Armchair Anonymous: Dental Disaster

Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about a dental disaster. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Rogers.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:07Dax Shepard?

  This is the worst episode that we've ever recorded for me.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  In your opinion.

• 0:12Dax Shepard?

  For me. We finally found the thing that I was very squeamish about.

• 0:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. Shockingly so.

• 0:18Dax Shepard?

  My knees were quaking.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  A lot of people, I think, have mouthed fear.

• 0:23Dax Shepard?

  Yes. This is dental disasters. And most of my nightmares I've had, I got to hear people have lived.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:31Dax Shepard?

  This is rough.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  But they're great.

• 0:34Dax Shepard?

  Don't listen.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  No, listen.

• 0:35Dax Shepard?

  Do not listen to this.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  If you're a tough guy like Monica, then you can listen.

• 0:41Dax Shepard?

  You were warned. Please enjoy dental disasters. We get support from Quince.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.

• 0:56Dax Shepard?

  I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince, because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories. They skip the middlemen and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.

• 1:36Dax Shepard?

  The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time and he looks iconic.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  It's a uniform.

• 1:47Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.

• 2:05Dax Shepard?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers. Or go to quince.com get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that too.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs. So the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else.

• 2:53Dax Shepard?

  AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, superfoods, backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials. Key nutrient levels improved with three months of consistent use.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.

• 3:11Dax Shepard?

  It's an easy everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.

• 3:29Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax and after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Expert sent you.

• 4:13Dax Shepard?

  Hi, is this Christie?

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is.

• 4:16Dax Shepard?

  Where are you?

• 4:16Speaker 02

  I know, I didn't give you much to go off of.

• 4:18Dax Shepard?

  You do have a beautiful baby picture behind you.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  It's actually a blanket, but it is my daughter's photo. But I'm in Reading, California.

• 4:26Dax Shepard?

  And how's the dental work up there in Reading? Do you have a lot of good options for dental work?

• 4:31Speaker 02

  What's funny is I worked in dentistry for eight years. So I do keep a good eye out for good dentists. I did find one.

• 4:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so walk us through your disaster. Now I'm wondering if you witnessed one. I didn't even consider that.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Same, this is one of those like police ones where we don't know what angle we're gonna get.

• 4:47Dax Shepard?

  What side of the equation?

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Sadly, it's me. So it was February of 2022. We actually had just moved to Reading about six months prior to that. My brother lives here. My mom ended up moving out here and so did my in-laws. But at the time, it was just my brother's family and we were new to Reading. My dad was in town visiting because February is a very big month in our family for birthdays. So this one happened to be my niece, which is about the third one down the line in February. And my daughter's birthday, who's now nine, but was turning six, is two days after my niece on Sunday, which is important to the story. We are going over, we're all doing a big old family birthday party at my brother's house. We walk in and my brother has three older kids. He's got three boys who at the time were 17, 15, and 13.

• 5:31Dax Shepard?

  Dangerous.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  That's a lot of boys.

• 5:35Dax Shepard?

  There's fire, there's blood.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Today was virtual reality goggles that they had just bought. And so they're all trying it out. They had a few friends over as well and they're having a ball. When we arrive, they're showing my dad. He's got the goggles on and they're showing him how to do all the things. And they're doing something where he's like flying like Superman over New York City.

• 5:56Dax Shepard?

  Can I interrupt you for one second? Cause our friend Eric just introduced us to this. He had read recently that one of the parts of your brain that atrophies the most as you get older is your ability to maintain your balance while your eyes are closed. So he's been making all of us, and if you're older, try this. You stand on one leg with your eyes closed. If you get to 30 seconds, that's a huge win if you're older. Does that play a role in this story?

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Not for my dad, no.

• 6:19Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. Sorry. What a waste of time detour. Sorry.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Well, it was a good teaching moment.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  It's a good tip, though.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  So my dad's had enough because they had him try something. He's deathly afraid of heights and it was way too real for him. And so he's like, I can't do this anymore, guys. Hands the goggles over to my husband, who is back at being like a 12 or 13 year old with these goggles on. My nephews are like, you need to try this plank game. You go up 40 stories in this building and then you gotta walk out on a plank and then just jump off.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Ah, no. That sounds horrible.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  So he tries it and he was like, oh my God, that feels so real. He's like, babe, you're not afraid of heights. You've got to try this. I see my three nephews looking at me and smirking and I was like, well, I'm not gonna be outdone by the boys. I did go skydiving for my 25th birthday. So I was like, I'm not gonna be played up here. I was like, yes, let's do it. So put on the goggles. My 15 year old nephew sets me up. He's like, stand right here, which is literally right in front of the couch. The TV in the entertainment center is about maybe six feet in front of me. Put on the goggles and immediately you're in this elevator. It shoots you up 40 stories and then the elevator opens and there's no more building. It's just like this plank. It's 40 stories up in New York City, skyscraper. So you can hear like all the cabs honking and city noise and all this stuff. It's

• 7:32Speaker 02

  really strange. You almost feel like you can even feel like wind blowing.

• 7:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, your brain's filling in everything.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  I immediately start to feel anxious and then I start talking myself down where I'm like, I'm in my brother's living room. You're standing on a rug. Just walk. Of course, I hear family in the background going, come on, walk. And at this point, it's my entire family that's there. There's a good 10 people watching me do this. I start walking down to the plank. I get to the end of the plank and I ask my nephew, I was like, so now what? He's like, jump. And there's buildings like in front of you. So I said, jump to the next building? He's like, no, just jump. I'm like, I'm not jumping to anything.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, like what's the point?

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Being like such an adult about this.

• 8:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Instead of just hopping off the end of the plank, I decide I'm all in. I'm gonna do a big old leap off this plank. I jump as high as I think I can to jump off this plank, not realizing that instead of jumping up, I've jumped out.

• 8:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh. Okay.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I could see that. Being tricky.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  So I jump forward and all goes dark for thirty seconds. The next thing I know is that my mouth is open. It's like on the edge of the entertainment.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  No.

• 8:39Dax Shepard?

  You landed mouth first on the entertainment center.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  I feel a tooth on my tongue.

• 8:45Dax Shepard?

  This is a rough prompt. I don't know why we did this.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  There's pictures that you can see.

• 8:52Dax Shepard?

  Can't wait. And I'm terrified.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  My brain takes a second. I just stand. It is dead silent. I can feel blood in my mouth. I cover my mouth and I walk straight to the bathroom. I close the door to assess the situation. I open my mouth and one of my teeth is basically touching my tongue. It's still, all my teeth are still connected to my gums.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  From what I can see, it looks like my forefront teeth are like kind of just bent down.

• 9:16Dax Shepard?

  This is fifty percent of the nightmares I've had in my life. Cause I think as I had so much orthodontia, it's my teeth are fucking pushed back in my mouth. I'm like, oh no.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  The people watching are just seeing a human stand and then jump into a table.

• 9:31Dax Shepard?

