Part Two: Atheist Dies on the Operating Table, Meets Her Spirit Guide, and Sent Back With 12 Messages to Share on Love, Connections & Why We Are Never Alone | Nancy Rynes

What if time isn’t real, multiple timelines exist simultaneously, and your consciousness can leave your body? In this episode of Mayim Bialik's Breakdown, Nancy Rynes (scientist, geologist, archaeologist, artist, inspirational speaker, and author of Awakenings from the Light: 12 Life Lessons from a Near Death Experience) reveals the unbelievable story of her near death experience (NDE) and the profound revelations that changed everything she believed about life, death, consciousness, and what happens after we die. After being hit by a car while riding her bike, Nancy describes watching the accident from outside her body, experiencing a split in consciousness between her ordinary “ego” awareness and what she calls her higher self, and encountering a mysterious woman who helped her at the scene, yet has never been identified to this day. During surgery, Nancy says she awakened somewhere completely unlike the physical world: a beautiful, ethereal hillside filled with tendrils of pulsating energy. But it wasn't a physical place at all. Nancy came to understand it as a kind of “construct.” As an atheist, her first question upon realizing she may have died was why wasn’t she in hell? Then came her encounter with a spirit guide, who told Nancy she had to return to “earth school”, something she desperately did not want to do. Nancy remembers an agreement she believes she made before birth: a “soul contract” that included being born into her particular family and undergoing specific personal transformations in order to fulfill her soul’s purpose. She also shares the 12 life lessons she says emerged from her NDE, including her profound belief that “God is love” and completely all-encompassing and all-inclusive, and that we are never truly alone. She explains why she believes energy levels may be the only thing separating our reality from the other realm, and recounts a powerful life review in which she experienced how her actions had positively or negatively affected other people. Her experience gave her a radically different perspective on the enormous impact of seemingly insignificant choices, including small, random acts of kindness that may affect someone far more deeply than we realize. Nancy also opens up about what happened after she returned to her body: the physical and emotional recovery, the struggle to readjust to ordinary reality, and the depression she experienced because she desperately wanted to return to the spirit realm she had experienced. At the same time, she discovered new creative abilities and gifts that she hadn't experienced before. Nancy describes remembering two of her friends dying before her NDE—only to discover that both friends were still alive when she returned. This bizarre experience became part of why she believes different timelines can exist at the same time and why she now views time as an illusion. Her experiences may have challenged everything she once believed, but Nancy wasn't always spiritually open. As a small child, she was deeply spiritual and believes she may have experienced an earlier NDE at age 4, which may have primed her for remote viewing later in life. Raised Catholic, she nevertheless questioned and rejected many of the teachings she was exposed to. As an adult, her science-minded brain—shaped by her work as a geologist and archaeologist—made her especially skeptical. She also carried a powerful fear of death. Yet before her life-changing accident, Nancy says she began experiencing strange dreams and an unmistakable feeling that something was about to happen. Was her childhood experience a preview of what was to come? Did her consciousness actually separate from her body? Who was the mysterious woman at the accident scene? What exactly is “earth school”? Could a soul contract really exist? And if Nancy’s memories of her friends suggest that multiple timelines can coexist, what does that mean for our understanding of time, consciousness, and reality? This is a fascinating deep dive into NDEs, consciousness, the afterlife, higher self, spirit guides, soul contracts, life reviews, remote viewing, spirituality, timelines, and the mystery of what happens when we die! Nancy Rynes Book, Awakenings from the Light: https://a.co/d/041jQwfNNancy Rynes Guidebook, Walking in the Light: https://a.co/d/09mKNyXuNancy Rynes Art: https://nancyrynesart.com/ Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.bialikbreakdown.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ https://www.youtube.com/mayimbialik%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0%E2%81%A0See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Mayim Bialik?

  Hi, I'm Iam Bialik.

• 0:05Jonathan Cohen?

  And I'm Jonathan Cohen.

• 0:07Mayim Bialik?

  And welcome to part two of our conversation with near-death experiencer Nancy Rynes. Nancy was on a routine bike ride when she was hit by an SUV. She left her body, observed the entire accident, and then three days later had an NDE while on the operating table. In part two of our conversation, we're going to talk about the place that she was during her NDE and the lessons that she learned from the guide who walked her through a life review and an explanation of the reality of her existence. We hope you enjoy part two of our conversation with Nancy Rynes.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Break it down.

• 0:48Mayim Bialik?

  You're sort of hovering in a sort of liminal space. You're feeling this enormous love and safety. You're seeing what you're describing as sort of like tendrils of the energy, which reminds me of Thomas Campbell seeing strings between trees after he, you know, had his sort of enlightenment experience. And there's no sun in the sky, which I love this as a visual moment, right? There's no sun in the sky, but there's some sort of light. You are, to our knowing, you are in the middle of a near-death experience. What happens next?

• 1:25Speaker 03

  So I'm standing, kind of like in my awareness, I'm standing around wondering, okay, now what comes next? Now that I realize, you know, that that earth thing is, is a, it's an illusion state or a dream state. Now what do I do? And I thought, well, this is kind of an okay place to hang out until, you know, surgery's done. Not bad, I'm okay with this. And then I kind of noticed that off, kind of behind, from behind me, sort of, not really fully behind me, but from the side, like from the right side and behind, I got kind of caught a glimpse of a figure, a person, what appeared to be a person approaching me. And it looked like, when she came up, I call her a she, but that's just...

• 2:10Mayim Bialik?

  If it was the lady from your accident, if it was Anne, I give up. And this is the last episode of this podcast.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  No, no, I mean, it didn't look like her. Maybe it was her consciousness, I don't know. But this person who walked up, didn't, she never actually gave me her name during this all. So I had no idea who she was. I kept asking her name, but she wouldn't tell me. Basically, she said it isn't important because, you know, human names don't really have any meaning, you know, in that state. So it doesn't really matter. She said, well, at some point, she said, well, you can just call me whatever you want. And, but I didn't, I actually started just calling her my guide or my teacher. But she came up and, and I looked at her, she, she appeared to be vaguely human.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  And I say vaguely because it didn't look, you know, like a concrete person. She was a little bit taller than me, so she looked to be about 5'6", 5'7". So I had to look up a little bit to her. She had long, long brown hair, kind of curly, but it was very, very long. In my, in my viewpoint, it looked very long, down to like the middle of her back. But the funky thing, and it still bothers me, because, you know, I'm also an artist, so I like to paint people. I never was able to get a good look at her face. The whole time all this is going to happen with her, I never got to see her actual face. It was like it was blurry all the time. And I could never get a good look.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  And it really bothered me that I couldn't. I kept trying to find her face and I never was able to see it. But she introduced herself as my guide, you know, I'm, I'm your guide to this place. I'm going to help you learn what you need to learn in order to go back to your life on earth. And when I heard, go back to your life on earth, I actually threw a knock down, drag out, temper tantrum. There was no way I was going back to that earth, that earth school, because that place in my mind at that point was pretty messed up. You know, this is pretty cool over here. I don't want to go back and experience that earth reality.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  And then she said, well, you've already agreed to go back. And I, what?

• 4:35Mayim Bialik?

  I can't see your face, but you could tell me I already agreed to go back?

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. I couldn't see her face, but she reminded me that I already made an agreement before I was born to go back. And I, I was getting kind of snarky at this point. And I, and, and that's just my personality, you know?

