Meditation, Solved: Is It Actually Worth It?

Meditation has been sold to us as a magic pill for so long that the backlash is almost as overblown as the hype. I spent years deep in Buddhist practice, went on retreats, meditated daily — and then slowly discovered that half the gurus evangelizing it were alcoholics, abusers, or running Rolls-Royce-funded cults. Here's what the more careful research actually shows: there are three things meditation does reliably well, and they’re probably not what you've been promised. More importantly, almost everything you've been told about how to do it is wrong — starting with the idea that the goal is to quiet your mind. If your brain turns into a chaotic mess the moment you close your eyes, that's not a failure. That's the whole point. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/meditation/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:08:15 Skeptic Claim #1: Meditation Is Overhyped 00:22:45 Skeptic Claim #2: "Meditation Isn't for Me" 00:41:36 Meditation Isn't Safe or Helpful for Everyone 00:48:33 Skeptic Claim #3: The New-Agey, "Woo-Woo" Crowd Turns Me Off 01:01:01 A Secular, Grounded Alternative: Meditation Without Metaphysics 01:07:40 Are We Losing Something by Secularizing Meditation? 01:17:35 Conclusion: What Meditation Really Is ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Mark Manson?

  Welcome to Solved. I am Mark Manson and today we are talking about meditation and is it actually worth it? Have you ever had that moment when you're lying in bed at night, brain running like a browser with 47 tabs open, half of them playing audio and you think to yourself, "Maybe I should try that meditation thing." And then somehow that thought alone stresses you out even more? Here's the thing that nobody tells you about meditation. The people who swear by it the most are often the worst advertisements for it. I spent years studying eastern philosophy, reading every guru I could find, and then slowly realized that most of those gurus were raging alcoholics, serial abusers, and running cult-like cash grabs with fleets of Rolls Royces.

• 0:43Mark Manson?

  I'm actually not making any of those things up, but we will get into that in a minute. These were not exactly the poster children for inner peace, and yet meditation kept getting sold to us as a magic pill. Less stress, more focus, emotional healing, spiritual awakening, permanent calm, basically everything short of six-pack abs and a winning lottery ticket. Which sucks because the only thing I actually need are six-pack abs and a winning lottery ticket. God damn it, meditation. So here's the thing, when you meditate for a while, that you eventually discover. You don't suck at meditation because something's wrong with you, or you don't have enough willpower or stamina. You suck at meditation because you've been given the wrong definition of what good meditation actually is.

• 1:25Mark Manson?

  You think the goal is to empty your mind and find some pure peaceful consciousness hiding underneath all the mental clutter, when the actual point is to see the clutter clearly for the first time and realize that you were never in control of it in the first place. Nope. In fact, it's clutter all the way down. So in this episode of Solved, we are going to talk about why the early research on meditation was so wildly overhyped, and what the more careful recent science actually says it can and can't do for you. We're going to talk about the three specific benefits of meditation that are genuinely validated, and why none of them are the ones that you've been promised by all the gurus. We'll discuss why the most common instruction that people get about meditation, which is

• 2:06Mark Manson?

  "sit quietly and think about nothing," is actually terrible advice that is pretty much guaranteed to fail. We'll discuss the invisible reason why so many people resist meditation that has nothing to do with time, patience, or discipline, and everything to do with what they're afraid to find out. We'll get into why the people who meditated for decades and were supposed to have it all figured out turned out to be some of the worst human beings imaginable, and what that tells us about what meditation can and can't do for us. We'll discuss treating meditation as an intervention versus treating it as a skill, and why confusing those two things is actually responsible for almost all of the disappointment around it. We'll get into why your racing chaotic monkey mind is not the obstacle of meditation. It's actually

• 2:48Mark Manson?

  the first real sign that it's working. We'll touch on the one form of meditation that most people have never tried that is actually backed by research, requires zero stillness, and you can still do it while cleaning your house, and why the real reason to meditate has nothing to do with happiness, productivity, or stress. So what if the problem isn't that meditation doesn't work, but more like you've been trying to use a skill-building practice as a miracle cure this entire time? Because once you stop expecting meditation to fix things and start seeing it for what it actually is, a process for better understanding your own mind, it stops feeling like another thing you're failing at. It stops feeling like spiritual homework, and it starts feeling like something that might have been worth your time all along.

• 3:31Mark Manson?

  I am three-time number one New York Times bestselling author, Mark Manson, and this is Drew Burney, my co-host, producer, lead researcher, and the only man to be formally uninvited to two silent meditation retreats. You get formally uninvited to a lot of things, Drew.

• 3:48Mark Manson?

  Is that how we're starting this?

• 3:51Mark Manson?

  Just with some big ass alms? Oh my God, here we go. Oh my God. And this is Solved, the most comprehensive podcast in the world, where every episode, we aim to solve one burning question in your life, once and for all.

• 4:14Mark Manson?

  It might be useful first for me to just kind of give a two-minute summary of my journey and my experience with meditation. So, I discovered meditation as a teenager.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Like most teenagers do.

• 4:27Mark Manson?

  I was a weird teenager. I got really into eastern spirituality and philosophy. I started reading a lot of Buddhist texts. I think in hindsight, as someone who struggled with ADHD, I found meditation to be very therapeutic or medicative in many ways. I found it helpful to help me manage my own impulses and attention, or at least become more aware of them. So I got really, really into it. And as somebody who grew up in the Bible Belt, in a very Christian household, in a very Christian environment, who was not Christian, discovering Buddhism felt like finding water in a desert. And it became a big part of my identity when I was in university.

• 5:07Mark Manson?

  I went to Buddhist centers, I went on retreats, I meditated every day for multiple years. It was a very big part of my life and a very big part of my identity. It was very important to me for a long time. As I got older, I started drifting away from it. So actually, if you look at my early writing, I talk about meditation quite a bit, like way back when I started writing online, like 2008 through 2012, meditation would come up in a lot of articles and a lot of what I talked about. And then it slowly started disappearing and you kind of stopped mentioning it. And that is just because in my personal life, I started to drift away from it.

• 5:47Mark Manson?

  The older I got, the less consistent I was with it, the less I felt called to do it. There are a lot of reasons for that. I'm sure we'll talk about them in this episode. And then by the time I got into my 30s... It became a very sporadic practice for me. It became almost like a, you know, break in case of emergency type situation.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, yeah.

• 6:10Mark Manson?

  So, two, three years, don't meditate at all, and then like, life goes to shit. And I'm like, oh, I need to like, get back on the mat and start meditating again.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Very much like church for some people, right?

• 6:20Mark Manson?

  Ironically, yes.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 6:23Mark Manson?

  So that leads me to today, where I'm like, I don't, I like, I've maybe meditated. I could probably count on two hands how many times I've meditated in the last five years. And I don't feel particularly compelled to meditate frequently. What's interesting in all that time is that when I started meditating, and this is, so this is the second surprise. When I started meditating, when I was very into meditation in the 2000s and early 2010s, the early research on meditation was phenomenal. People were raving about it, psychologists were extremely excited about it. You started to see it get integrated in all sorts of therapeutic modalities. People were teaching it everywhere. Interestingly, in the 15 years since, a lot more data's come in, a lot more research has been done.

• 7:07Mark Manson?

  And it turns out that the meditation's efficacy as an intervention is spotty.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:14Mark Manson?

  Let's say. It's uneven and not so clear cut.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  One of the reasons like we, I wanted to do this episode this way was because when I started talking to people about, you know, meditation, do they meditate? What do they think of meditation? Especially like people on the team, a lot of them were like, I'm not sure I get it, you know?

• 7:33Mark Manson?

  I was surprised by that.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:35Mark Manson?

  I mean, we're in the self-help industry, right? Like, this is a

• 7:37Speaker 01

  It's a big thing, right?

• 7:38Mark Manson?

  This is a self-improvement podcast. I kind of figured everybody on the team would have at least done it before, or at least tried it, or aspired to do it.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  A lot of skepticism.

• 7:47Mark Manson?

  A lot of people on the team were like, yeah, I don't get it. I never understood why. I never liked it.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, so this is gonna be a little bit of a, kind of a response to the skeptics of meditation. And you're gonna see there's just a lot of nuance. There's kind of three big buckets that I've found that people are skeptical around.

• 8:05Mark Manson?

  Okay.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  And we'll kind of go through the finer points of each one of those. And yeah, that's, that's kind of how I want to approach this.

• 8:10Mark Manson?

  Okay.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  That's, all right, should we get into it?

• 8:12Mark Manson?

  Let's get into it.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Let's do it, all right.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  This first bucket of skepticism, I think you could call it, is that meditation is overhyped. You already mentioned like that early research that came out. There was a lot of hype. There was a lot of hype. It was like, oh, a study would come out. And it was like, oh, my God, it fixed this for this person, or it made them less anxious, less depressed. It made the like, fixed their relationships.

• 8:38Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  All of these things, right? All of these claims came as stress relief, productivity enhancement, emotional healing, leadership development, creativity boost, even just like the manifestations and the spiritual awakenings and enlightenment and all of these.

• 8:52Mark Manson?

  It's literally a magic pill.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  When, yes, when you, now, when you say that this one thing fixes everything, the rational response is skepticism there, right?

• 9:01Mark Manson?

  You would think. It's funny because I distinctly recall there being mainstream articles back in the 2000s. I think one of them was literally called meditation, why everyone should do it. I wrote an article called Why You Should Meditate. I think of our generation of like that era.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:17Mark Manson?

  2000s up through like maybe 2012, 2015. It was just the conventional wisdom.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:22Mark Manson?

