Lindsey Stirling ON: How To Deal With Things Not Going Your Way & Believing You Are Worthy Of Your Desires

What would you do if all your hopes and dreams were pinned on one audition, only to be crushed by rejection? Lindsey Stirling knows how that feels. After being rejected in front of millions by America’s Got Talent, she chose to see the silver lining and refused to give up. Stirling’s passion for her music has taken her all over the world as her powerful albums and concerts have reached millions. You'll learn how she used gratitude & magic to succeed in her life. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

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• 3:00Jay Shetty?

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• 3:09Speaker 01

  Sometimes what you're fighting for and what you want and the door you're banging on, it's just not quite the right door. You've just got to turn a little bit. You've got to listen to your own voice that tells you where to go. Is it time to try something else? Is it time to keep pushing? Is it time to like, just accept where you're at? Like, whatever it is. Like, listen to your heart, because it will never lead you astray. Maybe it's just not the right door, maybe it's just not the right time.

• 3:40Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. I am so excited for today's conversation. You know that I love introducing a guest that you can fall more in love with, but even more importantly, guests that are willing to open their heart, share the challenges they've been through, and share with us how they can actually act as a guide through lessons, through learning from their challenges, mistakes, and issues that they've gone through. And people are willing to be vulnerable with us. And so, whenever we get this opportunity, I want you to listen to this episode with an open heart, with an open mind, and really with gratitude for our guest today, who's willing to talk about so many different experiences that I know will help you through so many things in your life.

• 4:25Jay Shetty?

  Today's guest... As you already know, is none other than Lindsay Sterling. Now, Lindsay is a platinum selling electronic violinist, dancer, artist and author. She's known for smashing boundaries and defying expectations. And on her fifth full-length album, Artemis, she once again conjures the spirit of innovation that initially distinguished her back in 2010. She has over 12 million subscribers and over 2 billion views on YouTube. Lindsay shares that in her life, she's gone through depression, anorexia and loss, but she always comes out on the other side and wants to remind everyone it's possible.

• 5:07Jay Shetty?

  Today, I'm thrilled to find out more about how she fills her life with positivity and her creative process as an artist. Welcome to the show, Lindsay Sterling. Lindsay.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Hi. Oh, my gosh, I'm like blushing over here.

• 5:20Jay Shetty?

  It's all true.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Such a great intro. Thank you.

• 5:22Jay Shetty?

  It's all true. And I also wanted to say, as a personal intro, we actually met for the first time, I think around two years ago, nearly two years ago, at the Summit of Greatness by Lewis Howes.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:33Jay Shetty?

  And I remember I'd, so I've been a big fan of the violin my whole life.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 5:38Jay Shetty?

  Like, I think it's the most beautiful instrument in the world. I have never tried to pick it up for that exact reason, because I do not want to ruin that reputation that it has for me. And I'd heard your work before. And so I remember coming up to you and you were signing books that year.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:51Jay Shetty?

  And I remember just telling you how much I loved your work and your performance that day was just phenomenal. And I know we've been wanting to have you on the podcast for a while. So thank you so much for being so kind and generous with your time and being here.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Thanks for having me. I feel like it's been so long in the making to like get here today. So.

• 6:08Jay Shetty?

  Literally, yeah, but it's perfect. And I wanted to start with a question that I don't think you get asked often, or maybe, maybe it would be a different place to start. But I wanted to ask you, what's your favorite anime series from the 90s?

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Oh, man. I mean, probably like, I love Spirited Away. I just think it's so, and I love Sailor Moon. Like, all those early anime, I love their storytelling, but I also love the costuming. Like, I've always been really inspired, even in my own style, a little bit. Like, I don't even know if today represents, but.

• 6:40Jay Shetty?

  Oh, the pocket watch is cool.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  I've got a pocket watch, just like interesting pieces, like, like anime characters.

• 6:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love it. And we both discovered just before, literally, we talked for about. 10, 15 minutes about our love for Harry Potter and Avatar.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:54Jay Shetty?

  And Disney World and universes.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  All the fan fiction stuff. I was like, oh, my gosh, you're a nerd too.

• 7:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm a super nerd. I know everything. I know all the hidden parts of the movies and I get into all of that. That's when I saw the pocket watch. I was very impressed.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 7:09Jay Shetty?

  I was just like, there's.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  I really dressed up today. I wore my pocket watch.

• 7:12Jay Shetty?

  I love it. I love it. And, you know, with all of these things that we're talking about, all the things we're both fascinated by as well. You talk a lot about your belief in miracles, right? And like magic almost to some degree as well.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:24Jay Shetty?

  Tell us about where that belief came from and what is a miracle to you? Like, what counts as a miracle to you?

• 7:30Speaker 01

  That is such a great question. I've never been asked before. I love that. So I was raised in a home that was very religious. And sometimes people say that in a way of almost they're scarred by it. But I feel like the religious aspects of my life have really blessed me so much. They've made me, I feel like a deeper person. They've believed, made me believe in something greater than myself. And, you know, my, I was raised in a Mormon home. And, you know, and I really combine the aspects of religion still in my life. I still go to church on Sunday. I actually teach a Sunday school class for the teenagers. And, and it's something that's only bettered my life. And I think that a lot of times people see religion as divisive.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  I think that when religion is used for what it's actually meant for, it's, it's inclusive. It's, it's, it helps people bind together. It gives you opportunities for service. It gives you opportunities to, to uplift other people and to be uplifted when you're the one that's weak in these like communities of, you know, as long as it's something that, you know, my parents always taught us that the basis of, you know, whether we believe this or they believe that, what we need to always rely on is, it's love. Love is the basis of all of it. And if you start to make it a divide, you're missing the point of what, you know, religion was supposed to be. And so for me, it's, it's a mixture of religious aspects and spirituality, just connecting to something greater than myself. And I think that.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  I don't know when I really started. I just believe so strongly that miracles happen all the time. And I like to look for miracles in my life every day. And I think that it really became even stronger for me after I lost people I loved. Because suddenly this other side, you know, like I've heard my whole life that we go somewhere after we die. And when my best friend passed away, and shortly after that, my father passed away, suddenly someone I loved so much, two people I love so much, were on that other side. And I just started to really think, where are they? What are they doing? Like, how close can they get? And I've been given so many little miracles, for lack of a better term, in my life that show me that they are looking out for me.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  And the more I look for that, the more I see it. And I've had such little, you know, everything from tiny, special, tiny miracles to big things that have happened that just make me feel powerful in a way, almost like I imagine I walk through life with these angels around me that are looking out for me and whispering things in my ear and helping me. And it makes me feel almost like I have a superpower. I'm a superhero because I've got this strength and angels from the other side. And I pray for help all the time from that, asking specific angels. Sometimes it's my grandma I'm asking for help. Sometimes it's, you know, my best friend, my dad. Sometimes I'm like, hey, I want to channel Lucille Ball today. I want Lucille Ball to be my special angel today. You

• 10:26Speaker 01

  know, like, I'll ask specific angels for help. I know that might sound weird, but it does make me feel like I go through life with help from the other side and extra power.

• 10:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. That's amazing. And I love that you talked about how miracles are both small and big things. That sometimes it could be the tiniest thing that happens in your day that changes your mood, or is like a little lesson, or a piece of wisdom, or whatever it is. And then it could be something huge, like, you know, the great successes and achievements you've had in your life. And I think it's beautiful when we can see Miracles in both.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 10:58Jay Shetty?

  Because I think sometimes we're waiting for miracles to be like these big gigantic changes.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:03Jay Shetty?

  And actually, sometimes miracles aren't like that at all.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And like even sometimes my family all talks all the time about like, oh, our angels are looking out for us because we all have this thing in common that our dad is over there. He's one of our angels. And so we'll always, even if it's like, oh, I remembered right before I left the house that I should grab whatever it is, you know, it's like, oh, my angels are whispering in my ear, you know? And like I said, I think that whatever you look for in life, you're going to see more of. And if you are not looking for something, yeah, you're gonna be like, well, I never seen miracles. I never get that. But if you, it's like when you all of a sudden become aware of an artist, all of a sudden you're like, oh, they're everywhere. They're on that billboard. They're on the radio. Oh, how come I never heard of this person before? But it's because now they're in your peripheral view. You've seen them.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  And I think it's the same with gratitude or with miracles or with whatever it is you're looking for in life. If you look for it, you'll see it.

