Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens

Fridays just got a whole lot better and more unhinged. We're covering everything from dick pills to book clubs and male plastic surgery. sign up for our newsletter shop merch we wrote a book

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Cozy season is upon us, which is one of my favorites. I love a chill, crisp morning and I love opening the window and like feeling it on my face. I also love when it's raining and you're having a movie marathon. And that's why you also need Bombas to make your comfiest fall staples. Go with all your favorite fall things. So you can make the most out of one of the best seasons of the year. Like the new suede moccasins are perfect for fall with cushy soles, a sheerling lining, and water-resistant suede. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to somebody facing housing insecurity. Bombas truly is the best and I've replaced all my socks with Bombas. Head over to Bombas.com/gigglysquad and use code GIGGLYSQUAD for 20% off your first purchase.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

  That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash giggly squad, code giggly squad at checkout.

• 0:51Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Like so many people have my location.

• 1:00Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 1:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, oh, you got home, you're, you're calling the FBI.

• 1:08Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 1:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 1:25Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 1:33Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 1:38Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social, like I love everyone, but like.

• 1:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 1:42Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:56Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 2:03Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 2:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 2:07Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 2:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a T-shirt for real.

• 2:13Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 2:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 2:25Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 2:26Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 2:28Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 2:42Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you. This episode is sponsored by cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate.

• 3:28Hannah Berner?

  Start your search with cars.com. Where to next?

• 3:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Carrie, fix the wifi.

• 3:36Hannah Berner?

  Manifest our trip.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  We can't be managed.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:47Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my galactic gigglers? I'm saying, do I always say that?

• 3:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:51Hannah Berner?

  Okay, because someone ran up to me and they were like, what's up, galactic?

• 3:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you know what's funny is that's the only word that pops into my head and it's like not Giggly Squad coded at all.

• 4:00Hannah Berner?

  It's only G-word in the English language. Quote me.

• 4:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It's...

• 4:04Hannah Berner?

  Quote me. Check it.

• 4:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I want to bring something up immediately.

• 4:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, this is our first second episode.

• 4:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, right.

• 4:11Hannah Berner?

  Ever.

• 4:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, this is our first second episode.

• 4:13Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and I came with a lot of notes because I was worried we'd forget what to say.

• 4:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah came with a lot of notes because we hung out yesterday.

• 4:21Hannah Berner?

  Which was such a mistake. By the way, hanging out with us is not fun because we will bring something up, start laughing, and then one of us goes, "Hold it. Save it for camera." So then Dez is sitting there like, "Uh..."

• 4:34Paige DeSorbo?

  It's also not fun hanging out with us if you're not us.

• 4:38Hannah Berner?

  I thought you were gonna say, "In general."

• 4:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, in general, it's not because Dez was around, Joe was around, and they were just like, not speaking. And I was like, "I'm performing with my friend right now."

• 4:49Hannah Berner?

  Also, my thing is like, we're obviously laughing. Just add to the laugh. Just keep laughing with us.

• 4:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Throw in a joke. Why don't you participate?

• 4:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, why don't you tag it up?

• 4:57Paige DeSorbo?

  But anyways, so we're hanging out with Hannah. We're laughing hysterically. And then something happens and she like looks over at a table and there's a book on the table. And she goes, "Surely someone has been in here, broken in, stolen your stuff..."

• 5:13Hannah Berner?

  Keeping it raw.

• 5:15Paige DeSorbo?

  "...with other people's things."

• 5:17Hannah Berner?

  There was a Colleen Hoover book sitting on the table, which I know a man's not reading that book.

• 5:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I, here's the thing. Sorry that I want to better myself in 2026. And I just was like, "I don't read. I never read. I should read." And sometimes I get put on Book Talk and a girl was like, "This is the best book ever." And the only reason I picked the book I picked is because there's a movie coming out.

• 5:41Hannah Berner?

  This is my question. How much have you actually read it?

• 5:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I just got it.

• 5:47Paige DeSorbo?

  But when you saw it, it had just been delivered.

• 5:50Hannah Berner?

  I looked at it, looked up at her, and I looked at you like I caught you doing crystal meth. Like, I was like, "Do you want to talk about this? Like, does your family know? What kind of double life have you been living? Do I know who you are?"

• 6:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah literally looks at it and goes, "What the heck is..."

• 6:08Hannah Berner?

  No, I got like disturbed because everything I know about you, I question now. I'm like...

• 6:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't know what you were talking about. And I was like, "Oh, my God, what?" And I was like, "That's a book."

• 6:19Hannah Berner?

  Like, I don't know, I envisioned you, if you were to read, it would be a picture book or a pop culture magazine.

• 6:25Paige DeSorbo?

  A self-help.

• 6:26Hannah Berner?

  Self-help, or as we like to do, we just watch something on Netflix and put closed captions. And that's reading.

• 6:30Paige DeSorbo?

  You want to know what it really boils down to? I haven't felt this, and I love feeling better than people.

• 6:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 6:37Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, one of my favorite feelings.

• 6:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And I haven't felt that in a while.

• 6:44Paige DeSorbo?

  When it comes to movies and books. One of my favorite things to say is, well, I read the book. And I haven't been able to say it in about 15 years. So, I was like, oh, I know this movie's coming out. I'm gonna read the book so that when I see the movie, I can be like, well, it was a little different from the book.

• 7:01Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Actually, people who say that are so fucking smart, but I'm that person, you know, when they always go, oh, have you read the book? You have a couple of options.

• 7:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 7:09Hannah Berner?

  You can just say yes and lie and pray they don't have a follow-up question. Or you say no, and then they like, explain the book to you, which you don't want either. Or you do what I do, and I go, skimmed.

• 7:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Skimmed. Skimmed.

• 7:24Hannah Berner?

  I saw the first couple of parts.

• 7:25Paige DeSorbo?

  The last time I've legitimately been able to say, yeah, I read the book, was The Bridge to Tara Bethia in 2007.

• 7:32Hannah Berner?

  I'd say when I was younger, I was an avid reader, but it's-

• 7:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And my mom read it to me.

• 7:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Everyone's like, what's the second episode gonna be?

• 7:44Hannah Berner?

  The cool thing now, it's kind of like, okay, it's like a PR thing for celebrities who are really good-looking and want, like, respect, like, you know how, like, Nickelodeon kids will, like, do, like, a slutty movie to be like, I'm an adult now?

• 7:58Paige DeSorbo?

  What is that?

• 7:59Hannah Berner?

  It's rebranding, baby, rebranding 101.

• 8:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Why do they always, why, why are people so mad when like-

• 8:07Hannah Berner?

  When people grow up?

• 8:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, when like, like Sabrina Carpenter, I feel like, is like, the, a really good example, where she's like, I'm not on the Disney Channel anymore.

• 8:14Hannah Berner?

  Also, people don't choose where they start, like, just because you start somewhere, because that's your opportunity, doesn't mean it's like, should be engraved in your-

• 8:22Paige DeSorbo?

  People like putting people in a box.

• 8:23Hannah Berner?

  Exactly. So, there's all these, like, hot girls recently that are launching book clubs to show that they can read.

• 8:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it.

• 8:31Hannah Berner?

  One of them, Kaia Gerber.

• 8:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 8:33Hannah Berner?

  Another one, Olivia Ponton.

• 8:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 8:35Hannah Berner?

  Um, all gorgeous, stunning models who were like, by the way, join my book club. And you're like, oh, she's multi-dimensional.

• 8:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Are they meeting? Or this is like on the internet?

• 8:46Hannah Berner?

  Let's be honest, I've never clicked into a book club.

• 8:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, so you don't know the actual logistics of it.

• 8:51Hannah Berner?

  And the logistics stress me out, so I'm not sure.

• 8:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe I'll join Kaia Gerber's book club, you never know.

• 8:56Hannah Berner?

  Or maybe you, we're not doing a Giggly Book Club, we don't have the bandwidth.

• 9:00Paige DeSorbo?

  That's, that's actually, then I've really lost the plot.

• 9:03Hannah Berner?

  Actually, my mom, who's retired right now, has a book club. Um, actually, she has a knitting club and another club. She said knitting is the best gossip. Like, she gets there, all they do is gossip. And she couldn't go the last week, and she's like, I have so much to be.

