Nicole Lynn On Breaking Down Industry Barriers & Accomplishing Your Goals EP 1142

Today's guest is Nicole Lynn, who In 2019, became the first Black woman to represent a Top 3 NFL draft pick (and only the second woman in history to solo represent a NFL first rounder). The following year, Nicole made history representing back-to-back Top 10 NFL draft picks. Outside of the sports world, she represents multiple clients in the entertainment industry. Most recently, Lynn joined Klutch Sports Group as senior agent and president of football operations. In this episode Lewis and Nicole discuss the goal setting strategy you can use to achieve success, how to find and pursue your purpose, how to build self-confidence when you don’t have any, the greatest lessons Nicole has learned in her career, and so much more! For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1142Check out her website: www.agentnicolelynn.comCheck out her book: Agent You: Show Up, Do the Work, and Succeed On Your Own TermsThe Wim Hof Experience: Mindset Training, Power Breathing, and Brotherhood: https://link.chtbl.com/910-podA Scientific Guide to Living Longer, Feeling Happier & Eating Healthier with Dr. Rhonda Patrick: https://link.chtbl.com/967-podThe Science of Sleep for Ultimate Success with Shawn Stevenson: https://link.chtbl.com/896-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 1,142 with NFL sports agent Nicole Lynn. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:29Lewis Howes?

  Oprah said, "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." And Alice Walker said, "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." My guest today is Nicole Lynn, who in 2019 became the first black woman to represent a top three NFL draft pick, and only the second woman in history to solo represent an NFL first-rounder. The following year, Nicole made history representing back-to-back top 10 NFL draft picks. And outside of the sports world, she represents multiple clients in the entertainment industry as well. Most recently, Lynn joined Klutch Sports Group as Senior Agent and President of Football Operations. And she's written a new book called Agent You: Show Up, Do the Work, and Succeed on Your Own Terms.

• 1:14Lewis Howes?

  And Nicole's story is incredibly fascinating and inspiring, and I'm so excited for you to hear this one. And in this episode, we discuss the goal-setting strategy that you can use to achieve success, how to find and pursue your own purpose, how to build self-confidence when you don't have any, the greatest lesson Nicole has learned in her career, and so much more. And we also go through a session where I challenge Nicole to see how she can upgrade the different parts of her life and becoming even greater at what she does in every area of her life. And I think you'll find that part fascinating as well. If you're inspired by this, make sure to share this with someone that you think would be inspired to hear this as well. And a quick reminder, if this is your first time here, make sure to follow the School of Greatness. You can subscribe over on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere that you are listening to podcasts.

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  And I'm going to be shouting out some more of you who are leaving reviews over on Apple Podcasts as well. So please leave a review over there of the part during this interview that is most inspiring from you. And this was a recent review from Danny, who said, "The podcast..." Has helped me so much throughout the years. I love hearing Lewis's take on the world and the light he brings every week. So many good lessons and insights each time. Keep it up. This one is from Giselle May, who said, I can't speak highly enough about this podcast and I've been listening to Lewis for over two years. It's become part of my morning routine to walk the dog and listen. And I've changed so many things in my life that weren't fueling me because of this show. And Lewis has helped me take a leap of faith in my career and aspirations. And I'm always looking to learn and grow personally. And this show has given me the courage to go get

• 2:40Lewis Howes?

  what I want in life. And the last one of the week is from Lou, who says, I subscribed to the School of Greatness years ago and had never listened to it until recently while cleaning out my podcast subscriptions. Needless to say, I went down a rabbit hole listening to countless episodes. And this is a great reminder that behind everyone famous or expert or PhD, there is a story, a special gifting, a soul like you and I. And it ties in with Lewis's kind message at the end of each episode. To everyone listening, you are loved. I hope you enjoy this. And again, make sure to leave a review at any point during this episode over on Apple Podcasts. And I'll be doing some more shout outs in the coming episodes. And again, in just a moment, the one and only, Nicole Lynn.

• 3:25Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We've got Nicole Lynn in the house. Good to see you, Nicole.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Good to see you.

• 3:32Lewis Howes?

  Very excited about this. You've, you've broken so many barriers and molds to being one of the, you know, first female agents to really have top draft picks in the NFL. You've got 19 NFL clients. And like you said, you've got multiple influencers, rappers, comedians, pro softball players. You're just taking over in the athlete world. And I'm excited that you're here. Also, have your law degree, you're in the financial services for many years, and you came from poverty, which I think is fascinating. I'm curious. Coming, growing up without having an abundance of money and coming from this place of scarcity and poverty, how did you train your mindset to think more of abundance mindset financially around money?

• 4:14Lewis Howes?

  How did you change the conversation or the ideas in your mind? How did you learn about money differently?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  You know, it's funny because I don't know that it ever really changed. You know, I always say I still kind of have a poor kid mentality.

• 4:27Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:28Speaker 01

  No matter how successful I've been or how much money I've made, I still have this weird fear of going back.

• 4:33Lewis Howes?

  Gosh.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  So my mindset, it hasn't, it's something I struggle with.

• 4:36Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:37Speaker 01

  It's something I'm really working on. You know, I, I talk a lot in interviews about, you know, balancing these two jobs I had. I worked as a sports agent and a lawyer, two separate jobs, not at one company. One was at the number three law firm in the world and one was at a top sports agency. And I did that because of money. And my husband would be like, we're good, you can leave that job. But it was, it was this weird fear. So I would say-

• 4:58Lewis Howes?

  You mean you worked double jobs because of money? Because you wanted to make sure you had enough?

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, because being a sports agent costs a lot of money. People don't know that.

• 5:05Lewis Howes?

  You're traveling, you've got expenses, you have to wait for contractors to come in, do you get your commissions?

• 5:09Speaker 01

  And then you've got to train the players. And each player could cost you 25 grand to 100 grand and it comes out of your own pocket.

• 5:15Lewis Howes?

  Getting ready for the draft.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Getting ready for the draft, exactly. And so in order to front that money, I had to have another job.

• 5:21Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  And so even when I got to the position where I had, you know, multiple first round picks and I was doing fine, I still wouldn't leave the job. I wouldn't leave the law job because my mindset about money never changed. You know, it was always in my mind like it was, it was something that I was scarce and also something I felt like I had to hoard.

• 5:37Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  So it even took me a very long time to get to the point of, okay, now I need to invest my money. Even though I have a background in finance, I know you shouldn't hoard your money, but when you grew up poor-

• 5:48Lewis Howes?

  I know. I felt this for like a decade.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  It's just, it's different. And people would say, you know better.

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Right? I've got my series seven, my series 63, I could trade on the stock market, I know better.

• 5:59Lewis Howes?

  But you just kept it in savings account?

• 6:00Speaker 01

  It's like hiding it under your mattress.

• 6:03Lewis Howes?

  Not doing anything for you.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Nothing, nothing.

• 6:05Lewis Howes?

  This is dying for you.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's sad.

• 6:08Lewis Howes?

  So, when did you start to shift and say, okay, I can't hoard this. I need to shift the mindset and actually like invest in myself or invest in, not that you weren't investing yourself, but investing their money. And being willing to spend some of it to really create more of it.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  I think it was me just saying, hey, I've got to take a leap of faith.

• 6:25Lewis Howes?

  When was this?

• 6:27Speaker 01

  This was like six months ago.

• 6:28Lewis Howes?

  Wow, okay.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I had visited my 401k and like kind of, but to really say, hey, here's a big bulk of like this, here's the money that's in my savings account and I'm going to get a financial advisor. You know, I felt like I could handle it all. And so I finally said, I'm going to get a financial advisor. And they were like, this money's been in your account this whole time.

• 6:46Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  And it's embarrassing because I represent athletes and I teach them financial literacy. If I had an athlete that had that amount of money in their account, I would lose it. I would lose it.

• 6:55Lewis Howes?

  But you weren't doing it for yourself.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 6:57Lewis Howes?

  Isn't that interesting?

• 6:58Speaker 01

  It's crazy. And I know the financial advisor kept saying, I feel like I'm repping one of your athletes right now. He's like, you know better. I'm like, I know, but that when you grow up poor, your mentality, you have this fight or flight all the time, you know, this fear. And so I always wanted to make sure I had resources.

• 7:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, available at all times.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  At all times.

• 7:17Lewis Howes?

  I felt this way for so long. After I was talking about this off camera after playing arena football. I had this surgery and I was on my sister's couch for about six months. And for about a year and a half, I just wasn't making any money. So I was on my sister's couch for about six months recovering. Then I lived at my brother's place playing 250 a month, just trying to like, where am I going next?

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Hustling.

• 7:37Lewis Howes?

  Hustling for a year and a half, making nothing. Finally, at the end of the year and a half, making like maybe a couple thousand dollars a month. But it wasn't enough to like really survive and live off of and thrive. And I started to make more over the next few years to where I was like, okay, I have money in the bank. I'm good for a couple of years, but I would still like take, you know, Greyhound buses and like Southwest middle seat back in the plane, like multiple connections. I would never get a hotel room, never until maybe like four or five years ago.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  That's too far. I don't do that. I get a hotel room.

• 8:10Lewis Howes?

  Well, as a guy, I was like, whose couch can I sleep on? I was just like, who do I know in what city? Who can pick me up, everything?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:17Lewis Howes?