• 11:55Jay Shetty?

  That's such a great point. The way to test it is if you ever buy a new car. Or an, right? If you ever buy a new car, you're thinking about buying a new car and then you go on the road, you see that car everywhere.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:06Jay Shetty?

  And it could be a rare car. It may be a common car, whatever it is, but you, it is exactly that. Whatever's in your peripheral view, you start to see it everywhere. And, and I think what the point you just made is so beautiful because I think sometimes it's like when you're rushing out the home and you notice you forgot something, it's almost like, oh, I forgot it. Like, it's almost like a negative feeling.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:25Jay Shetty?

  Rather than like, oh, thanks. I, I remembered, right? Like the way you're seeing.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:29Jay Shetty?

  And it's so interesting because it's such a small thing and we do it every day. I know I do it sometimes. It's like I get downstairs, I'm about to get in my car and I'm like, oh, I forgot my wallet or whatever it is.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:38Jay Shetty?

  Rather than, oh, I'm so glad I remembered, rather than getting to the store.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Interesting. Yeah.

• 12:42Jay Shetty?

  Right?

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or even having a moment to be like, oh, thanks.

• 12:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Thank you, my angels, or, or whatever it is that you see as your, you know, thank you, my brain for being smart and remembering, whatever you want to see it as. I, I like that.

• 12:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, well, you just you said it, not me.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  You put it anyways. That's cool. You know, and one thing that I think has helped me so much, I talk about all the time is my gratitude journal.

• 13:04Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Has been very like transformative in my life in this like I didn't realize like something so simple would make such a big impact. And it's things like that where automatic responses start to become more gratitude based than negative based. And it's exactly like you said, the same exact situation where I can be like, I am so stupid that I always get to my car and I forget something. Or, oh, thank heavens I remembered before I left, you know, and it's I've noticed a shift happen in my mind of all these little tiny things that happen automatically now that turn more towards an optimistic attitude rather than a beat myself up attitude or a complain attitude. All because I practice every single night for five minutes before I go to bed, just like several things I'm grateful for.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  And it's just those little tiny things that make the biggest difference in life. And I often think that when we want to change, you I think sometimes I used to be like, oh, gosh, I've got so much work to do. And like, I have to change everything in order to be a better person. But it's like, no, it's tiny, tiny pivots, tiny, tiny tweaks, like little things that are going to just make these huge impacts over time. And it's all about just one pivot at a time, not shifting everything, one tiny, tiny turn.

• 14:21Jay Shetty?

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• 15:04Jay Shetty?

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• 15:48Jay Shetty?

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• 16:33Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. When did you start your gratitude journal process? Like, when did that become a regular habit in your life?

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Um, two years ago.

• 16:39Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow. Okay, so fairly recent.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  So, yeah, it's been a fairly recent thing.

• 16:43Jay Shetty?

  It's been a long enough time to practise it, but it's been fairly recent in your life.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and where did you get introduced to it? And why, why was it just you read an article or a book, or you heard it somewhere, or was...

• 16:53Speaker 01

  I just heard it enough, I think. You know, I'd heard enough people say that this is a good practice to do, because I'd listen to a lot, like, I like to fill my life with positivity, whether it's reading, like, Brene Brown books in my, as, you know, on Audible, as I drive in my car, or listening to podcasts. And I feel like the more I fill my life with positivity, you know, the more positive I am, obviously. And so this was something I just kept hearing about. And every year, I like to pick a word. To work on. And last year, as a result of kind of starting this gratitude journal, I decided I'm going to dive in. My word for last year was gratitude. And it was really nice to, and I think that's a really good way to approach New Year's resolutions, because you can make tons of little like goals, but they all, all my goals always focus around

• 17:38Speaker 01

  my word for the year. So it's like, this is my big goal. And then I'm going to just make lots of little like things that will hopefully lead to that. And anyway, so that's when I really dove into it. It was like, we're doing this. I'm going to visualize it. I'm going to write it. I'm going to be it.

• 17:51Jay Shetty?

  I love that. And how many things do you do every night?

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Only three.

• 17:54Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  It's very manageable. I do three when I go to bed, and then I do three when I wake up.

• 17:58Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  So it's just like the bookends of my day. And then, you know, sometimes when I'm really ambitious, I sit there and I'll visualize those things and I'll try to like feel them, actually, not just write, then see, then actually feel, and then go to bed.

• 18:12Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Love the sound effects.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  That's the plan.

• 18:15Jay Shetty?

  What was, what was the intention for the year of 2020? What was the word for this year?

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Oh, my, my word for this year is actually magic. So it's funny that you started off.

• 18:23Jay Shetty?

  I had no idea.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  And you started off the podcast with that word.

• 18:26Jay Shetty?

  That's crazy.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Again, I've heard that word so much in the last month.

• 18:31Jay Shetty?

  See, I haven't.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  Because I've, probably because I'm looking for it and I'm thinking about it. And the reason I chose magic is I feel like, I don't even know how to describe it. I feel like I used to live a little more magically, where I made big wishes and I dreamed big. And, you know, I didn't even realize this, but someone was telling me that every eight years, it's a year of manifestation. And I guess this year is one of those years. And so eight years ago was a year of manifestation. So I was looking back at eight years ago and the things that I believed I could do, the things I wished for, the things that were like on my radar. It is amazing what has come full circle since that year. And I didn't even realize it. But I used to be so good at making wishes and

• 19:16Speaker 01

  believing full heartedly that I would achieve them and that they would come back to me. And because I believed in good things, good things came. And not that I'm a pessimist, I just feel like a little bit of that, like, you know, dreamer in me has become kind of realistic. And so I want to just open it up to like, living magically, like, feeling magical, feeling powerful, feeling like, all those things. And so, um, getting back to that, that side of myself, that I think has just gotten a little bit realistic.

• 19:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  If that makes sense.

• 19:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that makes so much sense. You always have, like, struck me as quite a magical person in general.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 19:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I feel like, I don't know if it's because you showed me dressed up as Dobby, or...

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 19:56Jay Shetty?

  No, I just feel like you, you have a very magical presence.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 20:00Jay Shetty?

  On stage, too, like, there's, there's that, and which is like, I don't, I don't often say that, so I'm not just saying it. It's, it's an interesting thing that I picked up on, so now that all seems to line up. But I love what you're saying, because I think, as children, we saw and believed in magic.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:13Jay Shetty?

  And I've always been really into illusion, and illusionists, and magic, so people like David Blaine, or Darren Brown, and I'm always fascinated by it. And, and the truth is, as you become older, you want to know how it's done.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:26Jay Shetty?

  Whereas when you're a kid, you just appreciate it, and you just, wow, that's my bling. And, and I think it's almost like, you're like that, like, even whether you're on a ride, or you're in a movie, or whatever it is, like, your adult mind just wants to figure out how everything's done.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:39Jay Shetty?

  But you lose that sense of magic, you lose that sense of spark, of feeling of wonder.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:44Jay Shetty?

  And just being, allowing yourself to just be like, actually, it doesn't matter, I don't need, I don't need to know, I'm, I'm allowed to experience.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  And I think that that is one of the most important things that made my career happen, is that, when I first started, I, you know, I wrote my first album, never having written a song before, like, my own composition, never, like, I wrote my first 12 songs, or all the 12 songs that are on my first album. That album changed my life, it took me literally across the world, it went gold in multiple countries. And I had never, like, written, like, I was, I'd been a musician my entire life, but I didn't know the rules of songwriting, I didn't know the rules of how to market an album, I didn't, I just worked my butt off, and I believed that it would happen, and...

• 21:34Speaker 01

  It happened. And I think that, you know, looking back on my beginnings especially, a girl that was like, I want to kind of invent my own genre, music, of playing electronic violin music, it's all instrumental. And I want to dance while I play, and I want to tour and wear fun costumes. And what?