• 9:16Paige DeSorbo?

  She's so behind.

• 9:17Hannah Berner?

  She's so behind on the gossip.

• 9:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, speaking of clubs, have you seen the Ashley Tisdale Cut article?

• 9:25Hannah Berner?

  Like, that was the book I wanted to read this week, the Cut article.

• 9:28Paige DeSorbo?

  That was the book I wanted to read.

• 9:29Hannah Berner?

  But Cut has such small font, it, it intimidates me. I, did you read the article?

• 9:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't read.

• 9:35Hannah Berner?

  I skimmed.

• 9:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I skimmed it. I skimmed the article. I didn't read the full article, but I read like a thing that did like a synopsis of it. And it was basically like, Ashley didn't say any names. She basically said how she felt after having a baby and then joining a mom club, and how it eventually turned into like.

• 9:55Hannah Berner?

  Or just like a friend group?

• 9:56Paige DeSorbo?

  It was like a friend group. Look, I'm not like fully abreast of like the mom club situation. But I know that that is like a real thing now.

• 10:07Hannah Berner?

  Like, did you have to get Haze to get in?

• 10:09Paige DeSorbo?

  People will have like Facebook groups in their area. And it's like, if you live in this like neighborhood, this is the group. And then you can like ask the moms different stuff. It sounds good in theory.

• 10:19Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 10:21Paige DeSorbo?

  But in reality.

• 10:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, friend group. That's why we only have each other as friends. Like, a friend group is so intense because there's just so many different personalities. Add in your hormonal, you like just had a baby. You hate your husband. You probably hate your husband. So she writes this article, which actually I thought was is cool of the cut to like have different celebrities like write. I love an op-ed. Yeah, like I think that's fun. So she writes this article. She basically, she does not say anyone's name. She does not say the reason, like the main reason why she left. She puts it all on herself like that. She didn't feel included. There were certain like situations where she felt like left out. I didn't feel included is saying like I was bullied. Yes. Hillary. This is our knitting club right now.

• 11:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Hillary Duff's husband. First of all, no one's talking about the fact that we're talking about a feud between Ashley Tisdale Sharpay Evans and Hillary Duff Lizzie McGuire. Like, I don't think we're putting enough emphasis on that. Also, like, I didn't know Hillary Duff had a husband. She has a husband. Yes. She has a husband and huge Hillary Duff fan. Love her. Love. Really like love her stuff. She had a song come out. Let's go. Love her work. I do think, and I feel the same way with like reality TV when the ladies get into fights. Anytime a husband jumps in, I'm always like. No. No. No. No, it's not your, like, you don't need to.

• 11:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you envision that like he was talking to Hillary about it and like? I was like, I'm just gonna post it. Or, yeah, and like maybe she felt a little hurt and then he felt like, well. I have to stick up for you. I'm gonna get involved. I'm gonna get involved. Um, he basically posted a comment that like was since deleted, but people obviously screenshotted it. Saying that Ashley Tisdale is like a narcissist, self-centered. Um, and like that she was the problem. But Mandy Moore was in this group. Um, there was one other famous person. Oh, the blonde, Meghan Trainor. Meghan Trainor, yes. Look at us. I'm like, wait, what was this mom club like though? What did you guys talk about before it failed? Okay, I have multiple thoughts. First of all.

• 12:37Hannah Berner?

  Who did Ash, do you think Ashley got really hurt and she was like, maybe other moms will

• 12:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Relate to this.

• 12:43Hannah Berner?

  Relate and feel less alone.

• 12:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Other moms have left mom groups, yes.

• 12:45Hannah Berner?

  Yes, but I guess at that level, you posting something and not naming names.

• 12:51Paige DeSorbo?

  People know.

• 12:52Hannah Berner?

  It, people, look.

• 12:53Paige DeSorbo?

  People know.

• 12:54Hannah Berner?

  People know. And even, we may not know.

• 12:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 12:58Hannah Berner?

  But they know. And it was enough to call, to cause a kerfuffle in the community.

• 13:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Ashley writing the article.

• 13:04Hannah Berner?

  I have to read the article.

• 13:06Paige DeSorbo?

  She knew what she was doing.

• 13:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 13:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, and I don't think it was a bad thing.

• 13:10Hannah Berner?

  She's hurt.

• 13:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. She was hurt and she wanted to express that she was hurt.

• 13:13Hannah Berner?

  Okay, you know what this needs? A reunion. You can host it. Let's get the girls together and let's talk it out.

• 13:19Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what it needs? You know what? Rather than reunions, I think we should start doing, and we'll bring this up to Hulu or Netflix or anyone who's interested. We should start doing more of like a Judge Judy thing.

• 13:31Hannah Berner?

  Okay, that's crazy you brought that up because you know how people always DM us with like issues and stuff? I'd love to like bring it on and like, they're fighting and we are, we will like pick sides.

• 13:41Paige DeSorbo?

  After you said on the pod the other day, like if you're gonna DM Paige about your boyfriend, it's done. I got so many DMs like, okay, I know I shouldn't be doing this, but just this one situation, what do you think? And I'm like, leave him.

• 13:55Hannah Berner?

  You, I feel like you were Judge Judy in another life.

• 14:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because, yeah. I used to watch Judge Judy all the time with my grandma.

• 14:04Hannah Berner?

  And when you like stayed home from school.

• 14:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just like, this bitch gets it.

• 14:08Hannah Berner?

  By the way, back to my mom's book club, um, she said it's the funniest thing ever because they all drink during it. So like.

• 14:18Paige DeSorbo?

  So you read the book and then you go to someone's house and you talk about the book?

• 14:21Hannah Berner?

  So, and you have like a month, it's once a month. You have a month or, and like different people choose the book. So like, she'll be like, oh, this month we're reading this. But now there's characters in this book club.

• 14:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Are there any times where you're like, didn't read it?

• 14:31Hannah Berner?

  That's the thing. I'm not gonna name names. But you know who you are.

• 14:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 14:37Hannah Berner?

  One of the moms is just there for the alcohol.

• 14:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:41Hannah Berner?

  But it is at her house, so everyone lets it go.

• 14:44Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, she hosts.

• 14:44Hannah Berner?

  She hosts, but then every now and then she gets a little too drunk and starts getting into opinions of the book and they're like, we know you didn't read it. You've never read a book. And she's like, but I disagree with your opinion.

• 14:54Paige DeSorbo?

  A classic 10th grade page.

• 14:56Hannah Berner?

  And you know, guess who's the most fun? She is. She is. But her husband.

• 15:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Giggly Squad is built on having opinions with no knowledge.

• 15:04Hannah Berner?

  Actually, people have asked me opinions on like how to do reality TV. And I was like, you just have to have a strong opinion, whether you care or not. That's how you're successful. Just get an opinion and lean into it, even if you're wrong.

• 15:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Even people asking like advice on podcasting. I'm like, I don't know what other people do, but I know that what we do should not be suggested.

• 15:27Hannah Berner?

  So this book club, her husband reads everything and loves it and it's at their house, but she's, you know, drinking. This is couples.

• 15:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 15:37Hannah Berner?

  Couples. So they all come.

• 15:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Are your parents swingers? It's giving swinging season.

• 15:43Hannah Berner?

  It's middle of the day too. And all these couples come together and they've read the book. And my mom, you know, she's a teacher. She's an avid reader. She's read it. She has an analysis.

• 15:54Paige DeSorbo?

  She's marked pages.

• 15:55Hannah Berner?

  My dad tries to, he always falls, every, every month he says, I'm gonna read it. He falls off, which, you know, like many of us, it's where I get it from. Um, so yeah, book clubs, clubs, I think are back. Bring clubs back.

• 16:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Just trying to rack my brain on what fucking club I would ever join at the ripe age of 33. There's not a single club you could get me into right now.

• 16:17Hannah Berner?

  Actually, you're right. When I was younger, I did love like a volleyball club for socializing.

• 16:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. You've been really going to like Pilates classes though. And I feel like you have like friends there. Like you know, like whatever place you go to, you know, people there.

• 16:34Hannah Berner?

  Let's just say, when I walk in, when I walk in, I get the.

• 16:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You're gonna nod.

• 16:39Hannah Berner?

