Giggly Squad
Hosted by Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Original podcast
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12,766 words · 6 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces and let's just say these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the High Rise Matching Short. They're so buttery soft. They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like, I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here.
Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com.
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I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.
Like, so many people have my location.
And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.
And if your friend, like, doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.
Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?
Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.
And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat, so once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.
And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.
Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...
Please, nobody speak to me.
Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.
And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.
And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.
Which truly women deserve.
We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.
Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.
And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.
And we spend enough of our lives being on.
Exactly.
We don't need to be on in the car.
Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You could check out the full terms in the app.
We love a discount.
And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.
Sup, gigglers? Jerry, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me.
Sorry, I, sorry. Us Weekly just did an article about me getting UTIs. Like, what?
No. No, they didn't.
I just commented it and said, guys, what the fuck? As if I just, like, announced that I have a chronic illness.
Debilitating health issue?
Like, what the fuck?
I think I can't. Like, I go, why? Someone commented and goes, obviously, she's having a lot of sex.
I feel like I need a comment. Be like, okay, you fuck. I wrote-
It looks like I died in a car accident.
Also, then people say TMI. It's like, that was on our private podcast.
That was private for my closest 200,000 friends. Like, please, stop.
That was in our private diary that we post.
Sometimes people pick things up. I'm like, that's so violating. I wrote that in my diary.
Okay, back to our scheduled programming. Hello, my gold medal gigglers.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. It had to be said. It had to be said. You're all the way in California right now.
I'm all the way in California right now. And let me just say one thing, and this might be a controver-
This might be controversial, but like, you know when like, you have to like, do a fun fact about you, or like, you're out on a date, or like, you see, and it's like, people are like, I love traveling. In theory, totally. Like, I love traveling. But actually, I hate it. Like, I get on one flight, and I get off the flight, and I'm like, and I'm constipated. My stomach exploded. My head hurts. I need to go lay in a bed. Like, Like, if you go on vacation with me, and you have plans for the day that we land, I'm not your friend. Like, I'm in LA. I don't technically have to be in LA till Wednesday, but I'm like,
No, I need two days to like, get it together. I need to like, I need to acclimate. I need, like, so actually, I hate traveling.
Well, travel's annoying because when you finally get to your, um, place you're trying to go, you haven't actually done anything, so you feel like a lazy piece of shit, because you've just been sitting on planes, but Emotionally, traveling is difficult. I mean, you guys, occasionally I have to run in heels, but my traveling faux pas was I was on American Airlines, lost, scared.
Yeah, who knows?
You know, I'm a Delta girl. And I was in seat D, three D, oh no, I'll just say D. And I assumed D was by the window, cuz I'm a woman in STEM.
And Delta, it is by the window. I digress.
Also, like, this is just.
Alphabetical.
The alphabet was made a long time ago. Yeah, like, I don't question the alphabet. Yeah, I'm not changing the alphabet.
Wait, do you know that they actually did change the alphabet song in school?
Why?
I don't know. Like, if you walk into any middle school right now and they're learning the alphabet, it is not at the same cadence in which we learned the alphabet.
But that shit was my jam. A, B, C, D, E, M, J.
Do you remember, actually, like, in, like, third grade, when they would, like, make up songs to, like, learn multiplication?
I feel like that was something that was helping you during a difficult time.
Oh, okay. I ate and I ate and I got, I ate and I ate and I got sick on the floor cuz eight times eight is sixty-four. Like, that's not ringing a bell. Got it. Okay, never mind.
No, Paige needed a little cute song to remember her math, which tracks.
No, I literally did.
I'm sitting my ass in D and a very nice lady is like, "Sorry, you're in my seat." Now, one thing about me is I never assume I'm right.
Never.
Cuz then it would be a rough life, you know?
At the end of the day, I'm probably wrong. Yeah.
So I'm like, "Oh, I must be in the wrong row. Look up." It goes A, C, D, F. So then I stop and I say, "I'm sorry, but actually, this is, the system is wrong." There's a, there's a bigger injustice happening here.
If I had a nickel.
This, I'm just a girl who's been. Taken advantage of by whatever this letter riddle is.
Let us stray.
So she's and she's like, you could stay there, but look, I know that people, when they want a window, they want a window. I said, ma'am, no, you deserve the window. I have to pee anyways. I'm going in the aisle. It's all good. So then I'm doing my thing and at the end of the flight, she goes like, hey, just so you know, my sister is a big giggler. And I, and I started laughing and I was like, did you tell her I took your seat? And she goes, yeah, and the giggler said Hannah's really bad at admin and she's a Delta girl. So that tracks.
Hannah actually doesn't know where she is.
And she was like, how did she know that about you? And I was like, does she?
It's common knowledge. We're all just out here. They, everyone knows.
I have a new obsession.
Which is?
You know, when I'm on the road, I need to watch something and I hyper fixate on things. I realize I have a problem. Like I'll hyper fixate on meals. I have a fix.
Well, you want to know what? You, you are correct in yourself where you say like, you could never do drugs. You'd get like obsessed with like one drug.
Smoked one cigarette, by next week I'd be like, welcome to giggly squad.
Yeah. You'd be that TikTok like my dad, what's that TikTok where it's like?
We moved to the, worked at the Palm or like casino, something again, whatever. Keep going.
I have no brain.
So, you know, you just got off a plane. I don't know how you're functioning. So I look, it's a little embarrassing because I'm very late to the game. It's not that I haven't seen it before. I just haven't been like locked in.
I'm addicted to RuPaul's Drag Race.
Really?
Paige.
Wait, where are you even watching it? What like on Amazon?
What happened? I was in a casino in Oklahoma and.
And that'll happen to you.
And I said, you know.
How come no one ever talks about casinos then in Oklahoma?