  Teeth first into it. Yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Yes. My very first thought was I cannot miss my six year old's birthday party on Sunday. I'm hosting a birthday party on Sunday, two days from now. Second thought is I guess I'm getting implants, but what does that look like this weekend? Like my mind just started going through like the different steps of the dentistry. So I walk out of the bathroom, still cupping my mouth so I don't freak out my daughter and my niece and probably the adults as well. And so I just sit down. Everybody's kind of circled around me. My husband comes up, my sister in law is on the phone with urgent care to see if we should go to an urgent care in ER. They tell her, send her to an ER. We take off. I haven't said a word. I'm not crying, not in any pain, which is in my opinion, very bizarre, but it must be the shock. We get over to the ER. I can't speak at all.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  My husband has to take the lead. I'm sitting here filling out paperwork while he's talking to like the intake nurse. She's trying to like make sense of what he's saying. She kind of wants to laugh a little bit and they've never dealt with any of this. The story's getting around because you can see staff is like peeking out to like try to get a look at me. First thing they do is take me back for a CT scan to see. If I fractured or broken any of my jaw or nose or anything of that nature. I broke and fractured nothing.

• 10:43Dax Shepard?

  Your teeth really absorbed all the uh the shock.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  The other thought that I had was my brother had just bought this new table and it was like recycled mango waters. It was like super duper fancy. I even said to my brother before I left, I was like, I'm sorry I ruined your table because my teeth marks are on it. Which there's a picture of that as well. Like you can see where my teeth.

• 11:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh wow. Yeah, I'd argue that you up the value of it. Yeah. That thing has a story now. Hey, did you check out the teeth marks in that reclaimed wood?

• 11:10Speaker 02

  They finally take me back. The emergency room doctor comes and looks at me and he's having a hard time trying to keep a straight face. Because he's never dealt with this and doesn't know what to do. He's not a dentist.

• 11:19Dax Shepard?

  I was gonna ask you that. It never occurred to me what you do with dental emergencies because it's not like there's a dental emergency room. And they don't have dentists on staff.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  No, you try to save the teeth as best you can. They tell you like if the tooth completely falls out, put it in a cup of milk immediately.

• 11:32Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  So they can try and put it back in its place.

• 11:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  His teeth tend to come back. But in my situation, since they hadn't totally fallen out. First he was like, do we have any dental cement anywhere in the ER? They literally had one tube that they were able to go and took the nurse like 15 minutes to track it down. He's never used dental cement in his life. He doesn't know how it works or what to do with it. So he said, I'm really sorry, but this might hurt a lot. I'm gonna have to push all your teeth back into place as best as I can.

• 12:01Dax Shepard?

  Ah.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  And then I'm gonna splint it with the dental cement. And it wasn't like he could numb me. He doesn't have like local anesthetic. They gave me some Tylenol.

• 12:10Dax Shepard?

  Guys, we need morphine.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  I'm still not feeling any pain, like not even a throbbing or anything. It was really strange. So he pushes my teeth back in. It wasn't painful. It was a lot of pressure. He makes a mess of the dental cement. He basically coated my teeth front and back however he could till just make sure they just stayed together. Until I'm able to get to a dentist.

• 12:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh god.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  He does the best he can, sends me on my way. There's no follow up appointment or anything. Now it's up to the dentists. Go home that night, nothing else I could really do. My husband and I are watching a show, but he's like in complete shock and kinda going through some trauma. He goes, you just don't understand. We all watched you dive in to this head first. Everybody was just like mouth open, like in shock. My dad's still traumatized to this day.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Oh, you're your dad.

• 12:52Dax Shepard?

  You ruined the birthday party.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Since we were new to town, I hadn't established a dentist yet. Happened to call the dentist that I had an appointment for a few weeks later to see if she could fit me in as an emergency. Told her what was going on, got a call back within like 10 minutes. Off to the dentist I go, she and her husband, who happens to be her dental assistant, taking my x-rays. And she's like, good news, none of your teeth are fractured or cracked. I was like, I thought for sure I'm getting implants. She's like, nope. As of now, it looks like I can push them further back into place. The ER doctor did a pretty decent job. She's like, this dental cement's gonna be fun trying to get off of your teeth.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Scrapey.

• 13:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  She was able to push them all back in. She then splinted it behind the teeth, made it pretty. And then she's like, next step is orthodontist because you're gonna have to hold them back in place. So, good news was I did get to attend my daughter's birthday party the following day. Nobody knew what had happened. My smile looked normal. Went to the orthodontist a couple of days later. I then got fitted for braces, which I then had to wear for the next 10 months.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Oh my god, this is a mess.

• 13:58Dax Shepard?

  It sounds like a fun game.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Just make sure it's a big, open area.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Yes, cautionary.

• 14:05Dax Shepard?

  A loony bin, like the padded cell.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Padded room, 100%.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Probably for a good four or five months, even with the braces on, I couldn't like bite into a piece of pizza. I had to like tear stuff off and chew with my back teeth because they just didn't feel firm and in place.

• 14:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  And even now, if I forget to wear my retainer one night, I can feel my teeth shifting. And then literally that week, my nephews all sold their VR goggles because they were all so traumatized. And they're like, I will never again put these things on my head.

• 14:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh wow, okay, you shut that down. Can we look at the photos now? Is it a good time?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:39Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay, I'm so scared.

• 14:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  It was a horrible.

• 14:47Dax Shepard?

  Let's get you looking at that one. That's a big tooth hanging out. Covered in blood. Yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 14:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay, this is after the fact. This looks good. This looks good. I like that. That's a healthy recovery.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, that's the same. Oh, God. Okay, you kind of underplayed the teeth marks on the new entertainment center. It looks like a puma.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 15:08Dax Shepard?

  Tried to take a bite out of it.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  The way that I fell, I must have scraped it and that's what pushed back. It was the best way to, I guess, have this injury if it was gonna happen, because I didn't break or lose anything.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Right. I'm shocked.

• 15:21Dax Shepard?

  That's a really good attitude. That's my nightmare right there.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  All right, so just no VR goggles for you.

• 15:26Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Probably gonna stay away from that.

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  Well, I gotta say, your teeth look spectacular right now.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, they do.

• 15:32Dax Shepard?

  No idea that you teeth dove into a piece of wood.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Thankfully, here in Reading, I found a great dentist in North Donut, so we're good there.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Perfect.

• 15:40Dax Shepard?

  That's good.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Well, thank you for sharing that trauma.

• 15:43Dax Shepard?

  That was terrible.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Really great to meet you guys, and have a great rest of your day.

• 15:47Dax Shepard?

  All right, thanks. Take care.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  I just keep looking at this table.

• 15:52Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh, imagining just. I keep thinking of the scene in American History X.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  That is a tough scene.

• 16:03Dax Shepard?

  Amanda?

• 16:04Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 16:05Dax Shepard?

  Hi, how are you?

• 16:07Speaker 03

  I'm good. How about you?