  It's like, this is not just an eastern spirituality thing. Everybody should be doing it.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, everyone should do it and it will fix everything. Every problem you might have, it can do something for you at least, right? And then there were just, just common marketing claims like you're gonna have, you know, permanent happiness, permanent calm, enlightenment, confidence. These aren't, these aren't really like clinical or medical or even like psychological endpoints. You can't reliably produce these through standard meditation interventions. When you like really do careful studies and all this, as we'll see, a lot of these claims, yes, they are definitely overhyped. There's a little bit of a category error going on here because people, it was marketed as a treatment for any life problem.

• 10:07Mark Manson?

  Everything.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Basically, right? But really what the more careful research has kind of shown is that it's more of a skill. And that's a thing that's gonna come up a lot. It's a trainable skill and with skills, you know, outcomes are usually very gradual.

• 10:21Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  They're also very sensitive to like the instruction quality that you get, your teacher or the method or whatever you're using. It's very sensitive to that. Any skill is highly variable across. Individuals, right? Some people are better at it, some people aren't. Some people are naturally good at it, some people really have to work at it.

• 10:38Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  There's a lot of individual variation around it.

• 10:40Mark Manson?

  That checks out with my experience. I think one of the reasons I have not felt very motivated to meditate in the last 10 years is I do feel like I gained that skill and I have it, right? Like, so for example, in my twenties,

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:53Mark Manson?

  the first time I was able to look at one of my emotions and question the validity of it. That was profound. It was very, it was like, oh my God, I've never done this before. I've never actually considered that like I'm being irrational and I can't trust myself. Whereas like, dude, at 40, I do, that's like a daily occurrence where I'm like, I'm probably being irrational right now. I probably shouldn't trust myself so much. So it is, there's a lot of stuff that the first time you do it or the first 10 times you do it, it strikes you as like, oh my God, I can't, this is like so huge. This is massive. But once you've learned how to do it, you can kind of just call it. Like, I don't need to go sit on a mat to sit, like, to really take a moment and think deeply

• 11:37Mark Manson?

  about my impulses or my thought patterns or, you know, what are my motivations for pursuing this certain goal? Like, are they, are they actually genuine or am I kidding myself? Like, those are things you, you, once you've learned how to do it, you can kind of just summon it at will at any point.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  I, I think the point you're bringing up is going to be an important one that will come up repeatedly, which is that mindfulness is really the goal here. And meditation is just a tool for mindfulness, right? Being more mindful. So what you're saying is I've learned how to be mindful in my life.

• 12:05Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Throughout, like, just in ordinary everyday life. That's kind of the goal. And I, I mean, I would still say you could probably still get some benefit from meditation as a skill. You need to do some maintenance on the skill, right? You still need to practice it. But yeah, the goal really is mindfulness. As we'll, as we'll see, meditation is not the only way to achieve that. Meditation as a skill gives you all these other skills. And once you have those, you can apply those in your life over and over again. And that's a practice in itself.

• 12:31Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Too, right?

• 12:32Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Okay. Meditation got more and more introduced to the West. And by the like 90s, 2000s, 2010s, it had kind of reached a bit of a fever pitch at that point. And also at that same time, like information technology was taking off. And so you got all the marketing hype around it as well. So apps came out or online courses or these retreats where you could reach people from far-flung places. And so there was a little bit of a perfect storm there where the cultural moment hit this technological moment and all of that was amplified as well. So that's where a lot of the hype came from too.

• 13:04Mark Manson?

  So I agree with everything you just said, and I think part of the internet, it led the hype into a fever pitch, but I think it ultimately was part of its undoing as well. I remember there was a point in my twenties where I was like reading all these books and studying all these teachers and gurus and all this stuff. And I started to realize that like pretty much all of them are just a mess, right? Like, like, like Shogrum Trumpa was like a raging alcoholic and physically abusive to his followers. Alan Watts was an alcoholic. There was a guy named Adidas who like sexually abused his followers. There's Osho who like took all of his followers money and bought 40 Rolls Royces with it. Like it just, there's like example after example after example of these like supposedly

• 13:49Mark Manson?

  enlightened gurus who like came to the West to teach meditation and all of the, the physical and psychological benefits of it. And then it's like, if you look closely at, at their character and their actions and their behavior, they were fucking terrible people and total scumbags. And so that it just like, for me, that just raised a lot of red flags. I'm like, okay, if the dude who's literally meditating eight hours a day is like stealing people's money and sexually harassing women who attend his ashram, like.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  It can't be that.

• 14:18Mark Manson?

  It can't be that great.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's not a fix-all for shitty personality, that's for sure. I mean, as we'll see.

• 14:25Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Shining the light on it through information technology was definitely part of his downfall as well. But there's, I think there is a middle ground we can kind of achieve though too. So, but the, the science, when they started to do more, they started to do better studies on this. Definitely, you know, there was, early on, there were definitely people saying, you know. First of all, the definitions you're using of meditation or mindfulness or whatever, they're inconsistent, they're weak, they're wishy-washy. You're not using proper controls. Or you're comparing somebody to doing nothing when maybe what about comparing it to say, therapy or exercise or all these other types of things? Does it do any better than that? They weren't doing that. Publication bias too. There was just a lot of excitement around it. People, you know, you have a positive finding, it's probably going to get published,

• 15:10Speaker 01

  whereas the negative ones weren't. All of these things were going on. And once they started to do better studies though, there were a few things that came out and like, okay, yeah, it actually does do some good around certain areas.

• 15:24Mark Manson?

  Okay. So legit benefits.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Legit benefits are stress reduction and management, not stress elimination. It doesn't free you of all stress in your life or anything like that. It basically though, meditation programs, especially like the meditation based stress reduction programs that are like specifically for stress reduction. They are typically, it's like an eight week program though. It's fairly intense.

• 15:48Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  It's highly structured. They have repeatable, I believe John Kabat-Zinn was actually, who was an early proponent in the West of meditation. I believe he was very instrumental in developing these programs. But it's highly structured. They have like very specific outcomes for them. They have careful controls when they've done all of this. That actually does work. Stress reduction, stress management. Again, it doesn't eliminate the stress in your life, but you have reduced reactivity, better physiological recovery too. You know, we talked in the resilience episode about like heart rate variability and that kind of stuff. It definitely helps with that. So stress reduction, yes, sure. That can definitely help with that. Similarly, along those same lines, emotional regulation as well.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  It's not like suppression of your emotions, obviously. It's more about noticing them and uncoupling from them. You've talked a lot about this, unfusing from your emotions.

• 16:41Mark Manson?

  It's, you know, CBT talks about that gap between

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:45Mark Manson?

  action, reaction and how, or stimulus and response. And meditation is definitely a tool that widens that gap in your mind.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  It's a little wedge right in there.

• 16:55Mark Manson?

  You start to see like, oh, I do get to choose how I behave in this situation.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  The whole de-centering thing around like unfusing from your emotions, seeing Seeing emotions as experiences.

• 17:06Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  Uh, rather than like, identity, I think is a real big one. That was for me, anyway.

• 17:11Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Um, and this has been replicated over and over again in, in studies. And then finally, to like, attentional control. Um, so it does, and we just did this whole thing on focus.

• 17:21Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  And it, it's not like it gives you like this laser focus forever. It basically, though, it makes you aware of when your mind is wondering.

• 17:30Mark Manson?

  When you're messing up, yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  And helps you to reorient back to whatever you were trying to focus on or anchor on, or whatever it is.

• 17:35Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  So like meditation is just kind of that. That is a huge part of the practice. Oh, my mind's wondering, come back to the breath, or come back to the bodily sensations, or the mantra, or whatever I was aiming to do during this meditation session. Just kind of gets you those like reps, and then you can apply that to, uh, when, when you're trying to get something done.

• 17:53Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  And focus on something. There are benefits.

• 17:56Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  And they're, they are validated.

• 17:58Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  It's just that it's not like this cure-all, catch-all practice that you can do, and all of a sudden, your life is going to be amazing.

• 18:05Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Right? I think most people kind of understand that on some level, but there's still that hype out there.

• 18:09Mark Manson?

  I think a lot of that is a residue of the religious background of meditation, right? Cause it's, when it.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:16Mark Manson?

  It ultimately, it is a Buddhist practice. It is an eastern spiritual practice. And when it came over, it was very much marketed as a spiritual practice. And generally speaking, spiritual practices are, they do kind of promise salvation and, and a cure-all. Like, that's kind of what, that's their whole thing. So there, there just seems to be kind of an awkward transition into the actual psychological literature, where it's like, okay, this is a useful tool. It's helpful at the margins in a number of different ways. Um, some people will probably get a lot of benefit out of it. A lot of people won't get benefit out of it. Like, pretty much everything else in psychology. That sits very awkwardly with the religious and spiritual heritage of the practice.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. We'll get a little bit more into the spiritual stuff a little bit later, but there's a lot of researchers who say that what we should really be treating it like is like weight training, or, or, or strength training in some way, rather than like a, a treatment. Okay? So it's, again, it's a skill, and it's a practice that you have to kind of keep up on. There's kind of a dose dependency to it, too. You have to be consistent with it.

• 19:22Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  You have to have good instruction for it, which is why I usually encourage people to either go to like a meditation center or get an app or, you know, find some sort of structure and don't just jump into it like that. And like you said, too, the person has to fit the practice as well.

• 19:36Mark Manson?

  Mm hmm.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  I think the main framing here is that, like, you treat it as a skill, not as like this. It's not a replacement for therapy. It's not a replacement for other healthy behaviors by any means.