Well, how come ever, no one ever talks about how Oklahoma has this like Ozempic little like end to it? That no one lives on, but they just fought for it. They were like, that's our land. You know, like the end of Oklahoma?
No, why the fuck would I know the end of Oklahoma?
Sorry. Back in the day, I worked for a company that you had to know the state's shapes and it was, I wish I didn't. But, um, I digress. I just put on TV and MTV had RuPaul's Drag Race playing and there was something so nostalgic about turning on MTV because I remember feeling naughty when I was little, like watching MTV, I'd be like, I'm such a teenager.
Yeah.
And I start watching it. I'm in. I'm immediately invested. Because this is the thing about RuPaul's Drag Race. It's Project Runway. Combined with, they're doing their own fucking glam. Americas, but Americas Next Top Model where they do their own stuff. Plus, it's a comedy show. They're doing routines, they're doing gags.
They're doing bits.
And they're so mean to each other because they're men, so they get over it really quick. So they'll just say the most fucked up shit and then they're fine. Um, and then there's so much heart to it because they're always just like, learn to love yourself, which everyone can learn from. And I am locked in on season 12 right now. I've watched like eight episodes in the last two days.
It's still going on though, right?
Yeah, because there's a current season.
I think it's like one of the longest running shows. I feel like it's been on for like 20 years.
You would love it.
I know. I can't believe I've never watched like a full season. I've watched like random episodes before, but I've never like sat down and watched a season from start to finish.
They are so funny and I think I didn't fully realize how like the pop culture starts there. Like the words they're saying in 2020 is what you see like the Gen Z saying in 2023. Like they invented culture. Like they are so fucking funny.
Like sly?
They came up with that. There's a lot of words that they came up with.
And also, do you know high fashion designers watch RuPaul's Drag Race for inspiration? Because they're just so creative. But like, they don't even talk about it. They're just like, okay, make your own outfit and do glam and it's like a two-minute edit. I'm just blown away by it.
It's funny that you brought up MTV because I saw a girl make this video and she was she was like, I'm married, I'm in my 30s and I'm so petrified to have a child and she was like, and I think it's because when I was at like a very prime age, I was turning on MTV and I was watching 16 and Pregnant and that was truly our version of like scared straight.
Yes.
Like I still, in my heart of hearts, I'm like, I can't get pregnant, I'm on the cheerleading team. Like, how can I have a baby and still be the flyer?
The men were so horrible, they'd be like, I don't want a baby, I don't want to be here, I'm not showing up to the date, like the worst dudes.
Such unhinged television that at 12, I'm like locked in. I'm like, something's going on with Farrah and her mom, can't figure it out, just to only realize that like years and years later, I like, I will still think about these people.
Maybe they have to make one for fucking smoking, so the kids these days stop smoking, it's very upsetting to me. If I see another it girl with a cigarette, I'll lose my mind.
Wait.
I'm very upset about it.
Are you? Because I feel like I keep seeing it too and I'm like, this feels very like, look, I'm no angel, I love a drunk cig. I, I prefer a drunk cig in Europe because I feel like that doesn't count, like if you smoke cigarettes in Europe, it's like, you're on vacation.
I couldn't tell you, genuinely, I can't tell you the last time I had a drunk cigarette in the United States. Because I'm like so grossed out by them, but it is so interesting that now they're in like campaigns and like.
In girls' dumps, this generation's obsessed with aesthetic and they're obsessed with trends.
So like one cool girl posts her with a cigarette, then all these girls are gonna do it, I don't know, it's not, it's not worth it and I don't know why, what they're trying to say, like I'm bad, like I don't know, I never understood that, like.
Especially because I would credit Gen Z with like not over consuming alcohol and like I feel like.
Cause they're high. They're, they're in a fucking smoke chain or whatever they call it.
No, I would, I actually think Gen Z is almost better with substances than millennials because like.
Like when I was in my twenty, when I was twenty-three to twenty-six, like I was blacked out every single weekend. Like I didn't have a skincare routine. You know, like I didn't know, like I didn't do that stuff. So I think there are good things about Gen Z, but the smoking thing is, it is interesting.
So obviously, like, we talked about America's Next Top Model, and then like, I literally couldn't stop thinking about it. And I'm just like, I see all these clips on TikTok. And then the other day, I'm watching Lincoln Lawyer, which is like my new obsession. I actually just finished it on Netflix.
We have such different tastes in TV. I saw Lincoln Lawyer, I was like, boring.
Obsessed love. Love the main character. I'm like, no, I'll marry you.
I haven't clicked on it.
You know what it is? I love a strong man in a suit. Like, and I'm, you know, I'm sorry if that sounds misogynistic. Like, I feel not feminist, I love a strong man in a suit.
Yeah, a strong man in a suit gives me like fucking agita. I don't like that at all.
So I'm watching it, and there's like one of the characters, she's like the prosecutor, and I'm staring at her, and I'm like, I know this woman. Like, how do I know this woman? And now my new thing is, rather than like when I don't know something, and just like immediately looking it up on Google, I try and use my brain. I'm like, no, I know it. Let me find it in there.
Don't try to be a hero. Don't try to be a hero.
Sit and think and see if I can figure it out. I'm literally sitting on the couch. Now my eyes are closed. I'm like, let me just hear her voice and see if I can place her.
You started channeling spirits.
I'm like, I know this person. How do I know this person? All of a sudden, it clicks. She was on America's Next Top Model. Her name was Yaya. I end up looking her up on Google. She has a, because I was like, I've seen her in other TV shows. Like, I know her as an actress. Like, in my head, I was like, she's an actress, but what are the other things I've watched her in? Then it clicks to me, she's on America's Next Top Model. She was not in the documentary, but she's a perfect example, her and Eva, of someone who like did cross over and make the pivot.
There's also, America's Next Top Model, an actress that played in Crazy Stupid Love. She played the babysitter in Crazy Stupid Love.
She was on America's Next Top Model?
