Stop Waiting For External Validation

Jay explores how living in a world of likes, ratings, and constant feedback can make us lose touch with our own judgment. He shares five shifts for relying less on outside approval and building more trust in yourself: from learning to read yourself instead of the room and separating belonging from approval, to questioning what you really want and building self-trust through the small promises you keep to yourself. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Mazda crafts cars for people who do more than simply move. Visit Mazdausa.com to learn more. Consumer reports does not endorse products or services. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan⁠. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 0:00 Introduction 00:24 What’s Really Behind the Need for Validation 03:20 Five Shifts From External to Internal Validation 03:38 Reading The Room Vs. Reading Yourself 06:09 Evolution, Tribe Instincts, And Borrowed Opinions 08:18 Why is Rejection So Painful? 12:16 Escaping The Box 15:32 Auditing Your Desires And Expectations 18:06 Building Self-Trust Vs. Chasing Confidence 25:15 Stop Watching Your Life From the Outside Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells,

• 1:30Jay Shetty?

  Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn.

• 2:02Jay Shetty?

  Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute. And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself, because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

• 2:25Jay Shetty?

  Most people think they have a confidence problem. They think if they could just believe in themselves a little more, they would finally ask for the promotion, make the career change, leave the relationship that isn't working, or take the first step toward the life they've been imagining. But here's my take. I don't actually think confidence is the thing that's holding most of us back. I think the truth is, we have a validation problem. Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped asking, "What do I think?" and started asking, "What does everyone else think?" Before we buy a couch, we read 100 reviews. Before we wear an outfit, we send a picture to the group chat.

• 3:08Jay Shetty?

  Before we make a decision, we call a mentor. Before we post a photo, we overthink about how well it will be received. We don't even realise how often we're waiting for someone else to tell us it's okay before we allow ourselves to move. The truth is, we've never lived in a world that gives us this much feedback. Every app has likes, comments, stars, reviews, rankings, followers, streaks, or scores. At work, we have performance reviews. At school, we have grades. Even our watches tell us whether we've had a productive day. Every time we open our phones, we're reminded that almost everything can be measured, compared, ranked, and evaluated. I don't think that's making us bad people,

• 3:54Jay Shetty?

  but I do think it's changing us in ways we rarely stop to notice. Every generation has its own hidden challenge. Our grandparents learned how to survive scarcity. Our parents learned how to navigate opportunity. I think one of the defining challenges of our generation is learning how to navigate constant evaluation. We've become so accustomed to being measured by the outside world that we've slowly forgotten how to internally measure ourselves. The problem is, external feedback is a terrible place to build an internal identity. When your confidence depends on applause, it disappears the moment the room goes quiet. When your self-worth depends on approval,

• 4:36Jay Shetty?

  every disagreement starts to feel like evidence that you're on the wrong path. We begin to mistake silence for failure, hesitation for a sign to stop, and criticism for proof that we shouldn't have started in the first place. But psychology tells us something fascinating. Human beings aren't born needing constant validation. We're born needing connection. And those are two very different things. Somewhere along the way, our brains started treating approval as if it were the same thing as belonging. And once that happens, we don't just look for advice anymore. We start looking for permission. Permission to change, permission to grow, permission to want something different. Permission to become someone new.

• 5:21Jay Shetty?

  So today, I want to share five shifts that completely change the way I think about confidence, approval, and self-belief. Because I don't think your goal should be to become someone everyone believes in. I think your goal could be to become someone you yourself can trust. Picture this. Imagine you're sitting in a meeting at work and an idea pops into your head. You think it could solve the problem everyone has been talking about for the last 20 minutes. But before you say anything, you glance around the room. No one else seems to be thinking what you're thinking. So you stay quiet. 10 minutes later, someone else suggests almost the exact same idea, and suddenly, everyone loves it.

• 6:04Jay Shetty?

  You leave wondering why you didn't just say it first. Or maybe your friends ask where you want to go for dinner. You know exactly where you'd like to eat, but instead, you hear yourself say, "I'm happy with whatever everyone else wants." Feels polite, feels easy. But if you really pay attention, you'll notice how often we silence our own preferences before anyone has even disagreed with them. We become so practised at reading the room that we slowly stop reading ourselves. Psychologists have been studying this for decades. One of the most famous experiments in social psychology was conducted by Solomon Ash in the 1950s. Participants were shown a series of lines and asked an incredibly simple question.

• 6:49Jay Shetty?

