MFM Minisode 450

This week’s hometowns include a trash uncle robbery and a Colin Farrell spotting. For our sources, please visit https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/episodes. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Head to social media to share your favorite moments from this episode. Instagram: instagram.com/myfavoritemurder http://instagram.com/myfavoritemurder Facebook: facebook.com/myfavoritemurder http://facebook.com/myfavoritemurder TikTok: tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder http://tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder Watch full episodes of My Favorite Murder on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@my_favorite_murder Send your hometown stories to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. Join the Fan Cult to access ad-free episodes of My Favorite Murder. Members also receive merch store discounts, exclusive audio and video content and more! Visit www.fancult.supercast.com http://www.fancult.supercast.com/ to join. Shop for My Favorite Murder and other Exactly Right merchandise here: www.exactlyrightstore.com http://www.exactlyrightstore.com/. Rate, review and follow My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Karen Kilgariff?

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  In New Orleans, truckers kept getting sideswiped the exact same way. When a man is found murdered under questionable circumstances related to these accidents, the rubber hits the road. And what the feds uncover is a complex scheme of staged wrecks, financial fraud, and a pair of conspiring lovers behind it. This is a story about fake accidents that led to real consequences. Listen to Over My Dead Body: Operation Sideswipe wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• 0:42Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. Sonny's life is pretty great until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his, with one exception: his mom.

• 0:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Carney Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 1:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series, Phony.

• 1:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Goodbye.

• 1:10Speaker 03

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• 1:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello. And welcome. To my favorite murder. The minisode. There you go. Emails for you. Bye you. Bye. Bye you. Go first. I demand you go first. I shall. With all your paperwork. Okay. The subject line of this email is hometown, the trash adult who took me on a drug run. Okay. You know, I'm going to pick one of those. Of course. These are my people. Hi Karen in Georgia. I'm Lithuanian, so I don't know how to say all these sweet things people usually write at the beginning of these emails. But just know I love you both loads and now let's get into it. Lithuanian. I know, right? Because I've got a prime trash adult story for you. So, period. Picture six-year-old me, six, bored out of my tiny mind in the dead heat

• 2:42Karen Kilgariff?

  of a small Lithuanian village summer. You've been there a thousand times before. Picturing it. No friends around, no TV, no entertainment, except for the occasional chicken.

• 2:55Karen Kilgariff?

  That's great. Yeah, that's tough. I'm just chilling in the dust on the side of the road like a little feral villager when along comes her, our neighborhood's very own spiritual healer slash drug dealer slash disaster on two legs. Yes. She was known for selling quote unquote, "natural medicine," which is adorable because in hindsight, I'm 99% sure she was slinging low-grade narcotics. She tells me she's heading to the far side of the village to do some business and asks if I want to come with her. All caps. And I said yes. Hell, yeah. Because of course I did. What else was I doing? I had no sense of danger and way too much free time. So off I go, six-year-old assistant to a probable drug mule, skipping through the village like we're in a whimsical Eastern European comedy.

• 3:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Hours pass. She does her house calls and I assist her as the unpaid intern. I provide, I don't know, vibes, maybe an alibi?

• 3:50Karen Kilgariff?

  And then, just as we're finally heading back, I hear it. My name screamed from every direction. Oh, no. Like a haunted megaphone.

• 4:02Karen Kilgariff?

  And that's when I knew I had fucked up. Turns out I'd been gone long enough for my grandma to declare a full-blown code red. But did anyone call the police? Of course not. That would have been too logical. Snitching. No one snitches. No way. Instead, the entire able-bodied male population of the village was mobilized. Forests were scoured, lakes were dove into. Holy shit. Men, and this is in all caps, men actually dove into the water, looking for my tiny drowned body. Then it says, fun side note, I was the kind of six-year-old who was allowed to go swimming alone. So, like, fair. It says, by the time I casually strolled home, my grandma was halfway through a heart attack. They called an ambulance, but still not the police.

• 4:46Karen Kilgariff?

  So she literally was halfway through a heart attack. Oh, oh, literally. They called an ambulance for the grandma? For the grandma, but they didn't call the police. My mom was on the verge of an emotional implosion, and the lake divers returned looking like war survivors. I fully expected to be grounded until I turned 30. My mother, oh, she handled it with grace, which is to say, she tried to rip out the trash adult's hair with her bare hands while screaming so loudly, I'm pretty sure the storks migrated early that year. Honestly iconic. Holy shit. Meanwhile, I plopped myself on the couch and was handed dessert. Yes. Because they thought she was gone. Yeah. Because apparently, when a child disappears for hours with a stranger, the appropriate reward is pudding. And the best part?

