MBMBaM 804: Aaron Space, Boy Astronaut

We're well-rested and our limb movements are OFF THE CHARTS, so we're ready to breathe out advice about confusingly-themed weddings, secret Arby's concerts, and a pressing need for Dr Pepper. Suggested talking points: Cool Pap, Hot Crunchy Cuboid Chips, Doubledocs for a Buck, Squarespace is My Dad, Beef Racer, Vegan + Arbys Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis Big Dog, Wolf, Vroom, Vroom, The Heater McElroy.

• 1:23Griffin McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin, 30 under 30, media luminary, built Ford tough.

• 1:31Griffin McElroy?

  Rand Johnson McElroy. He needs something pitching, like some sort of like throwing your baseball or-

• 1:36Travis McElroy?

  If you don't mind me saying, Trav, you look so well rested.

• 1:40Griffin McElroy?

  That's true.

• 1:41Travis McElroy?

  Is that in my head or do you have a little bit of the glow? No, I've got the glow, Justin, because I, and I don't want to brag, got myself a CPAP, more like an A-plus pap, if you ask me. That's right.

• 1:55Griffin McElroy?

  I imagine C stands for something pretty important, like cool.

• 1:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:59Griffin McElroy?

  It's cool.

• 1:59Travis McElroy?

  What does your body do?

• 2:01Griffin McElroy?

  C and CPAP means cool pap, right?

• 2:02Travis McElroy?

  Correct.

• 2:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, cool. What did your body do the first time you strapped a mask to your face and you were like, "And now we sleep"?

• 2:10Travis McElroy?

  What's your body like?

• 2:11Griffin McElroy?

  Ah, interesting.

• 2:12Travis McElroy?

  I don't believe.

• 2:13Griffin McElroy?

  You have a head belt on and that's new for me. Asleep.

• 2:17Travis McElroy?

  The first thing my face did is what I imagine someone in the Alien film franchise feels. When a face hugger latches on where all you want to do is claw at your head. And free yourself from it. And then the second thing my body did, because I was instructed by the person who gave me the mask and whatnot. Um, it has like a negative pressure thing, you know, it's blowing, basically it's blowing air into my nose and then kind of also. When I breathe out, pulling out and.

• 2:47Griffin McElroy?

  Oh man, that's fucking dope. You can just like chill and not even breathe. That's so sick.

• 2:53Travis McElroy?

  And then they were like. For the earth? Good for you. Yeah, man. Yeah. Um, and then they were like, but you're gonna want to keep your mouth closed. Because if you open your mouth while it's on, air will pour out of your mouth.

• 3:08Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, did that one?

• 3:08Travis McElroy?

  Nose air. Yeah, it's like a dragon. Uh, it feels like if I open my mouth while I have my CPAP on. Uncontrollably.

• 3:20Travis McElroy?

  Like all the air just shoots out of my mouth. So as soon as I put.

• 3:24Griffin McElroy?

  It's like the, it's like the, uh, the, the machine from, uh, Princess Bride. It's just like pumping the air through you.

• 3:33Travis McElroy?

  As soon as I put it on, my ADHD brain was like, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth.

• 3:39Griffin McElroy?

  You gotta know the sound it makes, Travis.

• 3:41Travis McElroy?

  The vacuum, create the vacuum. Look at the sun, look at the sun.

• 3:43Griffin McElroy?

  I, your ADHD won't let you sleep until you open your mouth. So I can hear what sound it makes.

• 3:48Travis McElroy?

  And so when I opened my mouth, it was like, uh, imagine a film. Where there's like an evil demon or something pulling the life essence out of a human being. It was that. It felt like that. Like everything was being pulled out of me.

• 4:03Griffin McElroy?

  But then it was good, right? Like eventually it was like super good.

• 4:06Travis McElroy?

  Well, the other thing that's fun about having ADHD and a CPAP is the CPAP is monitored.

• 4:11Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of letters. It's like you're eight letters deep at that point.

• 4:14Travis McElroy?

  A lot of letters, Travis. Maybe you should just take a sleeping pill, huh?

• 4:18Griffin McElroy?

  It's a lot of letters.

• 4:20Travis McElroy?

  This is the thing, Justin. This is fun. It's not exactly the sleep. That's the problem. My random limb movements are off the charts, baby. Anything above fifteen an hour is abnormal. I was averaging forty-nine an hour.

• 4:35Griffin McElroy?

  So I'm just Mr. Noodle. Kung Fu fighting.

• 4:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man. I'm over here flailing around. And so the CPAP is remotely.

• 4:43Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, wait, real quick, real quick. Let you just get a handle of the ball.

• 4:47Travis McElroy?

  I bought jokes, a massage. I bought jokes a five-minute massage. So I let him actually go get that, which is cool. I was really struggling with those random limb movements. Uh, it might have been my brain meds. I don't know. That was part of the theory. But you know what actually helped me is magnesium.

• 5:07Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 5:07Travis McElroy?

  Wow, holy shit. I, hey.

• 5:10Griffin McElroy?

  When you said send jokes out of the room.

• 5:12Travis McElroy?

  Actual chill up my spine just now.

• 5:17Griffin McElroy?

  I got a real chill up my spine. I don't know if it's from like, oh, God, this is incredibly vulnerable for our audience. Or I don't know if it's because I'm looking at Ghosts of Christmas Future and more future and seeing fucking magnesium and cyber nose implants.

• 5:32Travis McElroy?

  That was so mean.

• 5:33Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 5:35Travis McElroy?

  I mean, but to be fair, it is a fun thing about having a three-year gap between each of us. Is you can kind of chart like, well, I better start saving for that.

• 5:45Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, Griffin, you should be so lucky. You're forty-two. Juice, you're forty-two?

• 5:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:50Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. I got, I'm setting the timer. That's how long I got before I need the implants. And then Juice, a few years after that, thanks for having the same birthday. Makes it real easy for me. Magnesium all day.

• 6:00Travis McElroy?

  So it's remotely monitored.

• 6:02Griffin McElroy?

  I wish I'd started it sooner. And Griffin, you will also have the Spider-Man surgery to look forward to. We get the, the wrist, uh, cut up.

• 6:09Travis McElroy?

  I should get that done.

• 6:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah, Trav, how, how, how's the sleep been lately?

• 6:14Travis McElroy?

  So it's remotely monitored. If I don't wear it for four hours a night, uh, twenty-one nights out of thirty, you take it away. Um, so that's a fun thing to know when I am still waking up in the middle of the night. And then I have to do mental calculations real quick to see if I can take the mask off yet or not.

• 6:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 6:35Travis McElroy?

  Wait, what are you talking about? They take it away. What do you mean? Like, or I guess I have to pay for it out of pocket or whatnot. I don't know. Oh, is it like you're not, you're a bad boy who's not following? Yeah, I'm just renting the CPAP machine. I'm renting that good sleep air.

• 6:51Griffin McElroy?

  And I imagine that's the insurance company making that decision and not the medical professionals.

• 6:55Travis McElroy?

