole heart and full chest and like, there is a little bit of like this underground. Okay, so I'm going to tell Ashley to book this photographer because that photographer is going to increase their fee by 10%. So that they're giving me a commission, a kickback. We absolutely have never done that, have, will never do that. We're very transparent with that. And I will say, there are going to be wedding planners who maybe listen to this and say, well, I charge commissions, but I'm upfront. If you're upfront about it, and this is part of like, your pitch to your client and your client fully knows what's happening, more power to you.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  What I have seen is the, kind of the underground, you're doing it on the sly, you're having people put like, an added fee, a hidden fee in there that like, your client doesn't know what it is. So you're, they're paying you for your service, but then they're also paying more for the vendor. And I just think that's stealing, quite frankly, and I would, if that happened to me as a client in any industry, I'd be livid.

• 40:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  So, yeah.

• 40:20Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that the dream is that you work with a coordinator or a planner because they have relationships with these people. And the relationship would allow you to get a discount, not the opposite. That's why you hire somebody to design.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  Well, that's why, that's exactly what we do.

• 40:33Rayna Greenberg?

  That's why we do interior designers.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  No, that's exactly what we do. So I basically say, hey, these 20 photographers, they are trustworthy, they are reliable, they are talented, they're amazing, they're kind people. They give great customer service, their work is incredible. And by the way, you're going to get a 10% discount because we bring them so much business. So all of the relationships that myself and my 15 planners have created are all organic. And the vendors are like, we'd be happy to give them a discount because you've brought us 12 weddings this year, right? Like, we don't need to. To do the undercutting, like it's just not something, and my business is not built off that. I don't need to pay my bills off of stealing from people.

• 41:10Rayna Greenberg?

  It's just good business.

• 41:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I guess to my point, just to confirm, like you're, if a full service wedding, a client is paying you the same amount if their wedding is 50 or 100 or 200 grand, right?

• 41:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, so we're flat fee.

• 41:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's flat, exactly. That's my, kind of my point, because I think people think like, the more expensive my wedding, the more that I have to pay a planner.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Right. Well, I will say our fees range, not based on your budget, based on what you want us to plan.

• 41:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's why.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Right, so your budget could be, could be 200,000 for your wedding, but if, I'm only planning one day.

• 41:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Then that fee's gonna be for a day.

• 41:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  It's gonna be based on the service, right? Where if you have 200,000 for three days, it might be more expensive because we're planning three days worth of events and not one day, right? So it just depends, but yeah.

• 41:53Rayna Greenberg?

  So I'm like foaming at the mouth about budget. And that's the thing that came up the most. And so many questions about like, where should I put my money? What has the largest impact, the smallest impact, but like, just flat out, like, what does a wedding cost? How do I make a budget?

• 42:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  How much is Ashley's wedding?

• 42:11Speaker 02

  It's Ashley's wedding!

• 42:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm dead. I'm dead. You asked me straight up.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 42:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  What's ideal and what's your top, top? Don't go above it.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 42:22Rayna Greenberg?

  So somebody says to you like, hi, I want to plan a wedding.

• 42:24Speaker 02

  How much is a wedding? Okay, so I, I mean genuinely, I get this question every single day of my life. And so do my planners. It's like, what does a wedding cost? Well, you know.

• 42:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  How much you got?

• 42:34Speaker 02

  No, I mean, I wish, right? I mean, that'd be a fun answer. How much do you have? Well, we do kind of ask that in a nicer way.

• 42:40Rayna Greenberg?

  When I asked my, my architect of my house, I said, can we do this? And he said, you got money? We could do it.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Well, here's the thing, absolutely anything is possible.

• 42:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can have whatever you want.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  You can have whatever you want. Everything has a price tag.

• 42:50Rayna Greenberg?

  That's what he said.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  But I will say this, when people just say, when people just say like point blank.

• 42:55Rayna Greenberg?

  You got money?

• 42:56Speaker 02

  You got money? When people ask point blank, how much does a wedding cost? They want a black and white answer, but it's such a nuanced question, right? Which is how much does a white t-shirt cost? Well, if you go to Walmart, a t-shirt's $6. If you go to Old Navy, it's $14. If you go to Nordstrom, it's $75. If you buy a Prada t-shirt, it's $400, right? They're all white t-shirts, so you can't really ask someone, how much is anything? Because it's so nuanced. So, one of the things that we love sharing, and there are so many theories about budgets, and I truly stand behind, there's two correct ways to create a budget. The first one is you hire a planner and you say, this is how much I can spend.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  This is how much I have. And then we tell you, like, this is how many people you can invite. This is the location that you can get married in. This is, these are the options based on that number you gave us. Here, this is what it's going to cost if you get married in Pennsylvania. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in New Jersey. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in Aspen. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in Los Angeles, Dallas, Florida, whatever it is. Italy, we planned four weddings in Italy last year. Like, this is how much that budget, this is how far it's going to take you wherever, right? The second way is, I want 250 people on a Saturday in Manhattan during peak season.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  And I'm going to say, great, do you have a minimum, right, of 250,000 dollars?

• 44:27Rayna Greenberg?

  I felt sick when you were saying that.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  I knew it was going to be 250,000.

• 44:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I tried to plan a wedding in New York. Like, and also, that's another thing. Do you want a wedding in Italy? Okay, do you have the money to entertain people for three to four days? Who are traveling across the world? Do you want to write an itinerary, plan a Thursday event and Sunday event? Can you afford that?

• 44:44Speaker 02

  Right. And listen, we've, I've planned, what, 200-person weddings for 20,000 dollars.

• 44:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Whoa.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  I mean, granted, this was 12 years ago.

• 44:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Was it at a park?

• 44:54Speaker 02

  It was at a fire station.

• 44:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Of course it was.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  We love a fire station. It was a fire, no joke, it was a fire station. The firefighters literally built this gorgeous, they have beautiful cherrywood floor, not even carpet. If you can imagine.

• 45:05Rayna Greenberg?

  The floors.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  The floors.

• 45:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  They had beautiful hardwood floors. They built this gorgeous, like, cocktail, I mean gorgeous.

• 45:12Rayna Greenberg?

  At a firehouse.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  At a firehouse, right? Like, to be fair. But a beautiful cherrywood bar for cocktail hour. They created a rose garden for the ceremony space. And the couple came to me, and it's really about priorities. So they said, we have 200 people on our guest list and 20,000 dollars. I said, great, you can't be picky and you have to get married where I say you have to get married. And they were like.

• 45:32Rayna Greenberg?

  That's so funny.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  So here's what you're going to do. Right. But they were like, reducing the guest count is not an option.

• 45:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  And I was like, great, then you have to trust me and listen to me because you're not doing it at the. Plaza Hotel, like, we're doing it at a fire station in New Jersey.

• 45:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Wait, can I tell you, my ex, his, his father was the director of events at the Plaza Hotel. I was like, can we do it here? And he was like, can you start at a million?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  And I was like, no. We've done two weddings at the Plaza. They were lovely and amazing and fabulous. But so, but to my point is, we've planned weddings at the Plaza Hotel. We've planned weddings at castles in Italy. We've planned 10-person weddings in people's dining rooms and we've planned 500-person weddings. Like, when it goes back to how much does a wedding cost? It's like, well, I can show you a $20,000 wedding for 200 people. I could also show you a $1.5 million wedding. Like, and, and, and it's everywhere in between, right?

• 46:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I understand the question. The question is like, how do I make a budget?

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, that's different. I can give everyone like a hard answer to at least their biggest question.

• 46:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  But like, again, I don't want to back you in a corner, but let's just say, we're doing, uh, we're doing a 150-person wedding. Just, you know, let's, asking for a friend.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Hypothetically.

