Adult Happy Meal! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Chubbies: Chubbies is here to keep you comfy and looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code garbage at https://chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Gang, that Back on the Block tour just keeps a- rolling on. Grab your tickets, grab the squad. Come on out, see the boys.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, this May, we got Los Angeles, then we're doing the Comedy Cellar in New York City, little AYG and Friends show, Portland, Maine. Those tickets are going fast. We got two shows in Pittsburgh, uh, then Cleveland, Ohio, Atlantic City, New Jersey. This summer, the boys are going down ashore, and then Comedy Works in Denver. Get those tickets, come to a live show, we love yous.

• 0:23H. Foley?

  Love yous. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:32Speaker 01

  You know it.

• 0:32H. Foley?

  It's that little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out they're grouped to be classy.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:38H. Foley?

  But they're just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toadies and a new addition. She woke me up six in the morning.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:47H. Foley?

  Blasting Shaka Khan.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:50H. Foley?

  Bumping, going old school on me.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 0:53H. Foley?

  You know what I mean?

• 0:53Speaker 01

  I feel ya, dog.

• 0:54H. Foley?

  My colosseum's coming at you from across the table, so we call it a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it. He is my best pal in the whole wide world, and with summer approaching, back to being the king of the boards.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  Woo.

• 1:09H. Foley?

  Big show in Atlantic City coming up down in your store.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Ain't lying, get them pickies, gang.

• 1:14H. Foley?

  Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to ya. As always, thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are climbing the charts.

• 1:25H. Foley?

  We're in the charts, dog.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  We're in the fucking charts, baby. Slowly getting to the top of the- I don't know what- where it starts, the top of the charts.

• 1:32H. Foley?

  We pop back and forth, we're in the top 100 all podcasts.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Woo.

• 1:35H. Foley?

  And we're top 100 in comedy podcasts, huh? Just a couple of small-town boys made good, I don't know what to tell ya.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, take that.

• 1:42H. Foley?

  Hey there, love it.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  The Fat Boys are on top.

• 1:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:48H. Foley?

  Fat Boys used to beatbox.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 1:50H. Foley?

  Do you remember the Fat Boys?

• 1:51Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:52H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:52Speaker 01

  I mean, I do, in theory, yeah, I remember, uh-

• 1:55H. Foley?

  They had their own movie.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:57H. Foley?

  Can't remember what it was called.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Fat boys do something. It wasn't go to the gym, I know that much.

• 2:03H. Foley?

  Hey, hey, hey.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  Gang, the big man said we got a show in Atlantic City. The boys are going down the shore at the Hard Rock Casino and Hotel. Maybe, I don't know, I made up the end of that. I think it's at the Hard Rock.

• 2:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, Hotel and Casino would be called.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  What'd I say?

• 2:19H. Foley?

  Casino and Hotel, I think it'd be Hard Rock.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  They do it different, they flip flop it.

• 2:22H. Foley?

  They do it?

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Old school, Janice.

• 2:24H. Foley?

  We gonna play the tables down there?

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, play the tables.

• 2:27H. Foley?

  I don't know if I've ever been in a Hard Rock down there.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest, I didn't know it existed.

• 2:31H. Foley?

  Really?

• 2:31Speaker 01

  That's why I was like, I'm not sure it is.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  Shout out to them. I might have been in there one time. We used to have a little thing, for some reason, around college age, we'd take a bunch of shrooms and go down to Atlantic City.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  I don't think it, I think it's newer. Find out when the Hard Rock Casino, there's no way that's been around that long, I feel.

• 2:47H. Foley?

  I've been tripping in

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:49H. Foley?

  an odd amount of casinos.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Uh huh, well, I mean, it makes sense, lights, thing.

• 2:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, fucking freak you out, dog.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Man, talk about a guy redlining it. Fucking casinos will give you a panic attack when you're not over.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, overstimulate.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  Hit me.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  What do you got?

• 3:11Speaker 02

  1990.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Formerly the Trump Taj Mahal.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Oh. Now, I used to go down in high school and play the Taj Mahal, had a good poker room.

• 3:20H. Foley?

  How could you said it was formerly the Taj Mahal in 1990? You weren't around there in 1990?

• 3:25Speaker 01

  No, I know, so I'm saying

• 3:26H. Foley?

  You were four years old.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Maybe the building was there in 1990, but the Trump Taj Mahal, the Taj, I was going to the Taj in 2005. 2003, 4 and 5 ish. So it had, they had to take over.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Taj closed in 2014.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Hey, don't.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Became the Hard Rock.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 3:42H. Foley?

  Oh, 2014, there you go.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Um, yes, uh, but anyway, get those tickets, that's a good frickin' time, it's sold out. The boys are going down the shore, go down the shore, I'll bring in a tully nut. I would love to try to get a, see if they'll sell me like a five gallon jug of tully nuts or something. Pass them out.

• 3:58H. Foley?

  Having a green room.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Having a green room, we all fucked up. Uh, yeah, some of us. Um, and then obviously, uh, gang, Netflix is a joke festival in La La Land, get those tickets.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Tickets at the Balesco Theater, May 7th, I believe.

• 4:11H. Foley?

  That's coming up. That's a couple of weeks. Get some tickets. Bring the squad. Come see us.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, the boys are gonna be.

• 4:16H. Foley?

  To look good for the suits on.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is definitely, you gotta go tap dance and show everybody.

• 4:20H. Foley?

  Shake hands, kiss babies.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  We got a special in the cutting room. You're trying to sell that. Sell that.

• 4:30H. Foley?

  That's like Ice T. You know, Ice T walked in, got a record deal. Didn't give him a demo or nothing. Just convince the guy. Give it to me. It's Ice T. You're no Ice T.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  And what are you?

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Huh? Yeah. Buy yourself a second. What'd you say?

• 4:43H. Foley?

  The light.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I, speaking of, I got something I want to start off with.

• 4:51H. Foley?

  I believe you have something for me.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Uh, you know.

• 4:53H. Foley?

  Come across my desk.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  There is a, this is, this, uh, this hits a few points of, uh, things that are near and dear to our heart a little bit.

• 5:04H. Foley?

  My dad?

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Just a picture. Picture of everybody who's died in your life. I have a montage and in memoriam of everybody that Foley's ever lost. Oh, man, talk about, I might even put you in a better mood today. I might cheer you up.

• 5:19H. Foley?

  This coffee tastes very chocolatey. Good.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  That's quick you got in there?

• 5:26Speaker 01

  I was, uh, as you know, diner, we're a big diner guy. New York diners, you like a diner.

• 5:31H. Foley?

  Used to be, yeah.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Right, used to be. What do you mean? What's with the, wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, used to be? You're not a diner guy?

• 5:38H. Foley?

  I'm, you know, I eat better these days.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 5:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Oh my God, we're just starting off with.

• 5:45H. Foley?

  I'm down 85 pounds. What are you talking about?

• 5:47Speaker 01

  First of all, it's 80.

• 5:49H. Foley?

  85 now.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Whatever. I'm, hold on. We're happy. Also, you can eat healthy. You can eat very healthy at a diner.

• 5:55H. Foley?

  What, to get the California plate with the cottage cheese and the Jell-O? No, thanks. It's like I like that.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Good delivery guy. He's got a California plate.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  You love a diner.

• 6:10H. Foley?

  I love a diner. Come on, are we kidding?

• 6:12Speaker 01

  I don't know. I don't know why you're doing this not anymore.

• 6:14H. Foley?

  I like steak fries. I like, I like, I like getting the entree and they give you the soup and the salad and the, and the basket of bread. Yeah, I like diners, man. I'm fucked up.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Actually, that's the most normal thing about you. Um, that's what I'm saying. This goes to show, and diners in New York, diners are, are a wayward rest stop for, uh, and home for dirtbags alike in New York City.

• 6:35H. Foley?

  Bozos and losers. You go in there, you fucking, you, you, you get a cup of coffee, you can sit there with your friends and talk about what you want the future to look like.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Uh huh, which we did a lot of.

• 6:44H. Foley?

  Yes, we did.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  And if you go to a diner, if you frequent a diner enough, the, you, they, the staff knows you. I went into that West Fourth Diner down there.

• 6:50H. Foley?

  You told me that recently.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Same fucking guys. Same guys.

• 6:54H. Foley?

  They had the big fat sausages too.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, they do.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  Like a fat man's knuckles.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Plus they got the breakfast meats.

• 7:01H. Foley?

  Now, they had those overstuffed sausages.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:04H. Foley?

  Which I like.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Do you? You like the tiny little twink ones? Like the big, heavy bike Jones.

• 7:10H. Foley?

  Well, they're, they're more like British sausages.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 7:14H. Foley?

  I could, I saw this thing.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  So?

• 7:19H. Foley?

  Apples and pear, I'm walking down the apples and pears.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 7:22H. Foley?

  That's the stairs.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Okay. Man, this guy is, I know.

• 7:26H. Foley?

  But I like, I like sometimes even with, with a breakfast dish.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  You stink. You know why you do.

• 7:33H. Foley?

  Why?

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Why? You know.

• 7:34H. Foley?

  Nah uh.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  You like, you like being told by you stink. You're a fucking twisted guy. This guy's real twisted.

• 7:41H. Foley?

  Twisted and evil.

• 7:45H. Foley?

  I like sometimes dipping my sausage in mustard, the way the Brits do.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Oh my god, you should write a book sometime.

• 7:51H. Foley?

  Well, you can't do it. Regular breakfast sausage, like those skinny links.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, that'd be crazy.

• 7:55H. Foley?

  You gotta do it with those girthy ones.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Those girthy masters. Uncircumcised Jones. You're a peeing cut.

• 8:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, you're a peeing cut.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Um, so, this is all very of that. I sat down, there's a new, diner's been closing left and right. They're too expensive, they can't, the food, New York City, they're closing. There's been a bit of a revamp of them.

• 8:14H. Foley?

  Whole place is tanking.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Culturally.

• 8:16H. Foley?

  Mandami.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  I, um, I go, there's a new diner opened up in my neck of the woods.

• 8:23H. Foley?

  Yes, that's true. I've heard about this place.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  What?

• 8:26H. Foley?

  You told me.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:27H. Foley?

  You told me.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Okay, alright.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  And I think me and, uh...

• 8:33H. Foley?

  What, me and Diesel up there for something?

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 8:35H. Foley?

  Yeah, we walked by it.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  You stalking me?

• 8:38H. Foley?

  No.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  You're obsessed with me.

