Sanya Richards-Ross: Running & Reinvention

Four-time Olympic gold medalist Sanya Richards-Ross reflects on the inner work behind elite performance — navigating self-expectation, identity, and life after the finish line. She shares how injury, loss, and transition reshaped her understanding of success, and how she now brings that mindset into motherhood, work, and community. This is Episode 1/4 of Good Inside Presents: The Playbook, a limited-edition series created in partnership with Nike.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  After my first baby was born, I treated my own recovery like a complete afterthought. If the baby needed something, I showed up immediately. If I needed something, well, it would wait. But research shows that when parents have the support they need, they're better able to care for their children. Taking care of yourself isn't separate from parenting. It's a huge part of parenting. That's why I love Frida's mission to prepare women for the realities of pregnancy, postpartum, recovery, and feeding. Frida creates solutions for the moments that often catch moms off guard. The Postpartum Essentials Kit and Breastfeeding Survival Kit help women feel more prepared for those early weeks of motherhood. Be motherhood prepared and shop Frida at Amazon, Target, and Walmart today.

• 0:48Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You know that feeling when your brain is at full capacity, right? I mean, you have a reminder from the dentist in your email, a birthday party invitation on the fridge, and your kid just texted you about a soccer game they forgot to mention until that moment, and you just cannot remember one more thing. That's where Skylight Calendar comes in. It's an all-in-one digital smart calendar that syncs with Google, Apple, and Outlook to help your whole family see the days and weeks ahead. And I really love the Tasks feature, which is designed to help your kid build routines around things like homework and chores. And when your kid can do those things independently, it's a huge win for everyone in the family. Skylight Calendar is so much more than just a calendar. It's something you can add to

• 1:32Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  your routine to help your family work together. And right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to myskylight.com/becky. That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T.com/Becky for $30 off your 15-inch calendar. MySkylight.com/becky.

• 2:14Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I don't know if you know this about me, but I am very into sports. When I was growing up, I was a competitive gymnast and I was on a competitive soccer team. And I was pretty intense about it. I was really driven, which sometimes worked for me and in other stages, actually worked a little bit against me, or at least my own mental health in the moments. My family today is also super into sports. My kids play sports and we just watch a lot of sports and we get really into it. And sometimes I step back and I think, what is this phenomenon? I have such an emotional reaction to people. I don't even know what is going on. I love learning more about competitive athletes,

• 2:58Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  what their early years were like, what shaped them, what motivates them, how they think about performance differently than other people. Anyway, my interest, my curiosity about sports is actually what led to this series. This is The Playbook, a limited series by Good Inside in partnership with Nike. I'm going to be talking to some of the most successful athletes of our time, leaders who have had real impact in their sport. And I'm going to be talking with them about their highs, about their lows, about their mindset, about team dynamics, about what really motivates them, about the way they talk to themselves and recover from difficult stages.

• 3:41Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And I also have some of my favorite moments with these athletes where we talk about their life off the field, their early years, their family life, the things that keep them grounded, their rituals and superstitions that keep them going. We cover so much in every conversation. I'm Dr. Becky and this is Good Inside. We'll be back right after this.

• 4:04Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Today I'm sitting down with someone whose story I cannot wait to explore. Sonya Richards Ross. You know her. She's a four-time Olympic gold medalist. She's also won a bronze medal. She has five Olympic medals. She's one of the greatest 400-meter runners of our time. From the outside, people see Sonya Richards Ross, the ferocious competitor, laser-focused, in control of her craft, such a winner. They see her power, her confidence. They see a champion who rose again and again. That's all true. And today, I want to look on the inside. The mental strength and the inner work that shaped Sonya long before the medals and long after the medals.

• 4:48Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Hi, Sonya.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Hi, Dr. Becky.

• 4:52Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I often like to start by actually rewinding. So maybe we can jump in. Just when you think about your early years, growing up in Jamaica, getting into competitive racing, probably lots of things in your early years besides that. Just tell me a little bit more about that. What comes to mind?

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Man, you know, that's a really good question. It's so funny because sometimes I feel so far removed from that life. It feels like I've had two lives. And so it's nice to sometimes reflect on that. But when I think about my early years, I just think, I mean, they were just wonderful. They were wonderful. I had amazing, and still have amazing, parents. We grew up like middle, upper class in Jamaica. We used to go to the beach every weekend. Everything was just so good. And I remember, you know, just kind of that pureness of finding sports and loving track and field so much and wanting to be great. And my parents just doing everything that they could to help me live my dreams. So in Jamaica, track and field is the most popular sport.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  So I remember as early as I can remember, four, three, four, five, the country literally shutting down to watch the Olympics and watching Marlene Oddie and some of those great athletes, you know, have the kind of success and the admiration from the country. And I was like, I want to do that. I want to be an Olympic champion. And so when I was seven years old, I- We had a fun day at school where you race and you do all these things and I beat all the boys and the the head coach for the track team was like, okay, you're joining the track team and you know, just started from there. And I remember Dr. Becky, my dad, as early as probably nine, 10, 11, 12, telling me, you're going to be the best in the world. You're going to be the best in the world one day. And when I was nine, I wrote for my