• 46:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and it's gonna be in a, maybe not New York, but a major city-ish. And you want it to be fancy and classy and you want to have your two days. And let's just say roughly for good food, open bar, premium, good DJ, all the things, like, what are we?

• 47:00Rayna Greenberg?

  This all feels pretty standard.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, so we're talking about like, not low budget, not high budget, somewhere in the upper middle.

• 47:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  And like a nice hotel, whatever.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  I would say you'd want to, I mean, here's just like a really nice standard, because I don't want to give just gray answers. I, if we were talking to a client and they gave us those specs, I would say we'd want to allot, now, don't confuse this with price per head for food.

• 47:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  Price per head for the overall event. You want to allot about $1,000 a person. So if you have

• 47:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  100 people, $100,000.

• 47:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  You have 200 people, $200,000. Now, that's, again, now, this still goes back. Are there venues where we could drop it by 50,000? Sure. But we want to make sure we're working in the realm of reality, right? We're not magicians. So if you ask me for a French chateau vibe in, you know, the middle of somewhere that I've

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Never heard of and you have 200 people on your guest list and $70,000 like. And when I say this, by the way, I, I really do like to say like $70,000 is a lot of money. Like, you know what I mean? Like, we don't look at your money and say, that's not a lot, or that's like, it's $20,000 is a lot. If someone walked into my house and said, hey, to redo this bathroom, I need $20,000, I would say, wow, $20,000 is a lot of money, right? So we are not in any way, shape or form, putting anybody down for not having a certain amount. But there's realistic things of what things cost and not. So it has no bearing on us whether you have 20,000, whether you have 75,000, or whether you have 500,000, but it does make a difference in what you get.

• 48:38Rayna Greenberg?

  I think you just want to set expectations and the things that they're gonna have to cut is going to upset people. So like, I've been to weddings that I've traveled for and the cocktail hour had no food. And I'm standing there and I'm standing there and I've like been through an hour long ceremony and we're gonna be standing in this lot, marble lobby with no food and not a lot of alcohol and clearly they, they forego those things. And you're like, but this created a bad experience for everybody.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Let me just ask you this, because it's something we would tell our clients. Wouldn't you rather, instead of having 200 people, so one of my biggest things is staffing. Have you ever been to a wedding where there's 200 and there's one bartender? No, I'm sorry, biggest party foul, big, and that's honestly how you know someone who planned the wedding is an amateur.

• 49:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yep.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Because you need to staff appropriately, you need to think about your guest's. Yes, it's your wedding and we're gonna make the vibe and experience around you, but you are hosting people. And you need to think about their experience. When are they eating? When are they drinking? How far are they walking? Like, what's, what, what's their entire experience from start to finish? And if you're not being thoughtful about that, you're not throwing a good wedding.

• 49:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, and we've done, we've done live shows where we've had to ask venues to please staff up more bartenders. Because we know our whole audience will get drinks. You should think about it.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  And it's about what matters. And I'm sure some people like clutch their chest at hearing a thousand a person. And of course, we need to reiterate that meant rehearsal dinner, that's like.

• 49:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, that's like, you're talking like, yeah, but it's just like, you can decide what matters. You know, I always thought I'd be like. I'm not really gonna care that much about the decor and the flowers and spoiler alert, I do.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Right, but you know what you didn't?

• 50:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I want it to be beautiful.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  Am I allowed to share like one thing?

• 50:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  That you didn't particularly care about?

• 50:14Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  When we were going over invitations and I was like, so we should be budgeting like a certain like X amount for your guest count. And she was like, absolutely not. And I was like.

• 50:22Rayna Greenberg?

  We haven't even done them yet.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  No, but when we were talking about it, we were, we were just having a conversation. She was like, no, no, no, like, we're not, we're not gonna do that. And I was like, okay, so like, yeah, we'll just, no, we're not, so we're not gonna get, okay, great. We're not gonna do that, right?

• 50:36Rayna Greenberg?

  We sort of have them, whatever.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  We sort of kind of have them, but my point is, it wasn't a priority for her. So let's not, let's not spend money there. Let's reallocate it somewhere else. Like, that's fine. Like, even as planners, we don't force our clients to do things a certain way. We're like, if you don't wanna spend $5,000 on invitations, or $3,000, or $6,000, or whatever it is. And by the way, even invitations, I mean, the range is out of control. Just, do you want letterpress? Do you want foil? Do you want, I mean, people have no clue. But, and it's not, again, that there's a good, a bad, or right, and a wrong. There's just a million options.

• 51:09Rayna Greenberg?

  So let me ask you, if somebody's like, alright, well, fine, I have 70 grand to spend. Where, how can I make my money go the furthest? So like, what is important to deprioritize? How do I make my money and take, make the biggest impact? So, and that's probably loaded.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I personally think the biggest impact is, again, thinking about the guest experience. So I would rather, personally, and this is the advice we give our clients, I'd rather give 100 people the best experience than 200 people a mediocre to bad experience.

• 51:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, less guests. I never thought about that.

• 51:41Speaker 02

  Well, first of all, do you wanna know what people say? How do I save money? Do I use candles instead of flowers? No. Do I send emails instead of invitations? No, you're not moving the needle enough. The only way you save significant amount of money is fewer guests. Think about it. If you have 100 person guest list versus a 200 person guest list, that's literally 100 more plates of food, 100 more people drinking, 100 more chairs, that's 10 more tables of linens. It's literally double everything, right? So if you're trying, if you're saying, I'm doubling my budget, cut your. Guest list in half. So I think people's biggest mistake is making a guest list before they make their budget.

• 52:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, I never thought about that. I love that answer.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Make your budget first. And by the way, people do come to us and say, we don't have a budget because we don't know what things cost. And I go, nope, nope, nope. We're gonna work backwards. Here's what we're gonna do. Alright, let's play a little game. Ashley, would you spend $500,000 on a wedding?

• 52:35Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Okay, would you spend 300?

• 52:38Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Okay, would you say, no, you don't have to give the real number, by the way. But my point is, but my point is, we can play this game all day long. We did this game. We literally played this game. So I was like, would you spend 200? I won't give the answer. Do you 100? You won't. But like, my point is, is like, you just keep going until they say, this is what I spent. Great, that's our budget.

• 52:57Rayna Greenberg?

  But I also understand, just from like a plan, a planning perspective of being like, okay, well, I want to be realistic about what flowers cost. I want to be realistic about a cocktail hour costs. And you go from the other angle and you say, you tell me what you can afford. I will go figure out what you can afford.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, because we also can, like, I, I've made some of the most gorgeous tablescapes from stuff from like Ikea, by the way. Do you know what I mean? That you would never, if I showed you a picture, you'd be like, oh my gosh, this must have been so much money. It'd be like, no, I'm creative, right?

• 53:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  Like, I'm creative, our team is creative, and like, we can figure things out. But what you don't want to do is send your planner or any of your vendors on wild goose chases. Don't just say, how much is everything? Right? And you're like, well, that's not, it's not a good use of our time. And quite frankly, we'll have to charge, wind up charging you more. Because like, we're doing the, you're asking us to then do the work 10 times.

• 53:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  Right? Like, we want to make sure that we are laser focused in what you can afford. It's one of the things I don't like. It's a going wedding dress shopping. You're like, my budget's $4,000 for a dress. They put you in a $10,000 dress.

• 53:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Like, that's not how we work.

• 53:57Rayna Greenberg?

  A hundred percent.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  And so I would never, if someone said to me, this is how much money I have, I would never send them to a venue that isn't in that price range. So I can give one budget tip I think everyone's gonna like.