• 8:39H. Foley?

  Why the fuck were we up there?

• 8:40Speaker 01

  Drop, picking me up or something, dropped me off probably.

• 8:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, I remember walking down the street with somebody. And I said, hey, we should go here. And then somebody walked by and was like, the food is delicious.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Oh, it had just opened that weekend.

• 8:51H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  And I hadn't been yet.

• 8:52H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, new diner.

• 8:53H. Foley?

  Who was I up there with?

• 8:54Speaker 01

  I think Diesel.

• 8:55H. Foley?

  Huh, interesting. I never take anybody's advice when they say that.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  It's not that interesting, you know four people.

• 9:01H. Foley?

  When somebody says that, oh, the food's delicious, I fuck you. You work there, you need something. Trying to sucker me in there and you fucking...

• 9:07Speaker 01

  It was a new place.

• 9:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  And it was just over that weekend, it's in the neighborhood, I think the local neighborhood people were supporting it.

• 9:13H. Foley?

  That's nice.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  I like that.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Okay, I think that's why he was telling you the food's good.

• 9:18H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm not, I'm not buying it.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  I'm not, that's good for, good for a guy like you maybe. I like mustard on my sausages. I'm no bozo.

• 9:26H. Foley?

  I'm waiting till the fucking, you know, the health inspector gets in there.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, let them get their fucking, let them make their mistakes, it's a soft launch.

• 9:32H. Foley?

  Yes, it's, I, soft opening. Soft opening's bad.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 9:36H. Foley?

  Fryer's not working. Kid don't know what he's doing. That's why like Taffer, you ambush everybody with the soft openings. There's never a hundred people walking in at once.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  That's a stress, that's a Taffer stress test, everybody knows that.

• 9:49H. Foley?

  Well, you know that they're gonna fail.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Gotta turn the heat, yeah, find out where they fail.

• 9:53H. Foley?

  Bunch of mouth breathers walking in, judging.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  It's your, all the folies are there, patty's there.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  Those people are always such...

• 9:59Speaker 01

  Fish, you can't smoke in here.

• 10:00H. Foley?

  They're always such dicks. They walk in like they're the Kennedys, oh, yeah.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  I remember thinking I wouldn't...

• 10:05H. Foley?

  What are you talking about, you rat? If Taffer wasn't picking up the tab, you'd be out in the street.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, I would never wanna be on one of those shows.

• 10:15H. Foley?

  No?

• 10:15Speaker 01

  Even in like the sense of like, I'm hanging out at a place that's hanging on by a thread. Dive bar aside, obviously, but like, you know, also...

• 10:26H. Foley?

  What, you wouldn't wanna be like the mixologist going in undercover?

• 10:28Speaker 01

  You mean Johnny Tips?

• 10:30H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  I remember thinking, that was the first time today, and she's like, this is Johnny Tips, and I cut to him like with a shaker, and I went, His last name's Tips? That's crazy, I said, oh, it's a fucking stage name.

• 10:40H. Foley?

  They were always bartenders that like, sort of like Bennigan's and like, They're all corporate bartenders.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Sure, um...

• 10:46H. Foley?

  Not shot and beer guys like we're used to.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  I know.

• 10:48H. Foley?

  Huh, guys that can point you in the right direction, if you know what I mean. Stay open late.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:54H. Foley?

  Down there at those Shady's Bar. What if lines are always drawn?

• 10:58Speaker 01

  Um, but that aside, I popped in the other day with my wife and my son.

• 11:01H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 11:02Speaker 01

  A little late breakfast for me. I'm doing intermittent fasting.

• 11:05H. Foley?

  Are you?

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:06H. Foley?

  Are you? Okay.

• 11:10H. Foley?

  You weren't doing that with beers down here in Pottstown.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  I didn't have any beers in Pottstown.

• 11:14H. Foley?

  Yeah, right. You had a whole tray of Garage Beers. I seen them in there.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  I didn't, first of all, that's on the rider. Shout out to Garage Beers.

• 11:21H. Foley?

  Shout out to Garage Beer. Also, shout out to Soul Joel's. That place, those awesome.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  Great time.

• 11:25H. Foley?

  Let me tell you this.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Great time.

• 11:26H. Foley?

  Those lemon pepper wings were something else. Oh no, it was garlic Parmesan. I can tell you right now.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Lemon pepper wings? Were you at the King of Diamonds?

• 11:35H. Foley?

  No, Diesel ordered lemon pepper wings. But they had a garlic Parmesan sauce down there. I tell you right now, garlic Parmesan is really taking over the wing market. That's everybody's going for garlic Parmesan. I swear to God.

• 11:51H. Foley?

  They are. That sauce was delicious.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Um, all that aside, I pop in. You know how like, you know diners, like you said, you like to get like the dinner, the entrees.

• 12:03H. Foley?

  I love the entrees.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  They always have a decent spech going on.

• 12:05H. Foley?

  And they treat you better.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:07H. Foley?

  They treat you better. When you get the entree at the, at a diner, they treat you better.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  A gentleman. So I popped in. This was the market at first thing I saw and I said, you know what?

• 12:16H. Foley?

  That's a bum getting waffles.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  As a society, we're gonna be all right. I had never seen this before. Maybe this is a new trend and old trend. I had never seen this marketing in my life.

• 12:24H. Foley?

  What happened?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Really piqued my interest. Hit it.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  The adult Happy Meal. A double patty smash burger, fries and a bottle of beer of your choice available all day, every day, $19.95 out the door. Where can you beat that?

• 12:39H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  I wasn't even in the mood for, I mean, it was about 11 o'clock in the morning. I wasn't in the mood for a beer, a burger, french fry. I didn't get it. That was my family, my family, man. I had to do fucking airplane mode with a pouch of string bean mash. But if it was me, you or someone, I would have fucking, an adult Happy Meal. I'd never seen that.

• 12:59H. Foley?

  I respect it.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Look at that.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:01Speaker 01

  That's their something.

• 13:02H. Foley?

  I thought it was two, it could be two beers as little as, I put one bottle of beer in.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  I, I'd listen, they get you looking though. Get you talking. I'm sold.

• 13:09H. Foley?

  Maybe that's the thing that get you looking.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  I was sold.

• 13:11H. Foley?

  Why is there two beers then? That's what I would say.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Well, let's order it and find out.

• 13:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Also, price point wise?

• 13:18H. Foley?

  Choice of bottled beer.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Choice of bottled beer.

• 13:21H. Foley?

  There you go. Maybe one's domestic, one's imported.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, they got a Bud Light and a Heine, show you their, you know.

• 13:27H. Foley?

  Yeah. That's real nice.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  $19.95 for a double smash, that looks like a double smash cheeseburger. Right?

• 13:35H. Foley?

  Double Patty, smash burger fries and choice of bottled beer.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  That's gonna run you, the burger and fries alone would run you $15.99. Something like that, right?

• 13:44H. Foley?

  You wanna know a good gimmick to throw in with that? They're only like a dollar.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  What?

• 13:49H. Foley?

  You buy like a thousand matchboxes. And you get a, you get a matchbox, you get a Hot Wheels with it.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Oh, like a toy?

• 13:56H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 13:58H. Foley?

  I thought I meant like a matchbook?

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, matchbook? Match potatoes? I don't want the fries, give them match potatoes?

• 14:04H. Foley?

  Nah, people always love when you, especially people our age.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  A toy, some sort of trinket would be nice, maybe.

• 14:11H. Foley?

  Spider ring, something like that.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Maybe something for adults, that this is for adults.

• 14:14H. Foley?

  Like what?

• 14:15Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 14:16H. Foley?

  What do adults use?

• 14:19Speaker 01

  I don't know, not spider rings? I can't go back to work after having a double smash burger fries.

• 14:24H. Foley?

  Hey Lenny, check it out!

• 14:25Speaker 01

  And four beers and a fucking wristful of fucking...

• 14:28H. Foley?

  Well, no, they know you were down there at the joint getting the Happy Meal.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Kippy, what'd you do for lunch today? I'm all fucking sloshed.

• 14:35H. Foley?

  Spider rings all over your...

• 14:36Speaker 01

  I'm tapping, I'm typing with fucking eight spider rings on. Nothing, boss?

• 14:44H. Foley?

  Breath smells like garlic parmesan.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Uh huh, the adult Happy Meal, that's fucking home. I love that. And maybe, hit me up if this is a new thing, or if this has been, if other places are doing it. I never saw that.

• 14:56H. Foley?

  I've, somewhere in the back of my subconscious, I feel like I've seen a little bit of this, but...

• 15:00Speaker 01

  I mean, it makes sense.

• 15:01H. Foley?

  But that's, that, first of all, that's a deal.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  New York City, that's a deal.

• 15:04H. Foley?

  Give me a favor, Luke, if you don't mind. If you don't mind, do just a little bit of work.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  You're such a dick.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Bug Man back, everybody run! Oh my god, a bug!

• 15:16H. Foley?

  I didn't mean to wake you, not like that.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Somebody get a big piece of tissues, I could squash you.

• 15:20H. Foley?

  Why, 'cause I'm Bug Man?

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, you go and try it. I don't kill bugs.

• 15:26H. Foley?

  I'm talking about people I don't know.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  You know Bug Jenkins?

• 15:29H. Foley?

  Would you give me a price check on a burger?

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, run that.

• 15:34H. Foley?

  Give me, give me, give me a cheeseburger deluxe. New York City diner.

• 15:41H. Foley?

  See what that is.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  I would argue, I mean, a cheeseburger deluxe.

• 15:44H. Foley?

  It's gotta be fifteen.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  But that's one, that's single patty still.

• 15:48H. Foley?

  Single patty, it's double, it's double smish burger.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Double, double patty, probably, listen, they're probably, they're probably skimping on the patties a little bit.

• 15:55H. Foley?

  Maybe.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  You know, and when you get two of them.

• 15:56H. Foley?

  Yeah, whatever.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  Two slices of cheese, it looks like, at least according to the art, to the artist's rendering.

• 16:02H. Foley?

  Yeah. Why don't you get hit with a, with, with an LTO?

• 16:06Speaker 01

  I don't think they do that on a, on a smash, do they? I think smash is just traditionally the cheese and the meat and then some do the, some do the.

• 16:11H. Foley?

  I like an LTO slaw and a pickle.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Listen, I'm sure they would accommodate.

• 16:16H. Foley?

  What do you got, Luke?

• 16:18Speaker 02

  Uh, with fries at that twenty-four hour diner we all went to, a few, like, six months ago.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  It used to be Tavoli?