• 6:36Speaker 01

  class assignment when they asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? I said, I'd be an Olympic champion when I was nine years old. So it started really early, you know, of course, it was very fun for me. I wouldn't say that it became, you know, this huge goal for my life until I was really 16. I started to really like lock in and do all the right things. But as early as nine, I had dreams of being an Olympic champion.

• 6:56Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  When you were in that nine-year-oldish range, I'm just always curious, was it one of your parents who's like, Sonia, come on, we're gonna, we're gonna do some running now? Was, were you more like, Mom or Dad, I'm going out to run? Like, the motivation, was it always intrinsic? Did it start from someone else and then it transferred to you? How did it work when you were young?

• 7:15Speaker 01

  That's a great question. It was intrinsic. I remember my parents telling me I would get up, like, we had a track meet that weekend. I would be up at five, six o'clock, already dressed, by the bedside. Like, it's time. My mom would be like, Sam, it's too early. The track meet's not until four or five. And so I remember, as early as I can remember, wanting to run, wanting to win, wanting to be the best. And then I think my parents nurtured that. And that's, that's something that I feel like is, you know, something that we don't talk about a lot, and how, you know, that balance of when you have an individual who desires to be great, how do you foster that? And I think my parents did a really good job. My, my mom and dad always let me lead, right? So they followed my lead. Like, when I was like, when it was just fun for me, they didn't make me ever feel like there

• 7:59Speaker 01

  was a ton of pressure on me. It was always just like, and then at 16, when I was like, okay, Dad, I really want to be great. My dad was ready to go, equipped with all the things that we needed to do that. So I would say it was intrinsic, and I just always had this burning desire to be great. And my parents just always met me where I was.

• 8:16Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That's, it's such a powerful model. I don't know if you see it around you now, but sometimes it's hard to differentiate. How much does the kid want this?

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:27Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  How much does the parent want this for the kid? Who's living whose dreams? I don't know if you noticed that just in families around you now, but it sounds like it was pretty clear for you. This is my dream. This is my motivation. I'm the one getting up. I want to do this. And then the other, the other thing you said that I think is really important too, is your parents supported that, like they nurtured that, but it, but it came from you.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  100%, 100%. My parents did everything that I asked them to do, supported me in every way, but it certainly was my dream. This wasn't something that my dad had hoped for me before I wanted it for myself. And that's something that I'm really, is really important to me now as a mom with, with our children. We have four, three boys and I want them to lead, like whatever they're excited about, whatever they love, we're going to support them, but we're certainly not going to plant any unrealized dreams of ours, you know, into them.

• 9:16Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Yeah, I mean, you have a lot of realized dreams. The rest of us have a lot of unrealized dreams. I just want to point out. I think I read, but time this is right, because you said 16, but age 12, you move.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:28Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Is that right? Okay, tell me about that. So you were 12 and you left Jamaica.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  So my, um, my entire family, most of my family was still living in Jamaica at the time. So my mom is one of six. And so she, there are two boys and four girls and the majority of her family, and my dad comes from a small family, uh, his mom Jamaican, his older sister, everyone was still in Jamaica. And so, uh, around 12, or maybe around, around 10, my mom's eldest sister migrated to the States, her mom migrated to the States. And so they kept saying to her, look, if you're going to make the move, you want to do it now while the kids are still young. So they'll have a chance to get into a good university and just kind of that, you know, living that dream, like you want your kids to have a better life, more opportunities. And so my parents for two years kind of thought about, okay, what would this move look like? Where would we move to?

• 10:16Speaker 01

  And so when we were 12, when I was 12, my sister was 11, my mom and dad decided to move to South Florida. Uh, one of her sisters were there, uh, we traveled there a lot and she felt like it was kind of the easiest transition from Jamaica to Miami, Fort Lauderdale area, kind of, you know, the same kind of weather, the same kind of vibe. And so, yeah, my parents basically moved for us to be able to have greater opportunities. Um, and so I went to middle school for one year and then I went to high school for four years in South Florida and then got a scholarship to the University of Texas.

• 10:47Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And before we move past those early years, what was racing like? What was winning like? Performance like? How did you handle that? And how did that all play out for you when you were younger?