  I get a nod. And then someone's a little like, I'm like, the bathroom's over there. Like I know what's going on.

• 16:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 16:44Hannah Berner?

  But I have to say, I did, um, faint in my last Pilates class. No one knows, because I'm, we're never telling.

• 16:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Please tell this story because it's so me.

• 16:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, when you told me this story, I was shocked.

• 16:58Hannah Berner?

  So I also, I think I, I hadn't eaten. And when I say I hadn't eaten, I think I just had one breakfast. Like, I think it was like around lunchtime.

• 17:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, all I had was a burrito, a churro, and then I had some French toast.

• 17:10Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:10Paige DeSorbo?

  So you had breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

• 17:11Hannah Berner?

  I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I showed up, but I was feeling kinda hungry, but I was like, I could do this. And the teacher was tough.

• 17:19Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's like a regular Pilates class, or is this like a Pilates, like, fusion?

• 17:23Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I've never done this kind. There's, you know where there's the second machine? It's called like the octagon or something. It's called like the guillotine. It's like, and it has like fur.

• 17:33Paige DeSorbo?

  The one that has the bar thing? Yeah, the fur things for your, like, yeah.

• 17:36Hannah Berner?

  Handcuffs. And I was just like, I'm about to get fucked up. Like, I knew it.

• 17:40Paige DeSorbo?

  It's sponsored by UG Australia.

• 17:42Hannah Berner?

  This is how I knew I was gonna get fucked up, because the teacher was like gorgeous, skinny, and pregnant.

• 17:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I would've walked out. The motivation just inside that woman's pinky, I could never relate.

• 17:59Hannah Berner?

  She had two abs above her belly, and she looked at me and I said, you're about, you're about to be disgusted by what's gonna happen.

• 18:06Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, and how far along are you?

• 18:10Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, it was just a burrito.

• 18:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, imagine you accidentally go to like a Lamaze Pilates class?

• 18:16Hannah Berner?

  What is that?

• 18:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, I made that up, but like Lamaze is like when you go and like learn how to breathe when you like give birth.

• 18:23Hannah Berner?

  Yes, yes.

• 18:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sure there's somewhere in California, they have like Pilates slash Lamaze.

• 18:29Hannah Berner?

  You just know, like, and also she was like nine months, and she was just standing there, and it was like her fourth class of the day, and she's like, good morning, how are you? And I was like, just a little.

• 18:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Her legs like by her head, and she's like, how are you? Take a seat anywhere.

• 18:42Hannah Berner?

  She was gorgeous to the point that I was gonna ask her like what mascara she used, and I looked and I'm like, oh, it's just her natural, her natural, um, lashes. So we start, and I was like.

• 18:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Our class, forty-five minutes.

• 18:55Hannah Berner?

  Fifty minutes?

• 18:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 18:57Hannah Berner?

  And I was, I wanted her to be proud of me. Like, you know, some instructors, you're like, whatever, they think I suck, I don't care. For whatever reason, I wanted her to be proud of me, and I wanted her, I mean, she literally should be at home with her baby, and she's with me. So, and there was another girl in the class, so it ends up, it was supposed to be a full class, just two girls, so you know, yeah, it got intense.

• 19:15Paige DeSorbo?

  You had a private Pilates class with a pregnant lady?

• 19:21Hannah Berner?

  The pregnant lady was instructor.

• 19:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 19:25Hannah Berner?

  And then the other girl was like, perfect.

• 19:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 19:27Hannah Berner?

  And me. Hey guys.

• 19:31Paige DeSorbo?

  When you told me this story the other day, you made it seem like you were in a mat, like a big class and no one saw you slip out to go pass out. I didn't realize it was you and another person. Were you just like, sorry, I have to go faint alone somewhere?

• 19:44Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so the first 30 minutes you do at the guillotine.

• 19:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 19:47Hannah Berner?

  And I like did okay. And I was like, kind of feeling myself got a little cocky.

• 19:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:51Hannah Berner?

  Go to the second machine and there's this thing called pikes. If you don't know what a pike is. It's a plank that then you bring your butt up in the air, like a triangle and your head down.

• 20:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 20:02Hannah Berner?

  And we just kept doing pikes, like to the point where I was like, this is how I die.

• 20:07Paige DeSorbo?

  And the blood's like rushing to your head.

• 20:09Hannah Berner?

  Rushing to my head. So I think I was like shaking my head. So then we get up and we have to put our leg on this wooden, this is, the contraptions are be, I was like, who, what sick fuck invented this?

• 20:20Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a guy invented Pilates.

• 20:22Hannah Berner?

  Joe, Joseph. So it's this.

• 20:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Is that his name? Joseph Pilates?

• 20:26Hannah Berner?

  Joseph Pilates. He's Italian. No, I'm just kidding. Joey Pilates. So it's this wooden thing. Have you ever seen that swivels? So you have to put your foot on this thing that swivels and then put your leg on the machine and try to keep your foot from swiveling. That threw me into a tailspin. I felt really out of control. And the next thing you know, I started to get lightheaded. And by the way, it's me and one other girl. Like she's, and also it was the kind of thing where like, you know, you want to do it right, but you literally can't. And then the instructor's like lifting. I'm like, I know what I should be doing. I literally can't do this right now. So I'm like.

• 21:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, once one body part starts shaking, you're like, and I'm done for it. Like you can't, I can't undo that.

• 21:07Hannah Berner?

  Also, body parts are shaking that aren't even working hard. So I'm like fully like a baby deer, just trying to do this exercise. And then I think I scared myself because I was like, I'm scared. And then I got lightheaded and then I started having like a mini panic attack. And then you know.

• 21:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Because you're scared you're gonna pass out.

• 21:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And then you know, when you're watching yourself have a panic attack.

• 21:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:30Hannah Berner?

  Looking around like.

• 21:31Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, no one's noticing that inside I'm dying. No, there's some, did your vision go? That's always like my first indication.

• 21:39Hannah Berner?

  It always like wow, wow, wow. So in that moment. I had a bunch of different voices. I said, Hannah, suck it up. You're doing Pilates.

• 21:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:46Hannah Berner?

  A pregnant lady is bossing you around. You could do this. Then a part of me was like, call 911, like call the police.

• 21:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You just start smiling like Lenore. You're like, it hurts less if you smile.

• 21:58Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what I actually did? Now I remember because I blacked it out. I started just messing with my socks. I started getting off the machine, just messing with my socks.

• 22:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, oh, I'm just like fixing something.

• 22:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, my sock is like off.

• 22:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you have water?

• 22:11Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but it was also like, the other girl was fine. I mean, the other girl was like breezing. She was like, this is easy. So I messed with both my socks. I've ran out of sock options. I can't think of another sock to mess with. And I know the instructor, it's not like I'm in a big class.

• 22:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Some finance bro should come out with a line of socks and name it sock options. Like stock options? Anyway, email me later about it.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so you're like, I've fiddled with enough socks. I need a game plan here.

• 22:43Hannah Berner?

  So I just go, I have to go to the bathroom.

• 22:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 22:46Hannah Berner?

  So.

• 22:47Paige DeSorbo?

  How many minutes are left in the class at this point?

• 22:49Hannah Berner?

  Who, you know when you don't even, like, you're like, this could be another hour. I think there was like 20 minutes left. So I go to the bathroom, I shut the door, and I just fall on the floor.

• 22:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 23:00Hannah Berner?

  Best feeling of my life.

• 23:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 23:01Hannah Berner?

  Laying down on a cold stranger's bathroom floor. Nothing like it. I mean, I was at peace for the first time in my life, some would say. My whole life went flashing by me. It saw me as a child playing with butterflies.

• 23:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Now imagine a D1 redhead saying, oh, do you feel like you're gonna pass out? Head towards the stage. In that exact moment. And you're like, all I want is a tile floor.

• 23:30Hannah Berner?

  I'm lying there and I'm just, I'm getting my breath. And in that moment, I know if I can get it together pretty quick, I still can get out of this without making a scene. Like it could.

• 23:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Why wouldn't you just say, guys, I'm gonna literally pass out?

• 23:44Hannah Berner?

  Because I have, that is such a great question. I could not admit that like I was falling apart.

• 23:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Interesting.

• 23:52Hannah Berner?

