Puffer Stays ON

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week Brooke and Connor discuss the latest in their lives, from battling mysterious illnesses, to bar fights, to thrifting hidden gems. Plus, their thoughts on the new season of White Lotus and SNL 50. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Start your hair growth journey and get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at https://Nutrafol.com with code bandc. Download the app and date your way on Bumble! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 00:00 good to SEE you 03:00 intro 3:18 setting it straight 8:30 fingers in mouth 10:00 nutrafol 11:55 celeb sighting 12:40 mic flirting 13:42 celeb sighting pt 2 15:01 starstruck at the bar 17:27 saved by go puff 19:06 connor’s life updates 20:35 sweaty tits 21:55 bumble 24:05 beanie baby reunion 29:17 puffers in kappa 33:18 mom’s weekend 35:51 betterhelp 38:07 little shop of horrors 39:21 trying therapy 41:11 bar fight 47:52 briefs 50:10 snl 50 54:04 george costanza 57:04 bridget jones diary 59:14 white lotus 1:05:31 the plane crash 1:07:36 see you in bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Connor Wood?

  Hi, Brooke.

• 1:01Brooke Averick?

  Hi, Connor.

• 1:03Connor Wood?

  Oh, I'm so excited to see you.

• 1:04Brooke Averick?

  It's good to see you.

• 1:05Connor Wood?

  Um, it's unbelievable to see you as well. Like I was saying earlier.

• 1:09Brooke Averick?

  It's good to see you.

• 1:11Connor Wood?

  It's... First of all, it's good to see. Let's take that word for word. It's so good to see. I think about every day what life would be back... Would be like if I couldn't see. But then to add the extra piece of the equation. You, see, comma, you.

• 1:26Brooke Averick?

  I completely am aligned with that, especially with my contacts in. Like you are in HD crystal clear 2020. What a privilege it is to not only see clearly, but see you clearly for what feels like the first time.

• 1:39Connor Wood?

  See you clearly. Capital C across the board.

• 1:43Brooke Averick?

  Speaking of see clearly. I accident... I got prescription sunglasses so that I could see clearly in the sun. Which seems like a brilliant idea.

• 1:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:53Brooke Averick?

  Now, when you are wearing your contacts...

• 1:57Brooke Averick?

  And you look through a prescription. It is blurry. Did you know that?

• 2:04Connor Wood?

  Cause it like cancels each other out?

• 2:05Brooke Averick?

  It's like my old vision. Cause it's like perfect vision looking through. It's like what you would see if you put on my glasses.

• 2:12Connor Wood?

  Dare I say cancels each other out, no?

• 2:14Brooke Averick?

  Dare you say it? I don't know why no one, why, I don't know why no one, why would they fail to mention me that?

• 2:22Connor Wood?

  I don't know why they fail to mention you that. Specifically that, because that seems like a big.

• 2:26Brooke Averick?

  It feels big.

• 2:28Connor Wood?

  Like not to, like, play DA here, but why were you putting on your glasses if you have contacts in? Oh, your sunglasses. Oh, Lord. Well.

• 2:39Brooke Averick?

  Maybe that was probably like incredibly, um, not only stupid, but dumb on my part.

• 2:44Connor Wood?

  I don't, don't be so hard on yourself. No one would know that unless they took elementary school and remembered it.

• 2:51Brooke Averick?

  Warby Parker took me for a fucking ride. Connor, let's just leave it at that. Let's just leave it at that.

• 2:56Connor Wood?

  Speak on them right now.

• 2:58Brooke Averick?

  Let's just leave it at that.

• 2:59Connor Wood?

  We can leave it right there.

• 3:00Brooke Averick?

  Let's just leave it at that.

• 3:01Connor Wood?

  Warby, I was thinking, I was gonna suggest to you maybe, um, transition lenses for contacts, but.

• 3:08Brooke Averick?

  I just need to get non-prescription sunglasses, which is now clear to me.

• 3:12Connor Wood?

  Good song.

• 3:12Brooke Averick?

  But I already spent $2.50 on the prescription sunglasses. Would have been like a hundred if I didn't get talked into the, um, blue light and the anti, anti-fatigue.

• 3:24Connor Wood?

  Oh, I've done that and they had to ship to you. Yeah.

• 3:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. The anti-fatigue piece really put me over the edge.

• 3:29Connor Wood?

  I mean.

• 3:30Brooke Averick?

  Honestly, if someone tells me this will help you with your fatigue, this will be anti-fatiguing. I'm gonna say, okay, give it to me.

• 3:37Connor Wood?

  I'm no better than you.

• 3:38Brooke Averick?

  I'm no better than you. But that again, took me for a freaking ride, so.

• 3:44Connor Wood?

  Did you think you were gonna see like 40/40 when you put in the?

• 3:47Brooke Averick?

  I thought maybe I'd just be less tired.

• 3:51Brooke Averick?

  But it turns out only my eyes will be less tired and I'm not even sure that that's the case. So.

• 3:58Connor Wood?

  Well, we're here and that's, that's what matters.

• 4:19Connor Wood?

  Welcome you guys all back to Brooke Connor Make a Podcast.

• 4:22Brooke Averick?

  Welcome you guys all back.

• 4:24Connor Wood?

  Welcome you guys all back. I'm just gonna touch on some things very quickly.

• 4:27Brooke Averick?

  Touch on them.

• 4:28Connor Wood?

  First of all, I'm feeling healthy for the first time in three weeks. It has been such an unbelievable ride, you guys. I think the peak of my illness, which I'll go into in a second, was last Wednesday. And it's good to see that public speculation is alive and well on the internet. I kind of relapsed on Reddit when someone said, "Did anyone notice Connor was inebriated on the podcast?"

• 4:46Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you're back in the trenches?

• 4:48Connor Wood?

  No, I was not inebriated. Thank you guys so much for that. You guys are all very creative storytellers, and I love that. And that is your right. As American Redditors, that is your right. And I love it.

• 5:00Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure it didn't help that I asked you if you were blackout.

• 5:02Connor Wood?

  No, but the thing is, I have never shied away from saying I am hung up or I am drunk.

• 5:08Brooke Averick?

  That is true. That is true.

• 5:09Connor Wood?

  In fact, I've leaned into it. Some of people's favorite episodes are me clinching the bucket for an hour and a half.

• 5:14Brooke Averick?

  That's true.

• 5:15Connor Wood?

  With glasses on, almost yakking. But no, that was not the case last week.

• 5:21Brooke Averick?

  You were feeling sickly.

• 5:22Connor Wood?

  Last week, I had moved all of my stuff out over the weekend. By the way, on the show that Maggie was on, remember I was like, "I'm on Sudafed and Mucinex"? It has been three full weeks of me being sick. And it's incredible because, well, first of all, I'll just wrap that part up.

• 5:41Connor Wood?

  I was on like, heavy meds last week because no one knew what illness I had on an empty stomach after flying here on the red eye. So I was out of it. So everyone was correct in that. I was trying to like, smile and push through, and I think I was overcompensating a bit and also just...

• 5:56Brooke Averick?

  Oh, honey, it's okay.

• 5:58Connor Wood?

  But...

• 5:59Brooke Averick?

  We all have off weeks, and I'm sure it's definitely challenging to see those off weeks analyzed on the internet.

• 6:06Connor Wood?

  Pushed out and through.

• 6:07Brooke Averick?

  Pushed out and through and having...

• 6:09Connor Wood?

  I will...

• 6:10Brooke Averick?

  Have a press send.

• 6:11Connor Wood?

  Having press send. I will say, like, one thing about us two, in three years, we have skipped two episodes ever.

• 6:21Connor Wood?

  And I think most people would probably take a break if with all of the things that we have going on right now. Not us, not us. So I thank everyone for the patience. We are working on a more permanent solution for the Zoom viewers.

• 6:35Brooke Averick?

  I think you'll like like it almost.

• 6:38Connor Wood?

  I think so too.

• 6:39Brooke Averick?

  Like it.

• 6:40Connor Wood?

  If everyone's, if anyone can see on camera right now, I did get a colorful mic that lights up as I speak. So the audio should be much better this week. I did figure out how to turn on or turn off the center stage zoom in zoom out.

• 6:51Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 6:51Connor Wood?

  On my Zoom.

• 6:54Connor Wood?

  But thank you for the patience. We're working on a solution and it will be. You have to start from under, under the bar to raise it because you have to lift it up.

• 7:04Brooke Averick?

  Maybe like your state of mind last week was for the best because it's like there's, we could only rise.

• 7:11Connor Wood?

  You can only rise. Yeah, like my, my, my, my like headspace after like seeing two comments, which like, I'm just assuming like the 100% of the comments that I saw were like, we have to kill Connor. And like, like we need to band together, find him and like pull his lens off his body like Genghis Khan style. And I was like, I'm with you. Like I will meet you guys out in the public square and we can do like a stoning. You guys can stone me. Um, I want to circle back to my illness, my mysterious illness. So I go to the doctor in LA. That's when I got the meds for my illness that they said I wasn't sick. I said, doc, I wouldn't be here. Like I don't want to come here. I don't have fun at the doctor's office. I don't want to be here. I promise you, I don't feel good.

• 7:56Brooke Averick?

  What were your symptoms?

• 7:57Connor Wood?

  Like everything. And it freaked me out because, so then I get to New York and the weather's freezing cold and I'm like, oh, I'm depressed. Like I must just be depressed. Can't stop sleeping 12 hours a day.

• 8:07Brooke Averick?

  This is so you when you moved to LA the first time.

• 8:10Connor Wood?

  Look, oh my gosh.

• 8:12Brooke Averick?

  And slept through the. The apocalypse with your mono.

• 8:15Connor Wood?

  So then I go, no, Brooke, that's exactly, I was like, oh my gosh, wait. No, like I'm, I forgot I'm sick. My throat hurts. I'm grumpy. I'm tired. I had a long day. Every single day. And so I go back to the doctor's office because, and this is gross, sorry, I just want to like explain to everybody. I had like. The like white stuff at the back of my.