Oh, I didn't know that. And so then I'm thi- and then like I'm, obviously like I'm watching more clips of America's Next Top Model and like girls like talking about it on TikTok and stuff. And one of the things that I think is different than other reality shows where there's judges, the judges were on a reality show with each other. Like, there are so many clips of people saying like some of the most racist things you've ever heard in your life and Tyra like turning her head and being like, what? Where like, typically, I feel like when you watch a TV show and like, even like us, like if we've ever like been on another TV show where we've done like,
even going on like another podcast, there is a sense of like, we're both on the same page because we're performing for the viewer. Where that show, the judges were just like saying anything, like no wonder Tyra like freaked out at some points, like, some people were saying unhinged things and it's like, it's her show. So I feel like people aren't talking about that enough, that the judges were trying to make things even more like controversial, which you don't ti- like if you watch Project Runway, like the judges aren't like fighting with each other for real, like they're on the same page, they're the judges.
American Idol, they would fight. Like fake fight, but like not like offensive.
I feel like that was Simon Cowell's character. Was like, he was the asshole. Like there's a character for each person.
Speaking of assholes, I'm watching the Gordon Ramsay documentary on Netflix, which I do have to say, I'm a huge Gordon Ramsay fan. I don't support any of the verbal abuse that he does, but I overall like a grumpy old man. Um, and he, I don't know why, I just can't look away. Like Kitchen Nightmares was my favorite thing and he does employ a ton of people in how a lot of small businesses, but I digress. Very boring documentary. It's basically, it's like one, he's just promoting like a new restaurant he's trying to open. It's kind of like a little Victoria Beckham-esque where they're just like pushing um one of the things they're promoting. Except Victoria Beckham was more interesting. No, but her documentary was promoting.
Whoa, whoa.
You said it yourself. You said it yourself.
That's where I draw the line. Okay Nicola, don't come onto this podcast and think you're gonna talk about Victoria Beckham like that.
You just called me Nicola. Who's that?
Nicola is the sister, the daughter-in-law.
Oh.
Keep up.
Um but that's what ultimately why I think I love RuPaul's Drag Race so much is that it's not entertaining because people are mean, even though people are mean on it. It's funny, it's comedy, everyone's laughing at themselves and at the end of the day, it's about love and acceptance and loving your neighbor and loving yourself. So anyway, with that said, um not happy with men's hockey.
Tell, because I'm like, sure. Yeah, for sure, I hate them too.
Basically, they win, the president calls them, well, actually the FBI, head of FBI is drunk with them on speakerphone. Um he had better things to do. Yeah, he's partying with the men's hockey team.
In Italy?
In Italy, in the locker room. They're all drunk.
I bet there's a lot of problems going on here in the Americas.
And they're not in the champagne in the locker room in Milan, I'll tell you that right now. Seeing like all the men celebrating and then a man be like, let me show you, I know the president. And then get the president on the phone and the president being like, I'm gonna fly you guys everywhere, I'm gonna treat you great, I'm gonna fly you here with every. And then he's like, and I'm gonna have to invite the women's team or I'll probably get impeached. And I'm not even mad, like, yeah, the guys, the guys laughed. Um some of them probably asked, some might have just been nervous and it was like a subtle jab.
It hurts so much because that's what we actually deal with every day. It's not like a big aggressive. It's the subtle things that people say. The women's hockey team, by the way, they've been more consistent than the men's hockey team. Been winning medals, I did the math, since nineteen ninety-eight. And these women get paid thirty to fifty K. Now they're at eighty K, but they had to have multiple jobs. They had to raise their children. They had no resources. They had like no assistance. They're on their fucking period. They're fighting the patriarchy. And they're still succeeding.
Wait, is the men, sorry for like.
Yeah, I'm not like a big hockey fan either, but.
Someone did a video, I think it was like Caleb Heron, where he was like, I wish they had like a talk show and it had one person that knew nothing about sports that could ask the question. Would you get, that's so smart. Question, the guys that are on the men's Olympic hockey team for the United States of America, are they all on professional teams year round?
They're the best Americans in the NHL. And the NHL is making millions of dollars.
Millions of, so their only job is hockey?
And they lose every year.
Are in a small league, and by the way, not to like name drop, but the captain of the USA women's team is one of the greatest of all time, Hillary Knight. Played at the University of Wisconsin-Gobiadures when I was there. And the women's hockey team won every national championship when I was there and the men's team like didn't. Um, so I just remember thinking these girls were like so badass, because they're they're playing a sport while skating.
It's like, think of basketball, but skating, like it's crazy, but the thing is they love the game so much. They are not doing it for the money. They're not, they're not, I don't know what they're doing it for, because it's fucking hard. But they're doing it for, for some fucking respect. And I'm glad the WNBA is there, women's tennis is there, hockey's next, because um, whoo, I just, ooh, it makes, ooh, I don't like it.
Yeah, it's just such a like.
It's boys' club.
But that truly is every day, like, okay, I guess like the girls, yeah, the girls can do it too, like. Like a perfect, this is not a perfect example, but the only thing I can think of is like. When I was younger and like I would be playing a game with like my older brother, like my older cousins. And there were any little, like younger cousins, we would always be like, they don't count. Like, sure, you guys can like play, but like it doesn't actually count in the real score.
Which my little cousins would get so mad, like we count, like we're, we're like, okay, like you don't. But that is truly what it's like being an adult woman.
Little cousins are people too.
Yeah, they're people too. They're like in their twenties now, so I consider them people.
I also don't want to be, yeah, like, the butt of a joke by like, the people making decisions about our rights.
And now we've said it. Oh, and period. Period, no pun intended. Fucking period.
Get period all over the ice next time.
I hate everyone.
I'm just really proud of all the female Olympians. I mean, Alyssa Liu, shout out to my girl. Did you not see Alyssa Liu?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
The girl with...
