8 Hidden Signs Your Ego is Slowly Ruining Your Life | Ed Mylett

What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life you want isn't your circumstances, but the masks you've been wearing? In this mashup episode, I bring together four extraordinary conversations that all point to one life changing truth. You cannot experience real peace, fulfillment, or freedom until you stop trying to become someone else and start embracing who you truly are. So many of us spend our lives chasing success, approval, achievement, or perfection because we believe those things will finally make us feel worthy. But the truth is, no amount of money, recognition, or accomplishment can heal what we refuse to face inside ourselves. This episode is about dropping the ego, letting go of shame, and finally living from a place of authenticity. Tom Papa and I have an honest conversation about the difference between confidence and ego, and why humility is actually one of the greatest strengths a person can develop. Lewis Howes shares one of the most vulnerable stories ever told on this show, revealing how years of hiding pain behind achievement kept him from experiencing true freedom. His courage reminds us that our greatest breakthroughs often begin the moment we stop pretending we have it all together. These conversations are powerful reminders that vulnerability is not weakness. It is where real strength begins. You'll also hear an incredible conversation with Dr. G as we explore how shame becomes trapped in the body and silently shapes the way we think, react, and experience life. She explains why healing isn't about becoming someone new, but about reconnecting with who you've always been underneath the fear, the pain, and the conditioning. Then LeAnn Rimes opens up about navigating criticism, anxiety, and the pressure of living under the world's expectations while learning to define herself from the inside out instead of through other people's opinions. Her honesty is something every one of us can relate to, no matter where we are in life. I believe one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the freedom to stop performing and simply start living as your authentic self. The people who inspire us the most are rarely the ones who appear perfect. They are the ones who have the courage to be real. If you've been carrying shame, chasing approval, or believing that achievement will finally make you enough, this episode is your invitation to let that weight go. The world doesn't need another version of someone else. It needs the person you were created to be. Key Takeaways: Why confidence and ego are completely different and how humility creates lasting success Tom Papa's perspective on balancing ambition with authenticity Lewis Howes' powerful lesson on removing the masks that keep us disconnected from ourselves Why vulnerability is one of the greatest strengths a leader can possess Dr. G's insights on how shame becomes stored in the body and how healing begins How LeAnn Rimes learned to separate her identity from criticism and public opinion Why seeking approval from others will never replace believing in yourself The freedom that comes from embracing your authentic self instead of chasing perfection The greatest version of your life begins the moment you stop trying to earn your worth and start believing you already have it. My hope is that this episode gives you the courage to let go of the masks, trust who you really are, and step fully into the life you were created to live. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 AM to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 PM. And my third day, 6:00 PM to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

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• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stall, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Speaker 03

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 1:40Ed Mylett?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. I'm Ed Mylett, and I want to start out today's show by just reminding you of something about you because maybe no one's told you in a little while. You were born to do something great with your life. You're supposed to do something special, and you're gonna. I can promise you that you have all the potential in the world within you. And I know the rest of the world is probably telling you constantly to be average, to be ordinary. You know, there's different haters you have in your life. There's people who put you in your box. There's people who overlook you, that make you feel invisible. And it's important that you hear from me that that's not who you are. And by the way, you're not even who you've already been in your life.

• 2:25Ed Mylett?

  Your past does not equal your future. Your present does not equal your future. And I just want to remind you officially that you can do something great with your life and that you're destined to do something great with your life and that you were born for a reason. So important that you know that, that you hear that from me today and that you begin to believe it about yourself. Because if you don't believe that about yourself, there's no chance it's going to happen. You can't achieve something in your life that you don't believe strongly, certainly, that you can achieve. And I know that I find many of you today, some of you are listening to this today. You've got momentum in your life and things are going well. And you're looking for a key or you want to hear about a mistake you might make that you can miss because I warned you about it. And I'm going to give you all those things, you know, that on every program. But I know there's many of you that arrived here today, you're just not in the groove.

• 3:10Ed Mylett?

  Things aren't going great. Maybe you're in a down cycle in your life. Maybe there's some letdowns and some hurts that are happening right now. Maybe a little bit of, you know, a little melancholy, little anxiety, little fear, maybe all the way to some depression. And I just want to be that person who reminds you that you can do something special and that you're going to and that you have everything you need within you right now to make your life great and you can turn it around at any time you decide to. You know, what you allow is what's going to continue in your life. I put out a post about this several weeks ago. It's hard to accept this, but what's happening in our lives, we're allowing it to happen. And to some extent, we almost believe we deserve it because we produce in our life what we really believe we're worth, what we really believe we deserve. And it doesn't, it's hard to accept that because it seems coincidental.

• 3:54Ed Mylett?

  You know, that the wrong person in our life, or there was a business setback, or our car broke down, or, you know, our company went out of business, or whatever it might be. One of your clients just quit and changed their mind. And it seems coincidental. But you really, truly are getting out of your life what you believe you're worth, what you believe you deserve, and you're allowing it to happen. And I'm going to challenge you today to stop that. Stop allowing it and know that you deserve better. And so we're going to talk about something very ironic today that doesn't seem connected to it, but it's absolutely connected to it, and that's ego. See, the truth is ego is always false. Ego is always something that raises its head when we're insecure, when we're fearful. If you meet people that you think are egomaniacs, that are constantly bragging about themselves, these are the most insecure people that you know.

• 4:39Ed Mylett?

  They're the most fearful people that you know. They're the most scared and they're usually the least happy. And so, but I'm going to say something to you today. I want you to consider as I go through ego today. I know you think, wow, I'm so down on myself. How could I have an ego? It's actually the people that are down on themselves that actually have their ego materialize and show up more often than they think. And it's their ego that may actually be holding them back. You think, wow, how could someone with low self-esteem have a big ego? Well, trust me, they do. And so egos are not part of people with high self-esteem. The people in my life that are the most self-confident typically don't have big egos. And so I want to talk to you about that today. By the way, I'm covering this today like many things I cover because it's something I struggle with. My ego will step forward often in my life and it usually steps forward when I'm the most scared. It could be when I'm achieving.

• 5:24Ed Mylett?

  I'm starting to be pretty full of myself, right? But a lot of times when you're achieving and you're full of yourself, what's really happening in your mind is you're afraid you're going to fall down. You're afraid you're going to lose something. You're afraid there's going to be a setback. So often our friends, where we see their ego is when they're doing good. Or she thinks she looks so good, she's showing herself. Actually, she doesn't think she looks good and she's looking for validation from other people. You guys that have a friend, you know, he's really winning, he's making a lot of money. He's just not the same. He's got a big ego all of a sudden. You'd be surprised. That money he's making, that car he's driving now, he's so afraid he's going to lose it. He's so scared. He so believes his results have exceeded who he really is. He's so out over his skis that that ego shows up because he's afraid. When you see ego, know it usually means fear.

• 6:08Ed Mylett?

  And I know that sounds counterintuitive, but it's true. So we're going to talk about just recognizing our ego when it shows up. Because for me, either someone else points it out to me, close to me, or I see it in myself. If you have to wait around for other people to tell you, hey, your ego's out of control, it's too late usually. So we've got to be able to see our ego when it rears its head, be aware of it, and it loses its power over us. We can go back to being our real selves, which is point one today. You can't love yourself if you're not being yourself. You can't love yourself if you're not being yourself. And when our ego shows up, and in a minute, I'm going to show you some not so subtle ways ego show up. And you're going to see what I mean about maybe your ego is present. But remember this, when ego shows up, we're not ourselves. We're not connected to God. In other words, if you can let go of your ego, you can let God in.

• 6:53Ed Mylett?

  When you can let go of your ego, you can let your real confidence in. When you let go of your ego, you can go really become who you were born to be. And so oftentimes, this is so important you get. You may be losing right now because of your ego. Because of your ego, because you're not feeling good about yourself. And so let's get into some of the things that are indicative of big egos. The really obvious ones that I want you to look at when they rear their head sometimes for you or others. But then we're going to go to the not so obvious ones and then we'll talk about a solution. So here we go. Here are some of the signs that your ego is taking over in your life. Number one, defensiveness. It's not one you'd think of, is it? Defensiveness. You ever meet somebody who's very defensive, very reactive about whatever their situation is or whatever you're asking them about? Their ego is rearing its head.

• 7:37Ed Mylett?

  Sometimes we need to respond to criticism to get better. And when we're defensive about it, that's our ego rearing its head. So in yourself and in other people, do you see any defensiveness patterns for you? This is an ego issue. Number two thing that's ego issue is always trying to be right or prove what you're saying to be true in excess. If you ever meet somebody who's kind of going out of their way to prove what they're saying is true, this is usually their ego taking over because they know what they're saying may not be true. And this is their ego rearing its head. The second thing is the need to always win in a disagreement. The need to always win in a fight. This is an ego issue that somehow, if you concede to somebody that they've made a great point and maybe you need to make an adjustment or a change, that somehow you're weak. This is made out of a position of insecurity.

• 8:19Ed Mylett?

  So believe it or not, that's an ego move based out of the insecurities you have. You don't always have to win every disagreement. It's okay to say I'm sorry. It's okay to admit, admitting you're sorry, admitting you're wrong, being open to criticism and changing is a sign of confidence and strength. Lack of ego. Ego is when we're weak and insecure and we have to win. We have to prove what we're saying is true. We have to prove we're right. If you see this tendency in someone that you're in a relationship with, you're in business with, or in yourself, this is their ego rearing their head and they're never going to fulfill their full potential. I know many of you right now, that's so and so at work. That's my spouse. That's my girlfriend. That's my boyfriend. That's my dad. That's my mom. And that's great that you see it in other people, but is it you? Just ask yourself honestly, is it you?

• 9:04Ed Mylett?

  It's easy to see these egos in other people. But the real winners in life, the real achievers are so self-aware, they see these things in themselves. Number three ego issue, pride and boasting, constantly bragging about themselves, boasting about their achievements, boasting about what they have going, being very prideful in their behavior. The Bible talks often about, you know, the maladies of having pride in our life. But if you're bragging, if you're boastful, if you're prideful all the time, this is someone with a big ego. That's one of the more obvious ones. We go, I know that. But do you see that in someone you love? Do you see that in someone in business? Do you see prideful and boasting in yourself? The next one's a not so obvious one, revenge. Do you seek revenge against people? Do you want to get back at somebody? Do you know people who are constantly getting back at somebody? Revenge is ego every single time. Next, possessiveness.

• 9:49Ed Mylett?

  Possessiveness is an ego thing. We don't own people and our desire to control people, control situations, to possess people almost is an ego issue. And when you see this in other people in your life, someone's trying to be possessive of you in your business or in your personal relationships, know this is an ego out of control happening and they better get that ego in check or it's going to make your life miserable being in a relationship with them. And if you have this issue, you're going to make people around you miserable trying to possess them as well. Be honest. Does this fit you or someone you love or no? Talking poorly or gossiping about other people, number one sign of insecurity, and that's ego. You think, wow, he's right. Insecurity and lack of confidence is actually ego. And it is. And so people who gossip, who talk about others,

• 10:32Ed Mylett?

  try to go an entire day of your life without talking about another person in a negative way. Actually, try to go about an entire day of your life without talking about another person. Just try to not talk about another person to other people for an entire day. And it'll begin to reveal to you how often maybe even you do it. And I say this because it's true of me. I always say I'm positive. I never talk bad about people. But that's not true. I have moments of weakness, especially when I'm with other people who sort of do that. I start to behave more like them, and maybe you do too. When you're around gossipers, do you gossip or do you stay above it? This is a sign of insecurity. It's a sign of weakness. Do you see this in you? Be honest, where you talk about other people in the presence of other people? Or do you know somebody who's like this? Either you or them have an ego issue.

