Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live in Atlanta TOMORROW - SAT @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Yes. We back. Please enjoy. God Bless. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  Wow.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 0:03Matt McCusker?

  Here we go.

• 0:03Speaker 00

  I can't believe you guys got a new camera.

• 0:05Matt McCusker?

  Hey, man, dude, it's sad. I bought that months ago.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Is it like nice?

• 0:10Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty nice, yeah.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  There's gonna be a clear picture now for the boys.

• 0:13Matt McCusker?

  Crystal clear, dude.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 0:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, I got nervous too. Remember the old one, you still like zoom out of nowhere?

• 0:20Speaker 00

  Zoom in on my face for a full episode.

• 0:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was worried. I was like, that thing's got, that thing's a ticking time bomb.

• 0:26Speaker 00

  That's a nightmare to have it slowly zoom on your face for a full episode.

• 0:30Matt McCusker?

  Dude, that was the best.

• 0:31Speaker 00

  Blows, dude.

• 0:32Matt McCusker?

  That was the best. It was funny too, Sardini just seeing it being like, oh, I think it actually zoomed in on just your head for an hour.

• 0:40Matt McCusker?

  That's a good podcast angle though. Two camera setup, just maximal.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  Max face.

• 0:44Matt McCusker?

  Total gordon, just dueling gordons.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Especially if we got in an argument. Just, just our face. It's just like, actually fuck you.

• 0:55Matt McCusker?

  You see the person's face the whole time, like.

• 0:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what, when the zoom in on my face, I was like, fuck, they're definitely gonna catch me being a little bitch. Like you say something to me being like.

• 1:06Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, right.

• 1:08Matt McCusker?

  As if.

• 1:09Speaker 00

  As if, Matt. It's good to be, it's good to be back.

• 1:12Matt McCusker?

  It's fantastic, bro.

• 1:13Speaker 00

  Last time I saw you was Notre Dame.

• 1:15Matt McCusker?

  I know. I was, I was just thinking about Notre Dame.

• 1:19Matt McCusker?

  I mean, bro, it could have been, it could have been the big kick. If I made it, oh, that'd been awesome.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  That was like, so when I was, I was on my way there and I hit up McAfee, cause I didn't, I don't know. I wanted to get the bros on.

• 1:32Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 1:33Speaker 00

  And I was like, the only thing I can think of is Matt coming out. If Matt kicks a field goal, he'll do it. You know what I mean? Like anybody else would be like, fuck no. Like that's like scary.

• 1:43Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I don't know. When you told me.

• 1:45Speaker 00

  And Matt just, I was like, Matt's gonna do it and Matt's gonna try his hardest. And there's gonna be no, there's no pressure. Like he's gonna just be like, I'm gonna do my best.

• 1:54Matt McCusker?

  That's exactly what I did.

• 1:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:56Matt McCusker?

  I had no, I like, when I, I was on the flight, I got the text and I was like, wow, all right. Yeah, I thought about it and I was like, I'm just gonna look at that ball and kick it as hard as I can.

• 2:06Speaker 00

  Did you know that that's what it was gonna be like?

• 2:07Matt McCusker?

  No, I didn't, I didn't know it at all. No. I didn't know anything about it.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  Millions of people watching.

• 2:15Matt McCusker?

  No clue until I got there. And then you were like, dude, it's like a big show. And I was like, right on. And I just stuck to my guns.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  I know, I knew you'd be fine.

• 2:24Matt McCusker?

  And I, dude, I for real, especially the moment of kicking it, I had literally, I had zero nerves.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  I get so nervous on those things.

• 2:32Matt McCusker?

  I, I mean, yeah, I, I maybe, or maybe I just dissociated. It makes total sense.

• 2:36Speaker 00

  That's why I spazzed and talked shit on Saban, like the, cause he was like, what do you think about the game? And I was like, I don't know, fucking Nick Saban cheated.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  It was just a full spaz.

• 2:46Matt McCusker?

  It was so good, though.

• 2:47Speaker 00

  I mean, that, I could, I'd like to explain that, cause that was, so after I said that, we had to go into the stadium to sit at the desk, which is where he didn't, he wasn't with us when I said it the first time.

• 3:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  So then I got in there and right before we go on, he looks at me and he's like, I heard what you said. And I was like, holy shit. And then Herb Street and McAfee were like, he's just breaking balls, dude. He loves messing with guys. Like, he's literally just fucking with you. And I was like, oh, all right. I'll fuck with him back. We can fuck around. So then, um, I would have never done that if I thought he was serious.

• 3:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  They told me he was fucking around, so I started fucking with him. And then as soon as we get done, I tell Herb Street and McAfee, I'm like, bro, he was definitely serious. And they were like, no way he was serious. Go talk to him. So I went up to him after news, like, you think the SEC dominated because we cheated? That's bullshit. And he like, he spazzed.

• 3:43Matt McCusker?

  Weren't you helping him down?

• 3:44Speaker 00

  But then, so he was still on the stage and I was on the field. So after he yelled at me, I had to help him down.

• 3:52Speaker 00

  And he like looked around to see if anybody else could help him, but I had to help him down.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  And yeah, I felt really bad about that.

• 3:59Matt McCusker?

  I mean, it's gotta be crazy too, because he's, how old is he?

• 4:02Speaker 00

  I think he's probably like 70.

• 4:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and he's, I didn't know.

• 4:06Speaker 00

  He might be older.

• 4:07Matt McCusker?

  Well, I didn't know too, because I saw him on the screen. I didn't know who he was. And I was like, damn dude, you should start wearing a hat. Like, you look.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  73, yeah.

• 4:14Matt McCusker?

  I'm like, you could really step into that look.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  That hat?

• 4:16Matt McCusker?

  Into his couture, the whole thing.

• 4:17Speaker 00

  Next time I do game day, I'm dressing exactly like him. I'm wearing that hat.

• 4:23Matt McCusker?

  And then just be like, what?

• 4:24Speaker 00

  What, dude? These hats are cool. You're right.

• 4:26Matt McCusker?

  This is how I dress. It's how guys who like sports dress. I didn't realize that was like a legendary coach.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  He's the number, he's the greatest coach of all time.

• 4:33Matt McCusker?

  So from him, it must be like, you know, you go on those shows, it's like, all right, time to get fucking high-fived, at a boy.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, just some fucking dickhead shows up.

• 4:41Matt McCusker?

  I mean, we do roast the ones we love, though, dude.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  We do only.

• 4:46Speaker 00

  The only roasts the ones we love.

• 4:47Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny though to be a 70 year old man just in like the twilight of your years, your legacy and then just be like, dude, your hat's gay.

• 4:54Speaker 00

  Your hat's gay, you cheated.

• 4:59Matt McCusker?

  That was, you were just an agent of karma. There had to have been some, I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but I'm saying there's gotta be just like, there was some kind of equation that needed to be balanced cosmically and you know, you were just there. You were there all the time.

• 5:09Speaker 00

  I think, I think I kinda was right though. Now that the SCC isn't the only conference that can pay players.

• 5:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. That was the other thing too, isn't it? It's well known, right? That like, a lot of people were.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  I, yeah, it's not, so that's the thing. I think a lot of the coaches can distance themselves from it. Be like, I didn't fucking, we didn't pay players. I don't know how all these guys got Dodge Chargers, but I didn't fucking do it.

• 5:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 5:35Speaker 00

  I don't know how everyone on the team has chains and cars.

• 5:41Matt McCusker?

  But it's also like, you know, you can't, like when I hear about like the flight gate and all that stuff, I'm always like, good. Like as a good coach, you should be working like.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Dude, I wish Notre Dame was fucking cheating.

• 5:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it'd be awesome. Hopefully they are.

• 5:53Speaker 00

  Notre Dame vacated wins because a couple of players cheated on like a summer class. Meanwhile, the SCC was like, we'll give Cam Newton $500 million if he comes to the school.

• 6:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 6:05Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, man. I think Cam, they did something to that guy. That guy got like MK after it, bro.

• 6:09Speaker 00

  He hates Notre Dame, dude. Fuck him.

• 6:11Matt McCusker?

  What's his problem?

• 6:12Speaker 00

  I don't know. He's dressed, he dresses like a cat.

• 6:15Matt McCusker?

  I think that dude got.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  He literally looks like a cartoon cat.

• 6:19Matt McCusker?

  I think he got abducted by aliens.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  It's crazy. He wears like a top hat and a bow tie every day.

• 6:24Matt McCusker?

  I feel like my theory, my theory is a house fell on him. I think a house fell on him and he became a witch.

• 6:31Speaker 00

  He is a, he is real witchy.

• 6:34Matt McCusker?

  He's very witchy.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  He's huge, bro.

• 6:36Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you, bro. I think he got.

• 6:36Speaker 00

  He's huge.

• 6:37Matt McCusker?

  I think he got either abducted by aliens and sent to the future for five, like 5,000 years beyond. He, that dude is.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's in the future.

• 6:44Matt McCusker?

  He's wild, dude.

• 6:45Speaker 00

  He's wearing future clothes.

• 6:46Matt McCusker?

  Did you see the clip of, God, who was it, man? Um, Corey Holcomb on his show? And Corey Holcomb just kind of like, just kind of, he like broke something down to him. I don't know what it was. It was about Trump or this or that. I, I don't know what it was, but like, Corey Holcomb kind of owned him, being like, dude, you really believe, like, kind of like schooled him.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Is Scamalib?

• 7:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  Scam Newton, yeah, I guess you could tell by the fucking outfit.

• 7:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, bro. Otherwise if we.

• 7:15Matt McCusker?

  But it was Corey Holcomb said, I forget, I wish I remember what he said, but he's like, you can't be, you can't really believe that. He was like, I don't, I don't, like it was, you know when someone's like, fuck, I never thought, he's like, you've clearly thought about this before. And he was like, eh, yeah. And you could tell I definitely did.

• 7:30Speaker 00

  Devastating.

• 7:32Matt McCusker?

  I mean, I don't know, just.

• 7:34Speaker 00

  I was, uh.

• 7:35Matt McCusker?

  But it was funny.

• 7:35Speaker 00

  Scam Newton, I was wrong about him though, in the NFL. I remember having a very intense argument with my college roommates being like, Jimmy Clausen is a professional passer from Notre Dame. Cam Newton, you can't run like that in the NFL, dude. This guy's gonna get fucking killed. He dominated his whole career. He was incredible.

• 7:54Matt McCusker?

  Changed the game.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was nasty.

• 7:56Matt McCusker?

  Did you see him throw hands at one time?

• 7:57Speaker 00

  Yes, he's also terrifying, so.

• 7:59Matt McCusker?

  That was kinda nice.

• 8:00Speaker 00

  We're just joking around, Scam.

• 8:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Scam.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  I'll stop calling you Scam.

• 8:05Speaker 00

  Cam, you're the man.

• 8:06Matt McCusker?

  Or Scram, no, it could be Scram Newton.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  Scram Newton, yeah.

• 8:10Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, he, there was, damn man, he really like, it's wild to be that old and get like, into like, I mean, I would say the bleeding edge of fashion.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:19Matt McCusker?

  It's like, that's the bleeding edge of fashion is like borderline crossdressing.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  It's all, for real.

• 8:24Matt McCusker?

  He looks like a married K model.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  It's crazy. It's also weird to be that big.

• 8:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  You can't be like giant and wearing cool stuff.

• 8:33Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  It looks nuts.

• 8:34Matt McCusker?

  It's very erotic to be threatening.

• 8:36Speaker 00

  You ever see Magic Johnson's son? I just saw a video of him yesterday. He's still going nuts, dude.

• 8:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  What's that kid's age?

• 8:44Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dude.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Oh, is it a daughter now?

• 8:46Matt McCusker?

  Uh, you wanna talk about a balancing act of the universe? Imagine.

• 8:52Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, this is no disrespect. I'm, this is more of like, just kinda put yourself in someone's shoes, but imagine if your dad had AIDS from getting too much pussy.

• 9:02Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 9:02Matt McCusker?