• 16:08Dax Shepard?

  Good. Is there pressure to go by Mandy?

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Not as much as you would think. I go by MK sometimes.

• 16:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I love that. MK Ultra. Or Olsen, take your pick.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, exactly. Does Amanda ever go by Amy?

• 16:21Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  I feel like there's a very specific Amanda that's a Mandy, and I don't think I'm that Amanda.

• 16:27Dax Shepard?

  It's making me wonder if my cousin Mandy's real name is Amanda.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  I'm sure it is.

• 16:32Dax Shepard?

  I wonder. I don't even know, because I've only ever called her Mandy.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Then maybe it's not. Maybe that's just her name.

• 16:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Mandy McGoldrick, alliteration.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Oh, I love alliteration.

• 16:41Dax Shepard?

  Eminem. But I like MK. MK's great. Where are you at, Amanda?

• 16:45Speaker 03

  I'm in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

• 16:46Dax Shepard?

  A great place, wholesome place, salt of earth place.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Been here all my life.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Oh, lovely.

• 16:52Dax Shepard?

  Not to insult you, but that's not been terribly long.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  That's fair. Well, I'm 32.

• 16:57Dax Shepard?

  You are? You look like a baby.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a compliment.

• 17:02Dax Shepard?

  I wish I could live long enough to have a follow up when you're 80 because I bet when you're 80, you're going to look about 45.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Maybe you will.

• 17:09Dax Shepard?

  But when she's 80, Moni, I would be 102.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay, all right, we'll schedule it.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  Put her on the cal.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Looking forward to it.

• 17:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, Amanda, you have a dental disaster story?

• 17:21Speaker 03

  I do, yeah. So this story takes place in 2019. I was 25 at the time, so imagine this face, but a little younger. I was working spring weekends at a summer camp in Pennsylvania, big lake, canoeing, archery. But one of the activities that we ran during that time was the zip line, and that's where this story takes place.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 17:41Dax Shepard?

  A lot of great stories start with a zip line.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  So when you run the zip line, there are three jobs that staff have to do. My friend Andy's job was to belay the kids up a tree so that they could go down the zip line. My friend Carla's job was to be at the top of the tree and send the kids down the zip line. And then my job was to catch the kids after they fly on the zip line and get them back on the ground. So I was on the ground. I also was responsible for running the pulley and rope that took the kid down the zip line back to the beginning of the zip line. So that particular day, zip line was running, business as usual for a while. But then Carla, who again was at the top of the tree, she lost her grip on the pulley in between kids and she sent the equipment down with nobody attached. So this happens sometimes and it's not really a big deal when it does, but it is a pain in the butt for staff because when

• 18:27Speaker 03

  a kid goes down the zip line, kind of like you were talking about physics, and their weight will take them back to a point in the zip line where I can reach them from the ground and unclip them. With no kid attached, the pulley and rope would get stuck at a point in the zip line that's just too high to reach from the ground.

• 18:43Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  So usually when that happens, you would have to get a big stick to get the pulley back to where you could reach it. And ultimately, some kids would miss out on zip lining because of the time that it would take to get that equipment back to the beginning of the line. So there is a workaround to that issue, and it's to jump and catch the pulley at the sweet spot where you can reach it from the ground. So the pulley's zooming down the zip line, my friend Carla yells at me, "Hey, grab it!" So without thinking, I ran and I jumped. When I did, I tripped in my boots and I fell forward.

• 19:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  It happened so fast that I wasn't able to catch myself properly and I landed face first and my upper lip took the brunt of the fall. And I remember hearing a crunching noise.

• 19:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, can you tell me what the surface you were on was? Just like kind of dirt earth?

• 19:26Speaker 03

  It was rocks.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 19:30Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 19:40Dax Shepard?

  This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing and Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skill set, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours, but at some point you're ready to put it out there and that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap. Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built-in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you need to go from,

• 20:23Dax Shepard?

  I've been working on this to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to Squarespace.com/dax for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We get support from Scottsdale, Arizona. Monica, with summer ending or heading into fall, I've been researching a nice quick getaway location and I keep coming back to Scottsdale, Arizona.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Ooh, Scottsdale's good. What's drawing you to it?

• 20:59Dax Shepard?

  Well, first of all, I have this wonderful memory of going there as a kid when I would go see my stepdad when he's working out there. The weather is perfect in fall, warm, sunny, no humidity, and you can really do whatever you want with your time there. I want to do a sunrise hike through the Sonoran Desert, be surrounded by Saguaro and then at the Same afternoon, just completely melt into a spa treatment at one of their luxury resorts.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Oh, that sounds amazing. I want to do that. Also, I was there visiting my brother once and I loved Old Town Scottsdale. It's so walkable. They have galleries and cute little restaurants and shops. The food scene alone is worth the trip.

• 21:38Dax Shepard?

  What I keep reading is that it's luxurious, but not stuffy. There's no pressure to do it a certain way. You can explore public art, check out the architecture, go off roading in the desert, or just sit and watch a sunset.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  It really is the perfect fall reset.

• 21:52Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about all Scottsdale has to offer at unwindinscottsdale.com. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, but you don't need a day on the calendar to give yourself permission to talk to someone. I've been in therapy for a long time and the stuff rattling around in my head always just quiets down the second I say it out loud. And it doesn't have to be some big life crisis. Maybe it's a work thing that's taking up too much space or hard relationship moment, or just a feeling that something's off. That's enough. That's worth talking about.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  You know, I love therapy more than anything. Gets me through. Often I'll want to cancel because I'm like, I don't really have anything to talk about. And then I'll go and I have some major revelation.

• 22:47Dax Shepard?

  You know, I was just talking to a friend who has just started it. And I said, one of the most powerful elements of it is just hearing yourself say out loud the thing that's been ruminating in your head and how different it sounds once it's out into the world. You gain perspective immediately just by hearing yourself say it.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 23:03Dax Shepard?

  If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside the US? You can still get 10% off your first month. Do yourself a favor and just try it. Future you will be grateful. Visit betterhelp.com/dax to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash DAX.

• 23:32Speaker 04

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• 23:52Speaker 01

  But you didn't fall into the apparatus, just into the ground.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  Just straight to the ground, yeah. An injury that happened near a zipline, but not a zipline.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 24:01Dax Shepard?

  This is sometimes how ziplines get a bad name. It's like other injuries are happening.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Nearby. The body will really betray us.

• 24:08Dax Shepard?

  It will.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  You just trip and fall on your face. Like, it's so embarrassing.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  My upper lip took the brunt of this fall that I went through.

• 24:16Dax Shepard?

  I'm seeing that you've sent a picture which scares me. I see it sitting. I'm not looking at it, it's turned over.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  I'm gonna look at it. Oh, I shouldn't have looked yet.

• 24:24Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  So getting up, I was convinced that I had knocked all of my teeth out. I held my hand in front of my mouth just in case I could catch some of the teeth because I had blood dripping from my mouth into my open hand. And as you might have guessed, the zipline was over for that day.

