MBMBaM 786: Flatman

After almost 800 episodes we finally make the big reveal that this has actually been a yo-yo-ing podcast the entire time. We talk in-depth about these orbs and demonstrate neat tricks like the Batman Punch, The Cilantro Grab, and the Crayon Saturn. Suggested talking points: Realtime Youtube Metrics, Let Me Finish Turning on Our Religious Upbringing, Armed Farm Guards, Upside-down Apple, Crying at the Wendy's Drive-Thru Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy Brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother My Brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:16Travis McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis Big Dog Wolf Wolf McElroy.

• 1:22Griffin McElroy?

  Shit, he's doing remixes of some of your favorite classics. This is your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy, and Justin is joining us from fucking G4 TV, fucking tech TV ass attack.

• 1:38Travis McElroy?

  It's G4 mid aughts. I got my Funko Pops in here.

• 1:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, bro.

• 1:45Travis McElroy?

  We got a big office.

• 1:46Travis McElroy?

  Folksy cross stitches.

• 1:48Griffin McElroy?

  Huge office remodel and folks not watching this because it may or may not be watchable.

• 1:54Travis McElroy?

  The fact that I'm wearing a picture of my.

• 1:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but it's also my face and Travis's face.

• 1:58Travis McElroy?

  My face is on this, but I can see it.

• 2:00Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's, we're zoomed out on Juice. Establishing shot, interior, daytime.

• 2:06Travis McElroy?

  No, don't change your shirt.

• 2:07Griffin McElroy?

  Justin gets embarrassed and has to change his shirt. We're zoomed out, so the crop includes a little bit of desk. We've got some keyboard action on there. I think we're seeing the top of his monitor. This is the news station. It's like Justin's our man in the chair. And Travis, I noticed that maybe to match, you've also zoomed out your own camera so that your keyboard's in it. And did you just turn it backwards? The shirt?

• 2:31Travis McElroy?

  Is it backwards?

• 2:33Travis McElroy?

  I don't, I just, it was very distracting.

• 2:35Griffin McElroy?

  Well, it's.

• 2:36Travis McElroy?

  Cause it's me.

• 2:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:37Travis McElroy?

  And I try to think about if I'm gonna be looking at a camera.

• 2:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:40Travis McElroy?

  When I get dressed in the morning to see if I have pictures of myself or things that I made up, right?

• 2:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you're also.

• 2:46Travis McElroy?

  Cause I don't like to do that.

• 2:46Griffin McElroy?

  I, I think maybe it's just the way your shit's set up now, Juice, is you're barreling a lot. You're giving me lots of little Jim Halpert.

• 2:53Travis McElroy?

  Can I say?

• 2:54Griffin McElroy?

  So the thing is, right to the fucking dome, dude.

• 2:56Travis McElroy?

  If I can bring you guys inside the bit, okay? So I'm still figuring out some of the quirks of the studio, okay? You guys are down here. So do you see this blue thing?

• 3:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:05Travis McElroy?

  That's you guys.

• 3:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:07Travis McElroy?

  Okay. And then, and then the Hoops Troops, they're up there.

• 3:11Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 3:12Travis McElroy?

  What I'm getting right now. This is helping me, what's helping me to remember to not focus on, cause I've been so focused on you guys.

• 3:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but that's not, we don't pay you.

• 3:20Travis McElroy?

  You don't pay me.

• 3:21Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 3:21Travis McElroy?

  They pay me.

• 3:22Travis McElroy?

  And what I'm getting right now is very much Justin, like news anchor. And with my thing zoomed out, you can see so many plants that I feel like I'm in the field.

• 3:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:31Travis McElroy?

  Like I'm reporting in the field. And so Griffin, I'm picturing you in a helicopter.

• 3:35Griffin McElroy?

  See, for me, I was thinking, I'm like the guy at the board and they switch to him like every, like just show him like, doing that to like someone in the corner.

• 3:45Travis McElroy?

  Oh, like when Regis and Kathie Lee used to like cut to their like director.

• 3:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they would say something like, and you know who loves stinky pizza is Teddy? And they cut to Teddy in the studio and he's not even like paying attention. He's like, over there, hit the tape.

• 3:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, don't.

• 3:58Griffin McElroy?

  That's me right now. You guys in fucking 8K, fucking Attack of the TV, TV ass news desk. And I look like a clown.

• 4:07Travis McElroy?

  Griffin keeps holding out high definition feeds as something to be embarrassed of.

• 4:11Griffin McElroy?

  It's, you're so crisp, dude. I can see your vascularity. It's crazy, dude.

• 4:16Travis McElroy?

  I don't like that.

• 4:16Travis McElroy?

  Talk about my plants, Griffin.

• 4:18Griffin McElroy?

  Your plants look good too, dude, but you're giving me like three, three and a half K tops.

• 4:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I turned down the K's so that it wouldn't be overwhelming for Travis Nation.

• 4:27Griffin McElroy?

  I'm getting a lot of K's by the K's right now.

• 4:29Travis McElroy?

  I can't give Travis Nation too much. You know what I mean?

• 4:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:34Travis McElroy?

  The loyalty is already spiking.

• 4:36Griffin McElroy?

  Dirty dogs.

• 4:37Travis McElroy?

  They are.

• 4:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:39Travis McElroy?

  And I love it. I love my dirty dogs.

• 4:42Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah, you do say that privately a lot. Will Batman get to heaven? That's from Matt. Thank you, Travis.

• 4:50Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks Travis for putting that question in the show.

• 4:51Travis McElroy?

  This is a big swing at the beginning.

• 4:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:53Travis McElroy?

  And it's not an advice question. It's not the kind of thing we normally.

• 4:57Griffin McElroy?

  No, I'm so confused by why you chose to lead off with it.

• 5:01Travis McElroy?

  I think sometimes it's nice to have a good thought starter.

• 5:04Griffin McElroy?

  Matt, Matt.

• 5:05Travis McElroy?

  And I will say what, what Travis just said is true. Is that sometimes it is nice to have a good thought starter. That is true.

• 5:16Griffin McElroy?

  And now, like that one.

• 5:18Travis McElroy?

  This is, this is a boiled down, like, hey, do you want to get to the heart of morality in one simple question in a few words? Would Batman get into heaven?

• 5:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:31Travis McElroy?

  This is going to say a lot, I think, individually about our views on morality.

• 5:36Travis McElroy?

  So this is actually one of the things the perks of the studio does have that I think is really exciting is.

• 5:44Travis McElroy?

  It's got this.

• 5:45Griffin McElroy?

  Holy shit, dude.

• 5:46Travis McElroy?

  Board that I've hooked up to our YouTube, right? So like, I can see what Travis is doing. I can see the effect it's having on our subscribers. And let me just take a quick look. No, it's not moving the needle at all, Trav. We are stuck 398. I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry. No new subscribers from this bit. I'm sorry they want us to-

• 6:04Travis McElroy?

  We do need to hit a million so that my children will respect me even more. Yeah. Cause I have the silver play button up on my wall, but that's 100,000 subscribers. And I don't think that's reflective.

• 6:15Griffin McElroy?

  If we don't get to 500,000 subscribers today, they're gonna put me back in the big button box. And you guys know I hate the big button box. They make me guess the button that lets me out, but most of the buttons just burn me and dump worms on me.

• 6:28Travis McElroy?

  Churning out the pixels that people crave.

• 6:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Travis McElroy?

  And I'm wearing a Batman shirt, which is complete, a complete happenstance for this question. So would Batman- That is still a pressing concern.

• 6:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Travis McElroy?

  We are still going to address.

• 6:41Griffin McElroy?

  Batman, okay. So we know from the movie where the boy gets, gets zapped while he's on the Ferris wheel and dies for 10 minutes, that heaven is for real. Batman is debatable. I'm guessing we don't want to get into semantics like, is Clooney getting into heaven? It, yes.

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  No, I think conceptual Batman.

• 7:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 7:03Travis McElroy?

  A Batman of the mind.

• 7:04Griffin McElroy?

  Batman.

• 7:05Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 7:06Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm. He's never murdered, but that's just one of the sins. So like, you don't get up there and St. Pete's like, let me check, no murders. That's cool. Go on it.

• 7:17Travis McElroy?

  Punisher's not getting into heaven.

• 7:19Griffin McElroy?

  Punisher-

• 7:20Travis McElroy?

  Why can't Punisher get into heaven?

• 7:21Griffin McElroy?

  That's the thing. Punisher's done a lot of murders, but he's-

• 7:24Travis McElroy?

  Punisher is, hey, hey Trav, I'll just say Punisher's a vet. So-

• 7:27Griffin McElroy?

  He's a vet and I can't believe you'd say that.

• 7:29Travis McElroy?

  Have a good, have a good Monday.

• 7:30Griffin McElroy?

  He's never done lust.

• 7:31Travis McElroy?

  Is getting into heaven? Enjoy your Monday, dude.

• 7:34Griffin McElroy?

  Punisher's never had one impure sexual thought, even one time. Nor has anyone who wears Punisher merchandise in real life. Never one lustful idea even crosses their mind.

• 7:45Travis McElroy?

  I will say, we've seen Batman, we've seen Batman succumb to the charms of Catwoman.

