Pod Insights Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks The Mummy's Curse & Other Horrific Deaths by Animal with Sammy Smart About this episode Wes concocted another episode with which to horrify friend of the show Sammy Smart of Too Scary; Didn't Watch fame. We're lucky to have a friend like her!
Watch here: https://youtu.be/2QFCSvyu1eg
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Transcript 18,808 words · 10 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Wes Larson? All of you Tooth and Claw listeners know I love a good story and that's why I want to tell you about What Was That Like? What does it feel like to get hit by a car while you're biking, or be attacked by an alligator, or learn that your spouse hired someone to kill you? If those are the kind of stories you find interesting, then What Was That Like is the podcast for you. What Was That Like is filled with real stories about the most surreal experiences of people's lives. On each episode, a guest comes on and tells about the time they found themselves in some kind of extreme situation. It could be an animal attack, hello, Tooth and Claw listeners, a plane crash, winning the showcase on The Price is Right, one of my personal dreams, and more. The show brings you tons of completely surreal, completely true stories, all told through the lens of the person who actually experienced it.
0:45 Wes Larson? Check out some of these topics that I know will be especially interesting to you Tooth and Claw listeners. Episode 178, John was attacked by a tiger, a guy in Russia who was attacked by a tiger and only had a road flare to defend himself. Or episode 41, Lauren was attacked by a monkey, a primate specialist who was working with howler monkeys and ended up having a pretty crazy experience with one of them. So if you want to hear some unbelievable and inspiring firsthand stories, I invite you to check out What Was That Like? Every story is verified, so you know even the most bizarre tales are someone's reality. Listen to What Was That Like on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or the app you're using right now.
1:37 Jeff Larson? Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tooth and Claw Podcast. We are the Three Foodie Boys. Today, we will be talking about whether plain old cheese pizza is better or pepperoni pizza. Wes, I'll kick it to you.
1:49 Wes Larson? Yeah, I like cheese. I'm a cheese guy. Cheese. Sammy? Cheese. Yeah, Sammy, what do you think?
1:55 Speaker 02 I, pepperoni. Am I the lone pepperoni over here?
1:59 Wes Larson? I like pepperoni, too. It's hard to decide.
2:02 Speaker 02 Thank you.
2:03 Jeff Larson? Now, Wes, go ahead and introduce our guest.
2:05 Wes Larson? Yeah, we're joined again by our good friend Sammy Smart from Too Scary Didn't Watch. We only collaborate with podcasts where if you type "too" into the search bar, that podcast comes up. So Sammy, we're very happy to have you on the show again. The Too Fast Too Furious Podcast. Yeah, exactly. It's our other favorite.
2:28 Speaker 02 I'm delighted to be back with you guys and excited to see what we have in store for this spooky episode.
2:34 Wes Larson? Hold that thought about being delighted.
2:36 Jeff Larson? Two girls, one cup.
2:37 Mike Smith? I feel like at this point, we're kind of like, we could really just be held accountable for harassment at this point. Just once a year, we bring Sam, we trot her out and inflict some emotional damage. We're like, alright, see you next time.
2:48 Jeff Larson? Wes just comes up with the worst thing he can.
2:50 Wes Larson? I did it again, guys. I did it again.
2:52 Speaker 02 Boy.
2:53 Wes Larson? The whole-
2:54 Speaker 02 Worse than leeches in the butt?
2:56 Wes Larson? I just want to say, the episode has a lot of stuff that's not that bad, but there's one bit that is quite bad. So I'm just prepping everyone for that. There's one, this is kind of a multi-story episode, and one of those stories is horrific.
3:12 Jeff Larson? Well, before we get to the story, I feel like we need to help Mike out a little bit, so he wasn't on our last episode. And I just want to do a correction corner. There's a lot of chatter about, somehow we were trying to compliment him and we ended up just throwing in a line that he's mean to service workers?
3:32 Wes Larson? Which isn't true. It's not true at all.
3:35 Mike Smith? That wasn't a nightmare. I didn't just wake up from a bad dream.
3:38 Jeff Larson? The one episode you skip, where you just like, really put your name through the dirt for no reason.
3:45 Mike Smith? My two best friends got on our audience of, international audience of thousands and thousands of listeners. And Wes was like, oh, Mike's a pretty nice guy. And Jeff was like, well, I don't know about that. I want to know what you witnessed in India is my big question. Like, that, to me, I thought, maybe I'll just have you recount it real quick. Sorry, Sammy. This is like, inner turmoil, inner podcast drama, but-
4:06 Wes Larson? I started to say, Mike is incredibly kind to people, even random people. And then Jeff interjected the India thing. And to Mike's, in Mike's defense, the TSA, the Indian equivalent of TSA- They were really hard to deal with. Like you had to pull apart every single electronic you had in your bag. And I don't remember Mike being particularly put off by it more so than the rest of us.
4:34 Mike Smith? I don't remember saying anything to any of them. So I'm just curious what you had in your brain, Jeff, for that, like, for that specific instance to be brought up to castigate me, just a blanket statement that I mean to service workers everywhere. Anyway, I'm over. I don't, I really don't care. We're over it. So.
4:51 Speaker 02 Did you get a lot of shit from the listeners, Mike?
4:53 Mike Smith? Kinda. I got like a few Discord messages, private messages. And then I guess like a Reddit thread popped up.
4:59 Wes Larson? There's a full, someone made like a full Reddit, like, is Mike mean to service workers? He is not. I'm gonna say it definitively. And this isn't just us trying to cover our bases. What I was trying to say originally in that compliment is very true, that Mike is exceedingly kind to just about every person he ever meets.
5:19 Mike Smith? Except for you guys.
5:20 Wes Larson? And you wouldn't expect it from his outward demeanor and like, kind of how he represents himself on the podcast. So it's corrected. We don't have to bring it up again. That is Mike's true nature. And it's what I meant to say in the first place. Let's move on to the episode. I'm glad you brought it up, Joe.
5:38 Wes Larson? Sammy, thanks for joining us. I've been on their podcast a few times. Sammy's been here a few times, mostly during October. Well, you're one of our favorite guests. I'm just gonna say it.
5:48 Speaker 02 I love to be here and I'm thrilled to hear it. It's a huge honor. So thank you for having me.
5:54 Wes Larson? There's a specific part of this episode that I was saving just for you. And that's why we're doing it today. And I think you'll know it when it comes up. It's gonna be toward the end. But just so you know, there's part of this episode that's about you. Mike originally sent me the idea. And then I workshopped it a little bit. So we'll get to it. Yeah.
6:13 Speaker 02 I'm giddy and I'm scared.
6:15 Wes Larson? There's not much scarier than. What do you want me to do during that part? Just, I want you to be as quiet as possible. Just leave. No, I want you to stay. Alright, so there's not much scarier than death, right? Death is one of the scariest things that faces all of us. Tax season, push back a little.
6:32 Mike Smith? Getting a splinter under your fingernail.
6:35 Wes Larson? We're not gonna get through today's episode ever. There's a whole franchise devoted to death, you know, popular horror movies with Final Destination. I think it's something that every human, whether or not you think you're afraid of it, you might be on your deathbed. We just don't know. What's your guys' favorite Final Destination movie, by the way?
6:55 Jeff Larson? First one.
6:56 Wes Larson? Mine's three.
6:57 Speaker 02 Mine's two.
6:59 Wes Larson? Okay. Whoa. It actually might be the latest one for me. I don't care for those movies, but that one was, it was doing something, it was cooking. I like, I like the Mary Elizabeth Weinstein one, but.
7:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, she's great. She brings so much to it and no, she just, it's such a funny contrast between her and every other actor in that movie. It's great.
7:21 Wes Larson? Yeah. Two has the best setup, I think. The logs into are the best. Yeah. Anyway, we're gonna get into some deaths that seem kind of Final Destination-y, but they all involve animals. And we're not gonna really spend a lot of time on any of these stories. So we're gonna leave some meat on the bone is what I'm trying to say. So listeners, at some point you may hear one of these stories again. Uh, with like a much deeper dive. We recently did that with another story.
7:52 Wes Larson? Our recent Pullover episode, Mike had done on a subscriber story and I retold it. I leave you guys alone for one week. You steal my story, you insult me and I come back. When you told that story, I said, we'll probably do this as a main feed episode someday and we did. All right. Okay. This list comes with a big old warning that some of these stories.
8:10 Jeff Larson? Was Jeff paying attention for that? Would have been funny. Well, actually, I don't even remember the first time we told it.
8:20 Wes Larson? This list comes with a big warning that some of these stories are pretty old, some of them even thousands of years old. So take them with a grain of salt. Even the ones that are a little bit more modern, just realize that none of these are very new stories. And because of that, we're going over them as they were recorded. There's probably some myth. And apocryphal things that have kind of crept into some of these stories. So just take all of them with a grain of salt. Okay, we're gonna start with Heraticlis or Heraclitus. Heratic, yeah. Whoa. Let us.
8:55 Jeff Larson? If they're listening, we apologize.
8:57 Wes Larson? Yeah. Butcher. I doubt he's listening. He was a pre Socratic Greek philosopher who by all accounts was a pretty weird dude. Sounds like he was pretty good at annoying just about everyone he came in contact with. So he was known as the obscure because of his cryptic teachings. And he was also called the weeping philosopher because he was pretty melancholic. He was like very sad and like talking about sad things. Today, he's best known for saying you cannot step in the same river twice. Because water is always moving. So when you step in a river a second time, the water will have changed. Wisdom. Yeah, pretty smart. Words to live by. Yeah. Uh, yeah. How would you implement that in your day to day life, Jeff?
9:41 Jeff Larson? I think like, uh, if I was like really good at sports after a loss, I'd say something like some bullshit like that. Yeah. Like if I was like a NFL quarterback. With four interceptions and then they're asking me like, what happened? I'd be like, can't step in the same river twice.
10:00 Jeff Larson? That's, that's well said.
10:01 Wes Larson? You did, if you, you did throw four interceptions. Tell the same story on a podcast twice.
10:07 Jeff Larson? You can tell the same story twice for sure.
10:11 Wes Larson? All right. Well, weird Greek philosophers really like to die in strange ways. And this guy really went for it. I'll set up the scene. Basically, he got so tired of people and they got so tired of him that he decided to go live a solitary life in the mountains. And when he did there, he did his best just to live on grass and herbs. So that's really all he was eating. Turns out it wasn't enough. And this new diet gave him dropsy. And dropsy is kind of the old timey word for edema. So essentially like all of his tissues and whatnot swelled with fluid. So he's like, okay, I gotta get out of the mountains. I gotta go back down to civilization and try and find a cure.
10:50 Wes Larson? But when he went to the physicians, rather than just tell them what he had, he presented them with a riddle and said whether.
10:59 Wes Larson? Which you do, right, Sammy?
11:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:00 Wes Larson? When you go to the doctor?
11:01 Speaker 02 You don't wanna, you don't wanna give it straight to the doctor. You wanna make him work for it a little bit.
11:06 Wes Larson? The doctor's like, what's wrong with you? And you're like, answer my riddles three first. Anyway, what he said was whether or not the doctors were able to produce a drought after wet weather. So the doctors were confused what might be going on with him and they weren't able to help him. So he decided just to take his matters into his own hands. And what he thought was, okay, if I rub a bunch of cow dung on myself, certainly when it dries, it'll suck the fluid out of my body and get rid of these bad humors that he had inside of him. So, quick spoiler, he ends up dying from this, but there is some debate over how it happens. Some people say he asphyxiated under this huge pile of cow dung.
11:51 Wes Larson? Some say he baked himself to death in the sun, trying to dry out all of this cow dung. And then there's the reason why he's on this list. Some people say that he was ripped apart by feral dogs while he was covered in this cow dung, which seems like a particularly terrible death and why we included him on the list. Uh, Sammy, do you have any idea how dogs might kill their prey?
12:15 Speaker 02 I mean, with their tearing them, tearing them apart with their jaws?
12:21 Wes Larson? Yeah, that's a pretty good guess.
12:23 Mike Smith? Not with like a knife or something?
12:24 Wes Larson? No.
12:29 Wes Larson? They don't have, they're not an animal that has like claws, or they do have claws, but they don't kill their prey with their claws.
12:35 Mike Smith? That question was so obvious, Wes, that you had like kinda tricked us into thinking that there was like a secret answer.
12:42 Wes Larson? We talk about, we talk about big cats on this podcast and big cats will dispatch their prey. They'll like strangle or separate vertebrae, or they'll do something to kill them quickly. And what I was trying to get at here is that dogs don't do that. Dogs will literally do what you just said, Sammy, tear them apart with their mouths. They're not trying to kill it quickly. They're just trying to tear it apart. So it's a, it's an especially horrible way to die. We talked about it last year with you with the wolf episode.
13:11 Speaker 02 Right.
13:12 Wes Larson? It's not a good way to go. So that's why he was included in this. Um, oh, and also we're going to do seven total stories. And at the end, I'm going to have you guys say which were the three worst of these historical deaths.
13:23 Jeff Larson? You think it's worse than like being baked in cow dung?
13:26 Speaker 02 I was gonna say, well, this one has three already.
13:28 Wes Larson? Yeah.
13:30 Jeff Larson? Maybe if he would have like rubbed dry cow dung on himself and then his water would have absorbed into it.
13:37 Speaker 02 It was a crazy plan all around.