Again, it's sports, and I'm so proud of the girls, but it's sports. So like, I'm probably not tuning in, like...
Okay, so Alyssa Liu...
And I'm proud of them, though.
Alyssa Liu, when she was sixteen, was a world champion, and she was like, doing everything... In ice skating. And she's doing everything she's supposed to do, like, she's eating how she's supposed to eat. She's putting her hair the way they want her to do her hair, and she's just being psychotic. She then decides, fuck this, I'm quitting. World champion at sixteen, quitting. Two years later, she was on a ski trip with some friends and realized, like, this is actually kind of fun. Imagine if I had fun with ice skating like I'm doing now. And she has this, like, epiphany where she's like, if I... I'm so talented. If I approach it differently mentally, and I see it as just an expression of my art that I'm grateful that I can express to the world, I'll do it again.
And she calls her coach, and she's like, I want to come back. And the coach is like, no, you hate this. This isn't a good fit. Like, you don't want to do this. And she, like, begs him. She comes back, she wears what she wants, she dyes her hair in these, like, halos, they call them. And the people there are like, you can't have your hair like that. And she's like, go fuck yourself. And she goes on. And gives the most incredible performance.
Why would there be a rule about hair?
Cause they're fucking crazy because they wanna control women.
And how they look. Like your, how you look should not affect how you're rated in your performance, but ice skating is still like ballet where it's like, is she thin enough? Is she beautiful enough?
Right.
So this girl says fuck you. She, but she's so confident and in love with herself that she's so beautiful. And she skates like the most amazing skate. And all the other girls, she's like hugging and like, there was just this like camaraderie of girlhood.
Yeah. Women are incredible. No, seriously.
The top man, the tops, um, ice skating man, Ilya, had so much pressure on him. There's a lot of reasons, I don't know why that had happened, but when he goes for his skate, he fell three times and he didn't get a medal.
Oh, I actually saw that.
And he said, watching Alyssa inspired him to treat the sport differently.
Honestly, I mean, it goes like, I still think about like Simone Biles when she did her documentary and she was, and she called her mom and was like, I'm not doing it. And the mom was like, and don't do it. Like that, you really have to have that mentality with certain things. Like honestly, like the fact that I'm doing the SAG Awards on Sunday, well, actually, sorry, the Actor Awards.
Like I've been so anxious because I'm like, oh my God, like it's on Netflix. So many people are gonna be watching. If I mess up even for a second, like that's all people are gonna say, like, her mouth doesn't move or like she's stupid. Like, I don't know, just like running through my head. And then today, when I was on the plane, I was like,
oh, who cares? Like you've wanted to do this since you were literally six years old. You're now getting to do it and you're gonna be scared the whole fucking time. Like you love your dress. You're, you flew out your hair and makeup. I literally flew out my glam because I was like, I don't wanna use LA glam people. Because I need to be around people that I'm with every single day so that when I'm on the red carpet and I look over, that like I see Taylor Fitzgerald specifically, like I need to see her face.
That actually just like really helped me, that girl being like, I'm just gonna have fun with it. I mean, obviously, I'm gonna take a beta blocker, I'm not a psycho.
You're like, I'm also gonna be numb.
I'm also gonna be, yeah.
I always say, people don't remember what you say, they remember how you made them feel. So when you do the like, public speaking, as just all the girls' advice with public speaking, it's you actually being in the moment and not judging yourself in the moment and trying to be in that flow state, which is hard to get to, but it ultimately is doing what you love. Like, there's, this is so stupid sports related, but Djokovic is like the best tennis player of all time.
And he was like, I just love hitting the ball. And that kind of like...
And that's the kind of men I like. I'm like, yeah, speak your truth and dumb it down, you know?
Yeah, but the truth is, is like, when I played tennis, I was thinking about winning, I was thinking about all these things. I wasn't thinking that I loved hitting the ball. I actually didn't like hitting the ball, because it represented like, fear and bad things to me. But now, like, podcasting, going on stage, it is what I love to do. And when you love something, like, love overrides everything, which leads me to my next point.
We love a segue.
People are mad at me.
For?
The way I pronounce anxiety.
Anxiety?
Apparently, it's anxiety, and I say anxiety, anxiety, anxiety.
Say it again, I have to close my eyes.
I have anxiety.
I don't hear it, but I love you.
I know, thank you, I love you so much. I think it's just New York, that I say it that way.
Like, you almost add like a G into it?
Yeah, and they were like, I literally got a message, they were like, Hannah, I love everything about you, except it's anxiety, it's not anxiety. And I said this would give me anxiety, because now I'm gonna overthink.
Anxiety.
It gives me anxiety now.
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Also, people were asking me, and I didn't want to tell them, because I want to protect the gigglers from any harm.
But they said, "Is Paige doing her spray tan?" And I didn't want to have to tell them that you chose your career over my career.
Here we are again. I'll be the villain in your story, because I'm trying to put food on the table for my cat.
For your cat.
When are you taping it? I'm away, yeah, sorry.
Saturday.
Are you getting a spray tan?
Oh my god, I feel like I'm on RuPaul's Drag Race. I have to get a spray tan. I have to get a dermaplane facial, which you have to do before the spray tan, because then it takes off the spray tan. And the dermaplane makes my makeup look better, apparently. Also, I have to get my nails done, because the blue's grown out. Dye'd my hair. Honestly, I have to do a whole fucking...
Being a woman is insane.
It's America's Next Model.
Literally, that's why I had to fly into LA, like, days early. I'm like, "Well, I have to get a facial, then I have to get my spray tan, then I need to..." I'm also getting, like, a massage the night before, that's a calming massage.
First, you have to get the muscle relaxer, then you have to get the spa.
I have to get Reiki, like, I have to see an energy healer, like, I have a lot to do.
