Ep 625 - The Big Show (feat. Billy & Spud)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Get Billy n Spudz new merch now @ ⁠https://warmode.org/⁠ Support them @ https://www.patreon.com/WARMODE Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Mornin'. Big day. We're back home. Nuff said. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd be like shaking if I was one of you guys.

• 0:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Like visibly, I'd be like.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  Don't show up. If I think about it.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  I like wake up and shake.

• 0:10Speaker 00

  Don't show up. I honestly, I just texted Matt and I sent him the picture and I was like, we should not do this.

• 0:16Speaker 00

  We should leave the country. I'd like to leave the country. Yeah, I would go to like.

• 0:20Matt McCusker?

  Plea to Sarah.

• 0:20Speaker 00

  Paraguay or something like that.

• 0:21Matt McCusker?

  Do temporary insanity.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  I could leave. I don't understand how to do. I could take some of those Guineas and fucking. Damn Spud, what's wrong with you, bro? Monster pull. You know, I'm struggling.

• 0:30Matt McCusker?

  Dude, Conor McGregor, dude, go out there, build it up and walk out and be like.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Tear my ACL.

• 0:34Matt McCusker?

  Fuck my leg, shit.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  Bring someone else out. When's this gonna come out?

• 0:38Matt McCusker?

  Whenever.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  I think our.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Ah, probably after, yeah.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Tomorrow. Tomorrow? Yeah.

• 0:42Matt McCusker?

  We can wait till, I don't give a.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Do it pre, pre show?

• 0:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, well then, we won't talk about all the special guests, but Matthew will be on it.

• 0:49Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  And it's terrifying. Oh, yeah, we've already. Yeah. Alluded, we've alluded to it on the pod. So.

• 0:56Matt McCusker?

  Are we fired up?

• 0:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're recording. It's the scariest thing possible. This was a huge mistake. I got talked into this a year and a half ago and never really considered that one day it was gonna actually happen.

• 1:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09Speaker 00

  And it's tomorrow and, uh, I'm completely ill-prepared. I have, I can't even think about doing stand-up. I'm thinking about the show itself.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  How much stand-up do you actually have to do?

• 1:19Speaker 00

  I'm gonna do, I don't have to do anything. I would, I.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  What's the plan?

• 1:24Speaker 00

  For the show, I should probably do like a fucking half hour and then I'm gonna bring someone else.

• 1:28Matt McCusker?

  Or just curate.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  On stage with me. Just walk around and be like, ha, ha, ha, another fine act.

• 1:33Matt McCusker?

  Start a circus.

• 1:34Speaker 00

  I'm actually running for mayor.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  Well, I've got you all gathered here. There's something I'd like to discuss.

• 1:43Matt McCusker?

  Have four giant sponsor camps.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  You gotta do those Luke Balmar talks. AI's taking over everything. That's it. Everything, all of your jobs.

• 1:54Matt McCusker?

  Welcome by Frost Bill, welcome Spud.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  You're making me more popular.

• 1:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  Too magic.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  I'll do fuck it. I'm gonna panic.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  I would throw up.

• 2:03Speaker 00

  I'm gonna get on stage and be like, the only thing I've got so far is I'm gonna say a boom boom boom. Everybody say wow.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  That'll be nice.

• 2:10Matt McCusker?

  That'll be actually.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  You start a wave, that'd be sick.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  We got that going. You got the wave and boom boom boom.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  You should bring a beach ball out. Getting beach balls going would be fucking sick. Almost like recreating Woodstock.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Dude, this crowd's gonna be, they're gonna be tailgating.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  All day.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  It's gonna be horrendous.

• 2:26Speaker 00

  It's gonna be the worst crowd.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  It's gonna look like Normandy.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  It's gonna be crazy.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  My whole plan is just, I'm gonna have a separate video, I'm gonna have my own video crew and I'm gonna try to crush hecklers the whole time. Yo, shut the fuck up dude, I'm doing the fucking show. Dude, I'm fucking eating. I'm doing the fucking show.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Are you in the round?

• 2:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  It's better.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  I saw a clip, I saw, um, I was checking out like different seats in the link, what it looks like. WrestleMania was in the round. Whoa, that's like the WrestleMania, yeah.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  You could wrestle too.

• 2:56Speaker 00

  I'll wrestle.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  You should do it all.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  Look, look at the folding chairs.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, they don't look comfortable, yeah.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  Also, the people that are in the middle of these folding chairs.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  That's the pit.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  You're never gonna be able to piss.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:07Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Pass outs.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Those seats were fucking expensive.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Cook's is there.

• 3:10Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Cook's is right up, I showed you that.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a nice spot.

• 3:13Matt McCusker?

  The pass outs.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Is that a porta potty setup?

• 3:16Speaker 03

  I think they do have little porta potties and shit like that.

• 3:19Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's gonna be a piss on the ground setup. There's gonna be a lot of drunk guys.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  There was a concert here, something.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  Dude, this is gonna be a fucking riot.

• 3:25Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be a Roman city.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  There was a concert here in Philly, in some, some like country kinda dude, and some chick just shit.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  What?

• 3:34Speaker 01

  She didn't wanna leave her seat. But it was a big, it was like a biohazard.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  But no.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  She tried to let it out of her pants.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Yo, out of her cut off jeans. Ever see people on like CCTV shake out a log?

• 3:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  That's crazy. I don't know how that works. It would be like all down my leg.

• 3:49Speaker 00

  Dude, not even shaking out a log. There's that, one of that like Asian guy at the registry, just pulls his pants down and just.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  He's diarrhea. And then pulls his pants back up.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  You have to be so certain, there's no wiping involved.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  There was a dude that used to hit that at the park when I was walking my dog, and he had this hoodie and one day he left the hoodie and I picked it up and I still have the hoodie. It's a good ass hoodie.

• 4:09Matt McCusker?

  When he would shit outside.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Dude, he hit like fucking.

• 4:11Matt McCusker?

  Hurt people, hurt people.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Well, what shit's in the hedges? And I was.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Trying to keep Zeus from eating it. Cause they do, dogs love human poop.

• 4:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  They love to eat it, bro.

• 4:22Matt McCusker?

  I can see that.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Especially bum shit.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  You have his hoodie?

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, it says blazer soccer. It's real thick. You ever get like a real thick hoodie?

• 4:28Speaker 03

  It isn't very. I saw the hoodie. I was like, that's a heavy cotton blend. I like that.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  They don't make this shit anymore.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  The guy's launching into the fucking hedges.

• 4:38Matt McCusker?

  He left his sweatshirt and snagged it.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  He would eat so much. You'd go to the hedges and like, if he was in there for too long, be like, what are you doing? Come out. The smell of human shit on a dog's breath, bro.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  And then Spade had the single cab truck, so there's no air going anywhere.

• 4:51Matt McCusker?

  Also, to be fair, he would of all people respect finders keepers.

• 4:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  Obviously.

• 4:55Matt McCusker?

  I'm almost positive he found that sweatshirt.

• 4:58Speaker 00

  He lives exclusively.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  He was a red haired, he was a red haired homeless man.

• 5:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  Yo. That's rare. It's a rare one.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  It's like a time traveler.

• 5:08Matt McCusker?

  Truly rejected.

• 5:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's a nerve wracking endeavor. You got yourself there.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Spade's driver was like.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  I mean, you both you guys are fucked. What are you talking about?

• 5:18Speaker 00

  This is like we're on acid again. We're like, man, I can't believe how high you are. Dude, you're so high.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  This is the first time we've all been together since then? As a unit?

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 5:29Matt McCusker?

  Possibly.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Chicago, take me back.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Chicago is so. Heck of a city, awesome city.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  Every time people.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a beautiful city.

• 5:37Speaker 00

  Dude, you're drenched in sweat. Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to join the conversation.

• 5:44Matt McCusker?

  Every time I even think about Oasis, people like that, I saw my concert, I'm like, dude, their concerts are the best. I swear to her, it was amazing.

• 5:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, seeing you let loose like that brought me so much joy.

• 5:54Matt McCusker?

  I was gone.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  Holding the bottle of tequila, shirt over your ass, dude.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Bro, I had no idea.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  That tequila is so expensive.

• 6:03Matt McCusker?

  I got like so attached. I was like, I have to give this bottle out and I was like giving it to people and they were sure. They thought it was laced with acid. They were like, whoa, whoa, because I'd be like, drink it, dude, just drink it. They're like, what's it? I'm like, it's just tequila. Watch and I would just chug a bunch out of it.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  We could have been, we could have been fine with that half a tab.

• 6:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Greed.

• 6:21Matt McCusker?

  That was.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  I looked.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  I mean, tales all the time.

• 6:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  People gobble psychedelics.

• 6:28Matt McCusker?

  Acid especially as you go.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  This rules.

• 6:30Matt McCusker?

  I've, I've literally, I just got done banishing all of the negative, negative thoughts from my head. I was like, I don't need these anymore.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  I've never been able to do that.

• 6:37Matt McCusker?

  I, dude, I, I, I was like sitting there and I was like, I don't need these right now. And I had to let go. That's why I was dancing.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  On his Gmail inbox. I was like, what the fuck?

• 6:47Matt McCusker?

  I was writing myself emails.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  That's Sigma grindset.

• 6:50Matt McCusker?

  I was saying, dude, dude, I'll take it. I'll take it, you know?

• 6:52Speaker 00

  Email yourself while you're on acid in Oasis.

• 6:57Matt McCusker?

  I forget.

• 6:57Speaker 00

  And then get, dude.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Back down in the multiverse.

• 7:00Matt McCusker?

  Fucking coffee. I told you. That was a caffeine.

• 7:06Matt McCusker?

  It was a caffeine.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  You got Restaurant Depot espressos. That shit was strong, dude.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Acid deletes alcohol.

• 7:11Matt McCusker?

  It does.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  And so powerful.

• 7:13Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy. I was, that tequila couldn't touch me.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  It was one of the best nights of my life.

• 7:18Matt McCusker?

  It was. It just kept kicking in though. I was like.

• 7:20Speaker 00

  Take it back. But we do have beach strip.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  I know.

• 7:24Matt McCusker?

  Beach strip will be decent. I'm excited.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  That's my final hurrah and then I'll be in a different house. That's my final vacation.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  Really?

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:32Speaker 00

  True. And then you're gonna get your new house?

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Yes, literally right afterwards.

• 7:36Speaker 00

  I doubt it.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  You're getting off Girlfriend Island.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  Swear to God.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  This is the first time.

• 7:40Matt McCusker?

  Let's go in a girlfriendistan.

• 7:46Matt McCusker?

  A wife-istan.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  Wife-real.

• 7:48Matt McCusker?

  I just read a really nice book. I'm, I'm obsessed with the French right now. I've been reading a lot of French authors. This guy wrote a book about if the, like if Muslims actually took over France. It was like a novel.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Camp of Saints?

• 7:59Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Camp of Saints?

• 8:00Matt McCusker?

  No, it's called Submission by Michael Holmberg. Dude, it's, I don't know why, but he keeps referencing Nietzsche, but he, anytime he references Nietzsche, he goes, the old queer Nietzsche. He's calling Nietzsche a fag.

• 8:14Matt McCusker?

  Just so funny. Just be out for no reason. Just be like, and then that, maybe that old fag was right about Christianity.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  Reminds me of, uh, when you said Buddha judge. You ever see that Trump trying not to call him gay?

• 8:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  When he's like, and Mayor Pete who. Rides a bike with a guy.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  Which is, I don't, that's what he likes. That's why he rides bikes with other guys.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  I want to get a soundboard for Trump. When it's all over.

• 8:40Matt McCusker?

  When it's all said and done.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  It's all said and done. It's gonna be the best soundboard ever.

• 8:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, his pull string dial would be pretty nice.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  I doubled the size of it, you stupid person.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Quiet Piggy.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  Quiet Piggy.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  It's like top of the line.

• 8:55Matt McCusker?

  I mean, if he gets a statue, yeah, what would, what would his like four score in several years?

• 9:00Speaker 01

  I don't like to bring up people's weight. I could lose a few.

• 9:04Matt McCusker?

  Four score in several years.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Stand back and stand by.

• 9:07Matt McCusker?

  Stand back and stand by.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Or, or you'd be in jail.

• 9:09Matt McCusker?

  No, stand down, stand by.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Stand back.

• 9:11Matt McCusker?

  You'd be in jail. Quiet Piggy might be.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Quiet Piggy wasn't as epic. He's completely lost his fastball, dude. The fucking real shit was the.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  You keep saying that Quiet Piggy was 105. Down the fucking pipe, dude.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Quiet Piggy's the number one. And double the size of him is up there, too.

• 9:28Speaker 00

  Dumb or stupid person?

• 9:29Speaker 01

  I can't remember.

• 9:30Matt McCusker?

  Stupid person.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  2016, he was fucking on fire.

• 9:33Matt McCusker?

  Of course.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's on fire.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  He's one that got the Cy Young that year.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  He's throwing some wild pitches. Like, Democrats is a wild pitch.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Yo, I saw you on the All-Star, or on the.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:46Speaker 00

  It was awesome.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  That was a bummer.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  HR day.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  I wanted, I wanted sure bombs, dude.

• 9:51Speaker 00

  Who won?

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Uh, Crawford, this kid from, uh.

• 9:54Matt McCusker?

  Dang.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  I couldn't imagine anything better. Maybe like an extreme fireworks show, but home run derby.

• 9:59Speaker 00

  Home run derby.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was watching. I was like, I want to take my kid to this one day. Get like a 10 year old at a fucking home run derby.

• 10:06Matt McCusker?

  Is it pitching machine?

• 10:07Speaker 01

  No, it's a guy. It's like you got your guy.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  You pick your own guy.

• 10:10Matt McCusker?

  He's gonna, he's gonna send it to you. Okay.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  And sometimes they fucking don't give the best pitches, dude. It was fucking killing me.

• 10:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I didn't even think about that.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Whatever, man. I'd be like.

• 10:19Matt McCusker?

  He's like your spot, he's like the guy at the dunk contest throwing the hoops.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Dude, it just makes you, it makes you realize how easy home runs is for you.

• 10:25Speaker 00

  You ever seen when Diddy, uh, got on his toes? He, he, and the guy jumped over and you see Diddy's. Gets on his tippy.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  He's gonna be out.

• 10:35Matt McCusker?

  He's gonna be out, yeah. He's gonna be out. People are gonna have to answer.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  Spot, it reminded me of when you and me were at the World Series.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  Yes, that rule.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  And there's putting the flag the size of the outfield with a flyover and just being like, we're the greatest. It was the exact same. Like, that was the most American. It's like, we were drinking beer, watching guys hit home runs over and over again while they're blasting music. And we're like booing the kids. If a kid drops a ball, because there's little kids in the outfield, the whole stadium's like.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  You don't see this in other countries. You don't see this.

• 11:05Speaker 00

  It was wonderful.

• 11:05Matt McCusker?

  Ah, Spade at the Grove, I thought he was gonna have a fucking heart attack.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  The Grove is unreal.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  That was mad on ass. That was mad as him at the Grove going.

• 11:12Matt McCusker?

  You would have thought Spade was on six grams of mushrooms. He literally got overtaken by the spirit of fucking dirt car rally car.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  It's the vibration, I think. If I had to nail it down to one thing, it's the sound and the vibration. Dude, that's not world.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Spot.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  That's on the world.

• 11:24Matt McCusker?

  It's loud, I think.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  Please imagine every summer night.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  I mean, you're blessed.

• 11:29Speaker 00

  Sit on the, I would open my window as a kid and listen to, you could hear the Grove, dude.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Dude, stop.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  It would show. Phil, Phil will call me now and be like, what's going on? I'll be like, nothing.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Dude, you gotta make a fucking, you gotta.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  Listening to the Grove.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  Take some of your money. Take some of your money and make a movie about that.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  The Grove?

• 11:43Speaker 01

  He's so sick, dude.

• 11:44Matt McCusker?

  Grove would be nice.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  The Grove is nice.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Like a comedy.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  That's what I actually, I did want to do that. But I talked about that. People tell me not to.

• 11:51Matt McCusker?

  Why? Do the Grove?

• 11:52Speaker 00

  I wanted to do like a driver.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Like a little boy being like hearing it and then somehow making that a movie? That's sick.

• 11:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's kind of like Ricky Bobby, but we can do it.

• 12:00Matt McCusker?

  Bobby Ricky?

• 12:01Speaker 00

  Yeah. It has nothing to do with that. I swear to God, we're not copying it. But yes, the character's name is Bobby Ricky.

• 12:10Matt McCusker?

  Or dude, just be like, dude, let's fucking do a sequel. Part two, not do part two. And he, he say Ricky Bobby maybe says the wrong thing and he goes to the dirt track.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  And then wins and becomes my favorite NASCAR driver.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  That's nothing to do with NASCAR though, right? Like that's not even like-

• 12:26Speaker 00

  I mean, some of the drivers are.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Some of the drivers, they'll graduate from that to NASCAR?

• 12:30Matt McCusker?

  I would imagine.

• 12:31Speaker 00

  A little, yeah, for sure, but they also like come back down and do that.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  I painted for a dude that like built cars for his kid. He was like a mechanic and he built like little Indy cars. Dude, it's mega bucks.

• 12:40Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  To like go take your kid on one of those Indy tours.

• 12:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. I, I knew, uh, I knew someone who used to do like dirt track racing. He was in high school and that was like, it was like his thing he was into.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Like the ones with the fans?

• 12:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 12:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah. Wait, what do you mean?

• 12:54Speaker 00

  Like the ones that-

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:55Matt McCusker?

  Oh, on the, on the, yeah, yeah. But the, I remember that's he'd even go to the dirt track and it was like his thing.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:01Matt McCusker?

  He had a rich daddy. His daddy would buy his, get the trailer with the cars and he would just go race people.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  It's like an upgrade from hockey.

• 13:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  Dirt bike, dirt bike kids used to get a lot of pussy back in the day. I remember kids were like, go dirt bike racing on the weekends. They would always somehow-

• 13:13Speaker 00

  See with the cool fox, long sleeves.

• 13:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, frosted, frosted tips.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Fucking wear that.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  I like how black dudes adopted that. They also wear like motocross shit.

• 13:21Speaker 00

  At NASCAR, they love it. They love our drip, dude.

• 13:24Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 13:24Speaker 00

  They love the Eminem yellow jacket.

• 13:26Matt McCusker?

  I'm, I'm more into the, the high, high black fashion, like Playboy, Cardi, Playboy, Cardi. NBA Youngboy, you just wear like black leather. You wear like black leather and just kind of like sit and look like a vampire now. It's kind of sick. They vamp out hard. Playboy, I saw a video of him.

• 13:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it is. It's like, but it's like leather. You get some leather going.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  You know, a little bit of swag.

• 13:46Matt McCusker?

  It's like Rick Owens. Who's the guy, Rick Owens? I sent you like forty videos. Rick Owens?

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:50Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's the fucking coolest shit in the world.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Ever see him get scared by the flash?

• 13:54Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  It's hilarious. He gets flashed. He's like ninety million years old and some fucking photographer, like, remember when they hit you at helium?

• 14:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Dude, that shit like, it's almost like a flashback in Todd and he like almost fell over on granite steps and like regained his fucking balance and kept walking.

• 14:09Speaker 00

  It got me on Monday when I was checking into the hotel. Insane photo. It's the worst.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Who's released?

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Why do they do this?