13:39 Jeff Larson? It's a bad drying out on you, you know, means the water went into you.
13:44 Wes Larson? Right. It's a bad idea. So if you have dropsy out there, first of all, uh,
13:49 Speaker 02 Give it to the doctors straight.
13:51 Wes Larson? Tell the doctors exactly what's wrong. You don't need to give them riddles and then don't rub cow dung on yourself. Okay, we're going to move right along. Jeff, you live in, you live in England, you're living in England in 1703. How worried are you about tigers?
14:08 Jeff Larson? Hmm. I'm probably more worried about how they like travel back forward in time to get back here.
14:15 Wes Larson? Yeah, that's a good point. And you're concerned about not changing anything too.
14:21 Jeff Larson? Yeah. Don't touch anything. Don't meet yourself. But yeah, I, you know, I wouldn't have tigers on the brain at all.
14:29 Wes Larson? Okay. Well, if you worked at the White Lion Tavern in Malmesbury in 1702.
14:34 Jeff Larson? I'd be worried about lions.
14:36 Wes Larson? Yeah, you shouldn't be. You should be pretty worried about tigers. According to accounts from the time, a traveling menagerie.
14:43 Jeff Larson? Make you feel comfortable that there's no tigers there by calling it lion.
14:47 Wes Larson? Yeah, that's a good point. Uh, well, it worked in this, in this situation because a traveling menagerie was in the area. They were using the grounds at the tavern as a place to store some of their attractions, most notably a particularly ferocious Bengal tiger. And Hannah Twenoy was a 34 year old barmaid that worked at this tavern. And apparently she got really bored at times. And as a distraction, she loved to harass this tiger. Sammy, do you think tigers are a good animal to pester and harass? It's a good question, Les. Another zinger.
15:25 Speaker 02 Another really tricky one.
15:26 Wes Larson? Another softball for Sammy.
15:29 Speaker 02 I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with no. I think it's probably bad.
15:31 Wes Larson? Yes or no? You're right. I guarantee you're right. Wow. Two out of two. Oh, gosh. You are right. It's a really bad idea. I can't believe Mike and Jeff are giving me shit for asking questions. Cause every episode they'll do, they'll be like, hey Jeff, what do you think about football? All right.
15:51 Wes Larson? That's a good question. I want to hear the answer.
15:55 Wes Larson? It's a really bad idea to harass a captive tiger. Anyone that's listened to our show extensively has probably listened to our first available episode. They would know how poorly it can go. Uh, we talk about some, some kids in a zoo that harassed a tiger and it was so determined to get them that it did get out and it killed.
16:13 Jeff Larson? Tatiana.
16:13 Wes Larson? One of them. Yeah. Tatiana, the more tiger. Apparently the guy that owned this tiger kept telling Hannah to stop, but she just had to get that fixed. You know, just had to harass that tiger. Nothing else to do. Finally, this big cat, yeah, this big cat got so enraged that it managed to break out of its enclosure and it made a beeline for Hannah. Grabbing her by the dress, pulling her to the ground and then tearing her to ribbons. She would be the first person to get killed by a tiger in Great Britain. And a silver lining was that she would get a headstone because her death was so strange. Cause at the time, people that didn't have like a, a certain class or money or whatever, they generally weren't given headstones.
16:55 Wes Larson? And her headstone is actually engraved with a poem, which I'm going to read for you guys. In bloom of life, she snatched from hence, she had not room to make defense. For tiger fierce took life away and here she lies in a bed of clay until the resurrection day. Oh, that's kinda sick. Which is great. Yeah.
17:13 Jeff Larson? That's why they gave her the headstone. They just thought of the rhyme first.
17:17 Wes Larson? Yeah.
17:18 Jeff Larson? This is too good.
17:20 Wes Larson? The local, whoever does, it's like, I got some bars actually. That's.
17:27 Wes Larson? I wonder what I want. I need to plan out what I'm going to have on my headstone. Have you guys thought about that at all? Like what? No. No? I don't want a headstone. I don't think. You're not. I just want to be cremated and dispersed.
17:37 Jeff Larson? I want it just to be like, here's this guy who now is dead.
17:42 Wes Larson? Oh, come on.
17:44 Speaker 02 I mean, it sounds like Hannah didn't get to pick hers. Maybe, maybe I'll just, you know, let someone else riff. Sounds like they had a good time.
17:50 Wes Larson? Some British poet.
17:52 Jeff Larson? A poem would be cool.
17:53 Mike Smith? Do you know what I want on my headstone is, uh, cause they always give the dates which you lived and died by. So it'd be like 1988 to like 2,500. That'd be sick if I live that long.
18:07 Wes Larson? All right. So that's story number two. I hope you guys can keep these all in your heads. All right. What's your?
18:13 Jeff Larson? Can you just make up on your headstone how you died? Could I say like, here lies Jeff Larson. He was bitten by a zombie and then killed by his tribe of people because they didn't want to get infected?
18:27 Wes Larson? I would imagine so. Yeah.
18:29 Speaker 02 Yeah. Who's gonna stop you? I feel like.
18:31 Wes Larson? The headstone police.
18:33 Jeff Larson? Might have laws against. Arrest me.
18:37 Speaker 02 Did you see that episode of Sorry Nathan For You?
18:40 Wes Larson? No, you're good.
18:42 Speaker 02 Where he, uh, helps a woman with like a pet adoption place by buying a headstone at a pet cemetery and being like, get your next pet by going to this pet adoption place. And the people at the pet cemetery get really upset. So, so there is known to be some pushback at a cemetery based on what's on the headstones.
19:04 Wes Larson? And if they get upset with, if they get upset with Mike, he'll lose his shit.
19:09 Mike Smith? I'll be so mad.
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22:31 Wes Larson? All right. Mike, what's your favorite scene in Return of the King? Or at least your favorite when you first saw it in theaters?
22:37 Mike Smith? Oh, it's when Sam, face down, she-love, of course.
22:41 Wes Larson? Okay. That's not the answer I wanted. I'm gonna keep going till I get it. Jeff, what was your favorite scene?
22:47 Jeff Larson? I like when they finish that little bit of water. And then they fall over and then it like turns into a painting.
22:54 Wes Larson? All right, I'm not, that's definitely not what I was looking for either.
22:57 Speaker 02 You're not gonna get it over here, Wes.
22:59 Wes Larson? Sammy, okay, all right. I think a lot of people's favorite scene when they first saw that movie is kind of a silly one now, but it's where Legolas kills the oliphant. Where he like runs up on top of it, shoots the arrows into its head, slides down its trunk and lands. When I first saw that movie, I loved that scene. Yeah, it was a great scene.
23:21 Speaker 02 It's a crowd pleaser, yeah. It's a good one.
23:22 Mike Smith? Yeah, that's like, that's not even top 10, dude.
23:26 Wes Larson? All right. It's also a great scene.
23:27 Mike Smith? It only counted as one.
23:29 Wes Larson? It's also the part where Yomer, Yomer?
23:33 Mike Smith? Aomer.
23:34 Wes Larson? What's this? Aomer, yeah. Aomer throws the spear and-
23:36 Jeff Larson? He killed like 10 people.
23:39 Wes Larson? Aomer throws the spear and kills the guy that's riding the oliphant and he steers it into the other one and they both died. Also a great scene. Well, that pretty much happened in 162 B.C. but with some slight key differences that we're going to get into. This was a time when the Greek Empire was spreading and a group of Jewish rebels named the Maccabees were fighting against the Greeks. And their battles were being led by Judas Maccabeus, but these Jews were fighting against some really steep odds. You see, the Greek army had a lot of infantry. They had a lot of cavalry, and then they had 80 war elephants. So war elephants are exactly what you're picturing. They're big elephants that were decked out in armor and that soldiers would ride to fight enemy troops.
24:24 Wes Larson? Wow, they ride on them? Mm hmm. So when the Maccabees first encountered these elephants, they were pretty intimidated and their troops began to flee. So the brave brother of Judas Maccabeus, who is named Elizor Aviran, decided to prove that these elephants were not invincible. He rallied his men, and then in a heroic act of bravery, he charges headfirst towards the nearest war elephant, flings himself under the huge animal, and stabs his sword upward into the belly. Also, kind of like Lord of the Rings with Shelob. Uh, here's where the story differs a little bit from Lord of the Rings. The real-life war elephant proceeded to immediately stomp him into oblivion in front of his horrified
25:06 Wes Larson? men, killing him instantly. So his charge did not have the intended effect, and the Maccabees would retreat, and they would go on to lose this battle against the Greeks. Yeah.
25:17 Jeff Larson? That's crazy.
25:17 Speaker 02 Do you think he got, like, covered in elephant guts and stuff too while that was hap- like, did he slice open the belly and then?
25:24 Wes Larson? At least some blood, yeah. I mean, it wasn't a good death, but it was quick.
25:29 Speaker 02 It'll be quick, yeah.
25:30 Wes Larson? But really embarrassing.
25:32 Speaker 02 There's one thing I had to guess about being stomped by elephants.
25:35 Wes Larson? It's quite quick, yeah.
25:39 Jeff Larson? That's crazy. We don't still like do that in the military. Have war elephants? Yeah.
25:46 Mike Smith? No, dude.
25:47 Jeff Larson? The second panic war.
25:49 Mike Smith? You know Hannibal, he tried to use elephants. That it, that didn't work. It was to poor effect.
25:55 Wes Larson? There was actually, after these battles, there was actually like a resolution drafted that they couldn't use elephants anymore.
26:02 Jeff Larson? Like cheating.
26:04 Wes Larson? They were like too, it was too effective and scary. Yeah.
26:08 Jeff Larson? Too effective.
26:08 Wes Larson? Which is pretty wild. Yeah.
26:10 Speaker 02 Wow.
26:11 Wes Larson? All right. So Judas, Macabeus, no, sorry. Elias are, uh, his brother is our next death. So keep that one in mind. All right. Do any of you know what a boom slang is?
26:22 Speaker 02 What Ash uses as an evil dad?
26:26 Speaker 02 Just kidding. That's boom, boomstick.
26:28 Wes Larson? Boomstick. Uh, close.
26:30 Jeff Larson? Boom slang.
26:31 Wes Larson? Boom slang. Not a Pokemon. Jeff, do you have a guess?
26:35 Jeff Larson? Does it kind of like what, uh, David used to kill Goliath?
26:39 Wes Larson? Also not.
26:41 Jeff Larson? Slang.
26:41 Wes Larson? Close. It's not.
26:43 Jeff Larson? The slang shot?
26:44 Wes Larson? It's a snake.
26:50 Wes Larson? It's a snake. It's a particularly venomous rear fang snake from Africa. They're green. They're beautiful. And there's a reason that rear fang snakes are often a less, a little bit less feared among venomous snakes. And that's because they really have to bite you to deliver their venom load. So because of that, they'll offer, they'll often deliver a dry bite, or they just like, won't really bite you hard enough to really inject any venom. If you're a survivor fan, you probably recently saw a guy get bit on Survivor by a rear fang snake. And it didn't deliver any venom. So that is common among these snakes. And because of that, in the 1950s, when herpetologists were working with rear fang snakes, they kind of were a little bit more careless with them.
27:35 Wes Larson? They thought that maybe they weren't that dangerous. We're still learning a lot about venomous snakes. And that's kind of the the background to this next story.
27:45 Jeff Larson? Well, you just said they're not as dangerous.
27:48 Wes Larson? Uh, they they are. It's just you. Okay. You're right. They're not as dangerous. But they deserve as much. They deserve as much respect as any other venomous snake. And they are highly venomous.
28:00 Jeff Larson? Get you pretty good stuff.
28:01 Speaker 02 You just gotta get like a full mouth bite.
28:04 Wes Larson? They have to get a good bite on you. Yeah.
28:06 Mike Smith? Can vampires dry bite? Sammy, you've seen vampires do their stuff, probably, right?
28:13 Speaker 02 Hmm.
28:14 Mike Smith? They have to be able to bite without turning, right?
28:17 Speaker 02 I think so.
28:18 Wes Larson? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's pretty common vampire lore that they have to like. Because a lot of vampire movies, you have to drink their blood to get turned.
28:27 Mike Smith? Get turned. Yeah. Like Little John.
28:29 Wes Larson? Thank you.
28:30 Mike Smith? In a vampire movie. Yeah.
28:32 Jeff Larson? And Sammy, how do you think a rear fanged snake bites someone?
28:37 Wes Larson? Shut up.
28:41 Wes Larson? With its mouth. Good job, Sammy.
28:46 Wes Larson? All right. So the most famous victim of the boom slang was unfortunately someone who knew very much about them and knew much better than to be careless. And that was Dr. Carl P. Schmidt of the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago. He's a herpetology legend. He really advanced the science in a long way during his life. But we're actually going to be talking about his death. So in September of 1957, a colleague sent him a live snake that he was having trouble identifying. Schmidt almost immediately recognized it as probably being a boom slang. But one that was quite young. And therefore didn't have some of its more noticeable characteristics. Because this is a rear fanged snake and because it was a younger specimen.
29:28 Wes Larson? He wasn't very careful when he was handling the snake and it bit him on the thumb. This is where the story gets a little bit more interesting and why I decided to include it because he's a scientist, he's obsessed with snakes. So what does he do? He decides to create this journal of every symptom that he feels during this, this process of being bitten by this boom slang. Yeah. So he kind of journals his own death.