• 24:39Dax Shepard?

  Shut it down.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  You ruined it.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  All my fault. Everyone very quickly realized I wasn't okay. My friend Jack was running rifles from the other side of camp and he was called to run me over to urgent care. So we left camp and when we got to urgent care, urgent care immediately said, just go to the hospital.

• 24:55Dax Shepard?

  What was your reaction? Because mine would be embarrassment. And so I would be tempted to hide my crying. I probably wouldn't allow myself to cry. But what was your reaction? Were you screaming and crying or were you acting like nothing happened?

• 25:06Speaker 03

  I very clearly remember being asked while I was still on the ground, are you okay? And I had to think about it for a second and ultimately went, no.

• 25:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Oh, good, I'm glad you said no.

• 25:16Dax Shepard?

  You weren't.

• 25:17Speaker 03

  So the camp is in a pretty rural area. The closest hospital was able to give me some pain meds and a tetanus shot, which I remember being very impressed by the fact that I did not feel the tetanus shot at all because of the pain meds. And then they decided to send me in an ambulance to a more well-equipped hospital in Pittsburgh. Wasn't enough of an emergency to have the lights on, but I do now get to say that I've ridden in an ambulance. So that's kind of cool. At the new hospital, they told me that I had managed to break the bone above my top front teeth. So somehow I didn't break my nose.

• 25:46Dax Shepard?

  Your maxilla?

• 25:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Oh, it's this here?

• 25:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right here.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  Oh, ow.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, so somehow didn't lose any teeth when I fell. The picture that I sent you guys is a picture of the x-ray.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Oh, the x-ray.

• 26:00Dax Shepard?

  Let me see. Okay, let me check this out.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  So they fixed me up with some ugly yellow temporary braces that I had to wear for the whole summer to fix the broken bone. The original intention was that I was going to work that summer at that camp, but I ended up not being able to because it was just a little too broken. I eventually had to get root canals on my two front teeth.

• 26:19Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  I couldn't eat anything with the front of my mouth. So things like mozzarella sticks and sandwiches, I ate with a fork the whole summer.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 26:27Dax Shepard?

  Cut them up real tiny.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  All I wanted was a taco the whole summer.

• 26:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. See, you gotta have something. You really want it.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  Are you still afraid to eat corn on the cob?

• 26:36Speaker 03

  Actually, no. I have told dentists after the accident, I said, hey, a little sensitive in the front. And they were like, but you got root canals. It shouldn't be sensitive in the front. I was like, emotionally?

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:47Dax Shepard?

  Spiritually and emotionally.

• 26:50Dax Shepard?

  What could they do for that broken bone? You can't put a cast on your maxilla. What are you gonna do? You just gotta kind of strap those teeth together and make them do the work?

• 26:57Speaker 03

  Right. I was a first year teacher at the time, so I had to take a whole week off of work. Super embarrassing coming back with those big, ugly braces, but I did and went through the rest of May and June.

• 27:08Dax Shepard?

  Amanda, you would get a good boy award if you were around more because you're a teacher and a camp counselor.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:15Dax Shepard?

  And you had yellow braces. This is a lot of good boy stuff.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  You'll get the Jimmy Kimmel Best Boy.

• 27:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Best Boy. That's what I mean to say.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Thank you. Also, since I was working when I got hurt, I didn't have to pay a penny for any of my medical costs.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Oh, that's great.

• 27:28Dax Shepard?

  That was probably a pricey ambulance ride.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  And all these root canals.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  The one last thing that I wanted to mention specifically to you, Monica, is the hospital that I went to is actually the hospital that the show The Pit is based off of.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 27:41Dax Shepard?

  Really?

• 27:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. So every time I watch the show, I think about the time that I broke my face and how I could totally be on the show.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  Oh, they should write you in season three.

• 27:51Dax Shepard?

  Was your doctor a stone cold fox?

• 27:53Speaker 03

  I wish.

• 27:54Dax Shepard?

  No, no, a wily.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, that's so exciting. That's worth it.

• 27:58Dax Shepard?

  Was it as chaotic in there as the show depicts?

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Actually, yes. Had me on a bed in a hallway for a period of time. I was like, this is just like the show.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  They said it's extremely realistic.

• 28:10Dax Shepard?

  Watching the show, I'm like, if I showed up to that emergency room, I think I might go, I'd rather die.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, just take me outside. I think I'd rather die than be in here.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  No, not if Noah Wiley's there.

• 28:20Dax Shepard?

  You gotta wait hours before you see him.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  And he's in his hoodie.

• 28:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he loves his hoodies. Dirty, filthy hoodie.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  That's cool. I love that tidbit.

• 28:29Dax Shepard?

  She was right. All that talk about the pit, I finally watched it. She's right.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Yay. I'm so happy to hear. This is the first time.

• 28:36Dax Shepard?

  I wish you would have told me the entire series is just real time. That's such a cool part of it.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a huge part of it. It's the whole part, really.

• 28:44Dax Shepard?

  It is the whole part. You go like, oh my God, yeah, they fucking deal with so much shit in one hour.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  I know.

• 28:49Dax Shepard?

  Well, Amanda, I feel very lucky. I got to meet you. You're very, very sweet and I'm happy you're in the audience.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  This was very cool. I listen to Armchair Anonymous when I clean, so hello to future me mopping her floor.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yes. Love that. Shout out to yourself.

• 29:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  I am still friends with everyone who was working the zipline that day, including my friend Carla, who dropped the rope. But she introduced me to your podcast. Is it okay if she stops in to say hi?

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 29:15Dax Shepard?

  Let's get her in here.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  I'm gonna give her my headphones.

• 29:16Dax Shepard?

  She really fucked up.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Oh, hi.

• 29:21Dax Shepard?

  Nice to meet you. You really fucked up.

• 29:24Speaker 05

  Oh, I really did. I dropped the rope. It was a big time. It was all my fault. I still have a lot of guilt about it. My only saving grace is that I blame the rocks.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:35Dax Shepard?

  And can I ask you a question, Carla? Why aren't you on a sitcom?

• 29:38Speaker 05

  That's a great question. I've been wondering that my entire life. I was truly destined to be on a sitcom.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  I mean, time's not up.

• 29:46Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  You could still do it.

• 29:48Speaker 05

  I'm available if anybody wants to put me on a sitcom. She didn't mention that I was also her boss and had been for years.

• 29:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she might have had a lawsuit there.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  She's a best boy, so she's not gonna sue.

• 29:59Dax Shepard?

  She won a best boy award today.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  She won lots of awards.

• 30:02Dax Shepard?

  Well, nice meeting both of you.

• 30:04Speaker 05

  Thank you so much. We love the show so much.

• 30:06Dax Shepard?

  Thank you. All right, take care.

• 30:08Speaker 05

  Bye bye.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  Fun.

• 30:10Dax Shepard?