  And that's my childhood.

• 23:53Paige DeSorbo?

  See, okay.

• 23:54Hannah Berner?

  Cause then I'm, I'm not a good person.

• 23:56Paige DeSorbo?

  This is where we're different.

• 23:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 23:57Paige DeSorbo?

  When something traumatic happens to us, you're like, no, it didn't. No one noticed it. I'll deal with it later. Where I'm like,

• 24:05Hannah Berner?

  I'll deal with this in 10 years.

• 24:07Paige DeSorbo?

  People should be arrested because I'm feeling attacked.

• 24:11Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's funny, you're like, they're the problem or me, I'm like, I'm the problem.

• 24:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm immediately like, you're the problem.

• 24:16Hannah Berner?

  I'm, I'm the one who has an issue. So I'm laying down and then I realized like, I can tell her I have my period. Like I could start coming up with all these lies. Like God forbid, I just say, I got lightheaded in your class. I'm sorry. And I'm like, I have a reputation uphold in this town.

• 24:30Hannah Berner?

  I get up and I start washing my hands and I realize, wait, I feel,

• 24:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 24:35Hannah Berner?

  Okay. Like I think, you know how like,

• 24:37Paige DeSorbo?

  The cold water actually on your wrist probably.

• 24:38Hannah Berner?

  I also feel like I didn't go into a full panic attack. You know, when you feel it coming on and you're like, not today, motherfucker. I've had that before where you feel it and then you go, I can get out of it now. And I wish I could give you guys good advice besides laying on the bathroom floor, but that's what did it for me.

• 24:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 24:52Hannah Berner?

  Get back like nothing happened. Just kept going.

• 24:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow. You just had like, then you were just like dehydrated. You weren't like,

• 25:00Hannah Berner?

  I'm starving.

• 25:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Having.

• 25:02Hannah Berner?

  I ate a french fry. I came back in.

• 25:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, did you tell your mom this story?

• 25:06Hannah Berner?

  No, I don't want her being worried about me.

• 25:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God.

• 25:09Hannah Berner?

  But she'll call me afterwards. She'll call me afterwards and I would be like, mom, that's why I have to eat seven meals a day. So I don't faint.

• 25:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's why I don't go to potties anymore, you know?

• 25:18Hannah Berner?

  But anyway.

• 25:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyhow, this episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's creme bars in salted caramel and affogato. Lately I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around two o'clock. Whether that's making a pick me up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's salted caramel and affogato creme bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day. And this is a classic Hershey's milk chocolate layered with a salted caramel or affogato creme filling.

• 26:02Paige DeSorbo?

  So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's creme bars in salted caramel or affogato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work, outfit. Leading a meeting, outfit. Getting drinks with your friends, obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with alleys from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes.

• 26:46Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so cute, and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer, and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season, it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready-to-wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically, you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night. Because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt.

• 27:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15. Lola blankets was definitely one of my number one purchases this past year. I have so many different blankets from them, and Kitty loves their pet bed. Lola is just one of those products where the second someone touches it, they immediately understand the hype. Daphne is immediately making biscuits every time I pull out one of the blankets, and I can always find her resting in her bed. The Lola pet bed is designed with the same signature ultra-soft faux fur, but built specifically for your pet with an orthopedic foam base that supports their joints and helps them rest more comfortably. It's incredibly plush, holds its shape, and helps regulate temperature

• 28:13Paige DeSorbo?

  so your pet stays cozy year-round. The cover is removable and machine washable, and it's completely shed-free, and made with durable double stitching, so it actually holds up over Time. It's a win-win and your pet gets the coziest bed ever and you finally get your Lola blanket back. For a limited time, our listeners can get 40% off select Lola Blankets products with code giggly at checkout. Just head to LolaBlankets.com and use code giggly to get 40% off your order. After your purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know that the Giggly Squad sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola Blankets. Giggly Squad, as we know, is a sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if you've ever had intrusive thoughts, you're not alone.

• 28:58Paige DeSorbo?

  For millions of people, it's not just anxiety, that's OCD, and most of them have no idea. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. And these thoughts can feel very real, which makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment. NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live, face-to-face, virtual sessions, with support between sessions so you're never facing OCD alone.

• 29:42Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NoCD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at learn.noCD.com/giggly.

• 29:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, wait, can we just, you have something?

• 29:55Hannah Berner?

  Well, I just want to talk about men.

• 29:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we built a whole career on it.

• 30:00Hannah Berner?

  And I feel like this is one thing we haven't talked about men, which is hard to find, but their bathroom.

• 30:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Their bathroom breaks.

• 30:09Hannah Berner?

  Their bathroom breaks. Cause I didn't realize this was a thing.

• 30:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:13Hannah Berner?

  Some men are fast with it, but there is an epidemic out there. When, when men take poops, they make it.

• 30:21Paige DeSorbo?

  A ritual.

• 30:22Hannah Berner?

  A ritual. They make it like main character energy. They take a whole business day.

• 30:25Paige DeSorbo?

  They put it like on their calendar.

• 30:27Hannah Berner?

  You like can't contact them during it.

• 30:29Paige DeSorbo?

  And they also, um, they do this thing where they like slip away.

• 30:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, you know, like, they're like, I'll be right back. Like, they, and you're like, okay.

• 30:40Hannah Berner?

  And then four hours go by.

• 30:41Paige DeSorbo?

  And you're like, wait, what happened in there?

• 30:44Hannah Berner?

  And I feel like mothers probably deal with this, where like, you have kids running around and your husband disappears because he has to poop. Which, I'm gonna be honest.

• 30:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't tell you the last time I took a regular.

• 30:55Hannah Berner?

  An healthy stool. How nice must it be?

• 30:59Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so fucking easy being a man. Like, they're regulated, their, their hormones are never going crazy.

• 31:05Hannah Berner?

  But this is the thing, they're not like, in my head, it's like, oh, they're taking like, these huge massive poops that take forever. I don't look.

• 31:12Paige DeSorbo?

  They're on their phone.

• 31:13Hannah Berner?

  They're on their phone.

• 31:13Paige DeSorbo?

  They're just getting away from.

• 31:15Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Which, yes, that's what I did during Pilates, but men do it all the time. I even think like, at work, like, they're, first of all, they're getting paid more anyway. And then they're spending two hours in the bathroom at work.

• 31:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Which I do commend to anyone that can go to the bathroom in a public place. Like, talk about having a panic attack, I'll have to lay on the floor. Like, I remember growing up, even being in school, like, I've went home sick before because I'm like, Mom, I really just have to go to the bathroom.

• 31:43Hannah Berner?

  So I'm in a lot, I'm in a lot of public bathrooms.

• 31:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 31:46Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love that you had to go home. Or to pee.

• 31:51Paige DeSorbo?

  There are so many times in high school, like, that my mom would be at work and I would call my grandma and I'd be like, you have to call the school.

• 32:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And she'd be like, I'm not even your mom. And I'd be like, call now.

• 32:03Hannah Berner?

  In my head, public bathrooms, like, that's where I go off. Like, I'm not disrespecting.

• 32:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I get too, like, nervous.

• 32:11Hannah Berner?

  I also feel like that's a bathroom's a floor and I have to, like, but I also, I don't, I can't hold it in.

• 32:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 32:16Hannah Berner?

  I'm just, I can't be fake. Sorry, I can't be fake. So I'm a real one. But I also, I don't know, I feel like with the, the men with the bathroom, it's, um, they get respect when they, like, you give them respect.

• 32:27Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like football Sundays.

• 32:29Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 32:29Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, oh, sorry.

• 32:31Hannah Berner?

  My mom has to use the bathroom with the door open, just in case a kid, like, wants to jump off a table.

• 32:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 32:37Hannah Berner?

  God forbid.

• 32:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't even, I, as a child, I can't even remember my mom using the bathroom.

• 32:43Hannah Berner?

  My mom wasn't allowed to use the bathroom.

• 32:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think she ever showered. I think for 14 years, the woman stayed unshowered and never peed.

• 32:50Hannah Berner?

  My recent issue, because I have a lot of public, I'm always in airports, I'm all, I'm at rest, I'm whatever. I always run into a giggler in the bathroom.

• 33:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop.

• 33:00Hannah Berner?