• 7:52Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:53Travis McElroy?

  Poison Ivy.

• 7:54Griffin McElroy?

  I bet he watches pornography on his big computer in his Batcave. Uh, we all know what happens in there.

• 8:02Travis McElroy?

  There are certain scheduled times where Alfred's not allowed to come down.

• 8:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude.

• 8:06Travis McElroy?

  So if he, if he gets to heaven and we're, I think we have to assume, okay. The way we were raised.

• 8:14Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 8:14Travis McElroy?

  The way we were raised.

• 8:15Travis McElroy?

  Back in my day.

• 8:16Travis McElroy?

  Okay, the way we were raised, what we understood is that the only way you got into heaven was through an abiding faith in Jesus Christ as your savior, right?

• 8:25Griffin McElroy?

  They were way more chill than that for me. They were super chill. They did not say.

• 8:30Travis McElroy?

  They were real, you got a different.

• 8:32Griffin McElroy?

  They were like, just say you're saved. And I'm saying, they're like, you're good. Go for it, man.

• 8:35Travis McElroy?

  But you don't know the content. You could say it out loud. You proclaim it from the body of the church, but only Christ knows the contents of Batman's heart. You know what I mean? So like, I can't sit here and tell you authoritatively if Batman will get into heaven because that is such a deep and personal connection between him and Jesus Christ. And if he has been saved in that crimson blood that was shed so many years ago on Calvary.

• 8:59Travis McElroy?

  I will say, Justin, the new studio setup has really changed your views on faith.

• 9:03Griffin McElroy?

  Dude, I gotta say, it's changed a lot about the energy of this show. I can't stress enough. We never push people to our video content in the audio feeds. You simply must see the vibe Justin's serving right now. It's really, really crazy. It's a power, it's a huge power play. It's a dominance play that I was, you did not want.

• 9:22Travis McElroy?

  I'm turning on our religious upbringing. If you'll let me finish the thought. What I'm saying is that Batman.

• 9:29Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to go to a heaven where someone who has worked so hard.

• 9:32Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 9:32Travis McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 9:34Travis McElroy?

  For the people of Gotham is not going to be admitted for why? Cause he was Episcopalian or Methodist or whatever the wrong team? Come on.

• 9:42Travis McElroy?

  Well, I think it would more because he punched all those people.

• 9:46Griffin McElroy?

  Punching's fine.

• 9:47Travis McElroy?

  Got, got Jesus flipped over the tables.

• 9:50Travis McElroy?

  Excellent point.

• 9:52Griffin McElroy?

  There was that one day where Jesus beat ass and people really, really, I don't know. They like to bring that one up a lot. I feel like you hear less about the parables and more about the time he went absolutely ape shit on the money lenders.

• 10:03Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that rule though.

• 10:04Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, yeah, but it's like the deal, he also healed people from death and he, but everyone just wants to talk about the time he went fucking John Wick ass, nobody ass on those. On those candy ass money lenders.

• 10:16Travis McElroy?

  You know what? I wonder sometimes about the water into wine. Cause that was like his. Crappy mountain goats cassette first try demo tape and everybody's still talking about.

• 10:26Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, that was a crazy one.

• 10:27Travis McElroy?

  Talk about wine and water without somebody being like.

• 10:29Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, let me.

• 10:29Travis McElroy?

  Do you think he could do other liquids into other liquids? Or do you think he was limited to that?

• 10:34Griffin McElroy?

  I think it's probably just that, but we're, I mean, we can talk all day about how cool Jesus.

• 10:37Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to talk about Jesus.

• 10:38Griffin McElroy?

  I'm talking.

• 10:39Travis McElroy?

  I don't think Batman would go to heaven because he would request to go to hell to beat more ass.

• 10:45Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's cool, dude.

• 10:46Travis McElroy?

  I think that Saint Pete would be like, yeah, Batman, come on in. He'd be like, no, send me to hell.

• 10:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:51Travis McElroy?

  Cause I'm gonna beat up demons. Okay, okay, wait. Hmm. If I'm Batman and I get to choose.

• 10:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:00Travis McElroy?

  Which I like that. I would go to hell. Why? Because of the existence of Lazarus Pit. So Ra's al Ghul and his daughter Talia.

• 11:08Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 11:09Travis McElroy?

  Access to Lazarus Pit.

• 11:10Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 11:11Travis McElroy?

  Can bring people back from life.

• 11:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:13Travis McElroy?

  From death.

• 11:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:13Travis McElroy?

  Excuse me. To life. Okay, so.

• 11:16Griffin McElroy?

  Batman won't bring people back from life. Batman's one rule is he won't bring people back from life.

• 11:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I learned my lesson. I tried to bring my mom back and she's a zombie. It's so scary. She's trapped in this big metal suit of armor. She's the big penny. I fucked up. I made my mom into a big penny with magic. She's my big penny. I'm sorry, Alfred. She's the big penny. Okay. What I'm saying is if I'm Batman and I know there's a chance that Talia Agul or her father Ra's al Ghul is going to summon me back to existence.

• 11:47Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 11:47Travis McElroy?

  With the Lazarus Pit.

• 11:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:48Travis McElroy?

  I do not want to be pulled out of the bosom of Jesus.

• 11:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:51Travis McElroy?

  I want to come back from hell.

• 11:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:53Travis McElroy?

  Mad.

• 11:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:54Travis McElroy?

  Can you imagine a Batman who was already pretty scary?

• 11:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:58Travis McElroy?

  And then he was, he went to hell for a while?

• 12:00Griffin McElroy?

  We get kind of a ghostwriter Batman is what you're describing?

• 12:04Travis McElroy?

  That's probably a thing.

• 12:05Griffin McElroy?

  There's gotta be and like.

• 12:07Travis McElroy?

  We gotta do that amalgam crossover.

• 12:08Griffin McElroy?

  There's gotta be like an Alan Moore strip where Batman does go to hell. So.

• 12:13Travis McElroy?

  Alan Moore's comic strips were amazing. I used to read them in the newspaper every Sunday morning.

• 12:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:18Travis McElroy?

  And they would crack me up.

• 12:22Travis McElroy?

  Right below Slylock Fox.

• 12:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:24Travis McElroy?

  His run on Mutt's was epic.

• 12:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:28Travis McElroy?

  So good. He took Beetle Bailey in such a weird direction.

• 12:31Travis McElroy?

  Batman gonna get into heaven, though? Travis?

• 12:35Travis McElroy?

  Well, he'll never die.

• 12:37Travis McElroy?

  Okay, that's interesting. This is, see, that's why I was touching on the Lazarus Pit. It's like, you're talking about a a narrative version of a Batman that can't die.

• 12:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:46Travis McElroy?

  I don't think it's most helpful for determining an afterlife, right?

• 12:51Travis McElroy?

  If Batman were to die, I think he would go to heaven because I think God would wanna hang out with Batman.

• 12:56Griffin McElroy?

  You guys don't know about this. But Batman can't kill people, and so all of his bad guys, they also know they can't kill Batman.

• 13:05Travis McElroy?

  You saw me just take Travis by the scruff of his neck and bring him back to the premise of the question and say, what will happen? And then you immediately piled on and say, no, no, no, Batman can't die. Griffin? Is Batman gonna go to heaven when he dies? Or hell?

• 13:19Griffin McElroy?

  I'm saying Batman doesn't kill people. Batman doesn't kill people, so they know not to kill him. It's haunted house rules.

• 13:26Travis McElroy?

  That's true, because in Batman Beyond, canonically, we get old man Batman.

• 13:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:31Travis McElroy?

  When Batman dies, it will be him trying to do one of his sick-ass disappearances too fast. It'll be somebody turning around, right? And they're like, anyway, Batman, I was gonna, and then they turn around like, where'd he go? And then they're gonna hear, ah, fuck!

• 13:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:47Griffin McElroy?

  He zip line up.

• 13:48Travis McElroy?

  That's how they'll get him.

• 13:48Griffin McElroy?

  He zip line up to the gargoyle, but he doesn't stop it. Gargoyle will fall right on him, squish a Batman pizza.

• 13:55Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 13:56Griffin McElroy?

  Now he's in.

• 13:57Travis McElroy?

  I had it, Batman. I did that Arkham City constantly. It happens all the time. It is a hazard of the job.

• 14:04Griffin McElroy?

  It gets a Batman, he's nervous, he approaches Saint Pete. Saint Pete's like, don't worry, punching's okay, and you never had a single lustful thought.

• 14:11Travis McElroy?

  Also, the Joker's here.

• 14:12Griffin McElroy?

  The Joker is here.

• 14:13Travis McElroy?

  The Joker also got in.

• 14:15Griffin McElroy?

  He did a lot of bad stuff, actions, but his heart and his brain was very good, and we love that here.

• 14:20Travis McElroy?

  And he kept the tithes, man. I don't know what to tell you.

• 14:22Griffin McElroy?

  Joker was, he was a dilly, he did 15% Batman. He went above and beyond.

• 14:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, he's in, man. He got saved like six times.

• 14:31Travis McElroy?

  All we cared about was tithing.

• 14:33Griffin McElroy?

  That was it.

• 14:33Travis McElroy?

