MBMBaM 764: Sneak a Pi in that Mobo

You’ll get the sacred gems if you solve this riddle! One of the brothers always is funny, one of the brothers is always picking locks, and one of the brothers is a pirate cosplayer. Okay, they’re actually dragon-grilled mozzarella sticks, not gems. And we can’t actually guarantee you’ll get them, but you might! Maybe. If the dragon is willing to share. Suggested talking points: Subcutaneous Garage, More Toon Than Man, Free Giraffe Looks, Carrots on Pizza is an Affront to God, Trucknutz and Gronk Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:21Speaker 01

  It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has got him, it's rippen into a precious friendship.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  I could've never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me and Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy.

• 1:19Griffin McElroy?

  Start your engines, baby. It's me, Griffin McElroy. Built Ford Tough. Start your engines. Time to race.

• 1:25Travis McElroy?

  Speaking of car stuff.

• 1:27Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:27Travis McElroy?

  Beauty blog it. That's what's inside of a garage door opener.

• 1:31Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's been so cool lately. Travis, are you getting these Mr. Robot vibes from this dude?

• 1:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man. Justin's been biohacking.

• 1:38Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's been biohacking. He put a garage door opener under some subcutaneous folds.

• 1:44Travis McElroy?

  I had this chip, I had this installed, actually.

• 1:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:48Travis McElroy?

  This is an implant.

• 1:49Griffin McElroy?

  And that's fucking cool.

• 1:50Travis McElroy?

  To open and close your garage. Yeah. No, it closes my mouth. Oh, you didn't need that.

• 1:56Griffin McElroy?

  Tell me about some of your other sort of like remote control bio bio mods that you've got.

• 2:02Travis McElroy?

  Well, the I hear my my remote control bio mods. Well, I had the eye cones put in so they can pop out whenever I see a beautiful lady and it says. Nice. And I had the trumpet mouth.

• 2:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:15Travis McElroy?

  How much that cost you?

• 2:17Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 2:17Travis McElroy?

  How much did it cost?

• 2:18Griffin McElroy?

  He did it himself. That's what.

• 2:19Travis McElroy?

  I'll tell you the truth, Travis. $300 a dame. Every time a dame strolls by. Per dame. Cause it's a CO2 cartridge. Oh, you gotta reload it. It's like airbags, basically. Yes.

• 2:30Travis McElroy?

  Do you need to get your eyes reset back in every time?

• 2:35Travis McElroy?

  Well, do you remember dad's friend Lee that used to work at Pearl Vision at the Charleston Town Center? He did. He just puts them back in for me like a mob doctor. He'd just go to his house and he just scoots them back in for $38 and I have to help him reprogram.

• 2:50Griffin McElroy?

  He did my, he does my procedures where um it makes my mouth, my jaw fall all the way down to the floor and my tongue unrolls like a rug anytime I see a babe.

• 3:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:01Griffin McElroy?

  And he like focuses, I guess, only on like, sort of like babe spotting.

• 3:07Travis McElroy?

  He helps me. If someone offers me a bunch of money, my eyes roll around like a slot machine and then comes up dollar sign, dollar sign. He'll reset that back to where I can see again.

• 3:18Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 3:19Travis McElroy?

  But that's not, that wasn't a bio mod. That was a tattoo of a dollar sign I got on the back of my eyeballs. And then I trained really hard to be able to spin around when you see money.

• 3:27Travis McElroy?

  This ink fiend is more, this ink fiend has had so many jobs done. He's more tuned than man. And then it's like, it's like you've gotten so many things. You've got the the big flat hand like somebody just drove over with a steamroller.

• 3:42Griffin McElroy?

  Do you remember Travis, when we had to stage that intervention because of how big an ink fiend just had become and was becoming more tuned than man?

• 3:50Travis McElroy?

  And it was problematic because during the intervention, he walked over to the sandwich table and he stacked them all up into one big sandwich and then opened his jaw all the way and ate the sandwich in one bite. Why were we were reading his, the letters about how his like tuned man behavior was affecting us?

• 4:06Griffin McElroy?

  Stuck out and made the shape of a sandwich. I remember that. And I think that's probably, and he started crying then. I think that's when he realized he had taken things too far.

• 4:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:15Travis McElroy?

  There's a code.

• 4:15Travis McElroy?

  And he left the toothpick in.

• 4:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. If you look at a resistor, there's colored bands around it that tell you what kind of resistor it is. And if you understand the code, you can know what kind of resistor you're looking at.

• 4:26Travis McElroy?

  I'm resisting this right now, Justin.

• 4:29Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 4:29Travis McElroy?

  I'm resisting this right now.

• 4:30Griffin McElroy?

  You should open up to it because I think it's cool that Justin's learning about the secrets of how the world works.

• 4:35Travis McElroy?

  Well, where are we at on this? Cause you were just saying intervention and now you're like, I actually like this and it's cool. Where are we at?

• 4:40Griffin McElroy?

  I feel like sometimes Griffin just says whatever he thinks is funniest. That's true, but I left the cartoon analogy behind. I love having techno Justin. Like I love.

• 4:50Travis McElroy?

  I mean, yeah, we all love techno Justin.

• 4:51Griffin McElroy?

  Well, no, it doesn't sound like it. You just said you're resisting techno Justin. I'm fully embracing him and I'm saying hack it, mod it, buy it, fix it, chop it, screw it.

• 4:59Travis McElroy?

  Just like Griffin only says things when they're funny. I say things to make people like me and I thought Griffin was going to agree with me and then he didn't. So I'll tell my real truth.

• 5:06Griffin McElroy?

  That must've been really, really, really, really hard. That must've been really tough and I'm proud of you for getting through it.

• 5:12Travis McElroy?

  It was. Thank you so much.

• 5:14Travis McElroy?

  I only speak the truth. That's my thing as a brother and I'll tell you, I'm an hour seven of Lake Washington Technical College's Elec 102 course.

• 5:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:24Travis McElroy?

  Uh, presented by, by Professor Joe and it is, I am learning so much Travis and I will say also Sydney is learning so much.

• 5:31Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, wow.

• 5:31Travis McElroy?

  And she's loving that. Cause I have so many opportunities in our day to day life to relate to her things that I, like she'll say, will you hand me a battery? And I'll say, oh, you know what? Actually that double A is not a battery. It's actually a cell, which would be a battery would be a group and then she leaves.

• 5:48Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, she's gone. Yeah.

• 5:49Travis McElroy?

  Well, probably because.

• 5:51Griffin McElroy?

  Or wherever.

• 5:51Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. You know, I think maybe Dr. Sydney McRoy is afraid of having any practical knowledge.

• 5:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Travis McElroy?

  That's a problem. It's all flights of flibbertigibberts with her.

• 6:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 6:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, she's just not the grounded sort like me.

• 6:05Travis McElroy?

  I'm just glad to hear 764 episodes in, we've finally laid out the rules of the riddle where Griffin's the brother who always says something funny. I'm the brother who always says something to people, make people like them and Justin always speaks the truth. Now you get to ask us one question.

• 6:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:20Travis McElroy?

  To see if you can move on.

• 6:21Griffin McElroy?

  One of us is.

• 6:21Travis McElroy?

  Through the dungeon.

• 6:22Griffin McElroy?

  One of us has the gems.

• 6:23Travis McElroy?

  One of us is immaculate in his word and it's me. So.

• 6:28Travis McElroy?

  And I'll give you a gem if you want. Do you want a gem? Would that make you happy?

• 6:31Griffin McElroy?

  He says that, but can you even? I don't even know, man.