• 8:36Brooke Averick?

  Ooh.

• 8:37Connor Wood?

  My tonsils were swollen and I had that crap. And so I go in and she's like, oh yeah, you have pneumonia.

• 8:42Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 8:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah. And I was like, really? She's like, well, have you had mono? And I was like, yeah. She's like, when? I was like, like five, six years ago. And she's like. Oh, it could be mono. And I was like, my God, like, because that would make sense because it's been three weeks. Um, and then she gave me antibiotics finally and like day one of antibiotics. I was like, oh my gosh, it was whatever. She, these antibiotics are for. So now I'm like back. I'm so thankful to be back. I'm not sleeping.

• 9:09Brooke Averick?

  I'm thankful for that and for antibiotics.

• 9:12Connor Wood?

  One thing it's.

• 9:13Brooke Averick?

  You know what you need to start doing though?

• 9:16Connor Wood?

  What?

• 9:17Brooke Averick?

  Like when you feel sick, just like take it easy if possible.

• 9:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 9:22Brooke Averick?

  Like it's, it's okay to like. Spend the day in bed when you're sick.

• 9:26Connor Wood?

  I did that like all last week.

• 9:28Brooke Averick?

  Okay, good.

• 9:29Connor Wood?

  It's weird and I, uh, two things I'm, I am removing from my life, biting my nails because I've been touching so much stuff here. And I'm too scared to get sick again.

• 9:37Brooke Averick?

  Off my lips right now?

• 9:38Connor Wood?

  Now put your fingers in your mouth and like count your blessings.

• 9:40Brooke Averick?

  My chylitis is like out of control.

• 9:42Connor Wood?

  I want to put my fist in my whole, I want to put my whole fist in my mouth.

• 9:47Connor Wood?

  Right now, because I miss it.

• 9:49Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 9:49Connor Wood?

  And my year ago today's, because my year ago today was me walking Max, going to get a coffee on the canals. And the sun is shining. And there's going to be a blizzard here tomorrow.

• 9:58Brooke Averick?

  What do you miss? Putting your fist in your mouth?

• 10:01Connor Wood?

  Putting my fingers and all my fingers in my mouth. But then also Snapchat year ago today.

• 10:05Brooke Averick?

  Why aren't you, why aren't you just doing it then?

• 10:07Connor Wood?

  Because I touched, you know, like I get on the subway and I touched the bar.

• 10:10Brooke Averick?

  Oh, oh.

• 10:12Connor Wood?

  I'm done with that.

• 10:13Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, I wasn't following. I assumed you would just do it regardless.

• 10:17Connor Wood?

  No, no, I'm like too aware of, like, I'm going to be a guy that has hand sanitizer in his pocket now.

• 10:21Brooke Averick?

  I think I would even draw the line at subway. Subway to fist and mouth pipeline.

• 10:26Connor Wood?

  I totally agree. There's a drop of sweat running down in between my tits right now.

• 10:31Connor Wood?

  Like it's crazy, but I'm not gonna take off my sweater. But I want you to know that I'm ignoring it.

• 10:37Connor Wood?

  But it is running ever so slowly down the middle of my grand teatons.

• 10:43Brooke Averick?

  Ah, I liked you referring to your breasts as tits just then.

• 10:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like, that's what they are.

• 10:52Brooke Averick?

  I generally, I generally don't like that word. Like, it's not something that I would say, but I liked you saying it just then in that context.

• 11:02Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh, guess who was getting coffee this morning next to me?

• 11:06Brooke Averick?

  You wanna do 20 questions, or you wanted to tell me?

• 11:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:11Brooke Averick?

  Are they an actor?

• 11:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:12Brooke Averick?

  Are they a girl?

• 11:14Connor Wood?

  No.

• 11:14Brooke Averick?

  Are they a boy?

• 11:15Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:16Brooke Averick?

  Um, are they young?

• 11:19Connor Wood?

  No.

• 11:20Brooke Averick?

  Are they, are they like over 50?

• 11:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:23Brooke Averick?

  Are they a comedian?

• 11:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Brooke Averick?

  Were they on SNL?

• 11:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:28Brooke Averick?

  Will Ferrell?

• 11:29Connor Wood?

  No.

• 11:30Brooke Averick?

  Adjacent to Will Ferrell?

• 11:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:33Brooke Averick?

  Um, is it Adam Sandler?

• 11:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Well done.

• 11:38Brooke Averick?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 11:41Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I was like sitting in this coffee shop and I was with Hunter and this guy walks in, didn't even look at him.

• 11:47Brooke Averick?

  Mike, your mic went out.

• 11:48Connor Wood?

  Wait, wait.

• 11:55Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh, wait, can you hear me?

• 11:58Connor Wood?

  Wait, oh, my gosh, okay, okay, wait.

• 12:02Connor Wood?

  I've been, I've been-

• 12:03Brooke Averick?

  And he saved the day.

• 12:04Connor Wood?

  He need to save the day. I, I, okay, so there's a mute button on the mic that I've been, I've been touching you with my nose.

• 12:12Brooke Averick?

  You've been flirting with it? You've been flirting with the mute button?

• 12:15Connor Wood?

  I've been tapping, tip tapping on it with the tip of my nose.

• 12:18Brooke Averick?

  You've been Eskimo kissing the mute button.

• 12:20Connor Wood?

  And it's not a button. You don't put, it doesn't click when you push it. It like, is like touchscreen, but it doesn't look touchscreen. And so it like-

• 12:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I understand.

• 12:29Connor Wood?

  And I just so faintly Kenny saw like a little microphone with a line through it on the front of it. Wow. Like, that's the power of community.

• 12:36Brooke Averick?

  That'll do it.

• 12:38Connor Wood?

  That's the power of community and everyone like having a semi grasp on IT. Like, maybe you muted it. Okay, maybe I did with my nose. Okay, we're back. But, um, okay, Adam Sandler, yeah, he was like, he walked in, like, perfect thing, like, most perfect thing I've ever heard a man say. You guys still sell coffee here?

• 12:58Brooke Averick?

  That is hysterical.

• 13:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, they do. And then he got a little coffee and he just went on his way. That's, that's one person I saw.

• 13:07Brooke Averick?

  I wonder if he feels pressured to always like walk in a place and deliver a line like that.

• 13:11Connor Wood?

  Uh, like, uh-oh, here comes, oh, boy.

• 13:14Brooke Averick?

  Like, yes, here I am.

• 13:16Connor Wood?

  You still work here? Obviously, like, I want to put like a little notch in my Boy Scout belt or whatever they put on the, their satchel, their sash, whatever, a patch, right?

• 13:28Brooke Averick?

  Uh, a badge?

• 13:30Connor Wood?

  A badge. Like, he totally is-

• 13:32Brooke Averick?

  A badge on your sash, eh?

• 13:33Connor Wood?

  A badge on my sash.

• 13:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Can you hear my stomach?

• 13:38Connor Wood?

  No.

• 13:38Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 13:39Connor Wood?

  Like, the same way that I, you guys can't hear the jackhammer absolutely going ape shit like 10 feet from my left ear. No, can't hear your stomach. Um, but, like, fully, I know Adam Sandler's nice. I didn't ask for a picture. I said, you know what? Seeing Adam Sandler and hearing him riff is enough.

• 13:58Connor Wood?

  And it was for me. I feel fulfilled. My-

• 14:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I would imagine that's enough.

• 14:03Connor Wood?

  My heart and cup are overflowing. Um, and it felt good. Additionally, I was at a bar on Saturday night, kind of, like 8, 8:00 PM. It's raining. Um, I'm sa- I'm standing in the back, and then I notice everybody's staring at me. And I'm like, okay, you guys, like, I'm just like you.

• 14:26Brooke Averick?

  Just a person.

• 14:27Connor Wood?

  I'm just like you guys, okay? Like-

• 14:30Brooke Averick?

  Podcasters are people too.

• 14:32Connor Wood?

  Come on, you guys. Come on, treat me like a person. And I'm like, y'all still sell beer here? No. And I'm like, okay, this is like getting out of hand. Um, and then Jake, buddy, kicks me from under the table and goes, Jason Momoa is like sitting of, like, inches from your back. Cause there was like two stools behind me that like, we didn't even bother sitting in, cause it's not even a table. It's like two stools. I, Jason Momoa, you know, he's so tiny and, and slim. He's, he slipped right in and threw me and passed me and was just right behind me for the evening. Uh, he was like, genuinely-

• 15:15Connor Wood?

  Like breathtaking. I don't know how else to say it. Like the biggest man I've ever seen in my life.

• 15:19Brooke Averick?

  I would love to stand next to him.

• 15:21Connor Wood?

  I think I genuinely think he could eat a smart car. Like if he if he had a whole day.

• 15:26Brooke Averick?

  How tall is he? Or is it more just like also like just like the bulk?

• 15:31Connor Wood?

  It's the it's the bulk. And if he wasn't Jason Momoa, I would actually be like, wow, that guy has a beer belly. But I know it wasn't a beer belly. I know it was like one solid.

• 15:38Brooke Averick?

  Like a rock?

• 15:40Connor Wood?

  Piece of concrete. But it was just like kind of breathtaking.

• 15:45Brooke Averick?

  He's only six four.

• 15:47Connor Wood?

  Oh, the way he carries himself is very much six five.

• 15:49Brooke Averick?

  Uh huh. Really?

• 15:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and he's about six foot four feet wide, too.

• 15:54Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 15:56Connor Wood?

  Yeah, he's got arms and arms genuinely like the size of my my chest piece.

• 16:01Brooke Averick?

  I'd like to see him one day.

• 16:03Connor Wood?

  When he checked out?

• 16:03Brooke Averick?

  And in a way, I already have.

• 16:05Connor Wood?

  When he checked out, Apple Pay, tap this phone. I was like, Jason Momoa uses Apple Pay? Wow. They are just like us.

• 16:13Brooke Averick?

  They are just like us.

• 16:16Connor Wood?

  I can't stop tapping. I'm like an Apple Pay freak.

• 16:19Brooke Averick?

