Ask Me Anything #7: John Answers Your Questions

🇺🇸 Watch United States of Anxiety Exclusively on the Free Ramsey Network App! In this special episode of Ask Me Anything, John answers your questions about relationships, self-care and his personal life. Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🌿 Get up to 40% off at Cozy Earth with code DELONY. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🥤 Get 20% off at Organifi with code DELONY. 🏔️ Head to Poncho Outdoors to check out all their styles! Listen to More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel[MS1] [JC2] [KD3] 💼 The Ken Coleman Show 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy https://www.ramseysolutions.com/company/policies/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Dr. John Delony?

  This is a special episode. This is then Ask Me Anything that we do at the end or beginning of every year.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Usually we do them on the 100, like the 100, 200, 300.

• 0:13Dr. John Delony?

  You forgot?

• 0:14Speaker 01

  No. We've been sending you the questions to pick from since June.

• 0:18Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  And you haven't. It was supposed to be on the 600th episode and this is episode 679.

• 0:29Dr. John Delony?

  What up? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. I'm so glad that you're with us. So, so grateful. Every single one of you, mowing, vacuuming, just sitting under the covers, trying to ignore your family during the holidays or the new year. What, when is this coming out, Kelly?

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Uh, two days after Christmas, which for most people is probably past mowing season, I would think. For most people.

• 0:54Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, but if you're like me, you can hide on the mower, dude. You can just be like, "Ah, gotta mow." This is when you can hide and mow up all your leaves. You're not doing anything. Or you can snow blow. Is that a thing? I just remember that from Short Circuit. Remember that movie?

• 1:08Speaker 01

  Uh, yes, but I think for people living far north, northern, farther up north than we do, snow blowing is a thing.

• 1:15Dr. John Delony?

  That's literally the most southern thing you've ever said. The more northerner? Good job. This show is brought to you by Kelly's reading ability. Hooked on Phonics. Uh, she has an app out. You don't. So, hey, this is a special episode. This is then Ask Me Anything that we do at the end or beginning of every year. And, uh, I don't know. We've been doing this for what, four or five years now? So, we've maybe done two or three of them? So, maybe sometimes we do this?

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Actually, we've done quite a few because usually we do them on the 100, like the 100, 200, 300. But, um, if we're being real transparent here.

• 1:51Dr. John Delony?

  You forgot?

• 1:52Speaker 01

  No. Uh, we've been sending you the questions to pick from since June.

• 1:56Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  And you haven't.

• 1:57Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  So, it was supposed to be on the 600th episode.

• 2:01Dr. John Delony?

  But I like, I like AMAs coming in cold.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  And then, um, just so people know, so it was on the 600th episode we planned it and this is episode 679.

• 2:10Dr. John Delony?

  I, I like.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  But you, you never said that. You just ignored the email.

• 2:14Dr. John Delony?

  Listen, I like coming in cold. I can't stand like overly prepared because they look like, like, they look.

• 2:22Dr. John Delony?

  I don't like prepared slick like Tik Toky videoy things. I like listening to somebody, do you actually know what you're talking about? And is it in your guts somewhere?

• 2:30Speaker 01

  I don't think anyone will ever compute confuse us for prepared and slick. I just don't.

• 2:35Dr. John Delony?

  You know, those, those words have never, you know, like Delaney was very prepared. That sentence has never been uttered ever, ever. All right, so let's let them rip.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  All right. Question number one.

• 2:45Dr. John Delony?

  Ask me anything.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  What is the most common relationship advice people get wrong?

• 2:53Dr. John Delony?

  Relationship advice that people get wrong, that they can, something around they can do something to change their romantic partner. That there's some kind of behavior, some kind of something that I can do to make you do something different. Um, we just don't have that kind of control like we wish we did.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Can you give an example?

• 3:10Dr. John Delony?

  Um, maybe the most common question I get is I want my partner to stop drinking. How do I make my partner have more sex with me? How can I, like, you can do things like not be an ass, like be kind. You can do things like be hygienic. You can do some things, but the other person ultimately has to make a decision. Um, more, more heartbreaking, how can I help my husband be less depressed? How can I help my wife be less anxious? Or how can I help my wife with her, um, postpartum? The challenge is you can help with the environment, but at the end of the day, somebody's got to want to or be able to, or take your hand and walk with you towards healing.

• 3:54Dr. John Delony?

  And it's hard when you love somebody and they're hurting on the other end of that. But I think the most common advice is five tips to make him fall for you or three tip. It's just all bull crap, dude. Um, you can create a context, but the most important thing is can you sit down and look at somebody and say, here's what I want, here's what I need. Will you be with me? And they have to say yay or nay. And that's, that's scary, scary. It's a lack of control that, that we, we don't have a psychology for in our culture.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  So I'm going off script here a bit. So I think, I think it's more prominently female than male is my guess. That we grow up with the idea somehow of we can change it.

• 4:34Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  And I don't know where that comes from.

• 4:37Dr. John Delony?

  I, I think it.

• 4:40Dr. John Delony?

  I don't know how old that sentiment is, um, but I'm guessing it's 25 or 30 years old. Maybe I can be way off from that.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Oh, way older. I mean, I think that's been.

• 4:49Dr. John Delony?

  Cause I think my mom, I think my mom and dad, in their generation of being married, um, they're in their seventies. Men just were and women just were.

• 4:57Dr. John Delony?

  And then it became this idea that

• 5:01Dr. John Delony?

  men, masculinity, this idea, and it's, and it's, there's all different derivatives of this, but there's something wrong with it. The fact that men go to work and duke it out with each other every day over tiny little postage stamps of yard, right? There's something wrong with that inherently. And so if men would just fill in the blank with any number of different behaviors and somehow that became a woman's responsibility and she's always held, not always, but for the last couple hundred years, especially, she always held chastity, always held like the cornerstone here because women have out, like disproportionately held the if this thing goes bad, right? You have to remain chaste 200 years ago because getting pregnant could kill you, right?

• 5:46Dr. John Delony?

  Or it could be a great shame to your family if you got pregnant. So you had to, or you have to just kind of suck it up for the last thousands and thousands of years because you weren't allowed to have a job. You weren't allowed to own property, right? So I think in the last 25, 30, 40 years, as things have

• 6:07Dr. John Delony?

  have, the playing field has begun to level a bit with same jobs and rising incomes and women just have more options. They have looked at men as projects, like, oh, I can make him X, Y, and Z.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. So it sounds almost like, so I'm a Gen X, that it's kind of, we were the first generation of.

• 6:24Dr. John Delony?

  I'm totally making that up. I don't, that's actually a good question, but it sounds right to me.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. Because I mean, I know there's the idea of, you know, you date the guy that's kind of an ass, but you're like, and you know that everyone's told you he is, and but you're like, oh, I can change.

• 6:36Dr. John Delony?

  I'll be the one who can.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  I can change him. Yeah.

• 6:38Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, yeah. I'll tame the wild dragon. Yeah.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 6:44Dr. John Delony?

