The Dallas Show!

TST Live in Dallas, TX! Who can create the best 5-car garage for this city? What's the best location for a NASCAR race that ISN'T a race track? And we roast a lot of our fans' cars. What a show! Thanks to everyone who came out! Filmed Live from The Shop Club in Dallas https://theshopclubs.com/dallas/ Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/tire #rulapod DeleteMe Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to https://www.joindeleteme.com/TIRE and use promo code TIRE at checkout. New merch! Grab a shirt or hoodie and support us! https://thesmokingtireshop.com/ Use Off The Record! and ALWAYS fight your tickets! For a 10% discount on your first case go to https://www.offtherecord.com/TST Want your question answered? Want to watch the live stream, get ad-free podcasts, or exclusive podcasts? Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thesmokingtirepodcast Instagram: https://www. Instagram.com/thesmokingtire https://www. Instagram.com/therealzackklapman

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Matt Farah?

  What's up everybody, welcome to the Smoking Tire Podcast. Today's episode is brought to you as always by Off the Record. You gotta have Off the Record. It's like saying you gotta have a lawyer, but it's saying that you're gonna have a lawyer for everywhere in the country. That's what's important, right? You have the right to defend yourself if you're accused of a moving violation, a big one or a small one. And in that case, you're not gonna do as good of a job as a qualified attorney. But where do you get one? That's where Off the Record comes in. Almost everywhere in the entire United States. If you get pulled over, you can go to offtherecord.com/tst

• 0:44Matt Farah?

  and rather than pleading guilty to that moving violation, you can send it to Off the Record. They'll set you up with an attorney who will fight that ticket, get those points off your record, maybe beat the thing entirely. And that way you won't have increased insurance premiums. You won't have potentially an issue with your employment if you drive for a living, and on and on. Don't plead guilty, get Off the Record. Go to offtherecord.com/tst to get 10% off all legal services booked through Off the Record. Right? Great. Now, on today's episode, Zach and I are in Dallas, Texas,

• 1:26Matt Farah?

  live in front of an audience of about 225 people at the Shop Club. This show is super, super fun. I teach Dallas about sidewalks. Zach and I compete to have a better $1 million Dallas car collection. And boy, do we have some fun cars to roast. This is a great show. These live shows were awesome and I hope you enjoy it as much on that end as we enjoyed doing them in Dallas, Texas. It's the Smoking Tire Podcast. Has anyone considered teaching the pavers to operate power plants here? That seems like one of those things that... Because they seem pretty good at their jobs, actually.

• 2:11Matt Farah?

  It's very smooth tarmac. We rolled a Chrysler Pacifica. Any Pacifica fans? Wow, you are so enthusiastic. You... This guy loves his van. Something special happened to him in that van.

• 2:28Matt Farah?

  Oh, you rented it? That's the best kind of Chrysler Pacifica. I revealed this last night and, uh, for people at home listening to the show, sorry for the repetitive story, but our Chrysler Pacifica was delivered to us at George Bush Airport with 11 miles on it. First rental. Popping the cherry, baby. There was yellow chalk marks on the tires. Oh, it's such a beautiful thing. Espe- I mean, especially in a place where you're so likely to have, you know, black mold in your air filter and whatever. But, man, who's ever gotten, who's ever popped a cherry on a rental car here? Anybody? You have, sir? First hand up? What, what, tell me, what kind of car was it? Ram 1500.

• 3:14Matt Farah?

  A Ram 1500? Four miles? How did that even make it to the fa- from the factory to the rent? On and off the trains and shit is gonna be at least that. Wow, four miles? And, and did you celebrate your brand-new car by doing something to it you probably shouldn't? Nodding, what did you do?

• 3:37Matt Farah?

  Allegedly, of course.

• 3:42Matt Farah?

  You crashed it.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:43Matt Farah?

  Oh, shit.

• 3:46Matt Farah?

  You know what? My karma for getting rental cars is equal to my karma at calling on people. I found the guy who crashed a brand-new rental truck. You're fucking welcome, Dallas.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  How embarrassed were you to go back to the desk and go, uh, "I crashed the Ram into something"?

• 4:06Matt Farah?

  Sure. It was, if they had that new AI, they didn't notice? That's a delight. If they had them new AI scanners, you'd be fooked. So, there's a guy I know. His name is Brat Sarah.

• 4:20Matt Farah?

  Might have heard of him, I don't know. Uh, rented a Mercury Grand Marquis. You guys know about the Grand Marquis, right? It's the Crown Vic's classy cousin. And it's the P.I. cousin of the Crown Vic. And, uh, this person, what was his name, Brad? Uh, may have gotten very drunk and, um, danced a tango on the roof of the, uh, Mercury. And was very, very concerned, this friend, when returning the car, that this was going to be a very expensive problem. Until the check-in person arrived, and she was five foot one.

• 5:02Matt Farah?

  Crisis averted, boarding Miami to LAX, see ya.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Dance like no one is watching, because they're not tall enough to actually see where you're dancing.

• 5:12Matt Farah?

  Right. Uh, Zach, is your panic attack over?

• 5:15Speaker 01

  It is, we are operational.

• 5:16Matt Farah?

  Boy, is that a shitty thing to have to do in front of an audience, wow! Um, okay, um, so, we have some like, we have like bits, we have like things, um, but, yeah, let's just do some, let's just do that, yeah. I've used up all of my filler, because you took way too long, uh, doing this, and you couldn't participate in anything.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  I know, you did a very good job, though, you didn't.

• 5:39Matt Farah?

  I mean, listen, if anybody can talk at a wall for 12 minutes straight, you're welcome, people.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Shall we talk about, uh, the NASCAR?

• 5:48Matt Farah?

  Dude, so, did you guys see that, so NASCAR, do we have any NASCAR fans here? Okay, a few. I was surprised, we went to Houston, you know, Fans of a Car Podcast, in Texas. I was like, any fans of NASCAR? Crickets. They don't, they don't apparently like NASCAR in Houston, but, they're doing more street circuits now. Like, I'm actually pro this, like, I'm not that big of a fan of NASCAR, but like, that makes it interesting, right? You guys are into it. And did you see that they're doing one at Coronado Air Base? Which is like, uh, like where Top Gun happens, in, uh, Fighter Town, USA?

• 6:23Speaker 01

  This is crazy.

• 6:24Matt Farah?

  It's pretty slick, yeah, it's awesome.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  It's super awesome, because they can, they can design the course how they want, they can use some of the streets, but then the rest of it is just like tarmac, so they can design it however they want.

• 6:32Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  But, I mean, is there any more? I don't know, like, American combination, then NASCAR's going past.

• 6:40Matt Farah?

  It's extremely American.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Past like the osprey.

• 6:43Matt Farah?

  All we need is a...

• 6:44Speaker 01

  But it's, I am here for it. I'm not, that is not a diss. This is so rad.

• 6:48Matt Farah?

  It's funny, what if this was a rumor and they're really just doing Days of Thunder 2? And it's Joseph Kaczynski is all, did you guys see F1? You guys like, who, show of hands, who liked F1? Who thought it was pretty good? Who, did anyone not like F1? Show of hands. Okay, so overwhelmingly, I would say, uh, the Shop Club Rotten Tomatoes score, 85 to 90 percent. Pretty good among this audience. Um, did you guys find, um, did you, I, I thought though, that F1 was literally the plot points of Days of Thunder and the plot points of Top Gun Maverick, ping ponged back and forth to each other? Did anybody else notice that? If you go watch it again, you will not be able to unsee this shit.

• 7:31Matt Farah?

  It's literally like, this minute, okay, pull this scene from Days of Thunder. Okay, guys, now the scene where Goose and fucking, put that here, okay? Now the scene where Cole Trickle walks up the pit lane, put that fucking shit. And it's just back and forth, beat for beat, them two movies. And still, the least realistic part is where Brad Pitt's like, no, I don't want this Rolex Daytona. I've got, I've gotta watch and living in my van is just fine.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  It's not about the money, remember?

• 7:59Matt Farah?

  It's not about the money.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  It's not about the money.

• 8:01Matt Farah?

  No, it's about disrupting the system and moving on. Um, so, where, anyone, who, who else has an idea for a crazy weird place to have a NASCAR race that would be like really aggressively interesting? I've thought of a few. Um, anyone else, anyone else ever want to throw out a really good idea? Where JFK got a sat, right? Start, start, finish at the book depository.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 8:31Matt Farah?

  The window is where you wave the fucking, right? And the grassy knoll, that's the VIP.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:40Matt Farah?

  That's the VIP for sure, right?

• 8:44Speaker 01

  I want, I want to wave the flag.

• 8:45Matt Farah?