  Which line matches the length of the one on the card? The answer was obvious. But when everyone else in the room, who were secretly actors working with the researchers, intentionally gave the wrong answer, many participants abandoned what they could clearly see with their own eyes and agreed with the group instead. Think about that for a second. They weren't confused. They weren't incapable of seeing the correct answer. They simply trusted the consensus more than they trusted their own perception. This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda. Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them. That's the philosophy behind every Mazda.

• 7:33Jay Shetty?

  With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings. It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. Belonging has always been one of the strongest psychological forces in human life. For most of human history,

• 8:17Jay Shetty?

  being separated from the group wasn't just uncomfortable, it could be dangerous. Our brains evolved with one question constantly running in the background. Am I still with the tribe? What's remarkable is that this instinct doesn't just show up in major life decisions. It actually quietly shapes hundreds of tiny moments every single day. Someone says a movie was terrible, and suddenly, you're less sure whether you actually enjoyed it. Everyone at the table orders cocktails, even though you really wanted tea. A trend becomes uncool, and without thinking, you start questioning whether you ever liked it in the first place. Consensus has a funny way of disguising itself as truth, and that's what makes this so important.

• 9:01Jay Shetty?

  The more often we borrow the crowd's opinion, the harder it becomes to recognise our own. We start assuming that if everyone agrees, they must be right. If nobody responds to our idea, it must not be good. If our family doesn't understand our decision, maybe we shouldn't make it. We slowly begin outsourcing our judgement without even realising we're doing it. The irony is that history tells us the exact opposite story. Almost every meaningful idea, invention, movement, or piece of art was unpopular with someone before it became accepted. Consensus isn't what creates meaning. More often than not, consensus catches up to meaning long after someone had the courage to trust what they could already see.

• 9:46Jay Shetty?

  So the next time you catch yourself looking around the room before trusting your own instincts, pause for a moment. Instead of asking, "Does everyone agree with me?", ask yourself a different question. What evidence do I have that this feels right to me? Consensus can be useful. Advice can be valuable, but none of those things should replace your own ability to think. Because the strongest inner voice isn't the one that never listens to anyone else. It's the one that can hear everyone else's opinion without losing sight of its own. That takes me to the second thing I want to touch on. Have you ever sent a text and then found yourself checking your phone every few minutes? I think we've all been there. Logically, you know they're probably busy.

• 10:30Jay Shetty?

  You know they might be driving, working, or simply haven't seen it yet. But as the minutes turn into hours, your mind starts filling in the blanks. Did I say something wrong? Are they upset with me? Did I misread the conversation? Suddenly, the silence starts to feel like a reflection of your worth instead of a reflection of their schedule. Here's another scenario. You walk out of a meeting and suddenly you're spending the rest of the day replaying one person's reaction to an idea you had. Nine people smiled, nodded, or thanked you for your contribution. But one person looked distracted or unconvinced. Somehow, your brain completely ignores the encouragement and becomes fixated on the one person who didn't validate you.

• 11:15Jay Shetty?

  It's incredible how quickly our minds gravitate toward disapproval instead of acceptance. There's a reason for that, and it has very little to do with confidence. Neuroscientists have discovered that social rejection isn't something our brains treat lightly. Research led by psychologist Naomi Eisenberger found that many of the same brain regions activated by physical pain also become active when we experience social exclusion. In other words, your brain doesn't simply interpret rejection as an unpleasant feeling. On a neurological level, it interprets it as a threat. Thousands of years ago, that response made perfect sense. Human beings survived in tribes.

• 11:57Jay Shetty?

  If you were rejected by your community, your chances of finding food, protection, or shelter dropped dramatically. Belonging wasn't just emotionally important, it was essential to survival. Our brains evolved to protect that belonging at almost any cost. But here's what's fascinating. Your brain hasn't evolved nearly as quickly as your environment has. It still reacts to a delayed text, or a critical comment, or a lack of approval as though your place in the tribe might be at risk. What once protected us can now convince us to question ourselves every time someone disagrees with us. I think that's why it's so important to separate two words we often use interchangeably: belonging and approval.

• 12:40Jay Shetty?

  Belonging is the feeling that you're worthy of love and connection simply because you exist. Approval is someone else's opinion about your choices, your ideas, or your behaviour. They're not the same thing, but we often treat them as if they are. We begin believing that if someone doesn't approve our decision, they're rejecting us as a person. Think about a child dancing in the living room when their favourite song comes on. They don't wonder if they look cool. They aren't scanning the room to see if anyone else is dancing first. They hear music, they feel joy, and they move. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, something changes. By the time we're teenagers, we look around before we dance.

• 13:24Jay Shetty?