• 19:47Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  It's it's a skill you can develop and has a very specific way that it can help you. It's not not this magical pill.

• 19:55Mark Manson?

  I will point out that framing it as a skill, I think that. So I agree with that, but I also see how it derails people. One of my best friends is is a meditation teacher. He's been meditating intensely his entire adult life. He goes on month long retreats. It's like, it's what he does. And one of the things that he I've heard him say multiple times is that like the most common objection that he hears from students is they say, oh, I'm not good at this. And and and his response is always, nobody is good at this. You're not supposed to be good at this. Like, it's not about getting good at. He he.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:33Mark Manson?

  He's told me a million times. He's like, dude, I I meditate more than anybody I know. And he's like, I sit down and within 10 seconds, my my brain's fucking thinking about my cereal or like, you know, what was on TV last night. You know, so he he said, you never turn that off. He said, what improves is your relationship with it.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  All right, that's a good caveat. That's a good framing and also leads us right into this this next bucket.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  So what I want to do in this section is kind of go through some of these common claims that people are common objections.

• 21:02Mark Manson?

  Okay.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  That people make. And then we can kind of, I don't want to say dismantle them because some of them I think are very legit. The first one that I hear so a lot is just, I can't sit still. All right. And and and Mark, as somebody with ADHD, I think you probably relate to this somewhat, but you meditated for a long time, too. So you you figured it out, right?

• 21:20Mark Manson?

  Yeah, I went on multiple multi day retreats. It's funny because as soon as you said that, it reminded me actually of of a former teacher of mine who used to always, whenever you said something like that. Whenever you're like, I can't sit still, he'd always interrupt you and say, you can, you choose not to. It was really fucking annoying.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  That's so true.

• 21:38Mark Manson?

  Because he was right.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  But I mean, it is a real thing. Like, there are some people who just have a high baseline of arousal,

• 21:45Mark Manson?

  Sure.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Restlessness, ADHD, or other anxiety disorders.

• 21:49Mark Manson?

  It's hard.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Intolerance to stillness sometimes, too. Just like boredom, or just sitting there, it can feel unsafe for some people, for sure.

• 21:57Mark Manson?

  Dude, I will tell you, it's

• 21:59Speaker 01

  It's one of the hardest things to do.

• 22:00Mark Manson?

  Yes. It's like, I did one three-day retreat. The second day of that retreat is like one of the most difficult days of my entire life. It was, it was torture. It was absolute torture. It was, I was physically in pain, because when you sit for 14 hours a day, don't move, don't do anything, like, your body starts cramping up and things get sore. I was in physical pain. It was just mental anguish. It was just like you're sitting there. I remember I had like a four or five hour stretch where I had a commercial jingle stuck in my head.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 22:32Mark Manson?

  And I was like, get out of my fucking head, like, for the love of God.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Remember what it was?

• 22:37Mark Manson?

  It was like, give me a break, give me a break.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Our track is insane.

• 22:42Mark Manson?

  It was on level with, I don't remember what it was, but it was, it was something like that. And it was just like, uh, and I remember we had, everybody at the retreat had an hour a day with the Zen Master, or not an hour, like a half an hour or something like that. And so I remember I just walked in there and I was like, I have this jingle in my head, like, please help me get it out. And of course, he was like, he was like, the more you resist it, the more it's gonna stay. And I'm like, god damn it.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  But that's, that's absolutely true.

• 23:10Mark Manson?

  It's true.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  The, the instruction to sit quietly and think about nothing, that is not meditation. And any, any teacher who knows anything is not gonna tell you to do that. It's a terrible instruction, especially for beginners.

• 23:22Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Okay, so usually what you do is you're giving your mind something to do and you're trying to, you know, keep on that.

• 23:27Mark Manson?

  So what happens, what happens on most retreats is that there's an understanding that you need some variability. So like, what will often happen is that you, you will go through, so you'll sit for maybe 45 minutes to an hour. Obviously, that starts to get painful for a lot of people. So then what, what they'll do is they'll do walking meditations for like 30 to 45 minutes. Then you'll come back and sit for another hour. Then you'll do like another walking. And then on some retreats, what you'll do is there'll be like chores, right? So it's like you can do Some of the food prep or the cleanup or sweeping the floor and the idea is that you're supposed to be mindful as you're doing it.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Chop wood, carry water.

• 24:05Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, that's exactly what I was going to say is that there's like meditation can take many forms. It's not just sitting.

• 24:10Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  And staring at the wall and trying to empty your mind. That's not what it is necessarily. Walking meditation, though, is a very well validated, actually, form of meditation. It's part of that mindfulness based stress reduction. Actually, they build that into it. It's part of John Cabot's and helped develop that as well. And it's like this, the movement really distributes your attention that way. So it's not all just like up here in your little head, right behind your eyeballs.

• 24:35Mark Manson?

  Yeah, I actually like it. I like it better because it's like you're supposed to focus on your feet and exactly where you place your feet.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:41Mark Manson?

  And you're supposed to feel every part of the floor. So it's like when your heel touches, you feel your heel. And when the ball of your foot touches, you feel the ball of your foot.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:50Mark Manson?

  It's actually very nice.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Yes, distributed attention. Like, so it's attention on your movement, attention on bodily sensations, on the environment around you too. That's meditation. It's mindfulness of being mindful of your environment, right? The studies on walking meditation, you have improved mood, reduced stress and anxiety, and, yeah, I mean, get your steps in, right? As an added bonus, right?

• 25:13Mark Manson?

  Um, 9,548.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  If that works, yeah. The other, the other thing you said, though, too, like the chores thing, I found this, there's this book by, it's this guy called, named Shokei Matsumoto. He was this Japanese monk, and it's a monk's guide to cleaning house and mind. And he actually argued his preferred form of meditation was cleaning. And if you ever have been to like a monastery, or read anything about monasteries, like cleaning is a huge part of their daily routine. Like, every single day, they spend hours cleaning. And they're supposed to do it very, very mindfully and get in a meditative state.

• 25:48Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  When they clean. In his book, he talks about how, you know, cleaning is a form of mindfulness because it's a practice.

• 25:55Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  And you don't see it as a chore necessarily. And then also, like, some of the other principles he talks about is like, the outer, outer order supports kind of inner calm or inner clarity, at least, too. Like, your, your, your outer environment often reflects your inner environment, right?

• 26:09Mark Manson?

  And we talked about this on the focus episode, that there actually is research that shows that a decluttered environment is, is helpful for focus.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Another benefit of it, the two, doing small tasks with full intention, like you were talking about with the walking, like, put your heel to toe, heel to toe. When you're cleaning, too, it's not just, you're just mindlessly trying to get things in order, it's like you are consciously, these small, tiny little tasks, he encourages you to pay very, very close attention and do them very, very intentionally. A respect for everyday objects as temporary companions, too, I kind of like, this is a little bit out there, a little bit, but I did like this, because, you know, monks, they have very, very few possessions, and each one of the, I think, he spends time in this book going through why he owns everything that he owns, that's a very small number of things. But you have a respect for these objects in your life as kind of these temporary companions,

• 26:59Speaker 01

  and it reminds you that everything's temporary and impermanent, right? And you need to take care of these things. Then there's the routine aspect to it. One of the things he talks about, too, is care over perfection, that I really liked, too. Cleaning, it's about caring for life as it is, not for like, not for, it's not self-improvement, it's just, it's something you just need to do. The whole point, though, is that you don't have to sit in a room, quiet, staring at the wall. You can, there's lots of different ways to meditate. You can meditate in a, on a crowded bus, or in a, in an airport, I've had to do this before, because I can just sit there and-

• 27:34Mark Manson?

  It can be very therapeutic.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  It can, it can absolutely be. This whole stereotype of meditate, meditating, you know, sitting cross-legged on a pillow or whatever, that, no, you don't have to do it that way.

• 27:45Mark Manson?

  To this point, I'll tell you a story. So, the first time I went to India, I, I went to Bodhgaya, which is supposedly where the, the tree is that the Buddha sat under and became enlightened for the first time, the Bodhi Tree. And it's cool, there's like, a big temple there now, and, and actually, a lot of monks do pilgrimages there, and they'll sleep under the Bodhi Tree, the way the Buddha did. So, it's just like, beautiful, but it, the town is tiny, it's in the, in the middle of nowhere, you have to, you have to fly, it's kind of like northwest India, so you like, fly to this town called Gaya, and then you have to take, like, you have to drive a couple hours out there, and then there's basically just a temple and a- You know, a couple of roads and that's it.

• 28:26Mark Manson?

  And so I got all the way out there and I, I remember I ended up sharing a tuk tuk with this young English guy and, and he was so excited to be there and I was like, oh, cool. Are you a Buddhist? And, and he was like, no, but I'm really excited to meditate here. I was like, oh, that's cool. What's your meditation practice? And he was like, oh, I've never meditated before, but I figured how cool would it be to learn how to meditate under the Bodhi tree? And I just looked at him, I'm like, dude, you realize there's YouTube videos? Like, you didn't have to come all the way out here. It's, it's a, you could have just stayed at home, watched a video and decided if you liked it first before you.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  And gotten the same result out of it.

• 29:05Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. There's definitely like that elevation of, you know, sacred places and stuff where it's like, actually the most sacred of places is the, are the most mundane.

• 29:14Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 29:15Mark Manson?

  And I think a, a big misconception that people have about meditation is that it, it literally can be done anywhere.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:22Mark Manson?