  No, I am too. I love Apple Pay. I love convenience. It's always been one of my favorite things.

• 16:25Connor Wood?

  It broke you and me both and speak of the speak of the devil.

• 16:27Brooke Averick?

  But you would not do something that you would not hire someone to do something that you could do yourself.

• 16:33Connor Wood?

  That I can do myself, except I have to admit something to you. I did GoPuff Ice this weekend.

• 16:37Brooke Averick?

  I've always been the biggest proponent of GoPuffing Ice.

• 16:40Connor Wood?

  Well, I could go like here. I can I can genuinely walk outside. But there was like a group at a house and I didn't know where we were. And I was like, can I just like call an ice or like 100% you can call an ice? And I feel like a piece of ass doing that. But I was kind of the glue between the two groups. And I was like, I feel like me being middleman here is more important, like me maintaining a middle table persona here, a middler persona between these two groups.

• 17:10Brooke Averick?

  But you couldn't leave.

• 17:12Connor Wood?

  And choreographing and and being the liaison between these these two groups of young men and women. It was more valuable for me. Actually, less selfish of me in the grand scheme of things for To Go Puff Ice. And I'm, I'm kind of supporting gig workers in the same vein.

• 17:30Brooke Averick?

  Gay workers?

• 17:32Connor Wood?

  He, they may, this person may have been gay.

• 17:35Brooke Averick?

  But what did you say?

• 17:36Connor Wood?

  I said ally.

• 17:37Brooke Averick?

  No, what did, you're supporting what workers?

• 17:40Connor Wood?

  Gig, G I G, gig.

• 17:42Brooke Averick?

  What is that?

• 17:43Connor Wood?

  Why are you gig?

• 17:45Brooke Averick?

  People who have gigs?

• 17:47Connor Wood?

  Gig, working, the gig working economy is like.

• 17:50Brooke Averick?

  Like Uber, okay, I understand. I've never, I've never heard that term.

• 17:55Connor Wood?

  Gig workers. Now it sounds like a slur.

• 17:57Brooke Averick?

  I completely slurred up.

• 18:00Connor Wood?

  Completely like.

• 18:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:02Connor Wood?

  Like, don't shame gig working.

• 18:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Ooh, I, I, it's heavy on the ears.

• 18:07Connor Wood?

  Hard G is kind of not, not sitting right.

• 18:09Brooke Averick?

  It's not, it's not resonating with my eardrums.

• 18:13Connor Wood?

  Um, I'm trying to think of what happened in between last week and this week. I officially have my apartment. I think I said that, but I signed my lease on Saturday morning, like, signed, sealed, delivered. And then obviously, um, I went and got coffee with Veronica yesterday. Veronica is cool.

• 18:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, love her.

• 18:31Connor Wood?

  And he was like, hey, like, random question, but like, why didn't you wait three months till you're done with tour to sign a lease on an apartment?

• 18:39Brooke Averick?

  I mean, yeah, she, it is a great question and it's an honest one.

• 18:43Connor Wood?

  And it's, and it's truthful.

• 18:45Brooke Averick?

  Sometimes I think that you, oh, this is all love, like, from, from a sister to a brother. Think of like, the hardest way to do something and then do it that way.

• 18:58Connor Wood?

  And I think that all must come from somewhere.

• 19:01Brooke Averick?

  It's got to. You're like, how could I make this the most difficult for myself where I have to jump through like, as many hoops as humanly possible and then some? I'll, I'll take that. Check.

• 19:13Connor Wood?

  I'll take that route and then also.

• 19:14Brooke Averick?

  And the check.

• 19:15Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's, it's like, okay, let me move out by myself and then I move it to a storage unit, you know, all my stuff's in a storage unit. Who's gonna get it from the storage unit?

• 19:23Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 19:25Connor Wood?

  Who is gonna get it? If anyone says a word about me wearing the same thing every day for the next three months.

• 19:30Brooke Averick?

  You know, they're about to start.

• 19:31Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna do anything about it, but just know that I have hate in my heart for you.

• 19:34Brooke Averick?

  They're about to start.

• 19:34Connor Wood?

  I am going to be, I've been living out of a suitcase since I got here. I'll continue to live out of a suitcase.

• 19:39Brooke Averick?

  I need an entire new wardrobe.

• 19:42Connor Wood?

  My sweaty tits will just be ruining every, every tee and, and knitted, knitted vest I own.

• 19:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Damn, sorry about your sweaty tits.

• 19:51Connor Wood?

  No, it's okay. It's just like an unbelievable situation I'm going through over here right now. And I didn't, I've never sweat this much like in this crevice before.

• 19:59Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm. Well, like, welcome to being a woman.

• 20:04Connor Wood?

  Are you sweating in between your?

• 20:05Brooke Averick?

  Always.

• 20:06Connor Wood?

  Your units?

• 20:07Brooke Averick?

  Always.

• 20:08Connor Wood?

  Constantly?

• 20:08Brooke Averick?

  I'm always doing in-between unit sweat.

• 20:11Connor Wood?

  I am-

• 20:12Brooke Averick?

  Boob sweat.

• 20:13Connor Wood?

  It's, well, it's like genuinely, oh, I thought boob sweat was like under the boob.

• 20:16Brooke Averick?

  It could be anywhere. It honestly depends on the shape of your boobs.

• 20:20Connor Wood?

  I don't really have a shape of my boobs. They're just part of my chest, which is why I'm so curious about the placement of the sweat. It's running right in between my-

• 20:26Brooke Averick?

  I feel like smaller boobs, smaller chested women like you and I, it might rip it down the middle. More so.

• 20:34Connor Wood?

  Well, maybe I need to build out my chest a little bit more so that I can disperse more evenly my beads of sweat. Because right now, it feels like there's a water fountain coming and it's just, it's just-

• 20:45Brooke Averick?

  Take your wool sweater off.

• 20:48Connor Wood?

  I'm just gonna look really washed out because I've never been more pale in my life. And I think I'd rather have this cream sweater on, kind of giving me a little bit of a glow.

• 20:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I need to, I need to use my tanning drops.

• 20:59Connor Wood?

  That post pneumonia glow that everyone talks about.

• 21:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 22:03Brooke Averick?

  I had to say something.

• 22:05Connor Wood?

  Well, hit me, yeah.

• 22:06Brooke Averick?

  I definitely had to say something.

• 22:09Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 22:11Brooke Averick?

  And, and that's where I'll start. Oh. I actually, like, in between all of the, um, mean comments from last week, people were so supportive, and I had thought that I was gonna get pushed back for being so upset about my tooth, because like, in the grand scheme of things, not a huge deal. People were so supportive of my tooth, and made me feel so much better. Truly, I had gone from like, the trenches of despair, and now I feel like, so validated, because people were really validating that it is challenging to, to have a really large space in your teeth. And, a lot of people had suggested that I just start eating with my Imbizoline in, which I really appreciated,

• 22:53Brooke Averick?

  because I was already doing that and felt gross, so I really appreciated you guys also validating that. Um, I mean, thank you so much. There are so many people that have experienced this very thing, which sometimes that's all you need to hear, is just like, I've been through this too.

• 23:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 23:08Brooke Averick?

  And you will come out the other side. So, I want to thank you all so much for seeing me in that regard. Already feeling so much better. I have my orthodontist appointment right after this to kind of get those official aligners to begin closing that space and start that process, so, I'm really excited about that, and just I wanted to thank everyone for that. You made me feel so much better.

• 23:29Connor Wood?

  That's really sweet.

• 23:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I was feeling great.

• 23:32Connor Wood?

  And honest and truthful.

• 23:34Brooke Averick?

  And then, so that was one good thing that happened last week, and then something remarkable happened as well.

• 23:41Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 23:43Brooke Averick?

  I went to Laguna Beach

• 23:45Connor Wood?

  I saw that.

• 23:45Brooke Averick?

  over the weekend. Because I had never really been, I think I went once with you, but like, we didn't like, walk around or anything.

• 23:53Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 23:53Brooke Averick?

  I think we were just in the space. Um, but we were walking around and there was this like, secondhand store that we walked into, and in the front, it was like an art supply store. In the front, there was this like, basket of Beanie Babies.

• 24:10Brooke Averick?

  And one caught my eye. I mean, I have tears in my eyes just thinking about this. Freckles. Connor. Freckles was a meanie baby that I had had before Hodgepodge. And I had lost him. And complete devastation. Hodgepodge, who you guys know, I have a tattoo of Hodgepodge. He's, you know, he's one of my, he's my son. Freckles was my first born and I lost him. And Hodgepodge has been the most incredible, I don't want to say replacement, because he's not a replacement.

• 24:38Connor Wood?

  Support system.

• 24:39Brooke Averick?

  Incredible support system after the loss of Freckles. Um, Freckles was sitting in that basket. In that secondhand store, probably not the Freckles that I had lost, but a Freckles nonetheless. It could have been my very Freckles. But I have thought about Freckles so much over the years and it just never felt right to like go on eBay and get a Freckles. You know, that didn't feel meaningful in any way. It's just like Freckles is gone and you have to accept that. But seeing Freckles in this space, I mean, hysterics seeing him. It was like reuniting with like someone I haven't seen in truly 25 years.

• 25:18Connor Wood?

  Someone you used to pick apples with in Papa's orchard.

• 25:20Brooke Averick?

  And to think he was only five USD, I would have paid unlimited.

• 25:26Connor Wood?

  Hey, there are cathedrals everywhere with the, for those with the eyes to see.

• 25:31Brooke Averick?

  So Freckles came home with me, which is exciting. And to see him and Hodgepodge next to each other. It's like, it meant the world as a mother.

• 25:40Connor Wood?

  It's really sweet.

• 25:41Brooke Averick?

  How many stuffed animals do you think is too many to have in my bed right now?

• 25:47Brooke Averick?

  Not including, not including you for the, my, you know who, scoreful. My Scandinavian bear, because he's more of a pillow.

• 25:58Connor Wood?

  That's more pillow piece. I don't know, six? What are you working with, like 27 or eight?