  Coverage by Zapruder. Uh, except the TV coverage is in like, and nobody knows who won. They'll be debating who won for like 40 years. Release the fucking data! We need to know who won!

• 9:05Matt Farah?

  Yeah, the starting gun is actually two.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  When do you actually start? Which one's the real one?

• 9:12Matt Farah?

  That would be pretty sick. I was thinking, um, I was thinking, um, how about actually back on the beach at Daytona? Like, they fucking did it in the 40s, but with these cars.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Maybe with some dirt tires.

• 9:28Matt Farah?

  That'll be fun, right? No? Okay, that one's not so popular. Okay. What about Universal Studios Backlot? Like, where the tram goes now? Four wide through that bitch, jaws popping out of the water? No?

• 9:41Speaker 01

  That would be amazing.

• 9:42Matt Farah?

  I think that'd be sick, right?

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Just go full spectacle.

• 9:45Matt Farah?

  Right, if you had to build an under tray so you can skip across the lake, like a fucking... Uh, did I pop out there? Am I good? Okay, cool.

• 9:55Matt Farah?

  What about, um, inside the George Bush Airport Rental Car Facility? Up and down the ramps, like a vertical race? Anybody think that, like, using those, like, spiral ramp joints? I think it would look like Tokyo Drift, right? Like, that would be pretty cool.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  I think you should use inside the George Bush Library, because he's not reading. I think you just do it in there. Because that's over here, and he's probably got a painting studio, but he's like, "This is full of books. I don't know what happens over there. I don't go in there."

• 10:25Matt Farah?

  The book's called "The History of 9/11," and the... No, he's like, "I don't know what happened there."

• 10:32Speaker 01

  There's a choose-your-own-adventure book, and you just keep looking for the page with the actual WMDs on it, but it's not in there. It's missing.

• 10:44Matt Farah?

  My, uh, my final one was Boston Common. I thought a NASCAR race on cobblestones would really level the playing field, don't you think?

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, loose surface.

• 10:52Matt Farah?

  Yeah, right? Loose surface NASCAR? You guys ever tried to drive on cob... Has anyone made it to the Northeast and tried to drive on cobblestones? Is that not the fucking worst, man?

• 11:05Matt Farah?

  There ain't no car that's good at cobblestones. You could be in a Raptor, and you're like, "What the fuck is going on? I spent $75,000 on Fox Bypass Shop."

• 11:15Speaker 01

  That's the secret to doing RFK's voice, is you drive a sports car in Boston. You're like, "I came here to go get a steak, but now I'm lost trying to get my kid to school." "We're trying to find Harvard and decide between that and Yale."

• 11:31Speaker 01

  If my uncle hadn't been shot, I'd be carving up whales on the beach, but now I gotta learn about the healthcare system.

• 11:37Matt Farah?

  Maybe, wait, how about RFK doing,

• 11:44Matt Farah?

  "Gentlemen, start your engines", from the book Depository?

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Gentlemen,

• 11:54Speaker 01

  start your engines,

• 11:57Speaker 01

  and please drink this magic elixir made of bleach.

• 12:02Matt Farah?

  And duck.

• 12:06Matt Farah?

  Alright, so that bit went okay.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  It didn't go.

• 12:09Matt Farah?

  It ran out of steam at the end. We're trying, people! This is a radio show you listen to in your fucking car, quietly.

• 12:19Matt Farah?

  You know how hard it is to do talk radio in front of 250 people?

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:23Matt Farah?

  And make it fun? I had to bring a fucking sideshow act.

• 12:29Matt Farah?

  You're not a sideshow act, Christian.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  If it gets real quiet, we're just gonna do the Van Halen dancing, whatever the fuck that was. That was really interesting.

• 12:38Matt Farah?

  Right? Okay, how about this? We thought it would be fun to come to your city and make fun of you to your faces.

• 12:49Matt Farah?

  I feel like, I feel like Texas people are secretly masochistic and want us to do that. They really liked it in Houston. A few people left early to see the restroom, and I think I know what happened in there. But we were doing Van Halen, it could have been David Lee Roth. You do not know. But in order to make fun of you to your faces properly, we're going to bring back our friend Christian James Hand to join us. Let's give him a round of applause one more time. Where's your chair?

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Take that one.

• 13:17Matt Farah?

  So, oh, also, are there, no one here is like really bald like me? Is there any really bald, really bald people? Okay. When you guys, do you shave your heads like I do? Okay. So, for people who have hair, I'm just gonna educate you on a thing that happens, that you probably don't know about. When you don't have hair at all, when you're pure bald, and you sweat, like you're on stage maybe, or if you're working out, the head itself...

• 13:48Matt Farah?

  is an accelerator. The sweat starts here and it gains speed all the way to here. Where, if you're me, and I now have a new sort of a Rob Reiner thing happening with this beard, that's where it stays. It's not great. Before that, it went all the way down into the shirt collar. So, my shirt is thanking the beard, but everything else has gone very wrong. When it comes to sweating while bald. Now, one thing, we've done two things. We asked you to send us your cars, and boy, did we get, you guys drive some weird shit. Guys, there's some of you drive, some of you drive some shit that you think is weird,

• 14:31Matt Farah?

  but is not weird compared to some of the shit that the rest of you drive. And then we also, while Christian was intro-ing Van Halen and talking about David Lee Roth's dick, we took a walk around the parking lot and found some things that interested us. Uh, where, oh, no, wait, wait, wait.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Skip, uh, we got, we got the list.

• 14:48Matt Farah?

  Oh shit. We're gonna roast your cars at the end. We're gonna come back to that, sorry. We, Zach and I are gonna have a competition.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  The vodka was free tonight.

• 14:57Matt Farah?

  And, no, no, alright, Christian, he can go. We'll come, he'll come back. He'll come back. No, no, we each put together a million dollar car collection themed after your city. That we think, based on our judgments of you in the last day or so, what we think the perfect Dallas million dollar collection looked like. And obviously, this is hypothetical, because we don't, we don't all have a million dollars, right, to spend on cars, at least, you guys don't. I, I used that joke last night, I'm sorry. I don't have a million dollars to spend on cars either. Zach, do you wanna go first?

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, and the guy that didn't laugh, I looked at, turns out he has enough property to have a hundred and eighty car show at his house.

• 15:35Matt Farah?

  The guy that didn't laugh was not fucking around.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  He was like, "I have a million dollars in my pocket and on my wrist, and my cock ring is also a million dollars." Dance for me monkeys, dance for me.

• 15:49Matt Farah?

  Okay, so Zach's gonna go first and give you his million dollar list and will hold judgment, and then I'll give you mine, and then we'll show of applause and see who accurately captured the car vibe of Dallas better, okay? Zach, you're up first. All right. Guys, we gotta take a quick break for today's sponsor, Rula. Listen, Rula, this one's about therapy, right? Therapy, mental health therapy, talk therapy has been part of my entire adult life. I've been seeing a therapist since I was in college. I've actually seen three different therapists over that 25-year period. And here's what's really interesting for me about therapy.

• 16:30Matt Farah?

  It's really helped out, it's really helped my emotional intelligence, I feel. It's helped me deal with my wife, deal with my parents, deal with stress, deal with everything else that's going on. But as I've had different careers and different employers, whether my health insurance covers

• 16:51Matt Farah?

  mental health care has been totally back and forth, which is crazy. It covers my physical health? Why wouldn't it cover my mental health? And maybe you've found the same thing. Maybe you've not been seeing a mental health professional because of insurance. Well, Rula is here and makes sure that your mental health is covered by insurances, right? Right. So, how do you find one? So, all you have to do, right, is Rula's partnered with over 100 insurance plans, making the average copay just 15 bucks a session. We're talking about real therapy from licensed professionals at a price that actually makes sense. And you think about it, your insurance benefits should cover this, right? Already.

• 17:35Matt Farah?

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• 18:20Matt Farah?

  Go to rula.com/tire to get started today. That's R-U-L-A dot com slash tire for quality therapy that's covered by insurance. And we are also brought to you today by DeleteMe. DeleteMe makes it easy, quick, and safe to remove your personal data online at a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everyone vulnerable. Data brokers are out there making a profit off of your data. It's a commodity. Anyone on the web can buy your private details, your address, your phone number, your employment records, things like that, which can lead to phishing attempts, harassment, scams, etc.

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• 20:28Speaker 01

  Starting off simple, cuz you need a truck here. But in Dallas, you guys think yourselves a little fancier than Houston, I think. You want something you could maybe valet at Monarch and get a really overpriced cocktail. They have like a $200 Old Fashioned and a $1,000 Plate of Crap. Fuck you. And by the way, the reviews on Reddit are like, "Yeah, kinda mid, kinda mid." Pay for the view. Some restaurant called Monarch here.

• 20:50Matt Farah?

  Monarch?