  You can do it on a bus. You can do it on a subway. You can do it in a taxi. You can do it on an airplane. Like it is, it is simply the, the practice of pure awareness and, and directing your, your attention towards something and that's it.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, it is. Uh, well, okay. That gets us into this next objection, which is my mind is too busy. But I just don't feel calm and so it's just not working. Right? Like I'm trying to meditate, my mind's just racing. It doesn't work. Like, you know, when actually like that observation is usually the first accurate observation that meditation produces for people. It's like, oh, my mind is fucking crazy.

• 30:04Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  That is meditation. That's like noticing that is like actually probably the first and most important step.

• 30:09Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Many of the beginners just, they implicitly believe that meditation means having fewer thoughts and that's not it.

• 30:16Mark Manson?

  Yeah. The, the misconception is that you're supposed to get rid of that craziness. Whereas you're actually supposed to just observe the craziness and detach yourself from it. It's actually very interesting. I've seen a lot of people come into meditation groups for the first time, first time in their life they've meditated. In Buddhism, it's often called the monkey mind. Right? It's like when you sit down and you try to focus on your breath and your, your brain starts thinking about, you know, like. Cheesecake and you know what your sister texted you last Wednesday and what flavor chocolate you want to buy on your way home like that it's that's the monkey mind it's just like this spontaneous uncontrollable impulses of thought and whiffs of emotion and and it's just it happens to you like you realize that you're not actually in

• 31:01Mark Manson?

  control of it and so often meditation teachers like that they always start out talking about the monkey mind and if people are new it's like you know observe the monkey mind you're not you're not gonna get it to stop you're you're the goal is to just be aware that it's there and watch it and try to like make peace with it but it's interesting because a lot of people don't even get as far as realizing that like they're so identified with the monkey mind that they don't realize that it is a monkey mind

• 31:25Speaker 01

  Right

• 31:26Mark Manson?

  Right so it's like they're so locked into what cheesecake they like and what flavor chocolate they're gonna buy on the way home and what their sister texted them that they don't even realize that they're out of control like that that's not them right it's it's that that's something you can observe in the first place so it's like there's so many layers to this stuff

• 31:48Speaker 01

  I think one of the little mini breakthroughs I had with meditation too and and most people do at some point is that though like those thoughts you're having that racing mind you're having all of that is really no different than a car passing in front of you on the street or somebody having a conversation with you and like those things are just happening to you

• 32:07Mark Manson?

  Yeah

• 32:08Speaker 01

  And so yeah that separation you get between those two things is really the point and noticing that yeah I do have this monkey mind and it's probably never gonna go away it won't go away actually but just like having a different relationship with it is kind of a goal there yeah

• 32:22Mark Manson?

  My my first Zen master used to compare it to watching clouds go by

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Yeah yeah what are you gonna do

• 32:27Mark Manson?

  And he he said he's like some clouds are stormy and rainy and some clouds are beautiful and some clouds look like something and some clouds look like nothing and they all come and go and and he was like it's silly to get attached to them

• 32:42Speaker 01

  The other common metaphor too is if you're sitting under a bridge and the cars are going what are you gonna do

• 32:48Mark Manson?

  Yeah

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Some of them are big loud trucks some of them are tiny quiet little EVs right or whatever what are you gonna do

• 32:54Mark Manson?

  Yeah

• 32:54Speaker 01

  It's just

• 32:55Mark Manson?

  And it's useful because it's like sometimes Sometimes there is gonna be a big rain cloud and a thunderstorm that's gonna come over and you can either get really upset about it, or just remember like, oh, it's just a cloud. It's gonna go by.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  The takeaway here, though, with this is that meditation, it doesn't reveal this calm mind that you have under all of this clutter. That's not it at all. It reveals the mind that you actually have.

• 33:17Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 33:18Speaker 01

  It's like, like, like, people think, oh, what I'm gonna do is remove all of this clutter, and I will find this very centered, peaceful mind, pure mind, right? Just pure, pure consciousness. And I guess that is probably there, sure, but that's not, you're not revealing the mind that's there under all this clutter. You're revealing that your mind is cluttered. And so if your mind feels too busy, if your mind, if you don't feel calm during it, yeah, that's, that's kind of the point, especially early on.

• 33:44Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Is just noticing that. Now, okay, now this next one, this next objection, I have a lot of sympathy for, in some ways, I guess, anyway, which is, I don't have time. I don't have the time for it. I'm probably not the best person to argue against this one, because, like, I don't have kids, I set my own schedule, flexible schedule that I have, I have plenty of time where I can fit in things like this throughout my day.

• 34:04Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  And so I don't struggle with this as much as some people.

• 34:08Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Time scarcity is a thing.

• 34:10Mark Manson?

  It's

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Right? But the, the thing I do come back to is, okay, you don't have to sit for 20 minutes, you don't have to sit for 10 minutes. What about one minute?

• 34:19Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Take one minute. You can find one minute at any part of your day where you can meditate. You could be driving and you could meditate. Like we just said, you can do it anywhere.

• 34:27Mark Manson?

  Do it while you're doing chores, you can do it while you're taking a shower.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. But, you know, a lot of people, like, a few people on team, I was talking to them, like, well, you know, they say, everybody, like, my therapist, or whoever, they tell me that first thing in the morning, just get up and do, you know, 10 minutes or whatever. Like, I wake up out of bed, I'm like, I'm thinking about 10 million different things, and I'm, I'm like, checking emails already, I'm getting ready, I'm brushing my teeth, I'm like, I'm trying to get, yes, of course, it's hard.

• 34:53Mark Manson?

  It's hard. I mean, again, I, I used to have a teacher who said that anytime you feel like you don't, don't have time to meditate, means that, that you really need to meditate.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:04Mark Manson?

  Because if, if, if, if your life was, was organized, and, and you were actually in control of, of your day, you wouldn't feel like you didn't have time to meditate.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  So, so Zenya found a really good, Zenya on the research team, she found a really good quote, which is, everybody should probably meditate for about 20 minutes a day. If you're busy, it should be an hour.

• 35:24Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  That was like, yeah, okay. So if you think you're too busy to meditate, you definitely should.

• 35:30Mark Manson?

  Yeah, which I think there's, there is wisdom in that. I definitely sympathize with it. I'm now speaking as somebody who feels like he doesn't have enough time to meditate each day. But I get the argument in that like, the, if you do start meditating, say 10, 15 minutes a day, you're probably gonna have better awareness, you're gonna be more efficient with your time with everything, you're gonna make better decisions, you're gonna notice when you're, when you're wasting time doing something that you don't need to be doing. That would be the, the argument for it.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Like if there's like a single mom working two jobs.

• 36:03Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Multiple kids, all this craziness going on. I'm not gonna sit here and say, well, you just need to meditate.

• 36:08Mark Manson?

  Like, I, I think so much of this comes down to what, what are your goals? So I'll say this, the only times that I feel like I need to meditate is when I'm really stressed and anxious. You know, and I, I just feel overwhelmed by my life at that moment. That is when I do feel like I need to go back to it. A lot of times these days, what, what I see a lot is that meditation's kind of prescribed for these like hardcore, super productive, lock-in, bro.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 36:35Mark Manson?

  We're gonna work 12-hour days. That doesn't feel super necessary to me. That's, to me, my, the benefits I've always gotten from meditation have been much more emotional.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  I would 100% agree with that. And actually, like the, the, what, the impetus for me, starting back up last year with meditation was very much around. I was just like, a bit emotionally dysregulated and I'm like, oh, okay, I need to like kind of.

• 37:00Mark Manson?

  Chill.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Chill. Yeah.

• 37:02Mark Manson?

  Get a hold of myself.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Right, right, yeah.

• 37:04Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Okay, so the, I'll give you one more objection here. It's kind of a little bit of a bonus objection because I actually don't think people actually say this out loud.

• 37:13Mark Manson?

  Okay.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  But it's an objection, which is, if this works, I'm gonna have to change some things.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  Right? Increased awareness around things can be very, very uncomfortable. Right? And so first of all, okay, yeah, oh, I got this monkey mind. It's it's pretty crazy. All right. Once you get past that, then you start realizing, oh, my, maybe I'm not really super aligned with my values right now in my job or my relationships or unhealthy coping habits that I have.

• 37:41Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  This is a little bit more subtle. Like I said, nobody actually says this, I think, but I think there's this little bit of a subconscious fear of it.

• 37:46Mark Manson?

  I think this this is a resistance that people have towards a lot of things.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 37:50Mark Manson?

  Like, I think a lot of people don't go to therapy.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Change in general.

• 37:53Mark Manson?

  Because of this. I think a lot of people don't go to marriage counseling because of this. I think a lot of people.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  I don't want to know what thoughts are in there.

• 37:58Mark Manson?

  Yeah, people don't journal because of this, right? Because it's like, eh, I'd rather be unaware of.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:05Mark Manson?

  Of what's going on.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  If this is the case, I mean, I'm not sure I can help you with that necessarily. But I I think it's a good thing to be aware of is like, where are you? If you have this kind of like, just vague resistance to it, that could be it. And that might be worth something examining as well.

• 38:23Mark Manson?

  I think it's a very different statement. And again, this this could be true for almost almost any intervention, but I'll I'll say it specifically for meditation. If I meet somebody who's never meditated in their life and they're like, hmm, not worth the trouble. Uh, I don't, I don't give that a lot of credit. Whereas if I meet somebody who has meditated quite a bit, who's tried it, who's taken like, gone to classes, has downloaded an app or something. And maybe they've put in a good 10, 20 sessions. And then they're like, doesn't seem worth it for me. I give that a lot of credit.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 38:59Mark Manson?