  She really is immediately funny.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  I guess email us, Warner Brothers.

• 30:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we'll connect you. All right, Amy, let's ask her if it's short for Amanda.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  You never know. That's weird that there's an Amy right now. That's Sim.

• 30:28Dax Shepard?

  Simmy.

• 30:30Speaker 06

  Hello. I'm dying to know why it's weird that there's another Amy.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 30:34Dax Shepard?

  We were gonna tell you anyways, because we interviewed an Amanda and Monica thought that perhaps Amy was a shortened version.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  I just wonder.

• 30:42Dax Shepard?

  I didn't think so, but you're Amy, so this is wonderful. You can clear this up.

• 30:46Speaker 06

  I don't think so. Maybe there's one though, so I shouldn't say that.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  There's gotta be one.

• 30:51Dax Shepard?

  I think your better question is like, is there even a long form of Amy? I don't think so. Is there?

• 30:55Speaker 06

  No. And I used to feel very ripped off that I only got three letters. I just felt like that was not enough, I guess, to act. You can relate.

• 31:02Dax Shepard?

  I'm opposite of you because I couldn't spell shit. I'm lazy. I don't want to write for a long time. So I was like, God bless. If I could get it down to two letters, that would be ideal.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  What's cool about Amy is it's three letters, but two syllables.

• 31:14Speaker 06

  You do get that little bonus. It's true. And top of the alphabet.

• 31:17Dax Shepard?

  Amy, where are you?

• 31:18Speaker 06

  I'm in Ontario in Canada.

• 31:20Dax Shepard?

  In London?

• 31:21Speaker 06

  I am in London.

• 31:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Where we went through our McDonald's bag out the window. Have you probably heard me say that before?

• 31:26Speaker 06

  Yes, I have.

• 31:27Dax Shepard?

  Home of Rachel McAdams. Any other famous alumni?

• 31:30Speaker 06

  We have some Olympians. I guess I would consider them famous.

• 31:34Dax Shepard?

  Hockey players?

• 31:35Speaker 06

  From London, maybe hockey players. Clearly I'm not up on the sports. I was gonna reference that my husband is from Windsor, so big like Detroit sports fans, but then I was scared that you'd ask me to talk about Detroit sports.

• 31:46Dax Shepard?

  I would never. But we had a great armchair anonymous story from London about the guy on the skateboard beating up the person and she had to go testify.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:56Dax Shepard?

  It was a meet cute.

• 31:57Speaker 06

  As we're listening to that episode, I was texting my friend Lauren, who got me into armchair, and we were like, we know exactly what bar that happened at. We've all done that walk home. And I'm like, God, it is the most believable story I've ever heard.

• 32:08Dax Shepard?

  Right. Least shocking story you could hear to come out of London. Okay, so you have a dental disaster story.

• 32:13Speaker 06

  This happened last year. So actually I just recently had the memories of some pictures that I'd sent and some texts that had popped up a year ago. But I think I'm very common in saying this, but I have a big fear of the dentist. Severe dental anxiety. My hands are like a bit sweaty right now thinking about, oh my God, I have to think about. Being at the dentist from when I was a kid, I feel like I was kind of gaslit into thinking that my mouth was frozen. It was not during a tooth extraction. So since then, I'm like, I don't trust you. I'm going to go for cleaning and that is it. Fortunately, I do have a new dentist in London, so things have been going pretty good with them. I go to the office, they have TVs on the ceiling.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Oh, that's fun.

• 32:49Speaker 06

  A nature documentary, I've watched a Taylor Swift documentary.

• 32:52Dax Shepard?

  What about getting the gas? A lot of places will give you the gas just for a cleaning.

• 32:55Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, we get the gas.

• 32:56Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. Yeah, if you have a lot of anxiety about the dentist.

• 32:59Speaker 06

  That is definitely part of the story is the gas for an appointment. So I put my AirPods in, I have noise cancelling on. I'm basically like, I'm gonna lay here, wish for this to be over, and you just push me a little bit when I'm done.

• 33:11Dax Shepard?

  You're gonna disassociate. You're like, I'm gonna go to another place.

• 33:14Speaker 06

  I'm not here. So my dentist does offer laughing gas. So if anyone has not had laughing gas, it basically is like a mask thing that goes over your nose, kind of is uncomfortable. You're breathing in a continuous mix of laughing gas and oxygen for most of your appointment. And I get it for a cleaning because I also hate cleanings. I want to feel like I just drank a bottle of wine or I smoked a joint. You kind of like melt into the chair. It's lovely.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Why aren't we allowed to just like have that?

• 33:39Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I used to do it recreationally.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  Really?

• 33:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you could go to this after-hours bar in Detroit and they had laughing gas balloons.

• 33:44Speaker 06

  This appointment that I was talking about last year was not a cleaning, though. It was actually an appointment to get a crown. So I was eating one of those hard suckers that have the gum in the middle and I cracked my tooth. Right when it happened, I was like, I don't actually care about the tooth. I care about the dentist's visits that are going to happen because of this stupid sucker. The appointment for the crown is a three-hour appointment. So a lot of dentists' offices will have two appointments. The first appointment, they kind of like shave your tooth down, they measure the crown, then you go on your way, and then you come back and get the crown fitted. My dentist, we're doing it all at once. We're gonna shave your tooth down, measure it, basically 3D print it while you're in the office. That's probably not the technical term, but that is how it was kind of described to me.

• 34:26Speaker 06

  So I knew that I was going into three-hour appointments, so my AirPods charge, wake up, I have my kind of work-from-home breakfast, which is ramen noodles, like three cups of coffee, very healthy breakfast, start my day.

• 34:37Dax Shepard?

  Empty carbs and three cups of coffee.

• 34:39Speaker 06

  Yes, perfect. And like 2,000 milligrams sodium.

• 34:44Speaker 06

  It is important to note that my hair is naturally very curly, like ringlet tight curls. And I have it down that day because, you know, laying down ponytail, super annoying. I get dropped off because I knew I might not be feeling great after, so I want to get a ride after. So I get to my dentist's appointment and I feel like it's starting off pretty normal. What was a little weird is I had to remind them that I wanted laughing gas. They can accommodate me, so that's all good. So I get down and I'm laying on the chair. They kind of fit that nose thing over. I'm immediately inhaling it as if I'm like desperate oxygen. Because I'm like, how quick can it relax? Then they fit me for a dental dam, which I need immediately pause about how unfortunate the name dental dam is. Because it also just shares the name with an STI prevention for oral sex. It was not that.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  And why are they calling it?

• 35:28Speaker 06

  I don't know why they also have the same name, because when I tell that story, they're like, why is your dentist fitting you for oral sex prevention?

• 35:36Dax Shepard?

  That's not comforting.