• 11:16Ed Mylett?

  Next is what I call the gym weirdos. You ever been at the gym and you see that woman or that guy constantly flexing in the mirror all the time? Like that just, it makes you almost uncomfortable, doesn't it? Or maybe you have a friend who's constantly looking in the mirror, constantly checking their phone, constantly posting only filtered pictures on social media, right? They're just constantly obsessed with what they're looking at themselves. These are out of control ego people, right? So ask yourself a question. Is that you or somebody that you care about? Bullying. Bullying is an ego issue. Only insecure and weak people bully people. When I say bully, I'm not just talking about children in school. I'm talking about at work. You may have a boss that's a bully. You may have somebody in your department that's a bully. You may have a leader that's a bully, that their only way to get you to move and perform is bullying.

• 11:58Ed Mylett?

  This may surprise you, but as a child, I was bullied regularly because I was undersized and they'd call me Eddie Spaghetti and I just didn't have confidence. Bullies figure out who the unconfident kids are, don't they? And so I got picked on a lot. Not only did I not have any confidence, I was insecure, I was also small. So I was a great target for bullies. But honestly, when I became a businessman, I think I became a bit of a bully when I was young. Now, this was 20 years ago. But my style of leadership was intensity, was almost beating people up into performing rather than elevating them with recognition. And so bullying can be easily sloughed off, but I want you to look at your style in business and in your family. Do you get people to elevate because you recognize, praise, and believe in them? Which is what I think I'm great at now in my life.

• 12:43Ed Mylett?

  Because I recognize the pain it caused other people when I was in my early twenties, when I was more of a bully, push people type leader. You'll get far more out of your life and other people by pulling them with you than by pushing them. So ask yourself this of yourself as a leader in business, in your work, in your family, or the people around you. This is an ego issue. Now, let's go through some of the less obvious ego issues that you may be suffering from or people you know. Number one, seeking outside approval and reward. The addiction to other people's approval is an ego issue on your part. You have an out of control ego if you're seeking the approval of other people. Remember what I said to you earlier? You can't love yourself if you're not being yourself and you can't be yourself if you don't believe in yourself. Remember that again. Let me say it to you again. You must hear this, okay?

• 13:24Ed Mylett?

  You can't love yourself if you're not being yourself and you can't be yourself if you don't believe in yourself. And so when you're looking at the addiction of other people's approval and seeking that all the time, that's the symptom. The disease is you're suffering from lack of personal belief. Not being able to be alone. People are afraid of being lonely usually have an ego issue. They're afraid to be alone. They don't like to be in their own company, in own presence. Ask yourself, are you comfortable in your own presence, in your own company? Again, that'll indicate to you whether you love yourself. Another ego issue is that you only hang around people who agree with you. You only hang around people who believe exactly politically what you believe, exactly what you believe religiously, exactly what you believe about society. You know, a rich life, a confident person is willing to associate with people who have different opinions and express them.

• 14:09Ed Mylett?

  An unconfident person can only surround themselves with people who think exactly like them. And that's a formula for a really boring life. It's a formula for no growth. There's no one to challenge you. There's no one to stretch you. There's no one to make you think differently. There's no one to help you express your opinions. One of the great things about having a different opinion than a friend is you get to express that. And maybe it reinforces your strength. Maybe they persuade you. Next level is really subtle, is you're offended by criticism. If you're offended by people's criticism, you really have an ego issue. You need to look at that or the people around you that do. I'm gonna give you two more that are ego issues that you need to look at. Are you stuck in the past? Are you constantly telling old stories from your past? Because that's an ego issue. That's a lack of self-esteem issue. Nobody wants to hear about your past. No one wants to know where you played quarterback

• 14:51Ed Mylett?

  or what you got in college, or what promotion you once had, or when you were once on TV. No one wants to know about the past or what you once did anywhere in your life. They want to know where you're going and what you're doing. If you're constantly reciting the past, that means you're not living in the present. And this is an ego issue and it's a formula for not winning. The next thing is insecurity and self-doubt. That's an obvious one. But believe it or not, people who are insecure and have self-doubt have an out of control ego. Because they lead with ego. They lead with this false self. Ego is false self. So they lead with the false self because they're so insecure and they've got so much self-doubt. Constantly apologizing. Believe it or not, if you're someone who chronically apologizes, you have somebody in your life who's constantly apologizing, but then they make the same mistake all the time.

• 15:34Ed Mylett?

  This is someone with an ego, because you'd rather take the easy way out and apologize than fix your behavior. And so these are people that I don't want in my life. You keep apologizing for the same thing over and over again. Stop doing it. You don't need to apologize. The big E. Worrying about what everybody thinks about you. If you're constantly worried about what everybody thinks about you, you have an out of control ego. That sounds crazy. What do you mean? If I had a big ego, I wouldn't care what everybody thought. No, exactly the opposite. People with out of control egos are so insecure, they're constantly obsessed with what people think about them. People with no ego love themselves, as we've talked about. People with the smallest ego are connected to God and they love themselves because they know they come from God, in my opinion. And so because that's the case, you don't need the approval of other people

• 16:18Ed Mylett?

  because you've got God's approval, you've got the universe's approval, and you've got your approval. And once you have that, you don't need other people's approval. These are all ego issues that impact our lives. So those are all different issues with the ego, right? Some of them are very obvious, some of them are not so obvious. But let's just talk about you and finishing today. Wouldn't the ultimate version of you not brag, not boast, not tell stories about the past, not worry about what other people thought about you, right? Take criticism very well. All the things that we've discussed today. The ultimate version of you would have none of those things, wouldn't he or she? And that would be the removal of your ego. I believe the way we remove our ego is we love ourselves and we believe in ourselves. And that way, we know ourselves. And so what I want to challenge you to do today is just to start to give yourself a little bit more credit.

• 17:03Ed Mylett?

  And just know, when you see these symptoms arising in your life, these are indications your ego's out of control. And check yourself when it happens. If you have people in your life who embody these symptoms, it's often easy to see the ego things that really repel us in our life. But the fact of the matter is, for me, every single time in my life when my ego gets the better of me, I have a setback. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1 injections.

• 17:46Ed Mylett?

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• 18:32Ed Mylett?

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• 19:17Ed Mylett?

  That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com.

• 19:26Ed Mylett?

  So listen to me, it's very dangerous to lead with your ego because I'm telling you you're getting ready for a setback in your life. Where do my setbacks come from in my life? I'm gonna tell you where I have setbacks. People ask me, "How do I get out of my slump? How do I break the habit that I'm in?" And I'm gonna tell you what it is for me, because it's connected to ego. For me, I started to think I had it so figured out when things were going good, that I stopped working on myself. I stopped reading the books, I stopped listening to the podcasts, I stopped improving myself. And when you do that stuff, the poor result doesn't show up as you're doing it. The poor result shows up 90 to 120 days later. So that's the problem. The failure or the setback is delayed by like 90 to 120 days in everything we do. So in business, if you're really successful right now and you got to a certain point,

• 20:08Ed Mylett?

  but you stopped the very activities that got you there, you don't fail the next day. 90 to 120 days from now, you pay the price in your life, don't you? You didn't do the work you were supposed to do, and so three, four months later, all of a sudden, business is down again. So the negative result always trails the negative behavior by about three to four months. For me, my happiness level, or my confidence level, I always, I got it going and then I stopped reading books, I stopped listening to the right stuff, I stopped the right associations. It didn't happen immediately, but 90 to 120 days later, now my ego's out of control again. And so where my ego rears its head for me, is I begin to think I got it figured out. I think I got it going. I believe my own press clippings, and I stopped doing the things that are gonna get me to the next level, and three to four months later, I go, "Man, I'm in a slump.

• 20:52Ed Mylett?

  Man, there's a setback right now. What the heck happened?" What happened, dummy Ed Mylett, is 90 to 120 days ago, you stopped doing the things required to win. And so the truth is, where you are right now, I love you, brother or sister, I want you to win. I opened up today by telling you, you're supposed to do something great with your life. But in order for that to happen, you have to do the great things now, because the positive results will trail by six months to a year. So negatives come get us 90 to 120 days, but positives don't end up showing up sometimes for six months to a year or longer. It's kinda like when you first start to eat well, you might get a little bit improvement, then it levels off, and you're like, "Man, I'm eating well, I'm working out, why isn't my body changing?" Because the positive result is six months to a year away. That's why.

• 21:36Ed Mylett?

  But if you stop eating well, if you stop working out, you're 60 to 90, 120 days, your body's bad again. Same with our lives. If we're doing something great with our life, it's gonna take us six months to a year to see the positive result. And so don't let your ego get in the way of saying, "Man, I'm doing all this stuff and it's not working." There's a delayed gratification coming. The same time, if you are winning right now, don't stop doing the things that got you where you are, because you're only 90 to 120 days away from a setback. This is how the ego gets us. And so I wanna remind you in conclusion, you're supposed to do something great with your life, you're supposed to contribute, you're supposed to win, but that starts with today, loving yourself, which is believing in yourself, okay?

• 22:19Ed Mylett?

  You can't be yourself if you don't love yourself, and you can't love yourself if you don't believe in yourself. And so today, start to love yourself again. I'm not talking about self-love, that's not what I'm talking about. You know, some thought, "I love me, I love me," you know, Stuart Smalley, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, gosh darn it, people like me." That's gonna get you nowhere. Do things that are incongruence with who you really are. Do things that are the removal of your ego. You know what says you have no ego? You're willing to do the work every single day on yourself and in your business, even though there's no result. That shows no ego. Ego is, "Why would I keep doing it? There's no result." Or ego is, "I got it going, I don't need to do it anymore." You wanna know you don't have an ego? You wanna know you got your act together? You're doing the work right now to show how much you love yourself, how much you believe

• 23:04Ed Mylett?

  in yourself, knowing the delayed gratification's coming six months to a year, or maybe longer from now. I'm here to challenge you to start living like you love yourself, living like you believe in yourself. Because you can't love yourself if you're not being yourself. And the real self, the real you, takes all the steps to care for you, all the steps to improve you, all the steps to grow you. So you know you love you, you know you believe in you, when you begin treating you like that. And treating you like that means you don't gossip about other people. You're not addicted to what other people think about you, right? You're not some victim, you know better than that. You're not someone who needs everybody else's permission to win. You're not waiting around for results and not doing the work. You don't stop doing the things that help you win.

• 23:47Ed Mylett?