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Monarch.

• 20:51Matt Farah?

  Overrated?

• 20:54Speaker 01

  Very expensive.

• 20:55Matt Farah?

  Cool, won't go.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  You pay for the view, as if they're the only tall building in the city.

• 20:59Matt Farah?

  I'm sorry, you pay for the view?

• 21:00Speaker 01

  That's what...

• 21:01Matt Farah?

  Do they know where... What view?

• 21:04Speaker 01

  You get to look at other buildings.

• 21:05Matt Farah?

  I mean, I'm sorry, like, no offense, but like, what is there to see here? Right, okay, so you pay for the view...

• 21:14Speaker 01

  You're paying for the same...

• 21:15Matt Farah?

  ...of other buildings, awesome.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  It's the same view you get for a studio apartment in New York. It's the exact same view.

• 21:21Matt Farah?

  Okay, cool.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  So I'm going Denali with the HD, I wanna toast some shit around. So that's Multimatic Shocks, very, very nice. But number two, you've got Texas 2K race, right?

• 21:34Matt Farah?

  No argument with the 4GT. That's the worst color.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  I want something a little more reliable than your electrical grid, and I want it to be fast enough that like Ted Cruz could outrun the paparazzi. So I want twin turbos on that thing. Mmm, he just can't seem to get away on a vacation.

• 21:50Matt Farah?

  These are good cars. These are very good cars. Does anybody here have a fucking 4GT?

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Someone has to.

• 21:56Matt Farah?

  And someone here's got one, who's got one? Somebody up top, rich people? No? Nobody? Weak shit, bro. There was two of them in Houston, that's all I'm saying.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  If someone here owns multiple singers and not a Ford GT, what are you doing with your life? Other than making money?

• 22:14Matt Farah?

  Who here owns multiple singers?

• 22:16Speaker 01

  Someone might. I'm just hypothesizing.

• 22:20Matt Farah?

  Just saying.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Number three, you guys had some flooding recently. Not the big tragic one. I'm definitely not making fun of that. You guys had like a Dallas flood. Uh, so I want to be able to solve that problem because I don't plan ahead. I'm not going to check the weather. I didn't really check the weather on this trip. I just show up. So I'm going Prodrive Amphacar.

• 22:39Matt Farah?

  What the fuck is that?

• 22:40Speaker 01

  That's right. Prodrive bought a car.

• 22:42Matt Farah?

  I've never heard of this shit before. What is this?

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Look at this thing.

• 22:45Matt Farah?

  Whoa! Habibi, Habibi, can we talk about Captain Stabin's hat right here?

• 22:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. This guy showed up for the picture.

• 22:54Matt Farah?

  This fucking guy. So you, first off, Prodrive is a British company that builds race cars. They found the fucking Britishest guy ever to pilot this thing. His name is Nigel.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Nigel.

• 23:08Matt Farah?

  And someone's gone, mate, we got you a captain hat. And he's gone, alright, okay. And you look like a fucking idiot, Nigel.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Nigel was in the Navy though. He knows his thing about boats.

• 23:18Matt Farah?

  But that car is alright, isn't it?

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Dude, it goes 80 miles per hour on the street and then 43 miles per hour on the water. That's insane.

• 23:25Matt Farah?

  Hmm. Okay. Does this seem like a Dallas car, you guys?

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Hey, I don't want to get stuck in a flood.

• 23:34Matt Farah?

  Nigel's having an awfully good time.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  You made fun, but last night people in Houston had snorkels on their cars and one guy said he literally escaped a flood using the snorkel.

• 23:42Matt Farah?

  Yeah, straight up. I have to apologize to Houston because I spent 10 minutes making fun of a guy who had a snorkel on his truck. And then he was like, later, he was like, actually, like, our whole neighborhood was underwater and like, I was good. And I was like, you know what? Uh, alright buddy, you're fine. So that's my official apology for making fun of that guy for 10 minutes for his snorkel.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. That's like going, oh, you have a concealed carry permit? Oh, cool. And it's like, it saved my life once. And you go, fuck!

• 24:05Matt Farah?

  But this, fuck!

• 24:08Matt Farah?

  This seems like a good time, but like, I think we learn over and over as a people, that nobody wants a fucking car boat.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 24:17Matt Farah?

  Like, who wants a car boat? Like, is that a thing that anybody really wants?

• 24:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 24:24Matt Farah?

  You, what, you want one? You seem 12.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  You're 12. No, but...

• 24:30Matt Farah?

  You're 15.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  15.

• 24:31Matt Farah?

  Okay, you're 15.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Oh, you're the same.

• 24:33Matt Farah?

  Of course you want a car boat.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  You were here last night, you've got the giant truck. You want a...

• 24:36Matt Farah?

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Your truck is 40 feet long and you also want an amphacar.

• 24:39Matt Farah?

  No.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  The childhood dream.

• 24:41Matt Farah?

  You can take your giant trashed-out Super Duty and tow a regular boat to the lake, like a normal fucking Texan, my friend. Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  That makes a lot more sense.

• 24:51Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, nobody want, nobody is, wants this, and especially not rich people. Rich people want a car that does car things and a boat that does boat things, not a thing that does both badly.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  There are, Van Halen, he'd buy one of these things. There are sick David Lee Roth, there are six people that have done enough drugs and have enough money, they go, "Fuck yeah, man."

• 25:11Matt Farah?

  And, um, so, have you seen, there's other, the company that builds this is called Gibbs The Aquata. They convert, there's a, there's one that's a Miata, that's the Aquata. Uh, there's, they do a Corvette, they do a C8 Corvette, and, uh, classism alert, I was just in Lake Como. And they're doing, oh, I swear to God, they're doing Fiat 500 ones. Fiat 500, and they're like, but they're like little putt-putt bullshit ones, they don't go fast. And my 75-year-old mother was like, "That looks fun." I was like, "Mom, let's go." Nah.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Dude, Ludacris has one that's like a Ferrari.

• 25:45Matt Farah?

  Of course he does.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, having a good time.

• 25:47Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  All right.

• 25:48Matt Farah?

  Ludacris gets a pass. Okay.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Next one, simple. You don't really have twisty roads here, but you do have a lot of private track. Uh, 911T, simple, good, nothing wrong with it, fast enough, and as we've learned, you can throw 20 grand at it and get like 300 extra horsepower.

• 26:03Matt Farah?

  Yeah, we just drove one that's 700 horsepower, so, all right. I recommend it.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  All right, and the last one, you do have nice weather here eventually, I guess, not now, I'm sure it happens at some point, and you do have a lot of nice architecture, some of it's kind of brutalist and weird, but it would be nice to drive around and look up at the buildings, but as we spoke about before, convertible's not the safest thing for Dallas, so I'm going Pulp Mobile.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wanna be driven around and be able to look up at things.

• 26:31Matt Farah?

  This popemobile is kinda sick. The ones they've been using recently have been sorta lame, actually.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Dude, look, the interior's nice.

• 26:37Matt Farah?

  There's like a Wrangler one that's really weird and lame looking. The Jevagin one is, oh, that's like some brabbish shit, dude. I would, how sick would it be if you were DJ Khalid?

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Another one.

• 26:51Matt Farah?

  If you were DJ Khalid, would you not have one of those and just roll around Miami, just "We the best!" on fucking, on repeat?

• 27:00Speaker 01

  He could have the decks in the back, someone drives for him and he just, yep.

• 27:03Matt Farah?

  It would be pretty, pretty slick.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  He could have a good time.

• 27:06Matt Farah?

  I'm into that. Okay, so that's, that's what Zach thinks of your town, and I can see all of you are on board with his thought process. Okay, here's, uh, here's where I'm at. Numero uno, the underground racing twin-turbo Lamborghini Huracan, yeah? This seems, this seems about, this is Dallas, we could say Dallas Performance. I thought, they're, they're here too, right? Anybody, anyone have a Dallas Performance car? Them things go fast, right? They're half-mile cars. So yeah, twin-turbo Lamborghinis, they seem very Dallas to me. More so than Houston, actually. They can't afford them shits in Houston.

• 27:46Matt Farah?

  No, they run twin-turbo Vipers down there 'cause they're cheaper, I'm just saying. Respect to Calvo, but like, if you know, you know. Alright, so we're in, we're into that, right? Now, this, a proper Texas quail rig.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Alright, I just lost, I think, I just lost.

• 28:05Matt Farah?

  Any hunt, any hunters in the room? Any guy, anyone shoot birds? You boys shoot birds? Oh, my man with the German short-haired pointer, he shoots birds, I know that. Yeah, so, when, so, so if you guys have no fucking idea what you're looking at, in quail hunting and bird hunting, it's a traditionally English thing, it's very like proper, they really dress, like, they dress like a Guy Ritchie movie to go do this stuff, right? You walk through the fields for miles and you have dogs and professional guides and yada, yada, yada.