• 21:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, everyone listening to it would be like, yeah.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  This girl's insane. And I know that because I sat in front of people and tried to pitch what I was doing. And I showed them like videos of me doing it in my living room, like being like, see, this is the vision. And, you know, I went to record labels and managements and no one believed it. But there was something inside me where I believed it so strongly because I just had that magic inside of me of like, no, I, I know I can do this. And I made big wishes. I made big plans. And when you don't know what's like possible and impossible, sometimes you end up doing the impossible.

• 22:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  And I look back at just, you know, and like, what, what I've gotten to do with my life and in the last 10 years. And I'm just like, it was kind of impossible, but I didn't know that. And so it happened.

• 22:45Speaker 02

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• 23:31Speaker 05

  What would happen if I stopped doing it? You start, you freeze it there, that's what.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 23:39Speaker 05

  I'm not the first nanny.

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• 24:00Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful. I love that.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What have you found happens when you believe something, but it doesn't necessarily happen at the right time or the time you wanted it to actually, not the right time. I take that back.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:13Jay Shetty?

  You know, it's almost like that feeling of, what I mean by you is I agree with you. I think that belief is so powerful, but sometimes people will say, well, I have this belief, but it's not happening, right?

• 24:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 24:26Jay Shetty?

  Or maybe you've had a belief at times, but it didn't happen in the way you thought it was going to happen.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  I have so many stories I could think of. Which one do I tell?

• 24:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, whichever one. Yeah, whichever one.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  I think the most, um, the biggest one I can think of was when I first started, I wanted, you know, I had this dream of what I wanted to be, what I could see, and it's what I am now. That's what I like saw in my head. And I, I tried all these different ways to get it out there and every door just closed in my face. And the most public one and the most dramatic one was I auditioned for America's Got Talent. This is in 2010. This is 10 years ago. And, um, you know, I made it all the way to the round where it's like live.

• 25:09Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  And it's, you know, there's like, I think it was the top, you know, semifinals, whatever. And now at this point, America calls and they vote for you. It was like really exciting. And in my mind, all I wanted to do was win this show. I knew that if I won the show, my life would change forever in an instant. And, you know, you win a million dollars, you win a Vegas residency, like it's a big deal. And, and they kind of also drill it into your head that this is the biggest moment of your life. Don't blow it. And so here I was, I'd never really performed in front of any more than like 100, 200 people. And here I am on this like live stage with like millions of viewers watching. They even told me before I stepped on the stage, there's 11 million people tuned in right now. Good luck. You know what?

• 25:54Speaker 01

  So I go out there, I'm in the middle of my performance and. I hear the buzz and that means I got xed. So not only was it, I mean, in that moment, I knew that I'd blown it. Like I'd blown the biggest moment of my life. And I walk up to the judges after the, after I finished playing and I got told that I sounded like rats being strangled. This is on live television, like everyone I know is watching, including a lot of other people. And, you know, and I was told, just, you know, you just don't have what it takes. You're not good enough. And I was devastated and humiliated, really bad combo. And I remember I, I went backstage afterwards, like I held it together on stage, you know, like trying not to cry.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  And then I ran into the bathroom because that's the only place you could be alone. And I just sunk to the floor and I sobbed, like I sobbed the ugly cry for a long time until they came in and found me. And they're like, we're closing up, like you gotta go. And so, you know, I packed up my little violin and I just honestly didn't know if I could get on a stage ever again. Cause I was just so embarrassed, like, you know, even embarrassed in front of my family, even though they were like, you were, you were great. We love you. We're proud of you. It was just, I just was like, I don't even think I can look myself in the eye again.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  But there's that inner voice, you know, whether I call it my angels, or whether you call it your gut, or whether you call it intuition, whatever you, you call it, we all have it. And it told me, you're not done yet. And sometimes that voice will be like, it's time to try a different road. Like there's different things, you know, but listening to your inner gut will always tell you where you should go. And at this time it was, it's not over yet. And, you know, I kept moving forward and I ended up shortly after that, you know, trying several other things and then discovering YouTube. Which, um, this was the early days of YouTube. I put some videos out, they went quote unquote viral for the time and it changed my life. And looking back on it, like thank heavens I didn't win America's Got Talent.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  Like thank heavens I did not, you know, you're locked into these contracts that are really rough. And I never would have been able contractually to start my YouTube channel. I would have been locked into a record label deal. I'm now like an independent artist and I tour the world, I do it on my own terms and. I never could have done that if I had gotten what I wanted. And you know, there, I just have so many of these experiences where sometimes what you're fighting for and what you want and the door you're banging on, it's just not quite the right door. And you just gotta turn a little bit. You gotta listen to your own voice that tells you where to go. Is it time to try something else? Is it time to keep pushing? Is it time to like, just accept where you're at? Like, whatever it is. Like, listen to your heart because it will never lead you astray.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  And maybe it's just not the right door. Maybe it's just not the right time.

• 28:44Jay Shetty?

  You're amazing. That was awesome. That's so beautiful to hear. We have, we have so much more in common than I knew.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 28:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I can relate to so much of what you just said right now. And I've probably said it in other interviews that I've been in. Just that feeling of what you explained of how sometimes what you want is not actually the best thing for you.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  No.

• 29:05Jay Shetty?

  And, and I've been in that position so many times. And I literally said this to someone a couple of nights ago. I was like, if I got everything that I wanted,

• 29:13Jay Shetty?

  most people wouldn't know who I am or what I'm doing or anything.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Oh, isn't that crazy?

• 29:16Jay Shetty?

  Like, I would have just ended up in this weird side job that I just thought was the dream. You know, when I was trying to break through and get people to listen to me. And the amount of doors that were shut on my face, just in the way you've explained, where I've always talked about YouTube was like my last option.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Yes, it was definitely pinned to you.

• 29:33Jay Shetty?

  I'd done everything. Like, I, sorry, YouTube, you were not my first choice. It was like, you know, it was like, one of those moments of just like, every door had been shut. It was like, you know, at that time, 10 media companies had told me that my inspirational video ideas were not good enough and would never make it. And I had three execs tell me I was too old to be in media. I was 28 years old. And they're like, you're too old. Everyone who's trying to get into media is 21, 22. And they were like, just start a blog or like, you know, just, just do that. And then everyone's like, there's no careers in media. Like, there's no, there's no, and you don't even have a communications background or a media background or a film background, because that's not my background.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:10Jay Shetty?

  And so it was just, for me as well, there was just one option. That option was to try and do it myself.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:15Jay Shetty?

  And so when I'm hearing you speak, It's, I love hearing someone else say it because it's, it's kind of like reaffirming for me to hear it from you.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:23Jay Shetty?

  That something as big as winning America's Got Talent, which is huge.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  Which is huge, yeah.

• 30:29Jay Shetty?

  But you're, but in your experience, you've even found that that wasn't the end of the road.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:34Jay Shetty?

  Not winning that. And I think that, and, and actually I find, and I've said this to people before, sometimes it's the people that don't win.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:40Jay Shetty?

  That go on to do more incredible things than the people that win.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  And I, I wonder if it's partially because it gives you this little like, you know, this little, and you know, for me, I think in that experience, looking back on it, um, a lot of times people are like, what were they thinking? They like, they didn't see what you had. How could they have been so wrong? But they weren't necessarily wrong.

• 31:03Jay Shetty?

  I agree.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like, looking back at that video, I really didn't perform well. Like, I was a baby in it. I was terrified. I hadn't really earned my stripes yet as a performer. I was too early on that stage and where I was at as like this, you know, I'd just come up with this idea of dancing and playing and I was kind of awkward at it, really awkward at it. So they weren't wrong. And when they said, you're not good enough, they weren't exactly wrong. They didn't have to be mean, but um, the point is though, that I added my own word to it is, I'm not good enough yet. And sometimes when people give you harsh critique, it's easy to like, take it to your soul of like, that's who I am. I'm not good enough and I'll never be good enough. But no, it's, tonight you weren't good enough.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  And that's okay to say, and that's okay to accept for yourself. Tonight, I wasn't quite what I wanted to be. Yet. I will be better tomorrow. I'm going to show up. I'm going to work hard. And now I can say, honestly, when I step on a stage, I've earned my stripes. I worked my butt off, like, not only to like, you know, create all the social media stuff and learn how to live in that world, but all, honestly, just in my skills and my craft, like I've honed in, I still practice it. And so now it's like, yeah, I now have earned my place in this entertainment world. And just because I wasn't good enough yet back then, doesn't mean I would never be. Just because you're not where you want to be right now, doesn't mean you're not going to get there. And so, yeah.

