MBMBaM 752: A Complex Story About Beans

We’re celebrating our most gruntable season yet by crafting cool sentences with all the sounds. Wanna know how to join the Donut Club, or Phil’s Inner Circle? The hit play right now, because this is when we do our jobs. Suggested Taking Points: I Am Doctor Chomp, A Huge Influx of Groundhogheads, Skin That Smokewagon, Incidental Beatles Pizza Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:20Speaker 01

  One, two, three. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapid into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome. My brother, my brother, me and advice for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother.

• 1:14Griffin McElroy?

  This is untenable.

• 1:16Travis McElroy?

  What up, Travis Nation? Vroom, vroom. It's me, your middlest brother, Travis, big dog, Wolf Wolf McElroy.

• 1:22Griffin McElroy?

  This is Griffin. It sounds like you are trying to tell me a little secret.

• 1:28Travis McElroy?

  Oh, see, I thought you were drunk.

• 1:31Griffin McElroy?

  You're drunk and trying to tell me a little drunk secret.

• 1:34Travis McElroy?

  We're at like a family wedding kind of deal and you're drunk and you're like.

• 1:38Griffin McElroy?

  Here comes Uncle Justin.

• 1:40Travis McElroy?

  Oh, he's gonna tell us something about Aunt, Aunt, you know, Josephine, that everybody knows, but nobody talks about.

• 1:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:48Travis McElroy?

  Here comes Justin to tell us about it. I got.

• 1:50Travis McElroy?

  Okay, well, I got a root canal. And this is the time that they could get me in because there's an emergency because my mouth hurts so bad.

• 1:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:58Travis McElroy?

  And this is the time they could get me in. 11 o'clock.

• 2:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 2:03Travis McElroy?

  And that is the time that I have to, after that, do my brother, my brother me here.

• 2:08Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, so that's, that's where I start to run into issues.

• 2:11Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you something?

• 2:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:13Travis McElroy?

  This is the time I do my job. You know what I mean? Like, this is the time I do my job.

• 2:18Griffin McElroy?

  For sure, for sure.

• 2:19Travis McElroy?

  And this is the time when the professional-

• 2:20Travis McElroy?

  Justin, I can't believe that you would do your job and record my brother, my brother me at the same time. That kind of split focus?

• 2:28Griffin McElroy?

  That's weird.

• 2:29Travis McElroy?

  No, no, this is my job, Travis.

• 2:31Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 2:32Travis McElroy?

  This is my brother, my brother me. My brother, my brother me is my job.

• 2:35Griffin McElroy?

  So the thing is, and obviously there's nothing implicitly funny about making fun of the way someone talks. I want to say that out loud to acknowledge it. What I'm saying is that the time we record this show is and can be quite flexible. We're your brothers and we love you and we record this bad boy a good five days in advance, so.

• 2:56Travis McElroy?

  I love you too, man. Thank you so much.

• 2:57Griffin McElroy?

  But it feels, it feels to me like you were almost, you sent us a video from the car like, I'm fucked up, let's do this, baby.

• 3:04Travis McElroy?

  I wasn't. No, I wasn't.

• 3:06Griffin McElroy?

  It almost seemed like you wanted to do that, like you wanted to see what happens.

• 3:11Travis McElroy?

  On the job aspect of it, like if you were a pitcher and you had just gotten some kind of thing done to your arm that made your arm numb. And you're like, I put me in, coach, I'm ready to pitch.

• 3:22Griffin McElroy?

  Or if you were a podcaster and you accidentally glued a kazoo into your mouth and then you were like,

• 3:28Travis McElroy?

  Okay, but-

• 3:29Griffin McElroy?

  Our podcast doesn't go up for five days. I've got this kazoo in my mouth, we gotta roll, baby.

• 3:35Travis McElroy?

  If Wade Boggs pounds too many brewskis the night before and then the next morning-

• 3:39Travis McElroy?

  He calls it getting bogged down, please.

• 3:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:41Travis McElroy?

  And then next morning he's gotta go out and hit home runs, okay?

• 3:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:46Travis McElroy?

  That's when he does his job. Do you understand? 11:30 on Wednesdays is when I do my job.

• 3:52Travis McElroy?

  It's 12:15.

• 3:53Travis McElroy?

  The only, yeah, I had it a little late because of my root canal. I don't know if you heard, Trav.

• 3:59Griffin McElroy?

  I heard and continue to hear in your every word.

• 4:01Travis McElroy?

  It held me up a little bit because he was drilling into my tooth.

• 4:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm just saying.

• 4:05Travis McElroy?

  Hopefully a dentist, right?

• 4:07Griffin McElroy?

  Tomorrow, Friday juice for me, wide open, pal. I'm saying this bad, this baseball game can play anytime we want it.

• 4:15Travis McElroy?

  But the only reason to reschedule, there, there's only one reason is if I can't do my job. At the time I was supposed to do my job and Griffin, it's time to go to work.

• 4:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 4:27Travis McElroy?

  Trying to make the doughnut.

• 4:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Travis McElroy?

  If I didn't have to work right now, I'd do what I always do when I'm not working. I go to my kid's school and I pull him out. I say, I could teach them more than you, you people ever could. If I didn't have to do my job, I'd do my other job, take my kids out of school and teach them everything they need to know.

• 4:44Travis McElroy?

  Just then, I'm worried that you're.

• 4:45Travis McElroy?

  My kids are in school. That means I'm doing my job right now.

• 4:48Griffin McElroy?

  Right, right.

• 4:49Travis McElroy?

  So I, I'm worried that your, the numbing has moved beyond your like lip and mouth to like your brain. Are you okay?

• 4:57Griffin McElroy?

  The parts of your brain that exercise restraint.

• 5:00Travis McElroy?

  Okay, I mean, it was not the most pleasant experience.

• 5:05Griffin McElroy?

  So like any, dude, yeah.

• 5:07Travis McElroy?

  I guess I'm feeling a little shaken up, you know?

• 5:09Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, but I didn't, I also didn't Skype you guys into my vasectomy, right? Like, no matter how much we asked. I didn't make you a part of that.

• 5:18Travis McElroy?

  I think, I think the difference is.

• 5:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:22Travis McElroy?

  For the shows that you missed because of your vasectomy.

• 5:24Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 5:25Travis McElroy?

  This is when I.

• 5:27Griffin McElroy?

  You, no, no, no, don't say that to end that sentence. That ending doesn't end that sentence. You can't say because of the time you took off for your vasectomy, this is when I do my job.

• 5:37Travis McElroy?

  We only have so many.

• 5:38Travis McElroy?

  I'll say it, that was the choice that you made for you, right? You used your sick days on that.

• 5:43Griffin McElroy?

  The choice I made for me was to record the episodes.

• 5:45Travis McElroy?

  You used your sick days on that.

• 5:46Griffin McElroy?

  If I may, it was to record the episodes of the podcast that I would have done during vasectomy time at a different time. Do you know what I mean? That was the choice I made and I, you have made a different one today.

• 5:59Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Yeah, but I had, when I left.

• 6:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:06Travis McElroy?

  The, the tooth doctor.

• 6:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:08Travis McElroy?

  My tooth doctor, Doc, Dr. Trump, he said to me.

• 6:12Griffin McElroy?

  Hold on, what?

• 6:14Travis McElroy?

  Make him laugh to, to they. Well, you go out there and I did my job.

• 6:17Griffin McElroy?

  And then he took a big huff off of the nitrous that he had.

• 6:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:21Griffin McElroy?

  And he was like, you go out there, you did the same thing for them.

• 6:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. He said, he said, Justin, I'm feeling, I gotta be honest with you. I'm feeling kinda low. And I was like, that's too, I'm, I hate to hear that, Doc, Dr. Trump. And he said, just, I promised me like, I did my job, right?

• 6:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:35Travis McElroy?

  And I was like, yeah.

• 6:35Griffin McElroy?

  And he said, this is, this is when I do my job, is what he said.

• 6:39Travis McElroy?

  He said, well, no, cause he had already done it at this point. He ate a cigarette.

• 6:43Griffin McElroy?

  Just now, just now is when I do my job.

• 6:46Travis McElroy?

  He had lit up, he had lit up in the office and he had been like, that was when I did my job.

• 6:50Griffin McElroy?