  The whole time, that was the whole bit. All you had to do was give 10%.

• 14:38Travis McElroy?

  To afford his tithes.

• 14:39Griffin McElroy?

  That's it.

• 14:40Travis McElroy?

  You didn't have to take care of anybody, just tithe 10%, I'll take care of the rest.

• 14:44Griffin McElroy?

  Batman's gotta go to heaven. Next question, please.

• 14:47Travis McElroy?

  Is learning the yo-yo really that hard, or is it just me? I'm not one trying to, okay, sorry. There's a lot of words in this one. I'm gonna take another pass.

• 14:55Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 14:56Travis McElroy?

  Is learning to yo-yo really hard? Or is it just me? I'm not one to keep trying at something that I'm not good at immediately, but I really wanna yo-yo. Do y'all remember ever being relatively proficient in throwing yo-yo? I watched so many tutorial videos and I'm still banging my head against the wall here. Please. I wanna have yo-yo fun and also impress my BF. Thank you.

• 15:21Griffin McElroy?

  Are you gonna say who that's from?

• 15:23Travis McElroy?

  Hmm, yep. Yo nope in Charlotte. That's from Yo nope in Charlotte.

• 15:30Travis McElroy?

  Now, Justin, you had a proficient yo-yo phase. Is that correct?

• 15:34Travis McElroy?

  I, like all my fixations, I got just good enough to annoy people that actually know what they're doing. That's what I would say. That's what I would, I got just enough to act like I know too much in conversation.

• 15:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yep.

• 15:48Travis McElroy?

  I could do like 10 tricks. Uh, I, I will say honestly, this person is probably the yo-yo. There are some yo-yos that have a tight fixed axle that just wanna come right back.

• 15:58Griffin McElroy?

  Tell me about it. No, I'm agreeing. This is not exasperation. This is me expressing frustration with a tight fixed axle.

• 16:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's not, it's not frustration. That's better for looping tricks. But if you wanna, if you wanna do sleeping tricks, you need a loose axle that's gonna spin.

• 16:11Griffin McElroy?

  You need a butterfly to DNA.

• 16:13Travis McElroy?

  Butterfly, if you wanna do like a looping trick, like you wanna catch it on the, the string.

• 16:17Griffin McElroy?

  We love those. Yeah.

• 16:18Travis McElroy?

  You could mod it.

• 16:20Griffin McElroy?

  Mod it too. Brace it, mod it, extra bearings.

• 16:22Travis McElroy?

  Add some LEDs.

• 16:23Griffin McElroy?

  Fatter bearings, LEDs.

• 16:25Travis McElroy?

  Started with a yo-yo ball.

• 16:26Travis McElroy?

  Cool babe tricks.

• 16:27Travis McElroy?

  That's a, the yo-yo ball that comes back to you all the time.

• 16:29Griffin McElroy?

  Now, that's interesting, cuz that's one of the worst ideas that you've done today. And it's because, did you know that a yo-yo ball is a toy invented by Satan to, to challenge us? And it makes kids see it and they say, I want that. And you say, cool, yeah, yo-yo ball? That's a staple in my youth. Let's grab it. But what you forget is that it's a heavy plastic ball that you throw. And then it actually, and they don't put this in the commercials, is designed to come right back at your teeth as fast and as hard as it possibly can. It's a plastic ball you throw that then comes right for your mouth to polish.

• 17:02Travis McElroy?

  A self-inflicted mace.

• 17:03Griffin McElroy?

  It's a mace. It's a morning star that you use on yourself. And it doesn't even look a little like yo-yoing.

• 17:10Travis McElroy?

  Originally, a yo-yo griffin was a weapon. A yo-yo was designed to be at the top of a tree. And you would hide in the tree and then you would drop the tool and you would hit the person and then how you bring it back up.

• 17:23Travis McElroy?

  Just like in Star Tropics.

• 17:25Griffin McElroy?

  Just like, just like in Star Tropics.

• 17:26Travis McElroy?

  Exactly.

• 17:27Travis McElroy?

  But I don't think it was a weapon.

• 17:29Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think they invented the yo-yo and the person who invented the weapon yo-yo was like, hey, guys, check this shit out. Wow, wow, wow, pal, in their own face to hurt themselves.

• 17:36Travis McElroy?

  Probably the first time, though.

• 17:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:39Travis McElroy?

  I don't think the first person to invent a yo-yo pulled off walk the dog the first time.

• 17:44Griffin McElroy?

  It would be so cool if we never got weapons better than yo-yos. And so then all war was just sort of just doing.

• 17:53Travis McElroy?

  And the second amendment was like, right to bear yo-yos?

• 17:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but I think that would be better.

• 17:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Griffin, I actually do think that would be better. Is it just our country? Because I do think we will be beat up a lot. Or is it worldwide?

• 18:09Travis McElroy?

  All the countries to agree on it.

• 18:10Travis McElroy?

  Again, Griffin, let's say this, if it's just our country, we're going to need some very good yo-yos.

• 18:14Travis McElroy?

  Or very big yo-yos.

• 18:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, and can't have any tight axles here because we're going up against.

• 18:19Travis McElroy?

  The arms race is like, just keep making yo-yos bigger and bigger.

• 18:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:23Travis McElroy?

  Until eventually they're like, you can't have that yo-yo is the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. You can't use that. It's a war crime to use that yo-yo.

• 18:32Griffin McElroy?

  You can have like Duncan have its own paramilitary force that they, that they use mercenaries trained in the art of forbidden yo-yos with two strings.

• 18:41Travis McElroy?

  Yo-Jos.

• 18:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yo-Jos is good.

• 18:43Travis McElroy?

  I'm kind of struggling a bit. Can I talk to you guys for a second?

• 18:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:46Travis McElroy?

  Let's go over here.

• 18:46Travis McElroy?

  I spent that time, I spent that time learning yo-yo tricks and I have not done a yo-yo trick. I have not touched a yo-yo in years.

• 18:53Griffin McElroy?

  I know you have one.

• 18:54Travis McElroy?

  Sitting here thinking like, a younger me, a different me.

• 18:58Travis McElroy?

  A yo-younger you.

• 19:00Travis McElroy?

  Would have gone to get the yo-yo and say like, for the, for the podcast, for the vine, I'll do it like, and I'm not, I'm clearly not. I'm not standing. I'm not going to get it.

• 19:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I was surprised, dude.

• 19:11Travis McElroy?

  I'm staying here, right?

• 19:12Travis McElroy?

  You did see him that turn your shirt around. So like, we know that that.

• 19:16Griffin McElroy?

  Are you afraid we'll see your back and see the design with your face on it and know that your shirt is backwards or is it an inside out?

• 19:23Travis McElroy?

  Inside out, okay.

• 19:24Travis McElroy?

  So that our faces are against your bosom.

• 19:26Travis McElroy?

  So sorry, Trav, the cut wouldn't be flattering?

• 19:28Griffin McElroy?

  You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Hey, Justin, go get, go get your fucking yo-yo. Go get your shine box.

• 19:37Travis McElroy?

  Okay, let me get, see, I don't even know if I have one. Sheesh.

• 19:40Travis McElroy?

  Okay, this is the second time he's left.

• 19:43Griffin McElroy?

  Well, he has to get his yo-yo because I want to see, I'm, I'll be honest, Travis, we just got back from what felt like our fourth tour in a month and a half. I'm feeling a little bit worn out, a little exhausted for this early morning.

• 19:55Travis McElroy?

  And you think this yo-yo is gonna really pump it up?

• 19:56Griffin McElroy?

  I think, I think a yo-yo trick would boost, in fucking 24K like he's serving right now.

• 20:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 20:02Griffin McElroy?

  My fucking high bitrate, my high bitrate king. I can't wait to see this yo-yo.

• 20:07Travis McElroy?

  24 karat massive.

• 20:08Griffin McElroy?

  See him, fuck it, 240 FPS. Oh, he couldn't find you.

• 20:12Travis McElroy?

  I don't even have one. I don't even have one anymore.

• 20:14Griffin McElroy?

  That's bullshit, dude. How do you?

• 20:15Travis McElroy?

  I'm not gonna, I probably have some upstairs. I'm not gonna go upstairs and waste a bunch of pockets. Will you post it later, like on TikTok or something? No, the point is like I don't, what I was struggling with is like, why did I hyperfixate on? You know what I mean? Like, that's what I was angry about.

• 20:28Travis McElroy?

  Because you can't control what you, if you could figure out how to decide what you hyperfixate on, we'd be unstoppable.

• 20:34Griffin McElroy?

  Travis would be the wealthiest man in the, in the world.

• 20:37Travis McElroy?

  I know, but if I'm gonna have the kind of brain that has, is gonna make me hyperfixate on stuff, it should, it should not be humbled in my older age to make it so that I don't seek out opportunities to yo-yo. You know what I mean? Like, I should, I should continue to want to display this, this.

• 20:56Travis McElroy?

  Ah, what you're describing is a hobby.

• 20:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but there's not so much guilt that I would hide all my yo-yos and never want to look at them again, right, Trav? Is that a hobby? That doesn't sound like a hobby to me.

• 21:09Travis McElroy?