• 35:37Speaker 06

  This is like a blue sheet goes over your face. Your tooth is isolated. So imagine I'm laying down, my nose is covered from the laughing gas. My face is fully covered from the dental dam. Close my eyes, headphones on, getting through it, still trying to take as deep a breath as possible. And then the next thing I know, I pass out just in the chair, no notice. I've never fainted in my life. I didn't know what that feeling was. And I wake up and I am projectile vomiting everywhere, all over. And if you can imagine, I have a dental dam on.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  No.

• 36:06Speaker 06

  Puke cannot come forward. It is flying out of the sides of my mouth. I'm laying down, it's in my ears, it's in my hair. It hurts down my back.

• 36:16Dax Shepard?

  Noodles and coffee.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 36:19Speaker 06

  Yes, visible noodles and coffee.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Why aren't they getting you up?

• 36:24Speaker 06

  So they're trying to tilt me up and it's one of those chairs that they're like, err. It's never as fast as you want it to be. They're taking things out of my mouth and they're like, did you know you were going to pass out? Did you eat today? And I'm like, I clearly ate today. It is all over you. I can see a noodle on your shoulder. I can see a noodle over there. You know, those suction tools at the dentist's that suck up like blood and spit? They are actually not made for noodles.

• 36:47Dax Shepard?

  No, it's not going to work. You're going to clog that in a second.

• 36:49Speaker 06

  So I clogged it in a second, exactly as predicted. And I didn't just clog it for my treatment room, but the machine clogged for the whole office.

• 36:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's got a central vacuum attached to it.

• 37:09Speaker 04

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• 37:38Speaker 03

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• 38:09Speaker 05

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• 38:46Speaker 06

  So, the reason I know it clogged for the whole office is because what I did not mention is my dentist's office is open concept.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 38:54Dax Shepard?

  Wait, first of all, no.

• 38:56Speaker 06

  You walk in, there's a reception desk, and then imagine like a central island, almost like a room divider, but with separate alcoves coming off of that divider. No doors. It's fully open.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Why? That's a bad idea.

• 39:09Speaker 06

  So if like a kid is crying, someone's screaming, you'd hear it. If someone is throwing up...

• 39:14Speaker 01

  You have anxiety there.

• 39:16Dax Shepard?

  It's like getting dental surgery in the middle of the mall.

• 39:18Speaker 06

  Yes, everyone is immediately like their suction has stopped. What is going on? They're smelling puke. I'm still covered in the puke. So that machine is like getting dealt with while my dentist is talking to me about, you know, you're not supposed to eat before laughing gas, but because I had forgot to mention that I wanted it, they did not call me the day before.

• 39:38Speaker 06

  Don't eat.

• 39:38Dax Shepard?

  Comedy of errors.

• 39:39Speaker 06

  I get up, like you're kind of stumbling after laughing gas. I have to do a mini walk of shame to the bathroom, past all these open rooms. Go in the bathroom. I have my shirt off. I wore a white T-shirt that day, which is so lovely. Washing it in the sink. I'm like washing my noodle hair in the sink, which is literally the same texture as the ramen noodles.

• 40:02Speaker 06

  I am furiously texting my fiance, being like, you need to bring me a T-shirt. I cannot sit in this. But I'm just being like, I just have to rinse off, go out there, get my shit and go home. So I go out there and my dentist reminds me that you can't leave because we have to finish your crown appointment. The crown has started curing. It's not like a go home and come back later. It's sit for an hour and a half rest of your appointment.

• 40:25Dax Shepard?

  Well, he had a lot of stick to it.

• 40:27Speaker 06

  Send me home with the crown and I'll figure out how to do it myself. Please, I'm begging you.

• 40:32Dax Shepard?

  And they're probably now nervous to give you the gas again.

• 40:35Speaker 06

  I rejected the gas. I'm kind of like looking around for my AirPods, being like, oh my God, I just have to like white knuckle, get through this. Can't find them, of course. While laying back, the AirPods, covered in puke, fell out. Onto the ground in the puke. They got scooped in the garbage. So now I'm digging through my own.

• 40:52Speaker 06

  Fishing out my AirPods so I can listen to my emo playlist.

• 40:58Speaker 06

  It is horrible. AirPods are wiped off. I'm like, I don't care about my clothes today. They're getting wiped off. My fiance has texted me saying, I can't leave work. Until I'm ready to pick you up. So, so sorry. See you when I see you. I'll bring a towel.

• 41:10Dax Shepard?

  The theme of this story should have been suck it up.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Also, the sucking of the thing.

• 41:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the fiance is like suck it up. So it's, I can't get off work.

• 41:19Speaker 06

  So yes, I basically just sat through the rest of my appointment, paid and got in the car and then yeah. Had to drive with the windows down the whole time for the rest of the drive. And then I have not had laughing gas since.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  Wow, this is also a good cautionary tale, though. Do not eat before laughing gas. I didn't know that.

• 41:35Dax Shepard?

  Have you never had it, Monica?

• 41:36Speaker 01

  So at my Botox person, it's called something, but whatever.

• 41:40Dax Shepard?

  An esthetician?

• 41:40Speaker 01

  They have it there.

• 41:41Dax Shepard?

  Pronouns.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  You like suck on it with your mouth and I'm not good at it. I keep trying to do it and I'm not really inhaling it right or doing it right.

• 41:49Dax Shepard?

  You gotta really suck on it like your life depends on it.

• 41:51Speaker 01

  Good job. So no, I've never had it.

• 41:53Dax Shepard?

  And then when you're super high and they ask if you can feel it, you say it, no.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  I'm good.

• 41:57Speaker 06

  No, I didn't even know you turned it on yet, to be honest.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 42:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that's not good advice. I don't want anyone to assume you don't ever.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't do that.

• 42:05Dax Shepard?

  Always be honest. If you see, do you feel it? You say yes.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  I did not feel it, so I guess it would have been fine.

• 42:10Dax Shepard?

  We're so opposite. I mean, isn't that the most quintessential example of how different we are? Like, you're not even feeling it, but you're not asking for more. I'm feeling it. I'm like, guys, where is it?

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 42:20Speaker 06

  I think it's also like maybe someone doesn't need three hours of laughing gas.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's too much.

• 42:24Speaker 06

  My previous appointments were like 30 minutes. This was an hour and a half of like nitrous.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I kind of feel like they fucked up a little bit. They should have been monitoring a little bit, like how much laughing gas is being consumed.

• 42:35Dax Shepard?

  I don't want to blame them because I want people to have easy access.

• 42:37Speaker 06

  I blame myself. I probably could have.

• 42:39Dax Shepard?

  Had a better breakfast.

• 42:43Speaker 06

  Could have gone somewhere that had doors also.

• 42:45Dax Shepard?

  I mean, you might as well just eat in like a notebook of paper.

• 42:50Speaker 06

  I have been back to the dentist. They obviously very respectful, did not say anything, but you know, the second I left, they're like, what the fuck?

• 42:57Dax Shepard?

  To deal with that suction device, can they reverse the direction of the air and like blow out all this shit that got sucked in?

• 43:04Speaker 01

  This is horrible. I hate this.

• 43:05Dax Shepard?