I'm talking to my psychic tomorrow.
Yeah, you have to. And sorry, sorry that you're preparing. Like, sorry.
I'm preparing emotionally, spiritually, physically. Also, no offense, but male comedians will play MSG, wake up from a nap, and their hair will be sticking up in the back from the nap, and it'll be, um, that's that.
Maybe if the men's hockey team prioritized anything, they'd win more often. Like, it's not our fault. Don't take it out on us.
Anyway, the women's hockey team, you're invited, um, to hang on.
I was about to cut that. Like, where are we going with this?
You can come to any Gayly Squad show you want, we support you.
Also, I stirred up a little controversy again.
Of me being sweaty and it got like, it was really funny.
Wait, I saw this. I was like, what are these weird screenshots? Also, you doing an Ask Me Anything on the plane? I'm like, who is this person?
Grace messaged me and was like, hey, how are you? And I said, great. And she's like, doesn't seem that way because you're doing an Ask Me Anything on the plane.
I was like, someone's gotta check on me on that.
No, literally. Um, what was I saying?
You just had a page moment. Isn't it like so jarring?
No, I like.
You're like, I'm speaking and then all of a sudden your brain like just go, you're like, I don't know.
No, like I literally, what was I saying? Oh, my controversy. So again, my arch nemesis, Threads, after bullying my grandma.
This is a problem with Threads. We don't know where on Threads, but Instagram like puts you on Threads.
Some girl did a whole video on Threads about me the other day of like one of our podcast clips and was like, and I was like, that's not even what that clip was about. I'm like, I can't do Threads. I had a blocker because I was like, I don't.
My sweat photos go on Threads and then I keep getting these like weird notifications and I'm like, if I could, if I have any notifications on Threads, it's not good. Like it's never a good thing.
I don't even know how to get to notifications on Threads.
Keep it that way. I will throw my phone into the subway. So turns out people think, because I said something like, well, I was like, someone needs a new, I said, someone needs a new deodorant or something. All the comments thought I was bullying a girl. So everyone's like, how dare you make fun of this, this woman? And everyone is bullying. Bullying me for bullying myself. Bullying me for bullying myself as a result bullying me.
How dare you talk to a woman like that?
And then the gigglers are jumping in being like, hey, that's, she's making, she's, this is her. She's making fun of herself and people are like, if you ever speak about another woman this way, you're disgusting and vile. And then people are like, that's just Hannah calling herself disgusting and viral, which by the way, it is not disgusting to sweat. It means my body is detoxing and we know everyone wants a detox.
Oh my God. Also, like, check any girl's comments in her Instagram. Like, it's people just being insane. The internet is so scary. That's why you have to find your niche.
Yeah, the internet is in like a weird low right now, I do have to say.
Yeah, like I find myself like get going off of TikTok and Instagram because I'm like, wait, some people are like, it's actually like, it's scary. It's why I started reading. I'm like, y'all forced me to pick up a goddamn book. That's when you know the country has gone awry. Paige is at home reading. She's trying to fill her time. She's trying to get hobbies. I fucking love scrolling.
Wait, someone wrote, someone wrote, getting people to defend you and trash you at the same time is a skill that needs to be studied. And then someone goes, I love that everyone rushed to defend you from your self bullying.
No, it's really unhinged.
I'm topping out. I'm topping out.
Yeah, I'm like, it's not for me anymore. It's so crazy.
Also, my marriage is, um.
On the rocks?
On the rocks, because I found out my husband doesn't like feta, which I thought was a non-controversial cheese. Feta is like, and feta, you don't.
It's universal.
It's uni- it's not too stinky. It's not too bland. It's just like, I thought feta, I didn't know there was an option not to like feta.
Look, I'm a ride or die for Italian food.
I thought you were gonna say, I'm my rider. I get feta.
I should actually add it. I think Italian food is the best food of any cuisine of anything. There are a few things that the Greeks do that I'm like, you nailed it with that one. And feta is one of them.
Right now.
Baccalà is another one of them. But the feta, I'll put it on. I'll put it on my skin if I feel like I'm having a rough day.
The texture, like I don't mind a person who's like, oh, I don't like a Gouda. It's like they're uncouth. But to not.
Even a brie, I'm like, it's not for everyone.
But I love a brie and if you don't, but it's okay, because I know it's a certain palate.
Totally.
I ordered an omelet with feta and tomatoes, which is like my new thing. It's I, I highly recommend people to try it. And he was like, no, it's okay. I don't like feta. And there's something about being in a marriage for, what are we at, four years? When you learn something new four years in?
Oh my god, wait, that seems crazy. You've been married for four years.
He's officially the longest guy I've ever been with. Which this is what's weird about, about getting married is sometimes you marry a guy and he's not the longest relationship you've been in up to that point. So anyway, that's what's going on currently in my relationship.
So anyway, that's what's going on with you.
You know what relationship people don't talk enough about? Rose Byrne and Bobby Carnavale. I don't know how to say his last name. Do you know who I'm talking about?
I do.
You love Bobby Carnavale.
Wait, let me Google him really quickly because I do know who you're talking about.
They're together. I don't think they're married, which is so fucking chic. Um, but I think they have kids together.
Of course I do.
Aren't, wait, why don't people talk about them more? I love them.
Do they have kids together? He was, oh, who is this? He was married and divorced. He is like hot.
I know. I knew you'd love him.
And you want to know what makes me love him even more?
He is with a funny woman. Takes a strong, strong man to be with a funny woman. It, well, actually it takes a strong man to be with a woman who is.
Beautiful and funny and talented, like Rose Byrne.
Well, like the center of attention, like, okay, a perfect example is like you said her name and I'm like, yeah, I know exactly who it is. You said his name and I was like, I think I know, but let me.
Google it really quickly. And I feel like being with like a funny woman who's like quick witted and like can add to the conversation. If you're not a strong man, that will make you so insecure.