  Who can I get some free food from? But it was like I had the money.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's that your mindset never changed.

• 8:22Lewis Howes?

  It's weird.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  And I feel like I'm the same way. It's like I'm just now getting to the point where I'm like, okay. I have got to practice what I preach.

• 8:28Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Right? I know, I know how this works, so I've got to actually put into action, so.

• 8:32Lewis Howes?

  What do you think is the biggest thing holding you back from going all in on that kind of abundance mindset?

• 8:38Speaker 01

  Gosh, I mean, I think it's fear. I think it's fear. I think it's fear of going back, which is not going to happen. It's, it's, it's, it's not going to happen, but for some reason, there's just this like, what if? I don't have a plan B. I don't have anything to lean on. I didn't grow up with a trust fund or parents with money, so it's, it's me or it's nothing. You know?

• 8:59Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What would you think was the biggest myth about money that you were taught growing up or you saw in the world?

• 9:06Speaker 01

  Uh, gosh, I, it was so weird to me because I used to think, I had this code with my mom when I'd go to a friend's house and I'd say, "They have six chairs at their dining room table." That was our code, like, to say they were rich.

• 9:18Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, I'm staying at a friend's house and maybe she'd never been there and I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, they have six chairs." Not four, not two, they have six. You know, or I'd see a friend that had a two-story house and it's like, "Oh, my gosh, they're millionaires." And so it was just these small things, which were very common in society, that for me felt like, wow, that's when you know you made it. You know, that's when you know you, you have money. Um, but really, you meet millionaires, you meet people that are wealthy and they don't show their wealth. You have no idea. Yeah.

• 9:46Lewis Howes?

  Some of them, I would, some of them don't. Yeah, it depends what type of person they are, how they got, how they got their money.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Is it new money or old money?

• 9:51Lewis Howes?

  You got the money quick? Yeah, maybe, who knows? That's interesting. So, your book's called, "Aid You Show Up, Do the Work, and Succeed on Your Own Terms." So, how do you need to show up and do the work in your own life right now to get to the next level for yourself?

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh, this is like a therapy session. So many ways I need to show up. I mean, I think continually to make good decisions financially, right? So, knock down the fear. Are you writing that down? While you're holding me accountable?

• 10:16Lewis Howes?

  Taking notes, yeah.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  I'm not mad at that. Okay. Taking some risks. I'd say taking more risks, specifically financially, but.

• 10:23Lewis Howes?

  What's the risk you haven't yet fully taken yet?

• 10:26Speaker 01

  I mean, I did, I just took the biggest risk six weeks ago, leaving my law firm. So, that was huge.

• 10:30Lewis Howes?

  You just left?

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Just left.

• 10:32Lewis Howes?

  So, you finally went all in on your, the main thing you want to go on?

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Six weeks ago, so I just took a huge risk. It was like, I'm going all in on sports and I'm gonna do just one job.

• 10:42Lewis Howes?

  Cause that was bringing in, I'm assuming, a nice, you know, six or plus figure salary. And it was like the security blanket, right?

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Yes, every two weeks, this is what you're getting. In sports, it's these, you know, they give a big chunk and then, God forbid, you lose a player and it's gone.

• 10:57Lewis Howes?

  So what do you think, how do you think that was holding you back from not going all in sooner?

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Well, I think I wasn't able to give my entire time and my entire, you know, just, I don't know, mentality to this one job. I was split. Like even my anxiety and stress was split.

• 11:14Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  And so being able to finally go all in on one, I feel like, I mean, that's what was holding me back from, I think, greatness. People see me now and say, "Oh, you're so successful." I'm like, "Well, imagine if I didn't have another job."

• 11:26Lewis Howes?

  But I did with two jobs, yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. So I feel like it really held me back from where I meant to go.

• 11:32Lewis Howes?

  How many years have you been doing both jobs?

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Seven.

• 11:35Lewis Howes?

  Seven years, both?

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Both.

• 11:37Lewis Howes?

  Where do you think you'll be in the next two years by being all in energy, resources, strategy with this one thing?

• 11:45Speaker 01

  I'll probably get in two years what took me seven, is my guess.

• 11:49Lewis Howes?

  Seven with both?

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Seven with both.

• 11:51Lewis Howes?

  You think in two years you'll be able to get...

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Totally. I mean, I was working 70, 80 hours a week at a law firm. This isn't a small law firm, it's a huge international law firm. We had billables we had to meet, I was doing securities fraud litigation, nothing to do with sports.

• 12:04Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 12:05Speaker 01

  And so I'm over here preparing motions and going to trial, and then, oh yeah, I'm a sports agent. So that time, if I can focus it all in, yeah, I think I can do what I did in seven and two.

• 12:15Lewis Howes?

  How did you learn about goal setting growing up? Cause it seems like you don't just accomplish what you accomplished by, I don't know, just accidentally. You had to have some type of framework, or model, or goal setting strategy. How did you think and then act to accomplish all these different things at this stage of your life?

• 12:35Speaker 01

  I don't, you know, I just, I always had a different level of grit. People talk about grit. I didn't have foundation, nobody taught me anything, I didn't have role models. It almost felt like it was in my DNA.

• 12:45Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Because my brother, who grew up with me, went down a very different path. Right? We both, we grew up very poor and a dangerous situation, and he went down what the statistics would say. And so I don't know what made me go this way and I and I'm always asked that and I've kind of tried to dig deep and I feel like it's just grit.

• 13:04Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Which is something people have and some people don't.

• 13:07Lewis Howes?

  Do you have like a framework for when you set and accomplish goals? Are you like, I'm gonna be a lawyer at this date and I'm gonna be a sport, I'm gonna get my first big athlete by this time? And then how do you either reverse engineer or strategize those goals to accomplish them?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I definitely, I do big picture first, like what's the big goal? I think a lot of people work on smaller goals first. You know, first I'm gonna do this small goal and go up the steps. I'm like, I wanna know what's at the very top of the steps and then go backwards. So if it's, I'm gonna get a first-rounder, well, what is that gonna take? Is that gonna take five seventh-rounders? Is that gonna take getting a job at a top sports agency? Is that gonna take making sure I'm certified in these certain states? I go big and then go backwards.

• 13:47Lewis Howes?

  And that's what you do with everything in terms of?

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:50Lewis Howes?

  When did you know you wanted to be, you know, get the, do law in the first place? And then the financial services, like how were those?

• 13:56Speaker 01

  It was all to kind of reach the same purpose of working with athletes.

• 14:00Lewis Howes?

  So you knew you wanted to work with athletes?

• 14:02Speaker 01

  I always knew.

• 14:02Lewis Howes?

  From the beginning?

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, since I was probably a teenager.

• 14:05Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:06Lewis Howes?

  And you knew law was part of the path?

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Not originally, I mean, I thought I wanted to be a lawyer and then I thought, okay, maybe I wanna be a financial advisor for athletes and that's why I went to Wall Street.

• 14:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  And then when I got there, I interviewed some financial advisors and I realized it's really the agent that's kind of the day-to-day person. And so the minute I determined I was on the right path, the wrong path, I deviated and went to law school.

• 14:27Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Like, three months later, I was taking the LSAT and, you know, for me, it was all about walking in my purpose. That was critical. Didn't matter what I had to do to get there. If I had to leave a six-figure job after growing up poor, I was gonna do it.

• 14:40Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:41Lewis Howes?

  How do you, how do you teach people about discovering their purpose? They have no clue, they feel like they're stuck or in a rut.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Man, well, first it's making sure you realize how important it is, you know, to me-

• 14:50Lewis Howes?

  Your purpose.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, and finding it. Finding your purpose needs to be the most important mission of your life. You know, I always say, if you're not walking in your purpose, you're just working and living to die.

• 15:00Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  And I hope it shakes people to the core when they hear that, right? If you're not walking in your purpose, you're just working and living to die. And so you've gotta figure out what that purpose and calling is. And purpose should not be hard, right? There's all these conversations about finding your purpose and podcasts and blogs. And it's this hard, really tough thing to figure out. It shouldn't be. Your purpose is your superpower. I talk about in my book, I equate it to your superpower. What is the thing that you're naturally great at? The Hulk is strong, right? Superman can fly. When people think about you, what do they say? What is your superpower? You know, and so in my book, I kind of go down several factors of how to get to your purpose. But it shouldn't be, it's not hidden. Everybody has one, you just gotta figure it out.

• 15:41Lewis Howes?

  If someone is thinking, well, I don't know what that is still. Like I can't, I haven't been able to figure it out. I have, or maybe I've got so many passions, I'm not sure which one to choose. I want to do it all, or I'm not sure what I'm good at. Do you suggest they ask their friends or family? Do you suggest they get feedback from someone and say, well, what do you see in front in me?

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I absolutely, I always say, ask your friends and family. Ask the people closest to you. What am I great at? And what's the first thing you think of when you think of me? Right? And if you have, you want me to do a favor for you, right? When you have a favor you need, you have different friends, you call for different things. What's the, the perfect favor for me? Right? Am I the person that you're calling in the moment when you need help budgeting? Or, or am I someone that comes through in the clutch? Because I'm just, I'm always there. You know, purpose doesn't have to be your day job. You know, your purpose could be providing support to a spouse, you know? It could be a hobby. It could be a number of things.