  I don't know. Ben, I know you were called the Wild Dragon back in high school, so I've never even heard.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Nailed it. How'd you know?

• 6:50Dr. John Delony?

  I mean, your tattoo that says Wild Dragon across your back, but I'm making that up. But and let's take for granted, maybe for all of human history, women have thought, I can change him. I think there's been this assumption that men don't have to. I don't have to change. I can just be the way I am, however I want to, whenever I want to. And that's just not the case anymore because women can leave. They've got other options. And so maybe that's it.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  All right, question two.

• 7:19Dr. John Delony?

  Does that ring true?

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Oh, I think so because I think even, well, so I'm thinking back to, because you know, I'm a huge history buff, especially like 14th, 15th century history.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  And when women, you know, we didn't have the rights, we couldn't divorce or leave. But I know that, you know, there was a way that women would manipulate situations. You deal with the power you have.

• 7:42Dr. John Delony?

  That's right.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  You know, and so I think that that's probably gone through the centuries and, you know, the decades as women had more power and more power because it was all, it was the only way they had to control their environment.

• 7:51Dr. John Delony?

  Right.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  And so, yeah.

• 7:52Dr. John Delony?

  Stay safe and not dead, right?

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Exactly. And I have to figure out some way to get what I want because I don't have a say so. And then all of a sudden, when things were not completely level, but more level.

• 8:03Dr. John Delony?

  You could get a mortgage and a credit card.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Right, exactly. You know, we could get a bank account without having to get my husband's, you know, thoughts on it.

• 8:11Dr. John Delony?

  That's when things went sideways in the Kelly Daniel household, but keep going.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Anywho, but yeah, so then all of a sudden it was like, well, now I can fix him and.

• 8:21Dr. John Delony?

  I can kind of have my life exactly as I want it.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:24Dr. John Delony?

  And I want, I want the bad guy, right?

• 8:26Speaker 01

  The bad boy.

• 8:27Dr. John Delony?

  I want the bad boy, but I want the, but I want him to be the bad guy in, in the world that I create.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  In my context.

• 8:34Dr. John Delony?

  There you go.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, within my guardrails that are okay.

• 8:37Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  And I think there's also something, and I may be out of, you know, out in left field here on this one, but.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  This is probably not overly kind to my own sex either, but there's a whole idea that we're the, like, we can change him because we're so amazing. Like, he's gonna wanna be with us, so he'll change.

• 8:57Dr. John Delony?

  Ah, gotcha.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  I think there's definitely some of that about, I'm the one that'll be, I'm the one.

• 9:02Dr. John Delony?

  I can do it.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  And I'm the one that can change him when no one else could.

• 9:06Dr. John Delony?

  That's interesting, because I've always, I've always known about, um, the world-shifting power of teenage male American, Western arrogance. When they would line men up, so like, for all human history, they'd line up, you know, warriors and say, 99 out of 100 of you are not coming home, and there was a zen about it. There was the, whether it's Marcus Aurelius, whether it is the ancient Eastern, there was a zen, a, "I'm gonna give my life to a greater cause. This is my role." And then you get this adoption of a Western male in World War I, World War II, they lined him up, and they said, "Hey, 90% of y'all are not coming home. Nine out of 10 of you will die." And they lined him up and looked to their left and looked to the right, and it was like, "Sucks to be that, dude, cuz I'm coming home."

• 9:48Dr. John Delony?

  And there was this sense of, of this insane self-aggrandizement, like, I am, I will beat the odds at every turn, and if enough people think that, weirdly, a lot of y'all beat the odds. But it never occurred to me that women do that, too. Like, you know, I'll change him. I, I could change him.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I think that that's, do you agree, Taylor? Is that still a thing?

• 10:09Dr. John Delony?

  I, I, I can do it.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. I can be the one, because either I'm so amazing, not even that, but just like, I can do it, all, you know, all these other women who talk about what a horrible humanity is, I can.

• 10:21Dr. John Delony?

  I got it.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  I got it. There's something in me, or he'll see something in me, and he'll be like, "Oh, she's the one. I'll change, so I can keep her."

• 10:28Speaker 03

  Like, you're so worth it, I'm gonna change for you.

• 10:30Dr. John Delony?

  That's it. It's, I'm so worth it. Huh. Look at me learning today on the John Deloney Show. That's awesome.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  All right, question two. When should you delete pictures of your ex-significant other?

• 10:44Dr. John Delony?

  Ah geez, this is the question that's like beyond me because I grew up, I didn't grow up in this world.

• 10:51Dr. John Delony?

  I've still got like, I remember my wife hilariously made, like back in the day, you just had stacks of photos that you would get developed. My wife one time, we were probably three or four years in, she made it, it's hilarious. And I still have it, I mean, it's somewhere in the Deloney archives somewhere. But she made me like a, a photo album of all, like any ex photo that she found. And it was hilarious, like from

• 11:16Speaker 01

  That's amazing.

• 11:17Dr. John Delony?

  Middle school, high school, and the, like, she made this like thing and it was, it was funny and it was her kind of being like, I won. But also like, um, she's like, well, she was really pretty and she, I mean, so it was, it made for a hilarious interaction, but

• 11:33Dr. John Delony?

  I don't know. I mean, I, I'm sure there's pictures in our house somewhere in an old photo album of my wife's boyfriend. I don't know. I, I just, I couldn't care less. I know the game has shifted dramatically to all this is public facing and there's these public declarations. What was it that, uh, who's that country artist that's kind of a big deal right now? Zach, uh, something.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Zach Bryan?

• 11:56Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, whose girlfriend said she found out that she got dumped on Instagram, on Instagram post, like, that's just a world that's foreign to me. Um, so I guess here's the, what I would say is the magic answer. Talk to each other. And I could, I could give seven boxes of farts if the photos of my wife's ex-boyfriends are somewhere in a photo album. If they're on a frame on the wall, that's weird, right? So maybe social media, that's what that is now, right? That's the frame on the wall. So yeah, I would take them down pretty, pretty quick. But like in terms of, like, I don't know that you go and scrub everything. Um, I remember an important conversation with my wife one time.

• 12:39Dr. John Delony?

  And it's, I mean, this is several years ago, it's not a long time ago. But I said, hey, you've never asked about, you know, X, Y, and Z, this person I dated, or that person I dated, or who I was dating during this period. And she said something that was really instructive. She said, I've never asked because I can't know. I said, what do you mean you can't know? And she goes, um, she goes, I just, I can't, I can't. I just don't want to go there. Like, I love my life and I love our life together. And in my head, I'm thinking, we've been together over a quarter century. And then later on, maybe three, four weeks, a month later, I don't remember. But I said, hey, it feels like there's parts of me that you can't love, or that you have to pretend don't exist. And I said, that's weird to me.

• 13:22Dr. John Delony?