  By the time we're adults, many of us say, "I don't dance." When what we really mean is, "I don't want to be judged." That's what constant evaluation does. It slowly teaches us to replace self-expression with self-consciousness. We stop asking "what feels natural to me?" and start asking "how will this be perceived?" Without realising it, we begin performing our lives instead of participating in them. So the next time you find yourself craving someone's approval, I want you to pause before you chase it. Ask yourself a question. Am I looking for information? Or am I looking for reassurance? Information can make your decisions better. Reassurance might make you feel better for a moment.

• 14:08Jay Shetty?

  But if reassurance becomes the thing you depend on before every decision, you will slowly lose the ability to trust. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need them most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.

• 14:53Jay Shetty?

  Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colours, high fructose corn syrup and more,

• 15:36Jay Shetty?

  so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. It's your own voice. And that takes us to the third thing I want to focus on.

• 16:21Jay Shetty?

  People don't actually always see you as you are. Sometimes they see you as you were. Here's what I mean. Imagine you go home for the holidays. You've spent the last year growing. Maybe you've become calmer, more patient, more confident. You've learned how to communicate differently. You've gone to therapy. Maybe you've just changed your hairstyle. You've set healthier boundaries. You've lost some weight, put on some muscle. But within 24 hours of being back with your family, you're arguing with your siblings the same way you did when you were 16. It's almost like you've stepped back into an old version of yourself without meaning to. But what if this isn't a reflection on your growth?

• 17:01Jay Shetty?

  And is instead a reflection of how other people around you are viewing and categorising you? The truth is, our brains create mental shortcuts to make sense of the people around us. Psychologists call this confirmation bias. It's one of the reasons first impressions are so powerful, and one of the reasons genuine change can take so long for other people to recognise. They're not seeing today's version of you in isolation. They're filtering today's version through years of yesterday's memories. The interesting thing is that we all do this. We still think of someone as the shy one, even after they've become a confident leader. We still introduce our friend as the silly one, the messy one, or the responsible one,

• 17:44Jay Shetty?

  even though they've evolved in countless ways since we first met them. Labels make the world easier for our brains to organise, but they also make it harder for us to notice when someone has outgrown them. This is one of the reasons strangers sometimes believe in us before the people who've known us our entire lives. A stranger doesn't know about your abandoned projects, your awkward first attempts, or the version of you that existed 10 years ago. They simply experience the person standing in front of them today. Meanwhile, the people who love you most are unconsciously comparing today's version of you to every version they've ever known. Here's the paradox. The more energy we spend trying to convince people that we've changed, the less energy

• 18:28Jay Shetty?

  we spend actually changing. We find ourselves explaining, defending, and justifying our growth instead of simply living it. But real transformation has never been something you argue people into believing. It's something you demonstrate consistently enough that eventually your life becomes impossible to misunderstand. That doesn't mean your friends and family don't love you. In fact, it's often because they do. Their picture of you has been built over years, sometimes decades, and our brains don't redraw those pictures overnight. They're not necessarily resisting your future, they're simply trying to reconcile it with the version of you they've always known. One of the most freeing realisations you can have is that you don't need everyone to

• 19:11Jay Shetty?

  update their picture of you before you continue becoming who you're meant to be. Some people will always meet the version of you they remember. Others will eventually catch up. Your job isn't to manage everyone's perception of you. Your job is to become so rooted in who you're becoming that you no longer need other people to confirm it. Which leads to the next part of this conversation. In order to stop seeking external validation, you need to be sure that you're genuinely living in alignment with what you actually want. The question isn't, "Can I achieve this?" It isn't, "Do other people think this is a good idea?" The question is much simpler than that. Is this actually what I want?

• 19:55Jay Shetty?

  Because we could spend our lives chasing approval, or we could chase something that genuinely fulfills us. Psychologists have long studied how our preferences are shaped by the approval of the people around us. We naturally evaluate ourselves by comparing ourselves to others. In fact, the mere exposure effect shows the more often we're exposed to something, the more familiar and more desirable it begins to feel. In other words, our brains are constantly absorbing ideas about what success, beauty, happiness and achievements are supposed to look like, often without our conscious awareness. I think this is one of the hidden costs of constantly seeking validation. When we become dependent on other people's approval,

• 20:38Jay Shetty?

  we also become more vulnerable to other people's definitions of success. We don't just ask them whether we're doing a good job, we let them decide what the job should be. Little by little, our lives begin to reflect the expectations around us instead of the values within us. That's why I think one of the most courageous things you can do is periodically audit your own desires. Ask yourself, if no one could see this decision, would I still want it? If there were no photos to post, no one to impress, no timeline to keep up with, and no expectations to meet, would this still be the life you're trying to build? Those questions don't always have easy answers, but they do have incredibly honest ones. Before you ask the world to validate your dream,

• 21:22Jay Shetty?

  make sure it's actually your dream. Because there's something even more exhausting than chasing approval. It's spending years earning approval for a life you never truly wanted in the first place. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state, coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

• 22:08Jay Shetty?