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. That one that they took over.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Where? Oh, like Twenty-third or something?

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I think on, yeah, Twenty-fourth, maybe?

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was the old Tavoli.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's gonna be fifteen bucks with french fries.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Wow. Fifteen, so you're at fif-

• 16:39Speaker 02

  For a single smash burger.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Single smash burger. Let's go, I want a double patty, that's four bucks right there.

• 16:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  You're nineteen ninety-nine without the beer.

• 16:48H. Foley?

  Shout out to this joint.

• 16:49Speaker 02

  That's gonna run you twenty-five.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Twenty-five bucks?

• 16:51H. Foley?

  Available every day.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  All day, you walk in, I'll do the adult Happy Meal. Me, that's a good time.

• 16:56H. Foley?

  A lot of men, a lot of guys, not me.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:58H. Foley?

  Like, men, men, they like, they like a burger and a beer.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, when I was ever, anytime we were, I was working construction, it was like, I could never do, like, the beer at lunch, I was never that guy.

• 17:09H. Foley?

  Yeah, you'd be asleep in the truck.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  Ah, I'm the worst. The second I eat, it's, I've gotten a little better as I've gotten older, but the second I have, like, even a fucking, a cheesesteak egg roll, I'm like, ah, sleepy McSleepson.

• 17:21H. Foley?

  I remember working at Martell's back in the day, like, ironworkers would come in there, they'd be, they'd, they'd have, like, a burger, beer, a couple, like, just a couple beers.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:30H. Foley?

  Go back to work.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:32H. Foley?

  I would be fucking out.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I'm not built that way.

• 17:34H. Foley?

  Seepy.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  Night-night time.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Tired guy.

• 17:37H. Foley?

  Dude drinking Guinness at lunch. Jesus, that's like a, that's like a stack of pancakes.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  I would do it, when I was working in an office, I never liked going out to lunch, but there was a couple other secretaries I hung out. Couple other broads.

• 17:50H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 17:51Speaker 01

  They would take me out for my birthday and stuff like that.

• 17:53H. Foley?

  That's cute.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Uh, and they would all, we'd all get drink. And I'm like, the last thing I want to do is fucking sc- scald two Budweisers.

• 18:00H. Foley?

  You'd get drinks?

• 18:01Speaker 01

  I would do one, cause they would.

• 18:02H. Foley?

  You and, they, they weren't drinking beer either.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Nah, they do like margaritas and shit. Yeah, something like that.

• 18:07H. Foley?

  Then they go back to the work all fired up.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Uh huh, and then I'm like, dude, I want, I'm fucking sleepy as shit.

• 18:12H. Foley?

  They're not.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  Nah. Probably go home and throw one at a husband, you know what I mean?

• 18:16H. Foley?

  Sure. That's alright. You ever drink at your desk? Like a little nip?

• 18:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:21H. Foley?

  No?

• 18:22Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm not like a mixed business and pleasure guy. If I'm drinking, I'm clearing his docket and I'm drinking. You know what I mean? I'm not like, I'm not, I don't like drinking and then like going and doing stuff. I'm drinking, if I'm drinking.

• 18:35H. Foley?

  I was about to say, I've never been at work drunk, but I know you know that's a lie.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Check please?

• 18:41H. Foley?

  I say, I'm waiting tables, you always, you know.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 18:45H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? Try the beer.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:47H. Foley?

  Let me get a taste of this. Skull that.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Hit a couple whippets.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, listen, all that's either here nor there, but check out an adult Happy Meal in your, in your area. And if you, maybe if you run a small establishment, or you work in a small establishment, implement the adult Happy Meal.

• 19:03H. Foley?

  If it's not big, it's gonna be big this summer.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Could be big this summer.

• 19:06H. Foley?

  Just like that Aloe Langley song. That's big.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  You're really pushing that. It is.

• 19:12H. Foley?

  You know about this?

• 19:12Speaker 01

  You've asked me about it multiple times. I think I just like have.

• 19:15H. Foley?

  Chose in Texas?

• 19:16Speaker 01

  Solid and passing, yeah.

• 19:17H. Foley?

  That's a goddamn hit right there.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:19H. Foley?

  Beautiful too, but that's.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Beautiful, beautiful girl. Beautiful woman. What is it? Beautiful?

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Beautiful girls.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Beautiful girl. A beautiful girl.

• 19:26H. Foley?

  It's nothing to do with it. He's a very talented artist.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  You brought it up, not me.

• 19:29H. Foley?

  I like this song, it's a good song.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  A beautiful girl.

• 19:33H. Foley?

  Can't be talking about Shopify.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Shopify.

• 19:36H. Foley?

  I'm trying to think here. I know a couple of people that use Shopify.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 19:42H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, we use Shopify.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Uh, duh.

• 19:45H. Foley?

  If you've ever bought a t-shirt.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:47H. Foley?

  Or a hat.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Or a deck of cards.

• 19:49H. Foley?

  Or a deck of cards, that's Shopify. Streamlines everything, makes everything easy, and I know we got a lot of hustlers out there. A lot of guys, brick and mortar stores, do yourself a favor. I think it's kinda coming to the point now. Shopify's taking over.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  You buddy.

• 20:03H. Foley?

  So.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  They ain't getting smaller.

• 20:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  And here's the thing. Uh, we've handled the merch. Uh, if you've been to our website, it's Shopify website, the store, all powered by Shopify. Bought something on the road, powered by Shopify.

• 20:14H. Foley?

  Shopify.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Uh, we, we. Before Shopify, we handled it all of ourselves. Dude, I, I, there was things flying out of the printer. I got stickers all over my eyes.

• 20:23H. Foley?

  This guy counting change over here.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  I'm taking things to the ma- it was a, it was a mess.

• 20:27H. Foley?

  Shopify.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Shopify handles it all, streamlines it. Shopify is your commerce expert with the world-class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping, to process returns and beyond. It's like having a marketing team behind you. Easy to create email and social media campaigns. Wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling, Shopify can get in front of them and help you convert, baby.

• 20:50H. Foley?

  Scrolling or strolling, that's correct.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  It's time to turn those what ifs into Shopify money today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com/garbage. Go to Shopify.com/garbage. One more time, get a pen, get a pencil. Shopify.com/garbage.

• 21:05H. Foley?

  Do it. Kevi, what about Chubbies?

• 21:08Speaker 01

  Chubbies, Chubbies, Chubbies, Chubbies.

• 21:09H. Foley?

  What about Chubbies? Just taking over the summer.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  You love to see it.

• 21:13H. Foley?

  Chubbies is big in the summer. They're big all year round.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:17H. Foley?

  But Chubbies in the summer, get a nice bathing suit.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Woo.

• 21:21H. Foley?

  I got one that they gave me, I think last year.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  The red Joan.

• 21:25H. Foley?

  That didn't fit.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:27H. Foley?

  And now I'm into it.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  I know it.

• 21:28H. Foley?

  And I'm gonna break this thing out and I'm gonna be strutting my skinny little ass all around that pool down here at Club Foley. So if you wanna get a peek.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 21:38H. Foley?

  Come see it.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  He's letting the thighs breathe and that's what Chubby does, baby. Whether you're playing around the golf with the boys, hitting up.

• 21:45H. Foley?

  He's got everything.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Maybe a couple of day beers popping around. You're wet, you're doing outside, they got you covered for all the good vibes that warm weather brings. Chubby has you covered. They got their classic line Swim Collection. Has your new favorite trunk for those sunny days. Soft, dangerously flexible, incredibly quick drying swim trunk. This is the first time, first time I saw Chubbies in person, this is years ago. First time I saw Chubbies in person, my cousin, Michael, had them on. He got out of the ocean. I said, "You, what the heck is even this? I gotta get me a pair of them." Came out looking cool, cool design, looks, dries, walking around.

• 22:19H. Foley?

  What were you wearing, sweatpants?

• 22:20Speaker 01

  Oh, I was in-

• 22:21H. Foley?

  Like a bozo?

• 22:22Speaker 01

  I was in a pair of dungarees.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Whether you're getting dressed for your work day, a workout, or a weekend getaway, Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our viewers 20% off your order with the code GARBAGE at chubbyshorts.com. That's code GARBAGE at chubbyshorts.com. Support the show and tell them the police sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubbies.

• 22:42H. Foley?

  Chubbies.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Uh, gang, we got a Goshdron Family episode on our hands. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, you'll get your garbage question read on the air. And we got one, two, three humdingers right here.

• 22:53H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  This is a good one. This is from a guy who's gotten a handful of questions read, because I remember the name. This is from Bannister Lannister. $10 homie here. Did you have to drive to your own wedding? That's a good one. That's a really good one. I've never thought about that. Drive into the wedding means you're probably driving back. Right?

• 23:17H. Foley?

  Yelling at the wife?

• 23:18Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 23:18H. Foley?

  The dress is hanging out the passenger door?

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a tough one, I feel.

• 23:24H. Foley?

  Drive into the wedding. As the guy, as the groom, yeah, it's tough. That's a small-town wedding.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, you would have to assume. I took an Uber.

• 23:36H. Foley?

  That's two young kids.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  To mine.

• 23:38H. Foley?

  You get that, that's City Hall.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Well, I'm just sharing.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  How much was transportation to yours?

• 23:49H. Foley?

  It was expensive.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  I'm well aware.

• 23:51H. Foley?

  Nice. You were on that bus drinking beers?

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Plus, I had to take a plane to yours. What the fuck you talking about?

• 23:57H. Foley?

  Hey, thanks for coming.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Anywho, um, that's a tough one. I get, unless it's like, that's very like, to me, if that, like, that's a little, you know, taking it off, that, that feels like a to-do, like you're running errands.

• 24:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  You get in the car, we're gonna go get married, we're gonna go home.

• 24:15H. Foley?

  It's very 80s to me. I picture like, one of my cousins doing that.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:18H. Foley?

  They got their, they got like, half the tux on, the shirt's open, they stop by the church.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  It's like out of a movie, kind of.

• 24:24H. Foley?

  Father Kalu Trump, get married today. Well, get over there, you jerk.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  I gotta go stop and see about someone real quick, yeah.

• 24:31H. Foley?

  Why wouldn't he be marrying them? Little plot hole right there.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Maybe she's Jewish and they're going to a synagogue.

• 24:36H. Foley?