• 14:14Speaker 00

  They go, hey Shane, and you, you literally, you're like-

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Blake, break it down.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  Just take it, I have a bookbag, I'm hunched over.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Is that like a couple hundred bucks for somebody? Like, why are they doing this?

• 14:23Matt McCusker?

  You should start being like, stop!

• 14:26Speaker 00

  They love it. That'd be the best photo.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Viral reels every time you're in Canada.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  That would make it way worse.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  You just gotta start getting out of cars with your balls hanging out on top of your little parasol.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  I literally might have.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  His balls are out.

• 14:40Matt McCusker?

  To Lindsay Lohan. Just somehow show your butthole every time. Get out butt first with your butthole.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  You got your taint in the picture. Bro. Legendary. I'd hang that up.

• 14:51Speaker 00

  With like this, like trying to shield your face.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was watching, I was watching some, uh, I was watching that body cam footage with a guy's like, take a picture of my dick, please. Raise my balls up. Don't be scared.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  Don't be afraid.

• 15:03Speaker 00

  Yes. It's one.

• 15:06Speaker 04

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• 16:06Matt McCusker?

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• 16:26Matt McCusker?

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• 16:45Speaker 00

  Incredible.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Don't be afraid.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  I lose a lot of my hours to body cam, dude. Ever since you said Midwest safety.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Look at what the Lord gave me.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  I started crushing that.

• 16:53Matt McCusker?

  I lost, yeah. It was like a month on flights, just watching, uh, yeah.

• 16:58Speaker 00

  The one, uh, me and Blazer have been dying watching this guy. I might've talked about last time, there's a guy, he's a white supremacist, cop pulls him over. He's like, yeah, my ID's, my ID's in my bag. He just takes a gun out. Shoots the cop, kills the cop, then every cop.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Alright, not funny.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  Then every single cop chases him. He's driving down the highway with nine hundred, nine hundred cop cars. And they get the, they're like, we need the Bearcat. They always break out the Bearcat.

• 17:24Speaker 00

  They started hitting his car with a tank, dude. Then they, he finally stops. Every single cop gets out and shoots. Everyone was like taking turns like.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Imagine if you really wanted to kill someone and you're a cop. And it's finally there, you're speeding. They're probably salivating.

• 17:38Speaker 00

  They, they show the guys in the cars like while they're following, like loading guns.

• 17:41Matt McCusker?

  That's fair. I think that's fair.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  Then they show the forensics from inside the car. It's hilarious. There's nine hundred lines going through his headrest. He must've been in the car like.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  It must've been crazy.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  I gotta rewatch Grand Tino. That was great.

• 17:59Matt McCusker?

  No, that's, that's fair. If you, you should have like, if you shoot a cop, they should be able to shoot, like find you and shoot you.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  They made a Netflix thing about some chick.

• 18:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they, yeah, they'll get you.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  They made a Netflix documentary just based on body footage. Or body cams.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  That was great.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  The whole thing's that they were next door and it's just this lady was like crazy. She lived in this neighborhood.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Every time a kid came on her lawn, she called the cops. So the cops came over so much, there was enough body cam footage for a documentary.

• 18:24Speaker 00

  What?

• 18:24Speaker 01

  And they edited it into like a story, but like there's never.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  They were fucking with that.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  It was so sad. It was so sad. But there's, there was never an actual camera. It's all cop.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  The one dude though, who like.

• 18:34Speaker 01

  Florida, it's in Florida. Florida's fucking nuts.

• 18:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  His OG baby, my, like baby daddy of the girl who got shot. That guy was kind of like, hey, who's the best dad in the world? I love you guys. I'm the best daddy you got, man. You know, I love you the most. Your mom's dead now.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Dude, this is amazing. Just getting wrecked by some fat bitch.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  Those kids are definitely fucking with that white lady.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. They were torturing her.

• 19:04Speaker 00

  It must've been so fun.

• 19:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, especially when you know.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Yo, it's not fun.

• 19:08Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 19:09Speaker 01

  Every kid fucks with you. If you're white in a black neighborhood, every kid takes turns fucking with you. It just is what it is.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Spade's gonna shoot a mom in his moon.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  So I got the meta glasses. I'm ready. I go.

• 19:20Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you got the meta's?

• 19:21Speaker 01

  My safety, your safety.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  That's step one. Step one is you start filming, then you start plotting.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  Step one is definitely start filming.

• 19:27Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that's.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  I got you.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  I saw that, but I, I want, there was this thing. It was like all these creep glasses. I was like, I need those.

• 19:34Matt McCusker?

  Do you have the meta's?

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got meta's.

• 19:36Matt McCusker?

  People would pay. I feel like people pay good money for that.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  If I'm outside my house, I got my meta's on.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  Dude spitting at Spade?

• 19:42Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no. I'm saying just getting like.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Shitting in my driveway. Bang.

• 19:45Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I feel you could sell it. You could sell it to like the anti racism crowd. If you're like a fifty five year old, like white New York Times lady, she would probably pay money to get like hazed by young black kids.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  True. You should sell the footage, the VR footage.

• 19:58Matt McCusker?

  I deserve this.

• 19:59Speaker 03

  Now, push comes to shove, they immediately go into white supremacy.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  The super liberal, super liberal.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  I mean, Malcolm X used to talk about that.

• 20:08Matt McCusker?

  I voted Democrat, you motherfucker. I'm trying to help you.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  How dare you?

• 20:14Matt McCusker?

  You don't even know what you're doing.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  I'm on your side, dummy.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  I love that during BLM, dudes were like chanting, there's a brick going through a dorm window from three stories. Like, we're on your side.

• 20:23Matt McCusker?

  We're on your side, man. What the fuck?

• 20:27Speaker 00

  They're playing beer pong. Protesters walk by and they're like, yeah.

• 20:33Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck?

• 20:37Matt McCusker?

  Oh, my God.

• 20:38Speaker 00

  They just screamed.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  That was like three stories up.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was a launch.

• 20:41Matt McCusker?

  Yo, what the fuck, man?

• 20:43Speaker 00

  Might have been Kaepernick himself. That was a bullet. Whoever threw that. That was a launch.

• 20:47Matt McCusker?

  Spiral brick. So what, do you have any good footage of the, of the kids?

• 20:52Speaker 01

  What are you talking about? Oh, am I out?

• 20:54Matt McCusker?

  Hey, stop it.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  Not yet. I just have them on for protection.

• 20:57Matt McCusker?

  You're ready.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. And the neighborhood is getting nicer, but for years there, I mean, Bill can attest to this.

• 21:02Matt McCusker?

  Nah, dude.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  It was Wild West, Wild.

• 21:05Matt McCusker?

  I was, I was walking.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  That was the main thing, like all these like people, all these liberal people be like, oh, saying all this BLM shit. It's like, dude, are you seeing what I'm seeing?

• 21:12Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  This is not where I live.

• 21:13Matt McCusker?

  Tap into the, tap into the view.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  I'm at my metas.

• 21:16Matt McCusker?

  I was walking Zeus one time.

• 21:22Matt McCusker?

  You put him on, you find out.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Like today.

• 21:24Matt McCusker?

  Just rage baiting the whole time.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Like, I know that this is not, I know this isn't the rest of the world, but we're in West Philadelphia. I'm on Langston, there's like a free food thing, right? There's a white liberal chick trying to cross the street all like hobbley moving slow with a K95 mask on.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  They're called Cripsters.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Obviously, there's, there's smoke in the air, right? This is the place to go get free food. She's going into an Audi.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  There's tons of free.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  So she's going, like she's getting free food, going into an Audi.

• 21:51Matt McCusker?

  She's laughing.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  On some warp shit.

• 21:52Matt McCusker?

  She's laughing, yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 21:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna listen to these people.

• 21:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she's, yeah, she's in her community laughing.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  Cripsters, dude, I swear to God, I've watched the Crip.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Dude, they walk all slow, kinda like some weird, put on some weird ass fucking limp.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  I literally saw a Cripster at a fucking bus stop and she got up off her wheelchair and sat back down with holy shit. You're actually stealing.

• 22:12Speaker 00

  They're pumped on the fucking masks right now. I was walking.

• 22:15Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:15Speaker 00

  They're so excited to break.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  They're like, please get your K95, their quality's low and we should just always be wearing this.

• 22:21Matt McCusker?

  Also, do you remember?

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Yo, I might start wearing it, flat cameras, fucking might start wearing.

• 22:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true, put on the, what'd you see, they have a.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  I'll go full Unabomber.

• 22:32Matt McCusker?

  They have. Unabomber decor.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Videotape you going right into your house.

• 22:37Matt McCusker?

  They have glasses you can buy now that apparently like throw your face off on AI surveillance.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, the Chinese, yeah.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  But like you literally would have to be walking around like no phone, no car, you'd have to be naked.

• 22:47Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, the phone is like.

• 22:48Matt McCusker?

  Phone's got you.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Dead rights.

• 22:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the phone's got you, audio, video, GPS.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  I mean, yeah, I don't care. Obviously, you don't want NASA surveillance like that, but.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  I don't know how they're giving tickets out, though. People are getting like tickets or being on their phone and shit in their car.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  Well, there is a cop. I don't know. I can't remember where the cop was. I want to say Texas or Pasadena, maybe. I don't know. Some cop started stalking a female cop that he knew. Using the flock hammer.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, with great power comes great responsibility. I've just watched all three Spidermans.

• 23:16Matt McCusker?

  Wait, the guy was.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  It was a cop.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Pretty good.

• 23:20Matt McCusker?

  He was using.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  He was using the flock hammer system. So you can like tap it in the shit. If you're like a cop, you can like be like, oh, let's see what's going on. But he was doing it to. Take a look, take a peek on a coworker.

• 23:29Matt McCusker?

  They've been doing that with like, well, at least the civilians to their phone numbers. You file a report like, I'm gonna need your phone number. And they're like, hey, they're like fucking five beers deep like, yo, are you all right?

• 23:39Speaker 03

  You ever see the shield?

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Then blew on, dude.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  It's a shield.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  There was a guy at Michigan football who was sneaking into the athletic department that had all the female athletes emails and passwords.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Didn't he get on their webcams?

• 23:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  How are they still trying to act like they're all big and bad then? Ohio State has that wrestling dude that was like the worst. That was the worst shit ever. He was like literally pulling on people's dicks and shit.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  Penn State might have.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  Sandusky fucking, he's done. I'm just saying.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  We might have.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Little big for their britches after having to do literally goon on girls webcams.

• 24:17Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  You should be shut down for a year.

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Then their head coach break into the lady's house and be like, I'm gonna fucking kill myself, you bitch.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  A lot of magic on me right now.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  I forgot that that happened.

• 24:28Speaker 00

  That poor guy.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Threatens suicide.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Also, he would have been fine. If somebody else would hire him right away.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  What'd he do?

• 24:34Speaker 00

  He hooked up with a fucking chick that works for the team.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  But, oh, he got in trouble for going to her house and saying he's gonna fucking kill himself.

• 24:40Speaker 00

  Then when he broke into her house after word got out.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Is this unrequited?

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Stop.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  He's like crying.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 24:49Matt McCusker?

  Funny though.

• 24:51Matt McCusker?

  He probably thought like, this might work. I'm like a pussy. I'm like a pussy.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  No, you're you're like drunk if that's going to happen. You break into someone's house, you're probably either blacked out or on psych meds. Like no normal human.

• 25:02Matt McCusker?

  Could be in love. Love makes you do crazy things.

• 25:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I hear you.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  Powerful drug.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  It's one of the most powerful.

• 25:08Matt McCusker?

  That's why I say falling in love.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  EJ wants me to watch obsession. He says it's real.

• 25:12Speaker 00

  Obsession?

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:13Speaker 00

  It's Girlfriend Simulator.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:17Speaker 00

  First half of the movie is just not a scary movie.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  This is what they're like for real.

• 25:21Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  You have to see this. Like, alright.

• 25:23Matt McCusker?

  That's so funny.

• 25:24Speaker 00

  The guy, the main character and it's gonna piss you off.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Really?

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's, he's a little beta, little soft boy.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  I just watched Tom Holland Spider-Mans, dude. Tom Holland's a beast. Yeah, he's a beast, but he doesn't look like it at first. Then once he gets a-

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Well, you're judging on size, because that's it. That's what you do.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 25:39Matt McCusker?

  You don't like-

• 25:39Speaker 03

  I'm friends with short people. I'm literally friends with short people.

• 25:41Matt McCusker?

  You don't like Tobey Maguire?

• 25:43Speaker 03

  I like Tom Holland the most.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, Tom Holland's the best one. I never liked Andrew Garfield either.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  I also like the powers he has on his suit. And Tobey Maguire is the- Tobey Maguire is the only one who actually shoots web out of his body.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  So funny how I used to break my balls about Marvel nerd stuff. You get one chick that's into it and now listen to it.

• 25:58Matt McCusker?

  That's how, that's exactly how it works.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  This is crazy.

• 26:01Matt McCusker?

  Dude, you're literally, you're literally-

• 26:04Speaker 01

  You watched The Eternals.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  Guilty as charged with the stories. I watched half of The Eternals and I was like, fuck this. Because it could have been sick.

• 26:11Matt McCusker?

  Wait, what's The Eternals?

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Bill's holding together a sacred timeline right now with Marvel.

• 26:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. I don't really like the multiverse, but I am in the sacred timeline.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm going through from 1940, starting at Captain America, and currently I'm on, I just finished Spider-Man.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  His chick has him on the actual Marvel timeline.

• 26:27Matt McCusker?

  I did it. I literally did this, like, eight years ago.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  Love, I'm, it's like, I don't really watch that.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  No, you did it with Supes. You did it with like CW Supes, right?

• 26:35Matt McCusker?

  I did all. I did, I did the, I did a, fuck, what is it? I did The Vampire Diaries.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did.

• 26:41Matt McCusker?

  I did Marvel too.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  Oh, you did Marvel too?

• 26:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I did all that shit, dude.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  The McGuffins are susceptible to girl.

• 26:46Matt McCusker?

  A hundred percent.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  Oh, they're sims.

• 26:48Matt McCusker?

  It's called a-

• 26:48Speaker 01

  That's a king simp.

• 26:50Speaker 00

  Is it? Marvel?

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Are you kidding me?

• 26:52Speaker 00

  Girl?

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Matt.

• 26:53Matt McCusker?

  Marvel's-

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 26:53Matt McCusker?

  It's true.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 26:55Matt McCusker?

  Literally the king sip.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Bro, Spidey.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Sim jeans.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Girl?

• 26:59Speaker 00

  Spider-Man, Spider-Man is the most girl, out of all the-

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Spider-Man out of his.

• 27:03Speaker 00

  If I hear you talking about Wonder Woman, we're gonna have.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  I fucking hate that shit. I didn't watch. I literally skipped fucking.

• 27:08Matt McCusker?

  I'm a Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange is my, I'm a Doctor Strange.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, he also likes Doctor Strange.

• 27:12Matt McCusker?

  I love Doctor Strange.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  Might be the best, honestly. Me and Spade watched, fuck, we went to San Diego, dude, we went and saw fucking Guardians of the Galaxy three together.

• 27:19Matt McCusker?

  That's different.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  Guardians is number one.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  That's dude, one seat apart and we were literally just waiting for our flight, went to the fucking place, I think it was in Coronado, and almost cried together watching it.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Guardians is a little too close though.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Guardians three.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Guardians one's I'm good.

• 27:32Matt McCusker?

  Trying to think, what was the show? The show, I didn't watch Vampire Diaries, I watched the spinoff of Vampire, it was called the, uh.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  No, it's insane.

• 27:39Matt McCusker?

  I forgot what it's called.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  I didn't watch that since I was like seventeen, give me that, give me that.

• 27:42Matt McCusker?

  Those shows are crazy.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Were you, were you?

• 27:44Speaker 03

  My chick was.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  I mean, maybe it's somebody else I'm thinking of, were you watching like Archer and like the Batman, the Gotham?

• 27:49Matt McCusker?

  Fed likes Archer. I watch Gotham, I watch Gotham, also a terrible show.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  These are crazy shows to watch.

• 27:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, very bad show, the girl shows.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  I'm not trying to niche bog.

• 27:58Matt McCusker?

  You're not niche bogging. It's, it's girl shows, you're, when you're first with a babe, you're just like, okay, what are we gonna do? And she's like, we're gonna watch like the worst show ever.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  I mean, she hit me with Studio Ghibli, which was honestly pretty good.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Ghibli's kinda.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  The boy in the hair and unreal, and then I hit Harry Potter for the first time ever, so.

• 28:14Matt McCusker?

  Harry Potter.

• 28:14Speaker 00

  Maybe it's why I'm not married.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:17Speaker 00

  But the girls I'm with are getting hit with Ruud van Nistelrooy, all goals scored by Manchester United. They're getting hit with Jeremiah Love highlights thirty straight minutes.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  This is niche bogging.

• 28:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's, that's what they're getting hit with.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like an iPad kid.

• 28:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, you watch this shit, check this out.

• 28:32Matt McCusker?

  I'm not used to having a remote.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  The Eagles were before this game.

• 28:35Matt McCusker?

  I'm too, I'm too little, bro. I don't even, I don't, I see a remote, I'm just, I just like look at it and just wait for someone to take it, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, I don't, I don't, I'm a scumbag, I don't deserve to be touched, I think.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Whatever you want, put it on, I'm not changing.

• 28:46Matt McCusker?

  I think, I think the show I was watching was called The Immortals.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Uh, I think there was a show, the movie is The Immortals and the dude from Silicon Valley, the Indian guy's in it, and he has like finger guns, and I was like, dude, this is too big, they're literally Immortals.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  You're talking about Eternals.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Eternals, yeah, sorry. Immortals might have been what you watched.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  With Henry Cavill.

• 29:02Matt McCusker?

  You don't like any superhero shit?

• 29:04Speaker 00

  Um, I like the. Guardians of the Galaxy, that shit.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Guardians is good, yeah.

• 29:09Matt McCusker?

  That's not, that doesn't even count. That doesn't even count.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  I never saw any of the X-Men.

• 29:12Matt McCusker?

  The originals, sorry. It's called the originals.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  I think there was an X-Men that I liked.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying, it's good.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Last Stand, it's pretty good.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  And then I got a little me time and I was like, hey, why don't we watch No Country for Old Men? And she was into it and the ending happened and it was, she was pissed. So what the fuck was that? So that's the end of the movie. It's sick.

• 29:29Matt McCusker?

  No, they need clean resolutions, dude.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:32Matt McCusker?

  They need two people to go, wait, wait, you can't get on that plane. Anything outside of that, they go, what the fuck?

• 29:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:41Matt McCusker?

  Doesn't make sense.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  And then that other movie.

• 29:43Speaker 00

  How come he's not talking to himself the entire movie explaining exactly what he's doing? I don't know what he's doing. How'd he get here?

• 29:48Speaker 01

  It's weird because they don't care about it when it's horny time.

• 29:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  If there's a movie that's all horny time, they don't, they don't need explanations.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  They don't need a guy's name or anything.

• 29:57Matt McCusker?

  I might fire out Fifty Shades, I might fire that back up.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  Lagoon to it or just?

• 30:01Matt McCusker?

  No, rent it, just watch it. Rent it and watch it.

• 30:03Speaker 00

  It's all about, I've never seen it.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Never seen it.

• 30:05Matt McCusker?

  Fifty Shades is.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  You watched it?