• 26:05Brooke Averick?

  Uh, I would say six.

• 26:08Connor Wood?

  Six.

• 26:09Brooke Averick?

  I was saying, Sam, I'm about to hit the threshold.

• 26:11Connor Wood?

  I know. We should, we should be careful because we don't need another case of me wearing wired headphones and being accused of appropriating autistic culture by having 50 stuffed, like, that was a stuffed animal conversation.

• 26:23Brooke Averick?

  I have no, that's not something that I, I fear.

• 26:27Connor Wood?

  Okay, I saw something.

• 26:28Brooke Averick?

  Cause that is something that you can just say, that is so ridiculous that I'm going to just walk past that.

• 26:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 26:34Brooke Averick?

  And never look back.

• 26:35Connor Wood?

  That was like genuinely one of the funniest comments I've ever seen.

• 26:39Brooke Averick?

  You can just laugh at something like that, I think.

• 26:41Connor Wood?

  A lot of times I'm like, oh crap, am I, that one, I was like, wha- what? But, um, I saw that conversation around the Squishmallows. Um, someone saying that they couldn't, there's a shortage now because.

• 26:53Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well, I'm not doing Squishmallows.

• 26:55Connor Wood?

  Just talking out my ass. There's such an amazing amount of noises happening, but I'm gonna ignore them.

• 27:00Brooke Averick?

  You have to ignore them.

• 27:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm gonna ignore them.

• 27:03Brooke Averick?

  You have to. I can tell you, if you were sitting here, my stomach would be just as distracting.

• 27:08Connor Wood?

  That's, that's awesome that together, where like your contacts and your prescription sunglasses, it cancels out.

• 27:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 27:15Connor Wood?

  As long as we're, as long, as long as we're locked in together. Um.

• 27:20Brooke Averick?

  Nice callback.

• 27:21Connor Wood?

  You're coming here next week, right?

• 27:24Brooke Averick?

  I'm coming there next week for literally, well, here's, y'all know I don't like traveling like in the slightest. Friday, I leave for Indiana to go to the Frats.

• 27:35Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God.

• 27:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I'm doing Kappa this weekend.

• 27:40Brooke Averick?

  For mom's weekend.

• 27:41Connor Wood?

  You're rushing, you're dirty rushing.

• 27:43Brooke Averick?

  I am like full on dirty rushing and Connor, it's negative one degree.

• 27:50Connor Wood?

  Um, no.

• 27:53Brooke Averick?

  I swear.

• 27:53Connor Wood?

  I mean, there's no way, like, all those parties are outside.

• 27:58Brooke Averick?

  They are outside. And get this, Gabby says, you can't wear your puffer, cause there's not space.

• 28:06Connor Wood?

  I believe her.

• 28:08Brooke Averick?

  I said, I don't give a shit if there's not space. I'm wearing my puffer.

• 28:13Connor Wood?

  I think your argument and, and Gabby's argument should be, we're, you guys are both like half of the size of a person.

• 28:18Brooke Averick?

  I will freeze and break apart.

• 28:22Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 28:22Brooke Averick?

  Like an icicle. I'm wearing the puffer at Kappa.

• 28:26Connor Wood?

  Well.

• 28:27Brooke Averick?

  POV, you're wearing a puffer at Kappa. That is me this weekend.

• 28:32Connor Wood?

  Get ready with me to wear a puffer.

• 28:33Brooke Averick?

  Get ready GRWM to wear a puffer at Kappa outside if it's one degree Fahrenheit.

• 28:39Connor Wood?

  Is it? What?

• 28:41Brooke Averick?

  Fahrenheit.

• 28:42Connor Wood?

  Who's going with you?

• 28:43Brooke Averick?

  Channing, who has actually decided not to do a pair of, a signature pair of wedges for Kappa due to the open-toed nature of them.

• 28:50Connor Wood?

  Maybe she could get a closed-toe wedge.

• 28:52Brooke Averick?

  It's too late, we're leaving.

• 28:54Connor Wood?

  You're leaving Friday.

• 28:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's Wednesday. Yeah, I don't know, I think the wedges, it's just a big process. I can't even be and understand her creative genius behind that. But, yes, doing Mom's Weekend.

• 29:09Connor Wood?

  Okay, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna text Channing separately and ask her to please vlog because...

• 29:13Brooke Averick?

  She is vlogging, she is vlogging.

• 29:15Connor Wood?

  Good.

• 29:16Brooke Averick?

  I am worried, I'm just like...

• 29:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's just interesting to me that people, they'll be, they're all, they're all like 20, you know?

• 29:25Connor Wood?

  I mean, as someone...

• 29:25Brooke Averick?

  It feels, obviously you drink at college underage, that's just a fact of life. It feels wrong for me to be enabling it, it feels like I'm enabling it if I'm at the frat. I will say my dad had no problem at Father's Weekend.

• 29:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 29:40Brooke Averick?

  But I feel a little guilty. Is that weird?

• 29:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's weird.

• 29:45Brooke Averick?

  Okay. I'll brush past it.

• 29:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah, you should just go and... Like, you didn't have that college experience at all, so I feel like just like, go and like, hang dong.

• 29:56Brooke Averick?

  I didn't go to one hang dong.

• 30:00Connor Wood?

  I meant like, I meant like, I meant like, rock out with your cock out, but like, hang dong was like a little bit too...

• 30:05Brooke Averick?

  A little bit too, it was a little bit too.

• 30:07Connor Wood?

  Well, I was gonna say, I was, I was gonna say hang sweaty tits, but I was like, no, I shouldn't say that, like, I should, I should say hang dong.

• 30:13Brooke Averick?

  Hang dong is better.

• 30:15Connor Wood?

  Don't drop your clit, you know?

• 30:17Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 30:17Connor Wood?

  At, at Kappa. Okay?

• 30:20Brooke Averick?

  I'm like so scared, I'm gonna leave my clit at Kappa.

• 30:23Connor Wood?

  No, Brooke, you really need to keep track of your clit while you're at Kappa and make sure to use it.

• 30:27Brooke Averick?

  Channing, I know Channing's gonna lose hers. Honestly, I'm worried about that.

• 30:30Connor Wood?

  No, you need to, she's gonna say, "Nobody move, I just dropped my clit."

• 30:34Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure she will.

• 30:35Connor Wood?

  And you're gonna, between your cut-

• 30:37Brooke Averick?

  Like, imagine, Channing said she's gonna do, Gabby has some, I hope she doesn't mind me sharing, and if she does, I feel horrible, Gabby.

• 30:46Brooke Averick?

  No, I wouldn't say exes, but exes, for the sake of it, that we will be, that they're at the frat, that we will be doing. I don't understand how it works, at all, but I think it's like, it's her sorority and this frat, and that's our-

• 31:00Connor Wood?

  It's like a mixer.

• 31:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, of sorts, and that is the community that we'll be a part of, and Channing's already talking about doing like one-on-ones with those who have scorned Gabby.

• 31:09Connor Wood?

  Cool.

• 31:10Brooke Averick?

  Like, I don't think that'll necessarily help Gabby.

• 31:15Connor Wood?

  No.

• 31:15Brooke Averick?

  But I'm excited to see it happen, nonetheless.

• 31:19Connor Wood?

  I'm, I'm jealous from a distance.

• 31:22Brooke Averick?

  From a distance.

• 31:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 31:24Brooke Averick?

  Alexa's also coming too, which is great. Alexa is like such, just like the person you want on sight in moments of chaos.

• 31:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 31:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 31:36Connor Wood?

  Mom vibes.

• 31:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Um, and obviously, my, my mom has, did I tell you my mom moved to Indiana?

• 31:44Connor Wood?

  Nope.

• 31:44Brooke Averick?

  Why, because why not?

• 31:46Connor Wood?

  I feel like my favorite comment ever is gonna be like, "I love when Brooke Loki shades her mom." Like, that's gonna be, like, that's gonna go down in my favorite comment.

• 31:53Brooke Averick?

  I feel bad. I feel bad. Anyway, yeah, but my mom has actually moved to Indiana temporarily. I'm not sure what her end goal is, but she is 15 minutes away from, from, uh, Indy, from the university.

• 32:12Connor Wood?

  IU.

• 32:12Brooke Averick?

  IU, yeah, that's what it's called, and will not be attending Mom's Weekend. It's not her scene, so, which, which does make sense.

• 32:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that would definitely leave her feeling uncentered, I fear.

• 32:25Brooke Averick?

  I feel, I fear it would knock or shock her right, right off.

• 32:29Connor Wood?

  It would knock her chakra. Oh, her chakra.

• 32:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So it's just easier for me to fly there.

• 32:35Connor Wood?

  Oh, are you mama bear this weekend?

• 32:37Brooke Averick?

  That's what I'm saying. I'm, Gabby's doing three moms this weekend. None of which are her birth mom.

• 32:42Connor Wood?

  Okay, I like, I really miss the connection. I really thought, oh, Brooke, it's gonna be so much more fun going there for Parents Weekend or Moms Weekend. Cause there's gonna be like a lot of moms there and the moms are fun. They're like there to like hang dong.

• 32:55Brooke Averick?

  I'm like worried about the moms hanging dong.

• 32:58Connor Wood?

  No.

• 32:58Brooke Averick?

  I don't know who I'm more scared of, the 20 year olds or the moms.

• 33:01Connor Wood?

  The moms are gonna be like, oh, like I shouldn't do the ice, I shouldn't take a shot, but okay, like for my daughter, they're fun. It's like, it's fun. You're gonna have a blast.

• 33:12Brooke Averick?

  I am, I do, I do think, hey, at the very least, there will be some, some stories to, to share.

• 33:19Connor Wood?

  At the end of the day, that's all we can ask.

• 33:21Brooke Averick?

  But yeah, I'm going to college this weekend.

• 33:24Brooke Averick?

  And then I come back on Sunday and then leave Wednesday for New York, which is my fastest turnaround ever for a trip.

• 33:35Connor Wood?

  Wait, you're gonna go back to LA?