Well, what I realized with funny women is like, if we make you laugh, like if we make a guy giggle. It means they, sometimes they feel like we tricked them. Cause like comedy comes from like unexpected. So they feel like we like, we outsmarted them and then suddenly they're giggling and they're like, what happened? Like they lost control of the conversation. So when a guy-
Yeah, because men feel like if you're, if you're commanding a room in terms of jokes, to men, and I hate when men say this word, but like to men, it comes off like you're the alpha. And they can't have that, like certain men can't have that.
Well, the loudest man in the room is normally, has the smallest penis.
And a lot of men think that like, when they are going to get married, they are going to be the alpha in their relationship. And like, you're going to be submissive. And if they're, and if you're in an opposite relation, like peo- men can't handle it.
I love a quiet, sturdy man. Also, I don't-
Shut the fuck up, yeah. Talk, talk when it's your part. Like, talk when it's a topic that you know a lot about. And if it's not funny jokes, then shut your mouth.
In my Ask Me Anything, cause I'm an Ask Me Anything influencer now, I honestly was on a fucking high. I had a coffee and I was like-
You're like, let me bang this out. It was literally you, it would be, that was like your equivalent to being in finance. You're like, let me just snort this out or I'll bang out all these questions.
How many did you actually read?
Like four. I had to cut through. I know you though. I know everything about you. I was like learning anything new.
I did stop at the one where someone was like, your favorite lip balm. I was like, oh, she fucking loves this lip balm. Like I knew, I'm like, I knew you saw that question. You were like, been waiting for someone to ask.
You were so sick of me, but you love me so much. It must be a crazy double.
So, someone told me that on her first date with a guy, she had a panic attack and he didn't know what to do. Or first vacation, he had a panic attack, didn't know what to do. And she was like, what should I do with him? Now look, would I love to tell everyone to break up with their boyfriend all the time? And do we do that a lot? Yes. However, context matters.
Okay, what were you saying? I don't know why that even reminded me of it.
What was I saying? Um, who am I?
Honestly, it's not important.
You love getting me all riled up about something and right before I say it, you go, quick right turn.
Because I know if I don't say it, I'll literally forget.
I said, she was like, he didn't handle my panic attack well.
As girls with anxiety. I think, sorry, that was, that sounded like mean, but I wasn't trying to be mean, I'm just, anyway.
I feel like sometimes men do not understand anxiety and like you can't get mad at someone for not understanding it because men truly understand anger is the only emotion and when it's anything else, they get very like, what's happening? Give him an opportunity to like, understand your culture.
Welcome to my world, let me show you.
If you do have a panic attack though in front of a guy and he deals with it great, I think that's your husband.
If a guy is truly into you, there is nothing that you can do that will turn them off. I, I think you should have a panic attack on the first date and it's like, because it's like, if you can't handle me at my worst, then like you don't deserve me at my best. It's, it's a very true.
Did Marilyn Monroe actually say that one?
I don't think so.
Wait, did you see, speaking of icons, Audrey Hepburn's been cast?
Lily Collins, yep.
Did you fucking tell your team to submit you? Like, what the fuck happened?
Well, Lily Collins is a respected actress.
Well, her father's Phil Collins.
I could tell that Lily Collins was gunning for an Audrey Hepburn role way before Emily in Paris because her style, I could tell by the way she was posting on Instagram that it was very Audrey Hepburn coded and she does look similar to her. So I kind of felt in my, I was like, I know one day she's gonna be, play her. So I'm actually, I'm, I'm glad it's her because I feel like you watch a lot of.
I'm honestly too Italian to play her. I feel like you do watch a lot of like biopics where you're like, okay, that person looks nothing like the celebrity or like.
Brad Pitt, like I can't.
I'm like, this is not the vibe where I feel like Lily Collins is the perfect. Cast for it.
Speaking of celebrity documentaries or no, stories, have you watched Love Story?
Of course.
What are your thoughts? Cause I feel like everyone's watching it right now. I'm two episodes in.
Usually I would have a lot of thoughts on a TV show about celebrities. For whatever reason, I feel, I, it's not that I feel icky watching it because I love it. I'm like obsessed. I'm all caught up. I like watch it right when it comes out. But I feel like the fact that she didn't like the spotlight so much, I almost feel like bad. Like I'm almost like, wait, would she have hated this show?
You know, but I also think it's an incredible story of like, he was JFK Junior. He was like one of the most famous people in the world. Their family was like the most famous i- in the world. And um, I can't think of the actress's name that played Jackie Kennedy, but she had like some line in one of the episodes where it was like the public has um, like, what was the quote? The public has um, in one hand, they're like ready to praise you. And in the other hand, they're ready to like throw a stone at you. And it's just so true because I, I feel like that's how he felt. Like I feel like people were all up in his shit all the time.
And I kinda like, I feel, I don't know. I felt bad for them.
When he, when he didn't pass the bar and the guy was like, it doesn't matter that everyone thinks you're an idiot. Like, how do you feel about yourself? And it's so easy to say like, don't care what other people think, but when everyone's pointing at you being like, you fucking idiot, at some point you're gonna be like, cause I'm an idiot. And I, I do think it was interesting casting. Like he was very, he's like not really, I think this is one of his first projects and he's just like a gorgeous man.
Two weeks before they started filming.
Really? Cause I did.
I think they're both very good actors.
I felt like she was way stronger.
Yeah. I think she's really good. And people being like, oh, she doesn't like, I just said like Lily Collins looks like Audrey Hepburn. People are like, oh, she doesn't really look like Carolyn Basette. See, I find, I think she does.
She does. I think Sarah Pigeon's a star.
I couldn't get my eyes off of her. Also, I love Kevin Kline in the nineties, the style of it all.
Wait, hold on. But Calvin Klein is gay.