  I have to assume so. I think, can I tell you my CPAP thoughts as an outsider? Now that you've experienced it, you can tell me. Yes, please. But to me, I, somebody who's done a medical history podcast for, uh, 13 years. To me, the CPAP machine has always been like, super helpful for the, it's been a game changer, a life changer for the people that need it. But it has always seemed to me like one of the main machines that future people are gonna be like, what was this? Nice try, guys.

• 7:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I mean, they'll have some way of sending nano machines. Yeah, of course. And guess what? Fuck off, future people. We don't have nano machines.

• 7:32Travis McElroy?

  We're doing our fucking best.

• 7:33Griffin McElroy?

  We're doing our fucking shit, Justin Jr. Come on, dude, 2060 people, get out of our butt cracks for a second. We didn't have nano machines. We had to pump it in there.

• 7:41Travis McElroy?

  Do you know our apprentice, our president is the guy from Apprentice?

• 7:45Griffin McElroy?

  Are you guys fucking kidding? We're doing our goddamn best.

• 7:49Travis McElroy?

  The guy in charge of medicine is RFK Jr. You're lucky you got to exist.

• 7:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, actually, history, if you're looking back at this with research, go away, go away.

• 8:01Travis McElroy?

  You can't judge that by our year standards. We always know that in the moment.

• 8:05Griffin McElroy?

  Everything's fucking weird and so bad in a new, different way, literally every morning when we wake up. So fuck off, future people. You don't even get it.

• 8:14Travis McElroy?

  So if you're in the future and you're thinking, they thought it was all normal, but now we look back, no.

• 8:19Griffin McElroy?

  No, dude, we fucking get it for sure, for sure.

• 8:23Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna be honest, I was, I was hanging a lot of hopes on this. I'm a 42 year old man.

• 8:28Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, dude, of course.

• 8:29Travis McElroy?

  And every time, every time I get a new thing, the doctor's like, oh, I think it's this. I'm like, this is gonna fix it all. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow. I'm gonna feel fucking amazing. And then it's like, no, we're still just trying to maintain.

• 8:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Travis McElroy?

  A lev, a level of okay.

• 8:46Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 8:46Travis McElroy?

  Based on your constant, you know, failing. We're gonna try to get you back to where you were at 24, when you could stay up past 11. Yeah. That's all, that's all we can try to shoot for at this point.

• 8:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:57Travis McElroy?

  So now I've got a bike guard, I've got a CPAP, I guess I'm taking magnesium.

• 9:02Griffin McElroy?

  Now here's what I'm, my whole thing with CPAP.

• 9:04Travis McElroy?

  I'm more, I'm more plastic than man. Sorry, go ahead.

• 9:07Griffin McElroy?

  My news, my symptoms like fucking crazy. My symptoms like going absolutely hog wild in there. So my breathing's never been great. I use breathing machines, not machines, like strips and magnets and all that jazz. I do think a CPAP would be maybe something hel- helpful for me, but also I'm kinda waiting until they got screens on them. I'm kinda waiting until it's like a full like, like a full wraparound half head. Uh, sort of, I guess more futuristic VR, AR.

• 9:38Travis McElroy?

  Do, that's actually good. As long as we're there, Trav, can you do like scent blasted yet? Can you do like nacho cheese air?

• 9:46Griffin McElroy?

  Like at one of those cool hip oxygen bars that are definitely still a thing.

• 9:50Travis McElroy?

  They don't advertise that with the product, but god damn it, if I haven't thought about it. Man, I think I totally could. I got a hose, my hose comes out of the top of my head of the mask.

• 10:02Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 10:03Travis McElroy?

  I can just fully flip around in my, uh, my, my dollar store Bane cosplay. And it's all I want is for that to smell like some sick ass eucalyptus or whatever. Yeah. The first time, the first time your kids come in while you're wearing it in the middle of the night, how are you gonna avoid the temptation not to pretend you're the predator?

• 10:22Griffin McElroy?

  Cause I definitely would be like.

• 10:24Travis McElroy?

  Yes, sir. Welcome to my room, baby. Yeah. It's me, your daddy. The difference between you and me, baby. Is you're afraid of the dark and I was born in it and I need this to breathe and not flail around in the middle of the night. Uh, Teresa also has one. So we have his and hers magic like masks.

• 10:46Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's cute. Do you guys wrap your elbows around when you put them on it?

• 10:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, sometimes.

• 10:52Travis McElroy?

  What's your air like? You know, it's really romantic.

• 10:54Griffin McElroy?

  They looped each other's tubes in an infinity symbol that's on the wall. It's like a decorative tubing.

• 10:59Travis McElroy?

  That's cute. So now if our children come in, I can only imagine like years from now, Dot will be like, all I can remember is my parents in these alien pods. Hooked up. I don't know what data was being transmitted through their noses.

• 11:13Griffin McElroy?

  What if you've got a pipe organ in the back, right? As your headboard and you had the tubes like coming out of that, that would look like badass, dude.

• 11:20Travis McElroy?

  Fuck dude, that'd be awesome.

• 11:22Griffin McElroy?

  That would be so cool.

• 11:25Travis McElroy?

  This is an advice show and uh, we are, my advice, take care of your human body.

• 11:31Griffin McElroy?

  Especially earlier, the better.

• 11:33Travis McElroy?

  Magnesia, magnesium, pound it. You could probably track some of the lifestyle advice we were giving in 2010. And our current situation and like draw a flow chart to like the repercussions of that. Those choices now.

• 11:47Griffin McElroy?

  When my scalp is going buck wild and I am fucking fighting it tooth and nail. And then I go back to episode one of my Bim Bam where I'm like shampoo and soap is the same thing. I'm like, Jesus Christ, man. That's why it's actually cool to be able to draw, like draw, I can submit episode one of my Bim Bam as medical history to my dermatologist. It'd be like, this is why my scalp is the way it is. I used to think shampoo and soaps was the same.

• 12:13Travis McElroy?

  Time to do a question. I work at a large public library. Thank you to our librarians. I went to a public library this week and it was a beautiful one, the Campbell County Public Library. If you've ever been to that branch, gorgeous. Gorgeous. I know. It's great. You guys remember that library? Yeah, man.

• 12:31Griffin McElroy?

  Support our libraries, I guess.

• 12:33Travis McElroy?

  I work, I work at a large public library. Only one vending machine in the employee break room has Dr. Pepper. Several times now, the beverage has failed to fall after I've already paid for it. Doesn't happen every time, so I keep falling for it. A man comes in to restock the vending machine once every one to two weeks. Brothers, how do I tell this man he owes me several Dr. Peppers? Can I ask him for one while he's restocking or do I take my losses and pick a different soda? That's from parched and pepperless in Rochester. I think you can do it once. But if every time this person comes in to restock, you're like, happened again. Yeah. It's, it's gonna seem like a scam, even if it's true.

• 13:16Travis McElroy?

  You can't do several at once, right? Because I think the onus is on you. If it happens once, I think that's life, right? And you can be upset about that, but if you continue to pump bucks into this Dr. Pepper machine and you know that you're just addicted to gambling at that point, you know it's not gonna hit sometimes.

