Exposing our Body Counts with Alex Cooper

It's episode 2 of Extra Dirty bitches! Hallie is joined by THE Father Cooper on this hungover morning to debrief their wild weekend in NYC. They recap the Unwell Hydration event, all of the NYC hot spots they conquered, how Alex got an emergency makeover, Graydon's stint in jail, Hallie being put to bed by Alex and Matt over the summer, road head, Graydon's notorious ski mask daddy, the naughty f*ck list on your phone, and TikTok's insane 'grooming' allegations. Enjoy!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  You were actually drinking last night. I was so having the

• 0:06Alex Cooper?

  Literally having the most fun of my life last night. Have you not learned anything about podcasting yet? Pull up your fucking mic. Where's your mic?

• 0:18Speaker 00

  Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Holly from the streets of New York.

• 0:30Speaker 00

  Guys, I had every intention of staying last night.

• 0:38Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. I love the holidays, okay? And I love the holidays because the fashion changes and, you know, your decorations and your living space. You just, everything just gets better, okay? And so whether you're shopping early or you're checking off last minute gifts, Ross offers incredible finds. Holiday gifting doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes it's the unexpected finds that become the most memorable. A soft robe, a beautiful candle, a piece of decor that brightens their space long after the season ends. Ross makes the holidays accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off

• 1:21Alex Cooper?

  other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Stouffer's. Let me tell you something. When I am hungry and I am trying to figure out what to eat, sometimes you can just actually become so, you're angry. You're like, I am busy, I'm hungry, I'm getting hangry, I'm getting angry. What can I eat? I need something hot and delicious and low maintenance. Well, introducing Stouffer's. Dinners are not only delicious, they're done in a flash. Serve up their classic lasagna, chicken pesto or carbonara for two. Whatever you're craving, Stouffer's is your hot, delicious, easy meal fantasy. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's.

• 2:03Alex Cooper?

  You can see all the delicious options at stouffer's.com.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Nowadays, you have certain expectations when you fly. Like people napping on the airport floor or flying in your pajamas. You know what you don't expect? Free drinks. But now T-Mobile members get a free premium drink when they fly Delta Airlines. So just sit back, relax, and switch to T-Mobile today. Visit t-mobile.com/membership for details. It's better over here.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Get a free premium Delta drink with eligible plan and link SkyMiles account 24 hours before qualifying. Flight required, must be 21 or older, or see T-LIFE for terms.

• 2:37Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ashley. Okay, so whenever I am picking new furniture for my house or redesigning a room, it is so important to me to make sure that it also is cohesive with the rest of my house and the vibe that I'm feeling. And I think filling your home with beautiful durable pieces from Ashley will help you create a backdrop for growing family's biggest memories, right? You want your home to feel cozy and you want it to feel like you. And thanks to features like stain resistant performance fabric, even the messiest memories will be easy to clean. So, visit your local store or head to ashley.com to find your style. What are we talking about?

• 3:21Speaker 00

  I don't know, I got a bunch of notes and I didn't read a single thing.

• 3:26Alex Cooper?

  Welcome back to Extra Dirty.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  Hello, everyone.

• 3:29Alex Cooper?

  No, you're gonna do an intro for this. I'm gonna be like the tail end, because you wanna just...

• 3:34Speaker 00

  You intro it. I don't wanna drive this ship just yet.

• 3:37Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:39Alex Cooper?

  She's still in training wheels.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  I'm still drunk.

• 3:41Alex Cooper?

  Um, welcome back to Extra Dirty. My name is Hallie Batchelder and I had such a good time last night. I was thriving last night.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  You were living your best life with those bangs bouncing around.

• 3:53Alex Cooper?

  Okay, let's tell them what we did last night.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  Okay, what did we do last night?

• 3:57Alex Cooper?

  So, we went to a absolute rager.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  No, it was fun.

• 4:04Alex Cooper?

  It was fun.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  I got there so early. One thing about me is I will be prompt.

• 4:08Alex Cooper?

  No, the best part of the night, you guys, is I'm standing at the DJ booth and all of a sudden I turn around and Grayden's eight foot body is literally laid up, laid up behind the DJ booth. And it wasn't like you on the ground, Grayden. He's in the other room being like, oh my God, help me. He was having a good time down there.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  No, he was having a ball. I kept falling into like the crevice of the table behind the table into the corner.

• 4:33Alex Cooper?

  Lord, help you. I saw you. You lost it a couple of times. I had to grab you by the nipple, pull you back up from your nipple.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  No, I was trying to make a point to like not get that drunk last time because I feel like every time you see me, I'm in the worst shape ever. And Matt's like, Matt said to me before I left last night, he's like, you can go home if you want to. Your eyes are crossing. And I was like, fuck, I failed.

• 4:53Alex Cooper?

  I didn't see your eyes cross as much, but that could be because I was sitting next to you like this. So I was never making direct eye contact with you. I was just like looking at the side of your head. So I didn't really see your eyes.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  You were busy.

• 5:03Alex Cooper?

  Wait, should we talk about the tea of me literally talking to Remy about the guy that's dating an influencer that lied to everyone and said he fucked me?

• 5:10Speaker 00

  Wait, yeah, wait, I forgot what, like, we say things to each other when we're drunk and you never know what I'm talking about. I never know what you're talking about. We just kind of like nod. You're always like, okay.

• 5:19Alex Cooper?

  Remy hooked up with this person and before she hooked up with him, she was like, he was like saying that he fucked me. I have my list right here. Let me show you the men I fucked.

• 5:28Speaker 00

  Oh my God, my list looks like a phone book. Where's my phone? Wait, I would love to see your list. Show me your list. Why is it in your email?

• 5:40Alex Cooper?

  Look at this cute little list.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  You're gonna cry.

• 5:42Alex Cooper?

  And guess who's not on there? Her fucking boyfriend.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  Wait, that's way smaller than I thought.

• 5:47Alex Cooper?

  Okay, anyways, you guys.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Look at this list.

• 5:50Alex Cooper?

  Damn.

• 5:53Alex Cooper?

  No, no, no.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  It's definitely a football team with people on the bench.

• 5:57Alex Cooper?

  Do you rate them by the first time you had it or do you rate them by the good to the bad?

• 6:01Speaker 00

  No, just in order.

• 6:02Alex Cooper?

  Just in order. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  Look at this. I banged a whole family of people.

• 6:08Alex Cooper?

  They all have the same last name.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  And one were twins, yeah.

• 6:12Alex Cooper?

  Anyways, yeah, so that was funny. Remy and I were laughing about that because I was like, I think that's maybe one of the most freaky freak behaviors.

• 6:18Speaker 00

  Did you have any interaction with this man?

• 6:20Alex Cooper?