  It's not weird that you don't want to hear the intimate details of my old girlfriends. That I totally understand. But it is weird to me that, like, there's parts of me, there's, there's closet doors you can't open. And she smiled, she goes, you got me on that. I, I think you're right on that. And so then out of the blue, maybe six months later, she was like, all right, who are you dating from here to here? And it ended up being a hilarious, funny, like, no way. Like, it was a fun conversation. But I think there's, we like to pretend that everyone's past doesn't exist up until the moment we're with them. And their history begins the day we say hi, right? And I don't think that's healthy. I think there's a healthier aspect to know. Like, I want to know all of you, I want to know about you.

• 14:04Dr. John Delony?

  And if there's parts of you that I think I can't know about, I mean, my understanding of exposure therapy and working with anxiety and, and dis- like, you have to head into that. Like, tell me about it. I want to know all of you. And there's always the moron who weaponizes, like, that doesn't mean you go into all of the grotesque details of all of your escapades and all of your, well, she was really good at, no, no, no, you're a terrible person, breakup. But, um, I think there's something about knowing each other's history.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  What about, um, so this, this situation came up this weekend. So I have a friend of mine that recently got divorced. Um, and we were at her house, and I'm at her house all the time. But one of our other friends happened to know, she was like, you still have one of your wedding pictures up? And she was like, well, he's still the father of my son.

• 14:56Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  And like, she had pictures in her house of them as a family. And she's like, well, because this is still his house and this is, these are his parents.

• 15:03Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  You know, but like, I know I have, you know, I was married prior, no kids, but I have a box that it's like our wedding album and stuff like that. And I remember one time, years and years ago, saying something to my husband about, should I get rid of this? He's like, why would you? It's part of who you are.

• 15:17Dr. John Delony?

  And plus, like, every, like, six weeks or seven weeks, like, you get, like, half a bottle of red wine, and you're just, like, going through the box, and you're like,

• 15:24Speaker 01

  A, no, I don't drink. B, just no. But I think, I mean, that'd be weird if I was doing that, but if, like, the idea that, like, he's like, I mean, it's just part of who you are, it's in a box in the attic, but it's like, throwing it away doesn't make it not exist. And, like, my kids know I was married, and...

• 15:40Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, so anybody who dates your friend knows she made a life with somebody, and it didn't work out, for whatever reason, it didn't work out. And so, that's a part of whoever that person's gonna date, so pretending that didn't happen is insane. And also, like, there's that Michael Scott, remember when he, he's dating that, that woman, and he cuts out, he cuts out, um, her husband, ex-husband's face, and like, on a ski photo with the family, and like, tapes his face, and they're glues his face, and like, don't do that, that's insane, right? Um, and I do think there's a moment where, if your friend got remarried, having a bu- bunch of photos in the house of another guy hanging on the wall, that's weird, right? So I can see a bunch of photos on my social media profile, um, if you're newly married

• 16:25Dr. John Delony?

  to someone who used to have a long-term, like, that's weird, that's weird. But, is what it is.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  What about when your iPhone or Facebook account pulls up photos that you would rather not be seeing on your day-to-day life? Like, if you have a painful breakup, then what do you do? Like, not wanting things to be curated of, Facebook saying, like, "Remember this?" And you're like, "God, no, I'd rather not."

• 16:51Dr. John Delony?

  I, I...

• 16:55Dr. John Delony?

  Maybe I'm crazy. I think part of dealing with pain, and part of dealing with trauma, is metabolizing it, not avoiding it. And so, I wanna be able to get to a place, my wife thinks I'm, I'm part of, like, it's a pathology for me. I'm friends with almost all, not all of them, but almost all of my exes, even back to high school. Like, if I see, hear from them, or see them, it's always, I always remember joy, and they may remember me, like, "No, no, we hate you. Like, we don't like you, John." But, like... I don't know, I always want to work through those things. There's very, very few people that, when their picture comes up, that I don't at least smile. Either I'm laughing at them, or remember when, or that was a good time. I just, I, I don't like the avoidance

• 17:35Dr. John Delony?

  thing. So maybe in a weird way, Apple's like, helping us, it gives us little annual reminders of how healthy we actually are, or not. At the same time, it's really dangerous to have a bad weekend in your marriage, and go check out your old college girlfriend. That's, that's really unhealthy, right? And she's becoming a fantasy. She's becoming a numbing behavior. And also, it's interesting to be like, "I wonder where that girl was, that I kissed at that dance in 7th grade? Like, where is she at now?" That's, that's natural. It's never happened before in human history, that we have all that at our fingertips now, which leads to a bunch of weird marital challenges. But, I don't know, I think it's messy. I

• 18:15Dr. John Delony?

  think it's messy. And I don't know how, how Apple does all that stuff, so. There you go, internet's people, you win again.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Alright, next question. What is your favorite thing to do on a day off?

• 18:30Dr. John Delony?

  I just, well, so my wife and I went, we had an, I had a speaking event, woe is me, in, at a resort in Mexico. It's pretty awesome. And she came with me. And she laughed, and I was like, "Hey, let's do this, this, and this." And she just cracked up. And she's like, "Nope, you will sleep 20 hours a day. Like, every, every hour you're not working, you're not speaking or doing your thing, you'll be cashed." And I was like, "No way." I just go so hard, all the time, I just collapse. And, so, honestly, I like to rest and be chill. This weekend starts, and I go in seasons, this weekend starts hunting season. And so, I get rather feral during the season. And people always comment, like, "Wow, you haven't

• 19:14Dr. John Delony?

  shaved in a long time." And I'm like, "Ah, don't speak to me." Right? And then I'll go through, like, the, it's all coming down, the end of January into February. Like, our show's failing, what am I doing? I need to go back and be a professor, this whole thing's awful. And then in March, the sun comes out, and I'm like, "Let's go, let's go for a hike." Like, so. It just is cyclical and seasonal for me. Cody, my manager, knows, just...

• 19:39Dr. John Delony?

  He doesn't take a lot of my emails during the month of February because they're all caustic and ah, and um, he also doesn't jump at everything I suggest in March or April or May because he knows I'm overly, want to take the world on, I'll say yes to everything and then I'll be sad in October, November. So, just cyclical, but I like to spend time with my kids, I love spending time with my wife, she's a close buddy, I like playing music with the gang, I like to go into concerts, I love going to stand-up comedy, and um, I like being out in the woods, catching something. What about you? What do you like to do? Besides just drink and get tattoos?

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Seriously, um, only because of the show. Uh, but I don't, that's the thing, y'all, I don't even drink, so.

• 20:19Dr. John Delony?

  Oh my gosh, she lies to y'all, America. I tell the truth, she does not.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  I think they know. Um, if, it depends on, if it was a day like my husband and I just had, we're home, uh, you know, breakfast.

• 20:31Dr. John Delony?