  You know, I'm like, okay, people know themselves. They know what works for them. They know what, how their particular brain works and what seems to help them. And I I I'm under no illusion, like I said, these days, I'm under no illusions that meditation is a great solution for everybody. I think it's a, it's one of many tools. And I think for some people, it's a, it's a very high leverage tool. And I think for other people, it's a very low leverage tool. But yeah, it's, it's, it's kind of like people who've never gone to therapy who are like, what's the point of therapy? Right? It's like, well, you should go before you make that decision.

• 39:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:29Mark Manson?

  Um, and I think it's the same with meditation. Like, you should at least do it before you discount it and decide it's not worth the time or effort.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, for sure. And all those objections I just went over, I mean, they're, they're, they're common objections. They're ones, I think, that have a. There's a rebuttal to them.

• 39:44Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  There's a, there's a, a good case to be made against them. But that does bring us to, there are probably some people, like you just mentioned, maybe they shouldn't be meditating. Uh, there's a few, there's a few things, some newer research has come out that actually meditation can, in some cases, a few cases, but in some cases can be harmful.

• 40:02Mark Manson?

  Yep.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Um, it can increase anxiety more, it can make you ruminate more. Um, there's, you know, certain people, people who, who already have a calm demeanor, you know, and are good with solitude and, and introspective. Yeah, okay, you're, you're pretty prime for, uh, meditation and it's probably, you're gonna get something out of it and you're gonna enjoy it probably too. On the other hand, you know, people have experienced, especially people who've experienced like trauma in their past, I would tread very carefully around this.

• 40:33Mark Manson?

  Okay.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Because again, that cold, like sitting in silence, that I think for some people, your mind is probably gonna go straight to a lot of that trauma response that you have where there's conscious or just like a, a trauma response that you have, uh, in your body even too. There's, there's research to suggest that this can lead to some dysregulation, even dissociation at some point, right? Or even re-experiencing some of that trauma.

• 40:58Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  So i- if you do have a, a history of trauma, I would say, and you wanna do, and you, and you still wanna do meditation, okay? So maybe you do, you just don't, but if that's the case, it needs to be supervised and it needs to be highly structured.

• 41:12Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  And you need to go to somebody who knows what the hell they're doing. Not ju- don't just hop on YouTube and find like, oh, here's a trauma, uh, meditation, don't do that.

• 41:19Mark Manson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  This needs to be supervised and it needs to be, um, highly structured if you're gonna do it at all.

• 41:23Mark Manson?

  Did you find any numbers around like what percentage of people have some sort of negative reaction or? Cause I've seen, I've seen that this is something that is becoming more noted, uh, but I, I haven't seen like.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  I haven't seen any reliable numbers come up, um, but they're like, there's definitely, uh, in, in the more recent responses and critiques of the meditation, of the past meditation research. There's been several researchers who have pointed out that like, you guys are, are under-reporting the negative effects on this for sure. So we don't actually know exactly what the percentages are.

• 41:56Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  But it's definitely being under-reported.

• 41:58Mark Manson?

  There's some interesting, I mean, if you Google around, there's some interesting substacks and articles that have been written by people who found meditation to actually be very. Harmful.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:09Mark Manson?

  Uh, to them.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:10Mark Manson?

  Um, some interesting accounts out there.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:13Mark Manson?

  So, they're definitely out there. They definitely do exist. I, it seems like it's a very small minority of people, but.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah.

• 42:19Mark Manson?

  Uh.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  I think it is, but yeah, anybody with like a trauma background, um, necessarily, if you're high in anxiety too, and especially van anxiety disorder.

• 42:26Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  Like generalized anxiety or even, uh, OCD. While, yes, uh, you know, meditation can help with those things. Again, that needs to be supervised and, and highly structured too.

• 42:37Mark Manson?

  Probably depends on the person.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  That's a, I think that's a big, um, point we need to drive home too, is just that person practice fit.

• 42:44Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  It has to be there, and especially in these cases where you're dealing with mental health issues.

• 42:49Mark Manson?

  Well, it's funny because I don't think there's anything, I don't think there's any intervention that is, other than maybe exercise.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 42:58Mark Manson?

  That it, that is.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Blanket.

• 43:00Mark Manson?

  That is just universally positive. I think almost every, like, cause even therapy, one of the things that never gets broadcast about therapy is that five to 10% of people who go to therapy actually report feeling worse.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Right, yeah.

• 43:11Mark Manson?

  And it's, so there's, there is, really is nothing that is, that works for everybody.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  I would guess that meditation is probably about the same in five to 10% of people. It could actively make them worse.

• 43:20Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:21Mark Manson?

  Which obviously if it does, stop doing it.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Obviously, right, right. Okay, so that's it for that bucket of, uh, you know, the, the whole, it's not for me.

• 43:31Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  Okay, so again, some people, it's not for them.

• 43:34Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  It's true. I think though, finding ways to be more mindful in your life. I think that's probably just about for everybody. Uh, whether that's through meditation or not, that's, that you can decide for yourself, I think.

• 43:46Mark Manson?

  I, I just feel like there's, the, so, one of the things that's, that is unique about meditation is that it's so easy to try. It doesn't cost anything.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  Right, right. The downsides are really, yeah.

• 43:57Mark Manson?

  Right, it takes five, 10 minutes. You could, to give it a whirl, right? Like, you can, i- i- it's, there's so little upfront cost or there's so little barrier. It's not like therapy where it's, you've got to spend time finding a therapist and it costs hundreds of dollars and you need health insurance and you need all this shit. Like, meditation, like, you can literally just get online and find, you know, some audios or, uh, you, like an old Alan Watts meditation or something, like, there's so much stuff out there.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Now, for sure, for sure, yeah. I'm biased, I think people should absolutely try it out, like. Again, though, find the fit that's for you, if it's walking meditation, or cleaning, or whatever it is. And there's so many different styles. We're not going to go through all the styles of meditation. I'm just partial to kind of like Zen and mindfulness meditation, but you know, there's lots of different styles, compassion, caring and compassion type stuff. Many, many different.

• 44:50Mark Manson?

  Mantras, there's chants, there's, yeah.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  So yeah, give it a try.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Okay, so this last bucket of objections that we'll go over. This gets into one of your favorite topics, Mark, I think, I don't know. The woo-woo, new agey, pseudo-religious, I'm not into that whole thing, which I totally get that. And there is this whole.

• 45:17Mark Manson?

  Totally fair.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  Yes, very, very fair. There's this whole packaging, at least in one wing of meditation, where, like you mentioned, it came out of a lot of religious traditions, so there's a lot of spirituality tied to it.

• 45:29Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  And in the modern age, where, you know, kind of this new age, or new age adjacent, at least, kind of mindsets grab onto something, then they take it maybe a little too far. So, like, some of the claims that come out of it, you know, meditation helps you tap into this universal energy, whatever that means, right? It's very vague, of course. Chakras are big, right? And they treat them as like a literal anatomical or neurological phenomenon. There's all these enlightenment narratives that come around it, like if you meditate, you can become enlightened, and that's always kind of a vague concept. A cosmic consciousness that you're tapping into, all of these types of things, right, that really turns skeptical people off. You know, especially if you're kind of like a more scientifically minded person, you'll point out, hey, these claims aren't falsifiable, you can't prove these

• 46:15Speaker 01

  right or wrong. You're presenting these, like with chakras, you're presenting these like medical level advice or evidence, and it's not. There is just a general blurring of like empirical fact with subjective experience a lot of times, which I think that's a valid criticism.

• 46:30Mark Manson?

  It is, it's an interesting confluence of.

• 46:35Mark Manson?

  Different philosophical schools. So it's interesting, if you look at the modern self-help movement, where are these ideas originated? Or like the new age movement? Yeah. These things, these ideas about manifesting your future and the universe and a universal energy and a cosmic consciousness that we're all tapping into. A lot of this traces back to early 19th century America. There was a group of philosophers loosely known as the transcendentalists. The most prominent and probably respectable one was Emerson. But there was a whole group of them in the Northeast United States in the 1800s. And it kind of became popularized during the time to the point that they were traveling around and giving lectures.

• 47:19Mark Manson?

  And it kind of became like a whole movement of manifesting your future and asking the, they probably didn't use this exact language at the time, but it eventually transformed into a very populist version of transcendentalism known as new thought. And new thought in the 1900s was just very much what we would recognize as classic new age self-help today. In fact, the genre self-help came from a book, and I believe it was 1849, called Self-Help. This strain of thought has been, it's been around for centuries at this point. And throughout American history, it keeps getting readopted and repackaged for the next generation in a new form.

• 48:02Mark Manson?

  So in the early 20th century, there was a very popular book called As Man Thinketh, which was repackaged the same ideas for the new century. And then you get into the 1920s and the Great Depression, and you get Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill. And then by the 1950s, you get the power of positive thinking. And it's just like on and on and on. Up until 2000, you get The Secret. And it's just like this lineage of the same ideas. Being repackaged into new books and new formats and new seminars over and over and over again. And it's funny because like the strand, the DNA of this school of thought is kind of this unfalsifiable, lofty, generic, we are one with everything and we've lost touch

• 48:47Mark Manson?

  with our nature, the natural order, and we need to do certain practices to get back in touch with our nature. And if we do that, then we'll be really happy and get rich and everything will be great. It's interesting seeing the eastern philosophy that arrived in the 1960s and 70s because there are aspects of Buddhism and yoga, which is where the chakras come from, that cohere perfectly with new thought or new age thinking, right? It's, you know, Buddhist philosophy is very explicit of like, the self does not exist, that we are part of this, this kind of infinite nothingness.

• 49:27Mark Manson?