• 32:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you don't have to take something that was true one time and make it true for all time.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  That's the way I was trying to say it.

• 32:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, no, I was thinking about it while you were saying it. I was like, so often we take something that was said one time and we're like, okay, that's true for all time now, and that's it.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 32:41Jay Shetty?

  And, and there is no reality. I love what you just said about adding the word yet to the end and, and about accepting that. It's the same like, I, do you mind if I share my version? I don't think I've said this before, so I want to share it because you're inspiring me to share it. So I was working for a company and I was doing extremely, extremely well there. But I felt that I wanted to leave to work on my passion, which was create videos and share these ideas that were inspiring and motivating. And I believed it would help people in their life. I hadn't yet made anything. And the company asked me to create my ideal job profile. And so I created it, which was interviewing people like this, creating videos that help educate and inspire and inform people and making content in a way that people would feel better

• 33:26Jay Shetty?

  being impacted by it. And I remember speaking to the chief marketing officer of this company. And I was on the phone with them and they were looking through my list of my ideal job. And they said, Jay, so you want to be an influencer and you want to be a celebrity? And I said, no, I, that wasn't, there was no, that word was not on my list. It was like, no, I want to do interviews. I want to be a host. I want to be a content creator. I want to edit these videos. It was, it was, and they said, no, you want to be a celebrity or an influencer. And I said, no, no, I think you've got it all wrong. I, I just really believed that I should be making content. They said, well, we don't have space for celebrities and influencers at this company. And literally it was phone down moment and I left like a week later.

• 34:09Jay Shetty?

  Now, so many people since that day have always said to me like, oh, don't you, don't you want to go back and show them what's happened and tell them? And I'm like, I want to go back and thank them. Like, I wanna go back and express gratitude to them and be like, "Thank you so much for telling me that there wasn't any space for this role." I still don't see myself as an influencer or a celebrity, that's not the point. But I'm so glad that I was told that this role didn't exist there.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  There.

• 34:36Jay Shetty?

  Because if it did, I'd still be working a full-time job, having to create content that was right for that place, and not being able to, same as you said, being an independent artist, getting to create content that I really believe in and that I really love and that can spread all across the world. So, anyway, I'm grateful that, yeah, thank you for-

• 34:53Speaker 01

  No, I love that. It's just this idea that the doors that close that are devastating are oftentimes the best thing that could ever happen to you. But it's only gonna be the best thing that ever happens to you if you keep moving forward. If you keep taking steps and say, "Okay, well, where's next? You know, what's the next thing?" You know, it's still believing in yourself despite the fact that maybe someone else didn't.

• 35:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I'm inspired. Just seeing, you see, I'm like, "I'm so inspired." No, honestly, like, you've just, like, put my soul on fire. It's amazing. It's like, it really, anyway, it's awesome. Tell me about, we've talked about professional failure or professional rejection and purpose-based challenges. This is purposeful to you, the work that you do. It's not just you're a musician and you do it from a career point of view. It's purposeful. But tell us about the personal challenges that you've broke through as well. Like, you've battled with anorexia.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 35:44Jay Shetty?

  And that, I mean, I'll let you tell me whether that was harder or easier than a professional challenge. But it sounds like it's a lot harder when it's personal and with you and your body and your mind. I mean, tell us about how you went through that experience and how you overcame that.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Yes, and I actually love to talk about this because so many people, you know, to some degree or another, deal with this. Whether they are diagnosably anorexic or whether they just some days hate their body. Like, I think that a lot of people deal with this. And I think depression is something that, whether it's like clinical depression or chemical, or whether it's just situational. Like, everybody deals with that at times of their life. And so I think it's something that's so important to talk about and like, learn. For yourself and understand how you go through these phases. And you know, I realized when I was in college, I was, um, you know, in my, I think, the middle of college, when I finally came to realizing, oh my gosh, I'm anorexic.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  And it took a while to come to that realization because I had been depressed for a really long time and, um, it happened so slowly that it just consumed me and I would have defended it forever, being like, no, I'm just really healthy because I was exercising all the time and I was eating like a bunny, like I was eating all like vegetables and, you know, so I would have defended it forever that, no, I'm just healthy. But I finally had this moment where I realized that I had sacrificed everything for this. And it happened, the realization for me happened in the most simple moment and it makes me really emotional. But my sister's my best friend and she was my roommate at the time. And, um, all of our roommates, we were all really close, really good friends. And I heard them all laughing in the other room and just talking. Someone was telling a funny story about a bad date

• 37:31Speaker 01

  or something and they were all laughing, but I just didn't even have the energy to get off my bed to go in and join because I ju- and I also just thought like they wouldn't even want me to join. I just was so depressed. And then my sister came in the room and sat on her bed and I looked at her and thought, I don't know when we became strangers, but I don't, I don't even know how to talk to her anymore. And it was because I had gotten so consumed in my mind by like, anorexia is fully consuming. All you think about is yourself. All you think about is your next meal. All you think about is what you look like. Like it's, um, it becomes a very selfish disease that is very isolating. And it's not like you're selfish in the terms of like, oh, I'm awesome. Like it's selfish in the

• 38:12Speaker 01

  terms of all you can worry about is yourself because you're so consumed. Um, and so I didn't even realize, but I was like, I don't remember the last time we had like a real conversation or laughed or talked together. And that gave me the courage to be like, something is wrong. Something is definitely wrong in here and I need to figure it out. And so I started going to therapy, um, cause I was finally willing to fight for happiness again. I realized I was sad and you know, and you know, it took me about two years to fully come out of this first cycle of like, Depression and pull out of it and come out of anorexia and become like, oh my gosh, I think I'm healthy. And you know, since then, I find it being like, um, you know,

• 38:55Speaker 01

  it's gonna always be a part of my life in a weird way. I don't know how else to say it, but it's very much in the background. It's something I don't deal with on a regular day-to-day basis. But sometimes when I'm like stressed, or when I'm worried about something, or when I'm like exhausted, that's when it thinks it has room to come back and it tries to sneak back into my life. And now it's to the point where rather than taking two years to come out of it, now it's like, oh, I recognize you. And you're not welcome here. Like, you're not a part of my life. And I really, one of the most helpful books I ever read for my anorexia was a book called Life Without Ed. And it's where this woman personified her eating disorder and she talked to it. And she would say, she

• 39:40Speaker 01

  would have conversations with it and talk sense to it because you realize there's a dialogue in your mind and it tells you sometimes really nasty things. And to her, that was not her. That was Ed. It was her eating disorder. And so I started to do that. I started to see these horrible thoughts in my mind as they're not me. Anorexia is not who I am. It's like this little like thing that's come into my life and it's not welcome. And so I constantly remind it to leave. And when I like, if I see a picture of myself and have that thought of like, oh, my gosh, like, I look huge. Or if I catch myself in a mirror and think something nasty, I am now immediately tell that you're not welcome. We don't talk to ourselves like that. I don't entertain those thoughts. And then I'll say something nice to myself. Like, I am strong. Like, there are so many wonderful things about

• 40:25Speaker 01

  my body. Like, I'm healthy, I'm strong, I can dance, I like to run, like, I, you know. And so it's choosing what I am going to let stay now. And also, I think that there there's, it's sometimes takes work. And we don't always put that into play. We all know it takes work to be healthy and to eat right and to exercise and take care of our bodies. But what about our minds? And how much attention do we give to the happiness and being positive? And you know, that's why I write my gratitude journal, all these like little practices I have in my life. And then I think the biggest one for me is just listening to that voice. And when it says something that's unfair, I learned years ago when I was going through therapy and anorexia, you know, to not entertain the bad. Like, I don't do that. And it's

• 41:07Speaker 01

  very empowering to say that, to stop your own thought and be like, nope, it's not who I am.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Self-love, you know?