• 10:57Speaker 01

  I certainly learned my drive and desire to be successful early because I used to love to win so much. And my dad, whenever I did lose, you know, my dad, I would cry. And my dad would be like, that's okay. That's okay. You, it should matter to you that things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to. And I would have that moment to be able to be in my feelings, to cry. And then he'd say, okay, what are we going to do better tomorrow? How are you going to improve on this so that you don't have to have this feeling again? And so it definitely helped me to be able to deal with disappointments, but also to get back up on the horse and to try again.

• 11:32Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And do you remember at those ages, you'd lose something? Okay, you'd feel your feelings. Like, what would you say to yourself? Did you spiral? Was it kind of like, short window? Be upset? Back, back at it tomorrow? Like, what was, what was your process, even when you were younger?

• 11:48Speaker 01

  I feel like the people around you can really help to shape, you know? Because you are young. You don't know how to deal with those emotions. And so I was never that kid that spiraled out because things weren't going my way. I was like, okay, it didn't work out. I feel I'm sad about it now, but tomorrow I get a chance to try it again.

• 12:04Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Where was the feeling greater? Like, the joy of winning or the hatred of losing for you?

• 12:09Speaker 01

  The hatred of losing? For sure. I enjoyed winning a lot, but I think I hated losing more. And that was my drive to always work really hard.

• 12:19Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So, so speaking of that, actually, the person in kind of the next lane. I know you've said before that your biggest competition has never really been the woman in the other lane. It's kind of the expectations you hold for yourself. And what I love to hear from you about is I have this concept I think a lot about with parents, with kids, is how much we gaze out and how much we gaze in. And both matter. If you're only gazing in, you got to pay attention to the world. But a lot of, a lot of women. And I think a lot of young girls are almost trained to, whether in sports or elsewhere, gaze out to the point that they don't gaze in. What matters to me? What do I care about? And you, you seem to have from a young age, like it's never about the other person saying like,

• 13:02Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I am someone who gazes in for my expectations, at least before I gaze out. So yeah, tell me a little bit about that.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think for me, I have that really good habit from sports of saying, okay, when I start to feel I'm getting too distracted by looking at other people, I then zone back in to know like, how am I performing against the, you know, barometer of success I place on myself? And especially as a mom, I've given myself a whole lot more grace these days.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  But yeah, it was something that I was very intentional about.

• 13:33Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  But look, it does kind of remind me, it's interesting, I was just in a live event, I was saying this, but it feels like a parallel. Like as soon as, as a mom, we're judging our good parenting by say, whether or not our kid had a tantrum when we held a boundary. I always say I'm like giving away all my power. My kid's gonna do what they're gonna do, but do I know my job? Do I feel proud of how I showed up? And if I, if I do, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna hold this boundary because let's say, I don't want my kid to watch another show and maybe they have a tantrum, but that, that's kind of on them. Do I know how to hold the boundary? Do I show up in a way I'm proud of? And can I find a win based on gazing in,

• 14:13Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  totally separate from my kid's behavior? It doesn't seem that far from like, am I focusing on what I need to do in the lane versus what she's doing in the lane over there?

• 14:23Speaker 01

  No, that's a, that's an amazing parallel to motherhood. And I love finding that because I feel like I worked so hard in sports. And so it's like, whenever I can draw that into my new life as a mom, I just think that's such a great way to, to analyze it. And I think we do as moms, put a lot of, oh, am I doing a good job based on our kids' reactions or actions? And it, you know, it's really true. Like it's really, am I showing up, am I doing my best? And that's really where sometimes the wins are. So I love that.

• 14:51Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  There is a world where you are doing your best, let's say on your baseball team. And another kid moves up the batting order above you. Like they can both be true. And how you handle that moment, first of all, if you're a competitive kid, you're going to be upset. But it's very protective to be able to say, okay, like, what did I do over the summer? I feel proud of my work. I know I'm working on my swing. Look, the kid next to me, whatever it is, he, she grew at a faster rate. Like, wow, I'm impressed too. And for right now, this is where it's at. But I did work hard and I am proud of myself, even if that other kid is batting, you know, more home runs. And that's, that prevents someone, instead of something feeling hard, like if you don't

• 15:34Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  have that, you're going to spiral based on someone else. Right? So to be able to find your win in sports, in parenting, separate from someone else's behavior, to me is such a mental health protector.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Right? Love that, absolutely.

• 15:52Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You have had, right? Some kind of heartbreaking moments in sports and racing, right? That, you know, the races where things didn't go the way you wanted to, injury that changed everything. And I know you've spoken about, in some ways, like, we learn more from those moments, probably over time, maybe not at that moment. Yeah, well, what have you learned from some of like the, can you, can you tell me about one of, a hard moment that comes to mind or a hard result? And how it felt in the moment? And then maybe over time, what, what you got from it?

