Jiu Jitsu Master: Unlock Confidence and Achieve Balance with These Principles w/ Rener Gracie

The Summit of Greatness is back! Buy your tickets today – summitofgreatness.com – Today, we have the privilege of hosting a truly remarkable individual whose life story is intertwined with the very fabric of martial arts and combat sports. Please join us in welcoming World Champion, Rener Gracie, a name synonymous with Brazilian jiu-jitsu and a legacy that stretches back to the roots of the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). Stick around as we discuss how being a MMA World Champion has shaped his views on confidence while finding peace and balance. In this episode you will learn,Core Principles of Jiu-Jitsu Philosophy: Gain insights into the foundational principles of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu philosophy as presented in Rener Gracie's new book, "32 Principles," and understand how these principles can be applied not only on the mat but also in various aspects of life. Life Lessons from Jiu-Jitsu: Learn how the principles of Jiu-Jitsu can translate into valuable life lessons, covering topics such as problem-solving, adaptability, humility, and the importance of a growth mindset, all of which contribute to personal development and success. Holistic Approach to Wellness: Discover how Rener Gracie's book promotes a holistic approach to wellness, combining physical fitness with mental and emotional well-being, and understand how these principles can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle. Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution: Explore how Jiu-Jitsu principles can be applied to communication and conflict resolution, teaching listeners effective strategies for resolving conflicts, maintaining healthy relationships, and fostering understanding. Self-Defense and Empowerment: Learn about the empowerment that comes from understanding self-defense techniques and concepts, and how these principles can empower individuals to feel safer, more confident, and better prepared to navigate challenging situations in everyday life. For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1488For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960Want more episodes like this one? Shaolin Master, Shi Heng Yi - https://link.chtbl.com/1428-podA Masterclass on Self-Discipline with 5 Navy SEALs - https://link.chtbl.com/1440-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Lewis Howes?

  Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection. I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness, this September 7th through 9th, in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio, to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful transformative weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Josprey Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sincero, and many more. You'll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.

• 0:44Lewis Howes?

  So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com/summit2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  The reason why the world is falling in love with jiu-jitsu is because it changes the practitioner's operating system more profoundly and in less time than any other activity that we know of. Every single time you step on the mat, you're being reprogrammed, literally, as to how you face adversity in your life.

• 1:26Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 1:49Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Henner Gracie, who is a third-generation Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master of the legendary Gracie family. My man, so great to see you. And I just took my first jujitsu class from you 10 minutes ago. And I quickly realized that I'm inefficient as a human being. That I, if I get into a fight, probably I'm gonna hurt someone the wrong way. Someone's gonna hurt me the wrong way. And I don't have the skills that I thought I once had. You know, being a former pro football player, a decathlete, all American, a professional handball player with Team USA as well.

• 2:32Lewis Howes?

  You know, training with Olympians in boxing, I, I actually realized how someone so much smaller than me. With probably minimal skills and understanding of Brazilian jiu jitsu. Could probably, uh, you know, destroy me in a one to one match with the right setting. And so, thank you for letting me know of how much more I have to grow as a human being to really feel. A sense of inner peace and confidence, and I have inner peace until just now. So now I know that I need to master a new skill. Uh, and especially with the world feeling sometimes out of control. Or our own worlds feeling out of control. When we learn how to master ourselves and learn the principles that you're to talk about today.

• 3:17Lewis Howes?

  Uh, about this book, the 32 principles about harnessing the power of jujitsu. To succeed, not only in business and relationships, but in your life. Then I feel you can have true inner peace. So I'm excited, excited that you're here. And before we dive into the book and, and into the background of. How you became a master through your family and through your grandfather, who was, I guess, one of the founders of the UFC. Why do you think Brazilian jujitsu is something that everyone should at least take a, a bootcamp of classes? Over any other type of fighting techniques?

• 3:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, thank you for having me and uh, thank you for trusting me.

• 4:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  To guide you in that first lesson.

• 4:02Lewis Howes?

  You didn't break my arm, which was good.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:04Lewis Howes?

  You didn't strangle me.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I almost felt like us sitting down to talk about principles of jujitsu applied to life and business and relationships. It was hollow if you didn't know where all of my enthusiasm and where all of my passion came from.

• 4:19Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  So I'm so happy that you trusted me to try jujitsu today and have your first class. And the fact that it shattered some of your dreams, it reminded you of some of your vulnerabilities.

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  It kind of like really just gave you a whole new perspective on where you live and where you exist in the world relative to other people with these skillsets.

• 4:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, here's the interesting thing because I feel safe. You know, when I walk around, when I'm with my girlfriend, I feel like when I look around, I can take on anyone. Maybe it's like ego, or maybe it's just my ignorance or my naivety, or maybe it's just like I work out hard. I train hard, I'm strong, I'm athletic, I can run away from stuff also. I know I can escape something if they can't grab me, right? And so I just feel like I have awareness and if I need to, I can sprint and get out of it. But now noticing that if someone comes behind me and grabs me, I may not have that skill. If they put me in a chokehold real quick, I may not know what to do. And that's a scary thing, knowing that when there's a scenario that you could have control over, but you don't.

• 5:20Lewis Howes?

  That's a scary thing to be aware of and it doesn't mean I'm like terrified now. It just means, okay, there's more to learn.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Well, and furthermore, it's not just, you're not just feeling, you know, this idea of I could escape, I'm an athlete. That's one thing. There's another liability in all of this, which is if you were to get into a fight, because remember if you run from the fight, your girlfriend is still behind you and she's not as fast as you. You can't leave her in the train station and while you run upstairs and go get, she's in trouble too. So if a, if a violent situation were to happen and you choose to intervene, the problem is as athletic and powerful and strong as you are, you're more of a liability than an asset.

• 5:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  And I think that's what you realize today as well as we went through these techniques is like in all the situations that we contemplated. And I say, what would you do here? And you're like, well, I would just punch from here. What you have to realize is you break your hand, you break their face as we discussed, you brutalize the person. So at the end of the fight, even if you won the fight, you lost the war because you go to the hospital with a broken hand and the medical bill, and you get served that lawsuit later for excessive use of force. Because look how strong and big you are, any jury is going to look at you and say, why'd you do that to the poor guy who spit on your girlfriend? You see what I'm saying? You went from being the victim to being the culprit. So you're a liability because up until this point in your life, starting today with your first jujitsu class, you only knew how to fight fire with fire.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Starting today, you learn how to fight fire with water.

• 6:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Let's go. It's great.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  You feel me?

• 6:46Lewis Howes?

  We'll put some of this B-roll in from it as well. We'll have the full workout and demonstration on another video linked up as well.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  Now, in terms of why it's addicting, right? In terms of what's all the buzz about? What's all the hype about in terms of jiu-jitsu? Uh, I think it's, it's very profound in everyone who does it, but for those who don't, it's very misunderstood. The reason why the world is falling in love with jiu-jitsu is because it changes the practitioner's operating system more profoundly and in less time than any other activity that we know of.

• 7:24Lewis Howes?

  Explain.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yes. So what that means is there are some profound psychological shifts, reprogramming that happens once you start doing jiu-jitsu that you'd be hard pressed to find anywhere else. And there are three. Number one, how you face your problems. Number two, how you face other people.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Adversaries. And number three, how you face yourself. Okay, when we talk about facing your problems, conventionally speaking, if someone were to walk into this room right now and there were two people fighting, one person was on the top, one person was on the bottom, automatically, the bottom person is losing the fight, top person is winning the fight. That's an automatic, automatic.

• 8:06Lewis Howes?

  Two random people or?