• 30:07Matt McCusker?

  I saw, I went and saw it in the theaters, yeah.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  I'm trying to see Odyssey.

• 30:10Matt McCusker?

  I was on a date, I was on a date.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  That's a crazy date. Which date?

• 30:15Matt McCusker?

  Like, early years ago.

• 30:17Speaker 00

  Is this like an early date?

• 30:18Matt McCusker?

  Years ago, uh, it was.

• 30:20Speaker 00

  Like a first or second date?

• 30:20Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no, no, it wasn't first or second.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  That's like seventh grade movie.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  I mean, you can look up when that came out.

• 30:25Matt McCusker?

  You can look up, you can look up the era, but it was way, way back.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Miles in his villain arc.

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  Different people, different time, different people.

• 30:32Speaker 00

  Tinder date to fucking Fifty Shades.

• 30:33Matt McCusker?

  It was before, it was before that. It was before that. Holy balls, bro.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  It was another lifetime.

• 30:40Matt McCusker?

  Hold on, a lifetime.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  That's like Gerben putting on the red lights, bro.

• 30:45Speaker 00

  That is Gerben taking it to Chinatown.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  It's hitting me right now that you are, you're taxi driver walking into the theater, bro.

• 30:54Matt McCusker?

  Did you finish? It was a different lifetime, dude.

• 30:56Speaker 00

  I hear you, man, I don't remember that.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  That's 2015.

• 31:01Matt McCusker?

  Same old Matt.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Twenty fifteen, what were you?

• 31:05Matt McCusker?

  Nah, I think I think it was older. That might have been the the new one. Talking about the original.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Fifty more shades or whatever.

• 31:10Matt McCusker?

  That was fifty more. I'm talking about fifty.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  Damn, I didn't know you were good like that.

• 31:14Matt McCusker?

  I was good. I was suave.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  I would just say, hey, let's wait.

• 31:16Matt McCusker?

  I was bricked up. I was completely bricked up.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  I would have been, yeah, I mean, you know.

• 31:20Matt McCusker?

  I was eternally bricked, dude.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  Chicks are always reading fucking those sexy books.

• 31:25Matt McCusker?

  The sexy books, nonstop. The best is when they are reading a sexy book. You just sit there and start reading out loud what they're reading. They get so mad. It gets like, stop, you're ruining it.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  It's very hot.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  They're in book clubs.

• 31:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:37Speaker 00

  They all read a sexy book together.

• 31:39Matt McCusker?

  Horny books.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  And then talk about it.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  That's so hot.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  That's like jerking off together in seventh grade.

• 31:43Matt McCusker?

  Dude, literally, they're good.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  They might just be late on that. They hit their sexual peak late.

• 31:48Matt McCusker?

  They do.

• 31:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think they're late on everything.

• 31:50Matt McCusker?

  What they do with it? I don't know, but.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  I haven't run into it yet.

• 31:55Matt McCusker?

  Kind of keep it to themselves.

• 31:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've heard that. I've read that a long time ago. The women peak sexually around like, what is it, thirty five or forty?

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. They just don't usually do it with their husbands.

• 32:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they do. They they like to build a life that they can just build up deep sexual frustration with it and then they betray it all.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  That's hot.

• 32:16Matt McCusker?

  It is hot. It's undeniably hot.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Blue Joe gold.

• 32:18Matt McCusker?

  It's undeniably hot.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  You need the gold because it's got the mental.

• 32:25Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, but it does shit to your brain. It helps you get a bone.

• 32:27Speaker 03

  Have you tried it?

• 32:28Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  No.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  See that shit like, um, Hacksaw trying to give out all the dudes tea in the army?

• 32:34Matt McCusker?

  Is he really?

• 32:35Speaker 01

  Oh, it's gonna be nuts.

• 32:36Matt McCusker?

  And I think that's what you get. You get like testosterone and you get like the apoc- you get read like the book of revelations. And then you go and you do what needs to be done, obviously, to create the conditions for Jesus.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Imagine if they had like tea boosters in the in the original crusade.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  They did, dude.

• 32:50Matt McCusker?

  They did. It was just all like eighteen year olds.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  True belief in God.

• 32:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, T. Is he getting that approved?

• 32:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, you like get tested.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Thirty years old.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Just like get tested. Everyone's gonna be juiced up, dude.

• 33:03Matt McCusker?

  Smart.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  Pretty much making Spartans again.

• 33:06Matt McCusker?

  Pretty much. I wouldn't mind that. It is what it is. We gotta we gotta do what we gotta do.

• 33:10Speaker 00

  We're gonna need jacked guys.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  Nah, nah, you need more Odissiuses, dude.

• 33:14Matt McCusker?

  I just want the shit.

• 33:15Speaker 00

  You need silver cup of Odissiuses?

• 33:16Matt McCusker?

  I just want them to isolate. I want to isolate the mental aspect of the new boner pills. Give me just that. How powerful would you be with just the mental aspect?

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Beware of the Greeks and their guests.

• 33:26Matt McCusker?

  Just mentally horny.

• 33:28Speaker 00

  Wish I wish my dick worked. I'm so horny.

• 33:30Matt McCusker?

  I was literally called Adderall, bro.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  You get shriveled, you just get shriveled. Your head is fucking going a thousand miles a minute.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  I don't get very horny on it.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  I don't get, my dick literally goes away.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  I only experienced that one time with the molly. I only experienced that one time where I was like, whoa, what the fuck?

• 33:49Matt McCusker?

  Molly's a shriveler.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Look at no.

• 33:51Matt McCusker?

  Molly's a monster shriveler.

• 33:53Speaker 00

  You don't mind? Yeah. How long you on molly?

• 33:56Matt McCusker?

  P O's.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  Adderall though, you hit the urinal and you go, dude.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Kill me.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  Please no one see this. This is crazy.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  I had to take like.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  That's what I was telling Bill, like all these, all these dudes.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  Cadaver.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  All these dudes are getting psyopted on like getting their T tested and it's like if I was like, yo, let me measure your dick right now.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, true.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  That's what they're just taking like one little reading and shit changes during the day.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  It does.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  You know?

• 34:18Speaker 03

  And he, I don't.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  But you want to measure your dick? Like someone should be measuring it constantly for like a week and then give you like, there it is.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  A T reader.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  That's the.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  There was a.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  I think he's bullshit too.

• 34:27Speaker 00

  There's a yardstick in my new house that was left over. As soon as I saw it, I was like.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  No, let's see where we're at.

• 34:32Speaker 00

  Hide that. I never want to see this thing. I haven't seen what seven inches looks like in so long. I thought I was close, dude.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  It's not a remote?

• 34:40Speaker 00

  We're not even near that. I just literally like.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  It's like one of these.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  Literally saw it across the room and I was like.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Yo, start measuring from behind your balls, bro. The shaft goes past it.

• 34:50Matt McCusker?

  Any dude with a tape measure does the same exact thing. You just go.

• 34:54Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 34:55Speaker 03

  That's what if you're.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  Probably about.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  If you're with it enough.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  Maybe it is that.

• 34:59Matt McCusker?

  And then you go, that's what fucking nine looks like? Jesus Christ. You put it away.

• 35:03Speaker 03

  Pulling out tape measure, looking at thirteen inches is literally classic.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  Every time. Yeah, that's pretty nice.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  It's great work, Jeff. Those are the best reels. The guys are like, yo, cut that two inches. And the guy's like.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  There was an eye worker constantly would tell us, we were like fucking nineteen years old. He was like, I got a cock like a hockey puck. I was like, bro, why you telling me this?

• 35:27Speaker 01

  What does that even mean?

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Like fucking fat gordo. So he had like a log.

• 35:31Matt McCusker?

  I, I shared, I shared an office with a guy who would just constantly tell me about his huge penis.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  I would too, honestly, if I had one.

• 35:37Matt McCusker?

  He would be like, I spit in women's mouths. He's like, that's what you do. That's what they want. You just go, you fucking whore.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  You spit in their mouth?

• 35:42Matt McCusker?

  He would claim, he goes, what they want you to do is.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  I've never understood this.

• 35:45Matt McCusker?

  I, I would just sit there and go, bro.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Deeply troubled.

• 35:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. So I will not do that. I'll not, I'll never try.

• 35:49Matt McCusker?

  As I said, I would never.

• 35:50Speaker 00

  If a girl told me to do it, I'd go, you, ew.

• 35:54Matt McCusker?

  Don't like that stuff. I don't like that.

• 35:56Speaker 00

  Guess I'll do it.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  That's what we're doing right now.

• 36:01Matt McCusker?

  You whore.

• 36:02Speaker 00

  Spit my mouth. I haven't brushed my teeth all day. Fed like three coffees.

• 36:05Matt McCusker?

  It's like foamy white spit.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't have spit.

• 36:09Matt McCusker?

  I just take it to ten. I turn around and shit on him right away. Fucking whore.

• 36:16Matt McCusker?

  I lay on my back, lift my legs and shit the bed.

• 36:18Speaker 00

  Just launch one into the hedges.

• 36:20Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna fucking kill myself. Diddy did that, right? I, I, I, I think he did everything.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  Scat man. I think he was the scat.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so. I think there was like a thing where he like, he shit on someone's chest. Or got his chest shit.

• 36:32Matt McCusker?

  No, that's you're thinking of Ray J. Ray J. got, he claimed, he claimed four pounds of shit on him.

• 36:38Speaker 00

  Oh, Ray J. got shit on by four pounds?

• 36:41Matt McCusker?

  He said, he said he claimed a lady dumped a four pound, he said this on stream.

• 36:44Speaker 00

  He's in the gay agency.

• 36:45Matt McCusker?

  He was, he was on, he was on.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Oh, that guy?

• 36:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Oh, that guy's hilarious.

• 36:48Matt McCusker?

  Ray J. Ray J. might be one of the funniest guys, because a lot of those guys, those entertainers come back and they are like Batman Bill, like six nine is like a Batman Bill.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  I thought six nine was dead for something. Like my head's so fucked up. I was like, damn, there's six nine. Then I saw Dame Dash talking shit on Jay-Z. I was like, who are these guys?

• 37:03Matt McCusker?

  He's been up to, he's been up to that for a long time.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 37:06Matt McCusker?

  He's done a lot of Tubi movies. Dame Dash was gonna make a huge comeback with Tubi movies.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  What was he famous for in the beginning?

• 37:15Matt McCusker?

  The Rockefeller.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he was, he was like spraying bottles in the background of the music videos. He was, he was the man for a while. He was kind of Diddy. He was like a slight Diddy.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Diddy adjacent.

• 37:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he was like, he was like a, it was same, he was like a hype man for a label that he created. So he kind of tore a page out of Diddy's handbook. And he was, he was good at it.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:34Matt McCusker?

  And then it was just like Jay-Z became quadrillionaire.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  Jay-Z, yeah.

• 37:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. And then he was just kind of like, check out my movie on Tubi.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  Damn, so he just like talks shit? That sucks. And they were boys?

• 37:44Speaker 00

  He signed Kanye too. He signed Jay-Z.

• 37:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Oh, so he signed them?

• 37:48Speaker 00

  Diplomats. Yeah, they were all under Rockefeller.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. So, I mean, he fucking.

• 37:51Matt McCusker?

  He was good. He was fine. He was cool. I, I love his, his interviews. I would assume so.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  You got fucked up.

• 37:58Speaker 00

  He was, and then I think he got, yeah.

• 38:00Matt McCusker?

  Although his interviews, I will say he's one of the best podcast guests of all time. He wears a suit and just calls whoever's interviewing him gay. It's kinda, it's really nice.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  The reels I get, when I'm trying to make an intro, I fucking look at the reels, I'm like, bro.

• 38:12Matt McCusker?

  He's nice.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  This guy's money.

• 38:13Matt McCusker?

  He's, he's honestly pretty great.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  So many great soundbites.

• 38:15Matt McCusker?

  Goes on The Breakfast Club, calls Charlamagne and then the other guy gay, cause he's like, you guys have a boss? That's gay. And just, it's so fu- it's, and I, I, I don't wanna, I think he might be kind of hammered the whole time. I'm pretty sure he's hammered everywhere.

• 38:29Speaker 00

  A lot of these guys are hammered.

• 38:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think he's.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  Awesome, awesome.

• 38:32Matt McCusker?

  Hammered suit, just going, you guys don't know anything about business, you're gay. Check out my new movie on Tubi.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  Fifty year old blacks that get hammered are the greatest.

• 38:43Matt McCusker?

  He's, and he's pausing everything, he's a heavy pauser, he's, Dave Dash is the man. I really genuinely think he is the man.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  That's what I got, that's why I'm remembering it, cause he got hit, he hit like a weird pause today and it made me laugh.

• 38:54Speaker 00

  It's so funny that that's how they split, like Jay-Z went and became, like I'm a billionaire, I'm a businessman. And then the other guy got hammered in his suit and was like, you guys are fucking gay. I'm making Tubi.

• 39:06Matt McCusker?

  He's crazy.

• 39:07Speaker 00

  And the boys broke up and fell apart.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  Jay-Z started opening up for Hillary Clinton, that shit was weird.

• 39:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:14Speaker 03

  He was doing it in Philly, I remember that shit.

• 39:15Matt McCusker?

  I know, I remember that thing.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Him and Miss Knowles.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  The Beehive.

• 39:22Matt McCusker?

  Don't have the Beehive come after you, dude.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was gonna be commenting bumblebees on your pictures.

• 39:29Matt McCusker?

  I think that's, I think now they're, they're more just a brand now. Cause I, I think, well Beyonce had the country album.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was the best country album of all time.

• 39:36Matt McCusker?

  I'll be honest, that one song is a hit.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 39:38Matt McCusker?

  It ain't Texas.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  The one that was written by fucking the best songwriters in Nashville, yeah, it was probably hit.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  Don't be a crybaby.

• 39:44Matt McCusker?

  Dude, this is the thing.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  You can't, you can't give a black woman credit for this.

• 39:48Matt McCusker?

  I was, I was a Beyonce. I was a Beyonce hater, friend.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Good old boy.

• 39:53Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm gonna be honest.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  I'm just a good old boy.

• 39:56Matt McCusker?

  I've been trying, I've been trying to do a thing.

• 40:00Matt McCusker?

  I would try to do a thing.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  This ain't for me.

• 40:03Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I would go, I would listen, I would go like this, I always Beyonce hated forever, because I'd always, everyone.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  I'm not a Beyonce hater.

• 40:08Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm telling you, listen, listen, I would always, all the time.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  I'm a Beyonce.

• 40:11Matt McCusker?

  In my relationships, the girl, everyone, they would go, well, they would go, Beyonce's, she's alright. And I was, I was just geared to hate, so I'm like, let me just give an honest listen to this album, that song came on, I'm like, god damn, it was a toe tapping, it was a toe tapping hit.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Look up a road.

• 40:24Speaker 00

  It's a toe tap.

• 40:24Matt McCusker?

  It was a toe tapping hit, come on.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  I'm a Shaboozie guy, bro.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  Shaboozie rules.

• 40:28Matt McCusker?

  Shaboozie's nice too.

• 40:29Speaker 03

  The most positive dude I've ever seen on video.

• 40:31Matt McCusker?

  Shaboozie's nice. The queen bee, just, all you have to do, just, dude, Bill, just say she slayed, just say she fucking ate, alright, just say she fucking ate. She fucking ate.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Is that like ate and served and all that?

• 40:44Matt McCusker?

  Just say she ate.

• 40:45Speaker 00

  She served cunt on that album. And Missy served cunt on the album.

• 40:48Matt McCusker?

  This ain't ten.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, she, uh, she definitely did.

• 40:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, song rule.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Like I said.

• 40:53Matt McCusker?

  Billy's gay.

• 40:57Matt McCusker?

  I think is the, is the pop country rush over?

• 41:00Speaker 03

  No, it's just begun.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Rap is, I mean, Billy's coined the term Judeo-Christian.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  Judeo-country.

• 41:05Matt McCusker?

  Judeo-country.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, Judeo-country.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  They've moved from the rap, so like, you know how it's like, oh, the CIA and like.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  We're like, go, go fishing, I'm drinking, I have a truck.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  It's called Judeo-country, I made it up.

• 41:18Matt McCusker?

  That's great.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  It's a great term. No, I don't like it.

• 41:22Speaker 03

  No, like, um.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  Wake up, country.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  I'm at a lake.

• 41:29Matt McCusker?

  Technically, it's cows.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  I just, did you see how there's no rap in like the top forty right now?

• 41:35Matt McCusker?

  Uh-uh.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have Sauron has went on to.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Drizly will come back.

• 41:40Speaker 00

  He did, Drizly did.

• 41:41Matt McCusker?

  Yo, if he goes country, that'd be nasty.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  He'll go country.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  There was rumors. No, I think it's a meme.

• 41:47Matt McCusker?

  He won't go country.

• 41:48Speaker 00

  If he did go country, he would dominate.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, right now, that, it's all country and like shit like that, and like, uh.

• 41:53Matt McCusker?

  This, Judeo-country's the new rap metal.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  No, it's a new rap.

• 41:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  It's rap, but it's country.

• 41:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Okay, fair enough. I, dude, I'm telling you. People are sleeping on the TPUSA halftime show. That was.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  People were literally sleeping on it. No one watched it.

• 42:12Matt McCusker?

  I watched it. It was so funny, dude.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  The Bad Baby one in English was hilarious.

• 42:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 00

  Really?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Translated, yeah.

• 42:18Matt McCusker?

  Ah.

• 42:19Speaker 00

  It was what you were talking about with him, where it's like.

• 42:20Matt McCusker?

  Oh, his lyrics.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  I want to show my aunt, my new boy, my new girlfriend.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  It's like walking around.

• 42:25Speaker 00

  She's so hot.

• 42:26Matt McCusker?

  My aunt's so horny for my sex. His lyrics are fucked, dude. They're crazy. I saw that years ago. I remember I heard of him and I actually would like listen to Bad Bunny and I was like, that was this guy talking about it. I looked it up and I was like, yo, bro.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  Krieger's about to eat his tongue.

• 42:43Matt McCusker?

  I talked about it on the local New York news program.

• 42:47Matt McCusker?

  I'm never doing that ever again.

• 42:48Speaker 00

  It was my favorite.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Why'd you do it?

• 42:50Speaker 00

  The one, no, the local, wasn't that?

• 42:52Matt McCusker?

  Philly, Philly is the best.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  Philly one was one of the craziest news.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  What did you do?

• 42:55Matt McCusker?

  When I, when I did the special.

• 42:56Speaker 00

  Promoting his special.

• 42:57Matt McCusker?

  They were just like, I did local news.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  824 movie.

• 43:00Matt McCusker?

  It was crazy.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Oh, you did that, dude. His little podcast. That's fucking nuts, dude.

• 43:05Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. They were like, just do all these. I was like, yeah, whatever, whatever it needs to be. I'm a team player.

• 43:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:09Matt McCusker?

  To a fault.

• 43:10Speaker 00

  You're DTP.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Nah, I mean, that guy.

• 43:12Matt McCusker?

  Down to play. And I said, yeah, whatever you think works.

• 43:13Speaker 00

  You were not DTP on the show, though.

• 43:15Matt McCusker?

  Well, that's shut up.

• 43:15Speaker 00

  These guys are fucking coming at me. These motherfuckers.

• 43:17Matt McCusker?