29:53 Jeff Larson? Like Coyote Peterson kinda back in the
29:56 Wes Larson? Yeah, yeah, this is, I guess, in a way.
29:59 Mike Smith? I think everyone that keeps a journal in a way is eventually will have journaled their own death, you know, kinda.
30:06 Wes Larson? Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
30:08 Jeff Larson? I thought you were gonna say is
30:09 Wes Larson? In a way.
30:10 Speaker 02 Interesting.
30:10 Jeff Larson? Copying Coyote Peterson.
30:12 Wes Larson? He's not copying Coyote Peterson. All right. So he really didn't have that much information about the effects of boom slang venom, and he really wanted to document it. And so what we end up with is this diary of someone being killed by a gnarly kind of snake venom that makes you uncontrollably bleed from your mucous membranes. So at about 4:30 PM, he says he has strong nausea, but no vomiting as he takes the train to his house. At 5:30 PM, he starts to feel a strong chill and a fever and his body temperature's over 101 degrees, but more concerningly, his gums start to bleed profusely. At 8:30 PM, eats two pieces of milk toast, which is
30:55 Wes Larson? disgusting. And I just wanted to include that. Do you guys know what milk toast is?
31:00 Speaker 02 No, I don't actually.
31:02 Wes Larson? You just make toast and put it in like warm milk and then eat it like the sloppy toast. Yeah.
31:08 Jeff Larson? Why even toast it?
31:09 Wes Larson? Brent eats it, Mike. I know exactly. Our cousin didn't toast it. He would just put like white bread and milk.
31:15 Speaker 02 Well, that makes no more sense, milk bread, but the milk is negating the toast part.
31:20 Mike Smith? Yeah, that's like the Joey Chestnut move with the hot dog ones.
31:23 Jeff Larson? Maybe it's like croutons.
31:25 Wes Larson? Yeah, just kinda like
31:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, soggy, just like a soggy crunch.
31:28 Wes Larson? Soggy crunch. Yeah.
31:30 Speaker 02 All right, I'm back on that.
31:31 Mike Smith? Yeah, that's basically cereal at that point.
31:35 Wes Larson? Yeah. All right. He falls asleep at 9:00 PM and he actually sleeps pretty well until 12:20 AM. At 12:20 AM, he gets up to pee and he remarks that his pee is almost all blood. But he goes back to sleep at 4:30 a.m. He wakes back up.
31:52 Speaker 02 Is he just like resigned to dying at this?
31:54 Wes Larson? No, he thinks that this is like, he thinks this is just kind of a mildly venomous rear fang snake. That's not going to do much to him. He has no idea what he's in store for. All right. So at 4:30 a.m. He wakes up to drink some water and he immediately vomits up all of his milquetoast. Ah, don't you hate that? Isn't that the worst?
32:15 Speaker 02 Same texture coming back up.
32:17 Wes Larson? Exactly. Uh, you don't know what's milk and what's toast at that point. Then he feels better and he falls back asleep until 6:30 a.m. At 6:30 a.m. His temperature's come back down a bit, so he's feeling like he's kind of out of the woods. He eats breakfast and then he goes to pee again and now it's like an ounce of blood. It's just blood now. There's no urine whatsoever. His gums start bleeding again and his nose starts bleeding, but not excessively, just kind of a slow leak. He decides not to go to work and around lunch that day, he starts vomiting uncontrollably. Calls his wife and then when he's found by emergency personnel not long after he's soaked in sweat.
32:58 Wes Larson? He's nonverbal and he's profusely bleeding from his eyes. And then when they later do an autopsy on him, his kidneys, his lungs, his heart and his brain were also all profusely bleeding. He's rushed to the hospital, but he's pronounced dead on arrival. Boomslangs and rear fang snakes are now much more respected than they were at the time.
33:20 Speaker 02 Uh, not to get ahead of ourselves, but this one's pretty bad. This one's pretty bad. I'm keeping this one in mind.
33:26 Wes Larson? This is a dark, a dark horse for your top three.
33:30 Wes Larson? Okay. Uh, just you wait for the real bad one.
33:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's three more, right? So who, and who can say?
33:37 Wes Larson? Yeah.
33:38 Jeff Larson? What he would have wrote if he had like one more paragraph he could have wrote in his journal at the very end.
33:44 Wes Larson? This is actually quite bad.
33:46 Jeff Larson? There were men full of blood.
33:49 Speaker 02 Doctors around that he wanted to tell any riddles to?
33:52 Wes Larson? Yeah, exactly. Well, apparently, and I don't know if this is true or not, but like toward the end of this, when the doctors arrived, they, he still refused help because he felt like at this point, just knowing what happens was more important than him, like being safe or whatever. Yeah.
34:10 Jeff Larson? True scientist.
34:11 Wes Larson? Yeah. All right. I wouldn't do that.
34:14 Speaker 02 I also would not do that.
34:15 Wes Larson? Uh, I don't. I don't think so. I don't think they had antivenom at this point, but I'm not sure. So they had to suck it out, the old fashioned way? He did try to suck it out immediately when the snake first bit him.
34:27 Mike Smith? Oh geez.
34:28 Wes Larson? Idiot.
34:29 Mike Smith? You're peeing blood. That's not good.
34:34 Wes Larson? All right.
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38:46 Wes Larson? Okay, our next one's a really bad one. So
38:49 Speaker 02 Great.
38:50 Wes Larson? I didn't want to do this one. And Jeff, you may recall that in the early days of our podcast, you did an episode on ancient execution methods involving animals. And we actually, we sat on it for a while.
39:02 Jeff Larson? You were like, we can't put this one out. And then one week, we just didn't have an episode.
39:08 Wes Larson? Well.
39:08 Jeff Larson? Well, we can do Jeff's.
39:11 Wes Larson? Jeff's terrible episode. Yeah.
39:14 Speaker 02 Ancient execution methods in general, really bad. I'm not aware of the animal version one. So yeah.
39:19 Wes Larson? Yeah, they're not good. I found another one. It's really gross. So gross, in fact, that there's debate whether or not it was actually used. But the depictions of it are so detailed and there are a few like historians from those times that included these depictions that I do tend to think this was used. So have you guys ever heard of the term of scaphism? Yeah, I have.
39:43 Jeff Larson? No.
39:43 Speaker 02 No.
39:44 Wes Larson? Scaphism is pretty bad. It's pretty sweet. A soldier named Mithridates is said to have been killed using scaphism in the Persian Empire in about 500 B.C. And his story is actually pretty tragic. So this soldier, he heard that Cyrus the Younger, the brother of the king Arda Xerxes II, was plotting to kill the king. So this guy hears that the king's brother is trying to kill the king and he decides to kill the king's brother. The king is grateful and he tells this soldier not to tell anyone because he wants to take credit for killing his treacherous brother. And Mithridates says, Mithridates, I'm gonna say Mithridates, that's probably wrong, but that's how it's spelled.
40:27 Wes Larson? Says that he's not gonna tell anyone.
40:28 Mike Smith? Jeff talked about this guy.
40:29 Wes Larson? Really?
40:30 Mike Smith? Yeah, I remember us talking about Mithridates and scafism, but it doesn't matter.
40:34 Wes Larson? Okay, all right, so I'm doing it again. Two episodes in a row.
40:38 Speaker 02 It's new to me.
40:38 Wes Larson? I'm repeating stories. Yeah. Okay. All right. So we may have talked about this before in Jeff's episode. I'm not sure, but anyway.
40:45 Jeff Larson? We'll leave Mike saying that, I think.
40:47 Wes Larson? Mithridate, yeah. Mithridate says that he's not gonna tell anyone. The king says, I want to take credit for killing my brother. And Mithridate's like, fine. You know what? I, that's cool with me. No big deal. Then he gets drunk. And he starts boasting about how he killed Cyrus. And the king hears about this and he's pissed. And it's making him look like an idiot. So he says, you know what? We're gonna do scafism. We're gonna kill Mithridates with scafism. So what scafism is? Is essentially you take the person and you put them in a small boat. Their hull's cut for their head, their arms, and their legs. Then you put another boat that looks the exact same on top of that person.
41:29 Wes Larson? So both of the holes of the boat are pointing outward. Sammy, what's the hole of a boat? We talked about this on the episode I did on your show.
41:37 Speaker 02 This one's gonna stump me.
41:39 Mike Smith? This is actually a tricky one.
41:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, I have no idea.
41:41 Wes Larson? The hole is the bottom. It's like the keel of the boat and the hole of the boat. Yeah, the hole.
41:45 Speaker 02 I thought you were saying hole, like.
41:47 Wes Larson? No, sorry. You knew this. We talked about this on, on Too Scared to Watch.
41:50 Speaker 02 The hole's the bottom, obviously. Yeah, I knew. I would have, I would have known.
41:54 Wes Larson? So basically, this person looks like they're like.
41:56 Mike Smith? They just did it to make Sammy seem smarter.
42:01 Wes Larson? This person looks like they're in a beetle suit, uh, where their head is sticking out of like two boats. Their arms are sticking out and their feet are sticking out, but that's it. Okay? Once they do that, they nail these boats together and then they do something pretty terrible. And I don't really want to describe this in my own words, so I'm gonna quote a 12th century historian.
42:23 Jeff Larson? When I said it.
42:24 Wes Larson? When Jeff said this a long time ago. All right. Next, they pour a mixture of milk and honey into the wretched man's mouth till he is filled to the point of nausea, smearing his face, feet, and arms with the same mixture, and so leave him exposed to the sun. This was repeated every day, the effect being that flies, wasps, and bees, attracted by the sweetness, settle on his face and all such parts of him as project outside the boats, and miserably torment and sting the wretched man. Moreover, his belly, distended as it is with milk and honey, throws off liquid excrements, diarrhea, and these putrifying breeds of swarms of worms, intestinal and all sorts. Thus, the victim
43:09 Wes Larson? lying in the boats, his flesh rotting away in his own filth and devoured by worms, dies a lingering and horrible death.
43:17 Mike Smith? Ugh.
43:18 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, that one's bad.
43:20 Mike Smith? Candyman. Candyman wouldn't have even cared. He would have been like, this is actually kinda cool, all these bees.
43:26 Wes Larson? That's true.
43:27 Mike Smith? Or Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh would have been stoked about this punishment, just getting rubbed down with honey.
43:31 Wes Larson? Yeah. Their outside limbs are eaten by all these insects on the outside, and then on the inside, like maggots and worms and everything are eating them on the inside of this boat, because they're purposely making them shit themselves.
43:46 Speaker 02 What do we think is like the actual ultimate cause of death?
43:49 Wes Larson? Uh, it is, according to these historians, it's being eaten alive by worms, like maggots and stuff.
43:57 Mike Smith? Really?
43:57 Speaker 02 It's not dehydration after a couple days or something?
44:00 Wes Larson? No, because they would purposely keep them alive by giving them more milk and honey.
44:04 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, and more honey, of course.
44:05 Mike Smith? Yeah, reloading the diarrhea. That's too bad.
44:09 Wes Larson? It's a terrible way to die, and it's said that-
44:12 Speaker 02 They were so inventive back then. They really did a lot of, so many steps to these.
44:19 Jeff Larson? I wonder like what point he proved too. It's like, okay, so, obviously, that guy killed his brother. He's like pissed at him saying that.
44:28 Wes Larson? Right. Yeah. And that guy saved his life, you know? That's the worst part of it for me.
44:33 Jeff Larson? He went with his brother.
44:35 Mike Smith? This seems like one of those methods of execution where it's like, actually, did you know in Minnesota, it's still allowed to be put to death by scapism?
44:43 Jeff Larson? Yeah, right.
44:44 Mike Smith? You know?
44:45 Speaker 02 Right. They haven't technically outlawed it yet, so.
44:48 Mike Smith? Yeah.
44:49 Jeff Larson? Well, and I just like how-
44:50 Mike Smith? Let's go, Minnesota.
44:51 Jeff Larson? I remember telling that part. I think you did a good job telling like the more backstory behind it. I don't think I got the whole betrayal, talking about it thing. But I just like how you went from, we can't put that out to, we have to put that out twice. Twice.
45:11 Wes Larson? I'm sorry. All right. We've been doing this for a while now. Okay.
45:17 Wes Larson? So he, apparently he suffered for 17 days in the boat before he finally died, which you know, shows him to save the king. All right. This next one's a little spooky as well. It might trigger some particular fears in some of our listeners. So if you're very terrified of rodents, you might want to skip this one if you have like an irrational fear of rodents. But it's, it's a good one. In 1875, the Manchester Evening News reported on a death that happened at a South London factory. A woman was working at a table when suddenly she shrieked because a small mouse had ran onto the table and scared her. A nearby man who was working in the factory ran to help this woman. He grabbed this skittering rodent
45:58 Wes Larson? in an act of gallantry. And a shining moment quickly turned sour when this mouse ran up his sleeve. And when he opened his mouth to gasp, it ran into his mouth and disappeared down his throat.
46:11 Jeff Larson? No way. I guess it kind of looks like those little mouse holes in like the walls.
46:16 Wes Larson? Yeah.
46:19 Wes Larson? Where was this happening? This is in South London.
46:23 Jeff Larson? His mouth.
46:24 Wes Larson? I was gonna say, yeah. He had some cheese in there or something. Apparently at the time, there was some discussion whether or not a mouse could kill you by running into your mouth. And the Manchester Evening News reported that day, that a mouse can exist for a considerable time without much air has long been a popular belief and was unfortunately proved to be fact in the present instance. For the mouse began to tear and bite inside the man's throat and chest. And the result was that the unfortunate fellow died after a little time in horrible agony.