• 41:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I know, that's great. I love the way you've broken down the process for all of us. And thank you for the recommendations on the books too. It's always, I know the audience loves hearing what books help and work. And so if anyone's struggling with that in particular, it sounds like a fantastic book that

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Really is.

• 41:30Jay Shetty?

  really helps you understand the voices in your mind and your head and recognizing which ones are not you. That's 100% true.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:36Jay Shetty?

  That's 100% true. It's always like a bad friend. I think it was Gandhi who said, "Don't let anyone walk through your mind with their dirty feet."

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:44Jay Shetty?

  And it's almost like sometimes it's your dirty feet or another thing that is inside of you. It's almost doing it to yourself.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:51Jay Shetty?

  But you're so right that that negative voice in our heads is not us. It's like being friend with the bad. You know, it's like being friends with the negative influence.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 42:00Jay Shetty?

  You've started spending so much time with them. It sounds like your voice now.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:03Jay Shetty?

  And so I think that's a really important lesson.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Well, it's interesting how it's like we've written these stories and these beliefs in our mind about who we are. And I finally came to the realization that if I wrote this story and became this, "Once upon a time," somewhere along the line, I started to believe these things. I started to write this and then I reinforce it every day in my mind. I rewrite the story every day. And I punish myself over and over and over again for a belief that I wrote "once upon a time." And so if I wrote it once and if I believe it now, then I can write a new one.

• 42:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  I can change it. It's going to take time because our minds love familiarity, even if it's negative. And it, you know, that's just a pattern. Our minds run on patterns. And so it's like, okay, start to break the pattern. It's going to take time. It took me two years the first time because I was pretty deeply entrenched in a very unhealthy, very, very trapped pattern. You know, I'm not saying it's going to take everybody two years, but if it does, that's okay. Don't look at yourself today and think this is who you are forever. Because I can't even tell you what a different person I am now. Like you called me magical. In college, no one would have called me magical in that time. My roommates would have been, Lindsay's really tired. She's very, you know, she's, she's nice, but I just didn't have the energy to be like out there for other people and be kind and be as loving

• 43:19Speaker 01

  because I was so trapped in this like tornado inside myself. And I'm like, if I could change from that person to like where I am now, where I, you know, I, I love to share with people. I, I feel like anyone can do it. This is a process that start where you are today. Start to love yourself. Start to be kind to yourself. Start to fill your life with more and more positivity. And you can get to be, you can get to anywhere you want. Whether it's, like I said, my journey of like getting off America's Got Talent and having to work step by step to like become the violinist I am now. Or whether it's looking in the mirror and being able to say like, you're beautiful to yourself. Like, start where you're at, but you can get there. I honestly believe that anyone can be there.

• 44:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  And it takes work still.

• 44:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, of course.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  It's not like I'm, you know, I still go through times, like last weekend, I had a real depressed weekend where I was like, dang it, like I'm in a funk. I'm in a depressed stage and I don't like being here, but I recognize now that that's okay. It's not who I am, it's a passing experience. And I think too often we like attach ourselves and our definition of self to like, I'm depressed. Like this is me. No, it's not me. It's a phase. It's like the cycle of the moon. Sometimes the moon's covered with shadows, sometimes it's bright. It doesn't mean it's not still there just because you can't see it.

• 44:34Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  And I sometimes get a little covered up.

• 44:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  And I just have to like go to all my things, like call my therapist, do all the things that I know will help me. I now take ballroom dance lessons. That really helps me pull out of these like, you know, I called my teacher and was like, actually, can we have an emergency ballroom lesson today because I'm just feeling down?

• 44:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  You know, and I think it's really important to learn, like what are the kind of things that work for you? And don't attach your worth and your definition to how you feel in a moment.

• 45:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  They come and go.

• 45:01Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Just like the weather.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Just like the weather.

• 45:04Jay Shetty?

  Just because it's rainy outside, you know, like, oh, I am now rain.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:06Jay Shetty?

  It's not like rainy inside and same with the sun. And you're so right about having something though, and I feel movement is such a big part of it.

• 45:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:13Jay Shetty?

  Like you're, I mean, ballroom dancing for you, you know, whatever it is for you. It's like, I feel movement is always a powerful thing to add to that space to get you out of your head. I always find that whether some people like running and it is, and that's what I mean. Like I love this example of ballroom dancing because it doesn't have to be exercise in the traditional sense, even though we know exercise is great for breaking through our depression patterns and negative patterns. It's like exercise can be fun. It can be a sport, it can be dance, it can be so many other things. So don't feel bound to just exercise.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Well, I love that you said one time on one of your podcasts that your wife will dance every day.

• 45:46Jay Shetty?

  She does it every day.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  And I was like, that's amazing. Like nothing great in, you know.

• 45:50Jay Shetty?

  And she will say offbeat. That's where she'll add offbeat.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, you don't have to be an amazing, you don't have to be Derek Hough in order to dance, you know, or Julianne.

• 45:58Jay Shetty?

  Julianne, yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  I love them both and they're, they're like amazing, but. You don't have to be like that in order to like enjoy movement.

• 46:06Jay Shetty?

  And they said the same thing. Even Julianne and Derek would say exactly, we had Julianne on the podcast.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 46:12Jay Shetty?

  And so she said the same exact thing. She was just like, yeah, like you don't have, she wants people to just move their body and yeah, I love that. And, and tell us about, obviously you mentioned it earlier as well, like losing your best friend and your father, like close around the same sort of time.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 46:28Jay Shetty?

  Those sound like, like very formative experiences, like very transformative experiences that, you know, you, you seem to have processed in a positive way where you, you know that they're still in your life and they're still benefiting you. What else has, what was it like going through that loss? And how were you able to use it as a, this now, not just feeling, but this genuine reality that you experienced with them and still being involved in your life?

• 46:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, it was, uh, it was so formative in a way because I feel like, I mean, I, I'd never lost anyone before that. And I feel like it gave me this very strong empathy that I never had before. Where now I can, I just feel things a little deeper. Honestly, like my emotions now are always like right up to my eyeballs. I'm like a second away from crying all the time. Not in a bad way, just like whether I'm watching a horse movie, you know, and like the racehorse is about to win, like, oh my gosh, tears will flood. Or whether like someone's telling me an emotional story or like, I cry on stage all the time. Like just telling my fans, I love them. I start to cry.

• 47:37Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  You know, but I just feel things, like I've always been a very feely person because I'm an artist, but like it's, there's a depth to it now. And I think that going through hard things can either give you like, um, you know, it can either make you harder and tougher, or they can make you stronger, you know? And I just think that sometimes. We feel like these hard things, like they harden us, but I almost feel like it made me softer going through this. And I honestly think it was my religious beliefs and my spirituality that pulled me through it. And turning to that rather than turning to anger. And I remember

• 48:17Speaker 01

  actually, one of the most beautiful moments of my life was as my sisters, my mom and I, it was my whole family, were sitting around my dad's hospital bed as we knew that it was his like last moments. You know, we weren't sure when he was gonna go. We weren't sure if he could hear us or not. But he had quite a long battle with cancer that was really hard to watch. And so as he's laying in this bed, not looking like my dad anymore, we sat there and we were just in silence, like not knowing what to say. And then one of my sisters was like, you know what, let's tell stories about dad. Let's tell like some of our favorite moments. And we just sat there and they started a little like, I remember

• 49:00Speaker 01

  one time, and then before you know it, we were laughing and we were crying and we're all holding hands as we're telling these stories. And in that moment, this shift happened in me where I went from this bitterness of like, how could this happen to my dad, this smart, strong, like the best man I know, funny, like, he made me who I am. And rather than being angry at what had happened to him and at what I was losing, I just became so grateful for what I had, which was like a lifetime of memories of the most amazing

• 49:41Speaker 01

  father and the most amazing family that I still had. And then also that I will always still have my dad because I believe he's with me and he can help me now in ways that he never could have when he was in his mortal body. Like, he can really be there to comfort me at any time. And I really think that that was one of the biggest shifts that got me through this experience was realizing to have gratitude for what I have, not only had, what I have, rather than the things we've lost. Because abundance and lack of abundance exists around all of us. All the time, whether you're the billionaires of the world, or whether you live somewhere remote in a hut.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  Like, we all have abundance and we all have lack of abundance, and it's up to us to choose where we are going to look. Because at the end of the day, we all just want joy. We all just want happiness. And what else matters than like sharing goodness, sharing gratitude, sharing love, and giving yourself the ability to have self-love? And, you know, forget all the labels and the judgment and the money and the... Like, who is it that decided we're all supposed to look a certain way? Who is it that decided that money equals happiness? Because it doesn't, you know? Who is it that decided that success makes you better than somebody else? It doesn't. Like, all these things that sometimes trap our minds into feeling like we're supposed to be a certain way are... They're prisons, you know? And as soon as you can stop all those voices and those opinions

• 51:09Speaker 01

  and just realize like, what is it that I want to be? I just want to be grateful. I just want to love. And that was a huge shift that happened in me, and it happened, you know, moments before my dad passed away. And it's, to this day, one of the most transformative just moments I've ever had.