• 13:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:38Travis McElroy?

  Now they did say in additional details that it was high up so they couldn't get another drink to knock it down. But you could get a second Dr. Pepper to knock that first Dr. Pepper down the chute. Then you have two Dr. Peppers.

• 13:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:52Travis McElroy?

  One's not gonna go to waste.

• 13:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:55Travis McElroy?

  That's true. Yeah. Well, but do you think that the next person gets one, it's like a dub?

• 14:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:04Travis McElroy?

  It's like double docks?

• 14:05Griffin McElroy?

  You gotta wait. You gotta wait for the next person to come and get Dr. Pepper. And when they get a dub, you're like, one of those is mine.

• 14:12Travis McElroy?

  That's mine. Those double docks is mine. You got double docks for a buck.

• 14:15Griffin McElroy?

  That sucks. That sucks.

• 14:17Travis McElroy?

  That sucks. Every time one gets stuck, you're gonna wanna take a picture of it with like today's newspaper next to it.

• 14:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:25Travis McElroy?

  And then you can show that to the vending machine person and be like, here's proof that they were held hostage from me. Please return my sons. That's so embar- the one thing that it's such, that's such an easy business to be in. The honestly, the vending machine business.

• 14:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:42Travis McElroy?

  Like podcasting is easier, granted, but like the vending machine thing, all you gotta do is make sure that big boy pays out every time. Like, and if you're like, hey, the big boy didn't pay out this time.

• 14:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:54Travis McElroy?

  As a vending machine operator, that shouldn't just be a hassle of the job. It should be job one. You failed in the one thing, you know what I mean?

• 15:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I mean, the only other maintenance request I personally have is just no products in there that they don't make anymore. I don't care if things are expired or past their prime. I get that. But like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna roll up to a vending machine and one of the options is fruitopia. Cause then I know that everything else in that vending machine is probably pretty suspect.

• 15:22Travis McElroy?

  Sometimes an operator, this happens with new operators a lot. You'll read about it in the trades where they will want to position the machine at what they think of as more of an extreme angle.

• 15:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude.

• 15:34Travis McElroy?

  So it's more of like a lean.

• 15:35Griffin McElroy?

  Wedged.

• 15:36Travis McElroy?

  And that is creates an incredibly dangerous situation. So that is actually the biggest problem as a vending machine owner. Number one is don't let them fall off.

• 15:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:45Travis McElroy?

  That's like, don't put it at like a funny. Any angle or something like extreme angle.

• 15:50Griffin McElroy?

  You guys know how especially during Shark Week, people like to quote the statistic that fewer people are killed by sharks each year than are killed by when vending machines fall on them? And do you think that the vending machine owners and operators of America are like, what the fuck, man? Why are we out here catching strays, dude?

• 16:08Travis McElroy?

  We've never like, we've never thrown shit at sharks.

• 16:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:12Travis McElroy?

  Why are you, why are you out here?

• 16:15Griffin McElroy?

  You know what else causes more death than vending machines? Like, heart disease, like a bunch of shit. So why are we catching strays out here, dude?

• 16:23Travis McElroy?

  We're not hearts.

• 16:24Griffin McElroy?

  We're just trying to fling Andy Cap's hot fries at anyone with a buck. And I don't understand, they don't make those anymore.

• 16:30Travis McElroy?

  Shit.

• 16:31Griffin McElroy?

  They, they, yeah. Do they still make Andy Cap's hot fries?

• 16:34Travis McElroy?

  I'm certain.

• 16:35Griffin McElroy?

  I think they just don't make Andy Cap anymore. I love that there's, I love Andy Cap's out here and he's making snacks and I love snacks. Fries is such a wild thing to call that treat. Those are not even close, my guy. Not even.

• 16:49Travis McElroy?

  Not even close. Well, that's just another thing for him and his wife to argue about.

• 16:54Griffin McElroy?

  Why was he the one that they were like, we need a mascot for our hot crunchy chips? Our hot crunchy Cuboid Chips? They were like, what about famous spouse arguer Andy Cap?

• 17:07Travis McElroy?

  They're crunchier than you want it to be. They're hotter than you want it to be. They're the kind of snack you eat when you just want to feel something and that's Andy Cap's energy, right? They were already using the Lockhorns for pretzel bites. So they were like, we need somebody else. Who else hates their wife?

• 17:22Griffin McElroy?

  These are Midwestern Takis and they're, we gotta get Andy.

• 17:28Travis McElroy?

  Get Andy.

• 17:29Griffin McElroy?

  We gotta get Andy for these.

• 17:31Travis McElroy?

  I like the ones where like, you think about the Flint, you ever think about the Flintstones like that? Like contextually, there's not a, you know, there's not a cartoon. People aren't watching, the kids aren't watching that, but they do make vitamins and cereal. What a wild character.

• 17:44Griffin McElroy?

  Just so wild, man.

• 17:45Travis McElroy?

  When I got there, one of the things that I knew about growing up were this dinosaur family that sold you vitamins and cereal.

• 17:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:52Travis McElroy?

  Whoa, why?

• 17:54Griffin McElroy?

  I do think they went with the Pebbles connection there. I do think everyone else kind of just kind of. Slid into the slid into the role.

• 18:02Travis McElroy?

  But there's not, I'm trying to think of like, there's not like, oh, there used to be a Trix Rabbit cartoon. That was famous, like BB and Dot, we were eating some cocoa pebbles and they were like, who are those people? And I was like, great question, and I don't know how to explain this in a way that won't make you question my understanding of human history.

• 18:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you'll, you'll, you're not gonna get it right.

• 18:26Travis McElroy?

  Have another question.

• 18:27Griffin McElroy?

  Please.

• 18:28Travis McElroy?

  This is, I, we're, we're helping. I feel like we're really actually on a roll.

• 18:31Griffin McElroy?

  We've done one.

• 18:32Travis McElroy?

  For helping.

• 18:32Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I'm, I'm. We've done one. Oh, I guess the magnesium thing. Okay.

• 18:37Travis McElroy?

  I'm chaperoning a high school trip to DC in March. What are some ways I can alleviate any potential boredom in my students while touring the city? I would like to have small games or side quests ready if they start to get disinterested during a museum tour. For context, we are going to some very cool places like air and space, natural history, and some less interesting. I have no control over the itinerary. That's from Flummix in Florida.

• 19:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. What's great about the Washington Monument is that it's really tall. And you can see it from a lot of parts of the city, depending on where you are. So that could be a good, like, there it is again. Look over there, peeking, peeking over that, that building. That's still the Washington Monument. Sometimes they put big, crazy, incredibly unbelievably gaudy laser displays up on it for its 200, for the country's 250th birthday. But there it is, right there, again, still there. I know, we're in Arlington. You can still see that tall motherfucker. He's so big.

• 19:41Travis McElroy?

  Do you think when you're like a high school teacher or a high school chaperone and stuff like that? Do you think you have to actively try to like, observe and figure out like the storylines that are playing out between the students?

• 19:55Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think that's part of it. In fact, I think they would probably prefer you don't do that.

• 19:59Travis McElroy?