  He's ripping, hold on, he's, this dentist was ripping darts in his own office?

• 6:54Travis McElroy?

  I don't know if it's a dentist or not, cause my dentist won't do the root canal. So I don't know if this guy's like a different guy.

• 7:00Griffin McElroy?

  Are they afraid of it?

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  It was cosmetic. It was, uh.

• 7:05Griffin McElroy?

  A cosmetic root canal?

• 7:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:07Travis McElroy?

  I was having some, some neon.

• 7:09Griffin McElroy?

  Elective.

• 7:10Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:11Griffin McElroy?

  Well, you just had, you had ugly roots before. I think we can all agree.

• 7:14Travis McElroy?

  You gotta get your roots done.

• 7:15Griffin McElroy?

  Your gnarled tooth roots.

• 7:18Travis McElroy?

  Do you think there's ever a time when like, Dr. Trump goes to like the therapist and he's like, and my tooth hurts so bad, I can't laugh. And the therapist is like, well, you gotta go see this amazing dentist. His name is Dr. Trump. And he says, but doctor, that's the problem.

• 7:33Griffin McElroy?

  But doctor.

• 7:34Travis McElroy?

  I am Dr. Trump.

• 7:35Travis McElroy?

  I am Dr. Trump, yeah. I mean, it's haunting, Travis, just to hear you put it like that.

• 7:38Travis McElroy?

  It has to keep going up, right? Cause if you're the clown Pagliacci making the dentist laugh, okay, cool. Now who's taking care of the dentist's teeth? You know what I mean?

• 7:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:48Travis McElroy?

  Who, who tooth doctors the tooth doctors man, you know?

• 7:51Travis McElroy?

  Really, Travis, killer point, man, as always.

• 7:53Travis McElroy?

  We don't think about this, but we're, life is about community.

• 7:57Travis McElroy?

  Uh, I wanted to.

• 7:58Travis McElroy?

  It takes a village to take care of teeth.

• 8:01Travis McElroy?

  Um, Trav, do you want to speak on this? I see at the top of here, a, a Groundhog's Day update slash clarification. Is this a question or is this?

• 8:09Travis McElroy?

  Well, so we talked.

• 8:10Travis McElroy?

  Breaking news or what do we got here?

• 8:12Travis McElroy?

  Uh, a lot about Groundhog's Day, uh, a couple of weeks ago, round about Groundhog's Day. We got an update from Alexis who lives in Punxsutawney. Uh, first of all, telling us that the people of Punxsutawney by and large, uh, dislike Groundhog's Day because of the huge flux of groundhog heads who come in.

• 8:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 8:31Travis McElroy?

  And just fill up and take advantage of the city's, uh, small infrastructure, but.

• 8:37Travis McElroy?

  Did you say they take advantage or you say they hog it? Cause I'd say they, oh, man.

• 8:41Travis McElroy?

  Uh, but Alexis also shared, there are some very weird things about the holiday that I think you'd enjoy. Such as the inner circle fills closest group of pals who make sure he gets the elixir of life every year. So he can continue making his predictions. Also, to answer Teresa's question, cause we talked about it on Shreemers too. The inner circle doesn't have to guess if Phil sees a shadow. They ask him directly in groundhog ease, which only the president of the inner circle can understand. Phil and Phyllis have also recently become parents to two little groundhogs, Sunny and Shadow.

• 9:13Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I don't need to know about the groundhog's family. Everything else you said kicks ass.

• 9:18Travis McElroy?

  Well, as far as I know, only Phil and Phyllis get the elixir of life.

• 9:21Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. It's nice that they give them to both of them and it's not just Phil or Phyllis who then have to watch as spouses after spouses.

• 9:30Travis McElroy?

  Oh, you should listen to the musical on TikTok about this exact subject. Cause it is, it is heart wrenching. Um, listen, the, Alexis, I do have to, to quibble with one thing. Everyone hates and Punxsutawney hates that everybody comes in to like see the groundhog and do all the groundhog stuff. And then you're like, come closer. It is actually so cool and actually cooler than anybody knows about. Like, why are you trying to make it more appealing? Now I definitely, definitely want to come and see this crazy inner circle and everything.

• 10:01Travis McElroy?

  I don't know what the nightlife scene is in Punxsutawney, but I bet if you're in Phil's inner circle, you own that town.

• 10:10Griffin McElroy?

  You run that shit. You will never, you will never buy your own weed if you're part of the inner circle. No way. Someone's got you.

• 10:19Travis McElroy?

  How do you think you learn how groundhog ease? You know, you gotta reach a higher plane.

• 10:23Griffin McElroy?

  That would be cool if this person, this elected official, I guess, I did have a sort of cult of personality about them. Like, yeah, man, one day I ascended the mountaintop. I claimed the great power within and now I can speak to groundhogs, so.

• 10:41Travis McElroy?

  But you know that every time that happens, like that, that elected official knows that like, he is still living in the, let's call it what it is, shadow of a great man that like, yeah, he's high up there and he's wielding the power, but he is the right hand to the true king.

• 10:59Griffin McElroy?

  To the real, yeah, to the real.

• 11:00Travis McElroy?

  The groundhog. There must be a moment when that elected official goes to pull Phil out of whatever hut they keep him in, so that he doesn't.

• 11:08Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think they yank, I just, do they yank him?

• 11:10Travis McElroy?

  They freeze him, I think. I think they freeze him. I think they freeze him.

• 11:15Travis McElroy?

  Between?

• 11:16Travis McElroy?

  Between the days, because they've had the same guy going for a long time.

• 11:19Griffin McElroy?

  That's the elixir of life.

• 11:20Travis McElroy?

  The elixir of life keeps him eternal. But there must be a moment when he goes to pull him out where he thinks like, this bastard, I could, oh, he's gonna, he's gonna take all the limelight for me. But I need him. Oh, but I wish I didn't need him. I'm so jealous and I love him so much at the same time.

• 11:36Griffin McElroy?

  That's the thing, because he can speak groundhog ease, this, the elected, um, groundhog conduit, uh, knows that Punxsutawney Phil is a, a real shithead, a real problematic fave, and he wants nothing more than to throw him right on the ground anytime he pulls him out.

• 11:53Travis McElroy?

  Um, but no one would believe him.

• 11:55Griffin McElroy?

  If you guys understood some of the shit that Punks and Tony, they pull him out of that hole and he immediately starts screaming just the worst stuff you've ever heard or imagined.

• 12:02Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, you took, uh, three years of Groundhog Eats in high school, right? Would you say you're fluent?

• 12:08Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, I took three years in high school and I took one double credit AP class in college, um, which they don't usually offer those. And so, yeah, I mean, I can speak, I can, I can read it, but I can't speak it, which sucks because they definitely can't write.

• 12:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. If you found yourself, like, if you woke up right now in the middle of like a groundhog complex of tunnels, you think you could find your way out?

• 12:31Griffin McElroy?

  I get out of it. Yeah, yeah.

• 12:32Travis McElroy?

  You're with the way you remember.

• 12:33Travis McElroy?

  You gotta hand it to us, right? A lot of shows don't have the guts to go on a full protracted groundhog run, a full calendar month after Groundhog Day has passed. But you can't come to us here in March. We are still gonna be on about groundhogs.

• 12:49Travis McElroy?

  That's the thing. Uh, Christmas has a long lead up, but Groundhog Day has a long tail. You know what I mean?

• 12:55Griffin McElroy?

  Ironic.

• 12:56Travis McElroy?

  You gotta remember it.

• 12:58Travis McElroy?

  Maybe if we brought him up a bit more, there'd be a bit of accountability.

• 13:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:03Travis McElroy?

  Maybe if we remembered him in April and we're like, huh, this is weird. It doesn't exactly line up with what you were talking about. Let's check in in May. What do you think, Phil?

• 13:10Travis McElroy?

  Or why don't we let him predict other things?

• 13:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, please, God.

• 13:14Travis McElroy?

  Why are we just asking him about that one time of year? Like, is there gonna be more winter or not? Right? Like, we all agree on his prognostication abilities and yet we're not asking him about global markets. We're not asking him about, uh, you know, anything related to like, hey, what's the future look like? Do we need to get on this problem? How are we? And he's just like, ask me about winter, boys.