• 16:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What about, um, biggest, biggest myths on finding your dream job? And does that line up with figuring out what your purpose is? Or is that different in your mind?

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Biggest myths? I think people see the dream job. People get the dream job and they think of an overnight success. You know, especially like even with me, they're like, oh, you know, one day she was no one. And now she's got these top players and she works for this top sports agency.

• 17:02Lewis Howes?

  It took years.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, they don't, they don't see what happened in, in private to get there. You know, they, they see this overnight success. And you have to take sometimes a lot of jobs you hate to get to your dream job.

• 17:13Lewis Howes?

  To figure out what you don't want.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:15Lewis Howes?

  Figure out what you do want.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. So there's a lot of grueling work and kind of saying, hey, I hate this, I hate this. You know, crossing off the list until you sometimes get to that dream job. I knew what I always wanted to do, but I think I'm the exception.

• 17:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  That's not the rule. Most people do not know.

• 17:31Lewis Howes?

  So you have to try stuff that you don't like for a while.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 17:33Lewis Howes?

  And then just don't stay there.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 17:35Lewis Howes?

  Keep course correcting. What about the biggest adversity you've ever faced? What was that in your life? And how did you mentally and emotionally overcome it?

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh. I mean, my childhood just generally is a lifetime movie. So I have a list of adversities. You know, I think even at seven, eight years old, my biggest challenge was figuring out what I was gonna eat for dinner.

• 17:55Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:55Speaker 01

  You know, and trying to be creative and taking home food from the school. Right? You know, okay, which milk won't spoil that I can keep for a day or two? And navigating that for myself and my younger brother. You know, I think, yeah, the biggest adversities for me were staying alive as a kid. And figuring that, figuring that out. And, you know, it's just, it's so weird, because I just, I felt like I was a parent so early. I grew up so quickly. And so the adversities were there, but, you know, I treated it as if this is just a day job. It's like, okay, we've got to figure out what we're gonna eat. Let's keep it pushing.

• 18:28Lewis Howes?

  As an eight-year-old?

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy saying it now, out loud.

• 18:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  It's my, my husband's always like, you know, those stories you tell, they're not normal.

• 18:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  You need to go to therapy.

• 18:41Lewis Howes?

  And what were your, what were your parents at during this time? But what was that experience like?

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Not there. You know, dealing with some, dealing with mental health and others, you know, they're just not around. Not there. We raised, really raised ourselves.

• 18:54Lewis Howes?

  Really? Were they in the home? Or is it, were you staying with the people?

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, we, you know, we were, you know, I, we lived with my dad, but he was never around. And so we kind of were just there all day raising ourselves. And, you know, we didn't come home to people checking our homework and, you know, which is odd, because we did well in school. So it's like, where did that?

• 19:15Lewis Howes?

  Huh, how did you, how did you?

• 19:16Speaker 01

  Where did the motivation come from?

• 19:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  I don't know. I think just, yeah, something, I feel like, I always say it's like my DNA.

• 19:21Lewis Howes?

  Did you have teachers that were supportive or coaches or mentors at school that were kind of like looking after you?

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. I had a librarian, one librarian, I remember that would like sneak stuff to me to take home. Because she was aware. So she'd say like, oh, this is my granddaughter's sweatshirt. You know, why don't you have it?

• 19:37Lewis Howes?

  That's nice.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  And so, but besides her, no. I actually feel like the school system dropped the ball. Yeah.

• 19:44Lewis Howes?

  Who was the most influential person in your life growing up?

• 19:48Speaker 01

  You know, I didn't have anybody. I hate, I hate that question because I get asked that or like, who was your role model? And I wish I, I almost thought about lying and picking someone, but there was just no one. Like, growing up, I didn't see people that were lawyers and doctors. I mean, based on where I grew up and, you know, it just, that wasn't there. We weren't exposed to that.

• 20:07Lewis Howes?

  So there was no teacher, there was no family friend, there was no, no one that was really an inspiration for you?

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Maybe when I got to high school, early on, you know, elementary and junior high, no. I got to high school, I mean, I think the teachers there, I went to a magnet school and it was inspiring to see kind of how many students were able to make it out that had similar circumstances. Yeah.

• 20:31Lewis Howes?

  What was the biggest lesson you learned, um, growing up then, before you got into college and after, after high school? The biggest lesson in your teen and early years?

• 20:40Speaker 01

  I mean, oh gosh, all the lessons I learned were boring stuff, like, you know, how to raise your credit, how to, how to finance a car. I mean, those are the things I was doing pretty young to, to survive.

• 20:52Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, how to make a forged driver's license, how to make a fake tag for your car so you can drive it, because you can't afford tags.

• 20:59Lewis Howes?

  A forged driver's license?

• 21:00Speaker 01

  It's a whole nother story.

• 21:01Lewis Howes?

  So why did you have to forge this?

• 21:03Speaker 01

  Because I was 14 and I had to get to my magnet school, which was across the

• 21:06Lewis Howes?

  So you were driving at 14?

• 21:07Speaker 01

  I was, I was.

• 21:08Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I, I got into the magnet school, the number one school in the state, which is on the other side of town. And so I took city buses to get there. And finally, I ended up getting a job at Chick-fil-A, which is the only place that hires 14 year olds. Saved every check, bought a Dodge Neon for $2,500.

• 21:25Lewis Howes?

  At 14?

• 21:26Speaker 01

  14.

• 21:27Lewis Howes?

  That's crazy.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  And then?

• 21:29Lewis Howes?

  You just made that much money at 14 and then saved your money and bought a car so you could drive?

• 21:33Speaker 01

  So I can go to the best school in the state.

• 21:35Lewis Howes?

  That is nuts. No one was willing to drive you? There was no like?

• 21:38Speaker 01

  We didn't have, I didn't have anybody.

• 21:39Lewis Howes?

  Holy cow.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  I didn't have anybody. So, and then learned how to, you know, get your car insurance and?

• 21:45Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh. Wait, how did you not get, can you buy a car at 14? Like, how does that even work?

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, you just gotta have connections.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Hustling.

• 21:54Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh. So, how did you even learn to drive?

• 21:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 21:59Lewis Howes?

  That's gotta be, I was scared at seventeen when I got my license, like on the highway.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  I would start on the, I mean, I remember starting on the streets and just like going places to get, you know, my brother, he went to school around the corner, so learning to take him.

• 22:11Lewis Howes?

  Did you take classes in driving or was it just you just jumped in?

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Not at fourteen, you can't take classes at fourteen, but I didn't have a choice.

• 22:17Lewis Howes?

  No one taught you like, okay, this is how you do it?

• 22:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh, that's crazy.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  No, no, but they didn't teach, I mean, that, that's not, that is the least shocking of the things I was not taught.

• 22:26Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:28Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh, that's crazy.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:31Lewis Howes?

  I didn't know that about you. What is, what's the thing you're most proud of that most people don't know about you that you've overcome or done?

• 22:39Speaker 01

  What am I most proud of? Hmm, that's a really tough question. You know, I'm proud of where I've gotten to in the sports industry. I'm proud of that. I worked on a, as an attorney, I worked on a bunch of pro bono cases and so, one of the cases, we worked on someone that was on death row and he actually ended up getting out.

• 23:02Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  So, really proud to have worked on that team. I was a very small piece of the team, but give me back.

• 23:06Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Give me back.

• 23:08Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:10Lewis Howes?

  And where's your brother now?

• 23:13Speaker 01

  So, my brother is, two brothers. One I talk about in the book, who actually was killed, gang violence, and so that happened when I was in law school.

• 23:23Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  And then my other brother, who was going down the same kind of track, I moved him to, moved him in with me when I was in law school to kind of change his life after I lost one brother.

• 23:32Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  And so now he's in like an aviation mechanic school, I've been putting him through, trying to really get, turn his life around, so, he's on his way, but it took a while for him to get there. You know, we grew up in the same circumstances and like I said, he went down the way that statistically you'd think he would, and I went this way. Without any parental guidance, we just both went our separate ways and so, I easily could have been him. So I gave him a lot of grace. Yeah. Easily could have been him.

• 23:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, one or two wrong decisions, yeah.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:03Lewis Howes?

  What's your thoughts on risk-taking? Because it sounds like you've taken a lot of risks from an early age and done things that maybe weren't the norm from where you're from. And it sounds like now you're taking even more risks, leaving this other career going on and this mission and purpose of yours. What's your viewpoint on assessing risk, taking risk? How much risk should we take as humans?

• 24:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think risks are really important. You know, I actually talk about this in my book, The Hail Mary. You know what a Hail Mary is, you know? Obviously, it's a forward pass that is gut-wrenching. I think everybody has professional and personal Hail Marys in their life that they have to take, like really big moments that they have to just jump out on a limb. Like, for me, it was leaving Wall Street, right? That was my Hail Mary. I think it's important that we do that, but that it's timed correctly. So when I took that Hail Mary, or when I left my law job, which is another big Hail Mary, I was saving and paying down debt and making sure that the risk was calculated.

• 25:01Lewis Howes?

  It wasn't just like, I'm broke, I'm gonna go do this and...

• 25:04Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. It was very much I planned in advance for it.

• 25:10Lewis Howes?

  What do you feel like is your superpower?

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Oh, man. I think I have more than one superpower, actually.

• 25:15Lewis Howes?

  What are your multiple superpowers?

• 25:16Speaker 01

  I'm invisible. I'm just kidding.

• 25:18Lewis Howes?

  You're invisible?

• 25:19Speaker 01

  I'm just kidding. Let's say I can see through people, no?

• 25:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  You know, I think my superpower is that I'm able to... I have a weird ability to get people to kind of go to their full potential.

• 25:32Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Right, like, I can talk to you and figure out, okay, what is your purpose? And somehow motivate you to move towards that, to take that first step.

• 25:40Lewis Howes?

  How do you motivate people to do that?

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Finding a way to make sure that they believe in themselves. Like, how can I believe in them so that they believe in themselves?

• 25:48Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  And I think, again, we talked about purpose. Everybody has a purpose. Everybody has a calling. And I don't think a lot of people realize that. They think, oh, I'm just here for no reason. So, once I can convince you, yes, you have a purpose, and you should be working towards it, and it is achievable... I can get you to move.

• 26:05Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:06Lewis Howes?

  Have you always believed in yourself, or did you doubt yourself a lot?

• 26:09Speaker 01

  No, I've always believed in myself.

• 26:11Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, even in the circumstances I grew up in, I knew I would, I just always would say, no, I'm gonna be rich one day, or I'm gonna be successful one day. I didn't know exactly what that looked like, but it was almost like I was a fed up kid. I'm like, I'm not doing this.

• 26:26Lewis Howes?

  You're not living this life.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Not living this kind of life.

• 26:28Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 26:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I've always, I've always kind of known, and I think my confidence has helped me a lot.

• 26:35Lewis Howes?

  How does someone build self-belief when they've doubted themselves their whole life?

• 26:39Speaker 01

  I mean, it sounds like the imposter syndrome, right? Like especially women deal with the imposter syndrome all the time. Although I'm confident in myself, it doesn't mean in isolated moments, I don't feel like an imposter. So for me, building belief is sometimes faking it till you make it, right? It's like, I may not be comfortable in the room, but I'm gonna be the most prepared person in the room, and I'm gonna fake it until I get to that point. So, I mean, I remember in football, before I learned the game, like texting my husband, I mean, years ago, at the time, he was like my boyfriend, like, tell me what to say, you know? Literally putting, you know, faking it, and I was confident, and then at night, I'm watching film like crazy, and I'm learning the CBA, and so, yeah, part of combating the imposter syndrome is just being over-prepared.

• 27:23Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  You know?

• 27:24Lewis Howes?

  The more prepared you are, the more confident you become.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  Exactly. And it takes time.

• 27:28Lewis Howes?

  Were you, so you weren't big into football growing up?

• 27:30Speaker 01

  No, not at all.

• 27:30Lewis Howes?

  So why did you say like, football is gonna be my mechanism for delivering my purpose? Why that sport mainly?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  Because the athletes in football, seventy-five percent or so are black, many of which had a very similar upbringing as me. And I wanted to reach people with my upbringing, people that have an opportunity to make a lot of money, that I saw also sometimes go back, like, how could I fix that? And I felt like I could reach more people with that kind of upbringing and, um, story if I was in football. So it was very strategic. I didn't grow up watching football, I'm not some huge football fan. I don't watch football in my free time. It was always about the athlete, and, you know, I represent some rappers. I mean, it's the same, it's the same human over and over and over.

• 28:15Lewis Howes?

  They came from a certain

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:17Lewis Howes?

  Uh, place that you can relate to.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  That I can mentor and, you know.

• 28:21Lewis Howes?

  You wanna make, you wanna make sure that they don't Mismanage their money or what's the stat with NFL players like?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Three out of four within two years.

• 28:29Lewis Howes?

  Go bankrupt within two years or something?

• 28:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, within two years they'll have some type of financial hardship.

• 28:32Lewis Howes?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's ridiculous. And so in my mind, when I used to hear that, I'm like.

• 28:35Lewis Howes?

  How is that possible?

• 28:36Speaker 01

  It didn't make sense. And I used to think, oh, it's the agent's fault. It's definitely the agent's fault. When I get to know that's never gonna happen. But that's not true. There's only so much you can do, you know? This is that human's money.

• 28:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, they're gonna spend it the way they wanna do it. Whether you give them advice or not, they say, okay, and then.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  There's a lot of people you can influence, and it's not just athletes, but entertainers or whatnot. There's a lot that listen and you'll have the one or two that there's nothing you can do.

• 28:59Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think it's so hard for people that maybe grew up in a certain mentality? It's hard for them to listen to that kind of sound advice or not take those impulsive decisions on around money and finances and kind of spending it extravagantly. Why do you think that's the case?

• 29:16Speaker 01

  I don't think there's a lot of sound advice to listen to. I mean, I think a lot of times that the people in their corner or their team are yes people, yes men, yes woman. And so I don't think there's the sound advice that you think there is, you know?

• 29:29Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  It's when financial literacy has never been taught to you, you're just doing what you think makes sense. You've never had money, so you're spending it in case it's gone one day. It's like this frantic like, well, I'm gonna spend it.

• 29:40Lewis Howes?

  What was it you give to your athletes when they're gonna, you know, they're gonna get a lump, a big sum of money?

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Like, what do I tell them?

• 29:47Lewis Howes?

  What do you tell them? What advice do you tell them?

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, to have a financial advisor.

• 29:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  Right? Which I had to tell myself that.

• 29:53Lewis Howes?

  A producer or a financial advisor, yeah.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, have someone that is certified and can help you in managing. You know, I think it's fine to treat yourself once, right? I don't wanna come in and say you shouldn't be able to spend your money. You've worked extremely hard. People have things that they like. Maybe it's cars or shoes or whatever. It's when you overindulge is the problem. You can have a nice car, right? You can have nice clothes, but you don't need 10 nice cars. Yeah, so that's where it's, that's where it becomes an issue. And so kind of finding that balance.

• 30:21Lewis Howes?

  Okay. When you have an athlete, you don't have to name names or anything, but when you have an athlete who maybe is not taking your advice and you see them, you see them, ah, they shouldn't have done this, or I wanted advice on this, but they kept doing it over and over. Do you decide to, I'm gonna stick with this person even if they're gonna blow everything financially? Or you say, listen, we've gotta start making some adjustments for us to keep working together, cuz I want you to be successful long term. And if you go bankrupt in two years, it's gonna make me look bad too.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:49Lewis Howes?

  Do you have those scenarios?

• 30:51Speaker 01

  I never want to leave an athlete hanging, for sure. And so that's something, I mean, I wouldn't walk from a player, but you know, you have to have really tough conversations. And as an agent, it can get scary. Like, a lot of agents are afraid because they don't want to get fired. You know, there's a fine line between, hey, I'm your agent, and then, hey, I'm bossing you around, trying to run your life.

• 31:08Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  And some players are not, you know, open to that, as they should not be. So, for me, it's, you know, I like to have those hard conversations early. And if it continues on a trail that I'm like, oh gosh, this is an avalanche that we can't stop. Intervention, I mean, I'll do anything I can. I'll do anything I can. You know, but sometimes there's, there's only so much you can do.

• 31:30Lewis Howes?

  Right. And what's your greatest personal fear?

• 31:33Speaker 01

  My greatest personal fear, um, actual fear, a lot of my, you know, I have bad anxiety. So, a lot of my fears are irrational, you know?

• 31:42Lewis Howes?

  Like what? What would they be?

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Um, I mean, basic fears, like, I fly a hundred flights a year, and every day, every time I'm on a plane, I hold my breath because I'm like, oh gosh, we're going down. You know, it's the safest form of transportation, but I panic every time. Or if my husband doesn't answer the phone, he's clearly in a ditch somewhere.

• 31:59Lewis Howes?

  Wow, yeah.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  For sure. So, it's really those kind of things that keep me up at night. The things that aren't likely to happen, but I still think about them.

• 32:09Lewis Howes?

  Not negotiating a multimillionaire contract?

• 32:11Speaker 01

  It's not those things. Funny enough, it's not that. I can do that. It's more like the flying.

• 32:16Lewis Howes?

  What are you doing to support overcoming those anxieties or fears?

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it's, it's tough. It's tough. I, I can't say that I've, I'm doing anything actively every single day. I wish I could say I was. Um, kind of living through them. I think having a little bit of fear is okay. It's okay to be afraid. It's when the fear stops you from doing something. So, for me, it's like, I still get on the plane.

• 32:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  Still there. I'm holding my breath. I can't breathe. I'm panicking. Literally have an anxiety attack, but I'm there. I'm on the plane.

• 32:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's not that you're living in fear and then staying at home and not taking the action you want to do.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  The fear's not crippling me.

• 32:53Lewis Howes?

  That's good.

• 32:55Lewis Howes?

  And what's the big dream? What's the big mission for you?

• 32:59Speaker 01

  I mean, for me, the big mission is inspiring future generations, especially women. You know, I really want women and, you know, young people to walk in their purpose and to figure out what their life calling is and to do that every single day. I don't want them to get caught up in, I found a job that pays good money and I can have this type of lifestyle, when it's really not what you're supposed to be doing. So the dream is to inspire and then to work with athletes and be able to mentor them where they can be successful on and off the field 20 years plus.

• 33:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. When should someone know it's time to walk away from the situation? Like, if you're trying these different jobs, you're like, okay, maybe it's a year, three years, but when do you know it's time to walk away?

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Oh, it's tough. You know, I felt like I knew I needed to leave my law firm three years ago.

• 33:44Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's, again, like, we talked about fear and my circumstances growing up and having this poor kid mentality, I stuck around longer than I needed to. I think we usually know. It's about when do we actually act on it? It's not a question of, do you know? You know. You just don't make the move.

• 34:02Lewis Howes?

  Where do you think you'd be if you would have left three years ago?

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Man, I think everything happens for a reason, so I don't know that, I think I'm in the exact right spot I'm supposed to be. I don't think I'd be any more successful had I left three years ago. I got a lot of experience as an attorney that is great and I wouldn't trade for the world. So, yeah, I don't know where I'd be if I had left three years ago. I think I would be healthier as a human. I don't know if my sick...

• 34:25Lewis Howes?

  Because you're just working so much.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, so much stress, you know, just not protecting my mental health, physical health. Yeah, so I'd be, I'd be healthier. I'd be maybe a little happier because I wouldn't be so anxious all the time. I mean, the two jobs really took a toll on me. And so I'm still trying to kind of...

• 34:43Lewis Howes?

  Like recovering from that, a little PTSD almost from just like...

• 34:46Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 34:47Lewis Howes?

  The stress of the...

• 34:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, and always being on, right? Like, when you have two jobs, you're always on. Like, I'd be, when I leave here, I would normally, okay, I've got to, in the Uber, I've got to work on a motion or I've got to... And so kind of retraining my mind that it's okay to have personal time, it's okay to not always be working. Yeah, and so I'm not there yet.

• 35:08Lewis Howes?

  You're honest. You're honest about it. That's good.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:10Lewis Howes?

  How would you coach yourself around Agent You with where you're at right now?

• 35:17Speaker 01

  So in Agent You, one of the chapters is about self-care. And it's

• 35:21Lewis Howes?

  Sounds like you didn't do much of that in the last seven years.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  I'm the worst at self-care. You know, for me, self-care was always looked at as a reward. Right? I felt like it was a reward. And so I had to train myself, and I'm still training myself, to look at it as a priority and not a reward. Like when you work out, right? You work out really hard and you take a shower. Shower feels amazing. But the shower's not a reward. It's necessary. It's a necessary task after a hard task. Same thing as self-care. And so trying to change my mindset to say, this is a necessary task, not a reward, even if it feels great.

• 35:52Lewis Howes?

  What would thirty days of uncomfortable self-care look like for you? Where you did things that you know would give you more energy, more fulfillment, more joy, more love, more peace, less stress? If you did all these things, what would that look like?

• 36:09Speaker 01

  What would they be?

• 36:10Lewis Howes?

  What would that look like on a daily, weekly basis? If it was like, I can't believe I'm actually doing this much self-care, but in the back of my head, I know it's gonna benefit me so much.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  Man, I mean, all I envisioned for myself is panicking the whole time that I'm wasting time, to be honest. Yeah.

• 36:25Lewis Howes?

  But you just said it's necessary to take the shower.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I'm still working on it. I'm still working on it. Yeah. In the book, I talk about this concept of existing and learning to be comfortable with just being alive. Like self-care is saying, I'm okay. It doesn't have to be a massage or getting my nails done. It can be, I'm okay with doing nothing.

• 36:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  Existing.

• 36:42Lewis Howes?

  Not having to be busy.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think Brene Brown calls it like white space or something. And so I try to teach myself, okay, it's okay. Take three minutes and just exist. Just be right here. You're not meditating. You're not spending time with God. You're literally just existing. That's really hard to do.

• 36:56Lewis Howes?

  Just sitting, doing nothing.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Just being present and saying, I'm okay with this moment. For me, that's the hardest thing I do in the day. It's like, okay, don't check your phone. Don't think about anything. It's like, you're losing your mind right now. So for me, I feel like thirty days of just self-care would be panicky for me, but I also think it would be necessary and amazing. Life-changing, probably.

• 37:16Lewis Howes?

  Life-changing.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  I think so. I mean, I think the self-care

• 37:19Lewis Howes?

  What would that be on a daily basis if you were to give yourself a plan? If you were coaching someone else at this moment?

• 37:24Speaker 01

  I would work out every day, because I don't have time to work out much. I travel a lot. I would work out

• 37:30Lewis Howes?

  For thirty days?

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Every day. It doesn't have to be hardcore.

• 37:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, something thirty minutes a night.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  It could be yoga. It could be I would work out every day.

• 37:37Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  I would read some type of like either self-help book. Even if it's like ten fifteen minutes, the bible, or for leisure.

• 37:48Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh, what else?

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Switch it up.

• 37:50Lewis Howes?

  What else would change your life?

• 37:51Speaker 01

  What would cha- oh my gosh, what would change my life? Um, eating healthy.

• 37:57Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:58Speaker 01

  Like literally making sure that everything I put in my body is for fuel.

• 38:02Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Like eating to live, not living to eat, which is my problem.

• 38:08Lewis Howes?

  Interesting, interesting, okay, what else?

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Um, man, doing something that you enjoy.

• 38:16Lewis Howes?

  What are the things you enjoy?

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Man, that's hard.

• 38:20Lewis Howes?

  You just live, like I live to work, to save money, to make money, to help it.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  I know, it's terrible.

• 38:25Lewis Howes?

  What are you, what are things, when you think about the things that bring in the most joy, that's not work-related?

• 38:29Speaker 01

  Um, giving.

• 38:33Lewis Howes?

  What about for you?

• 38:34Speaker 01

  For me, okay, for me.

• 38:35Lewis Howes?

  An activity, a hobby, a sport, watching something.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  I love watching Grey's Anatomy.

• 38:41Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  This is Us, those are two shows that are amazing, best shows on the planet, clearly.

• 38:46Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:47Speaker 01

  So I'd watch those.

• 38:50Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Man, what else would I do, this is ridiculous, I'd get my car cleaned out once a week at least.

• 38:54Lewis Howes?

  Okay. No, it's, but you feel like clean space, you'll feel like, oh, energy.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, clean space is critical.

• 39:02Lewis Howes?

  What else?

• 39:03Speaker 01

  I'd organize a part of my room, like my closet, like reorganize things so that everything's visible and really easy to access.

• 39:13Lewis Howes?

  What else?

• 39:15Speaker 01

  What else would I do? I'd get a massage at least once a week.

• 39:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  I might take a dance class, I like hip-hop dance.

• 39:21Lewis Howes?

  Ooh, okay.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  I'd do that.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  I'd probably sit outside and drink coffee in the morning while I read. If it's not too hot in Houston.

• 39:33Lewis Howes?

  Houston is hot.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's probably what I would do.

• 39:35Lewis Howes?

  It sounds like an amazing list.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:37Lewis Howes?

  What would it look like for you to integrate this for 30 days?

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Man.

• 39:41Lewis Howes?

  And where, what type of agents, partner, friend, leader would you become? After giving to yourself fully, the things that will make you feel more loved and energized after 30 days?

• 39:55Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 39:56Lewis Howes?

  What type of results would you create in the world, the impact with your purpose?

• 40:00Speaker 01

  It'd probably be off the charts. If I, you know, if I'm really showing up as my best self. If I'm not taking care of myself, I know I'm not showing up as my best self. I'm showing up as 80%. I feel like that gets you to 100.

• 40:13Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. What could you create from that space?

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Man, I mean, I think even just being around me would be better. Not even as an agent, but as a friend, as a wife, you know, less triggered. You know, you're less anxious, you're, you know, just nicer generally. I feel like when you take care of yourself, you just have an aura about you. You can kind of tell the people that take care of themselves and do yoga and drink smoothies and the people that don't.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Which are me. But yeah, no, I mean, I think I could, I would, I don't know what that looks like. Cause I've never even done two of those things consistently, but I'm sure it'd be amazing.

• 40:49Lewis Howes?

  I would love to see you take on this challenge for yourself for 30 days.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  That whole list.

• 40:54Lewis Howes?

  The whole list and see at the end of it, what this experiment, do anything for 30 days. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  It's true. People always say that you can do anything for 10 years. I'm like, what?

• 41:03Lewis Howes?

  You did a lot of stuff for decades.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  It's fair, 30 days.

• 41:07Lewis Howes?

  30 days to take care of you? I wonder, I, I, I wonder the magic you'd create in the world by implementing this for 30 days. All these things, even as you were listening to them, I was like, I could sense like, it sounds like a relief and anxious. You're like, if I sat and read and had coffee, but what if someone's calling me in this?

• 41:24Speaker 01

  I know.

• 41:25Lewis Howes?

  What if I was getting massages? I'd be thinking about my clients.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  My to-do list.

• 41:27Lewis Howes?

  What about working out daily? I'd be on my phone checking. It's like you'd have to create a structure in your day where the phone wasn't there and you focused on the workout. You had a trainer train you, so they kept you on check. You had someone help you with the, like, you gotta have support in this.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Accountability would be critical for me.

• 41:44Lewis Howes?