• 54:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, you've given plenty.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  Okay, perfect. Now I'm like, the guest list thing. The guest list thing is, you either, if, and by the way, if your budget isn't working, you need one of two things. A bigger budget or less guests. Okay, so the number one thing I say to people because they do not know, okay, so have you ever had a friend, maybe you, I know plenty of people who've done it. It's called buying a house, then your house poor, right? Because you spent every single dime on the deposit, on escrow, on like closing on the house and everything. And then you have absolutely no money to furnish your house, right? So the biggest mistake that people make, we see it all the time, is they spend too much of their money on the venue.

• 54:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, so like what is, what, so what do people overspend on?

• 54:47Speaker 02

  So take your, now figure out a number. What number will not keep you guys up at night? What number will make sure your mortgage is paid, your rent is paid? Like, figure out a number that you are comfortable spending on your wedding, okay? That's, remember, do that before you make the guest count. Then you want to figure out, you take 40% of that total budget. 50 is max, so anywhere between 40 and 50, but don't go over 50% because then you'll wind up being venue poor. Anywhere between 40 to 50% is what you allocate towards your venue, food, and beverage. It's your biggest chunk, like, no other, no other vendor should take up that much of the budget.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  But in that 40%, you need to be reminding yourself that when they say it's X amount per person for food, drink. There's also going to be taxes, there's going to be state tax, there's going to be admin fee, there's going to be gratuity. And at the very max, including all of those fees, it should equal no more than 50% of your total budget.

• 55:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Because I think some people are listening to, I love that, and I was going to ask you, like, what do people overspend on? There's so many other vendors, I mean, flowers, the dress, the drivers, music, photo and video. I mean, there's so much other stuff you spend money on.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  Oh, especially music. So let me tell you something about music. People who are like, listening to this right now, if you want a band, start saving now. Bands are, I mean, and good bands?

• 56:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  And good bands?

• 56:16Speaker 02

  First of all, I mean, I'm gonna say something that's like highly controversial and may get me in trouble.

• 56:21Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I need to know DJ versus band.

• 56:22Speaker 02

  No, me?

• 56:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Hello?

• 56:24Speaker 02

  DJ?

• 56:25Rayna Greenberg?

  We are a DJ family.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  I'm a DJ gal, I'm not a band gal.

• 56:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I always say, I want to hear Beyonce saying Beyonce songs.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  Do you want to know why?

• 56:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Right, that's what I want to hear.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, but like, listen, I say this into the, if the five vendors that I work with, that we work with are listening to this, we love you, you know who you are, the majority of bands, the members are divas, they're demanding, they're not professional, they're not as good as they think they are, like, if you could see our company group chat on a random Saturday, like, talking shit about the bands, like, and how we're just like, they are the bane of our existence, like, now, again, to the people that we work with, and you know who you are, we love you, and you're amazing, we're not talking to you right now, we're not talking to you right now, but, the good ones are expensive.

• 57:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 57:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I think there's this wide spectrum, and the ones that are at the top, top, which, like, the band that Lee had for her wedding at the Barnes Foundation in Philly, I mean, the wedding was pricey, was the best band, they were actually the best band, I would love to know what they cost, and then there's just, like, it's like this top tier, and then everything else.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  And then there are people who are good at marketing, and they do lots of Instagram ads, and they have good salespeople, and then they sell people, and like, that's it.

• 57:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, the venue, I want to go, go back to, and we can touch a little bit on how I even chose mine, because I have like, one tip, I feel like, of deciding what type of bride you are, but, I think, wouldn't you say that's a big money issue saving thing, like, aside from the guests, is like, the venue, like, don't have your heart set on this certain type of botanical garden or hotel.

• 57:55Rayna Greenberg?

  That's where I was gonna get married, a botanical garden. So, I had all of these ideas of like, what I wanted to do, and I want to, and we do want to ask about the venue in terms of like, a raw space, you just get your heart set on, like, just, I mean, there's like warehouses in Brooklyn I thought would have been really fun to have a wedding at, versus a hotel, versus a turnkey wedding venue, they just churn them out all week, so, I wanted to do it, I did book the botanical gardens in Pittsburgh, but, they were turnkey, I mean, they hosted weddings every weekend.

• 58:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, every weekend. So anyways.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  So we get a lot of these questions a lot when we're on like a consultation with a couple. They're like, okay, if we start looking for a venue, like how quickly can we, you know, lock it in? I'm like, well, I mean, that's really up to you, right? Like we, we start working with our couples within like 72 hours of you like signing a contract and booking. And then within a week, we have like our first round of things within two weeks. Like we're, we're quick, right? But if you're depending on how flexible the client is.

• 58:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  So if someone comes to us and says, I have a checklist of 10 things and I will not get married unless every one of these 10 things are checked off. There might be like one venue that like has all 10 things. Like I can't build a wedding venue from scratch because you want these 10 things. Now, we might find venues that have eight things or six things or, do you know what I mean? So it really depends on your level of flexibility. It depends on like where you're willing to. We can gather the information. You can tell us what you want. We can gather the information, show you the pricing, the options. This is how many things it checks off your list, but you need to be realistic. And that's, I think, a lot of what we try to get across with couples.

• 59:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  And timing too. We'll answer it quickly and move on, but how much in advance do I need to plan my wedding? You told me I can plan your wedding in 30 days.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  I could, I've literally have.

• 59:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  But it just depends on the venues of the now. Some people want these venues, what? They have two, three year waiting lists. So we started talking, I don't even remember. It was this year.

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was this year.

• 59:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So I

• 59:49Speaker 02

  It actually goes like right after Christmas or New Year's or something like that.

• 59:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  You had a call with her. We were still long distance. So I think it was. It was right before the LA fires. It was right after New Year's.

• 59:59Speaker 02

  I think it was right.

• 59:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  The fires.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  I think it was on my like to do list first of the year. So, and I'm getting married on November 1st, but I got engaged on, on Labor Day weekend. And so it wasn't immediate. I took some time and I had a lot on my plate and we did our, all the, our things we did last fall and winter. And so everybody's story is so different, but I think that question is completely unanswerable. Do you want every option in the world? Uh, I don't know. Two years, one year.

• 1:00:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  But want something that's really hard to get.

• 1:00:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can do a wedding in six months, three months.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:00:26Rayna Greenberg?

  So these like, what if, I've been to weddings in the woods where people build everything. They built like, what if somebody says, I want a raw space versus like a turnkey wedding venue?

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  What are your feelings?

• 1:00:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Your parents farm?

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, and we've, and we've done that, right? Like, we have, we literally, literally did a wedding on a farm that had no running water, no electricity, no bathrooms, literally nothing. Had you build it from the ground up. And, yeah, people, here's the thing, it's expensive. Anytime you start, okay?

• 1:00:55Rayna Greenberg?

  That's the answer. You got money?

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, you got money. Yeah, I mean, I mean, we had to bring in generators for the DJ and then a backup generator. Because in case the first generator goes, we had to bring in generators. I mean, the caterers were working off of, you know, generator, I mean, everyone's working off generators. We spent, we had to charge them a ton of money because we had staff literally filling glass water bottles for like days at a time. So there was enough water for 250 guests. Like, you know what I mean? There, so there's a lot that goes into it. But let's just say like backyard tented wedding. Tents are thousands of dollars. And by the way, we're going to talk about, this is why the budget question is so hard. I could pitch you a $4 folding chair. But if you don't want a folding chair, then you have to spend 15, 20, 40, 50 dollars on a chair.

• 1:01:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you want metal? Do you want wood? Do you want covers?