  I took a fan photo with him at Montauk when I was at Surf Lodge. I'm in the Hamptons a couple of years ago. If any of the daddy gang is listening to this, this is when I got kicked out of Rushmires and almost got kicked out of Surf Lodge.

• 6:31Speaker 00

  What did you do?

• 6:34Alex Cooper?

  I go to Surf Lodge and there's a guy that comes up to me and like, he's cute, you know, and

• 6:40Speaker 00

  No, he's hot, but he's short king.

• 6:42Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah, short king. And so he comes up to me, he's like, Alex, like I'm such a big fan. Can I take a selfie with you? What's his fucking last name? I want to show you this. And I was like, yeah, for sure. Uh, let's take-

• 6:50Speaker 00

  He was like daddy gang.

• 6:51Alex Cooper?

  Daddy gang. And I was like, oh my God, I love like a guy that's daddy gang with a penis. So then, fast forward, I never think of anything again. And then he told Remy that we had sex. I think that's the most disgusting thing for a man to lie about having sex with a woman.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  Freak.

• 7:07Alex Cooper?

  Sorry, I'm on one this one. No, no, no. Look at the photo. Look at the photo.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  Oh my God, the bleach bond silver tone.

• 7:17Alex Cooper?

  Hallie is obsessed with my eras of blonde hair.

• 7:20Speaker 00

  It needs to be studied.

• 7:22Alex Cooper?

  To be fair, it used to be very silver, but I feel like it got me through a lot. It's probably how you feel about like filler.

• 7:28Speaker 00

  I just like love the needle feeling, not in my arms, but-

• 7:32Alex Cooper?

  You do. You do. I couldn't get my ears pierced till I was like-

• 7:37Speaker 00

  I could see that. I could see you being like a little like dealer Swiftie. I don't want to get my ears pierced, but I need to like do it.

• 7:44Alex Cooper?

  What else happened last night? Listen to me. You did the classic thing that is the best thing in the world where Hallie had the entire fucking club and the fucking bouncers looking for her phone. And I grab onto her and I literally am holding on, clutching onto her purse as I'm like yelling at her and I'm like, open your fucking purse right now.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  Remy did that too.

• 8:03Alex Cooper?

  No, no.

• 8:04Speaker 00

  And also Jordan hid my phone in my purse. She was being nice, but like she put it in there. I didn't know.

• 8:12Alex Cooper?

  No, Maria last night.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  I have dementia.

• 8:15Alex Cooper?

  No. What? Okay. What else is- Grayden, what else happened last night?

• 8:22Alex Cooper?

  Grayden goes by black.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  Oh, yes. I kept trying to tell you about this last night.

• 8:28Alex Cooper?

  Wait, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  And you were like, what are you saying? Like, you couldn't hear me, but you heard.

• 8:33Alex Cooper?

  Because you told me that this billionaire somehow knew me.

• 8:36Speaker 00

  He said that back in the day, that you guys were like at a Halloween party and like, what's his face wanted to like set you up with this guy that I went on a date with last week.

• 8:46Alex Cooper?

  What was I wearing?

• 8:50Alex Cooper?

  No, I feel like everyone knows like what, what, you'd remember all your Halloween costumes. Like, was I Snow White? Was it? Wait, I've never been Snow White. No, wait. No, was I, um, Little Red Riding Hood?

• 9:01Speaker 00

  No, like it was Halloween, you were definitely serving face. But then someone was like, wait, she talks about like all the guys she's hooked up with online. And he's telling me this story as I'm on this date with him. And I was like, wow, who would do that? That's so crazy. I was like, fuck. I know, but like it's safer with the older guys because they don't usually have TikTok.

• 9:21Alex Cooper?

  That's true.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  It's honestly strategic.

• 9:23Alex Cooper?

  So he's saying he was too afraid because I was literally like talking about men and then here you are ramping it up 10 times more. He's like, you're an angel.

• 9:32Speaker 00

  I'm like, hi, I'm your worst fucking nightmare, actually.

• 9:35Alex Cooper?

  Wait, okay, so tell me about the date.

• 9:37Speaker 00

  It went well.

• 9:37Alex Cooper?

  He looks more wholesome than I thought when you showed me a picture of him last night.

• 9:40Speaker 00

  You remember me showing, you remember that?

• 9:41Alex Cooper?

  I do. I feel like he looks like he's from Greenwich and he shops at Polo.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  He is from Greenwich.

• 9:46Alex Cooper?

  He is?

• 9:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:47Alex Cooper?

  And he was wearing a polo in the picture.

• 9:48Speaker 00

  And he was wearing a polo.

• 9:50Alex Cooper?

  Like spiky, like good hair.

• 9:51Speaker 00

  And he's like an uncle.

• 9:53Alex Cooper?

  He's an uncle?

• 9:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:55Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my God, I'm obsessed.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  But like, he's too wholesome for me. I'd break him.

• 9:59Alex Cooper?

  You would break him?

• 10:00Speaker 00

  He brought me to, um, this restaurant right next to Zero. It's called Tucci.

• 10:04Alex Cooper?

  And did you have sex with him?

• 10:06Speaker 00

  No, I didn't. I was stained.

• 10:08Alex Cooper?

  You didn't? Did you guys make out?

• 10:10Speaker 00

  We made out in front of the whole restaurant.

• 10:11Alex Cooper?

  Is there any sexual chemistry? Because I feel like when nice guys are too nice, it's a little like, oh.

• 10:15Speaker 00

  No, I don't know if he's too nice or too smart. There's something off, though. I, I feel like I'm not giving him a fair chance because.

• 10:22Alex Cooper?

  Why? He's a billionaire. I feel he's been looked past.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  I think he's low-key like was probably a nerd in his twenties. And now he's like.

• 10:31Alex Cooper?

  And now he's cool because he's a billionaire.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know. That's like an asset.

• 10:34Alex Cooper?

  But I feel like of all the things you've probably looked past with men, like, anything with him, you could get past because he's a billionaire. Wait, did you see? Have you guys seen anything on TikTok about what people are saying about us?

• 10:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, I actually have.

• 10:46Alex Cooper?

  Wait, I like.

• 10:47Speaker 00

  I'm getting sent a lot of things that, that you're grooming me.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  I was like, wait, what?

• 11:00Speaker 00

  Like, she's grooming her.

• 11:03Alex Cooper?

  I have been grooming her since the day I met her, okay? What does that even fucking mean? You've literally been doing this without me, before you met me.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 11:12Alex Cooper?

  And now, I'm just literally, like, helping you with production.

• 11:16Speaker 00

  You're just the groomer.

• 11:19Alex Cooper?

  I am literally the groomer come one, come all. If you want to get groomed by Alex Cooper, yeah. Wait, no, I was actually more talking about, like, this, like, there was, like, a financial conversation. Did you see this?

• 11:31Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 11:32Alex Cooper?