• 6:35Travis McElroy?

  They want you to not know how to fix your own electronics.

• 6:39Griffin McElroy?

  Who say?

• 6:40Travis McElroy?

  They, they want, they, they're, they want you to not know how to fix it.

• 6:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:44Travis McElroy?

  But if you get in there, in the guts, unplug it, you know?

• 6:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure. Wait, I'm writing this down, hold on.

• 6:51Travis McElroy?

  Unplug it, write that down, ass. Then find new brother who's more tolerant of your hijinks.

• 6:58Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, yeah.

• 6:59Travis McElroy?

  And then get in there and get in the guts and fix it yourself.

• 7:03Griffin McElroy?

  Have you had a?

• 7:04Travis McElroy?

  Fix it yourself.

• 7:04Griffin McElroy?

  Have you had a shaking humility moment yet? Because I, I got into modifying like game consoles, old game consoles, uh, mostly as a, a flibberdy gibbit during COVID. A COVID flibberdy gibbit. And then one time, uh, my lamp on my bedside table started to flicker and Rachel was like, ah, uh, that's been doing that a lot lately. I don't know what's going on. We might need to replace it. And I had, I was like, I'll just fix it. And then she was like, that probably won't happen. I was like, don't worry about it. And then I took the wire out of it and I was like, oh, I don't know. This isn't a Game Boy, fuck. Where's the motherboard? It's a lamp? Fuck, um, okay.

• 7:43Travis McElroy?

  That happened to me when, cause I took a lot of black.

• 7:46Travis McElroy?

  Fix it.

• 7:47Travis McElroy?

  I took a lot of blacksmithing classes during COVID and then I was out on the street, um, walking with my wife with a parasol when a horse threw a shoe.

• 7:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:56Travis McElroy?

  And then they were like, oh, we need a new one of these. And I'm like, oh, you got it.

• 8:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 8:01Travis McElroy?

  And then I didn't have any of the tools or knowledge or skills.

• 8:05Griffin McElroy?

  Callipers.

• 8:06Travis McElroy?

  They don't want you to re-shod your own horse. They don't want that.

• 8:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Is this the same, the same they as the technology people is the horse people or?

• 8:15Travis McElroy?

  I mean, eventually, yeah, that is, it was a technology at some point, you understand.

• 8:20Travis McElroy?

  Justin, when you say they.

• 8:21Travis McElroy?

  Pulling something blew someone's mind.

• 8:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Is the they, you're talking about like the developers of like Civ games and the technology tree that they make? That you have to like research each one and spend time doing?

• 8:32Travis McElroy?

  Travis here, you know, you know you, right?

• 8:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:35Travis McElroy?

  You know, your family and friends.

• 8:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:37Travis McElroy?

  Okay, okay. Now you know everybody else that you see walking around, right?

• 8:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Travis McElroy?

  That's us, okay, and then they.

• 8:46Griffin McElroy?

  Anyone you've never seen or met before is your enemy.

• 8:48Travis McElroy?

  That is evil and pulling the strings. That they capitalism.

• 8:53Griffin McElroy?

  Capitalism.

• 8:55Travis McElroy?

  Capitalism. Capitalism doesn't want you to fix your own stuff.

• 8:58Griffin McElroy?

  Doesn't want you to fix it.

• 8:59Travis McElroy?

  Throw it in the landfill. Look at this. Do you know, listen, I'm down to five pieces of this garage door opener that I have. I'm closer than ever.

• 9:07Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck yeah, man. One of these days, you're gonna take apart one of them.

• 9:11Travis McElroy?

  I probably didn't need that one, you know?

• 9:13Griffin McElroy?

  No, that's crap. You're gonna take apart a gadget one of these days. Inside, you're gonna find the secret you need to destroy the government.

• 9:19Travis McElroy?

  This is probably, they leave all these parts like buttons, like this case. I don't want any, I want this.

• 9:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:25Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? I just want chip.

• 9:27Travis McElroy?

  You want that fragile, vulnerable chip.

• 9:30Griffin McElroy?

  Give me that cyber. That garage door opener is way too big. It needs to just be the cyber and a single little input. That's all we need. I don't need a case for my PC. All the parts just sit on the floor.

• 9:42Travis McElroy?

  Look at all this wasted PCB right here. Carve all this off. I'm gonna get in there, drill it down.

• 9:48Griffin McElroy?

  Good second mobo right there.

• 9:49Travis McElroy?

  This is great, Justin.

• 9:51Travis McElroy?

  I could get a pie in there. Get a 24.

• 9:53Griffin McElroy?

  Sneak a pie in that mobo.

• 9:56Travis McElroy?

  You've really, you've seized the means of opening and closing your garage door, and I respect that immensely.

• 10:01Griffin McElroy?

  Don't try to hide a mobo from Justin. He will get it.

• 10:04Travis McElroy?

  He'll find that mobo.

• 10:06Griffin McElroy?

  He will shuck whatever.

• 10:07Travis McElroy?

  Get one free? No.

• 10:09Travis McElroy?

  Listen, if you, when the robots come for us, if you need a human who hasn't lost the knowledge of how to get a keyboard, a calendar from a small computer onto a large TV display, I will be right there, ready to hack that in. No problem.

• 10:23Travis McElroy?

  Or if your dad just needs help setting it up, ask Justin.

• 10:26Griffin McElroy?

  Are you gonna rebuild the remote, the garage door opener? Or what's the plan here?

• 10:30Travis McElroy?

  You saw it, right? I have absolutely not, no plan.

• 10:33Griffin McElroy?

  So you're like Jason Bourne, taking apart his M16 rifle or whatever, and he sets it on the bed. And then his handler's like, good, now rebuild it. And he's like, I don't, I, are you kidding me?

• 10:44Travis McElroy?

  I didn't keep track of how it came apart.

• 10:46Griffin McElroy?

  I dropped one of the fucking things on the floor. Like, that's gone. I really broke this good.

• 10:51Travis McElroy?

  Do you have one that's already together that I can look at? So I get kind of an idea of where what goes or?

• 10:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Travis McElroy?

  So maybe schematics?

• 10:58Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, how about we do some advice? That's a lot of tech you got jangling around in there.

• 11:03Travis McElroy?

  I moved it all out of reach or else I'm going to be fiddling with it.

• 11:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:07Travis McElroy?

  Maybe the solution will come to me at some point and I'll just.

• 11:10Griffin McElroy?

  I got into lockpicking during COVID. I bought a little lockpick, practice lock. And there were a lot of times where I was working and also picking locks just out of the camera's eyesight.

• 11:23Travis McElroy?

  I'm doing it right now.

• 11:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Travis McElroy?

  Cool.

• 11:25Griffin McElroy?

  You'll never know.

• 11:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:26Griffin McElroy?

  Am I?

• 11:28Travis McElroy?

  Hey Griffin, where'd you go with that?

• 11:31Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, the same place I went with hard candy making and retro game console modifying, which is that I had a second child and stopped fucking all of it. All of it's gone. All of it's done.

• 11:43Travis McElroy?

  Uh, yeah, this is an advice show, so we're going to take your questions and turn them Malcolm like into wisdom. This is the first one. The train I take to work every morning passes the local zoo, specifically the giraffe enclosure. All spring, my absolute favorite part of my long commute has been getting a glimpse at these long, amazing long neck fellas. However, as the foliage has grown, I believe they added new trees. My view of the giraffes is fully obscured and I've been robbed of my daily moment of joy. How do I get the zoo to trim its trees or perhaps to cut out a little window for train passengers to see the animals through, but for a second, that's from must see mammals on the mass.