  In Buddhist philosophy, it's emptiness, but it is kind of this infinite oceanic existence that we all kind of float in, in various, various ways and forms. There is this idea of kind of the shedding of self, the return to your true nature, the removing of illusions and attachments, and of course, the power of thought, the power of focused attention and the power of directing, directing that focused attention towards specific things and the repercussions that that has in your life. And so what you've seen is that you've seen a lot of this eastern spirituality and eastern

• 50:08Mark Manson?

  thought just get merged and integrated into new age thinking wholesale. Like there's, like, nobody even batted an eye. They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, the, the universe wants you to be this way, so yeah, you should meditate. And now they'll help you reveal your true self and shed your ego and then you'll be able to manifest your true nature that much sooner. And it's kind of like, it just... Fits in, slots in nicely with kind of the gobbledygook that gets repeated often. It's stuff that feels good. I think meditation slots in nicely too, because it is, we talked just a few minutes ago about how you and I, the primary value that we find in meditation is very much an emotional one, right? It helps us regulate our emotions, it de-stresses us,

• 50:52Mark Manson?

  it calms us. I think a lot of new age self-help is really just that. It's kind of this elaborate intellectual structure that's not actually very coherent, but it just, it's coherent enough to get you to do certain things or think about certain things that calms you down. And so it's really just like an elaborate cope for an anxious or overwhelmed existence.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  Well, so, okay, what's the, what's the harm in it then, Mark? If that's what it's-

• 51:22Mark Manson?

  We come back to this so much.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah. What's, what's the harm in it if that's what it's doing? So what, how do you get there?

• 51:28Mark Manson?

  Well, where I was going with this is that I think, I think meditation is probably being unfairly implicated in a lot of the, the same woo-woo nonsense that, that we often stick our nose up at on this podcast and, and make fun of. Sure, it's been adopted by these people and yeah, it does fit quite nicely into their framework or understanding of the world.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 51:52Mark Manson?

  But it didn't come from the same place. Like meditation actually has a lineage going back 3,000 years.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 52:01Mark Manson?

  And it actually has a very deep spiritual practice that has existed for a very long time. And there are real phenomenal, phenomenological and psychological implications and experiences that come with that spiritual practice. So all this is to say is that I don't think people, I get the aversion, but I don't think people are being fair to meditation if they associate this with just more woo-woo stuff.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  Right. It's guilty by association-

• 52:29Mark Manson?

  It is.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  At this point.

• 52:30Mark Manson?

  It is.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah. That's, that's definitely where I land on it. Again, I think we have a category problem here.

• 52:36Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  Which is, you know, meditation is often framed as like this pipeline to some cosmic order that we can tap into or whatever it is, when really- You know, if you look at it from a more empirical lens, it's just, it's attention training.

• 52:51Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 52:52Speaker 01

  Metacognitive awareness and skill building. It's emotional regulation, like we talked about.

• 52:55Mark Manson?

  Mm hmm.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  That's what it is, and you don't have to complicate it any more than that.

• 52:59Mark Manson?

  Yes, and well, I'll, I'll put, I'll say this too. A lot of the quote unquote spiritual woo woo stuff. I, I actually think Buddhism is a more proper explanation for what they're trying to get at. So I'll, I'll just give you a quick example, a quick primer, like in Buddhist thought, the whole reason you meditate is to remove the illusion of self, is to come to the realization that what you understand as Dru is just this completely made up arbitrary definition that you've cobbled together over 40 years of life experience. And the same way you cobbled it together, you can uncobble it and recobble it however you want.

• 53:43Mark Manson?

  And, but the, the point that Buddhism makes is that however you choose to cobble that definition of self together, it is going to cause suffering in whatever way, right? So if you redefine yourself in such a way, if you meditate enough and you like look at your thoughts and feelings and associations in Buddhism, it's, it's often translated as attachment. For me, attachment, I think, is not a perfect English translation. And my observation is that it seems to confuse people more than it actually helps them. To me, a more accurate way of describing it is an identification. It's if you're angry, anger is not necessarily a problem. The problem is when you identify with your anger and you decide that that is like actually

• 54:27Mark Manson?

  representative of who you are and, and you see no separation between yourself and the anger. It's that, there's a lack of that gap that we spoke about. Or, you know, if I define myself as a podcaster, you know, like it's, there needs to be some sort of awareness that these, these identity markers are arbitrary and made up and selected, and I'm opting into identifying with them, or I can also opt out of identifying with them. And the point that Buddhism makes is that the more stuff you opt into identifying with, the more you're going to cause yourself to suffer. And so it's by holding all of these experiences loosely and understanding that they're all

• 55:08Mark Manson?

  transitory and that they're all arbitrary and they all, both good and bad, don't necessarily signify anything about who you are, you're able to relieve yourself of unnecessary suffering in the world. There's a lot of real value in that.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  That's a deep spiritual thing you just said, without being supernatural.

• 55:29Mark Manson?

  Woo.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  Going into the supernatural or...

• 55:31Mark Manson?

  At no point did I describe the universe or energy or...

• 55:36Speaker 01

  It's incredibly practical, but it's incredibly spiritual.

• 55:38Mark Manson?

  Cosmic consciousness, right? And part of that disidentification with everything is when you start, is when that dissolution of identity begins to happen, what happens is that you actually, paradoxically, you start to feel very one with everything, right? Because it turns out that by identifying with a certain experience or emotion or trait or aspect of yourself, you're actually very much limiting your experience, right? Like if I decide that the most important part of my identity is being a podcaster, everything I experience in my life is going to be about podcasting. I'm going to see everything in terms of podcasting, I'm going to feel everything in terms of podcasting, I'm going to feel threatened in terms of my ability to podcast or not.

• 56:22Mark Manson?

  Whereas when you let go and loosen up and you disidentify with everything, you actually, it actually frees you to experience everything more fully. And so what you end up with is kind of this, the boundaries between yourself and the universe, for lack of a better term, or reality, existence, starts to dissolve and get more faint. And so you, people who have meditated extremely intensely, you also see this happen a lot with people who take a lot of psychedelics, there is an ego dissolution that begins to happen and you feel like the individual self or the consciousness that is you is no longer

• 57:03Mark Manson?

  limited to your skull and it is now like pervades anything and everything that you're experiencing.

• 57:10Mark Manson?

  So I can see why that would be called the cosmic consciousness, right?

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Right, yeah.

• 57:13Mark Manson?

  And so there's like, there is a real phenomenon that that idea comes from. It just tends to get very butchered.

• 57:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, the interpretation can really be misleading there.

• 57:23Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  I think that John Kabbat Zin came up with the definition, which is something along the lines of what meditation actually is, which I think fits in really well here, which is paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally.

• 57:40Mark Manson?

  I like that.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  And so that like, again, all of those things can be very, I guess, for lack of a better word, spiritual in their nature without being, without appealing to supernatural forces or cosmic, overly cosmic explanations of things, right? There doesn't have to be these spiritual claims, there doesn't have to be these belief systems. It's more like an instruction manual when you look at it like that. And yet that's still very profound and very spiritual at the same time. But even when you're sitting here explaining like, oh, you're becoming one with the universe or reality or whatever it is, that has that hint of kind of like this supernatural, you know, woo woo, new agey type thing that will still even turn people off.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  But I think it's the definition of that word spiritual that you need to also hang on to very loosely as well.

• 58:32Mark Manson?

  Well, and this is the challenge of this is that, because if you think about it, the act of trying to put word, like what are words, right? Words are identifiers, right? Like you're taking some arbitrary concept or experience and you're putting a boundary around it and you are like labeling that thing. And so as soon as you do that, that is completely antithetical to what, you know, like a deep. Eastern spiritual practice is trying to get you to do. So by its very nature, these experiences defy words because words are exactly contrary to what the experience is. So as soon as you say like something like cosmic consciousness or one with everything,

• 59:16Mark Manson?

  ironically, that's a very limiting way to describe it because it doesn't, it's, you're still putting a boundary around it and putting a label on top of it and saying, this is, see this thing that I'm holding in front of me? This is, this is what that is. It defies labeling, it defies identification, it defies boundary, which is paradoxical. Ken Wilber used to call it non-dualism, which is a fun little term to think about.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Now, he called what, non-dualism? Like the whole?

• 59:46Mark Manson?

  It's non-dualism. So it's like a non-dual consciousness.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 59:51Mark Manson?

  So it's, it's the lack of division. If you ask Freud about meditation, I imagine what he would say is that you're, you're exercising your superego. Like the superego in Freud's framework, you've got the id, which is all the emotions and impulses, you're unconscious. You have the ego, which is your identity, like how you define yourself. And then you have the superego, which is kind of observing your ego and I guess tries to observe your id, but like can't really see it. I think what Freud would say is that you're exercising your superego, you're, you're, you're training the observer inside your own mind to get a more accurate picture of your ego, who you are, and then also like how it's responding to your id, your impulses and emotions and desires and whatnot.

• 1:00:33Mark Manson?

  The better your understanding of your ego, the more adaptable that ego becomes and probably the healthier you become. That would probably be the Freudian explanation. But the funny thing is like when Freud talked about spiritual experiences, he actually saw it as like a infantile regression. Like when the ego dissolves, you fall back into your id, which is where you were when you were like a child. And so your pure impulse and your pure lack of differentiation and your pure lack of identity. Ken Wilber came along and he made the astute observation, he said, it's not infantile regression. He said, that's more like. Like what this association would be, the spiritual experience of a non-dual awareness is actually, you don't, you don't lose the ego, you transcend and include the ego.

• 1:01:17Mark Manson?