• 33:38Brooke Averick?

  I am, because I like, just like, two nights with Jonathan, Sunday night, Monday, three nights with Jonathan is worth it to me.

• 33:45Connor Wood?

  Wow, that's incredible.

• 33:46Brooke Averick?

  I like the, leaving him is like, it's almost impossible to bear.

• 33:51Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 33:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's tough.

• 33:55Brooke Averick?

  But yeah, then I'm coming to New York for an event just for two days.

• 33:58Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 33:59Brooke Averick?

  But tell everyone what we're doing.

• 34:02Connor Wood?

  We're gonna go, so, um, we're going to see Little Shop of Horrors.

• 34:09Connor Wood?

  And what's funny is our friend Milo M., he's in it.

• 34:14Brooke Averick?

  Well, I don't know, I don't know Milo yet, but I'm excited, I'm excited to, to see him.

• 34:19Connor Wood?

  We're gonna go see him on B-way, well, off B-way, and then I got tickets too late, so I'm about 17 seats down the row from Catherine and Brooke. So, but I'm cool doing stuff by myself.

• 34:30Brooke Averick?

  He's gonna be so good, I think.

• 34:32Connor Wood?

  One thing about me, I can do things by myself.

• 34:34Brooke Averick?

  And Liz Gillies too, do you know who she is?

• 34:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 34:36Brooke Averick?

  Like, I think they're gonna be so good. I'm so excited. Connor, this is the perfect. Show for you. It's like Wicked and Little Shop are the shows that I would recommend to people who like are just dipping their toes into the Broadway space.

• 34:50Connor Wood?

  I'm ready to put my whole foot in this bitch.

• 34:51Brooke Averick?

  I like, I think you're gonna end up by the end of Little Shop, your leg will be in the space. Maybe both.

• 34:57Connor Wood?

  Whoa, up to my knee or what are we doing?

• 34:59Brooke Averick?

  No, I was thinking like your thigh tattoo will be covered.

• 35:02Connor Wood?

  So my tit sweat has moved to my palms and I kid you not, there's a drop of sweat like falling off.

• 35:06Brooke Averick?

  Are you having a panic attack?

• 35:07Connor Wood?

  I don't know. Oh, but speaking of, sorry to switch off B-way so fast.

• 35:11Brooke Averick?

  No, that's okay. I'm just really excited for you to see that and I'm excited to see it.

• 35:15Connor Wood?

  I have a trial course with a therapist. Isn't that crazy?

• 35:22Brooke Averick?

  Are you serious?

• 35:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah, get ready for the most annoying person you've ever met come like two weeks from now.

• 35:28Brooke Averick?

  I am so happy for you. How did this come about?

• 35:31Connor Wood?

  Um, I was actually with Hunter yesterday and he was like, right now, pull out your phone and email that therapist. I want to watch you press send.

• 35:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 35:39Connor Wood?

  And I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. And then I was like, I don't want to. And he's like, do it right now. Push send. Hunter's leaving right now, the apartment.

• 35:45Brooke Averick?

  Bye Hunter, love you.

• 35:47Connor Wood?

  And he said, love you.

• 35:49Brooke Averick?

  Thank you.

• 35:50Connor Wood?

  Um, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. I pressed send and then she got back today. I was like, oh yeah, I actually have one available spot, like one more client that I can take on. So I'm gonna do like 15 to 20 minute trial, see what I need, she said.

• 36:03Brooke Averick?

  Uh huh.

• 36:05Brooke Averick?

  That's great.

• 36:05Connor Wood?

  I haven't had a therapist be like, I don't, I can't do that.

• 36:08Brooke Averick?

  That's fine. That's better they tell you that then, but I'm so happy.

• 36:13Connor Wood?

  Thanks. Well, the last one was like 60 something years old. So I was like, I don't think we'd be a good match anyway, and I don't want to fight you, you know, cause.

• 36:20Brooke Averick?

  That's what, yeah, I don't know. You'll see, you'll see.

• 36:24Connor Wood?

  Speaking of fight, I want to tell you this.

• 36:27Brooke Averick?

  Wait, when is your first, when is the call?

• 36:29Connor Wood?

  Um, I didn't respond to her email for availability yet.

• 36:32Brooke Averick?

  Right now, open your phone. I want to watch you press send.

• 36:34Connor Wood?

  My notes are.

• 36:35Brooke Averick?

  Show me how you press send.

• 36:37Connor Wood?

  Okay, I'll do it right now. Gonna respond. Okay.

• 36:42Brooke Averick?

  Let's, let's aim for this week.

• 36:44Connor Wood?

  See me availability for this week and next so we can find a time that I feel like I shouldn't. I feel like I shouldn't do this one here because I gotta look at my calendar and go back to.

• 36:52Brooke Averick?

  All right, I'm gonna text you then, make sure you do it.

• 36:54Connor Wood?

  Okay, I'll send you a screenshot.

• 36:56Brooke Averick?

  Okay, yeah, send me screenshot.

• 36:57Connor Wood?

  But I tell you about this thing that happened this weekend.

• 37:00Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 37:00Connor Wood?

  So also Saturday after me and Mr. Momoa had parted ways, talk about tit sweat, imagine his tit sweat if he's if he's worked up. We go to a secondary location that was right near where I'm staying and.

• 37:15Brooke Averick?

  Secondary location?

• 37:17Connor Wood?

  A secondary locate, the second location to get a drink.

• 37:21Brooke Averick?

  What does that have to do with dairy?

• 37:23Connor Wood?

  Secondary location, secondary.

• 37:24Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

• 37:28Brooke Averick?

  I'm sorry.

• 37:29Connor Wood?

  I know that was my enunciation.

• 37:31Brooke Averick?

  But I, and I'm one for, I'm usually an advocate for enunciating. That was, that was my bad. That was my bad.

• 37:38Connor Wood?

  It's just like classic, like flick of the wrist.

• 37:44Brooke Averick?

  That's a classic flick of the wrist situation.

• 37:46Connor Wood?

  I was gonna say flick of the tongue. What am I thinking of?

• 37:49Brooke Averick?

  Slip of the tongue?

• 37:51Connor Wood?

  What is it?

• 37:52Brooke Averick?

  Slip of the tongue?

• 37:53Connor Wood?

  Slip of the tongue, not flip of the tongue. That's a weekend song.

• 37:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah, slip of the wrist. Yeah, something like that. Okay. So we go to this, this bar and I go, there's a downstairs restroom, which like Brett, it was so spot on with his video the other day. He said, like, why are restrooms downstairs all of a sudden?

• 38:13Brooke Averick?

  It's embarrassing. It's like a, like, it's a walk of shame of sorts.

• 38:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah, let me go drain my dragon down this in the basement, you know, like, please just leave me upstairs.

• 38:24Connor Wood?

  Like, I'm below sea level to go to the restroom. I'd rather go home. But so I go downstairs and I'm in the, in the urinal space. And I hear these two guys at the sink and they're talking in Irish. And I was like, oh, my gosh, are you guys Irish? And they're like, no, it was Scottish, like, or something. And I was like, oh, okay. And. Like, okay, my bad, whatever. I was, I was gonna be like, oh, I was just, and they're like, no, duh, we're Irish, like, we're Irish. And I was like, oh, cool. I was just, I was just in Ireland for a while. I was like, not catching their sarcasm. I don't think Irish people are sarcastic. So it was just like, very dry.

• 39:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 39:01Connor Wood?

  And I was like, oh, okay, well, I was just there. Like, I was in this place and this place. And they're like, oh, we're from, we're from Galway. And I was like, very cool. And then like, it switched and it was like, very aggressive towards me. And I was like, I caught it. And I was like, okay. Like, I just need to get out of the downstairs bathroom. And an older gentleman comes in, in like, a suit. And the dude, the one dude, the one Irish dude, start like, puts his chest out to like, fight this old.

• 39:25Brooke Averick?

  They were ready.

• 39:26Connor Wood?

  This old man. And I go, okay, easy, easy, easy, easy. This, the old man's like, he's not an old man. He's probably in his 50s. He was like, I'm just trying to pee, whatever. And I was like, no, you're good. Like, I don't know. So I go upstairs. And the Irish dude, after I was like, hey, don't touch this, this, this gentleman, was just staring at me as I left. And I was like, oh, crap. I go upstairs and I tell the group that I was with, I was like, I swear, like, keep an eye behind me. Because there's a dude downstairs that's just like, looking for a fight.

• 39:55Connor Wood?

  And we're talking, talking, talking. And then all of a sudden, Aiden, who I don't know if you've met Aiden.

• 39:59Brooke Averick?

  Mm-mm. I haven't met any of your New York community.

• 40:02Connor Wood?

  Okay. Well, you will next week. We'll grab supper.

• 40:05Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 40:05Connor Wood?

  So we're.

• 40:07Brooke Averick?

  No, I can't do supper. I'm, I'm missing a tooth.

• 40:11Connor Wood?

  Oh, we'll do.

• 40:12Brooke Averick?

  We'll have to do drinks.

• 40:14Connor Wood?

  We'll do, um, we'll do.

• 40:16Brooke Averick?

  We will have to do Invisalign on Hangout.

• 40:20Connor Wood?

  We'll do non-sexual tantalizing intercourse.

• 40:24Brooke Averick?

  Tantric, tantric.

• 40:25Connor Wood?

  Tantric intercourse.

• 40:27Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 40:27Connor Wood?

  We'll just stare at each other and.

• 40:29Brooke Averick?

  I would literally rather do tantric intercourse with someone than eat in front of them right now.

• 40:35Connor Wood?

  I would rather do tantric intercourse with someone than.

• 40:41Connor Wood?

  Like go and do this therapy, first therapy session.

• 40:43Brooke Averick?

  No. But you're gonna?

• 40:46Connor Wood?

  I can do tantric intercourse with my therapist.

• 40:49Brooke Averick?

  Are you gonna be honest with your therapist?

• 40:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm gonna be really shy, but I'll be honest.

• 40:54Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 40:55Connor Wood?