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, even if we were fighting, even if you and I were fighting and I was on the bottom, right? They would walk in and say, look at this big guy on top of this little guy. He's losing, he's winning. It's automatic. Now, in jiu-jitsu, not only is this not true, but in a very real sense, the opposite is true. Because jiu-jitsu teaches us to be underneath in very uncomfortable positions and not only be comfortable, it's more than that. It teaches us to win in what so many others see as worst-case scenarios. I demonstrated when I was under you and I was telling you to slap me in the head and you couldn't, how quickly I snuck into a triangle choke. So you went from the dominant top position to tapping out in a matter of five seconds. And you didn't really know what happened to you. And my point is to the general public,

• 8:52Speaker 01

  they don't understand that you can be in a worst-case scenario and win. And when you practice jiu-jitsu, it reprograms your brain to that reality. Number two, how you face other people.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  From an evolutionary standpoint, larger members of a species consistently defeat smaller, weaker members of the same species. Larger gorilla annihilates the smaller gorilla when fighting for territory or a mate. A larger squirrel will annihilate a smaller squirrel, weaker squirrel, when it's fighting for a nut. This is normal. But humans are uniquely suited to violate the natural order of things, the biological natural order of things, to learn skills and process information that can actually give them a chance to defeat a larger, stronger member of the same species. And jiu-jitsu is, proven over 100 years now, the fastest way for someone to accomplish that. Wow.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Number three, how you face yourself. 99.9% of the world, including all of the viewers watching right now and everyone listening right now, have never tried a jiu-jitsu class. Because they don't feel capable. They feel too old, they feel too young, they feel too fat, they feel too skinny, too tall, too short. Every excuse you can imagine, they're giving themselves those excuses as to why not to do jiu-jitsu. But for the lucky few who make it onto the mat, not only do they realize that their fears or their beliefs about their inabilities or incapabilities are not true, they realize

• 10:30Speaker 01

  that they're more capable in the very bodies that they were born with than anything they ever imagined. And the analogy I like to use is like a Swiss Army knife, right? Every human being in the world I see as a Swiss Army knife. But the crazy part is, all of them are existing, having only ever used the knife feature. Literally, the knife, the blade. These people have no idea that they have a tweezer, they have a Phillips head, they have a nail file, they have a magnifying glass, they have scissors. And the actual most robust Swiss Army knife, I looked it up a few nights ago, has thirty-three tools on it. And what jiu-jitsu does is it teaches you how to use your body, you felt that today,

• 11:14Speaker 01

  in ways that you never imagined possible, to acquire leverage over your opponent. Wow. So every single time you step on the mat, you're being reprogrammed, literally, as to how you face adversity in your life. Number one, the problems you thought were insurmountable are surmountable. Number two, the people you thought were undefeatable are defeatable. And number three, the body you thought wasn't capable is capable. And this is why jiu-jitsu is so addicting. Because it makes what was never before possible absolutely possible. And initially, this reprogramming happens as a function of learning techniques. For example, today, I put you down, I got on top of you, what would you do?

• 11:57Speaker 01

  You struggled. I can't, Henry, I don't know. Switch roles? And then I showed you a move and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, that was awesome. And he did it and you're like, alright, I believe that what I thought wasn't possible is possible. And then I did it a second time, and a third, and a fourth, and a fifth. And before you know it, all these techniques are giving you solutions, Lewis, to problems that always existed that you never knew were surmountable, that were achievable and overcomable. So now you're like, man, this is amazing, get me more techniques. And that addiction will last for several years, two or three years, where you're like, get me more moves to solve problems. But what eventually happens for every long-term jiu-jitsu practitioner is they realize, after learning hundreds, eventually thousands of techniques, individual solutions to individual problems, is they realize

• 12:39Speaker 01

  that there are fundamental techniques that hold this entire thing together. A rather limited set of thirty-two principles.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Make every one of those techniques possible. So essentially, we have an alphabet to our jiu-jitsu language. And once you identify what those thirty-two principles are in your jiu-jitsu, you become capable of creating techniques in situations where you don't have a technique for. And it becomes magical. You could put me in any position right now on the ground, hold me however you wanted. If I know a technique, I'll deploy it. If I don't know it, I'll make it up on the spot as a function of the foundational principles that make all the moves possible. And then, once I create a technique using two, three, five, any selection of these principles, I'll make it up on the spot. You will be blown away because you'll think it's a move that I've known for years, but I just made it up right now.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  And this ability to improvise is only possible once you become a student and a practitioner of the principles of jiu-jitsu. And then the real breakthrough happens when you realize that these thirty-two principles are not limited in their deployment in combat situations, but that they have equal potency in every aspect of personal and professional life.

• 13:55Lewis Howes?

  There's so much I wanted to ask you about during that. But first, I heard you say there's three main things that you face. You face your problem, or how you face your problem, how you face other people, and how you face yourself, right?

• 14:08Speaker 01

  That's exactly right.

• 14:11Lewis Howes?

  What is the biggest problem that you face today?

• 14:13Speaker 01

  That's a great question.

• 14:15Lewis Howes?

  Of these three, is it, you know, other people, yourself, or a problem?

• 14:20Speaker 01

  The biggest problem I face today is one that we are tackling together right now. Is we have the most powerful fighting system known to man ever in terms of jiu-jitsu. And when I say most powerful, I'm not saying other arts aren't valuable. I'm saying the one that can do the most for the people with the least.

• 14:40Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Yes. That's what makes jiu-jitsu the best.

• 14:42Lewis Howes?

  How many martial arts practices are there?

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Good question. I would say-

• 14:46Lewis Howes?

  What are the main?

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Well, I would say, yeah, you're talking about the karate, kung fu, taekwondo, kickboxing, boxing, judo, sumo, wrestling, savat, shoot fighting. Then you start to get like variations of those, right? Like, those are the ones, jiu-jitsu.

• 14:57Lewis Howes?

  But I mean, there's ten.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would say ten to twenty, just because I don't want to be Krav Maga, like you have these other ones. But then each one of those has kind of like different denominations of the same religion, right? There's like other variations of it. So there are dozens and dozens of martial arts, and they all have great things to offer. And if you trace back to the roots of what each one was designed for, they neutralize that particular concern.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  We just happen to be lucky in jiu-jitsu that ours was designed by our grand masters, Ellyu and Carlos Gracie, to help a smaller, weaker person prevail against a giant. That was it. That's all that had to happen. Small, weak men against larger, stronger, aggressive, crazier, meaner, uglier men. And then eventually the spillover to women and children is automatic because women in a self-defense situation or a child in a bullying encounter, they need equally efficient solutions. But to your question, the what's the problem? The problem is this. We have the most powerful martial art on the planet. We have the most powerful promotional vehicles for this martial art, the UFC.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  You got Joe Rogan, you got Jaco. Now we got Lewis and the School of Greatness advocating for jiu-jitsu. And you see it in movies now at Avatar, the guy on the scene on top of the mountain, he chokes out the dragon that he strangles and then he submits it and then he rides the thing. That's jiu-jitsu influence in the movies. So the point is, we have the most powerful art, the most powerful promotion vehicles, but yet 99.9% of the human population has never stepped foot on the mat. So my biggest problem that I face is as someone who is very proud of being a member of this iconic family that bring this art to America and to the world, my job isn't done until everyone is doing jiu-jitsu. And the reasons they don't do it, I named a few.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  There are others, but it's my job to not only make it desirable and known to everyone by introducing people like yourself to the art and showing that introduction and showing that it's safe and it's fun and it's effective and anyone can do it. And all of their fears are unfounded, but also to create the vehicles through which the world can learn jiu-jitsu in a safe and structured way. Because there are lots of jiu-jitsu schools and unfortunately, it's such an unregulated industry that many of them teach jiu-jitsu in ways that are both confusing. Unsafe injuries happen quite frequently and um and also contextual relevance isn't always the case when people are learning. There's a lot of emphasis on aspects of jujitsu that

• 17:27Speaker 01

  do not give a brand new student the sense of confidence and empowerment that you were introduced to today and that that we try to do with every one of our students that we help learn this art.

• 17:35Lewis Howes?

  What so of all the you know called 20 30 different martial arts, you get a black belt the same size in jujitsu versus a black belt of the same size and weight and shape in another martial arts, the other top martial arts, which one typically would win?

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Jitsu every time.

• 17:55Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:56Speaker 01

  A hundred years have proven it.

• 17:58Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:58Speaker 01

  That's what we've done, Louis. This is the whole point. This is why we're sitting here today. This is why you know about the UFC. This is why the UFC was born. This is why the UFC had staying power. This is why the Gracie family is known all over the world. This is why the US Army completely rewrote their hand to hand combat manual to be based on Gracie combatives and Brazilian jujitsu techniques that we taught them 20 plus years ago when the UFC first came out. So or now 30 years. So this is the whole point. This is why this is so remarkable. And I'm saying this not to be boastful. I'm saying this out of pride and excitement of the fact that I'm part of a family that has completely flipped martial arts on its head. And when people ask, what's the biggest thing that the Gracie

• 18:39Speaker 01

  family has done? I think that we the Gracie family has completely violated and redefined the distance from which a fight is fought. For the longest time, you think Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, movies, Hollywood, really influenced, but they're doing what looks good on camera. And as any actor or fight choreographer will tell you, what looks good on camera and what really works are two separate classes, right? Like my wife worked for the WWE for six years. So camera versus reality, it's a whole different world.