  Whoa, slow down, family show, slow down, slow down. Okay, breakfast.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Out like, my idea would be we'd be able to go to Loveless Cafe when it's not a two and a half hour wait, you know, have a nice breakfast, walk around downtown some little tiny, um, town that, we have a ton of these here in that area where you have the little town squares with shops and stuff in them. If it's just me and I have a day off, um, probably a lot of, sadly, I would love to say I have all these, you know, grand things, but it's probably a lot of napping in front of the television, falling asleep. But if I have, you know, if I'm up and about and doing things, I get out in the sun, go take a hike, go walk around. Um, and I also love the idea, I love like going to coffee shops by myself, and I love eating meals by myself, no problem doing that whatsoever.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Going to a movie by myself, totally fine with all that. I love it.

• 21:24Dr. John Delony?

  Isn't she a joy, America?

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Because I deal with all of this a lot, so sometimes I need.

• 21:30Dr. John Delony?

  She won the lottery professionally.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  A little alone time, a little, yes, a little don't talk to me time. Alright, what's your favorite social distortion song?

• 21:40Dr. John Delony?

  Oof, um, two of them are a tie. Um, When the Angels Sing, which is pretty extraordinary, um, off the White Light, White Heat, White Trash album, and also on that same record, my other favorite song by them is I Was Wrong. Uh, the song I Was Wrong became an anthem for me back in 2000, 2001 or 2002 when it was released, and it- Mike Ness, the singer of that band was just the pillar of punk rock attitude. Not like Green Day punks where you have green hair and you're like, "Oh my gosh, girls." But it was like, real thick black boots and jeans and we're gonna fix the car and we're coming over to your house to burn it. It was like old punks. And so he was the picture of, you don't apologize, you don't say, like, you just go hit the next

• 22:25Dr. John Delony?

  guy in the room. And when he came out with that song, it was at a pivotal point for me, growing up, like going from being a kid, being a college kid, to like, I gotta be a grown man now. And for whatever reason, that lodged itself into my soul. Like, I was wrong, and it's okay to say that. And the whole song is called "I Was Wrong." It's one of my favorite songs of all time, but those two songs are pretty amazing.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  All right, I'm gonna go, again, off-script, off with this. Favorite Guns N' Roses song?

• 22:54Dr. John Delony?

  Favorite Guns N' Roses song?

• 23:00Dr. John Delony?

  Great question.

• 23:04Dr. John Delony?

  I've got, I've got multiple memories wrapped around him. Is that okay? "Patience" was a song that me and a guy named Brandon, who was one of the most amazing musicians I've ever played with, we used to play "Patience" all the time. We had a little acoustic duo and we'd travel around, like, little coffee shops and at college and stuff, we'd play. And that was always just the crowd favorite back in the day.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  It's such an amazing song. It's so good.

• 23:26Dr. John Delony?

  And he was so talented. It was, it was just, that was fun. I remember "Paradise City" coming and being the first. That was like my generation's Bohemian Rhapsody. It was like an eight-minute, there's 14 songs, it's just utter chaos, but it's controlled, and there's a sing-along chorus to it. It was just the perfect song for a guy growing up, trying to learn what rock and roll was, and wanted to have his own band.

• 23:48Speaker 01

  That beginning of "Paradise City."

• 23:50Dr. John Delony?

  Just the strum.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  When it's just slash. I have so many frickin' memories tied to just that beginning. I mean, I can think of a million things, because I was, so you were probably in middle school, because I was, what was it, 89?

• 24:02Dr. John Delony?

  I was a newborn.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  No, you weren't. 89, I think.

• 24:05Dr. John Delony?

  You were graduating college.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  I was a freshman in high school.

• 24:08Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, sure.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  And so, but I just have, yeah, for some reason, that bit right there especially. A million, it's just a flood of memories.

• 24:15Dr. John Delony?

  For nerds, like for, for music nerds, I listened to that intro strum. It's the most perfect, like, time signature wise, tonally, like, it's the most perfect that brrrring, that first chord, I would just hit, I would just back it up, back it up, back it up, back, because that was so perfect. And then the end chaos, where you can hear everything exploding. When you see it live and they're running around and there's rockets everywhere, it's just, it's just what it's supposed to be. Like, whatever you think rock and roll is supposed to be, it is that song played live. I just, I remember smiling ear to ear, I've seen it twice live. I, I smiled ear to ear and I didn't stop. It was just, every little boy on planet Earth

• 25:00Dr. John Delony?

  has imagined themselves being Slash, standing up in front of the whole screaming crowd, playing that solo at the end of Paradise City while Axl's running around behind you, just doing summer songs of some sort.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Right, probably having a tip or chant from about something.

• 25:11Dr. John Delony?

  Of some sort, but, yeah. Those are important. And then there was just songs when that, when Appetite for Destruction came out, it was just such an inappropriate record. And it was just a way to, like, be a little rebellious kid, without doing anything, you just had to put your headphones on. And, much to my chagrin, 25 or 30 years later, when I saw that concert, I was like, oh, all those songs are downloaded in there. Like, I knew every word to every song, so.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. My Michelle, Mr. Brownstone's one of my favorites, and I know it's horrible. I'm fully aware of what it's about, but I love the song.

• 25:41Dr. John Delony?

  I remember, um, they come out and they started playing their first song, and, I mean, the place erupts. And I'm with four of my oldest friends, I mean, three of my oldest friends on the planet. Um, one of the mothers, one of my childhood second moms, she calls me, I live eight hours away, and she said, I know this is crazy, and this is the, the mother of my closest, one of my oldest friends on the planet, who's paraphrasing now. She said, um, I did something crazy. I heard there's a Guns N' Roses show, I bought four tickets, is there any way you could fly down? And the, the whole old gang go. And I was like, I will be there. And it was a, one of the, it was a fun, wild night, but, two lines into the first song, I remember going, whoa, whoa, whoa, I have a daughter, I'm not singing this.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  What song was it?

• 26:26Dr. John Delony?

  I don't want to say, like.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Was it Rocket Queen or My Michelle?

• 26:29Dr. John Delony?

  I just remember going, no, no, no, I have a daughter, we are not, this is, Mr. Rose, you are being rude and tacky, it's inappropriate, inappropriate. So I crossed my arms for that song. But. Then we got back into it. But I just remember being like, oh, my gosh, no kid should have listened to this record.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Well, that's pretty much all music from the 90s.

• 26:48Dr. John Delony?

  I know.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  That I listened to in my car and I'm like, this is awful.

• 26:51Dr. John Delony?

  I know.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  And then I turned it up.

• 26:52Dr. John Delony?

  I know. Yes.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  All right, last question on this one. Favorite Metallica song?

• 26:58Dr. John Delony?

  Favorite Metallica song? My gosh, that's fantastic. Going all the way back, there's a song off their Kill 'Em All record called Whiplash that I remember being the fastest. I remember thinking, I didn't know how human beings could play a song that fast, and it being electrified. I remember being like, that's what, yeah, I want to play that fast. And so I remember Whiplash, and, gosh, I remember all those Ride the Lightning records. And I just, I guess if I had to pick one, there's just, this is very unpopular to say, but it is very hard to beat Enter Sandman.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Enter Sandman.

• 27:37Dr. John Delony?

  As the greatest, as the greatest metal song of all time.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  It really is. Yeah.