46:59 Mike Smith? What the heck?
47:00 Wes Larson? Yeah.
47:01 Speaker 02 That happens in Terrifier three and something else. Yeah.
47:04 Wes Larson? Oh, so telling this one again, too?
47:09 Speaker 02 It happens in another one, too, where they're like.
47:11 Jeff Larson? Well, it kinda happens in Too Fast Too Furious.
47:14 Speaker 02 Oh, my god.
47:16 Jeff Larson? Which is like a terrible movie and then all of a sudden just has like the coolest, most intense scene with a rat.
47:23 Wes Larson? Well, the new Batman movie, too, where he puts the rat cage on the guy's head, the newest Batman.
47:29 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
47:29 Mike Smith? That's bad.
47:30 Speaker 02 I love rats, but I wouldn't want to be killed by rats. Yeah, I don't think.
47:34 Wes Larson? No, we have yet to do our rat episode, but.
47:37 Jeff Larson? The book nineteen eighty-four, too. That's like one of the ways they.
47:42 Mike Smith? I think it happened.
47:43 Wes Larson? Well, this happened in real life.
47:44 Mike Smith? Stuart Little, too, I think it happened. So, wait, Terrifier three. Art, Art the Clown, it seems like he would only, he wants to be the guy killing everyone. So does he just let these mice have one of his victims? Or is there like a rivalry?
47:59 Speaker 02 No, he like builds a contraption that it's like a long tube that he shoves down a woman's throat and then has the rats crawl into it as he does his little silent laughing like.
48:11 Wes Larson? Yeah, I think he deserves credit for that, not not the rats.
48:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's a, it's a team effort.
48:16 Wes Larson? What if the woman was like, no, the rats, help me, Art.
48:20 Mike Smith? At least it was an old woman.
48:22 Wes Larson? Yeah.
48:23 Mike Smith? Wait, it was an old woman?
48:25 Speaker 02 I don't think it's she's that old.
48:27 Mike Smith? I'm just making that up then, sorry.
48:30 Wes Larson? In his mind, he's just picturing an old woman. Okay.
48:34 Jeff Larson? You were hoping.
48:36 Wes Larson? Oh, gosh. Speaking of old women, how old, how scary do you guys think mummies are on a scale of one to 10? Mummies.
48:45 Mike Smith? So mummies are weird because they're real, right?
48:48 Wes Larson? Right. So like a scary mummy, though.
48:50 Mike Smith? So that gets them points, too, just right off the bat.
48:53 Jeff Larson? But they're like tiny, right?
48:55 Mike Smith? For me, it's like a four. They're all shriveled.
48:58 Wes Larson? Raisins. They do kinda look like the California Raisin Men. They're all just like- They're kinda just a zombie, but like they're a, they're one with special powers. But like dressed modestly, which is nice.
49:11 Jeff Larson? Yeah, I feel like they're not that scary just because they don't seem, they don't seem very realistic or possible.
49:18 Wes Larson? Yeah.
49:18 Jeff Larson? But like if it was like actual mummies.
49:22 Speaker 02 Right.
49:22 Jeff Larson? They'd be like top scariest.
49:25 Speaker 02 I was gonna say, yeah, I'm not like worried about them in my day to day, but if I'm putting myself in the headspace of being in a place with a mummy with supernatural powers, then yeah, we're pu- we're pushing 10 there.
49:41 Wes Larson? That's true. They can do like plagues and stuff. Well, for me, their curses are much scarier than the actual mummy. I think that's what you guys are saying too. And one of the most famous examples of a potential mummy curse happened to George Herbert, first, their fifth Earl of Carnarvon. And Sammy, there's something you hate even more than mummies.
50:02 Speaker 02 Oh my god. Oh my god, don't tell me.
50:06 Wes Larson? Earls. Alright, so Lord Carnarvon was a rich dude in the early 1900s England, who like a lot of rich dudes, had the time and the money to do some pretty extreme hobbies. He really liked horse racing and he got super involved in that. And then with the advent of the motor car, he got really into motor car racing. He was a keen motor car driver, but in 1903, he suffered a serious accident in Germany and he never fully recovered.
50:30 Jeff Larson? You think like Seabiscuit back then would have dominated? Would be like Michael Jordan playing in like those early basketball videos, just putting like Seabiscuit out in those horse races?
50:43 Wes Larson? Yeah, right. Probably. Wasn't Seabiscuit back then? Wasn't Seabiscuit in like the early 1900s? Or was Seabiscuit more?
50:52 Jeff Larson? No, I thought he was recent.
50:54 Wes Larson? Okay, I don't know. I'm not up to date on my racing horses. Yeah, I don't think that was the real. The movie was recent.
51:02 Wes Larson? Okay. Uh, basically, he got hurt in a motorcar accident as doctor said, hey, no more motorcars. Time for new hobby. And from then on, he and his wife, Lady Carnarvon, decided to spend their winters in Egypt. And there he became a very enthusiastic amateur Egyptologist. We've all went through our Egypt phase. This guy just never got out of his. And he was actually like trading in antiquities and digging for things. He got really into it. So he started excavating tombs of nobles near Thebes, Egypt. And he employed British archaeologist Howard Carter to help him. And their main goal, and pretty much the main goal of every Egyptologist at the time, was to find the fabled tomb of the boy king Tutankhamun or King Tut.
51:47 Wes Larson? He was one of the most ancient pharaohs or one of the most famous ancient pharaohs. And he was thought to have died of malaria at the tender age of 18. Let's put a pin in that, that malaria death. Okay. All right. In 1914, Carnarvon got permission to dig in the Valley of Kings, which to me seems like the right place to dig if you're looking for King Tut. His work was interrupted by World War One, and then he resumed in 1917. But in 1922, they really hadn't found much. And Carnarvon, like most rich dudes, again with a new hobby, was starting to get a little bored. So he said this would be the last year that he would dig. And in November of 1922, he got word that his team had found something exciting,
52:30 Wes Larson? a tomb that was still sealed, so it was still completely intact. He accompanied his daughter, Lady Evelyn Herbert. A quick little trivia here. Her name's Evelyn, and if you guys remember the, the movie, The Mummy, Rachel Weisz's character is named Evelyn, and she's named after his daughter. This is kind of like a homage to this story.
52:50 Speaker 02 Wow, they really did their research.
52:52 Wes Larson? Yeah. So they went to Egypt and they arrived in November of 1922. They were both present the next day when the full extent of what they had discovered was revealed. And they saw that there was a seal containing King Tut's cartouche, which is like kind of his, I think like his mark, uh, found on the outer doorway. And this, this door was removed and there was a corridor behind that was cleared. And then there was the door to the tomb itself. So basically at this point, to open this tomb, what they needed to do to go down the proper steps was to get this like Egyptian authority to come and to be present as they opened this tomb. Because
53:33 Wes Larson? there was likely to be artifacts inside that were, you know, the technically like the property of the Egyptian government. So they needed to have permission to actually enter this tomb. But they could see through a little like peephole and Richard Carter, his, uh, his archaeologist was like, there's some wonderful things inside, pretty much. He got really stoked. So they secured the tomb and it was to be entered the next day in presence of this Egyptian Department of Antiquities. But that night, Carter, his assistant, Lord Carnarvon, and Lady Evelyn, made an unauthorized visit to the tomb, becoming the first people in modern times to enter the tomb of King Tut. Some people even think they entered the inner burial chamber. Can't do that.
54:18 Wes Larson? Yeah, shouldn't have done that. There's curses in there. Yep. All right. At least one. So then they take part in the official opening of the tomb and they're probably like, whoa, this is crazy. Oh, it's our first time here. So crazy. Wow, it really is King Tut's tomb. This is neat. All right. And later, the burial chamber wasn't opened. It was indeed full of thousands of almost spectacular treasures and artifacts that you could ever imagine. If you've ever been lucky enough to see these in a museum, they're absolutely spectacular.
54:51 Jeff Larson? I'm really excited to go to the Louvre and go see like the Napoleon's wife's crown. Yeah, I really am so excited.
55:01 Wes Larson? I got bad news for you, buddy.
55:04 Jeff Larson? What?
55:08 Wes Larson? Jeff's just been saving his whole life for his French jewels trip to the Louvre.
55:14 Wes Larson? Devastated. So the work to unearth the entire tomb and all the treasures was ongoing in March of 1923, when one day, without even noticing it, a tiny insect landed on Lord Carnarvon's cheek and inserted its tiny proboscis into his skin and drank his blood. What? This insect was, of course, a mosquito. If he didn't notice it, how do we know? Just, we know. I'll get to it. It was much like the one- Did the mummy tell him? That had probably given the malaria virus to King Tut thousands of years earlier. Mummy mosquito? Much like the one. Yeah, this was a mummy mosquito. That'd be cool. All wrapped up.
55:54 Wes Larson? And it had started a process of events that would kill this man who had broken the seal on King Tut's tomb.
56:01 Jeff Larson? I wonder how much faster you'd become like mummified with mosquitoes in there.
56:06 Wes Larson? A little bit. Oh, yeah. Like those scare beetles in the mummy. Sammy, how do we feel about mosquitoes in general?
56:13 Speaker 02 Uh, we despise them. We eat them. We want to CRISPR them out of existence. Personally,
56:22 Speaker 02 Wes and I are on differing ends of, have different opinions about this, but I really hate, I really hate them.
56:30 Wes Larson? Yeah. I did read recently that there were some studies that, that people think if we got rid of mosquitoes, it wouldn't substantially impact any animal that feeds on mosquitoes. I tend to disagree with that. I don't, I have a hard time with that.
56:43 Jeff Larson? A lot of flies in the world.
56:44 Speaker 02 What do you think about CRISPRing them to not be able to bite?
56:49 Wes Larson? I think it's cruel.
56:51 Speaker 02 No, you're not-
56:52 Jeff Larson? Cruel to a mosquito?
56:55 Wes Larson? Yeah.
56:55 Jeff Larson? Where do they rank in your favorite animals all time?
56:59 Wes Larson? Me? They're probably like 4,000 or something. I don't like them. Like, they're annoying.
57:04 Jeff Larson? It's kinda hot.
57:06 Wes Larson? I think there's like 5,000 species. Yeah. I don't like them. They're, they're, actually, they're probably my bottom 10. Yeah. But, but I think they serve their purpose. Okay. And their purpose might be-
57:18 Speaker 02 I was thinking about how being like itchy- Forever would be one of the worst things that could ever happen. And I'm curious if that's where this is going.
57:28 Wes Larson? That's not what happened to this guy.
57:31 Speaker 02 Itchy, itched to death.
57:32 Jeff Larson? Well, that's where.
57:33 Speaker 02 Scratched all of his own skin off because he was so itchy. That'd be bad.
57:36 Jeff Larson? That's where at the start of the episode where Wes was saying like, death's one of the scariest things. It's like, I don't know, being itchy forever scares.
57:43 Mike Smith? Sounds way worse.
57:47 Mike Smith? Do you think that's why the mummies wrapped themselves so the mosquitoes can't get them?
57:51 Speaker 02 Nice. Great question.
57:52 Wes Larson? Maybe. I mean, it killed, it killed their guy, you know?
57:55 Mike Smith? What happens if a mosquito bites you and you have, I don't know, something in your blood that's bad?
57:59 Jeff Larson? You got, just where it bit him on the cheek. Sorry.
58:02 Wes Larson? Wait, sorry. What was that, Mike?
58:04 Mike Smith? I don't know. I was just.
58:05 Jeff Larson? I interrupt.
58:06 Mike Smith? Like, what if you had like HIV or something? And I, that's not, I'm not trying to like be funny. Does that, would that affect a mosquito? Or not really, because they're transmitting diseases anyway.
58:16 Jeff Larson? The mosquito gets HIV?
58:18 Mike Smith? Yeah.
58:18 Wes Larson? We don't, I don't think we transmit any diseases to mosquitoes.
58:22 Jeff Larson? Well, if you had sex with a mosquito and you have HIV.
58:25 Speaker 02 Great, great question. Great question.
58:28 Wes Larson? All right.
58:29 Jeff Larson? I'm not trying to be funny.
58:33 Wes Larson? Sammy's like, finally I got the question I wanted. All right.
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1:01:40 Mike Smith? This episode is brought to you by Quince. As the weather cools, I'm swapping in the pieces that actually get the job done. Warm, durable, and built to last. And Quince delivers every time with wardrobe staples that'll carry you through the season. Quince has the kind of fall staples that you'll actually want to wear on repeat, like 100% Mongolian cashmere for just $60, classic fit denim, and real leather and wool outerwear that looks sharp and holds up. I tell you what, I got this forest green Mongolian cashmere sweater. It's the most, it's honestly the most comfortable piece of clothing that I own. I'd wear it literally everywhere. If there's a nice dinner I have to attend, throw it on over a collared shirt. If I want to stay warm in bed at night, throw it on. It's my pajamas all of a sudden. I probably shouldn't admit to wearing such a nice classy piece to bed, but that's the kind of guy I've turned into these days.