• 19:05Lewis Howes?

  Doesn't look good when you're just laying on top of someone.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  No, it's not glorious. It's unremarkable. It's boring.

• 19:10Lewis Howes?

  Now, why, though, when I watch the UFC or the Ultimate Fighter, are they it seems to me like they're always standing up and they're always punching, kicking, they're they're they're keeping their distance, they're trying to get the elbows in the face, the

• 19:23Speaker 01

  So what has happened?

• 19:24Lewis Howes?

  Why don't they just all do Brazilian jiu jitsu?

• 19:26Speaker 01

  It's been 30 years. They all do Brazilian jujitsu.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  So, for example, my brother and I are both black belts and when we spar, it's like two grizzly bears. Right. And no one really has an advantage. If you make one mistake, you get caught. But for the most part, it's a draw, like very tight. And it wasn't always. I'll tell you that story separately. Like he beat me up for many years and then I had a breakthrough. But the point is, it's very neutralized. So what you see today is everyone does Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. They're all great at it. Everyone's great at wrestling. Everyone's great at kickboxing. Right. But here's the whole point. In the world, the population of the world, not everyone can kickbox. Cause we don't want to get punched in the nose. And not everyone can wrestle. Cause it's a relentless sport that is incredibly unforgiving. And there's a reason why. You graduate high school and you're done wrestling, maybe a little college, but after that, your body simply can't take it. Yeah.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  And it's injurious. It's so intense. Unlike Jiu Jitsu, which my grandfather did till 95 years old on the farm. Wow. Training till the very end. So, the beauty is MMA is a great vehicle for promoting Jiu Jitsu and the arts. But the general public looks at that and what they say, Louis, is they go, hmm, I don't want to get down. I don't want to do this. It's too violent. Yeah. I don't want to do that thing in the cage. But what I'm here to say, and why we've done Gray Scene Breakdowns. We have a YouTube channel with half a billion views of people who want to see. Videos of how these techniques come to life, like we did today. Yeah. Where the technical side of it, and then my goal and my, my cry at the end of every video is, listen, it is for you. You can do Jiu Jitsu. You can do Jiu Jitsu. It's for all of us.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  But someone has to convince them to get off the couch, step on the mat for the first time. And the teacher that is trusted with that first class has to make sure they don't get hurt. They're safe and what they learn makes sense to them, like it did for you today, where you say, wow, wins class number two. Right. Teach me more. You feel me? Teach me more. There you go. Exactly. I give you the first class for free. You get hooked and then I'll catch you on the back end. Exactly. But my point is, it's so easy to ruin it. But when you ask my biggest problem, that's my biggest problem. The best martial art on the planet, the biggest promotional vehicles, and 99.9% of the population has never tried a class. And my job is to flip that so that only 0.1% is remaining when I'm done. Wow.

• 21:42Lewis Howes?

  So did your grandfather start this martial art? Or how did this actually come about where he learned these things and and made it? You know, a thing?

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, so my great uncle Carlos Gracie was introduced to Jiu Jitsu as it was practiced in Japan. By a Japanese immigrant who went to Brazil. Once he learned this Japanese art, he became very fanatical about it. He loved it, but my my Carlos was the oldest brother. My grandfather was the youngest brother. So while his older brother started practicing and were quite effective in their practice and having fun. They started teaching it in Brazil. Uh, my grandfather was the little runt of the family and doctors prohibited him from doing any athletic activity. Cause he suffered from vertigo type of the conditions where he could run and he would pass out from exhaustion. So he was limited, so he dropped out of school in the third grade. And then he basically is sitting, watching his brothers practice all day, every day as a matter of course. So his brothers were training, he was only observant.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  One day, a student showed up for a private class with Carlos, the oldest brother. But my grandfather was there to watch, but Carlos was absent. So the student says, he's just there, Carlos, no Carlos, no Carlos. And you, my grandfather was there to observe around 16 years old. And Elia said, hey, Carlos isn't here. If you would like to, I'll go through the class with you and just go through the techniques until my brother shows up. What do you say? And the man, much older gentleman said, yeah, of course, kid, let's go. They do the class, they complete the class. Carlos shows up very apologetic at the end. And then the student says, hey, no problem. In fact, I had a class with your younger brother. And if you don't mind, I would like to keep training with him from now on. So a student promoted my grandfather to a teacher. Then off he went. He's having the best time of his life, learning Jiu Jitsu, but he's realizing there's certain limitations

• 23:18Speaker 01

  in these techniques for his body that made it difficult with his limited physique to be effective. So adaptations began.

• 23:25Lewis Howes?

  So that was the Japanese Jiu Jitsu?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's kind of coming in, yes.

• 23:28Lewis Howes?

  And now you're transitioning.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  So what's happening is the emphasis and the techniques and the prioritization of leverage and timing and patience and energy efficiency over brute strength and speed and power, that shift is happening in their hands. And my my grandfather went from the youngest brother to becoming the family champion, such that Carlos was now organizing challenge matches against every martial artist you can imagine in Brazil.

• 23:49Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  Was challenged by my grandfather. Some accepted, some did not. The Brown Bomber, Joe Lewis, the heavyweight boxing champion in America, went to Brazil. My grandfather challenged Joe to a fight. And Joe denied, did not accept the challenge. So this is like, this is what's happening in Brazil during this era. Way before the UFC was ever even dreamt of. So then my dad is born into this legacy of fighting and his brothers. My grandfather had nine children. Carlos had 21 children. 30 kids, 105 grandchildren between the two of them, including myself. So my dad is born into this fighting legacy from day one, you're learning jiu-jitsu. He comes to America after graduating law school in Brazil, comes to America in 1978. Gets established right down here in Hermosa Beach, Southern California, and every person he meets, he invites for a free class.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  And then that person invites another friend, they get a free class, the friend gets a free class, everyone you tell gets a free class. And before you know it, the garage is full. And during that time, challenge matches are happening. Where people who practice multiple martial arts are like, hey, they go tell their karate master, "Come to Torrance and come try this, come to Hermosa Beach. This jiu-jitsu stuff is really good." The karate master says, "No, I don't agree with it. I don't think it would work on me." They come back and tell my dad, "Yo, my master doesn't think this would work on him." And my dad goes, "Hey, well, tell your master, and if he ever wants to try it out, it'd be my pleasure." Right. And then the master gets told that, and they say, "Yeah, I accept the challenge." And then they show up in the garage. Wow. And these challenge matches are happening. No rules, no referee. It's just a fight on a mat. Anything goes. Do whatever you want. We fight until someone's knocked out, broken, or taps out, or gives up, whatever it is.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  And they would get choked out like this, time and time. Oh my gosh, bro. These guys are practicing breaking boards for 30 years. They simply cannot believe that they cannot land one punch for their life. They can't land one? One. Why can't they? Distance management, like I showed you. Yeah. When we talked about the Mike Tyson situation in our class. Whoever manages the distance, manages the damage that can be done. And the reason why people get knocked out in fights is because they stand at the striking range, you know this from being a boxer. Yes. From standing at a striking range, and they give, and they get, and they give, and they get. But if I stand too far away, meaning six feet away, two arm lanes, you can't punch or kick me. If you're too close, you can't get a great punch.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  Yes, and when you come towards me, Louis, to try to punch me, I come in. Yeah. And I do so without any warning or notice. And I got you now, and I've grabbed a hold of you. And all it takes is one. So for you, you have to hit me and knock me out. And that's a very hard, you can throw 100 punches and never knock me out. I just have to grab you once.

• 26:18Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  And if I grab you, your life is over unless I choose to spare your life, which I will because I'm a compassionate human being. But my point is, I have, I can do whatever I want with you. Once I grab you one time, and this is what happened in all these challenge matches.

• 26:31Lewis Howes?

  So you, right now, versus Mike Tyson in his prime, you would win every time?