I guess he had a wife, if I had a nickel.
No, and this is what I'm talking about.
I'm like, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. You knew though, you knew. There's no way you didn't know.
She got free Calvin Klein, you would do it too.
You've done it.
I have.
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Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy. So that part is already handled in the background.
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I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram, but there's really never any planning behind it and you know I hate a workout class. That's why I've been loving the Ladder app. I can open it and my workout is already planned and I can do it anywhere. You have an expert coach and you know exactly what exercises you're doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in-ear coaching gives you cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like you have a personal trainer in your headphones. I've been using this for a while now and I also feel and see. Myself getting stronger each day because of ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now. So that will definitely be my next workout venture.
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Speaking of fashion, this feels like made up because the fashion industry is like, we just have to, we're running out of animals print. And they're like, we're doing Bambi, we're doing deer chic now. We're doing fawn print. Like they are, they're gonna do squirrels next.
Sorry, it's, it's fawn February, get into it, get into it.
Such like a marketing ploy. Like, yeah, I do actually love it. Like it looks cute. But like, they're literally gonna be like, and it's raccoon march.
I saw a raccoon the other day on the street, literally trying to domesticate its own self.
Oh, they have thumbs.
No, literally someone was like, wait, I feel like this raccoon shouldn't be like awake right now. It's like 11 a.m. in the morning. I was that person. I was like, um, I'd be like, that raccoon has rabies because I'm pretty sure they're nocturnal, but anyway.
You're like, that raccoon just called Uber Eats. I don't think that's normal.
That raccoon just rang the doorbell. He's like, I want to come in.
Wait, what were we just talking about? Because I was gonna say something before you brought up raccoons. Oh.
As someone who also loves, like, I love trying a trend. I actually like the Bambi like thing. My thing is, one item of clothing will go viral and then every influencer will have it. And I'm like,
Yeah, are we on an email list?
Where did, who even makes it? What is that brand? And here, I'm an influencer, like, I should know. But I'm like, where'd you guys all get this jacket?
Well, yeah, you'll see something you like and then you realize everyone's already worn it.
Yeah. So then I'm like, okay, well, let me just see where it is. And then you go on, it's like preorder. And it's like, okay, well, I don't want the jacket in June.
Or it's like seven thousand dollars for something that's like nylon.
The internet is weird. Everyone's weird.
What do you think about hair tucking? Like, people being like, it's really cool to put a jacket and keep your hair tucked in. Like,
The Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen tuck has, has been trending for 10 years.
Yeah. And also you get like a faux bob.
I'm really confused on why everyone's like, oh, my God, the hair tuck.
Because they'll make anything into an aesthetic. Leave Bambi out of this.
Well, you know what also is trending? The everyday tiara. So girls just wearing tiaras, like, on a Tuesday for no reason. Like, in different kind, like Fashion Week, apparently, it was like a thing. Which, like, I'm not gonna take away from women's joy. I feel like it's something you would do.
Yeah. I actually,
You've done.
I'm actually waiting for this to come on trend and I didn't know that it was happening. And now I need to go on Amazon because that is so something I could get down with.
Well, did you see Hailey Bieber's most recent cover shoot where her hair was, like, purposely unbrushed and, like, knotted?
Yeah. You were like, it's my time to show.
Yes. Or I was like, okay, copyright infringement. Like,
Okay, so I'm a style icon. Actually, I'm timeless. Also, one of the funny things about like the Carolyn Bissette, like, oh my god, dressed like Carolyn Bissette.
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
Which like, obviously, yeah, she has great style. But her style isn't trendy. I would say she's like the least trendy person ever. Like, she truly was like the epitome of a fashion girl that worked at a brand. But like, her outfits had to be muted because it was about the other clothes.
But people on TikTok get so like, oh, I can't believe girls are making like videos about Carolyn Bissette's style. Like, they don't have any, it's like, you can't do anything as a woman. You can't like it, you can't dislike it, you can't try and dress like it. You can't, like, it's so crazy.
You can't win a gold medal.
No, you can't.
You can't do anything as a woman. You truly cannot. There will always be someone yelling at you. And most of the time, it is another woman, which is like really upsetting to me.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Girl on girl crime.
Anyhow.
I have a gripe to bring up.
Okay.
Actually, I have a petition.
Actually, I have a bill that I need passed.
I have a bill. Let's stop putting hand soap next to hand lotion.
In public?
In, in, in public bathrooms, in hotel bathrooms. How many times do you go to wash your hand and you click the hand lotion? Also, who's using hand lotion in these airport bathrooms?
I'm gonna disagree with you on this. Because the moment I got a guest bathroom, the minute I said, oh, this guest bathroom is going to be so fucking cool. I've got soap, I've got hand lotion, I've got skincare, I've got, you come to my apartment, you go in the guest bathroom, you're never leaving. You're not leaving. You're stealing all the things I have in there.
Nothing ruins my day more than realizing I'm washing my hands with lotion. And then I not only wasted lotion, but now I have like sperm kind of texture on my hands.
You know, you and my mom are very similar. Like, I gave my mom a bunch of products one day and she was like, "Oh, I'm like using this one product, but it's like really drying me out." And I'm like, "Well, how are you using it?" And she's like, "Well, I'm just like putting it on and then like it's drying me out." And I'm like, "Well, maybe, because that's a face wash and not a lotion, mother, and you're putting it on and then it's drying because it's a soap."
You're like, "Kim, that's hydrogen peroxide. Can't just put it in your eye."
I'm like, "Well, why don't you just like read the label?" So my thing to you is, why don't you just read the goddamn label?
Because they make it look too... First of all, I'm always in a rush. I'm always rushing. And they make it, like, put it in red blinking lights. The aesthetics always the same. They're next... At least put him... I don't know, put it somewhere else, like where I can't reach it. Because I inevitably will always... It's like when you take conditioner accidentally and you start trying to put it as shampoo. Do you never do that?