  He got all the pussy. That guy couldn't, he like got like multiple generations worth of pussy. So like, you gotta, you gotta be that gay when you come out of being his son. You know what I mean?

• 9:12Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 9:13Matt McCusker?

  It would've been crazy if his son came out, you know, it's not like Diddy's son, Diddy's sons are

• 9:17Speaker 00

  Diddy's son, that was, they were, the apple did not fall far from the tree in the Diddy family.

• 9:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, I'm like fascinated by those guys. That's a, he's, he had two twin daughters just celebrated eighteen year old, their eighteen year old birthday or something.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  Who, Diddy?

• 9:32Matt McCusker?

  Diddy has twin eighteen year old female daughters and it's like, I just, what a world.

• 9:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:37Matt McCusker?

  To be, A, having a twin's weird enough that to be like-

• 9:40Speaker 00

  Did his son, is it him or?

• 9:43Matt McCusker?

  His son's wrapped, one of them's really wrapped up-

• 9:44Speaker 00

  Played football at UCLA, it could be the wrong, I could be thinking somebody else and I think-

• 9:48Matt McCusker?

  Snoop Dogg's son?

• 9:50Speaker 00

  He did, hit his strength and conditioning coach in the head with like a kettlebell, like attempted murder.

• 9:56Matt McCusker?

  He's probably just trying to get some.

• 9:59Matt McCusker?

  If I saw a guy doing jumping jacks then.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:03Matt McCusker?

  What if he gets acquitted, what if he gets acquitted, it was all made up, that would be crazy.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  No, I was right about that.

• 10:08Matt McCusker?

  Diddy?

• 10:08Speaker 00

  Diddy attacked the UCLA football coach with a kettlebell.

• 10:11Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 10:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:13Matt McCusker?

  Primal, you think it was a primal on it?

• 10:14Speaker 00

  It was probably, yeah, it was probably a basic gorilla head.

• 10:19Matt McCusker?

  I mean, he definitely wasn't swanging anything, if you're gonna attack somebody with the kettlebell, it's probably like a fifteen pounder or like a ten pounder.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  Damn, his son was pretty good, it looks like.

• 10:28Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 10:29Speaker 00

  I don't know if he played ever, because his dad attacked someone with a kettlebell.

• 10:34Matt McCusker?

  I feel like that would get you off the bench.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  True.

• 10:37Matt McCusker?

  I wish my dad wasn't such a bitch about, you know, he could've got up and saw his face. I mean, I was playing both sides of the ball in seventh grade, so.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  True.

• 10:43Matt McCusker?

  That was my, I peaked like, I started out at my peak of football and was just like.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, you were Travis Hunter.

• 10:50Matt McCusker?

  I was nasty.

• 10:51Speaker 00

  You were a two-way star.

• 10:52Matt McCusker?

  Seven, seven, special, don't forget about special teams, bro.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  Three-way.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  I mean, all facets of the game, you had it.

• 10:59Matt McCusker?

  Did Saban say anything about me, actually?

• 11:01Speaker 00

  Saban mentioned you, he said, he said, who was that guy who kicked that ball? I'd like to give him five hundred thousand dollars to that.

• 11:11Matt McCusker?

  Was that the guy from the BYC Bulldogs I saw there kicking the ball?

• 11:15Speaker 00

  True, I do wish my father had held it down like Diddy like that.

• 11:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Came down to Elon with me the whole year I was riding the bench, just

• 11:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:22Speaker 00

  attacked our strength and conditioning coach with a kettlebell. Got his ass beat by our strength and conditioning coach.

• 11:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that, dude, I'm telling you, the, it's a, uh, I, I really love delving into like the kind of just psychosis of like fathers and sports and coaching. It's just like, it gets really, it's like a dark world, dude.

• 11:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:42Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty nuts, man.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  Phil held it in pretty well.

• 11:45Matt McCusker?

  That's good.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  Occasionally, he would come watch practice, which was a little weird.

• 11:49Matt McCusker?

  Was he quiet, though?

• 11:49Speaker 00

  He didn't say anything. He just would look over and you'd see a car in the parking lot. You'd be like, how bored is this fucking guy?

• 11:55Matt McCusker?

  No, he probably loves it, dude.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, he liked it.

• 11:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, if you're quiet and chill, more power to you. It's when like dudes start, dudes get weird.

• 12:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:03Matt McCusker?

  About like the high school sports, the kids playing, yeah. Dude, down to like way young, people start faking. And it's a weird, it's a weird trip to get on.

• 12:11Speaker 00

  It's a weird trip to get on, like, yeah, my kid's the best.

• 12:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:15Speaker 00

  It's like, no, dude.

• 12:16Matt McCusker?

  Clearly, we're watching, watch the field.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, watch the tape. We're gonna grind on the tape.

• 12:20Matt McCusker?

  He's all right.

• 12:22Matt McCusker?

  But that is, you know, that's, that's that thing where it's like-

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Now, coaches playing their sons, that's where it does get a little like-

• 12:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, quarterback. Every time, quarterback. Who knew every coach's son was a quarterback? But yeah, that's, I mean, I, I could, I, I could get into girls' basketball coaching, dude. The path is set for me.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  The path is set.

• 12:41Matt McCusker?

  I've thought about it, like I show up to practice.

• 12:43Speaker 00

  Phil could be your mentor.

• 12:44Matt McCusker?

  That would be nice.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  Phil could mentor you.

• 12:45Matt McCusker?

  He probably could, because I-

• 12:47Speaker 00

  I think my mom just had knee surgery today. My dad's not home helping her because he's going to like a girls' basketball practice. We go like, Phil, skip the fucking practice.

• 12:56Matt McCusker?

  No way, dude.

• 12:57Speaker 00

  She just helped him the entire time.

• 12:58Matt McCusker?

  I was about to say, it was probably-

• 12:59Speaker 00

  The whole time he was recovering from that.

• 13:02Matt McCusker?

  I mean, girls are so good with that.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  Day two, she's, she got surgery yesterday.

• 13:06Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 13:07Speaker 00

  And he's already, he's like, I gotta go to the, the practice.

• 13:10Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he calls.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  It's like, dude, stay home.

• 13:14Matt McCusker?

  Women do wait on you hand, like they, there's nothing they love more than you being like incapacitated.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:20Matt McCusker?

  If they had it your way, they'd be dead.

• 13:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:22Matt McCusker?

  If they had their way, you'd be dead ideally, but like you laying in a bed and needing them, they can't, they love that so much.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  Tucking you in with blankets, it's very nice.

• 13:30Matt McCusker?

  They love it, dude. If Brittany has anything wrong with her, A, I like kinda question her to make sure she's not faking first and foremost.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 13:41Matt McCusker?

  I go, oh wow, your knee really hurts. And they're like, oh my god, I'm just making sure I'm not making this up.

• 13:48Matt McCusker?

  And I have to go.

• 13:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it sucks, man. I, I told you when I, when I broke my nose and they, uh, they, I, I got my deviated septum fixed while they had to like put my nose back together. I came out of the hospital and like, you know, Brittany picked me up. She's like always happy to do that and they put me on fentanyl.

• 14:07Speaker 00

  Fuck yeah.

• 14:08Matt McCusker?

  I do that because I came, I came.

• 14:10Speaker 00

  Fentanyl?

• 14:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah dude, they put me on fent. I fucking, I came up, I remember coming to, because you know, they knock you out and like boom, you're just back.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:18Matt McCusker?

  Just instantly, to be continued. I come back after hours of them just like, you know, cutting my nose. They, they cut your septum out, like the part between your nose and then straighten it out and re-sell it. It's disgusting.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  Oh man.

• 14:30Matt McCusker?

  But I came to and I came, once I realized like where I was, I was like, hey, great job everybody. Hey everybody, great work. And everyone's like, alright, you can sit down.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  Okay buddy.

• 14:39Matt McCusker?

  And they were like, we gave you, uh, we gave you something for the pain of the way home. And I was like, what did you give me? I'm just curious. Cause I am curious about, they give you ketamine to put you down apparently. So I was curious about the cocktail and they're like fentanyl and I was like, huh? So they hit me with a fent. I just somewhere, somewhere in Philly.

• 14:57Speaker 00

  You'll give you the fucking ketamine.

• 14:59Matt McCusker?

  Somewhere in Philly, dude, the worst, yeah true. Gave you some of that trank, dog.

• 15:03Speaker 00

  I didn't know you liked to get wet, young man.

• 15:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. But I, I like, I was like, alright. And I was already so fucked up from everything else they gave me. But that, that fent hit me and Brittany picked me up and I was just like, anything she said, I would be like, will you just shut the fu- I was so mean dude.

• 15:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, instantly.

• 15:19Matt McCusker?

  I had opiate rage.

• 15:20Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 15:21Matt McCusker?

  Apparently that happens. If you're on perks, like you get mean dude. Super mean. Also, right now, the mayor, uh, black dudes are getting crushed by Percocet. Black dudes are getting crushed by opiates right now.

• 15:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:33Matt McCusker?

  Opiates and galaxy gas.

• 15:35Speaker 00

  Galaxy gas.

• 15:36Matt McCusker?

  Galaxy gas.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  What's galaxy gas?

• 15:37Matt McCusker?

  Whipits. Black dudes discovered whipits this year.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  They just discovered whipits?

• 15:41Matt McCusker?

  They just discovered whipits and it's not good. They're getting fucked up. You, if you do too much, uh, nitrous, apparently it stops your body from being able to produce vitamin B. Which is like important for your nervous system and like it fucks you up.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:54Matt McCusker?

  And dudes are calling off. First of all, they all say smoking or you're not smoking anything.

• 15:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:59Matt McCusker?

  You're just huffing Galaxy gas and it's like dude, it rocked, Whippets rocked black people.

• 16:05Speaker 00

  It's hurting the community.

• 16:06Matt McCusker?

  It's crushing them. But their voice does get deep, which is sick. So you can be like, and you get like three seconds of just like the ultimate OG. Then you fall over and like the fucking best vibe part you want. Shit, I don't care. You just go down. You just go down.

• 16:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 16:27Matt McCusker?

  He just, he's just dead in the charger.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  Oh, oh shit.

• 16:40Speaker 00

  I've been watching a YouTube guy that you've probably watched or would enjoy. There's like a, it's like a Pakistani English guy. I think he's Pakistani. I don't know. It's something.

• 16:49Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 16:50Speaker 00

  But he goes to America to go to hoods and interview people.

• 16:54Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 16:55Speaker 00

  In the ghetto.

• 16:56Matt McCusker?

  Dude, that's a huge genre right now.

• 16:58Speaker 00

  So bruv, when did you decide to jump off the porch?

• 17:02Matt McCusker?

  That's not, oh dude, that's the best.

• 17:03Speaker 00

  When did you jump off the porch?

• 17:05Matt McCusker?

  They all use like hood slang.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:07Matt McCusker?

  So funny. Oh, what'd you just hit a lick? And they're like, no, no.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's all that.

• 17:11Matt McCusker?

  It's dude, those guys, Brandon Buckingham apparently got like wrapped up in like a shooting. He was another guy who was like, he did like, I think he did like Skrilla and all these names, like inside the most dangerous neighborhood.

• 17:21Speaker 00

  He interviewed Skrilla on one of them and Skrilla was the man.

• 17:24Matt McCusker?

  Skrilla is the man.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  So far, everybody in Philly was like, uh, Mr. Disrespectful.

• 17:29Matt McCusker?

  I know YBC duel, RIP, he got killed.

• 17:31Speaker 00

  It was the funniest interview I've ever seen. He's like, so what do they call you? Mr. Disrespectful, bro. He's like, I'd just really be disrespecting everybody. It's like, alright, you fucking asshole. He digged up the ops grave.

• 17:44Matt McCusker?

  He got killed dude in West Philly.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, he got killed right after that interview.

• 17:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  But Skrilla was the only one that, cause every time he always asks, he's like, would you put the guns down if the ops put the guns down? And everyone's always like, no, we gotta exterminate the ops.

• 17:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  Skrilla was just like. Yeah.

• 17:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 18:00Matt McCusker?

  Well, he.