  That takes me to the last thing I want to hit on. If you never want to seek external validation again, you need to become someone that you can trust. Once you've stopped outsourcing your definition of success, the question becomes, what do you replace it with? Most people would answer confidence, but I don't think that's the right answer. I think confidence is wonderful, but it's also inconsistent. Some mornings you wake up feeling unstoppable, other mornings comparison can have you questioning everything. That's very human. If your life depends on feeling confident every day, you're going to spend a lot of time waiting for feelings to shift. I think what we're really looking for is something much more stable. We're looking for self-trust.

• 22:52Jay Shetty?

  Confidence says, I think I can do this. Self-trust says, even if I can't today, I know I'll figure it out. That's a completely different foundation. One depends on predicting the future. The other depends on believing in the person you'll be, no matter what the future brings. Psychologist Albert Bandura called this self-efficacy, your belief in your ability to handle challenges and influence outcomes. What's fascinating is that decades of research show self-efficacy isn't built by positive thinking. It grows through what Bandura called mastery experiences. Every time you do something difficult, every time you keep a promise to yourself, every time you recover from a setback, your brain quietly gathers another piece of evidence that says,

• 23:37Jay Shetty?

  I've handled hard things before. I can handle this too. Think about learning to ride a bike as a child. You wobbled, you fell, maybe you scraped your knee, but each attempt taught your brain something new. Eventually, you stopped wondering whether you could ride the bike because your body had accumulated enough evidence to stop asking the question. That's how self-trust works. It isn't built in a single breakthrough moment. It's built through hundreds of ordinary moments of following through. This is why I think we sometimes misunderstand what confidence actually is. We imagine it's created by compliments, achievements, or people telling us we're talented. Those things can certainly feel good, but they fade surprisingly quickly. Someone compliments your work today,

• 24:23Jay Shetty?

  and tomorrow, you're hoping they'll compliment it again. Your post gets thousands of likes this week, and next week, you wonder why it didn't happen again. External validation has a remarkably short shelf life. I like to think of it this way. Validation is rented, but self-respect is owned. Every compliment, every award, every promotion, every round of applause is temporary. None of those things become a permanent part of your identity unless you already learn to believe them yourself. Self-respect is different because no one can give it to you, which also means no one can take it away. It's built every time you choose integrity over convenience, discipline over excuses, and honesty over performance.

• 25:07Jay Shetty?

  There's another idea in psychology that I love called an internal locus of control. It's the belief that while you can't control everything that happens to you, you can influence how you respond. People with a stronger internal locus of control tend to be more resilient, recover more quickly from setbacks, and experience greater wellbeing because they don't hand the steering wheel of their lives to other people's opinions. Feedback becomes something they consider, but not something they obey. So maybe the goal isn't to stop listening to external viewpoints altogether. Wisdom often comes from mentors, loved ones, and people who challenge our thinking. But there's a profound difference between seeking perspective and surrendering your agency.

• 25:51Jay Shetty?

  One expands your thinking, the other replaces it. Learning to recognize that difference may be one of the most important skills you'll ever develop. The next time you're waiting for someone to tell you you're ready, remember this. There will always be someone who doesn't understand your decision, someone who would have chosen differently, or someone who thinks you should wait a little longer. If you spend your life collecting unanimous approval, you'll never collect enough evidence to trust yourself. Because at the end of the day, confidence will come and go. Some days you'll feel unstoppable, and other days you'll question everything. But self-trust is different. Self-trust says, even if I'm afraid, I'll still show up. Even if I fail, I'll learn.

• 26:35Jay Shetty?

  Even if no one applauds, I'll keep going. And I think that's a much stronger foundation to build a life on. Not becoming someone everyone believes in, but becoming someone you never stop believing in. If there's one thing I hope you take away from today's episode, it's this. Your life will change the moment you stop treating other people's approval as a prerequisite for your own decisions. The seven-day challenge is brought to you by Ultra Running. Creating space can change everything. Space to think more clearly, move with intention, and focus on what truly matters. Ultra running shoes are designed with the Ultra Fit, giving your feet the room they need to move naturally, comfortably, and with strength over time. Now, here's this week's seven-day challenge.

• 27:21Jay Shetty?