  Anyways, all of a sudden Aiden pushes past me, like quickly, and I'm like, what the hell? These two are scrapping. The guy came up and was gonna hit me in the back of the head from downstairs. And in two seconds-

• 41:06Brooke Averick?

  He was gonna hit you in the back of the head?

• 41:08Connor Wood?

  In two, well, cuz he was, he was like, wound up, ready to sock me in my head.

• 41:14Brooke Averick?

  Wait, and Aiden swooped in?

• 41:16Connor Wood?

  Swooped in, grabbed him. In two seconds, the bouncer has Aiden in a headlock. I grabbed the dude that was trying to hit me cuz now his new prime target is Aiden, who's in a headlock on the ground. And then the server's over there, and I had just helped the server find this like drunk girl's phone, and so like, we were tight. And I'm like, we're gonna leave, we're gonna leave like that. And the bouncer comes out and the manager comes out, and I was like, that dude, I swear to God, that was not Aiden. He was downstairs looking for a fight. He tried to fight an old man, and they go, we know, we know. We know him. Like, we know it's not your fault. And I was like, what the hell? They were like, he's the owner of the bar. He fights everybody. He fights everybody at the bar.

• 41:53Brooke Averick?

  Do you wanna give us the name of the bar, or not really?

• 41:55Connor Wood?

  No, I can't, because I really enjoy it, and I'm gonna have to wear a disguise next time I go back, and it's very close to where I'm staying. But, oh my gosh, it was just like, wait.

• 42:06Connor Wood?

  He didn't get kicked out. I was like, why is he still in there? Why are we like-

• 42:09Brooke Averick?

  Did you leave?

• 42:10Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I was like, we're gonna leave anyways, but like, why don't you take care of him cuz he's gonna fight some other bar patrons? And they were like, he owns the bar. Wah wah.

• 42:19Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 42:20Connor Wood?

  Ooh, I hope no one saw the absolute bubble that was just formed on my right nostril, but-

• 42:25Brooke Averick?

  No, that's a good thing about Zoom.

• 42:27Connor Wood?

  Very cool.

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• 44:00Connor Wood?

  So that was something that I've never been in a bar fight. I've broken up bar fights, but I've never been... It was really exhilarating.

• 44:07Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 44:08Connor Wood?

  By everybody on the way out with my coat being like, "We're out of here." You know, like, "You don't even want to be here." And like, everyone's looking like, "Whoa, they got in a bar fight." And like, obviously, like, I didn't throw one punch. I was about to get and probably knocked the fuck out.

• 44:26Connor Wood?

  And my buff friend like had to step in and intercept this person. But I was like, "Whoa, that felt like really good." You know?

• 44:33Brooke Averick?

  Wow, Connor, that is cool.

• 44:35Connor Wood?

  I never want it, I'd never want it to happen again because I don't think that the outcome would be the same at all. But it was cool like to have that experience.

• 44:44Brooke Averick?

  I would like to be in a bar-adjacent fight.

• 44:50Brooke Averick?

  One day, one of these days.

• 44:52Connor Wood?

  I mean, it all just happens in the blink of an eye.

• 44:54Brooke Averick?

  It all happened so fast. That's the thing. It all happened so fast.

• 44:58Connor Wood?

  I mean, it had to be in like, it all had to happen in under like 10 seconds. I'm not kidding.

• 45:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 45:03Connor Wood?

  The first punch, headlock, whatever.

• 45:06Brooke Averick?

  Damn Connor.

• 45:07Connor Wood?

  Anyways, that's like all the updates I have on my end. Um, I am excited to say that I've, I've started wearing underwear again out of necessity because I absolutely, like have to wear underwear here.

• 45:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 45:19Connor Wood?

  And so my skims have been getting like a lot of use out of them and I'm, I heart skims.

• 45:24Brooke Averick?

  I heart skims too. I'm wearing my skims today too.

• 45:27Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. It, they're so awesome. Um, and I'm wearing briefs, skims, briefs.

• 45:33Brooke Averick?

  Now, remind me, briefs are the length of boxers but tight?

• 45:38Connor Wood?

  They're not super tight, like they're not compression shorts, which is what you wear to run.

• 45:42Brooke Averick?

  But they're not loose boxers.

• 45:44Connor Wood?

  But they're not loose boxers.

• 45:45Brooke Averick?

  They're tighter, like they're form fitting.

• 45:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Like the funny thing about boxers, they're so loose, but when you put on a pair of pants, they're a thong. They go in between your cheeks and up your ass. Cause they, they pulled up, but briefs will stay put.

• 45:59Brooke Averick?

  Want to hear something horrible?

• 46:01Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 46:01Brooke Averick?

  Uh, last time I was home in Florida, I forgot pajamas. So I was like, oh, like, maybe this is actually weird to say, but I was like, oh, I'll just take a pair of Pop Pop's boxers. Is it weird to take a pair of your grandpa's boxers?

• 46:16Connor Wood?

  No.

• 46:17Brooke Averick?

  Okay. So I was like, oh, I'll just take a pair of Pop Pop's boxers, put them on. Briefs on, on my, on my form.

• 46:25Connor Wood?

  That is, yeah, that's.

• 46:26Brooke Averick?

  Briefs on my form.

• 46:28Connor Wood?

  That's encroaching, um,

• 46:31Connor Wood?

  that's encroaching some territory that I don't think that.

• 46:33Brooke Averick?

  No, they were boxers.

• 46:36Brooke Averick?

  But on me, on my form, they were briefs.

• 46:39Connor Wood?

  They became briefs.

• 46:40Brooke Averick?

  They became, they transitioned lensed.

• 46:43Connor Wood?

  They were trans.

• 46:43Brooke Averick?

  From boxer on his body to brief on mine. Thank you.

• 46:47Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 46:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 46:48Connor Wood?

  Well, Pop Pop is a skinny legend. Um, so that's not.

• 46:52Brooke Averick?

  It's just like, it was almost like wow.

• 46:55Connor Wood?

  It was almost like a wow.

• 46:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well.

• 47:00Brooke Averick?

  Very cool.

• 47:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, yeah, that's encroaching on some territory that I don't think that you you would want to have been close to, body on body, speak.

• 47:11Brooke Averick?

  Well, it's not even that. It's just more of like the forms. It's a statement about the two forms, two different forms.

• 47:18Connor Wood?

  Well, OK, what are you gonna do?

• 47:21Brooke Averick?

  Nothing. That's the thing, Connor.

• 47:22Connor Wood?

  Up Up has a tight bod. Like, that's not, that has nothing to do with anybody. I need to get in, I don't, I think we've been yapping for a long time, and I have like some very timely things that I want to chat through with you.

• 47:34Brooke Averick?

  OK.

• 47:35Connor Wood?

  One, SNL 50.

• 47:36Brooke Averick?

  OK.

• 47:38Connor Wood?

  I know that we talked about it for a second.

• 47:39Brooke Averick?

  Briefly last night.

• 47:41Connor Wood?

  Briefly last night. There were several moments that I loved, not really any that had to do with any skits, is my, is my thing.

• 47:49Brooke Averick?

  I put it on like three separate times, and I kept just like getting distracted because they were all skits that I've seen a thousand trillion times just reenacted. So I just like saw everything on Twitter.

• 48:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I think all the highlights are what's important. It was the coolest, like, to me, that was like my award show. People that watch like award shows religiously and they're like, oh, my gosh, Met Gala. That was my Met Gala.

• 48:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 48:16Connor Wood?

  Was SNL 50. Like, it was the coolest thing I've ever seen, like, all of those specific people.

• 48:21Brooke Averick?

  It was great to see every, every, the gang back all together.

• 48:25Connor Wood?

  This is really cool.

• 48:26Brooke Averick?

  A fusion of gangs.

• 48:27Connor Wood?

  And there's like so many people that didn't get, like, Timothy Chalamet, I was shocked, didn't go, but they had the, like, the BAFTA British Awards, whatever. But like, everyone else, I was there, I was like, oh, this is very cool.

• 48:37Brooke Averick?

  I was really missing Bill. I know everyone was.

• 48:41Connor Wood?

  That was what I was, what is the issue, or what's the deal with Bill Hader not being there?

• 48:44Brooke Averick?

  I know, like, there's obviously, you know, what, what public speculation. You know how that happens.

• 48:50Connor Wood?

  I know one thing, or no, maybe, maybe he was wrong.

• 48:51Brooke Averick?

  You know one thing or two about public speculation.

• 48:53Connor Wood?

  Maybe he was inebriated.

• 48:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, he could have been inebriated.

• 48:56Connor Wood?

  He was probably inebriated, and that's why he couldn't make it.

• 48:58Brooke Averick?

  But on the other hand, he could have been, he could have been sick, he could have been tired. He, his reps just said he had a scheduling conflict, but I don't know, I was missing him. I'm, I miss him, I love him.

• 49:08Connor Wood?

  Like, I'm not gonna argue if his, if that's what his rap says, but like, that would be incredible to have a scheduling conflict that conflicted with, like, your whole upbringing.

• 49:17Brooke Averick?

  I don't know. Something was, someone came out and said, like, he doesn't have a good relationship with Lauren.

• 49:25Connor Wood?

  I've heard that.

• 49:25Brooke Averick?

  But I don't know.

• 49:27Connor Wood?

  Other things I loved, Julia Louis-Dreyfus needs to genuinely be president, not just in deep. Um, I think she's the funniest person on the planet. I think, did you see the, the skit with her and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler?

• 49:39Brooke Averick?

  I don't think I did.

• 49:40Connor Wood?

  It wasn't really a skit. Basically, they were going through, this is like my, probably my favorite part of the whole thing was Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

• 49:46Brooke Averick?

  Fully watch it.

• 49:47Connor Wood?

  Someone else had said this, but it was a kind of a weird thing for me to like, see this SNL 50 thing and be like, oh, wow, look at all these great people that have left the show, you know, like, it was like a celebration of 50 years, but it was also like, oh, wow, look at the, all those, the funniest parts of the show are like gone from the show. That's like, that's what I was thinking. I was like, oh, I miss when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell and all them were like doing the skits and Kristen Wiig. It's like, oh my gosh, that's what I used to watch.