• 4:53Mayim Bialik?

  I like that you're the nastiest, snarkiest NDE survivor we've ever spoken to. You're like, I want to punch someone in the face while I'm dying.

• 5:02Speaker 03

  So I got a little snarky with it. It wasn't like nasty, disrespectful. It was more like, I just don't remember doing that.

• 5:09Jonathan Cohen?

  Yeah, show me the proof. You say I've signed a contract? Where's the paperwork?

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:15Mayim Bialik?

  I'll have my lawyer get on this.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  She did, actually. She showed me, kind of in the air in front of me, sort of a video, a recording of me in front of, it's again, very misty looking. It, it wasn't like concrete, but it was a very misty looking room I was in. It was all white, kind of a gray, white. And I was aware that there were other beings like me around me who I, I assume were soul friends or my teachers, I don't know who they were, but there were other beings around me. And I was standing, looking at, and again, this is a construct, so don't take this literally. But in, in this view that I had, I was looking at a book.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  And I was agreeing to go into this particular family, do specific things. But part of the path that I was agreeing to coming into this life that I'm in now was, I was going to have several opportunities to transition from being an atheist. So being an atheist was an agreement that I had. I wanted to experience being an atheist. But I was given, I think it was three different opportunities to switch back to a more spiritual viewpoint on my own. And I blew through all three of those and completely ignored them.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  And if I, my agreement was that if I blew through all those and ignored them, then I would have some kind of a transcendental type of experience, a spiritually transformative experience, to get me back into a spiritual mindset for the rest of my life.

• 7:06Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, this is the story that I tell. The man who, there's a flood in his town and everybody says, let's get out. And he says, I'm waiting for God. And the waters are rising and a boat comes by and he's like, I'm good, waiting for God. And then the water's up and he's up on the roof and a helicopter's like, how about now? And he's like, I'm waiting for God. And he gets to heaven or wherever and God, you know, says to him, what are you doing here? And he's like, what are you, how did you not save me? And God said, I sent you a neighbor, I sent you a boat, and I sent you a helicopter. Right? But in my story, he doesn't get to go back and try again.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Well, I got to go back against my will, but, but that's, but it was absolutely positively laid out and I couldn't refute it because then I remembered it when I saw it. It was like, oh, yeah. I kind of remember doing that, you know? Now that, now that I'm out of all of this, I remember having made that agreement. So I guess I'm going to have to go along with this for now.

• 8:03Mayim Bialik?

  What did any of us agree to that we don't get to know unless we almost die?

• 8:10Jonathan Cohen?

  It's fascinating that she remembers this agreement in some other form of reality. And this is before AI is there. You can't even say, that's an AI video of me.

• 8:22Mayim Bialik?

  But I know what you're describing, because what she's describing is this, there's a different kind of knowing that Nancy got to have. And I've heard this from every NDE person we've spoken to. There's a different kind of emotional and cognitive communication that we don't understand unless we are in that state. And so when she saw it, and I saw it in your eye, you were like, oh, yeah. Because this knowing came over her. And look, in the, in the analysis of what happened, that could have also been a construct, that you were told to feel like you remembered that you signed it? We don't have to ever know.

• 9:04Mayim Bialik?

  But this lady came back from the dead to tell us about it, so I'm going to go with your accounting.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, as far as I know, that's but the the you can't you you you actually can access some of that's those knowings if you know that those agreements that you came into this life with, but that's a different that's kind of a different story. But in that moment, I remembered, oh, I guess I did. And there were other things that I had want. So it isn't just like you sign a contract and this is like a Shakespearean play where you have to follow along with the lines that are given to you. That's not the whole point here. The the point is, I realized in that moment was, these are kind of some of the highlights that I my highlight reel. These are some of the things I want to experience. This, these are some of the things that I want to do. Some of them weren't about me.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  It was helping other people through through different things. One of them was I was being born into this particular family for one specific reason is to help my father. That was one of the reasons that I wanted I chose that particular family is is I wanted to help him transition out of the kind of person he was.

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• 15:01Speaker 03

  And into something more loving. And that was one of the reasons I chose that family. And so I remembered all of this stuff, but in the back of my mind, I still didn't want to go back. I was kind of weighing like, okay, this is pretty cool. I know it's not the full-on quote afterlife, but it's also not earth school. It's not the earth realm at this point, but it's in some in-between state. But I'm trying to figure out, well, okay, so I made this agreement to go back. How can I break this agreement? I really wanted to break the agreement and just stay.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  So I went along with her and allowed her to quote, "teach me what I needed to know for coming back." Because there were specific things that I was supposed to learn in order to come back into this life. And and I think also in hindsight, certain transformations that I would need to make in order for all of this to make sense.

• 16:07Mayim Bialik?

  I'd like everyone to take a moment and realize that all of this happened while you were under anesthesia, being operated on by a team of nurses and surgeons. Meaning, whatever happened, and however skeptical people want to be about what Nancy experienced, and we talked with Vinnie Todd Tolman about this as well, you came back from that experience with a small canon of information. You came back with 12 specific messages, each of which is, you know, beautiful, philosophically sound, you know? It's not like you came back with like an equation, you know, to a math problem that no one's ever solved.

• 16:50Mayim Bialik?

  That's not what we're talking about, but you came back with a very specific formula for a life that is your new identity.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Those 12 principles that are in the book were just the highlight reel. You know, there's more, but but those were the 12 most important things that I was supposed to bring back. And it wasn't about doing any of this. It was about making my life better and helping my family members and friends with their lives as well, as much as I could. Like, it's not, it's not within, Thomas Campbell talked about this a lot. It's not within my purview to control someone else. I can just assist. But that was one of the reasons that I took on a lot of this was to help myself make a transition, a transformation, but also just be there and help anybody else who wanted

• 17:45Speaker 03

  to make their own transitions and within my circle of friends and family.

• 17:49Mayim Bialik?

  The rest of your time in this space with your guide, was it like, I mean, I don't mean to ask a dumb question, was it like she was making a speech? Was it more of an emotional download? Because like, at some point, you do have to return to your body, at which point, you know, does this all come to you? Does it just become like part of your consciousness? Like, what are we practically talking about when we talk about this information you're getting from your guide?

• 18:24Speaker 03

  It's very weird how this all happened because it's it's difficult for humans in in this suit to understand what I'm gonna say. So it wasn't just her. So she was like the funnel, the point person for information coming from not just her, but from my whole, let's just say they're my, I call them my spiritual team. They're probably friends. I don't know what you want to call them, but there were many other spiritual beings passing information along to me via her. And I, and at one point, I asked, well, why aren't you all just there? And she said, well, it's just easier this way for you to take in information if it's

• 19:06Speaker 03

  just coming from like what looks like one person. Because it was coming in, it wasn't that she was speaking. In fact, it was funny because if she had to resort to English, she felt like she was failing me. It was all, it was, it was information that was both telepathic and it was like this telepathic emotional knowledge download. I don't even know how to describe it. It was, it was like on continual download of stuff, but it was experiential. And that was what was really important for me is I needed to experience. Different lessons on my own, in my own way,

• 19:52Speaker 03

  as well as getting some, quote, words. So the words came in visuals, mostly like, almost like a pictorial movie. There was like this movie in my head of the concept that I was supposed to get. And if I didn't understand it, then it would come to me like in what I would perceive as English in words. But I tried really hard to get the content via these pictorial representations.