  People were saying, like, there's something, I saw a TikTok, it was too much, I was, like, too hammered, and they were talking about, like, the Renaissance.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  Oh, I did, she was talking about, like, Jane Eyre or something, like, wait. I was like, wait, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 11:43Alex Cooper?

  I think that they were, like, a little, like, perturbed by the conversation about, like, your dad having money or something.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  They're probably broke.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Anyone that comments being like, this girl sucks, blah, blah, blah, it's Donna Flax, you're poor.

• 12:00Speaker 00

  And I don't, and I, I don't feel bad for you.

• 12:02Alex Cooper?

  Here's the thing, I don't relate to that concept because I at one point was fucking broke, and so I, I can talk about this shit, like, I worked fucking hard. You, eh, shut up, but me, no, I was kidding.

• 12:16Speaker 00

  Well, no, I know, it's true.

• 12:18Alex Cooper?

  Moving on, what else should we talk about? You think people think I'm grooming you?

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Wait, there was one video that she's like, she's trying to pull her out of, like, all this information, I'm like, no, that's just how we talk.

• 12:30Alex Cooper?

  Wait, she's trying to pull all this information out, what does that mean?

• 12:33Speaker 00

  Like, about, like, sex stories and shit.

• 12:36Alex Cooper?

  What?

• 12:37Speaker 00

  I saw this whole, like, in-depth video analyzing my every word.

• 12:41Alex Cooper?

  Bitch, I literally wish we had a fucking camera on us when we were in my fucking house drinking whiskey because we literally are speaking the exact same way, if not, no, you don't.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Remember when you gave me seventeen house tours?

• 12:57Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control. Your money should move you forward. With SoFi, you get award-winning banking, investing, borrowing, and more all in one app. So you finally know where your money is. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings. Competitive APY, no account fees, a bonus when you join with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. SoFi Bank, N A member FDIC. When you're ready to invest or pay off that debt, everything you need is right there. As a SoFi member, you get access to SoFi Wealth's world-class financial planners to help you know what to do next. Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy.

• 13:42Alex Cooper?

  SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ritual. We are learning so much about how the gut microbiome is key to our mental health, immunity, and of course digestion. And I just feel like I didn't know any of this until recently, which is a problem because this is literally everything that we do need to know to take care of ourselves. But did you know, because now I know, the gut microbiome shifts during pregnancy, ladies? And these shifts can impact mom and baby's health in pregnancy and postpartum. And that is why Ritual created NADAL Biotic, a specialized biotic with clinically studied strains

• 14:25Alex Cooper?

  for pregnancy and postpartum microbiome support to support digestive health, mood, vaginal health, and baby's immune health. I have been trying so hard to take care of myself during this pregnancy. And I think something that has been very helpful is actually learning about the things that now I will carry, not only just during this pregnancy, but I will continue to take care of myself in a way that I really never have before. I think sometimes as women, we don't have the tools or we don't know what we're supposed to be doing. And so we sometimes just freeze and we don't do anything. And since having Ritual in my life, it has been so nice to have this daily ritual where I'm actually taking care of myself and my baby, which feels Great. So whether you're pregnant, postpartum, or looking for everyday trusted daily gut

• 15:09Alex Cooper?

  support, get clinically studied biotics to support your gut health with Ritual. My listeners can save 25% off their first month at ritual.com/callherdaddy. That's ritual.com/callherdaddy for 25% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by T-Mobile. Daddy gang, there are honestly so many reasons to just choose T-Mobile. They've got T-Mobile Tuesdays perks, tons of freebies, travel benefits like hotel and rental car savings. They make your phone plan feel like it's actually giving you something back

• 15:52Alex Cooper?

  instead of just being another bill that you have to pay every single month. And if you're a student, T-Mobile has student perks plans designed specifically for you. I remember being in college and constantly, literally just looking for ways to save money, understandably. And so these are the kind of perks I would have absolutely taken advantage of. Students can get things like a $5 movie ticket every month, exclusive access to concerts, okay, and even streaming benefits. So you can always have a reality TV binge night with your girls. And when you're already paying for your phone every month, getting all of these extra benefits on top of it, just, it makes sense, right?

• 16:33Alex Cooper?

  For all the reasons to choose T-Mobile, find yours at tmobile.com/membership. Qualifying plan required. Visit tmobile.com. No, you guys.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  No.

• 16:44Alex Cooper?

  I, Matt and I put Hallie to bed one night. We get to my house. Hallie is literally so drunk. I'm pretty sober.

• 16:50Speaker 00

  I was cross. I was so, I don't smoke, Alex.

• 16:53Alex Cooper?

  We get home and Hallie's like, one more nightcap, one more nightcap. And I'm like, okay, fine, fucking shit. And Matt's like so excited. He's like, yes, one more nightcap.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  The whiskey.

• 17:01Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, the whiskey. So I start pouring her whiskey and I make us ramen noodles. Hallie was hesitant, but she took the noodles.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  I don't like food, but I ate the ramen.

• 17:08Alex Cooper?

  So then we ate and we brought you upstairs to the guest bedroom. Hallie was like, I don't want to go to bed yet. You were literally stomping your foot. You said, I want a house tour.

• 17:16Speaker 00

  I was like begging Lauren to stay up with me. I wanted to have a summer party.

• 17:20Alex Cooper?

  Lauren, immediately gone. So we go upstairs and Hallie is like, show me your closet. She's walking around in my closet. She's going into Mia and Matt's bed. We finally get her to into her room. We have a threesome.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  That may peg me.

• 17:34Alex Cooper?

  We get her into her room and Hallie sits down on the carpet and she's like, good night. And we're like, what are you doing? She's like, I was gonna just sleep on the bathroom floor. There's a perfectly good king sized bed waiting for her. So Matt says, sit the fuck down. She sits down on the couch and Matt proceeds to take Hallie's feet. And starts taking off her shoes and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Cause you don't know, I don't know where this is going. And we're like, literally shut up. We don't undress her.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  That's where the grooming started.

• 18:01Alex Cooper?

  And this is where the grooming started. We tuck her into bed.

• 18:04Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 18:05Alex Cooper?

  And she went to bed. She wakes up the next day. She comes down for coffee and she asks me for a fucking house tour. I'm like, I literally took you through my whole fucking house last night, you cunt.

• 18:15Speaker 00

  But that morning I woke up, I literally didn't know where I was. I was like, this doesn't look like the hotel.

• 18:20Alex Cooper?

  Is she gonna tell the fucking computer story?

• 18:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:22Alex Cooper?

  Hallie, did you not watch our episode of Call Her Daddy?

• 18:24Speaker 00

  I watched parts of it.

• 18:27Alex Cooper?

  Let's just run this back. Insert clip from Call Her Daddy. I'm, let me guess what you did.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:31Alex Cooper?

  You went up to the desktop, you pressed the spacebar.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  You know, I couldn't watch the whole episode by myself.