• 13:37Griffin McElroy?

  Justin is just looking more and more impressed with how much meat we've carved off this

• 13:42Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, in March.

• 13:43Griffin McElroy?

  Old stinky bone.

• 13:45Travis McElroy?

  In March.

• 13:46Travis McElroy?

  I want to ask you a question, just for old time's sake. Longtime transgender listener, first time question asker. I'm gonna be on testosterone soon and plan on doing a weekly vlog where I talk about the changes happening in my body. One I'm really looking forward to is my voice lowering. Here's my conundrum. I want a cool sentence to be able to say each week to measure how my voice changes. I thought about doing a sentence every, um, fi- fi- Phoneme, like the sound, it's like the sound.

• 14:15Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 14:15Travis McElroy?

  But they all sound lame. So I'm coming to the coolest men I know about. I just need a cool sentence, preferably with lots of sounds. That's from trying to be a cool cat in Kentucky.

• 14:28Travis McElroy?

  Isn't that, what's the one, what's the ones that a quick, the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog?

• 14:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but that doesn't sound cool.

• 14:35Travis McElroy?

  That's typewriter.

• 14:36Travis McElroy?

  Oh yeah, cuz that has every letter in it. Yeah.

• 14:38Travis McElroy?

  That doesn't help.

• 14:39Travis McElroy?

  What's one with a lot of sounds?

• 14:40Travis McElroy?

  Well, you know what, Trav? Let me tell you. Let me see if I can find one real quick. Hold on.

• 14:47Travis McElroy?

  A lot of vowels would have to be in there, right? Like, oh man, the beans fell on my foot. Ow. Okay.

• 14:56Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, man, the be- hey, man, the beans fell on my foot.

• 15:03Travis McElroy?

  Are those your beans or our beans? Does it have to be just one sentence? Could it be a complex short story about beans and the ownership of them?

• 15:13Griffin McElroy?

  Um, maybe. Are you doing, are you good juice?

• 15:17Travis McElroy?

  He's Googling some phonemes.

• 15:18Travis McElroy?

  I told you guys those I was, what I was doing. So I thought we would wait for, I was trying to look up a sentence that has all of the phonemes in it. What?

• 15:27Griffin McElroy?

  And leave dead air?

• 15:29Travis McElroy?

  I said that I was doing it and you guys continued to.

• 15:31Griffin McElroy?

  It's just usually when we set up a bit as a question, we joke about the answer instead of saying.

• 15:36Travis McElroy?

  We don't do intense research.

• 15:39Griffin McElroy?

  Let me get on Encarta and even, no, no, no.

• 15:41Travis McElroy?

  They talked about how they were. They said the sentences were not cool. So I was curious what the sentences were and what we had to, to do better then.

• 15:51Travis McElroy?

  Well, then maybe we're coming at this from the wrong direction. Maybe we should start with.

• 15:54Travis McElroy?

  It feels that way.

• 15:55Travis McElroy?

  We should start with a cool sentence and then add sounds to it.

• 15:58Griffin McElroy?

  Add sounds to it. Make it.

• 16:00Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 16:01Griffin McElroy?

  But funny, in a funny way. Don't forget what Dr. Chomps.

• 16:04Travis McElroy?

  Car time, dude, that's ah.

• 16:08Travis McElroy?

  I I I I

• 16:11Travis McElroy?

  We can throw in it's car time, it's car time.

• 16:13Travis McElroy?

  Eh, car eh.

• 16:15Griffin McElroy?

  It's car time, baby dude.

• 16:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:18Griffin McElroy?

  Baby dude.

• 16:19Travis McElroy?

  Little man.

• 16:20Griffin McElroy?

  Baby dude.

• 16:21Travis McElroy?

  It are I'm little man, little man and.

• 16:26Travis McElroy?

  Baby man.

• 16:27Travis McElroy?

  Car time, man. That's it, I think. No, I think we're getting hung up on vowel sounds. Yeah. Those are some of them though. I mean, some I know.

• 16:38Griffin McElroy?

  We're getting into some pretty, we're getting into some pretty experimental audio right now.

• 16:42Travis McElroy?

  Man, if we only had a reference point, you know what I mean? If only we had a reference point for what we had to.

• 16:47Travis McElroy?

  Baby man, boot that shit up.

• 16:50Griffin McElroy?

  Boot that baby.

• 16:53Travis McElroy?

  Boot that nasty, boot that nasty trunk.

• 16:58Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, trunk, um.

• 17:00Travis McElroy?

  Uh, dundo, dundo, dundo.

• 17:02Griffin McElroy?

  Between this and our naming it two naming of the year episodes, this has been our most sort of gruntable season of my brother, my brother and me so far.

• 17:12Travis McElroy?

  I think maybe just the opening line from Tool Time might where I'm like, it's Tool Time with Tim and Al.

• 17:19Travis McElroy?

  It's Tool Time.

• 17:20Griffin McElroy?

  It's Tool Time. You know, it'd be great is you could learn every part of an a cappella song, maybe by like the Brown Derbies or something like that. You could do Joel's, you could do Joel's fucking Down Easter Alexa if, if you so choose. And you learn every part and you start with whichever one feels more comfortable. And then you'll hit these thresholds where it's like, okay, here I go. Down, uh, down, up, nope. It's time to move down a level and then all of a sudden.

• 17:47Travis McElroy?

  Just gradually harmonize with yourself over time.

• 17:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, then you can layer them together later.

• 17:51Griffin McElroy?

  You alto that, yes. And then when you come in, I mean, I don't know how deep, how deep it can possibly go, but I've heard some pretty deep voices in my time. You could get that good baby back ribs.

• 18:01Travis McElroy?

  Oh, Griffin.

• 18:02Travis McElroy?

  Baby back ribs is good.

• 18:03Travis McElroy?

  Oh, well, well, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back. Cause that gets like lower and I feel like you could kind of test the bounds a little bit. Like you start here.

• 18:10Griffin McElroy?

  Definitely.

• 18:11Travis McElroy?

  The Chili's baby back ribs. And then you go like. Burger King's old. Like bring it down. Take it how low you can go.

• 18:18Griffin McElroy?

  But I said, learn every part of an a cappella song. The first one in my mind was not the Chili's baby back ribs.

• 18:24Travis McElroy?

  That's the only one.

• 18:26Griffin McElroy?

  The one everyone knows.

• 18:27Travis McElroy?

  Ones are just, uh, just kind of iterations on that theme.

• 18:31Travis McElroy?

  Go goodbye my Coney Island baby. That's one. That is that one and baby big babes.

• 18:37Travis McElroy?

  I'm trying to think of like really cool, like hard ass lines from movies.

• 18:43Griffin McElroy?

  An acapella song? Unfortunately, I've.

• 18:45Travis McElroy?

  Well, that's Pitch Perfect. Something from Pitch Perfect.

• 18:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:48Travis McElroy?

  The only acapella movie I can think of.

• 18:51Travis McElroy?

  What's a, what's like Trav? What do you think is like a cool movie? Like, what's a cool movie?

• 18:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I can just see it. It doesn't have to be singing.

• 18:58Travis McElroy?

  Dog chasing cars is a good one. Do you want to see a magic trick?

• 19:02Travis McElroy?

  But it's not like notably like low voiced, right? Like I think you, it's like, maybe like a thing that's just pride fucking with you. Maybe you get some.

• 19:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 19:12Travis McElroy?

  Like something like that, some thing rains or, um.

• 19:16Travis McElroy?

  Uh, Claire, uh, Clancy Brown.

• 19:18Travis McElroy?

  Who's like a notably low voiced.

• 19:20Travis McElroy?

  Brown has a deep.

• 19:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, Clancy Brown. What's some of your favorite, um, uh, cortex lines from the Crash Bandicoot games?

• 19:28Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a good, that's a good question. How, how do you choose?

• 19:33Griffin McElroy?

  Definitely the one I have tattooed across my chest. Crash Bandicoot. Set that wampa fruit down. I'm so disappointed in you.

• 19:41Travis McElroy?

  That's the.

• 19:42Travis McElroy?

  That's a good one. There's a lot of sounds in there.

• 19:45Griffin McElroy?

  Have you seen that? That's, that might be it. Crash Bandicoot. Set that wampa fruit. Isn't one of them down.