• 26:38Speaker 01

  You gotta choose where to put your money.

• 26:40Lewis Howes?

  But that's what you believe.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  I put my house, all my kids, all my money, everything I own, I put on that and I double it the next day.

• 26:46Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Unless he got lucky with one punch.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Yes, my point is this, he has to get lucky with one punch, which if you see two professional boxers boxing, how hard is that? It's hard to get that punch.

• 26:56Lewis Howes?

  It's hard.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  Right? And if I stand six feet away, there is no punch. And then when I close the distance and I grab.

• 27:00Lewis Howes?

  It's over.

• 27:00Speaker 01

  These punches are no longer powerful because I'm too close.

• 27:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  And to be clear, Hoist challenged Mike at his prime. Hoist, there was a challenge where Hoist Gracie challenged Mike Tyson publicly, and Mike did not accept the challenge at his boxing prime. So this has already happened, and Mike knows.

• 27:15Lewis Howes?

  Unless it was boxing rules.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  Of course. No, but it's suicide.

• 27:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  The same way MMA, or what we now call MMA, but back then is normal, valle tudo, which is called everything goes in Portuguese. Valle tudo, Mike versus any member of the Gracie family, you know, and they're athletic, healthy, you know, stayed at 25, 35, 40 years old. Mike has no chance. And he knows this and he respects this because he's playing a sport. Boxing is a sport. It's one sliver of a fight. Jiu Jitsu is a complete fighting system that covers the striking, the distance management, the distance closure, the taking the fight to the ground on the ground, whether we're on top or on bottom, whether you're striking me or not, makes no difference. If you practice Jiu Jitsu in its fullest form, you have control of every aspect of the fight.

• 28:00Lewis Howes?

  Have you ever had to use this in the real world?

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:04Lewis Howes?

  Like out in public, has someone ever, have you ever had to submit someone?

• 28:07Speaker 01

  12 years old.

• 28:08Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 28:08Speaker 01

  12 years old.

• 28:09Lewis Howes?

  As an adult, have you had to also or no?

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Yes, and here's the irony of it all. So as, when I was 12, I fought. When I was Like out in the streets? Yes. When I was thirty-five, I verbally de-escalated because I knew how to fight. Right. That's the key in all of this. The number one skill everyone listening and watching right now needs for self-defense is the ability to set boundaries. Yeah. It's so critical. And this isn't true with just strangers. It's also true in our personal relationships, in our intimate relationships, right? So important. Boundary setting, but let's take it to the self-defense realm for a second. What was this at thirty-five? What happened? Oh, I'm gonna tell you, but I'm gonna frame it. Okay. Okay, so self-defense is boundary setting.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Because, let's say you're a woman at a gas station pumping gas and someone is walking towards you. You don't know who they are. They might be even nicely dressed. Let's just make it less suspicious. There's a normal-looking guy walking towards you. For a woman in that situation. Non-threatening. No, we don't know. We don't know. That's the whole point. A woman doesn't know. But let's say her senses tell her, uh, doesn't feel right. There's nobody else in the gas station. He's moving directly towards her. There's no car next to you. She, there's no store over there. He's not, where is he going? So if she starts to feel that feeling, the number one thing she must do is turn and look directly at him and say, "Don't get any closer." Wow. Set a boundary. Stay right there. Yeah. If he takes one more step, I said, "Don't get any closer."

• 29:35Speaker 01

  She has to escalate. Because when you set a boundary, you've now created the opportunity to reveal intention.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  If you don't set a boundary, you don't ever have a, a way of assessing truly the intention. If you say, "Hey, don't get any closer." And he backs up and says, "I'm so sorry, ma'am. You dropped this." Right, right, right, right. "I was gonna give it to you, but I can see that I shouldn't have walked towards you when you're by yourself. I'm so sorry. I'll leave it here." No harm, no foul. Everyone's happy. Everyone went home safely. Amazing. Or if you say, "Hey, don't step any closer." And he takes one more step by saying, "But ma'am, I just wanna make sure if you need any help." "I don't need any help. Stay where you are." You see how he tried to give her the runaround, the conversational web, we call this. When he tries to give her that runaround and wrap her into that web of random mumbo jumbo question and answer, just random conversation to trick her to get closer.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  He's trying to get closer so he can take action without being detected. The point is, you'll never know that it's game on until you set that boundary. So when we teach women, when we teach children dealing with bullies, and even when we teach men in a road rage incident, I'm gonna say, guys, you guy gets out of the car, he might be upset. You need to tell him, stay right where you are, I can see you're upset. I'm gonna take my car out of this parking spot, because I know you can see that you think it was your spot, but don't take one step closer. And if he takes another step, guess what, it's on. Do you understand? You set a boundary, you reveal the intentions. Here's the problem. Here's the problem, Louis, it gets worse. Whether it's a child, whether it's a woman, whether it's a man.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  People don't set boundaries that they aren't capable of enforcing.

• 31:16Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, they're false boundaries.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're hollow.

• 31:20Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, they're hollow.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  You can't say, don't take one more step.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  If them taking one more step.

• 31:26Lewis Howes?

  Your screws.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  Your whole system's in a whirl, you get a hardwire, and you're gonna trip out and run in circles and run. Do you understand? You don't have the backup. So here's what this is all about. Learn how to fight, so you never have to fight.

• 31:39Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  That's the whole game. I don't get into fights as an adult, because I'm so empowered with jiu jitsu that there isn't an altercation that I can't verbally de-escalate. It doesn't exist unless someone is in the act of violently assaulting someone.

• 31:57Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  In which case, I will intervene and put out that fire with water and compassion. And I'll protect the aggressor, I'll protect the victim, and I'll protect myself. We all go home, no one goes to the hospital. That's my ability and my commitment if I have to intervene. So unless, of course, I have to use a higher level, but I'm not to say that if I don't catch you in an arm bar, and you have a knife in your hand.

• 32:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  The arm is coming off until you drop the knife. I'll take the arm off and I'll go home and hang it on my mantle. So to be clear, I have the ability. But I also have the ability to do everything I want to do without hurting anyone. Yes.

• 32:27Lewis Howes?

  And you you never had to have you ever had to intervene in a fight?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  So the situation that I had, I was at the I was at the Anaheim House of Blues for an Ozo Motley concert. Amazing band, uh, who the head, one of the head guys there is a black belt of ours. He was performing and I was in the crowd, it was me and my wife. And there's a guy next to me who literally created his own mosh pit.

• 32:48Lewis Howes?

  Banging people, yeah, yeah.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  And I'm like, no one is moshing right now. And I'm not even in the front, I'm like way back, like where the bar is. I don't drink, right? Just water and watermelon juice, but like I'm back where the bar is. And I'm hanging out, like getting a good view, like a good eye level, and he's just throwing a mosh. And in my mind, I'm like, I can move. But he will make someone else's life uncomfortable. You feel me? Like this is inappropriate. He's just, he's tripping on some drugs or alcohol or both. And I said, if he bumps me one more time, I will have to make this clear.

• 33:19Lewis Howes?

  He bumped you?

• 33:20Speaker 01

  Bro, it was it was crazy. So, yeah, so he freaking comes in, he bumps again. Boom, he hits me again. Right next to him, I grab him by the neck. And I say, hey bud, I see you're having a really good time.

• 33:36Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  I said, but do me a favor. Do not bump into me one more time, or we're gonna have to dance.

• 33:46Lewis Howes?

  What is?

• 33:47Speaker 01

  And then I alleviated my squeeze.

• 33:53Lewis Howes?

  What happened?

• 33:55Speaker 01

  And there was no more mosh pit.

• 33:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  So.

• 33:59Lewis Howes?

  You never, you never had to get in a fight then? You've always been all the D S.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  I've had some challenge matches where guys come into the school and say, I believe in kickboxing, I believe in jiu jitsu, let's fight. Boom, so some of those, but out in the street, I have not, not in my recollection.

• 34:09Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Right, except for the challenge matches and the fight when I was younger, when I was a kid. And then every week we put on gloves and we punch each other while we practice in a safe way, but yeah, not really having to, yeah, nothing out in the street.

• 34:19Lewis Howes?

  That's what I mean.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  Because that's the challenge, right? And when you, it's almost like, imagine if I carried a gun everywhere. You feel me? Always. And I spoke to people as if I had a gun. How many fights you think I would get it? None.