• 18:36Alex Cooper?

  It's kinda scary, huh?

• 18:38Speaker 00

  No, it's very scary. And I knew what I was talking about the whole time. So I was like, fuck.

• 18:43Alex Cooper?

  Did you, when you, okay, wait, can we talk about, how are you feeling about having a podcast now? Did you get a good response? This is gonna be your second episode. Like, how's the response been going?

• 18:51Speaker 00

  I think it's been positive. I think we got some, I think shock values, what's needed here.

• 18:58Alex Cooper?

  Did you hear from the terrorist?

• 19:02Speaker 00

  Which one?

• 19:03Alex Cooper?

  The man, the man with the short story.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  No.

• 19:07Alex Cooper?

  I didn't know if he would reach out to you being like, please don't talk about me.

• 19:10Speaker 00

  Well, it's too fucking late.

• 19:11Alex Cooper?

  I'm so proud of you. I feel like you're doing such a great job. I've groomed you to success and now I can let you fly.

• 19:18Speaker 00

  No.

• 19:19Alex Cooper?

  Wait, are you coming tonight or no?

• 19:21Speaker 00

  No, I am coming tonight.

• 19:22Alex Cooper?

  Oh, okay. You didn't have to. No, I want you to. No, no, no.

• 19:28Speaker 00

  I'm gonna be thinking about that all day.

• 19:32Alex Cooper?

  No, I'm saying like, I don't want you to feel like you have to. Grayden, are you coming? I'm like, but you know what I mean? Like, I don't want you guys to feel like you have to.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  Alex has not want us to come.

• 19:41Alex Cooper?

  I don't want you guys to feel like you're

• 19:44Alex Cooper?

  kinda overheating, but I have to keep up like the-

• 19:47Speaker 00

  No, I'm over- it's seventy degrees. I just figured out my heat yesterday.

• 19:49Alex Cooper?

  I have to take this off.

• 19:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 19:51Alex Cooper?

  Wait, meeting Lauren's boyfriend last night was so fun.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  Can I tell you something, though?

• 19:56Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  People online think that it's not just something I did like a few times, that it's like a service I provide. It's like, people think like Lauren will call me and be like, "Hi, I'm making dinner. Jordan's dick sucked. Can you come Uber over?" Like, that's not, that's not what it was. It's only on holidays.

• 20:14Alex Cooper?

  Slay.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  We were celebrating-

• 20:16Alex Cooper?

  Specifically Memorial Day.

• 20:20Alex Cooper?

  I feel like it only happens in Nantucket. Wait, where are the locations it's happened?

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Uh, it's Nan- just Nantucket.

• 20:26Alex Cooper?

  See, I feel like you guys get fucking freaky on Nantucket.

• 20:29Speaker 00

  Well, like, there's, it's something in the air. I think Nantucket's like where I've been my freakiest self.

• 20:33Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, cuz it's kinda like Narnia. It feels like a fake land, then you go back to reality and you're like, ooh, like-

• 20:38Speaker 00

  I just like drag one back to the basement of my parents' home that has no windows and just like a gas bed and just let it rip. Wait, Grayden hooked up with someone the other day?

• 20:47Alex Cooper?

  Get in here now. Just a quick one, then get back in bed.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  Breaking news. Grayden sucked.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  And got sucked. No, and on the Cape. Did you go sixty-nine? No, uh, wait, I was in my car and I was driving and he was diddling me, obviously. And I got a new car and it's like, I don't know, I don't know how to work my new car, right? So I take my seatbelt off while he's diddling me. And if you take my, your seatbelt off in my car, the whole fucking car turns off. Okay? I didn't know this. So mid diddle, I'm driving, I take my seatbelt off cuz the seatbelt's in the way, my whole car turns off, I lose control of steering, and my car just stops in the middle of the road. This kid's hands in my pants.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  And we're look- It was insane. It was like really dangerous. And we just look at each other and I was like, alright, that just like killed the whole entire vibe.

• 21:37Alex Cooper?

  Little.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  So then I had to turn the whole, the car on. I didn't know how to turn the car on. It was a whole thing.

• 21:43Alex Cooper?

  Wait.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  But yeah.

• 21:45Alex Cooper?

  Keep going.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  I'm trying to remember.

• 21:47Speaker 00

  So who suck who first? Wait, also, who decides?

• 21:50Speaker 03

  A defender.

• 21:52Alex Cooper?

  You have a defender.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  Um, who decides who starts? I don't know, bitch. Who decides who starts when you fuck? It's probably you.

• 22:02Alex Cooper?

  Who is better, you think?

• 22:04Speaker 03

  Me, definitely.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  But you bet out of commission.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  I know. Muscle memory.

• 22:12Alex Cooper?

  And I feel like sometimes the first time back, you really give it all you got.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Like, your life fucking depends on it. Because it does.

• 22:18Alex Cooper?

  Were you in the front seat? Did you pull over?

• 22:22Speaker 03

  No, I was driving.

• 22:23Alex Cooper?

  Well, you're not giving it while you're driving.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Well, the first, actually, the first time we, the first time we hooked up, I was driving and I was sucking him off with one hand on the steering wheel. This was years ago and I almost crashed my fucking car into a telephone pole. When I was, I used to be really crazy, if you can't tell.

• 22:43Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control. Your money should move you forward. With SoFi, you get award-winning banking, investing, borrowing, and more, all in one app, so you finally know where your money is. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings. Competitive APY, no account fees, a bonus when you join with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. SoFi Bank, N A member, FDIC. When you're ready to invest or pay off that debt, everything you need is right there. As a SoFi member, you get access to SoFi Wealth's world-class financial planners to help you know what to do next.

• 23:24Alex Cooper?

  Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy. SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. Daddy gang, did you know the average person has to send out 51 resumes just to try to land a job? It is insane and it's a lot of work, but on. Honestly, I believe that, right? I remember when I got my first job out of college, I literally spent months applying and applying and applying and then applying. And the worst part is you can spend all this time finding the right role, fixing your resume, writing the application, and then you might not even hear back, right? And it is so frustrating because you're like, okay,

• 24:09Alex Cooper?

  I know I would be so great for this job, but how do I actually get them to even notice me? That is where ZipRecruiter comes in, my friends. Okay, ZipRecruiter matches you up with the right job in minutes. And their new feature even lets your application be seen first by employers. You can try it out by going to ziprecruiter.com/daddy. It is such a game changer, guys. When you apply for a job, you can be seen first. Just tell the employer why you're interested in the role, and your application jumps to the top of their list. No matter where you are in your career journey, make your application be seen first only on ZipRecruiter. Try it out now by going to this exclusive web address,

• 24:53Alex Cooper?

  ziprecruiter.com/daddy. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com/daddy.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  I used to be nuts. I've been to jail.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Did you know that? Have I told you that?