• 12:23Griffin McElroy?

  Your, your complaint is that they're not giving away their product for free and just bleeding money?

• 12:31Travis McElroy?

  You're sampling it every day, having free giraffe looks? That's all they have.

• 12:36Griffin McElroy?

  Literally the only product they have on offer.

• 12:40Travis McElroy?

  It's giraffe.

• 12:40Griffin McElroy?

  They've got stuffies, corn dogs, and they have, look at a giraffe.

• 12:45Travis McElroy?

  They have annoyingly large lollipops that your kids will half finish and leave stuck somewhere.

• 12:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:50Travis McElroy?

  Giraffe is also like one of the five or six animals at the zoo that's like, you came to see this one, right?

• 12:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Here's a whole, we built a whole house full of bugs and snakes or whatever. And you're like, cool. I'll tell you what the problem is.

• 13:06Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 13:06Travis McElroy?

  Giraffe is supposed to be eating the leaves on the trees.

• 13:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 13:10Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 13:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Travis McElroy?

  Why aren't they doing? Maybe you need to. Cause I don't want you to look at them. This is going to be hard, but you're going to have to buy a ticket to the zoo.

• 13:18Griffin McElroy?

  And you're, I know, I know. Listen, I know. But then you're gonna have to go maybe coach these giraffes. On like, maybe, oh, look, oh, look at those leaves over there. Look how good they look. Cause if they were seeing the giraffes, the giraffes can reach it. Giraffes eat the leaves on the top of the trees. That's why they stretch their necks out so hard and so long.

• 13:38Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 13:38Griffin McElroy?

  And so why aren't they eating that? Maybe go and trim leaves lower down.

• 13:43Travis McElroy?

  I, if I, okay, let's flip a perspective. You're a giraffe. You go to the zoo meeting and you say, hey, I have to see train every day.

• 13:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:54Travis McElroy?

  And I'm trying to pretend that I live in the jungle, okay? Or the savanna or what have you. I would like.

• 14:00Griffin McElroy?

  Where they live.

• 14:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:02Griffin McElroy?

  Wherever they're at.

• 14:03Travis McElroy?

  You know, my general.

• 14:05Griffin McElroy?

  It's one of the trees ones, probably. And I don't think it's just one place. So maybe, I don't know, we can walk. So who knows?

• 14:14Travis McElroy?

  Raised in a zoo. I don't, I never got a chance to know these things.

• 14:18Griffin McElroy?

  I'm voice my David Schwimmer. Call him down.

• 14:21Travis McElroy?

  My accent's a little off from the other giraffe. All right. Sorry. I was raised in captivity.

• 14:27Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I think you do, there is a, you're gonna need to get started on a elaborate heist. Uh, but it's like, instead of stealing something, it's, you're gonna be doing a little bit of pruning. Um, you're gonna need to roll up to this place with a little, uh, some, some big clippers or chainsaw, depending on the thickness of these trees. Um, actually, if someone spots you climbing into the giraffe exhibit with a chainsaw, they're gonna assume.

• 14:58Travis McElroy?

  Might be made.

• 14:59Griffin McElroy?

  Assume, God didn't want them to be this tall. No, man.

• 15:03Travis McElroy?

  That horse was built wrong. Come on down here, big fella. You think you're so tough?

• 15:10Griffin McElroy?

  The good news with tree heist, Operation Tree Heist, is if you do get caught, you have an amazing exit strategy. Of you slide down the giraffe's neck.

• 15:20Travis McElroy?

  Of course.

• 15:20Griffin McElroy?

  Like a, like a Fred Flintstone. That is, we've all thought it. What a wonderful, wonderful angle they provide. I could really zoom down one of those hairy necks.

• 15:31Travis McElroy?

  It must be hard for a giraffe to, I assume, want to be ridden like a horse. They're jealous, but no one can reach it.

• 15:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:37Travis McElroy?

  It's not like ergonomically designed to mount. You know what I mean? And the giraffe would love it if somebody just hopped on and rode it.

• 15:44Griffin McElroy?

  I, here's my theory of evolution. Giraffes evolved from horses and they were just the horses that whenever humans would be like, time to ride, they'd be like, oh, I really not feeling it. Let me just scoot up.

• 15:59Travis McElroy?

  Tiptoes, tiptoes.

• 16:00Griffin McElroy?

  Tiptoes, they stretch up. Now you can't get up there.

• 16:04Travis McElroy?

  And it just makes sense.

• 16:05Travis McElroy?

  It just makes sense. I'm a delivery driver. Most of my stops are businesses. It's not uncommon for there to be a pizza party happening at said business when I arrive. Sometimes they offer me a slice, which is always appreciated. However, sometimes they don't, which I find quite rude if I'm being honest. Brothers, how do I get in on that hot zot at these parties if I'm not offered? Do I ask them? What if they say no? Do I just grab a slice when no one's looking? Please help me. I'm so hungry for pizza. That's from Pizza Party Pirate in Rochester.

• 16:34Travis McElroy?

  Hmm. Hmm. Is this pizza for everybody or just the ones who close the account or?

• 16:41Griffin McElroy?

  Or employees or people you know. Strangers.

• 16:45Travis McElroy?

  Just Dave over there where we at on the pizza availability.

• 16:50Travis McElroy?

  Pizza is one of those loaves and fishes type things where you wouldn't, it wouldn't ever occur to you, I think, to eat some beef medallions. You know what I mean? Like if there was some leftover beef medallions and asparagus tips, you wouldn't think, I'm gonna fix me a plate. But there is something about pizza where it does feel communal almost as soon as it's prepared.

• 17:11Griffin McElroy?

  Sure.

• 17:12Travis McElroy?

  And Frank, frankly, no one ever calculates perfectly the amount of pizza that's needed per person anyways. So either it was already gonna run out before everybody got their fill, or there was gonna be too much left, right? If there's too much left, you should give the delivery driver some. And if it was gonna run out too early anyways.

• 17:29Griffin McElroy?

  Right. It's statistically, statistically insignificant, a single slice of pizza. Slide it, slide it on down. I would be bummed if my pizza arrived and there was a piece already eaten. If the request was made, hey, let me get down on this. Absolutely. For sure. It's one slice. Who, who cares, man?

• 17:47Travis McElroy?

  No problem.

• 17:48Griffin McElroy?

  No problem. It's a single slice.

• 17:50Travis McElroy?

  Unless the delivery driver is like the second person to the pizza party, right? Like, everybody's there. If anybody's so late that they didn't get a piece of pizza, sometimes we have to be reminded that there are consequences to our decision.

• 18:02Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 18:02Travis McElroy?

  And if I come in and I'm like 20 minutes late to the pizza party and I'm like, uh, you guys didn't save me a slice? And I look over and the delivery driver is eating one? And I'm like, what, what the hell? And they're like, Travis, you were 20 minutes late to the pizza party.

• 18:16Travis McElroy?

  That's tough, though, because you don't want to be the person who's like, go on, man, get in there. And then everybody else comes down. It's like, I'm so sorry. I thought you got in there already.

• 18:24Griffin McElroy?

  Well, no, I'm not sorry. Don't be late next time. If you are a delivery driver of food.

• 18:29Travis McElroy?

  They had a project. They were trying to get done and the boss was telling them if they didn't get it done, they were out of here.

• 18:34Griffin McElroy?

  No excuses. No excuses.

• 18:36Travis McElroy?

  They need this job.

• 18:37Griffin McElroy?