• 16:23Speaker 01

  No, yeah, I mean, one of my toughest, toughest moments in sports came in 2008, when I was favored to win gold in the Olympics. I had been from 2020, from 20, from 2006 to 08, I was undefeated. I had been running really well, world number one, broke the American record, was just on track to just, it was just like, felt like it was meant to be. And also too, I mean, you know, I had worked really hard, you know, especially in 2008 with the Olympics being that season, it's just natural that you just up everything. I was eating right, resting, just doing all the things to, to win this Olympic gold medal. And so when it didn't happen for me on that night and I finished third. I felt like the world was going to come to an end, like literally.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  It was, it was the most devastating, heartbreaking experience I had had in my life up until that point. Because the other thing too, Dr. Becky, is the minute you cross that finish line, you know, you have to wait four more years if you get the opportunity to be there again. Because most athletes only make one Olympics in their, you know, sporting lifetime. And this was my second Olympics. So it was really, really, really, really crushing to have done all that work to get to that point and to only lose that race. So I ran 20 races that season. That was the only race I lost was the Olympic final. Like, I felt like I just wanted to go inside of the track and like just go down, like just where, you know, because I just felt like, like I felt my body was failing. Like I was literally like, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  And then as I was like, so I was bawling, crying. I was really, really disappointed. And I remember we, at that Olympic night, they gave us our medals that same night. Sometimes you get them the next day. And so they, you know, everything's happening so fast. I'm devastated. My heart feels like, I feel like I can't breathe. Like I'm having all these thoughts like, oh my God, that this just happened. You know, so there's just a lot of things happening, Dr. Becky, all at once. That made it extremely crushing. Yeah.

• 18:19Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I really thank you for being willing to put words to that. I think the interesting thing is like, there's no universality to being in the Olympics. That's like a very select group of people. But the feeling of like, something that I assumed kind of would happen and I worked hard for and I wanted, all of a sudden in a moment, there's like this disbelief of it not happening and the loss.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Dr. Becky, and less than, the race was less than a minute.

• 18:45Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  In less than a minute.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  That hope and dream that you had your whole life just gone in a minute. It's, it's, it's, it is really, and I'm getting emotional now thinking about it because it's like so hard to describe that. Like, you know what I mean? Like you think from I was nine years old, I'm like, this is my moment. This is my time. Like I beat all these girls all year. It's like. Why didn't it happen, you know?

• 19:06Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So here you are now, you've survived it, which is sometimes the best we can say about hard things. And what did, what did that looking back? It doesn't take away the pain. I think sometimes, um, we think like the growth takes away the pain or they just can both be true. So, you know, what, what, what have you taken from that? Or what did it do to you or do for you?

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you know, so there were, there are a bunch of lessons, but there was one that was like in the moment. Or I call it in the moment because the same Olympics a couple of days later. And then there's of course, what happened beyond that. But I think for me, what the best thing that happened to me was obviously my whole family, everybody knew how especially, how important it was to me. So they all gave me that night to like, cry and kind of mourn that, you know, lost opportunity moment. And I remember the next morning, um, my coach, uh, he, uh, he, of course I saw my coach after, but we didn't exchange a lot of words because he knew, you know? So the next day I was, I, we had the relay. So at the Olympics, you do individual events first. A couple of days later is the four by four relay. So I competed in the 400, the four by four relay. So I told my coach, I said, I'm not running.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  I can't even picture myself getting back on the track. Like there's just no way like my, the commentator out of Bolden, who is now my colleague, actually said, this was the biggest upset of the games. Like that's how much people had thought for sure I was going to win it. And so, um, so my coach says to me, he says, no, you don't, you're, I'm not going to allow you to do that. He said, you've worked too hard. You're going to leave here with a gold medal. And I remember, so thank God I had two days off. I said, I had the first day of like not getting out of bed. The second day of going back to my coach and him saying to me, no, I'm not going to allow you to do that. Um, you're going to get out there and you're going to win an Olympic gold medal. I run the anchor for Team USA and most of the times we get the baton in front.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Like I've always kind of run like a victory lap almost because our team is so dominant and we just, you know, are crushing it by the time I get the stick. And so this time, uh, in 2008, we actually get the stick behind Russia, right? So I get this thick, I am, um, behind the Russians. And, you know, it's going to take everything I've got to pull out this gold medal. And so already, of course, I'm, I'm very emotionally drained from all that I've gone through. Of course, I'm physically fit because I haven't trained, you know, forever for this. And so I remember pacing myself behind her, pacing myself behind her. And with the final 100 meters to go, I think, okay, I'm gonna just, I'm gonna pass her. I feel like I got it. So I go out and I don't pass her as quickly as I thought I would.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  And so I had to dig, I mean, I'm talking about from my pinky toe. I'm like, we gotta muster up, you know, what it's gonna take. And so in about the last 10 or 15 meters, I overtake her and I win gold for my team. And, you know, I think for me, the lesson I learned in that moment that I think has helped me through my entire life is we can overcome massive disappointment and still show up for ourselves and show up for what God has for us, you know? Because I could have missed out on that opportunity. I could have stayed and my team might have won silver and, you know, that moment would have happened. But the fact that the people around me, not just my coach, my mom, and everybody said, no, we're not gonna allow you to give up on yourself.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  It allowed me to have that moment that I think is, was for me, kind of the turning point in my career. The very next year I won Worlds and then I went on to win my Olympic gold medal in London in the individual. So I think that moment there of showing up in the face of all, I mean, all the things that was happening internally, externally, to still show up, go out there and have that level of success, it just proved to me that I can, I could do anything. You know, I could show up under any circumstance and be great.