  Maybe. Or another, another parish, let's say.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  God forbid he's unpleasant himself.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Uh, that's really going to two, cuz I, the, this is the one time that someone kinda blew my mind. I always thought limos were wildly fancy. And like, it's what rich people did. And maybe in the eighties, like the businessmen. But then, someone schooled me on it during the show at some point, that they were like, "It's real, they're actually very trashy."

• 25:09H. Foley?

  Trashy.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  And it, like, I guess that happened in like, the nineties to two thousands, where it's like, "It's only kids going to prom."

• 25:15H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Who throw up in them.

• 25:16H. Foley?

  It's a pain in the ass to get in there, first of all.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 25:19H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? You're down there, and SUV's nice. That's, I think when the SUV started popping off, they really killed them.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, Sprinters too got pretty, you know, or like, the party bus a little bit.

• 25:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, the party bus, and not to mention, they kinda did it to themselves with the fucking, with the Hummer limo. That was the end of it.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Sure, that was a little gaudy.

• 25:40H. Foley?

  Phew.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  But that was at the height, that was like, when Entourage was cooking, rap was big, that's like, "A fucking Hummer limo."

• 25:46H. Foley?

  That's chicks throwing up and like dudes, like, beating up like waiters and stuff like that.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just...

• 25:52H. Foley?

  "Oh, fuck you, what?"

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Well, it was also, they'd be kid, they're like, relatively affordable. It's not like, in my head, they were like a million dollars, but if you got twenty people, and you're like, "Oh, we're all going somewhere," it's like, thirty, forty bucks a head for the night.

• 26:06H. Foley?

  Now, that being said, if I was like a billionaire or something like that, I'd only exclusively roll in a limo.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Shh, why's that?

• 26:13H. Foley?

  I don't know, just seems cool.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's gotta be, I mean...

• 26:16H. Foley?

  I know Stern rolls like that, all limo.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Really?

• 26:19H. Foley?

  I think so.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  That's what I heard.

• 26:23H. Foley?

  That Ronnie limo driver. But yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 26:27H. Foley?

  With some dude with some nickel on him. That's really all I want.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  You just want a guy with a gun around you?

• 26:32H. Foley?

  I, that'd be cool, to have like, a handler. Like, like a dude like that, that takes care, you know what I mean?

• 26:37Speaker 01

  And someone who works closely with you? You can't be handled.

• 26:40H. Foley?

  What do you mean? If you had a gun?

• 26:42Speaker 01

  That's why he's got a gun. "Fucking Foley, do it, man!"

• 26:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  "Take the trash out."

• 26:47H. Foley?

  Listen, you ain't got a piece. You got a gun to my head, one, I'm aroused, two...

• 26:51Speaker 01

  "I can't get nothing done, I'm hard all day."

• 26:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, that'd be cool.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  Uh, that's funny.

• 26:56H. Foley?

  To get to, to get to that point. Just have like, a dude like that.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  A dude with a gun?

• 27:00H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:01H. Foley?

  That like, you know, takes care of shit.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 27:03H. Foley?

  We know a few people that have that.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:05H. Foley?

  Not know them personally, but we've seen them.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  They've seen Man on Fire before. Are they coming out with a TV show with that? Is that true?

• 27:14H. Foley?

  I heard that.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  I saw Man on Fire with like a younger Denzel looking guy.

• 27:18H. Foley?

  And they're redoing Cape Fear. Why? I don't get it. Nothing against Javier Bortam, he's a goddamn genius, but what are you doing, man? What are you doing?

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 27:28H. Foley?

  Somebody write something. Hit me up! I got plenty of ideas.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this one's from MoneyMark97. $10 homie for three or four years now genuinely never had one red crying emoji, might apologize. Well, you came with a humdinger. Ever rode a bike barefoot? Something don't feel right about that.

• 27:49H. Foley?

  Talk about.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  It's, one, it's summertime, you're probably, I was always like wet from like a pool too or something, or like...

• 27:57H. Foley?

  You ever scraped the top of your feet? Get them, get that big toe knuckle?

• 28:03Speaker 01

  You had to like push hard, but you had to push lightly because like the, the, the, not the spokes, like the traction in the pedals? You had upset a metal, metal, uh, pedals too. Remember Danny had...

• 28:14H. Foley?

  Felt like a geisha.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Metal pedals, yeah, it was brutal.

• 28:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  Felt like I was walking on hot coals.

• 28:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, man, that's, that's, that's asking for a fucking jammed up toe.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  That's jammed up, and as well as, I remember one time I saw a guy riding a bike with another bike, and I was like, that guy is doing something wrong.

• 28:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  He's either stole that bike...

• 28:35H. Foley?

  It's like a horse thief.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Riding two horses out of town in the middle of the night.

• 28:39H. Foley?

  Oh man, I always seen that, and that was always, you killed that guy who was on that horse. You know?

• 28:45Speaker 01

  Where'd you get that bike guy? They're not just riding around, that ain't free range bike. That's somebody's fucking bike.

• 28:51H. Foley?

  Wild bicycles! Yeah.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  That's a really good one.

• 28:55H. Foley?

  Home run, bro.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see, this is from Avis. Hey fellas, long time $10 investor here. Is it garbage to wear a neck brace for a couple days in hopes it helps with your neck pain? I mean, if you're self prescribing a neck brace.

• 29:08H. Foley?

  I respect it.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  What is the main part? Is it to not move it, or does it stretch it out?

• 29:15H. Foley?

  I don't know. They have the new ones I don't like. They're very plastic. I like this, the big donut.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  The foam joint. The plastic ones look like your head's about to fall off. Foam, foam looks like a guy strung out.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, those, those new ones, you're two seconds away from having those things in your head.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, with the erector set, the halo. The external fixator.

• 29:35H. Foley?

  Man.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  Just really limits head movement.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Okay. I remember my math teacher in 7th grade had one.

• 29:42H. Foley?

  The halo?

• 29:43Speaker 01

  No, a neck brace.

• 29:44H. Foley?

  Why? What happened?

• 29:45Speaker 01

  I don't know, dude, but I did not respect them.

• 29:47H. Foley?

  Sold money to the wrong people.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  First day of school, dude, he's like, aye, I'm Mr. So-and-so. I'm like, buddy, get a glove, get in the game. And then after like the second week he took, he was a big fat guy.

• 29:59H. Foley?

  Oh, huh.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  After the second week, he took it off and I was so nervous his head was gonna fall off, dude. He was like turning.

• 30:06H. Foley?

  A calm, collected kid, huh?

• 30:07Speaker 01

  I'm like, no one go near him. Ah, yeah, it's a bad look.

• 30:10H. Foley?

  He never explained it to you? Like, in a car accident or something like that?

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 30:15H. Foley?

  Cause I'll tell you this.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Probably like a vert, you know, vertebrae type thing or whatever it fixes, I don't know.

• 30:19H. Foley?

  My mom, my family, we were very big on, like, we're somebody that would just throw in a neck brace without seeing the doctor. Because we had a lot of like medical equipment around. You know what I mean? Like crutches, neck braces, wheelchairs, things like that. Ankle, ankle.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Monitors. I saw, dude, I saw a guy wearing an ankle monitor the other day, had it hidden pretty good.

• 30:41H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 30:42Speaker 01

  And I was just thinking, somebody was like mouthing off a little bit. Where the fuck was I?

• 30:46H. Foley?

  Why wouldn't you wear it open? So people know you don't have to fuck with you.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  He was a janitor somewhere. He was pushing, um, I fuck, I'm not gonna remember where I was, and he was pushing a thing around. And somebody's, and I gave him, it was just like, and I was just like, ooh, that seemed.

• 31:04H. Foley?

  That ain't the guy.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  And then I spotted the monitor. And then he was walking around screaming at someone on his phone. And I was like, that guy's, that guy's got fucking pride. That guy's living a life.

• 31:13H. Foley?

  You don't fuck with older dudes like that.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  He's younger.

• 31:16H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:17H. Foley?

  Even more so. Interesting.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  I agree. Where the fuck, well, I'm not gonna be able to remember.

• 31:22H. Foley?

  What, do you see, where you see a janitor?

• 31:24Speaker 01

  I go to the, I went, dude, I found a new mall.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  You went to the mall again?

• 31:26Speaker 01

  I found, I got a new fancy mall. Beautiful. Took the baby to fucking Cheesecake Factory for the first time. Hell, you done.

• 31:34H. Foley?

  What'd he get?

• 31:35Speaker 01

  Chicken parm sandwich.

• 31:36H. Foley?

  Did he?

• 31:37Speaker 01

  And french fries.

• 31:37H. Foley?

  Nah, did you give him anything?

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Uh, no, he eats his own. I had a french fry, probably of mine.

• 31:42H. Foley?

  Gave him a french fry?

• 31:42Speaker 01

  They were a little too salty.

• 31:44H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:44H. Foley?

  How do you like it?

• 31:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's, I think it's, they were a little too... I mean, that's like a fucking, he's got a fresh, clean palate, dude. He's used to eating like fucking pureed root vegetables.

• 31:54H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Boom!

• 31:55H. Foley?

  You give him a little piece of cheesecake?

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Cheesecake? No. I think you, we had lunch, I didn't get cheesecake.

• 32:01H. Foley?

  Cheesecake Factory.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  Cheesecake Factory, yeah, no.

• 32:04H. Foley?

  Is he, is he old enough to have ice cream yet?

• 32:06Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, he's had like a little bit.

• 32:07H. Foley?

  Has he?

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 32:09H. Foley?

  Aw.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  I wasn't there, I was on the road, missed that.

• 32:12H. Foley?

  Ouch.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Fucking absentee father.

• 32:15H. Foley?

  What flavor was it?

• 32:16Speaker 01

  I don't know, I wasn't there.

• 32:19H. Foley?

  Just wanted to rub it in. Loser.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  I missed that.

• 32:23H. Foley?

  I was, it was butter brickle. Rocky road. Nah, it wasn't rocky road, I'm kidding, I was with you.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  I know.

• 32:30H. Foley?

  Dummy. Um, we had all that stuff. So if some, if something happened, just get that thing and put it on and you'll be alright.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, we were, I mean, also to my mom, I have it now, uh...

• 32:43H. Foley?

  We had a lot of those toilets too, for some reason. We had like one or two of those toilets.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  That you would like sit on, like on a walker?

• 32:48H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 32:49H. Foley?

  Like the, like, you know.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Is that to poop over? That's so you don't have to spend all the way down? Do you shit in that thing? Probably both.

• 32:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, no, you pooping that.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 32:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  Like you're like, it's like, is that so you don't have to go all the way down?