• 19:58Travis McElroy?

  I'm very disappointed in you.

• 20:00Griffin McElroy?

  I'm very disappointed in you. Maybe it's a threat and you want to see, it's not just the timber. It's not just the pitch of the voice that is changing. The amount of sort of, sort of intense energy you're able to bring to it.

• 20:15Travis McElroy?

  Oh, the, oh, that's a good one from Tombstone. Johnny Ringo. You look like somebody walked over your grave.

• 20:22Travis McElroy?

  Ah, that's. Tombstone is always the greatest repository for like, I mean.

• 20:28Travis McElroy?

  Smoke that, what is it? Uh, skin that smoke wagon is another good one.

• 20:32Travis McElroy?

  Skin that smoke wagon. Yeah.

• 20:33Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 20:35Travis McElroy?

  So it's maybe the most befuddling way to tell someone to draw their gun that you could ever do. Like I think if you did not smoke wagon.

• 20:43Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't put that together until you said that. If I was in a Wild West duel with the, with the guy, with Val Kilmer, and he said that, I would be like, what? I would look around for the smoke wagon. What do you mean, dude?

• 20:55Travis McElroy?

  What do you mean?

• 20:57Travis McElroy?

  I got it. Oh, yeah. Oh, bow, bow, bow.

• 21:03Griffin McElroy?

  That's so good.

• 21:06Travis McElroy?

  It's the funnest thing to do with your mouth, basically. And you could do it at the beginning and end of every episode. And if you ran out of things to say in the middle, you could just like bust it out and everybody'd be pretty excited to get to hear it, I think.

• 21:16Travis McElroy?

  I like that. That's a good one.

• 21:17Travis McElroy?

  Ferris Bueller Day Off, always, always.

• 21:19Travis McElroy?

  Oh, is that what that is?

• 21:20Travis McElroy?

  It was Travis, actually, yeah.

• 21:21Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 21:22Griffin McElroy?

  You could get the guy from that song as a guest on your first episode.

• 21:26Travis McElroy?

  Crash Test Dummies?

• 21:28Griffin McElroy?

  Was it Crash Test Dummies who did the?

• 21:31Travis McElroy?

  No, I thought you were just talking, he's like a really low voice guy. I just thought you were talking about Crash Test Dummies out of nowhere. That was like really random.

• 21:43Griffin McElroy?

  Am I, am I losing my mind or have we done a contest on this very show to see which of the three of us can get the lowest on Baby Back?

• 21:50Travis McElroy?

  For if this episode's 752, we've done everything before.

• 21:53Griffin McElroy?

  I've done all of those.

• 21:54Travis McElroy?

  It's not about finding new things. It's about how do we revisit the questions we've already answered for ourselves?

• 22:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. It's beautiful, meditative and a kind of lazy.

• 22:05Travis McElroy?

  Questions can change, the questions are the same, it's the answers that get different.

• 22:09Travis McElroy?

  Are you saying we could just reuse the question?

• 22:11Griffin McElroy?

  It seems like you'd want it to be the other way around.

• 22:13Travis McElroy?

  It would make more grammatically and like from an oratorical perspective, it would be more satisfying to, to put it that way. But no, I don't think it works that way. I recently started a new job and within my first two weeks, several people there had birthdays. They're apparently a big birthday office and always bring in donuts to celebrate. I personally love donuts, but never ate any that were brought in because I felt anxious of the new job and nothing makes me more uncomfortable than eating in front of strangers. Fortunately, about a week later, my birthday came around. I showed to work expecting to be greeted with donuts, but found they had got me a coffee instead. My new coworkers proudly told me they had noticed I don't like donuts. Sorry, I missed a line here. Notice I didn't like donuts and very thoughtfully got me a coffee instead.

• 22:56Travis McElroy?

  I was so, it was so kind of them and they were so excited to have gotten me something that I liked, that I didn't want to correct them and I just played along. Now I'm getting more comfortable around them and they brought in more donuts today. I want to eat one, but I didn't know how to break it to them that I actually do like donuts. Brothers, how can I start eating donuts at work without seeming like I lied about being a donut hater? That's from Donut Lover's Dilemma. And man, this one doesn't feel like any fault of your own. A lot of times people come to us and we, we can tell them they've already messed up. I don't, this, this wasn't a mess up. Like this seems like an actual, people found like an actual new problem. This is not one that I've heard about before.

• 23:40Griffin McElroy?

  This is original.

• 23:41Travis McElroy?

  This is original. Good job.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  I think that there's a way to use this to actually be a benefit, beneficial in this situation. You're going, you're going to tell them the next time there's donuts, you're going to say, can I be honest, guys? I guess it's just that I've never tried donuts before.

• 23:58Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 23:59Travis McElroy?

  I've been too scared.

• 24:00Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. I haven't, I haven't had the right group of people to help me get through that journey. But if you guys want to do a little team building right now.

• 24:10Travis McElroy?

  I just don't know where to start with donuts. And, and then they're going to be so excited to share donuts with you. You're probably going to get more donuts than if you had just started eating donuts to begin with. Cause then you can have one donut and be like, I've been missing out my whole life. I could have been having this.

• 24:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:29Travis McElroy?

  And then they're going to be so excited to share donuts with you.

• 24:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. And you'll get to eat like a hundred donuts. You'll be living good. Can you, can you walk into the kitchen where the donuts are and pick one up and be like, oh, sweet hole buns? And then people are like, what? And you say, these are hole buns, the buns with holes in them.

• 24:48Travis McElroy?

  One of my favorite foods.

• 24:49Griffin McElroy?

  Bun holes, one of my favorite foods. And they're like, uh, that's donuts. And you say, this is donuts? I like this.

• 24:58Griffin McElroy?

  I like the, I thought these were whole buns. You're saying these are donuts? I like those a lot, actually.

• 25:06Travis McElroy?

  Uh, maybe you could go to someone the next time there's donuts and say, I was just curious who I paid the money to, to join your donut club. Then I'm assuming there's some sort of donut. I know, well, I was never invited, but I really, really like to get into donut club. So if I could sign up somewhere or something like that to, to get in on a donut.

• 25:24Travis McElroy?

  Or like, or like, so how much is it to eat a donut? I haven't had any cash with me.

• 25:29Travis McElroy?

  Try to buy one?

• 25:30Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:32Travis McElroy?

  I finally remembered to bring money on donut day. I have $3. Is it?

• 25:35Travis McElroy?

  Is that enough for a donut?

• 25:37Travis McElroy?

  Is that enough for a donut?

• 25:38Griffin McElroy?

  Do you take Apple Pay?

• 25:39Travis McElroy?

  They'll probably make you the boss.

• 25:40Griffin McElroy?

  You do, you do Apple Pay for donut?

• 25:43Travis McElroy?

  I can Ven, I can Venmo. I set it up a day.

• 25:46Travis McElroy?

  I have $2. Can you cut one in half?

• 25:51Griffin McElroy?

  What do you go for? What do you go for to give the appearance of your first donut? Cause the easy sell is you walk in and be like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna try eating a donut. And then you walk over. Do you go with one that has like?

• 26:04Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking.

• 26:04Travis McElroy?

  What if you, what if you like, maybe you try an eclair? And you're like, you know what? I liked this so much. Maybe I've been wrong about donuts this whole time. Like, I'm gonna give donuts another shot. Cause I like, I tried the eclair that you guys brought in and I actually like this. And if donuts are anything like eclairs, I think I could, could really get into it.

• 26:26Travis McElroy?

  Here's the problem though, Jay man. I think if you take a bite, you've never had donuts before in this cafe, right? And you take a bite of an eclair and you don't act at least a little shocked that there's something inside of it. That you're like, they didn't fully cook this one. It's raw in the middle. Look at it gooping out. You gotta, I think you'd have to play it up big to be surprised that there's stuff inside it.

• 26:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:49Travis McElroy?

  For them to buy the story.

• 26:51Griffin McElroy?

  Pick up a powdered sugar donut and by the end of it, be a mess. Be an absolute mess.

• 26:57Travis McElroy?

  Start coughing a lot.

• 26:58Griffin McElroy?

  And they'll be like, that has to be the first time that they have eaten a powdered donut. Cause there's some tech to it that you do need to, to practice.

• 27:07Travis McElroy?