  It happens every day.

• 33:04Hannah Berner?

  And also, I'm always talking. So everyone's like, we can hear you.

• 33:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I was gonna say, you're always talking so people can recognize your voice. Where I feel like when I'm out, they're like, is that, are you? And I'm like, yes.

• 33:14Hannah Berner?

  And also, if I'm with Dez, he's like, big and white haired. So he's like a shining light and everyone sees him. But like even yesterday at the Pilates class, in the bathroom. Well, first of all, I can't find the bathroom. I'm like walking down the hallways and someone's like, hey, I'm a giggler. The bathroom's over here, you dumb fuck. And I was like, I love you. Thank you.

• 33:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you go, did you tell her that you fainted in it?

• 33:36Hannah Berner?

  That was pre-faint.

• 33:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Got it.

• 33:37Hannah Berner?

  Now that I think about it.

• 33:39Paige DeSorbo?

  So when you went back into the room, did the pregnant instructor or the other girl taking the class be like, are you okay?

• 33:45Hannah Berner?

  No, I didn't make eye contact. I just kept going.

• 33:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, so they had no idea?

• 33:49Hannah Berner?

  No. Actually, it's funny, my memory, they probably were like, yeah, that girl had a full breakdown mid-class and then didn't say anything. But um, no, I go into the bathroom before the class and this giggler was like so nice. We were laughing, having fun. And then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go in the stall. And then we have to like use the bathroom next to each other. And obviously, it's like pre-Pilates, you gotta get the stuff out. And I'm like, oh my God, am I ruining?

• 34:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my God.

• 34:13Hannah Berner?

  She thought I was cool. And then I like farted in the bathroom.

• 34:15Paige DeSorbo?

  She's texting her friend. She was like, I just met Hannah and she's shitting next to you.

• 34:21Hannah Berner?

  Everyone has, if you have a bathroom story with me, that's a, I don't know, I think it's a beautiful um, connection.

• 34:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I was just looking at our notes and sometimes like Grace will write notes too. Like, oh, this was like funny. I saw like you guys should talk about it. But she wrote a note and I'm like, we, I'm like worried.

• 34:38Hannah Berner?

  I was writing in Grace's notes.

• 34:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, uh, cause I was like, this is so not Grace. She wrote, when people mistreat you, it's because they think you're, you're better than them. And they want to bring you down to their level, no matter how much status or power they have, they are insecure. Like Grace, are you going there? Really? I literally read it and I was like.

• 34:59Hannah Berner?

  Grace would never, first of all, Grace doesn't care what other people think about her.

• 35:02Paige DeSorbo?

  At all.

• 35:03Hannah Berner?

  At all. I, that was our mental health moment.

• 35:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it, but what a word salad. Cause I was real, I almost texted Grace this morning like, hey, is everything good at home?

• 35:14Hannah Berner?

  No, it was, if people mistreat you, no matter.

• 35:20Hannah Berner?

  Seriously, but when you're treated bad, you you sometimes don't realize that it is just them projecting on you. And but then, you know, when you're treated bad by like a boss or someone who's like considered, you know, higher status or cooler, like in high school, some someone who thinks they're cool is mean to you. And you actually realize it's because they see something in you that you don't see in yourself and they're insecure and they want to bring you down. And that's honestly the biggest compliment ever. And now that I think every time I felt someone was mean to me, I'm like, that was a compliment.

• 35:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it is. It really is.

• 35:52Hannah Berner?

  Like if no one's mean to you, like you're not doing enough.

• 35:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. If no one's mean to you, it sounds like you're being mean to people. You're the meanie.

• 36:02Hannah Berner?

  You're the meanie.

• 36:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a quote that was like, I don't think I'm better than you. You think I'm better than you and that's why you hate everything I do. And I was like, oh, my God, yes.

• 36:14Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God. Well, also, at the end of the day, most people aren't fucking thinking about you. So everyone needs to come, not in general.

• 36:23Hannah Berner?

  With other people, how they think about you. It's like they're worrying about.

• 36:26Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I like, actually, not to bring it back to Pilates. But whenever I do go to a Pilates class, like or any workout class or like just the gym, I'm like going in, I'm like, oh, my God, everyone's looking at me because I'm doing it wrong or like everyone is so like judging me or whatever, but they're not because everyone's thinking about themselves. And it's like, no one's thinking about me because I'm thinking about me.

• 36:50Hannah Berner?

  Exactly. And our last mental health moment of the day, which Grace actually did write.

• 36:56Hannah Berner?

  Chelsea Handler. Oh, no, I had another one. I added.

• 37:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Why are you writing under Grace?

• 37:03Hannah Berner?

  Well, Grace wrote something kind of inspirational and then I wanted to keep it all together. Look, don't don't worry about my methods. The message to my madness. Um, this is a real mic drop. How can it be unrealistic if other people have it?

• 37:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I reposted that on TikTok.

• 37:20Hannah Berner?

  Oh, sorry. Oh, so you actually wrote it?

• 37:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I wrote it.

• 37:24Hannah Berner?

  The last one, shout out to Chelsea Handler, who just...

• 37:28Paige DeSorbo?

  That just made me think of like, that's why you like saying, oh, I read the book? Because it feels like you wrote it. Like, you wouldn't get it because you haven't read this masterpiece? You've only experienced the movie?

• 37:41Hannah Berner?

  I wrote it with the author. It was a co-wrote. It was a collab.

• 37:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I was asked like, what I wanted to put in?

• 37:47Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I'm the only person that's ever read this book.

• 37:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, sorry, keep going.

• 37:51Hannah Berner?

  Chelsea said, "We neglect to reflect about how far we've come. Don't forget your younger self is always with you." So that's just a cute moment.

• 37:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, I think the world isn't giving enough credit to now only women host award shows.

• 38:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because we are socially aware and we know how to like, be funny without like, hurting people.

• 38:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 38:15Hannah Berner?

  Because we have empathy.

• 38:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't wait to watch Nikki Glaser do Golden Globes again.

• 38:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, Chelsea could do it in her sleep. Nikki can do it in her sleep. It's true.

• 38:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so, I'm so anxious to see who they get for the Oscars. Because I also feel like no one is even...

• 38:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I haven't seen any articles or headlines or anything about how like, women are dominating hosting award shows.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  Amy Poehler, except Amy's too busy. Like, Amy doesn't want to, probably.

• 38:49Paige DeSorbo?

  People still talk about Amy Poehler and Tina Fey hosting or presenting.

• 38:52Hannah Berner?

  See, they're exhausted. They're like, we can't do this all the time. But you know what I also don't like? The Oscars as a man. They get a man for the Oscars and the two smallest award shows, they give to the women.

• 39:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I never thought of that. Because like, the last guy I can think of hosting the Oscars...

• 39:08Hannah Berner?

  Conan, last Oscars.

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, he did?

• 39:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 39:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't remember that. Did he do a good job?

• 39:15Hannah Berner?

  We were busy during that. I think he, well Conan's likable, like Conan's fine.

• 39:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like the last time a guy hosted it when I was like, he was funny was like Ricky Gervais.

• 39:25Hannah Berner?

  They loved like-

• 39:26Paige DeSorbo?

  And they like would never have him back.

• 39:28Hannah Berner?

  They liked Jimmy Kimmel, they liked Trevor Noah. But um.

• 39:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, did I black out? When the hell did Trevor Noah host the Oscars? I don't remember that at all.

• 39:38Hannah Berner?

  There was a time where he hosted like every award show. He was like the guy. But by the way, hosting an award show is-

• 39:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't imagine.

• 39:45Hannah Berner?

  Is very difficult. I think Chelsea's so good at it because she knows everyone for so long, like-

• 39:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:51Hannah Berner?

  So it's, it's so much easier saying a joke to your friend-

• 39:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:56Hannah Berner?

  Than a joke to someone who you're literally like, I can't believe I'm making eye contact with this person right now.

• 39:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I just think it's funny that like when the men do host, it's like, oh my God, Kevin Hart's hosting. Oh my God, Kevin Hart said no to hosting. And like there's no, it's never like a big deal-

• 40:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 40:10Paige DeSorbo?

  About, like, people I really feel like didn't make a big enough deal that it was Nikki's first time ever hosting an award show.