Never. Never. No.
See, this is a daily thing for me. I was... Oh, my god.
Never. Because you want to know what? In my shower, one row is just shampoo. The other row is just my conditioners. Then I have like... So everything has a row. Everything has a home.
It's giving American Psycho.
No, sometimes I think I could be... I could have a little... People could be right. I could have something a little bit wrong with me.
Do you have Virgo in your chart?
I don't. And I saw you post your Ask Me Anything that you have a little Virgo in your chart. And I don't... Are you on the... Are you on the cusp? Because I don't see that for you. My best friend in high school, one of my best friends in high school, she was a Virgo. And when I tell you, her notebook.
I've never seen a notebook like this. First of all, her handwriting, spectacular. Her highlighting, her outlines. She went on actually to be a teacher, as she should.
So Virgos come in all shapes and forms. Tell me, when it comes to my work, not my personal life, my work, am I not on the ball?
True.
Like responding to emails, having things ready by deadlines. That's where my Virgo comes out.
That's actually very true. You are very on top of your career.
They're also a little obsessive Virgos, like they're detail oriented. You know how like random things, I'll be like, I need to get this right.
Yeah. No, you can like obsess. I think if you like really went to a doctor, you could be diagnosed a little bit with OCD.
No, I fully have OCD. N A, N A, N A C H A D, A D H D.
And you have a torn ACL.
Wait, one more thing about Carolyn.
She had to do this character where there's literally like only five seconds of footage of Carolyn Baset ever talking on camera.
Yeah, like she had, yeah.
So she had to just like read lots of books. Um, so that is also the hard part.
I would assume her, their families weren't like involved where it's like she couldn't ask, like, oh, what was she like?
The accuracy, so the accuracy you have to take with a grain of salt for this.
And a lot of people are, have like come out and been like, okay, their love story was actually like super toxic.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, oh, you know.
Stuart, who was on the road with me, told me, there's a really good podcast to listen to about the Kennedy men. There's a podcast somewhere, I'll put it in the newsletter about the Kennedy men and like there's, there's lore there.
Well, it's from this show, it really does seem like
JFK Junior didn't want to be in like politi- like it doesn't seem like he wanted to be a lawyer. It actually seems like he liked art and like he liked
He wanted to be an actor.
Film and TV. Yeah. So that like, that alone makes me sad for him. Like, I couldn't imagine being born into a family and it's like. Like how like the Royals do it, like remember when Prince Harry left and everyone was like death to Prince Harry?
And it's like, okay, guys chill out. He wants to just like pick strawberries with his wife.
Also, he had this sad moment where he, not to like be a nepo baby, um, apologist, but he was like, by twenty-six, my dad already like had been a war veteran, like, got his degrees, had kids, like all these things.
JFK Junior saying this?
About his dad.
And he's like, and I'm twenty-eight and I have nothing. And it's like, he didn't ask to be put on that, like have that kind of ex-
Pressure.
Pressure and like expectations. So he feels like a fucking loser, even though he's just living his life.
That's why I do have a little sympathy for Brooklyn Beckham. Like I do feel a little bit bad for him because I'm like, I couldn't, I wonder what it's like having two of the most famous people in England be your parents for two like very specific genres of things. And then it's, people are like, and what do you do?
And I feel like-
Like I feel there's so much pressure.
Cause it's not relatable. People don't talk about it, like how to raise your kids if you're famous. Like, I don't know, maybe there's like-
I don't know how they would do that.
A book that like Reese Witherspoon is like passing around to her friends, but like, I feel like there's a Google Doc.
That Reese is like, hold on, here's what you do.
Reese Witherspoon has a Google Doc she's sending to famous moms, um, on how to raise kids. But it's like, there's no like rulebook that we know of, of how to not raise kids who are fucked up. And some of them, just because if they're really successful nepo babies, still doesn't mean they're not fucked up.
I do low-key sometimes feel really bad for certain nepo babies. People are really mean to, some more than others. I kind of feel like if you were a nepo, if you're a nepo baby and no one's heard of you until like you literally do what your job is, people are like more okay. Where like,
Like people are so mean to Hailey Bieber, but I feel like it's because they saw her in the press, like grow up.
People also don't want to see you trying to get your dreams as a nepo baby.
No, they don't.
Like they don't want to see you attempting, um, and they also don't want to see you say, I don't have an advantage from being a nepo baby, which like they shouldn't say that stuff, which made me think about-
Like hate on Addison Rae.
All these people hate nepo babies, but then you also hate people who come from TikTok. So who's allowed to do well?
I love Addison Rae.
It's a lose lose. Like if you, so what's the right way to come up? You have to wait for a powerful director to pick you randomly out of a hat?
You know what's funny is after we were talking about Cardi B and how she was like on reality TV, I literally got like served a TikTok clip of one of the like male DJs on Love and Hip Hop being like, "I'll never take Cardi B seriously." And then the edit was like her winning her first Grammy.
No, I'm crying again.
It's also like, I do think, not to bring it back to like, everyone hates women, but I do think people are way harder on female nepo babies than male.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I can't even think of a boy nepo baby right now.
Besides Brooklyn Beckham.
It's like, I can't think of, like, one doesn't immediately pop into my head, is what I'm saying.
Because people just like aren't, it's, maybe it's like not as fun being mean to men on the internet. I don't know. I find it enjoyable, but I don't.
You're like, we should dabble in it. Maybe try it out.
Like, watching some things on the internet where you're like, you're letting him get away with that? That's crazy, because if a girl did that, you would have had her canceled four days ago. She would have been done.
The steak would have been on fire.
Well, on that positive note.
And that's all we have for today.
We're gonna leave you with that, just to think about. Um, thank you guys so much for giggling with us, and we'll talk to you later this week. Bye.
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Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated