2026 Dating Trends: Chalance, Friendfluence, Voice Notes, and More

What does dating look like in 2026? We are defining and breaking down six dating trends for the year – from "hot take dating" to "friendfluence" to "chalance" – and also discussing what romance looks like in the current landscape, how voice notes can vet potential dates, and more. Before we get into the topic, we're talking about what might be the best piece of dating advice out there, clarifying our anniversary, and sharing an incident where Ashley forgot she was married. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Hungry Root: Get 40% off your first box and free item in every box for life at https://hungryroot.com/GGE with code GGE. Skims: Get our favorite bras and underwear at https://skims.com/gge. Chime: Bank fee free by signing up at https://chime.com/girlsgottaeat. Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first order and free shipping at https://nutrafol.com with code GGE10. Hers: Get the support that actually reflects your needs. Start your free intake at http://forhers.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Rayna Greenberg?

  I am glad there's finally more content.

• 0:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 0:02Rayna Greenberg?

  About like pursuing women.

• 0:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 0:04Rayna Greenberg?

  And just being kind to each other and like being romantic. I mean, that's what I'm looking for.

• 0:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent. So what does romance look like in 2026?

• 0:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  This podcast is a Dear Media production.

• 0:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

• 0:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Welcome back. Hope everyone had a great Valentine's weekend.

• 0:37Rayna Greenberg?

  What do you think you did for Valentine's?

• 0:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  So we will discuss it on this last week's snack.

• 0:43Rayna Greenberg?

  All right.

• 0:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, I need to offer some clarity on our anniversary.

• 0:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Ours.

• 0:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, our podcast anniversary because I'm sure people were a little surprised last week that I got all twisted up because I'm a big date person and I'm a sentimental person. Here's what it is, and I have looked into this before, but I just forgot last week. The 13th is when we posted our very first episode.

• 1:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I knew it was before Valentine's Day.

• 1:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let me finish. Because we had heard, you don't know how long it's going to take to get approved on Apple to have your podcast be in the world. People were like, it could take up to 10 days. So as soon as it was ready and edited, it took me so long to finesse that first 40-minute episode. We put it up. We did not launch Girls Gotta Eat till Monday, February 19.

• 1:31Rayna Greenberg?

  So this is the first I'm hearing of this.

• 1:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Here's it.

• 1:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  February 13, 2018 was a Tuesday. No one knew about it. I think we had a few people like listened to it, but like we did not tell anybody about it. I think we were teasing it on our Instagram, but it launched on Monday, February 19 to the world. I remember being in an Uber on Sunday, February 18, and I was like, it's up. If you want to listen now, I was all excited. I was on my way to some event. And so the technical launch is February 19, but the technical publication of the first episode was the 13th. So if you're more Raina's anniversary, you're the 13th, and if you're more Ashley's anniversary, you're the 19th.

• 2:11Rayna Greenberg?

  And if you guys are losing sleep about this, now you know. And I look forward to revising this next year and not knowing.

• 2:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  No.

• 2:16Rayna Greenberg?

  She told me about this the other day, and I was like, this is the first I'm hearing of this.

• 2:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, and I'm wearing the necklace today. And I was going to bring you a gift, but I'll bring it on Thursday for our actual anniversary.

• 2:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  So Thursday, 10 days after we announce the first anniversary, we will celebrate our actual anniversary.

• 2:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Listen, it's been the 13th for a long time and we've spent Valentine's Day together every year for a lot of years.

• 2:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, it was always like around Valentine's. That's fine. Whatever you guys want to do.

• 2:45Rayna Greenberg?

  No, an anniversary is an anniversary.

• 2:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 2:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I was 40 minutes, our first episode.

• 2:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I remember being like, I want to put these out under 45 minutes. I just, yeah.

• 2:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, you got that in your head. I remember.

• 2:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Cause I was like, you're, we're trying to reach brand new people. We can't launch with two hours or 90 minutes. And so the first episodes were like 39 minutes.

• 3:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Wow.

• 3:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 3:07Rayna Greenberg?

  That's crazy.

• 3:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then we would like drink at the end. I mean, what a time. Anyway, you guys are probably sick about here about the anniversary, but you know what? It still doesn't even happen yet. It's Thursday.

• 3:18Rayna Greenberg?

  We have more time to talk about. All right. Well, we'll thank our partners and we'll get right into it. Thanks to Hungry Root. Get 40% off your first box and a free item in every box for life at hungryroot.com/gge with code GGE. And Skims, get our favorite braids and underwear at skims.com/gge and Chime bank fee free by signing up at chime.com/girlsgottoeat.

• 3:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you to Nutriful. Get $10 off your first order and free shipping at nutrafol.com with code GGE10. And thank you to Hers. Get the support that actually reflects your needs. Start your free intake at forhers.com.

• 3:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 3:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. So there was something I want to discuss. I saw this Instagram story from Wheezy, Wheezy WTF on Instagram, who we had on the podcast with her co-host Mandy, who do a podcast called Decisions, Decisions. We had them last year to talk about their new book. And I just thought this was something that was so impactful and like a simple piece of a dating advice, but I screenshotted it. I want to give her credit, but we wanted to break it down. So she posted, ladies, can I give you the best piece of dating advice I have in my arsenal? Stop telling these men how badly your ex treated you. It's a testimony to what you'd be willing to put up with and for how long. Speak highly of the people you've dated. Stop letting these MFs feel like the prize.

• 4:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I was like, wow, it's not like the hottest take. I never really thought about it in quite that way.

• 4:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it's a really profound take.

• 4:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 4:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it is the hottest take and it reminds me, and I want to unpack this, and it reminds me of the opposite. When I'm on a date with a man and he says to me, my ex is really crazy. And I think both of those things do the same thing. What a man is telling you that he wants you to be like, oh my God, that's crazy. And when a girl is telling this, she wants you to say like, fuck that guy. But all these things do is say something about you and not the other person. So with women, it's what you're willing to deal with. And with men, when a man says to me, my ex is crazy, my first thought is what have you done to provoke that behavior? And so I'm like, this says more about the person talking about it than it does about the ex. I don't care about the ex. I don't care about her or her behavior. All I think is what did you do to provoke and cause this behavior?

• 5:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and I do think part of that is in the delivery. Like, we are going to talk to our partners about our past. And what is the tone? Is it this therapy session? Is it just sharing funny stories? Is it just here's about me and here's what I went through, here's my trauma? I think that even if we have the best intentions with somebody, whether it's even friendships or a business partner or a romantic partner, when they are telling you how someone treated them before, you can't help but think that is what they were willing to accept for however long. And I think there is a world in which you're saying, this happened to me and I got out of it and I won't accept that type of behavior again. And I think that you can share those things with your partner.

• 6:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  This isn't, don't talk to your partner about your past, but like droning on and on about it in a way where it's like, oh, but you're so much better. You would never and you gotta treat me right. Like, I think you have to limit that kind of sharing and you have to think about the tone. Because I'm not a person that's like, oh, this, this person was treated so poorly before me. I can get away with it. But I don't think we, we can't not think you let yourself get treated like that. And again, like, it's not even that. I've been treated poorly, you've been treated poorly, and I know what my boundaries are and what I'm willing to accept. And I've shared my past with Shashank, of course, but- It's like the amount of sharing that like I've been treated so poorly and by multiple

• 6:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  partners. Like when you start going down that road, like you said, even on the flip side of all my exes are crazy or all these men cheated on me. Like, what is it saying about you?

• 7:02Rayna Greenberg?

  I think it's interesting because there's a line you I do want to hear like, has somebody been in a serious relationship before? What was that like? How did they process it? Are you able to have commitment and communication? And I'm always really interested in that. But I think early on, before you get to know somebody.

• 7:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, yes.

• 7:18Rayna Greenberg?

  And it sounds a little bit like I'm victim blaming the woman. I just mean with men, when they're like, this thing happened to me. I'm just like, huh, all right, it's been noted. That's all I mean. It's like, yeah, it's been noted that this was a dynamic in your past relationships. And I think that women, when they say this, just want to say like, I've been hurt in the past, and this sucked, and I was treated poorly, and I want to move on from that. I want to be intentional. I want to do something different. But I think in the very beginning, it's not necessarily doing what you think it is.

• 7:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent. And you see this a lot on The Bachelor or dating shows. And again, the whole intention and the way that they manipulate those shows is they want people trauma dumping on a first date. But it starts to feel like when you see a woman or a man, for example, telling the other person, this is what I've been through. It does start to feel like trauma dumping. And like, what is the intention here? Do you want someone to save you? You know, is the intention like, you want this man, for example, to say, I would never cheat on you. I would never do that. I'm going to treat you better. Like, what are you asking for in return? And you always say, the way you speak about yourself is how someone will perceive you. So you should be speaking about yourself

• 8:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  as I am a strong person. I don't put up with people walking all over me. Like, how do you want someone to think of you? And to Wheezy's last point, speak highly of the people you've dated. Don't lie. But guys should think, her ex treated her so well, I need to level up. Not like her bar is low. Like, think about it that way. Do you want to be telling guys, my bar is low? I have been, I have put up with so much. I've been cheated on so many times in the past. Like, it, to me, it is the amount of sharing and the, is this a pattern? And the same exact thing with, all my exes are crazy.

• 9:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Everyone has a crazy ex. I've been the crazy ex. I have a crazy ex. But it's not every single one. It's not Lewis Howes coming on our podcast, talking about every single one of my exes was a narcissist or whatever the fuck he said. And it's like, that's super sus.

• 9:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. And I think that men and women are different. We share differently. So I'm not lumping these in together. When women say this, I think they're trying to be vulnerable.

• 9:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, yes. And we'll talk about that today.

• 9:32Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that they're trying to like, share like, what has happened in the past. And I think it's really important to like, get clear with people, be honest. And this is what I've gone through. And that's, that's really nice. But there is just, there's a line, and I know it when I see it, of just like, this is what's happened to me. And please just be delicate with me and treat me better. Rather than like, I have accepted this, just so you know.

• 9:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 9:52Rayna Greenberg?

  And I try to think about what exes have said to me, like, I, I hear these things about my ex. And I'm like, this will have, this will come up. So like, my ex said, my ex-wife used to treat me like I was incompetent all the time. And everything I did, she was like, I can do this better. I can take care of this. And I was like, huh. A woman treated you like you were incompetent. Okay. So I'm just, I'm just making note of it. I'm just noting it. And like, yes, there were a lot of things that came up with him where I was like, oh, you actually like, can't clean up your side of the street. I can't like, trust you to like, take care of very basic needs. And so like, yes, had we stayed together longer, I would have started really treating him like he was completely incompetent. Like, I understand her, the way she was. And the second he said she always did this, I clocked it as like, she was probably right.

• 10:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're so right about that, too. You're putting ideas in someone's head of who you are. Like if I said to somebody that I was newly dating, like my exes always said I was this or I was that, he's gonna be like, are you? I actually didn't think that, but now I do. You were like, I actually didn't think you were incompetent, but now I do.

• 10:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Now I'm looking for evidence.

• 10:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Now I'm looking for evidence. Yeah. So what are you saying about yourself? And we can't stress enough, like you should be able to share and be vulnerable and we'll dive into that more today, but I do think it's about how early it is.

• 11:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 11:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  And if someone is badgering you about your past, A, why? And B, you can be a little cagey about it. Like you can be like, oh, it was fine, or it was this, or it was that, or there were some issues there and you can share as much or as little as you want. And then as you get closer with that person, you can obviously open up more about your past, but the trauma dumping early on in hopes that they will treat you better is not doing what you think it's doing.

• 11:36Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm fascinated by it. Like there are just certain things I hold back on a first couple of dates, stuff about my family specifically. I don't try to sound cagey. It's just, it's none of your business. I don't need, I don't need to be shared. And I'm not just giving you like the top line notes of myself, like all the good stuff. And you know, you gotta wait for the bad stuff, but I always just say there's like a line and I know it when I see it and people share stuff with me a lot and you. I've, I've talked to a dating coach before and said like people that are therapists or podcasters, people that interview a lot, people tend to overshare with you. And so I am hypersensitive to it, to not overshare with somebody. And if people start to trauma dump on me, I'm just like, what are we doing here? So I, I'm hypersensitive, but I don't know. The first couple of dates, I don't, I just don't know that we need to be sharing things

• 12:19Rayna Greenberg?

  because you don't have the context to digest this information in a way that I want you to.

• 12:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And you are still getting to know someone. And if you like them, how you want to see the relationship progress? Do you want to put in a bunch of effort? We'll talk about effort today. But if you're a guy, not all guys, but a lot of guys by nature are competitive. They are clocking everything you're saying about the people you dated before them because they're competing with them. So if you were like, every single guy before you was trash, he'd be like, oh, I don't have to do anything. But if you're like, yeah, my exes were pretty dope and this guy did this and this guy did that, not that you're gonna do on a date, but if you give those clues, if they knew that from before, they're gonna try to level up.

• 13:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Dress for the job you want.

• 13:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. So true.

• 13:05Rayna Greenberg?

  And also like, I think when people start to reveal stuff, a few dates and I don't look back and think like, oh, he lied to me. I think like, he had some tact and some grace.

• 13:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 13:15Rayna Greenberg?

  When and how they shared something with me. And when I hear somebody just talk about their exes in a really negative light on the first few dates, I'm just like, what was the point of this? Why are you telling me this?

• 13:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. What are you trying to gain? And again, I think some people are often trying to do something that they're actually doing the opposite. So, I mean, Shoshong still barely tells me. I think I'd be digging so deep. I'm like, tell me everything about your exes. He's like, why do you want to know?

• 13:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh my God, stop.

• 13:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Dull.

• 13:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Never.

• 13:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Raina, I.

• 13:49Rayna Greenberg?

  You guys, I'm gonna tell you what happened. It's insane.

• 13:53Rayna Greenberg?

  We were.

• 13:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  God bless Chunky. He is truly the best. I am so lucky to be married to this man.

• 14:00Rayna Greenberg?

  You have to say that before I drop what you say.

• 14:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's just so secure and easygoing.

• 14:05Rayna Greenberg?

  I love him so much. He walked into my house yesterday and was like, what do you need fixed in the house? And just immediately fixed my freezer. He was just on the floor fixing the freezer for a long time. It was insane. But okay, we were, there was like 13 of us watching the Super Bowl and this, we were having a conversation with somebody about a meeting we had had and this guy happens.

• 14:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Years ago.

• 14:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Years ago, many years.

• 14:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, before I even started to date Chunky.

• 14:27Rayna Greenberg?

  It was four years ago.

• 14:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 14:28Rayna Greenberg?

  And we were talking about this meeting we had with this guy and he said this name and you're like, oh, I know him. I thought I was gonna marry him. And Shoshak looks at you. He, you have your back to him like, I see him look at you and you like doubled down on it. You were like, no, no, I mean, he just was so hot, right? And I see him looking at you and I'm like, I'm trying to motion to the fact that your husband's staring directly at you.

• 14:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Blacked out. Like I, listen, I love Shoshong more than anything. I could cry even talking about him. But I do forget I'm married sometimes. I was single for so long. I was able to speak freely about this stuff for so long and sometimes it does come back. And I'll just say this guy's name is James. He was like this high-power CEO. He was on this call. I didn't know he was gonna be on the call and I saw him and I was like. Who the fuck is that? Like, I love him, whatever. So again, this is but I

• 15:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I forget you were married too. It's so funny.

• 15:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  The way I said it, I was like, oh my God, I was in love with him. I thought I was gonna marry him. I am saying this with my full chest. Shashank is right here. He's next to me.

• 15:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I actually, when I heard you exclaim something with that much confidence in a long time, I mean, you let the whole room know and he immediately looked at you and I was like, is this for serious? It was so funny.

• 15:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so funny because yes, like I just had like a crush on somebody that was never gonna happen. But for me to be like, oh my God, I thought I was gonna marry him. Like, that's what Shashank felt about me that same year. He has that story about a woman and it's me.

• 16:05Rayna Greenberg?

  You gotta find someone who loves you a little more.

• 16:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hey, listen, it's better than if it was the other way around. So anyway, but yeah, I like, I was like, I snapped back into it. I was like, oh my God, oh my God, Ashley, like, fuck you. Get a hold of yourself. What are you doing?

• 16:19Rayna Greenberg?

  I forget.

• 16:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  No one really did react. Like, we were talking to this man and I feel like he was even like, oh, isn't that your husband?

• 16:28Rayna Greenberg?

  He shouldn't have forgot his wedding ring that day.

• 16:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yep, exactly. Thank you so much. Shashank forgot his wedding ring because we were making a dip to bring over and then we got a little rushed and we had a little Instapot situation, whatever. And so he forgot his wedding ring and he, he came home from work one day when he forgot it. Like, he works really close to home and he got there and he was, he always wants to leave work. So he just jetted back home. He was like, it was the cutest thing. He was like, I don't want to be at work all day without my wedding ring on. I was like, why? You'd be getting hit on by these old ladies?

• 16:53Rayna Greenberg?

  I would hit on him.

• 16:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's like an aside, but he totally forgot it. We got to your house. And so I was like, well, I guess we're not married. I can do what I want.

• 17:00Rayna Greenberg?

  I forget you were married all the time. There's this clip that you posted on our Instagram from last week about the Super Bowl foods and you said, can we make the cheese dip? And I thought, when you said we, I thought you meant you and me. I didn't realize you meant the other we.

• 17:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Someone wrote in the comments, you hit her with the other we.

• 17:17Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, you see it on my face. It did not occur to me. You didn't mean me and you.

• 17:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. No, that was such a funny clip. Okay. Well, we got off topic, but I forget how we even got there.

• 17:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Just talking about your exes.

• 17:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 17:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Your ex crushes.

• 17:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I think this is great advice and I think it is a reframe for people and I don't want to shame anybody that's doing this. I just want them to think about what they're doing and what you're saying about yourself. I think we all have our own shit. We all have our trauma, however we bring it into a date situation or anything with a potential love interest. If we feel close to somebody and we feel like we can share this stuff, that's great, but it's just something to keep in mind and just something to keep in mind about the way you want people to think about how you expect to be treated.

• 18:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I only mean to shame men for the my ex is crazy thing. I would never shame a woman for their behavior.

• 18:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, of course, of course.

• 18:09Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm trying to think like, I actually don't have any exes that I would be like, they're pieces. I don't, people I wouldn't get back together with, but no, like I'm trying to think like, when do I share that like, have I ever been treated really badly by somebody I actually dated? Everybody else, yes. Everybody else has treated me really badly, but somebody that I've really been in a relationship with.

• 18:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, right. Exactly. No, I wouldn't. I mean.

• 18:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Trying to remember like, when I would have shared something like that.

• 18:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, you had like your toxic ex in your early twenties, you talk about, he was cheating on you.

• 18:36Rayna Greenberg?

  My fiance left me the day after our engagement party.

• 18:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  It all starts coming out. But like, yeah, I mean, I had a toxic relationship and I, when I speak about it to Shashank, I talk about the ownership that I played in it too. And I certainly don't speak about it as like, I let this guy just shit all over me and take advantage of me and lie to me and whatever. I'm not even saying he did all that, but it's just like, I don't know. I'm not saying if that was the case, I'd be embarrassed. Like, we all have a, have a story and reasons for why we let things happen in our life, but like, I would want my partner to think, like, she has been treated with respect in the past and she expects the same for me.

• 19:13Rayna Greenberg?

  But I like that if you frame it also as like, here's what I learned and here's what won't be happening again.

• 19:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 19:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, I can digest that better.

• 19:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent. Okay, so we are just gonna have another conversation about health. It is just always on our mind and we have been talking about hers recently and gonna tell you a little bit about hers today. So we obviously deal with so much as women, especially as we age. Of course, there's perimenopause, there's menopause, there's changes in our body, there's sometimes unexplained weight gain. And anxiety, energy levels, whatever's going on with your skin. I mean, the list goes on and on. And women's health has not always been at the forefront of the conversation. And we do feel like that is improving and brands like hers really have taken that as their top priority. And this is going to be the care that you deserve to be feeling your best and take your health into your own hands.

• 20:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  So we have talked about them before, and I think obviously we talk about perimenopause and menopause. And that's something that they are tackling. So when you go to their site, it'll ask you what's more important, most important to you right now. Relief from my symptoms, long-term health benefits or both, you're going to answer some questions. This is when you do the intake form as well, but they also do weight loss. So when you go to forhers.com and you click on weight loss, they're going to say, what's your weight loss goal? Lose one to 15 pounds, lose 16 to 50 pounds, lose 51 plus pounds and you're not sure. I just need to lose weight and you are going to answer a few more questions about your motivation for it. And they're going to work with you on a plan that could work with you. And this isn't us saying like, everybody needs to lose weight, but it's on a lot of people's minds.

• 20:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  And especially as you age and your hormones change and all these things, and you just can't seem to figure out, or you can't get a handle on it, they are going to help you with that. And they do so much lab testing as well. They check everything.

• 20:56Rayna Greenberg?

  So they have 130 plus health signals that they can test. And so this goes into like heart metabolism, hormones. So when I turned 40, I just had like the largest panel of labs done just to check absolutely everything. And my mom has had thyroid problems. I have blood pressure issues. I just wanted to get everything checked, hormones. I mean, as you age, it couldn't be more important. And like, it's just a little intimidating being like, what do I test and how do I test it? And so it really is just all here for you. I mean, I'm lucky. They have liver, kidney, immune defenses, nutrients, blood. I can't tell you how many girlfriends I have, especially as they like age towards 40 that are like, I suddenly have certain intolerances I didn't know that I had. I'm experiencing like weight problems, hormone changes.

• 21:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Skin acne later in life.

• 21:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Food sensitivities.

• 21:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:41Rayna Greenberg?

  And so this is sort of like a one stop shop of like different labs you can get done.

• 21:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm hmm. Yeah. And again, I just wanted to close the loop on the, the weight loss stuff. You can access a range of doctor trusted medications from GLP one injections, oral medication kits and personalized doses. And you can ease in with compounded GLP one microdose treatment plans. Like they'll work that all out for you. And we just are so excited to partner with hers. They are a positive force out to provide access to care women deserve by addressing key tension points of an outdated healthcare system. Again, it is an online health and wellness company where you can get a clear picture of your health with convenient access to in-depth holistic lab testing. If prescribed, you can access a treatment plan that is not one size fits all. It's going to be for your specific needs. It goes beyond medicine with lifestyle

• 22:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  tips for better outcomes. So really sustainable and fits your lifestyle, convenient, 100% online care, wherever you need it, and ongoing support for whatever you have going on. Again, like we mentioned, weight loss, menopause and more. So you can start a simple online consultation with a provider to see if you're eligible. And then if you're eligible, a licensed medical provider will determine, again, the treatment plan that is right for you and the options that you have. So you can check out forhers.com to learn more. That is F O R H E R S. To get the support that actually reflects your needs, start your free intake at forhers.com, F O R H E R S dot com.

• 23:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. And if one of your resolutions was to just cook more at home this year, or maybe eat a little healthier, or just like feel better in your body, I can't really recommend Huggerood enough. So you've heard us talk about it before on the podcast. It truly simplifies your life in terms of cooking, shopping for groceries. So if you're like a busy parent or a creator like us, it really is like a game changer and it will do all your weekly meal planning through Huggerood. So. The website's great. You go on the website, you take this quiz about like, what do you like to eat? Who are you cooking for? How many people? Are there kids? Do you have dietary restrictions? Are you trying to do high protein? Or are you vegan? All these things. And they make all your meals for the week. It'll like fill your shopping cart and deliver everything you need to eat healthy all day, every day. You really talk a lot about dietary restrictions and preferences,

• 23:48Rayna Greenberg?

  health goals, budget, what cooking appliances you have at home. And they're really going to tailor a card for you. They have over 50,000 chef crafted recipes to choose from each week, with many ready in just 15 minutes or less. And they really hold all of their food to high standards. So they screen out over 200 additives. So high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, all the things that people are trying to like get out of their diet. They really screen for all that. There's so much variety. And it will tailor your tastes in food so specifically. I just love everything that they do. There's snacks, there's recipes, there's all kinds of food that you can order.

• 24:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's good for families, good for moms. Yeah, I like made some tacos recently. I always make the tacos. I've had pastas. I really love their meats. The proteins are really top notch.

• 24:33Rayna Greenberg?

  So you're going to love Hungry Root as much as we do. For a limited time, get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com/gge and use the code GGE. That's hungryroot.com/gge, code GGE to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. And we say this every few months, but we have a website, girlsgottaeat.com, that has all of our partners and all of the codes on there for you.

• 24:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so we are talking about the dating trends for 2026. Today, we picked six for 2026. A lot going on. I mean, we do this every year.

• 25:09Rayna Greenberg?

  We do this every year, but this year, really, I was like, oh, there's like a lot of changes.

• 25:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I mean, some of the stuff is like just rebranded. Stuff from the previous years or from the, you know, just life. But we did like some of these things and, you know, again, the terminology that we're using out here. And last year, I remember it being AI, of course, we'll talk about AI a little bit today and like unseriousness and taking dating less seriously and kind of gamifying it. And I almost think this year is more serious.

• 25:41Rayna Greenberg?

  I think people are being more clear, more honest. There's more self-expression. I think people, I think last year was about, let's be so unserious about this. And it, I think you should be light and silly with it. But I still think there's a way to communicate what you want and be honest and filter out for what you don't want. Not waste your time while still being like light.

• 25:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  And having fun.

• 26:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 26:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 26:01Rayna Greenberg?

  So to me this year, clarity, confidence, honest self-expression. We're going to get into it.

• 26:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  So we scoured the internet for these. There's all these think pieces out there and all the things and saw a lot of experts speak on this. I saw a lot from Logan Urie, who is a data scientist at Hinge. We've had on the podcast a few times. She's just really the GOAT when it comes to all this stuff. And I was watching her on a Today Show interview and we just pulled these from a lot of different places. And there's some out there that we saw that we don't co-sign. And so we just picked our, our six that we really believe are going to be prevalent this year.

• 26:31Rayna Greenberg?

  And I co-sign a lot of these, like I'm just in talking to my male friends and female friends. I see a lot of these things happening. So sometimes you see these articles and you're like, God damn it. But like, I really, this do be happening.

• 26:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. It's just like the same old shit with a different name. So, okay, so the first one, this is, they're calling it hot take dating. But all it means is being upfront about where you stand in your political, I say that in quotes, your value system in this current landscape from the jump.

• 27:03Rayna Greenberg?

  I think just being upfront about like where your values are in general. Like I think that a lot of people, especially on dating apps, want to cast a wide net. And that's why you see a lot of profiles that are just like, I like walks on the beach and I like to be with my family. And I understand the notion to be like, I want to attract the largest amount of people and that I will self-filter.

• 27:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'll filter, yeah.

• 27:20Rayna Greenberg?

  But I had a girlfriend talking to me the other day and she was sending me her screenshot, my friend Emily, our friend Emily, or my friend.

• 27:28Rayna Greenberg?

  She was sending screenshots of things she was talking to this guy about and she likes to talk, she watches these documentaries about Scotland, these like POV videos about living in Scotland.

• 27:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  POV.

• 27:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like.

• 27:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, that's her king.

• 27:39Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm, I watch different POV stuff.

• 27:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 27:42Rayna Greenberg?

  It's a porn category.

• 27:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  The kilt though, you know, I can get down some kilt.

• 27:45Rayna Greenberg?

  We were talking about like the way I talk to men, I was sending her some sex and she was like, we talked to men very differently and she was sending me these like Scotland things she's sending this guy and he was like, huh, okay. But I was like, I think this is cute. I think it's cute that you're sharing like really specific things about yourself.

• 28:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 28:02Rayna Greenberg?

  And not that like wanting to live in Scotland is of value, but like she has these specific interests and I don't think she's trying to like cast a wide net. I think she's like, this is what I'm like, I'm a little nerdy in my interests sometimes. I like history, I like, but I liked it because I was like, this is the opposite of casting a wide net. This is like, this is what I am.

• 28:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  A niche net, yeah.

• 28:19Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. And this is like, this is what you're getting, if you don't like that, that might not be for everybody. You can see yourself out.

• 28:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And if you don't like it, sure, but if you won't even humor me or entertain it, like I love when I meet somebody, friend, or even when I was on these streets dating that like has a niche interest and they're passionate about it. And even if I'm not into it, I want to hear them talk about it and I'm going to ask questions and try to understand their passion for it.

• 28:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Absolutely. But to your point, politics is probably the number one thing that people are saying, like I have no tolerance today for somebody who is not aligned with my beliefs.

• 28:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  At this point, I cannot imagine going into a first date, because I'm married, I'm kidding, if I were dating, I cannot imagine a world going into a first date not knowing where someone stood, but I absolutely cannot imagine leaving a first date and knowing, like we're at like an inflection point in this country and I just. Feel like if you are still in support of Donald Trump and the violence and the attacks in the communities and the blatant racism and the child sex trafficking ring and just honestly, all the lies, the unhinged dictator behavior, like you should be publicly shamed.

• 29:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're getting there and I love to see it. Like if at this point, after all, after the last month, if you can still be like, I support this man, I love for you to be open about that because you should be publicly shamed. Like this is no more like, we hold different values and this and that. Like you don't have to be a super liberal person. You don't have to identify as that. But if you can't denounce this hate and racism and pedophilia, we are not moving forward. That's what it is. I mean, there is just a real line now between good and evil, I think. And it felt different in 2016, not to me. I still feel like there was a line and you should know better, but whatever. Here we are. But today, this defines your character, whether you're in a cult or not.

• 30:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. In 2016, I could still go on a date with somebody that genuinely identified as moderate. Not like was MAGA, but this is where I grew up. This is my family's like, this is how they've always voted. I think you could professionally work with people that were like that. I think you could have friends that were like that. I could go on a date with somebody like that and still go out with them again. You can't do that anymore today. It's so divisive. Like you have to be able to go home at the end of the day and talk to your romantic partner about what you're watching on the news, what you're scrolling on social media. I mean, I could not get through 20 minutes of, I can't, two minutes. I can't debate this with you.

• 30:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  And true moderates are opposed to Donald Trump. Let's be, if you call yourself a moderate and you support that, you're a MAGA. There's just the bucket now that's just MAGA. And so I need to know that you're not a MAGA.

• 31:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. Which Super Bowl halftime show did you watch?

• 31:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly. And again, if you are really passionate about it, you should find someone that is somewhat passionate as well and not just indifferent. I was reading this article, The Cut or The New York Times, where they interviewed this couple that broke up and it was political based and he wasn't MAGA, but he just didn't share her passion and it started to come between them and it eroded over time and it kind of started during COVID and it was fascinating to read her and his part of it. And again, it wasn't like he was this like MAGA guy, but they just didn't align in how much she cared about the state of the world. And there were other things too, but it ended up not working out for them. So I just think like you were saying

• 31:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  that Jeremy was saying, he was seeing this on field about like where people stood politically, like outright.

• 31:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I couldn't believe it because field is, I mean, I've gone on great dates with people from it, but at its core, it is a sex app to find people that are have like the same kinks as you. And Jeremy said every single person's profile says like, if you don't support Palestine, if you don't support free Palestine, don't message me. If you don't support Israel, don't message me. Like, he was like, there is this political statement in every single person's profile. And I was so shook by this. Like, I do understand this on Hinge, Bumble, I mean Tinder, but a sex app. But it's like, you can't come inside of here if you don't align with me politically. And I do get it.

• 32:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, wherever you want to draw that line.

• 32:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Listen to a man like passionately speaking about the same political things that I believe in. I was in a car with this guy the other night and he was like talking about comedians that helped to swing the election, including like Joe Rogan. And he was like, I think it's gross and it's like hard to be around that kind of thing. And I was like, I will suck your dick in this car right now.

• 32:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, these, Raina, sometimes I need to get off of TikTok with these hot liberal men. That one guy Chuck, I was like, you got it, we got it. And then Taylor sent me another one. I mean, there's so many of them. There's no hot MAGA. Those people are disgusting. Like, these men are so sexy and they're speaking out on behalf of women and immigrants and just the state of the world. And it's so hot. Like Taylor sent me one the other day. I was like, new crush alert. Like, you know, Jon Favreau is my hall pass. Like, I have the weirdest crushes because it's so hot.

• 33:20Rayna Greenberg?

  It's so hot. A man that will like speak out about this. I'm so turned on.

• 33:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  That guy Chuck, are we gonna get him off?

• 33:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I'll DM him.

• 33:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Sometimes I'm watching. So I was watching this one on TikTok and it wasn't one of these guys I mentioned. I don't remember his handle. And he was like, Basically just trying to speak to MAGA people and he was like, come on, come in close. I want to talk to you guys about something, you know, the rest of you, if you, you know, you're on the right side of history, you can keep scrolling. I'm like, I'm staying here. And the way I watched it, I was like, I shouldn't be watching. Like, I am so turned on by this man. I like, should not be watching this. He was like a beautiful man. Here I go again, just for getting up here.

• 33:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Our friend's husband, we got talking about politics recently and he's like, and I was like, he's never been hotter to me. He's friends with Shashank, like, Shashank was sitting right there.

• 34:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Shashank is a crush on him too. Shashank yesterday was like, he's so great.

• 34:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's so wonderful, but he's like, I was phone banking for Kamala. Like, I've been in the trenches for a really long time. And I was like, ooh, telling my friend who's married to him, I'm like, you got a good one.

• 34:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I did not have a no tolerance policy for this kind of stuff 10 years ago. And I mean, even like a few years ago, I didn't have an absolutely no tolerance, but I could still hang out with you. But I truly like today to support MAGA or not, like, people are like, not everything's political. Yes, it is. Everything today actually is political. It is what you think about gay people's rights and trans people's rights and women's rights and the rights of everybody, immigrants, any minority.

• 34:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  The Constitution, do you care about it?

• 34:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 34:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you care about actual law and order?

• 34:48Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I do. Abuse victims, I'm, everything is actually political today.

• 34:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  And pedophilia.

• 34:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. If you can look at that and you're fine with it, then you can't be up inside of this.

• 34:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And again, it's like the word politics or political in general is just can be such an inflammatory. It's not even that. It's just, it is just values at this point. Like, I sometimes frame it that way. We don't have the same type of values. I don't trust your character in today, in 2026.

• 35:13Rayna Greenberg?

  So I think it's fine to like lead with that.

• 35:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's like, I can't show up really anywhere and not be like, oh, what a fucking day. I mean, it's in 2026, like, if, there are so few days that go by that haven't been impacted by what the administration is doing. So it's like, I wouldn't roll up to a first date and again, immediately unload and start talking politics. But it has shaped the day. It has like colored my mood.

• 35:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, you're like very on that side of the internet, but even if you weren't, even if it wasn't you, I don't know how anybody is avoiding this today. Like, I am so happy for a break in politics. Like, when I finally get to like, talk about like, the Beckhams, or like, Kim Kardashian, Lewis Hamilton, like, I'm so happy for a five-second break in this bullshit. Like, I feel like you get happy and you're like, I'm almost hap- oh, nope, something terrible happened. Like, it's, we like, write these outlines for the snack and we're like, we can't talk about this all day. Like, we gotta find like, some joy. So, I just, I need to be able, at the end of the day, to like, be with my partner and talk about my values and what I think about, what I've seen on the internet all fucking day.

• 36:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and again, like, but to your point, like, rolling up to a date that you're excited about, a first date, a second date, you should be able to be light and not talk about quote-unquote "politics", or whatever's happening in the world that day. But like, we've been here an hour, time to say something. So, what do you think of the terrible thing that happened today? What do you, what do you think about Minnesota as a place?

• 36:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, you know, I don't know, it's just, I can't help myself.

• 36:48Rayna Greenberg?

  What do you think about children in cages? Yes or no?

• 36:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. Hey, what do you think the appropriate age of consent is? What do you think about Kid Rock?

• 36:56Rayna Greenberg?

  What do you think about non-Americans performing at the Super Bowl?

• 36:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  What do you think about this woman with Mar-a-Lago face? Is she attractive to you?

• 37:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Is orange an appropriate skin color?

• 37:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tanning beds, yea or nay?

• 37:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so that's the first one. We obviously went a little hard on it, but the second one is chalants.

• 37:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Chalance.

• 37:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Chalantion.

• 37:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Chalance or chalants? It's, you can say chalant-

• 37:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, nonch- oh, nonchalant.

• 37:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or chalants. So, it just means not nonchalant.

• 37:35Rayna Greenberg?

  It's a visible effort.

• 37:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 37:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Not nonchalant. Being vulnerable, even at the risk of being rejected. I mean, I think women were so conditioned to, don't be too much, don't ask for too much, be the cool girl.

• 37:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yep.

• 37:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Don't act like you have a lot of needs, or like, you're gonna like, draw a boundary. Just be cool, just be waterboarded by whatever it is that they wanna do to you.

• 37:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let it go.

• 37:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, don't be too much to handle.

• 38:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, the cool girl, the whole thing.

• 38:02Rayna Greenberg?

  And I think that like, I'm not, I'm not gonna shame women, but we all, we were all told to like chill out a little bit and be the cool girl. And then men's behavior ran wild. And now we need to get ahold of them. Now we need to explain to them how to behave.

• 38:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just, again, like, stopping the playing games, stop trying to be chill or detached. And vulnerability is what brings you closer to someone in a relationship. This isn't to say pour your heart out on date one. But if you're on the apps, express your intention on the app. And I'm hearing about more and more people expressing that on the date. Like, are you looking for a relationship or not? And again, but sometimes we're talking to people that are dating in their mid to late 30s or 40s. But I'm thinking of a friend who was back on the dating scene at 39, she's about to be 40, and was in a decade long relationship and is back out there. Date one,

• 38:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  she's upfront with people about what she's looking for and vice versa. And she's still figuring it out. And she's been playing the field. She's been crushing it. But she's not going into it like, I'm really just trying to have fun and hook up. And that is totally fine to say that, too. I think that's so refreshing, especially you go on a date with a guy, he's like, I'm honestly just like, trying to have fun right now. I'm not trying to settle down. Thank God, you told me.

• 39:23Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I love that. I love when somebody is just honest about what they're doing. And I think there is a really easy casual way to say like, this is what I'm looking for. It's not desperate. You know, I think people are like, I don't want to be too much. I don't want to sound desperate. Just saying that what you're looking for is not desperate. It's just honest. And somebody else can either match or not match that energy. That's fine. I want to know, do you want to get married? Do you want to be in a serious relationship? Do you want to have kids? I'm not firing it off. Like, you better tell me this right now.

• 39:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, here's your questionnaire.

• 39:49Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, I think it's kind of hot to be like confident enough to be like, this is what I'm looking for. If you're not, that's fine.

• 39:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and we always say, don't play hard to get, be hard to get, live a full life, don't make finding a partner your entire personality, and that will come through to potential love interest. You know, like, be busy, be doing the things, don't wait around for texts and calls and plans. Like, live your life and date around and do all the things and be confident and secure and happy, and that will come through. But like, to have to be thinking, this many hours before I respond to this, or this and that, like, trying to play the game, just try to live a life where you naturally are.

• 40:30Rayna Greenberg?

  It's so exhausting, trying to act like you don't care. And like, then it's on my mind, do I like text this person back? How long do I have to wait? Should I initiate a plan? Like, it's just too exhausting for me to like, keep up with that, you know? And it took me, it took me 40 years to get here, but if somebody does not, is not intentional, doesn't text me back, doesn't make plans, I just lose interest. And I don't need to like, be like, I'm looking for a serious relationship, but if you can't participate, it's just, I just lose, I'm not interested.

• 40:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know, and it's so nice to get to that point in your life. I was with a friend recently of ours, and one of her best friends is single, and she's younger, she's 32. Some of you guys are hearing that, like, oh my god, that's so old. But she's younger compared to us. I mean, that's 10 years younger than me. And she's still in that, like, only likes assholes, and guys treat her nicely, and it turns her off, and she just wants to, like, fuck this dusty guy who's mean. And I was like, oh, god, it's, we've all been there-ish, you know, some of us more than others, but man, when you outgrow that, it feels so good.

• 41:26Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, it's a lifetime of work, but I've had a couple of situations this year with guys that didn't treat me that nicely. And my immediate conclusion was, this says more about you than it does about me. And I don't feel so bad about myself and so rejected. I feel like you weren't that nice to me, and I feel like that's on you.

• 41:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm-hmm. Okay, let's take a quick break, and then we will go over the other four dating trends.

• 41:48Rayna Greenberg?

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• 42:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Who is she?

• 42:34Rayna Greenberg?

  She's so cute. You can wear matching sets. So my whole drawer is Skims and I also love their pajamas. I love this, the soft lounge set. I love this as a gift. I love this as a gift for yourself or somebody else. And you guys can shop our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you. It's like podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

• 42:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. And Nutriful, if you guys are on the internet, you are getting served ads for something that may or may not work. So much hair. I mean, just search, obviously hair, hair growth, hair shedding. I mean, the next time you open your social media, you'll be getting served ads. And a lot of these things like aren't products that actually work or that last or sustainable. And this is why Nutriful really stands out. So this is a product I've been taking for so many years. I have been on a hair journey and I really rely on it. I take the women's formula. I take my four capsules every single day without fail. Bring it when I'm traveling. I never want to forget it because I really think committing to that simple daily routine is what supports my hair health from within. And the results actually build over time. So I never want to miss a day. So Nutriful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand,

• 43:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  and it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. So again, this is going to help with hair thinning, shedding, just changes in general with your hair. It has a proactive approach to target the root causes. It's a clinically tested formula and I think it also helps with nails. My nails are longer and stronger than ever. I think it just helps like all around. It is not a one size fits all approach. Again, they have multiple formulas. I take the women's. They have the women's vegan, women's balance, postpartum and men's formula. Again, if you're dealing with any sort of postpartum hair changes, this is going to be somewhere to turn to. We've talked to so many women who that's what they've done. Once they've had their child and they start shedding out that pregnancy hair and then they turn to Nutriful.

• 44:24Ashley Hesseltine?

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• 44:53Rayna Greenberg?

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• 45:36Rayna Greenberg?

  that's real humans 24/7. I mean, I love what they're doing, and I also just like wish I would have had this when I was my younger self, because I would have benefited so much from this. I just, I was just overdraft feeling myself to death, and I couldn't afford that. I couldn't afford just $35, $35. I mean, it's just really stacked up. So to have something that really like on my side with no annual fees, no interest, no strings attached, would have been great. And that is what their Chime card is as well. It's a new way to build credit history with your own money and get rewarded for every single day. Chime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.com/girlsgottoeat. That is chime.com/girlsgottoeat.

• 46:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so this next one, I didn't see this explicitly on these lists, but I decided. And I mean, I saw some things that like alluded to it, and we'll get to that, but just romance in general, I think, is in. I think about Wuthering Heights coming out and Bridgerton and then shows like Heated Rivalry and it's just, it feels like we are wanting romance and it's, it's back.

• 46:42Rayna Greenberg?

  You know that the number one thing I hate, the number one trope I hate in any book, any movie, every TV show is some girl that's pining after some avoidantly attached man and she just waits around getting treated like shit.

• 46:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 46:55Rayna Greenberg?

  And he wakes up one day and realizes that she is the one.

• 46:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 46:59Rayna Greenberg?

  I hate it so much. I cannot digest any more content about this and like, I am glad there's finally more content.

• 47:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 47:05Rayna Greenberg?

  About like pursuing women.

• 47:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 47:07Rayna Greenberg?

  And just being kind to each other and like being romantic. I mean, that's what I'm looking for.

• 47:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent. So what does romance look like in 2026? You said visible effort before. Visible effort. This, this is it. Making a plan, listening when we talk and picking up on cues and then making a plan surrounding something that we like. Flowers, cards, follow-up texts. Did you get home okay? Do you even like, no, that's, the bar is so low. Like.

• 47:35Rayna Greenberg?

  I really think that we like this cool girl thing we all tried to do. It set the bar low. I'm part of the problem. I tried to cool girl myself to death. I don't like it. I want, I do, I want to text at the end of the night.

• 47:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 47:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I had a great time. Did you get home okay?

• 47:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 47:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Can I pay for your Uber?

• 47:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:51Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm not reaching for my card anymore.

• 47:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  No.

• 47:53Rayna Greenberg?

  You need to, you need to pay. If you, if I reach for my card, we're going to be friends.

• 47:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent. No, if I insist on paying, never talk to me again.

• 48:00Rayna Greenberg?

  If you say yes. If you allow me to split the check with you, I just, I'll listen, I'm not doing it.

• 48:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  But then maybe we're on the same page. We hate each other.

• 48:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 48:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Bye.

• 48:09Rayna Greenberg?

  I know. But like, listen to what I say and send me an article tomorrow about like something that you saw that made you think of me. Like just a follow-up, a plan.

• 48:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just the plan. So I was watching Logan Urie on the Today Show and she was saying that we women prioritize planning over paying. You need to pay too. But our top priority is like having the plan. She said effort is the new currency. And she said 72% of women on Hinge say they prefer someone who makes more effort versus someone who makes a higher income. Of course, you probably want someone who has a job and who is, you know, who is financially stable and maybe you're looking for a rich guy, whatever. But like, this is the thing women are talking about the most. I mean, we're preaching to the choir with our audience, but men that are listening, I mean, this is the thing. It's the plan.

• 48:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't care how much money you make. And I know that I'm in a financial position that I support myself, you know, and I know that everybody's not in that position. A lot of people would like a dual income household. I don't have that option at the moment. So I have to support myself. But I would much rather you tell me like this thing that you planned for us than like, this is this thing I'm paying for this like, amount of money I bring to the table. I, I can find a million men that bring a lot of money to the table. I don't care.

• 49:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so true. And again, I feel like Kiki Palmer where we're like, we don't need your money. We got the money, you know, and not everybody has that situation. But I think men, a lot of times have historically gotten away with, I make the money for both of us. And that's, I don't need to do anything else. I'm paying for it. You plan it. And again, I understand if there's a world in which if a woman isn't working, and we're talking about heterosexual relationships, of course, the man isn't, he's paying for the stuff, he's paying for the vacation, you got to plan it, you, he's working, you're not, whatever you guys got going on. But early days, this like, I'm a rich finance guy, I don't need to put in any effort aside from picking up the bill. I think we are out on that. Where do you want to go? Let me know where you want to go. I'll meet you there and I'll pay.

• 50:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  That is such an ick to me. Like, your only value is that you're paying for this. You didn't plan it. I had to plan it. I had to do glam and get an outfit and get myself here. All you're doing is paying. Again, like, not everybody has money, but I could have paid for this. So plan the thing.

• 50:24Rayna Greenberg?

  But that's, that's the whole thing about like, women today are like, so educated, we make our own money. And like, the value that we need our partner to bring is not money anymore. And we need you to bring your personalities to the table. And what do you, how are you going to emotionally support me? Like, the last thing that women today really, listen, I'll take your money too. But I, I think on the list, like, when I talk to my girlfriends, like, what are you looking for today? I rarely hear money.

• 50:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know, I know.

• 50:50Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, all my girlfriends can support themselves. If you're single, you're supporting yourself. So. I never hear really girlfriends, I mean, all my friends want to date somebody who's financially stable, can take care of themselves.

• 51:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Of course, of course. No one's like, I want a broke ass bitch.

• 51:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I'd like to support this man.

• 51:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 51:03Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, I don't know, it's so far down on the list these days. Like, I would like you to bring your personality to the table and your thoughtfulness and your effort.

• 51:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, and in terms of planning, this is not saying plan everything. I, I plan more in our relationship because I want to do what I want to do. But I'm even thinking of early days with Shashank, just the thoughtfulness, he would send me songs, things like that. And he, of course, would plan stuff and flowers and cards. And he's really sentimental and thoughtful, too. You don't have to go as hard as he does. He really is the elite. But just that you thought about this. I think that's, again, like, it goes so far. You listen to a thing I was into and have an idea or, and have like, now have presented me with, you want to go to this thing next weekend or this type of food I like? That is the lowest bar. Like, you have asked what type of food she likes and that's where you

• 51:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  take her the next date. Oh, my God, the romance. I'm being serious. Like, we're like, that's so romantic. Like, literally, right? Like, we, as women, if I said, I like tacos, and the second date, he was like, I remember you saying you love tacos. I'd love to take you to my favorite taco place. I'm literally telling my friends on the group chat, this is romantic.

• 52:12Rayna Greenberg?

  So I'm busting the door open. I'm like, guess what he did?

• 52:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Guess what he did? He listened.

• 52:16Rayna Greenberg?

  He listened to a sentence I said.

• 52:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 52:17Rayna Greenberg?

  And he plays something we would both enjoy.

• 52:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And the other thing that is a trend that I saw is this yearning energy, yearner energy, however you want to phrase it. And again, this is why we're obsessed with heated rivalry, summer I turn pretty, Bridgerton. It's that yearning of it all. And it's hot to want someone. That's what it is. It's just, it's, it's hot to be wanted. It's hot to, to have that type of tension and that will they, won't they? And I'm not saying to want someone you can't have and that, that's not what I'm talking about. That, that sucks. You know, but on the positive side of it, it's just showing that you want somebody. That's what's so hot of heated rivalry, if we're talking about that. For example, it got so hot when they went to the cottage because they were both in it. Like, the second

• 53:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  episode, I didn't love because that's when Ilya was a dick to Shane, and that's what made me almost turn the show off. And then, see, episode three brought me back because it was this yearning and this love story. Like, we like this shit. This shit is hot. Show that you like somebody.

• 53:16Rayna Greenberg?

  And Shane being like...

• 53:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Come to my cottage.

• 53:19Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, it's like the most memed thing on the internet. It's like somebody being actually intentional and being like, this is, I want this thing.

• 53:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 53:25Rayna Greenberg?

  And can I tell you about this? I was gonna talk about this on the snack, but it's fine because you brought Bridgerton. I was like in bed the other night and I watched the new episode of Tell Me Lies, which is just so much toxic, terrible male behavior. And then I watched a little bit of Euphoria season two, which is nothing but like this horrible love triangle. It's like Nate treating Cassie and Maddie so poorly. And I was like, why do I feel so bad in my body? Like, why do I feel so? And I had, I had had the same thing a couple of nights in a row. I watched a little bit of Tell Me Lies, then Euphoria and I had nightmares. I turned on Bridgerton right after and I was like, the palate cleanser.

• 53:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 53:56Rayna Greenberg?

  From Bridgerton. I feel like better in my body.

• 53:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 54:00Rayna Greenberg?

  I think I'm just starting to really not enjoy watching.

• 54:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 54:03Rayna Greenberg?

  This really bad male behavior towards women.

• 54:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent.

• 54:06Rayna Greenberg?

  And I don't know, I guess I used to, Tell Me Lies, season one was different. This toxicity, season three is so dark.

• 54:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. And I love the show. You know what? I'm gonna keep watching it, but I think you're so right. The tides have really shifted from a Tell Me Lies toxicity to this heated rivalry love story. And that is healthy growth for all of us.

• 54:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I know. I was so proud of me. I was like, oh, she doesn't like this that much anymore.