• 18:00Speaker 00

  I think he had like a nice upbringing. Or nicer.

• 18:04Matt McCusker?

  He well, his dad was in the picture. I've watched like seven Skrill interviews.

• 18:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, he kind of rules.

• 18:08Matt McCusker?

  He does rule, dude. I've, I've messaged him before. Did I tell you what happened the one time?

• 18:12Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 18:13Matt McCusker?

  So, yeah, like I saw, I was watching him on a Kensington live feed.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:16Matt McCusker?

  And I had to tell him, I was like, bro, if they got the drop on you, dude, you better get out of there. But he, uh, cause.

• 18:21Speaker 00

  Did he respond?

• 18:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he talked to me. He was like, that's crazy. I was like, bro, I'm watching you on a live stream on YouTube, like your whereabouts.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 18:30Matt McCusker?

  And then I'd watch him go into the bar he was going into, then I'd watch inside the bar on his Instagram live. It was crazy, dude. But yeah, he is the absolute man, but his thing was he works with a bunch of other, he just works with all these different gangs do, and then he would like surprise guys and put them on the same track and they would like spaz, cause they were like, you know.

• 18:51Speaker 00

  They're the ops.

• 18:51Matt McCusker?

  The ops. And he would just not tell them and put them on the same track and they'd be like, what the fuck, dude? He's the man. I love that guy. This episode is brought to you by Viori.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:01Matt McCusker?

  I've been wearing the Sunday Performance joggers and I'll be honest, I didn't expect to have opinions about joggers, but I do.

• 19:07Speaker 00

  Oh, I know you do.

• 19:08Matt McCusker?

  Well, they're soft, lightweight and have four-way stretch. So they can move with you with no restriction. They're technically workout clothes. So you can train in them, but they don't look like workout clothes. You can wear them out and people will think you've got your life together. Honestly, they're comfier than whatever you're wearing right now. Unless you're already wearing Viori, in which case, respect.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  And with the holidays coming up, Viori makes gift giving easy. Uh, I was close to that. Uh, whether it's the Sunday collection or the Strato collection, their bestsellers are go-to gifts for everyone on your list, including yourself. Get 20% off your first purchase at Viori.com slash secret and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. I was, I did like Mr. Disrespectful.

• 19:56Matt McCusker?

  I love, yeah, YBC Duals.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  It was pretty fun to look how he handled himself.

• 19:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Well, it's funny too, cause they're young as fuck, dude. They're like 22, 23. Just get in the bag, get the bag dude, I I'm rooting for him dude, I hope they do well.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:09Matt McCusker?

  I need Skrilla dude to not die from drugs. All those guys dude, all like, when you watch like Million Dollars Worth of Game, it's just those two dudes, Gilly and Wa- Wilo or whatever, just talking to dudes like, they did the Kodak Black episode, and he just, the dude's just like dipping out, he's so hot.

• 20:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, Kodak's unfortunately very fucked up right now.

• 20:28Matt McCusker?

  Did you see when he threw a pill up in the air on, I think it was Kaisenat?

• 20:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:33Matt McCusker?

  That was a little twitch for the itch or something, it was a little glitch for the

• 20:36Speaker 00

  He, he wouldn't leave.

• 20:37Matt McCusker?

  And he called it.

• 20:37Speaker 00

  He wouldn't leave though, Kaisenat was trying to get him to leave and he's like,

• 20:44Speaker 00

  it's like, holy shit.

• 20:45Matt McCusker?

  Dude, fucking NBA Youngboy, same thing, they did a thing for him and he'd just be like, yeah, he was so fucked up, he couldn't talk, and they were like, listen to me, yeah, it was a really moving speech, man, he talked to Kodak Black and gave him a speech and I was like, I was like, damn, that's actually

• 20:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:00Matt McCusker?

  Very moving, but yeah, dude, you guys can't do the fucking, I tried to warn my black friends a long time ago. So guys, the white, the pills came for us, dude, we felt, it was winter for a long time. Don't make the same mistake, and they're like, nah, bro, I'd be fucking on these things forever, I'm like,

• 21:16Matt McCusker?

  it's not gonna work out that way, dude, you're gonna be a junkie.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  It's a damn shame.

• 21:20Matt McCusker?

  It's a goddamn shame, dude, but dude, the Notre, sorry, the Notre Dame game, I told you, I saw the funniest thing I've ever seen, cause I was sitting in like, there, I was sitting near a lot of Indiana fans, cause it was like, you know, it's in Indiana or whatever, and I had, the SDI hat on, which is red. So a lot of Indiana fans thought I was repping Indiana. So I was just like, sitting with them, and then there was like these Notre Dame fans, it was like, three early twenty something kids, with like a, you know, fifty something year old dad. And when they scored that like, that one run, like, early on, the, like, the Indiana guys were like yelling stuff like, uh, and then like, nothing crazy, but this one kid Notre Dame fan turns around to like an old man in decked out Indiana gear and goes, fuck you!

• 22:05Matt McCusker?

  Dude, like, you know how close everybody is?

• 22:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:07Matt McCusker?

  He was like, right here, in this man's face, screamed at him, double bird to the face, and I was just like,

• 22:13Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 22:14Matt McCusker?

  And dude, I was like, it was the funny and the old man was like, don't, hey, no, don't say that to me. It was a fucking funny. And then the kid's dad was like, don't do that, knock that off. And it was so funny.

• 22:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, you see, I've gotten in fights at games.

• 22:28Matt McCusker?

  Bro, that was, I, I'm surprised.

• 22:30Speaker 00

  It's crazy how people think they can talk to you during a football game.

• 22:34Matt McCusker?

  I'm surprised one of, because I think that guy had his kin with him, some relations. You, you would think that someone would have been like, because you can just destroy somebody and just shove them.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  I had some Michigan fans while ago.

• 22:44Matt McCusker?

  Did you?

• 22:44Speaker 00

  Behind me and my cousin.

• 22:46Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  And my cousin's nuts. He's out of, he's out of his mind. And these guys were talking shit and they're like, oh, what are you guys gonna do about it? And I was just like, we're gonna fucking kill these guys.

• 22:56Matt McCusker?

  Did they have the high ground?

• 22:57Speaker 00

  They did. They were the row behind us.

• 22:58Matt McCusker?

  See, this guy.

• 22:59Speaker 00

  We would have fucked them up.

• 22:59Matt McCusker?

  Okay, it's just one row, one row's not bad. You just scoop them down. But dude, the, this guy, his dad, he was like humiliating his dad. His dad obviously brought his three, him and his three friends or two friends to the game. The whole time was, it was kind of funny.

• 23:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, I guess I have been in every game I go to. The Ohio State Notre Dame game.

• 23:16Matt McCusker?

  They should separate the sides like a high school game, dude. That's crazy, the way they do that. But this guy, so finally his dad like shamed him into apologizing, turned around and he's like, I'm sorry, sir, that wasn't appropriate for me to do that.

• 23:26Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 23:27Matt McCusker?

  It was nice, but he took, but I'm like, all right, he, he wasn't sincere.

• 23:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:30Matt McCusker?

  His dad got up to leave and I saw he popped his phone up in a group chat. He was like, I just said fuck you to this guy behind me and my dad got mad. What a pussy.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  That's Mr. Disrespectful. That's a young disrespectful.

• 23:45Matt McCusker?

  Totally Mr. Disrespectful.

• 23:46Speaker 00

  Disrespecting everybody.

• 23:47Matt McCusker?

  He was. And then he, you just, every play, you just yell shit out. But yeah, that was, that was, uh, that was so fun.

• 23:53Speaker 00

  It's too bad though, because Indiana, they're not really the ops.

• 23:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man, they're.

• 23:56Speaker 00

  Penn State's the ops.

• 23:57Matt McCusker?

  I know, dude.

• 23:58Speaker 00

  This is the game.

• 23:58Matt McCusker?

  This is it. This is the ultimate game. This Pennsylvania might break out in the civil war.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  Pennsylvania will go crazy.

• 24:04Matt McCusker?

  This is like.

• 24:04Speaker 00

  This is, this is the most stressful game possible.

• 24:07Matt McCusker?

  They gotta beat them, bro. They gotta do it for those kids.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 24:11Matt McCusker?

  Although, both sides.

• 24:12Speaker 00

  No, no, no. That's what they all try, that's how nasty these Penn State fans are. They're like, yeah, what about the Catholic Church? You're like, dude, Notre Dame's its own thing.

• 24:20Matt McCusker?

  That's why we need his teachings even more, even, you know, all men fall.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:24Matt McCusker?

  So we do, yeah, don't disgrace the teachings. But yeah, that's true. What about the Catholic Church? It's like, nah, dude.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Don't fucking bring that into this.

• 24:30Matt McCusker?

  First of all, that's different.

• 24:32Speaker 00

  That's different.

• 24:32Matt McCusker?

  That's different, bro.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  We all know that's different. That's so different. That's family business.

• 24:36Matt McCusker?

  That's in-house, bro.

• 24:37Speaker 00

  That's in-house, that's family business. All right? Don't bring up Notre Dame.

• 24:40Matt McCusker?

  That's so different.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  All right?

• 24:42Matt McCusker?

  They were being weird, bro.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  They were being weird as fuck.

• 24:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, religious, dude, we used to like chop virgins' heads off and kick them down the altar. People are gonna catch them strays in the church.

• 24:51Speaker 00

  People are gonna catch them strays. After all we did for the whole world, the Catholic Church?

• 24:54Matt McCusker?

  I know, dude.

• 24:55Speaker 00

  What did Penn State do? One title in 60 years under Joe Pough?

• 24:58Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dude, that's the, that's the thesis of that book.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  You get fired for that around Notre Dame, man.

• 25:03Matt McCusker?

  That's the thesis of dominion. Apparently every abolitionist movement early on was tied to Catholic Church.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  Where's he going?

• 25:13Speaker 00

  That's, I think that's mine.

• 25:14Matt McCusker?

  Ooh.

• 25:15Speaker 00

  What are you doing with it? Let's get mad at coffee.

• 25:17Matt McCusker?

  Just in time, bro. Just talking about worldviews.

• 25:21Speaker 00

  It's too big, it's, it's, so I, when I was living here, I started like, not like Penn State, but you know what I mean? Like, I'm like.

• 25:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 25:28Speaker 00

  I know some of the guys that played for him now, and it's like, especially in the South where like the North, like can't play football.

• 25:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  So then you start to be like, no, Penn State's actually not bad.

• 25:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  And then I went back home for five months, surrounded by my friends.

• 25:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  I fucking hate Penn State, dude. I fucking hate them. I hate them, dude.

• 25:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that'll be a huge, that's not the championship.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  It's the semifinals.

• 25:55Matt McCusker?

  Okay, then the championship.

• 25:55Speaker 00

  So we're down to four. It's gonna be Ohio State, Texas on Friday.

• 25:58Matt McCusker?

  Kinda want Texas to win that.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  Definitely need Texas to win that.

• 26:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  Ohio State's very good.

• 26:03Matt McCusker?

  Perfect little treat for me.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  I wanted you to have a little treat.

• 26:06Matt McCusker?

  That's a perfect little caffeine treat. Dude, I'm so going on the caffeine, man.

• 26:11Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you dude, my level of secret buzz, I've always been uh looking for a secret buzz during the day. But it's, I've been getting just atrocious with like.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Who's, what's up with weed? How's that going?

• 26:22Matt McCusker?

  I so.

• 26:23Speaker 00

  How's that for a secret buzz?

• 26:24Matt McCusker?

  I've taken a huge sabbatical from weed. But I have found these mints and you know, everyone likes to fucking milligram mog everybody else. Like, I like to do fifty and it's like, whatever, you do you. But I found these mints. They're two and a half milligrams. And that way you can kind of titrate the dough, so you don't just get like. Thwacked out, you know, I'll be, before I would try it on a playground with my kids and you just get like. Wobbled on a play, it's not a move, it's, it's not the, you know, it's not the road to successful parenting. But a little two point five milligram? Perfect.

• 26:56Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 26:57Matt McCusker?