• 34:34Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Cause they know I have a gun.

• 34:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  I don't carry a gun. But I carry the confidence of someone who has a gun. So I speak the same way.

• 34:43Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  And they feel it. And if anything, push comes to shove, right? Which if the combative energy of an interaction starts to escalate. Calm assertive, right? Cesar Millan, who I've taught as well.

• 34:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, he's great.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Calm assertive. Listen, man, I can see you're having a good time. Do me a favor, don't bump into me one more time, or it's gonna be a problem.

• 35:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  And when you talk like that, he thinks either I have a gun or I have a Jiu Jitsu black belt. He doesn't know, and he doesn't want to pay to find out.

• 35:11Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm. What does someone with your type of skill sets and your decades of experience and training? Not only you mastering it for yourself, but also you teaching and empowering others to become black belts eventually and watching them overcome challenges. What does someone like yourself deal with insecurity? Do you have insecurities still that you face? Is it a different type of insecurity or fears that you face with this? Or is it just less and more confidence than without the black belt or without the training?

• 35:45Speaker 01

  A heavy question. When we talk about my insecurities or my fears.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  I think my biggest fear is letting my sons down. You feel me? Like, we get one go at this. I have two boys, seven and four. And I'm like, I've seen a lot of people kind of play their movies out. And, and, and the movie ends in a way that, you know, was not either what they wanted or what they intended. I have a vision for how my movie ends and where it goes. And my biggest fear is that I fall short of how I anticipate my movie going. Right? When it comes to, um, right? Living up to.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  I think my kids' expectation of me or living up to my full potential as a father, as a husband.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  That's my only big fear, big insecurity. Other than that professionally, it's very good. I've achieved heights that I'd never imagined would be possible from someone who, right, grew up in a martial arts family, right? For all intended purposes, a karate family, right? To the general public, wearing the uniform and practicing jujitsu moves on the mat, never went to college, you're right, no degree. But now, you know, sitting at the helm of multiple very successful businesses in and out of jujitsu. So professionally, I'm very happy. Relationship wise, it's great. I have a wonderful marriage with a wife that I've been with for over a decade now. And it's just, everything is great, right? So for me, it's like, how does this movie end? Where do I go?

• 37:21Speaker 01

  And do I continue to be the father to them that, that I know I can be? And I just don't want to let them down. And that's it.

• 37:29Lewis Howes?

  How do people, after they go through jujitsu training for a while? How do their intimate relationships usually tend to go? You know, maybe they're in a child you want and they get out of it or they improve it? Or are people in jujitsu, single and divorced? Are they more like, okay, they see the value of actually committing and being in an intimate relationship and honoring your partner? How is the community overall with healthy, conscious relationships? And what does it teach you about intimacy?

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Great question. There is a very common thing that occurs on the green mats in jujitsu heaven here at our school, the Torres called Gracie University. Very common thing, which is when people, men in particular,

• 38:18Speaker 01

  stop coming to class for a while. Like say they stub a toe, they professionally, they get caught up with a work mission, two or three weeks go by. Their wives are the ones who tell them to go back to class.

• 38:30Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. So that should tell you something.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Patience, right?

• 38:38Lewis Howes?

  Humility.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Humility.

• 38:40Lewis Howes?

  Can submit it all the time.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  Humility, patience, right? The energy, right? Letting that energy out, that physical release of jiu jitsu. All the principles, right? That we talk about in the book, um, that are reinforced every single day. The problem solving principles, the clock principle, um, the win wins, right? All of these aspects that are so prominent on the mat leak into every aspect of our lives. We become better fathers, better husbands, right? Better brothers, better bosses, better employees, every aspect of your life.

• 39:10Lewis Howes?

  Come on.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  You will be a better performer in that capacity with the principles of jiu jitsu in your arsenal, right? In your problem solving arsenal. Because when you deal with adversity in the unique and effective ways that jiu jitsu deals with adversity on a daily basis, you can't not allow it to spill into every other aspect of your life. Once you're efficient somewhere, you're efficient everywhere. How you are anywhere is how you are everywhere. And jiu jitsu, it just reprograms us in the ways that I already explained.

• 39:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Such that when you go home or you go to the office or you're existing anywhere else, you're not, you're not the same human being anymore. You're different, you're wired differently. And this is where the addiction comes from, right? It becomes a new source of your, right? Your, your, your mental and psychological programming. And if you detach from it for an extended period of time, it, it, it's, it's a perishable skill, right? It's a perishable relationship. So it's one that we want to keep close to heart at all times and the regular practice will constantly reinforce that.

• 40:12Lewis Howes?

  What are the principles of jiu jitsu that teach an individual how to gain more confidence and how to understand? And really know the psychology of any human being they interact with?

• 40:25Speaker 01

  Great question. There isn't a principle that teaches confidence. There is an art that when practiced. Unavoidably builds confidence in the practitioner. We have a student, Maximo, a young kid, um, maybe 10 years old, has been bullied for three years now. Incessant bullying, it's affecting the parents, it's affecting the family. They've talked to the school, they've talked to the principals, they're on the brink of pulling this kid out of school. And then we came into the summer break right now, so it's a little breather, but they're literally on the fence. And they came in to Gracie University. And the mom is, you know, again, what do we do? But they saw video online of a transformation for a bullying victim that we did, where we flew a kid from Indiana and we transformed him in one week.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  After getting pummeled on a video in the locker bay, we transformed this young man named Austin, went home, never had problems with bullying again, completely transformed his life, became a US Marine, absolute stud. Wow. And his whole life changed at Gracie University. So anyways, they saw that video, they showed Maximo and he liked the video and he, I wanna go, I wanna do this. So he came to class, starts doing jutsu with us. It's been just the summer right now, he has two stripes on his white belt, which is like 20 classes. So very new. He was at Junior Guards, which is a lifeguard training program, he's a very good swimmer. And a friend, him and Ozzy, his friend were hanging out. And another boy came over and was bullying, um, um, Maximo. So was being quite aggressive with him, making inappropriate jokes and really making fun of him.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  And then Ozzy stands up and says, hey man, leave him alone. Kind of just steps in and intervenes there. And then the bully turns and starts attacking Ozzy. Hmm. Put physically and verbally. And then this is Maximo's moment of truth. Oh wow. Cause he never asserted himself ever against this opposition, against this type of aggression. So he stands up, he puts himself between Ozzy and the bully and says, hey, if you're messing with him, you're messing with me.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Guy throws his hands up, mumbles something, turns and walks off. Wow. For the first time in his life, Maximo just learned that on the other side of setting a boundary.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  With powerful voice, powerful eyes and powerful posture is freedom. He's free. He's free. The mom came in, couldn't believe it. Henner, we celebrated this unbelievable, everything you guys said worked exactly as we had mentioned. But again, the only way he was able to set this boundary was because he had spent 20 hours building the skills to feel like, no, if you want to get down, we get down. So the jiu jitsu that he learned, learning how to fight prevented him from having to fight. And if he ever has to get down, he's ready. He knows that, which is why he can set that boundary.

• 43:12Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you ever face a battle or a war in your own mind? Or do you feel like you know, whenever there's an adversity, you have a sense of peace and confidence that you'll be able to figure it out because you've just been through adversity so much? Or do you have anxiety and stress?

• 43:28Speaker 01

  No, I don't. There are stressful moments, right? When it all comes at the same time, you go, okay, the stress is having multiple opportunities sometimes, but positive opportunities and not knowing where to shuffle and spend your time from a leader of multiple businesses. So I deal with, like everyone, I just have a lot going on.

• 43:43Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  And I gotta choose. So that's kind of like a eustress, right? Versus the distress, right? Which is the one that you're kind of overwhelmed by in a negative way. But in terms of like what's going through my head throughout this process, it always is a faith, a trust.

• 43:59Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  That, hey, no, no, no, I've been in way worse in fights against guys that are 300 pounds.

• 44:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, upside down on your head.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  Headlock smashing, guy on top of me, sweating on me and I'm down there. And all I'm thinking is, oh, he makes one mistake, I'm coming out and I'm going to get him on the chokehold on the way out.