  If you are, if you're a delivery driver and you roll up to a function where you're going to be catering and the vibe is off, you are, you are endowed certain rights in that scenario. And some of it is the pizza that you, you are delivering.

• 18:53Travis McElroy?

  Are we supposing that we are agreed in this, that the person asking the question is not delivering the pizza?

• 18:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, correct.

• 18:59Travis McElroy?

  Right?

• 18:59Griffin McElroy?

  I assumed that's exactly what we're talking about.

• 19:02Travis McElroy?

  I thought you two were talking at cross purposes. I wanted to clarify this.

• 19:06Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, that there, so let me get this straight, Travis. In your imagination, this delivery driver is stopping by to drop off unrelated lunch items to a place that has already had pizza delivered to their door.

• 19:19Travis McElroy?

  Well, yes, Driven, here's why I think that, because it's what it goddamn says in the question.

• 19:23Travis McElroy?

  Let's see what the tax report's. Go on, Travis.

• 19:25Travis McElroy?

  I'm a delivery driver. Most of my stops are businesses. It's not uncommon for there to be a pizza party happening at said business when I arrive.

• 19:34Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so, yeah, let's speak now.

• 19:36Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, but that's, we're arguing, so we're arguing fucking semantics now.

• 19:41Travis McElroy?

  We're not.

• 19:42Griffin McElroy?

  They're having a pizza party and the party-

• 19:45Travis McElroy?

  This whole show's arguing semantics. Please go on.

• 19:46Griffin McElroy?

  The party is going, the party is popping. One little, the catalyst for setting off this party powder keg hasn't showed up yet. That's you with the zah. The pizza party's already happening. Why are you delivering food to a-

• 20:00Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, you're enormously wrong and I do want you to keep digging. So, what you're saying is that sometimes it's a pizza party and sometimes it's just a pizza? In the context of this question?

• 20:14Griffin McElroy?

  No, sometimes it's just, if I have people over to have a pizza party.

• 20:20Travis McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 20:21Griffin McElroy?

  Come on over to my place tonight, gang. We're watching.

• 20:23Travis McElroy?

  For a pizza party?

• 20:24Griffin McElroy?

  Come on over, we're watching Andor, have a couple slices. It's gonna be a fucking.

• 20:29Travis McElroy?

  They didn't need Andor, they stopped selling. They heard pizza party, they're coming over.

• 20:32Griffin McElroy?

  It's gonna be a time. We're gonna have a time.

• 20:35Travis McElroy?

  Now, what's the other option?

• 20:37Griffin McElroy?

  Let me please finish the first option. There is no second option. There is merely this hypothetical situation that's gonna take your guys shit apart. We're having a pizza party tonight, gang, come on over. We're gonna watch all of Andor and we're gonna have a couple slices. My six best friends show up, we're at the house and we're having the time of our lives. But, the pizza's running a little bit late. What are we having right now? What is the moment that we're in right now? What is this event that we're, what was on the Facebook invite? Right now, what are we in? The pizza party?

• 21:08Travis McElroy?

  A pizza party, uh huh.

• 21:09Travis McElroy?

  Yeah?

• 21:10Griffin McElroy?

  The pizza's not there yet, but that doesn't change the central thesis. That doesn't change the central thesis of what the gathering's all about.

• 21:19Travis McElroy?

  But the question says it's not uncommon for there to be a pizza party happening. So what you're saying, the question asker doesn't say, "I'm delivering pizzas to a pizza party." So that means that there is other uncommon events? Or maybe the more common event of, "I'm bringing, what, eight pizzas in and a pizza party is not happening? Dave's just real fucking peckish that day?"

• 21:43Griffin McElroy?

  The fact that you said.

• 21:44Travis McElroy?

  I think the essential question that Griffin has to answer is this. And this is where I actually don't, I actually don't have an answer.

• 21:52Griffin McElroy?

  Could you have, oh Juice, you've chosen your side in this, in this.

• 21:55Travis McElroy?

  Oh, no, no, in your, no, no, no, not, to my hypothetical, I don't answer. Could you have a pizza party where the pizza does not arrive? And it is still a pizza party?

• 22:05Griffin McElroy?

  No. If the pizza doesn't arrive, it's not, it's a failed pizza party, it's a gathering.

• 22:11Travis McElroy?

  So I would argue you're not having a pizza party until the pizza arrives. Because you cannot both be having a pizza party. And then in hindsight, not have had a pizza.

• 22:20Griffin McElroy?

  You were classifying it in hindsight as not a pizza party because the pizza never arrived. If the pizza arrives 30 minutes late, you're going to look back at that whole event, at all the memories that you formed around it. And you're going to say, that whole thing was a fucking pizza party. Do you understand what I'm saying?

• 22:34Travis McElroy?

  There's no way that I as a, okay, but there's no way that I as a delivery driver.

• 22:41Griffin McElroy?

  Of pizzas.

• 22:42Travis McElroy?

  Am thinking, uh, uh, uh, obviously I have a bias that the pizza party don't start till I walk in.

• 22:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 22:51Travis McElroy?

  Right?

• 22:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. So wouldn't that embolden you to get a sweet slice?

• 22:56Travis McElroy?

  No, but I wouldn't state it in the question that a pizza party had, is going on when I arrive. Because from my point of view, the pizza party cannot begin until I have arrived. So I wouldn't say a pizza party happening at said business when I arrive.

• 23:13Griffin McElroy?

  Is it?

• 23:13Travis McElroy?

  I'm the pizza delivery driver, unless I'm not, I'm a different delivery driver.

• 23:19Griffin McElroy?

  Please, I know people are getting frustrated. This is so important. This is, what we're doing here is always important.

• 23:25Travis McElroy?

  Obviously the most important science.

• 23:27Griffin McElroy?

  But if we, if we don't know the answer to this, I do not know how to guide this person. I'd say, I simply don't. And I, I, I do, I may be in the wrong here. I've been outvoted. I'm happy to concede the position. But I'm saying a little bit of clarity of language. Uh, maybe we get a, a, a, a follow-up email. I would love for this to be resolved peace, peaceably.

• 23:47Travis McElroy?

  And I think a little bit of grace on my, on my part.

• 23:49Griffin McElroy?

  I think a little bit of grace on everyone's part.

• 23:52Travis McElroy?

  Grace.

• 23:52Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, don't get me wrong. There's two of you and one of me. So if I'm right, it's going to be double good. It's going to feel double fucking good.

• 23:58Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 23:59Griffin McElroy?

  But, uh, but I will still be like pretty chill about it.

• 24:02Travis McElroy?

  And listen, uh, question answer here. Ask for a slice of the pizza, the weird pizza that they ordered for like one person who had a bunch of special requests. And no one else is going to eat it and they're going to end up throwing most of it away anyways. They can spare a slice of that one.

• 24:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:15Travis McElroy?

  I can't, do you know what my new thing is? When I have a large group of people that I'm trying to buy pizza for, this has happened quite, quite a lot recently. And everyone is saying they like all kinds of pizza. You're not helping me. I want to give you the pizza of your dreams. Please, a little guidance.

• 24:33Travis McElroy?

  My joy, when we're on tour and we get pizza and Rachel's there and Rachel is like all veggies. And it feels like a mini game that I'm winning where I can just add every veggie on the menu and the pizza place is gonna be so impressed. But it's like, nobody ever orders these. This is great. And I'm just like, yeah, throw alfalfa sprouts on there. Carrot coins? Yeah, go for it. She loves these things. And it feels like I'm winning a game. Hey, guys, if I could be so bold, why don't we head on over to the money zone? I respect that.