  Well, here's the thing, my, my brother had beef with him. So I was ready for him to start. So I was on guard the whole time, ready to be like, yeah, dude, you're a fucking asshole to my brother. So then like I was there, ready for him to start, but he was so nice. And also soon I got there, I went, I shouldn't have done this.

• 43:32Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 43:33Matt McCusker?

  And I came out like, hey. But also too, I couldn't stop. I, whenever I'm doing.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  This is to get more eyes on your show.

• 43:40Matt McCusker?

  It was supposedly, yeah. Whenever, whenever I do a new thing, I can't help it. I have this look in my eyes that's just like a very intense kind of look. Cause I'm just being like, what the fuck's going on right now? And it's, I didn't realize how visible. I've, I've hunter, yeah.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you guys are like public people. So like you have to like learn how to look right.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  You get like glassy.

• 43:56Matt McCusker?

  I haven't done that.

• 43:57Speaker 00

  Your eyes get glassy.

• 43:58Matt McCusker?

  They do.

• 43:58Speaker 00

  Eyes are glassy on that interview. You're like, what?

• 44:02Speaker 00

  The guy's like, so you have a new special coming out? That had to be like, that's pretty cool, man. You made it to Netflix. You're like, yeah. You're visibly thinking.

• 44:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:14Speaker 00

  The voice in the head or two.

• 44:15Matt McCusker?

  They do trash. Yes.

• 44:17Speaker 00

  Okay. Trash business.

• 44:19Matt McCusker?

  He's like, oh, that's a little weird. I'm like, it's not that weird. When he was talking about homeless people, that's a little, I was like, it's not at all. It's totally fine to laugh at homeless people shitting. He was like, okay, I guess it is. Yeah, that was weird. The pot, I also, it really, yeah, I don't think it does.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  Radio guys used to get me with that. I was going to do a radio thing and you sit there and you're like,

• 44:35Matt McCusker?

  Six a.m.

• 44:36Speaker 00

  This is nuts. You got, you got, think you guys are trash for me. The way you're talking to me.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  The person in Steve's, yeah, dude, yeah.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  It's like local news, radio humor where it's like, there's like weird sexual innuendo is like the funny, the funniest thing they can do is sexual innuendo. But they're also, they belittle you the entire time.

• 44:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  They gotta keep it real clean.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  It's a room of like six people that see each other every morning and hate each other. I think I'm pretty funny. I think I could do what you do, honestly.

• 45:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, okay.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  Dude, I'm an Eskimo brother with one of those guys and they do do comedy. They did do comedy and they ended up there.

• 45:08Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, that's, that for sure. That's also, congrats.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  Who are you Eskimo brothers with?

• 45:11Speaker 01

  I mean, you can't do that on camera.

• 45:14Speaker 00

  You're not on camera.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  That's great. I mean, are you?

• 45:17Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  No one even knows it's you.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  It's Baltimore. It's a guy in Baltimore.

• 45:19Matt McCusker?

  Ah, okay.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  His name's not Mickey, is it?

• 45:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 45:26Matt McCusker?

  Let's tie your Eskimo bros with them.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 45:29Matt McCusker?

  I respect any of my Eskimo brothers. I would never fight with an Eskimo bro.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  No, I don't know. I mean, my swords are down now. My sword's down now, dude.

• 45:38Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Wars over.

• 45:39Matt McCusker?

  Wars over.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Church and wars over, right?

• 45:43Speaker 01

  I'm out at the sea right now, waiting for the wind.

• 45:47Matt McCusker?

  It is cra- dude, I, at forty, your boner falls off a cliff. It's like clockwork. It's so, it's kind of sick.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  What are you even here for?

• 45:58Speaker 00

  I love that. And he's down, down. He has a gun pointed at his head. He's fucking, fuck him, buddy.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  No one's ever gonna top that show.

• 46:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  No, it's the greatest show that's ever been made.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  When he's hyped after they do the news and he goes out and punches the fucking.

• 46:17Matt McCusker?

  Start, honestly, season one pilot to the final of four.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 46:21Matt McCusker?

  Unbelievable ending. Yeah, it's, it won't be touched ever again. It's just, it's Mount Olympus.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Especially however.

• 46:26Matt McCusker?

  It's Mount Olympus. That's kinda like my dick right now. It's it and all.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  It's telling dude. It's like an Eastbound Down dude. It's already, it's the best.

• 46:37Matt McCusker?

  Season four Eastbound Down.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  If it does anything now, it's like the home run derby. You're like, yeah, ball.

• 46:44Matt McCusker?

  No, now it's more, I'm just talking like, you know, like some planets, like a year for one planet is like nine Earth years. My dick's on a different rotation now.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  It's like you're hitting that thing where you're like, actually, you think it's a solar system. We're going through the universe.

• 46:59Matt McCusker?

  It used to be fleet footed Mercury. It would just be like two revelat- now it's just old.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's not even a fucking planet anymore.

• 47:07Matt McCusker?

  It's a dead star.

• 47:07Speaker 00

  It's just ice and shit.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  It was never even a circle.

• 47:12Speaker 00

  Shit, it's out there.

• 47:13Matt McCusker?

  Its moons are just now a fine dust that form rings, have crashed into each other.

• 47:17Speaker 03

  Then you eventually start getting ding dong bitched.

• 47:20Matt McCusker?

  And then you fucking run as fast as you can.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  You're an old man and you start to get ding dong.

• 47:23Speaker 00

  They dig, they don't know where it's been fucking with you. It's time to take out the pistol.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  We start chasing little kids.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  I gotta get out of the city. I have like 10 years before I'm, I can't remember what day it is and I have a gun.

• 47:35Matt McCusker?

  No, you just walk, your dick is so soft that your head's like, you're like, you've never been this, then you fall down, you watch, and the news is right there and you go, you just start watching the news and you go, finally.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  Is it like being on shrimp or do you get hang time or you just have ball hang time?

• 47:48Matt McCusker?

  Well, here's the thing, I've, I've reclaimed, I, it's, you do cardio and your dick does start, but it.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  No one's had more dick.

• 47:55Matt McCusker?

  Dude, can I tell you something? Can I tell you something?

• 47:56Speaker 00

  That's six huge again, right?

• 47:57Matt McCusker?

  No, no, it's not.

• 47:58Speaker 00

  It works perfect. It's fine.

• 47:59Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  And soft.

• 48:01Matt McCusker?

  Listen, this is, this will give you an insight into my life. The other day, the other day, it actually, it got like regular hard, like how hard it gets when it's like fully working and my wife laughed. She went, what the fuck is going on?

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Killer.

• 48:14Matt McCusker?

  Yo, come on, come on. It was hard.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  Been there.

• 48:19Speaker 00

  I live in that.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  Whoa, here it is.

• 48:22Matt McCusker?

  You get a whoa tiger.

• 48:24Speaker 00

  This is what I meant. Every time we've had sex, this is what I was going for.

• 48:28Matt McCusker?

  It's the pure expression. But no, it's a, yeah, it's, you know, it's so cyclical, dude. Cause here's the thing too, I can't even fap because of the chance I'll, I'll fap myself out. A simple fap, I'm fapped out for two days. So it's like, I just, I'm on edge.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Dang.

• 48:43Matt McCusker?

  So every now and again, you time the fap, I like, again.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  What would happen if you edged every day?

• 48:49Speaker 01

  I could tell you about this later.

• 48:52Speaker 00

  I don't think anyone can actually edge, dude.

• 48:54Matt McCusker?

  I mean, there's no way.

• 48:55Speaker 00

  There's no way I'm not doing it.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  If you were a high level, like guy like Sting, you could edge everything.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  The guy's writing music from the 14th century.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Sting practiced Tantra.

• 49:06Speaker 03

  That's legendary.

• 49:07Speaker 00

  Fucking crazy.

• 49:08Matt McCusker?

  Kevin Gates, Kevin Gates claims that he just doesn't.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Kevin Gates is this incredible liar.

• 49:14Matt McCusker?

  You think he's capping?

• 49:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Is he dead?

• 49:18Matt McCusker?

  Kevin Gates is alive and well.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Who's the guy that's dead?

• 49:20Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 49:21Matt McCusker?

  You think every rapper's dead?

• 49:23Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  No, no, there's another, there's like a manosphere dude and I think he died.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Oh, you're talking about the black manosphere guy?

• 49:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  What's his name? It's your boy.

• 49:31Matt McCusker?

  He had cocaine in his system.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 49:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, the guy who would call women fat ass.

• 49:36Matt McCusker?

  Who was that guy?

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Kevin.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  It's Kevin something, right?

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Kevin Samuel, I forget his name.

• 49:42Matt McCusker?

  Hey, you might be actually right about that. Yeah. His.

• 49:45Speaker 00

  Being like, how old are you? Yeah, shut up. Old bitch, fat ass.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Two kids, no job.

• 49:52Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break from the show for a special segment called more or less soccer edition. The entire summer of soccer is on prize picks. Don't miss your last chance to get in on the action. They're offering everything from final winners to most goals scored. So this is what we are thinking for picks this week.

• 50:10Matt McCusker?

  Begin with your picks for most goals scored in this year's tournament. Please reference. Okay. Yeah, I'm thinking Lionel Messi, Argentina, eight goals.

• 50:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:18Matt McCusker?

  Kylian Mbappe from France.

• 50:21Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 50:22Matt McCusker?

  They're done.

• 50:22Speaker 00

  Who do you, who do you have next?

• 50:25Matt McCusker?

  Hmm.

• 50:25Speaker 00

  Who's the other guy?

• 50:26Matt McCusker?

  There's Ousmane Dembélé from France, four goals.

• 50:34Matt McCusker?

  You know, the key to pronouncing French names is you had think about what's the most insufferable way to say this? You know, like that's how you probably say it.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 50:42Matt McCusker?

  Dembélé.

• 50:43Speaker 00

  Uh, who do you think should have more or less?

• 50:45Matt McCusker?

  Ooh, I'm thinking, uh, Dembélé is gonna have less.

• 50:50Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 50:50Matt McCusker?

  And Mbappé will have, he'll have more.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  Exactly. Uh, so that's our take. Now it's time to lock in yours. Uh, download the app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 instantly in lineups. If you win your first $5 lineup. Uh, that's code DRENCH to get $50 instantly in lineups. If you win your first $5 lineup prize picks. America's number one sports pick app.

• 51:12Matt McCusker?

  Did you see the, uh, the footage of, uh, Tiga?

• 51:16Speaker 00

  No.

• 51:17Matt McCusker?

  From 106 in Park?

• 51:18Speaker 00

  Tiger.

• 51:19Matt McCusker?

  It's not Tiger, that's a rapper. It's Tiga. Who's Tiga?

• 51:21Speaker 01

  What do you?

• 51:22Matt McCusker?

  Big Tiga.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  I have no idea.

• 51:22Matt McCusker?

  From the rap basement. It was before your time.

• 51:25Speaker 00

  It was before you.

• 51:25Matt McCusker?

  Remember the basement?

• 51:26Speaker 01

  I'll hang up and listen.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, please. But no, he, he was like on.

• 51:29Speaker 00

  Those.

• 51:30Matt McCusker?

  He was on, he was on BET forever. There's footage out where he's wrestling his phone out of his girl. You didn't see this?

• 51:36Speaker 00

  That was.

• 51:37Matt McCusker?

  So I think his girlfriend or wife, dude, their girl has his phone.

• 51:41Speaker 00

  Just put your arm on and keep it down.

• 51:43Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  It's like, we need a pill.

• 51:47Matt McCusker?

  That's his name. That's his name, dude.

• 51:49Speaker 00

  Hold it down.

• 51:50Matt McCusker?

  You guys see Big Tiga?

• 51:56Matt McCusker?

  I can't get my dick hard.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  I mean, dude.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  I just put my hand right here in the cradle.

• 52:03Matt McCusker?

  That's how I'm doing it. Yeah. No, but he's wrestling. So he basically had to wrestle his wife or girlfriend in front of the kid. The kid was like, Mr. Tiga, stop it. Mr. Tiga, let go. Cause he was like wrestling the mom. He's like, just give me my phone. Just give me my phone.

• 52:17Speaker 00

  Oh my God.

• 52:17Matt McCusker?

  So there's a lot of guys reacting and be like, that is that man's personal property and he deserves his personal property.

• 52:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's never a good look when you're wrestling the phone from the woman and then go, there's nothing in there.

• 52:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Speaker 03

  Obviously, you ever see the, you see the video, the chimp who gets a hold of AK-47, everyone just kind of backs away, that's all I can do. So, whatever you want to do, just.

• 52:37Speaker 00

  I think that's from Planet of the Apes.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  No, no, there's a real video. Well, is it from Planet of the Apes?

• 52:42Matt McCusker?

  They got tricked by AI.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  No, he got tricked from a movie.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  That's old school. You know what I'm talking about?

• 52:48Matt McCusker?

  It's Jay Franga?

• 52:49Speaker 03

  That's for real from Planet of the Apes.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Either that or Planet of the Apes copied it.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 00

  Cause there is a scene where a monkey comes down and acts like, he's like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing, he picks up the gun.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  I'll hang up and listen.

• 53:00Speaker 00

  Maybe I'll hang up and listen, you could be right, maybe a monkey did pick up an AK.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:04Speaker 00

  And it was on Ebon's World, it was one of the first things recorded.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying, it's, this is like, old stuff. Maybe it was AI.

• 53:11Matt McCusker?

  Probably before the internet.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  Ah, sorry, I'm shaking.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  I had an NDA.

• 53:17Speaker 00

  The only thing I'm thinking about is how fucked I am tomorrow.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I don't think about that, bro.

• 53:21Speaker 00

  There's no way I'm not.

• 53:22Matt McCusker?

  Oh, here's, here's what you gotta do.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  It's gonna be the greatest.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  Just don't think about it.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  That's the thing, it's crazy.

• 53:26Speaker 00

  Don't read the comments.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Also, though.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  Don't even think about it.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 53:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, thanks. Good for you, man.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  So funny, whatever I tell people about, they go, good for him. Yeah.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, it is like, the real world of it.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  It's awesome.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Like, oh, man. Who's at the link, cool, good for them.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  Everyone's just doing their own thing, so.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  True, they go, wow, wow, shit.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  I don't think they. It's only a freak show, big deal for the guy that has to go on.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  Most people don't, it doesn't register how insanely massive it is, they go, wow.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  It's crazy that dudes do it all the time. Like, it's nuts that you guys go places and then give someone like a night of entertainment and then just roll.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  And that's like their big night.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  That's like their date night.

• 54:05Speaker 03

  It's gonna be a day.

• 54:05Speaker 00

  That's why when you bomb, you're like, I'm, I feel terrible.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 54:09Speaker 00

  And then someone DMs me and goes, I spent 400 fucking dollars, dude, you suck.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 54:14Speaker 00

  I heard that joke.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, maybe they don't.

• 54:15Speaker 00

  I know you heard that fucking joke, dude. I heard that fucking joke, that's all I got, dude, shut the fuck up.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  We're in this together, brother.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  I'm working on it.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Crazy how I do stand up. When we, when we saw fucking, um, The Lumineers, I felt like I was for real in Rivendell. That was fucking crazy.

• 54:30Speaker 00

  Show I've ever seen.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  And you started realizing that these guys like build shows and put together shows, it's a whole nother thing, yeah.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  I've literally felt like.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  I build a show here.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  We got a show going.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  The greatest.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  Fireworks.

• 54:41Matt McCusker?

  You're the first comedian.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  You paid for Pyros?

• 54:43Speaker 00

  Obviously.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  They used to cost an arm or leg in Fight Night. You remember that?

• 54:46Speaker 00

  It costs a real arm or leg.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  Really? The Pyros?

• 54:48Speaker 00

  The Pyros. I'm not making a lot of money on this.

• 54:50Matt McCusker?

  You don't have to.

• 54:51Speaker 00

  It's a lot of money, obviously, but as much as you fucking pay.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:54Speaker 00

  I'm spending a lot on this fucking.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  I'm gonna lose my shirt.

• 54:57Speaker 00

  I'm losing my shirt a little.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  You gotta spend money, make money.

• 54:59Speaker 00

  You're exactly right.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  Did you used to do that in Fight Night?

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Go out, or would you go hardcore and just do nothing, walk out Tyson style?

• 55:06Speaker 00

  There was a couple of those, but sometimes.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  I would do smoke.

• 55:08Speaker 00

  Fight Night fucking rules, bro.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Lasers.

• 55:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  Haymaker.

• 55:12Matt McCusker?

  Boxing video game.

• 55:13Speaker 00

  Jordan, all the Jordan gear. I was wearing all the fucking.

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Stabbing depleted.

• 55:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:17Matt McCusker?

  What's the status on the boxing video game? I feel like they've slipped.

• 55:20Speaker 00

  Fell off, yeah.

• 55:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:21Speaker 00

  They don't have many.

• 55:21Matt McCusker?

  They were so good.

• 55:22Speaker 00

  Fight Night.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Fight Night was a great.

• 55:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:23Speaker 00

  It was awesome.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Better than any UFC game. Fuck all that shit. Fight Night. What was that, Xbox One?

• 55:29Matt McCusker?

  I forget, but it was sick.

• 55:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was like, oh.

• 55:31Matt McCusker?

  UFC games are so good.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  No, the original Fight Night was unreal. The training was unreal. All that shit was awesome. Mini Games in Madden, I will say, was also great.

• 55:39Speaker 00

  That was awesome.

• 55:39Speaker 03

  Forty yard dash, bro. I couldn't fucking run a four three with my two fucking index fingers.

• 55:43Speaker 00

  I never got.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 55:44Matt McCusker?

  They're like legs, if you think about it.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Literally, I know. That's why I would just go like this, double A.

• 55:47Matt McCusker?

  That counts.

• 55:48Speaker 00

  I was running like my actual.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  Think about it.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. My video game guy was as slow as I am.

• 55:52Matt McCusker?

  Are you serious?

• 55:53Speaker 03

  We're just mashed A with your thumb.

• 55:54Speaker 00

  Eight forty, fuck.

• 55:57Speaker 00

  That's fucking tough. It was tough. I couldn't do it.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  Mini Games, fuck, that was good.

• 56:01Speaker 00

  Dude, nice. Running back, Mini Games was awesome.

• 56:04Matt McCusker?

  I did want to ask you something.

• 56:05Speaker 00

  College football.

• 56:06Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 56:06Speaker 00

  It's in NCAA.

• 56:07Matt McCusker?

  Are they really?

• 56:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:08Matt McCusker?

  Is it really?

• 56:08Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 56:09Matt McCusker?

  So, listen to Bifrost Bill. I think it's honestly one of the greatest, greatest episodes.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  Oh, the one we did last week?

• 56:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I will say though, you kind of claimed to be the pioneer of lifting in the house. It was me.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  I mean, that's what, he said that in the beginning.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  I said in the beginning, I said you.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  I don't know what.

• 56:25Speaker 00

  Immediately to the dark side. Bodybuilding picture.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  I don't know what part he started the podcast.

• 56:30Matt McCusker?

  I know, I saw it.

• 56:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 56:32Matt McCusker?

  There are my afters.

• 56:35Speaker 03

  I have the picture.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  I never had a lifting bro.

• 56:41Matt McCusker?

  You didn't?

• 56:41Speaker 03

  Neither did I.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  Me, you did. You took pictures?

• 56:44Matt McCusker?

  That was in college, dude. You had lifting bros by the time you were in college.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  I just had small.

• 56:49Matt McCusker?