  No, I'm saying that if, what, what you had was a hyperfixation, which burns fast, burns bright.

• 21:16Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 21:16Travis McElroy?

  You're talking about a lifelong interest in a thing that you demonstrate and practice regularly.

• 21:22Travis McElroy?

  I'm looking for ashes. I'm looking for ashes where there is nothing, right, Travis? It just like, it was like a comet. I'm like.

• 21:27Travis McElroy?

  Yes, burn fast, burn bright, burn out.

• 21:29Travis McElroy?

  Hurricane season. It's just, it's not happening.

• 21:32Travis McElroy?

  All of my loves, all of my hobbies, live fast, die young. You know what I mean? That's me. I have the James Dean of hobbies.

• 21:40Travis McElroy?

  Sure, I gotta say though, Travis. You really delivered on leather work. You talked a lot about leather work. Yeah, man. And when that one paid off, that one hit big and was very impressive. Yeah. You really played it close. I'm so sad that I'll never do it again. Yeah. It's so sad to know.

• 21:54Griffin McElroy?

  That's a 2025 thing, dude.

• 21:56Travis McElroy?

  I know. I wish. I still have so much leather to use. I've spent so much on tools.

• 22:01Griffin McElroy?

  He's got a big box of grommets that he's gonna throw in the dumpster.

• 22:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. The key, the key time to make friends with one of us is right at the end of one of those cuz God almighty, am I looking to unload stuff? Dude, juiced. Anybody who makes a passing interest like, hey, you know, I've always kinda wanted to uh, pick up the yo-yo. Here's five. Here's five yo-yos. Take seven yo-yos. I never wanna see a yo-yo again. I'm so embarrassed. One of them is like handcrafted from an artisan who specializes in making yo-yos and I spent $5,000 on it. It's yours, please.

• 22:32Griffin McElroy?

  I think, I don't know if Travis, that yo-yo you gave me cost $5,000. Are you serious?

• 22:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 22:40Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you, man.

• 22:41Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that was made by Harold Duncan Senior. That was a Harold, that was an HTS. Yeah, man.

• 22:48Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, it was made out of graphics cards, so that's why it was pretty uncomfortable.

• 22:52Travis McElroy?

  That explains every time I did a walk the dog, a bitcoin fell up.

• 22:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 22:57Travis McElroy?

  That's why it was worth so much money.

• 22:58Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know, I don't know if yo-yo is extra hard. I don't know if yo-yo is like more than other things beyond your ability, but I do think yo-yo belongs to a special class of skill or activity that is difficult to practice because after you do it uh, once or twice and you fail, you feel like the world's biggest asshole. Piano, I can sit down at and I can play my scales until they get good and I don't feel like an asshole the moment I mess up, but you drop a ball, the yo-yo don't come back up and you have to spend like 15 seconds winding it. I'm not gonna do that more than two or three times and so I'm simply never going to get better at it.

• 23:32Travis McElroy?

  I mean, I've been trying to learn how to juggle for, I mean, it's been 11 years. I've had juggling balls like handy.

• 23:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:39Travis McElroy?

  And I can do like, meh, five passes and then I'm done.

• 23:41Griffin McElroy?

  Five is crazy, dude.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  I will say that.

• 23:44Griffin McElroy?

  I get three and I'm like, I'm juggling, baby. I'm juggling.

• 23:46Travis McElroy?

  I get one and my brain gets so excited that my hands absolutely just.

• 23:50Griffin McElroy?

  Every, Travis, every single fucking time, dude. Here's, here's a thought. I'm juggling, mama, look at me!

• 23:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:56Griffin McElroy?

  Dad, fall, dad, dad, dad.

• 23:58Travis McElroy?

  Two passes. I'm juggling, I'm dead. But this is when having hyper fixation brain is, is a great skill. Because like the other day, my kids got like a paddle ball game. I picked it up once. I was immediately bad at it. And I said, oh, this brings me no joy. And I had no desire to continue learning it whatsoever.

• 24:18Griffin McElroy?

  I thought that was gonna go a different way.

• 24:19Travis McElroy?

  I would have played with my kids, I think, in that case.

• 24:21Travis McElroy?

  No, then I, then I just watched my kids do it and I'm like, have fun, guys. But if something doesn't immediately bring me joy.

• 24:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:27Travis McElroy?

  I don't have to care about it anymore.

• 24:29Griffin McElroy?

  That's what Marie Kondo says. She said, give them one shot.

• 24:32Travis McElroy?

  One shot.

• 24:32Griffin McElroy?

  She says, this, she says, everyone gets one shot and if not, you're gone forever.

• 24:37Travis McElroy?

  I will say also, the, the one gag with yoyos, if you can do the one thing where you throw it at the ground and it stays down there for a bit.

• 24:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:45Travis McElroy?

  You can do a whole fucking lot of stuff.

• 24:47Griffin McElroy?

  That's the basis of most tricks.

• 24:48Travis McElroy?

  All you gotta do is fuck around with the string and not do it so hard that the guy comes back up.

• 24:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:52Travis McElroy?

  And then you can like twist it, you do walk the dogs, the same idea. It's all the same junk. It's just spinning.

• 24:58Travis McElroy?

  Also, get like a, like a toothpick that you want in that cool leather jacket. And now you're just doing it on the street corner and I know you're waiting for something to go down.

• 25:06Griffin McElroy?

  Is there an opportunity here for us to make a kind of like perfect synergistic? Like a hyper fixation kind of, um, like all day carry, all day. What's that called?

• 25:21Travis McElroy?

  Everyday carry.

• 25:22Griffin McElroy?

  Everyday carry situation where it is a yoyo, but it's also like on one side of it is.

• 25:27Travis McElroy?

  Boy, you are really, you're a tough target to bring down, aren't you there, Jason Bourne? Can't remember the acronym for EDC. Griffin, highly muggable over here. If you needed a soft target.

• 25:36Griffin McElroy?

  Good fucking luck. What do I have on me?

• 25:38Travis McElroy?

  All day carry though.

• 25:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:39Travis McElroy?

  There are things that I'm like, I can't put this down once.

• 25:43Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, my glasses, I think is probably it. My guilt, my glasses. Yoyo on one side. Virtual pet on the other side. It's got, um, a lighter, maybe? It also does a lighter. And it's just like, all of these like cool little affectations, hobbies, fixations that you could do. Fidget. Well, no, cause I don't, you know, I guess it could be a spinner if you, if you want it to be, but I'm thinking beefy or something.

• 26:11Travis McElroy?

  I mean, yoyos were the original spinner.

• 26:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, I know. And that's why I'm saying we should get one, but I guess I'm just saying there should be a yoyo with a giga pet in it. So what's, what else are we doing here today, guys?

• 26:24Travis McElroy?

  Well, Griffin, I'm glad you asked. We're gonna take a quick trip to the money zone.

• 26:37Griffin McElroy?

  A yo-yo that has a giga pet in it that like you feed by doing yo-yo tricks is so fucking insanely valuable of an idea.

• 26:45Travis McElroy?

  No, it's great.

• 26:47Travis McElroy?

  It's great, Griffin.

• 26:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I know. I'm just saying, I feel bad that someone's gonna take-

• 26:51Travis McElroy?

  But it's not funny, you know, like, great ideas aren't always funny.

• 26:55Griffin McElroy?

  That's, that's true. That's true.

• 26:58Travis McElroy?

  That's why we save those for the money zone.

• 27:01Griffin McElroy?

  You're right.

• 27:01Travis McElroy?

  You know-

• 27:02Travis McElroy?

  It's not called the funny zone.

• 27:03Griffin McElroy?

  No, we can be, we can really let our hair down and be pretty serious here.

• 27:07Travis McElroy?

  It can get pretty tough to keep track of your money, dollars and cents. It's going in, it's going out. Where's it going?

• 27:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yep.

• 27:14Travis McElroy?

  Well, you need a friend. You need, hi, I'm Justin McRae, paid endorser for Rocket Money. You need a friend in your corner, somebody who's gonna be watching your transactions, someone who's gonna say, hey, did you forget about this subscription? I can cancel it for you, or at least try.

• 27:27Travis McElroy?

  And Justin is willing to be that for you. Justin's gonna do that for each one of our listeners.

• 27:32Travis McElroy?

  Justin's gonna fix your business. No, I'm, I am sadly announcing the closure of Justin's iFixit.

• 27:40Griffin McElroy?

  I fix it.

• 27:41Travis McElroy?

  Money, all-in-one financial accounting services.

• 27:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:44Travis McElroy?

  I'm sorry-

• 27:45Travis McElroy?

  And iPhone screen repair.

• 27:46Travis McElroy?

  And iPhone screen repair.

• 27:50Travis McElroy?

  Yes. Travis, my iPhone screen repair and money financial guy business is down the tubes because Rocket Money is putting me out of business.

• 27:59Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man.

• 28:00Travis McElroy?

  These guys are using computers.

• 28:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:02Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's way back then.

• 28:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, my yellow ledger, keep track of your finances in, is utterly humiliated by Rocket Money's ability to find subscriptions you forgot about and try to cancel them for you, to help you to balance your finances, to keep track of where your money's going, all that good stuff.