  And it just, especially if you're out drinking. I take one with every drink and it's like, that way like that fourth one hits, you're, you're in the ten milligram zone. Which isn't nothing crazy, but it's enough to give you the jiminy cricket on your shoulder. In terms of drinking, cause it's like, man, when that ball, that ball rolled away from me in Boston dude, and I got.

• 27:14Speaker 00

  What happened?

• 27:15Matt McCusker?

  I just got, I was in Boston, I would be like, my cousin met me up there.

• 27:18Speaker 00

  You got fucked up?

• 27:18Matt McCusker?

  I got, dude, I got fucking hammered, it was a while ago. To the point where like, they're, they do those tours. In a, like. Boston does those Paul Revere tours, they're like, ooh, this ancient fucking graveyard. It was actually sick, me and my cousin were out there, we'd been drinking all day. And uh, we were smoking cigars near a graveyard.

• 27:40Matt McCusker?

  But you couldn't get in, we were trying to get in, cause it was fenced off, it was like an old, old.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  Trying to get into the cemetery.

• 27:45Matt McCusker?

  Smoking cigars on a billion of those mints, I was just eating all day.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  Oh no.

• 27:48Matt McCusker?

  And I was like trying to get in, cause they, they had like these candlelit tours and like this ancient graveyard.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  That'd be sick.

• 27:53Matt McCusker?

  So I tried to get in the door, they wouldn't let us in, so we got in this other area where we could get like real close, but we, you know, we were like a little bit gated off. But then the tour came by.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  Freedom Trail, isn't that what it's called? No, fuck.

• 28:04Matt McCusker?

  It's probably something like that, a guy was dressed like Paul Revere getting a tour.

• 28:06Speaker 00

  What's his name, you see that, Sam? From Boston. No, he used to do the. Yeah, same like you said, he's be a reenactor on that. Yeah.

• 28:18Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it was kinda sick on that. We were like sitting there, we already, we were just like sitting there puffing our stokes, just me and my cousin was like hammered just sitting there and they're like, he was saying how like Harvard, like in the early days of America would pay grave robbers to go dig up people's loved ones so they could examine their dead bodies.

• 28:36Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 28:36Matt McCusker?

  It was like a weird job, like a, a black market job you could get, you could just dig up dead bodies and sell them to Harvard.

• 28:41Speaker 00

  Mr. Disrespectful.

• 28:42Matt McCusker?

  It was a way of life. It was truly a way of life. And, uh, and so we're sitting there, we're on the edge of the thing and I was like, yo, let's get it. Can you get us inside? I wasn't even part of the tour. I was like, can we get inside? The guy is the Paul Revere guy. I was like, no. And I was like, oh, that's fucking lame. Then they're like, moving on.

• 29:02Matt McCusker?

  But I did see, uh, I saw two young, or two or three young bros on city bikes and they were like, I was talking to them, they were listeners of the podcast and I was hammered. There's these two girls over there. I was just doing like the old guy thing of like, bro, go talk to those fucking girls.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  If I were you guys, shit, if I didn't have a wife, I'd be talking to those girls.

• 29:17Matt McCusker?

  The girls were getting loud and I was like, they're just acting up, bro. They're desperate for your attention, man. They see you on those fucking city bikes. They want you guys to ride over. Like, you wanna come to Fenway with us? And I was like, strongly considering it. I was like, I gotta go, man. Like get a city bike. It's like a five mile ride. And I was like, mm, I better go inside. But yeah, I got, I woke up with the worst hangover possibly. It was like the, the weed didn't, the alcohol won.

• 29:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:42Matt McCusker?

  But those weed edibles were still, cause I don't know, I,

• 29:44Speaker 00

  What were you drinking? Were you drinking liquor or something?

• 29:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was drinking liquor, ciders, wine. I was drinking everything. I was doing it all, dude. And we went to the Cheers bar.

• 29:55Speaker 00

  You gotta go to Cheers bar.

• 29:55Matt McCusker?

  So funny, dude. We went to the Cheers bar. My, my cousin's wife was like, I know this is stupid, guys. I really wanna go. We're like, no, no, it's not stupid. As soon as we got there, like, wow, so cool.

• 30:08Matt McCusker?

  Well, we, once we got in there, it was like, it's hard to get seats in there. And we just, it was like, it's, it's actually kind of an aggressive place. Everyone's trying to like get to the bar. It's honestly, I don't know, I don't wanna talk badly about the Cheers bar, but it, it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. But we actually, Actually got to the bar and it was it was like kind of a hard thing to do and um it was just a stroke of luck. And once we dug in there, I just was crushing draft siders like I couldn't stop.

• 30:33Speaker 00

  It's fun time.

• 30:33Matt McCusker?

  It was so.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  It's cheers bar, bro.

• 30:35Matt McCusker?

  Exactly, bro.

• 30:36Speaker 00

  What are you gonna do?

• 30:36Matt McCusker?

  And they have things of normisms and whatever the guy. So dude, they have, they have.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  Oh god, they do you have those dumb plates you can buy? That's exactly what this fucking dipshit brought.

• 30:45Matt McCusker?

  Well dude, they have.

• 30:46Speaker 00

  You wanna hang it in here?

• 30:47Matt McCusker?

  They have like a bucket and they have, they have little like.

• 30:49Speaker 00

  Day one during his panic attack from moving. He thought he was dying. He was laying on my couch like I'm dying. He's like, you're just, you're just nervous from the move, bro. It's okay.

• 30:59Matt McCusker?

  How many, didn't you drink like ten Jake Paul drinks on the way down here?

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, six Celsius.

• 31:06Matt McCusker?

  Oh my god. And then took mushrooms?

• 31:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, the next day.

• 31:09Matt McCusker?

  And then thought he was gonna die.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  And I, yeah, we'd go to Nickel City at night.

• 31:16Speaker 00

  That's a good time.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  It was a good time, yeah. It was New Year's Eve. It was a good time.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's good.

• 31:21Matt McCusker?

  Oh wow.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was, you would love it, dude. You can pull in this bucket and it's just different normisms. There's another ism. I don't know what character that was, but the normisms do hit kinda hard. So we would just pull them out, read them to my cousin's wife and go, typical norm.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  Classic, classic norm.

• 31:38Matt McCusker?

  Classic norms, man. Cheers, nothing better than it. Yeah, it was very fun. But then I got kinda hammered there. Then they went, our wives went out to like do something. So we sat at, that was, oh, I didn't tell you, I didn't tell you about this. So then we stood, we sat, so then we go, me and my cousin go to this like fancy looking like cavernous Mexican place. It was like, you can upscale Mexican place. I just sat there and just crushed margaritas. The bartender was attractive, full disclosure. Attractive.

• 32:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 32:06Matt McCusker?

  Maybe twenty-six-year-old bartender, it was pretty wild.

• 32:08Speaker 00

  Awesome.

• 32:09Matt McCusker?

  And so we're, me and my cousin are sitting there, just cool, just two old-school players, dude.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  Just chilling out, maxing.

• 32:13Matt McCusker?

  Just chilling out.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  Just chilling out, maxing.

• 32:15Matt McCusker?

  Being normal as hell and like, so then like we're sitting there drinking and then the guy next to us finishes his drink, stands up, shakes the bartender's hand.

• 32:23Speaker 00

  Peace.

• 32:24Matt McCusker?

  And I was like, bro, that is the horniest shit I've ever seen. And mind you, she had made me custom margarita, not a big deal.

• 32:31Speaker 00

  Nothing.

• 32:32Matt McCusker?

  Cause she was like.

• 32:32Speaker 00

  Personalizing things.

• 32:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, she was like, what do you want? My thing is, is I go, when I'm at a bar, I go, just hit me with some crazy shit. I know you can dream stuff up. You go full mixologist. Hit me with a passion fruit margarita. I mean, I think she was kinda sending me, you know, when a woman gives you passion fruit, anything, she's trying to tell you something, but I was just kinda like, hey, chill out, lady.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:52Matt McCusker?

  So then, so I'm sitting there like.

• 32:53Speaker 00

  You made no friendly advances.

• 32:55Matt McCusker?

  Not at all. I, she could have been a obese forty year old man. I would have treated her not differently.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  Yes, strictly business, straight from the cheers bar.

• 33:04Speaker 00

  You were nothing but serious.

• 33:05Matt McCusker?

  Trying to remember normisms to say to her.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  She's gonna love this one.

• 33:10Matt McCusker?

  But then I'm sitting there and I'm like, tell my cousin, like, dude, is that not the craziest thing? He's like, that was pretty nuts to stand up and shake the lady's hand. So then finally, after like three margaritas there, I was like.

• 33:20Speaker 00

  You had three margaritas.

• 33:22Matt McCusker?

  That's what a margarita is after, you know.

• 33:24Speaker 00

  You don't give her some head.

• 33:25Matt McCusker?

  Well, I was, I, I, I just, I had to ask her. I was like, yo, just, just from my understanding of the world, was that, was that kind of nuts how that guy shook your hand? And she was like, oh, it was like one of my old coworkers.

• 33:38Matt McCusker?

  Cause I was like such a horny guy. I was just jealous he touched her.

• 33:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course. Who does he think he is touching? Obviously my wife.

• 33:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but I, I asked.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  She likes me. She has a crush on me.

• 33:50Matt McCusker?

  I asked, bro. I asked and I was just like, yo, just, I was, that was weird, right?

• 33:54Speaker 00

  There's a, the horniest guys on earth are guys talking to cart girls at golf. Those are the horniest guy. There's videos, there's videos, you can find it. There's some good videos online of guys coming up to cart girls and like, you understand how beautiful you are, right? Like what you do, you brighten my day. Like cutting her off from getting back in the cart and being like, I love you.

• 34:17Matt McCusker?

  There's a, yeah, I go to, there's a golf course near me that I go to that they also, they serve fucking like fantastic taco. The food is awesome. So we'll bring the kids there and let them run around after like the driving range shuts down. They give the run around on the grass. We just crush tacos, but I didn't know that was a thing. Cause I saw a lady driving a golf cart.

• 34:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:36Matt McCusker?

  And just, just out of like, like literally innocent.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  It's the hottest outfit possible. It's like tennis skirt and polo.

• 34:42Matt McCusker?

  I was trying to figure out, I was like, is this a thing? I thought it was just like a one off.

• 34:44Speaker 00

  And she comes to give you drinks and snacks.

• 34:46Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 34:47Speaker 00

  While you're already hammered on the golf course and you go.

• 34:49Matt McCusker?

  See, I didn't know that.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  And while your wife is saying, where are you? You've been gone too long. You go, bitch, I'm on the third fucking hole.

• 34:57Matt McCusker?

  That game seems designed to just like absolutely crush wives. It's so long.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:03Matt McCusker?

  It's so long and it's just the bros and they split it up. Yeah. Hey, no, no, no, it's, there's a girls golf, there's guys golf. Something I'd love to get into, but I, I just don't have the time.

• 35:13Speaker 00

  I went to the driver range a couple of times.

• 35:14Matt McCusker?

  Driver range is sick.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  With Gerbys, he loves it. It's all Gerbys talks about.

• 35:17Matt McCusker?

  Could I walk the grounds with a walking stick and not play?

• 35:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, you could just walk on.

• 35:23Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying. I would like to.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  People might come up and be like, who are you?

• 35:26Matt McCusker?

  Like, I'm, I'm, I'm a man.

• 35:28Speaker 00

  I'm hiking. I'm trying to find the car girl. My daughter was, I'm from Pennsylvania. My daughter went missing. I think she's a car girl. She fell in with the wrong crowd. The club pro here took her under his wing.

• 35:42Matt McCusker?

  She fell in with some caddies.

• 35:44Speaker 00

  Some tough caddies.

• 35:47Speaker 00

  Now she's a whore.

• 35:50Matt McCusker?

  My cousin was caddying for a long time and he like got nasty at golf.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:54Matt McCusker?

  He's, I think he's like sub 80.

• 35:56Speaker 00

  That's pretty good.

• 35:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm always blown away.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  It's as good as it gets, yeah.