• 25:06Alex Cooper?

  No, why have you been to jail?

• 25:07Speaker 03

  I was really drunk and I was underage.

• 25:09Alex Cooper?

  No.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  I feel like you were like sassy, like

• 25:13Speaker 03

  I was crazy.

• 25:13Speaker 00

  Fuck the police when you were young.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  The police chief in my hometown knew me by my first and last name because I would get in so much trouble.

• 25:20Alex Cooper?

  Where did you get arrested?

• 25:22Speaker 03

  This place called the Xfinity Center.

• 25:26Alex Cooper?

  In Philadelphia?

• 25:27Speaker 03

  No, in Mass.

• 25:28Speaker 00

  Was it like at a country concert or something? Because I've almost got arrested there too.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  Dirk Bentley, yeah.

• 25:32Alex Cooper?

  Classic.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  I got fingered during that concert.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 25:35Speaker 00

  In the mosh.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. By the, on the grass?

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  In the back, in the green, by the trees?

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Like by the porta potties.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  Yes. Yeah, that's where everybody used to get fingered. Should we go?

• 25:48Alex Cooper?

  Wait.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  That would be crazy.

• 25:49Alex Cooper?

  So how did you get arrested? What were you doing, just drinking?

• 25:52Speaker 03

  Um, okay, so I had a bunch of nips stuffed in my shoe, like shooters, like nips. And then I gave the cop a fake ID, and then he ran it, and it like obviously was fake. So they threw me in the slammer, and then my dad never came to fucking pick me up. So they put me to real jail. Yeah.

• 26:12Alex Cooper?

  Who was it?

• 26:13Speaker 03

  So annoying, it makes me so mad.

• 26:15Alex Cooper?

  What was it like in there?

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Scary. So people, well, they put me in a police van, they took off all my clothes. I only had like my base layers on. They took all my jewelry.

• 26:24Alex Cooper?

  You didn't spread the cheeks?

• 26:26Speaker 03

  No, I wish.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was great. It's bad. You do not want to go to jail. Jail's not fun. Like, I was in the real jail for a hot second.

• 26:34Alex Cooper?

  Like, how long?

• 26:36Speaker 03

  Like, an hour.

• 26:39Alex Cooper?

  I thought you were saying like a couple.

• 26:40Speaker 03

  No, no, no. No, because my dad was taking his sweet time.

• 26:44Alex Cooper?

  How much did it take to bail you out, you think?

• 26:46Speaker 03

  It was like twenty-five dollars. It was like, yeah.

• 26:49Speaker 00

  Did you tell her the ski mask story? Were you s-

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Did I?

• 26:54Alex Cooper?

  I'm sorry, I can't get over the fact that Crayden just said that with one hand he was driving a vehicle and on the other side he had one eye up and do you have the thing where you're cr- you're cross-eyed, right? So you can kind of look one eye up and one eye down at the dick? I can do it.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  No, I wasn't looking at the road at all.

• 27:09Alex Cooper?

  Crayden, pull over.

• 27:10Speaker 00

  That's how people die.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  This was when I was in high school, so like, obviously I'm gonna do that in high school.

• 27:15Alex Cooper?

  Obviously.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  You just keep one hand on this? Don't do this. You keep one hand on the steering wheel on a straight road. So then you just hold the steering wheel and you go straight.

• 27:25Speaker 00

  Well, he was hot, though.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know he was hot.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  He's always the hottest on Thanksgiving Eve. It's like this weird thing.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, people get hotter on Thanksgiving Eve.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  It's every fucking Wednesday night on Thanks- the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, every time, sexy. Other than that, needs some work.

• 27:40Alex Cooper?

  Who came first?

• 27:41Speaker 03

  None.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  What?

• 27:44Speaker 03

  I know.

• 27:45Alex Cooper?

  What?

• 27:45Speaker 03

  Because of the car. My car turned off, it like fucked up the whole vibe.

• 27:48Alex Cooper?

  Oh, and then it just stopped there?

• 27:49Speaker 00

  Your car turned off, you turned on?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. I turned off and my car turned off.

• 27:53Alex Cooper?

  Wait.

• 27:55Alex Cooper?

  And why haven't you guys had sex?

• 27:57Speaker 03

  I don't really want to.

• 27:57Speaker 00

  Crayden doesn't like sex.

• 27:59Alex Cooper?

  Yeah. It's too much.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  I'm picky.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  I wish I was more picky.

• 28:03Alex Cooper?

  Do you have more bodies than her?

• 28:04Speaker 03

  No, I only have like eight.

• 28:06Alex Cooper?

  Wait, one, two, three, four, five?

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Just kidding.

• 28:09Alex Cooper?

  Any same names?

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Um.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  I like how they like progressively got more famous.

• 28:15Alex Cooper?

  Wait.

• 28:18Alex Cooper?

  We agree, and what is the ski mask story?

• 28:20Speaker 00

  No, you have to tell Alex the ski mask story. This is so important to society.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  Just like, paint the picture in my head.

• 28:26Alex Cooper?

  Okay, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Okay, so, once again, I'm on Cape Cod, um, the hometown, the homeland. And I got this message from this person on this app called Grindr. Which I use very cautiously, because like, I don't wanna get killed, right? This person messages me and it said a couple things in their like bio and I was like, I just feel like I know who this person is. But he wouldn't send me a picture. He wouldn't send me a picture, so I had no idea who he was.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  I feel like on Grindr, they just show like their weird.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, they show like a torso picture, like a body picture.

• 29:04Alex Cooper?

  Why did you feel like you knew who it was?

• 29:06Speaker 03

  I just had this, I had this feeling.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  Well, wasn't he tall? And like, you like, there was only so many tall people in the Cape or something?

• 29:12Speaker 03

  As tall as me, like tallish.

• 29:14Alex Cooper?

  Oh, because Cape Cod is small?

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:16Alex Cooper?

  Ish. Okay.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  And his picture was like, a picture of like a picture frame. Like for his picture, it wasn't his body. And I was like, I feel like I like would know that picture for some reason. Anyway, so I meet up with this kid in a parking lot. And I could have been like brutally murdered, I'm not gonna lie. It was at like 1 a.m. and like this like weird part of town I don't go to, obviously. And I'm, I'm waiting there and I look into the wood. I need to like.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  I look in. I look into the woods. It's like a foggy night. Like, there's fog. This fucking person emerges out of the woods, wearing like a matching sweatsuit and a fucking ski mask, approaching my car. And before he even got into my car, I knew who it was.

• 30:06Alex Cooper?

  Ow.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  I just knew. He gets into my car. The only way he would talk is like in mumbles, so I couldn't recognize his voice.