  Tell me you didn't have a small.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  I had small mates. They were at the gym. We weren't taking pic. We weren't popping top taking pictures.

• 56:53Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you're talking about start to finish?

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wasn't doing all that shit.

• 56:56Matt McCusker?

  That's fair enough.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  No, I mean, that was the thing that was.

• 56:58Matt McCusker?

  You didn't go in on chicken with BJ's with anybody? You go in on the, on the chicken breast?

• 57:02Speaker 03

  No, never. I would eat Wawa.

• 57:03Matt McCusker?

  I feel bad.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  Classic Hoagies. Chicken classic Hoagies. I was dirty bulking all the time.

• 57:09Matt McCusker?

  You're dirty bulking?

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'd eat clean for like three days and just go, fuck it. Dirty bulk. Ten inch class.

• 57:14Speaker 00

  Welcome to my world, dude. Without the lifting.

• 57:17Speaker 03

  Bro.

• 57:17Speaker 00

  I go, I'm looking good. I'm losing weight. I might as well eat a full fucking pizza every day.

• 57:21Matt McCusker?

  That gets everybody, honestly.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  I'll never do it.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Double dinners, yeah. No, that, the thing that was actually scary was my fucking magnesium shit. That was fucking terrifying.

• 57:30Matt McCusker?

  What was it?

• 57:30Speaker 03

  I fucking almost died, bro.

• 57:32Matt McCusker?

  From what?

• 57:33Speaker 03

  Magnesium. I didn't fucking realize it. Is that good?

• 57:38Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Scary man.

• 57:40Matt McCusker?

  How much, you were too much magnesium?

• 57:42Speaker 03

  I think I was dosing it too much and then I.

• 57:44Matt McCusker?

  Were you load maxing?

• 57:45Speaker 03

  A lot of it. It was in my multivitamin. And then I started taking a magnesium supplement at night and I was drinking a drink that had magnesium. I did not.

• 57:53Matt McCusker?

  Was this recently?

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Literally a near death experience two weeks ago.

• 57:56Matt McCusker?

  For how?

• 57:57Speaker 00

  I'm sorry, just one second.

• 57:58Speaker 01

  You're stealing so much vowel with NDA right there.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Bro, I was there.

• 58:01Speaker 00

  One second, completely off topic, but when you sat down, you plopped down and it reminded me of in tires every single script. Whenever my character sits down, it's like, and then Shane plops on the couch. And after like the ninetieth time, I was like, how come I'm the only one plopping? Everyone else is, what the fuck?

• 58:19Speaker 01

  I'm pulling like a half a G, dude, getting back in my seat.

• 58:21Speaker 00

  Shane plops onto the couch and says, are you gay?

• 58:24Matt McCusker?

  Shane spills into the couch.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  That would fuck, yeah. Yeah, I was like, who the fuck's writing this?

• 58:30Matt McCusker?

  What the hell?

• 58:31Speaker 01

  I mean, is everybody on the set dainty?

• 58:33Speaker 00

  No. But then I think after I brought it up, now everyone plops onto the couch.

• 58:37Matt McCusker?

  That's so fucking funny.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Inclusivity.

• 58:39Speaker 00

  Inclusivity is important.

• 58:41Matt McCusker?

  Plopping is such a crazy word.

• 58:42Speaker 00

  And then Shane comes in the room and plops onto the fucking floor, turd, fat fucking turd idiot. All right.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  Need more.

• 58:51Speaker 00

  Alright, so what were you doing? I'm sorry.

• 58:54Speaker 03

  I didn't realize I was double dosed myself because it was in my multivitamin and my um, my nightly magnesium supplement. I just thought you needed to sleep.

• 59:01Matt McCusker?

  My glycinide or what are you talking?

• 59:03Speaker 03

  It's a complex. It's everything.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  It's a whole family dude.

• 59:08Speaker 00

  The family's.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  There's like, this is just two of them. There's like two, there's like four more of these dudes.

• 59:15Speaker 00

  That are just big dogging each other about fucking supplements.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  I'm not, dude, I'm not big dog.

• 59:20Speaker 00

  Big dog on every single conversation. You go, dude, I don't know if you know about the uh, structural integrity of Scotch Creators. I was in Toronto, a guy told me about the.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  I was just curious. I wouldn't have spud my known.

• 59:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was an example. I was just trying to think of something. That was not, that was not a real big dog. That was not a real big dog. This is big dog. You guys are big dogging on magnesium. And you know you are. This is what you fucking do.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  My ego's at the door.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  It just comes off that way.

• 59:44Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna say no other form of magnesium crosses the blood brain barrier. You need to buy, you need to at least buy glycinide or something else.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  I just had.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  I mean, Tom, Tom, Tom called me the other day. He was like, dude, I'm pretty sure that was the highest dose of peyote ever in Garnet Valley. I'm like, yeah, obviously it was. How was it?

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  Dude, I fucking go to sleep.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  Imagine if you like poured more like money in. Imagine if you had more. Imagine if you were all like multi, multimillionaires. It'd be terrifying.

• 1:00:13Speaker 00

  They would be the craziest group of people.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  Like, cause you're, you're ma- you max out at every, at every chance. Every checkpoint is a max out. So it's like, imagine if you just poured more water on the gremlins, dude, like, there'd be a city somewhere.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  Tom, Tom maxes out. You guys.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  There'd be a city somewhere that's like.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  I didn't, I wasn't doing this purposely.

• 1:00:35Speaker 00

  I'm not trying, hold on, this.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  People don't understand, like, regular people that are listening probably don't understand. Shane understands. He's the only dude that understands what I'm talking about.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  The cross you bear.

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  I love it. It is funny as fuck.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Not a cross, it's hilarious, but nobody can get outside of it.

• 1:00:50Speaker 00

  But then I don't think you guys are joking a lot.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  I'm dead serious.

• 1:00:53Speaker 00

  Like, there's always, there's always a hint of seriousness.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  I'm dead, I must die, dude. You would be eulogizing me right now. I accidentally.

• 1:01:02Matt McCusker?

  What were the symptoms?

• 1:01:05Speaker 00

  I'm not going to your fucking funeral, dude. I have to go to Magoo B's joke house that weekend.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  Literally take it back.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  That's over the line.

• 1:01:13Speaker 00

  I take it back.

• 1:01:15Matt McCusker?

  What were the symptoms?

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  I'll be there. I'll be like a black lady at your funeral. I'll be literally be screaming. I'll be screaming on that cough. They're gonna have to pull me off.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  Dude, just saying, super relatable topic for a podcast. We've all been there. I was in my bed and I started having fucking heart arrhythmias. And my heart was beating like three times in a row.

• 1:01:34Speaker 00

  Without the fucking magnesium.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  I know. But, bro, the fucking problem was like, it was happening so much. I didn't want to say anything to my fucking wife sitting there.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  You need a bender.

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  I was just chill.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  You've never had a bender.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  I was chilling. But, bro, the thing was, I couldn't pin it on the magnesium because I had a monster plate of lasagna. So I was like, not knowing what was going on, but I was literally fucking paralyzed with fear. So I couldn't check my phone. And at that point, I was like, if I die today, it is what it is. I can't look this shit up and freak out more. So I sat there for two hours just having arrhythmias and shortness of breath. I thought it was fucking magnesium, but I did have a fucking monstrous thing of lasagna, few mozzarella balls thrown on top of that.

• 1:02:15Speaker 00

  Obviously. I was hit. I was getting hit with fucking heart murmurs and shit like crazy shit. Thankfully, they've chilled out. I was, I've been to bed for like a decade with like,

• 1:02:28Speaker 00

  whatever the fuck that was.

• 1:02:30Matt McCusker?

  It'll just miss. You'll breathe and you're like, oh, fuck, my heart stopped.

• 1:02:34Speaker 00

  You can't breathe in the whole way.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  I was carrying this pot and I ran up a hill like trying to show off for fed, just fucking around. I got to the top of the hill. It felt like Shane was sitting on my chest. Like I was, I was standing up. It'd be like if all of you guys were like pushing on my chest, like no air.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  I was just like, but I'm standing up and I'm just like, oh.

• 1:02:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was hot as fuck.

• 1:02:54Matt McCusker?

  Can hear.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  Sorry.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  AC probably.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  You open the door, whatever you want to do.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, I thought I was having like a heart attack. I was like, oh, this is what.

• 1:03:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've I've had a couple scares. Wait, so you can't blame it on the magnesium then?

• 1:03:04Speaker 03

  No, the jury's still out, but I'm pretty sure it was magnesium.

• 1:03:07Speaker 00

  Magnesium and probably.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  Like Garfield lasagna. Shit was good as fuck.

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  Speaking of grubbing, I watched Gerby's Gerby's at the Home Run Derby was psychotic, dude. First of all, he's got his.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  Tailored jersey is the craziest.

• 1:03:20Speaker 00

  He has a tailored baseball jersey, so it's it looks like a small T-shirt. The sleeves come up to like here.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  It looks like a greaser.

• 1:03:28Speaker 00

  Crazy.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  There's like a level, I don't know.

• 1:03:30Speaker 00

  He brought.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  I don't know what you call it. Like, what is that?

• 1:03:33Speaker 00

  He brought binoculars in a pouch attached to his khaki shorts. He took out his binoculars, no problem. Just sitting next to us, just.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  What are you looking at?

• 1:03:42Speaker 00

  Exactly. It's a home run derby.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  We're not that far away.

• 1:03:46Speaker 00

  And then he was like, oh, this is my, I'm gonna order a slice of pizza. He ordered a full pizza.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  Wasn't personal pie?

• 1:03:53Speaker 00

  A full pizza. Sat by himself and ate an entire pizza. He usually doesn't. This was.

• 1:03:58Matt McCusker?

  His favorite pie?

• 1:03:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was impressive to watch.

• 1:04:01Matt McCusker?

  Pie was?

• 1:04:02Speaker 00

  Uh, no, I forget.

• 1:04:04Matt McCusker?

  Got me curious now.

• 1:04:06Speaker 00

  He said they only had it here in the beach.

• 1:04:08Matt McCusker?

  Oh, Mac and Mancos?

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  So you guys are in a box?

• 1:04:11Matt McCusker?

  It's got, I think it might be.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  That was going on?

• 1:04:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:13Matt McCusker?

  If it's Mac and Mancos, I almost understand. That's the, was it swirly cheese? Was it swirly sauce?

• 1:04:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:20Matt McCusker?

  That's Mac and Mancos, brother. That's good pie.

• 1:04:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:04:23Matt McCusker?

  It's Mac and Mancos. I'm kinda with him on that. The Mac and Mancos to the head.

• 1:04:27Speaker 00

  It was awesome. It was awesome.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  You're getting into my world right now. This is all I do on YouTube. It's food reviews. And casino reviews and boardwalk walks.

• 1:04:36Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  They was trying to say he could crush a cruise.

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  I could crush a cruise now. When I was younger, I couldn't do it, but now that I realize the beauty of I'm in a hotel on the sea.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  But it's so small. There's no windows in the box.

• 1:04:48Speaker 00

  That would suck ass.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  It would suck.

• 1:04:49Matt McCusker?

  I did a cruise. I did a Royal Caribbean when I was 14. It was, it's kinda lit, honestly.

• 1:04:53Speaker 00

  I think if I was 14.

• 1:04:54Matt McCusker?

  All the soft surface.

• 1:04:55Speaker 00

  14, I could probably handle it.

• 1:04:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  Now I would be furious.

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  It's the Monroe Islands, dude, on the fucking water. The food's trash, bro.

• 1:05:01Matt McCusker?

  What are you talking about? What about the new, there's an English, there's an English cruise for.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Bill, you haven't seen the videos I've seen.

• 1:05:06Matt McCusker?

  New right now.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  You haven't, the Four Seasons has a yacht fucking cruise right now, dude. You don't know there's high end.

• 1:05:13Matt McCusker?

  It sells out right away.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  It's like mega bucks.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  Celebrity X cruise?

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  This is not Celebrity X, stop, enough.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  It's swingers cruises.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Stop.

• 1:05:20Speaker 00

  That's what we're talking about.

• 1:05:21Matt McCusker?

  Guys, not, not big dogging, when I went on the cruise when I was 14, I got to eat dinner with the captain.

• 1:05:26Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 1:05:27Matt McCusker?

  Probably, I don't know why.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  They probably got 16 dudes with captain outfits.

• 1:05:32Matt McCusker?

  It was with my friends' family.

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  It's called grooming.

• 1:05:33Matt McCusker?

  I remember they were, they were like, we're gonna eat dinner with, at the captain's table tonight. And I was like, okay.

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, holy shit.

• 1:05:39Matt McCusker?

  Remember, it's like snuff wine.

• 1:05:40Speaker 03

  He's probably a drunk.

• 1:05:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we were drinking wine. We drank wine. It's cool. You're like walking, all of a sudden you go, whoa, and your legs are.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  Sea legs.

• 1:05:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. But I heard, I heard they're terrible for the coral reefs.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  I mean, it's whatever. I, all I do is watch YouTube videos about it and what it, what it did was it graduated into a swinger.

• 1:05:59Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Rhythm. And I didn't do that myself.

• 1:06:03Matt McCusker?

  You build it.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  Brick by brick.

• 1:06:06Matt McCusker?

  They don't build, they don't build themselves, bro.

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  Somehow you wound up in super deals and fucking swingers algo.

• 1:06:14Matt McCusker?

  You crawled there, bro. Yeah, the cruising swinging thing's a big thing.

• 1:06:17Speaker 00

  You brought that upon yourself.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  It was funny though. We had a good time with it.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, you were warming up to something. You were maybe trying to get wholesome.

• 1:06:24Matt McCusker?

  Swingers, dude.

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 1:06:25Matt McCusker?

  Bless the swingers.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  Give them the wog.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 1:06:27Matt McCusker?

  Get the pill for your mind and body.

• 1:06:29Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:06:29Matt McCusker?

  And bless them, dude.

• 1:06:31Speaker 00

  At sea?

• 1:06:31Speaker 01

  It's a blue shoe gold.

• 1:06:35Speaker 00

  Ship's gonna be rocking, dude.

• 1:06:37Matt McCusker?

  I would, I would like to take that, but with like full medical supervision.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:41Matt McCusker?

  So like take my wife to the hospital, have them hook me up with like John Hopkins.

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  Put the things, the stickers on my head.

• 1:06:48Matt McCusker?

  Stickers on my head and just have them wa, just so I'm totally cool.

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  Blessed right now.

• 1:06:53Matt McCusker?

  And let them watch me fucking just lay mediocre pipe.

• 1:06:59Speaker 00

  Only flexing your ass cheeks. That's the stroke.

• 1:07:03Matt McCusker?

  Just break her off with mid.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:06Speaker 00

  King of that, bro.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  I thought the premature stuff was. I thought the pre, I didn't realize the premature stuff was like this, you know what I mean? When you're young and then when you're old.

• 1:07:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:17Speaker 00

  You hitting pre jacks?

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Oh, wait.

• 1:07:19Speaker 00

  It's that two pump jump.

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  All day long.

• 1:07:22Speaker 00

  Fucking great.

• 1:07:23Matt McCusker?

  Pre jack's not bad.

• 1:07:23Speaker 00

  Pre jack's an accomplishment. You ever get the no jack?

• 1:07:26Matt McCusker?

  On soft. No jack.

• 1:07:27Speaker 00

  No jack's terrible.

• 1:07:28Matt McCusker?

  They get mad at no jack.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  I don't know what that is.

• 1:07:30Speaker 00

  It's alcohol.

• 1:07:32Speaker 05

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• 1:08:16Speaker 05

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• 1:08:31Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 1:08:34Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 1:08:35Speaker 00

  What do you know about Quince?

• 1:08:36Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest, they sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cot, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers, I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 1:08:46Speaker 00

  Well, not everyone wants to spend forever on the perfect look. Quince gets that. It's why they make staple pieces for your wardrobe that go with pretty much anything, They're, uh, they're really easy to style and they feel great to wear because they're also made with premium materials, including, like you said, organic cotton, merino wool. There's even a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at just sixty dollars. That's, I mean, talk about a deal.

• 1:09:12Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 1:09:12Speaker 00

  That's a bargain.

• 1:09:13Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and three hundred sixty-five day returns, now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show.

• 1:09:37Speaker 00

  Doosnojack?

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  Oh, like no comment.

• 1:09:38Speaker 00

  Hit.

• 1:09:40Speaker 03

  No. Alcohol Doosnojack's fair.

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  Spade's on top of the mountain. He's, he skipped the snip.

• 1:09:47Speaker 00

  It's pre.

• 1:09:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I'm just saying, fucking.

• 1:09:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, you look down at us.

• 1:09:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  Who's big dogging us?

• 1:09:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm a huge dick. I come all the time.

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 1:09:57Speaker 00

  Fuck that, dude. I don't want to hear you ever.

• 1:10:00Speaker 03

  You have your full penis, bro.

• 1:10:02Matt McCusker?

  There's some guys out here.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  And I'm sorry.

• 1:10:03Speaker 00

  We're mutilated.

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  We're fucked.

• 1:10:05Speaker 00

  I gotta do cardio just to get it up. I gotta swim a mile a day.

• 1:10:11Speaker 00

  I'm basically pumping it. I might as well have a pump in my balls.

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  They have that.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  They have that for the girls, yeah.

• 1:10:15Speaker 00

  I know.

• 1:10:16Speaker 01

  The trans.

• 1:10:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:17Speaker 03

  They have for grownups.

• 1:10:18Speaker 00

  Guys, porn stars do it too, apparently.

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:10:20Speaker 00

  Yeah. Dude, any porn star you see, apparently that's not, it's never a natural boner. Not a single one.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Dude, I think dudes just say that shit to make themselves feel better.

• 1:10:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  These are guys in the industry.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  Sounds like a red.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  Professional sex hat.

• 1:10:32Speaker 03

  Bill, I watch, I watch Soft White Horny Belly.

• 1:10:34Speaker 01

  Sounds like a crazy cold cobra.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Mark Liotta has to fucking calm down with that shit.

• 1:10:39Speaker 00

  What, what exactly?

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  Soft White Horny Belly. All of his shit is like fucking glory hole girl porn actress. Like dude, just literally.

• 1:10:46Matt McCusker?

  You have the world, you could interview anyone. Did you ever see, did you ever see when he, I don't know if this is, I'm not Nishma again right now, but one time, one time he uh.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  I mean, that's literally what you're known for.

• 1:10:58Matt McCusker?

  He put this prostitute up.

• 1:11:00Speaker 00

  He was the king.

• 1:11:04Speaker 00

  I hit him with my one Nishma on the way here, which was flags.

• 1:11:09Speaker 00

  Autistically, straight down the line.

• 1:11:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you just know them all.

• 1:11:12Speaker 00

  You know what hurt? I was bragging about my trivia to somebody. I was sitting there showing them and I was like, dude, I get this. I get this. Walk outside, there's a kid, you know, you know, the people that do like sign up for shit, the people that just stand.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  In the vast.

• 1:11:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. And this kid just comes up to me and goes.

• 1:11:29Speaker 00

  Can you name a state that ends with the letter K? And I was like. There's not, there's.

• 1:11:36Matt McCusker?

  That quick? That one, that one gets people.

• 1:11:38Speaker 00

  Can you?

• 1:11:39Matt McCusker?

  New York.