• 22:50Dr. Becky Kennedy?

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• 23:35Dr. Becky Kennedy?

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• 24:18Dr. Becky Kennedy?

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• 24:59Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Proof of struggle isn't dangerous because it feels right. So, so there's two things I want to, I want to add on here. First of all, when I heard your language with what your coach said, right? Like, I'm not going to allow you to miss this. I'm not, right? It's interesting because to me, there's a direct parallel to what our kids need from us all the time. And I do think it's the thing that modern parenting is missing. I know at Good Inside, it's like a core principle to see your kid as capable. Right? And so, and to set them up to see that themselves. And we have to see our kid as capable so many times before they can access that feeling in themselves. And we can't collude.

• 25:45Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  With their assumption that they can't handle something because if your coach did, that's like in the moment, maybe it's temporary relief, but it's the worst feeling. And so just the other day I was talking to a friend and it's different, but so similar. Where their kid lost the starting spot in their soccer team, very competitive. And was like, I'm not going to practice today. I can't like, it's always the starting team. I'm going to walk out and I'll be like, wait, that's not even me. I'm going to be one of the kids watching from the sideline. I've never not started before. My friend called me, we talked through it and I said, what you're going to say is, you're going to that practice. I'll drive you. Okay. But in my life, but I won't let you

• 26:26Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  take away an opportunity to see you are capable of dealing with this. It's going to feel awful. It's going to feel embarrassing. It's going to be the worst practice of your soccer career. I'm in agreement with all of that, but to watch yourself just survive that. I will not let you take away that moment because for the rest of your life, soccer aside, you're going to have people get promoted before you do. You're going to have someone get married and get a big house and you can, whatever it is, you're going to have people get things. You're going to be disappointed. And I will not let you in this state, make this type of decision for yourself. And, and, and that's what we coached around and it was, it was, it was from a place of love and belief and capability, which is sound like exactly what your coach did.

• 27:10Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And kind of saying, you're not in a place on you to make this decision for yourself. I know you, like you're not in the best place to do that. And so I am going to set you up.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:20Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And, and I believe in you and like, I just had the chills thinking, thinking about that.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. When you repeat it, it gave me chills and my coach, I just passed away about a month ago. And so just, yeah, he was such an honorable and amazing man. And it also taught me too, that The people around me didn't care about the medals like this. It was so much deeper and so much more beautiful. And, you know, it was about just me. It was about my self-development. It was about me striving for my goals and just always showing up, doing my best. And so, yeah, I'm so grateful that he said those words to me. I will not allow you, you know, to miss this opportunity. And like I said, when people look like more people remember that race than even my individual London gold medal, because it resonates, right?

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Like, we all fall down. Like, we all fail. And, you know, to get back up and do something great, I think that, you know, that that made my story, I think, more relatable than just the win, win, win, win, win. Like, most people don't have that experience. Like, we, you know, it's a win. We fail forward, you know, all those things. So it was beautiful.

• 28:24Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I have to say, you're much more likable, just from...

• 28:30Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So, the other thing that came up, as you were talking about, I worked so hard and so hard and so long, and then it's gone in like a second. Honestly, the thing that resonated so deeply in my body is something I know I hear from parents all the time as a parallel, which is interesting for me, because I know this is something that's happened to you too, is miscarriage.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:58Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Is, as soon as we get pregnant, it's like, we have the date, we have the life, we imagine the thing, we're planning for the season, I'm gonna become a parent. And then it's just, it's so powerful that you use language that I hear from people all the time, like, in an instant, that was gone. Like, in an instant, that was gone. Like, I've kind of also wanted my whole life this, and, you know, or many months, and then it's gone. And so, and I know that's, that's a part of your, your parent journey as well.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, that was, and that was, I have a community called Mommy Nation, and so I'm around, like, you know, like, we talk about all the things, we're in community, and I have heard so many other moms talk about their experiences of miscarriage. But until you experience it for yourself, you don't realize just really how...