• 28:21Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, one time, Justin's yellow ledger fell off his desk and it fell open and it was completely empty. And I was like, what the fuck is he doing in there?

• 28:28Travis McElroy?

  It's terrifying, dude. Rocket Money has saved users over 2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. Well, this is weird, Griffin. I'm looking at Justin's yellow ledger right now and I have the moonlight reflected in the Osiris stone.

• 28:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:51Travis McElroy?

  And it's a bunch of names and the worth of their souls next to.

• 28:56Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, it was the Osiris stone that we were missing. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash my brother today. I'm reading the ledger now. That's rocketmoney.com slash my brother. Rocketmoney.com slash my brother.

• 29:10Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, your name's in here.

• 29:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, and my, don't tell everybody my soul value, because it's embarrassing.

• 29:17Travis McElroy?

  53 cents.

• 29:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:20Travis McElroy?

  Man, I wish I hadn't worked so hard in that last ad, because this next ad is for Smalls, and I'm gonna work a lot on this one, too.

• 29:26Griffin McElroy?

  The biggest Smalls head, like ever.

• 29:27Travis McElroy?

  Smalls, but the fact is, I want to talk about Smalls, because my cats love it so. I have, I have a much better relationship with my cat.

• 29:34Travis McElroy?

  You say Smalls is killing you?

• 29:38Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think they would want that, man.

• 29:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, because that's kind of a negative connotation, man.

• 29:41Travis McElroy?

  You're killing me, Smalls, you know?

• 29:43Travis McElroy?

  You guys remember that?

• 29:45Travis McElroy?

  No, yeah.

• 29:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, totally, but I don't think they, they probably don't like it. Like, if you call your company Smalls, you probably learn to not like when people say that.

• 29:51Travis McElroy?

  What about, you're saving me, Smalls?

• 29:53Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 29:54Travis McElroy?

  You're protecting me, Smalls. You've, you're putting your body between me and danger, Smalls.

• 30:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, so the cats love this stuff. They got Smooth Bird, Smooth Other Bird, Smooth Pig, no matter which animal you want smoothed up, Smalls is gonna do it for you. They're gonna put it in, uh, ship it to you. Smooth. It arrives frozen. You get the amount of food you need, right? You defrost what you need, so it's fresh when your cats want it and it's ready, and they really, really like it. They will bother me in the morning until they get to enjoy it.

• 30:25Travis McElroy?

  Smooth criminals.

• 30:27Griffin McElroy?

  They will do that.

• 30:30Griffin McElroy?

  They'll serve you criminals.

• 30:32Travis McElroy?

  You know.

• 30:33Travis McElroy?

  But all smoothed up.

• 30:34Travis McElroy?

  You know how hard it is to do two ads back to back.

• 30:37Griffin McElroy?

  I know, man. Travis and I are trying to help. Travis and I are trying to help and hop.

• 30:41Travis McElroy?

  No, but it's just not, it's not helping. It's not. Well, whatever you do, the call to action.

• 30:45Travis McElroy?

  Smooth move.

• 30:46Griffin McElroy?

  What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food that they deserve.

• 30:49Travis McElroy?

  The song Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana.

• 30:52Travis McElroy?

  You're not doing a good enough job because you're just reading it like a cat food ad. This is important. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. For a limited time, because you're a Mabim Bam listener, you get 60% off your first order plus free shipping. When you head to smallest.com slash my brother. One last time, that's 60% off your first order. Plus free shipping when you head to smallest.com slash my brother.

• 31:16Travis McElroy?

  Cause you're so smooth and they sell you smooth burn to feed to your cat.

• 31:26Travis McElroy?

  Okay, um.

• 31:27Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, I'm watching the subscriber.

• 31:29Travis McElroy?

  Delicious.

• 31:29Griffin McElroy?

  Damn, the subscriber count going down?

• 31:31Travis McElroy?

  That.

• 31:31Griffin McElroy?

  This isn't even live. No one's hearing this as we record it. How is the subscriber count plummeting?

• 31:36Travis McElroy?

  Damn it.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint, she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited. No matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.

• 32:23Speaker 05

  Hello?

• 32:23Speaker 06

  Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.

• 32:26Speaker 05

  No, I'm sorry. No sales calls. Goodbye.

• 32:28Speaker 06

  It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

• 32:33Speaker 05

  I don't know what a Josie Long is. And anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?

• 32:51Speaker 06

  Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast.

• 32:53Speaker 05

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.

• 32:59Speaker 06

  Simply go to MaximumFun.org.

• 33:01Speaker 05

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother, mother, not that hat.

• 33:07Travis McElroy?

  Now, Justin, I see there that you have a yo-yo.

• 33:12Travis McElroy?

  I didn't want to talk about it, but yes, I did find one during the break, Travis.

• 33:15Travis McElroy?

  You didn't want to talk about it, but you came in carrying it.

• 33:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, well, I guess you're right. Yeah, I found one. I had one upstairs.

• 33:23Griffin McElroy?

  Is that like a tin Christmas yo-yo? What kind of yo-yo is that?

• 33:26Travis McElroy?

  This is a magic yo-yo.

• 33:27Griffin McElroy?

  Magic yo-yo? Hold on, dude.

• 33:30Travis McElroy?

  What? In what way?

• 33:32Griffin McElroy?

  I feel like you're trying to trick me or something, dude.

• 33:35Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, I got it.

• 33:35Griffin McElroy?

  Are you about to like try to sell it to us for a lot of money?

• 33:38Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I would never. No, I would never.

• 33:40Griffin McElroy?

  He couldn't part with his magic yo-yo.

• 33:42Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, no, a magic yo-yo.

• 33:43Griffin McElroy?

  Well, at least let me.

• 33:44Travis McElroy?

  Other yo-yos, maybe, but.

• 33:45Travis McElroy?

  At least let me make an offer.

• 33:48Travis McElroy?

  I can't.

• 33:49Travis McElroy?

  Five thousand dollars.

• 33:50Travis McElroy?

  You're embarrassed.

• 33:50Griffin McElroy?

  Looks like you have the loop maybe sized for one of your kids.

• 33:54Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, it's a sliding loop. Are you?

• 33:57Travis McElroy?

  Why are you talking about the visual? Justin, he doesn't understand.

• 33:59Griffin McElroy?

  I don't really know much about.

• 34:00Travis McElroy?

  So look, so this is a loop, right? See, I made a loop for my finger.

• 34:04Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, so it can slide. You've made a snare. Okay.

• 34:07Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna stand up. I haven't tried.

• 34:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 34:10Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna see what I can.

• 34:10Griffin McElroy?

  And we'll describe it. Sorry, this has been a really visual episode, but that's, I mean, Justin's new desk is a celebration.

• 34:17Travis McElroy?

  Justin's a video-forward person.

• 34:18Griffin McElroy?

  Here we go. Okay, can't see it higher. Wow, it's, wow, he's sleeping. It's hanging, dangling. He's got, he did the thing and it went right into his fucking hand. Yeah, I haven't done this in years. Make it roll down, though. Make it grind down your headphones wire. That shit would be so dope. Oh, he's got it in the cradle. He's got the baby in the cradle. He gets it back up. He's throwing. He yoink it back down. He throw it back up. Now go back down. Oh, shit. He's the world's strongest man.

• 34:48Travis McElroy?

  It's his muscle and it's back to his hand.

• 34:50Griffin McElroy?

  And, oh, good recovery. He beefed it, but then he pulled it back up. Now.

• 34:54Travis McElroy?

  Even that's part of the trick.

• 34:56Travis McElroy?

  Justin, you're ready to start telling kids not to do drugs.

• 34:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 35:00Travis McElroy?

  Okay, it's the cradle again.

• 35:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, well, you just saw the cradle.

• 35:03Travis McElroy?

  Again, like it's that easy.

• 35:05Travis McElroy?

  I mean, it's just, you already showed us that one.

• 35:07Travis McElroy?

  That's the only ones I know.

• 35:08Griffin McElroy?

  You got, you can.

• 35:08Travis McElroy?

  Walk the dog.

• 35:09Griffin McElroy?

  DNA it. Do DNA.

• 35:12Travis McElroy?

  The dog got away.

• 35:13Griffin McElroy?

  The dog ran away, dude.

• 35:14Travis McElroy?

  That's runaway dog. That's runaway dog is a cool.

• 35:16Griffin McElroy?

  Juice, that looks awesome, man. You still got it.

• 35:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, imagine my relief, dude. I used to be able to do a lot more tricks, but honestly, in the studio, wait, his?

• 35:24Griffin McElroy?

  Gotta be careful. Yeah.

• 35:25Travis McElroy?

  Can't take the risk, you know?

• 35:26Travis McElroy?

  Expensive equipment in there.

• 35:28Travis McElroy?

  Sure, man. Yeah.

• 35:31Travis McElroy?

  All right. So

• 35:33Griffin McElroy?

  Did you get out of breath?

• 35:33Travis McElroy?

  Did you get heartburn from that?

• 35:36Griffin McElroy?

  Was it heartburn or out of breath from YoYo? Which one was it? What are you doing?

• 35:40Travis McElroy?

  Nostalgia?

• 35:41Travis McElroy?

  Nostalgia burns sometimes.