• 1:11:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. And he was like, you've been there. And I was in New York and I was like. What? What the fuck are you talking about? That he was like, it's New York. And I was like, I have to leave.

• 1:11:51Speaker 00

  I was also thrown off. I thought I was getting interviewed. I thought there was a camera.

• 1:11:54Speaker 01

  I was just making up words in my head, like.

• 1:11:57Matt McCusker?

  Kentucky. When I first confronted this, I was like, Arkansas ends with an S. So nah, there's not one. And then eventually I, I yeah, I spazzed on that one too.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  I had a dream.

• 1:12:07Matt McCusker?

  I just said that came up somehow, somewhere. And I was like, oh, oh.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  Man, I had a dream that in the Great Lakes, if you were like, I wa, I don't know what I watched that like had this happen to me. But if you were like in the Great Lakes around Lake Erie and like Lake Michigan and shit, if you looked above it, there was Norway. And I had a dream that that was real and I had a bit that I had it wrong my whole life. And I lived like a whole day thinking like, damn, I figured that out. And then I saw a map again and I was like, oh shit. Yeah, no one could understand.

• 1:12:38Matt McCusker?

  Like they were like.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  I thought like, I like nor, where Canada was. And I don't know, it's probably World Cup clips I saw that like got this going on in my head. But like for a whole day, I was like, man, that's crazy. Fucking Norway's right there.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  We can go to, we can go to Norway whenever we want. What are we doing? What are we doing, dude? It's not that far away.

• 1:13:03Matt McCusker?

  Read a book one time that was like a full, what is it fiction? Like completely not real.

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  Nonfiction, I always get that confused. But Sid Reddick thought it was fucking real the whole time, then finished it, looked it up and it was fake.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  For a hundred pages. For a hundred pages.

• 1:13:19Speaker 03

  He was actually getting scared.

• 1:13:23Matt McCusker?

  Do you remember what it was?

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  It's called Jenny Flatt, it's by Tracy Twyman.

• 1:13:26Matt McCusker?

  What happened in it?

• 1:13:27Speaker 01

  I got, she was doing like, she was like invited to these like weird like prime minister like level British Masonic rituals. And then I was like, dude, this is fucking nuts.

• 1:13:40Matt McCusker?

  Oh, but dude, the horny one underbelly, he, or whatever's where you're going, he did one.

• 1:13:45Speaker 03

  You're kind of pretty.

• 1:13:46Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he interviewed a prostitute who was pretty hot, obviously. And, uh, and he, you know, asked her all the questions and then he eventually like got her an apartment, helping her to get her act together. And she had been lying the whole time because he was like, he had her on.

• 1:14:00Speaker 03

  Much like the Whitakers.

• 1:14:01Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he had her on and he was like, hey, welcome back. And he's like, turns out you were lying about a couple of things. Dude, he, he had a key to her apartment. So he was like, I just thought it was weird. Like you said, you're out of town, the lights are on. So I just stopped by. I had to use the bathroom anyway. And there was a fucking guy in there and she.

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  He ended up getting like a weird young girlfriend from this.

• 1:14:19Matt McCusker?

  Bro, she, she was, she was having sex with her half brother this entire time.

• 1:14:24Speaker 03

  Many such cases.

• 1:14:25Matt McCusker?

  And he was, he was just laughing, texting like bitch ass, pussy ass, fucking tricked your ass. I got all that money bitch.

• 1:14:32Speaker 03

  It's kind of nice.

• 1:14:32Matt McCusker?

  They started having both of them on.

• 1:14:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Whitakers got like money and stuff and then he got pissed because they start misusing funds. It's like, dude, have you looked at Timmy and Ray?

• 1:14:44Speaker 03

  Timmy got scared by a shovel falling on the ground. You think these people are going to use the funds properly? Don't even know what money is.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  It kills me that I think like to some people, I'm a Whitaker. And you know that.

• 1:14:56Matt McCusker?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  There's elite people, there's elite, elite people that would look at us as Whitakers, dude.

• 1:15:01Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  For real.

• 1:15:03Matt McCusker?

  They would try.

• 1:15:04Speaker 03

  Bro, you're talking about like Palladians.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  I'm telling you, dude, like.

• 1:15:07Speaker 03

  You have to be like a fucking alien race. Like Whitakers are fucked up, bro.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  Bro, I'm telling you.

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  Timmy and Ray are jam.

• 1:15:14Speaker 01

  King Charles thinks we're Whitakers, dude.

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  King Charles has fat ass hands. Ever see his pictures?

• 1:15:20Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 1:15:21Speaker 03

  He mocks me.

• 1:15:23Speaker 03

  He's got venison hands, bro. He crushes my hands.

• 1:15:27Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:15:27Speaker 03

  Like actual, like, looks like a hamburger helper.

• 1:15:31Matt McCusker?

  Who, which one's Prince Charles?

• 1:15:32Speaker 03

  Charlie Boy, he's the king right now.

• 1:15:33Matt McCusker?

  Okay, he's the king. Got you. Not Edward. I'm thinking of Edward. Now, who's the guy Andrew? I'm thinking of Andrew.

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  Prince Andrew.

• 1:15:38Matt McCusker?

  Naughty boy.

• 1:15:40Speaker 03

  He's a party.

• 1:15:40Matt McCusker?

  What's up with him? He just got, he got completely cut off?

• 1:15:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was having sex with minors.

• 1:15:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:46Speaker 03

  They were like, yeah, we gotta, you can't really fuck around.

• 1:15:48Matt McCusker?

  He's out. He's out. He's out of the picture.

• 1:15:50Speaker 03

  Trying to hit a, I don't sweat. Fucking excuse.

• 1:15:53Matt McCusker?

  He was, he was.

• 1:15:54Speaker 00

  I don't sweat's awesome.

• 1:15:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he was on his toes. He was on his toes.

• 1:15:57Speaker 01

  I was at Pizza Palace all time.

• 1:16:02Matt McCusker?

  Also to him, you gotta think like.

• 1:16:03Speaker 03

  How annoying that probably is getting in trouble if you're a fucking royal. Like, that blows.

• 1:16:08Matt McCusker?

  Dude.

• 1:16:08Speaker 03

  Like, get in trouble your whole life.

• 1:16:09Matt McCusker?

  I was, I kept laughing when he was in jail for like 10 minutes. He, the first guy to get Prince bussy is gonna be nuts.

• 1:16:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:16Matt McCusker?

  Someone, he got right out, but dude, imagine.

• 1:16:18Speaker 03

  No one's touching.

• 1:16:18Matt McCusker?

  He's the first prince in jail since like 1100.

• 1:16:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:22Speaker 00

  He's like the man in the iron mask.

• 1:16:27Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, no, he, uh, I don't know. He, he, honestly, for him though, hookers were like porn for him. He would probably just be like, yeah, what, I'm bored of this kind of.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  Those dudes get to a level where it's like, not even hookers.

• 1:16:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:39Speaker 01

  It's like, they don't even like hookers. They want ones that don't want it.

• 1:16:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  Kind of they take it.

• 1:16:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  If you like what you see, you take it.

• 1:16:46Speaker 01

  It's dark stuff.

• 1:16:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  That's royalty, bro. That's what they're up to.

• 1:16:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Nonsense. Yeah, so anyway, what else is going on?

• 1:16:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:57Matt McCusker?

  Shows will be crazy tomorrow.

• 1:16:59Speaker 00

  That's all I'm thinking about. I can't think about a single other thing.

• 1:17:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, you look like you just got back from Nam, bro.

• 1:17:04Speaker 00

  You have no idea, Bill. I fucked up. This was a huge mistake.

• 1:17:07Matt McCusker?

  Ah, it's a mean.

• 1:17:08Speaker 03

  I mean, how many beers would you have before the show?

• 1:17:11Speaker 00

  How many beers will I have before this? This feels like a four or five one.

• 1:17:15Speaker 03

  I think four or five to go out there, you're almost like.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  Four is money. Four is perfect.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  That would be.

• 1:17:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  Four is the best.

• 1:17:23Matt McCusker?

  Four, four is a foot in each world. You have a foot in each world.

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, 10.

• 1:17:28Speaker 00

  The arena shows is usually two or three.

• 1:17:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:30Speaker 00

  This is gonna be.

• 1:17:31Speaker 03

  Four or five, you'd be fucking chill.

• 1:17:32Speaker 00

  Five.

• 1:17:33Speaker 03

  Everyone be pumped up. They'll probably just be running on adrenaline. Simple. Just go out there and don't think about it.

• 1:17:39Speaker 00

  My chest is tight.

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  Stay away from lasagna night, dude. You gotta eat clean before the show.

• 1:17:45Matt McCusker?

  Eat clean, watch your magnesium. Like, listen, that's fine. Watch the citrate. It's more physical symptoms.

• 1:17:51Speaker 03

  It's like when he lost your vision at Matt's bachelor party.

• 1:17:54Speaker 00

  It's gonna be up there.

• 1:17:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but if you come out and just shake up the bud and just go

• 1:18:00Matt McCusker?

  the place is gonna go nuts.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  That'd be sick. That'd be a sick move, dude. Do that.

• 1:18:03Speaker 00

  That.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  That'd be nice.

• 1:18:05Speaker 00

  I told you, I just got one move. I'm just gonna say boom, boom, boom.

• 1:18:10Speaker 03

  That's why Kid Rock had fucking his boy.

• 1:18:13Speaker 00

  True.

• 1:18:14Speaker 03

  That's what you need.

• 1:18:14Matt McCusker?

  The what?

• 1:18:15Speaker 03

  Kid, who's Kid Rock's boy? JT or?

• 1:18:18Speaker 00

  The?

• 1:18:18Speaker 01

  The midget?

• 1:18:19Speaker 03

  The midget, yeah.

• 1:18:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  I forget his name. It was JT.

• 1:18:22Speaker 00

  Do we have any?

• 1:18:23Matt McCusker?

  It wasn't JT.

• 1:18:24Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 1:18:26Matt McCusker?

  What was the midget's name? That's gonna fucking kill me.

• 1:18:27Speaker 03

  He dressed Spade in Fubo.

• 1:18:31Speaker 03

  Give him a shape up before we go out.

• 1:18:34Speaker 00

  I gotta be on whatever Big Jay's on. He's, um, whatever. He's on it. Uh, he's doesn't care.

• 1:18:41Speaker 03

  Oh, like, what are those called, Spade?

• 1:18:43Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 1:18:43Speaker 03

  Robert Downey Jr. Takes them?

• 1:18:45Speaker 00

  Like, beta blockers.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  Oh, beta blockers, yeah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 00

  Maybe he's on beta blockers.

• 1:18:47Speaker 03

  I don't know how you would do that, though.

• 1:18:48Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna fucking risk that. I've never done it.

• 1:18:50Matt McCusker?

  Well, apparently, so.

• 1:18:51Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna try it there.

• 1:18:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's the thing.

• 1:18:53Speaker 00

  I'm gonna go try and do a couple Bud Lights.

• 1:18:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's a real beta blocker.

• 1:18:56Speaker 00

  It should work.

• 1:18:57Matt McCusker?

  Well, the beta blockers, they're saying they're the most widely prescribed thing in the world. Like, they're totally, I've had people pitch me on them and I'm like, nah, man.

• 1:19:04Speaker 00

  I don't wanna do that.

• 1:19:05Matt McCusker?

  I'll, they're like, you literally can't freak out on them. Like, I will find a way, trust me.

• 1:19:09Speaker 00

  Also, that's, I need to be able to freak out.

• 1:19:11Matt McCusker?

  I think so, too.

• 1:19:12Speaker 00

  I need to be able to be onstage fighting that.

• 1:19:13Speaker 03

  Ride the light.

• 1:19:14Matt McCusker?

  I think so, too.

• 1:19:15Speaker 00

  If I'm up there like, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna say the worst.

• 1:19:18Matt McCusker?

  Like, your heart can't reach over a certain heart, like, level of heartbeat. So if you're on them, it like.

• 1:19:23Speaker 03

  It sounds like psych meds.

• 1:19:25Speaker 00

  It is.

• 1:19:25Matt McCusker?

  They kind of are like light psych meds. You just can't, your heart just won't go that fast.

• 1:19:29Speaker 03

  If you did it on beta blockers, you'd probably hijack the big screen and put on YouTube's.

• 1:19:33Speaker 00

  That would be a sick fucking show.

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  Check this out.

• 1:19:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, watch.

• 1:19:35Speaker 03

  He's my favorite YouTube.

• 1:19:36Speaker 00

  Forty-five minute Midwest safety video. We're gonna watch it.

• 1:19:39Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that would be kind of sick, honestly.

• 1:19:41Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 1:19:41Matt McCusker?

  That would be pretty nasty, dude. What time do they kick everybody out? There's gotta be like time.

• 1:19:46Speaker 00

  Uh, I don't know. We'll be all right, though.

• 1:19:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:49Speaker 00

  With time. It's not that long of a show.

• 1:19:51Speaker 03

  Ever see a House of the Holy cover for Led Zeppelin?

• 1:19:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  Something like that. Everyone's leaving just crawling up.

• 1:19:56Matt McCusker?

  Naked butts crawling.

• 1:20:00Matt McCusker?

  The pass out rate's gonna be crazy.

• 1:20:01Speaker 00

  Pass out rates can be out of control.

• 1:20:02Matt McCusker?

  One out of a hundred pass out rate, I would say.

• 1:20:04Speaker 00

  It's gonna be so many people.

• 1:20:05Speaker 03

  You gotta, you gotta, um.

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  You'll be looking if there's no death.

• 1:20:09Speaker 03

  You got a video on a fucking, um.

• 1:20:11Matt McCusker?

  True point.

• 1:20:11Speaker 03

  On the, on the crowd? Cameras on the crowd? Bro, that turns into Wing Bowl. You ever been to Wing Bowl? You have?

• 1:20:17Speaker 00

  No, but like.

• 1:20:18Speaker 01

  You watched, you watched the hot dog contest?

• 1:20:21Speaker 03

  Never.

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:20:22Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I was, I was just talking to Tom about Wings to Go. Their wing, they had like their sauce levels. It was, it was homicide, suicide, homicide, genocide.

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:33Matt McCusker?

  That used to be Wings to Go sauce.

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  That's how we used to be able to talk, man.

• 1:20:36Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  They took that away from us.

• 1:20:38Matt McCusker?

  I know, he used to be a little, like, I'll have a, let me throw some genocide.

• 1:20:41Speaker 00

  A dozen genocides.

• 1:20:42Matt McCusker?

  Genocides and a suicide just for me.

• 1:20:45Speaker 00

  First I'm done with the genocide. And they're surrounding my bunker.

• 1:20:49Matt McCusker?

  Homicides and some suicides.

• 1:20:51Speaker 00

  So I put a cyanide cap in my dog's mouth.

• 1:20:56Speaker 00

  I say, goodbye, Blondie.

• 1:20:57Matt McCusker?

  Yes, they have the basketball coach, like, guys, run some suicides.

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:01Matt McCusker?

  You know?

• 1:21:02Speaker 03

  Well, you're not allowed to say that. And they don't know.

• 1:21:04Speaker 00

  Gassers.

• 1:21:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, eggnog gassers.

• 1:21:06Speaker 00

  We ran gassers.

• 1:21:07Speaker 01

  Gassers.

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  There were, um, have you, like.

• 1:21:11Speaker 00

  Then you run a blitz.

• 1:21:13Matt McCusker?

  It's true.

• 1:21:13Speaker 00

  For real.

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  It's crazy how many were, and if I think about it.

• 1:21:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  All the sports.

• 1:21:18Matt McCusker?

  All roads, all roads.

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  It's almost like we merged with them.

• 1:21:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:22Speaker 00

  Libs, I've seen some, I've seen some libs hitting sports are fascist.

• 1:21:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:21:26Speaker 00

  That's like one of the things.

• 1:21:27Matt McCusker?

  But not soccer?

• 1:21:27Speaker 00

  It's like, no, that's fascist too.

• 1:21:29Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 1:21:29Speaker 00

  Worrying about individual.

• 1:21:30Speaker 01

  Libs love the world.

• 1:21:31Speaker 00

  You don't wanna win. Winning is like, it's like sports should be about fun.

• 1:21:35Speaker 03

  That's the hardest cope ever.

• 1:21:36Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 1:21:37Speaker 03

  I mean, the minute you get out there.

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  Sports are about fun and then you get cut from the team. And all the dudes that are on the team, they think sports is about winning.

• 1:21:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, those fucking jerks. They're fascists.

• 1:21:49Matt McCusker?

  Fucking dumb girls keep fucking all the guys on the team assholes fascist bitches.

• 1:21:57Matt McCusker?

  Fascist enablers don't they know they're fucking oppressed by the same system?

• 1:22:00Speaker 03

  The kids don't even play jackpot anymore.

• 1:22:02Matt McCusker?

  What's jackpot?

• 1:22:03Speaker 03

  Like you would everyone at recess, one guy would throw the ball to the group of dudes, you'd be like 500.

• 1:22:08Speaker 00

  We played it, we played it at a beach trip.

• 1:22:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, now it's just called moss. So the minute you moss someone, then you get the ball.

• 1:22:15Matt McCusker?

  Wait, why can't you just call it jackpot?

• 1:22:16Speaker 03

  They just call it moss. I don't know. I'm just saying times are changing.

• 1:22:18Matt McCusker?

  Times are changing. Cause I've been seeing some kids.

• 1:22:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:21Matt McCusker?

  Smear the queer was the best.

• 1:22:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was crazy.

• 1:22:23Matt McCusker?

  Smear the queer, but yeah, I see kids play jackpot in the pool near my house.

• 1:22:26Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:22:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:27Speaker 00

  Jackpot in the pool is so fun.

• 1:22:28Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty awesome.

• 1:22:29Speaker 00

  Can't wait. We're gonna do that soon.

• 1:22:31Matt McCusker?

  Ah, but I can't wait. I lost my wedding ring playing jackpot last time I went to the beach. Just flew off my hand.

• 1:22:36Speaker 03

  That was crazy. What did you roll with afterwards?

• 1:22:38Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 1:22:39Speaker 03

  Rubber?

• 1:22:40Matt McCusker?

  Didn't have one. I just didn't have them for a while.

• 1:22:41Speaker 03

  That's fucking so sad.

• 1:22:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, didn't have one. I don't give a fuck. Sometimes I don't wear it all day and I just go, I don't give a fuck. Whatever happens, happens.

• 1:22:49Matt McCusker?

  Everything fucking happens, happens.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  Sick LARP.

• 1:22:51Matt McCusker?

  You can't wear it.

• 1:22:51Speaker 01

  For however long it goes on.

• 1:22:52Matt McCusker?

  And honestly, I do feel weird without it all and I do feel kinda like.

• 1:22:56Speaker 01

  Free?

• 1:22:56Speaker 00

  Feel like you're up to something.

• 1:22:57Matt McCusker?

  I kinda do.

• 1:22:58Speaker 01

  Like Toby.

• 1:22:59Speaker 00

  No, he don't.

• 1:23:00Matt McCusker?

  I am. I or I'll like forget it. I'll go, I'll leave for the weekend to do stand up and I'll be on stage and I'll, I'll try to preface it. I'll be like, I'm not trying to get pussy. I just forgot my ring and people are like, okay, dude, I bet you calm down. I'm like, just kidding guys. I thought it was a funny joke.

• 1:23:11Speaker 00

  It's clearly funny.

• 1:23:12Matt McCusker?