• 25:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, please.

• 25:14Travis McElroy?

  You know, Trav, a great way to get started with your project that you were telling me about would be a website.

• 25:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:22Travis McElroy?

  I know. I know what you were telling me that you thought that there was no way you could ever figure it out. And I told you.

• 25:28Travis McElroy?

  Figure out my project?

• 25:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:30Travis McElroy?

  Well, which one was I telling you about, Travis? Because I have so many project ideas bouncing around all the time.

• 25:34Travis McElroy?

  The candle one. And you were saying.

• 25:35Travis McElroy?

  The what?

• 25:36Travis McElroy?

  The candle one. And you were saying you could never build a candle website. And I said, maybe, Trav, you should believe in yourself. I meant to be clear. What I meant by that, believe in yourself, was you should use Squarespace.

• 25:47Travis McElroy?

  Now, do you remember specifically which candle project I was telling you about? Because I have so many candle ideas.

• 25:52Griffin McElroy?

  Remember, it was Travis McRoy's Eaten Candles.

• 25:55Travis McElroy?

  Oh, right, right, right.

• 25:56Griffin McElroy?

  Multipurpose candles you can.

• 25:58Travis McElroy?

  They were the fully edible, non-digestible candle that the whole family will love to smell.

• 26:04Travis McElroy?

  And they don't taste good.

• 26:06Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 26:06Griffin McElroy?

  No. And you had the tagline cooked up, which would look great as a header on a Squarespace website that was like, smell them or eat them. I don't give a shit.

• 26:15Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Here's the best part. I'm gonna put non-toxic on them, but it's spelled like the bread, like non.

• 26:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:21Travis McElroy?

  Right? And like the words, there will be hyphenated or anything like that. And then when people are like, yeah, this candle got really sick. I'm like, it says toxic.

• 26:30Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I was about to say that Squarespace would prefer you not do immoral things with your website, but you know what? Squarespace is probably not in the business of judging morality. I don't think Squarespace wants to be a referee for all the world's problems, you know? I think they just want to get some world-class designers, have them make some of the best templates in the world, and let you put your photos and the stuff you want to sell and your videos and your texts and all that stuff into the templates and give yourself a real professional-looking website.

• 26:56Travis McElroy?

  Edible candles? There's a question mark on it too, which helps.

• 26:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:00Travis McElroy?

  Head to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 27:10Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Griffin, I've been wondering, um, did you know that Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers?

• 27:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, dude.

• 27:22Travis McElroy?

  Oh, cool. Did you know that I'm one of those happy customers?

• 27:25Travis McElroy?

  I didn't.

• 27:27Travis McElroy?

  Oh. It's, I felt like you should keep track of the things happening in my life.

• 27:31Travis McElroy?

  Little bear tabs, yeah.

• 27:32Travis McElroy?

  I got a red bud tree for them, which I planted in my front yard, which is thriving. And I got myself a little Meyer lemon tree that I'm growing in my office. It's a real beaut. Um, the children are thrilled to have lemons in like two or three years. I don't know how long it takes to make lemons, but I'm gonna make lemonade because Fast Growing Trees sold me a lemon tree and I'm very happy with it. Um, and they have like plant, you know, different kinds of plants, not just trees, but stuff you can, you know, plant in your yard, uh, plant inside your home, uh, privacy trees.

• 28:07Travis McElroy?

  They won't sell you a lemon unless you ask them to.

• 28:10Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool. That's almost as good as, that's almost as good as smelling or eating them. I don't give a shit.

• 28:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:16Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 28:17Travis McElroy?

  Fair.

• 28:17Travis McElroy?

  Thanks so much.

• 28:18Travis McElroy?

  And you can get support from plant experts, uh, uh, who are on call to help you, uh, with everything you're trying to figure out with the plant. I highly recommend.

• 28:26Travis McElroy?

  They really do it. They really do it.

• 28:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I highly recommend, um, I'm not just the spokesman, I'm also a client and you can be too. This spring, they have the best deals for your yard, up to half off on select plants and other deals. And listeners to our show get 15% off their first purchase when using the code MYBROTHER at checkout, all one word. Now, the perfect time to plant. Use MYBROTHER to save today. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply.

• 28:57Travis McElroy?

  Who's ready for some science?

• 29:01Speaker 05

  With sources and nuance.

• 29:04Speaker 05

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 29:09Speaker 05

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 29:10Speaker 06

  Well, let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too.

• 29:14Speaker 05

  From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins. From quantum physics to the history of swearing.

• 29:19Speaker 06

  As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 29:22Speaker 05

  And some funny jokes from me. Me, Caroline Marifer.

• 29:25Speaker 06

  Dr. Ella Hubber.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  And Tom Lum. So join us next time where we will learn about everything.

• 29:36Speaker 06

  Hey, are you playing a video game right now?

• 29:38Speaker 07

  Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG.

• 29:42Speaker 06

  Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time. Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.

• 29:47Speaker 07

  I'm Jason Schreier.

• 29:48Speaker 06

  And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast. A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 29:55Speaker 07

  Like driving or cooking or playing video games.

• 30:00Speaker 06

  On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.

• 30:03Speaker 07

  And breaking news out of the video game industry.

• 30:05Speaker 06

  And we also talk about other stuff besides games.

• 30:08Speaker 07

  So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.

• 30:12Speaker 06

  Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 30:19Travis McElroy?

  I work as a hostess at a historic pirate restaurant in Savannah, Georgia. At the restaurant, we have pirates on duty who explain our history to guests and give tours of the building. Real pirates used to come here in the 1700s. It's actually pretty cool.

• 30:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you don't have to convince us.

• 30:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm on board. These tour guides obviously get to dress like pirates while I, as a host, wear a simple black shirt and black dress pants. My question is, how can I introduce the idea of my boss to my boss of possibly letting me dress like a pirate, too? Maybe not every day, but sometimes at least. I love Renaissance Ferris and would very much appreciate being able to carry some of that whimsy to the monotony of regular life.

• 31:00Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 31:02Travis McElroy?

  That's from Pirate Envy in Savannah, Georgia.

• 31:04Griffin McElroy?

  I think that this is a question of where does the pirate experience begin? Cause it sounds like it begins beyond the

• 31:16Travis McElroy?

  Conception.

• 31:17Griffin McElroy?

  Stand. It, oh, so.

• 31:19Travis McElroy?

  The pirate experience begins at conception.

• 31:23Griffin McElroy?

  For the pirate, I get the pirates experience.

• 31:26Travis McElroy?

  Pirates are born, not made, Travis?

• 31:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:29Travis McElroy?

  That you're, okay.

• 31:30Travis McElroy?

  When two pirates love each other very much.

• 31:33Travis McElroy?

  Reciprocity pirate genes.

• 31:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, the, the instant that, uh, that they climax, that's when the pirates, that is the exact moment that God has endowed that pirate with their soul.

• 31:45Travis McElroy?

  When they yell, "D'ar she blows."

• 31:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man. Yeah. When they're, when they're great harpoon. I don't want to do this anymore.

• 31:57Travis McElroy?

  I don't blame you.

• 31:58Griffin McElroy?

  Just, we're talking about stretching the perimeter of the pirate immersion. Another, you know, 20, 30 feet. Uh, just put some fucking barrels outside of the door and like a sail and have, uh, some shanties playing in the parking lot. And then when they, by the time they roll up, they're already in pirate mode. It's not weird that there's a pirate working at the host stand.

• 32:21Travis McElroy?