1:02:25 Mike Smith? This cashmere is honestly ridiculously comfortable. I've got my eye on so many of their pieces at this point. I want one of their hats, I want some of these gloves. It's getting cold. I like my hands to be all warm when I'm driving in the winter. I gotta get a pair of those. Anyway, you get the idea. Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com/tooth for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash tooth. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash tooth. Not long after getting this bite, Lord Carnarvon was shaving, and the raised itchy bump from the bite caught the edge of his razor.
1:03:08 Mike Smith? His razor, his razor. And he sliced into himself, cutting his face.
1:03:13 Wes Larson? No.
1:03:14 Mike Smith? A shaving cut is no cause for alarm. This is something that probably would have happened a lot back in the day with the straight edge razor, razor. I don't know why I can't say razor.
1:03:22 Wes Larson? That's a tough word.
1:03:23 Mike Smith? But.
1:03:26 Mike Smith? Unfortunately for Carnarvon, the car crash decades earlier had left his immune system weak and unable to cope with unfamiliar infections. And a terrible skin infection took hold around this cut.
1:03:38 Wes Larson? Quickly poisoned his blood and led to an inflammation in his lungs and then severe pneumonia. He died two and a half weeks after being bit by the this mosquito. So pretty quickly this all progressed.
1:03:51 Speaker 02 Two and a half weeks is pretty quickly? I mean, are we feeling?
1:03:53 Wes Larson? For an infection.
1:03:54 Speaker 02 Are we feeling bad that whole time, though?
1:03:56 Wes Larson? I think we're feeling pretty bad. He's got like a bad rash and an infection.
1:04:00 Speaker 02 It's a lot longer than being stomped by an elephant.
1:04:03 Wes Larson? That's true. I yeah, I'm not saying this one's particularly bad. But newspapers around the world had a field day with the news. Reporters as well as famous author Arthur Conan Doyle were quick to say that this was probably an ancient curse that had claimed his life. And this is really kind of where the idea of a mummy's curse begins. This is kind of where that whole idea starts with this story. All right. So we've got our seven deaths. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go through them really quickly for you guys. We got covered in cow dung and eaten by dogs, killed by a tiger in a 1700s British tavern. I with an ironic name. Let's not forget that, Jeff.
1:04:43 Jeff Larson? Why a line?
1:04:45 Wes Larson? Stomped to death embarrassingly by an elephant in front of all of your fellow soldiers and your best friends, bitten by a boom slaying and chronicling your own death as you bleed through your eyes and your brain, scapism after saving the king's life, a mouse down your throat that then bites your organs and tissues and whatnot, or the mummy's curse and a mosquito bite and cutting yourself. All right, so I want your top three. Let's start with your third, your third worst first. We'll each do these in order. My third worst, I think, is the mouse down the throat.
1:05:23 Jeff Larson? My third worst is the frickin', what was that? The they had cow dung dogs.
1:05:32 Wes Larson? All right, cow dung and dogs.
1:05:33 Mike Smith? If it's the dogs, that's what I was thinking for third.
1:05:36 Wes Larson? Okay, Mike's also going with cow dung and dogs. It is, that's what we're counting. Okay, Sammy?
1:05:42 Speaker 02 I'm going mouse down the throat too. How many days was of pain was that again?
1:05:46 Wes Larson? It wasn't very long, a few hours.
1:05:48 Speaker 02 A few hours.
1:05:49 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:05:50 Speaker 02 It's tied between that and the mummy curse, but I'm factoring in that you'd be seeing some cool shit when you're in the in the tombs and stuff, so.
1:05:58 Wes Larson? It's probably worth it.
1:05:58 Speaker 02 That one's kind of worth it.
1:06:00 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:06:00 Speaker 02 So those two are tied for third for me.
1:06:03 Wes Larson? Okay, and probably his next big hobby was gonna be like racism or something, you know, an old guy in the 1900s.
1:06:09 Speaker 02 Sure.
1:06:09 Jeff Larson? Well, I mean, if he is cursed, he might not have gone to heaven.
1:06:12 Wes Larson? That's true. He might be in mummy hell.
1:06:14 Mike Smith? Right.
1:06:15 Wes Larson? All right, my second worst is gonna be the boom slaying bite. I think bleeding out of your orifices and dying that way would be pretty terrible. So that's my second worst.
1:06:24 Speaker 02 Wes, I think we're gonna have the same three, because how could number one not be the same for all of us? Um, yeah, that's my number two as well. Bleeding out of the orifices sounds, sounds really bad.
1:06:38 Wes Larson? Yeah, the roller coaster too, like thinking you're okay and then realizing.
1:06:41 Speaker 02 I was gonna say, kind of the lack of urgency is, is stressful for me as a, as a listener to the tale. I think, I think I would have reacted a little differently if it were me and maybe it wouldn't have played out the same way. But.
1:06:54 Wes Larson? I tend to agree. Yeah.
1:06:56 Speaker 02 That said, if it had to play out that way, that's my number two.
1:06:59 Wes Larson? All right, Mike and Jeff, we, yeah, go ahead.
1:07:01 Jeff Larson? I'm doing the milk and honey and the boat for number two.
1:07:05 Wes Larson? Scafism, number two. Okay.
1:07:07 Jeff Larson? I like, I like boats.
1:07:10 Mike Smith? I like honey.
1:07:11 Jeff Larson? I like being on a boat.
1:07:13 Mike Smith? Right.
1:07:15 Wes Larson? The, the, the herpetologist guy would have been like, hey, can you put some toast in that milk instead of honey?
1:07:23 Wes Larson? All right, Mike, what's your number two?
1:07:25 Mike Smith? Oh, I'm going elephant stomp. That's so embarrassing. All your friends just laughing at you.
1:07:29 Speaker 02 It's absolutely humiliating. Yeah.
1:07:31 Mike Smith? You know, for the rest of their lives, they're just shaking their head and laughing.
1:07:34 Speaker 02 And the high and the low of it too, of being like, I just, I, oh, hell yeah, I fucking did it. And then like, just.
1:07:40 Mike Smith? Right.
1:07:41 Speaker 02 Right back down to zero.
1:07:43 Mike Smith? Right.
1:07:44 Jeff Larson? See, I kind of think that one's cool. I like that one.
1:07:47 Mike Smith? It's cool, dude, it's cringe.
1:07:49 Wes Larson? Yeah. All right, we already, me and Sammy said our number one. What's your guys' number one?
1:07:55 Mike Smith? Oh, scapism is like my, that's my most preferred one.
1:08:00 Jeff Larson? Mine's the mouse. I don't like the mouse crawling down my mouth and trying to eat its way out.
1:08:06 Mike Smith? Yeah, I'm going scapism number one, of course, of course.
1:08:09 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:08:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:08:10 Mike Smith? It's the worst.
1:08:11 Wes Larson? All right. Okay. Well, those are the, the seven deaths that you've never heard of before, before listening to this podcast, we've never talked about any of these things.
1:08:22 Jeff Larson? Which one's the best of those?
1:08:24 Wes Larson? I think the best one for me is the
1:08:26 Speaker 02 Or elephant, maybe.
1:08:27 Jeff Larson? Yeah, the tiger, you kind of go in history as a dick.
1:08:32 Speaker 02 That's true.
1:08:32 Wes Larson? That's true.
1:08:33 Speaker 02 It's embarrassing as well.
1:08:34 Wes Larson? There's been whole papers like written trying to disprove that it happened too, which is kind of annoying. If people are like, did this actually happen? It's like, did you read the poem? You know?
1:08:44 Jeff Larson? Yeah, I'll take the elephant one. That is cool. I, I mean, it's like, yeah, you got trampled, but it's like, that's pretty ballsy. Sent it, you know?
1:08:53 Mike Smith? No.
1:08:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's, it is, it's legendary. Yeah.
1:08:56 Mike Smith? If he had lasted more than like one second, if he had maybe dodge rolled out of the way of one stomp and then gotten taken out. It's like, okay, like he's trying to, he's making some moves at least.
1:09:07 Jeff Larson? I would say that if he didn't stab the elephant, if he like just ran up and got trampled right away, I'd be like, that's embarrassing.
1:09:14 Mike Smith? I do think
1:09:14 Jeff Larson? But he slid under it and stabbed it. So I kind of think he actually did some stuff.
1:09:20 Mike Smith? You gotta do the Star Wars one where you have a rope and you run around the elephant's legs a bunch and trip it up. Then I'm like,
1:09:27 Wes Larson? Yeah, you'd look really stupid for like 10 seconds.
1:09:30 Jeff Larson? But then you want to die.
1:09:31 Wes Larson? Yeah, that's true. All right. Okay.
1:09:35 Mike Smith? I think that's like
1:09:36 Wes Larson? Well, we got our answers. They're locked in. Uh, let's get on to our categories. You guys ready?
1:09:41 Speaker 02 Yep.
1:09:42 Wes Larson? Okay. I want everyone to say a favorite death scene from a horror movie. One of your favorite death scenes from any horror movie.
1:09:50 Mike Smith? Oh my gosh, how can you even pick?
1:09:52 Wes Larson? Yeah, I forgot to send these to Mike and Jeff.
1:09:55 Speaker 02 I'll go, I can, I can go first. Um, uh, the one, the first one that comes to mind for me always, it's not that it's the greatest death scene of all time, but it was kind of the first one I saw that made me really go, whoa, this shit can be crazy.
1:10:16 Speaker 02 And that is the, in the movie You're Next, someone is killed by someone plugging a blender into the wall, taking off the glass blender part and slamming the blender blades down into the top of their skull and turning it on and blending.
1:10:33 Wes Larson? Oh wow. Whoa, yeah.
1:10:35 Mike Smith? Yeah, gotta look, check that one out.
1:10:37 Wes Larson? That's creative.
1:10:38 Speaker 02 Pretty, pretty memorable. Yep.
1:10:40 Wes Larson? Okay. My answer, I'll let Mike and Jeff think for a second more, is a movie that I hate. But I've watched it like three times is Bone Tomahawk.
1:10:50 Speaker 02 Hmm.
1:10:52 Wes Larson? Where at the end, these like kind of crazed zombie guys just grab a dude and split him in half. Like they just like. Yeah.
1:11:04 Speaker 02 Wes, I hate to tell you, it's so much worse than that because first they scalp him and then they shove his scalp into his mouth and use a little like blade to hammer it to the back of his throat.
1:11:17 Wes Larson? That's right. That's right.
1:11:18 Speaker 02 And then they flip him upside down and use a bone tomahawk to cut him in half.
1:11:23 Wes Larson? That's what it is.
1:11:24 Speaker 02 Dick first.
1:11:25 Mike Smith? Not the penis.
1:11:29 Wes Larson? It's so bad. I just remember I, so I blocked some of that out. Thanks for reminding me, Sammy.
1:11:34 Speaker 02 You're welcome.
1:11:35 Wes Larson? I remember that movie. You can't blame us for reminding you. For like. This scene. Eighty-five percent of that movie, it's kind of like.
1:11:43 Speaker 02 You brought it up.
1:11:44 Wes Larson? Yeah. It's kind of like a western where like, you're like, oh, these guys are on like a fun western thing and there's maybe a horror element. And then all of a sudden it's just like, oh, this is the craziest horror movie I've ever seen.
1:11:56 Speaker 02 Yeah. Yeah, that movie's quite upsetting.
1:12:00 Mike Smith? I want dick last is how I want to go.
1:12:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:12:05 Speaker 02 Also, because I think you'd die faster. If we're starting at the, at the brain, at the head, I think that's gonna, I think that's gonna be pretty fast.
1:12:12 Mike Smith? Right.
1:12:13 Wes Larson? Okay. Mike and Jeff.
1:12:14 Speaker 02 Dick first, I don't know.
1:12:15 Mike Smith? I've got a couple that I'm having a hard time choosing between. I'm going to say Wes is gonna be mad because anytime I bring up a movie. Older than five years old.
1:12:25 Wes Larson? No one's ever heard of it.
1:12:27 Mike Smith? Everyone's heard of the movie House, okay? 1977 Obayashi, Japanese film. There's a piano scene, piano chomps the girl playing. It's great. It's one of the most, just like really fun, funny movie. But I'm actually, my real answer is, the first time I watched Psycho, I thought I had kinda had the whole movie spoiled for me. Everyone knows the shower scene. So like, I got through that. I kinda know exactly how it was gonna play out. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm through the worst of it. But then there's another death near the end of the film, where it's this really weird vertical camera shot right down by the staircase. And it's almost like a jump scare where Norman, or his mom, we don't know anything at this point yet. But she pops out from one side and the guy's walking up the stairs.
1:13:10 Mike Smith? And it's just like this really abrupt collision at the top of the stairs. And then he like falls down, gets stabbed. It was just like, I was not expecting it. And I thought that like, we were through the worst of it in the movie. And that scene just really, really got me. And it's lived in my brain ever since. It's really like an artfully shot scene. Yeah.
1:13:27 Jeff Larson? I'm having a hard time thinking of a good one. The only thing I keep coming back to is Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Just where he gets lost in the maze. And then all of a sudden it goes to him and he's just like frozen face.
1:13:42 Mike Smith? Popsicle.
1:13:46 Wes Larson? I have a, I have a runner up too that I wanted to say. The opening scene from Jaws is such a good death scene in a horror movie. You know, I think you can say that's a horror movie, but it's like so crazy that you don't know what's happening to her, but you know it's so bad. So that's one of my favorites as well.
1:14:02 Mike Smith? Sammy, what's your relationship to the 1988 The Blob? You've seen that?