  Pick up a powdered donut and ask them for a wet nap to clean it off so you could eat it. This one's all dusty. This one's all dusty. I think it's really old. Can we clean this donut off so I could try this one?

• 27:19Griffin McElroy?

  This donut's covered in small colorful pills and I don't know why I'd eat that. It seems like it would make me pretty sick. They're sprinkles.

• 27:29Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 27:30Travis McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 27:31Travis McElroy?

  I'm fired? Okay, yeah, I get it.

• 27:32Griffin McElroy?

  I am fired.

• 27:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:34Travis McElroy?

  This is a donut factory? Okay, cool, thank you.

• 27:38Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, before we go to the money zone, can we talk about some recent communicate we received from our father Clint McElroy? Uh, yeah.

• 27:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:47Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:48Griffin McElroy?

  Dad, my daddy's a gamer.

• 27:50Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:51Griffin McElroy?

  He may, maybe only just Elden Ring for the past three years or however long that game's been out, but he's a real gamer. He has all the video game consoles and Sunday night he texts the three of us and says, "Why does, do any of you know why this keeps happening to my Xbox?"

• 28:12Travis McElroy?

  Can I pause real quick, Griffin, before you keep going? You have to know context wise, we get texts like this about things, uh, related to computers and his tech setup constantly. This was intentional and sincere.

• 28:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, this wasn't, you know, this is, our dad is, is not pulling, uh, punks on us. This is a real thing that happened. Are you pulling it out?

• 28:36Travis McElroy?

  I think that if I have, hold on, I'm gonna see if I can, for posterity's sake.

• 28:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so exact wording here, "This keeps happening to my Xbox, any ideas?" And then the, the image that he did also send to us is the welcome splash screen for the PlayStation 5. It says at the top of the screen, "Welcome back to PlayStation 5." Um, it does say that on the screen.

• 29:04Travis McElroy?

  And then dad sends that image and it says, "This keeps happening to my Xbox, any ideas?"

• 29:11Travis McElroy?

  And even, there's nothing clearly indicated outside the fact that it's, uh, PlayStation on Xbox, that he could be talking about what's wrong.

• 29:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:21Travis McElroy?

  The issue is not immediately inherent.

• 29:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. What advice did he think we could give about your Xbox showing PlayStation shit?

• 29:31Travis McElroy?

  Uh, well, how close, how close is your Xbox to your PlayStation, man? It might be bleeding over.

• 29:37Griffin McElroy?

  Plug your phone.

• 29:37Travis McElroy?

  So cross contamination might be happening here.

• 29:39Griffin McElroy?

  Plug your phone into the Xbox. We will integrate with the systems and we're gonna patch through and update. That should get you taken care of.

• 29:49Travis McElroy?

  We're gonna need to get your little reboot guy in there and he's gonna take care of this right now.

• 29:55Griffin McElroy?

  Be a great prank to play on one of your Sony crony friends.

• 29:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:58Griffin McElroy?

  Or one of these fucking.

• 29:58Travis McElroy?

  Like you boot it up and it's like, oh my God. And then you rush to cover the screen like, oh no, no, but look.

• 30:03Griffin McElroy?

  I would never. But all your Sony crony buddies are there. They're kicking your ass. It's too late. They're already beating your ass into the ground.

• 30:12Travis McElroy?

  I should have followed up on this to see if that ever figured out what the problem was. We just kind of razzed on him and didn't ask what he meant. So I should have followed up.

• 30:19Travis McElroy?

  What if, what if it turns out that this was his Xbox and that's why he's so, he's reasonably perplexed by this question? And we were like, oh, you stupid dumb shit. And he's like, okay, then I don't know.

• 30:31Travis McElroy?

  This is the same guy that restarted Elden Ring like four times because it would just mysteriously like get deleted or something like.

• 30:39Griffin McElroy?

  I, I, I.

• 30:40Travis McElroy?

  It's untenable.

• 30:41Griffin McElroy?

  I understand struggling with tech stuff as you get older. It's already happening to me. There's some tech stuff that I'm like, I don't, I, I don't get it. But it is 2025. I feel like everyone should have gotten the net about the input function of the TV remote control. We have so many buttons on there that give you instantaneous access to TV channels, TV channels, TV chan- no one uses fucking any of those anymore. They use one button that makes it switch between all their other shit that they, so input button, that's gotta be on the, the freshman level curriculum, I feel like.

• 31:19Travis McElroy?

  I absolutely agree, Griffin. Hard to.

• 31:22Griffin McElroy?

  The only button. Only button.

• 31:24Travis McElroy?

  Hey, uh, let's, uh, let's take a brief break and then when we come back, we will do more of this. How's that sound?

• 31:31Travis McElroy?

  More of the same.

• 31:32Travis McElroy?

  But, but different.

• 31:33Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 31:35Griffin McElroy?

  And more.

• 31:36Travis McElroy?

  And more.

• 31:47Travis McElroy?

  You know, everybody, I'm ready to admit, it has been hard for me. And I'm just ready to admit it. I need glasses or some sort of corrective lenses to see.

• 31:58Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, Travis.

• 31:59Travis McElroy?

  I know. Yeah, people see me in glasses and they think, what a cool, stylish, fashionable person. But it's not.

• 32:08Griffin McElroy?

  Griffin walked out. Griffin walked out of the recording.

• 32:10Travis McElroy?

  He walked out when I said it. Yeah, when I said I have to wear glasses and he was like, my brother, a nerd? And he walked out. But I've been able to hide it all these years because when people see me wearing glasses, they're like, so stylish. So fabulous. It must be. That he is a stylish and fashionable person and not just someone whose eyes are shaped wrong. And his cones and rods are all messed up, but that's what it is. But thanks to Warby Parker, I can fix my vision and look good doing it. Because Warby Parker designs every frame in-house and their collection includes silhouettes, colors and fits made to suit every face, even my big old noggin.

• 32:50Travis McElroy?

  And you can shop, you can shop them online, at home, in stores, at over 250 retail locations across the US and Canada. Warby Parker glasses start at just $95 and include prescription lenses with anti-reflective, scratch-resistant coatings.

• 33:04Griffin McElroy?

  Are we talking about Warby Parker?

• 33:06Travis McElroy?

  We are.

• 33:07Griffin McElroy?

  I fucking love these guys. Wearing them now.

• 33:10Travis McElroy?

  These glasses look so slick. I almost makes me wish I didn't have perfect vision.

• 33:16Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay. Okay, it's not perfect, just different vision.

• 33:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Me and Travis didn't choose to have different vision and then record the podcast. Do you know what I mean?

• 33:28Travis McElroy?

  This, so this is a choice? You think I had a wisdom root canal for fun?

• 33:32Travis McElroy?

  And then immediately recorded a podcast every, yes.

• 33:35Griffin McElroy?

  That's the part, that's the part where the choice was made.

• 33:38Travis McElroy?

  The thing is, what the here is that this is when I do my job.

• 33:41Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 33:42Travis McElroy?

  This, I'm at work right now.

• 33:44Griffin McElroy?

  Do you want me, get, get started with Warby Parker's virtual try-on. You can try on glasses and sunglasses, seeing the realistic color, texture and size of each style right from home, right now. Or head over to warbyparker.com slash mybrother right now to take the home try-on quiz and pick five pairs of frames to try on at home for free. That's warbyparker.com slash mybrother, warbyparker.com slash mybrother.

• 34:07Travis McElroy?

  Justin, tell me about stamps. I'm old enough. I can handle it.

• 34:11Travis McElroy?

  You're ready for the truth? Well, I'm sorry Travis, but the mailman has not been taking the envelopes where I ask him to because he likes me so much. It's because I've been putting stamps on them. I've been cheating the system. I've been slipping him these little pieces of paper. In exchange, he will take the letter wherever I want to go.

• 34:30Travis McElroy?

  It's a life hack. I see.

• 34:31Travis McElroy?

  Cool. I know, but I found a way to make it even easier. I used to have to go to the post office or Big Bear to buy these things, but now I'm getting them at stamps.com. They handle all my shipping needs for me, Trav. They got USPS, UPS, and big savings, man. Like up to 88% off. How's that grab you?

• 34:49Travis McElroy?

  So I don't have to go to the Post Malone office just to get stamps anymore?