• 27:41Dr. John Delony?

  It's perfect. It's perfect.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  It is perfect. If I have to pick one, like, to me, it's like Enter Sandman and then everything else.

• 27:47Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  Nothing else matters. For some reason, I just, I love it.

• 27:51Dr. John Delony?

  See, I was, I remember being so upset with that song. Like, I wasn't allowed to listen to the record. Like, oh, you guys sold out. Because when they played one, it was about like a war veteran. They played Sanitariums, about something going crazy. So even their slower songs were about something caustic, right? But then, just like James having a bad day, singing about it.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's something in Hetfield's voice in that one that I love. There's something in his voice that I just love.

• 28:15Dr. John Delony?

  It sounds like a person being seen naked for the first time. Like, this is what, this is me. And there's just that awkwardness to it. That's, that's really, it's pretty rich, yeah. Yeah. But Enter Sandman is the perfect metal song. It's the best metal song ever written. It just is. Except for Walk by Pantera. Oh, my gosh. But if I'm being objective, Enter Sandman is the greatest metal song of all time. All right, so we'll be right back with more Ask Me Anything, right after this.

• 28:42Dr. John Delony?

  All right, we're back. Ask Me Anything, we just talked, uh, music. So what are we talking about now?

• 28:47Speaker 01

  All right. Trauma has become a buzzword.

• 28:49Dr. John Delony?

  We'll just jump right in. We'll talk about trauma.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  What is it really, and how do you recognize its effects?

• 28:58Dr. John Delony?

  I guess as simply as I could put it is, trauma is your body reenacting something in the present that happened to you in the past. And you can detect it when your body begins to try to protect you from something. That's probably the easiest way I could say that. Whether it's a hard conversation, whether it's fear, whether it's somebody, you feel somebody coming up behind you, it's just your body trying to take care of you in some shape, form, or fashion. Particularly, you know what, that's not a good answer. Here's a better answer. Trauma is when you have a memory of an event, a thing, a person, a situation, and your body goes into fight or flight in the present, right now. It jumps to protect you right now.

• 29:43Dr. John Delony?

  Other things are just actually scary, right? Walking in a dark alley doesn't mean you had trauma, it just means you're in a dark alley and someone might hatchet murder you, as they would in one of your podcasts. Or in Nate Dogg's dreams. Wild dreams there. But yeah, trauma is when you have a memory of a person, a place, or thing, an event, and our situation, and your body gets flooded. It just tries to protect you. And heart rate, numbing devices, sweaty, like there's any number of things. Crying, tearful, anything.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  All right. This one says, "I want to journal and be vulnerable, but I worried that someone will read it. How do I get past that?"

• 30:23Dr. John Delony?

  My honest answer is find somebody you can read it to. Go straight through that fear. Like, write it down and sit down with somebody and say, "I have to, I've got to tell you something bananas." I remember someone who I loved dearly, not my wife, someone I loved dearly was really struggling with some intrusive thoughts postpartum. And had just convinced herself that if somebody knew the thoughts she was having, these images, that they were going to take her kid. And so it was like, "All right, let them rip, tell me." And you just watched this, like, I just remember her physiology changing in front of me, because she'd been holding it so tight.

• 31:05Dr. John Delony?

  And I said, "You need to go see somebody right away," which she did. But I think there was that initial, "I'm not going to take your kid, you're an extraordinary mom, and you love your kid. What's going on in your head and in your heart?" And then she went and told her OB-GYN, who was amazing too, so I could actually do something about it, I couldn't do anything about it, other than just be there, but I-

• 31:26Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, I'll leave it at that.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  All right. How do you feel about your impact on other people's lives?

• 31:40Dr. John Delony?

  Only in the last year has it gotten very real. And it gets, it's gotten pretty heavy. So in a strange way, I have to stay pretty distant from it.

• 31:50Dr. John Delony?

  Cause I think at the end, like I say this and not to be trite, but like,

• 31:56Dr. John Delony?

  I have the easiest part of this thing. That's just to sit and talk on the phone with somebody. And I, I look straight at a camera. So I don't, I don't actually see the person I'm talking to.

• 32:05Dr. John Delony?

  And the real heroes are people who listen to this thing and then go sit down and they tell their wife like, "Hey, I want to do something different." Or, "I don't know how to be a better dad, but I want to." Or the wives who say like, "I need more help around here." And they've never said that. They've never seen somebody model how to say that. And so, or the person that says, "I'm struggling pornography," or "I cheated on you," or like whatever has to, whatever has to happen so that we can go to, to what happens next. And that's bravery. So I'm always impressed by people who call. I'm always impressed by people who reach out or see me in an airport somewhere and says like, "I went and did the thing." That, that to me is awesome. But I have to be careful enough to try to carry everybody's story because I can't. I don't have that kind of strength. I'm not that strong. And so, um, over the last year, I've recognized the weight of it all.

• 32:48Dr. John Delony?

  And it's pretty cool and it's neat. And I've had to consciously remain at arm's length from it. Otherwise it can become a part of my identity and that's not safe. What about you? People write in and say like, "Hey, thanks to John." And they always say, "And team," which I guess it means you. Like, that was me being sarcastic, by the way, everybody.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  I think we all caught that.

• 33:09Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, they do way more than I do.

• 33:12Dr. John Delony?

  But like, how's it for you?

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Well, I think-

• 33:17Dr. John Delony?

  Because you read all the emails that, I don't read, I don't get access to those. Like, you read all the emails that come in and you hear the stories over and over and over.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, when we first started doing this show, man, that, that took some time. I remember my husband walking in, I was working at home one night, like 11 o'clock, going through emails. And I was just crying and he walked in, he was like, "Nope, this has to change. This can't continue." And I had to learn how to compartmentalize it. And that's why we talk about, I think we all talk about, as soon as I walk out of here, I can't tell you the calls we just did.

• 33:47Dr. John Delony?

  It's really a strange phenomenon.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I think we all feel that because I have to shut it off.

• 33:51Dr. John Delony?

  It's like, it's like an S.S. Gash just gets shook and then we're out, yeah.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  And then it's like, okay, on to the next one. And I know when I go through emails, sometimes I'm sure it seems heartless because I have to be just so yes, no, yes, no, because we get 200 a day.

• 34:05Dr. John Delony?

  Right.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  So it's just, yeah, it's a matter of just turning it off. And I'll have, when we're in our content strategy meetings and our, Trevor, our content strategist will be like, "So when, when John was doing this call, what did he say?" And Taylor and I are like, "We don't even remember the call." And he's like, "It was last week." "We don't remember yesterday's because we've just turned it off."

• 34:23Dr. John Delony?

  You have to.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  You have to.

• 34:24Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  And that may mean that sometimes I sit at lunch and I don't sit with people and I sit by myself and just put my earbuds in.

• 34:32Dr. John Delony?

  That's because she's antisocial.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Part, partially. Or like if it's at the end of the day and you've had, you know, I go home and there's like no radio in the car, you know, no-

• 34:40Dr. John Delony?