  And then just shooting noodles everywhere.

• 43:12Speaker 06

  Cautionary tale, near death experience, all of it.

• 43:14Dax Shepard?

  That was delightful, Amy. I really liked it. Because most people we've talked to have been getting their teeth knocked out and I hate that.

• 43:20Speaker 06

  That's what I thought and I did truthfully read the prompt as dentist disasters. So a friend was like, I don't know if dentist is the same as dental. And then I was like, I read this wrong.

• 43:30Dax Shepard?

  No, listen, everyone needs to play it fast and loose. If you've got a good. Story that's even adjacent to the prom?

• 43:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:36Dax Shepard?

  Fucking submit it.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  Also, you wouldn't have been picked if it wasn't good.

• 43:40Speaker 06

  That's a great way to look at it.

• 43:42Dax Shepard?

  We are two for two for Londonites telling us great stories.

• 43:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, keep them coming, Londoners.

• 43:47Dax Shepard?

  It's been a while since I've thrown the trash out the window there. I gotta make a mental note to

• 43:51Speaker 01

  head on back.

• 43:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, since it's been too long.

• 43:53Speaker 06

  Perfect. We can't wait. I'll keep an eye out for it.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  Thanks for chatting with us.

• 43:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, lovely meeting you.

• 43:58Speaker 06

  Thanks so much. Lovely meeting you both.

• 44:00Dax Shepard?

  All right, take care.

• 44:01Speaker 06

  Bye.

• 44:02Dax Shepard?

  Bye. Let's talk to your friend.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, Elizabeth is joining us.

• 44:07Dax Shepard?

  Elizabeth.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  Elizabeth Lane.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  Elizabeth.

• 44:13Speaker 05

  Hi, guys.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  I forgot that this was happening until I saw your name on the sheet today.

• 44:19Speaker 05

  I was gonna text you, I'll see you, but I didn't know if that was going through back channels that weren't allowed.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  You're a good rule follower.

• 44:26Dax Shepard?

  I would have been like, well, that violated how this works, Monica. We can no longer do it ethically. The only thing that sucks about this, Elizabeth, is normally I'd ask where you're at. I know where you're at. You're like three miles down the road.

• 44:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:36Dax Shepard?

  I'd go, oh, Elizabeth, you go by Betsy. I know you don't go by Betsy.

• 44:39Speaker 01

  No.

• 44:41Speaker 05

  I was thinking, because Monica's obviously listened to the podcast, she might have heard some dental stuff. I've shared a story. I had this dentist who pressed his dick against my arm every time I went in.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  My.

• 44:53Dax Shepard?

  Was he wearing scrubs?

• 44:55Speaker 05

  No, he was wearing slacks.

• 44:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Trousers.

• 44:59Speaker 05

  And I continued to go to him for years because he did great work. And it was just the price of entry.

• 45:05Speaker 06

  Sometimes you have to make hard choices.

• 45:07Dax Shepard?

  Did you determine it was accidental or intentional? Because my hunch is if it was intentional, it would get hard.

• 45:14Speaker 05

  Well, that's interesting. And now I'm feeling a little self-conscious.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  Don't do that to Elizabeth. She's gonna feel not cute.

• 45:20Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no. But if your kink is like, oh, I love rubbing my dick on people's arms, clearly he would become aroused. Now I'm acting as his lawyer in the defense case. I'm like, well, my client's penis never became erect. So how can you claim this is his kink?

• 45:32Speaker 01

  How do we know it didn't, though? It might have.

• 45:33Speaker 05

  I'd like to think it did. And he just was dealing with some blood pressure.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 45:39Speaker 05

  Wait, you guys, I'm so sorry, but my audio recording for quick time.

• 45:44Dax Shepard?

  You're supposed to be a professional.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  I know. You are a professional.

• 45:46Dax Shepard?

  But luckily, it's sounding so good on our end that it'll be fine.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  It's fault. Yeah, let's blame Andy. Why aren't you in the studio?

• 45:53Speaker 05

  Cause Andy's in there working hard on best.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Oh shit. Couldn't take the time.

• 46:00Dax Shepard?

  Hold on, that was all orchestrated and it was done seamlessly. Why aren't you in the studio? Oh, cause Andy's, why is he using it? Cause best dead, which comes out on October 30th.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  Okay, dental.

• 46:13Dax Shepard?

  It's gonna top the guy rubbing his dick on your arm?

• 46:15Speaker 05

  This is much, much more sinister.

• 46:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 46:18Speaker 05

  No, I'm just kidding. So I was about seven or eight years old. I lived at the time in East Bay, San Francisco. I moved pretty soon after this to St. Louis. So that plays a part in the mystery that surrounds this lore. I was at a slumber party and it was the first one with a lot of girls who I didn't know.

• 46:38Dax Shepard?

  That's pretty young for a slumber party. You have kids, I have kids.

• 46:41Speaker 05

  We don't actually do them because in part of this and some other stuff that happens, we don't need to get into that.

• 46:47Speaker 01

  But they're called something now, right? What is that thing where you go and you come home?

• 46:51Speaker 05

  Asleep under. I had a vibe there. First of all, I was like, oh, these people are rich because they had two stories in their house and I didn't even know that was a possibility. We were in the downstairs area and it was a bunch of girls I didn't know and I was feeling very insecure and it was time to go to sleep and we all lined up our sleeping bags around a pool table.

• 47:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh, so this is the rec room.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  They are obviously.

• 47:15Dax Shepard?

  They have enough square footage for a rec room.

• 47:17Speaker 05

  I was like, are we in Clue right now with the billiard room?

• 47:21Dax Shepard?

  Was it wood panel?

• 47:22Speaker 05

  I'm sure there was wood paneling. It was definitely that vibe. I'm out of my element. I go to sleep and there was also some sort of mean girl stuff going on. And I was just like, I just want to get home, but I'm gonna tough it out. And I wake up in the middle of the night with warm goo on my face and a mom screaming at me, but I can't hear her. Then the lights go on and I realized the goo on my face is blood and I start trying to talk and I'm like crunching something. And I realize in my mind, I had bit a pool ball, but it was actually my four front teeth were shattered because a pool ball.

• 48:07Speaker 05

  In the middle of the night.

• 48:09Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 48:09Speaker 05

  Had jumped the lip of the pool table somehow and landed on my nose and mouth.

• 48:14Dax Shepard?

  Because some kids were playing with the pool balls?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  That's the mystery.

• 48:18Dax Shepard?

  Or there's a.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  I have my own theory about this.

• 48:21Speaker 05

  I am welcoming all theories because I never found out what happened. By the way, my parents had me in orthodontia. I have a picture of me in a headgear at Disneyland when I was six. They had worked really hard on these puppies.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  You have great teeth.

• 48:36Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  You do.

• 48:38Speaker 05

  They didn't fix the nose, but the teeth I got fixed and I remembered my dentist was a classmate's dad. So that's kind of one line I could have if I really ever decided to look into this, but no one knows what happened. Why in the middle of the night, a pool ball landed squarely on the middle of my little face? Now it could be a ghost.