  So today, start doing the things that improve you, confidence-wise, listening to people like me, following me on social media, listening to the right podcasts, reading the right books, in your business, doing the things you know you're supposed to do. Let me tell you what I know about you and your business. You're not confused about what you need to do. If you're a schoolteacher, or you're an entrepreneur, if you're a mom or a dad, if you're a pastor, if you're a young person who's studying and wants to get into college, you're not confused by what you need to do. There's no confusion on what you need to do. There's only the decision of whether you're willing to do it, and to do it consistently, and to do it even when the results don't show up. Even when the results aren't there, are you willing to do it? And if you are making progress, you are getting good grades, you are leading your church, you are moving your business forward, you are flourishing at work, do you have enough

• 24:32Ed Mylett?

  lack of ego to continue to do the work required to get to the next level? That's the separator. Very short intermission here, folks, I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. Welcome back to the show, everybody. The gentleman sitting across from me, I think is one of the most talented comedians of all time. He is, I was telling him off-camera, he's just a tremendous storyteller. And I love his style. And he's been doing comedy for over 20 years. One thing about him that's always stood out to me, his inherent goodness as a person, I think shines through in his work. Like, you inherently know when you watch him, this is a good man.

• 25:14Ed Mylett?

  And that storytelling has transitioned now into three books. And his third book's out right now, it's called, "We're All in This Together, So Make Some Room." And there's so many great life lessons, as you laugh your ass off in this book, but tons of great life lessons in the book, that we're gonna uncover today. Tom Papa, welcome to the show.

• 25:32Tom Papa?

  Thanks for having me. It's nice to be here, finally.

• 25:35Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, finally. I think there's a way of like, really feeling blessed, and that you've got some gifts yourself, and not letting it be like a big ego thing. If you, I had a friend of mine one time, and I was really worrying a lot, he goes, "Man, you got a huge ego." And I went, "No one thinks I have a huge..." That's not true at all. He goes, "No, no, no, you're the center of the universe, man, and like, your problems are way more important than everybody else's." Kinda to your point that you just said.

• 25:58Tom Papa?

  Was he saying it in a derisive way?

• 26:00Ed Mylett?

  He was saying it like, "Wake up."

• 26:02Tom Papa?

  Oh, really?

• 26:03Ed Mylett?

  You know, like, "Wake up." Like, "Hey dude, like, yeah, you're not that big of a deal, and it's gonna be okay, and other people have way bigger problems than you do, and like, maybe start..." I have this phrase I use that I got from him, and he's not even, he's just a friend, he's like, he goes, "Whenever you feel helpless, get helpful. Help some other people." And I've like, repeated that like, hundreds of times. People listen to my work, like, "Now, that's profound." I'm like, "I got it from my buddy who told me I had a big ego."

• 26:26Tom Papa?

  It's a good one.

• 26:27Ed Mylett?

  That's where it came from, but it's really true.

• 26:28Tom Papa?

  But, Lincoln, can I ask you a question?

• 26:29Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 26:32Tom Papa?

  Without a little bit of that ego, do you think you would've been as successful as you are?

• 26:38Ed Mylett?

  No, meaning...

• 26:39Tom Papa?

  Like, 'cause you have to...

• 26:41Ed Mylett?

  Depends on what you define as success. Would I have made the money I made and reached the...

• 26:44Tom Papa?

  Would you have made the money and felt that you've achieved something, which I think is very important? I think it gives you, I think, achievement and success in like, you know, that you're helping other people, and people are buying your books, and people are listening to your show. It's much easier to walk through the day, and slap your hands and say, "It's gonna be a great day," when you have some things under the belt.

• 27:07Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, let me tell you what I did.

• 27:09Tom Papa?

  And you kinda need, like...

• 27:10Ed Mylett?

  You do. You gotta have a lot of confidence, a lot of belief.

• 27:13Tom Papa?

  And you gotta be hungry, and you have to think.

• 27:15Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I think confidence and ego are different, and I'll tell you what happened to me when I was young, since you asked, everyone can listen in. I met Wayne Dyer really young. Do you remember Wayne Dyer? He was a, like, a thought leader, kinda like a Tony Robbins guy back in the day. Maybe a little new-agey kinda back in the day, but really profound guy.

• 27:31Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 27:32Ed Mylett?

  Anyway, I met him, and we got to know one another very well, became lifelong friends, and he said, "Ed, I think you're gonna change the world," you know, and gave me all this belief. And he goes, "Do me a favor, and like, never attach all of your confidence to like, your abilities, because you'll always be chasing that tail. It'll never be enough, you'll never be good enough." And he goes, "Attach your confidence to your intentions." Meaning, he goes, "Ed, you're a real good man. Now, God gave you some good voice and pretty good brain, and you're a hard worker, but attach your confidence to your intentions." And so like, even before I speak, or even meeting you today, or a business meeting I go into, my confidence booms, but it's like, "I'm a good guy, and I wanna do well." My intention, even probably before you walk on stage, it's like, I don't know that you

• 28:16Ed Mylett?

  go, "I'm the funniest dude in the world," but I bet you there's a part where it's like, "I intend to make these people laugh."

• 28:21Tom Papa?

  Yeah, and you need to have a little bit of, "I'm the funniest guy in the world," because you need to, you need to approach things like, "I can do this."

• 28:28Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 28:29Tom Papa?

  That's the thing. It's not like I'm better than everybody, but "I can do this."

• 28:31Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I think that's me. And also, for me, there's faith involved, so I'm like, kinda whatever I'm good at, came from God, although I've worked very hard at it.

• 28:39Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 28:40Ed Mylett?

  So, but I think all my life, like anybody, I probably struggled with ego slash confidence slash humility, and where's that blend? My favorite people in my life, nuance, humility, and confidence, they toe that line very well.

• 28:53Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 28:54Ed Mylett?

  Because my friends that are super confident with no humility, they make you sick.

• 28:56Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 28:57Ed Mylett?

  And they wear you out, and they eventually burn out or mess up.

• 29:00Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 29:01Ed Mylett?

  My friends with tons of humility and no confidence, they drain you.

• 29:05Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 29:06Ed Mylett?

  They're always down, they're always complaining, you're always picking them up. So it's those people kinda that toe the line, at least to me, that seem to be the people I want around me.

• 29:13Tom Papa?

  Yeah, you gotta harness it. It's like, you gotta, like, if you wanna, if you wanna be as good as you possibly can at whatever you do, you gotta... You gotta believe in yourself.

• 29:26Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 29:26Tom Papa?

  And that doesn't mean that you believe in yourself to the detriment of all, everybody you run into. You know what I mean?

• 29:32Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 29:33Tom Papa?

  You know, like just in the comedy clubs, like there would be guys who would roll in and cut everybody else on the lineup, you know, be ten comedians waiting to go on. And they walk in like, I'm the guy. And then like, cut everybody and like do an hour and then everybody's like, oh, it's with this guy and you know.

• 29:50Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 29:51Tom Papa?

  And some people would do it before they've earned it, like some guys, you're like, no doubt. You could do whatever you want to do. We're all happy you're here. And other guys like just got some success and they start throwing that weight around. And you're like, ugh, that's, that's gross. And because they didn't have what you're saying, like they, they lost the humility part of it.

• 30:08Ed Mylett?

  Humility and some self-awareness, don't you think too? Like just a little self-awareness. Jay Leno on your show that I was just listening to on the 4th of July. I didn't agree with the way he said it, but I know what he meant. On your show, he goes, I think the key to success is low self-esteem.

• 30:20Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Ed Mylett?

  And then I went, that's totally backwards. But then he kind of elaborated, he goes, meaning I don't always think I'm the funniest guy in the room. I wanted the best lighting guy, the best producer. I surrounded myself with good people. I think what he really meant is the key is humility.

• 30:33Tom Papa?

  Yeah, I think that's, I think that's true.

• 30:36Ed Mylett?

  But I thought it was a really good point.

• 30:37Tom Papa?

  It is a good point. It's all a balance, isn't it? Cause like when you say the low self-esteem thing, like I've been doing this thirty years. And I'm on tour now and I'm moving in, I have a new act, so I'm digging deeper and trying to come up with it and it's actually scary.

• 30:57Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 30:57Tom Papa?

  I've been doing it thirty years. I have a thousand people in the audience waiting with their tickets to see what's gonna happen tonight. Like, and, but they don't know that I'm like, ah.

• 31:08Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 31:08Tom Papa?

  You know what I mean? And so like, I don't know if low self-esteem is the right word, but it's nice to feel vulnerable. It makes you, it makes you stay, uh, working hard at, at it. You know what I mean? Like if I, if I just thought, oh, whatever I say is gonna be great, I probably would start to deteriorate.

• 31:28Ed Mylett?

  I know exactly what you mean, cause I'm speaking and I just finished kind of a tour of my book and I had a talk that I became very comfortable with giving. And it worked and everyone liked it, or I think most people liked it.

• 31:38Tom Papa?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Ed Mylett?

  And I don't wanna keep doing it. I wanna do something new. That was a great conversation. And if you wanna hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. All right, welcome back to Max Out with Ed Mylett. And I am really excited about today. Before we get going, I wanna remind you all, we do this for free. And so all I ask from you is that you rank and review the podcast there on iTunes. Do me that favor, please. My guest today, I was thinking about it coming over here today. I think he's the most, I think he's the Dos Equis man of personal development.

• 32:12Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 32:12Ed Mylett?

  I do. He's the most interesting man in personal development. And he's, I did this survey with you all and I asked you, who were the guests that you wanted on my program? And Louis's name kept consistently coming up, so I've got him here for you today. Louis, thank you for being here, brother.

• 32:25Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it.

• 32:25Ed Mylett?

  So good to have you here. So Louis, as many of you know, has a School of Greatness podcast, which is a top one hundred podcast in the world. He's written a couple of different bestselling books, including The School of Greatness, but the one I wanna talk about today, if we can, is The Mask of Masculinity. It was such a great read, brother. It's, I've never read anything like it before.

• 32:45Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 32:45Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, it was so good. So one of the masks that Louis talks about in the book is men, you know, with their masculinity, wearing the masks of different types of people. Whether it's the material mask, or the athlete mask, or the stoic mask. And it's such a fascinating read. It is for men, but to be candid with you, I think it's a fascinating read for women to understand their men.

• 33:04Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. So many women are telling me that they finally understand their husband, why their father never showed them the affection, why their sons don't look them in the eyes. It's like trying to understand men a little bit better too.

• 33:14Ed Mylett?

  It's brilliant, man. And, and so there's this story in there that stuck out to me. And I could picture you as a little guy when this happened, but you talk about, and it's interesting. It could be a non-event for some people, but it was for this dodgeball game.

• 33:24Lewis Howes?

  It's defining, man.

• 33:25Ed Mylett?

  It was because you ended up being, remember, this guy ends up going on to become a college and professional athlete, right? And if you draw back all the way where that mask started, it started in a damn dodgeball game.

• 33:35Lewis Howes?

  Yes. In elementary, in elementary school, um, you know, I was still trying to find my way and just have a couple of friends, just try to fit in. And one day, the teacher of our class, there's probably thirty kids in the class, about fifty men, fifty percent men and, and boys, uh, boys and girls. They say, okay, during recess, we're going to play a team dodgeball game and we're gonna split it up into two teams.

• 33:58Ed Mylett?

  So everybody's had that game at school, right?

• 34:00Lewis Howes?

  Right, yeah. Everyone's played dodgeball or something, right? And he said, okay, I'm, I'm picking you two boys as the captains. Pick one at a time. I don't think it was his intention to do this. He was just like, yeah, you guys split up the teams.

• 34:11Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 34:12Lewis Howes?

  So we're all waiting to be like called out, right?

• 34:15Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Lewis Howes?