• 35:58Matt McCusker?

  I hear about people going sub 100. I'm like, damn, bro.

• 36:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can play.

• 36:02Matt McCusker?

  But yeah.

• 36:03Speaker 00

  People ask me, people ask me to go golfing all the time. Like, bro, I'll hit a 250.

• 36:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  I will hit a, you won't believe the number I'll hit.

• 36:10Matt McCusker?

  Well, I heard, I was talking about, I was talking about this to someone. They're like, no, you do pairs, best ball, whatever it's called.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  Best ball is kind of fun.

• 36:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and you just do nine holes. He's like, 18 is crazy.

• 36:20Speaker 00

  Unless we're drinking.

• 36:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 36:22Speaker 00

  It's the best part. The back nine, you're blacked out. And you get to drive a golf car around and you go, watch this.

• 36:28Matt McCusker?

  It is a safe haven for drunk driving.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  It's so fun.

• 36:30Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, dudes whip those things too. Cause I, I did feel bad. Cause I'll unleash like the kids on the putting green. And like, usually I'm there late enough where no one's on there, but the other day there was a lot of people on the putting green. They were just trying to do putts while like girls are doing like cartwheels around. It was so fucking funny.

• 36:46Speaker 00

  They gotta, you know, they gotta figure out how to hit it under pressure.

• 36:48Matt McCusker?

  That's what I was saying. I was like, hey man, sorry my kids don't do polite golf class. Like you gotta.

• 36:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. You gotta earn it around here.

• 36:54Matt McCusker?

  There was a guy, I was like, dude, it was actually like, I think it was like two days ago. He was working on chip shots and there was, dude, there was like for real like seven little kids running around. He was chipping it and I was like, man, this guy must be confident.

• 37:05Speaker 00

  He's focused.

• 37:06Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he fucking just sunk it. Like on, like he just sunk a hole in one chip shot on the crack.

• 37:10Speaker 00

  Showing off for the kids.

• 37:11Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck? I'd be so worried I was gonna crack a kid in the head with the ball. For real dude, I'm not, I'm like, he was hitting it hard enough to where I was like, damn, bro. Yeah, that golf course is the chill spot, though. Tacos, chill.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  You gotta hit the range.

• 37:25Matt McCusker?

  I do, I hit the range every now and again.

• 37:26Speaker 00

  Oh, alright.

• 37:27Matt McCusker?

  I'm not bad, dude. I can hit it like, and I don't know where this came from. I can hit it straight somehow, not with a driver, driver.

• 37:34Speaker 00

  Driver's so hard.

• 37:35Matt McCusker?

  Driver, I've sent a couple out into the road. And they're like, if you send it in the road, you're financially responsible. It's like, I don't think so, bro.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:42Matt McCusker?

  Pretty sure I'm hitting golf clubs, that's your business. I'm pretty sure you're the one with the insurance.

• 37:47Speaker 00

  If I hit a car, I'm obviously leaving and not telling anyone I did that.

• 37:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm gonna be like, that, when you see that cart, it fucking shot it out like a longrode, that wasn't fucking me. But yeah, dude, I've weirdly got better at sports in, as I'm older, it's bizarre.

• 38:01Speaker 00

  It happens a little, you slow down, you're not as.

• 38:03Matt McCusker?

  Just chill.

• 38:04Speaker 00

  You're not spazzing, you're not nervous.

• 38:05Matt McCusker?

  Exactly. That, dude, I'm telling you, that field goal kick, I didn't, wasn't nervous.

• 38:09Speaker 00

  You had, bro.

• 38:11Matt McCusker?

  Bro. And all I could think about, I was telling you, was that quote where it's like, it's like some Chinese Zen thing where it's like, as soon as the archer thinks about the prize, his mind becomes divided from the target. And I was just like, dude, all I gotta think about's the target. I was totally.

• 38:26Speaker 00

  You were locked in.

• 38:27Matt McCusker?

  I was totally locked in. I didn't, if I made it, that would have been sick, but I was like, just happy I got it up into the air and moved, but it's like, dude, ping pong, then I played ping pong that night.

• 38:35Speaker 00

  That was awesome.

• 38:36Matt McCusker?

  Me and James were playing ping pong.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  That was so fun.

• 38:38Matt McCusker?

  I'm good at ping pong now?

• 38:39Speaker 00

  I was hammered just watching them play ping pong at night.

• 38:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that was.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  It was great. I just sat on the couch, watched you guys try your hardest, diving.

• 38:45Matt McCusker?

  Were you surprised about the fucking?

• 38:48Speaker 00

  But then I did, when you went to bed, I said, I'm gonna bring in my old workhorse, Chris O'Connor. Get down here, I know Connor's gonna be good at this. O'Connor was nasty.

• 38:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I believe it.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  That was my favorite part of the trip, probably.

• 39:01Matt McCusker?

  I.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  Was talking you and James into going back down and competing again.

• 39:05Matt McCusker?

  Well, the craziest, he beat me, and then I beat him. And he came up and he's like, I beat the second, I'm like.

• 39:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, they were like, Matt told me who won, they played three games?

• 39:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we did two sets of best out of three. He won the first, I won the middle, he won the second, or the third, I guess.

• 39:18Speaker 00

  Okay. It was very, it was, it was an easy one. Even, even hammered to just be like, James, didn't you just say you won the game?

• 39:26Matt McCusker?

  He did, it was crazy.

• 39:27Speaker 00

  And then they both are like, no, no.

• 39:29Matt McCusker?

  We had to go back down there.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  You guys were itching to play, anyway.

• 39:32Matt McCusker?

  He played great, but dude, out of nowhere, we like, we're fucking around, I was like. It was crazy, bro. It was unbelievable.

• 39:39Speaker 00

  It's exciting times.

• 39:40Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you, man, getting like better at every sport and nearing your forties is like, it's kind of been a welcome and it is, it's all mental.

• 39:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:48Matt McCusker?

  It's like, I, I just don't care about like missing basketball shots.

• 39:50Speaker 00

  You gotta hit a baseball. I'd see you out there. I'd like to see you. Little home run derby. I bet you can hit it.

• 39:54Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, man. That was my greatest sports weakness was the swing in the back.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, cuz it was scary cuz someone was throwing a fast pitch.

• 40:00Matt McCusker?

  Now I don't care. I'd love a ball to hit me in the fucking head right now.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, knock me.

• 40:04Matt McCusker?

  Just kill me.

• 40:05Speaker 00

  Knock me the fuck out.

• 40:08Speaker 00

  I'm done with this day already.

• 40:09Matt McCusker?

  Charge the machine. Yeah, dude, I've been skateboarding fearlessly.

• 40:13Speaker 00

  I'm worried about that.

• 40:14Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna, I might.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  You sent me the videos. I said, you better slow down, man.

• 40:16Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I, I might get a helmet and start going.

• 40:18Speaker 00

  You're gonna break a fucking collarbone or something.

• 40:20Matt McCusker?

  I'm not worried about bones. I'll break bones. I don't wanna fuck my head up.

• 40:22Speaker 00

  You're gonna sling on. You're gonna look like a dumbass.

• 40:26Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I skateboarding.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  That'll be funny for stand up.

• 40:28Matt McCusker?

  It would be kinda funny.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, broke my arm skating. Not a big deal.

• 40:32Matt McCusker?

  It's dude, the pump track is like you drop in and then you like, you have to like move your legs in a certain way to gain speed through the hills. Dude, you come up to the last hill, the really good guys like hit it and get air and then come down.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:45Matt McCusker?

  But just getting to the top of that thing, you're going, then you gotta come around like a little wall and dude, you're literally going like you're leaning and you're like, uh. And my, my uncle, he's dude, he does it with me. He's like 50. He was like.

• 40:56Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 40:57Matt McCusker?

  He said, he took a video, his son, my, my cousin freeze, freeze like the video, took a picture of my face. Like it looks like he's experiencing G-force cuz I'm like,

• 41:07Matt McCusker?

  fully nerding out. It's so funny. Dude, the skate park, it's so hard, like physically. I, I would do it like effortlessly when I was a kid.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:16Matt McCusker?

  You get destroyed, just like winded.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:20Matt McCusker?

  From just like pumping your legs and like balancing your body.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  When's the last time you went skiing?

• 41:24Matt McCusker?

  Not for a long time, dude. It's gotta kill you.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Pigs you up. Day two, you're like, oh shit, my legs don't work.

• 41:28Matt McCusker?

  You gotta be dead. Yeah. I, I was doing an hour and 10 minutes of skateboarding. My legs were fried for like two days. It's pretty fucking eye opening, honestly. It's pretty crazy, but dude, once you get decent at it, it's so sick. And then it's like, I try to like, I've been really trying to like, stamp this part of myself out, but it's like, you see the other parents with their kids and you're skating, you're like, hop on the board, pups. Hop on the board, bro. But I try, I try not to do that.

• 41:54Speaker 00

  What, make the other parents?

• 41:56Matt McCusker?

  Just be like, it's just gotta be funny. Cause like you're, I'm there watching parents with their toddlers.

• 42:01Speaker 00

  Yes, it's you and the toddlers.

• 42:02Matt McCusker?

  I'm ripping the skate park. And I almost want to tell them, I'm like, bro, grab the board.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  They're afraid to live free like you.

• 42:08Matt McCusker?

  Grab the board, bro.

• 42:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:09Matt McCusker?

  Grab the board. Cause I've talked to a lot of people like, I want to do it. I'm like, do it, dude. It's so scary when you first start dropping it.

• 42:16Speaker 00

  Never, ever.

• 42:17Matt McCusker?

  It's so scary.

• 42:18Speaker 00

  Just for the record, I'm never going near it.

• 42:20Matt McCusker?

  It's so scary. And I'm not saying, I'm not like shaming the dads. I'm more talking about like covertly seducing their wives.

• 42:27Matt McCusker?

  From my skating.

• 42:27Speaker 00

  Are there wives there while you're skating and you're just like?

• 42:30Matt McCusker?

  It's wives.

• 42:31Speaker 00

  Did you see that?

• 42:32Matt McCusker?

  It's the worst domestic setup where it's little kids, like little kids on those little zoomy bikes where like they don't even, some of them don't even have pedals. There's like a small beginners kind of like bowl looking thing. And then there's like the advanced pump track. And it's just kids meeting their demise. And then just moms freaking out at dads being like, are you watching them? And just dads in hell. And I'm just fucking riding.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  Floating.

• 42:53Matt McCusker?

  I'm just riding the waves.

• 42:54Speaker 00

  You got two milligrams in you and you're going, damn.

• 42:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. 6,000 milligrams of caffeine and like a little bit of weed is going, brother, grab the board, brother, get on the pump track. But yeah, it's funny. I am just kidding too. I'm not thinking about seducing men's wives, but the thought has crossed.

• 43:10Speaker 00

  Fun joke.

• 43:11Matt McCusker?

  It's a fun joke and the thought has crossed my mind. Like dude.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  How nice it would be to have sex with people's wives?

• 43:15Matt McCusker?

  No, not that. I'm all, I'm all about just getting that attraction and getting that energy.

• 43:20Speaker 00

  Bro, it's skate life at this point.

• 43:22Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 43:22Speaker 00

  You're a skater boy. You're obviously going to seduce women.

• 43:26Matt McCusker?

  I'm not gonna, well.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  Come on, man.

• 43:28Matt McCusker?

  I'll look. All, all, here's what I'm about.

• 43:30Speaker 00

  If I see a guy on the board, I go, honey, don't look.

• 43:32Matt McCusker?

  Honey, close your fucking eyes.

• 43:33Speaker 00

  Don't look.

• 43:34Matt McCusker?

  You see a four year old guy like, whoa shit.

• 43:38Speaker 00

  This guy on the pump track going one mile an hour. Don't look. Don't look babe.

• 43:42Matt McCusker?

  Well, you need enough speed. Otherwise you peter out on the pump track and that's embarrassing. And I, it took me three days.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  How many bails? Have you been bailing out in Harley?

• 43:51Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I bailed. I've slammed dude. I slammed hard the other day. I don't know what happened. Like when you come back up, I leaned forward a little bit too much. If you zone out for a second, you're fucked.