• 28:40Matt Farah?

  And then we merchandised this shit. And we were like, "What if English hunting, but fucking yachts?" And so, in Texas, they have what's called the quail rig. And that's where you convert a regular car to a stadium seating fuckmobile with refrigerators. And so, these are all the kennels for the dogs. You got the bow rider seats, you've got your gun sheaths, you've got the double decker shit. And you can make any... Look, this one's got the high drive! I'm trying to stop it from flashing through. Look, this one's got high drive... This is... That one drives like a movie car, where the driver's seat's on the roof and Brad Pitt's

• 29:23Matt Farah?

  talking like he's driving, but fucking Ben Collins is actually driving up there. And they turn... This is a... This one looks like a wrangler. This looks like a mini moke. That's a wrangler... A moke? No, I mean, it looks like a mini moke. It looks like a moke, but I actually think that's a wrangler. But you can do super duties, anything with a body on frame, but they got Rolls Royce ones. Um, they... Look at this one. Look at this thing. That's some homemade shit. That's a Burning Man car. That ain't a quail rig. Look at... No, that's a Burning Man car. And here's the thing about... You can make a quail rig, you can buy a quail rig, uh, and these are... And you still get out and walk to shoot, but these go in between the fields, and they've got a full bar and all of your guns and your ammo.

• 30:08Matt Farah?

  And if I lived in this state, my shit would be ridiculous. LM002, you know, crazy, crazy, right? Picture it, picture it. Any graphic designers in the room? Somebody Photoshop that up for me later. The LM002 quail rig, triple stadium seating, I want a bow rider and diamond plate, please. Getting towed out of the bush by an F-250. Mm-hmm. I have ridden on the bow ride in some of these things, and... Listen. Look, sometimes people just need to be oppressed in order for me to have this much money to do this stuff.

• 30:49Matt Farah?

  And that's okay if I get to ride on the bow of a Rolls Royce quail rig. Bing! You guys understand, right? Sometimes people need to starve and die so that I can ride on diamond plate, you know?

• 31:03Matt Farah?

  Okay, moving on. Uh, keeping that in the spirit, the F-350 King Ranch duly- You dickbag. Has to be the King Ranch, more importantly, has to be the pre-07 King Ranch. My man right here, my lady clapping because she knows. Who knows what happened in 08 with the King Ranch?

• 31:28Matt Farah?

  Oh, so you guys all know cars because you're talking, you say the engine sucks. They stopped using full King Ranch leather. The 03 to 07 used a full King Ranch interior, and then they were like, "Oh shit, this is popular. We can't fucking, we're gonna run out of leather. We can't sell all these trucks. We can't, we can only do this one. We can't do a 150 and a 250 and a fucking Ranger and a Bronco King Ranch. There aren't enough cows." The 06, 07 were the last years to have a full, can scroll, scroll down so we can see, the full King Ranch interior. And look, this one, see, see the aging? That's the full seat, that's the whole shit. They don't do that anymore. The aging, that's called old. That's an old seat. They, Ford-

• 32:13Matt Farah?

  That's a farted seat. Ford has, the King Ranch is fart resistant. The leather is tanned specifically to resist farts. By the way, do you guys know what the best car to fart in is?

• 32:25Matt Farah?

  Porsche, Porsches, because the cooled seats suck, they don't blow. So it's a fart dispersment device. You fart into the seat, it's gone forever. That is the best car for dates ever. You need that. It is. Yes, I would like to go to Northern Thai for our first date. Aren't you concerned? I have a Panamera.

• 32:46Matt Farah?

  It'll be good for you too, don't worry. I'll turn on your side also. It'll be fun. Oh, bacon Brussels sprouts, great, yeah. Yeah, oh, a blowjob. That's risky for both of us.

• 32:59Matt Farah?

  The 06 F350 King Ranch. I think I have...

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Two more.

• 33:04Matt Farah?

  This one's a little more obvious.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  The biggest Mustang in the world?

• 33:06Matt Farah?

  Mustang GTD, yes. The biggest, biggest Mustang ever made. Has any of you seen a GTD in person? In person, you have, right? It's the size of a Suburban. It is the biggest car you've ever seen. You can't believe how huge this fucking thing is. It is so enormous. It's the perfect Texas car. Nobody takes up space like a Texan. Y'all motherfuckers have a 45-acre ranch and put up a huge fucking fence around it. You're like, "This is for nobody else." I'm taking up this fucking 45 acres. And that is what this car is for. When you absolutely must take as much space up on the highway as possible.

• 33:49Matt Farah?

  By the way, this car has 325 front tires. So if you think you're gonna be able to steer this on a Dallas freeway, best of luck to you, son.

• 34:01Matt Farah?

  But I thought you guys would like this. It feels like Houston is a little more of an LS town and Dallas is a little more of a mod motor town. Am I right about that?

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Is that part of the division between the cities?

• 34:14Matt Farah?

  It's part of the division. Fucking cam and block, bro, for life. For life, this dual overhead cam shit is for fucking queer stuff.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  I feel like I really want the Ford and Chevy crowd to come together and have like their march on Selma, but a Mustang driver's gonna hit everybody and fuck it up.

• 34:31Matt Farah?

  They'll have the march and a Cybertruck will just plow right through that motherfucker.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  Yes, it will.

• 34:36Matt Farah?

  Because no car has ever been better designed for running over humans effectively.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Alright, and your last one... This is sick.

• 34:43Matt Farah?

  The 6-deuce Eldo Bia Ritz. Not them round 50's shit. This is tough boy, square body Bia Ritz. Right? We can't say a suicide door Conti because reasons, but if you had to drive some dope fucking sled by a book depository, this would be the fucking shit, right? I love a fucking 6-deuce Bia Ritz. This one sold for 90K on Bring a Trailer, and I can see why. This is a lovely, lovely automobile. Okay, so that's my five.

• 35:20Matt Farah?

  Y'all remember Zax 5? Okay. Round of applause. Who thinks Zach Klapman assessed Dallas better?

• 35:29Matt Farah?

  Hey!

• 35:32Matt Farah?

  I like you better than Houston already. That's not bad. That's not bad. Who thinks I understand Dallas better?

• 35:44Matt Farah?

  I have to say, I think the big man wins by a nose there. I think he won. I think I won. Two for two, motherfuckers. I know you. I know you better than you. Who, alright. Show of hands, who thinks? Is there a more Dallas car than what we have brought up? Is anyone? Not more than the Pope Mobile. You guys missed something. Right here, what? A Tahoe? Alright, well, these are boring cars. We cannot sustain a live program going, "Top 5 is gonna be a Tahoe, a Range Rover." No, we can't. That'll be boring. But, okay, any interesting cars? Yes? No? Raptor R. So, the thing is, I used that one for Houston.

• 36:27Matt Farah?

  Listen, that's probably more Houston than here, if I'm honest. The math, the math, I think, is with me on that. And actually, I do have to say, at Houston last night, I saw more Cadillac Black Wings in one place than I've ever seen, ever, in my life, including the press launch. There was like 12 at our show last night. It was all fucking Black Wings. Oh, yeah, what, you, yellow shirt?

• 36:53Matt Farah?

  A white Cadillac with horns? We saw, we saw a car with horns today. It was a plumber in a Super Duty. I swear the fuck it was! You get, you take the horns off and you just rotoruter with it, and then you put it back on the hood. There was the truck with horns. But it wasn't a plumber. It was a lawyer, remember? And it said like, "Car accident, slip and fall." And then sexual harassment. And then sexual harassment. In a different font color. And then, yep. Which is weird. And then, Trump Vance 2024. And then in the front, horns.

• 37:31Matt Farah?

  It was a, it was a something. Last one, is there a more Texas car? White, yeah, white shirt.

• 37:38Matt Farah?

  Oh shit, habibi.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:41Matt Farah?

  Habibi, listen.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  Altima with expired temp tags.

• 37:45Matt Farah?

  Look, look, we know, we know, we know. And, and what he said for the people at home later was a 2012 Altima with expired tags. And you're not wrong. The problem is, that's the official car of everywhere. That's, that is the official car of I have nothing left to live for and no credit to burn. And, and you know, 144 months, no money down, baby. Let's fucking go.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  If you want to own the rental car experience and have that carelessness, you own an Altima and you send it like you have four miles on a Ram into a K-Rail.

• 38:21Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  The difference is with the Altima, you keep going. I see fucked up Altimas that are just making it down the road.

• 38:27Matt Farah?

  Yeah, no, it's, I mean, if you were, listen. If any of us found ourselves in that position, can't we all just admit collectively that it's nice to know the Altima's there for us?