• 54:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Good. And we can all watch things that we don't want. I mean, that's the point of escapism. But if you find yourself really gravitating towards this healthy love and this yearning, you should listen to that. And if you still find yourself gravitating towards fucking Steven, then go to therapy.

• 54:47Rayna Greenberg?

  This season has beaten me down, man. It's been hard for me. Okay. So another trend, I think you, did you just tell me this is a trend, is voice noting.

• 54:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  I saw this as well on a few lists and I saw Logan talk about it as well.

• 55:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I love it. I've been doing this for about the last year with people. I mean, I just think that I'm so funny and I think that people should just hear me talk about stuff. I think that like, I'm just hilarious, but. I don't know, it communicates my personality also. And I also think this weeds people out quickly. If they're like, I'm not interested in this type of communication. Like, we always talk about people like, everybody communicates differently. They text differently. Some people call you and FaceTime you, which I don't like. But voice noting to me, it's like, I want you to hear me being like silly, ridiculous, talking really fast, lots of ideas and opinions. Like, if you don't like that, then I'm not for you. But I like, I like the level of intimacy it communicates.

• 55:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. I am obsessed with this in dating, and I was looking at it in a before a first date type of way. So I never did this. I sound like an old married lady, like I never back in my day. But in 2023, it was, but yes, we had voice notes, but we weren't using them like we do now. It was like a true primary form of communication. So I would have never thought before going on a date with somebody to to potentially voice note them. But Raina and I feel like we're the real trailblazers of needing to hear someone's voice. After I went out with that guy who I had a great banter with, and he showed up with the voice of Michael Jackson, I was like, I need to hear someone's voice going forward. And no, I don't want to get on an introductory call. So the voice note is the perfect way. And then Hinge, of course, adopted the voice prompts and we were like, they copied us.

• 56:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  But the voice note is, is a way to do it. And I like that sometimes the vibe on a voice note is like, I just didn't want to text. And it's not in like a lazy way, but it's just like, have you ever surprised, voice noted someone that like, you've just, like, I think I had a videographer at one time in a city that I'd hired for my tour, and I just was like, doing something, didn't feel like texting had something I feel like needed a little more context. I voice noted this stranger and had to be like, I'm so sorry to voice note you right now, but like, here's where I'm at. Like, I think it can surprise people, maybe not always in the best way, but there's nothing wrong with being like, so this is weird, but I just wanted to voice note you, like, accepting that, like, we are strangers before a first date, and I just wanted to send you this voice note, like even introducing it in that way.

• 56:59Rayna Greenberg?

  I love it. I also voice noted a videographer the other day who was a new videographer. I needed to give him some context.

• 57:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, yeah.

• 57:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I like to be able to hear the smile in somebody's voice, and everybody kind of looks for somebody different. We were talking to this girl the other day, she was talking about her husband, and she was like, I like guys that are a little more robotic. I like Tom. I like Tom Brady.

• 57:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tom Brady, yeah.

• 57:17Rayna Greenberg?

  And I was like, oh, that is a tough one. But like, if you heard that in a voice note, a guy that was a little more serious, a little more like self possessed and like poised, that probably wouldn't be for me. I want to hear the smile in your voice.

• 57:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes. But if you're a man with a hot voice and you were not voice noting before first dates, you are really missing out on an opportunity here. Like, I'm thinking about this, I'm just trying to put myself in these shoes of going on a first date with someone that you've had some communication with, hopefully you've had some banter with, you're looking forward to it, and they send you a voice note, hey, just want to say I'm really looking forward to our date tonight. Oh, I mean,

• 57:53Rayna Greenberg?

  panties are already on the floor.

• 57:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  10 seconds, you are finding up the group chat, you'll never believe what he did. Romance.

• 58:00Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm turned on by this.

• 58:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or if you hear Michael Jackson come through, date's canceled.

• 58:06Rayna Greenberg?

  Would you cancel on somebody?

• 58:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent.

• 58:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't know what I would do.

• 58:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  It had, it would have to be so bad. Like, again, that guy showed up, 6'6". Hey.

• 58:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  What's your favorite candle? Remember we talked about candles? You know, when I, when I was talking about candles with that guy, I was like, check please.

• 58:24Rayna Greenberg?

  It wasn't during COVID too, like we were already going through so much.

• 58:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was the week of the election results.

• 58:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, my God, it's so bad.

• 58:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Weird time. Yeah. So.

• 58:35Rayna Greenberg?

  I just like somebody that I like, I like a talker. I like somebody like, it feels to me like somebody that's gonna be like talking a lot, which, oh, I like someone's gonna ask me a lot of questions.

• 58:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I just really like this. And I do think years ago, before the voice note was so popular, before it even existed, I don't know what year it came out, you would sometimes find yourself in a situation where someone wanted to get on the phone. And I, it's too much. I don't know, it feels too serious. So this is like the perfect way. If you were really a person that's like, I really want to hear someone's voice, I want to hear their tone before I go spend my evening with them. This is the solution.

• 59:12Rayna Greenberg?

  And let yourself shine. It's how I shine is on a voice note. I mean, 90% of my relationships are only communicated via voice notes.

• 59:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly. If your voice notes ever got hacked, we'd be.

• 59:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, my God. Okay, so this is what, an example of something that just has been rebranded is friend influence.

• 59:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, friend fluence.

• 59:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Friend fluence.

• 59:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  And this is basically just having your friends set you up on dates, having your friends post on Instagram, this, she's single guys, you know, something like that. Who knows you better than your friends? Who can spot red flags quicker than your friends? Who can pick people out for you? Sometimes I think that like we self-filter people out that actually might be good matches for us. And you do need like, listen, this, you always need to give me a second opinion about what I think. I think I might want to do something until you tell me I don't. And I'm like, you're right. Sometimes you might think you like a guy, but you could be wrong. Or you might think that a friend That they're the problem. Rejected you, but as it turns out, you started it. But this is also can just be, like, there's different levels of this. We've seen different

• 1:00:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  bullet points about like, the group chat test. I read this thing. This is a Vice article. It says your friends act as your emotional co-pilots, providing immediate feedback on profiles, conversations, and potential dates. And they can vet for red flags. I mean, the main issue here is like, make sure you have solid friends who want the best for you. Who were we talking to recently? And she said she wanted a very specific answer that like, none of her stable friends would give her. So she asked her one, like, crazy friend. That wasn't me. That sounds exactly like me. She was just like, I knew she would tell me like, the toxic answer. So you kind of know. But we've said this before. You aren't just dating someone, you're dating their circle. You're dating their family and their friends. And this is something we've talked about for years, and also with Esther Perel, about having a group hang be a first or second

• 1:00:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  date. First date, not always for everybody. We also talked about it with Jared. Have someone meet you where you're already at. Like, if you're gonna go do this thing, watch football, whatever it is, with your friends at a sports bar, like, can this new person come? Again, maybe not. It's not first date for everybody, but second, 100%. Like, I'm gonna be out, why don't you stop by? And if you were somebody who wants someone who is confident and social, only a confident, social person is gonna show up. So they're vetted there. I read, this, this quote said, "Much of this shift likely stems from social media and the rise of dating talk, date with me videos. TikTok has turned modern dating into a shared activity", which is just kind of, again, the like, sharing the dating stories and like, come with me, but also like, my friend is single, what's up?

• 1:01:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I think this like works a little bit better with guys. I think you can invite some unwanted attention if you're like, look at this single hot girl, but like, I love those TikToks where it's like, hey, here's my friend.

• 1:01:52Rayna Greenberg?

  I know, I love those.

• 1:01:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's a solid dude. I'm vouching for him. I'm a woman who's vouching for this guy. Like, what's up? Like, why not use our friends and our friends' followings and circles to find dates?

• 1:02:03Rayna Greenberg?

  I also think, you know, we can only see the world through the lens by which we've experienced things. So like, if I have had two, three, four really negative dating experiences, I

• 1:02:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:13Rayna Greenberg?

  I will start to see the world through that lens. I use I as like the plural I, but your friends are able to zoom out a little bit more and be like, just because this person did this doesn't mean the next person. And I think that your friends can encourage you to kind of make different decisions because you're only seeing the world through the lens of you.

• 1:02:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm hmm. Yeah. And sometimes you really do need an outsider. I mean, obviously, your friends are biased because they want the best for you, but they're not in it the way that you are. And they are not dealing with all of your collective use of trauma baggage, whatever. It may be our friend that we were talking about who was back on the scene after dating 10 years. And she's also dealt with some health things and she's just, she went back on the dating scene with a lot going on. And I think she has really leaned on her friends to tell her, like, what's, I don't know, a red flag, a green flag, like, am I overreacting? Is this an ick? Or what's normal out there these days? She hasn't dated in 10 years and she's been through some shit. So.