• 51:24Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for sharing that, by the way. It's so like, heartwarming to hear you express everything through gratitude. Like, you can tell how much you've processed everything through gratitude, even the toughest moments of any one of our lives. Like, for so... You know, for anyone who's lost someone in any way, anyone who's listening or watching right now, you know that it's not easy to do that. But the fact that you've been able to fuel every situation in your life with gratitude is an amazing lesson for all of us. Like, it's amazing. It's really, really beautiful. And it's such a wonderful reminder for us all to follow that example in all of our different challenges and situations in life. And you're just saying there that, you know,

• 52:09Jay Shetty?

  it's all about being joyful, et cetera. And like, this new album that you've made, Artemis, is obviously, you say it's one of the first albums that you've recorded from a place of joy.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:19Jay Shetty?

  As opposed to recording it, you know, from a place of pain or challenge or struggle. That, as an artist, I mean, that almost sounds harder sometimes. Isn't it? Isn't it harder?

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Well, it's

• 52:30Jay Shetty?

  Sometimes?

• 52:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, tell us about how that was different.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, people always say that, you know, artists make the best music through pain, or the best like films through pain. And I was like, oh, that's kinda horrible that we're saying we have to experience pain in order to make good art. And, but to be honest, like, you know, whenever I go to like, start a new album or a new phase, it's like, okay, I think, where am I at? What am I feeling? And, you know, my Brave Enough album, which was the previous one, was written about loss. It was right after and like during like all of this that I wrote that album. And I drew from hard emotions. And it was a good, it was a good album. However, I think that this album, Artemis, I think it's my best album I've ever done. And it was really exciting when I like went to think about, okay, where am I at? What am I drawing from?

• 53:18Speaker 01

  And I got thought, I'm in a place of joy. Like, this is awesome. I get to write about like being in that place, not just hoping to be in that place and like the strive to get there, but like, I get to write about it. And I called the album Artemis because Artemis is the goddess of the moon. And I've really come to appreciate this whole analogy of what the moon represents to me now that I mentioned it earlier just briefly, but that the moon goes through phases. Sometimes it's bright and it lights up the whole night. Like, you can literally walk by the light of the moon. Other times it's covered in shadow and you can't even see it. And, you know, after my best friend Gavi died and my dad died, I was in a little bit of a shadow for about two years.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Like, I was in quite this like, you know, a little bit of a situational depression. And I had kind of accepted that like, you know what? I think loss changes you and I think this is the new me. And I just need to get used to her. That rose tinted glasses version of myself, that kind of magical person, I think she's gone. And that, yeah, okay, this is me. And then after about two years, I just felt myself come back. It's like the eclipse was over and I was like, oh my gosh, it's not that I was gone. I was just covered up by a little bit of shadow. And that's okay. And that's why I was like, now think about like depression and all these things of like, they're ju- you know, or a hard weekend, they're not who you are.

• 54:44Speaker 01

  They're passing phases, whether it lasts two years because I lost the most important people of my life, or whether it's, you know, just for some reason, you're having a really hard time. Um, it doesn't matter, they're not who you are. And if you keep working on yourself and doing the things that you know help, whether it's dancing in your living room, or whether it's going to therapy, or, um, writing your gratitude journal, just like doing those things. If you keep working on yourself and living with hope, you will find your full light again, just like the moon always returns to its full light. And that's what the, this album Artemis kind of was all about. It was about coming to full light and expressing that. And, um, and it was also really fun because I wrote a comic book, like as a partner piece to the album. And I'm actually still working on, um, I, the first issue's out, but I'm working, it's

• 55:29Speaker 01

  a six series comic. But it was so fun to write, like inspired by characters and the theme and like, you know, this like story that, um, I got to develop. I think it's really important as an artist or as just a person, you know, sometimes we feel like we're running in a hamster wheel a little bit. It's like, okay, I mean, I like my hamster wheel and all, but like I've done this, like this was my fifth album. So I was like, how can I make my, my hamster wheel feel slightly new, you know? And, you know, it's not like I had to just be like, I'm done with music and I'm trying something else. It's like, no, I just need a slight shift to make this feel fresh. And for me, that did it for me, just having a story and a comic book and like writing a music almost as if it's a score for the comic book, just made it all feel really fresh and fun.

• 56:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that sounds so innovative. And I love the analogy of the moon because for me, it's like, that's such a beautiful way of looking at life. Like you don't judge the moon every day.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 56:21Jay Shetty?

  You don't go, oh no, it's a half moon today. Or like, oh no, it's covered today. Or like, oh no, it's full today. It's like, you realize that it goes through phases.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 56:29Jay Shetty?

  And it's the same with ourselves, like, we're gonna go through phases and you're gonna, you're gonna be full of light one day and one day you're not, and it's gonna come back around and.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  And it's okay.

• 56:38Jay Shetty?

  And it's okay.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  Every phase is okay.

• 56:40Jay Shetty?

  Every phase is okay. And every phase is still beautiful and useful and has a purpose. I don't think it would be. Possible for the climate for the moon to shine the same every day. Like, I don't, I don't actually think it would be scientifically possible for that to be a good thing. Because of, yeah, where it's gonna shine and movement. When you look at how the design of the universe is so perfect that

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 57:00Jay Shetty?

  If you, if you took it out of alignment of the way it is, actually it wouldn't be that way.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  Right, well, and as you were saying, like, some of the shadowy moments of your life, you know, metaphorically, they're the ones that taught you what you need to know. They're the ones that gave you, that gave me empathy. They're the ones that made me really dig my heels in and be like, I'm gonna work really hard. So no one ever tells me I sound like a drowned rat again. Like, you know, whatever those shadow moments are, they're important in your phases too. And they make you really appreciate, like, when you do get to fully shine, you know? And, and also, I just like that even when the moon is half-covered up, it's still shining.

• 57:36Jay Shetty?

  Still shining.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  It doesn't give up just because it's, you know, halfway covered.

• 57:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And shines in the areas that it can.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  It shines wherever it can, yeah. And we can do the same thing and we can all bring light to darkness. That was another thing I love about the moon. The fact that it's so brave and it faces the night, whether it's a full moon and it's like, I'm powerful, or whether it's a sliver, it still shows up to give all the light it can in the darkness.

• 57:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Wow, so much, so many beautiful lessons from the moon.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  I know, I love the moon.

• 58:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's special, yeah. You've, you've, I'm never gonna look at a moon the same way ever again.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  Me neither.

• 58:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, it's amazing, no, so beautiful. And I loved what you're doing about innovation. I love that, that even though this is your fifth album, it's not like, oh, now I've done music and I play the violin, maybe I'm gonna go learn how to play another instrument, or maybe we're gonna, and I'm gonna be a dancer, or, and, and there's nothing wrong if you did that, nothing wrong with any of that. But it's interesting to see how you can innovate in your space.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:28Jay Shetty?

  And actually, your creativity comes to life. And you innovated a virtual concert, right?

• 58:31Speaker 01

  Oh, I did!