• 34:55Travis McElroy?

  No, no, you don't. You can just get them on the internet. They'll send you a scale. Post Malone office?

• 35:03Travis McElroy?

  Where are you going?

• 35:05Travis McElroy?

  What are you talking about?

• 35:06Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, I say his full name. I don't, I don't know him personally, so just calling him by his first name feels weird. So I like to use his full name.

• 35:13Travis McElroy?

  What do you guys think Post Malone's office looks like? How do you think he's decorated it? I'll tell you, if they're anything like his Oreos, they're fuck, it's a fucking, it's a little fucking.

• 35:24Travis McElroy?

  Well done. Hey, Mr. Malone, well done.

• 35:27Travis McElroy?

  Well done on your Oreos, Posty. We all had them backstage.

• 35:29Travis McElroy?

  I did. I was sick, but.

• 35:31Travis McElroy?

  Travis was sick, but I've had them and they're good. You did a good job.

• 35:34Travis McElroy?

  I was sick too, and the Post Malone Oreos made my health better.

• 35:38Travis McElroy?

  They didn't pay for this. You want to ship Post Malone Oreos, you can. You can ship whatever you want. You can do it for up to 88% off. Sign up at stamps.com and use the code MYBROTHER for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com. Use the code MYBROTHER.

• 35:59Speaker 05

  Who's ready for some science?

• 36:03Speaker 05

  With sources and nuance.

• 36:07Speaker 06

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 36:11Speaker 06

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 36:13Speaker 05

  Let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.

• 36:19Speaker 06

  From quantum physics to the history of swearing.

• 36:22Speaker 05

  As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 36:24Speaker 06

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 36:26Speaker 05

  Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hubber.

• 36:29Speaker 06

  And Tom Lum.

• 36:30Speaker 05

  So join us next time where we will learn about Everything.

• 36:38Speaker 07

  Hey, are you playing a video game right now?

• 36:41Speaker 06

  Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG. Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.

• 36:47Speaker 07

  Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.

• 36:49Speaker 06

  I'm Jason Schreier. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.

• 36:54Speaker 07

  A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 36:57Speaker 06

  Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.

• 37:02Speaker 07

  On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.

• 37:05Speaker 06

  And breaking news out of the video game industry. And we also talk about other stuff besides games. So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click. Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 37:20Griffin McElroy?

  You really put some stank on that one, man.

• 37:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 37:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 37:27Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 37:31Travis McElroy?

  I wanna munch.

• 37:33Speaker 06

  Squad!

• 37:33Griffin McElroy?

  Squad!

• 37:34Travis McElroy?

  Do, do, do, do. I want to munch, squad.

• 37:41Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast of the podcast. That's how the Beatles sound.

• 37:44Griffin McElroy?

  Oh! Oh, okay. I was about to say, the Munch Squad intro is, I think, a good thing to do to like, test out lower, newer voices. It has a lot of really cool stuff that you can do.

• 37:57Travis McElroy?

  It covers eight octaves. I, this is a different kinda, this is a different kinda one than what we would normally do, because it's normally we're profiling the sort of the movers and shakers in the fast food industry. And today, I just, I learned something a few weeks ago. And it's been going around in my head a lot, ever since I saw this like, this factoid being reported by my friend Fishboy on TikTok.

• 38:28Speaker 06

  Okay, hit us with it, Big Munch.

• 38:30Travis McElroy?

  Ready?

• 38:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:32Travis McElroy?

  Rango Stars never had pizza.

• 38:34Griffin McElroy?

  Wait.

• 38:36Travis McElroy?

  According to who?

• 38:38Travis McElroy?

  Ringo Starr, talking to Jimmy Kimmel, said with pizza, you don't know what you're putting in at half the time. He said he's never had a pizza.

• 38:50Griffin McElroy?

  Those two thoughts existing in the same head is, I've never had pizza and also you can't trust what people are putting in pizza these days. Those two thoughts seem insane to be held together in a, in a marriage, in a union.

• 39:08Travis McElroy?

  This is where I feel like I want to be, I, this is, he says about food sensitivities. So I understand that. And I feel like if any podcast has been at the forefront of food sensitivity acceptance, it is my brother, my brother and me. This is an absolute safe place for people with food intolerance.

• 39:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Did you see how he didn't do the tummy buddy time motto? Yeah, that was for that exact reason.

• 39:39Travis McElroy?

  Perfectly safe space, but so he says it's about onions and garlic and other spices that he's allergic to. And my man, just make one without that. It is, it is pizza, baby. Just make one.

• 39:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. It's a circle with sauce and cheese and you don't even honestly need those.

• 40:04Travis McElroy?

  It don't need to be circle. It don't gotta got sauce or cheese. It's the loosest conceptual arrangement of food.

• 40:12Travis McElroy?

  Do you guys ever find yourself like saying some, like an opinion or something without thinking about it? And it's a real bold and brassy thing where you're like, oh, I don't care for mustard. Like I hate mustard, right? And then people are like, oh man, really? Why? And then you think about it after you said it and you're like, I mean, I don't hate mustard. But now you're like locked in and you said it. Is it possible that Ringo Starr was thinking about like, he couldn't remember the last time he had pizza?

• 40:41Griffin McElroy?

  And came out wrong?

• 40:43Travis McElroy?

  Hey, let me help.

• 40:45Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, okay. Good.

• 40:46Speaker 08

  I'd do it in a second. The fans will dig it. They've waited long enough. I've just got to get the other lads to agree.

• 40:56Speaker 08

  I think I can convince them.

• 40:57Travis McElroy?

  I'll say. Lads, the time has come.

• 41:00Speaker 08

  Sweet or pizza, crust first. Did I dare to go? Stop crust pizza from pizza hut with cheese baked in it.

• 41:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, hmm.

• 41:09Speaker 08

  You'll want to eat it crust first, now with free garlic dipping sauce. Wrong lads, large designer.

• 41:16Travis McElroy?

  So, yeah, that's a pretty-

• 41:17Griffin McElroy?

  That's the fucking wildest thing I've ever seen.

• 41:20Travis McElroy?

  But he doesn't take a bite!

• 41:24Griffin McElroy?

  He doesn't take a bite of the pizza.

• 41:25Travis McElroy?

  He doesn't take a bite! That's 100% true, but like, Rango? What are you selling me, dude?

• 41:31Griffin McElroy?

  What are you selling me?

• 41:32Travis McElroy?

  That was-

• 41:32Griffin McElroy?

  You can't, the whole thing of your commercial can't be, gotta get the lads back together, when two of the lads are dead.

• 41:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's why I can begin with. At this point, I think just one lad would be dead. But you are right that he was quite dead.

• 41:48Griffin McElroy?

  You're still not getting-

• 41:48Travis McElroy?

  He died a month to the day after I was born, so I know he was dead.

• 41:51Travis McElroy?

  All I'm saying is, if you review the footage, he never takes a bite of the pizza.

• 41:56Travis McElroy?

  He didn't eat any of the pizza.

• 41:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Travis, I 100% agree with that, and I'm not trying to be like, gotcha, you did take a bite. And because this is what, what, what, uh, Fishboy said in his TikTok too, which is very true. It, it is him endorsing pizza.

• 42:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yes, the idea.

• 42:12Travis McElroy?

  As a concept, he is saying like-

• 42:14Griffin McElroy?

  Pizza's got my seal of approval, mine, I love pizza.

• 42:19Travis McElroy?

  And now he's telling Jimmy like, you don't know if pizza's really messed up, I won't eat. Just-

• 42:24Griffin McElroy?

  What a nasty impre- what a nasty impression that was.

• 42:27Travis McElroy?

  Yes, a hateful-

• 42:27Griffin McElroy?

  What a nasty thing to not eat pizza, Griffin.

• 42:28Travis McElroy?

  A spiteful impression, I would say, Justin.

• 42:30Griffin McElroy?

  A spiteful, nasty spirited impression.

• 42:32Travis McElroy?

  Can I say though, it's normally much more open-hearted, but I, the, there's the numbness.

• 42:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:39Travis McElroy?

  It's, I've lost some of the lip control.

• 42:40Travis McElroy?

  Did he say that he was allergic to things in the pizza? Or just say, you don't know what's in there?

• 42:46Travis McElroy?