• 1:03:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Have you ever thought about that? I mean, so many people at 40 are going through their first divorce or their first ending of a very serious long-term relationship. They haven't been in the dating world for so long.

• 1:03:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And she's had some barriers getting physical with some of these guys. And she's just like, is it them or is it me? I mean, she's really being open and vulnerable. And like, is it me? Or is it this person? And we don't know, you know, but I think we're really always trying to take a look at the situation and be like, actually, I don't think you really like that guy. And then there's another guy that's like, actually, I think you should lean into this guy. I think that it's your. Own shit, holding you back from opening up to him. And so I like that she has turned to her. And she's a therapist. I mean, she has all the information, but it's sometimes you can't see it from the outside, the way your friends can.

• 1:03:53Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm a therapist and I can't, I can't see it when it's happening to me. I can give her advice all day long. She was like, maybe this, I was like, you don't like him. You don't like him is the answer. You just stuff that into him.

• 1:04:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:04Rayna Greenberg?

  That's the answer.

• 1:04:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, sometimes you're right. You have, a friend can be like, you don't like him, or a friend can be like, I think you do like him and you're scared for some reason, whether it's fear of rejection, or fear of intimacy, or whatever it may be.

• 1:04:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you think that's what's happening with me with that guy I told you I don't like? You're like, Raina, you really do like him.

• 1:04:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Raina, I'm terrified for you to like him. I think about it every day.

• 1:04:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm not gonna like him.

• 1:04:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  I can't, Raina, we can't, we, all of us, all the inner circle, can't, we can't do this again.

• 1:04:36Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I feel like there'll be a real intervention. I feel like you and Melanie.

• 1:04:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, that's what we thought last year, it'll be a real.

• 1:04:44Rayna Greenberg?

  No.

• 1:04:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  What is our breaking point? I'm texting Melanie. Hey, when do we actually sit her down? We bring Bill?

• 1:04:51Rayna Greenberg?

  I feel like in the fall, that situation I went through, I think everybody tried to deal with me by not talking to me about it. I think everybody was like, if we just don't acknowledge it.

• 1:04:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Maybe it'll end.

• 1:05:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Maybe it'll go away. And I was like, okay, this did blow up in a way that I didn't expect. And I was like, pretty cold about it. But I feel like this time, people are not gonna be nice to me.

• 1:05:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  This time, you are gonna be alone on an island, sitting at home, crying, nobody to call. You're gonna have all these new friends all of a sudden, because they're the ones you can talk to.

• 1:05:19Rayna Greenberg?

  I love a new audience. I love a new audience. Like sometimes Meghan, who's like a newer friend in the last couple of years, like, I'll tell her stuff, and I know I could take it a little bit further with her.

• 1:05:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Then me or Melanie will do.

• 1:05:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, because you guys, you, you guys, Emily, you guys are like, I've done this. I'm done with this. Emily screamed to me, get your shit together. Emily was like, oh, for, one time I, I said, one day, Emily goes, oh, for fuck's sake.

• 1:05:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  And that's like your little sister. Like, that's Louisa to me. If, like, we have an older, little, I feel like we have a very, like, sibling vibe. And if she was like, Ashley, get your shit together, I'd be like, I will absolutely get my shit together. Oh, my God, okay.

• 1:05:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Emily, for fuck's sake. I was like, I will never bring this up again.

• 1:06:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. When someone that you have like an older sister energy towards tells you to fucking pull it together.

• 1:06:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  That means it's time. Okay, so the last one is just obviously AI. And we did talk about AI last year and I don't even, I should have listened back, but it's just changing every day and people obviously have mixed thoughts about AI and we're going to see more and more about how it plays into dating, but we couldn't talk about trends in anything without talking about the trends in AI. So, I mean, we might do a full episode on this down the road, but there are these apps that like basically are just using it to find you more compatible partners and ease the swiping fatigue. There's an app called No, I guess. It's like an AI matchmaker.

• 1:06:47Rayna Greenberg?

  So I was going to suggest one to you because our friend used one.

• 1:06:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, right, right, yeah.

• 1:06:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Really into it. It's called Amata, A-M-A-T-A. It's only in San Francisco and New York right now, but she had such a good experience with it. So there, there are all kinds of AI features on, on like the traditional dating apps like Hinge and Tinder and Bumble, but these are like specifically for matchmaking. And so she said.

• 1:07:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  For matchmaking, yeah.

• 1:07:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, so they match you with somebody. It removes all swiping. So basically she said, it's front loaded with a little more stuff. So you have to really give more information about what your intentions are, what you're looking for. It's not just like answer these three prompts. Like she said, you really have to, and all, all of these ones like this are a little more work on the front end for you. But then it just goes into the database and it just matches you with people. You don't have to swipe. I mean, this is what I've always wanted. Like I've always just said, like, set me up on a date and I'll just go to the date. And like, she basically said, you put your availability, they meet somebody, and if you don't commit after matching with somebody, or if you bail or cancel, you get penalized. And there's things like that. So it's also like, it controls for bad behavior also. So like, you're not just like constantly be like, yeah, I'm going to meet up with somebody.

• 1:07:50Rayna Greenberg?

  And then they go soon, you'll never hear from them again. Like, people that are on this app and similar apps, like, you have to behave correctly or you can't be on that app.

• 1:07:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  A hundred percent. Yeah. And again, like, all these apps are using AI and not all of them are promoting it. But Tinder, I guess, is implementing this new feature called chemistry that's going to be AI based. I mean, they're all using them. I listened to. The Bumble founder heard an interview with the Daily last year about where Bumble's headed. And so they're all using these, everything is, every tech platform is using AI in some way. But there are, like Raina said, these actual apps that are like AI matchmakers for you. And again, it's not, it's not a human. They can't always get it right. But a human matchmaker can't always get it right. I mean, but it's like, it's all just information and pattern based. And I mean, I remember when Hinge, they probably still do this, I haven't been on it in a while, asks you like, did you go on the date, you know, things like that.

• 1:08:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, maybe they're vetting for people who actually go on dates, you know, and they're going to match more people that go on the dates because they can tell people they're just swiping for fun in a non-committal way. So there are positives to it, and I like that it could ease dating fatigue in general.

• 1:08:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, just, it's the swiping that is the barrier for me. That's the bottleneck for me. Like, I know that you could argue that like the downside of this is that everybody's going to say, I want the same thing. Everybody's going to optimize for a certain type of height and income level and career and things like that. But yes, sure, sure, that's true. What did Scott Galloway say? Like, the top 10% of people on a dating app get like 90% of the attention, something like that. But that's always a risk in any dating app scenario. Like, I'd rather somebody remove the swiping for me and just be like, we found this person. Would you like to go out with them? Based on the things you said that you like.

• 1:09:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or who you actually dated in the past. Like, Rayna Greenberg, Raina's like, oh, I want someone 6'5". And they're like, how tall was your last boyfriend? Be honest. We found pictures on the internet of it. And we actually say that he was 5'11". So you're going to take this fucking 5'11" guy. Like, I'd like that they would be like, you're lying, and we know you're lying, and we checked the internet.

• 1:09:47Rayna Greenberg?

  That's a funny app that's just like, okay, we know you said you wanted, but you actually like broke guys. And you say you want somebody with a career, but you don't.

• 1:09:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God, that's a funny app, just tough love. We just call it tough love, but it's like, lying.

• 1:10:03Rayna Greenberg?

  And then I purposely sleep with somebody that's 6'4", just to up my average.

• 1:10:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, exactly. That is so funny. You have your own little AI bot. It's like, I actually checked your Instagram and what you're saying you wanted.

• 1:10:14Rayna Greenberg?

  And they're like, ma'am, no. And I'm like, I did just sleep with somebody that's 6'4". Do you want to see his dick pics? I have to like submit them through the app. They're like, prove it.

• 1:10:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  The photos. Give a rating. Okay, so those are your trends to look out for in 2026. If you guys have other ones, let us know in the comments on YouTube or Spotify. I always love reading your comments. We were just reading a chaotic comment section the other day from two weeks ago episode. It was all over the place. So we always like seeing what you guys have to say. And leave a rating for the podcast if you're here. We are eight years in. So if you are enjoying it, just leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify and subscribe on YouTube and share this with a friend. I think this is a great episode to share, especially with your friends who are out there in the dating scene. This will be a good one. And girlsgottaeat.com, girlsgotta eat podcasts on Instagram and TikTok.

• 1:11:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I am Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok, reina.greenberg, Rayna greenberg.com for her tour tickets and all the other things I said. And we'll see you Thursday.

• 1:11:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Have a great week, guys.

• 1:11:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Bye.