• 20:24Mayim Bialik?

  I mean, look, I hear the words you're saying, but I'm also thinking that like, you have been to a place that is beyond like our understanding.

• 20:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:37Mayim Bialik?

  You know, you got to touch it, but also you then had to take that knowing and have it squeezed back into this meat suit, right?

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 20:46Mayim Bialik?

  So like, I hear the words you're saying. And also I'm like, what the actual fuck is she talking about? Because I can only think in this kind of like binary world, right? Like a word, a meaning, okay, I can think about thoughts. I have feelings, but like you're talking about something like, I believe you and I hear you, but also it's like, how do we, you know, how can we take in this information? It's very overwhelming, you know, this notion. And also even the notion that you talked about, and I really, really love this. And it's one of the, you know, kind of like final points that you want to make. The notion that there is kind of like one guide for us, or, you know, even sort of one notion of like a God.

• 21:30Mayim Bialik?

  There's an entire kind of chorus, right? That is supportive and, you know, I don't know how many Old Testament fans we have out there, but one of the most confounding and beautiful, confusing elements of literally the first chapters. God says, let us make man in our image, in our likeness. And this is like a thing that scholars for thousands of years have talked about. Who's the we, right? And in the very next chapter, it says, God created them in his image, right? So then it like goes back. What is this plural? And when I read that in your book, I was like, oh, it's God and the angels, right?

• 22:14Mayim Bialik?

  That's kind of how the classical interpretation goes. But this notion that your guide communicated to you in the way that you could sort of comprehend, but that there's an entire larger entity of support, which, you know, many traditions call on, many people believe in. I think Betty talks about this kind of like spirit team, right? So I love these sort of similarities, not just between NDE experiences, but for thousands of years of the way people have understood what it means, right? To have, you know, this sort of like deity. It's not just a singular entity. It is an entire community, essentially.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  It's a plural, yeah, definitely. And, and that's how it felt to me too, is it wasn't just, you know, that what I was raised, you know, in the Catholic church, I was raised with that, you know, view of the Sistine Chapel with, you know, a big Caucasian guy with a white beard and, you know, the white flowing hair and the robes as God. And that's not what I experienced. You know, God is everywhere. God is love, all encompassing and all inclusive. And that's what kept coming to me. That I keep saying that because that's, that was the, one of the early lessons I had was, God is love, all encompassing and all inclusive. Not just for some people, but for everybody.

• 23:40Speaker 03

  And so that was like the first lesson I had to learn was the concept of love. That's why it's that first message that I talk about is it's kind of the nature of love. It's, it's kind of that energy. I call it the energy of, of the divine universe, really.

• 23:57Mayim Bialik?

  I'm allowed to have my favorite messages that you received, so I'm going to tell you what they are. I wonder if you can touch on we're never alone. I think a lot of people experience, you know, in this physical existence, a lot of people, you know, even when they're with other people, experience a sense of aloneness or loneliness. We've kind of talked about, you know, this languishing. We've talked about, you know, some of the despairs of disconnectedness. What was this specific message about us not being alone? What are we supposed to do with that?

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it's like a lot of these messages, in hindsight, they're very multi-dimensional. So on the surface, it's, you know, you, you're here on this planet, you know, as your material human self. And one of the encouraging messages that I had via that we're not alone thing is, it may be up to you to reach out and create your own community around you. So it, a lot of us, and I was, I was absolutely guilty of this before my NDE. I waited for the community to come to me. I waited for friendship or companionship or whatever to come to me.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  But, but basically it was, let's flip that on its, on its head. Now it's up to you to seek that community out and keep seeking it or creating it until you get what you want. And it, it can be hard. It can be really hard, but it's very important, not just on the earth reality, but also at the, the, the reality of, we'll just call it the spirit dimension, which I'll talk about in just a second. But on, in this reality, we can't just necessarily sit around and wait for those other people to come into our lives. It is up to each one of us to look for that community

• 25:57Speaker 03

  because that community of people around us is exceedingly important just in this lifetime, just at a very practical level. We know about all this, how important friendships are, whatever. So that was the first, the first thing that kind of came to me in that, in that learning. The second, which took me a while after I got back to really understand, is that when you come into this life,

• 26:25Speaker 03

  you're, you have at least a couple of, I'll call them teachers, spirit teachers, who are hanging out with you all the time. And they're always around. And, and when I look back into my life after, you know, after this, I realized how true that was. I just didn't see it at the, at the time. There's another learning that goes along with this. And all, all of these teachings are really interconnected like this. It's hard to talk about one without talking about others. Part of it is that everyone and everything is very interconnected, not just on the earth realm, but between us and the spirit realm. We, we perceive those as separate.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  They're actually not. They're just different. Think about it as different energy levels within the same system. It's part of the same system. And so for those people who have had loved ones that have passed on, I know, I know, I actually know Suzanne Geissman. And we've talked about this several times. Those loved ones may, some of them may actually be like spirit friends or I wouldn't call them guardian angels because the term angel isn't correct in my, in my own perspective. But, but we have those spirit friends, those guides, those teachers that are here with us all the time because there is really no true separation

• 27:53Speaker 03

  between here and there, except like an energy level. That's it. And they can, some of them are, are with us here all the time and we can learn to communicate.

• 28:06Mayim Bialik?

  I think most people, me being included is like, I don't feel anything. I don't see anything like, thanks a lot, like I'm late for dinner, you know? But I think that the tools that Suzanne teaches, and you actually have some really, really great practical tools as well. The idea is, you know, if there's a frequency knob that some people can just tune, you know, my dog whistle example, you know, dogs can hear things that we cannot. It's outside of the frequency that we can, you know, pick up. And in the same way, and like to me, this is, you know, as a scientist, as someone who's trained, as someone who holds a doctorate, right? Like even, you know, something I have to explain, like even to people close to me,

• 28:50Mayim Bialik?

  like my kids who are like, but are you really doing science with this podcast? This is one of, I think, the easiest and most practical ways to understand this from a scientific perspective. If we think of the ability to perceive and experience as a frequency tuner, some people have the capability to tune into frequencies that other people do not. And it doesn't mean that the people who do not tune into those frequencies get to tell those people that they're not tuning into that frequency. That's just not how it works. And, you know, as I say, I wish upon all those materialists an alien at the foot of their bed. You know, because like, I think for a lot of people, like until it's an alien at the foot of their bed,

• 29:35Mayim Bialik?

  they're not going to get it. But there's all these other realms, which many people do get into with meditation, with the kind of tools that we've talked about with Suzanne. And yes, with plant medicine, with psychedelics, with transcendental meditation, with deep, deep focus, you can evolve your tuner. You may not get it to the same places as other people. I will never be a concert pianist. I'm just like pretty much a mediocre, you know, sight reader. But there is an ability to tune to that frequency. And that's what you got to experience. And I don't know if that's everybody's destiny, but for you, this is now, I mean, you describe it as your new job, you know, when you got back into your body, right?

• 30:18Mayim Bialik?

  You had a new kind of life to live.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  It was a new job.

• 30:22Mayim Bialik?

  Before we get back into your body, um, one of the things, you don't describe a life review in the way that a lot of NDE experiencers do. You know, many people describe this sort of like video and it's like a Rolodex and it's flipping and you're feeling all the emotions. And in particular, um, Buddha Betty, you know, uh, talks about that she felt the collective emotional experience, not only of her, but of all the people that she affected in sort of this, you know, quantum field, right, of energetic experience? Can you talk to us a little bit about what your understanding of your life review was?