  And these two popular kids, one at a time, start picking each boy. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm one of the taller kids. I feel like I'm pretty athletic already. They've gotta pick me as one of the first people. So I'm standing up there in front, like waiting to be called. And they pick all the boys one by one until it's me and the last boy. And this boy like, he was not athletic at all, essentially. I'll keep it at that. And they pick him. And so now I'm the last boy to be picked. However, as you know in the story, um, they pick a girl next. And then, and then they pick another girl, another girl, until it's me and the last girl. And I'm like, there's no way I'm gonna be like, they're gonna pick this girl before me. This girl is like zero athletic ability, right? She can't even walk.

• 34:57Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 34:58Lewis Howes?

  And they pick her. And then I'm not even picked, I'm just by default.

• 35:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, no.

• 35:02Lewis Howes?

  You know, just go on the next team. They didn't even pick me as like, oh, what's going on here?

• 35:06Ed Mylett?

  Are you raging or are you sad?

• 35:08Lewis Howes?

  I am raging. I'm already a kid that feels neglected, that feels like the youngest who doesn't get any attention. You know, I didn't have any friends. So at this point, I said, I'm going to destroy everyone on this team. Like, give me the ball. I'm just like slamming it in people's faces.

• 35:22Ed Mylett?

  You're already a big dude.

• 35:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. And I'm just like destroying people. And I go, and never again will I be picked last. You can see it in me right now.

• 35:29Ed Mylett?

  I can see it in your physiology.

• 35:30Lewis Howes?

  Never again will I ever get picked last in anything, right? And that's what I told myself. And I just become a training machine. Every day after school, I would go to the playground, go to the gym, go play basketball and train until my mom would have to call me in at like nine o'clock and say, you gotta come home.

• 35:48Ed Mylett?

  And you think that game has something to do with you end up being a professional athlete?

• 35:52Lewis Howes?

  I think it, I think it was one of the triggers of just like always feeling like I was abused, left behind, not good enough. It was just one of those triggers.

• 36:02Ed Mylett?

  Your face changed even when you just said that. It's interesting.

• 36:04Lewis Howes?

  It's just like, it's one of those moments that I can remember. And there was many moments like that.

• 36:10Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 36:11Lewis Howes?

  But that was a moment where I was like, okay, I just never wanna feel this again.

• 36:15Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, it literally defined part of your whole identity, right? It was one of these masks, you're like, I wear this one well.

• 36:19Lewis Howes?

  And so I put, yeah, and so I put the athlete mask on and I said, never again am I gonna lose. And I also needed to be right, you know, for me, like being wrong was losing. And so I was like, I need to win at all costs. I need to be right at all costs. And anytime I lost in a game, I was the worst loser. Because my self-worth and my value was tied to winning or losing. And even when I won, sometimes I wouldn't be happy because I would beat myself up about how I could have been better.

• 36:49Ed Mylett?

  Amazing.

• 36:49Lewis Howes?

  So I couldn't appreciate the journey.

• 36:52Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 36:52Lewis Howes?

  We just always gotta get better, gotta get to the goal, gotta get to the goal.

• 36:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. Everybody that's listening, including me, frankly, a lot of us relate to that.

• 36:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:00Ed Mylett?

  And we're gonna talk about some solutions that too, or those of you that are watching this, you certainly know someone like us.

• 37:04Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 37:06Ed Mylett?

  And it's, uh, it's interesting because you have that event. You have a brother that goes to prison. I didn't know, but you go to a boarding school when you were thirteen. You had a, it's amazing that you end up becoming one of the most sought after people on the planet to improve people's lives. And yet you have these events that you didn't allow eventually to define who you were. There's a significant one though, as you know.

• 37:26Lewis Howes?

  Yep.

• 37:27Ed Mylett?

  I think it's the genesis of the book, probably.

• 37:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:30Ed Mylett?

  But if you don't mind taking them through this, you had some sexual abuse happen to you and you were a very young boy. I mean, I mean, very young. So you had the thirteen, you have the brother go to prison, you have the dodgeball game, but the, the biggie.

• 37:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. When I was five, yeah, I was, here's the thing. When I was five, I was raped by a man that I didn't know. And, and for twenty-five years, no one knew about it.

• 37:52Ed Mylett?

  Is it, I wanna ask you this, cause I've not heard you answer this. Are you telling me literally you didn't tell anybody?

• 37:56Lewis Howes?

  I didn't tell anyone. I told a socio, uh, a professor my freshman year in college, I said, you know, something happened to me, but I didn't tell him what.

• 38:05Ed Mylett?

  Wow. So mom and dad definitely did.

• 38:07Lewis Howes?

  Parents didn't know, friends didn't know. I never told anyone exactly what happened. I was too afraid to let people know. And so for 25 years, I'm 34 now, when I was 30, I went through a bunch of different challenges in my life with intimate relationship I was in, a business partnership I was in. And just everything looked good on the outside. You know, people were like, man, you're crushing it, Louis. But I was suffering on the inside and I didn't know why.

• 38:33Ed Mylett?

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• 39:18Ed Mylett?

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• 40:01Ed Mylett?

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• 40:33Lewis Howes?

  And I don't know if you've ever felt that when your business took off or you're like, why am I not fulfilled?

• 40:37Ed Mylett?

  I absolutely do. Yes.

• 40:39Lewis Howes?

  You've felt that before?

• 40:40Ed Mylett?

  Of course.

• 40:40Lewis Howes?

  And for me, I was taking all of this, I was just angry, constantly angry. I was doing great in my business, but angry because I couldn't figure out how to cope and understand my emotions.

• 40:55Lewis Howes?

  So I took all this frustration out on the basketball court. Every day I would go play basketball a few blocks away. And every day it was like I was looking for a fight. You know, in college when you're like, you're just like, I hope someone looks at me.

• 41:08Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, slap you.

• 41:09Lewis Howes?

  Running to me the wrong way, like I'm going to beat you up. I was just looking for a fight.

• 41:15Lewis Howes?

  And I think that was the only way I knew how to express myself was through physical aggression.

• 41:20Ed Mylett?

  So many people are relating to this right now.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  That was my life. Football was my ability to just destroy people in a legal way without getting in trouble. I could get it out every single day. So when you don't have that anymore, it's like, I need to go play basketball and like rough it out. Cause I didn't know how to cope with my emotions or what I was going through. I just didn't have the skills or the tools. So every day I would go out and play basketball and I just constantly, someone would yap at me. And it was like, I had to step to them like I was the alpha dog and like shove them and scream at them and just show them that they weren't going to mess with me.

• 41:50Ed Mylett?

  It's amazing, just to tell you, because being in your presence and being around.

• 41:53Lewis Howes?

  I'm not that way.

• 41:54Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, and we're mutual friends and no one would describe it this way now.

• 41:57Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. And you know, I'm typically, I was typically not that way either. Like I'm always a very loving, like happy person.

• 42:04Ed Mylett?

  But there's a trigger thing.

• 42:05Lewis Howes?

  There's a trigger. Like if you crossed the trigger, it was like you were going to go down. Or I was going to go down or something. And so every day it was like waiting for someone to hit me and they wouldn't hit me. I would like push at them, I would scream back at them. I'd be like, don't talk shit to me, don't do this, don't like whatever. To a no stakes pickup basketball game in West Hollywood. It's not like anything's on the line. Yeah, it's like, and one day after a few months of this, I'm guarding a guy who's much bigger than me, older than me. And we're getting in a heated battle back and forth. He's fouling me hard, I'm fouling him hard, like, but it's kind of like this, this what you do in the street ball, right? You're kind of fouling each other hard, but it's, it's all good. It's fair game. He's calling it, I'm calling it.

• 42:49Lewis Howes?

  It gets down to the last point, game point for both of us, both teams. He gets a ball down, getting ready to shoot a layup. I, I foul him hard. You know, I grab his arm down so we can't score because the game would be over. I guess it was enough, was enough for him and he came at me and head butts me. Now this was the trigger that put me over the top and said incredible Hulk is coming out.

• 43:09Ed Mylett?

  Snap city.

• 43:10Lewis Howes?

  Snap city. It was like, I can't even remember because I just put him in a headlock and just started UFC pounding him, throwing him to the ground on top of him, just like unleashing all this anger. It had to come out somewhere.

• 43:24Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 43:24Lewis Howes?

  And this was the moment it exploded. Cause I didn't know how to let it come out any other way. Now afterwards, I remember I was shaking so much because it got up and there was blood gushing out everywhere, all over the court. The police station is right across the street. It snaps back into me like, I have everything to lose here. I could go to jail, like what if something happens? What if I actually hurt him really bad? Whatever, like what if my whole life could be over from one moment? I know what happened to my brother going to prison from one drug deal that he was involved in. One thing he got caught, which put him in a prison, sentenced six to 25 years. He got out in four and a half in good behavior. So all of a sudden I'm like, how stupid can I be to allow my emotions to get the best of me, to react?

• 44:11Lewis Howes?

  After that point, my friends were like, you know, you need some help, man. Like you need some help. You know, it wasn't that bad, but they were like, why are you doing this?

• 44:21Ed Mylett?

  That shouldn't happen, right?

• 44:22Lewis Howes?

  Why are you allowing this to happen?

• 44:24Ed Mylett?

  Did you know why then? Do you think you knew?

• 44:26Lewis Howes?

  I think I was just like angry at everything.

• 44:29Ed Mylett?

  No matter how successful you're still, there's this angry piece of you.

• 44:32Lewis Howes?

  Because I would achieve all these things that I wanted, but then I was like angry, right? When I'd achieve them, like it didn't fulfill me.

• 44:37Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 44:38Lewis Howes?

  So I was like, I need to get bigger. I need to make more. I need to like get more goals. I need to do this, like maybe then I'll feel good. And none of it made me feel good. I don't know if you felt that way, like I need to get 10 million, then 100 million, then I need to sell my company. And then I'm going to feel great and maybe it felt great, maybe not, but.

• 44:53Ed Mylett?

  If it does, it's temporary and you're exactly right. Everybody watching this that's had any level of achievement that thinks, once I get something else or I get to this place, then I'll be happy, then I'll be happy, then I'll be happy. And it does, I don't know anybody, and you and I also both know lots of very wealthy people who are completely unhappy. They're like Tony Robbins talks about all the time, success without fulfillment is complete failure, right? And so I relate to that level of failure. So do a lot of people and those of you that are chasing your dream, you've got to find a way, and we're going to talk about this in a minute, to, to enjoy you now, celebrate you now. Because when you get to these different places, guess who arrives there? You. And if you're there with the same damage, with these same masks on, the amount of money you have just, and sometimes frankly,

• 45:35Ed Mylett?

  magnifies the pain that you're in, I think, because you can, you can act out different ways. So, so go ahead. So you, you have this event.

• 45:42Lewis Howes?

  So my friends start saying, and I kind of come to an awareness of like, I remember running back from those courts, like up into my room up here, like looking in the mirror shaking because I've got like blood all over me. And I'm like, what am I doing? The last fight I was in was on like 15 or something. And I'm like, why am I doing this? Looking at myself in the mirror, literally like, why, why are you doing this? Who are you? And who do you want to become? I was just asking myself this over and over. And I started to say, okay, I need to take a deeper look of why I'm so resentful, why I'm so angry, why I'm so frustrated? And why I'm triggered? Why am I triggered when someone steps to me or says something to me? Or leaves a negative review online? Or why do I always have to defend myself?