1:14:08 Speaker 02 I haven't seen it.
1:14:09 Jeff Larson? I just saw it.
1:14:10 Speaker 02 I play Framed. It's like a daily game where it shows you frames of movies. And it was just The Blob a couple of days ago. And it made me wanna see it. So I haven't seen it. Should I?
1:14:20 Mike Smith? High, strong recommendation. I think from all three of us, right?
1:14:24 Jeff Larson? I went to a bar like by myself the other day. And I was just sitting there. And this guy next to me, I could hardly hear, but he's like, I hope you don't mind 1985 The Blob is on. I was like, what? And then he's like, yeah, I put it on. And I just like, watch, I was planning on being there for like 10 minutes and I ended up watching the whole movie and it was great. The phone booth one was really good.
1:14:51 Mike Smith? The phone booth is, so it's all, I bring it up just to say that there are a lot of really fun deaths and they're all practical, like the practical effects of the block are really.
1:14:59 Speaker 02 A lot of smushing?
1:15:01 Mike Smith? A lot of smushing and gushing and.
1:15:02 Wes Larson? A lot of acid.
1:15:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:15:05 Jeff Larson? Me and that guy got real into conspiracy theories as we were watching the block. Just a random guy at the bar.
1:15:12 Mike Smith? It makes sense. There's a lot of conspiratorial stuff going on in that movie.
1:15:16 Speaker 02 I feel like in the Final Destination movies, there's a lot of smushing as well. And I do love, I do love smushing death. In Final Destination 2, there's one where someone gets absolutely pancaked by a plate of glass that falls on, falls on top of him, just, just completely flattened.
1:15:34 Wes Larson? The most, the most recent one with the trash compactor smoosh.
1:15:38 Speaker 02 Yep.
1:15:39 Mike Smith? Oh, that's a good.
1:15:39 Speaker 02 Lots of smushing in those movies.
1:15:41 Wes Larson? Cause that always stops in movies. You never get to see that. And we finally, we finally get to see it.
1:15:46 Speaker 02 We did it.
1:15:48 Mike Smith? We made it.
1:15:49 Wes Larson? All right. I just want each of you to say a favorite thing about, a favorite thing. It doesn't have to be your number one favorite thing about Halloween. You know, we got Halloween coming up. What's a favorite thing that you guys like about this season or the day itself? Whatever you want.
1:16:03 Mike Smith? I like that it's a uniquely orange time of year. There's a lot of orange happening and that's just not a color you see a lot of people dress up in or store shelves decorated with the color orange. It just seems to be like a couple of weeks, you get a really distinct color. And then for the rest of the year, people are kinda, you know, we're not, we're not exhibiting orange as a species.
1:16:24 Speaker 02 I think it sticks around for November here in the States. That's kind of a, a November color too.
1:16:30 Mike Smith? That's true. I think you're right.
1:16:31 Speaker 02 And I, I agree. I think that's a really great, great color, great part of this time of year.
1:16:38 Mike Smith? Shout out orange, you know?
1:16:39 Speaker 02 Shout out orange, yeah.
1:16:40 Wes Larson? Go ahead, Sammy. You go next.
1:16:42 Speaker 02 I mean, mine is gonna be dressing up and seeing other people's costumes. I just moved to a house where I think, for the first time in a long time, I'm going to get trick or treaters. And I'm very excited seeing everybody's costumes. Some people really go all out. I try to go all out, but you have to really plan ahead if you've got
1:17:04 Wes Larson? You do.
1:17:04 Speaker 02 Kind of a big costume in mind, and so.
1:17:07 Mike Smith? What do you, what's your costume?
1:17:09 Speaker 02 This year?
1:17:10 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:17:11 Speaker 02 It's, uh, you guys are getting the exclusive.
1:17:16 Mike Smith? We can bleep this out if you want.
1:17:17 Wes Larson? You don't have to tell us if you don't want to.
1:17:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'll tell you. I'm going to be Kersh from Alien Earth. It's a very specific reference. I'm usually a man for Halloween. It just works out that way, but I'm, I'm doing it because I want to uh, bleach my eyebrows and
1:17:32 Mike Smith? Oh, sweet.
1:17:33 Speaker 02 It's the character played by Timothy Olyphant.
1:17:35 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:17:36 Speaker 02 And it's part of a group costume with more Alien Earth references, so.
1:17:45 Mike Smith? That's great.
1:17:45 Wes Larson? Nice.
1:17:46 Speaker 02 Pretty cool.
1:17:47 Mike Smith? Are you, are you so deep in it? Are you like a seamstress at all? Are you like getting your hands dirty making stuff? Or are you just assembling?
1:17:54 Speaker 02 Well, last year I was a mosquito and I did do some crafting for that. I did sew some, some legs and wings. It did look good, but it got, it got the message across.
1:18:09 Wes Larson? Wait, Jeff, what's your favorite thing about Halloween season?
1:18:12 Jeff Larson? I was thinking it'd be funny for like trick or treaters, you know? Where people have the buckets and it says like, take one candy.
1:18:20 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:18:20 Jeff Larson? I was thinking it'd be funny to have just like a Pez dispenser. And it's like, just take one and they have to like open the Pez dispenser and take the Pez out.
1:18:31 Speaker 02 They'd be so mad.
1:18:33 Mike Smith? That's a skip. We skip those.
1:18:36 Jeff Larson? I mean, I've, I would just say, hmm.
1:18:39 Wes Larson? I'll go and you can think about yours. For me, I've been thinking about this a lot because I feel like people's decorations have gotten like more elaborate and spooky and kind of like horrific. And I really like that we're like, whether or not you want to admit it, like the US was kind of founded on like Judeo-Christian beliefs and that undercurrent is kind of always here. There's like a certain propriety propriety that people have to have. And I love that in Halloween, it just gets dropped and that people really embrace like horror and evil and paganism and all these things that typically like are shocking to Americans. People are
1:19:22 Wes Larson? like proudly displaying and we just kind of leave that all like you'll be walking in Home Depot and you see a really scary horrific mask, you know, and it's like, oh, that's crazy that that's just out and that people are all accepting this. And I really like it. So that's, that's my favorite thing about Halloween is that everyone just kind of collectively is like, you know what? Let's scare ourselves. Let's get kind of gross for a little bit.
1:19:43 Speaker 02 My friend has a two-year-old daughter who's really obsessed with babies. She has her little like baby dolls just to take care of the baby and they went into a Halloween store and apparently this year is big on like scary babies. And so there are a lot of babies with like nails in their faces, bleeding and like eyes glowing. And they were really trying to keep her away from the, from the scary babies. But eventually she saw them and she just laughed and laughed and laughed. She loved them.
1:20:12 Wes Larson? That's great. I love that.
1:20:15 Jeff Larson? I mean, my answer is just the same as Sammy's, honestly, like just seeing people dressed up in costumes is so fun. And like at BYU, we'd sit on the wall and just watch people all day in their costumes and like going to parties, pretty good chance you see a lot of cleavage from costumes. That's always sweet. What?
1:20:37 Wes Larson? Nothing.
1:20:37 Speaker 02 What?
1:20:38 Jeff Larson? That's true. Yeah. Let's not pretend like that's not like a key feature of Halloween for a lot of people. You don't like that? Feel like girls like that too.
1:20:48 Wes Larson? Sure, sure. You know, I'm sorry that I judged you.
1:20:51 Speaker 02 We all like that much, Jeff. We all like that.
1:20:53 Jeff Larson? Cleavage is fun sometimes.
1:20:55 Wes Larson? Sometimes.
1:20:56 Jeff Larson? You just said you don't like the Judea Christian.
1:20:59 Wes Larson? That's true.
1:21:00 Jeff Larson? Thing over everything. Here I'm talking about cleavage. You're like, you can't say that.
1:21:06 Mike Smith? Turns into a puritan.
1:21:07 Wes Larson? I know. And I just talked about like scapism and all these terrible things. I'm clutching my pearls at cleavage.
1:21:16 Wes Larson? You're right. I'm being a hypocrite. Okay. Well, if you guys don't know this, Sammy is one of the three hosts of Too Scary to Watch, which is a podcast all about horror movies. And Sammy is the horror movie fanatic out of the three. And Henley and Emily don't really like scary movies. So Sammy will watch them and recap them for her friends. So Sammy's a bit of a horror movie expert. So I wanted to ask you, Sammy, three horror movies you've watched and that you recommend since we last had you on a year ago.
1:21:47 Speaker 02 Funnily enough, one of the ones I was going to recommend was House, the movie that Mike brought up. So I'll, I'll table that one because you've already been recommended it. It's great. You should watch it.
1:21:59 Mike Smith? Everyone, please. I'm.
1:22:02 Speaker 02 And this one's kind of for Mike. If I recall correctly, you are a Nicolas Cage fan?
1:22:09 Mike Smith? Big time. Oh, yeah.
1:22:11 Speaker 02 Have you seen Arcadian?
1:22:13 Mike Smith? I haven't. No. I gotta check it out.
1:22:15 Speaker 02 It's not the like greatest horror movie I've ever seen. It's not Reinventing the Wheel or anything, but it's monsters slash alien design is some of the weirdest, most unexpected I have ever seen. And I think some of the filmmaking is like very effectively creepy and.
1:22:41 Speaker 02 It it it did keep me on the edge of my seat and Nicholas Cage is in it. And so that's always like a huge plus.
1:22:47 Mike Smith? I like my life. Yeah.
1:22:50 Wes Larson? We almost watched this movie, Sammy, but our like terrible movie selection game that we use uh did not pick it. So we had to, we had to watch something else, but I was, I was rooting for it pretty hard. And then I had to watch it by myself.
1:23:03 Speaker 02 I recommend it. I thought it was, it was a pretty fun, uh, kind of more of a like thriller-y horror, but with just really, really impressive creature design and also kind of like bonkers creature design. There's parts of it where it's almost funny because you're just, it's unlike anything you've seen before in a way that makes you kind of guffaw.
1:23:22 Mike Smith? That is my lane entirely. That's what I'm here for. Yeah.
1:23:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's.
1:23:28 Mike Smith? The description reminded me a little bit of the movie Frailty. I don't know if you're um with Bill Paxton. He has like the two kids. One is kind of like a believer and one's more of like a non-believer. I don't know if that's much of it, but.
1:23:39 Speaker 02 I haven't, I haven't seen Frailty in a long time, but it comes up a lot from our listeners. Um, and I'd like to re-watch it. But yeah, he, uh, Nicholas Cage plays a father with two sons. It's post-apocalyptic. They're living in a world where by day, everything is a somewhat idyllic, post-apocalyptic, like farming, doing all your normal stuff. But then at night, the the monsters slash probably aliens come out. That's not a spoiler. You don't really, it's never really explained, but.
1:24:09 Mike Smith? Great. Arcadian.
1:24:11 Speaker 02 Arcadian is on Hulu. Um, second one I'll recommend as cheating because I didn't watch it since last time I was on, but I've watched, I watched it a couple of years ago and I feel like I never have spoken to anybody else who's seen it. So I'm, I'm going for lesser known here. Uh, it's called Daniel Isn't Real. Wes, have you seen this one?
1:24:35 Wes Larson? I, is this the one with the Schwarzenegger kid?
1:24:38 Speaker 02 It sure is.
1:24:38 Wes Larson? I have seen this one. Yeah.
1:24:40 Speaker 02 Yes, it's, uh. Psychological horror came out in 2019, Two Nepo Babies, Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins, who is Tim Robbins' son.
1:24:51 Wes Larson? Yeah, yeah.
1:24:52 Speaker 02 And Susan Strandon's son. And also has Sasha Lane in it, who is really great. And this is one I went into knowing really nothing about it. And again, just had an unexpectedly good time. I thought the performances were very fun. If anybody has become a fan of Patrick Schwarzenegger since he was on White Lotus. I thought he was great in this, thought he was great in that.
1:25:20 Wes Larson? I like this one, too. And there was like some weird like cosmic horror elements in it.
1:25:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:25:25 Wes Larson? From what I remember.
1:25:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:25:26 Wes Larson? That were unexpected.
1:25:28 Speaker 02 I'd like to rewatch it because I haven't, I haven't actually seen it in a while, but I was just kind of thinking what I could recommend that might be.
1:25:35 Wes Larson? A little more under the radar.
1:25:36 Speaker 02 A little more under the radar. And then my last recommendation, Wes, I know you have seen this one, is Mads.
1:25:47 Speaker 02 A 2024 French horror movie. Have you guys talked about this on the podcast before?
1:25:54 Wes Larson? We haven't talked about it, no.
1:25:56 Speaker 02 It's a all done in one continuous take. It's a, it's, it's so impressively crafted and it's so stressful because of the fact like by the nature of the filmmaking style, it is just like nonstop continuous. And things just keep getting crazier and crazier. And it was one of those movies that by the end of it, I like was so drained. So I was so stressed for so long that by the end I was just like, oh my God. So if you're in the mood to get pretty scared and stressed, which I often am, check out Mads, that one's on Shudder.
1:26:40 Wes Larson? What's the title all about?
1:26:42 Speaker 02 You know, I don't actually know. It's M A D and the S is capitalized. I don't know if it's means something different in French, but it's a great question that I don't know.
1:26:54 Wes Larson? It's kind of, it's like in the zombie realm. Yeah, great. Thank you, Sammy. Appreciate that. And now I'm gonna move on to a really quick question that I have for all three of you. Do you guys think Brendan Fraser or Rachel Weisz is hotter in The Mummy?