  Here's your challenge this week. For the next seven days, I want you to stop looking outside of yourself for validation and start building trust in your own voice. And each day, I'm giving you one simple thing to do. Day one, make one decision without asking anyone else what they think. It can be as small as where you eat or what you wear. Day two, share an idea or opinion you would normally keep to yourself because you're worried about how it will be received. Day three, take a 20-minute walk outside without your phone. Give yourself space to think and ask yourself, what do I actually want right now? Day four, do something you genuinely enjoy without posting it, photographing it, or telling anyone about it. Let the experience be enough.

• 28:07Jay Shetty?

  Day five, say no to one thing you don't actually want to do, and don't over-explain yourself. Day six, do one thing you've been putting off because you've been waiting for someone else's encouragement or permission. And day seven, make one promise to yourself and keep it. Go for the run, take the walk, start the project, make the decision. Whatever it is, follow through. At the end of the seven days, ask yourself, did I trust my own voice more this week? Because self-trust isn't something you suddenly find. You build it every time you listen to yourself, every time you follow through, and every time you create the space to hear your own voice before everyone else's. That's your seven-day challenge. The seven-day challenge was brought to you by Ultra Running.

• 28:52Jay Shetty?

  Ultra Fit design gives your feet the room they need to move naturally for comfort, balance, and real strength so you can spend less time standing still and more time getting outside. Whether you're running, walking, hiking, or simply exploring, Ultra is designed to move with you. Visit ultrarunning.com/onpurpose and use the code PURPOSE10 for 10% off. Stay out there. Validation feels good. We all enjoy being encouraged, supported, and celebrated. There's nothing wrong with wanting those things. The problem is, when we begin believing we need them before we're willing to move forward. Because here's what I've realized. There is no point in your life where everyone is going to agree with you. Someone will think you started too early.

• 29:38Jay Shetty?

  Someone else will think you waited too long. Someone will tell you the risk isn't worth it. Someone else will wonder why you didn't take an even bigger one. If you spend your life trying to satisfy every opinion, you'll eventually lose touch with the only one you have to live with, your own. I want you to think about the version of yourself before the world started grading everything. Before likes and followers, before performance reviews and comparison, before you learned that almost every decision could be measured, ranked, or judged. Think about yourself as a child. You probably laughed because something was funny, not because everyone else was laughing. You probably danced because music was playing, not because you were wondering how you looked. You probably asked questions because you were curious,

• 30:24Jay Shetty?

  not because you were worried about sounding smart. Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped participating in our lives and started observing them. We became audiences for our own lives instead of participants in them. Instead of making decisions from our values, we started making them from other people's expectations. We became so focused on being accepted that we slowly stopped expressing ourselves. I'm not saying you should never care again about what other people think, but I'm saying that if you learn to care more about what you truly think, you'll save yourself a lot of pointless, exhausting validation chasing. Let external views inform your thinking, but never let them replace it. Because the people who leave the biggest mark on the world

• 31:09Jay Shetty?

  rarely begin with consensus. They begin with conviction. Long before anyone else believes in them, they decide they're willing to take one more step, make one more attempt, or create one more imperfect draft. They don't wait until the crowd catches up. They trust themselves long enough for everyone else to eventually do the same. So this week, I want you to notice the smallest moments. Notice how often you're about to ask someone else what you should do. Notice how often you're looking for reassurance before making a decision you already know the answer to. And before you reach for your phone or ask for the group chat, pause for just a moment and ask yourself one simple question. What do I think? At first, the answer might feel unfamiliar. That's okay.

• 31:53Jay Shetty?

  You've spent years training yourself to hear everyone else's voice first. It takes time to strengthen your own. But every time you listen to it, every time you trust it, every time you keep a promise to yourself, that voice gets a little clearer and a little stronger. You don't need to become someone everyone believes in. You need to become someone you believe in. And when you can do that, you'll discover something that no amount of applause, praise, likes, or approval can ever give you. You'll discover the freedom of knowing your life is no longer being directed by the crowd, but by your own values, your own choices, and your own inner voice. And I think that's the greatest confidence any of us can experience. Remember, I'm always rooting for you. I'm

• 32:39Speaker 01

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• 33:09Speaker 02

  This episode is brought to you by Netflix's new series, East of Eden, a bold reimagining of John Steinbeck's masterpiece, following generations of the Trask family through love, betrayal, and the choices that shape humanity. Starring Mike Feist and Christopher Abbott as the Trask Brothers, and Florence Pugh as Kathy Ames, the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants, no matter the cost. Watch East of Eden, October 1st, only on Netflix.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 33:55Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you're freezing to death, that's what.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 34:04Speaker 04

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under seventeen. Not a minute without parent.

• 34:08Jay Shetty?

  Forever in your corner.