• 44:14Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  No prob, I've been here before. So in life, when it's all coming at you, all I'm saying is, this is the bottom of the mount. It's okay. Bottom of the mount is not the best place to be in a fight, but because of jiu jitsu, it's also not the worst. And when the opportunity presents itself, the right move at the wrong time is the wrong move. Timing is everything. This is the clock principle.

• 44:35Lewis Howes?

  Say it again?

• 44:36Speaker 01

  The right move at the wrong time is the wrong move. So if I can't escape right now, that's okay. Because, right, it's going to shift. The opportunity will present itself and the circumstances will change. And when they change. My opportunity will present itself. I literally live that every single day in jujitsu. When things are not favorable, they will become favorable. You just must be patient and you just must wait for the opportunity. If it's not an actionable opportunity available to you right now, it will be there. So in life, when it feels like it's all coming from every angle, I just sometimes would just breathe. Say, okay, right now, what am I going to focus my energy on? I might be neglecting 20 other things in my life, but I'm going to do this right now. So this is what I choose and I commit to this. This is the technique I'm going to apply right now.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  If it pans out, great. If halfway through my application of this life technique, it doesn't pan out, I will pivot principle. Principle 21.

• 45:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  And off we go. And that's okay. And I'll pivot then. But I'm not going to stress now about whether or not this is going to pan out fully, because I know when the circumstances change, I am also capable of change in that moment.

• 45:40Lewis Howes?

  Wow. You know, you've got 32 principles that you've learned from your family history, from the martial arts history in jujitsu. And there's five that I wanted to cover today.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's talk about some.

• 45:54Lewis Howes?

  If we, you know, from the book, there's five that I think if people started to tap into and started to say, how can I apply this to my life right now? What are a few key principles to give me more confidence, to give me more poise, to give me more focus, more commitment in my life?

• 46:11Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 46:12Lewis Howes?

  To be able to handle adversity, what would these few be? And there's one called the clock principle.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  I want to get into it.

• 46:18Lewis Howes?

  I mentioned this before already, that recognizing that the right move at the wrong time is the wrong move. Can you give me one example of what that is and how we can apply this to our life?

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Sure. So there are 32 principles we've identified. Clock principle being one critical, important in terms of timing, right? Timing in a fight, as you would imagine, it's everything.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  That spills over into our personal and professional lives as well. I had a situation where one time a psychologist who trained with us, a student of ours, a female psychologist, recommended a student to us. She said, "Herner, I have a student. His name is Shane, young man, teenager, sixteen years old, who suffers from the most severe case of social anxiety that I've ever seen as a doctor. He vomits profusely in going into any situation where there's any type of social aspect of it. And I think Jitsu would be great for him, build his confidence. I said, "Great, bring him in Thursday." Talked to his mom. We scheduled for Thursday. I scheduled for a time where there was no one in the building, so he would be, you know, no trouble stepping in and getting a tour. Mom calls me at four oh five, four ten, five minutes after we're supposed to start the class. And says, "Herner, sorry, we're not gonna make it." I said, "What do you mean? Where are you?"

• 47:23Speaker 01

  She said, "I'm outside in the parking lot, but we're not coming in." He's terrified. He can't do it. Wow. I said, "Hold on, you're outside my building right now?" She said, "Yeah, that's me right there." I said, "Hold on, can I come say hi?" Yes. I walk out. I get to the car. As I approach the car on the passenger side, it's parked on the streets, the curb. I hear the most intense gut cry I've ever heard. Screaming, crying. Yeah, yeah. Breathing, but crying, forcing it out. And I look at the mom and I say, "I'm completely shocked in this moment. I've never experienced this before." Wow. I've never dealt with extreme social anxiety like this. And I'm looking at the, the, the mother standing outside the car on the passenger side to greet me. I don't know what to do. This is a situation, you have to understand, Louis.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  When you put in Jitsu context, I'm on the bottom of a trapping bad situation and I don't have the technique. I don't have the technique. You don't have the skills or the tools. I don't know the move, but I have the principles. So in this moment, full trust that if I commit to the process, the principles will set me free. So in this moment, I see her and I said, "Look, can I go in the car?" She says, "Yeah, of course." So I go to the passenger side. I open the door. I walk, I sit in the chair, backseat, passenger side. He's over here. I'm the, sorry, passenger side. I'm on the driver's side. And he doubled over crying like this. And I'm just sitting, watching him in the backseat here. Loud. Twenty minutes. I don't say a word. Holy cow. Depletion principle.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Sometimes the best way to win is just to avoid losing. Let them deplete themselves. Their energy. Yes, you let them go. Imagine if I would have felt I had to hurry this up and get him in there. Never would have worked. Right. So I trusted in this moment as I do every day in jujitsu. Wait, deplete, the time will present itself. So I'm sitting 20 minutes later. He sits up, ran out of steam.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  And then I, I'm here. What's up, buddy? I said, hey, bro. What do you like to do for fun?

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Redirection principle.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Video games. I said, tell me more. 15 minutes, we're talking about video games. I know nothing about, I've got time for video games. I don't play video games. I have no idea what he's talking about. Just asking questions about video games. He's telling me his whole life about video games. Loves them. He's all animated like he's driving. Now we're connecting. Boom.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Once I felt that we were here, connection principle, principle one. There was a real connection in that car. We were now socially connecting about video games, something he loved. That I redirected him towards. I said, hey, Shane. Thanks for coming in. I said, we have a really nice facility and I'd love to give you a tour if you'll let me. Beautiful. Just show you around.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  What do you think? He will like this. Okay. That's cool. Said, let's go. We get out of the car. We walk. We go in. I tour the museum, show some artifacts. I walk to the building. In my mind, at this point, all I'm thinking is. He cannot leave this building without doing jujitsu today. Wow. I'm telling you, I'm sweating bullets inside. How do I get it? I gotta get him on the mat. I gotta get him to do jujitsu. One thing. But if I say, hey dude, you wanna learn jujitsu? He's running to the car, throwing up on the way I can imagine, right? So like, this is a high. Stress, we'll call it, an intense encounter where I'm on the fly. Pulling from my life of jujitsu on the mats.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  Principles to try to get this accomplished, what I'm aiming to do for this kid, because if he leaves without doing jujitsu today, he's not coming back. Never. We're gonna miss our window. So I walk in the locker room. I show him our beautiful locker rooms, like a, like a. Spa, beautiful school. Go outside, we're passing by the private training room. It's a room about this big, matted from wall to wall, mats on the floor. I open the door. I step in. Clock principle, the right move at the right time. I step on the mats with my feet, bare feet. And I say, hey Shane, these mats are really, really soft. You should feel them. Take off your shoes and check this out. He complies. Wow. He walks in, steps on. I'm like, how about that? He's like, yeah, it's really soft. I'm like, cool. Mom, come on in. Shut the door. Got him.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Wow. I say, Mom, have a seat. Shane, lay down in the middle, right here. The exact same technique I showed you today. I mounted on him. We're friends now, we're connected. Yeah, yeah. And I'm getting, I'm getting very uncomfortable because I'm going to save this kid's life. That's my mindset. There's nothing that I wasn't willing to do

• 51:55Speaker 01

  in order to empower and free him from the condition that he's suffering from. Do you understand? Like, I'll be uncomfortable to save him. So I mount on him, which was, again, I don't know what he's going to react. And he's going to crick and scream. I don't know. So I mount on him with the biggest smile on my face and all the love in my heart. And I say, Shane, what would you do if someone was on top? He'd be like, let's smile, love. He was like, I'll push you off. I'm like, give it a go. Ten, nine, eight, seven, he's trying hard. I'm watching his senses the whole time, verifying that he's, I'm connecting here, I'm making sure he's okay. He's fine. Fine, like, hang it out. Okay, cool, let's switch roles. I toss him off in one second with the trap and roll. You know the move. Click, he's like, oh man, do it again. I do it again. He can't believe it. I show him second move, third move, fourth move, fifth move. An hour later. We're having the best time, he's doing jujitsu. I look over to the corner. His mom is crying quietly.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Wow. Tears just falling. It's amazing. Doesn't say a word, the whole class. And I'm like, I could not believe it. I get up, we shake hands. Hey, let's see you guys on Tuesday, right? The next class. Next class, it only takes him 15 minutes to get out of the car. Hmm. The third class, he comes back half the time. He goes into the locker room, he throws up, comes out, ready to rock. Wow. We're getting in there. I eventually transitioned him to another one of our certified instructors who guides him for the next several months. He goes into group classes now with other people practicing. He eventually earns his blue belt in jujitsu. Wow. Graduates high school, goes to college, lives a normal life, has regular friendships and is now having a great life. Wow.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  The doctor has said, Henry, I've never seen this type of turnaround for this particular. Condition, this, this level of social anxiety, I've never seen it. This is incredible. Congratulations and thank you. And she's sent us so many other students since then.