  Geez, sorry, Stardome. Thought you guys had a fucking sense of humor here and fucking hell down.

• 1:23:17Speaker 00

  That's the worst. The thing you're like, this will be funny. This is a personal thing about me right now.

• 1:23:21Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 1:23:21Speaker 00

  The crowd's just.

• 1:23:22Matt McCusker?

  Ew.

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  Staring at you.

• 1:23:23Speaker 00

  Yo, hey everyone, I just had diarrhea before I came out here.

• 1:23:26Speaker 01

  Say the thing we want to hear.

• 1:23:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:28Speaker 03

  Do Trump asshole.

• 1:23:29Matt McCusker?

  I had retired.

• 1:23:31Speaker 00

  Drop right now. No one gives a fuck.

• 1:23:34Matt McCusker?

  I had a, I had to retire, um, the eating babies joke. I had to retire. People just don't like it.

• 1:23:39Speaker 01

  You were the eating babies joke?

• 1:23:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was, I thought it was a poignant observation.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  Hit me, hit me with it.

• 1:23:43Matt McCusker?

  Podcast.

• 1:23:44Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:23:44Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:23:45Speaker 03

  Where?

• 1:23:45Speaker 00

  The link.

• 1:23:46Matt McCusker?

  The link.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  Give me a little taste.

• 1:23:48Matt McCusker?

  It, it absolutely ruins the vibe. So.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Alright, I'm the audience, give me a.

• 1:23:53Matt McCusker?

  Okay, so I'm going out there. I go, hey, you know, blah, blah, blah. Fuck his birthday. I'll fucking give it for you. I don't give a fuck. Whatever crushes every time and then and then I say, you know, I say, look, the world is Kind of designed in like a scary fucked up way. And I say, hey, have you ever eaten veal? And they go, the crowd goes, yeah, I've eaten veal. You know what it is? He go, yeah, it's baby cow. Kind of fucked up. And I go, you know, lamb. They go, oh, yeah, baby sheep. And I go, so you know what? If you were to do a human being, who would be the most delicious option? And I started and they go, oh, no, I go, yeah, ba- babies would be according to nature, the way it's designed. Babies are the most delicious. And I was like, if you think about it, it would be, you know, it's kind of fucked up to think about. It's kind of like they see their arm pop out of a lobster pot, you fucking little pink little arm. Crash it down. No. So they don't like that. So I retired it.

• 1:24:38Speaker 01

  I mean, I watched a video today, not to debunk your joke, but like, I watched a video today in Uganda. There's a town of cannibalists that believe in wizards and cannibals. And they say that all humans, no matter what age, taste the same.

• 1:24:50Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:24:51Speaker 00

  Deboot.

• 1:24:52Matt McCusker?

  Maybe I can bring that to the stage.

• 1:24:53Speaker 01

  You can bring that to the stage.

• 1:24:54Matt McCusker?

  Say, guys, I'm just kidding. All humans taste equally delicious.

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  Because these guys in Uganda, they know.

• 1:24:59Matt McCusker?

  Really? So you're saying a baby doesn't taste any better?

• 1:25:00Speaker 00

  That can't be true.

• 1:25:01Speaker 01

  They grow up learning that there's wizards.

• 1:25:03Speaker 00

  A lot of people that would taste.

• 1:25:05Matt McCusker?

  You don't think a baby's A5 wagyu?

• 1:25:07Speaker 01

  Talk to these guys in Uganda. They live in a town. It's called Rakel.

• 1:25:10Matt McCusker?

  Rakel?

• 1:25:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:11Speaker 03

  Taco Bell's end of life cows allegedly.

• 1:25:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I heard about that.

• 1:25:15Speaker 00

  They're great.

• 1:25:16Speaker 03

  While supposedly there's a diarrhea outbreak from, and they're trying.

• 1:25:18Speaker 00

  From Taco Bell?

• 1:25:19Speaker 03

  No, no, they're trying to.

• 1:25:20Speaker 00

  Breaking news.

• 1:25:22Speaker 03

  They're trying to say that their, their salad or whatever, like their lettuce and shit is because there's Mexicans who are shitting on the crops. And then I looked into it. There was like videos from when Mexicans first came over here. They're like, please shit anywhere but the crops, but they keep shitting on the crops when they're.

• 1:25:36Speaker 00

  Well, they're out there.

• 1:25:37Speaker 03

  They're out there in the woods.

• 1:25:38Speaker 00

  They're not gonna walk back.

• 1:25:39Speaker 03

  I know. So like supposedly this outbreak is literally from Mexicans dumping on fucking crops. Have you ever driven through Yuma?

• 1:25:47Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:25:47Speaker 03

  Obviously.

• 1:25:48Speaker 00

  Never took the three ten?

• 1:25:49Speaker 03

  Me and Spay were on three ten.

• 1:25:50Matt McCusker?

  Well, you see, you see someone shitting on the crops?

• 1:25:51Speaker 03

  The lettuce farms, dude, and it's all Mexicano's, the whole thing.

• 1:25:55Matt McCusker?

  They're shitting on the lettuce out there?

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  I don't see a lot of porolets.

• 1:25:57Speaker 00

  Bro, if you're out there, there's no way you're walking three miles back to a fucking shed.

• 1:26:01Speaker 03

  We were in fucking Date County.

• 1:26:03Speaker 01

  Think about the heat and then the itching and the burning.

• 1:26:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's probably liquid, bro.

• 1:26:09Matt McCusker?

  When they first come here too.

• 1:26:10Speaker 01

  You ever just not even wipe right and have to work the rest of the day?

• 1:26:12Matt McCusker?

  Dude, our diet wrecks fucking Mexicans. When they first come here, the food crushes them.

• 1:26:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:17Matt McCusker?

  I audibly witnessed a guy who had just been here for two weeks dump in, he worked in Tom's Taco Truck. And I took him into this like place in Drexel's campus and I was like, yo, I was like, where's the bathroom? I peed and like, it's right there. He's like, no, no, no, no. Hit the toilet. It was like. It was, and I was like, god damn it, mom.

• 1:26:39Matt McCusker?

  I sat on the outside of stall like, god damn, Ramon, what the fuck is that?

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  Every summer we get the lads painting, they come over here and you go, damn, that's what we're supposed to look like? They're all like Gaelic football players and shit, all warmups Adidas after like a summer, dude.

• 1:26:52Matt McCusker?

  Oh, the Irish guys.

• 1:26:53Speaker 01

  A summer, a wah wah, bro. Done.

• 1:26:55Matt McCusker?

  They're fried.

• 1:26:56Speaker 01

  They're, they look like the rest of us.

• 1:26:57Matt McCusker?

  They become white trash.

• 1:26:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:59Matt McCusker?

  It's become.

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  Rest of these dick, what?

• 1:27:03Speaker 00

  Couple of haggies. Next thing you know.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  It's too addictive. You just go through the screen.

• 1:27:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, shit rocks.

• 1:27:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:09Speaker 03

  Mac and cheese.

• 1:27:11Speaker 00

  A mac and cheese for me.

• 1:27:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, we were in, we went back in the day, we would go to Florida for Easter and we're in Dade County. My dad got a haircut from like Dominicans in the hood. It was fucking crazy.

• 1:27:22Speaker 01

  Random haircut is so nuts.

• 1:27:23Speaker 03

  Dude, we're going.

• 1:27:24Speaker 00

  I got hit with that.

• 1:27:25Speaker 03

  Bro, we're going by a like literally almost a plantation.

• 1:27:29Speaker 01

  No need to do that.

• 1:27:31Speaker 00

  My first special, I panicked the day before. Got ripped with a fucking nasty Dominican.

• 1:27:38Speaker 00

  Dude, the bangs, put oil in the bangs and curled them.

• 1:27:41Speaker 03

  Dude, my dad, my dad went and was like, fuck yeah, that's a good haircut. Bill, let's go. I'm getting you a haircut. Brought me and got one on our way back.

• 1:27:49Speaker 00

  Your dad had matching fucking fades.

• 1:27:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, pretty much.

• 1:27:53Matt McCusker?

  We all get the same haircut as our dad, by the way. All of us get the exact same haircut.

• 1:27:57Speaker 03

  On the way home, we're going by like literally like an orange farm and my dad is, oh, it's like I'm gonna pull out, there's a smash box right there. It's 98 degrees and he took a shit in the fucking porta potty that was like, dude, it was probably breached. Like I've been in fucking scrap yards before up in Absco, up in fucking North Philly, where there was a, just a fucking abandoned porta potty next to the scale. And I was like, I gotta fucking piss, dude. And it was literally perfectly diamond up top and just dry. It didn't even smell.

• 1:28:27Matt McCusker?

  Out of water or over?

• 1:28:28Speaker 03

  There was no water.

• 1:28:29Speaker 01

  Didn't even smell. It's crazy.

• 1:28:30Speaker 03

  It was so old. It was just a breached.

• 1:28:34Matt McCusker?

  It was like a riverbank on Mars.

• 1:28:36Speaker 03

  It was fucking crazy. I walked in there. I was like, God damn, that's crazy. And then I just fucking rolled.

• 1:28:42Matt McCusker?

  Did you pee? Wait, did you reactivate? Did you pee on it?

• 1:28:45Speaker 03

  I didn't fucking reactivate that, dude.

• 1:28:47Speaker 00

  You gotta pee on it.

• 1:28:47Matt McCusker?

  Where'd you pee?

• 1:28:48Speaker 03

  I went fucking under, under ninety-five.

• 1:28:51Matt McCusker?

  You didn't fucking pee in there?

• 1:28:53Speaker 03

  Bro, that's foul.

• 1:28:53Speaker 00

  You gotta pee on the breach, dude. It's the eighth grade science.

• 1:28:57Speaker 03

  I would have got like fucking some disease, bro.

• 1:29:00Matt McCusker?

  Mummy's curse.

• 1:29:00Speaker 03

  It literally didn't smell.

• 1:29:04Speaker 03

  I swear to God, that shit.

• 1:29:06Matt McCusker?

  Was this a Mexican in there like this?

• 1:29:09Speaker 03

  Have you ever seen the Mexican aliens?

• 1:29:13Speaker 03

  They're like papier-mache fucking three foot aliens.

• 1:29:16Speaker 01

  That was great.

• 1:29:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, that shit was.

• 1:29:18Speaker 01

  That came and went. There was no.

• 1:29:20Speaker 03

  Like the Indian moon landing, also hilarious.

• 1:29:22Matt McCusker?

  What was the Indian moon landing?

• 1:29:23Speaker 03

  Indian moon landing looks like a deleted scene from the Star Wars.

• 1:29:28Matt McCusker?

  They're on the control panel, like, there is no bobs up there. Bring it back. This is zero bobs.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  It's like sixteen bit.

• 1:29:33Matt McCusker?

  It's really so.

• 1:29:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's Star Fox. Star Fox, dude, it's space. It's crazy.

• 1:29:38Speaker 03

  It really does look like an old video game. It's crazy. They tried to pull that. Just like, dude, just don't go to space. You guys have fucking everything else.

• 1:29:45Speaker 01

  You don't have the gear.

• 1:29:46Matt McCusker?

  Space? They, they, wait, so did they actually go? Or do you think it's cap?

• 1:29:50Speaker 03

  No, dude.

• 1:29:51Speaker 01

  There's no way.

• 1:29:54Matt McCusker?

  So they capped about the moon?

• 1:29:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:56Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's really beautiful. Oh, they're not lying. It's very beautiful, the moon.

• 1:30:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:06Matt McCusker?

  Yes, a very beautiful moon.

• 1:30:08Speaker 03

  They are.

• 1:30:08Speaker 00

  That fucking Houston, that call center must be nuts. Fifteen guys go, have you tried pressing this?

• 1:30:17Speaker 00

  Give me this, I'll respond with a gift card. Give me five hundred dollars.

• 1:30:22Speaker 03

  We have a problem.

• 1:30:23Speaker 01

  Hollywood Apollo thirteen.

• 1:30:24Matt McCusker?

  They call Michigan troll every time it goes boop. And they come up, hello? Hello, sir.

• 1:30:34Matt McCusker?

  We're coming to the atmosphere, we're crashing. Calm down buddy, don't come in and calm down buddy.

• 1:30:41Speaker 00

  Fuck you buddy. Dude, I got hit with the outgo of.

• 1:30:44Speaker 01

  Fuck you buddy. Fuck you buddy.

• 1:30:47Matt McCusker?

  Fuck me, I'll fuck you.

• 1:30:50Speaker 00

  The outgo of dudes bothering 7-Eleven guys, have you been hit with this? Too easy.

• 1:30:54Speaker 01

  As rage bait.

• 1:30:56Speaker 00

  They rage bait the Indian bros.

• 1:30:58Matt McCusker?

  Oh god.

• 1:30:58Speaker 00

  Indian bros always go in the back, get the big stick, come out.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  He always sends me shit dude, it's all rage bait.

• 1:31:04Matt McCusker?

  Now that you said that, I have seen those guys.

• 1:31:05Speaker 00

  They tickle the guys.

• 1:31:06Matt McCusker?

  They're always going to go, do you ever see a guy walks in and one of those goes, ah! Don't do this.

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  So aggressive bro.

• 1:31:14Matt McCusker?

  I'll call 119.

• 1:31:16Speaker 00

  Don't do this. He goes, I'm here to work for my, it's my first day.

• 1:31:20Speaker 00

  Don't do this.

• 1:31:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, who are you?

• 1:31:23Speaker 00

  Get all 119 on him. I watch that shit like. They come in, they order an energy drink, they crack it open, they drink it, they go, I don't want this.

• 1:31:31Speaker 01

  Little rain bet. Real quick rain bet.

• 1:31:36Speaker 00

  It's so bad. It is me, it's me. No, they deserve every ounce of it dude.

• 1:31:40Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:31:40Speaker 00

  They ruined my fucking phone.

• 1:31:42Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, not the guys at work at.

• 1:31:44Matt McCusker?

  Not the guys in 7-Eleven. On the front fucking line.

• 1:31:46Speaker 01

  You're just being racist.

• 1:31:47Speaker 00

  Hurt people, hurt people. No, they got me, they made me change my fucking phone, I was getting 130 calls a day. We had to, they're scam.

• 1:31:55Speaker 01

  You were saying, can I talk to a white man?

• 1:31:58Speaker 00

  Gets them mad every time. I fucking did this. Dude, they are fucking scamming out old people. I told Spade that before, he's like, why are you so mean to them? I'm like, bro, they're literally scamming old people.

• 1:32:08Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:32:09Speaker 00

  I have to, but they won the battle. I'm done.

• 1:32:11Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 1:32:12Speaker 00

  They put their flag in my phone number.

• 1:32:13Matt McCusker?

  Let's fire, it's fire back up. I love fucking with those guys.

• 1:32:18Speaker 00

  I used to call and they would say, what's your name? I'd be like, it's a weird name, it's uh, H U G H, uh, and last name is J A N U S, like Hugh Janus. Fuck you, you bloody motherfucker.

• 1:32:32Speaker 00

  Hugh Janus would work every time. I love it.

• 1:32:35Matt McCusker?

  Fire up the old phone.

• 1:32:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, 69 Ballsack Avenue, that would get him.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  They would go Zip Code, he'd just go 69, 69, 69.

• 1:32:46Speaker 01

  That's rage bait.

• 1:32:47Matt McCusker?

  Now, the best is when you keep them over three minutes, they go, okay, I'm ready to sign, uh, and what is, so, oh, real quick, before I do this, I'm gonna fuck your mom. Oh, fuck you buddy, I fucked my mom, fuck you.

• 1:32:58Speaker 00

  They would get me for Matt having.

• 1:32:59Speaker 03

  Delinquent shit and it was an old I had Spade on the phone with me and she's like where's your brother? I was like, I don't know. I don't know where the fuck he's at. I think he's dead. And she's like, you ain't nothing but a little jitterbug. It was like some southern.

• 1:33:12Speaker 01

  We used to go to, we used to talk to them and then once they realized it was the both of us, they knew like something was up. Then it was just fucking.

• 1:33:19Speaker 03

  It was mayhem. Call the cops. I don't give a fuck.

• 1:33:23Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna fire, I gotta fire back. I was just thinking about firing those guys back up. You can look up the numbers.

• 1:33:28Speaker 00

  I think they have fun with that.

• 1:33:30Speaker 03

  They do.

• 1:33:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, they do.

• 1:33:32Speaker 00

  It's a fun part of the.

• 1:33:32Speaker 03

  I like to get, if I get them to crack.

• 1:33:34Speaker 01

  Most of their days just hang up.

• 1:33:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Also, I heard, I got an inside track saying a lot of them are in recovery. So there was some warehouses in Florida trying to like kick heroin.

• 1:33:43Speaker 01

  Who the fuck gets that job?

• 1:33:45Matt McCusker?

  Well, yeah, you call them and go, yo, bro, thinking about using it, get, they get fucked up.

• 1:33:48Speaker 01

  That's fucked up.

• 1:33:51Matt McCusker?

  I was, hey, I was told by someone in recovery to hit them with that.

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, they're, they're, they're.

• 1:33:55Matt McCusker?

  They might not be all the way recovered, huh?

• 1:33:57Speaker 01

  They don't, they don't have the best of.

• 1:33:58Matt McCusker?

  Where, where are you going? Florida? How's, you fucking clean, man? How many days you got?

• 1:34:01Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:34:01Matt McCusker?

  Fuck you, man.

• 1:34:02Speaker 01

  You might have fucking fucked up.

• 1:34:04Matt McCusker?

  I'm not saying I put this off.

• 1:34:06Speaker 00

  That's so evil.

• 1:34:07Matt McCusker?

  I'm not saying I fucking. I'm saying you can't do that.

• 1:34:10Speaker 03

  That's zero gravity right now.

• 1:34:12Speaker 00

  Don't bust into these.

• 1:34:13Speaker 01

  I'm on the hood, I'm on the hood.

• 1:34:15Matt McCusker?

  I'm not saying I use it. I'm saying if you, if you get attacked, you can let it go. My bad. I mean, the Walburg out on you guys.

• 1:34:22Speaker 03

  You look like you're in zero G over there. Watch.

• 1:34:27Speaker 03

  You're on the ISS.

• 1:34:28Speaker 01

  Sorry, that's all. Why is that happening?

• 1:34:30Matt McCusker?

  I've no idea.

• 1:34:31Speaker 01

  That's a technical issue. We'll work that out. We apologize.

• 1:34:33Matt McCusker?

  Bro, it took me a second to write all this thing, dude.

• 1:34:35Speaker 00

  Sometime it's not the wand, it's the wizard.

• 1:34:38Speaker 01

  The wand picks the wizard.

• 1:34:41Matt McCusker?

  Keep trying to come over to me. Fucking, you guys are hilarious.

• 1:34:45Speaker 00

  Fucking hilarious.

• 1:34:47Matt McCusker?

  I might just go back.

• 1:34:48Speaker 00

  Okay, bro.

• 1:34:49Matt McCusker?

  Dude, do you ever think about going backwards at on stage?

• 1:34:52Speaker 01

  It's odd, dude. You guys are absolutely fine. You're not bald. You're literally normal.

• 1:34:58Speaker 00

  It's not fucking funny.

• 1:34:59Speaker 03

  Am I cooked?

• 1:35:00Speaker 00

  I'm chopped.

• 1:35:02Speaker 01

  I'm chopped.

• 1:35:02Matt McCusker?

  You're undeniably masked, bro.