• 5:29Karen Kilgariff?

  I didn't learn my lesson. Not even a little. Two weeks later, all caps, same woman, same scenario, same kid, me. And this time, she didn't even bother pretending to ask permission. She just took me under her arm and off we went on another totally illegal adventure. Oh. She had the perfect cover, a six-year-old. Yeah. She just looks like a kindly aunt. Yeah, I'm an auntie. Yeah. Not a drug mule. Stay sexy and seriously don't take someone else's kid on your rural drug errands. Laura from Lithuania, where the police don't get called when a child vanishes for hours, but a mob of men will absolutely dive into freezing lakes without hesitation. What a perfect picture of a time and place, Laura. You did, that was excellent. It's everything we need to know about Lithuania.

• 6:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Everything. Yeah. That was amazing. You don't call the cops, men will.

• 6:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Do what it takes. And it reminds me like when you were little and you did something all the time and then one time you did it and it wasn't okay. Yes. And then you got in trouble for it, but it had never not been okay for you to stay out late or to do any like to play with this or that. And then suddenly your mom decides that you're not supposed to do that and you're in trouble. Yeah, there's a rule that you were not told that somehow comes up and it's like, oh, we weren't paying attention before that you've been doing this the whole time. This is what my anxiety is based on is that I'm going to get in trouble for doing something I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do. Yeah, that sticks. Yeah. Okay. My trash uncle story. Great. Two to three minute read. Thank you. Thank you. Hey friends, longtime listener and have wanted to send this story in for a long while now and finally got the guts to do it. So let's get started.

• 7:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Long story short, my uncle ended up being a part of a bank robbery. Hey. That's a long story short. He and a few other guys robbed a CCU bank and thought they could get away with it. Spoiler alert, they ended up getting caught. But let me tell you how my uncle got caught. So me, five years old at the time, my mom, dad and uncle were actually on the way to turn him in, a decision he made. Okay. But ended up stopping at Walmart to get him some clothes for whenever he got out of prison.

• 7:30Georgia Hardstark?

  I don't know. That seems like you're doing it on purpose. Yeah. We're just like, can I just get a couple of things really quick? You have a few years to pick something probably. Yeah. You know? Now, this was years ago when Walmart still had banks in them. Oh. The security guard at the bank recognized my uncle immediately because his picture got sent to every bank in the area and before the guard could tackle him or confront him, my uncle grabbed me and held me as we walked out so the guard wouldn't touch him. Ah. Yes, my uncle used me as a shield when I was all caps five. Human shield, five year old. This is the aunt and uncle episode. Once we got in the car, we were heading to turn my uncle in, but since the security guard saw him, he notified the police and next thing I know, we're getting pulled over by at least 10 cops. Oh shit.

• 8:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Now, me being five years old, you know, that security guard was like so stoked to be the hero of the day. Yeah. So boring, his job. And then suddenly he sees a fucking bank robber. I have this to give. Yeah. Now, me being five years old, I thought that any of the times I would misbehave or it hit my older sister meant I was in big trouble because when the cop came up and stuck a gun into the front passenger side window yelling, everyone put your hands in the air, my hands immediately went up terrified that I was going to jail.

• 8:41Karen Kilgariff?

  These little hands in the back, kind of sliding up.

• 8:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Tiny little, oh, this is it. I knew it was coming.

• 8:47Karen Kilgariff?

  I shouldn't have bent a human shield that way.

• 8:49Georgia Hardstark?

  I shouldn't have hit my sister. She deserved it. I immediately started crying while watching my uncle get yanked out of the car and onto the ground, and for some reason, they did the same to my dad. Yeah, makes sense.

• 9:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 9:01Georgia Hardstark?

  I was just sitting in the back with my hands up, regretting all the times I didn't listen to my mom, and scared that the cops were there to take me to jail.

• 9:08Karen Kilgariff?

  The idea that they're just like, gun in the car.

• 9:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 9:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Scream, eh, whatever.

• 9:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Yep. I don't remember much after that, but I do remember my mom getting me into the back of a police car, trying to calm me down, and then the cop coming up and apologizing to me.

• 9:22Karen Kilgariff?

  You better.

• 9:22Georgia Hardstark?

  My uncle did go to jail and has served 16 years.