• 35:42Griffin McElroy?

  Makes your tummy hurt?

• 35:44Travis McElroy?

  My friend recently completed her first marathon. After cheering her on as spectators, my four-year-old daughter was so excited about it. She told me she was going to draw a congratulations picture for my runner friend. She drew a stack of pictures while I was busy. I grabbed the most polished of the lot and gave it to my friend the next day. It was a picture of Saturn. And it had some letters next to it and a pretty shockingly good stab at the word Saturn next to it. Brothers, my husband drew the picture and most of the letters. I just gave my friend a picture of Saturn. My 34-year-old husband drew in crayon. Help. That's from doodled out in Timor.

• 36:18Griffin McElroy?

  That's okay.

• 36:20Griffin McElroy?

  That's okay. That's a sweet gift regardless of who it came from. It's still like sweet that someone did a drawing for someone else. I assume your friend is either named Saturn or maybe they have a like they have, they have, they like Saturn. Love the, they're a fan of the planet. The planet is like one of their faves.

• 36:38Travis McElroy?

  I think the problem here is that when you are judging a child's drawing, especially a four-year-old versus a 34-year-old, there's different subjective criteria that one would use to be like, this is amazing versus like, oh, you did your best, right? And if you reveal after they've been very impressed by this pretty good drawing of Saturn, and then you're like, actually, that was my husband drew that. It might take something away.

• 37:04Travis McElroy?

  I usually, I will say that don't judge too harshly because I am usually trying to like, keep my light under a bushel a little bit when I'm drawing with the kids. You know, I don't want them to get discouraged when they see me drawing Saturn and they're like, God, I'll never.

• 37:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 37:17Travis McElroy?

  Never.

• 37:18Travis McElroy?

  Do you ever find yourself drawing with the kids and you draw something and about three quarters of the way through, you suddenly are struck by how proud you are of the thing you're drawing? And you're like, man, I hope I get a really good, I drew a kick-ass like healer family.

• 37:33Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, wow.

• 37:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And I was like, everybody stop what you're doing. Hey, look at this. Look how good this is.

• 37:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I would love to be able to draw and be able to draw something other than just like a dog's face.

• 37:46Travis McElroy?

  Like a good drawer.

• 37:47Griffin McElroy?

  Like a good drawer and not even a good drawer, like can do a bait. Like if you asked me to draw right now an apple, the result would be humiliating. And that's like one of God's most basic fruits.

• 37:58Travis McElroy?

  Draw it upside down.

• 38:01Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 38:02Travis McElroy?

  So it's a technique used because we in our heads have developed images of how things are supposed to look.

• 38:09Griffin McElroy?

  And so I'm sorry, as sorry. Yeah, you understand that as Travis is saying this, you need to get out of pen and paper and attempt. I have E Ink, so all.

• 38:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, so we get these things. It's like, you know, when you draw a house, right? Everybody starts to default to like triangle roof, rectangle windows, right? Instead of drawing what an actual house looks like because we have shorthand images in our head. And we are often trapped in those images and it's difficult to make a real thing. So by drawing it upside down, you remove that subconscious bias of what things look like. And you start to actually think about the lines of the thing you're drawing, what the thing looks like.

• 38:49Griffin McElroy?

  God.

• 38:52Travis McElroy?

  Griffin is about to show us an apple that is going to absolutely knock us off our ass.

• 38:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we're gonna shit.

• 38:59Griffin McElroy?

  Holy shit.

• 39:01Travis McElroy?

  He's doing it.

• 39:04Travis McElroy?

  He's doing it. Look. Oh, my God.

• 39:07Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 39:08Travis McElroy?

  He's doing it. How do you like these apples?

• 39:10Griffin McElroy?

  Now, at this point, it's gotten to a joke because I feel like maybe it's not gonna be a great picture of an apple.

• 39:14Travis McElroy?

  Justin?

• 39:15Travis McElroy?

  I work hard on it.

• 39:17Travis McElroy?

  He's doing a good job.

• 39:18Travis McElroy?

  You work hard on jokes sometimes.

• 39:19Griffin McElroy?

  But the problem is that the screen, I think, changes based on how it's like tilted. So the apple's gonna look upside down no matter what.

• 39:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:30Travis McElroy?

  That's a pretty good apple.

• 39:32Travis McElroy?

  I mean, it's really not bad, Griff. It looks better. It looks better.

• 39:35Griffin McElroy?

  It's auto correcting. It's fucking stuck.

• 39:37Travis McElroy?

  Anus at the bottom. We can look at it upside down. We know. Now it's so close to the anus. Now get back from the anus, please.

• 39:45Griffin McElroy?

  That's the bottom of the apple. The bottom of the apple has.

• 39:49Travis McElroy?

  The bottom of the.

• 39:50Travis McElroy?

  You're not supposed to do that.

• 39:51Griffin McElroy?

  The bottom of the.

• 39:51Travis McElroy?

  Stop turning it.

• 39:53Griffin McElroy?

  The bottom of the apple is where the, I don't know what the fuck's going on down there, but he's got a little, like a little hole. Um, that's. Trav, that's really strong. That's really powerful. Thank you for that tip.

• 40:03Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:04Griffin McElroy?

  We're all, we're all just like, I love this being a space of self-improvement. And where we can yo-yo and we can draw and we can have fun and like. Create.

• 40:12Travis McElroy?

  I mean, we've forgotten how to create, I think.

• 40:14Griffin McElroy?

  I feel like maybe that's, maybe that's true.

• 40:17Travis McElroy?

  Now, do you just mean the three of us?

• 40:19Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 40:19Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 40:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, not like America. He's not like.

• 40:22Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no. Look on TikTok, man. People are making.

• 40:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 40:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's been us.

• 40:28Griffin McElroy?

  How about another question?

• 40:29Travis McElroy?

  I love that. I needed cilantro for a recipe, so I walked to the grocery store to get some, but they were out. On my way back home, I passed the herb garden of a local elementary school. I make this walk all the time and in retrospect, I've always noticed that these herbs appear poorly tended.

• 40:46Griffin McElroy?

  You just realized.

• 40:47Travis McElroy?

  Nah, I just. And are often going to seed or otherwise seem uncared for. So I reached through the fence and yanked out a clump. Is it okay to steal from children if they don't seem to respect God's gifts? That's from the Brooklyn Bambino Burger. Did anybody else think that when they were like, I noticed that these plants weren't very well tended? I, there was some small part of me that thought like, so I took them under my wing and I started growing them and helping them to find their.

• 41:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:11Travis McElroy?

  No, you just grabbed a big handful, huh?

• 41:13Griffin McElroy?

  Cause you got, you got big pesto plans. Well, sorry, kids. Sorry, kids, I've got noodles and nothing else going for them. So I need these more than you do.

• 41:24Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, kids. I, I mean, I think I'm, I'm maybe unorthodox about this. But here's my opinion. I think if it's growing in the land.

• 41:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:35Travis McElroy?

  We, nobody owns the sun. Nobody owns the dirt. If it's growing in the land, it's all of ours.

• 41:42Griffin McElroy?

  No, well, no, not in.

• 41:44Travis McElroy?

  Maybe that's a little bit far to take it.

• 41:46Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, it's absolutely deranged what you said, cause that means you can just go to farm and like, get it, get it.

• 41:53Travis McElroy?

  They're not gonna notice one corn gone. You are talking about ethics. What I'm talking, you're talking about the law. I'm talking about ethics. There's no, there's no farm guards.

• 42:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:03Travis McElroy?

  In the scenario I'm describing, you have an armed battalion.

• 42:08Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 42:09Travis McElroy?

  Defending the, the cilantro.

• 42:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:11Travis McElroy?

  If there's nobody defending mine.

• 42:12Griffin McElroy?

  If the need is there, obviously, yeah, I mean, it should be, it should be, um, yeah. No kids are gonna notice this unless it's someone's science experiment. That's a real danger you didn't even think about.

• 42:23Travis McElroy?

  I think if you went to the cilantro farms and you were stopped by a garden and he said, halt citizen, dis- exploit your business. And you're like, I just need some cilantro. I want some.

• 42:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:34Travis McElroy?

  Like a reasonable amount? Like a handful. I feel like if you're, they would give you some. Like that's not gonna move the needle for them.

• 42:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. You've taken such an extreme position so quickly that I feel like your brain began showing you illusions, beautiful illusions of things that don't exist, like cilantro guards.

• 42:52Travis McElroy?

  Don't let me be a cautionary tale, people. Don't end up like me. You gotta have your head on a

• 42:56Griffin McElroy?

  It was really instant too, because you were like, I think, one, I think it's okay to grab this cilantro. Two, there are armed guards at every cilantro farm.

• 43:04Travis McElroy?

  It's become almost like a post-apocalyptic thing where cilantro has become money.

• 43:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:10Travis McElroy?

  And like, there's a Fort Knox of cilantro with guards and like a year in town, but instead of going to the bathroom, it's cilantro.

• 43:19Griffin McElroy?