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Right. I didn't even know that's what it was at the time. And for probably 18 months, two years afterward, I still, like, I didn't know anything about NDEs when I had mine. I, I just didn't know about it. So I didn't have the term life review in my head when I experienced it. So in high, it was only like much later, as I was finishing up the book, actually, that I learned that terminology. So what I, what, to me, again, you know, the visuals that you'll, you'll hear me talk about, it's a construct. I knew that at the time, that it was something that was being constructed for me

• 31:43Speaker 03

  to make me feel comfortable, which I'm sure some of your other, you know, uh, guests have talked about too. But I was brought to what looked like a beautiful little lake or some big pond up in the mountains. And, and I'm an outdoors girl, so outdoors locations always make me feel good. So that's, I was brought to this pond. It was very black water, very dark, like the southeast where you have the, the tannins in the water. It was very dark water. And my teacher said, you know, I want you to kneel down and touch the surface of the pond with your hand and watch what happens. And I looked at her and I said, I know what's going to happen.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  There's going to be ripples that go off, you know, from the, from where I touched the pond. And she said, just do it anyway. So she, so she kind of got, you know, she got snarky back to me, which is really what I needed. So I knelt down and I touched the surface of the pond and I kind of sat back and just watched. So obviously, yes, ripples went out from where my hand touched. So this is another one of those instances where there were like five different things I was learning all at the same time with one, with one event. But we'll talk about the life review portion. So I, I touched the surface of the pond. There's ripples that goes out. And I sat back and I noticed that there are these little, what look like little, you, I'll just call them YouTube screens.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  They just like little individual, hundreds of these little screens on top of the surface of the pond. And when I would focus on one of them, I would be pulled back into an event in my life. And it was a review of that event. But it was a review, it was a true, true 360. So I experienced that event from my viewpoint and I experienced it from the viewpoint of everybody else who was involved. Not just, you know, the one per, not one, like everybody who was involved. And I felt their, I got to feel their feelings. I heard their thoughts, everything, how I impacted them and not just in that moment, but going forward.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  So an example was, I saw a, uh, an incident where I did something that really helped somebody. And it, and it was for me, a throwaway incident. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. It was at a grocery store at Christmas time. And I was standing in a line and, and I was standing behind a family. They had, it was, you know, Christmas time, cranky kids, kids screaming, parents not in a good state, and they were taking it out on the, on the checkout clerk. So when I got up, I only had a few things. And I was checking out and I just told this woman, I said, you know what? Thank you so much for being here. You're doing an incredible job.

• 34:41Speaker 03

  I really appreciate you just, you know, being here, doing this at this crazy time. Thank you. And that's all it was. But what I had, I didn't realize is how that affected her. She felt so good from that, that it positively impacted the rest of her day. So I got to see the downstream effects of, of that in her life and how she treated her kids better that night. Instead of snapping at them or whatever, she was gracious and, and patient with her kids because one person in a checkout line said, thank you.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  And that's where, so the life, my life review is where a lot of this stuff really came into focus that were, that I learned. I got to see it in real time in my own life. And I saw how it affected, how my, how my thoughts, feelings, words and actions affected everybody else around me.

• 35:48Mayim Bialik?

  Ripples become waves. Like that's the, which also is a song that I really like by Montesiah. Ripples become waves.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's huge.

• 35:56Mayim Bialik?

  You never know the way you touch someone or impact someone can, can ripple out. And in the same way, and you know, maybe you can, can fill in the blanks for us here. Negative things as well have that kind of impact. And this is something that obviously Betty talked about, that she experienced, you know, the, the pain that she had caused and, you know, kind of, I mean, it sort of, you know, brings you to your knees conceptually, right? Like everything kind of matters, right? And it's funny because, you know, I'm that lady who like picks up trash off the street. Like even when nobody's around, right? And like the bathroom at the movie theater, I'm like, why would people leave paper towels on the floor?

• 36:40Mayim Bialik?

  Right? Like we all have our own way that we want to kind of navigate, but like that matters. And in particular, you know, I was thinking about this. I was taught as a child that when you are anywhere, when there are people being of service, look them in the eye, thank them, tell them they matter, you know? And I've carried that through. It's something I teach my children that like, you know, people in our culture, in our society, in this world are often ignored when they're the person cleaning up or they're the person sweeping up or like, you know, many people are not used to even being like interacted with because so many people don't. But like, I'd like, like this makes, I'm going to tell my children,

• 37:24Mayim Bialik?

  this makes me feel like it, maybe it does matter, you know? Maybe it matters when you pick up trash, when you possibly avoid an animal, right? Eating a piece of plastic that you find on the beach, like maybe it actually matters.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  It does. And it does, and it does, it does from many different, again, many different layers, but at a very, so this, this world that we're in, this, what we perceive of as a material world, I consider it a world of energy. That's all it is. And when you do something kind or positive like that, you're effectively, this is the way I teach, you know, those students that I've had. You're strengthening that energy, that energy around you of love, of compassion, of kindness. You're, you're adding to that field, that energy field of love. Every time you do something positive, good. Um, and, and then when you, so like, yeah, when you, when I was in that life review,

• 38:21Speaker 03

  I had, of course, I, I've never done anything really horrible, but they even, you know, I was even shown those times when I was not very kind to people because maybe I was dealing with my own stuff or pain or whatever. There was one instance when I was a teenager and I talk about this a lot because this happens a lot within families. You might say something particularly hurtful to a sibling just because, whatever, whatever reason, you've had a terrible day, your sibling is pushing all your buttons and it's hard for you to kind of get out of that angry mindset. Well, I did this one day with my younger sister. And I didn't, again, I didn't think much of it.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  This is when I was probably in my late teens, I think, uh, probably 17 or 18, I believe. And it was, again, what I thought was a throwaway line. And it was a nasty little comment. And I thought that was it. It really hurt her. And I got to feel her feelings of betrayal, of hurt. That really affected her for a long time afterward. That her older sister said that thing to her.

• 39:32Mayim Bialik?

  Oh.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  Was that mean?

• 39:33Mayim Bialik?

  I mean, that's the reason that's sort of like drawing such a, an emotional reaction. Like, and I feel like tears coming is like, think of the abuse that we inflict on each other as humans. Right? Think of people who do not have tools, capability, people who are mentally ill. Right? Like, just the complexity and the possibility, right? Of, of pain and sort of, you know, tragedy that occurs. Like, it creates a tremendous amount of suffering.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  It does, yeah. And honestly, I'll tell you, the, one of the very first things I did when I got my senses back after the surgery is I called her up and I apologized. It was, she, she had totally forgotten about it. But I could not let that go another minute. I had to express my sorrow and, you know, and love for her.

• 40:26Mayim Bialik?

  That's sort of like also the, the amends process in 12-step programs. It's, you know, a confession. I'm not Catholic, so I don't know. But, you know, the notion, at least in my tradition, is, you know, you can clean the slate. You have these sort of 10 days of repentance that occur, you know? Anyway, um, you know, there are many religious traditions. And the reason I'm bringing this up is, you know, we've kind of been on this, you know, sort of like, this kick of finding these places where, not to prove that religion is right, or that someone has, you know, the authority on how to worship God, but guess what? Religion was designed around what you experienced. And they're trying to put a name on it, and they're trying to find a way.