• 38:41Matt Farah?

  But you can't quite swing an accord. You know what I mean? You know, like-

• 38:47Speaker 01

  It's the emergency room of cars. That's what it is.

• 38:49Matt Farah?

  Yeah, like, like, there, there is always something lower until you get to an Altima.

• 38:58Matt Farah?

  And that's it. I mean, below that, it's basically, every once in a while, you see a video of somebody on like TikTok or something and it's like, dude got his fourth Dewey and it's him like rolling a Power Wheels, you know, to work? That's the only step left at post Altima. Yeah, that's true, but man, that's, that's everywhere. That ain't just Texas. That's, that's, um-

• 39:20Speaker 01

  We saw a guy post Altima today. He was bicycling on the highway.

• 39:23Matt Farah?

  Fuck, yeah, dude. Sam Houston Tollway on a fucking 10-speed. That shit is crazy, bro. I can't believe people are outside here during the day. It's insane.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  I don't think that gentleman has a choice.

• 39:37Matt Farah?

  I said, I like went, like, I literally, I just went outside and considered that exercise. I was so sweaty, I was like, that must be exercise, right? It's the same fucking thing. Water weight's just like real weight. Um, okay, so, we are at, oh shit, is it 8:45?

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Yes, sir.

• 39:52Matt Farah?

  Whoa, time's flying when you're this drunk. Um, I'm not that drunk, you guys. I'm not that drunk. We saw shots? Someone, someone, we do not need shots. But apparently there's some kind of barrel pick tequila here at the shop that is fucking good. And we are going to be at the bar later. And if you are a member of the shop, or become one today, you can drink on my tab. What? Oh, boy, that's not it. You've gone wrong.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Is that, that's me. Hello?

• 40:25Matt Farah?

  Hey, Chris, come back.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 40:28Matt Farah?

  Alright, so, now, we put up the email, so some of you sent us cars and volunteered to have us talk about your cars a little bit. Other people didn't volunteer, they just parked their shit in the lot, and so... And some people sent pictures of cars they saw on the highway. That's definitely not your car. Yeah, someone sent, someone sent a picture of like a full studio shoot that like, I think was at a DuPont registry or some shit. It was definitely not your car. But we found some, and we're going to talk about them, and oh, boy. We could talk about the Datsun, but we're actually going to talk about this. Raise your hand if you know what this fucking car is. Oh, it's the guy who knew about Ultimas. Yeah, your other car is an Ultima, if you have one of these.

• 41:13Matt Farah?

  This is called a Puma. And can you scroll up in the emails, Zach, to see how the owner described a Puma? He called it the Brazilian 911. Now, that's a very funny thing to say about a car that underneath is a Volkswagen Beetle.

• 41:33Matt Farah?

  Uh, and, oh.

• 41:34Speaker 02

  Here's a reflection.

• 41:36Matt Farah?

  Is that for me?

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:37Matt Farah?

  Yes! You guys, I was so thirsty.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Keep drinking this.

• 41:39Matt Farah?

  Thank you. Okay, go back down, Zach. So this is called a Puma. It's a fiberglass body on a Beetle. It's actually like, not terrible looking, am I right? It's like, kind of a decent looking car. From this distance, the key is to get up close, and shit comes apart real fast. Now, homie over here has had his hand up, itching to say some shit about the Puma for like, a minute. So what do you got?

• 42:06Matt Farah?

  It's, no, no, it's his. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:09Matt Farah?

  Who else owns a Puma? Myron Vernis. Of course, Myron Vernis.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  Of course he does, Myron Vernis, yeah.

• 42:13Matt Farah?

  He was like, this factoid that he couldn't wait to tell me. He was like, "Do you know who else owns this weird fucking car? The guy you know who buys every weird fucking car." It's true, he does. He does have one. Myron Vernis, shout out to him. These actually, even though they're terrible, are like, kind of dope. When you've seen everything else, you would stop and check this out. Like, one of these poor, you know, one of the guys at the shop here, these guys are great, asked me earlier, like, "What's your favorite car here?" And I was thinking about it, I didn't give him a good answer. Uh, and I think they expected me to say something that was like, "Cool." And I've come up with one. Master Schmidt. Right there. Find the weirdest thing in any room.

• 42:56Matt Farah?

  That's what I like. Cause when you've seen it all, so if there was a Puma here, I'd drool on it for 20 fucking minutes.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  We should've driven into the show in the Master Schmidt.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  I know, that was my, I told you.

• 43:05Speaker 01

  I know it was your idea, I'm not trying to set you up.

• 43:06Matt Farah?

  Oh, that would've been awesome!

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like, "You guys should've driven in in the Master Schmidt."

• 43:08Matt Farah?

  Does that thing run? Shop people? Master Schmidt, run? Maybe? I don't know, whatever. Okay, Puma? 10 points, my friend. 10 points. Is that car in America? Yeah. It is? Yeah, I had it imported a couple of years ago. Wow. Talk about a car that is not worth importing and you import it anyway. That's what like-

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a real labor of love.

• 43:29Matt Farah?

  You know, when you see like, someone who's like, really imported something that is like, you're like, "That was $2,000 and you spent $10,000 getting it here." Like, that's the kind of commitment that we want. Yeah, that's love.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  That's love.

• 43:42Matt Farah?

  This, uh, Miata RF. Zach, why did you pull this one up? Tell me about this.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Oh, uh, we were talking to this thing, this is a way, this is how you come out to your family in Dallas.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  Like-

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  No judgment?

• 43:56Speaker 02

  No judgment.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  And a stereotype, uh, these are great cars. The stereotype is stupid, but it does exist. So, you show up with this and you say, "I'm selling my guns," and the, and the family goes, "You want more corn?" And no one talks about it.

• 44:09Matt Farah?

  "We love you anyway."

• 44:11Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 44:11Matt Farah?

  "We're not gonna pay your insurance anymore, though." "I can't have my agent knowing my son is driving that." Oh shit. Alright, alright now. Yeah, yeah, let's do this. Is the person in the room that submitted the Chevy HHR SS? Is that person here? It's you? Is that, that is your car? Yeah. Okay. Why do you have a Chevy HHR SS? Somebody hit my car and it was uninsured, so I just bought that car. You bought it as like a beater? Yes. Okay. Fuck yeah, you did. Yeah, so.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Fuck yeah, it is.

• 44:46Matt Farah?

  Fuck yeah. So this is like, you know, Bob Lutz looked at the PT Cruiser and he did a little Hold My Beer. And he's like, let's make it worse. Except then he made it way worse. Yeah, I'll make this worse.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  Let's give it lip injections. Let's give that.

• 45:00Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  PT Cruiser lip injections.

• 45:04Matt Farah?

  This is Botched Surgeries of Volume 1.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is, this is duck lips.

• 45:08Matt Farah?

  It's fucking horrendous. It drives a lot better than it looks, right? Yeah. It's a manual. The funny thing about, you know, that's a Cobalt SS under there. And those cars, powertrain wise, fabulous. Everything else couldn't have been shittier. I mean, just junk.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  They're good drivers' cars, aren't they? Like a decent race car?

• 45:27Matt Farah?

  Engaging.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  Good race car, bad car.

• 45:29Matt Farah?

  It's the C4 Corvette of front-wheel-drive hatchbacks. You know what I mean? That, yeah, that is the GTI of C4 Corvettes, is what the HHR SS is. But they, you know, they made an SS panel truck?

• 45:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:43Matt Farah?

  You could get the SS panel, they're crazy rare. Doug Demiro's in the back like, "Hrrrrr." And his house, and his house in Nantucket with just exposed to the beach. You know, he goes out on his deck, his $7 million Nantucket house, and he's like fucking naked. He's like, "HHRs." That's, that's what you do when you sell that, get that cars in bid, Mike. What do I want? I want a, I want a, I want a deck where I can like really jack off over extremely rare cars and nobody will see me. We got you, bro. Sconcet.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  That's why he has, he wants the rear-facing Range Rover for that exact thing.

• 46:22Matt Farah?

  I just tried to suck on a toothpick. That doesn't end well. This, now, here we go. This short-wheel-based Bronco, hard parked with its wheel on a very small boulder.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  Now, whose, whose car is this?

• 46:36Matt Farah?

  Who's Bronco is this?

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Your car. Alright, so do you off-road this a lot? Or is it, no?

• 46:40Matt Farah?

  This is where it stops. Was this the first time? Yeah, I tried it last year and that got like...

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Alright, so you, you sent this in and you're like, "I'm gonna send him to the Hard Park thing. I'm up on the boulder, I got some mud on it. I'm fucking tough, right?" Guess what? The next person that emailed us... Boom!

• 46:58Matt Farah?