  This is what I'm saying. Do you have to actively do it? Or do you think it's unavoidable that you're like, I wish I didn't know?

• 20:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:05Travis McElroy?

  That these people were like, they both liked them and they actually liked them. Have some understanding of that, though, is it, that's just disinterest.

• 20:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:16Travis McElroy?

  Right? You, you have to have some understanding of the nuance to be able to lead.

• 20:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I think.

• 20:21Travis McElroy?

  If you don't understand the politics of the group.

• 20:24Griffin McElroy?

  Do you guys ever volunteer to like chaperone field, field trips? Henry's on a field trip today. And like, they're always kind of looking for chaperones, but I never think I would do a good enough job of it. That I, that I actually do a volunteer.

• 20:38Travis McElroy?

  I think I would do a great job at that. My problem is that there would be other parents there and they had an event or something where they all learned each other's names. Yeah, I didn't go to.

• 20:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they went to the pancake, they went to the pancake luncheon. That you got nine fucking emails about. They did meet up at the pancake luncheon.

• 20:56Travis McElroy?

  Hey guys, it's gotten bad, man. My kids have been in school for a little while. These parents know what each other does for work and stuff.

• 21:04Travis McElroy?

  I'm, I'm falling way behind.

• 21:08Travis McElroy?

  Some of my dudes play like golf together or flag football or some shit.

• 21:14Griffin McElroy?

  Sometimes I'll roll up on the playground and I'll see like two different parents from two different families like hug when they see each other.

• 21:22Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 21:23Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 21:24Travis McElroy?

  What? Casually start a conversation. No choices were made. No effort happens. Dude, crazy. Talking to each other and I'm like, how?

• 21:33Griffin McElroy?

  Give each other, give each other a, hey, from across the playground? Holy shit.

• 21:38Travis McElroy?

  Say each other's name with confidence. Like, Mark.

• 21:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. You got that ice cold.

• 21:45Travis McElroy?

  They'll ask about other friends who aren't there.

• 21:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:49Travis McElroy?

  You guys have, outside of you two having to talk to each other's parents, know a third party?

• 21:55Griffin McElroy?

  That's wild, man. That's wild.

• 21:58Travis McElroy?

  Do you ever see, do you ever see two people? Oh my God. I saw, I, I was party to this last weekend. Do you ever hear two people that don't know each other and have just met, trying to figure out the connections that they have? Like, did you know this person? Or did you go to this time at this school? Oh my God. Throw me through a plate glass window, mom. I'm out.

• 22:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Travis McElroy?

  No, thank you.

• 22:21Griffin McElroy?

  So, man.

• 22:24Griffin McElroy?

  DC.

• 22:25Travis McElroy?

  DC Griffin, tell them the real DC.

• 22:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, what do you look for?

• 22:28Travis McElroy?

  Take them behind the curtain.

• 22:30Griffin McElroy?

  If they hadn't said, I have no control over the itinerary, I'd love to provide. Planet Word is my favorite museum.

• 22:35Travis McElroy?

  And first of all, says who?

• 22:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:37Travis McElroy?

  You got two legs and a voice. You know?

• 22:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 22:41Travis McElroy?

  Who says you got no control over the itinerary? If you're like this way, kids?

• 22:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:44Travis McElroy?

  I think that.

• 22:45Griffin McElroy?

  If they're all holding on to one of those little like long ropes.

• 22:48Travis McElroy?

  That they make high schoolers do.

• 22:50Griffin McElroy?

  Take them to Planet Word. It's about the history and mechanisms of language. It's great, interactive.

• 22:55Travis McElroy?

  That's a great museum.

• 22:56Griffin McElroy?

  It's my favorite museum in the city. Air and Space rips, they're always updating that shit. You can go and touch, guys, I smelled the moon.

• 23:02Travis McElroy?

  They actually.

• 23:03Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 23:03Travis McElroy?

  Smelled the moon.

• 23:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I went to the Air and Space Museum has like a little part thing with, and it's covered by a dome and it's got a little bit of moon rock in there and you can, I mean, I think they want you to touch it, but I put my face way down in there and I smelled it and my kids yelled at me. My kid said, you're not allowed to do that.

• 23:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that, I know, that'll happen.

• 23:19Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't get much, I didn't get much of an aroma.

• 23:21Travis McElroy?

  I am also proud to announce that the Air and Space Museum has finally started stalking my astronaut detective fiction novel, Air and Space. Boy astronaut.

• 23:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:32Travis McElroy?

  That is, that is an exciting development for me. Air and Space is.

• 23:36Griffin McElroy?

  How many volumes deep are you is the, is the Air and Space?

• 23:39Travis McElroy?

  I have written six and published a novella of the first half of one. So I'm, it's an outline.

• 23:46Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 23:46Travis McElroy?

  There's more of an outline right now. For Air and Space.

• 23:50Griffin McElroy?

  Pokemon Go.

• 23:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's a good one.

• 23:52Griffin McElroy?

  Not bad. In most cities, in most cities, there's a great poke stop density in DC where there's like monuments and shit on every corner, you're getting pokeballs and potions and revives and raid tickets and shit left and right. It's crazy.

• 24:06Travis McElroy?

  I'm also willing to bet that the like per square mileage hauntings of DC is pretty high.

• 24:13Griffin McElroy?

  Sure, sure.

• 24:14Travis McElroy?

  So you could learn about the haunted history of places and try to catch a ghost.

• 24:17Griffin McElroy?

  We took a ghost tour in DC, Trev.

• 24:19Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 24:20Griffin McElroy?

  We took a ghost tour in DC.

• 24:22Travis McElroy?

  We took a ghost tour. Yeah, but I was checked out for a lot of it.

• 24:25Griffin McElroy?

  No, no. Did we do one in DC?

• 24:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. You weren't there because you had to be with your kids or whatever. Oh, dorkus.

• 24:34Griffin McElroy?

  They're scared of ghosts. They're scared of ghosts. Oh, what's the, the, the, the mansion, the manor on O Street? Hmm, that's a good museum.

• 24:43Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a.

• 24:43Griffin McElroy?

  Kids maybe aren't going to understand a lot of the stuff going on in there. Maybe they're not like huge fans of, uh, I don't know. One room is old anime stuff and then one room is like, this is the Jimi Hendrix room. Crazy.

• 24:56Travis McElroy?

  Are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you?

• 24:59Griffin McElroy?

  It's awesome. One joke at a time, please. I'm just one man. I can't laugh at two jokes at the same time.

• 25:06Travis McElroy?

  I just had a follow up question. So if Travis has a joke, that would add to the overall joke count for the episode. And I'd love to get our JPM up. Yeah. Are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you? Because I'm sure it's frowned upon, but I doubt there's something in the handbook, uh, that says you can't bring a metal detector with you.

• 25:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. What are you expecting to find? I guess if you wander the National Mall, there's probably, I mean.

• 25:28Travis McElroy?

  A lot of history.

• 25:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Some like.

• 25:30Travis McElroy?

  You could.

• 25:31Griffin McElroy?

  Peace sign medallions.

• 25:33Travis McElroy?