  I think that it is weird because I want the romance of piracy. I want the illusion, you know, I don't want to see pirates rolling silverware. I don't want to see pirates helping people to their table or writing down my name. Uh, I don't want a pirate to do any of that. I want that to be regular people. I need a pirate to just be a dramatic figure. Waltzing in, taking orders, you know, you know.

• 32:48Travis McElroy?

  Wait, sorry, the pirates taking your dinner order, though?

• 32:52Travis McElroy?

  Yes, that's like, cause I'm on their boat, I think in the fiction.

• 32:55Griffin McElroy?

  That's so wild, man. It's so wild to me that you're saying, I can't have a pirate show me to my table, but I will ask a pirate for the wine list.

• 33:05Travis McElroy?

  It actually, can I say? Griffin is right. This person should say the waiters can't be pirates. I don't think the waiters are pirates. What is up with you guys at Reading Conprehension today? There's pirates on duty that give tours and there was no mention of waiters or servers or nothing.

• 33:22Griffin McElroy?

  This is a good point. This is a good point Travis. When you go to the fucking Epcot Garden Grill, it's not like there's 60 chips and dales, like the roast beef is really good.

• 33:31Travis McElroy?

  Pardon, excuse me for a living that I assume in this economy, restaurants can't just have idle pirates walking around. You're gonna put them to work. Wait, they're also the bathroom attendants. They're the tour guide and the bathroom attendant.

• 33:45Griffin McElroy?

  This restaurant has so much excess headcount. I don't do anything with the fuck it. You work at a restaurant? Wow, you should make me dinner sometime. No, you don't understand. I'm a historical pirate cosplayer, um, role player.

• 33:59Travis McElroy?

  Guy that dances in the Mighty Money Boston. So it's like.

• 34:03Griffin McElroy?

  Um, yeah, I, I think this has gotta be in everyone dresses like a pirate or no one dresses like a pirate.

• 34:09Travis McElroy?

  You could slowly introduce, like over time, pirate accessories to your look and pirate things. And just like slowly add them on until you just do dress like a pirate. And it's like, yeah, you know, I, if you had asked me straight up, I would have said, no, that'd be weird. But now that I've seen you with like the bird and the cutlass and the eye patch and the bandana. I will say this, cutlass should be last. That's the hardest. Not first, God, no, not first.

• 34:38Griffin McElroy?

  Cutlass before flintlock, but then you're done.

• 34:40Travis McElroy?

  Cutlass, flintlock, I'm like, parrot is actually pretty late, honestly. That is a health code issue. I think you start with boots that kind of fold over on top and maybe are a little floppy. You start with that. That might be style. Your boss doesn't know.

• 34:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, I think that's a good, maybe don't do weapons. Cause if I walked into a restaurant and the host had a gun, no matter how antiquated it may be, I'm still not gonna feel like especially comfortable.

• 35:09Travis McElroy?

  Well, I do like that thing in movies and TV shows sometimes where like a bartender will have a weapon like up over the bar like a baseball bat or whatever to let me know that if stuff goes down, they've got a baseball bat. You could do something like that. A cutlass on the wall behind your host stand.

• 35:25Griffin McElroy?

  But we're talking decor. Oh, okay. So a cutlass just on the host stand at all times, just so people know.

• 35:31Travis McElroy?

  That's better than in some movies when the bartender like pulls out a shotgun they had underneath the bar. I always think like, God, that's stressful.

• 35:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 35:38Travis McElroy?

  Can you imagine? That's your day to day.

• 35:40Griffin McElroy?

  And you keep a lot of other stuff under there. I'm reaching in there to get the cherries for a drink and my hand brushes the shotgun? I'm gonna panic every time.

• 35:51Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Like if someone's like, can I bring my dog in here? It's like, oh, man.

• 35:53Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think so. My son, my son, my son Tucker loves those maraschino cherries. Yeah, he can't fucking come back here, man.

• 36:01Travis McElroy?

  But you have the little umbrellas and stuff? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is a gun area.

• 36:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, this is a place for cutlasses.

• 36:07Travis McElroy?

  No, don't order drinks over here. Scoop four feet to the right to order your drinks. Why can't I order them here? Uh, it's not safe. It's just not safe.

• 36:15Griffin McElroy?

  It's just not safe for you.

• 36:26Travis McElroy?

  I want a munch squad.

• 36:30Travis McElroy?

  I want to munch squad.

• 36:36Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast of the podcast profiling the latest and greatest of brand eating. And guys, I have such good news for you.

• 36:42Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 36:43Travis McElroy?

  Burger King is gonna release a menu celebrating the new How to Train Your Dragon movie. Yay. Trav, I know that you're a, uh, you, you appreciate this franchise. So I wanted to run through the items with you to see how you, a fan, feel about the menu that is coming, come along here. Cause Griffin and I don't have the familiarity with the franchise.

• 37:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:06Travis McElroy?

  So, uh, calling all dragon trainers, I'm guessing.

• 37:12Griffin McElroy?

  Is that like a thing?

• 37:13Travis McElroy?

  Is that a title?

• 37:14Travis McElroy?

  Well, it's right there. It's right there in the name of the movie.

• 37:17Travis McElroy?

  Train. So a dragon trainer is just any of the people who train the different dragons there?

• 37:22Travis McElroy?

  Well, eventually, yeah, Justin. There's a whole storyline.

• 37:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they got names like Funk Nuts and like all kinds of wild shit.

• 37:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 37:29Travis McElroy?

  Uh, Burger King in co-promotion with the new live action How to Train Your Dragon film.

• 37:34Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I'm glad they clarified they weren't just doing it solo.

• 37:37Travis McElroy?

  So.

• 37:37Travis McElroy?

  Hey, listen, we haven't reached out to them, but we're huge fans.

• 37:40Griffin McElroy?

  Love this shit.

• 37:42Travis McElroy?

  Uh, uh, they invite guests to take a trip to the Isle of Berk. That's, it got cut off.

• 37:47Travis McElroy?

  No, that's it.

• 37:48Travis McElroy?

  Isle of. What?

• 37:50Travis McElroy?

  Berk. That's just the name.

• 37:51Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's the whole.

• 37:52Griffin McElroy?

  That's why I'm saying, man, everything in this movie is like Gronk.

• 37:55Travis McElroy?

  Four dragon-inspired takes on fan-fitting.

• 37:58Travis McElroy?

  Nah, it's like Gronk.

• 38:00Griffin McElroy?

  Chug, Chug Ball. Like, everything in this movie has.

• 38:03Travis McElroy?

  Wait, so you have seen the movie, Griffin?

• 38:05Griffin McElroy?

  Just saying, just come up with some normal names.

• 38:08Travis McElroy?

  Uh, available starting Tuesday, May 27th, the new lineup was developed to help BK and How to Train Your Dragon fans alike celebrate the release of the new film.

• 38:19Travis McElroy?

  Cool.

• 38:20Travis McElroy?

  Soars into theaters on Friday, June 13th.

• 38:22Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 38:23Travis McElroy?

  As the home of the flame-grilled Whopper, Burger King is no stranger to fire.

• 38:27Travis McElroy?

  Huh.

• 38:27Travis McElroy?

  And reimagining America's most iconic burger. That's why BK is inviting guests to take their taste buds on a bold and flavorful journey with the adventurous new menu offerings, including the, okay, now Trav, this is where you're gonna have to help me, cuz I don't.

• 38:42Travis McElroy?

  The Dragon Flame Grilled Whopper. You know what? I actually have an image, so let me share with you guys, cuz I feel like the... Don't jump ahead of me, please, but.