  So, best in show. Best in show. Best in show. Best in show. Will the owner of the monster truck smart car please raise your ass? Shout out to him. Yeah, this is it. This is what winning looks like, ladies and gentlemen. This is what parking in a compact space is all about. Most, normally it's like if that fucking kid was with his super duty and had to park in a compact space, this is what you would do. But is that, is anything about this functional, sir? No, okay, cool. Yeah, I know. Does it, does it like drive? It does work? Okay, it's a real car that works. You fucking daily it? Yeah, yeah, it's a champion. She dailies it?

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Did you lift it or did you buy it like this? Why?

• 47:46Matt Farah?

  You did it like this, okay. Cause why not?

• 47:48Speaker 01

  I like, no, I'm on board. I'm just like wondering if there was a theory. Like the roads are bad? No, you're just going for it. I like it.

• 47:54Matt Farah?

  Does it ride like it looks? How is the ride? Ride's good? Cool.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  It's got Mag Ride. This is gonna be like an aerospace engineer. He's like, "I put DSSVs on it, just fabricated it up myself."

• 48:07Matt Farah?

  I, I have to say, you know, and it's just, just, I mean, I don't know if you guys know this, but a smart, a smart car is a rear engine car. So, all you'd have to do is change the entire powertrain and you could do wheelies. If you change the entire powertrain, this would absolutely do wheelies. With the stock powertrain, it will barely go 12 miles an hour. I bet this can't get up a hill. Good thing you don't have any.

• 48:32Matt Farah?

  Shout out to the fucking off-road smart car. Yeah, yeah.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Just upstaging.

• 48:36Matt Farah?

  That's how it's done. That's a, that's a fucking 10 out of 10. I, is this, this is the same car I saw outside today, right? Who's driving this? Is this you? This is a SN95 Cobra. It's not a 4.6, it's a 5.0, it's a 94, 95. It's in absolutely fucking stellar condition. And I stopped because, you know, look, let's be honest, it's a fucking 94 Mustang, right? It's in stellar condition. But back in the day... There was a girl who was in nursing school and drove one of these. And boy, did I wanna fuck her.

• 49:20Matt Farah?

  And I absolutely never did. Never even came close. Never even, never even came close.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Talk about jacking off to cars. Matt's just like, goddamn.

• 49:27Matt Farah?

  Kelly.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  This chick in the 94.

• 49:29Matt Farah?

  Kelly from the nursing school. But yeah, no, when I was building my Mustang in high school, this was what Kelly was rolling in as a daily. And, you know, she was like 5'2", so her seat was like on the steering wheel. She looked like one of those old Chinese ladies driving, but fucking ripping four gears. This is what's up.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:52Matt Farah?

  These are great. These are really underrated. How many miles are on this thing, bro? 28,000.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 49:58Matt Farah?

  How many did you buy it with? 25? And how long ago was that? A year and a half ago. Okay, he's doing work. He's doing work. That's good. Keep that up. These are fabulous cars. They drive much better than most people think they drive. They're really, really good. And we're not gonna make fun of you. I just wanted a reason to bring up Kelly, who I really wanted to fuck back in the day.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Kelly smoking.

• 50:25Matt Farah?

  Shout out to her, drove a Probe GT. Real Ford family, that one. The Probe was good. We had lots of jokes about what to do with that Probe in high school. Anyone ever had a Probe? The Probe was platform shared with the Mazda MX-6, which is a global platform. And so the Probe GT got the MX-6 V6, which was actually a JDM V6. It was a 2-liter V6 that in Japanese trim revved to 8,500 and sounded like a rotary and would shoot fire if you took the cats off. Fucking underrated engine. The Audi RS6 that is parked in the back. We feel like this is a very Dallas car. Right?

• 51:08Speaker 01

  The roads are smooth enough for this. It's kind of a stiff car.

• 51:12Matt Farah?

  But Christian the drummer was like, "Bro."

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Put my fucking kit in the back of that.

• 51:16Matt Farah?

  Bro, does it fit a fire extinguisher?

• 51:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:20Matt Farah?

  Who's got this Audi RS6? Right there. "Oh, you look like you have an RS6."

• 51:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:26Matt Farah?

  How much did you sell your tech startup for? He didn't? You married her? Yes, that's the way to do it. Let's jam on Kelly the nurse, ladies and gentlemen.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  He's hiding her face.

• 51:39Matt Farah?

  Kelly, nice to see you. Good lord. You've come up. Um, this is a very Texas car, high speeds, long distances, freeway. Um, I've known four people who've had one of these. Every single one after six months said, "I'm totally fucking bored with this thing. Help me sell it." How long have you had yours? Two months. Ooh!

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Two months.

• 52:03Matt Farah?

  The clock is ticking, my friends. Start the clock now!

• 52:06Speaker 01

  It's okay.

• 52:07Matt Farah?

  He's had it two months. We're gonna check back in in four months with Dave. We're gonna come back to Dallas.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Commit to the woman, not the car, that's alright.

• 52:14Matt Farah?

  Homie's gonna be like, "I bought an E63 estate."

• 52:18Speaker 01

  By the way, how happy is Audi that no picture was ever taken of Hitler in an Audi? They're like, "Yes."

• 52:23Matt Farah?

  Oh.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 52:24Matt Farah?

  Oh, thank god. He, you know, he was driving, Sam, just nuts on camera.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:28Matt Farah?

  It was amazing. Mercedes, they all of his sponsors say, "Put this on camera, put this on camera, woo!"

• 52:34Speaker 01

  I'm more of an introvert, Mercedes is an extrovert, he must be in the pictures.

• 52:37Matt Farah?

  No, they were, no, auto, you.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  I know, they helped, I know.

• 52:41Matt Farah?

  Listen, let's not... You guys remember how much Hitler had to do with like, German cars, right? You guys remember how much Henry Ford liked Hitler, right? He really liked Hitler a lot. Like, so much. He was a huge fan of Hitler. Just, it's just very important.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  When they met, he gushed so much, oh my god.

• 53:02Matt Farah?

  That we don't let people forget that. Sometimes, people who run car companies in America are huge fans of Hitler.

• 53:12Matt Farah?

  Turns out.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 53:14Matt Farah?

  And, and because they have a lot of jobs in America, and they're making things in America, they just let you keep being a fan of Hitler. They don't like, stop you. You could just keep getting government subsidies and building cars and being all "Hile." Isn't that wild? I just, I don't know, I thought, cause like 100 years ago that happened, that maybe, I don't know, someone would remember. Isn't that funny?

• 53:39Speaker 01

  So, just, just, just cause I'm autistic and Grok said like he's, uh, Mecha Hitler, doesn't mean I like Hitler that much. Just don't look at my search history, okay? Just don't, just don't. Please go to the diner and give me all the money. It went British at the end, it's tough.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's alright.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  That guy's from 15 places.

• 53:56Matt Farah?

  Now, let's talk about the Pontiac Solstice. Who sent us, who sent us their non-running project car?

• 54:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, where's picture two?

• 54:07Matt Farah?

  Because-

• 54:08Speaker 01

  There's picture two.

• 54:09Matt Farah?

  Yeah, it's on a trailer.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  There it is.

• 54:11Matt Farah?

  It was like, "Here's my solstice," and I was like, "Oh, that's boring." He's like, "It's my non-running project car." I'm like, "That's what you've submitted."

• 54:19Speaker 02

  You know what?

• 54:20Matt Farah?

  Well-

• 54:20Speaker 02

  That's about right. It comes free with the trailer.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  And additionally, you, wait, but you also, you also said it doesn't run and probably never will again. So, why did, did you buy this, like, to put plants in? What's your deal?

• 54:34Speaker 01

  It has to run to modify it.

• 54:35Matt Farah?

  Wanted to modify it, never got around to it.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  He's gonna modify it to something that doesn't run.

• 54:39Matt Farah?

  Who's ever bought something as a project car only to like not do the project car? Anybody? Like five, six people, it's okay, you're in-

• 54:47Speaker 01

  No, five, six, and then a lot of shy hands started popping up.

• 54:50Matt Farah?

  It's okay, you're with friends, you're with friends. Who bought a project car that they didn't finish? It's okay, come on, come on!

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, come on.

• 54:57Matt Farah?

  You're with fucking friends.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  It's a safe space.

• 54:59Matt Farah?

  Yeah, it's like 25 people, okay. It's a pretty, it's probably 10% of this entire audience, it's okay.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  It's okay.

• 55:04Matt Farah?

  You guys are fine. Yeah, yeah. Your car's a fucking shitbox, sir.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:09Matt Farah?

  Listen, it, it, I drove the solstice when it was brand new, and I went, "So you're telling me they had a Miata?" Like, they had one. And they were like, "Guys, we're gonna build a better Miata." And then they built the solstice, and they're like, "Guys, we're done."