  You think you could start talking now about how you've heard many works of art in museums are fakes? And then once you're there, just start haphazardly like, that one.

• 25:44Griffin McElroy?

  That one.

• 25:45Travis McElroy?

  Look right here.

• 25:46Griffin McElroy?

  Mm hmm.

• 25:47Travis McElroy?

  Right here. This is a crayon part. They did this with crayons.

• 25:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, if you, if you look here in the National Portrait Gallery, uh, Mr. Bean did come through and he destroyed the Obama portrait by a series of silly accidents. And he did paint it back up with a poster and some lacquer. You can see the signs of Mr. Bean's work here, here and here.

• 26:10Travis McElroy?

  Point at every piece of art you see and attribute its existence to Dolly Madison saving it. And just see how many of those you can get away with, like, and we wouldn't have that if it weren't for Dolly Madison.

• 26:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:22Travis McElroy?

  Thanks, Dolly Madison. You could have a map of the world and have your students mark the different places that the works of art they've seen are from.

• 26:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:32Travis McElroy?

  So they could kind of see all the diverse locations that, hold on one second. Jokes. Get back, massages over.

• 26:40Griffin McElroy?

  Jesus Christ, jokes, you're running up the fucking massage bill. It's supposed to be five minutes, dude. What the fuck?

• 26:46Travis McElroy?

  Dude, put your pants on. Jokes? You could try to plan a hypothetical national treasure everywhere you go.

• 26:55Griffin McElroy?

  Now, I was about to go to National Treasure.

• 26:57Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:58Griffin McElroy?

  And you could, and you could hire someone who kinda looks like Nicolas Cage and have him sort of sneak around the corner at different parts of the city where you're not stopping. So you have that little inner stitch, like everyone keep an eye out for whatever that guy's name is. I think his name is Nicholas Treasure in the movie.

• 27:14Travis McElroy?

  His name, oh no, hold on.

• 27:16Griffin McElroy?

  Do it.

• 27:16Travis McElroy?

  Benjamin, Benjamin Franklin something.

• 27:21Travis McElroy?

  Benjamin Franklin Gallagher? Something like that. You're also gonna need to hire a Sean Bean look-alike to be the evil guy. Benjamin Franklin.

• 27:31Griffin McElroy?

  Gates. Benjamin Gates.

• 27:34Travis McElroy?

  Ben Gates.

• 27:35Griffin McElroy?

  Ben Gates.

• 27:37Travis McElroy?

  Cool name.

• 27:39Griffin McElroy?

  That was like a million great ass suggestion, like these fucking.

• 27:42Travis McElroy?

  That's like, we're helping so many people, it's kinda weird. Yeah, that's not just applicable to this, you can use it in any circumstance.

• 27:49Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, uh, listen, we're on fire. Let's take this energy and direct it towards capitalism, where it belongs.

• 27:56Travis McElroy?

  To the money zone!

• 28:07Travis McElroy?

  Have you been doodling what would Pokemon look like as people for years now? And you've gotten really good at it and you wanna sell your art online? Have I got an idea for you? Squarespace.

• 28:19Griffin McElroy?

  Do you do this?

• 28:20Travis McElroy?

  Do I?

• 28:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:22Travis McElroy?

  No, I have no artistic ability outside of architectural drawings. I've done what would Pokemon look like as buildings and it doesn't, it just doesn't convey the same kind of power or sexuality.

• 28:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Some Pokemons is buildings now.

• 28:37Travis McElroy?

  What? Is that true?

• 28:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they're making Pokemons out of everything. What's that?

• 28:41Travis McElroy?

  People live in inside the Pokemon?

• 28:43Griffin McElroy?

  People don't live in them. They just turn into big buildings. They turn into big buildings.

• 28:46Travis McElroy?

  But they don't live in them. That seems like such a waste.

• 28:48Griffin McElroy?

  Squarespace is the best way to make a website and put it online and have people think you're a professional and then also, you know, have those people pay you for your goods and services that you offer on this incredible looking website. We've been obviously advertising with Squarespace for many years now. It's probably the longest and healthiest relationship any of us have ever had. But Squarespace also is something we've used.

• 29:15Travis McElroy?

  Definitely the most supportive.

• 29:17Griffin McElroy?

  The Squarespace we've used many times to build websites for ourselves, our brands, our jokes. So many places we've had to use Squarespace's services. And I say had to, I mean get to, because it's fun. It's simple drag and drop sort of functionality, beautiful world-class design templates.

• 29:41Griffin McElroy?

  Any kind of tools for payment or like appointment scheduling or whatever you need your site to do. Dang Squarespace is gonna make it look good.

• 29:48Travis McElroy?

  Have you guys ever noticed? Dad has never sponsored an episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me.

• 29:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:54Travis McElroy?

  Squarespace has many, many, many, many companies.

• 29:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I have noticed that. Dad, and you know what? Dad takes money from us.

• 30:01Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:02Griffin McElroy?

  Squarespace gives us money to talk about their product. And Dad only takes money.

• 30:08Travis McElroy?

  Dad gave us money earlier, like before. Yeah, but that was when I didn't need it. I was a child. I didn't need money when I was a child. What was I buying? They should have held on to that money and gave it to you later when you needed it. They were wasting it on you as a kid.

• 30:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I would have loved the 25 cumulative dollars Clint McElroy ever gave me now.

• 30:27Travis McElroy?

  Drag his ass.

• 30:29Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, Dad. Three bucks.

• 30:32Travis McElroy?

  In this economy?

• 30:33Griffin McElroy?

  Three bucks, huh? Merry Christmas to me. Anyway, head to Squarespace.com/mybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  No, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?

• 31:17Speaker 04

  Right, well, if you were looking for a podcast.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.

• 31:24Speaker 04

  Simply go to MaximumFun.org.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!

• 31:33Speaker 05

  Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast, taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo, to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint: she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited, no matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.

• 32:23Travis McElroy?

  I want a Munch Squad!

• 32:28Travis McElroy?

  I want two Munch Squad!

• 32:34Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad, this podcast with them, podcast profiling the latest and greatest brand eating, Arby's, and racing. Arby's is speed.

• 32:43Griffin McElroy?

  Arby makes me, Arby, when I eat Arby, it makes me go fast.

• 32:47Travis McElroy?

  Arby goes fast?

• 32:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 32:49Travis McElroy?

  Arby's kicks off the meat in three box pit stops, too. And this is a quote, "Fuel the masses."

• 32:56Griffin McElroy?

  Cool, dude.

• 32:57Travis McElroy?

  That feels like a lot of words, and by the end of it, I don't know any- More information than I knew at the beginning.

• 33:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 33:05Travis McElroy?

  Since launching the 799 meat and three box, that's what it's called.

• 33:08Griffin McElroy?

  Meat in three.

• 33:10Travis McElroy?

  Meat and three is the three delicious.

• 33:14Griffin McElroy?

  Ah, you can cross this bridge when you eat my meat and three.

• 33:23Travis McElroy?

  There's, uh, they, yeah, they announced it with master realistic. I have to, this is ghoulish. I, you know, I don't want to get down.