  I wanna make something very clear to everybody who does not have elementary school aged children. When you see produce in the garden, that is like a class project. It ain't usually the kids who are getting those buds and those fruits to come up out of the ground out of nothing. That's mostly an adult, that is mostly an adult job. There's nuance to that process that a lot of kids aren't gonna be able to to handle. So do know that you're not stealing from children. You are stealing from some adult and maybe this, this moment in the garden is the highlight of their day.

• 43:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I bet it's also, it's interesting. You know, question asker, you talk about how, how, let me see if you see, they seem, uh, in retrospect, I always noticed that these herbs appear poorly tended and are often going to seed or otherwise seem uncared for. You know what would probably discourage me as a plant tender? When people keep reaching through the fence and helping themselves to goddamn handfuls of my cilantro.

• 44:18Griffin McElroy?

  The fences, the fences, the fence is a bit of a deal breaker, huh?

• 44:23Travis McElroy?

  The fence is rough, man. I, I feel like you're not contributing. Sorry. I feel like you're not contributing to the overall health of the cilantro patch.

• 44:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:32Travis McElroy?

  And maybe you are making it look not even worse than it already does.

• 44:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:35Travis McElroy?

  Take a cilantro, leave a cilantro, is what Justin's saying. Yeah, or at least some seeds.

• 44:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 44:42Travis McElroy?

  Why'd they put the cilantro so close to the fence?

• 44:45Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking honeypot. John Cimone's is watching, waiting.

• 44:49Travis McElroy?

  They're not learning about gardening. They're learning about sting operations.

• 44:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 44:54Travis McElroy?

  It's a plant. I recently, I don't know if you guys knew this, I recently had, found myself having a cry sesh in the car and stopped in the Wendy's drive thru for a pick me up.

• 45:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:04Travis McElroy?

  It was obvious that I had been crying, but the lady at the drive thru window didn't treat me any differently than normal. Guys, if people at the windows, sorry, if people at the Wendy's windows are gonna start treating people different because they've been crying, that's gonna be an exhausting day for them. They can't handle that emotional up and down.

• 45:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:19Travis McElroy?

  Okay, they're gonna see a lot of people crying today. They can't, they can't open up a vein for everybody that, that rolls through. It's obvious I've been crying. The lady at the drive thru window didn't treat me any differently than normal. It was nice, but I kinda wish she had felt a little bad for me and given me some nuggets for my troubles. Is there any way I can make myself look more pitiable in the drive thru? And which fast food chain drive thru seems most charitable?

• 45:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:41Travis McElroy?

  That's from McCharity Case in Columbus. Thank you.

• 45:44Griffin McElroy?

  That's awesome.

• 45:45Travis McElroy?

  That's a good one.

• 45:46Griffin McElroy?

  That's a good one because it is extremely relatable.

• 45:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:52Griffin McElroy?

  To, I, it makes me so deeply uncomfortable when someone leverages some kind of personal difficulty or hardship into some sort of goodwill currency that benefits them vis a vis free nuggets for crying in the car. My fear is that if you codify that too much, then people are going to start making themselves cry so they can get free nuggets at Wendy's.

• 46:18Travis McElroy?

  You can't institutionalize kindness like this. It has to be spontaneous.

• 46:22Griffin McElroy?

  Has to be, has to be.

• 46:23Travis McElroy?

  The problem is, it's a, it's tough to communicate with the audio of the drive thru that you've had a hard time and that you're going to need some nuggets for it, right?

• 46:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:33Travis McElroy?

  Cause I don't think you can eat, maybe with your order, maybe it's like, I'll take a hamburger and, oh, no wait, that was Steven's favorite. I like chicken. You know what I mean? Like, put a little narrative in there.

• 46:45Griffin McElroy?

  That's, uh, that's dense.

• 46:49Travis McElroy?

  It's a lot to chew on.

• 46:50Griffin McElroy?

  It's a bit dense to drop, because that's usually like the, one of the first things you say over the loudspeaker. It is like, usually it's, hi, welcome to Wendy's, and you would say like, uh, give me just a minute, please? And then you would say, let me get it. And then, then you say, give me a hamburger. No, that was Steven's favorite. I like chicken.

• 47:07Travis McElroy?

  The idea that I would, dude, are you serious? The idea that I at the drive thru window would say, give me just a minute, please? Are you fucking crazy?

• 47:15Griffin McElroy?

  You don't do.

• 47:15Travis McElroy?

  It's my time.

• 47:17Griffin McElroy?

  You never have other people in the car?

• 47:20Travis McElroy?

  I have to be, do you remember how that used to get?

• 47:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Travis McElroy?

  In the car?

• 47:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:24Travis McElroy?

  Apparently that's just genetic and it sucks, but I've inherited it. I can't drive through ordering. I've become the world's worst man.

• 47:31Griffin McElroy?

  You just have to blast, you have to blast through it in one go. No time for deliberation.

• 47:35Travis McElroy?

  I need everybody. I'm as I am pulling up usually about two blocks away.

• 47:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:40Travis McElroy?

  That's when the conversation begins. I want, and the orders are in.

• 47:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:45Travis McElroy?

  Before I see a sign.

• 47:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:46Travis McElroy?

  We're locked. Okay. Call me Mr. Berzai. It's for Rosen.

• 47:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:51Travis McElroy?

  Okay. No, thank you, kid.

• 47:52Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to name names, but there is another adult in my family unit. Who is often in the car with me and my kids when we go through the drive through. I don't want to name names.

• 48:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:04Travis McElroy?

  But she, I think has what Dana Carvey had in Clean Slate about the Wendy's drive through menu.

• 48:12Griffin McElroy?

  Good.

• 48:12Travis McElroy?

  Where she needs, she needs to see it fresh every time.

• 48:17Griffin McElroy?

  What if they have new shit?

• 48:18Travis McElroy?

  No, no Travis, that's, you sound so stupid dude. The Wendy's menu is always changing. If she doesn't take the time to peruse, how's she gonna know about the mozzarella pretzel burger?

• 48:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:29Travis McElroy?

  Excellent point, Justin.

• 48:30Griffin McElroy?

  Gotta know the latest stuff.

• 48:32Travis McElroy?

  What if Wednesday has a new milkshake?

• 48:34Travis McElroy?

  That's my time to chat with the drive through person while she decides and tell them about all the hard stuff I'm going through.

• 48:41Travis McElroy?

  She should be looking this up on her phone before, before you even go. She should be on her phone looking this.

• 48:46Travis McElroy?

  I'll let this hypothetical person know that that's your advice, Justin.

• 48:49Griffin McElroy?

  What's the softest fast food brand? Who's, which fast food brand is gonna, is gonna give you the most for your tears?

• 48:56Travis McElroy?

  I was, my first gut said White Castle.

• 49:00Griffin McElroy?

  No, they're too, they're too like Bing Bang Boom. They have like two things on the menu. They want to get you in and out as quick as possible. They're not going to give you nothing.

• 49:07Travis McElroy?

  And Arby's?

• 49:09Griffin McElroy?

  Arby's.

• 49:10Travis McElroy?

  Arby's would try to give you more and you'd be like, um, I actually, this is as much as I need. But they have a history of slipping an extra curly in a regular fry or some regular fries in a box of curly.

• 49:23Travis McElroy?

  Occasional bagel, that's true.

• 49:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, they, they, they're giving out freebies left and right.

• 49:28Griffin McElroy?

  I think Jack in the Box. I think Jack in the Box, Jack in the Box, fun food and.

• 49:35Travis McElroy?

  And cheap food. They can give you a taco for 50 cents.

• 49:38Griffin McElroy?

  That's exactly it. They've got, they've got fun shit just lying around. They'll, they'll pitch something at you if they think you're having a tough one.

• 49:44Travis McElroy?

  I feel like Popeyes, especially red beans and rice. To me, I feel like if you ask really nicely, that's free.

• 49:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:52Travis McElroy?

  Like if you, if you're like, I really need.

• 49:54Griffin McElroy?

  I'm really do, super.

• 49:56Travis McElroy?

  I'll tell you where you're not getting anything for a hard time. Taco Bell. Because no one's going through Taco Bell on the best day of their life. Yeah, you're here. Yeah, we know. Yeah, man. We know. You made, and I know you didn't have a big graduation today. Weird. I'm saying that at best Taco Bell is a little reward or treat or cheer me up that you're getting for yourself. Yeah. Right? You're at Taco Bell. You are already, you have, you have already done the self-care for them, right?

• 50:25Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 50:26Travis McElroy?

  This, this is the end of the road on self-care. You already needed this.

• 50:30Griffin McElroy?

  Nowhere else to go.

• 50:31Travis McElroy?

  Taking care of it already.

• 50:32Griffin McElroy?

  I'm trying to sit in farther away from the mic just so I can be kinda like one of the boys, like one of the guys.

• 50:38Travis McElroy?

  How's it feeling?

• 50:39Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, I am so far from my computer that I can't read the words on it anymore.

• 50:44Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 50:45Griffin McElroy?

  But I do feel like more, Travis, you can't zoom in now. How?

• 50:50Travis McElroy?

  That's like, you gotta understand. How far can I go? Audio podcast.

• 50:54Griffin McElroy?

  I know, dude.

• 50:55Travis McElroy?