• 46:23Lewis Howes?

  So I started calling some, some therapist friends of mine that I knew, some spiritual coaches that I knew. I started going to workshops and I went to this one emotional intelligence workshop that similar to like what Tony does, where I had us address kind of our past. Past with our parents, past with girlfriends, past with friends, like childhood and just kind of addressing it all. We recreated and reenacted situations to face ourselves in those moments and, and, and recognize why we've come that way. And after, I was in this five day workshop and after the third day, we had done a lot, you know, addressing our past. I cleared with my parents internally, I cleared with like relationships.

• 47:07Lewis Howes?

  And the facilitator of this workshop, there were about 50 people in it. He said, okay, we're moving forward to focus on our vision for our future. The things you want to create, the person you want to become. We've addressed everything in the past, but if there's anything you haven't addressed yet, now's the time to talk about it. Otherwise we're moving forward, like get on the ship. And so I'm going through in my mind at this moment, like it's a pause in the room. And I'm going through, I'm like, my parents getting divorced, yeah, like pretty much everyone has done that, right? Okay, I went through that, feeling bullied and picked on. I talked about this, feeling like insecure in school, my brother in prison. Like I talked about all these things and I was like, what about the time I was raped by a man? It just kind of came in my mind. And this was always in the back of my mind.

• 47:52Lewis Howes?

  You know, every week I would think about that moment. It would come up, like just kind of randomly popping out of my head and I would just push it to the side. And I remember thinking to myself, if I don't say this now, I'll probably never say it to anyone. Like, the setting was perfect. I had gone through enough challenges and breakdowns in my life where I was like, I'm willing to figure out whatever it is, I'm gonna go there. And so I just stood up, walked to the front of the room. I didn't even ask for permission or anything. I just stood up, walked to the front of the room. And I remember, Ed, that I couldn't look anyone in the eyes. So I was staring down the entire time at the ground. And I walked through for the first time, just looking down. You know, when I was five years old, I was at the babysitter's.

• 48:38Lewis Howes?

  The babysitter had a son who was a teenager, and I just walked through the entire thing. And I couldn't look up because I was so embarrassed and so ashamed of people knowing this about me. And when I was complete, I said it pretty calmly. You know, I just kind of said it very calmly. And when I went to walk down, it's like almost the moment I sat down is like I erupted of tears that I've never had in my life. And I just couldn't stop crying. I was just like crying over and over again. Thankfully, there were two women on either side of me that were holding me. They were crying, I was crying. I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I just said, of people knowing this about me because I wasn't perfect looking anymore. I wasn't just like all American guy who had it figured out anymore. And I remember running out of the room.

• 49:24Lewis Howes?

  Outside, it was in a hotel conference room. I ran outside because I just needed some fresh air. I had my head up against the wall outside and one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to me happened next. One by one, the men who were in the room came up to me outside and just gave me a big hug, looked me in my eyes and told me that I was their hero. One by one, they said different things like that and the crazy thing, the thing that I'm, I was afraid of, people knowing about me the most, was actually the thing that when I shared it, people connected with me even more, trusted me more. And people kept saying that, like, wow, I thought like something completely different about you, but now I trust you.

• 50:09Lewis Howes?

  Now I'll follow you anywhere. Like, they said these things to me and I was like, what? That makes no sense. You know, everything that I was afraid of, that I was taught not to be a little bitch, a little girl, a little pussy, a little fag, whatever the words were that made you wrong, that made you different, that pushed people away from you.

• 50:26Lewis Howes?

  I was taught to like fit in by like being manly, having it figured it out, you know, winning, like talking bad to people, whatever it may be. And none of those things served my heart. And it started to awaken everything in me. Like, when I finally opened up about that, I just said, you know what, I'm gonna open up about everything.

• 50:45Ed Mylett?

  How?

• 50:46Lewis Howes?

  Because the freedom it gave me to realize, wow, you still accept me for who I am. Or the things I've been through and you still, you still like me. You actually like me more. You trust me more. I was like, what? This concept of like being real.

• 51:03Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 51:03Lewis Howes?

  You know, not that I wasn't real.

• 51:05Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 51:05Lewis Howes?

  But I think I was always like, had a little bit of layer of a mask hiding behind.

• 51:09Ed Mylett?

  We, we all do. And what's amazing, sorry I'm getting a little choked, but of all the, I mean, I read all these personal development books, I listen to all these guys. It's the most compelling story I've read. I'm just gonna tell you. No, it is, brother, because the courage, I think it takes courage when you're five, but to carry it and carry it and carry it and carry it and then release it like this massive, it's a gargantuan amount of courage, right? It does, brother. And I think for those, the people that are listening to this because this is corny to say, but like often in our life, our greatest test is actually our defining testimony of our life. Like, that was the greatest test of your life and it's really the testimony of your life.

• 51:51Ed Mylett?

  Everything you're becoming was unleashed because you finally took your mask off. That was the big mask you wore.

• 51:58Lewis Howes?

  Huge for me. The secret I was carrying around my whole life that I didn't want anyone to know. And here's the crazy thing. You know, the people in that workshop were like, you should tell your family. And I was like, there's no way.

• 52:10Ed Mylett?

  So even after that?

• 52:11Lewis Howes?

  I was still scared to let anyone. I was like, this is a safer container, you know, it's like confidential, like no one's gonna hear about this. But I was willing to explore and see what I needed to let go of, to see what I could create in my life. Eventually, I was like, okay, I'm gonna tell my family one by one. And it was terrifying. But again, when I told them, they opened up to things about me that I didn't know. And we built a stronger relationship as a family. Then they were like, you should tell your friends. I was like, no way. My family has to love me. You know what I mean? But my friends, they're probably not gonna accept me anymore. But I'd started doing it one by one.

• 52:45Ed Mylett?

  What was that like? Was it, would you go into them like?

• 52:48Lewis Howes?

  I think I went back to like just being terrified as a kid, like what if they don't accept me?

• 52:52Ed Mylett?

  Same thing, yeah.

• 52:52Lewis Howes?

  Same thing. It was like the fear of what if people don't accept me? But one by one, people accepted me even more and they trusted me even more. And they were there for me more and had compassion. You know, humanity is a powerful thing when you show vulnerability. I truly believe that other people who have a deep hearts like are gonna open up.

• 53:09Ed Mylett?

  So do I.

• 53:10Lewis Howes?

  You know, there may be some people who are gonna be so guarded they can't receive it, but usually most people have a great heart.

• 53:15Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 53:16Lewis Howes?

  And my friends started saying, you gotta share this publicly. And I was like, no fucking way.

• 53:21Ed Mylett?

  Now you're.

• 53:22Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. They're like, you should tell this on your podcast. I was like, no, it's gonna hurt my business. Like, what if people are really gonna think weird about me?

• 53:28Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 53:29Lewis Howes?

  But after six months of me just saying, you know what, I need to continue to talk about this because it still has power over me. Because when I talk about it, I quiver, I palpitate my heart, like it still owns me. And I don't want this thing to own me anymore. I wanna own it. And so, so I finally had enough courage to just kind of tell all the close people in my life, my friends, the family. And it wasn't a hard thing anymore to talk about it. You know, it's still a moment that I wish no one to go through. But it doesn't take over my body. And so I said, you know what, I need to do this publicly because I felt like I'd never seen another white, straight male, jock looking guy open up about this.

• 54:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 54:12Lewis Howes?

  I've never seen it. Maybe it's happened, but I just.

• 54:14Ed Mylett?

  Nor have I.

• 54:15Lewis Howes?

  I can't think of like some personality or athlete or business leader who has opened up about it. And one in six men have been sexually abused in some way. One in six. And yet it's not acceptable to talk about it. Whether it be, you know, to friends, to family, or publicly, or whatever. It's just, I'm not saying everyone should publicly talk about it.

• 54:36Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 54:37Lewis Howes?

  But I felt like for me.

• 54:39Ed Mylett?

  I love what you said about it still owning you.

• 54:41Lewis Howes?

  It was owning me. Yeah. And I was just like, I felt a duty, a responsibility to continue to talk about it. Because, and here's the thing that happened, when I put it on my podcast, I talked about it on my podcast, did a whole episode about it four years ago. I shared it out. And at night, I posted it out at night, like 11 o'clock, I was right here in this room. I posted it out and I went out and sat on that patio right there. And I sent out one tweet and I just said, I'm gonna leave it up to the universe to see what happens. So I didn't promote it anyway, I just put one tweet out and I was like, I'm gonna go to bed and see, hopefully no one watches this. You know, I was like, hopefully no one saw it.

• 55:19Ed Mylett?

  You want them to, but you don't.

• 55:20Lewis Howes?

  And the crazy thing is I went outside and it was like, it was 11 o'clock at night, but it felt like it was daytime. It was the largest moon in the last hundred years that happened that night. It was a super moon. And it was like, I didn't know this was happening in that time. I just decided I needed to post it then. And it kind of gives me chills thinking about it. And I was looking up the definition of like, what's a super moon mean? And it's like, a super moon is like shifts the world and like, and I was like, this is crazy, right? And over the next couple of weeks, I was getting hundreds of emails from men, sending essays telling me, I've been married for 35 years, my wife doesn't know. This is what happened to me. I've been in this relationship for this long, I've never told anyone. You know, this, this happened to me for years when I was a kid. This, you know,

• 56:05Lewis Howes?

  the craziest stories I've ever heard made mine look like a Disney movie compared to some of the stuff that men were emailing me. But it's like I gave these men who listened, permission for the first time to talk about it. Because if a big jock looking guy like me.

• 56:19Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, right. Good looking, big jock, athlete, successful.

• 56:22Lewis Howes?

  If I talk about it, then maybe someone else can talk about it. And the healing that started to happen from within of these men, where they finally started to talk to their partner about it, where they finally started to address it, where they finally started to not be so stoic or so driven by sexual mask or the material mask to make themselves feel better. They started to communicate in healthier forms. And, and just show a little bit of emotion, show a little bit of vulnerability and heal from within. And they got healthier physically, their businesses grew, their relationships thrived.

• 56:56Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 56:57Lewis Howes?

  Cause they were able to communicate.

• 56:58Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 56:58Lewis Howes?

  And I think as men, we've been conditioned not to share certain things, to be tough, to be these things, to not be weak, to not be soft.

• 57:06Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 57:06Lewis Howes?

  To not show emotion, to not show affection. You know, as a kid, I was always like pushed away from my friends when I would be like, it's so good to see you.

• 57:14Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 57:14Lewis Howes?

  You know, I would like put an arm around a guy.

• 57:16Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 57:16Lewis Howes?

  Not in a sexual way, just like buddy buddy.

• 57:18Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 57:19Lewis Howes?

  And be like, get off me, what are you gay?

• 57:20Ed Mylett?

  Yes. It's interesting, I was gonna tell you something, cause I'm that way too, I have touchy feelings.

• 57:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:25Ed Mylett?

  Especially, it's funny, especially with, it's like when I see my buddies, I touch them, you know?

• 57:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 57:29Ed Mylett?

  I want to say something about what you said there, cause there's this, I think we all want people to like us, you know? And I think that when we wear these masks, I think the more honest we are about who we truly are, the more people actually love us.