  The reporting from People Magazine is-

• 42:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:49Travis McElroy?

  I'm alert, I've never had a pizza, or a curry. I'm allergic to several items. With pizza, you don't know what you're putting in it half the time, or the curry. So I'm pretty strict with myself, because it makes me ill immediately.

• 43:03Griffin McElroy?

  I fully understand that. I fully, fully get that. But curry is, again, a pretty loose food zone that you could-

• 43:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man. But I could believe that because the thing is a pizza that I try to wrap my mind around. The number of times that I have been places or events or hang out with people. And by no action of my own, there has suddenly been pizza there and I'm eating it without really thinking about it. And here was a young man who must have done so many, as I believe they're called, gigs. At different places in like the sixties touring around doing things.

• 43:45Griffin McElroy?

  Throwing, throwing pizzas at the Beatles.

• 43:47Travis McElroy?

  Ah, this is what I'm saying. There must have been so much incidental pizza in the Beatles' experience.

• 43:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:54Travis McElroy?

  That you're telling me at every turn, he was consciously avoiding it even from a young age to be like, "I don't know what shit's in there."

• 44:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:04Travis McElroy?

  And, and listen, he did a lot of drugs with all the other guys, right? The guys did a lot of drugs. And we're really certain that at no point.

• 44:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:15Travis McElroy?

  Anybody was like, "Guys, it's 3 a.m. right? I just got this new thing from the States. They're calling it pizza."

• 44:24Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, Mick Jagger's there?

• 44:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, me and Keith love it. You boys gotta try it too.

• 44:30Griffin McElroy?

  Holy shit. Hello, it's me, David Bowie. Have you heard of the American invention of pizza? It's quite-

• 44:38Travis McElroy?

  And I'm Andy Warhol.

• 44:42Travis McElroy?

  Aflac. I love this shit. You gotta eat it.

• 44:47Griffin McElroy?

  Well, it's quite luxurious, isn't it?

• 44:50Travis McElroy?

  And listen, I know we got, we got people from all over the, the spectrum of neurodivergence who listen to and create these programs. And I want to say, I know there's other reasons that people avoid food. He didn't fucking say that. He said he's allergic. So I'm saying, make pizza without the things that you're allergic to, Ringo. Please, for the love of God. At this point, the man's in his eighties. It's just to keep the streak alive. And I'm saying, get one in there, R- Ringo.

• 45:18Griffin McElroy?

  If he puts up down a piece of bread and puts down some sort of- Alumina free red sauce on there and like a slice of of cheddar. And then he puts that in the toaster oven for a minute and a half on blast. And then takes that and eats it. Can we say Ringo, you've you've done it? You've done it. Now you've had pizza. You've done it.

• 45:43Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 45:43Griffin McElroy?

  That's all it is.

• 45:44Travis McElroy?

  But okay, can I can I make my stance clear here, boys? Yeah, please. If he had said in this interview, I the first time I tried pizza, I had a severe allergic reaction to it and I've never eaten it again. I would say 100%.

• 46:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:00Travis McElroy?

  I believe that that's true.

• 46:02Griffin McElroy?

  Fool me once pizza, shame on

• 46:04Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 46:05Griffin McElroy?

  You, but

• 46:06Travis McElroy?

  But the idea that without ever trying pizza, he's just always, always had the awareness of like, I will never

• 46:16Griffin McElroy?

  Not for, I will not ever eat pizza, ever.

• 46:21Travis McElroy?

  That's

• 46:21Travis McElroy?

  And it's also, I think, an interesting, if we can send jokes out of the room for a second. I think it's also an interesting example of the role that privilege can play in our lives. Right? Because if I had tried to live a pizzaless existence, I wouldn't have made it through the past week without it causing severe strife in my friends and family. How? It would have been a major issue, like almost immediately.

• 46:46Griffin McElroy?

  How how challenging would life be? If you were like Ringo Starr and and for Ringo Starr, every pizza is a tombstone pizza.

• 47:02Travis McElroy?

  I'm not gonna, let's read another question because like legitimately, we're not gonna say anything funny.

• 47:07Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 47:08Travis McElroy?

  Than that.

• 47:09Travis McElroy?

  We might have never said anything funny of him.

• 47:11Travis McElroy?

  The my D and D group wants to start hanging out outside of campaign sessions, which is great. Problem is they want to do an escape room. All of them are reportedly very good at the activity. Our DM even used to work in an escape room. Brothers, I am terrible at escape rooms. So I guess the thing I'm asking for is escape room hacks to impress my friends. Failing that, how do I keep my cool and have a good time? That's from No Sherlock in New Hampshire.

• 47:37Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, boy.

• 47:38Travis McElroy?

  You know what's unappreciated in escape room group dynamics?

• 47:41Griffin McElroy?

  What's that Travis?

• 47:42Travis McElroy?

  The hype person.

• 47:44Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 47:45Travis McElroy?

  The person who's-

• 47:46Griffin McElroy?

  There's a lot of it, yes.

• 47:47Travis McElroy?

  A lot of morale management that does- Well, cause everyone you do in an escape room, everybody wants to be the hero. Everybody wants to put the pieces together. Everybody wants to do the final twist of the thing. Having somebody who's like, "You're solving the shit out of that puzzle, Derek," would be amazing.

• 48:03Griffin McElroy?

  I could never do what you'd- no, I wouldn't like that. I need someone to get in there when I get too cranky because I'm stumped, but I don't want to hint.

• 48:10Travis McElroy?

  Oh, somebody who brought Gorp to keep your blood sugar levels up, maybe?

• 48:14Griffin McElroy?

  Snacks would be good, yeah. I'll never say no to that.

• 48:17Travis McElroy?

  I have a, I have a kind of a patented escape room system, right? And I, and I would, I would highly recommend it. I am, I do not break the bank intellectually speaking. And I, I'm in circles of people that run circles around me.

• 48:31Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, sorry.

• 48:31Travis McElroy?

  What? Of, hey.

• 48:33Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, what you're talking about? We all have our strengths, right? I can bake and do what's, like, whatever, you know, like-

• 48:38Travis McElroy?

  And like, I'm physically strong and incredibly intelligent.

• 48:41Travis McElroy?

  And charismatic and a go-getter, don't forget.

• 48:45Travis McElroy?

  And I- And good at escape rooms. And I'm-

• 48:50Travis McElroy?

  You're dependable.

• 48:52Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a huge, that's a huge skill. Uh, but anyway, the, at the escape rooms, I'm not a smart person, so I kind of hang back, right? And I'm watching-

• 49:01Travis McElroy?

  Not a very nice person either.

• 49:03Travis McElroy?

  I was kidding about that, Griffin. You're like super smart. Like, you guys both do a good job. I hang back. I'm like kind of a sniper and I look like I'm like thinking about all of it.

• 49:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:13Travis McElroy?

  And then I wait for my moment when something maybe occurs to me and I don't say anything, right?

• 49:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:20Travis McElroy?

  And then eventually I'll do like one thing and it'll seem like-

• 49:24Travis McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 49:25Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? Like, I've just been waiting for it, but the thing is, I'm actually not computing anything that is happening. I'm just kind of like looking at where the action is. And just kind of like being happy that people can figure it out because it's I can't keep up with.

• 49:39Travis McElroy?

  That's very good. You could also, if you end up finding a black light, a little black light flashlight, being the black light person.

• 49:46Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a good one. Or write down person.

• 49:47Travis McElroy?

  Or write down person, solid. Hold the flashlight person. Um, be the person who goes, did we ever figure out what's going on with this key? Right? Just like keep reminding everybody all the things you haven't figured out yet.

• 50:00Travis McElroy?

  I will tell you guys honestly, but I spent a lot of time in escape rooms doing it. I'm a big organize the props that were already used. And I like to put them into like used and not used piles, you know, I like to sort the piles. I could do that. I like to sort in piles, you know, I can remember which things we've used and not used.

• 50:18Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of, um, a lot of places won't tell you this and, but they don't like screen for it or anything. But you can bring some props with you that if it turns out is part of the thing, like bring a powerful magnet. Bring a black light. Bring, bring some bolt cutters. Bring an airsoft gun. Bring a compass. Bring.

• 50:40Travis McElroy?

  A big drill.

• 50:41Travis McElroy?