• 41:08Mayim Bialik?

  And like, oh, how do we get to that place where there is healing and perfection? Okay, this tradition says, let's make you sit in a booth and tell it to a person. Right? Or this tradition says, you've got 10 days in the fall. Right? All these religions were, I'm assuming, right? Trying to catalog and encapsulate the true experience of being human, which arguably thousands of years ago was easier to access. Right? When, you know, people are meditating, or chanting, or not distracted by technology, or, you know, all these things. Like, it was a different state of nature that we were living in. So religion was trying to be like, well, how about we get it this way?

• 41:50Mayim Bialik?

  And then politics gets involved, and then it's not, no longer God, it's just humans. You know? That was my, that was my history of religion in 30 seconds or less.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  Very good.

• 42:00Mayim Bialik?

  Thanks.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Very good. Yeah. Yeah, and that, so that, that whole, uh, life review experience, which I didn't know it was a life review at the time.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  That, in hindsight, was probably the capstone of my learning. Being able to see all of this kind of unfold, again, in my own experience. I got to see, sort of like, you know, reviewing your, your test before you turn it in. You know, at the end of this, the school term. I was able to look at all those events and literally see it from all angles, and experience it from all angles, and understand how if I would have done something differently, the outcome would have been different. And, uh, very, very transformative. It took me a long time to really wrap my brain around what I learned just from that piece of, of the NDE.

• 42:54Mayim Bialik?

  What every person who has had a near-death experience has in common is they don't want to come back. And they are told, you have to go back. And there's some sort of, you know, Elizabeth Krone describes it as being told that her soul had expanded and experienced its fullness, and it was going to be really painful to squeeze it back into her frame. Right? And she experienced a physical, you know, um, you know, pain at that moment. Can you tell us about the moment that you were returned to the land of the living?

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. So it was, it was like right after what I experienced as a life review. And my teacher brought me to a different place that kind of looked like where I started. And she said, well, I, I'm going to have to send you back now. And I, again, I threw a temper tantrum, like, I do not want to go back there. I like this, I just want to keep doing what I'm doing here. Or, you know, experience whatever comes next. And again, yeah, she said, you need to go back, you've already agreed to go back. And, and she said, well, I'm going to leave you with some healing, so that when you come back into your body, it won't be quite so bad. Because I, I was, it wasn't just that I was terrified of being in the earth school again.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  I was afraid I was going to be a paraplegic when I came back. Because what they were doing to my spine was repairing a vertebrae in my lower back that had all but exploded. So there was really nothing left of it. And I, you know, there was always, there's always a chance when a surgeon goes in there and does stuff like that, that you might not come out of it with the ability to walk. So I was really afraid of the body itself, that it would be impaired.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  You know, spoiler alert, that didn't happen. But, so when she said that, she, she put her, not really physically laid her hand on my shoulder, but she put her hand kind of generally over my shoulder, and then over my rib cage, so that I wouldn't feel pain, and that I would heal more quickly. And I thought, well, whatever. I mean, at this point, I'm like, just let her do what she's going to do, because I don't know.

• 45:14Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, you don't, you kind of don't want to mess with your spirit guide when you're dead.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Exactly. Like, and I didn't know what she was doing. I didn't, like, just let her do her thing. So she did that. And, you know, after a while, I was sent back into my life. And I woke up in the recovery room. You know, effectively like two and a half hours after the surgery started, screaming. I was literally screaming at the top of my lungs. Came out of, came out of anesthesia screaming for my guide. I'm like, where is she? I want her back. How come I'm not there?

• 45:52Mayim Bialik?

  Whoa.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  Where am I? Like, the nurses were freaking out.

• 45:56Mayim Bialik?

  And they probably think you're having a negative reaction to anesthesia, and she's hallucinating. And, oh, this is what happens, and she must have had a bad dream, which is what I think many people might say. But no, you were actually remembering what you had just come from.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was pissed. I was so pissed that I was here. Because all of a sudden, so I had gotten used to a level of connection and communication that was now seemingly in that moment, it wasn't reality, but in seemingly in that moment, that connection and communication to my friends, my spirit friend, was cut off. That's my, that was my perception. It didn't last long, but it was my perception at the time. That all of a sudden, here I am, thrown back into this body, all by myself.

• 46:42Mayim Bialik?

  You sobered up, Nancy.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  Exactly. And so I came out of it asking for my teacher, my guide. And they, they thought it was my friend who was in the lobby waiting for me to see, you know? So they brought her in.

• 46:58Mayim Bialik?

  And you punched her in the face.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  And I'm like, that's not who I'm talking about. That's not her.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  And I felt, I actually apologized to my friend later. I'm like, oh, that's not, and I finally told her what had happened. But I said, no, that's not who I'm talking about. So they got me calmed down, and then I was back in. But it was this feeling of all of a sudden being cut off from your family. But not the physical family necessarily here that I'm talking, I'm talking about. The, the, the family at the spiritual level, at the, at that dimension, if you want to call it a different dimension or a different reality. That feeling of grief, it was grief, it was horrible grief. I went through periods of euphoria after my NDE, but also periods of really intense grief at being here.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  And I know a lot of other experiencers will talk about that. It, it got bad. Some of those days were really dark for about 18 months.

• 48:01Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, I, I'm curious, and I, I've never asked this, and I hope it's okay to ask you. Did you ever think, I just want to go back there? Like?

• 48:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. Every day. Every day I battled that for 18 months.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  It was a daily, I was, there'd be times when I was crying, I would be asking, you know, the divine universe to just take me home. Every day, I would, I would pray just to go home. Because it was, I felt like I was on a completely different alien world. And it didn't help that it did feel like a different world when I came back. Not only was I a different person, and had different abilities, and a different sense of reality, and an awakening, all that stuff. There was, there were some differences when I came back, which I still have a hard time kind of wrapping my brain around.

• 48:57Mayim Bialik?

  So you were given an experience of a consciousness that had chosen, right? Essentially, everything you were experiencing, but you still had a process that you needed to go through, in terms of your practical physiology, that required rehabilitation, you know, kind of like walking, like, learning to be in this, like, cast and brace, and, you know, you were placed back into a body. It's not like you could frolic through the fields and be like, "I'm a person who understands the meaning of the universe." Like, you were placed, and I think of Jill Bolte Taylor, you know, who, after her experience, still had to be like, "What, how do I, like, put this robot, you know, back into motion?" And,

• 49:39Mayim Bialik?

  you know, some of the challenges, you had a traumatic brain injury, right? Like, that's just like the real, like, medical diagnosis of, of what also happened to you. So, you know, what you describe is that you had this, like, beautiful awakening, you had spontaneous creativity, like, you started painting, and, you know, like, you had all of this, like, amazing, like, right brain, like, you know, explosion, right? And also, you had to be placed back into a body, that while it did, I think, have some really miraculous healing, right? Also, was still a limitation for you, at least in the short term.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it took, you know, the doctor said it would take a couple of years for the brain to fully heal. It was a little bit shorter than that, but it did take a while. And then they said it would be about four months-ish for my bones to heal up. And luckily, my legs were fine, so I didn't have any impact to my legs, and none of my leg bones were broken. So that was a relief. I could actually walk. I had a body cast on, I had a neck brace on. For a while, I had my arm, my left arm in a sling. So I was basically, like, working with one hand all the time. I couldn't drive for a while, as you could imagine. And it