• 53:36Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Then they start in private classes, then we gradually introduce them. So this is depletion. This is redirection principle, all in the book. This is connection principle, using every resource we have to connect with them in a way that's meaningful for them.

• 53:49Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  This is the clock principle above all, I believe. Because for me to be in there, not sure what I was gonna do with this kid, and then the moment I was on the mat saying, hey, get off your shoes, come feel this. The right move at the right time will set you free. And that's what happened with Shane.

• 54:04Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, that's a beautiful story.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  On this fateful morning.

• 54:06Lewis Howes?

  I love that story, man, that's beautiful. Again, the thirty-two principles, this is about harnessing the power of jujitsu to succeed in business, relationships and life. Make sure you guys get this by Henry Gracie, it's an awesome book. And an awesome introduction to just more philosophies about jujitsu and how you can apply them to your life. Um, the last one I want to talk about, again, there's thirty-two of them, we're only going to talk about a few today, but the last one is really the grand master principle.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 54:33Lewis Howes?

  Now, what is the grand master principle? And what does it take for anyone to be a grand master of their own life?

• 54:41Speaker 01

  So let me say this, as I was developing the curriculum of the thirty-two principles uh, with my brother, we got to the point where we hadn't identified, because we did not invent principles, right? Principles, gravity always existed.

• 54:54Lewis Howes?

  You revealed them.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  We revealed them and we classified them and we named them and then we put them into a curriculum. So as we're going through this rigorous process of identifying these principles over an extended period of time and trying to create a, a cohesive curriculum surrounding them, we got to thirty-one. And then I ran out.

• 55:11Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  And I'm thinking to myself, we can't end with thirty-one, it's not an even number, eight times four is thirty-two. I want this to be a little more, right? Encapsulated in a, I want to be more buttoned up with this, there needs to be one more. And I'm thinking, and literally I'm running dry, I'm telling you, this is like lots of time spent identifying these thirty-one, you can imagine, and just really identifying them and defining them. And then I'm like, man, I don't know what I'm gonna do for thirty-two? And I'm in the shower, literally, and then it freaking hit me.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  The final principle must be the principle of applying all the principles and constantly evolving their application in your own life. It's the principle of all the principles. Yes. And I said, well, then that sounds awesome. What are we gonna call it? Let's name it after my grandfather, the Grand Master Principle, right? So we just gave it that name. This one, we kind of pulled up and pulled out and said, this is what it's gonna be. So what it is, is this idea that my grandfather, when he learned as a young boy, as I gave you the introduction and the story of his beginning, my grandfather, after he started modifying these techniques as a young teenager, and becoming the kind of the champion of the family, he didn't have a teacher, right?

• 56:30Speaker 01

  There was no instruct- when he was 19, 20, he was on his own now. He was evolving the art, but he was his own teacher. Yes, wow. But here's the problem for most people. They don't give themselves permission to be their own teacher. They're always waiting for someone to guide, someone to tell, someone to instruct. And what I've learned through jiu-jitsu, it was most pronounced when I got my black belt. I'd been training for 19 years, my whole life, right? At 19 years old, my grandfather awards me my black belt. And it was such a surreal moment because at that moment, I said, wow, now I've achieved the belt that I've always dreamt of. And all my legendary uncles are, and my dad, and all the heroes of this family, world famous fighters, I now have the same belt as them. It's black.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  But I feel like there's still so much more to go.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  And then I realized in time thereafter that no one's gonna give me all the answers. I must become my own teacher to grow into the master that I am meant to be. Because by being a black belt and knowing that I didn't have all the answers yet, then it was like, holy cow, I thought when I got my black belt, I would be done, close the book, my movie's over. I have all the moves and I, I'm set. It wasn't the case. I would go so far to say- That's just beginning. Just the beginning. True, the black belt is the white belt who never quit. There's all these sayings, but really, the black belt is when it really does just begin because now you have a grip on the art and the amount of innovation. I would say that I've invented more techniques. And done more and learned more and grown more from black belt till now than I did from white to black belt.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Wow. In terms of how much new jujitsu exists in my life. So there's so much to learn, there's so much to invent, it's endless. So that being said, the black belt was permission to become my own teacher. So the Grand Master Principle, as we end the book, is my very deliberate attempt to empower every reader to become their own teacher, right? I've given you our operating system in a book. I've given you 32 videos to teach you the physical application of these techniques, so that they're contextually relevant discussions when we enter the pages of the chapter and we start talking about life and business application.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  I've set the framework for you to absorb all of these principles and make the Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt's operating system your own. Whether you've ever done Jiu-Jitsu or not, doesn't matter. You're going to be able to essentially download, right? Through your own study of this book, our operating system. You get to skip the line, so to speak. Now, at the end of all this, I have two requests in the Grand Master Chapter. Number one,

• 59:10Speaker 01

  trust yourself enough with the material that I've provided to be your own teacher, to make the adjustments on the fly, to create techniques in the middle of nowhere. Like I said, I'm in a situation with Shane that I don't have a move. I've never been there before. But because I had these principles, guess what? The moves, it revealed themselves to me. But I'll tell you this right now. No technique ever revealed itself to me that I didn't first believe was possible. Mm-hmm. Right? If I didn't believe that Shane was a solvable puzzle, I wouldn't have entered the car to begin with. Right. And that's what most people are missing. The belief that the answer is out there. The belief that if they seek, they shall find, whether it be through a book, through a mentor, through a practice of a martial art, through...

• 59:55Speaker 01

  The answers are out there. Whatever you're struggling with, someone has dealt with it before. Now, you can pursue that information, Reconnaissance Principle, and gather that information, or you can trust that it exists, put yourself in the trenches, and let yourself reveal the answer on your own. That's another viable option. But you need to have an operating system that is designed for dealing with adversity. And that's what I think this book does above everything else. The second request, as I wrap up the book... Is please give Jiu Jitsu a try. Because of course, as I said in the very beginning, my number one problem, as I said in the beginning, 99.9% of people know Jiu Jitsu, but have never given it a try.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna rest until all of them have given it a try. And if I don't succeed, I'll die trying. That's my legacy. That's what I want to do here. Right? All of the schools, hundreds of schools we have around the world, a website, gracieuniversity.com, specifically for people who don't have a school near them, they can learn online from home. And every one of our lessons is in order, so you can actually learn all the techniques. And actually, once you learn the material, you can go to one of the schools and test for a belt promotion, because all of it's there, what you need for each of the milestones as you're climbing through this journey. So this website was done with this mindset. If you're too scared to go to a school, log on to gracieuniversity.com, watch the first three, four, five lessons for free. And then once you see them and you go, holy cow, I could do this.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Then you go find a school and then you go train somewhere and you continue the journey. So my goal is to create the avenues through which anyone can be introduced to Jiu Jitsu. If they have an internet connection or a school near them, then there's no excuse. Go give Jiu Jitsu a try. Now, like I said, you have to be very selective with who you let teach you in the beginning, because injuries are so common.

• 1:01:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Um, and schools where, and the number one criteria that I will just say, is if they have a school where beginners, brand new students are sparring with other beginners, it's a disaster waiting to happen, because I don't know enough to keep myself safe, which means I panic, which means I'm not keeping you safe. So we're both liabilities to each other. And sadly, 98, 99% of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu schools are having beginners spar within a few weeks, if not on the first day. So it's, it's, it's quite a disaster. So for our schools, we don't do that. You're gonna be a beginner for several months. You're gonna be learning all the mechanics of how to move safely, of how to do joint locks, of where you're safe, where you're not. So that when you eventually spar at a higher level, you can do so without hurting yourself or someone else. So that's my, like, my cautionary tale.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  But like I said, I want everyone who reads this book, by the time they're done, to say, holy cow, I've got the operating system. Let me go try the art that everyone, Mark Zuckerberg included, is falling in love with. And now, the great Lewis of School of Greatness.