• 29:51Speaker 01

  Gut wrenching, heartbreaking it is because it's true. I think the minute you start to accept that you're, you know, you're a mom and you're like, it's happening and you're like excited about it and you, you know, start to think of the name in the room and then, and then it's just gone. There's this like, you know, strange dichotomy of like, did I do something wrong? Is something wrong with my, my body too? Was it meant to be like all of these thoughts of like, why did this happen? Yeah, miscarriage, you know, it, it's certainly different, right? Than losing Olympic gold medal. It, I think it cuts a little bit deeper because it's family. It's, you know, those things. And so, yeah, it was really, really, really hard. Um, it was a really hard life experience, but a couple of months later, we got pregnant

• 30:33Speaker 01

  again and I became a mom of two beaut- I mean, I, my second son is just, they're all amazing. So it's, you know, it's like, once again, that four by four Olympic final, right? I had the bad and then I get the good again. So thank God for that balance of, of, in life. But yeah, it was, it was really tough to experience that.

• 30:49Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  What, what are you, you speak about your kids with such joy.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:52Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Like what, um, yeah, what are, what are you proudest of in your family and your, in your parenting when you think about your kids?

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Oh, man, you know, I, first of all, I gotta say, you know, for, you know, all the mommies listening that I thought I was one and done, like really, Dr. Becky. I was like, I am one and done. And I wasn't like, it was like the door in my mind was closed. I, I felt like I just, there were so many things in my life that I still wanted to do and I, I didn't want to cheat my, my family. Like I wanted to be proud and I knew after having my son, like this is a full time, you know, commitment and I just don't want to like compound it, you know? And so for a long time, I wasn't in this, the, the, the, this, the headspace to have more kids. And so I'm really grateful that my husband is the kind of man that allowed me to like,

• 31:41Speaker 01

  you know, grow through my own growth and decide when it was right, you know? And so when we finally decided to go for our second, you know, uh, baby, um, and we had the miscarriage and then we actually had a son. I don't know, I just feel like you're, you feel like sometimes your heart, you don't, you don't have room or you're, you know, where, and it's like your heart just grows. You just end up with all this capacity to just love these little humans. And so that makes me happy. And my third son is like, my third son understood the assignment, Dr. Becky, like he showed up and he's like, I ain't gonna fuss, I ain't gonna cry.

• 32:13Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Happy to be here, happy to be here, guys. Thanks for including me.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  He's like, I ain't gonna cause no fuss. I'm gonna just sit here and chill. And he's the calmest baby. My other two are like crazy off the wall. And so, you know, he's just been a very easy addition. He hasn't caused us any additional strife. He's healthy, loving. So, yeah, and I'm just really proud of where we've come as a family. You know, like, I thought we were gonna be a family of three. Now, we're an awesome, loving family of five. And I just, yeah, I just love it.

• 32:42Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I love that. Um, so, speaking of kids, I'm sure you noticed the athletic world around you, kids these days, you know, doing sports, competitive sports. A couple of questions around, kind of, I'm curious about, you know, if you had like some toolkit for the next generation, some of the things that that might include. So, yeah, let's start with for young girls in sports. When you think about young girls in sports, trying to figure out where they fit, feeling like enough, you know, the drive to do well and maintain your mental health. Like, what's a message you have for them?

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, and, you know, I kind of alluded to that in the beginning of our conversation, is that they're definitely navigating a whole new environment and space when it comes to being a great athlete, uh, being in sports as a woman in sports, because I think that comes with a whole nother level of mental toughness that is required. Um, because, you know, when you're a woman in sports, and I don't know if this may be in life, Dr. Becky, you can tell me, but it requires more, right, for you to kind of get the same stuff, you know? Like, you can't just be great. You also gotta speak well. You gotta look a certain way. There's so many other buts, buts, buts, or ands, ands, ands. Um, but what I'll tell you is, and I've, I've really loved to see this, is that there has been a shift and a change in sports that I think young girls can lean into.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  I would say to the young girl out there, um, to just be authentic, show up 100% who you are. I would say to work hard, like, that's, there's no shortcut to success. I think people now think there's like a microwaveable success. There's no shortcuts to success. You're gonna have to put in the work, believe in yourself, surround yourself with good people, positive people, and the sky's the limit.

• 34:24Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  What trait or quality, not physical, more emotional, mental, do you feel like is really important for young athletes to be building?