• 33:00H. Foley?

  No, it's, no, it's, I think it's because you don't have to walk to the bathroom. Put it right next to the bed, you get out, do your business into a bucket or whatever it is and then... I don't know.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  That's what I was doing with it. Um, wow. Yeah, my mom was always, every, there's a lot of, not doctors, but a lot of medical professionals in my fam- a lot of nurses, he met, you know, fucking, the, working in the lab, all that kind of stuff.

• 33:26H. Foley?

  People working in lab, I'm taking medical advice from a dental hygienist.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  That's different.

• 33:31H. Foley?

  I know, bad.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Um...

• 33:33H. Foley?

  Dentist giving you medical advice, I think you'll be alright if you just whatever. Dude's looking at my jock itch when I was a kid, I told you that. I can't remember who the guy was, my mom showed-

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Worked at Pet Boys, gonna get you up on a lift, take a look at that thing.

• 33:46H. Foley?

  My mom showed my jock itch to some guy.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know what you want me to do with that info, bud.

• 33:51H. Foley?

  I've told you that before, right?

• 33:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:53H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 33:55H. Foley?

  I had it bad as a kid. Think I was like a fucking...

• 33:58Speaker 01

  You get passed around like a loose joint. You were the amount of people that saw that schlongs on you. No wonder why you're fucked up.

• 34:07H. Foley?

  I had jackets so bad when I was a kid.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Hey, all the guys touching it will fucking rough it up like you did start chafing a little bit.

• 34:14H. Foley?

  Six.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  So many hands on it.

• 34:16H. Foley?

  Six like a gonorrhea?

• 34:20Speaker 01

  They weren't that fucking cleansed, they weren't that clean in the eighties. Going port to port. Um...

• 34:30Speaker 01

  No, I, uh, my mom at least knew the series of events and would go like, "Do this." You know what I mean? Like, there wouldn't be like, it'd be like, "You have to go to the ER."

• 34:40H. Foley?

  No.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were a big E, we were a big, how to get the...

• 34:45H. Foley?

  Clean the wound, hit it with a butterfly. You ever hit it with a butterfly?

• 34:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 34:48H. Foley?

  Oh, Patty was big on butterflies.

• 34:53H. Foley?

  Love a butterfly. Keep that scar down. Little vitamin E.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Vitamin E, we were a big vitamin E fam. Hit him with the vitamin E.

• 35:02H. Foley?

  I love the way vitamin E smells.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 35:04H. Foley?

  Cocoa butter too, in a stick. You ever got cocoa butter in a stick? We had one for twenty...

• 35:08Speaker 01

  We were not a cocoa butter...

• 35:10H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 35:10Speaker 01

  A pale Irish Catholic family, we were not into cocoa butter, no.

• 35:14H. Foley?

  Ah, we were into it. Smelled good too.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  We were big into, uh...

• 35:18H. Foley?

  Take a lick.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Horse hoof cream at one point. Did I ever tell you that? That stuff was getting passed around. No, it was for like, udder. It was for like, cow's udder.

• 35:26H. Foley?

  Oh, I know what you're talking about. Everybody was using it. No, that's, that was just marketing.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  There might be two different things. No, there was, there was hoof cream.

• 35:34H. Foley?

  It was called like, Uterless or something like, Fabulous Udder. It was hot for a while.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  I remember getting stuff that was in... Oh, I'm not gonna, this is, put it this way, the stuff we got was in Tupperware. It was, it was from like, an industrial sized...

• 35:49H. Foley?

  Ugh.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  Container.

• 35:50H. Foley?

  Got it from a farm?

• 35:51Speaker 01

  And someone, like, my grandma would, friend had it and would like, give them. I remember it was a, it was a Tupperware with a green lid. Never seen Tupperware with a green lid. And it had the little tab on it that you pressed and it popped open.

• 36:01H. Foley?

  Woo.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Never seen that.

• 36:02H. Foley?

  That's expensive stuff.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, whoever, whoever's fucking peddling this hoof cream is making a pretty penny to be giving this stuff away.

• 36:09H. Foley?

  Cause she ain't, she ain't getting this Tupperware back, take that.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  I'm taking my lunch to school in this joint. I'm showing this thing off in the parking lot.

• 36:16H. Foley?

  Smells like hoof cream?

• 36:18Speaker 01

  Peanut butter and wolf cream sandwich.

• 36:21H. Foley?

  Um, we were into pretty hands and feet for a while. You ever use that shit? It was an exfoliant. For dry skin on your elbows and your knees. Woo, that was a big thing at the Foley household. Had to have, got to have good elbows back then. Mine are bad now. I don't know why, my dad was always like, "Grown them elbows."

• 36:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:38H. Foley?

  We used to use pretty hands and feet. Rubbed right off. Skin. Great.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  I don't know why, yeah.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  Not gonna give me a picture, huh?

• 36:45Speaker 02

  Did you ever use Nair or anything?

• 36:47H. Foley?

  No.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  Did you ever use Apple Stop and, Epi Stop and Spray?

• 36:52H. Foley?

  Where do you see me using that?

• 36:53Speaker 02

  Just like to go smooth, like skin, just hairless.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  But he's a hairless kinda guy.

• 36:57H. Foley?

  He's a freak?

• 36:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:58H. Foley?

  No. I would use it on my, on my Jimmy John if, if, if.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Like the burn?

• 37:03H. Foley?

  Wasn't bad for, you know, your testicles.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 37:07H. Foley?

  I don't know, shit's gotta be.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  Can't be good for it. It's no wolf cream, I don't have.

• 37:11H. Foley?

  My aunt used Nair back in the day. She would leave it on and come downstairs and like sit and watch TV while I was sitting.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  With her mustache on?

• 37:18H. Foley?

  Oh, fucking brutal. Brutal.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  There was this dude that.

• 37:23H. Foley?

  Worked though.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  Through the nineties, they ran this commercial for Epi Stop and Spray. Do you remember that? Or Apple? Apple or Epi Stop and Spray. It was like a sunscreen spray bottle and you'd spray it on and you'd wipe your hair right off. And I remember being like, this shit is either, I don't know, this is like, who made this? The DuPonts? This is crazy. I remember being like, there's no, see if you can get that commercial. It's, dude, it wipes off. Insane. They just take a clean rag and just wipe a guy's leg hair straight off. It's, it's nuts.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  F, Apple Stop and Spray.

• 38:02H. Foley?

  Are we allowed to show this?

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, we can show it.

• 38:18H. Foley?

  Yeah, right.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Look.

• 38:20H. Foley?

  Fucking napalm. Get the fuck out.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Fucking dude, it just deletes that guy's leg hair. How insane is that?

• 38:26H. Foley?

  It's a good thing they have the auto, cause you hear the guy.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  Run that again. That is insane.

• 38:32H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  Just dissipates like he's cleaning a car. That's nuts.

• 38:38H. Foley?

  That wasn't worth the 50 bucks and the sandwich. That guy got paid for that ad.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  That guy's still got skin damage from that.

• 38:45H. Foley?

  You know, he's not getting residuals on that. He even shows face.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  Silky, smooth skin.

• 38:50H. Foley?

  Yeah, right.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  How nuts is that?

• 38:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, Brazilian is what you gotta do.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Laser.

• 38:56H. Foley?

  Nah, the laser comes back. It did when I was banging. I worked in the laser hair removal industry. For four years. I did. I told you that.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Listen, I'm not saying you didn't.

• 39:07H. Foley?

  I did.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  I'm not saying you didn't.

• 39:09H. Foley?

  We used Candela lasers. Check it. It's gold, Jerry. Yeah, Candela. We used Candela laser hair removals and Varico's vein removals. And I was the driver. I would drive the technician and the machine to a, uh, plastic surgeon's office. They would set up shop there for the day. I'd go out to the truck and have like a $40 lunch. I called, you know, told you that, bro. Listen to Stern, sleep. It was awesome. Put on like 70 pounds.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, that's a, that is a, that is a life period for you. When you, when you get all comfy, you get a couple of bucks in your pocket, you get all comfy cozy in something. You really blow the fucking doors off the fucking thing, don't you, guy?

• 39:51H. Foley?

  You bulk up. Hey, Russell Crowe does it all the time.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, he start, he start bringing home Academy Awards and you do whatever the fuck you want.

• 39:58H. Foley?

  He's never won an Academy Award.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Any Australian ones he has.

• 40:01H. Foley?

  Has he?

• 40:02Speaker 01

  I don't even know.

• 40:03H. Foley?

  The Askers?

• 40:05H. Foley?

  The Melvins? He won two Melvins there, mate.

• 40:08Speaker 02

  He's got an Academy Award.

• 40:09H. Foley?

  He does.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  Gladiator.

• 40:11H. Foley?

  He won it. Well, he even went Best Actor.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Best Actor.

• 40:14H. Foley?

  He won Best Actor for that?

• 40:16Speaker 01

  What?

• 40:16H. Foley?

  I'm not saying he shouldn't.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is crazy. This is crazy.

• 40:19H. Foley?

  Hold on, stop, stop, stop.

• 40:21Speaker 01

  He almost did the show one time. Didn't they ask about him?

• 40:23H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  His people did.

• 40:26H. Foley?

  I didn't say he did the show once.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  They asked us to stop sending letters.

• 40:29H. Foley?

  First of all, I'm not saying that.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  You're not not saying it.

• 40:32H. Foley?

  No, I'm not dickhead. All right, Kevin is a known dickhead, we're all aware of that. And uses apple soul.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Apple stop.

• 40:40H. Foley?

  On his butthole.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  That's where my fucking hairline went. I got in a tangle with that when I was nine years old.

• 40:46H. Foley?

  Messing around with that shit in the bathroom?

• 40:48Speaker 01

  Fuck!

• 40:48H. Foley?

  Should've been jerking off like a normal kid. They did try to... Anyway. First of all, he deserved the Academy Award for that. I'm not surprised at all, I just didn't know.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  You seem surprised, I'm saying.

• 40:59H. Foley?

  I just didn't know!

• 41:00Speaker 01

  What would you recall, if that's not surprise, what's that reaction, what is that emotion?

• 41:04H. Foley?

  I was surprised that, I was...

• 41:06Speaker 01

  So you're surprised?

• 41:07H. Foley?

  I was surprised that I didn't know that he got it.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  Also, your gut reaction was no.

• 41:12H. Foley?

  What?

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Cause Kippee said if you win an Academy Award...

• 41:16H. Foley?

  I don't...