• 9:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow.

• 9:26Georgia Hardstark?

  That Walmart run could have waited.

• 9:28Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, also, just the bank, the idea of a bank robbery, it never works out.

• 9:35Georgia Hardstark?

  It's never going to work.

• 9:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Almost never.

• 9:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Scheduled to be released any day now. Wish me luck, smiley face. Also, fun fact, this bank robbery is known as the first one to occur in my hometown.

• 9:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow.

• 9:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Hope you all enjoyed this and got a good laugh at some of my trauma. Stay sexy and maybe don't use a five-year-old as protection.

• 9:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 9:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Haley.

• 9:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Haley, we respect your trauma.

• 9:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 9:56Karen Kilgariff?

  It's like, TV movie of the week trauma.

• 9:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 9:59Karen Kilgariff?

  And the fact that you shared it with us means, I think, that it might be a lowercase t-trauma for you at this point, maybe?

• 10:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Being able to process it?

• 10:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Don't share your like uppercase T-trauma until it's lowercase t-trauma.

• 10:12Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, just that, it feels like, as awful as that would be.

• 10:17Georgia Hardstark?

  It's a great story.

• 10:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Maybe she can laugh at it now.

• 10:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 10:19Karen Kilgariff?

  We definitely can.

• 10:21Georgia Hardstark?

  We just did.

• 10:21Karen Kilgariff?

  But we don't want to, if we shouldn't.

• 10:24Georgia Hardstark?

  So insane.

• 10:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Also, just if you're gonna go drop someone off at prison, maybe get a babysitter.

• 10:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Get a babysitter?

• 10:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Get a babysitter.

• 10:32Georgia Hardstark?

  That's a great idea.

• 10:35Karen Kilgariff?

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• 11:17Karen Kilgariff?

  use offer code MURDER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Goodbye. You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.

• 11:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.

• 11:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals, powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt, it's designed to help you relax and get in the right state of mind for a good night's rest.

• 11:38Georgia Hardstark?

  If you need a reset after a crazy day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine. It's an effortless way to get a boost of topical magnesium that can help you relax your body and mind before bedtime.

• 11:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast-drying formula.

• 11:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed.

• 11:57Karen Kilgariff?

  I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just sprayed on your feet and suddenly you're asleep. And the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy.

• 12:12Georgia Hardstark?

  And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want?

• 12:15Karen Kilgariff?

  How dare you call my feet stinky?

• 12:18Georgia Hardstark?

  For wellness you can feel, find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle. Goodbye. The Hulu original series, Phony, is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

• 12:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great. Until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception: his mom.

• 12:37Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives. But for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 12:42Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 12:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head, or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 12:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 13:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series, Phony.

• 13:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 13:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 13:10Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm not going to read you the subject line of this. It says, "Hi Karen and Georgia, I've been listening to you guys since 2018. I was 16."

• 13:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 13:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Welcome. Sophomores, welcome, always. "When my sister introduced me to you as a repayment, I got her tickets to the MFM live tour in Austin this September." Yes. "You guys are great and can always keep me entertained when driving or folding laundry."

• 13:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Hey, hey, that's us, baby.

• 13:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Yay. Anyway, let's get into my hometown's pedophile story. "I attended Lake Travis High School, which is about a 30-minute drive from downtown Austin, Texas. This meant our school was very large. I'm talking about each graduating class of 800 to 900 people per year."

• 13:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 13:51Karen Kilgariff?

  That's wild. "When I was a freshman, around 15 years old, my friends and I would sneak out and get into the normal teenage trouble, drinking, smoking, vaping. Alcohol is hard to get as a 15-year-old, obviously. So when a man who was around 30 years old started adding us kids on Snapchat under the name TheLauder and selling bottles of alcohol to be delivered, we were ecstatic."

• 14:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my. This is what every parent warns every kid about, and they don't listen.

• 14:19Karen Kilgariff?

  No, because as a teen who's like, "I just want to party."

• 14:23Georgia Hardstark?

  And I'm invincible.

• 14:24Karen Kilgariff?

  And I don't know what the fuck is going on in the world, or what the possibilities are. It's like, "TheLauder wants to help us."

• 14:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 14:31Karen Kilgariff?

  "TheLauder would charge outrageous prices for handles of alcohol, of course, the cheapest stuff he could find, and jewels, the vape pens." But, uh, name checking a vape pen. But as kids didn't care, we would all sneak out to a friend's house whose parents were chill and text the lotter what we wanted for the night.