  A drill, like a knife to get out of a place.

• 50:44Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, your own door.

• 50:46Griffin McElroy?

  Bring some C4 charges to blow the door. Bring five cans of different sizes. And a container of water.

• 50:54Travis McElroy?

  One thing that I, I might try is you stand near the door. There's usually a light switch there, right? And a lot of times in these escape rooms, the lights go off and a secret is revealed. So what I would do is wait till halfway through the escape room when no one is thinking about it. Be like, hey, guys, what about this? And then you flip the lights off, right? If there's a secret revealed.

• 51:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:15Travis McElroy?

  Brilliant. Turn the lights back on. Everybody's like, oh my God, how'd you do it? If there's no secret, you just open the door and leave.

• 51:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:22Travis McElroy?

  You're gone, right? The lights are off and you disappear because you can't.

• 51:26Travis McElroy?

  Now there's a new mystery.

• 51:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you're embarrassed. You don't want to stay there. So you leave.

• 51:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you could also try to convince them that they've actually been in an escape room for a really long time, longer than they think they have been since they walked in. So you could say like, you know, you're all trying to stop the bomb from Dr. Blood Knife. And you can be like, everyone's stumped and you'd be like, guys, I think that we've been in Dr. Blood Knife's hideout since we entered this building. And the person working outside who told us not to smash all the furniture and smash all the lights and absolutely tear all the wires out of the wall was one of Dr. Blood Knife's minion, or perhaps Dr. Blood Knife himself. So we need to start demolishing this place because that was a feint, that was a, that

• 52:13Griffin McElroy?

  was a lie, and it's time for us to get serious about it.

• 52:16Travis McElroy?

  I think the most heartbreaking part of Dr. Blood Knife's backstory is how his intention was to like, do good and like work with like Doctors Without Borders and stuff. But then anytime anything evil would happen, they'd be like, well, it must be Blood Knife. His name's Blood Knife. And he's like, that's just my name. That's just a family name.

• 52:34Griffin McElroy?

  That's what made him so nasty and made him set up the bomb.

• 52:37Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, eventually he had to be evil because of that.

• 52:40Griffin McElroy?

  And you're in an experiment, you are in an experiment of one of Dr. Blood Knife's experiments.

• 52:46Travis McElroy?

  And the way to escape is kindness, to have some faith in humanity and believe that Dr. Blood Knife isn't responsible for it. And that's the real escape is through Jesus Christ.

• 52:57Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, did not expect that term.

• 53:00Travis McElroy?

  Get him safe, slip the cashier a twatski and be like, can I get some Nintendo Power Helpline on Escape from Dr. Blood Knife?

• 53:10Travis McElroy?

  The person who breaks the hint kind of barrier, because everybody wants to ask for all the hints all the time, but they don't want to be the person who says, should we get a hint? And being the person who is both strong enough, but willing to appear weak enough to say like, I think we should get a hint.

• 53:26Travis McElroy?

  Travis, that's so funny you say that. I have never heard someone ask for a hint where the tone is anything other than like, I'm kind of getting a vibe in the room. Like, we're starting to kind of maybe want to get a hint. Like, no one's ever like, I don't know. I was not, I don't know.

• 53:44Travis McElroy?

  I'm way behind. I'm lost.

• 53:47Travis McElroy?

  I got nothing figured out.

• 53:49Travis McElroy?

  I'm getting tired and cranky.

• 53:51Griffin McElroy?

  You could establish yourself as like the hint controller and you stand in front of the hint button and you say, if you want a hint, you're going to have to fight me for it. And then people are really going to feel like-

• 54:04Travis McElroy?

  The bully, the bully of the-

• 54:05Griffin McElroy?

  The bully of the group. And then that way, people are gonna feel like-

• 54:08Travis McElroy?

  We're so close.

• 54:08Griffin McElroy?

  We really need to grind on this. We can't, I don't want to have to fight our friend in order to get the hint.

• 54:14Travis McElroy?

  But what they don't know is you, you're just leaning back against the button every 10 seconds and then you're whispering out whatever you hear.

• 54:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 54:21Travis McElroy?

  Right? And you're like, I think it's this guy's. And they're like, whoa, Derek knows everything about this thing.

• 54:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 54:27Travis McElroy?

  But you, you got an inside man.

• 54:29Travis McElroy?

  Hey, thank you so much-

• 54:30Travis McElroy?

  You're welcome.

• 54:31Travis McElroy?

  -for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. And thank you to Justin McRoy today for-

• 54:36Griffin McElroy?

  He's a hero.

• 54:37Travis McElroy?

  -doing his job, even though he didn't feel like it and he didn't want to do it. His brothers insisted and he did it anyway, because that's how, that's what a professional does. That's what a pro does. You're welcome, Doc.

• 54:49Griffin McElroy?

  Proud of you.

• 54:50Travis McElroy?

  Thank you again to everybody who came out to Tampa and Jacksonville. We've got more tour dates announced for the 20 Thunder Drive Tour. We're coming to Virginia, North Carolina, Michigan, Minnesota, and Ohio.

• 55:04Griffin McElroy?

  That's real, that's real America.

• 55:06Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And well, Ohio's where I live, so I just, I have a lot of reference for it, which is nice. All the Adventure Zone shows are going to be different versions of Taz versus. We just did one down in Tampa and it was an absolute blast. I mean, I was sick, but I still did a great job because I'm a hero too.

• 55:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 55:23Travis McElroy?

  That's right.

• 55:24Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of bravery.

• 55:25Travis McElroy?

  Tickets are on sale now for those shows. More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly/mcroytours. Go get those tickets now. And go ahead, we've only got like, I think two or three packages left for Champions Grove. If you haven't gotten those yet, go to championsgrove.com and get those now.

• 55:42Griffin McElroy?

  Got some new merch. We got a Visekticon hoodie designed by Evan Palmer that I absolutely adore. A hot dog, hot dog man drains you dry if you know you know pin from the most recent run of Monster Factory. A bunch of stuff over at McRoy Merch.

• 55:58Travis McElroy?

  You'll like it.

• 55:59Griffin McElroy?

  10% of all merge proceeds this month will be donated to Harmony House, which helps to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

• 56:08Travis McElroy?

  I also want to say something I'm incredibly excited about. We're partnering with Kinship Goods.

• 56:15Griffin McElroy?

  Hell, yeah.

• 56:16Travis McElroy?

  To release a shirt designed by Pepper Raccoon. It's at Pepper Raccoon on Instagram.

• 56:23Travis McElroy?

  They are a West Virginia based company who I love very much and we have many of their, many of their things, clothes and stickers and stuff like that. And I had the idea for a shirt celebrating the birth of Huntington, because Huntington, West Virginia was born when Carlos P. Huntington was given a traffic ticket or a parking ticket for parking his horse in Holderby's Landing. And they said, you gotta pay the traffic ticket. And he said, I'm about to like build a whole thing here. And they said, you still have to pay the ticket, man. And he said, fuck you, I'm building my own town. So the shirt is, it says, Born of Spite.

• 56:58Griffin McElroy?

  It's so sick.

• 57:00Travis McElroy?

  It's a sick ass shirt.

• 57:01Griffin McElroy?

  Such a sick shirt.

• 57:02Travis McElroy?

  You can go to kinshipgoods.com/mcroy and go check it out and get it now. Thank you to Kinship Goods for partnering with us and all the amazing stuff that they make that I wear all the time.

• 57:14Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks to Montane also for the Easter theme song, My Life Is Better With You. It's a slammer. It's a fucking ripper.

• 57:23Travis McElroy?

  And don't forget, if you have a Faster Than Fear you would like us to read at the end of the episode, email that in with Faster Than Fear in the subject line. Justin.

• 57:30Travis McElroy?

  Do we have one right now?

• 57:31Travis McElroy?

  We do. Will you read it, please?

• 57:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Travis, I'd be happy to, man. This year, I'm gonna stop being afraid of a train chasing me through the woods, like in Wrongfully Accused, a fear that has haunted me for 25 years.

• 57:45Griffin McElroy?

  Amazing.

• 57:48Griffin McElroy?

  So many wonderful things in this world.

• 57:49Travis McElroy?

  My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

• 57:51Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 57:52Travis McElroy?

  It's my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad's square on the lips.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.