• 58:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, tell us about that, that sounds like a

• 58:35Speaker 01

  It was so crazy. They had me in this whole, like, suit with all these little sensors all over them. It's like, um, and they created these, um, these really cool worlds for me to perform in. I was like a Lindsay avatar of myself. So I got to actually design it to be like my little Artemis character, you know, that I, that I made for the comic book. And I got to perform, um, Online as this avatar in this like futuristic cool world with, you know, and it's fun because, you know, in a live show, I can't be like, let me spin through petals and have them like float around me and like, let's have lightning go to the beat of the music. But like, you know, whatever we wanted, we could make it happen. So it was a virtual world. And it was just really fun to have fans live all over the world. They're tuning in from, you know, whether it was like some from Russia, some from South America, you

• 59:20Speaker 01

  know, some from LA. And it was just like all over the place. And, you know, getting to have that moment together was really just different. And also, it was really funny because, you know, I've done a lot of shows in my life now at this point, and doing a like, an actual concert to like, there was like hundreds of thousands of people watching. But yet I'd finish a song and it was just like six people in a room with me that were like, you know, it's like that energy of a concert. I kept having to remind myself like, oh yeah, all those little, I could see the dots of the people that were in there watching. Like, those are all people. They're all here, even though I can't see them. I can't feel their energy.

• 59:55Jay Shetty?

  They're clapping at home.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're hopefully clapping at home. Just with my manager and some of the like, the engineers, like, yay.

• 1:00:03Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Yeah. That's, I love, I love the innovation of it. I think that's awesome. I, I'm excited to see what you end up doing with like virtual reality or augmented reality. Are you into all that kind of stuff?

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  It's fascinating. It's really interesting to me. So I, you know, it is fun to think like, what is the next step for that? Like, how can, you know, how can music more be incorporated into that world? And who knows?

• 1:00:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think experiences for audiences are just so powerful and technology allows us to touch so many people that could never be in the room or could never travel.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  You know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, about, you know, just dealing with this thought in my mind of like, ah, social media provides such an opportunity to connect across the world and do so much good. It also, as we know, has such a power to do like, not good.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  And you know, we find ourselves sometimes trapped in these comparison like, you know, situations or like, you know, feeling bad about ourselves because everybody's showing their lives through filters and it seems real, but it's not. And I've really been thinking a lot lately. I'm like, am I a part of the problem of social media or am I a part of the good? And I think the answer for me after thinking about it more is like, okay, I think I do feed some of the problem because I, you know, I think I do some of the, a lot of the good. I try, but I was like, you know what? I'm sure my fans look at my pictures that are like from photo shoots or like my polished music videos when I like took

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  hours, literally hours to get ready, like my hair, my makeup, body spray, like, you know, I like look good when I show up on set, you know?

• 1:01:44Jay Shetty?

  Your music videos are amazing.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Thank you. I love making my videos and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm sure people compare themselves the same way I compare myself to people's filters. And that's not to say art is art. And you know, this is kind of the realization I've come to. It's okay. Like, I love makeup. I love playing with costumes and fun looks and expressing myself artistically in that. However, if I'm gonna do that, I need to be okay with the other side. I need, you know, for me. And so I've realized I've, I've made this new goal of trying to just showcase some unfiltered life online. And that's a little vulnerable for me because I don't have flawless skin. I still get like, I'm 33, I still get breakouts. Like what?

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  Everyone lied to me and said that was a teenager thing and it never got left behind. But you know, just showcasing and realizing that like, yeah, it's fun to get dressed up. It's fun to do all that artistic stuff, but it's only fun if you're okay without it. I think one of my favorite quotes is from Cool Runnings where the coach says, you know, a gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it. And so I, I love that movie.

• 1:02:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that movie.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  And so I've really been trying to make sure like, if I'm gonna do all this other stuff, I have to balance it. Like life has to be balanced. And if, because I also get used to seeing myself with these filters, whether it's like the funny filter with bunny ears that makes your skin flawless and like, ah, or whether it's like looking at myself through the lens of a music video, you know, I need to be okay looking at myself in the mirror and saying, I'm just as beautiful without all of that. And And it's funny, because when I do post like that, you know, my fans will say that's what I'm the most beautiful and I need to, I need to believe that. And also, I just want them to see that, like, I have frizzy, crazy hair and acne and like, all of that, like, so I've been thinking a lot about that lately of trying to make sure I'm not a part of the

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  problem of social media. And I, you know, and it's, I don't know, it's been a really interesting balance over the last like, two months to try to like, gauge for myself, personally and for my fans.

• 1:03:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, absolutely. And I, I really respect that. I think it takes a lot of, because there's, there's two sides to it as well. And this is kind of like, the balance that you're saying of like, we also don't want people to play down their lives.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:02Jay Shetty?

  So that we all settle for less.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:04Jay Shetty?

  You know what I mean? It's like, you want to be creative and you want to bring your art and you want to do body, and you want to look, and it's not like you're, I think that's the point, that you're not saying, oh, I look beautiful here, and I don't look beautiful here.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:15Jay Shetty?

  That's what we don't want. But we also don't want people to just settle and not be extravagant and not play for that, because there's art and beauty in that as well.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:04:23Jay Shetty?

  And, and I almost feel like, we don't want to create a culture, just as we don't want to create a culture that just celebrates filters.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:04:31Jay Shetty?

  We definitely don't. We also don't want to be a culture.

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  That only accepts.

• 1:04:35Jay Shetty?

  That only accepts. And when I'm saying average, I don't mean beauty or how you look, but it's like, creativity or passion or purpose, right? It's like that.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  It's that balance. And it's like, you know, I'm sure.

• 1:04:46Jay Shetty?

  There's no right answer.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  I'll go too far. And then I'll be like, I went too far. And then I'll go to, you know, it's, it's probably going to be an ever fluxing, you know, balance. But like I said, it's like, it's just as much for me, as it is for anyone else. It's like, because I find myself comparing to other people's filters. And we all do. So it's like, well, then I have to be really okay with myself.

• 1:05:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  Without the filter, so that I can love being that person that is behind the camera. Like, because if I love who's underneath all of that, then it's going to be all the more enjoyable to be like, dressed up with antlers on and in this crazy dress. And you know, as long as I'm okay with, without all of it.

• 1:05:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

• 1:05:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I love it. Yeah. And I think. We need to work, you know, that's, I think that's gonna be something we're all gonna get right and wrong every day.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:05:35Jay Shetty?

  It's a process for all of us.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Figuring it out.

• 1:05:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, figuring it out, like, it's the same for me. It's like, I wanna give as much content to remind people of the work we need to do.

• 1:05:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:05:43Jay Shetty?

  And at the same time, given of content that also says, celebrate who you are. And it's like, it's the both, right? Because you need to take a pause. There are days where I'm like, I just need to celebrate and be really grateful for a man. And they're like, no, I need to start working now, you know? It's, and you need both, and it's never right to just do either or. Because if you just celebrate it all day, you just be complacent.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Jay Shetty?

  And if you just were hard, tough love with yourself every day, you get worn out.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  That's the biggest challenge of life is balance. Like, and I guess, like, kinda like you said, it's just being able to listen to yourself and know what you need.

• 1:06:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  What is it time to do? Is it time to like, hit the pavement, run? Or is it a self-care day where I just gotta take care of myself and say, it's okay, you're doing good, like?

• 1:06:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  Or is it a tough love day where it's like, get up and go? I don't know. It's just, it's this ever-fluxing, like, ever figuring it out. And that's so funny, the way you put it of like, do I tell people to like, love themselves and use it, like, celebrate or go?