• 14:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 14:50Karen Kilgariff?

  He would then drive to our address, which we gave him without a second thought, of course, and trade the cash for the goods. He got to know my friend group so well, he would even give us free fast food regularly.

• 15:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 15:03Karen Kilgariff?

  This man would drive around at night and give alcohol and vapes to hundreds of high schoolers.

• 15:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit.

• 15:09Karen Kilgariff?

  And since everyone used him, we didn't see the harm. That wasn't until one afternoon, when my friends and I were in school like normal and we got a text that the lotter, L-O-T-E-R, I guess like parking lot? I don't know.

• 15:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:22Karen Kilgariff?

  The lotter was arrested. Everyone who used him freaked out and deleted his contact, hoping the cops didn't see any of our information on his phone. We all thought he'd been caught for selling illegal products to underage minors. Nope. A few weeks later, we see a news article about the lotter's arrest, and it turns out that he was exchanging alcohol and vapes for sexual favors from 15 role boys and sending slash asking for sexual pictures. His case ended up being investigated by the FBI, and in 2021, he received 60 years in prison for sexual exploitation of a child, followed by 10 years of supervised release. And he was also ordered to pay restitution to his victims. I am now 22, and my friends and I occasionally recall how stupid we were to trust a random

• 16:06Karen Kilgariff?

  man who sells things to kids. Sorry, mom, that's stranger danger 101. I mean, you couldn't get more on the nose.

• 16:14Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm so relieved she hadn't started listening to My Favorite Murder yet, because we weren't doing our job if she was doing that.

• 16:21Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, yeah, that's right. We let her down if she thought that that was okay. Yeah, hopefully when she logged on and then was like, oh, they're yelling at me. What's this? What's this? I shouldn't follow a strange man around a parking lot?

• 16:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh god.

• 16:34Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it just says, can't wait to see you guys in September, stay sexy, and don't buy alcohol from strangers. Lily. Hey Lily, that's how bars work, so you better figure something else out.

• 16:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Every time we hear those stories, just my youth, my adolescence just flashes through my mind and I'm just can't believe I'm here.

• 16:51Karen Kilgariff?

  I know.

• 16:51Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm so happy about it.

• 16:53Karen Kilgariff?

  I've told you this story, but like, we found a guy in the Golden Eagle Shopping Center parking lot and kids from the other high school, like, were walking away and they're like, hey, those guys will buy up for you. And we walk up to the, it was a station wagon that was like, it looked like all the tires were flat, so it was way close to the ground.

• 17:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 17:12Karen Kilgariff?

  And it was two guys that looked like they were from Scum Bag Central Casting.

• 17:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 17:16Karen Kilgariff?

  And they were just like, yeah, what do you want? And we're like, can we get a strawberry wine cooler? It was like we were doing very specific orders and they just drove away with our money.

• 17:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, that same thing happened. He was like, okay, we're gonna put the bag next to the car and we're gonna drive away. So don't go to the bag and tell me drive away. So like, in case anyone's watching. Puts the bag down, drives away. And then I watched my friend walk up and kick the empty bag in anger. Stole like beer funds, we had all gone beer funds together.

• 17:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Hundreds of dollars.

• 17:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 17:42Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean.

• 17:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 17:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Buried Bones helped me find proof of my dad's lore.

• 17:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 17:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Buried Bones, a podcast on the Exactly Right Network.

• 17:50Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right.

• 17:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Paul Holes and Kate Winkler-Dawson. That's right. Oh, hey, all of our dads have told us when we were little that if they told us something, they would have to kill us. Right?

• 17:58Karen Kilgariff?

  Sure.

• 17:59Georgia Hardstark?

  That old joke. No, just me and my sisters. Well, from a young age, we all knew my dad, Ronald, had been in the Army, but definitely was not anymore. When we would ask what he did in the Army, he would always tell us, if I told you, I would have to kill you. Of course, as little kids, we thought it was hilarious. When we got older, he finally told us what really happened. Picture it. It's Chicago, 1968, and the Democratic Party Convention is causing a lot of chaos in the city. There were rallies and riots and a lot happening outside the convention that had been well documented over the years. Yes, it's a famous event. My dad, though, he was involved with monitoring what was happening inside the convention and the like. You may be asking yourself why that's a big deal.