• 57:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 57:42Ed Mylett?

  The real us, you know? And I think, what I love, what I want the men listening to this, this is a real man. A real man is vulnerable, a real man is honest, a real man's transparent. And not all of us have big muscles and are big guys like that, but I'm attracted to people, and I think everybody is, who are, they're, they're on, they're authentic selves, right? And you have this big, big story, and I love what you said about more men came to you, and I just want to acknowledge it, man, like, I think it's made a huge difference in the world.

• 58:12Lewis Howes?

  Thank you, appreciate it.

• 58:13Ed Mylett?

  And I think those of you that are watching this, I, I always advocate for somebody on my program, but I think there's a, I know when I'm with a genuine, good person, who cares? And like, I think if, if, if Lewis is this honest about this, imagine the kind of transparency and honesty you get if you were reading his books, if you were, if you were a part of his podcast, become a part of his community, because I think when you're like this, I think you get this out of your guests, I think you get it out of the people that you interview too. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube, or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So this man sitting across from me, I just told him, if he was a stock, I'd be buying

• 58:58Ed Mylett?

  him. And I mean that, he is already making huge waves in the world, because his work is so profound, so impactful, so much so, by the way, that, you know, I do 52 interviews a year, I'd say 50 of them are through people that have reached out to the show, and then there's a few every year where I'm just persistent to find them and get them on the show, and in this man's case, I pursued him. I wanted him here today because I believe his work can change your life. And I think we can do that in the next hour. And so, I don't even know what I'd call him, I guess I'd call him like a holistic healer of both the spirit, the mind and the body.

• 59:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 59:34Ed Mylett?

  And his work is very diverse, it's profound, it's made a big impact on me. We could go three hours today, and we have to squeeze it into an hour. So Dr. Christian Gonzalez, AKA Dr. G, great to have you sitting across from me.

• 59:47Speaker 06

  What an honor, man. And what, what a beautiful intro, this might be the best one, I feel really full, nourished, open, I'm ready to talk about it all, man. You, you shoot, and I'm gonna be like an old western guy, boom, boom, boom, right for next.

• 59:59Ed Mylett?

  Alright, good. This is profound, everyone, listen really closely to this part, I want him to speak on, cause he's awesome at this. But there's this shame that can only be released by giving yourself some grace.

• 1:00:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Ed Mylett?

  Right? And those two words resonate with me. I, I think even in my case, I always am open with my audience, I have shame about things that I'm not even sure what they are.

• 1:00:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:00:23Ed Mylett?

  Meaning, I, did I have, I, I think, growing up as a child, I had an alcoholic dad, as you know, there's a measure of shame that came with it, that wasn't my doing, but I remember thinking, man, I don't want people to know our families like this.

• 1:00:36Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:37Ed Mylett?

  And I would carry that to school with me every single day. Or when my dad was yelling, I remember thinking, they can hear him down the street in their house, they must think. So there's a measure of shame, like, you can carry shame from things that aren't even your bags. And then of course, there's your bags, you made a mistake, you didn't treat somebody well, you told a lie, you were human. And what, Dr. G's work, you guys, is that this is stored in your body and your emotions, and it's going to show up until and if you give yourself some measure of grace. So, and it has shown up for me, in different ways in my life. And I, I, I'm at such an interesting time in my life, and it's the reason that your

• 1:01:19Ed Mylett?

  work resonates with me, where I'm like, I do want to show up as me. The sexual me, being more sensual, right? Not just so, whatever that is, right? And in my personal life like this, being more authentic and transparent and vulnerable with people feels good to me. It actually feels good in my body when I do it, feels good emotionally, I feel good about me when I do it. So talk about that relationship between shame and then, in the body, the heart, and then grace.

• 1:01:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, and, and thank you for sharing your background. I want everyone to notice, when you feel awkward, that is shame. When you feel awkward, you're holding in, that's your shame being activated.

• 1:02:01Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 1:02:02Speaker 06

  Right? So think about it, how many of us feel awkward? Just when we see things, when we see someone expressing something that we want to express, but we judge them instead, right? Cause we're triggered by them, why are they dressed like that? I don't like how they're dressed, it's, oh my god, as a man or as a woman, you can't dress like that. The truth is, is that the part of you that feels awkward and disconnected, and, and wanting to be, like, just create distance and triggered by them, the truth is, is the inside of you, the part of you that wants to express like that is being shown. Now, I want you to think about it, growing up in your household, and feeling, oh god, I don't want the neighbors to hear, I don't want the neighbors to hear, this is too loud, this is too loud. Ironically, is giving your body the signal that I can't be fully big, fully me. And it's, it's crazy, because you've created such a beautiful brand for yourself, it's

• 1:02:46Speaker 06

  helping so many people, and you have this bigness to you. But I wonder how much more personally, you walking the streets, you at a party, you walking through the office, is, is even wanting to be expressed more of. And it's, I can't understate this, the fascia in your body has no linearity of time, doesn't care about past, it doesn't care about future. Meaning, that, that's why we talk about inner child, we're talking about our fascia. Our fascia remembers, just like it happened one second ago.

• 1:03:19Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 1:03:20Speaker 06

  That's how deeply it is evolutionarily to our protection. So, if you grew up in a household that had an alcoholic dad, or alcoholic mom, or bipolar, just not safe, and you have not done any work around that, you are not going to feel safe in your own body, cause your fascia believes that it's still in the same moment as it was 40, 50, 30, whatever years ago. So this is so important to understand, this is why it's protecting you. The fascia's always protecting you from the environment, this is why, when there's someone raising their voice and getting loud, and it's reminiscent of dad, there's a part of you that contracts.

• 1:03:58Ed Mylett?

  Jeez, I just, bro, can I interrupt? When I'm in a restaurant and someone's loud, it drives me nuts.

• 1:04:05Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:04:05Ed Mylett?

  Nuts, and I'm always wondering, like, it doesn't bother anybody else at the table except me, like, why are they being so loud?

• 1:04:10Speaker 06

  Cause that sensitivity is in your fascia, your body remembers as if it was yesterday. So any loudness is going to trigger you internally. Now, you're of rational mind, you're a grown man, and you're not gonna go, okay, I'm gonna shake and I'm gonna cry, or I'm gonna be like, hey, shut up, don't be so loud, you're gonna be rational, be like, okay, hey, this is bothering me, but let's get back to the conversation. But guess what? You can stop listening, but your body's not. Your body's going to be contracted, you're gonna get in your car, you're gonna get home and be like, I don't know, my back is hurting again. I don't know why I can't really breathe today, it's cause your body's communicating with you, hey, there's some things inside of you, whether it's anger, that wants to be expressed for dad, or sadness and pain, why were you like this, I wish we, that needs to be expressed out of you. And that's everyone listening.

• 1:04:55Speaker 06

  When you feel awkward or feel triggered by someone else, that is your body talking to you, and you have two things you can do. You can either ignore it and judge them and be like, [BLEEP] them. Or you can be like, why am I feeling this way in my body? There's something about this person, right? For me, and you said I, I've been very open about this, like, I grew up in a place where we celebrated like frat living, right? Drinking, partying, Jersey Shore, this is where I was, like, you've seen the show, that's real, like, that's what the consciousness is. Guys would celebrate sleeping with the most women at the end of the summer. I was in that tornado. And there was a part of me that felt so inauthentic doing it, cause I knew I was much more soft,

• 1:05:37Speaker 06

  I knew I was much more gentle, I knew I was much more of, I want a connection. I've, I've always been more romantic, I grew up like that, right? Like, but it was so hard not being that, it was easier, easier being just one of the frat type frat guys, right? So it took many years for me to come back to that place and go, hold on, wait, that's not too feminine, right? That's not too feminine. I can be sensual, I can move sensually, I can be slower, I can make love, not just [BLEEP], right? Like, and this is, this is where so many men are, this is me, I gotta get out of me, how do I? Instead of going, hold on, take a moment, like, what's true for you? And that's, that's when we talk about the sexuality and sensuality, but shame is everything,

• 1:06:22Speaker 06

  you could be ashamed to just be big, you could be ashamed to take up space, you could be ashamed to, to do anything, you could be ashamed when someone's angry and you don't want to get angry. Shame, that's why shame is such a iron blanket on our shoulders, and it puts us, it puts our tails between our legs. And ultimately, what that does, it holds back your authentic expression, which is ultimately, the, the, the state of health that everyone, I, I want the world to be in, is authentic expression. Cause when you're in that state of health, you've told your body, I am me. And when you tell your body that, your nervous system is in harmony, you're immune, your hormones, your gut, you're able to eat what your body wants to, cause you know what you want to, and, and on top of that, you're giving to the world what you're here to do, right?

• 1:07:06Speaker 06

  When you're in your authentic expression, just you being you shifts mountains, just by you being, you don't have to put in the work, you put in the work, but you don't have to push against the grain. You can just show up and flow and be like, this is me, and the words that I say that are authentic to me, why are they touching millions of people? It's because you're you, and people feel that. This is what you said in the beginning of the podcast, before we started, you go, Dr. G, you say these like things, but people feel you. People feel me because I'm coming from my authenticity.

• 1:07:32Ed Mylett?

  Bro, your work is so brilliant and profound, and I'm gonna share with you, I'm gonna confirm with what you just said. This last week, I was at a golf tournament, a celebrity golf tournament. I brought my son in it, and then, I want to make sure I say this the right way, but the night before the tournament, I ended up in a long conversation with Caitlyn Jenner.

• 1:07:56Ed Mylett?

  And I've watched Caitlyn's life when Caitlyn was Bruce.

• 1:08:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Ed Mylett?

  I'm old enough for that, for the Olympics, all the way through to this day. And um, I've always had a genuinely good feeling about her. Same time, that issue, I haven't been able to navigate my true feelings about, first off, I always want somebody to be able to express their true selves. But all the way to men, biological men fighting women in sports, all these issues are very complicated for me. And I don't feel comfortable with that. And then does that mean I'm not supporting of trans people? You know, that whole dynamic. And so there's been a, I don't know what I would call it. There's a curiosity slash probably some assessment of Caitlyn for me. And I ended up, we ended up talking for like an hour and I can genuinely say

• 1:08:44Ed Mylett?

  that it was one of the most enjoyable conversations of my lifetime. And it's one of the people, it makes me emotional actually to say this. One of the people I have liked the most I have ever met in my life. Trans, non-trans, athlete, non-athlete, celeb, non-celeb. So much so that the next day we were at another event together. And um, we ended up sort of just gravitating to one another. She says, man, you keep showing up on my phone and all this motivational stuff. And I said, that's probably because we were talking and now the phone heard, you know? But we had this visit the next day and then I watched how everyone responded and people filming her and this or that or the other thing. And I remember, I think the reason that I liked her so much is exactly what you just said.

• 1:09:29Ed Mylett?

  That assessment, judgment, setting that aside, this person is their authentic self. And that overrides everything else that's the noise in someone's life. And I think that's a pretty extreme case of someone expressing their true selves who knew they were going to take enormous criticism, enormous blowback. And then even in the trans community, because Caitlyn doesn't support all of the, you know, niche issues of trans people. And so, wow, what a gutsy person to come out as trans, to change their, their entire life and look. And then at the same time say, and I'm not locked up in barrel with all of you either on some of my beliefs.