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  Exactly. Do you want covers? Do you not want covers? Do you want cushions? Do you not want cushions? Do you want, like, do you want arms? Do you not want arms? Do you want, like, by the way, like, we will not let you, if you're doing a ceremony in one area and a reception other, like, we are not moving chairs. So if you have 200 guests, do you want to know how many chairs you're renting? 400. Because you need 200 for the ceremony and 200 for the reception. Because who's lugging 200 chairs from the garden to the tent?

• 1:02:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, do you, or, or, let's, let's get extra staff to do that.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  Or, yeah, or you can spend X, but by the time you do that, you may as well rent the chairs. Do you know what, so like, people have these like ideas of, well, I'll just get people to do it. And you're like, okay, but also you have to walk through the cocktail hour to get the chairs from the garden to the tent.

• 1:02:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  We are doing my same chairs. We're flipping them.

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  You're doing the same chairs.

• 1:02:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Because we're doing the same room.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  You're doing the same room.

• 1:02:32Rayna Greenberg?

  You're also at a hotel.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, okay. We're doing the same room. I just was like, wait, Jacqueline. No, she had a mini. Because it's not that that wasn't about you, I promise. You're using the same chairs and they're

• 1:02:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Because we're in the same room.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  By the way, and they're fabulous.

• 1:02:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  They're part of the vibe. I also, I also get on my high horse. If you want to know the design choice that makes the biggest impact.

• 1:02:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  It's chairs. Let me scream it into the microphone. You will have 200 chairs in every ceremony picture and 200 chairs in every reception picture. Your chairs are everywhere.

• 1:02:57Rayna Greenberg?

  There's more chairs than people.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Someone posted a wedding this weekend and it's not from a planner. It's a personal connection. So it's not no vendor. I'm not throwing a vendor under the bus. Absolutely gorgeous wedding, gorgeous background, gorgeous florals. The most heinous chairs. And I literally was like, all I'm staring at is the chairs.

• 1:03:15Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  All I'm staring at is the chairs and who, who needs to get fired?

• 1:03:18Rayna Greenberg?

  But what do they look like?

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  They don't, they were old school like wood, but then they had like red leather seats. But every

• 1:03:25Rayna Greenberg?

  These are Chili's?

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  It literally looked like, you know, it looked like the like Italian. You know, you go to like the restaurants with like the checkered tablecloth.

• 1:03:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, like a red sauce place.

• 1:03:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you have like, and I was like,

• 1:03:35Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm horrified.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  I was like, oh my God. I, I mean, I was just like, no, like, and by the way, I know the people. And I was like, no, this isn't acceptable. Like

• 1:03:45Rayna Greenberg?

  They're in all the photos so prominent. You wasted a whole Instagram post about chairs.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  You literally wrote, you were like, I never knew I needed chairs so badly. But like, once you saw that post, you were like, oh my God.

• 1:03:58Rayna Greenberg?

  They really matter.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  They really matter. Cause then by the way, if you look at 10 weddings where even the decor was different, it wouldn't look so different if they all had the same chairs.

• 1:04:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Mm hmm. Totally.

• 1:04:07Speaker 02

  It's really interesting and I will get on my high horse about chairs at every like every turn.

• 1:04:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Every turn.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  Every turn.

• 1:04:14Rayna Greenberg?

  Um, anything else in terms of budget that you think people don't even think about? And you're like, oh, honey.

• 1:04:20Speaker 02

  Well, and people ask, do vendors charge more because it's a wedding? Like, let's talk about the wedding tax. Okay. So my answer to that is no. You pay more if you're hiring a professional. You pay less if you're hiring an amateur.

• 1:04:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:04:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Long story short, a professional does this full-time.

• 1:04:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Here are the prices.

• 1:04:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, here are the prices. If that vendor is out of your budget, they're not wrong for charging what's out of your budget. They're just not your vendor. And by the way, I'm the first person to say there is a special place in hell for shitty wedding vendors, and we work with them all the time, unfortunately. Not if we're planning the wedding, but if we're doing like a coordination and like we're kind of stuck working with them because the client found them without us. We literally are like, I have to stick up for my vendors here and go, no, people charge based on their experience, based on their professionalism, based on the product they're giving you, the quality that they're delivering. Nobody's, and if they're professional, that all they do is this. So like, they're not going wedding, more like a wedding photographer is not paying their bills, shooting like someone's like first birthday party. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:05:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Right, absolutely. And you get what you pay for. A photographer that is featured in Vogue is going to charge you more money. That's just...

• 1:05:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thousand percent.

• 1:05:29Rayna Greenberg?

  They have, they have ascended to a certain level and it is what it is. And it doesn't mean you can't find amazing amateur photographers. And we've seen the gamut of everybody, but we generally get what we pay for.

• 1:05:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think one thing I realized, and I think this is like a reflection on yourself, if you're the bride, is like, just think about your personality and what you want. Like, I realized I'm an indoor bride and I want to get married indoors. And I don't want to have to worry about the weather or the wind. I mean, we have been to weddings where you cannot hear the vows because it's so windy.

• 1:05:57Rayna Greenberg?

  A lot of them.

• 1:05:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  And the hair is blowing and it can get windy here. And it's, it's less about like, it's pouring rain and we have a backup plan and I can live with both, which I think is fine too. If you're chill enough for that, live your truth. But I think I thought I might get married, just not the reception. I'm an indoor, loud music, party vibe. I knew I wanted that. But for the ceremony, I was like, maybe I want to be outside, palm trees, that's the vibe. And I was like, I am not, I'm indoors. I want to look the exact same way from when I come down from the bridal suite to when I'm saying my vows. And it was this thing of like, the two, we were torn between, that was like one of the things that made the final decision.

• 1:06:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Absolutely.

• 1:06:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Of just like, I'm an indoor girl.

• 1:06:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, you know what I'm thinking? Every wedding that I've gone to, people that got married outdoors, and I'm like, I have five off the top of my head. Two of them, it was raining. Two of them, it was so windy that you couldn't even.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  Even if it's sunny and hot, you're like.

• 1:06:49Rayna Greenberg?

  And the other one, it was a million degrees.

• 1:06:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Staring staring into the sun.

• 1:06:53Rayna Greenberg?

  I've never been to an outdoor wedding that I was like, this was a great idea. The bride, the groom is dripping in sweat. You're all wet. I went to one that it monsooned the whole day, so we had to walk through a swamp to get to the thing in stiletto heels.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  And it can be gorgeous. And I mean, yeah, I met my brother. I mean, you are literally preaching to.

• 1:07:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Your brother is the only one I've ever been to.

• 1:07:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  My brother.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  Lucked out?

• 1:07:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 1:07:16Rayna Greenberg?

  He's the only one.

• 1:07:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  They had amazing weather.

• 1:07:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, it was April.

• 1:07:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  In April.

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:07:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I was, I was sweating in my outfit, but that was, that's irrelevant, what I chose to wear. But it's just like.

• 1:07:26Rayna Greenberg?

  We did, all black.

• 1:07:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I knew, but I knew what I was doing, but.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Right, that was her fault. She takes accountability.

• 1:07:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's just, I'm not, I'm not knocking it. Go ahead and do it.

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  Oh, it's the dream. It just doesn't work out. Problem. The problem is, is if you're a chill bride and you're like, so, okay, so of course, whenever we're planning a wedding that has an outdoor anything, there always has to be.

• 1:07:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  A backup plan.

• 1:07:45Speaker 02

  Backup plan. And you know, here's the thing, couples like to yes us to death. Yes, oh yeah, we'll do it inside if we have to. We'll do it inside if we have to. Come wedding day, their heads are spinning.

• 1:07:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Crashing out.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  They are full blown crashing out. I literally have looked at someone in the face and said, what are you gonna do if it starts downpouring? They go, they'll get wet. And I literally was like, that's so rude. Like, like, that's so, how do you have, how do you have 150 guests sitting outside and you don't care if it starts downpour raining on them? Like, that's. Anyway, but you know what? It's not my wedding.