• 40:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and she crushed it.

• 40:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And she crushed it.

• 40:19Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 40:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Like if that was a guy, they'd be like, he is just the best host of all time.

• 40:24Hannah Berner?

  The best stand up of all time.

• 40:28Hannah Berner?

  Have you seen the Cher interview?

• 40:33Hannah Berner?

  She, I love how she comes out of nowhere-

• 40:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And now we've said it.

• 40:36Hannah Berner?

  And just lays down the law. I'm obsessed with her.

• 40:41Paige DeSorbo?

  If you haven't seen the clip, Cher's on the, what is the name of Dax's, Armchair Expert? On Dax Shepard's podcast, which people love. He does have a great podcast. He always has like good, interesting guests and stuff. And so Kristen Bell was on and Cher was on and they were talking about like how, what a good relationship they have because they did like the movie Burlesque. And then Dax asked Cher, who would be your dream guy for Kristen? Like who do you think would be better suited with her?

• 41:12Hannah Berner?

  Which is him basically saying, I know that you think-

• 41:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:16Hannah Berner?

  I'm not good enough for her.

• 41:17Paige DeSorbo?

  And he did say, he was like, I know you think she could do better, which I don't disagree with, but who in your head would you like think? And Cher was like, I have no idea. Like I have not thought of a specific person. But then she goes, I trust Kristen so much that if she loves you, there must be something about you that I'm not seeing, which is-

• 41:43Hannah Berner?

  Incredible.

• 41:44Paige DeSorbo?

  If I was Dax, I would have been like, okay, and I gotta go.

• 41:48Hannah Berner?

  Cause she's basically saying, if you don't have the greatest dick alive, which you probably don't, you should not be with her. But also I love that. I feel like he was too scared to have her on alone. He needed to bring Kristen because she's like, close with her.

• 42:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:05Hannah Berner?

  To do a one-on-one.

• 42:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I do think, like, I feel like Kristen was like, oh shoot, like, is she gonna say in actual person? Like, you could tell that Kristen got like a little anxious, which like, obviously. And then when Cher said it, she like laughed and was like, that was great. And they were like, clip this.

• 42:21Hannah Berner?

  This isn't directly pointed at Dax because we love men in the arts, but I just have to say a shout out in general for older.

• 42:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Of all the men that have podcasts, I do enjoy, like, I've listened to his, I do enjoy his the most of. Sometimes it's like two guy-ish and I'm almost like, I don't even understand that reference. And like, I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about.

• 42:43Hannah Berner?

  Philippians?

• 42:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, okay, what is Cialis?

• 42:50Hannah Berner?

  I almost got stuck in a conversation where men were talking about air conditioning and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here.

• 42:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what isn't talked about enough? It's like, you can get like boner pills, like the gas station. Like, oh, okay, there's tax on tampons, but let's make sure you can get hard at 7-Eleven. That's inappropriate.

• 43:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, one thing we need less of is hard men. If you're soft, you're soft for a reason. That's the universe. Sorry, whatever happened to Darwinism? You think Darwinism wanted dick pills at 7-Eleven? No.

• 43:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, actually, guys say that, like, they're really dangerous, like, you should not take this. Because once I, I saw them and I was like, what is that?

• 43:30Hannah Berner?

  What if I accidentally took it because I thought it was like for UTI?

• 43:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think it would do anything.

• 43:37Hannah Berner?

  We'll see. We'll try it later. We'll keep you guys posted.

• 43:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Cannon Page, try Cialis.

• 43:43Paige DeSorbo?

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• 44:27Paige DeSorbo?

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• 45:12Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I've been loving the Ladder app. I can open it and my workout is already planned and I can do it anywhere. You have an expert coach and you know exactly what exercises you're doing, how many sets, how many reps. And the in-ear coaching gives you cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like you have a personal trainer in your headphones. I've been using this for a while now and I also feel and see myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now. So that will definitely be my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets, because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether I'm doing it all correctly. Plus you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last.

• 45:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything is planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use our link to get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

• 46:17Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy. So that part is already handled in the background.

• 47:00Hannah Berner?

  So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 47:11Paige DeSorbo?

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• 47:57Paige DeSorbo?

  So cutting out coffee is just not an option for me when it comes to whitening my teeth. And a good smile is kind of like a great outfit. You don't always know why someone looks put together. You just know that they do. I love that Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste works on those everyday stains while still being enamel safe for daily use. It's proof that daily routine can be remarkable. That's the science of wow. Colgate Optic White.

• 48:22Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say, though, with men, older men, who do plastic surgery, there's like another level of sickness to it when it comes out, like it doesn't look good. Cause I'm like, first of all, you don't even have societal standards making you have bad plastic surgery. Like women who have bad plastic surgery, I'm like, let her live.

• 48:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:43Hannah Berner?

  She's doing her best. When men get bad plastic surgery, I'm like, you didn't even need this. And you fucked it up?

• 48:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:50Hannah Berner?

  How did we get here, bro?

• 48:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:52Hannah Berner?

  And some of these-

• 48:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Who are you, are you referring to anyone specific? Because I have one person in my head.

• 48:59Hannah Berner?

  Not kind of, there's just some guys who are older and looking funky. Like they haven't figured it out yet.

• 49:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like Bradley Cooper.

• 49:09Hannah Berner?

  Bradley Cooper.

• 49:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I feel like he did something and I'm like, they messed it up a little. There, you're just something slightly off.

• 49:17Hannah Berner?

  As someone who loves the look of an older man.

• 49:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:20Hannah Berner?

  I wanna see those wrinkles. I wanna see the pain you've been through in your life.

• 49:24Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Bradley Cooper has been hot for like thirty years. He's so like-

• 49:28Hannah Berner?

  But yeah, Bradley would be so hot as an older, chiseled, tired man.

• 49:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I would say like-

• 49:34Hannah Berner?

  You don't need to be fresh faced at sixty-two.

• 49:37Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 49:38Hannah Berner?

  Especially as a man. If you're fresh faced at sixty-two, you didn't work.

• 49:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 49:43Hannah Berner?

  I, and I want some grays.

• 49:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I want tall and pepper hair. I want-

• 49:46Hannah Berner?

  I want you to walk kinda slower.

• 49:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I want you to have like a limp because you need a hip replacement. I want you to not be that quick so I can get away.

• 49:54Hannah Berner?

  I need to. Someone said flirting in your thirties is like, so is your lower back? Okay.

• 50:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, people don't talk about how intimate it is, being like, where's your pain? Do you have sciatica yet?

• 50:09Hannah Berner?

  How's your L4?

• 50:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, what is up with men loving sciatica?

• 50:12Hannah Berner?

  It's-

• 50:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like that's like a word they learned and they just have been running with it.

• 50:17Hannah Berner?

  It's like crypto.

• 50:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 50:18Hannah Berner?

  It's body version crypto.

• 50:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I have not heard the word sciatica ever in my life. And I feel like in the past two years, I've had multiple men that I don't even really know that they're like, my sciatica.

• 50:29Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 50:30Paige DeSorbo?

  What is that?

• 50:32Hannah Berner?

  Also, when you're like younger, you remember Ariana Grande's, I almost said Ariana.

• 50:38Paige DeSorbo?

  But she dyed her hair brown.

• 50:39Hannah Berner?

  Thank God.

• 50:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 50:41Hannah Berner?

  But Ariana said, um, you know, you got me walking side to side. So when you're younger, if like, if anything feels anything after you're like, ooh, he blew my brains out, where now it's like, my

• 50:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, that's what that means?

• 50:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, he's got me walking side to side. What did you think it meant?

• 50:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I have no idea.

• 50:58Hannah Berner?

  Like

• 50:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought it just rhymed.

• 51:02Hannah Berner?

  Side to side.

• 51:03Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I thought it just like went with whatever the line was. I don't like to look into the lyrics really because I feel like that's a personal thing for them.

• 51:11Hannah Berner?

  Thank God we didn't. The stuff that we were singing when we were nine years old. Did you watch any of the New Year's?

• 51:19Hannah Berner?

  Stuff?

• 51:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know that this is the first year I didn't? And I was home. Like, I didn't go out this year for New Year's. And it was the first time I didn't watch any New Year's Eve, like.