  I do that often.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's just silence. Peace.

• 34:43Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. But do you ever, do you ever, um, one of the coolest things is when somebody stops me somewhere and says, "I don't want to bother you, just need to tell you, I started talking, I've been listening to your show, I started talking to my wife different and it's made all the difference." Or, "I sat down with my husband and we're seeing a counselor and I think we're gonna make it." Like, they'll walk away and that's one of the greatest gifts somebody can give me is like, because we, I mean, we all hit send, right? And we go home to our lives and it's not like a live event where you can feel it and you know it's there and you meet people after the show and all that. This is just like you hit send and then, so there's something really extraordinary about somebody stopping and saying, "Hey, thank you." Like that, I, I can't tell people who listen what a big deal that is. It's awesome.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  All right. If you could play lead guitar for any band, dead or alive, for one show, who would it be and why?

• 35:35Dr. John Delony?

  Lead guitar for any band. Good gosh, that's a great question. I will probably go to, yikes.

• 35:47Dr. John Delony?

  It's a great question, man. Stumparoo. I would go to, um,

• 35:55Dr. John Delony?

  92 to 94. Pantera. There was a, uh, they would, it's the only band I've ever seen. That's not true. There's only been a couple of bands, very few, that you walk into a room and they absolutely have absorbed the soul of that room and, or the stadium or wherever you happen to be. And those were electric seasons. And I just remember

• 36:21Dr. John Delony?

  that guy could play guitar, like these were the best of all time, ever. And, um, it's pretty cool. So yeah, this, the way they could move a crowd with that stuff was, was just astounding to me.

• 36:32Dr. John Delony?

  What about you?

• 36:33Speaker 01

  Well, I don't play guitar. So first of all, that'd be a miracle. But if I could ever, um, so I'm going to ask you a question and I'll answer it too. This kind of goes with that. If you could see one band, one artist, dead or alive, ever, you know, one time, just to, to watch them play, who would it be?

• 36:53Dr. John Delony?

  Queen.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Oh, that's mine. It's Queen.

• 36:54Dr. John Delony?

  Queen.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Freddie Mercury, Queen?

• 36:56Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 36:57Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. I, I mean, I've seen most of the bands I wanted to see. I would love to have gone to like, see somebody like Buddy Guy or Howlin' Wolf, like old blues guys in a dive in New Orleans. Like I would love to see that.

• 37:10Dr. John Delony?

  Shows like that, I would love to go see, right? And catch them in the early days, but man, um, seeing Queen.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:16Dr. John Delony?

  And just being swept up in that thing.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  I can't even, yeah, I'd be, that'd be incredible.

• 37:21Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. And Brian May is just the- I mean, he's just the perfect guitar player. Oh, yeah. So I've seen most of the bands that I wanted to see in my life. It would've been cool to catch Hendrix or something like that, but seeing the spectacle that was Queen would've been amazing.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  My second would be Journey with Steve Perry, back in like 79, 80. A huge Journey fan, love them.

• 37:43Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, but like, that's right when you were, during your first marriage, that was an important time for you.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  I was five.

• 37:49Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  And six, so I'd just like to point that out.

• 37:51Dr. John Delony?

  Whatever. This show's brought to you by Jeritol.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Cause I have a sister, my brother and sister are quite a bit older than I am, so I grew up listening to, I had a Kiss poster on my wall when I was five. It explains a lot.

• 38:02Dr. John Delony?

  Yes.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  But, because I was listening to their music, and so I've been a Journey fan since, practically since they were.

• 38:09Dr. John Delony?

  This is sacrilege in the rock and roll community. Kiss is the one band that I've never been able to figure out.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Oh, they're a marketing, I mean, it's 100% marketing.

• 38:17Dr. John Delony?

  I've never understood them. Like, the fixation. And I hear that a lot of it was reading liner notes, because they didn't have MTV back in the day. They didn't have all the stuff, all they had were these pictures of these guys in the albums. And that's all you had. There was no websites, there was no social media. So you just would buy the record and you'd open it and there'd just be these pictures and they would make little booklets. And, um...

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Well, and I remember, they were the first that, uh, my brother was a huge Kiss fan, and he had the Kiss t-shirt. Cause I have a picture, he went to school picture day with a Kiss t-shirt, and my mom was so mad. Uh, but we still have that. He had a Kiss lunchbox, and they just, they were the first ones to do that. Nobody did that.

• 38:55Dr. John Delony?

  Market everything.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. They're geniuses when it comes to that kind of stuff. But, um, my favorite, my poster was Peter Chris, the drummer, when he would sing "Beth."

• 39:04Dr. John Delony?

  I just think you like him.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  It's not good.

• 39:06Dr. John Delony?

  Cause he was dressed like a cat.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  It's not great. I mean, you listen to it and you're like, "That's not great." But, it's just...

• 39:11Dr. John Delony?

  Kelly has a thing for men. Fortunately, her husband does not have this, but she loves men with like, just stringy Burger King manager mustaches, and Peter Chris just like painted his on, and you loved that. Shout out, I was a Burger King manager mustache. I don't even try to drag you guys down, because y'all are making it happen with that whopper with cheese! But like, you know what I mean? Like, just the little, like, oh, just, let's just shave that guy. You love that.

• 39:36Dr. John Delony?

  I can't hear you.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  I said, does that explain my fascination with Kid Rock and Dave Navarro? Yeah, some of those guys, probably.

• 39:44Dr. John Delony?

  Every once in a while, I'm right on the nose.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:46Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 39:49Dr. John Delony?

  All right, we'll be right back to wrap up this AMA if you're still with us. There's only, no one's listening to this, Kelly. We'll be right back. All right, we're back with, I guess, the last segment of this Ask Me Anything. It's mostly been talking about Kelly's music preferences.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  What does healthy masculinity look like?

• 40:09Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, my gosh. Can I just say the phrases that just popped into my head?

• 40:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:22Dr. John Delony?

  I can, and I don't have to. I get to, and I will. And I know when to fight, and I know when to provide, and I know when to love, and I know when to lay it all down. And masculinity is knowing when.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Can you give me an example of the can, I can, I get to, all of those?

• 40:53Dr. John Delony?

  We've never really talked about on this show, we're gonna lose some listeners on this one, that's okay. I spent years-

• 40:58Speaker 01

  Like you said, no one's listening anymore.

• 40:59Dr. John Delony?