  You gotta have the accountability. For me, I, I hire trainers, I have. Food delivered to me that's healthy, like I set myself up in order to that. And that's why I think investing in yourself in this way could be the greatest thing you do. As you transition from one career

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:00Lewis Howes?

  into all that and this, this would be incredible. I would love to see you do this.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 42:05Lewis Howes?

  I don't know if you're down for the challenge.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 42:07Lewis Howes?

  But I'd love to challenge you.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  I'm always down for a challenge.

• 42:09Lewis Howes?

  I would love to challenge you for thirty days to do each one of these things. I'm gonna send you this list.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm down.

• 42:15Lewis Howes?

  Thirty days.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  I'm down.

• 42:17Lewis Howes?

  You're the one who said that it'd be like exponential results.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel like it would be. Because I'm always, you know, I'm like, even when you don't take care of yourself, you're sluggish and tired and, you know, I pour into so many people. You gotta, you can't pour from an empty cup.

• 42:32Lewis Howes?

  What is agent you? What is the definition of agent you? What does that mean?

• 42:36Speaker 01

  It's being your own agent. It's advocating for yourself.

• 42:39Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Knowing how to get a seat at the table. It's unapologetically living in your purpose. You know, I'm a sports agent. I represent players. I negotiate their deals. I'm in rooms that they're not in. If a regular human had an agent, imagine how successful they could be in their normal life. Now imagine if that agent was you.

• 42:56Lewis Howes?

  You are your own agent.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  Your own agent, downloading that inner agent in you. This book is not about how to be a sports agent. It's how to be your own agent, your own advocate, your own best self. How to do your thirty day self-care plan.

• 43:08Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, because what would your agent say?

• 43:11Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like this is the biggest challenge for you in your life?

• 43:13Speaker 01

  One hundred and fifty percent.

• 43:14Lewis Howes?

  Taking care of you a hundred percent as opposed to taking care of everyone else?

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. That is definitely number one.

• 43:20Lewis Howes?

  And you've never really done any of this, like?

• 43:22Speaker 01

  Not consistently, there's no way.

• 43:24Lewis Howes?

  Why is there no way? Why is there no way you haven't been able to do that?

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Time was number one. Now I've got more time.

• 43:31Lewis Howes?

  Time was the excuse.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Fair, yeah. Because it's like, man, I travel so much and like trying to work out. I'm in hotels, I'm on planes, I have to eat fast food. I, you know, when do I have time to watch TV? Like, I don't have a lot of time to do that. I have so much to do.

• 43:47Lewis Howes?

  What if you scheduled this first on your calendar, every day for thirty days, as this is a non-negotiable?

• 43:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:55Lewis Howes?

  For how long this takes, maybe it's two, two and a half hours a day. Maybe it's three hours.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  That's scary to me.

• 44:01Lewis Howes?

  Non-negotiable.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, three hours a day on myself. That's crazy.

• 44:05Lewis Howes?

  Then you're focused on the other things, laser focused from a full place.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:09Lewis Howes?

  Not maybe like an eighty percent place.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  I'm up for the challenge.

• 44:13Lewis Howes?

  I think it'd be crazy to see what you create at the end of it.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm up for the challenge.

• 44:19Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna say this to you afterwards.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Please do.

• 44:22Lewis Howes?

  Because as I'm, as I'm.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  Please do. I need it. I need it.

• 44:26Lewis Howes?

  As I'm interacting with you, this is our first time meeting. Seen the book, it's about showing up, doing the work, and succeeding on your own terms. It sounds like you've been in this process your entire life and you continue to take the steps in the process. And it also seems like there's other stuff that's, that's available for you. Not missing, but that's available for you to even go to another level for yourself personally.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 44:47Lewis Howes?

  For your clients, for your mission, for your purpose and everything.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 44:50Lewis Howes?

  And I think personally, this is my person, one human being's opinion, when we discount our, our, our needs and our self-care and our love for ourself. When we abandon those things, we abandon our creator. We abandon our greater purpose. We abandon the people around us because we're, we're, we're not fully giving what we need for ourselves and we're coming from a place of 80% or 60% or 50%. And that's an abandonment of our gifts. It's my, one human being's opinion.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  This is a sermon.

• 45:18Lewis Howes?

  I may be wrong. I may be wrong. But I know that.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  I need to hear that.

• 45:22Lewis Howes?

  I know that in the last couple of months, I've been fully going in on a lot of these things you've been talking about.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  Really?

• 45:27Lewis Howes?

  I went back into, I'm a big salsa dancer. I went back and started taking private lessons again. I started boxing classes, one-on-one. I got hired a trainer to come work with me. Again, I started getting better foods.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  But what was the moment? Like, why? Why'd you say, okay, now I'm gonna go get the trainer again?

• 45:43Lewis Howes?

  I went through a, a relationship transition that freed up some time and had me think a little clearly about what I needed to start doing for myself more as opposed to abandoning certain aspects to like give to other people.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  So it's like a big life event?

• 45:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I mean, it was a moment where I was like, okay, why? And it wasn't like I was never doing these things. I was pretty good, but I think I was just abandoning certain things. And since I've been doing it the last couple of months, I just feel like, wow. I'm feeling more of myself. I'm feeling more clear and focused. I'm eliminating distractions in my life that I don't need to do. I'm saying, wow, why am I spending so much time on these activities that aren't actually supporting me or my mission? I was doing them because I felt like I needed to, or because I wanted to be busy. But now that I'm scheduling the things that fill me up first. And making those, I've got private Spanish lessons I'm doing. I just did a class a couple of hours ago. Now, I had an interview in the morning.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:38Lewis Howes?

  I did a Spanish class, and I was like, yesterday, and I'm trying to improve my brain health. So I did it yesterday. I did Spanish lesson in a hyperbaric chamber. So it's like, how can I improve my self-care?

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 46:51Lewis Howes?

  And learn something that's important to me. And then I went right to a workout after, and I had an interview in the morning. And I'm working on emails afterwards, and I'm connecting with friends. But it's scheduling it in and making all these things priority throughout the week. It's like, how do you get to schedule it in? How do you define the time? And not negotiating with a circumstance or an excuse of, well, I've got to travel today. Well, how do you get to schedule it in?

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Really?

• 47:14Lewis Howes?

  How do you get to schedule it in when you travel? What does that look like? Is that a hotel workout today? Is that someone Skype calling with you that's like coaching you? Is that in the airport? Is that 10,000 steps today? I don't know what it is.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 47:25Lewis Howes?

  But it's pre-planning for yourself for the week and having it scheduled in. And that's the non-negotiable. I think if we all started living from that place, I'm not saying there's going to be challenging days that are hard to do them all.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:39Lewis Howes?

  And, but when you say this is a non-negotiable for 30 days, I fully believe your life's going to transform.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  I'm gonna do it.

• 47:46Lewis Howes?

  And your business, everything is going to be exploding. And your heart is going to be so full, full, because you've never experienced this.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  I've never, yeah, I'm gonna do it. And I like what you said about really outsourcing. Like, if you have the resources, use the resources.

• 48:01Lewis Howes?

  Use the resources. And this is where it goes back into an abundance mindset.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  I know.

• 48:04Lewis Howes?

  It's hard when you've, you're like, I don't want to spend that money on this.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's worth it.

• 48:10Lewis Howes?

  It fills you back up and it creates more for you.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:14Lewis Howes?

  You down for the challenge?

• 48:15Speaker 01

  I'm totally down.

• 48:16Lewis Howes?

  Cause I'm gonna, I'm gonna text you.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  I believe you.

• 48:18Lewis Howes?

  And I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna stay on you and say where you're at. I'm gonna get a weekly check in.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  I wanna, I want to be this person. Because I am the person that's telling everyone, work hard, get your goals, be successful in your career. You know, never stop working. I wanna be the person that has the balance, that's not worried about overworking, just hard work. They're not the same.

• 48:39Lewis Howes?

  Right, ooh.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Right?

• 48:40Lewis Howes?

  Overworking, not hard work.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  They're different. Yeah, they're different. I mean, working hard is something that you, you need to do to be successful, but overworking is pushing your body and your mind in places it was not supposed to go. And I have always done that. I want to be the human that works hard, but has the balance. You know? Balance, but balance is so, it's so tough. I'm so black or white. It's like, I'm either on a diet, killing it, working out every day, or I'm binge eating, haven't seen a gym in a year. The gray, like every year, my, my New Year's resolution is be gray. What is gray? You know, don't be black and white, be gray.

• 49:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  It's okay to have.

• 49:19Lewis Howes?

  Give yourself some grays, but make sure you're consistent, but yeah.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  How? How do you do that? When you're so type A, type A, it's like you're one way or the other.

• 49:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  So I would love to be able to do that.

• 49:28Lewis Howes?

  And I'm not saying you'll be able to do this for, you know, a whole year, but I think Kickstarter with 30 days and then, okay, can I do this 80% of the time, you know, and then it's gonna be sometimes I travel and, you know, whatever, there's gonna be some gray.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Agreed.

• 49:39Lewis Howes?

  But I think if you could create this, it's gonna set you up for an incredible next couple of years, personally.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, help me live longer, you know.

• 49:47Lewis Howes?

  If you live longer.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Work out, I mean, taking care of yourself, number one.

• 49:53Lewis Howes?