• 1:08:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Yep.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  You wanna, you know what? You wanna walk down the aisle and have people do that? Let's go. Start cue the music. Let's go. So that's like a planner. We give you advice. We give you suggestions. We even have backup plans. We can't make you listen.

• 1:08:30Rayna Greenberg?

  That's so true.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  Now, if you're a good client. And the only reason you should hire a wedding planner is if you plan on listening to them.

• 1:08:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Sure.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  If you plan on knowing it all, do all planners in the world a favor and like just do it yourself then.

• 1:08:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, hire an assistant. Okay, I have a burning question.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:08:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Wedding trends.

• 1:08:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Is there anything that you are seeing that you're like, oh, God, no, please don't do this? Like, is there anything that's really hot right now? Are there good trends that you like? Just anything that you're seeing in the trend world?

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, so here's the thing. I would say like, I mean, this is just personal preference. Like, I'm not, I mean, not to like, dog myself here, but like, I'm not a super trendy person. I'm a little bit more classic. I'm a little bit more like, when something is becoming trendy, like, let's not dive like, we can maybe dip a toe in like the disco ball thing. I actually, I actually kind of, I love disco balls. I think it's cool, but let's not do 7,000 disco balls.

• 1:09:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  You know?

• 1:09:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  Maybe let's do a couple. Maybe like a disco ball drink stir or like a disco ball or something. Like, let's do like, let's find like little ways to incorporate trends instead of like making it like a theme party.

• 1:09:41Rayna Greenberg?

  What you're talking about is a theme.

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Right, well, people do it. That's a trend. People do it.

• 1:09:45Rayna Greenberg?

  What do you think about themes? Did you consider doing a theme? And like, what would this theme be?

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  I have a theme that guides me.

• 1:09:52Rayna Greenberg?

  You have an atmosphere. No, I mean, a theme's like New York City as a theme.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  No, it's not a theme party, no. So creating adjectives and putting a vision together is different than like, you're coming to a ballroom in Los Angeles and we're gonna have like, New York City street names as like your table numbers.

• 1:10:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Right, the metro card as the table number.

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  Which, by the way, people, we have clients who we've done it for, you know what I mean? Like, we've, we've done all of it and it's fine and it's, and you know, at the end of the day, if you love it, that's all that matters.

• 1:10:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:20Speaker 02

  That is truly all that matters. I don't really care what anything looks like, even from like, I will say, a lot of like luxury wedding planners really make sure that the aesthetic of the couple matches their aesthetic. Like, we actually, I don't care. If you love it, I love it. You want me to plan, I don't know, people swinging from the chandeliers, like, we'll plan it. I wouldn't do that at my wedding, but if you want to do it at hers, let's go.

• 1:10:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  There is one, like, one that I really find funny is like, they have like the girls with like the skirts and they have like, they're serving like champagne and they're on like stilts. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't want anyone on stilts.

• 1:10:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I like this. No, I like this. Like the Great Gatsby. Burlesque over the top.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. It's like a Great Gatsby party. I mean, and some of that, like, I want to incorporate some elements that make it feel like a really, like, a party vibe. Yeah, and there's so many ways to do that. You know, there's also ways to, like, you know, flip, flip the atmosphere. Like, it's really calm and cool up until a certain point, and then, like, you know, we transition into the big party, or whatever it is. I actually would say the biggest trend I'm seeing, which I personally love, is cocktail-style receptions, which is like not a seated dinner. Not a seated dinner.

• 1:11:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  We can say, I'm not, I'm not doing a seated dinner.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  So I want to talk about it. It's gonna be, you walk in to the reception, it's party time.

• 1:11:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let's party.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  There will be food, plenty of it. There will be drinks, plenty of it. There will be staff, plenty of it. You will have a table and a seat to go to. Okay. But you will eat when you want to eat. You will dance when you want to dance. You will mingle when you want to mingle. And that's what, that's how this is gonna go.

• 1:11:52Rayna Greenberg?

  So I think that the old, it's a little more old-fashioned. I love what you're doing. I'm so excited about it. I think old-fashioned, like, when I was planning my wedding, my mom was like, you have, there has to be, like, a flow to this. You must give people an hour to sit down. And I don't enjoy that as much.

• 1:12:07Speaker 02

  Well, I think what it is, a lot of people have, think about, like, depending on the age range of the couple, you have, like, wedding fatigue. Like, if you are thirty-five and you've, for the past ten years, you've been going to seven weddings a year, you've been to the same, get to the venue, wait for the ceremony, then you get a glass of champagne after you waited a half an hour, right? Then you get one piece of cheese and a cracker. Like, do you know what I mean? I mean, I will give you, listen, we plan most of our weddings, New York City, New Jersey, LA, we do do destination weddings, and all, all around the country. We've done weddings in Dallas, and Florida, and Lake Tahoe, and whatever, but mainly we're Califor, we're east coast, west coast, like, California, Santa Barbara, Napa Valley, to LA, Malibu, whatever, and New Jersey, New York.

• 1:12:49Speaker 02

  I will say, like, New Jersey, if there's one thing about a New Jersey wedding is their cocktail hours are like, you, it's like the Hunger Games. It's like you're in the capital. It's like, you are, it, like, you've never seen so much food in your entire life.

• 1:13:02Rayna Greenberg?

  It's hours long. It's the best.

• 1:13:04Speaker 02

  An hour to an hour and a half long, but it's like when you get like shrimp. It's like from the floor to the ceiling.

• 1:13:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it's my favorite thing.

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  It's absurd. It's grotesque. It's amazing.

• 1:13:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're like, it's grotesque. I'm like, that's the best wedding I've ever been to.

• 1:13:19Speaker 02

  And it's amazing. So anyway, like they don't do that in California, right? So like, so there are so many different experiences. And actually in the South, like if you go to a wedding in New Orleans, they oftentimes also don't do sit down dinners. So really very like, there's a lot of like regional, specific traditions and trends. But I think going back to really quickly, like couples, let's say you've been going to weddings for 10 years and you have like wedding fatigue. Like every wedding feels the same. Insert a different like centerpiece, right? Ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, dance, go home, right? And I feel like a lot of couples are coming to us and being like, how can we make this unique? How can we do this differently?

• 1:14:00Speaker 02

  So there we've had so many weddings over the past, I'd say like three years where we haven't even had chairs out for a ceremony. We've had people like gather around like a big staircase and like the couple stands on the staircase and it's a 10 minute long ceremony.

• 1:14:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  And that's how you know it's gonna be quick if you're standing.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  Exactly. It's gonna be quick, but they danced for an hour and a half before the ceremony.

• 1:14:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love this.

• 1:14:21Speaker 02

  We did the ceremony in the middle. So the ceremony wasn't first.

• 1:14:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is so fun.

• 1:14:25Speaker 02

  They walked into the wedding and the band was rip roaring out. This was an amazing band. It was this unbelievable Latin band, like 15 person Latin band. Oh my God, it was incredible. I mean, people were on the dance floor before they got their first drink.

• 1:14:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's what I want it to be like.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was incredible. So this is, so but this is an experience that you don't get at most weddings. So like, and you don't have to even follow that formula. It's just one, right?

• 1:14:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I think this is what you have to ask yourself. Like I didn't want this stuffy, formal program. It can feel really forced. We are still gonna have some people speak. It's not gonna be too much. I mean, there is nothing worse than like an hour of speeches from amateurs who have never held a mic. And you're just like, what are we doing? And then you get your courses and I know this, like, I don't want to offend anybody because it's whatever you want. But like, you just have to ask yourself, that's the same thing as the indoor versus outdoor. What do you want it to be? And again, sometimes your parents are paying and they make the decision.

• 1:15:18Speaker 02

  Well, so that's a

• 1:15:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's not my story and I'm this is exactly how I want it to be. And I was like, I wanted to feel like a party and anything but like that formal structure. And you were so great with, we talked about some things and some things I was like, that sounds crazy to me. Can you, have you done this? Does it work? And you're like, yeah, this is how we're gonna do it. And Jacqueline, she's like, brought in some crazy ideas. We're gonna have some like lounge seating. You're gonna die. And so there's like a green velvet couch, you're gonna die. And so there's just

• 1:15:44Speaker 02

  Not her telling all of our secrets.

• 1:15:48Rayna Greenberg?

  I like not this, the normal, I just, I sometimes I'm like really getting into it, the cocktail, I'm having so much fun. And it's like, okay, it's time to separate everybody now and go to your seat.

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  Just having fun.

• 1:15:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I was having a great time and now I have to sit here and be served. I mean, I'm gonna talk such hard shit with you about weddings I've gone to. I mean, I

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  No, let's do it. First of all, I'll add you to the company group chat because that's, that's, that's the final boss.

• 1:16:11Rayna Greenberg?

  I sat through a two plus hour dinner at a wedding and they just kept clearing and serving. And I think it was really important to her to like have great food and the food was great, but I was like, can we

• 1:16:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  And now we're supposed to dance after all that?

• 1:16:23Rayna Greenberg?

  I, I went home.

• 1:16:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  I need a nap.

• 1:16:26Rayna Greenberg?

  I did go home. I had to go, I had to go somewhere the next day. I was done with this night.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  Believe it or not, like we have couples that come to us and they're like, hey, so like my family, like they're not big dancers. We're not big dancers. So we do want the experience to be like a three hour long dinner. And we're like, okay, like, so, and then there are people who are like, we want this to feel like a party and like it's, you know, and it's great. And but see, that's why we love our job is what we do and why the experience has to be so personal and so catered. And it's one of the reasons why pricing can't be the same for everyone because everybody wants different things. Everybody like request different things and some things take longer to plan or shorter to plan, or it's more difficult to plan, or there's more details to plan. And so

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  there's no black and white, cotton dry answer to anything. But I will say circling back to if you're good at communicating with your planner or your partner, if you're not planning on using a planner, which is also fine, you know, my analogy for that is like, listen, you don't have to use a wedding planner. The worldwide web exists. You can Google people, right? And find vendors. Number one, you're going to be shooting in the dark, looking for like a needle in a haystack. Or if you work with a wedding planner, we can, you tell us what you want and like, we are laser focused and find that vendor. But the other thing is, I always say, I'm like, listen, I cook my, my own dinner a lot and it never tastes as good as when a chef cooks it. Do you know what I mean? Like I, whenever I cook dinner, I'm always like, oh, you know what I'm going to do next time? I'm going to add a little bit of this or I'm going to take a little bit of that. Like you don't get that chance in like wedding planning.

• 1:17:49Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, you could do anything you want and it's on a very small scale, but like I planned a three day festival for my birthday.

• 1:17:55Speaker 02

  Um, I, which I saw and was incredible and looked insanely fun. I was stalking her and Taylor's.

• 1:18:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I wish she would have been involved. Cause listen, I enjoyed it and I love that kind of stuff and I'm very organized and very professional. And Ashley and I have been planning live shows for so many years. I'm good at it, but I enjoyed it a little less because I was in charge of everything and I had to like do all the planning.

• 1:18:17Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:18:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I had to make sure, I, I was the point person for when am I showing up? What is like, it just, it was a lot on me and I loved it. It was the best weekend of my life, but I could have enjoyed it 20% more by spending a little more on a coordinator for the weekend.

• 1:18:32Speaker 02

  Okay. So let's wrap up with a little tea.

• 1:18:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:34Speaker 02

  Okay. So what do you see the biggest conflicts that arise in the wedding planning process? Not like vendors, like more like with the, is it families? Is it couples, you know, budget, obviously, but what do you see?

• 1:18:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. I mean, biggest conflicts are always like, always the family. It's always the family. So if you think about it, when we're doing consultations, we're typically meeting with the couple. What, who we're not meeting with are their families. So we have had times where we've worked with a couple for two years, a year and a half, a year, and the couple's amazing. And we show up like wedding weekend and their parents are monsters.

• 1:19:15Speaker 02

  Like absolute monsters.

• 1:19:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Are they the ones who created the budget?

• 1:19:19Speaker 02

  Not some, yes, some no.

• 1:19:21Rayna Greenberg?

  That's not why I'm asking you. I'm just asking like, should people, if you're like, my mom's paying for this whole thing and she's all these, then include her in the meetings rather than putting you in the position.

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. So we've also, we've even had scenarios where like partners, whether it's someone's fiance, like, hey, I don't really want to be a part of wedding planning. I'll let this partner be like work with the planner and come up with the decisions. And then on wedding, they'd be like, why is this happening? It'd be like, well, you weren't part of this. So like you now, like you've lost the right to have an opinion. Now you just do have to do like what we kind of don't tell you to do. Which of course we have ways around it. We now make sure at least the partner, the fiance, even if they're not part of planning, we make sure that they fully understand the execution, the plan, like where our team's going to be, where other vendors are going to be. But I'd say conflicts are really big. I mean, the tea is, we see a lot with divorced families,

• 1:20:11Speaker 02

  especially if like a dad's bringing like a new chickadee around. Like that is always hard to manage. And like we've become therapists.

• 1:20:20Rayna Greenberg?

  So I was wondering, are you like the therapist in this situation?

• 1:20:22Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:20:24Rayna Greenberg?

  And what do you say?

• 1:20:25Speaker 02

  But you know, we try to keep, what we try to do is really make sure we focus on the couple. We're like, this is about you. We're gonna remove these people from your orbit, right? We're gonna bring them into this room or, you know, we try to like, give our couple like a safe space. They'll be around you for three pictures and then we can, you know, shove them back off in the crowd again, or like whatever it is. So we try to just stay really positive. We try to, we try to understand family dynamic. I mean, part of the planning is tell us about your family dynamics. Like, you know, or Uncle Joe and Aunt Suzie going through a nasty divorce. Like are they, are we gonna have like candlesticks flying across the table, which has happened?

• 1:21:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:02Speaker 02

  I've had mothers of the brides like crying in the bridal suite with me because they're watching their ex-husband with like their, you know, secretary, you know? And I'm like, so like, yeah, I mean, we've seen it all. We've seen nasty fiancés with each other. We've seen parents, we've seen just, just people who are like irrational, I would say. I feel like weddings either bring out the best or the worst in people.

• 1:21:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  You've seen it all. Yeah. But everybody wants to know if you feel like there are signs along the way. For sure. That they are not going to make it, whether it's in the planning process or even on the wedding day. For 100%.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  All you have to do, first of all, if you want to know if you're marrying the right person, just ask your wedding planner.

• 1:21:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I'm sorry.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm dead serious. Like, I actually dream about starting like a relation, like I wish I was a therapist because I could easily be like a relationship like therapist.

• 1:21:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Listen, put us in, Coach.

• 1:21:49Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 1:21:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  You just send them to us. The three of us can do it together.

• 1:21:52Speaker 02

  Like I'm 1000% like, even like a relationship podcast, I would film at the mouth to like, to just focus on that.

• 1:22:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Quarterly. Yeah. Tell us all the tells.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  Okay, so I will say this, the hardest part is when you see one person who's clearly has the power and the other person shrinks. And that's heartbreaking, right? You're watching and there have been times where we've wanted to like shake and be like, please don't marry this person. Obviously, obviously, we've never done that. There have been times we've certainly wanted to.