• 50:15Brooke Averick?

  I do wonder, like, I look back at SNL in terms of like the cast and just like, wow, that era was the best, that era was the best, that era was the best.

• 50:25Brooke Averick?

  Like, I wonder if people will look back at like the recent SNL ever and be like, loved that era. Do you know what I mean?

• 50:36Connor Wood?

  It's impossible to say.

• 50:37Brooke Averick?

  I am genu-, I like wonder.

• 50:39Connor Wood?

  Um, well, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and she had the funniest like interaction with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They were like, and um, like Julia Louis-Dreyfus brought her, she, her, her service dog, that's her emotional support dog, whatever. And she's like, oh, no, no, I'm, I'm here for him. He's blind.

• 50:55Brooke Averick?

  What was she blind in?

• 50:58Connor Wood?

  Julia?

• 50:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 51:00Connor Wood?

  I don't know. A show? What do you mean?

• 51:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 51:03Connor Wood?

  A show?

• 51:04Brooke Averick?

  She was pretending to be blind in something.

• 51:08Connor Wood?

  Probably Seinfeld or V.

• 51:09Brooke Averick?

  Do you know what I'm talking about, Kenny?

• 51:10Connor Wood?

  I think Taylor knows.

• 51:11Brooke Averick?

  Arrested Development. Do you remember? Did you watch that?

• 51:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 51:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that was great.

• 51:16Connor Wood?

  That was.

• 51:16Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 51:18Connor Wood?

  Um, I have my, my stuff pulled up. One, Judd Apatow said if someone made The Hangover today, they would make a billion dollars and that's causing waves.

• 51:28Connor Wood?

  Did you see that?

• 51:29Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 51:30Connor Wood?

  I don't know what-

• 51:30Brooke Averick?

  Why is that causing waves?

• 51:31Connor Wood?

  Did you guys see that? Anyone else in the studio? Did you guys see that Judd Apatow had said like if someone made the Hangover today would make a billion dollars?

• 51:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, I saw that statement.

• 51:41Brooke Averick?

  Why is that?

• 51:42Connor Wood?

  What was the context of him saying that? Like, I think that because everyone's saying, no, if someone made The Hangover today, it would just go straight to Prime Video. And that was like a dig. What was, what was the

• 51:51Speaker 06

  Unfortunately, I do not know the context of it. I just saw the quote, but I can look it up for you.

• 51:57Connor Wood?

  I think he was saying like that the art of writing comedy like that has been lost. And if someone could like figure out a way to write that sort of comedy.

• 52:04Brooke Averick?

  Could he not?

• 52:05Connor Wood?

  I mean, that, yeah, that's what I was saying. Also, he was posting a ton of photos of him like with all these people like, oh, when Kenan Thompson was on, um, I think that movie that about the fat camp. What was that? Like Kenan Thompson was legitimately 12 and Judd Apatow looks the same age and he, that he does now.

• 52:25Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 52:26Connor Wood?

  And like Kenan Thompson is like 40s?

• 52:28Brooke Averick?

  He might even be 50s now.

• 52:31Connor Wood?

  Teenan?

• 52:31Brooke Averick?

  Uh, maybe not. I don't know.

• 52:32Connor Wood?

  That would make Judd Apatow like 80.

• 52:34Brooke Averick?

  Kenan was born in 1978. Alright, give me a little bit more than that. He's 46.

• 52:41Brooke Averick?

  And Judd is

• 52:42Connor Wood?

  66?

• 52:43Brooke Averick?

  57.

• 52:44Connor Wood?

  57?

• 52:46Brooke Averick?

  So they're not even 10 years apart.

• 52:47Connor Wood?

  Well, Judd was, Judd Apatow was alive during that time and people looks like in their 40s when they were like 21.

• 52:53Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 52:53Connor Wood?

  You know what I mean?

• 52:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 52:55Connor Wood?

  Like, like George Costanza.

• 52:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yes, yes, I-

• 52:58Connor Wood?

  George Costanza being like a stud on Seinfeld, like had all the girls like absolutely in line sobbing wet for George Costanza and that was how every show like that was. They were like, ooh, look at that, look at that guy that just walked in and then the guy is like someone who modern day women would like call HR on if you said hello to them.

• 53:18Brooke Averick?

  I like, like, fear that I would have been one of those girls for George. Almost even a little.

• 53:25Connor Wood?

  He, he does have a pull, but it's strictly personality wise.

• 53:27Brooke Averick?

  There is a pull. There is a pull.

• 53:30Connor Wood?

  It's, yeah. Um, okay, so that Martin Short and Meryl Streep. That was, that was Meryl Streep's first time on SNL ever. So I think that Martin Short and Meryl Streep are like full blown going.

• 53:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:43Connor Wood?

  Going so hard that he got her to be on- Like, that's the hardest launch I've ever seen. Like Meryl Streep and her launch.

• 53:49Brooke Averick?

  There needs to be-

• 53:52Brooke Averick?

  And I think like there are more books coming out about it that I love like more like 60 plus romances in pop culture.

• 54:01Connor Wood?

  What's that one with Diane Keaton? That movie?

• 54:03Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 54:04Connor Wood?

  I would love more movies like that.

• 54:05Brooke Averick?

  Something's gotta give.

• 54:07Connor Wood?

  Something's gotta give.

• 54:08Brooke Averick?

  Something has got to give.

• 54:10Connor Wood?

  Something's got to give in the rom com industry. I'll step up to the damn plate if you guys need me. We need, we need a renaissance.

• 54:17Brooke Averick?

  And this is when I'll come back and say, everyone needs to go watch Grace and Frankie.

• 54:21Connor Wood?

  Grace and Frankie's good. I just watched Bridget Jones is mad crazy about the boy.

• 54:26Brooke Averick?

  Oh, how was that? I love Leo.

• 54:28Connor Wood?

  That made me really sad because Bridget or Renee Zellweger's. Okay, wait, who's the dude that's, who's the dude that's in like One Day and he's in White Lotus last season?

• 54:38Brooke Averick?

  Leo.

• 54:39Connor Wood?

  Leo, that's who you love. He's the.

• 54:41Brooke Averick?

  He's the love interest.

• 54:42Connor Wood?

  He's the love interest.

• 54:43Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 54:45Connor Wood?

  I'm just like, so confused. Does he know where the, he's a great actor, but like, I don't know. Like, how is he the love interest in every single show right now?

• 54:54Brooke Averick?

  How could he not be? How could you be a casting agent and think of anyone else at a time like this?

• 55:00Connor Wood?

  I mean, it was, it was a, it was not a natural fit for this movie. I didn't feel like.

• 55:05Brooke Averick?

  Well, you know, they're based off of books.

• 55:08Connor Wood?

  No.

• 55:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you know, my book was Pitch's Gen Z versus Bridget Jones.

• 55:14Connor Wood?

  Oh, wow.

• 55:15Brooke Averick?

  Because they're books.

• 55:17Connor Wood?

  Well, I love Bridget Jones. I love that stuff.

• 55:19Brooke Averick?

  Sounds like you do.

• 55:20Connor Wood?

  Well, I do love it. I don't think that that was like a.

• 55:23Brooke Averick?

  Wasn't your favorite segment of her storyline?

• 55:26Connor Wood?

  No, it just didn't feel like a, like a natural fit for some reason. Like, I don't know if it's because I'm so, I've watched so many things with Leo in it and Renee Zellweger, like all I've watched really, she's like so Bridget Jones to me. But the way they filmed it was really beautiful. And I feel like what's, what's happening right now with like the way things are filmed, which I hate, is that they're so sharp. It looks like you're watching like Planet Earth when you're watching Anyone But You. They're so sharp and they're so kitschy. Like you almost want like a softer filming type, you know? Like I almost want it to be like.

• 55:57Brooke Averick?

  People came for Wicked when they went soft.

• 56:00Connor Wood?

  What do you mean?

• 56:01Brooke Averick?

  There are like, some of the like, colors in Wicked were like muted a bit, and people were like so outraged.

• 56:09Connor Wood?

  I, I want like a more grainy filmography when someone films a rom-com. Like, I want it to be like, the, the most high def I want it to be is like 50 First Dates film. Like, the colors are really nice, almost like pastelly, really soft.

• 56:20Brooke Averick?

  You think it's just your TV, maybe?

• 56:23Connor Wood?

  No. No, it's the way that they produce. Like, it's almost like 3D printed.

• 56:28Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 56:29Connor Wood?

  Did you watch White Lotus?

• 56:30Brooke Averick?

  I watched White Lotus.

• 56:33Connor Wood?

  I want, first of all, did you clock Lucius Malfoy? Lucius, sorry.

• 56:41Brooke Averick?

  Connor, I have seen each Harry Potter 30-plus times.

• 56:50Brooke Averick?

  I didn't clock Lucius M. for even one second. Not, no ounce of me was like, that man looks familiar. Until I got on Twitter the next day and was like, I literally couldn't clock Lucius without that hair. And I was like, what do you mean? That wasn't loose? I cannot believe that's loose.

• 57:08Connor Wood?

  On My Father's Fat Ass, could not pin that man. And then I got on IMDb like immediately, and obviously there's not, they don't have the cast up yet. So like, I had to individually search characters and like, look for the deadline article that had them all in it. And I was like, shit, Lucius! But he needs a wig. Like, I literally couldn't have placed, they should have, I mean, I love what they did with the place. Like, they nailed it. They really nailed it. I love the accents. It reminds me of like, an SMU family so much, like a Texas, like, loaded family that's just like, on this trip, and they're all douchebags, and they all want to fuck each other. That's like a perfect example.

• 57:44Brooke Averick?

  I'm so excited to see where that family is gonna go.

• 57:47Connor Wood?

  That is a perfect example of when I say like, brothers and sisters are not supposed to be, like, this is my best friend, like, happy birthday to my best friend, and I'm like... No, you're not supposed to be that close. You're not supposed to have like, your moms aren't supposed to be like jumping on you after your football game and taking a picture and being like so proud of my boy, like.