• 34:33Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, I would say, I would say, we talked about it too, is that kind of like being able to turn back into yourself. Like, I think you have to You have to set goals for yourself and constantly be checking in with those personal goals so that you don't get so caught up with what's going on around you that you lose your way. And so, you know, I, I, I didn't mention this earlier, but one of the other shifts in my career that I think helped me so much after 2008 was I started working with a sports psychologist. And I wish I had started doing it sooner. If anyone's, if someone had told me, I would have done it sooner. But it really helped me because I was honing all my skills physically with my strength coach, my track coach, but I really wasn't fine tuning my mental toughness. And so,

• 35:18Speaker 01

  when I got with Dr. Corley and we started to work on the skills that it took to really be present in the moment to quiet that monkey chatter, that noise in our minds that sometimes distracts us from being great, it really changed the game for me. And so I would also encourage young people, especially ones that want to perform at the highest level, to work with a sports psychologist or a psychologist to really help to give you the tools that you need to be present and fully mentally prepared to execute at your highest level when you become an elite athlete.

• 35:49Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  After, after the loss, whether it's a race or the game, a bad game, but what do you think about telling young athletes? Like, how should they handle that? What should they say to themselves? What thoughts should they watch out for?

• 35:59Speaker 01

  I think after a really tough loss, you gotta remember the sun is gonna come up tomorrow. The world is not coming to an end. And that challenges come to refine us. They don't come to keep us down. And so I've, I always tell people that, you know, failure is a recipe in the ingredients for success. And so you're not gonna get to that final point of success without experiencing some failure. So you gotta figure out how to embrace it, lean into it. I always say you fail forward. So, you know, failing feels like you're falling down, but if you're failing forward, when you get up, you're in a better, you're in a better place. And so I think it is not to be afraid of failing, but to embrace it in the best way

• 36:42Speaker 01

  that you can, learn from it, and then get back to work.

• 36:47Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I love that idea of like thinking about it like an ingredient in that recipe. Cause I, I think about that too. Like I'll be watching a team I like and, you know, I'm a big fan of Duke basketball or, you know, big Boston sports fans here. And, you know, they'll lose in the regular season and, you know, it's always, you know, first of all, I'm not on the team, but still as a fan, you're like, oh, man, right? But if you think about the ultimate goal and the championship and the playoffs, like, You need that hard loss. You need, because you need to know, nothing someone tells you is going to give you the experience of that feeling, that feeling. You can't, and that feeling when you're in the championship game, like, that's going to drive you again. If you hate losing,

• 37:28Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  you're like, I do not want that to happen. But if you don't know the feeling and you can't use it, I have to imagine you're not going to get to that next level.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  Absolutely. It's fuel. It is certainly fuel.

• 37:40Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Um, okay, thinking about your kids' question, when your kids are older, and someone innocently asks them, oh, your mom, like, what, what was she like? What is she like? And they kind of answer, and they say, oh, my mom, she, how do you hope they finish that sentence?

• 37:57Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that question. Um, I hope that they'll say that their mom was always very loving, um, very supportive, very thoughtful. Um, and that, um, you know, I was someone that always did my best to try to help to set them up to have, you know, the best future that they could have. And so in every way, like, I'm constantly thinking about, you know, like, what do they need now to be able to be successful in the future, whether that's in school, or sports, or financially, like, how can I kind of help them to, you know, face some of those pitfalls that are going to come? And so everything that happens now, like, we, my husband and I both try to see it as a lesson, you know, for the future. So I hope that they'll say that I was loving, thoughtful, kind, and always preparing them to be the best versions of themselves in the future.

• 38:43Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  So beautiful. Again, I think a lot about how at Good Inside, we talk about to parents being long-term greedy. We want to stay connected to our kid now. Of course, we want these wins, but you're parenting today because you know the impact of parenting on your kids when they're 18 and 38 and 58, when inevitably, the stakes are going to be higher than when they're eight, right? And so that I know, I don't know if you think about it this way, being long-term greedy, besides the opportunities my kids have, it's why, I think I really think about that in the moment they're Let's say they're left out of a birthday party or they're struggling with math. That I don't tell them, oh, this is great for you. But internally, one of the reasons I think I can stay grounded is I realized,

• 39:26Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  wait, my kid's going to be left out of things for the rest of their life. Or my kid will learn how to read and do math, but they're going to do things the rest of their life that don't come to them immediately, or don't come maybe as fast as they do to the person next to them. And if I can stay in this moment and not just fix it and rescue if I, if I can help them get support in the struggle without stealing their competence. That to me is the ultimate long-term greedy perspective. And so I agree. I think your kids don't necessarily say thank you in the moment for it, but I think it's the thing when they're older, they'll be like, oh, that was really good for me and I'm grateful.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 40:08Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I want to do, I know there's no official overtime in track and field, but this is overtime. So it's the extra race. And so a little bit of rapid fire to kind of wrap us up. Best piece of advice you got in your career?

• 40:21Speaker 01

  I, the best piece of advice I got was my aunt once told me, the brave may fall, but never yield. And I feel like I live that every day. Like there's failures and stuff, but you just never yield relentless.

• 40:33Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Any superstition, especially when you were racing that you like secretly believed like actually helped you?