• 1:35:04Speaker 00

  I'm chopped, okay.

• 1:35:05Matt McCusker?

  You're masked, bro. That's sick.

• 1:35:06Speaker 03

  Forget your worries. We'll get a fucking double Sicilian pizza from Franco's with regatta and sausage.

• 1:35:11Speaker 01

  Regatta, regatta.

• 1:35:14Speaker 00

  Yo cuz, you don't wanna be Italian.

• 1:35:18Speaker 03

  Imagine the chill afterwards, that's gonna be nice. It's gonna be the chill.

• 1:35:24Speaker 03

  Also.

• 1:35:26Speaker 03

  It's gonna be the chill, it's gonna be nasty as fuck.

• 1:35:30Speaker 03

  I mean, give yourself a high five, dude. It's gonna be nasty.

• 1:35:33Speaker 00

  My fucking mom's not even going.

• 1:35:35Speaker 03

  Are you serious?

• 1:35:37Speaker 00

  She went on vacation. She went on vacation.

• 1:35:42Speaker 00

  It's funny cuz she definitely feels bad and she's sending me texts, she's like.

• 1:35:45Speaker 01

  I didn't realize that was.

• 1:35:47Speaker 00

  It was a year away. I told her this, no, she knew this was coming. She was like, I have to go to Europe, me and your aunt.

• 1:35:53Speaker 03

  Europe?

• 1:35:53Speaker 00

  We've planned, we've planned this for so long.

• 1:35:56Speaker 03

  She could literally go wherever she wants.

• 1:35:57Speaker 00

  Change it a week, just a week later.

• 1:35:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:59Speaker 01

  I'll pay for it.

• 1:36:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. She's sending me texts, it's like, just know that my soul is with you. I'm like, mom, you're on vacation.

• 1:36:07Speaker 01

  My soul is with you.

• 1:36:08Speaker 03

  That's really nice.

• 1:36:09Speaker 00

  No, she's, she's entered that age of like, she'll send me, I'm sure you guys do it too, the moms and dads got a hold of Instagram reels.

• 1:36:15Speaker 03

  Oh, it's crazy.

• 1:36:16Speaker 00

  And I'm getting hit with like, my son is the most important thing to me and I'd love to see him grow into the man he's become.

• 1:36:22Speaker 01

  Oh my god, bro.

• 1:36:23Speaker 00

  Respond with homeless.

• 1:36:23Speaker 01

  Let me get some shades.

• 1:36:26Speaker 00

  Respond with it.

• 1:36:28Speaker 03

  No, I just, my mom didn't accept my fucking DMs for like a year. I was like, mom, you have to accept this. She's like, oh, sorry.

• 1:36:35Speaker 00

  Phil's on the reels. I called him last night, he was, Joan's gone, Phil's getting fucking hammered.

• 1:36:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Normal, he's like keeping it clean?

• 1:36:44Speaker 00

  No, he's still getting hammered, but this.

• 1:36:46Speaker 03

  No, no, I'm talking about on reels.

• 1:36:48Speaker 00

  Oh, the reels? He, I think he's still normal.

• 1:36:50Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:36:51Speaker 00

  But he was in the.

• 1:36:52Speaker 03

  The night hawls.

• 1:36:52Speaker 00

  He was in the dark.

• 1:36:53Speaker 01

  I mean, YouTube got me.

• 1:36:55Speaker 00

  Called him in the dark, he was sitting in the dark looking at reels. Doom scrolling in the recline. And I was like, bro, what are you doing? And he was like, nothing, just looking at the, uh, what's the thing? Uh, the phone thing. It was like Instagram? He's like, yeah. It was like.

• 1:37:10Speaker 01

  Dude, this is gonna be the last decade of all their lives.

• 1:37:12Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:37:13Speaker 01

  This is gonna fuck them all up.

• 1:37:14Speaker 00

  Well, there was no sports last night.

• 1:37:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:15Speaker 00

  Normally he's on the sports. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:17Speaker 01

  But sports is on reels.

• 1:37:18Speaker 00

  He's usually on the deck. Oh, he's on, oh, that's what he was watching. I was like, what are you watching?

• 1:37:22Speaker 01

  reels is like.

• 1:37:22Speaker 00

  Bro, he was watching Luke Kuechly highlights.

• 1:37:24Speaker 01

  I was watching, dude, my last, my last, if I go on, if I go on the internet, dude, it's like Caitlin Clark fighting.

• 1:37:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  LeBron, MJ, fucking arguments.

• 1:37:33Speaker 00

  Bro.

• 1:37:33Speaker 01

  Messi, fucking, Ronaldo's out, but now it's like Messi stuff, like.

• 1:37:37Speaker 00

  You need to, I'll send you the Luke Kuechly highlight video that Phil was watching.

• 1:37:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:37:40Speaker 00

  It's, you're gonna go, damn, that's actually sick.

• 1:37:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:43Speaker 00

  It's cool you're watching. He was just watching a heady linebacker. Yeah. Just a white man playing fucking football. Just a guy, he was calling plays before the offense.

• 1:37:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:37:50Speaker 00

  I mean, that's Phil's shit.

• 1:37:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:37:53Speaker 00

  He's drunk in a recliner at 11:30. He's like, look at that. He is like Palpatine on the deck. We were all up there. He was just on this, yeah. Was that when you went, when you, he didn't know we were coming? Yeah.

• 1:38:05Speaker 00

  He got outside, he was like, oh.

• 1:38:09Speaker 00

  Hey, how are you guys? He thought he was alone there. It looked like when Maverick rolled up on Iceman in the new Top Gun. He was just sitting in the chair like, oh, he's got, he's got the glow of the TV on the porch and just.

• 1:38:22Speaker 00

  Yo, Phil, what's going on? It's, oh, Jesus. Hey, hey, guys. Dude, you're fucking wasted. Shane, I'm not, I'm telling you. Couple of drinks. But no, he's been calling, he calls my assistant constantly for tickets. Oh, yeah. All the, like, dude, he's got like 40 tickets to this fucking thing. Oh, that's so much. It's just anybody. Yeah.

• 1:38:44Speaker 00

  Shane, the bartender T-bone down at the Elks Lodge, her, she was in a tough car accident. Tough car accident, great. She's insane. Her son wants to come to the, uh.

• 1:38:55Speaker 01

  I mean, it's happening to everybody.

• 1:38:57Speaker 00

  It's. Yeah.

• 1:38:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:58Speaker 00

  That's, dude, the, the, the list was the best.

• 1:39:00Speaker 01

  Everybody I ever met.

• 1:39:02Speaker 00

  He, yeah. So I'm gonna get you box sweets, dude. Now that you ask me, I'm gonna fucking get you backstage, whatever. I hear him talking to my assistant, asking for tickets, and I'll be like, put that on speaker. You're not getting fucking tickets, Phil. And he's like, god damn it, Grace. Don't fucking let him hear this. So I'm gonna need those tickets. He's getting the ticket. I say no to him every time. He gets it. So funny. He's getting the tickets.

• 1:39:26Matt McCusker?

  He's a power broker.

• 1:39:27Speaker 00

  There's, Phil has a section at the link, dude.

• 1:39:29Matt McCusker?

  Are you serious?

• 1:39:30Speaker 00

  Yes. And it's just random fucking people that probably don't give a fuck about me.

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:39:35Speaker 00

  It's probably, yeah, my son's down there. If you want to go check him out.

• 1:39:38Matt McCusker?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:39:39Speaker 00

  And I go, oh, you're proud of me? He's like, I'm not fucking proud of you, Shane. I go, yeah, you are. You're wearing a Tyers hat?

• 1:39:46Speaker 00

  It's a nice hat. People like it.

• 1:39:50Matt McCusker?

  That is awesome.

• 1:39:51Speaker 00

  Fucking scumbag. Although he'll be excited. My mom's not there.

• 1:39:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's gonna be nuts.

• 1:39:55Speaker 00

  Turn up at this thing.

• 1:39:56Matt McCusker?

  Is he getting to Telly?

• 1:39:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:39:58Speaker 01

  Do you have to be there in the morning and stuff?

• 1:40:02Speaker 00

  I probably will. I'll get there pretty early.

• 1:40:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:40:03Speaker 00

  I'm gonna sit in the fucking Eagles locker.

• 1:40:05Speaker 01

  Phil gonna be able to walk around the link like he?

• 1:40:07Speaker 00

  Have a heart attack.

• 1:40:08Speaker 01

  Can Phil walk around like he owns it?

• 1:40:11Matt McCusker?

  He can walk.

• 1:40:12Speaker 00

  He'll do it, yeah.

• 1:40:13Matt McCusker?

  He's gonna walk. He's gonna be giving tours, dude. He'll be like, you ever here? This is where they want.

• 1:40:18Speaker 00

  He'll be, yeah. And then he'll be like, Shane, invite him into the green room. They want to meet you. Dude, I'm not. You're bringing 10 people from the fucking Elks Club. And like every show, I go, I go, those are my dad's friends. There's six fucking old drunk dudes in the corner.

• 1:40:33Matt McCusker?

  Who was the kid that threw up that one time?

• 1:40:34Speaker 00

  That was, uh, my cousin's nephew. It was like a distant relative showed up and was blacked out. Threw up, ran to the bathroom, so they threw up everywhere throughout the building.

• 1:40:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:47Speaker 00

  And then came back in.

• 1:40:49Speaker 01

  I've done this in my life.

• 1:40:50Matt McCusker?

  I had a pile of my Goobies in Baltimore that was legendary. Take me back.

• 1:40:53Speaker 00

  My Goobies was a legendary trip.

• 1:40:55Matt McCusker?

  That was so fun. Everyone met their maker that night.

• 1:40:58Speaker 00

  No, I plowed through those shoes.

• 1:41:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, did you?

• 1:41:01Speaker 00

  I was so drunk.

• 1:41:03Matt McCusker?

  That was big Kahuna status.

• 1:41:04Speaker 00

  I barely forgot. I fuck, I didn't remember taking them, except in the car ride home, I was like, I'm thinking weird.

• 1:41:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:10Speaker 00

  My thoughts, oh, yeah, I had a handful of fucking mushrooms.

• 1:41:12Matt McCusker?

  Banging on your door.

• 1:41:13Speaker 00

  I thought I was dead.

• 1:41:15Matt McCusker?

  I was. I was like, dude, he ever, the whole squad fucking disintegrated. You were ground man, I'm pretty sure.

• 1:41:20Speaker 00

  I was ground man, but I was heavily sunburnt.

• 1:41:22Speaker 03

  So I threw up in the Goobies fucking, I threw up in the Goobies fucking bathroom and then we went back. And I just remember spade and you were all fucked up. You looked at me like, holy shit dude, you're sunburned. I was like, yeah, this hurts.

• 1:41:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:41:35Matt McCusker?

  That was, that was me that night. I was spot, that was me right behind you. I was just sitting there.

• 1:41:40Speaker 00

  Was that New Year's? Was that New Year's?

• 1:41:42Matt McCusker?

  Hell no.

• 1:41:42Speaker 00

  Why were we popping champagne?

• 1:41:43Speaker 01

  It was Memorial Day.

• 1:41:45Speaker 03

  World Day weekend, right?

• 1:41:46Speaker 00

  We were popping bottles.

• 1:41:47Matt McCusker?

  Popping bottles, eating mushrooms.

• 1:41:48Speaker 03

  Champagne.

• 1:41:49Speaker 00

  It was awesome.

• 1:41:49Speaker 03

  Did it, boys. McGoobies.

• 1:41:51Speaker 01

  That was, that was.

• 1:41:51Matt McCusker?

  Live cast.

• 1:41:52Speaker 03

  Live cast.

• 1:41:53Speaker 00

  Oh, that's it.

• 1:41:54Matt McCusker?

  Those things are, they just destroy you.

• 1:41:56Speaker 00

  They were, the live casts are some of the worst shows we've ever had.

• 1:41:58Matt McCusker?

  You show up and you have no plan and then there's a fucking live audience. You're like, I'm hitting the eject button and getting shitfaced on stage. And you just completely devolve on stage.

• 1:42:06Speaker 03

  It's how legends are made.

• 1:42:08Matt McCusker?

  It was pretty, it is pretty sick.

• 1:42:09Speaker 00

  Awesome.

• 1:42:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was.

• 1:42:11Speaker 00

  Got in that fight with the guy about Penn State at helium. Epic. Guy had to get like carried out. He was trying to rush the stage of fighting.

• 1:42:20Speaker 03

  Oh, what the fuck did you say? Yeah, you were fucking saying something about Penn State.

• 1:42:24Speaker 00

  I remember that. Joe Pa.

• 1:42:25Speaker 03

  Wasn't that guy like hurt or something? Like fit, like mentally he had like a brain injury?

• 1:42:28Speaker 00

  Guy was fired up. He tried to rush the stage.

• 1:42:31Speaker 03

  He was so angry. I forgot about that.

• 1:42:32Speaker 01

  You could always do that shit. I was telling you, Matt. Randomly go through people, algorithm up on the fucking screen.

• 1:42:38Matt McCusker?

  He did. We did.

• 1:42:39Speaker 01

  I'm just saying like on next time you do a live.

• 1:42:42Matt McCusker?

  That would be fun.

• 1:42:42Speaker 01

  If you do a live fucking.

• 1:42:44Speaker 03

  Podcast?

• 1:42:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:46Matt McCusker?

  That'd be fun. Now, now we have showmanship truly under our belts. After tomorrow, we can have, we can lead a circus.

• 1:42:55Speaker 01

  Have you seen if you got rods involved?

• 1:42:57Speaker 03

  We're gonna become sacred and royal. Is that what Bargazzi did? Bargazzi's doing the fucking amusement park.

• 1:43:02Speaker 00

  He's making an amusement park.

• 1:43:04Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:43:05Speaker 00

  I'm gonna, I was strongly considering getting wired up and launching out of the stadium at the end.

• 1:43:12Speaker 01

  There.

• 1:43:12Speaker 00

  And I was like really fast.

• 1:43:13Matt McCusker?

  I think you deserve a bad.

• 1:43:14Speaker 00

  That top row just passed his health.

• 1:43:16Matt McCusker?

  I think you deserve at least, if nothing else, one exotic animal in your house. Come on. I've been scheming on a backyard tortoise.

• 1:43:23Speaker 00

  That'd be awesome.

• 1:43:24Matt McCusker?

  That'd be sick, having a tortoise in your backyard.

• 1:43:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:43:27Matt McCusker?

  Shit would break. Saying, no, no, you gotta dig, you gotta dig your fence down. I really looked into it. You gotta dig like footers is a dig out, but it will trash your fucking garden. They're known as, they're known as bulldozer, bulldozers, they'll bulldoze your entire garden.

• 1:43:38Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 1:43:39Matt McCusker?

  It'd be awesome, dude. Fucking, you need to get a monkey, uh, monkey, or what are they? Michael Jackson's monkey bubbles? I keep watching that video. That's the only thing I think about. Well, you can start tortoise, you can get a little guy and then it'll take a while for it to get big. So you start a little humble tortoise.

• 1:43:54Speaker 01

  I think tortoises in Paris live like fucking long as shit.

• 1:43:56Matt McCusker?

  They live forever. You'd have to put it in your will. Your tortoise would be in your will for sure.

• 1:43:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:00Matt McCusker?

  They live long as hell.

• 1:44:01Speaker 01

  No, I saw a thing. I was watching, um, the Saudis are building roller coasters right now.

• 1:44:06Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:44:07Speaker 01

  At, you gotta see this shit, dude. We don't do this.

• 1:44:11Matt McCusker?

  Fucking roller coaster park. Damn.

• 1:44:14Speaker 01

  I'm talking like, dude, it's like.

• 1:44:16Speaker 00

  Decapitations.

• 1:44:19Matt McCusker?

  How's it looking?

• 1:44:19Speaker 01

  It's fucking sick, dude. I want, you, you brought up roller coasters. I was like.

• 1:44:22Matt McCusker?

  What, yeah, what is the latest on roller coaster technology?

• 1:44:25Speaker 01

  It's in Saudi. That's what I'm saying.

• 1:44:26Speaker 00

  They're, they're pretty great.

• 1:44:27Matt McCusker?

  Are they really?

• 1:44:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:44:28Matt McCusker?

  I haven't even thought about going on one ever since the little boy fucking got hurt on that slingshot one, bro.

• 1:44:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:44:33Matt McCusker?

  That's the worst video I've seen in a while.

• 1:44:35Speaker 00

  Which one?

• 1:44:36Matt McCusker?

  Where the fucking thing shoots up in the air and it's coming back down. The, the fucking fat kid gets to the ground before hits the cement. And they all come down, but his shit didn't clip in.

• 1:44:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 1:44:46Matt McCusker?

  So he got ejected out of the fucking thing. Let me rock that.

• 1:44:49Speaker 00

  I'm no stranger to bush gardens. I ain't posting.

• 1:44:51Matt McCusker?

  Location, Six Flags, T D S City.

• 1:44:53Speaker 01

  Fucking Saudis, dude. They don't give a fuck. They have no regulations.

• 1:44:56Matt McCusker?

  535 feet. That's terrifying. Come on. Total elevation change, 640 feet, 195 meters for you fucking dorks in Europe.

• 1:45:03Speaker 01

  It takes a while, dude, but.

• 1:45:05Matt McCusker?

  155 miles an hour?

• 1:45:07Speaker 01

  It's worth it.

• 1:45:07Speaker 00

  This is terrible.

• 1:45:08Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be you. Yeah, hold on, let me see.

• 1:45:11Speaker 00

  That's gonna be me trying to sleep tonight.

• 1:45:12Matt McCusker?

  Let me see the drop. This is the drop. That's the drop. First drop. Ooh. Oh dude, we got, we're taking the loop. Yo, okay, we're doing.

• 1:45:23Speaker 00

  After that, you need to look up Williams Grove roller coaster.

• 1:45:26Matt McCusker?

  You have a roller coaster?

• 1:45:27Speaker 00

  There was, dude. There was and it was.

• 1:45:29Speaker 01

  There was?

• 1:45:29Speaker 00

  Fucking nuts. Would never, like, nothing.

• 1:45:33Speaker 01

  Gotta bring it back.

• 1:45:34Speaker 00

  Nothing worked.

• 1:45:35Matt McCusker?

  That's fucked.

• 1:45:36Speaker 00

  It was fun.

• 1:45:36Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 1:45:37Speaker 00

  It was small as fuck, so it wasn't.

• 1:45:38Matt McCusker?

  Wooden? We talked, yeah, we talked, yeah, we talked.

• 1:45:41Speaker 00

  Um, I do actually have.

• 1:45:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, let's rip it.

• 1:45:43Speaker 00

  I have to go walk to the, uh, yeah.

• 1:45:45Matt McCusker?

  Walk the field.

• 1:45:47Speaker 00

  I don't even, this will be a mistake looking at it.

• 1:45:49Matt McCusker?

  No, it's gonna be great. Hands behind your back. Walk through. Go, um, that, let's get a crane in here. We gotta move that four feet to the left. You gotta do one thing.

• 1:45:58Speaker 00

  Do sound check. It's gonna echo. I'm gonna go, that's fine. Doesn't matter.

• 1:46:02Matt McCusker?

  That's where you're going right now?

• 1:46:03Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:46:04Matt McCusker?

  Kill it?

• 1:46:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, let me see that.

• 1:46:06Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:46:10Speaker 00

  Do it.