• 51:02Speaker 03

  took, so I was in the hospital for two weeks, came home. But within, so, like, four, a little over four weeks from the day of the accident, I went in for a checkup for my, you know, they did another scan on my body, X-rays on my bones. And I remember the doctor came out, and so this was for, like, a little over a month, four weeks. The doctor came out and said, "Well, I don't know how this is happening, but we can take all your, your casts and braces off right now." I'm like, "What?" You said that I was supposed to be in those for 16 weeks or more. He said, "No, everything looks fine. I don't know how to

• 51:43Speaker 03

  explain it, but your, your bones are fine. You can, you don't need to have those on." Now, the funny thing was, I was so scared that I still used the brace for a while, because it did, didn't compute. But, but he said, "No, your scans are absolutely fine. Everything's healed up the way it needs to be. You can take it..." And I said, "Even my neck?" Because my neck, all the, all the ligaments and tendons were shattered, the neck bones were shattered. He said, "No, everything's fine. You don't need that." But the, but the, the long-term effect was, I had all of this stuff I had experienced, but I couldn't, I couldn't write

• 52:25Speaker 03

  very well, physically write. I could only write for about five minutes before. I was just too taxed. I couldn't write anything. I, I did start writing down my NDE as soon as I could, but it was like in five-minute increments. Like, I could write for as long as I could, and then I, I had to stop. I couldn't really read very well for a long time. That took a long time to come back. I, I worked really hard at it. And the worst part was the speech. I could not speak very well at all. I could speak, but the words would oftentimes come out jumbled. And, and I knew what I was trying to say, but it was

• 53:06Speaker 03

  just this mass of bizarre words. So that took about nine months to a year, maybe a little bit more, for that to kind of clear up.

• 53:17Mayim Bialik?

  Do you know what your brain injury, like, specifically was? Do you know where the bleed was? Do you know what the damage was?

• 53:22Speaker 03

  The bleed was in the back, back in the back. I don't know what, what artery it was, but it was in the back of the head. The damage that they talked about was really up here in the, the right prefrontal cortex, and also the, oh, excuse me, the left prefrontal cortex and the left temporal lobe.

• 53:40Mayim Bialik?

  Okay. I was gonna say, you're talking about, like, yeah, I mean, that's all, like, word salad, kind of, vernacular stuff, yeah.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  The other thing that was impacted that actually never came back, was my, my ability to do math, mathematics, and computer programming. I can't do that now to save my life. I have tried.

• 53:59Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, that's temporal lobe also. It's like all that integration and computation. That's, wow.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. And along with it, I hate to admit this, I used to love music, and I think it goes along with that left temporal lobe. So, I, I honestly don't like music anymore.

• 54:15Mayim Bialik?

  What does that mean? How do you not like music anymore?

• 54:19Speaker 03

  I can listen to it for about five minutes, 10 minutes, and then it feels like nails on a chalkboard. I get really anxious and irritable, and I have to turn it off.

• 54:28Mayim Bialik?

  Have you tried other kinds of music? Like, does classical music feel, like, is it all the same?

• 54:33Speaker 03

  That's the worst.

• 54:33Mayim Bialik?

  That's the worst?

• 54:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:35Mayim Bialik?

  How about bebop jazz?

• 54:37Speaker 03

  I haven't tried that. But the funky thing is that I used to love classical. I used to go down to the Chicago Symphony Orchestra when I was a kid. I loved the orchestra. I'd go down there every chance I could get. And I can't stand it now to save my life. I hate to admit that. I, I love the idea of, of orchestral music, but I can't handle it for longer than a few minutes. One of the things that I noticed after I came back was, it, it took me about a year to realize this. So I came back, and it was probably about a year later, I noticed that there was a, it sounds really, I know how crazy this, absolutely, as a scientist, I know how crazy this sounds, but this really opened

• 55:21Speaker 03

  up another world of exploration for me into physics. So, this is what really helped me dive into physics. So if I was gonna go back and get a degree again, I would absolutely go into physics, if I could do the math, but I can't. So, but I'm super interested in physics because of this. So when I came back, after about a year, I was on Facebook one day, just plinking around, you know, doing the doom-scrolling thing. And I noticed that an acquaintance of mine, a fellow artist in, in where I was living, had posted some pictures of her, she and her husband on vacation, that they had just gone on this

• 56:06Speaker 03

  vacation. And I, I did a double and triple take, because in the reality that I left when I had my NDE, I had just gone to his funeral. He had died, in my understanding, he had died before my NDE, probably about a year, a year before my accident. He had died while they were on vacation. He had a heart attack. She had to bring his body back to home and have the funeral and stuff. And I went to his funeral, and it, that whole incident, and I looked through all of her, back and scrolled through all of her

• 56:46Speaker 03

  posts, he had absolutely, in this reality that I came back into, had been alive this whole time. But I remember him, distinctly remember him, dying. Now, this also happened to another friend of mine, whose husband died before the NDE, and I found out he was alive. In, in my reality, you know, before I had my NDE, she, her husband died, but her son was alive. Her son was, you know, I think at that point in his twenties or so, and he was alive. And after the end, so that this, when I finally came into her

• 57:28Speaker 03

  sphere again, you know, that year after, and I saw her husband was alive, it was her son that had died.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  And I swear that took me months and months and months to just sit with like, how in the world could this possibly be?

• 57:45Speaker 03

  But it was, it's the, it's the whole idea of the timeline thing or the different, whatever, if you want to call them different simulations running at the same time, whatever, however you want to term it. So that led me into the realization that it isn't just one reality that we have. We've got multiple, especially with those two people that had died and were now alive. You can't, I mean, you just can't fake that. And, and unfortunately I have no way to prove it because in this reality, they're alive.

• 58:19Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, but also like, I'm just thinking about, you know, who you are as a person when you have the ability to see other timelines and other people may not. I mean, you know, many traditions have shamans and, you know, mystical leaders who see other timelines, right? And we sort of like dismiss that as folklore or like, oh, that's so quaint. And like we, you know, but we're in a materialist world, like we don't need to think like that. But I'm also, you know, there's, there's a little bit of also, you know, kind of like humor in this, right? In that you have the ability to bring life.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, it isn't, I mean, it isn't me, just in this reality, for whatever reason, those two people are now here because that was whatever, they wanted to experience that in this reality. I don't know how that works. And in fact, it was, if I ever have another NDE where I get to come back, that was one of the questions I wanted to ask is what's all this about? How come I was able to experience these people who are now alive, who had died before? But I've heard that same story or a similar story from, from a few other NDEers where they came back and pets that had died are now alive or other family members who had died are now alive,

• 59:41Speaker 03

  or the opposite, you know, somebody's dead that was alive when they had their NDE. So it's not completely uncommon, but that, that really, thinking about that led me into not just Doctor Strange and the multiverse of madness, but really how, how our reality is more like both shamanism and quantum physics than we really understand. And that's when I started to really lose my, my attraction to this is a material reality. It isn't, this is, this is not a material reality, as much as we like to think of it is.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  And I've got like a hundred other stories that back that up because I had some, so much stuff happen

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  after that NDE that just continued to make me question the nature of this reality as material. And it, and it just helped propel me, you know, to further and further study. I ended, I ended up learning how to be a shaman. And just because I wanted to understand how that worked, it led me into learning past life regression again, so I could understand more of how those lives, how other lives were and what we could learn from that. So it really helped me dive into studying more and learning more so I could expand even more. So it's not like I came back and all of a sudden was enlightened. It was just a doorway.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  It was an opening that was encouraging me to continue studying, continue developing, continue expanding.