• 33:32Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to get all these frigging side tangents every time we do these things, guys, but people are just like out here doing stuff.

• 33:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Travis McElroy?

  These are the, these are the real estate people that announced the meat and three box.

• 33:42Griffin McElroy?

  They're not.

• 33:42Travis McElroy?

  Are we all doing okay?

• 33:44Griffin McElroy?

  Those aren't real people.

• 33:45Travis McElroy?

  I don't know. Yeah, they're real people that it does. Anyway, anywho. So the mean three boxes, three is a meat and three things. And they're trying to find a way, this is again in the press release, Arby's has been hard at work to find a way to bring the meats to more fans. We used to have decorum.

• 34:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 34:02Travis McElroy?

  You know?

• 34:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 34:04Travis McElroy?

  We're gonna bring you the meats, you dirty dogs. The solution? Eight Arby's sponsored NASCAR O'Reilly Auto Parts Series races. Three race car drivers and multiple meat and three box pit stops along the way.

• 34:19Griffin McElroy?

  It must be so embarrassing for a brand to not be able to sponsor a whole car. Don't you think that must be embarrassing when Arby's is like, check out our Arby's car and, um, fucking Sunoco's on there too. And, uh, Tide, uh, dish, dishwashing pods and, um, Duracell batteries.

• 34:37Travis McElroy?

  But it's mostly us, so you can.

• 34:38Griffin McElroy?

  But it's mostly, yeah, we're on the hood.

• 34:40Travis McElroy?

  Beef racer if you want.

• 34:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Not the beef and battery racer, cause that Duracell calls it the battery racer, but it's really the beef racer.

• 34:48Travis McElroy?

  It's the beef racer. Things are tough right now. Lots of people going vegan. We can't afford a whole NASCAR car. We want to bring you the meats, but we have so many meats.

• 34:56Griffin McElroy?

  You have to make space for them.

• 34:58Travis McElroy?

  Damn vegans keep making us stop. You don't have to eat them, but we just hold them.

• 35:06Griffin McElroy?

  Just buy a couple.

• 35:07Travis McElroy?

  Just smell our meat. You might, then you might like it. What if you're vegan plus Arby's?

• 35:14Griffin McElroy?

  Huh?

• 35:15Travis McElroy?

  You could use it for other stuff. I keep telling. Give it to your dog. Feed it to your turtle. Maybe put it in like a safety deposit box and like leave it for a great grandchild or something. It's like a family beef loom. And the future beef is money.

• 35:37Travis McElroy?

  We've been in the future. Please. We're not going to spoil anything, but you're going to want this meat. Now, this is what I, this is where I want to get to though. This is, and this whole thing, this is like, it's not that surprising that Arby's would do up some like Arby's branded races. Like it's a tour of Arby's branded races powered by horsey sauce. Cool. You think there's a lot of prestige for winning one of these races? Huge, huge. Are you kidding me? I'll tell you what is bad is if he may hurt. That's not how you want. Yeah, how'd he go out? Yeah, he was at the top of his game and then he was doing the beef races and. Jeff Gordon? Yeah, he. Yeah. I don't know why he was still, he's, his license has been revoked.

• 36:21Travis McElroy?

  I don't know how they got him out there. And listen, he was foaming at the mouth, just screaming about horsey sauce and he did die. There's no better way to put it. He beefed it. He did. He beefed it real hard and that's how he'll always be remembered. That's what all the headlines said. They did work in some sort of beef pun, end quotes. His family was.

• 36:41Travis McElroy?

  Well done. Well done. That's because the car was on fire. Yeah, and that's another beef thing. So apologies to the Gordon estate. I guess the thing that is hard for me, um, and I, this is the thing that I want to share with you guys. And it's hard that I missed it, that this event occurred that I'm about to describe to you and that we weren't cordially invited to it. And the fact that it happened, that this was real and it happened. On the eve of NASCAR's biggest race, Arby's showed up with max horsey power in Daytona. Building on the success of last summer's Jamoka Shake Tour, the brand hosted a surprise Jimmy Eat World pop-up concert

• 37:25Travis McElroy?

  inside a local Arby's restaurant at Ridgewood Avenue in Daytona Beach. The free concert transformed Arby's into a rock and roll dance floor. Complete with branded airbrushed hats. Jimmy Eat World Rock and Roll. Dance floor? Sorry, Griffin, you just brushed over airbrushed hat, custom airbrushed hats? Yeah, they had custom airbrushed hats and I actually have, if you guys have a second, I have some like live video. Yeah, Jimmy eat beef? Jimmy eat beef, let me see if I can.

• 38:22Travis McElroy?

  So. Who says that rock is dead? It's so good. First of all, huge jealousy and there is, I, if you think that we are in any way judging or criticizing a Jimmy Eat World for doing this, you do not know our brand. I'm telling you, I'm so furious that this happened and we did not get to participate. I would have done it for half the price. I just, I wanna get. Whatever Jimmy did. Well, I wanna be, work on it with Jimmy Eat World. Yeah, I don't wanna. My brother, my brother and me doing exclusive concert in an Arby's is just a regular Wednesday afternoon in Huntington. I'm like, that's not a big. I'm just saying, we would have opened. There's just. Open for Jimmy Eat World for very reasonable fee.

• 39:03Griffin McElroy?

  Jimmy's up there. I wasn't familiar with that other song, but you know Jimmy's gonna play sweetness or something at some point. And there were a lot of people in that video, Justin, you showed me of that private Arby's Jimmy Eat World concert.

• 39:16Travis McElroy?

  Oh yeah, all those people just happened to be at Arby's.

• 39:18Griffin McElroy?

  They were fucking airbrushing hats and shirts and they were eating the food and they were talking pretty loud with their friends. And meanwhile, great American rock classic group Jimmy Eat World is on stage to an audience of people who really are there for the beef and the hats and the, and the art activity. And the babes, it looks like some of them were.

• 39:41Travis McElroy?

  I would have been there for the music.

• 39:43Griffin McElroy?

  I definitely would have, but that's why I'm saying like, if you're at a Jimmy Eat World concert, even if it's at an Arby's, take a minute to, it's like when you're sitting down at a restaurant and then like a pianist comes up on stage and starts playing for everyone and you gotta give them a little like. You gotta give them a little bit of attention, I think.

• 39:58Travis McElroy?

  Just take some time, little girl, you're in the middle of a concert at Arby's.

• 40:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:06Travis McElroy?

  The other version I was gonna do is, you just take some time, little girl, and eat the middle of the sandwich. It's full of.

• 40:13Griffin McElroy?

  Eat the middle of the sandwich. Now, that was an old Arby's campaign where they were like, the middle's where the beef is. Only eat the middles. And it was like, that's wild.

• 40:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And for some reason, it was like, straight through the middle. Don't eat to the middle. Kind of dive at it.

• 40:27Griffin McElroy?

  Bore a hole into the middle.

• 40:29Travis McElroy?

  A sandwich.

• 40:33Travis McElroy?