• 41:18Speaker 01

  I'm just saying.

• 41:20H. Foley?

  I mean, the insider, I'd give it to him for.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Gladiator cleaned up that year.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  Yeah Gladiator, Gladiator's one of the greatest films ever made.

• 41:28H. Foley?

  I know it is!

• 41:29Speaker 01

  You knew Russell Crowe? I did not say I knew him, I said he touched me in the...

• 41:32H. Foley?

  I'm not saying, listen, I wanna get that kinda reputation. I love Russell Crowe. And Gladiator, don't get me wrong.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Got 12 Academy Awards that year.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Is that right? Fucking bozo.

• 41:42H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  You bozo.

• 41:44H. Foley?

  Best Picture?

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, Best Picture, huh? It's alright. What else was up against?

• 41:49Speaker 02

  Uh, let me see.

• 41:52H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Set it up.

• 41:55H. Foley?

  No. I was in that.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was the joke. Okay.

• 41:59H. Foley?

  I was one of, uh, what's his name's first, first big films.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Russell Crowe?

• 42:04H. Foley?

  No, what's the kid's name?

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 42:06H. Foley?

  Glenn Powell.

• 42:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:07H. Foley?

  Hey, big movie star now.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Big movie star. Uh-huh.

• 42:09H. Foley?

  So...

• 42:10Speaker 01

  And you have gone on to...

• 42:13Speaker 01

  Bulk up. You found another bulk in season part three. You're in, you're in reruns.

• 42:21H. Foley?

  What do you got, Lucas?

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Uh, we got Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Aaron Brockovich.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  Ooh!

• 42:27H. Foley?

  Come on!

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Traffic.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  What?

• 42:31Speaker 02

  That was Best Picture movies. You have, uh, Best Actor Javier Bardem, uh, Before Night Falls, Cast Away.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  What?

• 42:40H. Foley?

  Cast Away?

• 42:41Speaker 01

  He took out Cast Away?

• 42:43H. Foley?

  Damn!

• 42:43Speaker 01

  This is when Hollywood was good.

• 42:45H. Foley?

  That's crazy!

• 42:46Speaker 01

  Imagine those two movies going up against each other? You don't even get one of those every five years now.

• 42:51H. Foley?

  Traffic, Cast Away, Gladiator, Aaron Brockovich?

• 42:54Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 42:54H. Foley?

  In the same year?

• 42:56Speaker 01

  What was it, yeah?

• 42:57Speaker 02

  You also had Almost Famous.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  What?

• 43:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:01H. Foley?

  Man.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Billy Elliot.

• 43:05H. Foley?

  People are running out to see J. Kelly.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  Oh, brother, where is Al?

• 43:08H. Foley?

  You break. No, get the fuck out of here. They were not all the same year. That's insane, man.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  And you doubted the crow. You doubted the crow.

• 43:20H. Foley?

  I didn't mean to doubt you.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  It's okay. I'll talk to him. Maybe I can smooth things over for you. Get a role for you in his next project.

• 43:26H. Foley?

  He likes to put on a couple of pounds in between projects.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  Sure. He's earned it. That's all I was saying.

• 43:31H. Foley?

  Yeah. I haven't. I can't have a sandwich.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  Listen, your problem is not a sandwich. Okay?

• 43:42H. Foley?

  Kevin, it's like about Chime.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Chime!

• 43:44H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 43:47H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 43:49H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish. I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after you.

• 44:16H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it. Oh, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that. They got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that. I know I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes.

• 44:58H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Ah, alright, let's see here. This one's from Joey the Lips. A great name.

• 45:47H. Foley?

  It's pretty good.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  "Has anyone you know ever renewed their vows?" Damn dude, that's a home run. I always thought someone cheated on someone when that happened. That's the only time, I go, "What the hell are you redoing this for?"

• 45:59H. Foley?

  That's the trashiest shit I've ever heard in my life. I've only ever known the dirtbag-est of dirtbag-est to do that.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  I don't know what you'd have to do in my family to be like, "We're renewing our vows, we want you." That was the only shit you saw in like sitcoms or something. It was like a bad sitcom plot. I ain't never seen that in real life.

• 46:15H. Foley?

  What's that? It's gotta be some... Something had to happen.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  To me, it was always like, "We were about to get separated and we decided to not." I don't know.

• 46:25H. Foley?

  So we're renewing our vows.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  We're gonna renew our vows.

• 46:28H. Foley?

  Drag everybody to see this one more time.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Fucking dog and pony show you got going on here.

• 46:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's always bad. Like 50-year-old people do it, 65-year-old people do it.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:40H. Foley?

  Which as you know, I do a lot of material on this. About later in life weddings.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 46:45H. Foley?

  Have you seen these things?

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Well, I get maybe like, uh, if it is, if you're doing it with like...

• 46:51H. Foley?

  Fuck that, I ain't going, man. You're dragging me out to some fucking hotel on a Wednesday?

• 46:56Speaker 01

  I don't, this is what I'm saying.

• 46:57H. Foley?

  To do this shit?

• 46:58Speaker 01

  I don't think people are inviting extended people. They're not sending out invitations. I would assume it's like, "Hey, me and your mother, your close brother, sister, whatever", you know? Like, you're like, "Hey, I'm gonna have..." Hey, to me, it would be the same people of like, "Hey, we're having a cookout on Sunday, come over."

• 47:15H. Foley?

  Like that kinda squad.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  It'd be like you, your mom, your brother, your aunt and uncle, cousins, like the tight.

• 47:21H. Foley?

  Well, who's getting married?

• 47:23Speaker 01

  No one's getting married, you're renewing your vows.

• 47:24H. Foley?

  Who is?

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Whoever. I'm just saying, say your fucking, your cousin wanted to. It would be the, the 20-person circle would get the invite.

• 47:32H. Foley?

  The tight, the tight circle.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  10 would show up.

• 47:34H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's like, they're not sending, you're not, you know, people from work ain't getting invited and shit. I ain't going, I'll tell you that much.

• 47:43H. Foley?

  You've never heard of anything like that in your neck of the woods, right?

• 47:46Speaker 02

  No, but I feel like my end of it is always like, rich people doing it big.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Really?

• 47:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, but like, still more intimate, not like wedding size, but like, oh, we're filing the whole family out to like Turks and Caicos and doing it there or something.

• 48:00H. Foley?

  Have you done that? Have you seen that?

• 48:01Speaker 02

  No, never, I've never, I, it's, I only like TV shows.

• 48:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  That's, I mean, I don't know what it would take for Denise.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  Really? Did they do it on, uh, Fresh Prince? Did they renew their vows?

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Most, dude, every sitcom at some point, that's the only reason I know it.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  I always thought your dad did it when he went, when you went to Vegas.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  And the Borgata? No, it was a marriage. That was a wedding that me-

• 48:24H. Foley?

  And Texas Hold'em tournament.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Shout out to Binions. Shout out to Doyle Brunson.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  That was, that, I'm not gonna lie, that felt, that wedding in my dad's second marriage in Vegas.

• 48:40H. Foley?

  You went to it too, right?

• 48:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, my little brother was the ring bearer and I thought that was, I was jealous. I was like, this kid's fucking killing it.

• 48:48H. Foley?

  How many people were there?

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Shout out, Michael.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  It was me, my brother, my sister did not go. That was ultimately, listen. Chicken sandwiches, she threw a party that weekend at my dad's house.

• 49:04H. Foley?

  Sick.

• 49:06H. Foley?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Now that dad's in Vegas getting married. I don't know why my sister's a dumb bitch, but-

• 49:12H. Foley?

  I would've done the same thing.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  I think it was like after a dance. Like, you know, it was like a high school dance or something like prom, something like that, maybe. It couldn't have been college, had to be high school. They took pictures, disposable camera, she left the pictures in like her drawer at my dad's.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  My little brother was like, I mean, he was like four or whatever. It was just like, found them in her room, came down and was like, here's pictures of all these kids partying at the house. That was the first real split in the,

• 49:40H. Foley?

  Was your dad pissed?

• 49:41Speaker 01

  That was the first big fight. What?

• 49:43H. Foley?

  Was he pissed?

• 49:43Speaker 01

  He was not, he was not, you've heard stories, he was not happy. Um, but that wedding, it was me, my brother, me, my two brothers, me, Danny, Michael, Matthew wasn't born yet, Michael was.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  I remember he's like, me and Audrey are getting married. He sat me down, same sit down. I was like, this is bad. Anytime you get sat down in the fam- the living room, you're jammed up. Things aren't going great. He goes, we're gonna, he was like, told me, it was like this big load off his chest. He's like, we're gonna get married. Is that okay? I'm like, I got a four-year-old brother. You guys have been, you guys bought a house together. What the fu- it'd be weird if you didn't, guy.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:24H. Foley?

  Are you checking in with me now?

• 50:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm like, you own a business together? What the fuck you talking about? Now, now you're checking, you're taking a temperature on us?

• 50:34Speaker 01

  A little pot committed at this point to bring up your poker analogy.

• 50:37H. Foley?

  They're repo'ing the car right now. Just pulling out of the driveway.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  I love her, man. Uh, yeah, so it was me.

• 50:44H. Foley?

  What'd you say?

• 50:46Speaker 01

  I remember being like, I, what? Yeah, like this is, that's paperwork at this point, buddy. You're fucking, you're in it.

• 50:52H. Foley?

  He asked me, this is dinner time?

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Dropped his shit on me. I got a fucking math test in the morning. I was 10. I was probably 13, something like that. Um, yeah, so my, my dad's, um,

• 51:07Speaker 01

  business partner, Sam and his wife.

• 51:12H. Foley?

  It's a rough squad.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Dude, Sam, shout out Sam. He was a, a older black guy from North Carolina, South Carolina. He had Sam's secret sauce. I told you, he used to put that shit on hot dogs. Blew my fucking hair back. I remember him going, you think, you like hot dogs? I go, I love hot dogs. He goes, wait till you see this shit. He was gr- he'd come over to my dad's house and grill for the big barbecues. Man, that was the first time I seen a jar, saw an undescript, unlabeled jar of sauce. And he was painting us, he might as well have had a fucking, a paint roller to put that shit on the, on the food. Um, but yeah, them two. I wanna say that, uh, my dad, my-

• 51:49H. Foley?

  She had to have somebody, right?

• 51:51Speaker 01

  She had her-

• 51:51H. Foley?

  She had bridesmaids?

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Her parents. I can probably get the pa- I can't show the picture though.