• 44:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:02Matt McCusker?

  I kinda zoned out and uh, you know, again, doesn't matter at all, but there was this like lady skating with gigantic tits and uh,

• 44:09Speaker 00

  Is there a lady with gigantic tits skating?

• 44:12Matt McCusker?

  You know, you see people and you're like, you definitely have five.

• 44:14Speaker 00

  And it's, it's hills right there, right? Was she hitting the hills?

• 44:17Matt McCusker?

  She, she was a youngster. She was a youngster, but I was, it was like, it was a guy. It was a young skater couple in love. But the lady was significantly better. And I shouldn't really be talking, I shouldn't be talking skate park confidential stuff, but like, but it was just a funny dynamic. Cause like dude, I was watching this lady. You know, you see people like if you're a girl who skateboards and you have like colored hair and you know, an apple bosom. You probably have 500,000 Instagram followers. You know, that shit translates to Instagram so well.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:44Matt McCusker?

  But uh, but they were holding down the skate park pretty hard.

• 44:46Speaker 00

  She dressed like the bully from the Simpsons. The one with like the skull cap and the hair coming. Yeah.

• 44:52Matt McCusker?

  Like a little skull cap.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  Is that Ralph's? Is Ralph the bully? No, Ralph's Nelson, but Nelson's friend. Nelson's friend is who I was thinking of.

• 44:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:00Speaker 00

  Doesn't he have a friend that Nelson is the bully?

• 45:03Matt McCusker?

  I'm thinking of dressing like Nelson and you were kinda spot on. But I, again, I shouldn't, I'm, I'm being a gross pig. I'm just, you know, there's obviously, you know, I, I have, I have dual natures.

• 45:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, this guy. I was thinking of Jimbo Jones.

• 45:16Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I was thinking more like the other guy.

• 45:19Speaker 00

  I feel like all the skater girls look like Jimbo Jones and Dolph Starbeam.

• 45:23Matt McCusker?

  It was, it's definitely big pants, but you know, there was a tank, there was a tank going on, but the uh,

• 45:29Matt McCusker?

  but my whole point was, it's like, you know, again, it's like, I'm not trying to be like gross or weird, but it does put a pressure when there's a young lady watching you do a physical activity. So I was just like, you know, you, you're part of, there's that part of you that's just kinda like, bro, I'm killing it dude. This is sick.

• 45:41Speaker 00

  So much better than your boyfriend. Not a big deal.

• 45:43Matt McCusker?

  So much fucking, although they were way better than me. But the uh, I like leaned forward real quick and just, I don't know what happened. I was going up a hill as I leaned forward. My skateboard stopped.

• 45:51Speaker 00

  You showed off for the young girl.

• 45:54Matt McCusker?

  Slammed onto the concrete and had to be like, oh, yeah dude.

• 45:57Speaker 00

  You're trying to show off for the, the little kids. You're Matt Skate Dusky.

• 46:03Matt McCusker?

  No, they're in their twenties, bro.

• 46:07Speaker 00

  Hold on, I got a whiz. Can we take a timeout?

• 46:09Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 46:14Speaker 00

  I like this.

• 46:15Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still, just one scoop once a day. Vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mixes great, doesn't taste like a fistfight. Packaged travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod and for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil

• 47:00Matt McCusker?

  and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 47:12Speaker 00

  Mint Mobile.

• 47:13Matt McCusker?

  Mint took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with premium wireless for 15 bucks a month.

• 47:19Speaker 00

  No gimmicks, no gotchas. You can even bring your current phone and your number. Go to mintmobile.com/drenched.

• 47:29Matt McCusker?

  Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50GB may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20GB of hotspot. Capable devices required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  Incredible.

• 47:49Matt McCusker?

  Polls. PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action. With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, PrizePix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 1,000 times your cash. Run your game all season long on PrizePix, dude. Shane, it's playoff time.

• 48:12Speaker 00

  It is playoff time.

• 48:13Matt McCusker?

  It's now or never.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  It's now or never.

• 48:15Matt McCusker?

  Don't miss out on the last few weeks of football action with PrizePicks. The best place to win cash while watching the playoffs.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:22Matt McCusker?

  PrizePicks now offers MasterCard for quick and easy deposits into your account this sports season.

• 48:28Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 48:29Matt McCusker?

  Good news, your friend MasterCard has joined the fucking game.

• 48:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:32Matt McCusker?

  Sign up today and get fifty dollars instantly when you play five dollars. You don't even need to win to receive the fifty dollar bonus.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  What did you say?

• 48:39Matt McCusker?

  I said, sign up today and get fifty dollars instantly when you play five dollars. You don't even need to win.

• 48:43Speaker 00

  What the fuck?

• 48:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  When there, do you hear this? They're just giving away money.

• 48:46Matt McCusker?

  Fifty dollars. It's called a bonus, dude. It's guaranteed.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Get in there.

• 48:50Matt McCusker?

  PrizePicks also offers weekly promotions that can lead to big payouts like Taco Tuesday. Each Tuesday, PrizePicks discounts select player projections up to 25% to provide even more value for your lineups. Think Lamar Jackson will get more than 250 passing yards next week? Will Patrick Mahomes pass more than 1.5 TDs? Cook up hot takes with your friends and win

• 49:10Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 49:11Matt McCusker?

  real money this football. Yeah, I feel like he probably will.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  I think Mahomes. I like that.

• 49:15Matt McCusker?

  Definitely more than 1.5. Cook up hot takes with your friends and win a real money this football season when you and your crew run your game on PrizePicks. I mean, that's such a good fucking thing.

• 49:26Speaker 00

  Sick ass crew we have.

• 49:27Matt McCusker?

  Dude, download the PrizePicks app today and use code DRENCHED to get fifty dollars instantly after you play your first five dollar lineup. That's code DRENCHED on the PrizePicks app to get fifty dollars instantly after you play your first five dollar lineup. PrizePicks.

• 49:41Speaker 00

  Run your game. Run your game right now.

• 49:45Matt McCusker?

  Also, please come to Atlanta this weekend. I'll be at the Helium Comedy Club in supposedly what's Atlanta, but apparently I've learned it's 40 minutes outside of Atlanta.

• 49:54Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 49:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, a little different there, but the, uh, it's in the greater Atlanta area. I'll be there Thursday till Saturday. Please come. Thank you.

• 50:03Speaker 00

  I have San Antonio, Dallas, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Vancouver, Seattle, Minneapolis, Tampa, Jacksonville. Be on the lookout. Let me see who's not selling tickets. What the heck's going on here?

• 50:18Speaker 00

  Whoa, 60s. Birmingham, Alabama. I need you. I'll be in Birmingham, Alabama. April 26th.

• 50:30Speaker 00

  Uh, what else you got, Lemmy? Go ahead.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  Take a knee, take a knee, take a knee, take a knee. Take a knee.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  Hey, everybody. Hello, it's me, Lemare. January 16th, I'm gonna be at Hilli-Filium.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  Hillium Philly, come to that, that'll be sick.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  Hilli-Filium.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  January 19th, the Amaya Theater, please come there. Yeah. Lemare lead our fun.

• 51:00Matt McCusker?

  Didn't even flinch, bro.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  Didn't flinch at all. Walked straight into it.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  I'll be in St. Pete and, and, in Las Vegas in February, please come if you can.

• 51:08Speaker 00

  You mean in Las Vegas in February?

• 51:10Matt McCusker?

  Wise guys.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Wise guys in Las Vegas and Coastal Creative in St. Pete, Florida.

• 51:14Speaker 00

  That'll be fun, get you down there.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Valentine's weekend.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  Ooh, nice.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Please, for the love of God, come if you can.

• 51:19Speaker 00

  Bring your sweetheart.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  Bring your sweetheart, come watch me.

• 51:23Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  Stand up. Goodbye, thank you.

• 51:25Speaker 00

  Let's get back to that fun episode. Hey. Sean, you, no, you decide. Stop rolling your eyes, dude. God. I'm just joshing you, bud.

• 51:37Matt McCusker?

  Hat, motherfucking damn.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  I mean, it's been, it's been so wonderful to be back.

• 51:41Matt McCusker?

  It's been nice, man.

• 51:42Speaker 00

  To see the fellows.

• 51:44Matt McCusker?

  Fuck, man, it was, you know, look, it's a cold, mean world out there, bro.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  It is.

• 51:49Matt McCusker?

  It's a cold, mean world, but...

• 51:51Speaker 00

  But now they're back. Now the bros are back.

• 51:53Matt McCusker?

  Bros are back, dude. Morale is fucking soaring.

• 51:55Speaker 00

  Morale's at an all-time high.

• 51:56Matt McCusker?

  It is soaring right now.

• 51:58Speaker 00

  Now you're back, now you guys run the mothership. Now that I'm back, you guys get to walk around with your chest held a little higher. You go, "Do you know who my friend is?"

• 52:11Speaker 00

  He does Bud Light commercials.

• 52:16Matt McCusker?

  True, you guys should start really throwing your weight around.

• 52:20Speaker 00

  You should, dude.

• 52:22Matt McCusker?

  Why not?

• 52:22Speaker 00

  You guys gotta do battle with the Kill Tony crew.

• 52:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you guys-

• 52:26Speaker 00

  You have to.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  We can't, we can't do that, dude.

• 52:29Matt McCusker?

  Why?

• 52:29Speaker 00

  You have to battle them. They, they think, they own you guys.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  They think.

• 52:34Speaker 00

  They think.

• 52:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you guys should at least challenge one, like a public beef would be nice.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Don't get me started, dude, don't do it.

• 52:43Speaker 00

  You will do it. You're gonna, you're gonna do it without us even fucking asking. And I'm not defending you, I'm gonna side with the Kill Tony crew guys.

• 52:53Speaker 00

  The Kill Tony Crew of Mutants versus Guard Dog.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  Thick and thin, dude.

• 53:00Speaker 00

  You're gonna have to take on the mutants.

• 53:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:06Matt McCusker?

  Damn, yeah, I mean, definitely 2025 is the year for major moves, so.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  It's time for major moves.

• 53:11Matt McCusker?

  You guys gotta crack a couple skulls, sacrifice some people. You guys should. I don't mean like physically, I mean like.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:17Matt McCusker?

  You guys should be at least two beefs by the end of the year.

• 53:20Speaker 00

  I'm gonna need some beefs.

• 53:21Matt McCusker?

  Public beefs. Or, or, hear me out, spaz on the mothership publicly if you don't get enough spots.

• 53:28Speaker 00

  Oh, have you been publicly spazzing?

• 53:33Matt McCusker?

  You gotta spaz. That's a strong move to be like, this club hates me, they're not fair. Fuck them.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  I have not publicly spazzed. I've independently, I privately spazzed. I've privately spazzed a lot.

• 53:45Matt McCusker?

  I'm not getting enough steeched.

• 53:51Matt McCusker?

  Such a nice move. Like, yo, for real, I think they fucking hate me.

• 53:56Speaker 00

  They hate me over there. You know what the beef, this is the beef, I'm gonna manifest it, Hans Kim versus Nate Marshall.

• 54:01Matt McCusker?

  Ooh.

• 54:03Speaker 00

  I need that beef.

• 54:04Matt McCusker?

  That'd be a good beef.

• 54:05Speaker 00

  It's a good beef.

• 54:06Matt McCusker?

  That's a great beef.

• 54:08Speaker 00

  It's gonna be such an easy one to start.

• 54:11Speaker 00

  Just immediately have Nate be like, I'm not gonna, he didn't say shit, but what if he did?

• 54:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, it'd be fun to get in there.

• 54:19Matt McCusker?

  We gotta, we gotta start, I'm gonna, you know, I'm just taking cues from MAGA, man. We gotta start infighting. It's, if you're not infighting, what are you doing?

• 54:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:28Matt McCusker?

  We gotta pick some point and just start fighting over it, dude.

• 54:32Speaker 00

  Dude, was that the thing that ran again?