1:27:11 Mike Smith? Oh, my gosh. I was just thinking that with Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. It's like, that's a pretty equal couple. I think this one is even more equal.
1:27:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:27:20 Mike Smith? Dang.
1:27:20 Wes Larson? For me, it's Rachel Weisz. I remember when I saw that, I was like, this is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
1:27:26 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:27:27 Speaker 02 And Rachel, and she's still one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Um, that's not a dig at Brendan Fraser. He is still very hot, but The Mummy, yeah, that's, that's peak for both of them.
1:27:39 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:27:40 Mike Smith? It might be.
1:27:41 Jeff Larson? It's a hard one.
1:27:42 Mike Smith? I mean.
1:27:42 Jeff Larson? It's a hard one.
1:27:44 Mike Smith? I'd rather, I'd rather smooch Rachel if I'm being honest, you know?
1:27:48 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:27:49 Mike Smith? So I gotta go.
1:27:49 Wes Larson? Appreciate the honesty.
1:27:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:27:51 Mike Smith? Thanks.
1:27:51 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:27:52 Mike Smith? You're welcome.
1:27:52 Wes Larson? I'll take.
1:27:53 Mike Smith? Craig, right?
1:27:54 Jeff Larson? Brendan, then.
1:27:55 Mike Smith? Okay. Our sole Brendan pulled out?
1:27:58 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:27:59 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:27:59 Jeff Larson? I think he looks better in the whale, though.
1:28:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:28:04 Wes Larson? All right.
1:28:05 Speaker 02 Hot tip.
1:28:06 Mike Smith? George, George of the Jungle, in my opinion.
1:28:08 Wes Larson? He is hot in that. Encino Man, he's hot, too. Um.
1:28:11 Mike Smith? Link?
1:28:12 Wes Larson? Okay, because I asked such terrible questions this whole episode, I, I am going, I, I cherry picked a lot of really good uh, Halloween themed episodes from our listeners, and we're gonna go over a few more than normal on this episode. Yeah, sorry. What did I say?
1:28:29 Jeff Larson? Episodes.
1:28:30 Wes Larson? Episodes, yeah. We're going to do their entire episodes. No, questions. Uh, so we're starting with Jgabs94, their question was, what's more terrifying? A bear with eight legs or a bear-sized spider?
1:28:44 Jeff Larson? Oh.
1:28:45 Wes Larson? For me, it's the spider. I think like a big spider is scarier than anything, and we kind of talked about how they would be like the number one predator on Earth. If those big spiders. So me, it's the big spider.
1:28:56 Jeff Larson? Can I modify it a tiny bit?
1:28:58 Wes Larson? Sure. There's no rules here.
1:28:59 Jeff Larson? The spider's bear-sized, but has four legs. And then the bear's bear-sized, and it has.
1:29:05 Wes Larson? Has eight. I like that, yeah.
1:29:07 Mike Smith? How much does that decrease its?
1:29:10 Jeff Larson? I think eight legs is scary. I've seen a bear.
1:29:14 Mike Smith? Yeah, I think I might too.
1:29:15 Wes Larson? Okay, you're picking the bear.
1:29:15 Jeff Larson? They seem heavy, dude.
1:29:18 Wes Larson? Okay, Sammy, what's your answer?
1:29:20 Speaker 02 Which one's scarier?
1:29:21 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:29:22 Speaker 02 Um.
1:29:22 Wes Larson? Bear-sized spider or bear with eight legs?
1:29:25 Speaker 02 Hmm, I, I'm, yeah, I'm gonna go spider too, cuz that's, they can like wrap you up.
1:29:31 Wes Larson? They could like jump across the like hole, they could jump acres in a single jump probably.
1:29:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:29:37 Wes Larson? They'd just be super fast. Yeah.
1:29:40 Speaker 02 And they can still probably paralyze you, right? Can't some spiders like do?
1:29:44 Wes Larson? Yeah. I mean, it happened to Frodo, you know?
1:29:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's what I.
1:29:47 Mike Smith? I think a bear wouldn't be able to move very well with eight legs either. I think you'd be able to like get away from it.
1:29:53 Wes Larson? Yeah, would it be like Goro in Mortal Kombat where it just kinda like stands up and has all these legs?
1:29:58 Jeff Larson? Oh, yeah.
1:30:00 Wes Larson? Okay, a lot of people ask this.
1:30:02 Jeff Larson? Maybe it has them on its back and it can like.
1:30:04 Wes Larson? They're just, that.
1:30:05 Speaker 02 Immobilized?
1:30:06 Wes Larson? Yeah. Just rolls.
1:30:10 Wes Larson? Oh, that's scary. That's scarier than the spider. Okay, a lot of people ask this, but this, I'm gonna say Madison Mash 00. And everyone else said, what cryptid do you each believe the most in? And if none, which one do you wish was real? For me, it's skinwalkers. Skinwalkers are the one I believe in the most. They're almost more like, I don't even know if I'd consider them a cryptid, but that's what I'm gonna say.
1:30:33 Speaker 02 What's a skinwalker?
1:30:35 Wes Larson? They're more, I, I think like a lot of indigenous mythology, they're included and you're not even really supposed to talk about them.
1:30:42 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:30:43 Wes Larson? Sammy? Yeah. So I'm not going to, but look it up.
1:30:47 Mike Smith? Convenient for Wes.
1:30:48 Wes Larson? Yeah, yeah.
1:30:50 Mike Smith? Who's struggling to come up with a good.
1:30:51 Wes Larson? No, I do know, but I'm not gonna talk about them in detail. I'm just gonna say they're the one I believe in the most.
1:30:58 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:30:58 Jeff Larson? I'm not supposed to even say what mine is.
1:31:01 Wes Larson? Okay, then you shouldn't say it, dude. Don't say it.
1:31:05 Mike Smith? Imagine, imagine a skinwalker in Fight Club. Like, that'd be the biggest secret of the world.
1:31:11 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:31:12 Mike Smith? No one would be able to talk about any of that.
1:31:17 Jeff Larson? Maybe like I do like a sea monster type thing like Loch Ness.
1:31:21 Wes Larson? Like Loch Ness.
1:31:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:31:23 Wes Larson? That's the one you believe in the most?
1:31:25 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:31:26 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:31:26 Jeff Larson? I don't believe in any of them.
1:31:27 Speaker 02 I was gonna say, I also don't believe in any of them, but I think something in the ocean. It or I guess Loch Ness is is lake, but but like mermaids or there's something down there. That's.
1:31:39 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:31:42 Mike Smith? What's the the it's like a bear skunk in Florida pops up every once in a while or something like that? Have you ever heard of that? It's like a swamp skunk thing. I just see a lot of stories pop up in Florida's second to the ocean, the place where something weird's got.
1:31:58 Wes Larson? Something weird is gonna come out.
1:31:59 Jeff Larson? Actually, I'd probably switch mine to vampires.
1:32:03 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:32:03 Jeff Larson? Just like a really old pervert who bites people on the neck.
1:32:08 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:32:08 Jeff Larson? Seems realistic.
1:32:10 Wes Larson? Yeah, from Romania. All right. This one's from the Haley underscore. Would you ever perform or participate in a seance or use a Ouija board?
1:32:21 Speaker 02 I have, and I would again.
1:32:23 Wes Larson? Ooh, would do it again. All right.
1:32:25 Mike Smith? Who'd you talk to?
1:32:27 Speaker 02 Uh, whatever spirits are in the room, you just kind of open it.
1:32:29 Wes Larson? Did you get any answers?
1:32:30 Mike Smith? Oh, is that how it works?
1:32:31 Speaker 02 I mean, I did this in like middle school. I was I was pretty fond of my Ouija board. And I don't know, I guess I'm too confident about it now because I've played it a lot. So I'm not scared. I'm not scared of it.
1:32:46 Wes Larson? Yeah, I did the the mirror one. What's the one where you like say the woman's? Yeah, Bloody Mary.
1:32:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:32:52 Wes Larson? Um, and it freaked me out.
1:32:54 Speaker 02 That one scares me a little more. Yeah.
1:32:55 Wes Larson? Yeah, I don't think I'd do any of them, to be honest. I kind of just like don't want to open that up, even though it's probably fake. I just don't want to mess with it.
1:33:03 Jeff Larson? Yeah, I'd do it if I don't have to like leave my house very far.
1:33:07 Mike Smith? That's exactly what I.
1:33:09 Wes Larson? It's more just.
1:33:11 Speaker 02 But also you don't want to do it. You don't want to do it in your house, though, because then.
1:33:14 Wes Larson? No, he doesn't.
1:33:15 Jeff Larson? Oh, yeah, I do it in my house.
1:33:16 Speaker 02 You don't invite them in, maybe right outside.
1:33:19 Mike Smith? I want you to bring the board. I want everyone to bring some like finger foods and some snacks, like a little potluck. Let's make a whole night out of it, but I don't want to waste my night.
1:33:26 Wes Larson? Thing.
1:33:26 Mike Smith? Driving to some like weird basement outside the city limits or something.
1:33:31 Jeff Larson? If there is spirits floating around in my house, too, it's like I might as well talk to them.
1:33:38 Wes Larson? That's true.
1:33:38 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah.
1:33:39 Wes Larson? Maybe it's like a sixth sense.
1:33:41 Speaker 02 In agreement here because I think if I am like going to a place where a seance is happening that brings a level of validity to it, or like professionalism to it, that makes it scarier because I'm, I too am picturing it in my house. I'm picturing myself as a teenager in the bathroom with a Ouija board, which feels pretty safe. But if I'm going to the woods with practiced seance people, that's, I might, I might not do that.
1:34:09 Wes Larson? What if it was at your house and all your friends were there and the ghost started saying something really embarrassing about you? Like, it's like, stop jerking and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1:34:19 Speaker 02 Well, it's obviously fake. This is obviously all fake.
1:34:23 Wes Larson? Let's just watch a movie.
1:34:24 Jeff Larson? What are you, my mom?
1:34:27 Jeff Larson? What are you, my bishop?
1:34:29 Wes Larson? Next question. Holes, Gans, and a lot of other people also asked this one. What is the scariest or spookiest animal call to hear at night while camping?
1:34:39 Jeff Larson? Oh, that'd be owl, right?
1:34:41 Wes Larson? Owls are spooky. For me, it's coyotes.
1:34:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:34:44 Wes Larson? Like the screaming.
1:34:45 Speaker 02 More than a wolf. Screaming one.
1:34:47 Wes Larson? Yeah. Wolves are like haunting. Wolf, like a wolf howl is very like haunting and beautiful. Coyote like scream howls sound like evil to me, even though I don't think they're evil animals at all. Their howls sound very like sinister.
1:35:02 Speaker 02 Or I just watched a movie with foxes at nighttime and those also sound very scream like.
1:35:09 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:35:09 Speaker 02 And it's just, yeah, the not being able to tell if it's human or not is, I think adds, adds some scariness there.
1:35:15 Wes Larson? We had a fox scream in our neighborhood once that me and Jesse both woke up and thought a woman was screaming like in the, in the road. And then we saw that it was a fox.
1:35:24 Speaker 02 Scary.
1:35:25 Wes Larson? That's a good answer.
1:35:26 Jeff Larson? Hmm. Maybe like a lion roar?
1:35:29 Speaker 02 I'd be pretty scared if I heard that. Yeah.
1:35:31 Wes Larson? I was, I was thinking along those same lines, like a T-Rex or something.
1:35:38 Jeff Larson? Which is just like a lion with a koala, right?
1:35:41 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:35:42 Jeff Larson? That's what they used. Tiger, lion, koala mix.
1:35:45 Wes Larson? A humpback whale outside of your window? Okay, uh, heck Haley and a lot of other people also asked this one. What would be the spookiest animal ghost?
1:35:55 Mike Smith? Ooh.
1:35:56 Jeff Larson? I just, I, I wouldn't want a dog ghost. I feel like they wouldn't leave you alone. They'd always like.
1:36:01 Wes Larson? Like you don't want an annoying animal. You gotta give them treats all the time.
1:36:05 Jeff Larson? Right.
1:36:06 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:36:06 Mike Smith? Maybe like a shark ghost in your pool in the backyard or something?
1:36:10 Wes Larson? Shark ghost is where my mind went to.
1:36:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:36:13 Wes Larson? Like, it would just, they're so beautiful to see swim around. It'd be cool to just have a shark swimming in and out of your room.
1:36:19 Mike Smith? Right.
1:36:20 Jeff Larson? I think I'd be friends with the shark ghost.
1:36:22 Wes Larson? Yeah. They'd make a movie called Shark Ghost.
1:36:25 Speaker 02 Is there, is there a, is there a shark ghost movie? There probably is.
1:36:29 Wes Larson? Almost certainly.
1:36:30 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:36:31 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:36:32 Jeff Larson? Do you think they have to be in water?
1:36:34 Wes Larson? Uh, no.
1:36:34 Speaker 02 I don't think so.
1:36:35 Wes Larson? My shark ghost can go anywhere.
1:36:36 Jeff Larson? Our ghosts can go in the ocean as much as they want?
1:36:39 Speaker 02 I think so, because you don't have to, you don't have to breathe anymore.
1:36:41 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:36:42 Mike Smith? Why don't, yeah, why don't we do that as much?