• 58:08Brooke Averick?

  I feel like they aren't like that, though. Like especially the Patrick Schwarzenegger brother. Like, he doesn't know his siblings at all. He's getting to know them, which is concerning. The way that he's choosing to get to know them, which is concerning.

• 58:22Connor Wood?

  They are, they are getting, they are bonding in a way.

• 58:24Brooke Averick?

  They are getting acquainted.

• 58:26Connor Wood?

  I like, kind of was thrown off a little bit when the sister was like, no, you can stay with me.

• 58:30Brooke Averick?

  No, I know.

• 58:31Connor Wood?

  What?

• 58:32Brooke Averick?

  I, I, I don't think Mike White is gonna, well, I didn't think Mike White was gonna go there. And then at the end, I said, maybe he just might.

• 58:40Connor Wood?

  Maybe he just.

• 58:41Brooke Averick?

  Maybe he just might.

• 58:42Connor Wood?

  Maybe we're doing incest. Like, I really.

• 58:45Brooke Averick?

  We, we dipped our toe into the incest space last season with Leo's character and his uncle. Remember? He was fucking his uncle, but it wasn't his uncle.

• 58:57Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 58:58Brooke Averick?

  But we didn't necessarily know that.

• 58:59Connor Wood?

  Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Did I forget about the incest in the last season?

• 59:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So maybe that was just like the warm up?

• 59:06Connor Wood?

  It's crazy how quickly incest will just like leave your brain when a new incest moment happens. I forgot about Leo's incest.

• 59:13Brooke Averick?

  Hmm.

• 59:14Connor Wood?

  Um, yeah, that was one thing. And then the, the big thing that everybody clocked, well, I think one person clocked and everyone else claimed to clock was them on the boat. Patrick Schwarzenegger with his, um, glasses on, the, the daughter with her headphones on and the, the son, the youngest brother drinking a bottle of Pepsi-Cola.

• 59:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 59:32Connor Wood?

  And it was like, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. And then there's monkeys everywhere. And like, I just want to be like, we get it. We see the monkeys. Cause they like, keep being like, there's monkeys outside. And it's like, we saw the monkeys like right in the first scene. I saw that there are monkeys. I have an, I have a, I have a theory.

• 59:50Brooke Averick?

  Tell me.

• 59:51Connor Wood?

  And we can all, we can all call our shots. I think a monkey's gonna, I think a monkey's gonna get a gun.

• 59:56Brooke Averick?

  I was just about to say, do you think the monkey pulled the trigger?

• 59:59Connor Wood?

  I think a monkey pulled the trigger. And I, I think it's like a Planet of the Apes situation.

• 1:00:04Brooke Averick?

  I don't know if I'm there with you. I do, obviously, like, something is gonna happen with the monkeys.

• 1:00:09Connor Wood?

  I think the monkeys are gonna find a Glock.

• 1:00:12Brooke Averick?

  I don't think they're gonna find a Glock, but something will happen with the monkey.

• 1:00:15Connor Wood?

  I think we're gonna see a monkey with an AK-47 strapped to its hip. And just plowing them down. Now, I have another question, really quickly, about the beginning scene with the young man doing the meditation. When he's in the water, what do you think he saw that made him, like, try to get out?

• 1:00:36Brooke Averick?

  A body.

• 1:00:37Connor Wood?

  Oh, damn, I thought it was like a creature. I thought it was like an alligator or like a snake.

• 1:00:42Brooke Averick?

  No, the whole thing about White Lotus is that you see a body at the beginning and then you work your way back to figure out who it is.

• 1:00:49Connor Wood?

  Damn, I thought it was a gator.

• 1:00:52Brooke Averick?

  No, it was not. It wasn't a gator.

• 1:00:54Connor Wood?

  Okay. I was like, oh, cuz my first thought when I see like a creek like that is like, I'm not getting in. There's, there's critters in there.

• 1:01:00Brooke Averick?

  Right. He was, I think he like, um, didn't have like the luxury.

• 1:01:07Connor Wood?

  See, I would have ran inside the house with all the other people running inside.

• 1:01:10Brooke Averick?

  Well, he was looking for his mom.

• 1:01:13Connor Wood?

  He was looking for his mom.

• 1:01:15Brooke Averick?

  He was Belinda.

• 1:01:17Connor Wood?

  He was looking for his mom.

• 1:01:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, where's my mom?

• 1:01:21Connor Wood?

  Where's my mom? I'm all alone. I'm way too young.

• 1:01:27Brooke Averick?

  To be here on my own. Yeah, it was very much that.

• 1:01:30Connor Wood?

  And then Greg pops up again. Greg, who was cheating on Tanya last season, is, is effing with this little.

• 1:01:36Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I also forgot, like, I had to remind myself Greg, Greg is the one that tried to get Tanya killed.

• 1:01:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Connor Wood?

  And now he's living in Thailand with his, with his little, uh, little mama.

• 1:01:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:50Connor Wood?

  That he hates too. So Greg's just like a miserable.

• 1:01:52Brooke Averick?

  It's good to see him. It's always good to see him.

• 1:01:54Connor Wood?

  His bald head. I love that thing that they said, that they said all these, all these like losers at home or whatever they call those bald white dudes that like come to Thailand.

• 1:02:02Brooke Averick?

  Yes, yes, yes. I vaguely recall.

• 1:02:06Connor Wood?

  That was really special.

• 1:02:07Brooke Averick?

  But I liked it. I'm so excited to see. I love White Lotus. I'm excited to see where it goes. It's like the only TV I could watch now.

• 1:02:13Connor Wood?

  I'm so happy to have something to do with everyone. Like, it really feels like I'm, it really feels-

• 1:02:17Brooke Averick?

  It's nice to be back with everyone.

• 1:02:19Connor Wood?

  It feels like I joined a softball team, like a baseball team, and I can, I'm going on Sundays. But I got, I got White Lotus merch, so I have a robe with a hood on it and slippers from the White Lotus. And it's, they're the brunch slippers, you know?

• 1:02:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:36Connor Wood?

  U.S.

• 1:02:37Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God, that's amazing.

• 1:02:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'll send you a picture.

• 1:02:40Brooke Averick?

  Maybe you'll wear them in the bonus.

• 1:02:43Connor Wood?

  Last, last thing I want to talk about really quick, and then we'll go to bone.

• 1:02:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:48Connor Wood?

  Not to bring this up like right before you fly out to Indiana and then directly fly out here. Yeah, the plane crash.

• 1:02:54Brooke Averick?

  No, let's not.

• 1:02:56Connor Wood?

  The Delta flight doing a tuck and roll.

• 1:02:58Brooke Averick?

  Let's not do the somersault.

• 1:03:00Connor Wood?

  No, all I want to say about that, okay, okay, you know what? I'm just gonna say it and God forbid, God forbid, thank you so much for everything that you've given me. Such an ideal situation for everyone on that flight. They got in a plane crash. None of the people on that plane, including employees, will ever have to work again. And that is the reason, my theory, that planes that go down, they, their ideal situation is like, everybody died. No one can sue them. I guess the families. Families. All right, well, I would get a good TikTok out of it, a good viral TikTok out of it, and then I would be able to sue. And I'd probably never work again. I'd probably go, go Greg it up in Thailand, shave my head and be bald and-

• 1:03:44Brooke Averick?

  If I was, I don't, actually, I don't, I like, don't even, I don't want to say anything in the space.

• 1:03:51Brooke Averick?

  I don't even want to say the P word.

• 1:03:53Connor Wood?

  No, and I won't. But they said that it was like weather, but then now they're saying that the pilot like straight up hit the ground and so hard that the wheel retracted. And-

• 1:04:04Connor Wood?

  I'm so happy everyone is okay.

• 1:04:06Brooke Averick?

  Me too.

• 1:04:07Connor Wood?

  It was just a Hawaii pilot that I saw on Twitter that was like, hey, guys, um, they're saying something's like off with the oil. They're, they said that they're just gonna fix it, but I'm not feeling it, so I'm out. Uh, good luck. I don't know what they're gonna do for you guys, but I'm not gonna fly on this plane, so good luck. And everyone on the plane was like, what? We're going to Hawaii. And he was like, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not like risking it. Sorry. Bye. I'm like, King. You did nothing wrong. Good. Get off that plane. If you're not feeling it. Anyone that has an issue with the pilot saying eh, I'm out.

• 1:04:40Brooke Averick?

  Would you get off the plane?

• 1:04:42Connor Wood?

  I'd be on the pilot's back heading out. I'm going home with the pilot.

• 1:04:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:47Connor Wood?

  That's my family.

• 1:04:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:04:51Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well. That was fun. It was nice catching up.

• 1:04:56Connor Wood?

  That was fun catching up. I feel like I had so much to spew today, given my, my restraint last week and my out of spewing experience.

• 1:05:03Brooke Averick?

  We can keep spewing in the bonus.

• 1:05:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we'll spew in the bone.

• 1:05:07Brooke Averick?

  Okay, see you there. Love you.

• 1:05:09Connor Wood?

  All there. Thanks for the patience as we find a more permanent solution. And thank you Reddit for all of your creative writing abilities.

• 1:05:16Brooke Averick?

  And thank you for all your support about my tooth. Thank you.

• 1:05:19Connor Wood?

  And thank you for a hundred K.

• 1:05:21Brooke Averick?

  Thank you.

• 1:05:22Connor Wood?

  Bye, guys.

• 1:05:24Brooke Averick?

  This week on Close Friends, you just told me about the duck penis.

• 1:05:28Connor Wood?

  Well, I don't know for a fact. I've just seen a duck penis. Get you, get you a sword swallower. I'm on, I'm on Hinge looking for a sword swallower. If a boy bird has a penis and a girl bird has a cloaca, then who's driving the bus? I wanna just really quickly flag that we didn't talk about poop one time in that main episode.

• 1:05:48Speaker 05

  Sign up on TMGstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.

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