• 1:02:38Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna do it also, man. Next week.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  There you go. So all it took was your first class being done right. And you're like, okay, welcome to Jiu Jitsu. You're, you're okay. You're on the other side now, and that's how I believe in this, is there's an entire population of the world, but they're split into two groups. People who've done jujitsu and people who don't. And the people who don't can be karate, it can be taekwondo, it can be this. And they can even be other grappling arts. Jitsu is the one. And it's not the one, not that there aren't other arts of other grappling arts that are easy. You might have someone that's very proficient and can defeat someone who does jujitsu. But back to square one, jujitsu, the reason jujitsu is the best is because it can do the most

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  for the people with the least physical attributes in the least amount of time. There's no other art that can do more for someone with less than jujitsu. Quote me on that.

• 1:03:30Lewis Howes?

  I got it, man. Thirty-two Principles, harnessing the power of jujitsu to succeed in business, relationships, and life. Make sure you guys get a few copies. We'll have all this stuff linked up as well. I got two final questions for you.

• 1:03:46Lewis Howes?

  But before I ask those questions, Henner, I appreciate you for demonstrating. And again, we'll link up the video where Henner just destroys me. And shows me how incompetent I am as a human being.

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Don't make it sound so bad, bro. Hold on, but on the other side of that, there was a breakthrough. There was a moment of, imagine if you learned this.

• 1:04:03Lewis Howes?

  Of course, no.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  Just make sure you tell them that too, though.

• 1:04:05Lewis Howes?

  It's smart, though, because I was like, how do I defend this? Well, come back for Nick class.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  I got you.

• 1:04:08Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, hook.

• 1:04:11Lewis Howes?

  But I would acknowledge you for your commitment and your passion to bring this art and this, really these strategies to the world. You know, I don't know if I've had someone this passionate on the show in probably 10 years. About what they do.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  About the mission, about the mission. Listen, I was born into this family. I didn't have a choice to start learning. I tried to quit at least 17 times when I was 11, easily. Too close, you know what I'm saying? Too close. I don't want to go, dad, I don't want... Okay, you're staying home until I get back in seven hours. Okay, I'll go. Go to class and you do it, you rough it out and you make it happen. But the point is, I didn't have a choice to be born into this family. I started learning as a kid. I tried to quit when I was 11, 12. I started teaching at 13 years old. Once I saw from my first student of my life, Robert Mendoza Jr., a five-year-old boy who was getting bullied. Once I saved him, changed his life forever. His dad, "Henner, I can't thank you, I'm 13 years old."

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  And the dad is thanking me like I'm like, you know, this holy figure. And I'm like, wow, that's pretty addicting. It's pretty addicting to be the, the deliverer of freedom, of confidence, of truth, jujitsu truth. And people coming to you with all kinds of problems and jujitsu being such a massive solution on the mat and off the mat.

• 1:05:32Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  It's such a unique existence. So I became addicted to the giving aspect because let's be honest, who are the happiest people you know? The ones who give the most.

• 1:05:40Lewis Howes?

  The ones who are in service too.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  Yes. So I got addicted to the service and the art, right? Well, I'm in high school and some guy wants to tussle with me. And I'm like, line him up and I tap out the entire volleyball team, 13 guys on wood floor, hardwood. Everyone gets tapped out back to back.

• 1:05:55Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  And one day at volleyball practice when the coach was late for practice, one guy wants to wrestle with me, I tap him out. Another guy puts his hand up, everyone taps out and then they go tell everyone in the whole school. And I'm like, wow, this is pretty cool to have a superpower. So the point is going through high school was jujitsu. It's a different species, a different existence. So all of these, I became addicted in so many different ways. And then when I started seeing how these jujitsu principles started to serve me entrepreneurially.

• 1:06:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Right? As a growing jujitsu business and then many other businesses, quick flip, sleeperhold.com, the travel pillow that I invented. You start to get addicted to the fact that, wow, if I apply jujitsu, not just on the mat, but I apply it everywhere. This is crazy. So now it's done so much for me, both as a practitioner, as a disciple of the art and as a deliverer, a messenger of the art, that all I think is, man, every single person that I touch and I infect with jujitsu and I bring into jujitsu, their life will forever change because of my enthusiasm, right? The energy or what the world calls the energy.

• 1:06:59Lewis Howes?

  The energy. Where do you think you'd be if you were just, you know, not just, but if you went through school as maybe an elite athlete in volleyball or swimming or some other sport and you never did martial arts? Where do you think you'd be now if you never did martial arts?

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Bro, that's like asking to strip the hydrogen away from H2O. You just can't. There's no water without hydrogen. Do you understand? There's no Henner without jujitsu. It doesn't exist. I didn't have a choice. And I'm glad I did not.

• 1:07:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  Because everything good in my life today, I attribute to jujitsu and these principles and their impact, personally and professionally. So you can't separate what is actually inseparable. It fundamentally becomes something different.

• 1:07:38Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  So then we're talking about a different movie, a different book, a different indie. I don't even care to know that person. I don't even care to know the Henner without jujitsu because it's just another human being. And I could have excelled in many other categories. Great. As you've done as well. But you can't even call him Henner with an R, pronounced with an H. You couldn't even do that. Cause he's not a member of the Gracie family. He's not got this crazy name pronunciation. Everything falls apart without jujitsu, bro.

• 1:08:03Lewis Howes?

  Uh, I gotta get more of this energy in my life, you know, Sam.

• 1:08:07Lewis Howes?

  This is the question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. You live for as long as you want to live in this life. And you get to accomplish and create and experience all the beautiful things that you want. But for whatever reason, it's the last day for you in this life. Be 100, 200 years away, whatever it is. And you've got to take all of your messages with you. This book is gone. This interview is gone. Every training program you've ever created, video content, gone. No one has access to you anymore. Except for three final truths that you get to share with the world. This is all they remember. What would those lessons be, or those three truths be? If that's all people have.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  Help enough people get what they want and you can have anything you want. Would be one.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  A second truth.

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  Whoever manages the distance manages the damage.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  And the third truth would be, when we talk about advice.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  Love and trust fully.

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  Period.

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  Because I think that you've never lived life. You've never lived life fully unless you've loved fully and trusted fully. I know many very successful people

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  who have no love in their hearts and no trust in their hearts. And it doesn't matter what you reach, you're alone.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  And what value is a life of 200 years or less or more if you're alone? So anytime you have on this earth, do it loving fully and trusting fully. And those closest to you, even if it means you get hurt.

• 1:09:58Lewis Howes?

  Well, man, that's true.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  You feel me? Even if it your risk of getting hurt, that's the definition of courage. Knowing that things might not pan out, but you do it anyways.

• 1:10:06Lewis Howes?

  Yes. Those are great truths, man. Final question for you. What's your definition of greatness?

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  The progressive realization of a worthy ideal,

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  which I got from someone. Was it Jim Rohn or Zig Ziglar? Right? The definition of greatness, the definition of success, the definition, whatever you set your mind to do, that is meaningful for you. If it's shared jujitsu with the world, here we are, I'm doing my thing. If it's shared messages of greatness with the world, you're, this is greatness. If it's be a housewife and a mom, because that's what you dreamt of, and that's what you set out to do, that's greatness, right? So it's not a, there's no categorical right and wrong. It's you are pursuing the path that you set for yourself because you determined that that was the most meaningful existence for yourself. And if you're on that path, that's greatness.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  The problem is, we live in a day and age where how many people are on a path that they just fell into to pay this, to do this, to do that? You know, I gotta pay bills, so I'm doing a job that I hate, spending eight, 10 hours a day doing something I hate. And then after work, spending an hour going and doing, you know, pickleball or handball or football or jujitsu an hour or two a week? My question is, in that situation, what are you doing to turn your passion into your profession? What deliberate steps are you taking so you can shift the balance? Right? From a 80 20? To that 20% becoming the new 80 and maybe there's still some things you have to do that

• 1:11:41Speaker 01

  you don't wake up and are excited to do every single day, but the majority of your existence is in a pillar of what you determined to be greatness for yourself.

• 1:11:51Lewis Howes?

  I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your

• 1:12:35Lewis Howes?

  inbox over at greatness.com/newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.