• 51:56H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 51:57Speaker 01

  I think her brother-

• 51:58H. Foley?

  But she weren't- I bet you she was wearing a headband.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  What?

• 52:02H. Foley?

  Instead of a veil. You know what I mean, like the-

• 52:03Speaker 01

  Like a, like a band- that. She's not an old lady. It wasn't a patch over.

• 52:09H. Foley?

  No, I'm saying like, you know, sometimes brides-

• 52:11Speaker 01

  Sure, like the, yeah, no.

• 52:12H. Foley?

  Halos.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  No, she had a nice dress. Was that the Bellagio that had just opened? I remember being like, I remember telling people at school. Dad's getting my Bellagio. And I remember, and then I remember to not being that classy.

• 52:27H. Foley?

  Is that the guy you moved in the middle of the night with?

• 52:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're doing alright. He's actually gonna marry you, you believe that?

• 52:37H. Foley?

  He ran it by me. I said, "Yeah, you know, go get it."

• 52:39Speaker 01

  I gave him the okay.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  No, they, uh-

• 52:48Speaker 01

  That wedding, um-

• 52:52Speaker 01

  What was I fucking saying?

• 52:54H. Foley?

  You're saying the guy with the hot dogs.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  No, you shut out Sam. First conversion van I had seen too. Let us borrow that to go to Toronto.

• 53:01H. Foley?

  Man, this is real high dollar stuff, huh?

• 53:04H. Foley?

  Hot dog spread and fucking-

• 53:05Speaker 01

  Conversion van to Montreal.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  No, that was me realizing it wasn't fancy. Now, this is funny, like, I've never looked at it through that-

• 53:15H. Foley?

  Where'd you eat dinner? I always forget. What'd you, what'd you do for dinner after that?

• 53:18Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't think me, I, I think the, the parent, I think the adults went out and me, Danny and my younger brother went and sat in the hotel room and wat- babysat my younger brother. That's what, I remember that vividly.

• 53:29H. Foley?

  Get some of the hot dog sauce?

• 53:32Speaker 01

  They're drinking it.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  I'm ordering room service. I'm putting it on like grilled cheese and shit.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Taking a sip of it.

• 53:45H. Foley?

  Gets you in the back of the mouth.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  You guys get it, Travis. I'm telling the bellhop.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, they went out to like play the tables or something. And, but it is, I remember going, I remember thinking, I was like at the Bellagio, fancy Vegas. Vegas to me was fancy at that time.

• 54:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, you are fucking trash.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  And I remember when I realized it wasn't fancy, we had to wait for another couple to finish their wedding so we could go in.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  And there was people, we were like in line, there was people behind us. And me going, "Oh, I thought we were the only ones getting married at the Bellagio." I thought, you know, we were selected.

• 54:29H. Foley?

  You shut the joint down.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought it was like...

• 54:31H. Foley?

  A fucking room of floor, or floor rooms.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:34H. Foley?

  Private plane.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  High roller shit.

• 54:38H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Nah, this was, this was tangy barbecue sauce.

• 54:42H. Foley?

  Presidential suite.

• 54:43Speaker 01

  This was, we're babysitting, we, you know.

• 54:46H. Foley?

  Barbecue sauce and a green Tupperware.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  Had to wait in line.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, we had to wait. I remember we stood in like a single file line.

• 54:54H. Foley?

  Old man had to put that hoof cream on his nuts after that. All sparks flying.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah. That's second wedding shit.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  The party was like fifteen, twenty people?

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Well, I didn't go to the party.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  No, like just your whole group?

• 55:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, maybe, yeah, probably that, probably that. I don't think my, like our good family friends were there. Yeah, I think it was just that, because I remember just me and Danny running around the casino.

• 55:19H. Foley?

  So, yeah, renewing your wedding vows. That's trash. But God love yous.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, someone's gotta do it.

• 55:26H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:27Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. Uh, this one's from Chris. Uh, ten dollar general counsel here, great name.

• 55:33H. Foley?

  Good name.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  "You's ever been so jammed up, you swapped the driver's side and passenger's side wiper blades after you noticed that the driver's side is coming apart and the passenger's side seems to have way less wear on it?" I've never thought of that. That's brilliant. That's really good.

• 55:47H. Foley?

  But I've been in that since wiper blades, man. Stink.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  I don't get them.

• 55:50H. Foley?

  They go quick.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  I don't get it.

• 55:52H. Foley?

  Either you got a good pair, or... The ones on my car suck. Just all of a sudden, you get that film, you can't get the defrost right.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  Is that on the inside? I think that's on the inside.

• 56:02H. Foley?

  I think it has to do with both. One, one affects the other. Because if you, if, if, if you're too hot in the inside, it's gonna streak no matter what.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know. It's one thing I've, I remember at one point having us a pretty good understanding of like, do you want the, like, the best thing of like, circle the air in or pull it in from it. You know how you have that? You can be like, let's, let's recycle it, or let's bring it in new intake. And like, the best time for the rain and the heat, if it's cold out and it's hot.

• 56:32H. Foley?

  I'm never

• 56:33Speaker 01

  I don't know it anymore.

• 56:34H. Foley?

  I'm never at a constant

• 56:35Speaker 01

  No.

• 56:35H. Foley?

  in the car. I'm always, I'm always playing defense, hot or cold.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, you're constantly adjusting it.

• 56:41H. Foley?

  And you know some people, you know, fucks me up, when people close the vents and you don't realize it.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  And you start cooking on the driver's side or whatever?

• 56:50H. Foley?

  I know somebody that would close the vents.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Luke?

• 56:53H. Foley?

  No.

• 56:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:54H. Foley?

  But, I, I, it was, that was unheard of in my family. I, I, that's like fucking stealing the flu. Closing the vents.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  What's your take on this? I was in the back of an Uber with Luke yesterday.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  Big Uber, right? Large Uber.

• 57:10H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  They got the dials in the back that you can control it.

• 57:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Luke was a little hot or a little cold?

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Hot.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  Luke was a little hot.

• 57:18H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  And he's like dabbling with it. I guess he can't figure out the controls. So then he asked the driver, can you turn it, the air down? I was like, he asked the driver when he's got full command center.

• 57:28H. Foley?

  He didn't know what he was doing.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  No, so

• 57:29H. Foley?

  Was it locked?

• 57:30Speaker 02

  He didn't have the AC on, so I'm just getting air.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:33Speaker 02

  I'm not getting AC.

• 57:34Speaker 01

  You can't turn the AC on in the back?

• 57:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  He has the AC control at the top.

• 57:37H. Foley?

  Yeah. I'll give him that.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Okay, I didn't know that.

• 57:40H. Foley?

  If you need something, say something.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  Thank you, Henry.

• 57:42H. Foley?

  You're welcome.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Got that.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  Place him with AI.

• 57:48H. Foley?

  What are you gonna do with him?

• 57:50Speaker 01

  What?

• 57:50H. Foley?

  It's like, you know, you expecting him to?

• 57:54Speaker 01

  I don't know. Yeah, it was just, I saw him fumbling with it.

• 57:56H. Foley?

  He's a child of comfort. He doesn't know anything but, he doesn't know anything but to ask.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  Kind of spot on.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  He also took us to the wrong location.

• 58:08H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 58:10H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  I didn't yell at him.

• 58:13H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  I don't yell at him.

• 58:14H. Foley?

  No.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  I don't think I've ever yelled at Luke.

• 58:16H. Foley?

  I never.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  I've been stern with him once or twice.

• 58:17H. Foley?

  I've never yelled at Luke.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have.

• 58:19H. Foley?

  No, I have never yelled at you.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  I've never been yelled at by Kibby. I have been yelled at by.

• 58:23H. Foley?

  When have I yelled at you? You've yelled at me.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have yelled at you.

• 58:26H. Foley?

  Several times.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Yes, several times.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  L.A., you really yelled at me. No.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  Or Dick Hakan.

• 58:32H. Foley?

  You yelled at me in L.A. out of nowhere. Really gave it to me, too. Bit of a turn on.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  That's unfortunately how you get your rocks off.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Brat correction.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 58:41H. Foley?

  What, brat correction?

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a kink.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  Ew.

• 58:44Speaker 01

  Is that what you... Eh, ooh, send me a link on that. Send me a full Wiki breakdown.

• 58:49H. Foley?

  Brat correction?

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're being a brat so you get fucking slapped around a little bit.

• 58:53H. Foley?

  No, I don't like that.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do, little freak.

• 58:56H. Foley?

  No, I don't like watching that.

• 58:57Speaker 01

  No, you like be... you like getting slapped, though.

• 58:59H. Foley?

  Bratty stepdaughter, step... stepfather, I mean, you know.

• 59:03H. Foley?

  As long as, you know.

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Imagine you're the stepdaughter.

• 59:07H. Foley?

  Whatever, what are we talking about?

• 59:08Speaker 01

  I know, you brought it up.

• 59:09H. Foley?

  Fucking creep.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  You're a creep.

• 59:10H. Foley?

  I don't watch that shit.

• 59:12Speaker 02

  No one said you did.

• 59:13H. Foley?

  Nope.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  I know.

• 59:14H. Foley?

  I go to the Lord.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  It's so... it's so funny when you like adamantly deny something that like you pure... you clearly do.

• 59:19H. Foley?

  I like stepdaughter, stepdad stuff. What the fuck? What am I, jerk off?

• 59:22Speaker 01

  No, no one said... first of all, you just said you don't watch that stuff. I don't know what you're doing. You bring... you're... you're the king of bringing something up and then going, "No, I don't do that." It's like, well, no one fucking said it.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  More than 11.

• 59:34H. Foley?

  Episole, ladies and gentlemen, episole.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  Ep... epistopping spray?

• 59:38H. Foley?

  Epistopping spray.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. Um, all right, let's see here. Uh, this one's from Joe. Joe Garbagio here, $10 shareholder. Dividends used for poor life choices. Respect that.

• 59:48H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Is it... this is a... this is a dirtbag move. Is it garbage to take all but one debit card out of your wallet? That way, when you're at the cashier and you're not sure if it's gonna work, you can rifle through and go, "Ah, I think my wife took my other card. This is all I got."

• 1:00:04H. Foley?

  Like it.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Jammed up but trying to play it cool. I like that.

• 1:00:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  That's a pretty good defense mechanism. I've never... I guess I might have done... I don't have my wallet on me. I only have this card. I might have done that once or twice.

• 1:00:15H. Foley?

  I do something similar where I keep a bunch of old debit cards or credit cards in my wallet.