• 54:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's your air, bro. Your air's back on.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  No, there's a fucking creature that lives in my house that sprints across the roof, dude. It literally sounds like a man. It sounds like it's two feet. It's just like bum bum bum bum bum. And then it'll stay still for an hour. And then it'll sprint again.

• 54:48Matt McCusker?

  Dude, when you get a raccoon on your roof, it sounds like a grown person. It sounds like a grown man.

• 54:51Speaker 00

  It's either a raccoon or a possum. I've seen a couple possums around this way. I do like the possums. I've seen them crawl across the fence back there. That's very nice.

• 54:58Matt McCusker?

  Possum, dude. We had to tear up our little, we had a little trek stack area that we like tore up and put stone down. And dude, I had to get like, there was possums living under there. There's, there's Mexican dudes were like trying to catch them in the T-shirt. It was so fucking funny. They're fearless, dude.

• 55:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:14Matt McCusker?

  It was possum, it was a mother possum and a baby possum.

• 55:17Speaker 00

  Oh no, you had, you had them executed for your porch?

• 55:19Matt McCusker?

  Hell no, no, no, no. They, they were, they were just, they were sent on an exodus. Cause there was nowhere for them to live.

• 55:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:24Matt McCusker?

  But like, we were, we were like, we ripped it up and it was like, alright, I know there's possums under here. So like, be careful. So we didn't know there was a baby. So like, the mom was just going nuts. We're like, dude, here's the road to freedom. Get out of here. And it wouldn't leave.

• 55:37Speaker 00

  They might have found their way to my roof.

• 55:38Matt McCusker?

  They might, hopefully.

• 55:39Speaker 00

  That was one, there was a dead possum in the front yard when I.

• 55:42Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 55:43Speaker 00

  First moved here. Yeah. And that's when I was like, that's why the house smells like shit. It was probably a dead animal.

• 55:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. They're good for you though. They eat snakes, they eat bugs.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  Did you hear it again or something? Oh.

• 55:54Speaker 00

  No. Did they move it?

• 55:56Speaker 02

  No, something.

• 55:57Speaker 00

  It was what, the smell?

• 55:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:58Speaker 00

  No, it couldn't be a dead animal on the roof. That smells bad for a year.

• 56:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 56:04Matt McCusker?

  Dude, Jackson.

• 56:05Speaker 00

  Fart castle, dude.

• 56:07Matt McCusker?

  Jackson, uh.

• 56:08Speaker 00

  God damn.

• 56:09Matt McCusker?

  Put rat poison, there, there's the possum that we had under our porch, our neighbors can't stand it. Cause like, it just shits and it like chills in our yard and shits in their yard.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:17Matt McCusker?

  I've never even seen possum shit, but apparently it was just shitting in their yard big time. Shit in their yard, hung in our yard.

• 56:22Speaker 00

  That's not.

• 56:23Matt McCusker?

  It was really funny. So they laid out a ton of rat poison for it, trying to get it.

• 56:29Speaker 00

  Who are these people?

• 56:30Matt McCusker?

  There's our neighbors. They're, they just, they don't want to shit in their yard. And I was like, hey man, your yard is your yard.

• 56:34Speaker 00

  A, a dog's gonna eat that immediately.

• 56:36Matt McCusker?

  Well, funny you say that. Jackson.

• 56:38Speaker 00

  Of course, Jackson.

• 56:40Matt McCusker?

  We didn't know it was out there.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  He's gorging on rat poison?

• 56:42Matt McCusker?

  Jackson gorged on rat poison.

• 56:43Speaker 00

  Jesus Christ.

• 56:44Matt McCusker?

  And dude, he lives again. He ate.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  He wants to go.

• 56:48Matt McCusker?

  Quarter pound, no, he just wants to grub.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  He does like to go.

• 56:51Matt McCusker?

  He just wants to grub.

• 56:52Speaker 00

  He seemingly wants a way out.

• 56:54Matt McCusker?

  He just doesn't care, dude. Like.

• 56:55Speaker 00

  How's his legs? How's his surgery?

• 56:57Matt McCusker?

  His legs good.

• 56:58Speaker 00

  It went well?

• 56:58Matt McCusker?

  Finally, the dude has stopped, he stopped limping. But then he just instantly gorged on rat. He ate a bunch of chicken bones. When the dudes who were working on the porch just threw chicken bones everywhere. So he munched them, was like shitting out bones and throwing up. And then like during that crisis, went and just crushed a ton of rat poison.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  A little rat poison on top of the bones.

• 57:17Matt McCusker?

  Crazy. Brittany called me. I was like middle, I was like doing something. She's like, Jackson ate rat poison. I was like, Jesus fuck.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's dead. You would imagine he'd die.

• 57:24Matt McCusker?

  I looked it up. I was like, fuck, alright, let's see here. I looked it up. You have to eat, I think at least five percent of your body weight in rat poison to die. So Jackson, he only had, I was like, how much did he eat? He ate like one puck.

• 57:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:35Matt McCusker?

  Started for the second and got pulled off. But he was throwing up like chicken bones and like lime green rat. It was. Bro is troubled.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  Very funny.

• 57:43Matt McCusker?

  But he's good now. He's cool. He's like better than ever.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  I like, I'm always a fan to hear what he's up to. It's, it's never good.

• 57:50Matt McCusker?

  It's never good, bro. It's never good. He's gotten, he's had three chocolate breakouts. Mushrooms once, low dose.

• 57:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:58Matt McCusker?

  Edible rat poison. He's for real, he's psycho not dude. He's crazy.

• 58:03Speaker 00

  He's done it all.

• 58:03Matt McCusker?

  He has done it, truly has done it all. But dude, he, uh, he's good though. He was throwing up for like literally like a week or so. And I had to switch his food and everything. I gave him, I was giving him chicken and rice for like weeks. So now I give him like, yeah, now I'm feeding him like.

• 58:17Speaker 00

  He's fucking eating better than I do.

• 58:18Matt McCusker?

  He was.

• 58:19Speaker 00

  Chicken and rice, it's fucking good, yeah.

• 58:21Matt McCusker?

  Cause if you have a dog with diarrhea, the rice just like stops him up. Cause he was shitting. He shit like everywhere. The one morning we woke up and there was just like. Puke, puke, shits all in his bed and he like pointed his ass out of the cage.

• 58:40Matt McCusker?

  So we were like going around and dude, nothing sours a wife in the morning, just like dog shitting. I mean, it'll get anybody.

• 58:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, it would fire me up a little.

• 58:46Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, it's, it's rough, man.

• 58:48Speaker 00

  And that's, that's when it's, that's your dog.

• 58:50Matt McCusker?

  No, oh dude.

• 58:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:52Matt McCusker?

  He couldn't be more mine during that time.

• 58:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:54Matt McCusker?

  Granted, it was both of our idea, but when he shits everywhere, it's mine. But the, uh. Dude, he, and actually to her credit, she handled the shit mornings really well. Cause it was the most shit he'd ever done. And it was everywhere. It was so much. Bro, there was so many spots. We like just set up our Christmas. It was, it was whatever. But he, uh. Yeah, it was handled, it was handled pretty well. And then the, so like that happened, we're like cleaning it up and my kids are watching me and they're like, what are you? And I'm explaining to them what's going on. The one night we went out to see Moana two and me, Brittany, mine, Chloe. Chloe, I didn't know, you know, we're in the dark. So like we have like all, everyone has all their stuff. She was hitting french fries off Brittany's plate, hitting french fries off my plate. No, she was working both of us. We didn't know that she hit both plates so hard.

• 59:38Matt McCusker?

  She, she ate so many french fries that that morning I go in her room. She's just like, she's just crying like five in the morning. I'm like, what's up? And she's like, I did a yucky thing. And I was like, what are you talking about? And she's like, like I did like Jackson did on the carpet. And I was, she just threw up.

• 59:50Speaker 00

  Oh, I thought she stuck her ass out of diarrhea.

• 59:55Matt McCusker?

  But she just threw up all over the floor. And she does, if you leave her by herself, she'll start trying to wipe her own ass and she just smears it. It's the fucking worst. We had to convince her. So we have to get, Brittany was like, cause I was like going in, I'm like, don't wipe yourself. And then she's like, I have a boo boo on my ginny. And I was like, what? And she's like, Brittany's like, I told her she has a boo boo on her vagina, so she won't try to wipe herself.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 1:00:17Matt McCusker?

  Probably not good for long term to be like, your vagina has a wound.

• 1:00:20Speaker 00

  Something's wrong with your vagina. Yeah, that would, that might affect long term.

• 1:00:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, I was, I've been telling, I'm, I'm like,

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  But it might be even weirder if you're like, no, honey, your vagina is great.

• 1:00:33Matt McCusker?

  I think you, you couldn't go wrong being like, it's great. Women, women have a massive insecurity about like, what's up with it? How is it? Is it good?

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  Same.

• 1:00:45Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:00:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. You know?

• 1:00:48Matt McCusker?

  I always try to tell my wife, I said, babe, you got nothing to worry about.

• 1:00:53Matt McCusker?

  Let me gobble that fucking thing.

• 1:00:54Speaker 00

  Trying to get in there and snack a little.

• 1:00:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've been sweating. I'm like, bruh.

• 1:00:57Speaker 00

  Give me the sweat.

• 1:00:58Matt McCusker?

  Bruh.

• 1:00:59Speaker 00

  Let me eat it.

• 1:01:04Speaker 00

  All right, all right.

• 1:01:04Matt McCusker?

  Sorry, sorry, sorry. But we're just talking about, you know. But yeah, that's, you know, so yeah, it's, it is one of those things where it's like, dude, when I drop her off, to do like her, like her daycare and it's like, we have to like give her pretzels in order for her to go in. And I'm like, man, this is definitely set up some neural pathways that aren't great. You'd be like, oh, you're feeling overwhelmed? Eat some pretzels, you'll be fine. Just munch pretzels. But yeah, she's, she's pumped right now. She's on, she's like on this new thing where she's Ariel's mom from Little Mermaid. Came up with it out of nowhere. And, uh, yeah, she's been hitting me with that every morning.

• 1:01:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, what she said, weren't you just?

• 1:01:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, I fucking, yeah, we, she woke me up yesterday, fucking, well, Maya woke me up at five in the morning and Chloe, it's six. I just never went back to sleep. Chloe woke up, has to pee, take her to the bathroom. She goes, I don't have to pee. And I'm like, you motherfucker. And then I'm like, all right, come to bed with me. No talking, go to sleep. She's like, yeah, for sure. Lays down next to me, dude, you get like two seconds of silence and you're just like, you know, something's coming. And out of nowhere, she's like, yeah, I'm Ariel's mom. And I'm like, dude, shut up and go to bed. Stop. And then like she'll just, and then like you'll squash that and you'll feel just a hand just be like whap right in your eye. He's like in the dark. I'm like, ow, fuck. And she's like, ah, I'm like, dude, let's get downstairs. I'm done. We're not gonna try to fall asleep.

• 1:02:17Matt McCusker?

  It is, that was been like bugging me out lately with like, cause it really is. People like, you know, having kids, like it's the best thing in the world and like, it is, it's very, it's like uncomparable to anything else. But then you break down like what you're actually doing. It's like insane. It's like, dude, like literally like I've gotten shit on a couple of times.

• 1:02:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:35Matt McCusker?

  Peeed on. I mean, dude, I had like pee'd on underwear. It's like when Chloe pees in the toilet, she likes to like really see what she's doing. But then she'll arch her back so when the pee shoots out.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  Take a look at what was going on.

• 1:02:45Matt McCusker?

  I've done this to myself as an adult. When you like poop and you pee through the toilet and so it hit the back of your pants, done it.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:51Matt McCusker?

  She did it. We were out doing like so- something and she peed all over her fucking pants. Luckily it hit her, just her underwear. So I was like, fuck, I didn't have a change of clothes.

• 1:02:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:00Matt McCusker?

  So I just took her like pee underwear and it's like, put it in my pocket.

• 1:03:03Speaker 00

  Oh no.

• 1:03:04Matt McCusker?