• 1:22:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, it's so hard.

• 1:22:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's hard when you see people just not being treated nicely, you know, because again, we spend a lot of time with these people. So we see when their mask kind of falls. We see when they're stressed out, whether it's about money or whether it's about family or whatever. Like, we really get to see.

• 1:22:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  You have a front row seat too. How do we, how do you guys make decisions as a couple and handle conflict? What's more important than that?

• 1:22:47Speaker 02

  How they communicate with each other, how they handle just differing of opinions, of differing of how they prioritize their family members. And, you know, are they aligned religiously? Are they aligned politically?

• 1:23:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Financially?

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  Are they aligned financially? I mean, we get an insight to literally everything. After 14 and a half years, we've had more people break up before the wedding than we have divorces.

• 1:23:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  I was gonna ask if you've had people break up in the process?

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  Definitely.

• 1:23:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  We've, last year, last year alone, there were like six.

• 1:23:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Are you serious?

• 1:23:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  And like, far along?

• 1:23:23Speaker 02

  Not all, but some.

• 1:23:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  And did you see it coming? Have you been blindsided?

• 1:23:28Speaker 02

  There wasn't even one that kind of blindsided us. Some of the, I'd say five out of the six, we were like, yeah, like God bless.

• 1:23:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  What were the tells to you?

• 1:23:37Speaker 02

  They kind of just seemed like they didn't like each other.

• 1:23:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:23:39Speaker 02

  It was, I mean, it's pretty obvious. Like if you sat down next to them at a bar and you were like, listening to their data, you'd be like, why are these two people like next to each other?

• 1:23:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Sometimes people tell us they're getting engaged and we're like, why?

• 1:23:48Speaker 02

  Right. Like they just aren't, it's just not.

• 1:23:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Compatibility.

• 1:23:52Speaker 02

  Compatibility and they're just not nice to each other and they don't have fun and they just, they kind of like are miserable. Right? And so like we, like five out of the six, I would say we could see ish coming. But the one was like, whoa.

• 1:24:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  But if someone asked you, should I marry this person? Would you tell them honestly?

• 1:24:10Speaker 02

  Well, do you want to know what I said, what I would say?

• 1:24:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:14Speaker 02

  I would say, first of all, never, this is, this is my rule in life. Never ask a question you don't want the real answer to. So do you want this to be honest or do you want me to like, tell you what you want to hear?

• 1:24:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  And also you're asking, why are you asking?

• 1:24:28Speaker 02

  You're asking. So to be really honest, if someone, if a bride or a partner or a fiance came to me and said, should I marry this person in your opinion? I wouldn't say you should or shouldn't marry them. I would say, here's what I've observed and use that how you'd like.

• 1:24:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Which I think you and I would probably give that same advice too. Like, how do you feel about the way the person speaks to you? How do you feel about the way it comes off as a little controlling? Do you feel controlled?

• 1:24:57Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:24:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Things like that.

• 1:24:58Speaker 02

  So I, so I never, even when it comes to planning, we don't tell people what to do. We can tell you what we're observing or we can tell you what we think is off or what isn't right. But yeah, I'm not going to tell you not to marry them, but I would point it out. I would be honest to, to an extent, I would be honest.

• 1:25:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. What, um, there used to, what it used to be like, if they smash the cake in each other's face, they're not going to make it. Did you ever see? That if somebody did that to me. Do you see that?

• 1:25:22Speaker 02

  First of all, if someone did that to me.

• 1:25:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Too much money I spent on this makeup?

• 1:25:25Speaker 02

  We'd be divorced before we got married.

• 1:25:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  I saw a groom that sprayed his fiance or his wife with champagne.

• 1:25:31Speaker 02

  No, there's absolutely no way.

• 1:25:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  You don't know me at all if you've done that to me.

• 1:25:35Speaker 02

  If you do that, you have never met me before.

• 1:25:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm wet and I'm sticky now?

• 1:25:39Speaker 02

  I, no, there is just, to be honest, and actually in all my years, I don't know if I've ever seen.

• 1:25:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  People aren't doing that anymore.

• 1:25:46Speaker 02

  Maybe I've seen like someone take like on their finger and like put it on their nose and like they kiss it off. I mean, whatever. I mean, maybe I've seen that, but I've never seen, I don't think I've ever seen like a smash.

• 1:25:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  A full cake smash.

• 1:25:55Speaker 02

  No, I've never seen a full cake smash. Thank God. I think I would be just, I think I would be horrified.

• 1:26:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'll never be that chill.

• 1:26:01Speaker 02

  Have you know?

• 1:26:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Have you ever had a couple like really have a conflict at the wedding?

• 1:26:06Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:26:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just give us one story and then we'll wrap up.

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  Bride smoked when she was really drunk and she went outside to smoke a cigarette. The groom lost his.

• 1:26:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  For smoking?

• 1:26:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. He was like, you taste like cigarettes now. And he was like, you know, I hate it when you do this. So you couldn't stop like on our wedding night?

• 1:26:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can't let me do what I want to do?

• 1:26:27Speaker 02

  Full blown like fight at the bar. Like they didn't like go in like the bridal suite and she was like, it's my wedding too.

• 1:26:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I'm on her side.

• 1:26:35Speaker 02

  And it was like, I mean, yeah, I'm not even saying whose side I'm on, I'm just saying this is what happened. Like, so yes, we've had couples fight.

• 1:26:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, so that you brought up drinking and I swear, we could talk to you for literal hours, but like drunk brides and grooms.

• 1:26:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. So drunk is actually a little easier to deal with than, I mean, I would say more popularly now is people are super into drugs. Like at weddings, like mushrooms, Molly, like, I mean, it's, we've seen literal like cocaine out on like tables. At like weddings and we're just like, what? Like this is like not.

• 1:27:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  But do you like, A, do you see a lot of drunk brides?

• 1:27:12Speaker 02

  And B, do you advise, like, here's how to kind of manage? I've only had, I mean, I think over the years, we probably have had 10 really drunk brides. I would say that's, I would say typically the couples are so busy mingling that like they're not. Like, yes, we have a drink in their hand, but they're not. Actually like finishing their drink and like being like 10 drinks deep.

• 1:27:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:35Speaker 02

  They're kind of like, you know, you're hugging everyone. You're talking to everyone.

• 1:27:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:38Speaker 02

  You know, you're busy. You're taking pictures. You're this, you're that. So I would say even if people drink, they don't necessarily get drunk. I'd say like the bridal parties are the ones where like they get really wild because they start drinking at 10 in the morning.

• 1:27:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Guilty. Yeah.

• 1:27:49Speaker 02

  Or and even them like with like pills or like whatever it is they're doing. Like we've seen people trip out. We've seen.

• 1:27:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:55Speaker 02

  I had a bridesmaid once. She was like, let's say there were eight bridesmaids. She was like number six. We now we had done a rehearsal, first of all, so she also knew exactly where to go. But also if you didn't, you will just watch like people in front of you walk down an aisle and go stand somewhere. It's not rocket science, right? She literally walked halfway down the aisle, like just stops, turns around, looks at me and screams, where do I go?

• 1:28:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  What?

• 1:28:24Speaker 02

  And I was like, wait, what?

• 1:28:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Was she wasted?

• 1:28:28Speaker 02

  She was like.

• 1:28:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  There's people behind her and in front of her.

• 1:28:30Speaker 02

  Apparently she had taken like Xanax, but she was drinking and she was just like not, and we were just like, we're like, follow the, go stand with your friends. Like there, there are other girls wearing the same dresses you, 10 feet away. Like it's not.