• 40:40Speaker 01

  It's really silly, but my mom, my mom gave me this like little bullet necklace and she gave it to me when I was really young. And she said it was like for me was a year faster than a speeding bullet. And so I used to always wear it when I, when I raced, like it was like my lucky charm. And I didn't wear it for one race when I was like in high school or something and I lost and I was like, I'm never taking this necklace off again. And even though I did have some losses with it on, I still always felt like that was kind of my lucky charm and I wore it my entire career.

• 41:08Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Love that. The last thing your kid did, one of your kids did that kind of like knocked you off your rocker, like really kept you humble.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a good one. Oh, man. So my son, my eight year old is like obsessed with like he one day getting married and having like a fam, like, you know, like you're eight, you're eight, like slow down. So he comes home and he's like, mom, we have a dance on, um, you know, coming up. Can I, can I ask Kelsey to go with them like?

• 41:37Speaker 01

  You're eight.

• 41:39Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  He's a planner.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So he's already okay. But and then my, you know, my husband, I love it, right? Because he sees a loving relationship. So he really wants it already. So I'm like, okay, it's a positive thing. But it still kind of has me like, I don't know how to feel about this. You're just eight, asking to go on like a date already? I don't know.

• 41:56Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Love it. These kids, they're advanced. A moment from your career that maybe the cameras didn't catch, but like you hold with a lot of pride.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  I think it was around 2007 was when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Baschett's. So I had really bad like mouth ulcers. I would get skin lesions that looked like someone burnt me overnight. It was like really bizarre. And so I remember, you know, some of my training days where I would have such bad ulcers in my mouth, I'd have to like literally run with like a cup in my mouth so that my, my, um, my teeth wouldn't scrape against my, um, my jaw. And I remember my coach always saying, you know, like, he's like, son, like, no one's seeing this right now, but this is the work that you're doing. And that's going to one day, you know, pay off for that Olympic gold medal. So I would say that those would be the moments. So that's like one that always comes to my mind. It's like the stuff that I used to do that nobody knew that I was like really suffering

• 42:48Speaker 01

  through to still fight towards this dream. I would say that was one of them.

• 42:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Relentless. And one thing that you would tell parents who have kids in competitive sports today?

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Um, I would tell them to follow their kids' lead.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  I would say to just ensure that that drive, that desire is really coming from, you know, their kid and, um, and then just do everything that they can to support them. So whether that's doing the research to understand like what that kid might need, what kind of coaching and support, um, whether it is exposing them to a game, like going to professional games, they can kind of see and set that big goal really early, you know, experiencing the Olympics together, experiencing it together where they feel like, wow, this is special and I want to aspire towards doing that. I think as parents, we can be really creative in how we open up that dream for our kids. And so I would say just being present and understanding like where they are and just kind of meeting them there and supporting them in every way, um, so that they, they,

• 43:53Speaker 01

  if they, if they desire it, they can be great in that sport.

• 43:57Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I could talk to you forever. I want to thank you. This has been, I've learned so much. I feel so connected to your, so many parts of your story. And I'm just so grateful for this time together. So, thank you.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. This is really great. I really appreciate it.

• 44:18Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I got so much out of this conversation, but I can tell you the thing that's loudest in my head. It is the moment her coach said to her after she got the bronze in 2008. "I won't allow you to miss this next race. I won't allow you." This is the essence in my mind of leadership, of seeing goodness, of seeing capability. I think in our hardest moments, we're desperate for people to see our pain. But we're also desperate for them to see our competence, to see our ability to cope, to have hope for something that inevitably allows us to eventually access that hope as well. That was such a powerful moment in her story.

• 45:04Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  And I know that's something that I try to use to inspire my parenting with my own kids as well.

• 45:11Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  Let's end the way we always do. Place your feet on the ground. Place a hand on your heart. Let's remind ourselves, even as we struggle on the outside, we remain good inside.

• 45:27Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  I'll see you soon.

• 45:37Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  You know that feeling when your brain is at full capacity, right? I mean, you have a reminder from the dentist in your email, a birthday party invitation on the fridge, and your kid just texted you about a soccer game they forgot to mention until that moment? And you just cannot remember one more thing.

• 45:53Dr. Becky Kennedy?

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• 46:33Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T.com/Becky for $30 off your 15-inch calendar. myskylight.com/becky. You know, parents carry a lot. In fact, data show that most parents spend every waking hour caring for someone else. So if you feel exhausted and stretched thin, you're not alone, and that makes sense. And look, I also know from experience what a relief it is to find caregiving support, finding a babysitter you trust and your kids will have fun with. That makes it so much easier to go back to work, or travel, or yeah, even go on one date with your partner.

• 47:15Dr. Becky Kennedy?

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• 47:59Dr. Becky Kennedy?

  When it's not you, it's Care.com.