  That I would like to read some comments from the Instagram post. Take. Takishi Doodles says, the ultimate way to start our 2026 best party I've airbrushed at. Thank you so much for inviting us to paint your merch, Arby's.

• 40:45Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 40:45Travis McElroy?

  Thanks. God bless you.

• 40:46Griffin McElroy?

  God, I wish I lived a life where not only did I go to an airbrushed party, but I had gone to so many airbrushed parties that that was a metric. This is the best one. I just want to be in a place where I can thank Arby's and mean it.

• 41:00Travis McElroy?

  Someone said, that's cool. John Lithgow partying like a rock star. That is not a kind of thing to say. And I wish you hadn't said it. I don't think Mr. Lithgow is in the, the video, and I'm sure he would love to get out there, but I did not.

• 41:11Griffin McElroy?

  Wild. Why did they bring, why did they put their name?

• 41:13Travis McElroy?

  Why is John Lithgow here catching?

• 41:15Griffin McElroy?

  Why is he here?

• 41:17Travis McElroy?

  That, that is the, the party that's, that you've been missing. Uh, just, just so you know. Inspire team members, that's from the, the people at Arby's HQ, took a behind the scenes look at Arby's number one Chevrolet. They took a tour of the JR M race team hauler and even had a chance to score tickets to Saturday's race. And then I want to show you guys a picture and they've got this on, they've got this on the, the thing where you can watch. I don't know. It's one of those carousels. Don't you hate that?

• 41:46Griffin McElroy?

  I fucking hate that shit, man.

• 41:48Travis McElroy?

  Hold on, wait.

• 41:49Griffin McElroy?

  Don't make your images some sort of special CSS element that I can't then share with my brothers easily to make them laugh.

• 41:57Travis McElroy?

  Okay, good. I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna share. I'll just like, put this image. They, they got people in the Arby's chef, chef coats. And the fact that these image, that these things exist is really what I'm jealous of. Can you see these? Look at that. Look at that. I know you're not got, you guys are excited enough. It's a black chef's coat with a huge red Arby's logo on it. I would do anything. Are you kidding me? It's pretty. These people, they're the Arby chefs. They're the ones who are like, eh, maybe two me slice of roast beef on that one. Yeah. You know, like. This cheese sauce is not thick enough.

• 42:38Travis McElroy?

  We could probably layer a different kind of meat that we've never even fucked with in here. If we just try it. Do you guys think you could go and score me some of that thick Burger King mayonnaise that we can then put on the, on the, the new one? Uh, I did want to show you guys a picture of the meat in the three box. Um. I like how in this picture, and I know the people at home can't see it, so let me describe it to you. The roast beef sandwich towers above the other three. Yeah. Um, just really lording it over the peons. It looks like they're worshiping at the feet. Yeah. Sandwich, right? Yeah. While the power behind the throne of the giant Coca-Cola goes, yes, my lord. Yes.

• 43:18Griffin McElroy?

  I've heard of.

• 43:19Travis McElroy?

  My lord.

• 43:20Griffin McElroy?

  I've heard of.

• 43:20Travis McElroy?

  Listen to them. Cry your name, my, my lord, they cry for you. Oh, you, they say, oh, you spill your you on us. Drip, drip upon us, my lord.

• 43:32Griffin McElroy?

  I've heard meat and three used in a sort of southern like barbecue sense, but usually when I hear it that way, they are implying that there will be some sort of vegetable or, uh, or bread sort of involved in there with the three. I don't think it means cur- seasoned up curly fries, full blown mozzarella sticks, and what looks like a fried apple egg roll, perhaps?

• 43:58Travis McElroy?

  Justin, I'm just really glad that you showed us this picture. Because every time you say meat and three, I assume it has something to do with someone's dick and three balls. Yeah. So I'm glad that you. Well, it doesn't. And it doesn't. And I guess Arby's, please. I mean, as always, get at us like, I don't know. You know. Jimmy eats brothers. It's the perfect crossover. Brothers eats beef. Brothers eats beef. Uh, my fiance and I are getting married in a walking labyrinth. We realize people may assume it's movie themed because we've been saying we're having a labyrinth wedding. Yes. Should we explicitly stay on invitations? It has nothing to do with the film or just see what people think a labyrinth wedding is? I haven't even seen the movie.

• 44:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm sorry. You are actually having, you're having a labyrinth themed wedding. You need to be okay with the fact that it's, you can't just have it be in a, it's a labyrinth themed wedding. You need some stuff in there from the film. You gotta have the stuff from the film in there, man.

• 45:01Travis McElroy?

  That's like saying, yeah, we're having a wedding in a cube, but it's not a cube shaped.

• 45:06Griffin McElroy?

  It's not based on cube. Yeah. We're doing it at the new Super Nintendo World Amusement Park. It is not a Nintendo based event, this wedding. It's, but do not dress up as Mario. He will be there, but it's not, it has nothing to do with it.

• 45:22Travis McElroy?

  It just worked out that the Fortress of Solitude had the dates available that we're looking for.

• 45:27Griffin McElroy?

  We are not doing Superman shit. No. I don't, I think he's boring. It's a beautiful fortress.

• 45:36Travis McElroy?

  Bit of a trek. It is a destination wedding. We realize that's gonna be a problem for some folks. Yeah, it's in the Arctic. Do you think?

• 45:44Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know what this is. And so that can sometimes not a super funny thing when someone's trying to guess what a real thing is. But I'm guessing that they're on opposite ends of it?

• 45:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:56Griffin McElroy?

  And they're trying to find each other when they do their marriage? Yeah, and they only have 10 minutes. There's also, you also don't want to run into one of the scarecrows. Cause if they get you, they tear up your marriage license. Right there.

• 46:11Travis McElroy?

  We've hidden it inside the shrine of the silver monkey.

• 46:14Griffin McElroy?

  Well, the shrine of the silver monkey contains the rings, Justin. You can send them your, your maid of honor and your best man. Once, but if they get caught by one of the scarecrows, they're gonna kill them. David Bowie will not be there. Goblin King will not be there. Little nasty worm will not be there. Handhold. No, not any of that shit. No orbs.

• 46:34Travis McElroy?

  Will be there for a price. Why haven't you seen labyrinth? It's great. I, I gave my kids a stink eye when I realized they hadn't seen labyrinth in. They're kids and I'm their dad and I still was like, really? You guys haven't seen Labyrinth? I wish I could watch it again for the first time.

• 46:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:52Travis McElroy?

  I just saw someone put out a labyrinth themed set of sneakers and I almost bought it for hundreds of dollars. And I wouldn't even wear the ding dang things.

• 47:01Griffin McElroy?

  How funny would it be if you told everyone it's not the movie, never even seen the movie? And then you get to the vows and then you're like, you remind me of the babe. And then you reveal like, just kidding. And then you both pull out awards.

• 47:14Travis McElroy?

  Oh, my God. If you walk out to Magic Dance, I know you've never heard it and you shouldn't. Cause when you realize the Omega Bop that you have just dropped on your wedding and the first time you're hearing it is when you're married. What? And then double twist, the officiant holds up their hands and they've got eyeballs in the palms of their hands. And they hold it up to their face and it's a Pan's Labyrinth themed wedding.