  What is the,

• 49:57Lewis Howes?

  what's the greatest lesson you learned in the last year of working these two jobs? As you transition out of this job, what was the greatest lesson of overworking what it sounds like you were doing?

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Ugh, that success does not equal happiness.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  I remember when, I think it was three years ago, I had signed my highest draft pick ever. I had won like woman of the year. You know, had a number one overall pick in softball, all these amazing things happening, made more money than I've ever made. And I remember looking back, I had made a birthday post, actually, like, oh, here's all the great things I did this year. I remember being like, man, this is the least happy I've ever been. And so I think I learned really quickly that success and happiness, I mean, people try to conflate those terms, they're very different. You can be successful and not be happy. And so for me, the milestones don't make me happy. I'm very much a journey girl, right? The journey, it's all about, I want to get there, I want to get there. When I finally hit the goal, it's real anticlimactic for me. It's almost depressing. It's like, okay,

• 50:57Speaker 01

  I did it, now what? So it was really a wake-up call. And what I'm trying to do is learn how to be present in the moment when I hit the goal, be okay with the, okay, I hit the goal, let's celebrate it. Like, instead of it going, kind of being like, well, what's next? Like, taking a moment to really take it in.

• 51:13Lewis Howes?

  Celebrating the success and the accomplishment of the years of hard work is so important.

• 51:17Speaker 01

  It is. But for me, it's always, okay, well, what's the next goal? What's the next step? And that's unhealthy.

• 51:22Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  You know, you need to be able to be okay with celebrating what you've done and taking a moment to live in that moment.

• 51:27Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Before going to the next.

• 51:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think success doesn't equal happiness, but also, I think also, you can still be happy and successful at the same time.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  You can, exactly. But it doesn't, you know, it's, it's different. And people think, once I hit success, then I will be happy. You've got to find happiness separately.

• 51:42Lewis Howes?

  Before you become successful, be happy, and success will add to it, it's more fun.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  Exactly. It's really joy, right? Happiness is about what's happening. Joy is eternal.

• 51:51Lewis Howes?

  How much joy do you feel on a daily basis?

• 51:53Speaker 01

  Um, it's something I'm working on. It's something I'm working on. You know, I'm, I, you know, I feel it, but I, my mom, I watch her, she doesn't have much, she never had much, but she's always just so joyful. Right? She doesn't have two pennies to rub together, but there's no one I've met.

• 52:08Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 52:09Speaker 01

  Who just is happier to be alive than her. And so, you know, I look at her, and I'm like, she doesn't have anything, and I have everything in her mind.

• 52:17Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  And our, our outlooks on life are just so different, you know? And so, yeah, I mean, it's something I'm working on. It's not like, I'm not happy all day.

• 52:24Lewis Howes?

  Right. What's the greatest lesson your mom taught you?

• 52:27Speaker 01

  I mean, she instilled my, in me, my faith, you know? I'm really blessed to have learned about Jesus from my mom. You know, she gave me nothing else, except, you know, how to worship Jesus and how to be a giver. So the two things, but I feel like they were the most important gifts of my life.

• 52:43Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:44Lewis Howes?

  What about your greatest lesson from your dad?

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Um, hmm, that's a tough one. He's an immigrant, you know, he came over here with nothing and, you know, had to hustle. He definitely taught me, you have to survive. You know, you gotta, no matter what the circumstances are, he kinda taught me to survive. You know, I knew how to survive as a kid. I think now that I'm older, I'm trying to go from surviving to thriving. You know, stop living in a survival mode, because I can do that, I can do that well. Learned how to do that. So it's like, okay, now how about thriving? And like you said, living in abundance and being okay with spending your money and enjoying the moment versus just surviving, getting to the next point.

• 53:26Lewis Howes?

  Right. It seems like you've done an amazing job of building your personal brand.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:32Lewis Howes?

  How, what's your thoughts on, and your strategies on building a personal brand? Because you weren't like, an influencer or a content creator. You were like, working at a law firm, and you know, like, representing other personal brands essentially, or athletes and influencers. So how did you learn to build your own personal brand? And why is it important for every individual to build their personal brand, whether in a corporation or not?

• 53:56Speaker 01

  Actually, I have a whole chapter on this in my book about building a brand. I believe every professional is a brand, lawyers, doctors, et cetera. I think we always look at entrepreneurs and influencers as the people that have brands. Once I learned that we're all brands, it really changed my career. You know, I decided to build a brand because I wanted to get athletes to come to me. I didn't have time to recruit like other agents, because I had another job. And so I had to get creative and I thought, okay, if I have a brand where I'm a household name, where when somebody thinks of a sports agent, I'm the first name, or one of the first names that comes to mind, then I've done it right.

• 54:30Lewis Howes?

  How'd you do that?

• 54:31Speaker 01

  Man, it starts with picking out your pillars of your brand, right? I think every brand has a few pillars, and everything you do falls under those pillars. Like, for me, it's, it's sports, and it's women empowerment, and mentorship. And so when I'm posting on my social media or on my website, anything that is on that page is under one of my pillars.

• 54:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  And so finding what that brand kinda parameters are, and then being consistent with it. You know, your followers and your fans, they sign up for something, giving them what they signed up for.

• 55:01Lewis Howes?

  When did you start really going all in on kinda content and building your brand online?

• 55:05Speaker 01

  I would say it's been about three or four years when I first started. You know, it was a slow start, but I just, I remember making a decision like, I'm gonna be the first agent everyone thinks of. I'm gonna make a decision. Like, it was very intentional. I'm about to build a brand as a sports agent, and it has not been done. And I think most people probably know of Jerry Maguire, the fictitious agent. Maybe one or two agents, but you can't name a sports agent just naturally.

• 55:28Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  And so I made the decision. I said, you know what? When people think of that, they're gonna think of me.

• 55:33Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  But everyone should feel that way. If you're a baker, you want people to think of you first if they need a cake.

• 55:39Lewis Howes?

  And do you think of like, okay, there's, I don't know, 20,000 sports agents? I'm just making up. How many are there?

• 55:45Speaker 01

  900 NFL agents.

• 55:46Lewis Howes?

  Oh, 900, yeah. Okay, I'm way off. But there's a thousand, let's say, agents. How do you? Do you think of like, I'm gonna lean into my uniqueness?

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:55Lewis Howes?

  Use the differences or the uniqueness, the talents that I have, and not try to be like the other agents, but just go all in obnoxiously on who I am? Is that what you think of?

• 56:04Speaker 01

  100%.

• 56:05Lewis Howes?

  So you stand out, yeah?

• 56:06Speaker 01

  Living in my authentic self every single day.

• 56:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  I decided to show up exactly who I am every day. You know, and I think I wouldn't be on this podcast, I wouldn't have a book if I didn't make that decision day one that I was gonna be me.

• 56:19Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  You know, I got a lot of advice, a lot of advice early on to blend in, and I was like, you know what? I'm not taking that advice. I'm gonna be who I am.

• 56:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. I, um, there's a quote from a woman named Sally Hogshead, who says, "Different is better than better." And being different is better than better. Because you're gonna be unique, you're gonna be stand out, you're gonna be one of a kind, and you may not be better than the best sports agent at this moment, but you're different, and that's better for you than being better.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 56:53Lewis Howes?

  And I think if, if people can approach that and say, "What makes me unique? And how can I lean into that more and more?" Like, for me, I'm a big salsa dancer, and I wasn't posting salsa stuff until recently. And it's getting the most engagement and comments, and people are like, "Post more of this."

• 57:07Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 57:08Lewis Howes?

  Um, you know, playing guitar with my brother, who's an amazing jazz violinist, and they're like, "Post more of this." It's like, these are the unique things for me that I haven't always shared, and I'm trying to lean into it more and more, and I think that's...

• 57:19Speaker 01

  You are the secret sauce.

• 57:21Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. No one else can do the talents that you have, the experience you have, the life you grew up from, the lessons, or whatever.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Even if you give them the recipe. If I give you my spaghetti recipe, the exact instructions, your sauce is still gonna taste different.

• 57:34Lewis Howes?

  Different.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  I'm the secret sauce. You're the secret sauce.

• 57:37Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Exactly. People are going to be attracted to you. I love this. What's a question you wish more people would ask you that they don't ask?

• 57:46Speaker 01

  Oh, man, that's a good question. What I wish they asked me, but that they don't ask. Um, how are you? How are you feeling?

• 57:55Lewis Howes?

  How are you feeling?

• 57:56Speaker 01

  I'm feeling pretty good. Feeling okay. I'm a little tired. I get a lot of questions about how to get in the business and like when I meet people, how to be a sports agent. And I think people forget like, hey, I'm a human and you know, more of the like checking in like, how are you doing? Like, you know, how's your mental health? How's your physical health? How's Nicole Lynn doing? Not agent Nicole Lynn. How's Nicole Lynn doing?

• 58:18Lewis Howes?

  Personal Nicole Lynn, yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I think people kind of forget about that.

• 58:22Lewis Howes?

  That's what I'm going to do for the next 30 days.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Every day. How are you?

• 58:25Lewis Howes?

  Once a week. No, once a week. Once a week, I'm going to check in with you. We're going to create a list.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 58:31Lewis Howes?

  Send it to you.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  August 1st.

• 58:32Lewis Howes?