• 30:15Speaker 00

  Like, suck it.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  He was like, hey. Like.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  Suck my shit.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Like, fucking, speaking in tribal or something. Okay.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  He takes out his schlong. I'm not even kidding, it almost hit my fucking dashboard. It was huge.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  And that's where the story ends, because he couldn't get hard and then it kicked him out.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  Didn't, wasn't he going back to his like girlfriend too?

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  Wait, I thought you made it.

• 30:42Speaker 03

  I hope not. Well, not my problem.

• 30:44Alex Cooper?

  Grian, in that moment when he pulls out. And you see it on the dash.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  It's like it goes out my window on the other side.

• 30:58Alex Cooper?

  When Godzilla enters the picture, are you like, and what did you say? You tried to like jack him off? Do you touch him at all?

• 31:06Speaker 03

  I was like, it's gonna be a long night.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Oh, I was putting my whole, I was putting my whole back into it.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  That's the worst when you're sucking off a flaccid penis.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Just fucking shaking it. I'm like, what's going on?

• 31:19Speaker 00

  Shake weight.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  No, literally.

• 31:22Alex Cooper?

  And then how did he leave? Like, he just literally left in silence?

• 31:26Speaker 03

  I kicked him out and then I'm sure he did like a mumble and was like, bye.

• 31:31Alex Cooper?

  Did you ever see this man again?

• 31:33Speaker 03

  No, but he messaged me again last week. He wants more.

• 31:37Alex Cooper?

  On the same app?

• 31:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. You have to do it.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  I will.

• 31:42Alex Cooper?

  No, you have to reply and be like, bring the ski mask, like for old times sake.

• 31:46Speaker 00

  See, I think I would like that.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  No, I told him I know who he is.

• 31:49Alex Cooper?

  What did he say?

• 31:50Speaker 03

  He was like, oh, fuck or something. But I was like, you're a fucking idiot.

• 31:53Alex Cooper?

  Right. And like, who cares?

• 31:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:55Alex Cooper?

  Why is he wearing a ski mask?

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Cause he's straight.

• 31:58Alex Cooper?

  Okay, he is straight.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:59Alex Cooper?

  So does he have a girlfriend?

• 32:00Speaker 00

  I think you said that, like, oh, I have to go back to my girlfriend anyways.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  I don't like really know. I've never seen him in person. Like, I don't really know his life.

• 32:09Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. So the other day I was just scrolling on my phone and one of those one year ago today notifications popped up. I usually don't pay much attention to them, but when I saw it was from my Napa trip with Lauren. I obviously had to go back through every single photo. I remember we drove up to Napa for a weekend and found the cutest farmhouse on Airbnb to stay in. The location could not have been more perfect. It was right by a vineyard and overlooked this beautiful golf course, which yes, Matt was very jealous of. During the day, we went wine tasting like a little cute couple.

• 32:55Alex Cooper?

  Then we brought our favorite bottles back to the house at night for cozy, long girl talks on the couch. Obviously, I

• 33:04Alex Cooper?

  Haven't had a drink in forever since being pregnant, so I cannot wait for wine nights again soon with my girlfriends. And now that holiday travel season is finally here, all of my group chats are going off with everyone trying to coordinate dates and just figure out where we're going to stay and where we're going to go next. But looking back through those photos reminded me that some of the best parts of a trip happen back at the house, right? Like, that's why I love booking a home on Airbnb. It literally gives everyone space to just spread out and it makes every trip feel more relaxed. You can even order groceries, which I love, for your trip through Airbnb and have everything from breakfast essentials

• 33:46Alex Cooper?

  to holiday snacks delivered after you arrive. If you're planning your Thanksgiving trip or any holiday travel this season, definitely check out Airbnb before you book. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. I always think it is so important to find time to take care of myself because I think self-care for me, a lot of times, is getting some alone time, even if it's just go on a 10-minute walk outside. Self-care can obviously look different at different stages of life, and the ways that we practice it often evolve over time. But one possible way to take care of yourself is through therapy. Therapy with BetterHelp, one of the leading online therapy platforms, can be a space to prioritize your mental health, reflect on where you are, and check in with yourself. With over 30,000 therapists

• 34:30Alex Cooper?

  worldwide, BetterHelp has served millions of people globally. BetterHelp makes it easier to fit therapy into your routine with flexible ways to connect that work for different schedules and lifestyles. Plus, BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience, and they hold required education, training, and certifications. You can meet with a range of professionals from marriage and family therapists to social workers, counselors, you name it, they have it. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/daddy. That's better, H-E-L-P.com/daddy.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  It's funny because like Raiden will go on Grindr on Nantucket and we'll like walk into crew and he'll be like, it's like a bunch of like married couples and their families and he'll be like, he's on Grindr, he's on Grindr.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 35:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's fucking insane.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  None of them are hot.

• 35:21Speaker 00

  It's just sad. Like, it's 2024, just come out.

• 35:24Alex Cooper?

  I wish they could like be like themselves.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, I don't really care, but.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  It's not my problem, you know, but none of them that are like that hot.

• 35:37Alex Cooper?

  Okay, great. And I'm really sorry that that happened to you. Do you feel used?

• 35:43Speaker 03

  So hard. Do I feel used? No. I'm big, strong boy.

• 35:49Alex Cooper?

  Are you hungover?

• 35:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I'm kind of drunk now from this Bloody Mary.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  Wait, I feel great now.

• 35:53Alex Cooper?

  I feel so good.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Should we go out?

• 35:57Alex Cooper?

  It's literally eleven in the morning.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, wait.

• 36:00Alex Cooper?

  Wait, so you're coming tonight?

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:02Alex Cooper?

  What are you gonna wear?

• 36:04Speaker 00

  Wait, what is the plan tonight?

• 36:05Alex Cooper?

  You guys, I have no idea. The plan was we're gonna have a cocktail hour. I just thought it would be like nice to keep it going. Like, I want to keep celebrating you. Did you like my speech last night?

• 36:14Speaker 00

  No, I love you so much. You don't understand.

• 36:17Alex Cooper?

  I wanted to have like a little like cocktail hour with us to just like keep drinking.

• 36:21Speaker 00

  Is it just us tonight?

• 36:22Alex Cooper?

  The three of us.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  Imagine.

• 36:24Alex Cooper?

  I rented out a whole.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  Matt stay home.

• 36:26Alex Cooper?

  Matt stay home. Um, no, it's, I think it's gonna just be like everyone, like kind of similar to last night-ish.

• 36:32Speaker 00

  No, it's at a good restaurant too.

• 36:34Alex Cooper?

  It is?

• 36:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:35Alex Cooper?

  Where is it?

• 36:36Speaker 00

  You don't know where it is?

• 36:37Alex Cooper?

  I have literally no idea where we're going.

• 36:39Speaker 00

  To St. Theo's. Have you been there before?

• 36:41Alex Cooper?

  Never been there in my life.