• 1:28:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, you can see the light.

• 1:28:47Speaker 02

  You, you could literally, you're, you're almost at the end of the tunnel. Like go.

• 1:28:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you're in a line. There's people behind you and in front of you. There's so many places to look.

• 1:28:54Speaker 02

  I think she just like got like blurry.

• 1:28:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  There's just.

• 1:28:57Speaker 02

  Where am I?

• 1:28:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  And there's just this like beautiful like live like violin playing and she's just screaming like, where do I go now? The drinking thing, I see drunk grooms. We've all seen them.

• 1:29:08Speaker 02

  Which I, by the way, hate.

• 1:29:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hate.

• 1:29:10Speaker 02

  I think it's completely disrespectful.

• 1:29:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  If you get up there to the altar and you have a hint that you are slurring, you could have had a beer or two, whatever.

• 1:29:18Speaker 02

  Right, a beer or two, fine.

• 1:29:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like if you've been drinking with the boys all day and you are not your full alert.

• 1:29:24Speaker 02

  If you are not sober enough to drive.

• 1:29:30Speaker 02

  You are not sober enough to marry me.

• 1:29:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're talking about breathalyzer. Raina, you better breathalyze him when we get up there. We're gonna bring one up there.

• 1:29:38Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm gonna need a Xanax.

• 1:29:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 1:29:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Raina, now you have to walk down halfway the aisle and go, where do I go?

• 1:29:44Speaker 02

  Where do I go? Where do I go? Do you know what I mean? Like, I think it's disrespectful, personally. I think it's rude. I think it's disrespectful to families, to friends. You've asked people to travel, to get dressed up, to come celebrate you, and you, what, being drunk was more important to you? Like, that is just red flag city.

• 1:30:03Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm with you. And listen, I think that people should have fun however they want to have fun. Personally, for me, one of the first questions I asked her was, do you plan on drinking that day? What, you're spending so much money. Don't you remember this? Isn't this supposed to be the most important day?

• 1:30:16Speaker 02

  If the two of you want to blackout, like, 10 PM.

• 1:30:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  If that's for your vibe.

• 1:30:20Speaker 02

  Great, let's do it. Like, I will be the first ones, like, they're supporting you, handing you the shots. But like, we gotta get through the respectful stuff first.

• 1:30:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, we, again, could talk to you forever. We'll have you back, listen.

• 1:30:32Rayna Greenberg?

  We're gonna go drink. I have so much shit to talk with you.

• 1:30:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:34Speaker 02

  We could definitely do five more episodes.

• 1:30:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  100%. Well, you'll spill the tea on my wedding.

• 1:30:38Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 1:30:39Rayna Greenberg?

  You'll come back.

• 1:30:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  You'll come back in November.

• 1:30:41Speaker 02

  We'll do a post-wedding.

• 1:30:42Rayna Greenberg?

  We'll talk about how I did. We'll focus on me, mostly.

• 1:30:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let's do it.

• 1:30:45Rayna Greenberg?

  My trauma at the wedding.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  Okay, so, I'm sure everyone's like, what's a planner cost? And that's, again, not a black and white answer. Your t-shirt example applies here. But if we want to give them an idea.

• 1:30:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:57Speaker 02

  So, I think it's important, again, let's go back to, there's gonna be planners that have less experience. There are gonna be planners that are newer at it, so they're gonna charge less. You could, can you get a wedding planner for $5,000 to do a certain number of services? Sure. Can you get a planner for $25,000? Absolutely. Can you get a planner for $300,000? Absolutely. And everything in between. I mean, if I told you some of the minimums that people have, you would actually fall out of your armchair. But it's like...

• 1:31:27Rayna Greenberg?

  The minimums? Like, $500 or something?

• 1:31:30Speaker 02

  No, for, no, I mean, like, for a wedding planner, like, they would say, like, your budget has to be a minimum of 1.2 million, and my cut is 20% of that, right? So I would, right? Okay. Yeah. I know. And that's just rich people shit.

• 1:31:42Rayna Greenberg?

  It sounds New York City shit.

• 1:31:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, or LA.

• 1:31:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 1:31:45Speaker 02

  LA, don't, right down the street is, are like three planners that I know right down the street that have that too.

• 1:31:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Right, I forgot about Beverly Hills.

• 1:31:52Speaker 02

  Yes, but I would say here's the, I'll give you the same answer that I gave about the venue. You create your budget. What are you willing to spend? Forty to 50%? No more than 50% should be spent on your venue. A wedding planner should eat up anywhere from 10 to 20% of your wedding budget. Doesn't matter, now, we don't change our fees based on your budget, but that's how much you should be allocating based on your budget. So if you start looking for a planner, there's your gauge. And then for some venues, for example, I am thinking about where my brother got married, it was a wedding venue. I think probably the coordinator, like the day of was like wrapped into the cost. Is that typically true? Not always. First of all, not every venue has a coordinator. By the way, coordinators

• 1:32:36Speaker 02

  and planners have completely different jobs. Right. A coordinator often has never spoken to any of your vendors prior to the wedding day. If a vendor doesn't show up, like they're not trying to like find you another vendor, they're not problem solving. If, if you're getting ready at a hotel, or a home, or an apartment, like they're not with you. Like they, they live at the venue and they, their job is mainly to manage their staff. They're making sure their staff is showing up, their kitchen is running, their bars are stocked, like their furniture is out. Whatever it is that they are responsible for, the coordinators are more responsible for their stuff, but they're not managing mom and bridal party and all sorts of things. And the truth is,

• 1:33:18Speaker 02

  a good wedding planner and a good coordinator, like we need coordinators, like we need venue coordinators and we work beautifully with them. And vice versa, we have wedding venues that have amazing coordinators that are like, you need a planner, because we don't do the things the planners do, and the planners don't do the things that we do. So it's like, when you have a planner and a coordinator that understand their roles properly, it is the best support any couple could have.

• 1:33:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, got it.

• 1:33:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love that.

• 1:33:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm obsessed with you.

• 1:33:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 1:33:48Rayna Greenberg?

  I can't wait. I want to get married.

• 1:33:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm obsessed with both of you.

• 1:33:50Rayna Greenberg?

  I can't wait to get married and have you plan it.

• 1:33:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't wait.

• 1:33:52Rayna Greenberg?

  And I'm so excited for Ashley's wedding.

• 1:33:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, oh my gosh.

• 1:33:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Best friends the whole day. I can't wait.

• 1:33:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't wait.

• 1:33:57Speaker 02

  Well, thanks for coming on and thank you for everything.

• 1:33:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:34:00Speaker 02

  I've loved working with you so much and just, you know, being friends too. We're gonna go have drinks with Taylor.

• 1:34:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Absolutely.

• 1:34:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Remind people where they can find you and your company. And I think you're gonna have enough work for the rest of your life now.

• 1:34:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  I hope so.

• 1:34:13Speaker 02

  So you can find us on Instagram. We are at theweddingplanandcompany. Online, we're theweddingplanandcompany.com. It's pretty straightforward. So either our website, our Instagram are probably the two easiest, easiest places to find us.

• 1:34:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and we'll link it in the show notes for you guys, of course, as well. And you can find us at girlsgottaeat.com, girlsgottoeatpodcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess, Reina is reina.greenberg. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend. Seek Jacqueline out when you and her company, of course.

• 1:34:47Speaker 02

  We plan weddings all over the country and all over Europe and Mexico and you name it. So reach out.

• 1:34:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Good luck out there, guys.

• 1:34:55Rayna Greenberg?

  So excited for the wedding. We'll see the livestream for Ashley's wedding.

• 1:34:58Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh, not us livestreaming the wedding.