  August 1st. Yeah, we'll give it to you August 1st, the start of the month.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  Got to have the August one. You can't start it.

• 58:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly. And we'll do that August 1st. I'm going to text you.

• 58:40Speaker 01

  I can do it.

• 58:41Lewis Howes?

  Every week. I'm going to have you text me on the weekends when you've completed the week.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:46Lewis Howes?

  And I'm going to check in on you for four weeks.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  I'm going to be like an NFL training camp. I'm going to be working out in the hotel.

• 58:53Lewis Howes?

  Work out with the guys, you know, it's just like, I'll jump in there. Exactly.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Kill them. Good bet.

• 58:59Lewis Howes?

  I love this. You've got this book we've been talking about called Agent You Show Up, Do the Work, and Succeed in Your Own Terms. People can get it online. They can go to bookstores. Where's a place they can connect with you personally? Where's the website for more about you?

• 59:13Speaker 01

  AgentNicoleLynn.com or Agent Nicole Lynn on Twitter, Instagram.

• 59:17Lewis Howes?

  Where do you hang out more? Twitter, Instagram, or both?

• 59:19Speaker 01

  I'd say both. You know, Twitter, it's heavy, heavy sports. So if you like sports. Instagram, you'll get mostly sports, but you know, mentorship. I like to post kind of this, the blueprint of how I am a sports agent.

• 59:31Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  If you ever want to get into sports, I put all the tips on my page.

• 59:35Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. Yeah, it's fun. And I see my guy Emmanuel and Sarah both on the back praising for you. Both friends of mine. So it's inspiring to see.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Gabrielle Union wrote the foreword.

• 59:45Lewis Howes?

  That's awesome.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:46Lewis Howes?

  Where's her name on here?

• 59:47Speaker 01

  I know. She's a good.

• 59:48Lewis Howes?

  You got to put her name on the front.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  I know.

• 59:50Lewis Howes?

  Forward by Gabrielle.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:53Lewis Howes?

  You got to leverage that. That's good. Good marketing. This is a question I ask everyone at the end of our interviews called the three truths.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:00Lewis Howes?

  Question. So I'd like you to imagine a hypothetical scenario.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:05Lewis Howes?

  It's your last day on earth, many years away from now.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  It's really sad.

• 1:00:08Lewis Howes?

  It is.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  It's the most depressing.

• 1:00:09Lewis Howes?

  No, you've lived as long as you want to live.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Okay, 200 years.

• 1:00:13Lewis Howes?

  You lived 200?

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  Clearly.

• 1:00:14Lewis Howes?

  And then it's your last day.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:16Lewis Howes?

  Eventually, you gotta call it quits, right?

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:18Lewis Howes?

  On this, this life. Uh, and you've accomplished all your dreams. You've lived the life that you want to live. You do self-care every day. You're helping athletes. You're doing all these, whatever your dream life is, you actually create it.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:31Lewis Howes?

  From here until whenever you pass. But for whatever reason, you've gotta take all of your materials with you, or it's gotta go somewhere else. So your book, your content, the things you've said, no one has access to this anymore. It goes to the next place, somewhere else. But you get a piece of paper and a pen, and you get to write down three things you know to be true. Three lessons. And this is all we would have to be reminded of you from your, all of your work and all of your material, of these three lessons that you would share with the world.

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:00:59Lewis Howes?

  That they would have to use and whatever they wanted to use. What would you say are those three truths for you?

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  God is real.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  The second truth is that finding your purpose is the most important mission of your life.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  And the third, marry the right person.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  Marry the right person.

• 1:01:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Why does that seem to be so hard for so many people?

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  It's tough. People are always like, how are you so successful? What's the number one thing you can tell me to do? Marry the right person. I couldn't do what I do if I had married someone else.

• 1:01:36Lewis Howes?

  It'd be draining.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a support system. You're a team, you know? It's a partnership. And that partnership is critical to your success. That's a whole nother book.

• 1:01:47Lewis Howes?

  How long have you been married for?

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Nine years.

• 1:01:49Lewis Howes?

  How did you know that it was the right person?

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Man, I just knew. Isn't that crazy? I just knew. I was one of those, I mean, we dated for like 10 months and then we're married.

• 1:01:58Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  I'm one of those stories. It's like, we dated and like six weeks in, it's like, I guess you're probably my husband. I think you are. You know, and just here we are. People thought we were nuts. We're going now on our 10th year.

• 1:02:10Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  So I was like, I think it worked out.

• 1:02:13Lewis Howes?

  What's been the, the key to knowing it's a great fit? Or it's aligned? And then the key to also sustaining it? And making sure it stays that way?

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:23Lewis Howes?

  After 10 years?

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  The sustaining is that love is not enough.

• 1:02:26Lewis Howes?

  I've been saying that so much lately. Love is not enough.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  And you have to make a decision every day to stay married.

• 1:02:32Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  Marriage is very hard. People don't talk about that. People like to make it look like it's all roses and it's hard. You show up every day. It's like going to work every single day and choosing to love someone.

• 1:02:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  You know, it's an action. But yeah, love is not enough. You know, companion, compatibility, chemistry. I mean, there's so many different factors here that that are important.

• 1:02:54Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  And I wish I could say it's just all about love and it's not. It's BS.

• 1:02:57Lewis Howes?

  You guys had all that stuff though.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Well, you know, some of it grew over time.

• 1:03:01Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  We're very different. Some of it grew over time. Some of it was, we're very different in these things and we've got to learn how to live with these differences because no one's changing.

• 1:03:11Lewis Howes?

  Right. You accept each other.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:13Lewis Howes?

  If you don't accept each other, it's gonna be miserable.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Agreed.

• 1:03:15Lewis Howes?

  Accept it or leave, right?

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:16Lewis Howes?

  It's like...

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  And so we made the choice, okay, we're gonna stay. So what, as we make that choice every day, what does that look like? What does it mean when you wake up every day to make the choice to fight for your marriage?

• 1:03:24Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  You're fighting for your marriage even when the marriage is great.

• 1:03:27Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Every day you wake up, you're fighting for your marriage. Love's not enough.

• 1:03:32Lewis Howes?

  It was not enough. I've been saying that. That's a good sign. Um, I want to acknowledge you Nicole for, for a moment, for your, your gifts, for everything you've done to overcome from...

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:03:45Lewis Howes?

  I mean, getting food at eight and nine that's helped you and your brother to forge your driver's license, to just doing whatever it takes.

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:53Lewis Howes?

  To survive and to thrive and to be an example for other people. I acknowledge you for, uh, making the, the big risk, taking the risk to leave something that you've been comfortable with for a long time, which is probably not hard to leave.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:07Lewis Howes?

  And to go all in on something that you're really passionate about.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:10Lewis Howes?

  I acknowledge you, even though maybe you wanted to do it sooner, you did it at the right time for you.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:15Lewis Howes?

  And, uh, I acknowledge you for not beating yourself up. I think a lot of us beat ourselves up for things we didn't do and we should have done. And you're just like, you know, it's the right timing and it needed to happen this way. I acknowledge you for allowing me to, uh, try to bring out of you the things that might be, uh, lacking.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Lewis Howes?

  That could support you, that could take you to the next level. Because that's part of my mission is to help serve people get to their next level. So, I acknowledge you for saying you're committed to this and I'm gonna check in on you.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  Please do.

• 1:04:43Lewis Howes?

  So, uh, and, um, yeah, everything you're up to, I'm really excited about it.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:04:47Lewis Howes?

  And it's been, it's been great to meet you, yes.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  I'm so happy to be here.

• 1:04:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Thank you for having me on your show.

• 1:04:51Lewis Howes?

  Of course, of course. My final question is what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Oh man, definition of greatness. Man, wow. I could just write an essay on what does it mean to be great? You know, I think about greatness, I think about not whether you have what it takes. I believe almost everybody has what it takes. I think people don't think that. I think everybody has what it takes, but it's will you do what it takes?

• 1:05:19Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  And that's the difference. A lot of people listening, you have what it takes, but will you do what it takes to be great? Greatness is doing whatever it takes to get there. Yeah.

• 1:05:33Lewis Howes?

  Wow, cool. Thank you so much. Appreciate you very much.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:05:37Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 1:05:39Lewis Howes?

  Thank you, good stuff. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you did enjoy this, please share this with a friend. Spread the message of greatness. Text a few people, post it on social media. Make sure to follow Nicole Lynn as well and message her over on Instagram if you enjoyed this. And please subscribe to the School of Greatness on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Leave us a review as I'll be sharing more of these reviews in the coming weeks as well. So, share with me your thoughts over on the review section on Apple Podcasts. And I want to leave you with this quote from Rory T. Bennett, who said, "No one has ever achieved greatness without dreams." That's right. What are your dreams? Are they activated? Do you have them in your mind on a daily basis? Or do you not have any dreams right now? What are you cultivating to create those dreams on a daily basis? For me, dreams are a big part of my life. It's something that leads me.

• 1:06:23Lewis Howes?

  It's something that pulls me towards a greater direction than what I'm currently at. And it helps me develop new skills. It helps me overcome challenges. It helps me overcome insecurities or fears. Because in order for me to achieve those dreams, I must become something I've never been to create those. So what are your dreams? Are you thinking about them consistently? Let me know. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.