  So it's like, when you're having this non-dual awareness, you're still aware that this thing that you know as Drew exists, but you're just not attached to it. You're like, oh, cool. It's just another thing in the room that you can observe and play with and-

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  But you're not identified with.

• 1:01:33Mark Manson?

  You're not identified with it, you're not attached to it.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. Yeah, we talked a little bit about that in the ego episode, I guess, too, where the point wasn't necessarily to get rid of your ego.

• 1:01:42Mark Manson?

  Yes.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  It was to have a healthy sense of ego and know when it's online and what it's doing.

• 1:01:47Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Mark Manson?

  And then the spiritual practice is to transcend the ego, but not eliminate it.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. Interesting, okay. For all the skeptics who do want to stay away from that, the whole overly spiritual, I guess, or overly supernatural side of things, I mean, if you think about it, like, your mind really is, is just constantly generating-

• 1:02:08Mark Manson?

  Bullshit.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Thoughts. Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:12Mark Manson?

  You call it thought, I call it bullshit.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Thoughts, predictions, interpretations, simulations, right? I always say our brains are big comparison machines, we're always generating these comparisons.

• 1:02:22Mark Manson?

  Yep.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  Really what meditation boils down to is that noticing of those thoughts, interpretations, bullshit, redirecting that attention, being able to redirect it, and as you just pointed out-

• 1:02:35Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  Disidentifying from all of that, too. That's what it comes down to. That can be a very deeply spiritual thing for someone without getting into all of the problematic supernatural takes on it, too.

• 1:02:47Mark Manson?

  I think a nice way to differentiate, like, you can, you can experience meditation in both ways.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Mark Manson?

  There's a casual version of meditation, which is, is like, almost like a hygienic practice, right? Like, it's just mental hygiene.

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  Right, lifting weights, yeah.

• 1:03:01Mark Manson?

  And then there's a hardcore approach to meditation, which is, is really treating it, you can call it spiritual, you could, you could call it, um, just like deep identity work, like deeply therapeutic, but, I mean, if you go super hard on meditation for a long period of time, like, you will start having very interesting experiences and observations around your ego and your identity and who you are and what you feel and what, what matters and what doesn't matter. Like, it, that stuff is down there.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:28Mark Manson?

  That isn't to say everybody- Should go there and it's it's also not to say that's the only way to get there.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  Gotcha. Okay. Yeah, I would say I'm much more on the hygienic side of like how I use it anyway.

• 1:03:39Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Maybe at some point I'll get into the get way more deeper into it. I don't know. But yeah, so far the hygienic side. You can still get a lot of value out of it and it still feels even spiritual to some degree.

• 1:03:48Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  The the discipline part of it actually is very spiritual. We we've discovered, okay, there's there's kind of two ways to approach it. There's this ultra new agey woo woo way to do it, or you can be a little more of an empiricist around it. And there's still a spiritual side to it. Sure. However, okay, as you've noted, as we've noted several times already, meditation came out of a lot of ancient spiritual traditions, a lot of ancient religions too. So are we missing something when we separate it from that? Like, are we are we when we divest it from that, when we when we separate the two out? Because I there's there's part of me that sees, you know, when you do that, then you can run a corporate retreat on meditation.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  Right? And you can have calm, good little well behaved employees now that meditate.

• 1:04:35Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:04:36Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Or, you know, you can get you can go all sorts of ways with it at that point. There's people who will argue when it doesn't have that kind of moral and ethical backbone attached to it. That you can start running into those sorts of problems where it can be used for the wrong reasons or become a caricature of itself.

• 1:04:56Mark Manson?

  I would say it's it's not. It's not just the moral backbone. It's it's the time horizon as well. So I have I have multiple friends who are very serious Buddhists. And they measure the success of their meditation practice in decades, right? Like you and I measure the success of our meditation practice in like minutes.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Was that good or bad what I just did?

• 1:05:22Mark Manson?

  Did I do it this week or not? Right? Like, that's pretty much where I'm at these days.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Right. And also why I say it's more hygienic for me. But yeah.

• 1:05:28Mark Manson?

  Right. Like when I talk, when I talk to my like my very serious Buddhist friends, like they it's, you know, one of my friends just got a new teacher and it was a very big deal for him. And and he was telling me, he was like, yeah, I just felt like after eight years with my last teacher, like I wasn't really progressing. Anymore and I felt like it was time to kind of move on and try something different. Nobody talks about meditation in that way. Like everything you just described about corporate retreats and like morning routines and everything. Like it just, it seems, it seems almost a little pedantic. I think there's something about the long-term commitment of the practice that is, it might be one of those things where it's like, it's, it's less the practice itself and it's more

• 1:06:11Mark Manson?

  just the fact that some people are committed over a long period of time to a single thing that is relatively healthy, right? And this kind of bleeds into like, we keep teasing the audience that we're going to do an episode on religion at some point. This kind of, this kind of, I'm, I'm, by the way, I'm shocked how many people write in and say that they want it, uh, but this kind of-

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  A lot of people on the team too are like, yes, go for it.

• 1:06:36Mark Manson?

  Like, uh, I don't know, I kind of like to live for a little bit longer. This kind of bleeds a little bit over into just my, some of my perspectives on religion, like what the value in religion is. And, and I think a lot of the value is just, you have people who have, who have committed their lives to something that they feel is incredibly meaningful and it happens to also be something that has some, some psychological and physical health benefits. Like in the Purpose episode, we talked about how it's, it's almost secondary to like what you commit to versus just the fact that you have-

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  Have something.

• 1:07:10Mark Manson?

  Have some lifelong commitment to something. And I, I do think the value of religion, a lot of the value of religion falls under that umbrella and I imagine a long-term meditation practice does too. It's funny too, I like, this is a question for you, but like, when I think about everybody I know who meditates or has meditated, all of the casual people who, who've meditated here and there, like, most of them will say some good things, but most of them don't keep up with it. It's not a regular part of their life. It comes and goes, it's a habit that, that they gain and lose. And most of them, if you talk to them about it, it's like, yeah, it was very helpful. Or like, yeah, I was able to focus better. Or like, I went through a tough time in my life and meditation was, was, yeah, it was

• 1:07:55Mark Manson?

  useful. Whereas when you talk to people who are like, actually Buddhist and actually in it.

• 1:08:05Mark Manson?

  It's everything for them, right? It's like talking to a very devout Christian about church.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, or prayer.

• 1:08:12Mark Manson?

  Or prayer.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:13Mark Manson?

  Like, to them, it's almost unfathomable that they don't do it.

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I don't know where I land on that, I guess. But that does make sense to me where if you're attaching it to like a you're attaching a practice to a larger system, you're more likely to stick with it for one, but also it means something completely different to you.

• 1:08:32Mark Manson?

  And I think that added context is probably what brings a lot of the benefits. So this is the other thing. You have your woo-woo people who, right, they do their little meditation retreats for a couple of times a year and they go hire some specialty, like, I don't want to talk too much shit, but like I had some friends out here in California who got really excited because they like went and found the quote unquote best meditation teacher, who was like $5,000 a day or something ridiculous, like come to their-

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  We are in the wrong business.

• 1:09:02Mark Manson?

  Yeah. To like come to their house to teach them to meditate for a day and they like invited me and I was like, absolutely not. Like the actual Buddhist teachers, most of them don't charge anything.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:13Mark Manson?

  Most of them don't even broadcast that they're like actual like lamas or what their rank is in the Tibetan school or like whatever branch or denomination that they're part of. And they'll just teach you over Zoom. Like if you're serious, they'll teach you over Zoom and they won't ask for anything. So there's like, there is kind of this hidden third category of like, if you do really want to take this seriously as a religious practice, it's a completely different world in existence. And I was just going to say like one of my friends who's in that world, I mean, I've talked, he's sat there and excitedly told me about like the lineage of his teacher, like his teacher's teacher and his teacher's teacher's teacher and like how it goes back to Tibet and how like how many centuries it goes back

• 1:09:57Mark Manson?

  and how you can actually trace where it branched off from like one of the monasteries there and like. So it's cool to know that you're part of something that's thousands of years old and you're like- Part of the continuation of it.

• 1:10:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, that I totally get. And there's like the tradition and the ritual and everything I like. Sometimes I get a little bit into that, too, just because it's kind of fun. Yeah, I still don't know where I land on that because it does feel, you know, you can get into the whole cultural appropriation and all that kind of stuff. I do yoga, too, which is another, you know, it's a Hindu tradition that I do that I I'm not. There's no spiritual.

• 1:10:29Mark Manson?

  Fuck cultural appropriation. Like, seriously, what the stupidest fucking concept.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:10:34Mark Manson?

  Stupidest fucking concept.

• 1:10:35Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:10:35Mark Manson?

  You know, you know what I'm gonna do, Drew? I'm gonna go to China and I'm gonna start lecturing Chinese people about all the McDonald's that they have over there. How dare you steal our culture?

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:10:44Mark Manson?

  The American culture, you're appropriating our culture, our Big Macs.

• 1:10:47Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 1:10:48Mark Manson?

  How dare you, Chinese people?

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  I think it's perfectly fine to go take the best parts of whatever culture, use them how you need to use them. That's great. I go like, like I said, I go to yoga and I don't attach any sort of like, there are definitely people in there who are in the new age woo woo crowd that do this, but I it's more for me, it's actually meditative, too, for me as well. There's there's a silent yoga I go to sometimes. It's very meditative. I'm more in the hygienic crowd like you were talking about, and I still see a lot of benefit from that. So I don't think, I get it if you're turned off by that, the whole kind of pseudo religious side of it. Absolutely valid concern. It doesn't have to be, I guess. And that's not a huge breakthrough, I know. But yeah, that's where that's where I land on.