• 1:10:09Ed Mylett?

  It's like that, no matter if you, I'm not saying I agree, disagree with stances, positions, any of that stuff. What I'm saying is what overrode all that was this human being is their authentic self. Man is that attractive. Man was that interesting. So much so that I'm expressing it on my show right now, a week later. So I just want to make sure that I acknowledge, you guys, there is something to this, just being you and expressing you and being free to be you, that is so attractive, so magnetic.

• 1:10:42Speaker 06

  So attractive and magnetic, that's the word. And, and in order to be you, you have to face the parts of you that are you that you don't want to look at. You have to go into the proverbial house, the body, and open that closet that is the angry you with horns and fangs in the tail. And you have to open up the closet and you have to see yourself on a fetal position, crying the heaviest tears you've ever cried. Or in another closet, you shaking so scared of monsters when you were a kid, whatever it is. You have to see that in order for you to fully be you, because ultimately, you know, you hear so many people go love yourself.

• 1:11:15Speaker 06

  And I go, what does that even mean?

• 1:11:16Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:17Speaker 06

  How do we even do that? Right? Essentially, when we were children, we are this full spectrum of expression. We were that as kids. We, we know that because we were the saddest of the sads. And then a minute later, jumping on the bed in the joyous of the joy and everything in between. We and self-help and motivation, we go, let's just look at the light. And you gotta be all of the loving, positive emotions. Negative emotions, you know, go for a walk or do some breathing, meditate through them. No, man, you have to embody all parts of you. Until you embody all parts of you, you cannot use the word love for yourself. Unconditional love, you know, when people say it's a container, what does that mean? It means it's the container that holds all parts of you.

• 1:12:02Speaker 06

  The heaven and the hell, the dark, the light, all parts of you. And then, once you hold yourself fully, you can hold another, you can hold a lover, you can hold your children. Then you've held so much of your deep grief and deep sadness for the shit that's happened in your life, that when your child cries, they ain't triggering you. You don't have to say, stop crying. You can be with them fully open-hearted. You know how many women I see and they go, I, I love my dad, he, he provided and protected for us, but I never had an emotional connection to him. Why? It's because that man has, doesn't have an emotional connection to himself. He's never looked at the pain that he's holding. And until a man does that, it's going to be very difficult to have a deep connection with your wife and your daughter. So this is our responsibility as men, this is our responsibility as humans.

• 1:12:45Speaker 06

  And here's the biggest superpower all human beings have, we know. We have this awareness, even if it's so turned up and we think we're unconscious, oh, we know. We know when we're not doing what our body wants to do, we know when I, when I'm not being authentic, we know when we're putting on a mask. We know, and we definitely know when people are doing it. This is why people can only fake people out for so long, until things just stop working out for them. Right? But you can't, you can't just fake it out. At some point, people are going to be, see through a and this is why we buy stock in people who we go, that's the authenticity, um, I want stock in that. Whatever they're talking about, they, they're just being them. And they're radiating from internal, external, and the external is lining itself as the experience to them.

• 1:13:29Speaker 06

  Not internal, how do I show up for the world so everyone likes me? You gotta be you and whoever likes you will, they'll find their way to you.

• 1:13:37Ed Mylett?

  Brother, this needs to go everywhere when we're talking about it. I mean, how profound what you're just saying is, is like, even if you don't even agree, what I was just talking about with Caitlyn, like you didn't even agree with the person's position or stance. There's something so attractive about somebody saying, this is who I am. And it's okay if you don't like me. And what ends up happening is there's a magnetism, an affection, an attraction to something that is real and true to somebody, even if it is, like, I have friends of mine that, you know, are super political. I'm really not that much, but like, super left-leaning, like, oh my gosh. And then I got friends that are super right-leaning. And they're both really great friends of mine because I know who they really are.

• 1:14:20Ed Mylett?

  And there's something awesome about that, even if I think they're both wacky.

• 1:14:24Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's a beautiful way to say it. And, and this is what was happening. Caitlyn was only mirroring your authenticity. What you saw in her is you. So that shows you, there's parts of you that are dying to come out, that, that doesn't mean it has to be that.

• 1:14:40Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:14:40Speaker 06

  But there's, there's, there's parts of her, the authentic, the I'm big, I don't care who sees me. Maybe that's something in you that even more wants to be expressed.

• 1:14:51Ed Mylett?

  I think absolutely, you're right.

• 1:14:52Speaker 06

  This is why we're attracted. This is why we're attracted to people who are being themselves unapologetically, not hurting people, but being them from their soul out to the world.

• 1:15:02Ed Mylett?

  That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. All right. Hey, welcome back everybody to the show. Today's an honor. I guess she's an icon. I think I would say she's an icon. I'm gonna say that out loud.

• 1:15:19LeAnn Rimes?

  At forty?

• 1:15:19Ed Mylett?

  She's an icon. She's iconic for sure. And she's just, um, she's a really special being. She's an immensely gifted artist and you all know who she is once you, once I say her name. But I've just watched her. When I used to watch her when she was young, I thought she was this really young soul. And as I've watched her become a woman, I think she stepped into a space where she's actually like a very old soul.

• 1:15:42LeAnn Rimes?

  No, thank you.

• 1:15:42Ed Mylett?

  Very wise. She's gone through a lot, she's grown a lot. And she's just got, she's got a new album out, by the way, that I absolutely love. I cried listening to a song on there called How Much A Heart Can Hold with my wife. And her new album is called God's Work. And I'm really honored that she's here today to share some time with all of you that I love so much. So Leanne Rimes, thank you for being here.

• 1:16:01LeAnn Rimes?

  Thank you. Thanks for having me.

• 1:16:03Ed Mylett?

  So you go away and you come back and I'm just curious, like, does the anxiety manifest itself in any area? Like, could even be like coming here today or?

• 1:16:14LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah, it does.

• 1:16:15Ed Mylett?

  It does. So you'll still, you'll still, and what does it look like for you? Like, I don't really want to do this? Or I'm not good enough to do this? Or how do I get out of doing this? Or like?

• 1:16:23LeAnn Rimes?

  Oh, no. I mean, I, yeah, definitely could manifest in all those ways, actually.

• 1:16:26Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, me too. That's why I ask.

• 1:16:28LeAnn Rimes?

  I, um, I think it's definitely kind of comes back to this like worthy, worthiness wound.

• 1:16:34Ed Mylett?

  Wow, it's amazing for you.

• 1:16:35LeAnn Rimes?

  I know. It is pretty crazy if you think about it, because of all that I've accomplished in my life. And, and I, but I do think that that's why I was so adamant about accomplishing so much. Because I felt like I had to in order to receive love.

• 1:16:47Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 1:16:48LeAnn Rimes?

  And, and, and when you really boil it down, especially for myself, ultimately at the end of the day. And so now it's, I, I feel like that's definitely quieted down a lot. And I, like I said, I can stop myself this morning and be like, no, you're like, it's all okay. Like you can have all the anxiety and all these feelings of unworthiness. And you can still show up and you're still going to, for me, it's like, just, I just ask, like, you know, I trust that whatever needs to come through will come through me and

• 1:17:17Ed Mylett?

  It is.

• 1:17:17LeAnn Rimes?

  And thanks. And that's what, that's the thing. Like you just, for me, I've learned to kind of move that piece of me just to the side. Not like out of the way completely, just move it to the side. Tell it, it can be there. Like you can have your space in me today. Like you can be right here and I'm also with you. There's another part of me that's here too. So it's a bit of compartmentalizing and at the same time allowing it to be complete. Like I, you know, for me in the past, like, I used to never have stage fright, never have anxiety. Like when I was a kid, I was just, I felt superhuman. And until I, once I started to see my humanity, it changed everything. All of a sudden I had anxiety, all of a sudden I had stage fright at times. Like I realized.

• 1:18:01Ed Mylett?

  About when was that?

• 1:18:02LeAnn Rimes?

  My humanity. It started, I would say it started, um, right, maybe around twenty eight.

• 1:18:10LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah, twenty seven, twenty eight.

• 1:18:13Ed Mylett?

  Me too. For me, it was when other people started to criticize me a little bit.

• 1:18:16LeAnn Rimes?

  Completely. That's exactly when it happened. My husband and I have been married for twelve years, but we went through, you know, very public affair and, I mean, the process is brutal and especially for a woman and especially for a young woman who they built up to be America's sweetheart forever. And so it was like the ultimate story for them. And that's when I started judging myself through other people's eyes. And one day that did switch and like maybe thirty two or thirty three, I realized, wait, these are people's projections on to me. Like I don't have, that's not who I am. You know, my, my mistakes, um, I'm not my mistakes and I'm not, I'm not who they say I am.

• 1:18:59LeAnn Rimes?

  And I think that it took me, it took me doing a lot of soul searching to recognize who I was in order for that not to be projected upon me.

• 1:19:10Ed Mylett?

  Same with me.

• 1:19:11LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah, it's intense. It's an intense role.

• 1:19:13Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. And by the way, this manifest, this projection from other people manifest in your life, listening to this, maybe the same way it does for Leanne and I, Leanne and I, but maybe differently. Maybe you're living someone's projection in your life. Your parents projected a particular career on you. Or beliefs in yourself, or what you are or are not good at. They projected it on to you and you've adapted it and that's how you live your life. And so a lot of our lives, there's this whole thing where we live in some ulterior dimension, you know? We're not, but we are oftentimes as living other people's projections. And, and for me and you, it was like, wow, we were sort of achiever, achiever, achievers. And then criticism, and then I started to sort of look at myself as if maybe I've been fooling myself the whole time. You know, maybe.

• 1:19:56LeAnn Rimes?

  Maybe I am that horrible person they say.

• 1:19:58Ed Mylett?

  Right, maybe I am. And maybe part of those.

• 1:20:00LeAnn Rimes?

  Maybe some of it was true.

• 1:20:01Ed Mylett?

  Maybe some of it was true for me too.

• 1:20:03LeAnn Rimes?

  Some of it, I was like, oh, I can see where I was kind of an asshole at that moment in time, you know, like, oh, I didn't, you know, I didn't take others' people's feelings into consideration when I did blank, whatever it may have been. I can look back now and go, oh yeah, like there were parts of that that were true, but that's not totally, that's not who I am.

• 1:20:20Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 1:20:21LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:21Ed Mylett?

  My way out, I'm curious what some of your ways are. Let's talk about some tools out for you. What works for you?

• 1:20:27LeAnn Rimes?

  Ice baths. No, just kidding.

• 1:20:30LeAnn Rimes?

  We were just, for everybody, we were just talking about how much we can't stand ice baths before the show.

• 1:20:37Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, it's definitely not ice baths for the two of us right now. That's so dang funny. It's so true. I, I, uh, for me, the hardest thing, I'll tell you something interesting, because I've been in front of people, I conflated two things too. I conflated like, um, love with significance. When I did significant things, I felt loved. So if I would just keep doing significant things and sometimes in life, these things also work for you. Like one of the reasons you were so successful is because you did make this, and then you're, a lot of times in life, if something works for you a little bit, it's really scary to give it up entirely. Cause you're like, that's part of my recipe. If I don't have anxiety or worry, maybe I won't practice as good or I won't be on my A game.

• 1:21:17Ed Mylett?