• 1:00:23H. Foley?

  So, I can... i... i... if it doesn't go through, I can... oh shit, I... I don't know, it's...

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  But then it just looks like you... all those cards don't work, cause then one of those should work.

• 1:00:32H. Foley?

  I say they're old ones. I fucking forgot the wrong one.

• 1:00:38H. Foley?

  Let me show you.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  No, I get it. I don't get what you, what you, what, if you go, oh.

• 1:00:42H. Foley?

  I wanna know that I've had cards before.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Okay, but you don't have any money.

• 1:00:46H. Foley?

  No. You know, I don't know which one this is. I think this is an old work one and this and that. It gives me more of a story. I have more of a, more props to play with.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  I got denied yesterday, if I'm being honest with you. I went, I got a haircut and they, now you go, you go to any of these places. I'd never been to this place. I give my number. They go, can we have your phone number? Hey, you already, you already cut my hair. Also, the guy washed my hair. I'm like, I'm okay. He's like, "No, it's not the price. It's not the price." Same price. I go.

• 1:01:13H. Foley?

  I like getting my hair washed.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  I know, but we were in a rush. We were doing stuff yesterday and I'm like, I popped in. I'm like, it's more of a time thing. He's like, whoa, dude, in a rush? I'm like, "Yeah, it's fucking noon on a Tuesday. We're working here. I shoot content."

• 1:01:25H. Foley?

  I love that feeling.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  It's nice.

• 1:01:27H. Foley?

  Going back in that sink and the warm water running over your head.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, but this guy's.

• 1:01:30H. Foley?

  It's very, um.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  This guy's name was Eli. It's sensual. And this guy's name was, he, dude, he was like a.

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  I would say it's, uh, what's the word? When, in the, in the womb.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Erotic.

• 1:01:39H. Foley?

  In the womb.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  In utero?

• 1:01:42H. Foley?

  Yeah. You get that vibe.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  You wait.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  You've got memories from in there?

• 1:01:48H. Foley?

  No, but I'm just saying, it feels good. Like you're, it feels like you're in the womb. The warm water running over your ears and like, you get that.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. I get you. Yeah, sure. I, I get that it's, it's, it's a little too sensual for me.

• 1:02:01H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  Uh huh. I'd rather be doing a lot of other, I don't need my hair washed.

• 1:02:07H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I like it if a hot broad with her fucking knockers are jiggling in my face.

• 1:02:12H. Foley?

  Jesus, what's wrong with Eli?

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  His knockers were not. "Hey, how long you been living in the city?" It's like, knock it off. I'm hard, alright? Um. But it got denied. She goes, oh, can, I give her my phone number. And I don't know how the fuck this happens. She goes, can we use the fucking Amex ending in 1004? And I go, I guess. And that is a number that I kind of remember. And I go. The number we have on file, oh yeah, I get, I don't know, how the fuck you got my-

• 1:02:40H. Foley?

  Have you been there before?

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  No!

• 1:02:42H. Foley?

  That's weird.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  But I think they're... Like, Dave, I think a lot of them have linked up. Or like, if it's like a Toast type thing. If you go, if you're like, Toast has your information if you signed up on-

• 1:02:54H. Foley?

  What the fuck, you shit this everywhere then?

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. You're, I mean, which I'm fine with, but I go, "Yeah, I guess," and then she goes, "Okay, you're all set." I had already tipped, I had already tipped Eli.

• 1:03:04H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  Boom, hit him with a dub. Before I even went over, I said, "That's for you." The news is like, "I like a place where you go and he rings you up, he cut your hair and goes over and he's like, he hits a cash register that doesn't have a screen, he's like, "It's gonna be thirty-two," or whatever it is. "Here you go," and I grease him on top of the total.

• 1:03:22H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  I like doing that, but I saw this wasn't one of those places, they had some, some broad at the front desk with a bunch of computers and laptops and shit.

• 1:03:28H. Foley?

  She for shampoo.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Um, so I tipped him right away, then I went over to pay, because it was gonna be two separate transactions. I get denied. So I pay and I walk away, I'm getting all my stuff, she goes, "Kevin, this didn't go through," and now there's like a couple of like, heavy hitter, like, you know, rich looking guys. Now I'm embarrassed. And I go, "But you didn't, I didn't even know where that card wa-" Now you're just like,

• 1:03:48H. Foley?

  Oh, you loser.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  You just look like an idiot. You can't... I was like, "I think that's an old card, I don't even know that number, blah blah blah blah blah."

• 1:03:55H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  I put it on the company card.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  I had to show that I had an A-, I had to show that I had money, so I like, held up the Amex. I'm like, "Will my Amex Platinum work?"

• 1:04:08H. Foley?

  It's not the name on that card.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  Oh, we were shooting content that day, I needed it. I was hair and makeup.

• 1:04:12H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  That's what I'm telling the account.

• 1:04:14H. Foley?

  Wait, that's a fresh haircut?

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16H. Foley?

  When'd you get it?

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  Twenty-four hours ago.

• 1:04:19H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  Talked to Eli.

• 1:04:20H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:04:21H. Foley?

  Looks good, because it doesn't look like you just got a haircut.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  No, I'll give you that, it doesn't. Which I norma-, I normally wear a bad hair, I nor-, I wear a haircut bad for three days.

• 1:04:30H. Foley?

  Skippy McSkippy Doo over here.

• 1:04:31Speaker 01

  It stinks, I know, it's, I, it's, I, I'm jammed up, what you want from me?

• 1:04:35H. Foley?

  Stink.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Thinking about plugs.

• 1:04:37H. Foley?

  Huh? Nah, you don't need plugs.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  Shark, hit me.

• 1:04:42H. Foley?

  Just leave it the way it is, it's fine.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  I'm not getting plugs, I'm forty, married, wife, kid, get plugs?

• 1:04:47H. Foley?

  Are you forty?

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be forty in a couple of months.

• 1:04:49H. Foley?

  Oh shit.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  You getting me?

• 1:04:53H. Foley?

  It's in August, right?

• 1:04:56H. Foley?

  Got you a decent haircut, huh? I hate them. I'll get you something nice for your 40th birthday.

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  Like what?

• 1:05:01H. Foley?

  I don't know, what do you get a dickhead like you, though? Bitch about everything. You don't like nothing. Remember when you were in the records for a minute?

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  I still am, I just bought a record not that long ago.

• 1:05:11H. Foley?

  Here we go.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Why don't you like that?

• 1:05:13H. Foley?

  What record?

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  Um, Bob Newhart. I bought it-

• 1:05:17H. Foley?

  Bob Newhart?

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:19H. Foley?

  The comedian?

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:21H. Foley?

  That was like eight months ago.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  That was... maybe... eight weeks ago, maybe?

• 1:05:27H. Foley?

  Have you listened to it?

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  So what's that mean?

• 1:05:32H. Foley?

  I don't know, you don't use a record player.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  I do use the record player. I, uh, just, unfortunately, I play my, I play Billy Joel constantly for me and the baby when we're in the burbs. Constantly.

• 1:05:43H. Foley?

  On the record-

• 1:05:43Speaker 01

  Because music is supposedly, you can feel the record more-

• 1:05:46H. Foley?

  Not the stranger.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  More than you can-

• 1:05:48H. Foley?

  It's supposed to be like classical music.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  No, no, no, you feel the music.

• 1:05:52H. Foley?

  You went uptown riding in your-

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  It is for sure the stranger. Um... But, uh, yeah, they can feel, they're supposed to be able to feel the music more than digital. Like on, uh, the pop, the crackle, you feel it in your body. So I play it for them, and we dance.

• 1:06:09H. Foley?

  Play it fully for them.

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  But it skips in the same place.

• 1:06:13H. Foley?

  What, you got a scratch record?

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got a scratch record. It's also probably from the fucking 80s. I'm not buying new Billy Joel records.

• 1:06:21H. Foley?

  I don't think they make them.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's my-

• 1:06:22H. Foley?

  They're not printing new, uh, waxing new, print wax-

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  Um, anyhow-

• 1:06:27H. Foley?

  Pressing?

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  But yeah, maybe give me a record, that'd be nice. No.

• 1:06:33H. Foley?

  Get you a dinner somewhere or something.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  I'm alright.

• 1:06:36H. Foley?

  You don't want dinner?

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  Your birthday dinners are-

• 1:06:37H. Foley?

  No, I'm not gonna go with you, I'll get you a gift card somewhere.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, why would you go with your friend?

• 1:06:42H. Foley?

  You don't think I like you?

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  You gave me a gift card?

• 1:06:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  You don't get a guy you like a gift card. That's what, you, you don't, you go, "You don't think I like you?", I'll get you a gift card or something.

• 1:06:50H. Foley?

  I'll get a gift card, use a little bit of it and give you a gift card?

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  There's 3284 on there.

• 1:06:56H. Foley?

  I already know what I'm getting at.

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:06:58H. Foley?

  I've been talking to Luke about it.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  The lies, my god, the lies.

• 1:07:03H. Foley?

  Look, am I right or wrong?

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  You're wrong.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  You fucking piece of shit.

• 1:07:07H. Foley?

  This is why.

• 1:07:09H. Foley?

  You can't fucking just back me up once?

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  You were, you called out my-

• 1:07:14H. Foley?

  It doesn't matter.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  ...performance this episode.

• 1:07:16H. Foley?

  It doesn't matter.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  You're calling out my childhood comforts as this episode?

• 1:07:20H. Foley?

  You turn that all around.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  You're the kinda guy in a conversation, you'll burn a bridge-

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  ...and then get mad you can't cross the bridge. It's insane. I don't, I like, I'll never-

• 1:07:27H. Foley?

  That's what I expect out of you.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  And then you kinda like it that he fucking, that he changed it a little bit.

• 1:07:31H. Foley?

  No, I don't. This, this I don't.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  This'll be going.

• 1:07:34H. Foley?

  Right, right. That shows a lot. I burn ya, then you don't burn me back, now you got a friend for life.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  The H. Foley School, School of Fucking Diabolical Behavior, ladies and gentlemen. Alright, we gotta wrap it up.

• 1:07:45H. Foley?

  Gang, I'm gonna tell you this right now, you forget all that.

• 1:07:48Speaker 01

  Forget all that!

• 1:07:49H. Foley?

  We love-

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  Forget-

• 1:07:52H. Foley?

  The kinda pornography I watch.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  Ignoreize yourself.

• 1:07:55H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you to death and we'll see you next week.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Peace!