1:36:44 Jeff Larson? Why don't we just ask our ghosts what's at the bottom of the ocean?
1:36:47 Mike Smith? Yeah, do a seance again real quick, Sammy.
1:36:50 Wes Larson? You ever think of that, James Cameron?
1:36:52 Mike Smith? We gotta commune with the spirits.
1:36:53 Speaker 02 We gotta whip out the Ouija board, tell me what's at the bottom of the ocean. I know you can go there. You don't need to breathe anymore. Even if you haven't been, go now and come back.
1:37:02 Jeff Larson? Is the Meg?
1:37:03 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:37:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:37:04 Mike Smith? How true is the Meg?
1:37:06 Wes Larson? Not true. Those billionaire ghosts, those guys that blew up in that submarine are probably ghosts down there looking at the Titanic.
1:37:13 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:37:15 Wes Larson? All right, this one's from M. Liz Sullivan. For the third year in a row, what animal do you think would make the best zombie? For me, the, what I thought of, you guys are gonna like this answer. A mosquito would make the best zombie because it would very easily pass around. The zombie virus.
1:37:31 Jeff Larson? Oh.
1:37:31 Wes Larson? And you wouldn't even notice it. So for me, a mosquito would be very effective zombie.
1:37:36 Jeff Larson? Cause they like suck out, out of you.
1:37:39 Wes Larson? But they also, they.
1:37:40 Jeff Larson? They don't like bite you.
1:37:41 Wes Larson? But they throw up inside of you.
1:37:43 Jeff Larson? Hmm.
1:37:43 Speaker 02 Ugh.
1:37:44 Wes Larson? That's what makes you itch. So mosquito for sure.
1:37:47 Mike Smith? I have a, I have a two, so my answer is a bee because the name would be funny. It'd be a zombie. And they pollinate all of our food, which means basically like the entire food chain is just gonna be zombie. Virus infection.
1:38:01 Wes Larson? Ooh, that would be effective. Yeah.
1:38:03 Mike Smith? See?
1:38:04 Speaker 02 Hmm.
1:38:05 Mike Smith? Come up with a better answer than that.
1:38:07 Speaker 02 I'll, I'll, I mean, it's not better. It's obviously not better, but uh, I'll say. Based on Jeff's earlier point, I'll say dogs, just because they're kind of like everywhere already. And I feel like. They are always in our proximity and they could really.
1:38:24 Mike Smith? Or a T-Rex. Oh my gosh.
1:38:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whales.
1:38:30 Mike Smith? A ghost shark zombie.
1:38:31 Wes Larson? T-Rex, yeah.
1:38:33 Jeff Larson? What's an animal just like that kind of just gets worked all the time by everything?
1:38:39 Wes Larson? Like a bunny rabbit.
1:38:41 Mike Smith? A mule?
1:38:42 Jeff Larson? Maybe like give them something they can give back. Give back a little, you know, anchovies.
1:38:48 Wes Larson? I like that. Uh, Amanda two, seven, four, one. What is a villain you believe you could take? Like a horror movie villain?
1:38:56 Mike Smith? Chucky. Actually, no.
1:39:00 Mike Smith? So I rewatched the first couple of Chucky movies. He is resilient. You think you kill him and they do, they put him through the ring or they burn him. They chop his head off. They do everything like even at a certain point, I was like, okay, there's no way he can come back like an eighth time. But he does in the same movie. It's crazy.
1:39:18 Wes Larson? Yeah. You gotta put him into like a wood chipper or something.
1:39:21 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:39:21 Wes Larson? But then he probably still comes back.
1:39:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:39:24 Wes Larson? And you never know what's gonna be a Chucky then, you know?
1:39:27 Mike Smith? Right. Yeah. You just made him more compact.
1:39:31 Wes Larson? Maybe he's gonna put his spirit into like your phone or your AirPods or something. And you don't want Chucky AirPods.
1:39:38 Mike Smith? Right.
1:39:39 Wes Larson? All right. I picked Michael Myers.
1:39:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's so slow.
1:39:44 Wes Larson? He's slow and he like lets you see him too.
1:39:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's not discreet.
1:39:48 Wes Larson? No. So I just feel like.
1:39:50 Jeff Larson? Have sex.
1:39:51 Speaker 02 He's kind of just there.
1:39:52 Wes Larson? Yeah, I'm good.
1:39:54 Jeff Larson? If you have sex, he'll get to you for sure.
1:39:56 Wes Larson? All right.
1:39:58 Mike Smith? Can he have sex?
1:39:59 Wes Larson? I think Michael Myers.
1:40:00 Mike Smith? What happens if he does?
1:40:03 Wes Larson? He's not, he's not one that punishes sex. That's Jason Voorhees, right?
1:40:06 Mike Smith? Jason's more the sex habit killer.
1:40:09 Jeff Larson? Kinda get some people having sex, I think.
1:40:12 Wes Larson? Sure.
1:40:12 Mike Smith? But like if Jason-
1:40:13 Jeff Larson? The first, my Halloween, the-
1:40:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's a, there's a-
1:40:17 Jeff Larson? Girl's roommate and her boyfriend both get-
1:40:20 Mike Smith? You're right. Yeah. You know your sex stuff.
1:40:23 Wes Larson? Your sex.
1:40:25 Mike Smith? You got it on lock.
1:40:27 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:40:27 Wes Larson? Uh, all right, Sammy and Jeff, what, what horror movie villain are you squaring off against?
1:40:32 Speaker 02 I mean, I'll say that I do think I would die in every, every scenario.
1:40:39 Wes Larson? Thank you for specifying that.
1:40:40 Speaker 02 I don't think I'm, I don't think I'm super resilient in near death situations, but I'm looking at a list right now and, um, I'll go with Pinhead just because I'd like to see him and I think he's kind of hot.
1:40:59 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:41:00 Mike Smith? Cool.
1:41:02 Mike Smith? The, the whole BDSM thing kind of has you thinking a little bit.
1:41:05 Speaker 02 Kind of a sexy way to go if I don't end up-
1:41:07 Mike Smith? Right.
1:41:08 Wes Larson? Yeah. Pleasure of pain, you know? You don't know.
1:41:11 Speaker 02 Yeah. Sado masochist from hell.
1:41:13 Wes Larson? Yeah. Okay.
1:41:14 Jeff Larson? I feel like I could take a house, like all those haunted houses.
1:41:18 Speaker 02 Hmm.
1:41:19 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:41:20 Mike Smith? Just like a house.
1:41:21 Jeff Larson? Bulldozer.
1:41:23 Wes Larson? Okay. Any haunted house is-
1:41:25 Jeff Larson? Cast a spell inside of there and it's like they're gone now.
1:41:30 Wes Larson? All right, we're gonna do a couple more. Um, I liked this one from mandy.m.taylor. One million dollars, the person you love most is buried alive with a 1% chance of not getting out. Do you do it?
1:41:44 Jeff Larson? Wait, say it again?
1:41:45 Wes Larson? You get a million dollars, but the person you love the most has a 1% chance of being buried alive with a, and they can't get out. Would you do it?
1:41:56 Speaker 02 Wait, they have a 99% chance of surviving is what you're saying?
1:41:59 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:41:59 Mike Smith? Yes.
1:42:00 Wes Larson? Yeah. So, no, they're not going to get buried. They're on, there's a 1% chance that they're gonna be buried alive and they can't get out. The other 99%, nothing happens. So they have a bag with a- They have a bag with a hundred rocks inside of it. If you draw the red rock, your person you love the most is buried alive and they can't get out.
1:42:18 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:42:19 Wes Larson? Are you doing it?
1:42:20 Speaker 02 In this economy, a million dollars? Nah.
1:42:23 Wes Larson? It doesn't go that far. I would do it just because I'm curious who the person I love most at this point in my life is. I just want to know.
1:42:32 Speaker 02 This scenario would reveal that to you. Yeah.
1:42:34 Wes Larson? Yeah. Yeah.
1:42:35 Jeff Larson? Yeah, it honestly might be one of you two for me.
1:42:39 Wes Larson? Right.
1:42:39 Jeff Larson? And then it's like, even in that 1% chance, if one of you die, the me and the other person get to split tooth and claw 50 50 now.
1:42:48 Wes Larson? That's a good point.
1:42:49 Jeff Larson? I'm still making money.
1:42:50 Speaker 02 Yep.
1:42:50 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:42:51 Speaker 02 Making more money.
1:42:53 Jeff Larson? Like, I'll be sad I didn't get the million, but I'll still be like happy about that. Percentage.
1:42:59 Wes Larson? I don't think I'm doing it. I don't think I could. That's like the worst possible thing ever. So, yeah. Okay. All right. A couple more. Do you guys prefer the Scooby Doo Scooby Gang or the Buffy Scooby Gang?
1:43:13 Speaker 02 Buffy.
1:43:14 Wes Larson? Rapid. Yeah, Buffy for me. Buffy.
1:43:17 Jeff Larson? The what?
1:43:17 Wes Larson? Jeff. The Scooby Scooby Gang or the Buffy Scooby Gang?
1:43:21 Jeff Larson? Oh, I don't know.
1:43:26 Wes Larson? refuses to answer. We finally hit a point where Jeff's tired of listener questions. All right. One more then from Jeffrey Ward. What animal gives you pumpkin pumpkin spice latte vibes?
1:43:40 Jeff Larson? Hmm.
1:43:40 Wes Larson? What animal?
1:43:41 Jeff Larson? Squirrels.
1:43:41 Wes Larson? Yeah. For me, it's like a chinchilla.
1:43:43 Jeff Larson? Squirrels I'm always more into in the fall, and that's how I am with pumpkin spice treats, too. Like, I've seen squirrels everywhere right now.
1:43:52 Wes Larson? Ooh, Red Panda's a good pick.
1:43:53 Speaker 02 Red Panda's a good one. I was thinking more of like a kind of dog, like a designer dog type of thing.
1:43:59 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:43:59 Speaker 02 Don't you think? Like, kind of one of those fluffy Pomeranians, just.
1:44:02 Wes Larson? Yeah, like a doodle.
1:44:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:44:05 Wes Larson? That's a great pick. That's the right pick.
1:44:07 Speaker 02 It's just because that's who's who's in the photos with the pumpkin spice latte. People.
1:44:14 Wes Larson? I've never had one, never tried one.
1:44:16 Speaker 02 They're, they're, they're okay. I think they're okay.
1:44:19 Jeff Larson? Great.
1:44:19 Speaker 02 Worth a try.
1:44:20 Wes Larson? Pumpkin, pumpkin flavor guy. So.
1:44:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:44:23 Wes Larson? Yeah, I don't know. Okay.
1:44:24 Speaker 02 You're not missing, you know, enough.
1:44:26 Jeff Larson? A lot weirder if you were.
1:44:28 Wes Larson? Yeah. Well, some people are.
1:44:30 Jeff Larson? Try one.
1:44:31 Wes Larson? Yeah, if I just loved pumpkin spice, but I, yeah.
1:44:35 Jeff Larson? But you refuse to try a latte.
1:44:37 Wes Larson? Yeah, it's a good point. Okay. Well, that's it for the episode. Uh, Sammy, thank you as always for joining us.
1:44:44 Jeff Larson? Thanks, Sammy.
1:44:46 Wes Larson? Like we mentioned earlier, uh, Sammy's podcast is called Too Scary Didn't Watch. It's one of my all time favorites. Uh, do you got any, anything upcoming you want to plug?
1:44:55 Speaker 02 Uh, when does this episode come out?
1:44:57 Wes Larson? This will come out on Monday.
1:44:59 Speaker 02 Uh, we are going to be doing a virtual live show on October 26th, our Halloween live show where we're going to be recapping Antichrist, which I am very excited.
1:45:11 Jeff Larson? Special guest, Peter Thiel.
1:45:14 Speaker 02 Oh my God, I forgot that he's so obsessed with that.
1:45:18 Jeff Larson? Had like a 10 minute tangent on it on a huge platform.
1:45:23 Speaker 02 And we'll all be dressed up. Um, it's gonna be a good time, Antichrist. There's some really tough stuff in that movie that my co-host, co-hosts are not going to.
1:45:35 Wes Larson? They're not gonna like.
1:45:36 Speaker 02 They're not gonna like it at all. And I'm gonna be just giddy.
1:45:41 Jeff Larson? I think, I think this will be our one and only plug for Antichrist events.
1:45:50 Speaker 02 And then recently we had Wes on for Dangerous Animals, the shark movie that came out this year, and that was super fun. So check out that episode as well. I loved that movie. I thought it was great.
1:46:00 Wes Larson? Yeah. Same guy as, uh, The Loved Ones, which is another great horror movie.
1:46:05 Speaker 02 And another like all time or death or.
1:46:08 Wes Larson? Yeah, or lobotomy.
1:46:09 Speaker 02 I was gonna say, maybe they don't actually die, which is worse.
1:46:12 Wes Larson? Yeah. Okay.
1:46:15 Wes Larson? Well, thank you, Sammy. If you are itching for some more Tooth and Claw Sammy content, me and Mike are gonna have Sammy on for a quick subscriber no pants horror movie roundup. I forget what we call it, but we'll explain that Sammy once we start it. So yeah, if you've been looking for a good, a good reason to subscribe, there you go. That's coming up a little bit, but thanks again for joining us and sorry, guys, that I repeated another story.
1:46:48 Wes Larson? All right, we love you. See ya. Bye. Bye.
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