• 55:28Speaker 02

  We failed.

• 55:29Matt Farah?

  That was it? Same thing with the, who's, who has driven a Fiat 124? You, you, anyone know that? It's the, the modern one, right? Is it not the worst car you've ever driven in your life? It's like you take a great car like a Mazda Miata and goes, guys, everything about the Miata is like an eight across the board. Eights, eights, eights, eights, eights. Give me a six. Let's have like 12 espressos, take all these eights, turn them into sixes, print that bitch right a barth on the back.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  It's like the Excalibur thing when they bolted out the Miata, but they did it with a Fiat. Like make it longer, add a turbo, but worse. Handling sucks and by the way, it's built by Fiat.

• 56:08Matt Farah?

  Oh, this is a good one. This one stopped Zach and I. Habibi, let's talk about this international scout. No doors, but seemingly Rhino liner where the door went.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:20Matt Farah?

  Um, can, who, can anyone claim responsibility? Blue shirt, this is your scout?

• 56:25Speaker 02

  Bold choices.

• 56:25Matt Farah?

  Did you build this scout? Did you buy it like this? You bought it?

• 56:33Matt Farah?

  Oh, it's a super scout, so it came with no, that's a fucking thing?

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Wait, that's such an oxymoron. This is the soup, this is Porsche marketing. It's the super scout, it's got nothing more money.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  No seats. Yeah, we took the wheels off of it.

• 56:46Matt Farah?

  So are you telling me this is an original vehicle? This is what this was? Wow. I'm impressed. And I also feel very sorry for you because that must drive horribly.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  What engine's in it? Yeah, it's the shitty one it came with. I drove this car in high school. Yeah.

• 57:02Matt Farah?

  Yeah. These are.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  Eighty?

• 57:08Matt Farah?

  It drives straight at eighty, but.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  They go eighty?

• 57:10Speaker 02

  There's not much that isn't.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  Ours didn't go eighty.

• 57:12Matt Farah?

  I should have put this in my Dallas list. It drives straight at eighty, but.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. We drove into Dallas, there wasn't much to do except drive fucking straight at eighty, to be honest with you. That was it.

• 57:24Matt Farah?

  Okay, now this one I have a real hard time. Is this someone's actual car here? Fucking you? The fucking bird hunter with the expensive dog. Yeah, okay. All right, no, I'm kidding. Uh, so the Eleanor, uh, GT 500. Um, are you a big Gone in 60 Seconds fan? Is that how you ended up with this car?

• 57:48Matt Farah?

  It was the backdrop of, oh, so how old are you?

• 57:50Speaker 01

  Can't knock that.

• 57:51Matt Farah?

  Forty-two. We're supposed to have posters on our walls. When you say it's a backdrop of your laptop, I'm expecting to say you're thirty-two. When you say you're my age, yeah, okay, oh, so it's the backdrop of your laptop for ten years, okay. And is it, uh, is it fast? Is it legit? It's got four sixty-three hundred shots. A four sixty-three with a hundred shot of spray.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Have you ever hit the go baby go button?

• 58:14Speaker 02

  Does it go in sixty seconds?

• 58:16Matt Farah?

  It made you remove the, uh, the nitrous. That's awesome. To get insured. Okay, let me just, for the people at home. Hagerty Insurance, who is my insurance broker also, made him remove the spray in order to get insured. And, and how did you prove to them that you removed the spray? With one photo, right? Correct, and it went right back on. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Dude, that's the best fix-it ticket I've ever heard of.

• 58:48Matt Farah?

  Allegedly.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  That's fantastic.

• 58:49Matt Farah?

  Uh, how did the accident happen, sir? Uh, certainly not the spray. No, the spray, the fuck it, homie, homie's gonna wrap this thing around the tree, be all woozy, and be like, disconnect the spray!

• 59:03Speaker 01

  Well, dude, the, no.

• 59:04Matt Farah?

  It's on declared value. His last, his dying words are gonna be all, he's gonna be fucking bleeding on the inside and be like, it's on agreed value! Disconnect, disconnect the spray! It's insured for three fifty, you guys! I'm gonna be fu-

• 59:27Speaker 02

  It's gonna be real hard to get that on a gravestone.

• 59:29Matt Farah?

  Hey, I can act, you guys.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Dude, the police body cam is gonna be him standing there holding the tank like a teddy bear. Like, I don't know how it happened, and just gotta get out of here.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Weirdest thing.

• 59:40Matt Farah?

  You know, they used to, they used to, um, I used to huff so much nitrous, um, like, no, so mu- like, I used to huff so much nitrous, um, and, from tanks, from scuba tanks, big tanks. And they used to tell us that you can't huff the car nitrous. It's different from the, the dentist nitrous. You absolut- it's got like lubricants in it, you cannot huff the car nitrous. Does anybody believe that? I don't. And I can prove it.

• 1:00:13Matt Farah?

  I've never actually tried to huff the car. Um, is the Shelby here?

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Does anyone here work for Chevron or Shell? Can you corroborate this and just tell us there's no additives?

• 1:00:23Matt Farah?

  But we have to move on because the star of the show is the 1998 C5 Corvette Indy 500 pace car. Does the owner of this car be present in this room? It's your fucking car. Are you wearing New Balances?

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's the footwear?

• 1:00:40Matt Farah?

  It's okay, I am. I am. They're white. They're very white and you are wearing jorts, but it's okay. Okay. The 98, the now Corvette Indy pace car, it goes back a ways, right? Goes back to 83, 82, 83? What's the first? Nerd, what's the first year of the pace car? I think it's 78? 70, is the black gold is 70? Okay, thank you. All right. I should have known with his shorts, he would have fucking had that. Yeah, 78 is the first. In my opinion, this is the game over pace car. This is where you went, okay, we're not going to top this ever. Cancel the program. Fucking neon green wheels and seats, you guys.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Green, yellow.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  Quick thing, Matt's colorblind.

• 1:01:26Matt Farah?

  Sorry.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  So, uh, moving forward.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  Everyone just say yes, they're green wheels.

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  Yes, Matthew, they're green. They always have been green.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, cabs are green. It's so fucking weird.

• 1:01:40Matt Farah?

  Have, uh, have you guys seen my Porsche? That explains it.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. He's convinced it's red.

• 1:01:46Matt Farah?

  Why, sir, why did you buy the fucking most absurd Corvette ever made? Oh, inherited, that makes sense. Yeah. 93,000 miles, at least he drove it. At least he drove it.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  It's been driven.

• 1:02:05Matt Farah?

  Most C5 Corvettes are never bought, sold, or driven. Every C5 Corvette has either 200,000 or 12,000 miles on it. And I know what I have!

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  So it's a family car?

• 1:02:16Matt Farah?

  No lowballs!

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Has any other, has any family member ever ridden in the car with you? Or they, you just have to drive it alone?

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  I knew that.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:26Matt Farah?

  Okay, wait. Ma'am, I need to speak with you for a moment. You are, you're with him? Okay, how do you feel about this car, really? How do you feel about his Corvette? Do you like it? It's cool? Great, perfect, end of discussion.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:46Matt Farah?

  I'm not fucking on... I, I know what you want, and what you want is for me to fuck his life up, and I ain't gonna do it.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Happy wife, happy life.

• 1:02:52Matt Farah?

  Sorry.

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:53Matt Farah?

  Sorry. It's ain't that kinda show. If someone else wants me to fuck their life up, meet me at the bar, we can talk. I, I respect you for driving your inherited Corvette around, and I respect you for actually admitting you like it.

• 1:03:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:08Matt Farah?

  I certainly wouldn't.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  Green wheels and all.

• 1:03:10Matt Farah?

  Oh, boy, let's get to the finale.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  You could've just written this in instead of sending us a picture, cuz this is just jarring to look at.

• 1:03:19Matt Farah?

  The brand-new BMW M2. Who owns the BMW M2 here? Over in the side, yeah, you look like it.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that, that tracks.

• 1:03:28Matt Farah?

  Are you, what, how many BMW logos are on your person right now? None? That's a rare one, that's very rare. I have a question for you about this car. So when I drove the 2004 Cayenne Turbo, everyone was like, "It's so ugly." And they were right, but then I took it up to 160 on the freeway, and I was like, "I don't give a fuck, this thing rips." Is that how you feel about this? You don't see the outside when you're driving it? That's exactly right, you don't see the outside when you're driving it.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  But how do you find the car when you walk out of your house with a blindfold on? Like, do you ever wander into someone else's car, the wrong door?

• 1:04:03Matt Farah?

  Has anyone ever seen the movie Crazy People? If you haven't, it's a fa, it's a movie about an advertising agent who has a fucking mental break and gets locked up in a, in asylum. But he has the inmates in the asylum write "Honest Car Ads." And Honest, it's Dudley Moore, yeah.