  And so there's a nuance to life. That's the hard part about podcasting or writing a book. It's like, there's a nuance to something. But for me, the hardest thing that is now the most beautiful thing is what you just said earlier, me being alone with me. I realized like, maybe it's different for a woman, but maybe it's not. But like for me, like I never even just stopped and really just like, looked at me in a mirror. Like just not, I'd look at like, is my hair messed up or something? But I mean, just like, I love this man. I've like, I've never done, I had never done that. Like I, I love this man. It's a good man. I never would stop. I was just doing life. And then this idea of like getting alone with myself and

• 1:22:00Ed Mylett?

  being quiet and like just being with my breathing and these were so difficult for me. And when they were difficult for me, I thought, well, maybe that's because it would be so valuable for me if I could do it. And so for me, forms of meditation have helped me a lot. Sometimes like actually writing for me can be a form of meditation. So has, what's worked for you? Like if you were to share with someone who says, I got anxiety, I got worry, I got fear, I got anger, what has actually worked most of the time?

• 1:22:29LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah, I mean, I think that piece of creativity is super important. Um, I mean, we're all creative beings. Like that is our nature. And I think until we nurture that nature, um, and find a way of doing that, like, and I think what's so interesting too is we are all so unique. Like what works for one person will not work for the next person possibly. And you know, it's just, you have to find your own path with it. So I, I dip in and out of things all the time. Meditation is pretty much a non-negotiable for me, even if it's five minutes during the day. I just need to sit, breathe, um, and you know, I'll take in an inhale and like, and do it like double time, uh, double longer exhale.

• 1:23:10LeAnn Rimes?

  That usually will help my anxiety a little bit. Um, but yeah, I mean, I've really gotten into recently, um, working a lot with my physical body, like balancing my hormones. Like I've, I kind of went from the beginning meditation and breathing to now like going, running the gamut of pretty much everything you can think of. But you know, physical, mental, spiritual, like emotional, it's all important. You can't leave one out. You really can't. Writing, I think, you know, has been such a, a big thing for me also, creating, um, and I, yeah, I, it's interesting that you just said, cause something clicked for me is you said, um, that, you know, we get projected upon, like the things we're good at, things we're not good at.

• 1:23:53LeAnn Rimes?

  I think leaning into the things I've been told I wasn't good at, like I, I, I don't like to dance. Like it really, I do not like to move my body. And there was, I think that also has to do with, um, old, uh, religious programming too. But it's, I had this whole thing around, someone told me one time that I was a better singer than I was a dancer and I stopped dancing. And which by the way, like I, I might've been a fine dancer, but if you're going to tell me I'm a better singer, I mean, I'm like, I'm, I was exceptionally good at singing. So I like, I couldn't dance that well too. But yeah, I felt like I just stopped doing it. And so for me, finding what those places are that feel really uncomfortable.

• 1:24:35LeAnn Rimes?

  And even if it's for me, putting one song on and like moving my body freely is, and when I do that, I'll ball. Like I'll ball and I'll have so much joy at the same time. And then I, I'll stop. I'm like, okay, if that's, that's kind of my threshold of how I, but how LeAnn into those things. But I, I feel like it's finding those places for people that are scary. And walking into them and they don't have, you don't have to just, you know, run and jump off the cliff. Like just dipping a toe into things to expand who we believe ourselves to be.

• 1:25:13LeAnn Rimes?

  Like it just, it opens our lives up in every other aspect, not just that one little space, but in every other aspect of our life starts to change.

• 1:25:23Ed Mylett?

  You're so right. That's where I want to go too. You're like doing the interview for me. But like I tied up my identity into everything outside of me all of my life. So like, uh, if I made money or I got a muscle or whatever it was, it was, my identity was always tied to the external.

• 1:25:43Ed Mylett?

  Man, it worked for me for a long time.

• 1:25:44LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah, it does. It works.

• 1:25:45Ed Mylett?

  It works. But it like,

• 1:25:49Ed Mylett?

  when I got wealthy or whatever, like I, it never was quite what I thought it would be when I would get there. And I think it was because I had, I had tied it to the external instead of like, like I, I just love this work. I love doing this work. So you had to have had your identity completely tied up in being famous or being a singer. And did you, have you unpacked that at all? Like someone, listen, your identity could be that, and stay with me, your identity could be that you're a mother. Well, someday, by the way, someday you'll be an empty nester. And then what? Right? So, so it could be anything out there, but did you, you must've had a lot of that.

• 1:26:24LeAnn Rimes?

  It's still tied up, um, and to a certain extent around my voice. I, I went through this few days the other day where I was thinking like, what could I live without? And when I really. Yeah. Like could I live without my voice? And that was one big one where I was like, I don't want to. But if I had to, I guess I would have to. And I was just looked up at the sky. I was like, don't do that to me. So you know, this is not an invitation.

• 1:26:52Ed Mylett?

  Let's not prove it.

• 1:26:53LeAnn Rimes?

  To test that theory.

• 1:26:55Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 1:26:55LeAnn Rimes?

  But I, you know, I, there was like my wedding, it was interesting things, like my wedding ring, like was really, is really important to me. And yeah, it's random little things that I was like.

• 1:27:05Ed Mylett?

  It's a powerful question.

• 1:27:06LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah, it was, and it was like, okay, well, maybe that's because of how important like relationships. I was told how important relationships were at a certain age, you know, like, well, how are these things? How are, why, why are the, the few things that I wouldn't really want to let go of, why are they so important? So I went through that for a moment and my, my voice is definitely one of those weird things when you're born into this world with something like that. And you know, as you get older, like things shift and change and I know that I'm not going to be doing this my whole life, you know, I mean, who knows? But I mean, I, I, at some point, I, I feel like I want a different experience. That's been the new thing for me too, is that, that whole term different experience, um, especially when shifting things. It's like, oh,

• 1:27:50LeAnn Rimes?

  I want a different experience. What's a different experience look like? So it's been something I've been playing with. And I know for me, like, I will want a different experience one day than being on the road.

• 1:28:00Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:00LeAnn Rimes?

  So, and I don't know. I mean, I've, I've had moments like, look, COVID, you know, gave us an opportunity to kind of.

• 1:28:09LeAnn Rimes?

  Untangle from all of those things that we were attached to. And I did for a moment and I was, I was okay with it. I was okay with it. I think, look, I, you know, I just released an album. I haven't ever, I don't even look at charts anymore. Like, I don't know what it did. I really don't. And I, maybe it's part of that self-preservation and also part of it, though, is, is not the reason I do it anymore.

• 1:28:34Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 1:28:34LeAnn Rimes?

  Like, the reason I do it is to connect with people and help shift, help them shift, or help them question. And it's really, yeah, it's so interesting how my reason for doing things has shifted.

• 1:28:49Ed Mylett?

  Changed.

• 1:28:49LeAnn Rimes?

  It really has.

• 1:28:50Ed Mylett?

  What was someone listening to, they just said, hey, I'm curious, I saw you on a stage, I don't remember whose event it was, it was Louis's.

• 1:28:58LeAnn Rimes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:28:58Ed Mylett?

  Louis, I swear I met you.

• 1:28:59LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:00Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. And I had to go up after you, I think.

• 1:29:04LeAnn Rimes?

  You did.

• 1:29:04Ed Mylett?

  I think I had to go up after you. I was like, I'm not, I rarely have ever had that feeling in my life. I don't want to go up after that because the room was so moved. I just thought, she's gonna be doing this, too. Like, meaning this, meaning like, leveraging this gift she has, but it was much more like, direct approach. It wasn't like, just enjoy my work. There was a message, spoken message, some chanting with it. I'm just curious, I'm surprised you haven't gone further down that road.

• 1:29:33LeAnn Rimes?

  It's something I want to do.

• 1:29:35Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, well, maybe today's the beginning, right?

• 1:29:36LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah, no, right. It is. When I, it's funny, when you, when you asked me to come on here, that's what I thought about. And I remember you saying to me, you came up after and you were like, you've never done this before. Because I had such a, I was going through this whole thing with Louis. I'm like, I don't speak, I speak during my shows, but like, this is, you're asking me to give a speech. And he's like, just come do it for like, 10 minutes and then you can sing and then we'll have a chat. I'm like, cool, I can do that. But it did get me this bug of, this is another way for me to share.

• 1:30:04Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:30:04LeAnn Rimes?

  And connect with people. And when you asked me to do this, it made me think of that. I'm like, you know what? I need to do that.

• 1:30:11Ed Mylett?

  I've been speaking for 30 years, one time ever, I went, I would really prefer not to go up right now after that person, and it was you. I'm serious. And it's not because you can sing better than me. I think that's kind of a given. I was like, no, something just happened in the room right now that I'm not so sure I can match or do anything better than. And I, I'm dead serious when I say that to you, and.

• 1:30:29LeAnn Rimes?

  It's the heart, it's the heart. I mean, I think that I was so open. I mean, I walked up on stage and just started bawling because it was, I was conquering, and that's what I talked about. I was crying out. I was conquering a huge fear.

• 1:30:41Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:42LeAnn Rimes?

  And I know that that's also the reason why I haven't done more of it. But I, the reason, as I'm crying, the reason I know I need to.

• 1:30:50Ed Mylett?

  Which is rather remarkable that you, of all people, were uncomfortable getting up in front of a group. But the lesson, and the reason I bring it up is the lesson, I made a post Saturday about this, like, start a new hobby. You set a new experience. That's the pathway to bliss, everybody. That's the pathway, is to do something new that you feel ill-prepared for, that's a bit scary, but maybe you have some potential proclivity for. Like, I shouldn't decide that right now, I'm gonna start doing 360 windmill dunks. It's just not a lot of dudes that are my build that are doing that right now. So it's gotta be something that you have some proclivity for, but create a new experience. Like, even if you're great at something, to your point, like, you're, you're the best at what you do. But do you want that to be the entire experience of your life?

• 1:31:32LeAnn Rimes?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:33Ed Mylett?

  Right? Like, that's the juice of life. And so, why I was so proud of you, not even knowing you that day, and then to watch you just go, wow. But I remember thinking, this is probably something she's gonna do a lot of. And then really, you haven't very much since that time.

• 1:31:46LeAnn Rimes?

  No, I haven't since then. Well, but also, COVID happened along those lines, too. But it is something that I've, I just had this huge meeting the other day with my team, and I'm like, that is, that is on the docket of things to, to walk into. I did.

• 1:32:01Ed Mylett?

  Well, you just got introduced to a couple million more people than you to do it. So, it's really good.

• 1:32:05LeAnn Rimes?

  I did, I did a chant record during, during the middle of COVID, because I felt like, people just, people needed it, which was something new for me. I've never kind of branched out and did that. And then I think that kind of, you know, that informed this new record. And I'm also working, I'm working on a chant, too, at the moment. So I'm wanting to create this whole, like, sound experience for people.

• 1:32:26Ed Mylett?

  You guys, when she does this, it's unreal. It's unreal. She did it that day. It's unreal.

• 1:32:52Speaker 01

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• 1:33:03Speaker 02

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• 1:33:09Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stall, you freeze in there, that's what.

• 1:33:13Speaker 02

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• 1:33:16Speaker 03

  I'm not the first then.

• 1:33:18Speaker 02

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• 1:33:33Speaker 02

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