  How far can I go? The Halloween, be, listen, the Halloween I've been, this Halloween I've been. I can go into four, four times zoom? All right. This Halloween, I've been toying with the idea of being the Grinch. Unfortunately, being the Grinch for Halloween seems like a full performance, tiptoeing around being a nuisance and other Grinchly behavior. I'm already pre, I'm a pretty fun-loving guy, so being a grump doesn't come naturally to me, and I have no acting background. How can I better prepare myself for the coming days to be able to pull off a Grinch costume, or I'm doomed to just be a boring green bummer? That's sort of nervous Nellie in Norwalk. P.S. I already spent a hundred fifty dollars on the costume.

• 51:25Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 51:26Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 51:26Griffin McElroy?

  Glad that you included that. It does.

• 51:28Travis McElroy?

  Camel Knights, several years ago, we had a very realistic Grinch.

• 51:33Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 51:33Travis McElroy?

  Remember it came out and kidnapped Dwight?

• 51:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:35Travis McElroy?

  And this very realistic Grinch, I will say, did a lot of realistic actions. And a lot of realistic motions, once they became the Grinch. And I will say that no one liked it. That had to be near it.

• 51:51Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 51:51Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 51:51Griffin McElroy?

  Kids.

• 51:52Travis McElroy?

  We didn't like.

• 51:52Griffin McElroy?

  Kids, but also grownups. No.

• 51:55Travis McElroy?

  Grownups, nobody liked it. Very impressive. But when they would get into the full.

• 52:01Travis McElroy?

  I've been raised from childhood to be afraid of this guy.

• 52:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:04Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't feel good.

• 52:05Travis McElroy?

  I will say this, what you're forgetting is there are two parts to the Grinch's journey.

• 52:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:12Travis McElroy?

  Yes, yes, there's the, the curmudgeonly grumpy Grinch.

• 52:16Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 52:17Travis McElroy?

  And then there's the heart three sizes Grinch.

• 52:19Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, this is the Grinch after he gets saved.

• 52:21Travis McElroy?

  I'm, yes, I'm saying.

• 52:22Griffin McElroy?

  Born again.

• 52:23Travis McElroy?

  Reformed Grinch behavior.

• 52:25Travis McElroy?

  I wish the movie went a little bit longer.

• 52:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Travis McElroy?

  Cause I would love for the Grinch to, after 20 minutes, be like, well.

• 52:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:34Travis McElroy?

  This has been fun.

• 52:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:37Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 52:38Griffin McElroy?

  That movie, if it went on for.

• 52:39Travis McElroy?

  Bye.

• 52:40Travis McElroy?

  We're gonna start small, a little change every day.

• 52:43Travis McElroy?

  Been great. I've lived all alone.

• 52:45Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 52:46Travis McElroy?

  For 50 years. I need to go, or I'm gonna scream.

• 52:50Griffin McElroy?

  There's, if there's 20 more minutes on that movie, the movie ends with them having the roast beast, and they're all having their big meal and having a great time. 20 more minutes runtime gets us, Grinch finishes his meal, goes, oh, I'm stuffed. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get some rest, guys. I'm pretty worn out from all the Christmas celebrations. But he can't because of their Bing Bang Boomers and their Zip Zappers and their Troubadings, their Bloopers. And it's like.

• 53:13Travis McElroy?

  He's trying to sleep.

• 53:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Oh, oh, that's right. That's, this fucking sucks.

• 53:18Travis McElroy?

  I still hate it.

• 53:19Griffin McElroy?

  I fucking hate, I need rest. I'm so tired. That's why. That's right.

• 53:24Travis McElroy?

  I was up all night stealing your stuff and then bringing it back. I'm exhausted.

• 53:28Griffin McElroy?

  I'm fucking tired.

• 53:29Travis McElroy?

  You come downstairs at like 3:00 in the morning and the Grinch who you asked to stay with you as your guest is putting all of your presents into a bag. It's like you prom.

• 53:37Griffin McElroy?

  You promised me.

• 53:38Travis McElroy?

  You said you were done.

• 53:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:40Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the loud ones, though. You can keep the slippers and the robe and stuff.

• 53:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:45Travis McElroy?

  The fling lacs and the snooze bats and all that stuff. That's all good. Just throw away the alarm clocks.

• 53:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:51Travis McElroy?

  Right? And the whiz trumpets.

• 53:54Travis McElroy?

  The whiz trumpets. Put those in the whiz garbage.

• 53:57Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 53:58Travis McElroy?

  Hey, thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We, we hope you've enjoyed it. We hope you've enjoyed yourself while you're listening to it. We hope you shouted some of your own jokes as we encourage you to.

• 54:09Griffin McElroy?

  Do we? Do we? I mean, I guess in when it's not a live show, go ahead. But I don't want to train people into that particular.

• 54:17Travis McElroy?

  That's true.

• 54:18Griffin McElroy?

  That behavior. Um, hey, we have some new merch over at McRoyMerch.com that we would love for you to, uh, to go check out. I'm pretty sure you can still get that hunger beanie, which looks rad. Prep yourself for the cold winter months. Uh, speaking of the cold winter months, we're coming back to Huntington for Candle Nights, baby.

• 54:36Travis McElroy?

  That's right.

• 54:37Griffin McElroy?

  Home for the Honda days. December 6th at 7:00 PM Eastern Time, we're going to be performing at the Keith Albee in Huntington, West Virginia, doing our Candle Nights spectacular. We're also going to be recording it for video. And there's going to be a digital premiere of the recording of the show on December 19th at 9:00 PM Eastern Time. We're going to be in the chat for that. Um, and all the proceeds from, from Candle Nights, as always, will be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Bit.ly/candlenights2025 is where you can go get your ticket for the show or for the live streaming version.

• 55:14Travis McElroy?

  Important to note, your in-person ticket also includes the stream ticket.

• 55:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, absolutely. Um, and yeah, it's going to be a hoot. We're really excited. It's been a minute.

• 55:24Travis McElroy?

  Uh, also November 3rd, so I think that's next Monday. Yes. Um, at noon Eastern Time, Champions Grove for 2026 goes on sale. Um, come hang out with us at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio, for a weekend full of, uh, gaming and hanging out with people at Fun and Fence and get to meet some, uh, RPG, TTRPG creators and.

• 55:52Travis McElroy?

  Dress up and have fun at a castle in the woods. You can go to championsgrove.com to get all the information. One more time, tickets go on sale on November 3rd at noon Eastern time. Championsgrove.com. Okay, this is also extremely important. If you go to, I'm in a pumpkin carving competition. It continues until Halloween. If you go to givebutter.com slash HCMVIPs. That's Heinz and Child's Museum. It's a fundraiser for them. I carved a pumpkin. I'm currently, and I don't want to worry anybody. I'm currently being beaten by Tony Stroud, who's the chief legal officer at Marshall University. He says that he, in his bio, says he has no artistic ability. So if I get beaten by him, I don't need to tell you how hard that will hurt.

• 56:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 56:38Travis McElroy?

  So please support the museum, but most importantly, help me beat Tony Stroud, a stranger I've decided to make an enemy of.

• 56:46Griffin McElroy?

  Tony Stroud.

• 56:47Travis McElroy?

  Nope.

• 56:48Griffin McElroy?

  Nope. Tony Stroud carved this pumpkin in a cave. Hey, do you guys?

• 56:54Travis McElroy?

  Do you guys? Has, Tony Stroud falls asleep with nightmares about me in his mind.

• 57:00Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 57:00Travis McElroy?

  I.

• 57:01Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, you're deep in there, huh?

• 57:03Travis McElroy?

  I don't know Tony that well, so I, I don't know.

• 57:05Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know that you should say what you just said then, man.

• 57:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I maybe I do need to take that back. Tony Stroud, I take that back.

• 57:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 57:12Travis McElroy?

  I'm sorry, you're currently beating me, so you clearly have a lot of powerful friends and I don't want them to.

• 57:17Griffin McElroy?

  And I think it's entirely possible. Justin is having Tony Stroud based nightmares and he didn't want to like, he's embarrassed.

• 57:22Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying Tony Stroud has the juice in my town to have me killed if I get out of line. So I would love it if you would go to HCM, sorry, givebutter.com.

• 57:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Hey, your internal temp got a little high there.

• 57:36Travis McElroy?

  All right, good to know. Well, that's perfect timing. That's gonna do it for us for this week. Did you say, say thanks to Montane?

• 57:42Griffin McElroy?

  No, thanks to Montane for the use for a theme song. My Life Is Better With You. It's a great track. Justin's camera got so hot that it stopped working, which is, I'll say, a flaw in the new system, maybe.

• 57:52Travis McElroy?

  Well, as long as you don't podcast for so fucking long, dude.

• 57:57Travis McElroy?

  What you did for an hour and one minute, man?

• 57:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it's out of sight. Uh, here's a, here's a final fear for us to read. Uh, here it goes. "I want to be faster than my fear of the ghost woman in the movie Talk To Me, who sucks on a guy's toes in his sleep." Sounds pretty, that sounds like, uh, yeah, that's fear.

• 58:14Travis McElroy?

  My name's Justin McElroy.

• 58:15Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 58:17Travis McElroy?

  This has been My Brother, My Brother, Me, Kiss Your Dad, Squirt.

• 58:52Speaker 04

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.