• 1:04:23Matt Farah?

  And if I was writing an ad for this, it would just be, "The BMW M2." You can't see it once you're in it.

• 1:04:31Matt Farah?

  And, and you'd sell some cars, I gotta be honest. Yeah.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Is this, I have a question. Is this your actual car at the dealership? With the fucking red bow on top of it? Oh my god, you know what? It really is.

• 1:04:49Matt Farah?

  It's cute.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  It's cute, you know what I mean?

• 1:04:51Matt Farah?

  There's a lack of whimsy in today's world, and I'm glad that fucking BMW of North Dallas is here to deliver.

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  They were like, "Put the bow on it, distract him from the rest of the fucking car."

• 1:05:04Matt Farah?

  Eyes up, eyes up.

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  Just make him look at the red shit.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  It's a misdirect.

• 1:05:08Matt Farah?

  Don't look at the lust, eyes up. The roof, god, isn't that roofline beautiful?

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  It's beautiful, that roofline's amazing.

• 1:05:14Matt Farah?

  Let's talk about that B-pillar. Wow. Wow. Have you seen that Hoffmeister kink?

• 1:05:20Matt Farah?

  Thank you. One more, and then it's time to drink a lot more alcohol. Uh, Zach, give me...

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 1:05:31Matt Farah?

  Okay, I need a fucking explanation.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:05:35Matt Farah?

  This is apparently a car that didn't quite die at the last demolition derby. Uh, it's a Fox body, it's had several lives, it's tall, it's a convertible, and who belongs to this fucking shitbox?

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 1:05:50Matt Farah?

  Way in the back, way in the back. This is, is this a gambler car?

• 1:05:55Matt Farah?

  Turned into a gambler car? Was it like a Lemons race car first?

• 1:06:02Matt Farah?

  Alright, I don't know, I don't know what's hap- there's drama on the upper deck.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 1:06:06Matt Farah?

  Rich people shit, let them go, we're talking here. They, fucking high society up there can have it, you know what I'm saying? So, tell me about the last three years of life of this car.

• 1:06:20Matt Farah?

  Just one year? Oh wow, so the, it, it found heroin in, in that one year, and it's really, it's really starting to fall apart.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  It's selling its fenders for something.

• 1:06:30Matt Farah?

  Have you guys ever seen a human doing the fentanyl fold?

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  That's the car equivalent.

• 1:06:35Matt Farah?

  Ever seen a car do it?

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  It's the car equivalent.

• 1:06:37Matt Farah?

  That's this. This is the fentanyl fox.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Did you build this, or did you buy it like this?

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  Mufflers? Wait, what? What? What? I caught stealing what?

• 1:06:50Matt Farah?

  I bought it from my buddy who got caught stealing

• 1:06:54Matt Farah?

  tomahawk steaks.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  What? In New York? That's the greatest crime I've ever heard of.

• 1:07:00Matt Farah?

  The meat thief.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  You're free here. There's cows. Just go carve one off. That's amazing.

• 1:07:04Matt Farah?

  Habibi, is there a better getaway car for stealing fucking meat? This is a cattle rustling car. That's what this fucking is, bro.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  But it's not just regular steaks. He specialized in tomahawk steaks. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Is that the diamond heist of the steak game?

• 1:07:21Matt Farah?

  Because the dollars per pound on a ribeye just ain't there, right? Because with tomahawk, you get to sell the bone too, right? Can I ask you a question? You guys have never stolen steaks. Okay, sorry.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  I'll ask you a question. Where did he steal the tomahawk steaks from?

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  He was at a Mexican resort?

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  Wait, how, how many? He sold two or like? I'm imagining a hundred.

• 1:07:46Matt Farah?

  He sold fifteen hundred dollars of tomahawk steaks? In a Mexican resort. Yo.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  That is a stone felony.

• 1:07:51Matt Farah?

  Don't do crimes in Mexico.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  That's, that's amazing.

• 1:07:54Matt Farah?

  Do you guys know about, like, I'm gonna give you a little lesson on crime real quick. Just so you know, there's a rule of life and then we're gonna end the show. Because we'll end it on education.

• 1:08:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, no, I'm sure.

• 1:08:03Matt Farah?

  It came up earlier today, actually. It's something that I repeat to myself every day. If you live the podcast a lot. It's called one crime at a time. Okay? You chuckle. This is very important. Nobody gets caught doing one crime. It's where you stack the crimes. You read the charges of the fucking thing. It's thirty-seven counts and you're like, "Well, fucking all I did was do this." And it's like, "Well, yeah, but you were fucking doing this and this and this also." It's like, "If I had only done the one crime, it was okay." So, that is probably multiple crimes.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Tomahawk steaks?

• 1:08:37Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  Crossing state lines?

• 1:08:38Matt Farah?

  Yeah, in Mexico?

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  It's a Rico case.

• 1:08:40Matt Farah?

  There's definitely problems.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  That's a Rico. That's the latest crime in the world.

• 1:08:45Matt Farah?

  Like, if you're, if you're smoking a blunt, keep it to the limit, right? Like, obvious shit. Like, if you're, if you're doing the duffle shuffle, make sure your taillights are there. You know what I mean? Like, one crime at a time. That's, that's how we...

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  That line of criminal thinking, though, really explains this car. Yeah. It really adds up now, yeah. That's the car of a guy who gets busted stealing fifteen hundred dollars of tomahawk steaks.

• 1:09:05Matt Farah?

  The problem is when the car is the crime, you can't do any...

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's it. No other crimes.

• 1:09:10Matt Farah?

  There's no crime left for you to do.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  Don't speed. Check your blinkers.

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  Putting the fucking quarter panels back on it. I mean, you know what I mean?

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  Profiling's a problem, but sometimes you kinda side with the cop, you know?

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  You know what? He was right. He was totally right the whole time. He really was.

• 1:09:29Matt Farah?

  He's kinda brown, but did you see the car?

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Sir, you've got snake eyes on the grill of your car, sir, and no fenders.

• 1:09:38Matt Farah?

  Wow.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  And a trunk full of tomahawk steaks coming across the border.

• 1:09:43Matt Farah?

  Yeah. Can you open the trunk, sir? Uh, listen, I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna find in there, but it's gonna be weird. It's good with, if I don't explain it to you first, you're gonna think this is really strange. I was at this resort in Mexico, and I had like 37 marks, and they pushed out the cart with all these tomahawks on it.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  1500.

• 1:10:05Matt Farah?

  It really seemed like they were for me, and

• 1:10:10Matt Farah?

  and if they're not, like, I don't know about it, but like, I'm pretty sure they were.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  They said all-inclusive.

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  And, your honor.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  But if I may, I really, I don't know anything about tomahawk steak crime, so I just have a couple more questions. How many steaks are in 1500 dollars? Because I don't have a, you know what I mean? Like, I don't actually have an eyeball on like how many that would be. How many steaks?

• 1:10:37Speaker 02

  They're very fancy steaks. Well, clearly, how many?

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  Two?

• 1:10:41Matt Farah?

  If it turns out this story is one goddamn 1500 dollar tomahawk, I'm gonna be so mad.

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  They stole it from Monarch, and they marked it up.

• 1:10:48Matt Farah?

  It was, it was assault, babe.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  10, 10 steaks.

• 1:10:52Matt Farah?

  That's fucking awesome. Well, listen, 10 stolen tomahawks is a fucking good place to end. Thank you guys so much for coming to see us tonight.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  You're great.

• 1:11:07Matt Farah?

  We really appreciate you guys so much for coming out and supporting us tonight. This is our, this is the second time we've ever sold tickets to our podcast and last night was the first, so I don't think it was a total shit show. You guys think it went alright? Yeah. Alright, cool. Great.

• 1:11:29Matt Farah?

  One more time for Christian James Hand, please.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  Appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you.

• 1:11:36Matt Farah?

  I firmly, I firmly believe his show is better than our show. I love listening to everything he does. It's too bad you have to do it in person, but that's the way, that's our analog life going forward.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  There it is.

• 1:11:49Matt Farah?

  Zach and I are gonna be over at the merch booth for like a half hour, but like Matt Bell said, we then have to go up to the members lounge and hang out with members. If you buy a membership today, that includes you. But please, please support us. We did come a long way to get here, so we got shirts, hats, signed posters. Everything is like way cheaper than it would be on the website if you buy it, so we really do appreciate it. And we really do appreciate every single one of you for making the time for us tonight.

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:17Matt Farah?

  It's a long night, and we want to thank the shop and all the staff here for having us. And if you're staying to party, stay to party, and if you are going home, please drive safe.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  One crime at a time. One crime at a time. Peace.