  I forgot they were in there. So my whole point is you're doing all this shit. I have like pee underwear in my pocket. I'm being shit on. And it, and it's like, when you break it down by the tasks, by like task by task, you're like, how is this the best thing in the world? And really it's just the power of love.

• 1:03:18Speaker 00

  It is a powerful.

• 1:03:18Matt McCusker?

  And my whole point is if love is truly that powerful, what are we dealing with our lives? Truly such a powerful force. The best thing in the world is literally the most servile and disgusting tasks and just zero free time. Makes you think, dude.

• 1:03:31Speaker 00

  It does.

• 1:03:31Matt McCusker?

  It truly makes you think. But it also having free time fucking rules so bad.

• 1:03:35Speaker 00

  Free time, I, yeah.

• 1:03:37Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy, dude.

• 1:03:38Speaker 00

  Free time's pretty sick. Although too much free time.

• 1:03:41Matt McCusker?

  Realize how sick it is until it gets taken away from you.

• 1:03:43Speaker 00

  Too much free time though. I just had too much free time. Yeah. Once we finished filming tires and then I was just in Westchester. Nothing to do.

• 1:03:52Matt McCusker?

  That is true. People don't understand that, man.

• 1:03:54Speaker 00

  That sucks. That like drives you crazy.

• 1:03:56Matt McCusker?

  The pinging silence of like hours upon hours of personal free time is kind of fucked up.

• 1:04:01Speaker 00

  An empty house, silent, and then they're like, I'll just go across the street and walk along the creek.

• 1:04:06Matt McCusker?

  That's chill.

• 1:04:07Speaker 00

  It was nice.

• 1:04:08Matt McCusker?

  That's chill, but.

• 1:04:08Speaker 00

  It was also dead silent out there. You walk back in your house. It's a giant, silent, old fucking house from the seventeen hundreds. I'm just standing in there like, fuck. I gotta do stand up.

• 1:04:20Matt McCusker?

  That gets so disorienting. We're like, what am I gonna do?

• 1:04:23Speaker 00

  The sun goes down at fucking two P M.

• 1:04:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:25Speaker 00

  I'm just standing there in the dark. A haunted house. The house makes noises. I'm scared now. And it's dark for ten straight hours. It's dark to, I'm awake. The whole time it's dark. It's scary. I'm scared for hours.

• 1:04:39Matt McCusker?

  And it was remote, too.

• 1:04:41Speaker 00

  It was very remote and I was very scared.

• 1:04:43Matt McCusker?

  And there's like, and I remember I was out there one night.

• 1:04:45Speaker 00

  Bro, I'd go outside. I'd piss outside a lot.

• 1:04:47Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome.

• 1:04:47Speaker 00

  It was very nice. The stars were out. It was very nice. But there was always a fox screaming.

• 1:04:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  And then it would get closer and scream closer. You gotta fucking hurry your piss up, run inside, cause I'm not sure it's a fox.

• 1:04:58Matt McCusker?

  We have a coyote. We have a coyote near us. You'll hear it start yelping. You're like, and the same thing. We're outside. I have my little makeshift fire pit in my, in the lot that pray to God they never build a house there. They're definitely going to though. But dude, I've taken it over.

• 1:05:12Speaker 00

  You took over a lot and put a fire pit in?

• 1:05:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I just put like, I had like stone left over from when we did that little like patio area. So I just like set up.

• 1:05:18Speaker 00

  Built on?

• 1:05:20Matt McCusker?

  It's just a lot behind my house and it's like.

• 1:05:21Speaker 00

  You're squatting. You're settling.

• 1:05:22Matt McCusker?

  Technically, I could do an easement. Yeah, I could be like, hey, man, look. I told, I was so Brittany, I was gonna chain myself down to my fire pit.

• 1:05:31Matt McCusker?

  Or I might go try to find old bones from a museum, steal them and just bury them in there and be like, you're the fuck.

• 1:05:37Speaker 00

  You can't touch this land.

• 1:05:38Matt McCusker?

  We can't build anything on here. But I've, I've been, dude, I burnt my Christmas tree. Do you know how flammable those things are?

• 1:05:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:45Matt McCusker?

  But like, I'm sure, I guess that's common knowledge. They like burn houses down. Dude, I, I was, you know, I had like my little wood. I had it going on. I'm like, let me just throw like a branch and some needles. You would have thought I'd put gasoline on the fire. So then I had chopped it up into three parts and I'm putting branches.

• 1:05:59Speaker 00

  That's how you got rid of your Christmas tree?

• 1:06:00Matt McCusker?

  Yes, burned it. It was so fucking sick, dude. I put one, like, I say a third of a Christmas tree on a fire. It got, I'm not lying, maybe. Twelve feet up, the flame was twelve, the flame was so bright that the streetlights turned off.

• 1:06:15Speaker 00

  Jesus.

• 1:06:16Matt McCusker?

  The flame, the photo sensors tripped, not, they just kicked on and it was like, oh, it's daytime.

• 1:06:21Speaker 00

  You were going nuts.

• 1:06:22Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I showed you the flame?

• 1:06:23Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:06:24Matt McCusker?

  Oh, bro, the flame is so fucking nasty.

• 1:06:26Speaker 00

  I was doing crazy. I had a couple fires. I had some fires going.

• 1:06:30Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I, I'm telling you.

• 1:06:31Speaker 00

  I spent most of my time standing outside looking for drones. That was a fun nighttime task. I would go, ooh, there's no clouds tonight. I'm gonna go try to find drones.

• 1:06:40Matt McCusker?

  If you got a sighting, that'd have been that.

• 1:06:41Speaker 00

  I wish, I saw several planes that I stood there for ten minutes watching.

• 1:06:45Matt McCusker?

  Just be like.

• 1:06:46Speaker 00

  It could be, it doesn't seem to be.

• 1:06:48Matt McCusker?

  Could that possibly be a UAP? God damn it, I've seen many fucking pictures. Here we go. Dude, that's me, dude. Maya takes fucking videos of me. That's me on the Peloton.

• 1:07:03Matt McCusker?

  Dude, the, uh, sorry, I gotta find these flames. Excuse my fucking.

• 1:07:06Speaker 00

  No, find the flames.

• 1:07:08Matt McCusker?

  Dude, the flames, you're gonna, for real, you're gonna get a little taken aback and go, dude, oh, bro. That was a blaze.

• 1:07:14Speaker 00

  What are you doing?

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  What are you doing?

• 1:07:17Matt McCusker?

  That's a third of a Christmas tree. Next year, I'm lighting the whole thing up.

• 1:07:24Speaker 00

  Is that, are your neighbors out or is this just you and your family?

• 1:07:27Matt McCusker?

  Just me and the family, just me and the family.

• 1:07:28Speaker 00

  If I, if I, your family, yeah.

• 1:07:30Matt McCusker?

  Dude.

• 1:07:31Speaker 00

  The neighbors must be like, what the fuck's this guy?

• 1:07:32Matt McCusker?

  So our neighbors aren't there a lot. They split time between like two different cities and they, they've gotten fire alerts. They have like a security camera.

• 1:07:39Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 1:07:40Matt McCusker?

  That was like, is there a fire nearby? Cause their phone got pinged like, we detected fire.

• 1:07:45Matt McCusker?

  But then the house next to me, this boggles my mind. They bought the place. And nobody's lived in there for a year, a year and some change.

• 1:07:53Speaker 00

  Built some stuff in there. You should just expand throughout your neighborhood.

• 1:07:56Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm trying to say, dude.

• 1:07:57Speaker 00

  Start setting up chill spots.

• 1:07:59Matt McCusker?

  My thing is who, who fucking buys a house and doesn't use it? Like, like, there's no renters?

• 1:08:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Matt McCusker?

  Then the one next to us, same thing, but they just started throwing Airbnb people in there. And it's, uh, which is kinda sick cause I get to like.

• 1:08:11Speaker 00

  It's probably the Chinese.

• 1:08:12Matt McCusker?

  I, dude, I, I, yeah.

• 1:08:13Speaker 00

  They're buying up land.

• 1:08:14Matt McCusker?

  But I feel like I've met, I think it was a couple Indians actually. So I met the Indians who did it. And I'm like, you know, I was kinda stoked. I've always, I've never had Indian neighbors. So I was like, fuck yeah. They left me high and dry, bro.

• 1:08:25Speaker 00

  My sister's running into a big problem with Indian neighbors. I went there, I was by there for Christmas, no lights. Oh, her whole neighborhood, her whole neighborhood's Indian people.

• 1:08:35Matt McCusker?

  Bruh, that would kinda chat my ass. It's like, bro, come on.

• 1:08:38Speaker 00

  It's a little rough.

• 1:08:39Matt McCusker?

  Toss up, light up some fucking Vichy, dude.

• 1:08:41Speaker 00

  Nobody's cutting the grass. She's wild. Everyone's holding hands, walking outside.

• 1:08:46Matt McCusker?

  Or they hold hands, or the boss Indian dudes let their wife, wives walk like five feet ahead of them. That's the move, where it's an Indian lady and then the husband's five feet behind her, hands behind his back.

• 1:08:57Speaker 00

  They did get that right.

• 1:08:58Matt McCusker?

  That's nice.

• 1:08:59Speaker 00

  Going on a walk with your lady blows.

• 1:09:01Matt McCusker?

  Stagger it.

• 1:09:02Speaker 00

  Try to hold hands or something. It's like, I'm walking. Hey, I'm walking here.

• 1:09:05Matt McCusker?

  What is it, three-legged race?

• 1:09:06Speaker 00

  And then you get like a narrow part of the path and you slow down to let her go first, then she slows, instinctively stops.

• 1:09:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:12Speaker 00

  You go, no.

• 1:09:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 1:09:14Speaker 00

  This is a single file part of the path.

• 1:09:16Matt McCusker?

  It's, dude, I, we have some nice like little walking areas and we've done, we like, we've done the walks and it's a... The only thing that could be nice, if you do like a super long grueling walk, cause there's nothing better than being like, are you tired?

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  That is nice.

• 1:09:29Matt McCusker?

  That can be nice.

• 1:09:29Speaker 00

  I hit, I hit, yeah. Hit my lady with one of those recently. It's like, god damn, I've been sitting around. How the fuck am I the one that's not tired at all?

• 1:09:37Matt McCusker?

  I got crushed the other day, cause we both, when we, when I found out I was prediabetic on the blood test. Fucking bullshit, dude. My A1C will be lower, but it'll be down.

• 1:09:46Speaker 00

  I'm sure it is already.

• 1:09:47Matt McCusker?

  I, if it's not, I'm gonna die. Cause like, I've literally cut out like ninety percent of carbohydrates. But there was a, there was when we like first had ki, we had two, when we first had two kids, we'd had this double stroller in Philly. We'd push it up hills and Brittany would get like, frill, like winded.

• 1:10:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:10:02Matt McCusker?

  And then she'd always be like, I gotta go to the doctor, there's something going on. I'm like, yeah, dude, you're fucking out of shape. And like...

• 1:10:09Matt McCusker?

  She's still salty about that comment, but the, uh, and then like she got some blood tests where like, they really did reveal some sort of like irregularity about like, I don't know what it was. But she was just like, you fucking asshole, I told you there was something. And they were saying like, the side effect could be like getting winded easily. And I was like, damn, that's my bad. Instantly called out the, I'm like, you're faking it.

• 1:10:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:10:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she crushed, she danced in the end zone on me on that. She's like, you're such a jerk, especially like, you don't realize how things sound until like, she's telling other couples or people.

• 1:10:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, what she said.

• 1:10:42Matt McCusker?

  And you're like, well, hold on, let's put the context in there. This asshole just said, yeah, it's cause you're out of shape. And I was like, well, I was concerned for you.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 1:10:54Matt McCusker?

  Yes, sirree, motherfucking bar.

• 1:10:55Speaker 00

  Let's switch over to the Patreon.

• 1:10:57Matt McCusker?

  Let's motherfucking go.

• 1:10:58Speaker 00

  We'll see you on the Patreon, good friends.

• 1:11:02Matt McCusker?

  (laughing)