  I spent years, um, learning mixed martial arts so I never have to fight anybody. I can, and I won't, I just will walk away. And I grew up, my dad was a homicide detective, I grew up around guns, and I know how to handle guns, so that I never get some fantasy about using them, right? I know how to go out and hunt a deer, and to, from start to have it in the freezer and then cook it, right? I know how to do that. So, man, I really enjoy a hamburger and cheeseburger, right? And so, it's, it's, I think there's this idea that you do all these things so that

• 41:43Dr. John Delony?

  you can exert your will on the world. That's such a lame way to live. It's an exhaustive way to live. But also, equally exhaustive, is this new world where men are happy about the things they don't know how to do. I don't know how to do that, I would never want to do it. And that's insane, too, right? That's just a little sliver of history. So, I think this idea that I can- And because I can, I don't have to is a, I think Jordan Peterson says, becoming terrifying so that I can be as gentle as possible. Cause if you're not, if you don't have that power and that strength that you know you can draw upon, if I didn't know, I couldn't go get my family food if I needed to, then I become an anxious mess. You follow every political trend and you fault, you outsource every decision, every, everything,

• 42:28Dr. John Delony?

  every ah to everybody else and you never have peace. And in the book, I don't want to talk about it by Terry Real, it's one of the top five books of my lifetime, but he talks about going to meet a warring tribal chief, I think in, in Africa. And he noticed that they were overly, overly like affectionate with their sons, holding hands with their sons, hugging their sons, kissing their sons all the time. And he asked about the interplay between this war tribe and this affection. Like, which one is it? And the chief said something along the lines of, it's both and, it's the, the, the mark of a true man is knowing when to do which. And I, that always sat with me. Like, that's it, right?

• 43:11Dr. John Delony?

  It's, I can, so I don't have to. And that, that to me is it.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Love that. So how do you limit kids' access to social media when they're at school or with their friends? Cause we've talked a lot about at home.

• 43:23Dr. John Delony?

  Well, number one, if they don't have a device, they don't have a device. Number two, if a kid shows them something, they're gonna show them something at school. I mean, you, you, you play as, as much defense as you can, but you gotta send your kids out into the world, which means you can't just, you can't play defense by prevention and have no conversation, you gotta talk about it. And I always go back to those like, it's the investment in relationships so that when they see something that they can't process, like some kid shows them a terrorist beheading video on some social media account, or they show them some, the first topless woman in, like in their sixth grade, show them that for the first time, or fourth grade or third grade, and they don't have a psychology for what they just saw, other than it was terrifying

• 44:07Dr. John Delony?

  or it was awesome, or it was like, kind of, kind of amazing, or like, I wanna throw up, I can't sleep, it's the image stuck in my head. That's the reason you go to breakfast every Tuesday over the course of five years, six years. It's the reason you drive your kid to school with the radio down. There's those reasons so that there's a relational context for when those things pop up. And, um, and you always enter those spaces not with, "Who showed you that? I'm gonna..." You show it with, "Man, thank you for sharing that. That sounds scary." Or, "Yeah, somebody that I shirt on is pretty amazing. That's why it's bounded in this context, right? That's why it's important to..." So, I, you, you're gentle and you open with curiosity, but kids are gonna see stuff, kids are gonna see stuff. That doesn't mean, because I hear

• 44:51Dr. John Delony?

  this all the time, "They're gonna see you at school, so I might as well..." That's insane. That's like saying, "My kid might get punched in a, by a bully, so I'm just gonna hit him all the..." Like stupid. That's just stupid. Um, and there's, I mean, we're, I'm over the top as a parent and, um, but especially when my son was younger, when he was in middle school and elementary school, we would, if he was going to a place where there's unfettered phones and internet, he wouldn't let it go. I just said, he just said no. And thankfully, the parents were always so gracious and cool and, so.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  All right. Can you pick a couple of your tattoos and tell us the story behind them?

• 45:30Dr. John Delony?

  Um, I guess, yeah. You want me to take my shirt off?

• 45:40Speaker 01

  I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but yes.

• 45:42Dr. John Delony?

  You've been asking for that forever, Kelly. It would help the YouTube show. Um, yeah, I guess. Let me see here. Um, all right, let's see here. So, here's a funny one. Um, so I had this little just gap right here. So I got these prayer hands. Have I told you all about this?

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, you told me, so I don't know if everybody else knows.

• 46:04Dr. John Delony?

  So I got these prayer hands. Um, I saw them on Old Social Distortion, something or other, and I thought they were cool. Um, but my daughter, they're praying hands. But my daughter, Josephine, when I came home, she was like, "Why did you get a tattoo of somebody clapping for you on your own arm?" And I was like, and she said something like, "Do you need that?" Or, I was so like, such a skewer. I think she was six or seven. Um, the cardinal is, my, my grandmother had collected porcelain birds. As a little boy, I wasn't allowed to touch them. And I always wanted to. And there was a bluebird and a redbird in my eye line as a little boy. And right before she died, she gave me both of those. And after I got this tattoo, I got it downtown New Orleans. Super sketchy, but it was good.

• 46:48Dr. John Delony?

  And I then came to find out that Cardinals, the myth of the Cardinal is it's somebody that you've lost is visiting you. And so I spent a ton of time out in the woods and whenever I'm hunting or just out there in the woods, quiet and a red bird comes, a Cardinal comes, I always just smile. And I think of my grandmother. And when I see a bluebird, I just, I pretend it's my granddad and it's cool. And even the other day, a bluebird came and sat right next to me while I was in a tree. And it just sat there and I got this overwhelming sense of peace. And out of nowhere, I texted my sister and said, this is gonna sound crazy, but I just heard from granddad. And he said, whatever you're working through, it's gonna be alright.

• 47:30Dr. John Delony?

  And she texted me back. She goes, well, when I get done crying, I'll call you. And I guess she'd been working. So it was just a cool little serendipitous is what it is.

• 47:41Dr. John Delony?

  This was the last Christmas card or birthday card my grandmother wrote me. It just said, we love you. And I had that, they took it and tattooed them. So I'm just a sentimental guy.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 47:51Dr. John Delony?

  And I got this one because of demons and dragons. I don't know. I'm just like the least hard guy there is.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  Alright, so last one. If you could pick three headliners for Delone Cell, what bands are you choosing?

• 48:08Dr. John Delony?

  Delone Cell. It would be The Avett Brothers and Turnstile and

• 48:24Dr. John Delony?

  My Weekly Low. That's our Great choice. Great choice. Dump button. No, I would not pick that band.

• 48:40Dr. John Delony?

  I don't know. Who else would I pick?

• 48:42Speaker 01

  I don't know, I can't tell you that.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Pantera?

• 48:47Dr. John Delony?

  I'm trying to think. Yeah, I mean, OG, if I could bring him back from, like, two of them have passed away.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Like 92, Pantera.

• 48:53Dr. John Delony?

  That would have been tough. Turnstile and the Avett Brothers could work. Pantera and the Avett Brothers would be a little bit of a stretch.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Hey, it's your show, be whoever you want.

• 48:59Dr. John Delony?

  It is my show.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 49:03Dr. John Delony?

  You know who else I would bring out? Like, 85 Run DMC.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 49:10Dr. John Delony?

  85 Run DMC and License to Ill Beastie Boys.

• 49:16Dr. John Delony?

  But they had already written Ill Communication, so they would play some of those songs even though that record wasn't out yet. And then the Avett Brothers would come on and shut the whole thing down. And, God, can I just tell you this? Of all the concerts I've ever seen, in the top five, in the top five, which is a bold statement,

• 49:38Dr. John Delony?