• 1:01:20Mayim Bialik?

  It's amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Every person who has experienced an NDE that we have spoken to has some instance from their childhood, from when they were very young, of being called on to know what it is like to have to divide your conscious experience, to dissociate, you know, often it comes from a traumatic experience. And people have said that the skill of being able to dissociate, they think prepared them or was part of their training.

• 1:02:00Mayim Bialik?

  Many describe having other near death experiences or traumatic events. Looking back now at your life, what happened when you were a child, when you were four?

• 1:02:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was pretty traumatic. I had probably undiagnosed ADD when I was a kid because I was just hyperactive, like all the time, just going, going. So when I was four, my parents, we lived on a small family farm and my family was building an additional barn on the property. And, and there was scaffolding up on one end of the barn so that my, you know, my brothers and my dad could put the siding up. And there was, I don't remember what day of the week it was, but it was probably a weekend because my brothers and my dad were up there. I didn't realize that they had come down for lunch and I'm, you know, hyperactive Nancy. I ran out, I was going to try to find my brothers and my dad.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  I didn't realize that they had already come into the house for lunch. So I ran out there, climbed up the scaffolding and it was like 30 feet off the, off the ground. And my mom came out looking for me, my mom and my older sister came out looking for me. And my mom saw me just get, start to climb over the top of the scaffolding to get onto the planking. And she screamed. And I just, I froze, but I froze with my hands open. I just let go and fell off backwards onto the concrete. There was a concrete slab. I know, right?

• 1:03:42Speaker 03

  So I was four, four and a half and I hit the, my, my parents thought I was a dead girl. You know, that was, they assumed I was going to be dead because I, I didn't have any padding on. It was just a slab of concrete and I fell, hit my head on the, you know, on the concrete, hit my back.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  Luckily for me, I didn't have any internal injuries. I had a concussion, but I had no, you know, I had no broken bones. How the heck that happened? I can, I can maybe explain that a little bit, but at that time, nobody understood why I did, why I wasn't just a mess of broken bones. So they brought me into the hospital, but all, you know, I was, so I was out, I was unconscious for, I think my parents said about 45 minutes, which is a long time for a kid to be unconscious. And all I, I remember bits and pieces of that, but I think that from what I, when I talked about this

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  with, with like PMH Atwater and some other NDE researchers, it's very likely that that was an NDE. I just don't remember a lot of the details. I remember the love, I remember the light, I remember certain things about it. And, and I remember waking up in the emergency room, being angry that I was here as a four year old. And that's when I, that's when I became that, you know, philosophical little spiritual kid for a while. And so that was probably, you know, that was the first time that this kind of thing had happened. But I came back into this life and I, from the time I was a little kid, I was able to remote view.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  I could do all these different weird esoteric things

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  that I just assumed everybody could do. I was always remote viewing and I just assumed everybody could. But that I think came as a result of that first NDE.

• 1:05:48Mayim Bialik?

  Hashtag I was always remote viewing?

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  I could always do it.

• 1:05:55Jonathan Cohen?

  What were you remote viewing and what happened to that skill as you became an atheist materialist?

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  I still had it. I just assumed it was a natural ability that everybody had. I didn't think anything of it.

• 1:06:08Mayim Bialik?

  What were you viewing? What does a four year old need to view?

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  So yeah, when I was a kid, it was just like, I would go traveling. I would take, you know, it would be like sitting in my bedroom or whatever. I would, I would meditate and I didn't know that's what I was doing, but I was going out of body. And sometimes I would go visit my dad when he was at work, just to make sure he was okay. In fact, that's what a lot of it was, is I was just, you know, going to see people that I already knew and just, just assumed that everybody could do this. And as I got older, it became a little bit less frequent. But I remember doing some of this stuff when I was, even in college.

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  So when I was in my twenties, I remember going on a trip to Western Colorado with a boyfriend at the time. And I had a spontaneous, remote view out there and it freaked him out. It still does to this day. I still talk to him every once in a while. I'll send him this podcast when it comes out because it completely freaked him out. I was dozing in the passenger seat of the truck he was driving. And we were out in the, you know, the mesas of western Colorado. And out of what appeared to be a deep sleep, I yelled at him to stop driving. There's something back in that canyon that I need to see. And he's like, look at me like, what are you talking about?

• 1:07:30Speaker 03

  I said, there's a, at this time, I was really heavily into archaeology and Native American ruins. And just, you know, the archaeology of the Western United States and especially very ancient rock art. I love that stuff. I still do. And out of this deep sleep, I just yelled at him, we need to stop and pull back off in that canyon. And he's just like, what are you doing? What are you talking about? So he, he actually, you know, to his credit.

• 1:07:59Mayim Bialik?

  He's like, I thought it was cool to date archaeology girl. Now it's feeling a little weird.

• 1:08:04Speaker 03

  So we, I think, you know, maybe he was going to prove that I was, you know, a weirdo or whatever. But he humored me. He turned the truck around and we went back. It was a, from our perspective, we were going south. This canyon was kind of coming into the road, kind of going back behind us. So I could only see the entrance to it. I couldn't see back into it. So we drove back in there a little bit and I said, it's here, right here. And I got out and we looked for a while and I found this incredible panel of rock art. And I said, see, it's right there, exactly where I said it was going to be. And he just lost it. How did you know that was there? He said, I don't know. I just did. I just knew it was there.

• 1:08:47Speaker 03

  And today, I mean, I've even talked to him in the last year. He still talks about that incident.

• 1:08:52Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, no shit. I would talk about that forever. This girl in this car seat, remote viewed.

• 1:08:59Speaker 03

  When you let go of the notion that this is simply a material world, then a lot of this stuff starts to make sense. This is not a material world, as much as we like to convince ourselves that it is. It's not a material reality. And we are all connected, everyone and everything, to not just in this timeline, but in all times. So it may have been that I was able to connect with people, the energy of those people who were there 2,000 years ago, painting that panel of rock art. In my timeframe, it was 2,000 years ago, but time doesn't make any difference.

• 1:09:36Mayim Bialik?

  How about it's not even remote viewing? Maybe Nancy was connected in a different way with some aspect of existence, right? So I mean, like the, the sort of like, to freak your ex-boyfriend out even more. Maybe it wasn't just that you were remote viewing. You were able to travel into different timelines and perhaps were at the creation of that.

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it very well could be. And in fact, I suspect that's probably what, more like what it was. Because there is no, the way that we experience time here is just here. It's, it's, it's in a, this time that we experience going past, it's an illusion. All times, all things are all, there's no, there's no time on the other side. It doesn't pass the way we experience it. All times are available at any one moment. And so that's probably what I was doing was connecting into that. And I can still do that kind of thing today. I try not, I try to put, kind of tamp it down because some, you know, sometimes you don't want to necessarily

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  connect with something that happened in a specific place 200 years ago.

• 1:10:50Mayim Bialik?

  Okay, but I'll send you my list of the dozen things I would like you to look into right now. What's incredible about Awakenings from the Light, 12 Life Lessons from a Near Death Experience, is that it was published in 2015.

• 1:11:05Mayim Bialik?