• 51:29Hannah Berner?

  Why do you think?

• 51:33Hannah Berner?

  And how does that make you feel?

• 51:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Why do I think? Um, I think, well, I, I think it's so, it's for older people. And I do feel like traditional, like TV, like if, okay, here's a great example. If Netflix had one.

• 51:51Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 51:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Like if Netflix had a New Year's Eve thing and it was like, a bunch of celebrities that I know who they are and they're famous right now, currently. I probably would have watched it, but sometimes like, like traditional news places that do like a New Year's Eve thing every year. They have so much, so many rules because it's like, yeah, this is network TV. Like you can't say that. There could be kids watching or like we have laws and stuff like that. So it was just like not as unhinged as I feel like it could be.

• 52:23Hannah Berner?

  I, I like to play, there's like the CNN one, there's the CBS and then ABC or something. I don't know. But I, and then one would go to a commercial, then I'd go to the other one. And then it was like, that one's in a commercial. And then I was like

• 52:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I do like thinking that like secretly Ryan Seacrest and Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper are like in a group chat, like the day before New Year's Eve, like you're going down. Like, you know, like I do like to think that there's some type of rivalry.

• 52:46Hannah Berner?

  Because they are filming right next to each other, right? They're in Times Square. I think also booking the gig.

• 52:51Paige DeSorbo?

  They're probably.

• 52:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Now that I think about it, there's just so many studios.

• 52:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Paige DeSorbo?

  They're probably in this, are they in the same building? They could be.

• 53:01Hannah Berner?

  See, that's the reality TV I want to watch. Um, but I, I feel like also it's a hard gig to book. Like, because who wants to be performing?

• 53:10Paige DeSorbo?

  On New Year's Eve?

• 53:11Hannah Berner?

  On New Year's Eve in the freezing cold in Times Square.

• 53:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:14Hannah Berner?

  People are, they rip people apart if they lip sync and if they don't lip sync.

• 53:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I have a really hot take that is probably gonna be rude. If you go to Times Square and you're not hosting the New Year's Eve show, you're there as a patron of the Times Square New Year's Eve, you should not be allowed to vote.

• 53:34Hannah Berner?

  Paige.

• 53:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Because in what worlds do you have the same common sense or reasoning as the rest of America?

• 53:43Hannah Berner?

  Paige Sorbo, those are the people I was talking about last episode, which you guys can, can listen to if you haven't, um, on Monday, about some people just enjoy.

• 53:56Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 53:57Hannah Berner?

  Events.

• 53:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Wearing a diaper? I mean, what the fuck was that?

• 54:02Hannah Berner?

  Imagine like being so excited to be like, I'm gonna go to Times Square for New Year's and stand there, it's gonna be awesome. Like, I wish I could get a high from that. These people are jacked up, like, it brings some joy.

• 54:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, there's something, no, there's something amiss going on there.

• 54:15Hannah Berner?

  You think they're AI?

• 54:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's something weird happening. You're, you're telling me there's that many people that electively, it's fucking freezing. And you can't, once you leave, you can't come back. So you're not only signing up for it to be freezing for hours, but you're also gonna give yourself a UTI.

• 54:35Hannah Berner?

  It, yeah, a hundred percent. That, some, they're just spreading, like.

• 54:40Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they, they literally interviewed the front row and they were like, I've been here and I'm wearing a diaper. And the one guy was like, I'm wearing a pad. And everyone in the comments was like.

• 54:51Hannah Berner?

  You don't have to.

• 54:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's not, you've peed your pants.

• 54:54Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, no pad in the world is soaking up you peeing your pants.

• 54:59Hannah Berner?

  Not to be like an annoying New Yorker, but I used to live, Don't Fijolos, right by Times Square in Hell's Kitchen. And at one point, like, I had to get to my place and they were like, you can't go. Cause it was like the day and I was like, no, I live there. And they're like, you can't cross this. And I'm like, I can't get to my house. And it was like, took like 30 minutes of talking to different cops to try to get to my apartment. Cause my ID said like, an old apartment from the year before. And it was, I like, couldn't get home.

• 55:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't get me started on the parades in New York City. The amount of times I've been like, but I live here. And they're like, nah.

• 55:35Hannah Berner?

  Also, I had an epiphany the other day that sometimes, um, sometimes I'm annoying. I think it's like, in your 30s, you start realizing like.

• 55:44Paige DeSorbo?

  In what context?

• 55:45Hannah Berner?

  Just like, you have flaws and that's okay. I think your twenties, you're trying to be perfect.

• 55:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And be like, I don't have any flaws.

• 55:52Hannah Berner?

  Then you're trying to like hide your flaws. Then by your 30s, you're like, yeah, that's me. Like, I'm so annoying about being from New York. Like, I was talking to someone the other day and I could just hear myself talking. And I was like, shut up. Like, I just got my driver's license. Like, I can't function anywhere but New York.

• 56:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:10Hannah Berner?

  And like, just like, normalizing being like, oh, that's an annoying side of me that like, will work on.

• 56:16Paige DeSorbo?

  That like, New York is your personality.

• 56:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 56:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm trying to think, what's like the most annoying thing I've done recently that I've like clocked? Like, wow, that's annoying as fuck.

• 56:24Hannah Berner?

  I feel like in your twenties, you ignore it. Where in your thirties, you're more open to.

• 56:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 56:29Hannah Berner?

  To reflect. Cause you're like, I'm evolving.

• 56:31Paige DeSorbo?

  There's so many more times in my thirties that in my head, I've been like, yeah, I handled that wrong. That was on me.

• 56:38Hannah Berner?

  And that's maturity, I think.

• 56:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And that was a bitchy thing to say. Or like, that was just like a rude thing to do. Where in my twenties, I'd be like, get over it.

• 56:45Hannah Berner?

  Can I just say something though? Like, I know we joke that you're mean and rude to everyone. You've never, you've never been rude to me.

• 56:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's kind of like a persona that like, well, you wanna know what?

• 56:55Hannah Berner?

  You've never even gotten mad at me before.

• 56:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 56:58Hannah Berner?

  And you're always like, oh, I got mad about this. You've never gotten like mad.

• 57:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because I love you.

• 57:03Hannah Berner?

  Okay. You're like, you get away with so much.

• 57:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God, I didn't even. This is so long ago and I forgot to bring it up on the pod.

• 57:10Hannah Berner?

  What?

• 57:11Paige DeSorbo?

  So a couple of weeks ago, there was, um, you know, when, um, randomly on TikTok, everyone was getting like videos that like they were like, I saw this last week or like I saw this last month. Or whatever.

• 57:23Hannah Berner?

  That happens all the time.

• 57:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I was going through that and there was a TikTok that I had seen before and I, I must have seen it in like the middle of the night because I didn't comment on it and I like wanted to. This girl made this TikTok and she was like, she's like very obvious that Paige loves Hannah so much more than Hannah loves Paige. And she wasn't even being like mean in it. And she was like, this is why I think this, like, I just don't think, and she goes like all these explanations.

• 57:49Hannah Berner?

  Wait, what did she say?

• 57:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to find it.

• 57:52Hannah Berner?

  They're like, the way Hannah looks at Paige sometimes.

• 57:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And I commented and I was like, that fucking bitch.

• 57:59Hannah Berner?

  Also, you're like, yeah.

• 58:00Paige DeSorbo?

  But no, people like don't think that we would be friends because we're so different.

• 58:09Paige DeSorbo?

  But what people don't realize is that I don't feel comfortable.

• 58:14Hannah Berner?

  With people like you.

• 58:20Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's exactly it.

• 58:21Hannah Berner?

  I don't feel safe.

• 58:26Hannah Berner?

  When I see someone who moves like me, you go, I don't need that energy in my life.

• 58:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but I think it's a self-awareness thing where I'm like, I'm annoying about certain things that I should not be annoying about, like clothes and shoes and like I have to, where you don't, you don't care about that stuff. So it's almost like an escape of my own brain to be with you.

• 58:45Hannah Berner?

  That's why we're with men, because occasionally you have something that's like pissing you off and then you say to them and their perspective helps us.

• 58:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:53Hannah Berner?