  Mumford and Sons absolutely annihilated the place that I saw them. It was three dudes and they had, like, another couple of guys, like, kind of on background instruments. I've never seen anything like it.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've never seen them live, but I've heard they're amazing.

• 49:53Dr. John Delony?

  It was something to behold, how great it was. And so if they showed up as a surprise guest, that'd be kind of cool. I'm not even a huge Mumford and Sons fan. I just remember leaving, being like, there's no way I just saw that. Like, three dudes come out, or four dudes, and just melt 16,000 people in this closed-air basketball gym. It's pretty cool. But I love the Avett Brothers with all my heart, and Turnstile is just the best. They're the best live band out right now, so...

• 50:21Dr. John Delony?

  I don't know. Who would you have?

• 50:26Dr. John Delony?

  Michael Luby Smith for sure, Steven Kirsch Chapman for sure.

• 50:31Speaker 01

  Let's just say no. It would probably be...

• 50:37Speaker 01

  19, like, 92 Guns N' Roses. So, you know, original lineup.

• 50:45Dr. John Delony?

  So you'd have to go to church before and then after?

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Actually, because 92 was the last time I saw them, so, so good. I saw them and Metallica same day in a festival. Ah, it's amazing. Anyway.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Teddy Swims.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  And, this is a random concert.

• 51:10Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, there's lots of fistfights in the parking lot already.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then I'm gonna make it even worse, George Strait.

• 51:16Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, George Strait. Yeah, in my top 10.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, just the amount of, just the catalog alone of George Strait. So, it's a very eclectic concert right there.

• 51:27Dr. John Delony?

  I just remember Chris Stapleton walked out at the Ryman and just started playing this one song. I've never heard an audience that quiet. It was like we were witnessing something very spiritual.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  One of my best concerts ever was Stapleton at the Ryman, just a few years ago.

• 51:43Dr. John Delony?

  It's unbelievable.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  I had the chance to see him again at the big stadium here, and I was like, I'm good, I've seen him at the Ryman. I'm good.

• 51:49Dr. John Delony?

  There's no way a human has that much talent and that much kindness. Like, everyone talks about him in town like he's the kind, if I could, if people would talk about me, one quarter of how nicely they talk about him. Like, like he is just the greatest human being. Anyway, yes, okay, so Turnstile would open.

• 52:11Dr. John Delony?

  Who did I say?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Avet Brothers, Turnstile, and then you, Run DMC, Beastie Boys.

• 52:18Dr. John Delony?

  You know who else would come out? Early 2000s, late 90s, Counting Crows, back when they were in their heyday.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Back when the Brothers were still both in the band.

• 52:27Dr. John Delony?

  Gosh, they were amazing.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got to see them in concert in...

• 52:31Dr. John Delony?

  No, that's the Black, you're talking about Black Crows. Yes, I loved it. I would, I want an All Birds concert.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Counting Crows, Black Crows.

• 52:38Dr. John Delony?

  Black Crows and the Avet Brothers. That would be cool. There'd be lots of drugs at that show. Being used by you. Me, I'm sober, but she is not.

• 52:50Dr. John Delony?

  Man. What's your favorite tattoo you have, and why?

• 52:56Speaker 01

  No. I have none, literally zero.

• 53:00Dr. John Delony?

  God, you lie, and you lie, and you lie. The truth's gonna come out. We're in the age of the internets. Your Wikipedia page. Let's do that. We're gonna get a, I'm on it, a body composition that, no, not a body composition.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  But if people will stick around for the outro, I have a fun question kind of around that.

• 53:23Dr. John Delony?

  We'll be right back. All right, we are back. As we wrap up the show, Kelly, you have one more?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Yes, somebody sent this in.

• 53:30Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  If you could 100% design Kelly's next tattoo without her having any say, what would it be?

• 53:38Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, no question about it. No question. It would be Deloney in Old English across her shoulders. I mean.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Not happening.

• 53:51Dr. John Delony?

  No question about that. Like, right now, you have those two middle finger tattoos on each shoulder blade, like where the wings would go if you had gotten, like, you have those two giant middle fingers. I would go over the tops of the fingers with just the word "Deloney" in Old English. It'd be so good.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  I thought you said I was...

• 54:10Dr. John Delony?

  And when you're always wearing those white beater, like, those take-top things, it would look so rad.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  I thought I was done with my Old English face.

• 54:15Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, I'd bring it back for the Deloney tattoo. Yeah, I would. Because when you used to run, you, you, you were associate producer of Dave Ramsey Show Forever, and you have, like, Ramsey in Old English, like, in that circle right over the top of your belly button.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, he pays me.

• 54:31Dr. John Delony?

  That's true. I don't pay anything. Yeah, we all, we all can tell, like, Kelly's a volunteer spirit, right? She's just doing this one. Old PBL pro bono.

• 54:43Speaker 01

  Well, he still pays me, so, you know.

• 54:45Dr. John Delony?

  Here we go. Here we go. Death Row is the label that pays you.

• 54:55Dr. John Delony?

  None of y'all know that? Oh my gosh.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  I know that.

• 54:57Dr. John Delony?

  Y'all are...

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Taylor just goes, "What?"

• 54:58Dr. John Delony?

  Y'all break my heart.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  She's a, you know, a lot younger than we are.

• 55:02Dr. John Delony?

  What would be the three bands at, at, at Taylorpalooza?

• 55:09Speaker 03

  I genuinely don't know, but I was thinking if you ask me, I'm saying like Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, just to really, really put in there that I'm millennial.

• 55:22Dr. John Delony?

  But those are like classic rock to you now.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  You're right. Avril Lavigne, all of them. They're, they're classic.

• 55:29Dr. John Delony?

  She was a skater boy, said, "See you later, boy." I might have Avril show up and play a song or two.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  She played here a couple, about two months ago, and I know some people that went and said she was amazing.

• 55:37Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, I saw her and she brought the house down. It was me, three other dads, and 14,000 screaming middle school girls. And that part was kinda awkward, but Avril crushed. Avril crushed. What about you, Ben?

• 55:51Speaker 02

  I think I would do like pop punk, like emo from like the 2000s, like Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, like from their original album.

• 56:00Dr. John Delony?

  Oh dude.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  Like, stuff like that. It'd be rad.

• 56:03Dr. John Delony?

  Thanks for saying that in public. That was a brave thing that you just said out loud. This show's about bravery.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  Wasn't easy.

• 56:09Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 56:12Dr. John Delony?

  And Nate Dogg would just have his strange xylophone bells things that he listens to.

• 56:17Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:18Dr. John Delony?

  Just ta ta ti ti ta.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  I'd say like My Chemical Romance, Green Day. Those would be my top two.

• 56:26Dr. John Delony?

  Again, the amount of drug use that goes on behind that, that screen, behind the glass. Hey, thank y'all for being with us. If you're still listening, I know your holidays are not going well for you, so I hope they will go better for you. And, uh, man, I love you, love you, love you, love you. Thank you so much for being with us. We'll be back soon.