• 36:42Speaker 00

  It's great Italian.

• 36:43Alex Cooper?

  I think we just gotta like start drinking early.

• 36:45Speaker 00

  Wait, I love when you're like this.

• 36:46Alex Cooper?

  Maybe we'll go out again. Where do you guys go when we go out?

• 36:49Speaker 03

  I've only been to, I've only been out here to Little Sister twice. That's it.

• 36:53Alex Cooper?

  That guy on my list?

• 36:54Speaker 00

  Definitely been at Little Sister.

• 36:56Alex Cooper?

  The one and only time I was at Little Sister is when, see this hockey player that I had like on and off talk to in college. So I'm there and I see him and I knew he had a girlfriend, but I see him and like, we kind of knew each other from college. So I still went up to him. I'm not trying to fuck him, but then the rest of the night he was trying to fuck. And I always thought he was so hot and I only had sucked his dick. It was the first like curved penis that I like did the gluck gluck on. And I like really learned a lot from it. It literally was so huge and then at the top more, but like kind of the whole, um, to the side.

• 37:28Speaker 00

  Down, down would be crazy. It depends what way you're looking at it.

• 37:36Alex Cooper?

  It kind of is like that straw, like that. Yeah, what is that? That's to the side or is that up? That's down. That's down?

• 37:43Speaker 00

  Well, it depends what way you're looking at it.

• 37:45Alex Cooper?

  Listen, I was scared to have sex with it because I don't know how that would work.

• 37:48Speaker 00

  You would squirt.

• 37:49Alex Cooper?

  You would?

• 37:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:50Alex Cooper?

  I feel like that hit the side of my walls, not my G-spot. Anyway, so I'm at Little Sister. We're talking, we're talking. It slowly gets more progressively flirty and then we go to Avenue after. Do people still go there?

• 38:02Speaker 00

  Avenue is closed. I've had sex in the Avenue bathroom.

• 38:03Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my God. Avenue is so good. It's just like these tight walls and everyone's just getting fucked. And so we're sitting up on the, we're sitting up. It's the end of the night and I literally look him in the eyes and I say, "I have no interest in doing this if you actually are still with that girl. Like, please." And the whole night, he's been convincing me, "I don't have a girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. She's so obsessed with me. I don't have a girlfriend. So obviously I fuck. I bleed everywhere, you guys. I'm not kidding you. Yeah, the dick."

• 38:29Speaker 03

  It punctured you.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  It punctured an artery.

• 38:37Alex Cooper?

  You guys, I didn't realize how bad the blood was until in the morning, his agent walked in and was like, "You have like a body armor shoe or something." And he walks in, he goes, "Oh shit." We're both laying there naked. There's blood all over the sheets. There's blood on the walls.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  I feel like men don't care about that shit.

• 38:51Alex Cooper?

  It was so dark and there was blood everywhere. And then, you guys, less than a month later, he was down on one knee and proposed. And now they're married.

• 38:58Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  She's still bleeding.

• 39:02Alex Cooper?

  I've never been the same since. Anyways, yeah, so now he's married and I don't know, I don't know about that. Cheers to her. I hope he's not cheating, that little scummy.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Here's the curved dick.

• 39:12Alex Cooper?

  Have you had a lot of curved dick?

• 39:14Speaker 03

  Not to the side.

• 39:18Alex Cooper?

  Wait, Grayden.

• 39:19Speaker 00

  That makes no sense.

• 39:20Alex Cooper?

  What does it look like?

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Usually when you say a dick curve, you're like, it goes like this.

• 39:26Alex Cooper?

  No, hold it like it's sticking out of you right now.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  Like either this way or this way? Not fucking that way.

• 39:34Speaker 00

  No, I feel like it has a hook to the left or right.

• 39:36Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like just a little hook. It just starts going up and then it just curves, curves, curves more that way.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  Like, kinda like my eyes.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  I'm getting scared.

• 39:45Alex Cooper?

  Okay, wait, so where are we going tonight?

• 39:47Speaker 00

  We should go to Sub Mercer.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  I don't know anything about New York.

• 39:49Speaker 00

  I love Sub Mercer.

• 39:50Alex Cooper?

  What's Sub Mercer?

• 39:51Speaker 00

  It's, you know where Mercer Kitchen, Mercer Kitchen used to be? It's Artiana's now and they bought out the bar underneath and it's like a club. Good daddy's.

• 40:01Alex Cooper?

  Regardless, we're gonna go. What are you gonna wear tonight?

• 40:03Speaker 00

  Petit Disco?

• 40:04Alex Cooper?

  Petit Disco?

• 40:04Speaker 00

  You've definitely heard of Petit Disco.

• 40:06Alex Cooper?

  No. Okay, so we'll go out tonight.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  I'm holding you to that.

• 40:10Alex Cooper?

  Oh, I'm ready.

• 40:11Speaker 00

  I don't wanna get too drunk tonight. I always say that. I feel like every time you see me, I'm so fucked up around you and you're like, oh, Hallie's fucked up.

• 40:17Alex Cooper?

  Hallie, I have the best times with you.

• 40:18Speaker 00

  Okay, fine, I'll get fucked up tonight. Alright, fine, fine, fine. Okay, I feel good about this.

• 40:22Alex Cooper?

  Um, okay, you guys, I think we just crushed this.

• 40:24Speaker 00

  No, I think this is amazing.

• 40:26Alex Cooper?

  Are you feel great, Ann?

• 40:28Speaker 03

  I needed to get that off my chest, so I feel great.

• 40:31Alex Cooper?

  The jail part or?

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Um, no, I don't care about the jail part. The dick in my mouth.

• 40:38Alex Cooper?

  Okay, bye, guys. Wait, this is your show. Say something.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  I hate the end. I hate the end every time.

• 40:44Alex Cooper?

  Guys, this place has great energy. Tune back in every week.

• 40:50Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 40:51Alex Cooper?

  For this bitch. Tune in for the tits. Tune in for great and sucking stories. I may be back. Every time I'm in New York, I need to come on this fucking couch.

• 40:59Speaker 00

  No, I really think you do.

• 41:01Alex Cooper?

  It brings me back. From the VP to here. Let's fucking go.

• 41:05Speaker 00

  Perfect. Love you all.

• 41:07Alex Cooper?

  Love you all. Bye.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  I took notes on this night because I literally had to like have other people piece it together for me. It was quite the fucking night. I mean, guys, I am wrapping up the weekend, obviously. I'm missing three nails. I just hopped out the sauna. I could smell the tequila and merlot.