• 38:53Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 38:54Travis McElroy?

  The Dragon Flame Grilled Whopper. The star of the show features a quarter pound of flame-grilled beef.

• 39:00Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 39:01Travis McElroy?

  Served on a red and orange marbled bun colored with.

• 39:06Travis McElroy?

  Natural spices and vegetables.

• 39:09Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 39:10Travis McElroy?

  Topped with American cheese, crispy bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, pickles, ketchup, and mayo.

• 39:14Griffin McElroy?

  This, um.

• 39:15Travis McElroy?

  It's compensating, guys. Come on.

• 39:17Griffin McElroy?

  That burger is the first hamburger I've ever seen that was perfectly spherical. That beautiful.

• 39:27Travis McElroy?

  It looks like it was drawn by God's compass.

• 39:29Griffin McElroy?

  It looks like a billiard ball, this beautiful, perfect hamburger.

• 39:35Travis McElroy?

  Now, Justin, if I may, to understand the question you're asking, this burger is.

• 39:42Travis McElroy?

  Does it remind you of any of the characters from the movie or?

• 39:46Travis McElroy?

  Well, I think that many of them would eat it.

• 39:50Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, that's a pretty low bar to clear.

• 39:52Travis McElroy?

  You could say that about any movie ever, ever made.

• 39:54Travis McElroy?

  I see.

• 39:54Travis McElroy?

  Except maybe supersize me, I guess.

• 39:56Travis McElroy?

  There's some red on the bun, which does make me think of, I guess, fire or blood.

• 40:02Travis McElroy?

  Um.

• 40:03Griffin McElroy?

  Is there a lot of blood in the franchise or?

• 40:05Travis McElroy?

  Well, there are Vikings and stuff. I think it's implied.

• 40:09Travis McElroy?

  Ah, crap. You didn't tell me there's Vikings in it.

• 40:11Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:12Travis McElroy?

  Now I'm getting interested.

• 40:13Travis McElroy?

  I assume when they say it's a dragon flame grilled burger, that they use dragon flame authentic to make it.

• 40:20Travis McElroy?

  I would assume so.

• 40:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:21Travis McElroy?

  Uh, uh, there's, there's also fiery dragon mozzarella fries.

• 40:25Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that's a big part of the movie. Mozzarella fries come up a lot.

• 40:29Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:29Travis McElroy?

  In the movie, every other minute when they get an injury, like I mentioned, they will often use mozzarella fries as like tourniquets or to plug up the wound.

• 40:39Griffin McElroy?

  They're mushy. The dragon doesn't have teeth. He needs mushy food. It's like a whole thing in the movie.

• 40:45Travis McElroy?

  Uh, in addition to bringing the flame, BK is bringing the heat with fiery dragon mozzarella fries, featuring melty mozzarella cheese, peppers, and fiery Calabrian chili pepper breading for the perfect fiery snack, served in a one of a kind, toothless, inspired carton.

• 41:01Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's actually what they do with the mozzarella fries, too. They stick them inside the dragon's head. For storage, because dragons are very porous, which is a big plot point in the movie. So when they need to store their dragon fries, they put them in the dragon's head for later.

• 41:16Travis McElroy?

  Now Travis, if you can see on there, the special Toothless inspired carton.

• 41:20Travis McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 41:21Travis McElroy?

  You can see there and there's wings on it.

• 41:23Travis McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 41:23Travis McElroy?

  And I guess the, and I guess what my question is, does that make you feel something?

• 41:28Griffin McElroy?

  Do you like that?

• 41:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:29Griffin McElroy?

  Box looks like the dragon.

• 41:31Travis McElroy?

  Here's what I'll say, I do, it makes me feel something, but mostly that I'm looking at a knockoff picture of Toothless that I might see on like a boardwalk T-shirt and not like.

• 41:43Griffin McElroy?

  Spray paint, yeah.

• 41:43Travis McElroy?

  It doesn't look.

• 41:44Travis McElroy?

  Your real son.

• 41:45Travis McElroy?

  It doesn't look like Toothless, he looks like he's saying, if you try to eat these fries, I will bite your hand.

• 41:51Travis McElroy?

  Is that maybe what live action Toothless looks like?

• 41:54Travis McElroy?

  I don't believe so.

• 41:56Travis McElroy?

  I don't, I don't know. I haven't.

• 41:57Travis McElroy?

  But I haven't seen the movie. He's less rectangular than that in the movie. And he's not as box shaped.

• 42:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, he does. He is not shaped like a carton of mozzarella fries. Next up, we got Soaring Strawberry Lemonade. And hey, huge promotion to the person that had to try to sell this one.

• 42:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:15Travis McElroy?

  Uh, soar to new heights and quench your thirst for adventure with the all new Soaring Strawberry Lemonade.

• 42:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, that's actually straight. That's canon, because when they're flying on the dragon's backs, there's a couple of points where they go through pink clouds. And then they come out and they're like, I'm soaked in strawberry lemonade. Why are there strawberry lemonade clouds up here?

• 42:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:37Travis McElroy?

  So that's, that's a direct reference.

• 42:39Griffin McElroy?

  And Justin, I would love for you to have to come up with a how to trade your dragon theme tie in for this pink. It had to be lemonade. It's pink lemonade. Yeah. Dragon fruit would have been better, but dragon fruit maybe doesn't taste so good in lemonade.

• 42:56Travis McElroy?

  Oh, like they needed to, yeah, they don't.

• 42:58Griffin McElroy?

  You think originally it was regular lemonade and they're like, this is dragon's piss.

• 43:03Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man. Can I tell you, if I, if you have a kid of a certain age and you say you want a big cup of dragon piss, they would love it.

• 43:10Griffin McElroy?

  Probably, yeah.

• 43:11Travis McElroy?

  Lastly, there's a Vikings Chocolate Sundae. Finish the adventure with Vikings Chocolate Sundae.

• 43:17Travis McElroy?

  Now, I take huge issue with this.

• 43:20Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 43:20Travis McElroy?

  Because canonically-

• 43:21Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you what it is first?

• 43:22Travis McElroy?

  Well, all of the Vikings are lactose intolerant.

• 43:25Travis McElroy?

  Okay, well, that's good to know.

• 43:27Griffin McElroy?

  The spicy mozzarella fries put these guys on the toilet for hours.

• 43:31Travis McElroy?

  Hours.

• 43:31Travis McElroy?

  Well, that's why it balances out, because the spice, they're like, it's worth it. A lot of the movie is real time shitting. Um, after they eat the mozzarella, they don't cut away. You hear them-

• 43:42Griffin McElroy?

  The dragons mostly train themselves while you're stuck on the john. Because of the Burger King combo.

• 43:48Travis McElroy?

  But unless you're about to tell me about a spicy sundae, Justin, I can't imagine they're putting them through what would be hours of bathroom experience.

• 43:56Travis McElroy?

  Finish the adventure with Vikings Chocolate Sundae. You, I don't think I've ever heard that. Finish the adventure.

• 44:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:02Travis McElroy?

  Uh, a delicious sweet treat.

• 44:04Travis McElroy?

  I've heard it when a pirate climaxes, but.

• 44:08Travis McElroy?

  It features vanilla soft serve with Hershey's chocolate syrup and black and green cookie crumbles. Quote, "At BK, we love to bring partnerships to life that create an awesome experience for families."

• 44:20Travis McElroy?

  And money.

• 44:21Travis McElroy?

  "Our new collaboration with How to Train Your Dragon is gonna be fun for both kids and kids at heart." Says somebody from Burger King.