• 1:06:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. And, and with, with all your new music that you're creating, do you feel like this storytelling was what really brought it to be even more powerful to what it's ever been before? Like, the comic, the, the music videos? Like, I feel like there's just so many elements to how you keep challenging yourself in, in a positive way.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  Right. Well, it's funny, because I've always, see, I've realized, I'm more of a storyteller, I think, even than a musician. That's what drives my creativity, and it always has been. Like, a lot of times I get the music video idea first, and then I write the song, so that I can make the video. Because, I mean, I went to film school before I, I was gonna be a director, before I ended up realizing, actually, no, I wanna be a violinist, but I'll direct my own videos, you know? So I took like, the backdoor approach to directing. But yeah, and a lot of times it was always like kind of one off, like single stories like, okay, this song is about a ballerina that's stuck in a music box. And that was to symbolize like me breaking free from anorexia, like feeling like I was stuck in this like perfect porcelain, you know, facade of what everyone wanted me to,

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  or what I thought I needed to be, and then breaking free from it. Um, you know, and I've done some that were pirate themed or like steampunk and, but this album was really fun because it's like a continuous story. So I've already made like, you know, three music videos for it that kind of, you know, introduce the characters and then tell a little bit of the story, then introduce the villain. And then, you know, and right now I'm, I'm planning two more that I'm so excited about. One of them is like, you know, this beautiful ballroom dance that introduces the love story. And like, so it's been really fun to not just have these one off moments with like, okay, here's some characters and three minutes of, of a story. But it's like, no, this is introducing you to a world and like, you know, themes and um, something bigger than just little bite sized. And that's been really fun to like, you know, and also the

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  tour, it made the tour more fun because, you know, it's the Artemis tour and, you know, the, the stories kind of weave through the show, through instrumental music. It's kind of like, no one probably knows exactly what's going on, but they can feel it.

• 1:08:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. That's what I was gonna ask you. Like, I'm hoping that listening to this interview, my audience already knows you, already loves you and falls more in love with you. And my audience who doesn't know you is gonna go and listen to your new album. That's my hope and that's my wish. That's my recommendation to all of you. What, what is the feeling that you think people are going to get from this new album? Like, what is it as a listener, as a audience, when someone goes and listens to Artemis? Like, what are you hoping that they're gonna feel? And, and what is it gonna give them?

• 1:09:15Speaker 01

  You know, overall, so I kind of wrote the album where it starts a little more intense, and then it goes a little bit like to a like a sweeter feeling. And then it goes to like a super like, so the whole album, it's funny, no one listens to like albums back to front anymore like they used to, like when we would go and buy albums at the store.

• 1:09:33Jay Shetty?

  We're the same, yeah, same generation.

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  Listen to it front to back, you know, but I still take a lot of thought in like, how the album progresses. And even as I was writing, I would be like, we need a song to fill this gap because I don't have one that creates this emotion. So the whole album kind of like, takes you from like intensity to like, ah. But I always hope that when people come and, you know, to my show, or when they come to my YouTube channel and see a video, or if they're listening to my album, my biggest hope that people will feel, and I've always said this, light. Even before I had the whole Artemis theme, is I just hope that people will feel light, their own light, their own self-love, and feel empowered. And, you know, whether it's listening to the music, but especially at my shows, I just want people to leave and feel pumped and like, yes, I can do whatever I want in life.

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  Like, I can go out there. And I, like, I just want people to feel full of light and self-love when they come into my world. And, you know, that's my greatest hope, anyway. And...

• 1:10:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. I've always felt, listening to your music, that, and I'm recommending this to everyone who will go ahead and listen to the album too, like, I've always felt like this warm embrace from your music.

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 1:10:40Jay Shetty?

  Like, that's how it feels to me, at least.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  Well, thank you!

• 1:10:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's like a very, you know, comforting but not in a, comforting but not in a junk food kind of way. Like, you know, comforting in a soothing, calming, like, feeling understood, feeling, feeling more connected to yourself. Like, I've always felt that way when I've ever watched any of your work or listened to it as well.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  Thank you!

• 1:11:02Jay Shetty?

  So, that's, yeah, that's my personal experience. And I really, really hope everyone who's listening or watching will go and find it. Where's the best place that people can come and listen, learn, find out about you, whether it's your tours, your new album? Like, where's the best place?

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I think, for me, seeing an artist live,

• 1:11:19Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  Always, I don't know, I feel that's when I get to know an artist. And I, I hope that's how it is for my music as well. But I, I think that coming to see the live show, whether it's me or anyone else, it's just like, I get it. You know, you get to fully experience, like, a 360 version. So, I hope you guys come see me live. And if you're not sure if you want to come to the live show, if that's like too much commitment for where we're at, I understand. Come visit my YouTube channel. I, I think that's one of the best places that, you know, because I feel like my music is not just meant to be heard, it's meant to be seen. That's how I write, is I think of these stories. And so, I hope you at least check out my YouTube channel. And then, you know, if I win you over, come to my show.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  We'll be here, we'll be in the US in the summer and we'll be in South America and Russia this year. We're skipping, we're skipping around. I'm very excited.

• 1:12:10Jay Shetty?

  I love hearing that. Awesome. So Lindsay, we end every interview with a final five, which is our rapid fire, quick fire round, which means I ask a question, you have to answer in one word or one sentence maximum, no more than that.

• 1:12:21Speaker 01

  Okay. These always make me so nervous.

• 1:12:23Jay Shetty?

  Good, good, good, good. Okay. So here's your final five. The first question is, the best thing about collaborating with John Legend?

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  Classy. I felt classy.

• 1:12:37Jay Shetty?

  You felt classy, not that he's classy.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  Well, no, he's classy.

• 1:12:40Jay Shetty?

  He's classy. Yeah, classy is contagious.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Classy, contagious classy.

• 1:12:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Okay. All right. I love it. What's a question you wish more people would ask you?

• 1:12:49Speaker 01

  Spirituality.

• 1:12:50Jay Shetty?

  Okay. Wonderful. I hope we asked you that today.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  We did.

• 1:12:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Okay. Good. Question number three.

• 1:12:57Jay Shetty?

  What's one word you'd use to describe the violin?

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  Expressive.

• 1:13:04Jay Shetty?

  Nice. Good. These are good. This is very good. I'm very impressed.

• 1:13:07Speaker 01

  I like want to explain every word.

• 1:13:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I know you do. I know. And I get tempted and I'm like, no, let me hope. I always destroy this routine of, okay, when, when you're struggling to be creative, what's the one thing that gets you creative?

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Experiencing.

• 1:13:25Jay Shetty?

  Nice. I like, I want to ask you all that. I'm like, yeah, I'm holding back. Okay. And your fifth and final question, what's the best spiritual lesson you learned in the last 12 months?

• 1:13:39Speaker 01

  Love.

• 1:13:41Jay Shetty?

  Do you want to expand on that?

• 1:13:43Speaker 01

  Just that there is no pure way to experience spirituality than to just love people, love yourself. Just, I mean, I think that's the true essence of spirituality is that love connects us all. And like, when you really lead with love in your life, that's when you find the most magic, the most spirituality. And that's also when like, people are people, not objects, not, you know, something to be like gained from or, you know, lost from or whatever. Like people are, people are beautiful and they're people. And love, I think is the greatest connection for me to spirituality.

• 1:14:24Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Thank you, Lindsay.

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:14:27Jay Shetty?

  Lindsay Sterling, everyone. Make sure you go and follow her on YouTube, on Instagram. Go and check out her website. Go and listen to and download the new album, Artemis as well. Make sure you check it out. She's touring in the summer. So if this has made you feel the magic through a camera and through, if you have not been watching, but through listening, then please, please, please go and see her live. Lindsay, I hope I get to spend loads more time with you.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  I hope so.

• 1:14:50Jay Shetty?

  Like, I just, yeah, you're amazing. Like, literally, you're incredible. Like, I feel so personally inspired by just hearing you speak. Like, it's just, yeah, you have an incredible aura and energy, honestly. I'm not just saying that.

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:15:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I felt it.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 1:15:04Jay Shetty?

  Very personally today.

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  Likewise, I was so excited that, like, I could be here and have this conversation. I love listening to you. I, you know, I love following what you share and put into the world. And I just think it's inspired me a lot to seek of, how can I share more?

• 1:15:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, please do. You don't stop sharing the way you share.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:15:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we need more of it. Thank you, Lindsay. Thank you so much. Thanks, everyone, for listening and watching. Make sure that you share with us and tag me and Lindsay in your favorite takeaways from this episode. So if there's anything Lindsay said that stood out, that really resonated with you, make sure you post on your Instagram stories, on Twitter, on LinkedIn, on Facebook, wherever you post, and make sure you tag both of us as well in the post so that we can see, comment, and interact with you as well. Thank you again for being part of the On Purpose family, and I'll see you again next week.