• 47:38Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa, I love that.

• 47:39Travis McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 47:40Griffin McElroy?

  I don't wanna, I don't wanna be a jerk, but if you've never seen the movie, you're having a maze wedding.

• 47:44Travis McElroy?

  Like you do not like labyrinth. You do not like labyrinth enough to call it a labyrinth wedding. If you haven't even seen the movie about them, you know? You don't like labyrinth. It's a maze wedding.

• 47:54Griffin McElroy?

  It's a maze wedding and that's like some, that's like some Slylock Fox, like Sunday.

• 48:00Travis McElroy?

  It's a lot easier, isn't it?

• 48:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:03Travis McElroy?

  I want a wedding that's like on a kids, kids restaurant activity mat. You know what I mean?

• 48:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:08Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. You're missing so many opportunities to, cause I think they're so, having a labyrinth themed wedding that's actually labyrinth themed. Of like having a ring bearer come in and it's like a little fox puppet on the back of a big shaggy dog.

• 48:23Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 48:24Travis McElroy?

  That can like bring in the ring. Fucking incredible.

• 48:27Griffin McElroy?

  But let someone who loves the movie plan it and do all this and you still don't see the movie. So when you show up, it's like, what is happening?

• 48:35Travis McElroy?

  And then at the reception, you screen the movie and go, oh, okay.

• 48:40Griffin McElroy?

  When the, when the audience stands up and they all talk with their hands in unison, you're gonna flip your shit.

• 48:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:46Griffin McElroy?

  Also, guys, why is this the second time it's a mini dance?

• 48:50Travis McElroy?

  I don't know. I was talking about Thick Sauce earlier. It feels like we're just doing a sort of sequel to the last episode. I mean, we're the same people, just a week older, I guess.

• 49:00Griffin McElroy?

  Actually, two days older.

• 49:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:02Griffin McElroy?

  Days older. We recorded last Monday. It is currently Wednesday, about 40 hours as the crow flies.

• 49:09Travis McElroy?

  Okay, explains why my last thought before we started recording was, I can't believe I have to fucking do this.

• 49:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, we just did this.

• 49:16Travis McElroy?

  Talk to, talk to these two.

• 49:20Travis McElroy?

  Oh, man. It's a good flick, though, just.

• 49:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:24Griffin McElroy?

  I mean.

• 49:26Travis McElroy?

  Thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you had fun. We hope you enjoyed yourself and you remind me of the babe.

• 49:35Griffin McElroy?

  Mm hmm.

• 49:36Travis McElroy?

  What babe?

• 49:36Griffin McElroy?

  The babe that wrote a choose your own adventure book. His name is Griffin McGray. He's a wee babby. I got it here now. It's called The Stowaway and it costs $10. Have you read it?

• 49:47Travis McElroy?

  Hey, I want to say, Griffin, hey, Griffin, I want to start a countdown clock as a promotional tool.

• 49:53Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 49:53Travis McElroy?

  For your book, okay? Has your son read your book yet?

• 49:57Griffin McElroy?

  He has not. He.

• 49:59Travis McElroy?

  Okay, it's so far one day. How many days have you had it?

• 50:02Griffin McElroy?

  How many days have I had it? About three weeks, my man. He is dedicated.

• 50:06Travis McElroy?

  You're now on day 21 of Griffin's.

• 50:08Griffin McElroy?

  My youngest son read it with me. My nine year old is like.

• 50:11Travis McElroy?

  All right, we're now on day 21 of Griffin's oldest son not reading his book. Griffin, I do want to continue to check in periodically.

• 50:17Griffin McElroy?

  He will get, he will get, eventually he'll begin to take a curiosity to what his father does. bit.ly slash Griffin Stowaway. You can beat my oldest son before at reading the book that I wrote called The Stowaway. And it's a choose your own adventure book. It's an outer space survival tale, perfect for middle grade readers or anyone who wants to hear a great interactive adventure hosted by yours truly. It's called The Stowaway and it's $10. And the first week of book sales are so important. So bit.ly slash Griffin Stowaway. Help me out. It's $10.

• 50:48Travis McElroy?

  Over at macro merch.com, we got a lot of great merch this month, including helping is always a free action t-shirt. They're really cool. I think you're gonna like them and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Border Angels. So go check that out, macro merch.com. We stream over on the macro family YouTube. We got Clubhouse the last Tuesday of each month and on all the other Tuesdays, we're doing Super Macro Brother Gaming Streams at noon Eastern time and we got solo streams throughout the week. I just started a run of Return of the Overden on ADHD Detective. So make sure you check that out every Wednesday. I know.

• 51:26Griffin McElroy?

  I'm playing Majora's Mask randomizer every Friday. It's called Trial by Fury.

• 51:30Travis McElroy?

  God, what a game.

• 51:31Griffin McElroy?

  God, what a game, indeed.

• 51:32Travis McElroy?

  Just also a game.

• 51:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:34Travis McElroy?

  Majora's Mask is a game as well.

• 51:36Griffin McElroy?

  Have you settled on what you're doing next, J-Man?

• 51:39Travis McElroy?

  I have been thinking about playing Mist.

• 51:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:44Griffin McElroy?

  Hell, yeah, man.

• 51:46Travis McElroy?

  I don't think kids today have seen Mist.

• 51:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:49Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean?

• 51:49Griffin McElroy?

  No, it's fucking, it's a wild one. Do like the old DVD version of Mist. Do like one of those old wild ones.

• 51:58Travis McElroy?

  Old busted down thing.

• 51:59Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks to Montane, thanks for the song, My Life Is Better With You. Did I mention that my book's out tomorrow, March 10th? I don't think I said that part.

• 52:08Travis McElroy?

  Tomorrow is the crow flies.

• 52:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so go check that out and I'm gonna, I guess.

• 52:13Travis McElroy?

  Throw the book, throw the book, throw the book.

• 52:15Griffin McElroy?

  I'm not gonna throw it super, I mean, I do have a lot of copies of it.

• 52:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, throw the book.

• 52:19Griffin McElroy?

  Aw, man.

• 52:20Travis McElroy?

  Throw the book. So.

• 52:23Travis McElroy?

  Can't believe he's gonna throw the book.

• 52:25Griffin McElroy?

  Fahrenheit 451 is the temperature.

• 52:27Travis McElroy?

  So a little respect for the art. Griffin's throwing his own work. Three, two, one. That's what Griffin's, that's what Griffin's son does every time he hands him the book.

• 52:37Griffin McElroy?

  It was perfect though, like it kinda landed.

• 52:40Travis McElroy?

  If we could get a sick screenshot, it would look like the book was just kind of glued to the-

• 52:44Griffin McElroy?

  I broke my goddamn Deku Tree! Go to the doctor! I broke my goddamn Deku Tree! What a good book! It's so solid it can break a goddamn Deku Tree Lego set.

• 52:55Travis McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy.

• 52:56Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy. Damn this book!

• 52:59Travis McElroy?

  Brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad square on the lips.