• 44:30Travis McElroy?

  What about grownups at heart?

• 44:31Travis McElroy?

  Nope. "Our team has created delicious-"

• 44:33Griffin McElroy?

  I'm a mature, responsible, adult, married father of two. I'm an adult at heart, and I have to get me some of these spicy cheese fries and this bar burger.

• 44:45Travis McElroy?

  "Our team has created a delicious menu."

• 44:47Travis McElroy?

  Have the Dragon Ball burger.

• 44:50Travis McElroy?

  Inspired by the beloved characters and themes of this exciting new movie that brings the experience to Burger King restaurants. What themes would you say are best captured by fiery dragon mozzarella fries?

• 45:02Travis McElroy?

  I guess the theme of heat. There's a lot of heat in the movie. Fire, the theme of fire, I guess. Um, well, they, they use the mozzarella sticks. Um, it's a metaphor for love and connection. Cause like two of those things that bite of the mozzarella stick and it stretches out between him and hiccup and there's a 45 minute long monologue about how the string of mozzarella stick connecting them. It's like the love that connects them.

• 45:30Griffin McElroy?

  And then they kiss.

• 45:30Travis McElroy?

  That might be the theme.

• 45:32Griffin McElroy?

  And they kiss.

• 45:32Travis McElroy?

  This movie's eight hours long, by the way.

• 45:35Travis McElroy?

  Um, so there's, there's the, uh, how to train your dragon scoop, uh, Trav. You can start getting that May 27th. Uh, enjoy.

• 45:44Travis McElroy?

  I don't know if I can wait that long. I might try to make some of this at home. Uh, it seems too dangerous.

• 45:52Travis McElroy?

  I'm just gonna wait.

• 45:53Griffin McElroy?

  Does it come with a special crown? You didn't even mention a special crown.

• 45:57Travis McElroy?

  Uh, you know, the special crown is in the press release, so I didn't know how to cover it in our audio podcast. But yes, there is a very good looking crown that has horns on it. So that's very exciting. Travis, does that make you feel something?

• 46:07Travis McElroy?

  It makes me feel confused because it says how to train your dragon only in theaters. And I know that they're talking about the live action one, but how to train your dragon is also a movie that's available pretty much everywhere else.

• 46:19Griffin McElroy?

  You're right. It's not only in theaters, is it? Moreover, I don't want a crown that says how to train your dragon only in DreamWorks, how to train your dragon only in theaters on it. I'm the immersion. I get what you guys are going for here with this incredibly immersive, uh, inspired combo meal. But I don't want to wear a crown that says how to train your dragon only in theaters on it because that's not what the real dragon king would wear.

• 46:43Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:44Griffin McElroy?

  Do you know what I mean? Like have the courage of your convictions to know this is a how to train your dragon officially licensed Burger King crown. You don't need to fucking put it on there. Let me live my fantasy, please.

• 46:54Travis McElroy?

  They should include a book of matches instead of a crown. I think that would fit the theme more. It's like pretend like you're a dragon at home and set fire to things. And I think that would be feel really on brands.

• 47:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true. I don't want any of this.

• 47:11Travis McElroy?

  I, I celebrate them for not pitching it as a meal though. Thank you.

• 47:15Griffin McElroy?

  That's true.

• 47:16Travis McElroy?

  It's an adventure.

• 47:18Griffin McElroy?

  That's why they use it to adventure.

• 47:20Travis McElroy?

  It's not a meal, it's an adventure.

• 47:22Griffin McElroy?

  You can't refer.

• 47:23Travis McElroy?

  It's a, it's a, it's a strawberry lemonade and an, and an ice cream sundae and mozzarella fries and a perfectly round dragon burger and a crown. It's not a meal, it's a, it's a.

• 47:33Griffin McElroy?

  You gotta have the burger orb, the spicy cheese fries, the giant sundae and the huge pink lemonade.

• 47:38Travis McElroy?

  And then you'll unlock the crown.

• 47:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:41Travis McElroy?

  On your third playthrough. The real Isle of Berk. The bathroom.

• 47:47Travis McElroy?

  Hey folks, thank you so much for enjoying this podcast, assuming that you did enjoy it.

• 47:51Griffin McElroy?

  And you're welcome for us making it.

• 47:53Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:54Griffin McElroy?

  Or sorry if you didn't, just I don't know why we're covering our bases like this, but.

• 47:57Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you, you usually don't hedge that much on the entertainment value of our products. Apologies. I don't know what got into me. Hey, we're gonna be, uh, are we this week now? As they're listening to this, right? We're gonna be doing some shows this week, uh, in Michigan and Minnesota. So if you can get tickets to those still, bit.ly forward slash McElroy tours is where you can get those. If you are coming to those and you got a question you want answered or a fear that you'd like read aloud, email that to MBMBAM at maximumfun.org and put your city in the subject line. And we've got a bunch of other, uh, tour dates coming up, including California, Texas, Georgia, Utah, and a bunch of other ones. If you go to bit.ly slash, uh, McElroy tours, you'll find all the info and ticket links and stuff there.

• 48:41Travis McElroy?

  All the Taz shows are gonna be Taz versus, except for Anaheim. Uh, that Taz show is going to be Dadlands, uh, with, uh, Game Mom Brennan Lee Mulligan. Check those out, bit.ly slash McElroy tours.

• 48:53Griffin McElroy?

  We got some new merch, including flaming, not poisoning, raging tea of doom, a spicy caffeine free tea that we made in collaboration with Good Store Tea. Uh, I love it. I've gone through our stash entirely already and will need to procure more of this delicious, delicious tea. There's also a Plato's rave 1,000 piece puzzle, uh, designed by Danielle Majo Birch, uh, and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Center for Reproductive Rights. All of that is over at McElroymerch.com. And hey, thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better With You. Uh, check out some of the new tunes that Montane's been putting out, teasing on Sushi. You're gonna, you're gonna groove your groove thing and.

• 49:37Travis McElroy?

  I also want to say, thank you. Uh, we're recording this before Champions Grove, but thank you to everybody who came out to Champions Grove. We had, I assume, a great time, and I assume it will be great. So, thank you all for that. I also want to say, I haven't mentioned in a while, but I stream on Twitch, uh, fairly regularly. If you go to twitch.tv slash the Travis McRoy, you can find it there.

• 49:57Griffin McElroy?

  We also haven't mentioned, hey, come watch McRoy Family Clubhouse. It's every Tuesday.

• 50:02Travis McElroy?

  Take it clean. And when you don't say come house.

• 50:05Griffin McElroy?

  Did I say, I don't think it came out as come house.

• 50:07Travis McElroy?

  Hey, let's just take it clean for me.

• 50:09Griffin McElroy?

  All right, let me try again. Hey, and we haven't mentioned this in a while. Come on down Tuesdays to the McRoy Family Come House, and that's at noon on Tuesdays on our YouTube channel, which is the McRoy Family.

• 50:20Travis McElroy?

  Nailed it.

• 50:25Travis McElroy?

  One of us was right, one of us was wrong, and history will decide which is which. Do we have a fear or whatever?

• 50:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, we do. Griffin, why don't you read it? This year, I'd like to be faster than my fear that I am aging to a point where I'm finally going to be able to relate to the Grown Ups film franchise.

• 50:41Travis McElroy?

  My name's Justin McRoy.

• 50:42Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy.

• 50:44Travis McElroy?

  This has been my brother, my brother, may kiss your dads, square on the lips.

• 51:20Speaker 07

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.