• 1:11:27Mark Manson?

  It's it is. It is one of the few practices that it can meet you where you are.

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:11:33Mark Manson?

  Right. So if you just want a little boost in your morning, it can do that. If you want to give your whole life to a 3,000 year old lineage of beautiful history and tradition, you can do that.

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hey, that's the other thing, though, too. It's been around for so long. There's there's something to it. At the very least, there's something to it. And not only it's not only Eastern religions, too. Like, actually, Christianity actually has a meditative tradition in it, too. It just hasn't hasn't been highlighted for a few centuries, but yeah, I mean, prayer is is a kind of meditation.

• 1:12:05Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. So you posed this question at the top.

• 1:12:10Mark Manson?

  Yeah. Is it worth the trouble?

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  Is it worth the trouble? Is meditation worth the trouble?

• 1:12:15Mark Manson?

  As with almost every solved episode, the answer is it depends.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:12:22Mark Manson?

  It depends what you're looking for, what you need. I think it is worth everybody trying. Like, I, I really can't think of, if you've never meditated before, I cannot think of a good reason to not give it a, a genuine attempt and see what happens.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  It's like eating broccoli. You just try it. Eat your veggies. Just try it once. You gotta try it.

• 1:12:48Mark Manson?

  Sure. Well, all right. It's the bro- we'll go with broccoli.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I would absolutely agree with that. I might go a step further and say, I, I think it is worth the trouble, especially for the, the kind of person who's probably listening to this, who is a little bit skeptical. Either you either never tried it before, or have tried it and had mixed results at best. Get some structure around it, you know, get it, go to an instructor, find the thing that fits for you, you know, whether it's the walking meditation, or sitting in a room by yourself, or doing group meditation too. We didn't really get into that, but going and making a social thing out of it, cleaning your house, doing mundane things. Sure, go for it. My thing is though, is that I think people should do it, but probably not for most of the reasons we've even been talking about so far.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  Which, it's not, it's not a health hack, okay? This is, this is, this is the part that the hype, I think, has done the most damage. Is that, oh, it's gonna fix all these problems. This is what we opened up with. It's not a health hack.

• 1:13:48Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  It's just, it's not. There might be some benefits of it, sure, but it's, you're not, you don't want to do it for those, I don't think those, that's the primary reason you should be doing it.

• 1:13:59Mark Manson?

  Something I just thought of, the irony of meditation, is that if you're disciplined enough to actually do it regularly, you're probably disciplined enough that you don't need it.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:10Mark Manson?

  Right? I mean, I, I would actually encourage people to, if you live in a major city,

• 1:14:17Mark Manson?

  Go, try to go find a group.

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:14:19Mark Manson?

  Go find a group.

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:14:21Mark Manson?

  Because it is, first of all, it's way easier to do it with other people. Like if you're sitting, if you've never meditated, the act of sitting by yourself in a room for 10 minutes, staring at a wall is like, it's agonizing. It's really rough.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:34Mark Manson?

  It's, it, a lot of people will not get through it. But if you're in a room full of other people and there's kind of a ritual aspect to it, there's, there's like a, an agenda and a schedule and like you, you just, you have, you're inside this framework, you know what's happening and why it's happening. It, it does get a lot easier and it's nice because you, there's just something about, I don't know, you, you're, you're experiencing meditation in the way that it was kind of intended to be experienced.

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it really never was supposed to be you sitting in a room alone in silence.

• 1:15:08Mark Manson?

  For, yeah, unless you're a monk, no.

• 1:15:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, right.

• 1:15:11Mark Manson?

  Like, nobody did that.

• 1:15:13Speaker 01

  Right, yeah, meditation for the people.

• 1:15:14Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  That's what we're talking about.

• 1:15:15Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:17Mark Manson?

  Social meditation.

• 1:15:19Speaker 01

  Yes, no, I, I, but I think there is a, um, I think there needs to be a clarification around motivation still though too. Like I said, don't, not, not for the health reasons. Don't do it because somebody said it's gonna make you happy either, which I think that is, that's a, that's actually a terrible motivation for it. That could happen, you could be happier because of, as a result of a good disciplined meditation practice over time, sure. For me, anyway, what meditation has become is I'm sitting down to like, learn about my mind, to, to know my mind. There's nothing else to do at that point. To know the dark parts of your mind even too. And to look at some of those shadowy, ugly parts of yourself and to look at it, examine them,

• 1:16:01Speaker 01

  see them for what they are, and importantly, like you've mentioned over and over, to not identify necessarily with them.

• 1:16:05Mark Manson?

  Right.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  But to understand them, okay? It's not about happiness. I mean, fuck your happiness at that point, right? Like what, who cares about your happiness if you're able to train your attention on itself?

• 1:16:18Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  And know what's going on in your mind, know your own mind. Like, to me, that's the real value of it. And that's not always easy, it's not always fun, it's not always... Helpful even too. Sometimes it, yeah, sometimes it does hurt.

• 1:16:32Mark Manson?

  Yeah. I mean, well, you know what's interesting that relates to all of this?

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:36Mark Manson?

  Is so when we were developing Purpose, like I did a lot of research on the meditation apps. It's kind of like.

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:43Mark Manson?

  Just a case study.

• 1:16:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:44Mark Manson?

  And the two biggest ones, most people have heard of is Calm and Headspace. And Calm and Headspace very much went after the casual user.

• 1:16:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:16:53Mark Manson?

  Right. It's like five minutes in the morning, de-stress a little bit, help you relax.

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  Mass market. Yeah.

• 1:16:58Mark Manson?

  Mass market. And it's interesting because both of those companies have have succumbed to massive amounts of churn. Like they really have trouble keeping people on their apps for a long periods of time. And then secondly, both of those companies have pivoted very hard in the sleep. Just because it's probably a better business model. And then interestingly, the meditation apps that actually do have a lot of traction and do seem to have very sustainable business models are the smaller, more focused, kind of more intentional apps. Things like Waking Up or Sam Harris is Waking Up and then Dan Harris is 10% happier.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:35Mark Manson?

  Both of those apps have much more of a philosophical, psychological focus in in their content. And they attract more serious meditators who actually do want to do the work that you're talking about. And do want to like have a better understanding of their own consciousness and their their own, their own identities. Those apps have much smaller user bases, but they're thriving and super profitable.

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. And people stick with them more. Yeah. Dan Harris is an interesting case study here. So for people who don't know, he was a news anchor. ABC News anchor. He had a very public panic attack back in like the early 2000s, I think, or something like that. And that's what led him to meditation. It's interesting because he's very nuanced about it as well. It's like, it didn't save my life and maybe 10% happier.

• 1:18:20Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  It's like as a 10% improvement, which I think that's probably, that's probably about right for meditation.

• 1:18:26Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  I'll get you 10%.

• 1:18:27Mark Manson?

  And honestly, I mean, you and I talk about this all the time, that like when, if you are currently struggling, say with anxiety or depression or whatever else. There is this internal sense of like, I need to do a full 180. I need to completely change. I need to get rid of everything. You probably need to be 10% less anxious or 10% happier.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  One of the things I'll, I'll end on here anyway, is that what meditation also does is shows you how little control you have. And. That can be terrifying at first, but it's also that's what gives you agency in a paradoxical way. This is the thing I love about meditation, too, is you're just forced to sit with all these paradoxes. And I know you like this, too. Like, you're really big into paradoxes. But one of the most useful ones for me, anyway, that meditation has showed you is like, oh, you don't, like, the thoughts, that monkey mind you talked about, you don't control that thing at all.

• 1:19:18Mark Manson?

  No.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  You have zero control over that, actually.

• 1:19:20Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:21Speaker 01

  And you need to somehow come to grips with that and face that reality at some point. And only then can you then actually have agency in your life.

• 1:19:27Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  So, yeah.

• 1:19:29Mark Manson?

  I love the fact, and we talked about this before we started, we went on air, but just the whole question, meditation, is it worth it? Is it worth the trouble?

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:39Mark Manson?

  Like, looking at that title, I was like, I was like, what, what trouble? What trouble? Like, literally, meditation is just literally doing nothing. Like, you just, it's, all you have to do is just stop doing everything you're doing. How, why is that so hard? Why, why does that feel so difficult?

• 1:19:57Speaker 01

  We go to the gym, we, like, obsess over our diets and sleep routines and everything like that. What is it about just sitting there doing nothing?

• 1:20:03Mark Manson?

  You've got 18 tabs open on your browser and you've read half of each of them, like, but there's just the idea of, like, sitting quietly for five minutes feels overwhelmingly difficult. Like, it's such a funny, such a funny thing.

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. You, you work out regularly? Is it worth the trouble? Of course it's worth the trouble. Absolutely it is. And this is just sitting, sitting there doing nothing. And we're, we have to do a whole, like, is it? I don't know. We're even calling it trouble, right?

• 1:20:28Mark Manson?

  Right. It's what's the trouble?

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  What is?

• 1:20:30Mark Manson?

  What is the trouble?

• 1:20:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:33Mark Manson?

  I think that's a good place to end.

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  I think if you look at it that way, you're going to come to the conclusion that I've come to, which is, yes, it's worth the trouble.

• 1:20:38Mark Manson?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  Give it a shot.

• 1:20:40Mark Manson?

  Could be. All right. Well, thank you, everybody. This was another episode of Solved. Please check out the website for free PDF guides on each of the episodes. It's solpodcast.com. And Drew and I will be back in a couple of weeks.

• 1:20:57Speaker 01

  Good. That's wrap.