• 49:01Dax Shepard?

  No, wait, hold on. I gotta add something. This is my issue with the story. Why is the mom waking you up and aware that this all happened? You're not screaming.

• 49:10Speaker 05

  I think I was.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  In pain without knowing.

• 49:12Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So I'm like, she just happened to be looking at you and this happened. Cause then I'm like, then the mom did it.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Oh, right. Munchausen?

• 49:21Dax Shepard?

  Yes, psycho.

• 49:22Speaker 05

  She was like, this little bitch.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. She was mean to my daughter.

• 49:26Speaker 05

  Can you imagine though, having a sleepover and waking up and some kid has their face smashed from your billiards table?

• 49:34Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm like, okay, we just lost the house. For sure. This family's suing and they're gonna win.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  But you know, my theory is that there was likely a pet in that house, most likely a cat.

• 49:50Dax Shepard?

  My God.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  This makes so, you guys, I can't believe.

• 49:53Dax Shepard?

  You could spend the rest of your life trying to train a cat to pick up a pool ball and you would fail.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  Not pick up. They just were scurrying across the pool table. They knocked it over. Yeah. They knocked it. It fell over the lip.

• 50:04Dax Shepard?

  Did they have a lot of cats, Elizabeth?

• 50:06Speaker 05

  I don't recall any felines there, but that's not crazier than like a ghost.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Oh, what?

• 50:12Dax Shepard?

  It's adjacent though.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  I know you're very pro cats and this is a hard conversation to have.

• 50:17Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's what I think is funny is you just map on whatever thing you're afraid of. You're like, well, it's definitely a dog or a cat. It was a cat, but it was a lion. That's what I'm afraid of.

• 50:26Speaker 05

  And I'm like, the mom didn't like my look.

• 50:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 50:32Speaker 05

  But it probably was a little sociopath kid who in the middle of the night, and I'd like to think that she didn't really realize the damage that would happen and thought a pool ball was softer.

• 50:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And just dropped it on your face to see what happened?

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Or threw it or something.

• 50:48Dax Shepard?

  I think they might have been horsing around. You know, when you're a kid and you're playing pool with your hand, you're just trying to get it in.

• 50:53Speaker 05

  Being stupid.

• 50:54Dax Shepard?

  You're pushing too hard and then they pop off the table. That's the most generous explanation is it was a game injury.

• 51:01Speaker 05

  Girls being girls.

• 51:02Dax Shepard?

  Ah, girls being girls.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Girls being girls, cats being cats.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  It's really haunted me because I can't whiten my teeth because those four teeth just stay the stained color that they are unless I want to redo all of them. So it's been such a burden.

• 51:17Dax Shepard?

  Wait, why? Okay. So you wake up, you got, you're covered in blood and then how do we treat this?

• 51:23Speaker 05

  They put, it's not veneers, but it's a crown type thing on these four teeth.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  Bonding, kind of?

• 51:31Speaker 05

  I think it is bonding.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Oh, bonding is not very sturdy. I've had it twice and it falls off.

• 51:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's like patching a hole in a wall with the plaster repair. So you go in there and they just kind of shape willy nilly with that stuff.

• 51:43Speaker 05

  Yes. Honestly, Benji's dad did a great job because they lasted a very long time. And then it's just every 10 years or so, I gotta go in and have them popped back on.

• 51:54Dax Shepard?

  If you had incidents where you bite into something and half your front teeth crack off?

• 51:58Speaker 05

  Yes. And so now you know why I was willing to put up with what I'm going to call a semi hard dick pressing up against my arm.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:07Dax Shepard?

  A chub, we would call it. That's fully committed.

• 52:09Speaker 05

  I need a specialty dental experience.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Right. But your teeth are very, very white. We were just talking about white teeth earlier today. And I actually, I thought in my head, Elizabeth has white teeth. I noticed it a lot.

• 52:20Speaker 05

  That is so nice.

• 52:22Dax Shepard?

  No, yeah, yeah. Beautiful teeth. You'd have no idea that you were assaulted with a pool ball at a sleepover. But, cause you're so game and I like this rivulet of conversation. So you felt that Dennis's penis on your arm a bunch of times. Do you ever feel in a massage, someone's groin on your elbow?

• 52:40Speaker 05

  I have never. And I'm like.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  You're like, where is it?

• 52:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. I feel like that's the place.

• 52:46Dax Shepard?

  What happened?

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Well, you've been for real assaulted.

• 52:49Speaker 05

  I have.

• 52:53Dax Shepard?

  Monica.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Sorry. You've been on one really extreme end. So maybe the dentist felt like, oh, I just wanted you to remember that.

• 53:02Speaker 05

  Thanks, Monica.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. We are sorry that that happened to you with the pool ball.

• 53:07Dax Shepard?

  Well, Elizabeth, this has been delightful. This is a little taste of the beautiful chemistry you'll hear on Beth's Dead if you're not already consuming it.

• 53:15Speaker 01

  That's right. I have a friend who I sent the preview link to. She's in.

• 53:20Dax Shepard?

  You got her.

• 53:20Speaker 05

  The feedback has been so awesome. Hopefully everyone checks it out.

• 53:24Dax Shepard?

  Have you begun yacht shopping yet?

• 53:27Speaker 05

  I might get a second story someday.

• 53:30Dax Shepard?

  A rec room.

• 53:31Speaker 05

  Oh, a rec room.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  The dream.

• 53:33Dax Shepard?

  Stinky. People smoke cigars in rec rooms.

• 53:36Speaker 05

  There are always stories coming out of rec rooms.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  Maybe we could do a whole prompt.

• 53:40Dax Shepard?

  Rec rooms.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Rec room stories.

• 53:42Dax Shepard?

  I feel like that gal that was humping her teddy bear to the movie was in a rec room.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably.

• 53:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 05

  Most first sexual experiences in the Midwest take place in a rec room.

• 53:53Dax Shepard?

  Or a wood paneled basement as well.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  In the South, too.

• 53:56Dax Shepard?

  That's where all the good times go. All right, we could do this all day. We love you.

• 54:00Speaker 05

  Love you, guys. Thank you so much. This was so fun.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 54:03Dax Shepard?

  Bye. What a delight. She should go into podcasting.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  She should have met podcast.

• 54:09Dax Shepard?

  She should go into podcasting for 10 years.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  20.

• 54:11Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  Not 20, but Totally Lame was when I moved. 15 years.

• 54:16Dax Shepard?

  15 years.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Bing.

• 54:18Dax Shepard?

  All right.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  That was fun.

• 54:19Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna go out with a saying that my father said to every child he ever met. Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.

• 54:28Speaker 07

  Do you want to sing a tune or something? We know the theme song.

• 54:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, rhyme dish. On the fly, rhyme dish. Enjoy.

• 54:55Dax Shepard?

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