• 41:35Speaker 00

  Exiting the chat, but like honestly, the missing nails, that's a fucking telltale sign of a good night. Also, I feel like I'm like three pounds lighter and hair extensions. Those I left on Nantucket, we'll get into that. Anyways, where did the night begin? We went out with a good group of people. Guys, I swear, we went to every fucking location in New York City. We went out with Alex and Matt. We started with a bigger group, a solid group, a great group at this restaurant, St. Theo's. We had some more durs, we got the drinks flowing. I again promised myself that I was gonna go into the night, you know, not drink that much, not embarrass myself in front of father. But alas, the eyes were

• 42:17Speaker 00

  crossing quickly as the night began. So we started there and then we decided it'd be a good idea to go to Zero Bond. I love Zero Bond. I honestly don't know if Alex has been there, but I want to show her Zero Bond. So we went in the back. We had more dirty martinis, but by the time we were sitting down at Zero Bond, I could feel it. I was getting fuzzy. My eyes were definitely crossed. I had one eye looking directly in front of me and the other eye was already looking at the next location of the night. Like I woke up, went into my camera roll. I had a video of me, Alex and Liv. We were all in the bathroom. Liv had scissors. For some reason, one of us thought it was gonna be a good idea to

• 42:58Speaker 00

  cut half of Alex's skirt off to make it like more micro. Honestly, it looked amazing, but I don't know who thought, who trusted us with scissors. I don't know. But anyways, we started the night there. We dropped a couple flies, probably like the people that actually had some logic that didn't want to continue the night because by that time, we, the drinks were fucking flowing. We were cozy. We're like, oh, oh, aye, aye, aye, oh, oh. Then we texted our mutual, we have a mutual friend in New York. We texted him and his friends. They had a table at this place called the Mulberry. I mean, I call them the daddies. So like he had friends that were like the daddies and we like went and met up with them. The one daddy that I had actually had gone on a date with recently, but like this man is perfect to the T.

• 43:44Speaker 00

  This man, he is successful. He is sexy. He is suckable. He's all the most important things you could think of. But just, I think I am the problem here and I don't wanna like kinder his soul. I feel like I would cause a ruckus in this poor, sweet man's life. I mean, he's so sweet. So I go, Lauren, this guy would be perfect for you. Like, go for the billionaire daddy. And she was like, wait, what, what? Like, why are you just giving the man you just wanna date with him? I'm like, oh, I think him. There's more where that came from. There's more where that came from. So anyways, we did that and honestly, I don't really remember.

• 44:23Speaker 00

  Hold on, let me check my notes. This is, this is sad that I have to check my notes up. Did we really do that? So I remember being at this bar and this is a fun bar, but it's a small bar and there's also no windows. Like, there's no exit plan. If that place were to light on fire, you know, like, I'm not climbing out of the dungeon. That's kinda how like I felt going into it. It's like very underneath. It's like subterranean and it gets really fucking hot in there. And also, we didn't have that much room to sit. I also like didn't know if I was fucking with the music and like that can dictate my mood. I can go from a good mood to a bad mood really quickly. I remember like not jiving with like, it was like playing funky town or some shit like that. I don't know, that wasn't my jam. So we went to the next spot.

• 45:05Speaker 00

  And but I, we could've called it a night after the third spot or was it the fourth spot? No, yeah, we went to Do West, which I love. You know, I love a good Do West Sundays. If you wanna find hot, rich men, go to Do West on a Sunday afternoon. Not me like, I should gatekeep places like that, but I'm a real one. Like, go to fucking Do West. Then we went there and by that point, I think like my tap-ins were out and flapping in the wind. My hair was undone. We only have video footage. I don't have memory at that point in the night. But it was fucking fun. Like, we had a good time. Like, we were drinking, we were laughing, we were being silly, we were letting loose.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  I don't even remember what men we were with at that point. But you know what the most sickening part of this whole situation is? I had called a black lane, which is basically like a fancier Uber, it's like a car service, to pick up me and Grayden. We decided like in our drunken endeavors that it'd be a good idea to leave at 6 a.m. and go from here to Nantucket. I made it a fucking point to have the car pick us up at 6 a.m. on the dot so we can make this 12 p.m. ferry. We get there. Our driver was like, I don't know the area, like I don't want to drive too fast. This guy was moving like fucking molasses, which I respect because safety first.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  But we missed the boat by four minutes. I was literally waving to my friends that were on it. We were like, no, fuck. So what did we do? We went to the little diner right next to it and we got like three Bloody Marys and a lobster roll, which honestly made us feel a bit better. But the fact that we woke up so early just to miss the fucking boat sparked a flame in my soul that I really don't even want to get into right now, but it was annoying, but whatever. And then I got to the island. We kind of got there, took a nap and then woke up and I was like, we, we're in fucking Nantucket right now. And what did I miss? What was the only piece of thing I left back in my apartment? My whole wallet, my purse. So not only did I have that long ass travel day going there,

• 47:15Speaker 00

  I had no ID to get into any single fucking bar, nothing, although I do have a pole there, so I was completely fine. But I couldn't fly home, so I had to take a train, like all, like a ferry. There is no easy way of getting to Nantucket quickly, especially on a weekend like Christmas stroll. But you know what? It was fucking fun and we lived to tell us, it was good. It was good night. It was good in multiple nights. It was a fun weekend. You know what I'm trying to say? I don't even have enough time to sit and talk about that in this episode. I'll get to that in a different episode because the debauchery, like I feel like this nail that I have missing right here is probably Lodge and some sailor's ass. But you know what? I lived to tell the story barely. Um, like my neck hurts and I need to call my mom.

• 48:00Speaker 00

  But anyways, what a fucking time. We crushed it. New York City. I sound like I'm like giving a speech right now. Anyways, I love you guys. That's all for today's episode and so many kisses and bis. Love you all.

• 48:20Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by American Eagle. Holiday outfits just got way easier. American Eagle's new arrivals are basically everything you need right now. Super soft sweaters, lightweight layers, comfy lounge styles, heritage faves, and low-rise jeans that are very much back in the rotation. Whether you're heading to a holiday thing or just hanging with your people, there's something for every plan. Just don't wait too long. Your new faves won't be around forever. You can check it all out at ae.com or just go to the store. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Alka Seltzer Cold. Life's already messy enough. Drama, dating, working, a cold or flu? We don't have time for that.

• 49:04Alex Cooper?

  Alka Seltzer Cold Fast Dissolve Tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick Alka Seltzer Cold. Nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief. Among oral OTC products, use as directed. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Stouffer's. Let me tell you something. When I am hungry and I am trying to figure out what to eat, sometimes you can just actually become so... You're angry. You're like, "I am busy. I'm hungry. I'm getting hangry. I'm getting angry. What can I eat? I need something hot and delicious and low maintenance."

• 49:49Alex Cooper?

  Well, introducing Stouffer's. Dinners are not only delicious, they're done in a flash. Serve up their classic lasagna, chicken pesto, or carbonara for two. Whatever you're craving, Stouffer's is your hot, delicious, easy meal fantasy. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. You can see all the delicious options at stouffer's.com.