  Like, we need that occasionally. But also with you, there was a second where I'm like, why does she like me? And then I met one of like your old childhood friends who's like just like me too. You like to surround yourself with like people who don't take themselves too seriously. Your brother is also like me.

• 59:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Who did you meet of my childhood friends?

• 59:11Hannah Berner?

  Stephanie.

• 59:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:12Hannah Berner?

  Like she's outgoing, cool, like she's personality. It's not like all your friends are a type of way and I'm like a cold sore.

• 59:21Hannah Berner?

  Except the one dinner you brought me to and I was like, hi.

• 59:24Paige DeSorbo?

  If anything, I really don't have any, I would say the closest girlfriend that I have that is like exactly like me.

• 59:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't have any.

• 59:35Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what's so funny too? All my friends growing up were always like the pretty girly, like hot girl. And I would like live vicariously through all her like boy stories because I was scared.

• 59:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know that growing up, my best friend from literally kindergarten to college, literally my whole life, she was like number one on the softball team, number one on the basketball team. And I was just like, yeah, she's a fucking athlete.

• 1:00:02Hannah Berner?

  And you love that about her, but you weren't competing.

• 1:00:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because I was like, oh my God, look at her go. Where she didn't give a shit about.

• 1:00:08Hannah Berner?

  Can I tell you my best friend in high school? Well, I got to high school in junior year, halfway through junior year. Cause I transferred from a tennis academy. So middle junior year, I show up to Beacon High School, raise my hand in a class, like crazy behavior. And after the class, the most beautiful girl in the class, like high cheekbones, blue eyes, comes up to me and she's just like, you don't have anywhere to go to lunch with, do you? And you go out to lunch at Beacon, like it's like cool, like it's a whole thing. And I was like, no, she takes me out to lunch immediately. I'm like, you're my favorite person in the world. That's the nicest thing ever. And then fast forward a couple of months later, she pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking. You remember? And I literally take her cigarette and I throw it out and it's literally so me and you.

• 1:00:51Hannah Berner?

  Cause she was just like a bad girl and she's like, oh, this guy, whatever. And I'm like, get the cigarette, you're gonna die. And she's like, oh, like we're so different, but like we just loved each other and she'd be waiting at my locker every day.

• 1:01:03Paige DeSorbo?

  My favorite moment is just like watching you try and smoke weed.

• 1:01:08Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can I tell a story that I don't think we ever had told that happened on reality TV? Me smoking weed, everyone had like, there was a weed pen going around at one point.

• 1:01:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes, it was mine. It wasn't going around, I was just hitting it.

• 1:01:24Hannah Berner?

  And we for some reason were like hiding in a closet.

• 1:01:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep, it was, it was me, you and Amanda, you had just come home from somewhere.

• 1:01:32Hannah Berner?

  And something bad had happened.

• 1:01:34Paige DeSorbo?

  We're in the closet.

• 1:01:35Hannah Berner?

  Something like I was really upset. And I remember you being like, Hannah, just hit this.

• 1:01:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, just hit this, you'll be fine.

• 1:01:42Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, okay. And I'm so dramatic about it, like I'm about to do heroin for the first time. I put it up to my mouth, no idea what to do, no idea what to do, not doing it right.

• 1:01:53Paige DeSorbo?

  You didn't even suck in.

• 1:01:54Hannah Berner?

  Don't even know how to do it, was trying to do it. Then a guy I'd been talking to comes by, sees me holding it, gets mad at me for smoking weed. I then go, I don't know how to smoke weed. I didn't know what I was doing. We get into a whole thing. He's mad at me. You guys are laughing.

• 1:02:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I forgot about that.

• 1:02:11Hannah Berner?

  No, I got in like huge trouble.

• 1:02:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I forgot about that second part. I literally like stopped remembering.

• 1:02:16Hannah Berner?

  I was like, I don't even know how to inhale. And he's like, how do you not know how to inhale? I'm like, I'm really dumb and scared and I don't know what's happening.

• 1:02:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I forgot about that. I think that was the day that I was like, he's a loser.

• 1:02:27Hannah Berner?

  Also, I was like, I didn't even.

• 1:02:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, we're 25, we're gonna hit the weed pen, you fucking narc. Like, that was wild behavior on his part. I was like, literally, get out of my face. Wow, that was a trip down memory lane.

• 1:02:40Hannah Berner?

  That was. I want to make one quick announcement too. I posted my nail situation. I got my nails done. I got my first Russian manicure.

• 1:02:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you love?

• 1:02:51Hannah Berner?

  I want to say, these women.

• 1:02:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:55Hannah Berner?

  Are scientists.

• 1:02:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I haven't gotten one yet and everyone says, once you get one, you'll never go back.

• 1:03:00Hannah Berner?

  She did nip one of my cuticles and I, she hit an artery for sure.

• 1:03:04Paige DeSorbo?

  You like bled a little?

• 1:03:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I bled a little and it's kind of hurting and if it gets infected, you could die. But besides that, I feel very.

• 1:03:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, do you want to know what's crazy is like, that's true.

• 1:03:14Hannah Berner?

  No, my friend told me a story of a girl who had to go to the hospital because of a manicure.

• 1:03:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, people have gotten their fucking feet chopped off because of like.

• 1:03:24Hannah Berner?

  A pedicure gone awry?

• 1:03:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like a septic, like you become like septic.

• 1:03:28Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, someone had to like miss a wedding because of it, which was a great idea.

• 1:03:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Fuck yeah.

• 1:03:34Hannah Berner?

  But when I broke my nail, um, and the way they create a new nail based off of just the like clay is.

• 1:03:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Hannah Berner?

  3D printing.

• 1:03:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46Hannah Berner?

  And it's just a lady with a.

• 1:03:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a.

• 1:03:49Hannah Berner?

  With a stick, like a literal wooden stick. I'm like, how did you create a whole new nail bed? Like, it's incredible, the work that they've done.

• 1:03:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:03:58Hannah Berner?

  And I just want to raise awareness for like.

• 1:04:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you want to, every time I get my nails done, I don't, I think this is because I have anxiety that I like, I randomly will just like shake. It's not good. But like, if I have to do something with my hands. Like, I'm gonna shake a little.

• 1:04:15Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's the Diet Coke just raging through your veins. You're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

• 1:04:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm drugged out. I'm figuring it out. No, so I always think when I'm getting my nails done, when they're painting, I'm like, every time, I'm like, I would have fucked that up. Right there at that part, I would have fucked that up too. Like, it's so crazy how they can do it.

• 1:04:31Hannah Berner?

  Artisans. My final thought, which is a meme that I saw that made me laugh really hard, so I want to say it out loud to the gigglers. Someone wrote, "Does Ben Affleck only know two women?"

• 1:04:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, this is so bad because I am a fan of Ana de Armas. I think she is stunning. I think she's a good actress. Like, this is so mean. Oh, my God, I'm trying to be self-aware, but like, this is mean. Whenever I can't do something, or I think like, I'm gonna be bad at that, or like, I've never tried that before. Like, it's probably not my hidden talent. I always think, if Ana de Armas can be Marilyn Monroe, I can do anything.

• 1:05:10Hannah Berner?

  Mental health moment of the year. No, that's so true.

• 1:05:14Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so valid.

• 1:05:15Hannah Berner?

  Blonde doesn't go with her.

• 1:05:17Paige DeSorbo?

  And usually, I don't think about bad movies years later, for whatever reason. That movie really stuck in my brain. I think because I was, do you want to know why? As I was watching it, I was going through a man's phone.

• 1:05:31Paige DeSorbo?

  There's so much lore there. Um, but I think about it all the time. I go, Ana de Armas, I can do this.

• 1:05:38Hannah Berner?

  And that's what we're gonna leave you guys with. Um, I hope you enjoyed our first.

• 1:05:43Paige DeSorbo?

  First second episode.

• 1:05:44Hannah Berner?

  We doubled up, double Oreo this week.

• 1:05:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And we're gonna be different. Like, some days, we're gonna do, like, one topic. Like, we're gonna have gigglers write in, like, you have to talk about this. Like, things that we didn't touch on. Sometimes we might have a guest. Sometimes I might not show up. You know, different stuff could happen.

• 1:06:00Hannah Berner?

  We're free-falling. We love you guys so much, and thank you for giggling. Bye.

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