  Like this literally, I mean, this kind of, it came out in your healing. And also want to mention Walking in the Light, A Daily Guidebook for Enhancing Peace, Love, and Connection, which is a more kind of practical reflections and readings. You know, Nancy, we've spoken to a lot of people who have died and come back. You are really, really an exceptional, exceptional human being. And I understand that we only get to interact with you in this material world. But when I die, I'd like to hang out with your spirit for sure. There's a lot there.

• 1:11:44Speaker 03

  I'll look you up.

• 1:11:47Mayim Bialik?

  Thank you so much. Where can people find out more about you besides just the books? Where can they find you in the universe?

• 1:11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can look at my website, ConsciousJourneys.net, and that'll get you some more information on me.

• 1:11:58Mayim Bialik?

  Also, if you can just give kind of a nod to your art. Do you, do you sell your art? Do you display it? I'm curious where that expression of you literally lives.

• 1:12:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I do actually sell it and it's, it's on my website, NancyRyan'sArt.com. So that's a different website. I do sell it in galleries here in Arizona and also in Colorado. And you can get to those from my site as well. And it's, and it really, I, I had painted off and on my whole life.

• 1:12:33Mayim Bialik?

  You're a very, very good artist. Wow.

• 1:12:37Speaker 03

  It really, it took hold after this.

• 1:12:42Mayim Bialik?

  Yeah, we're not just like, oh, Nancy paints little landscapes. Oh, you have a very special eye for rendering and detail and emotional content of animals in particular.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really for me, a way to express our unity, our oneness, our emotional connection to each other. And, and it's just another form of expression. It was originally, I did it originally because it was going to help my brain heal. And then I just realized it was a really important form of expression for me. And also a form of, again, putting that energy out into the world that I want it to be there. It's just in a different way.

• 1:13:25Mayim Bialik?

  Really, really unbelievable. We'll also link to that as well. Thank you so, so much.

• 1:13:31Speaker 03

  Well, thank you so much for having me on. It's been a pleasure.

• 1:13:37Mayim Bialik?

  A couple of things stuck with me that I, I didn't want to joke with her about.

• 1:13:42Jonathan Cohen?

  Remote viewing, that we didn't even get to that until the hour 50 mark? All of a sudden, we're talking about remote viewing?

• 1:13:50Mayim Bialik?

  It's not even remote viewing. She's literally time traveling.

• 1:13:53Jonathan Cohen?

  Well, I agree that all time is available at any moment, which is why you're like, what's going to happen? And I was like, well, let's go explore.

• 1:14:00Mayim Bialik?

  I'm just thinking, I can never be mean to you again.

• 1:14:02Jonathan Cohen?

  You're going to have a review and you're going to feel it.

• 1:14:06Jonathan Cohen?

  You're programming.

• 1:14:08Mayim Bialik?

  I just want to wipe this slate clean. I'm sorry.

• 1:14:11Jonathan Cohen?

  You're, you're programming and experienced with all those emotions. You don't want to have those emotions. You don't like the emotions you have now.

• 1:14:19Mayim Bialik?

  I feel terrible. Sometimes I'm irritable with the dog because he wants to be pet more.

• 1:14:24Jonathan Cohen?

  Look, he tried to cuddle me last night. I got very annoyed. He's so hot. I'm trying to sleep.

• 1:14:29Mayim Bialik?

  You just caused a ripple in the consciousness field. She had a guide slash teacher, you know, walk her through the next world. Vinnie Todd Tolman, his guide, it turned out, he was essentially, he was related to, he later found out.

• 1:14:45Jonathan Cohen?

  That was a, that was a twist.

• 1:14:47Mayim Bialik?

  If you could choose someone, anyone in history to be your guide in the afterlife, who would it be?

• 1:14:53Jonathan Cohen?

  Michael Jordan.

• 1:14:55Mayim Bialik?

  I thought you were going to say Jerry Garcia.

• 1:14:57Jonathan Cohen?

  Oh, oh, that would be interesting, actually.

• 1:15:00Mayim Bialik?

  I get Michael Jordan. You get Jerry Garcia.

• 1:15:04Jonathan Cohen?

  I mean, which version of Jerry do I get?

• 1:15:06Mayim Bialik?

  Wow, bro. Before he lost his finger.

• 1:15:10Jonathan Cohen?

  No, losing his finger made him who he is. I was just thinking like, how strung out is he? Is, is he still have his heroin problem?

• 1:15:19Mayim Bialik?

  No. Okay, sorry. I didn't know. I needed to revise that. Whoever your guide is, they're not strung out on heroin. They're the highest, most evolved version of themselves as they guide you through the afterlife.

• 1:15:33Jonathan Cohen?

  Yeah, Jerry would be fun. Yeah. I mean, I don't mean to disparage him. He had to get some rough times, but.

• 1:15:40Mayim Bialik?

  He was, well, he was a struggling person, yes.

• 1:15:43Jonathan Cohen?

  But yeah, he would be great.

• 1:15:48Jonathan Cohen?

  The lineage bearer of this person who taught Reiki, that she's the lineage bearer of the system of Reiki that I, that I learned.

• 1:15:59Jonathan Cohen?

  I went to see her one time and she lives in Idaho. And we're hanging out for many days and it turned out that she went and hung out with Jerry and the crew. And they were like into energy healing and all of those types of consciousness expanding activities. And she was like, oh yeah, they had, and then she like described the group that there was, it was, this is a long time ago that she told me. But so yeah, she hung out with Jerry and the crew. And she said that they all just hung out and spent all their time together and was like a big family. And she's like, they didn't get too serious about it, but they, they explored it. And then she said, yeah, so that's, that happened.

• 1:16:42Jonathan Cohen?

  That's not a good story. We should cut it. Your, your face is so bad to tell a story to.

• 1:16:49Mayim Bialik?

  Wow, your face is so bad to tell a story to. All right. Kind of feel like we're going to wrap it up here. The reason that my face was doing that is because all I was thinking is that if Valerie were sitting in that chair, if Alyssa were sitting in that chair, the first thing they would have said after Jerry Garcia would be, who would your guide be? You know what?

• 1:17:11Jonathan Cohen?

  You said.

• 1:17:12Mayim Bialik?

  I'm going to leave you hanging.

• 1:17:14Jonathan Cohen?

  You said Michael Jordan would be yours and Jerry would be mine. So you chose yours. This is such a setup, always being set up. Look at that in your life review.

• 1:17:29Jonathan Cohen?

  I love, hold on.

• 1:17:32Jonathan Cohen?

  I love this show.

• 1:17:34Mayim Bialik?

  And I'm, in my head, I'm like, am I expecting too much? Am I thinking too much? Should I date a woman? Like, is that the problem?

• 1:17:43Mayim Bialik?

  That's what my face was doing. And you're like, Jerry Garcia, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

• 1:17:48Jonathan Cohen?

  Maybe if your face hadn't been like that, we would have gotten back to your spirit guides.

• 1:17:55Jonathan Cohen?

  What I love is that we just had a very intense conversation about the nature of reality, about physics, about the nature of time, remote viewing, afterlife, guides, angels, the meaning of earth school, and what are we doing?

• 1:18:12Mayim Bialik?

  Thinking about if we should date women because they're emotionally available.

• 1:18:20Mayim Bialik?

  Please check us out on Substack. Make sure you're following us. Make sure you're subscribed. Thank you for being along for this ride from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time.