• 18:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Well, the Army Security Agency was tapping the phones of delegates, candidates, and others in the streets, listening in for any information they could about plans for rioting, clandestine connections with communist affiliated groups, et cetera. They would have vans driving around the city, a lot of times in areas that was pretty much off limits to the military, that were decked out with radio receivers that monitored police radio, telephone communications, and shortwave radio transmissions.

• 19:05Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, it kind of sounds like a paranoid conspiracy theory, but it's like, we are being monitored at all times.

• 19:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, it's true. They were operating without the knowledge or assistance of the Chicago Police, FBI, or other law enforcement intelligence agencies. Just the Army going solo rogue. Finding out some stuff they need to find out. I guess so. All of this information came in but never went back out. If it had, they would have needed to answer questions on how they got that information. And what they were doing was definitely bordering on going against the Constitution. Hmm, sounds familiar. I don't think you could border going against the Constitution. Goes right up against it. Yeah. My dad voiced his concerns about this and other things he was privy to while working in Army Intelligence to his superiors and was basically told to sit down and shut up. That didn't sit right with my dad, so he went AWOL to Canada. Oh. Toronto specifically.

• 19:55Georgia Hardstark?

  That's where he gave a series of interviews to the Toronto Star. It was supposed to be four different installments, but only one ever got printed. Over the years, it's been brought up here and there, but two years ago, I really started looking in earnest for this article that I knew would be hard to find. It also didn't help that my dad couldn't remember the exact year it came out. It says 1970. Or even the exact newspaper it was in. Dads. Dads. This is where buried bones enters the chat. Back in June on my way to work, I was listening to an episode and I heard Kate talking about how she loved to use newspapers.com to help with her historical research. Cut to me signing up for the seven-day free trial and searching my father's name and newspapers in Canada, and it popped right up. I took a screenshot of it and sent it to my dad. This was his response.

• 20:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Quote, "The ghosts of the past come back. What happened next killed the series. The government contacted the owners of the Toronto Star and threatened them if they didn't kill the stories. By the third edition of the Sunday paper, it was off the front page and disappeared. Your dad really tried to do something, but it wasn't until Edward Snowden, many years later, that got the job done." Oh my god. So did. The only good thing that came out of it all was when I did return, they were afraid to make a big deal of it, and I ended up with a relatively easy sentence. End quote. Whoa. For Father's Day this year, I had the images of the article blown up to poster size and framed for him, and now they hang in the only place in the house where they would fit. The rumpus-type room in the basement where he spends a good amount of his time. This thing holds a lot of meaning to him because he felt like he was doing something

• 21:25Georgia Hardstark?

  good and he was just erased from history. This is just one part of my dad's lore that would make a really interesting autobiography we keep telling him he has to write. I know this was long, but thanks to whoever over there that took the time to read it, even if it doesn't make it to the podcast, stay sexy and always try to do what's right, even if the story gets killed. Hava. Yes, pronounced like the song "Hava Nagila" and "One of the Daughters" from "Piddler on the Roof." No, I was not named after either.

• 21:49Karen Kilgariff?

  What an incredible thing to have a dad as a whistleblower who's trying to be like, hey, the government might be doing the wrong thing for the people.

• 21:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, your dad has like a backbone.

• 22:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, that's tough.

• 22:04Karen Kilgariff?

  You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.

• 22:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.

• 22:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt, it's designed to help you relax and get in the right state of mind for a good night's rest.

• 22:19Georgia Hardstark?

  If you need a reset after a crazy day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine. It's an effortless way to get a boost of topical magnesium that can help you relax your body and mind before bedtime.

• 22:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast drying formula.

• 22:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed.

• 22:39Karen Kilgariff?

  I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just sprayed on your feet and suddenly you're asleep and the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy.

• 22:54Georgia Hardstark?

  And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want?

• 22:57Karen Kilgariff?

  How dare you call my feet stinky?

• 22:59Georgia Hardstark?

  For wellness you can feel, find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.

• 23:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 23:06Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series "Phony" is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+

• 23:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great, until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception: his mom.

• 23:18Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives, but for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 23:24Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 23:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 23:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nevola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 23:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series "Phony."

• 23:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 23:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 23:50Speaker 03

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• 24:22Karen Kilgariff?

  Let's take a real left turn right now. Mm-hmm. The subject line of this email is Colin Farrell spotting in intercourse, Pennsylvania. Hello, MFM crew. Love you lots, longtime listener. Thanks to my two older sisters who saw you live in Philly. And then it says, dot, dot, dot, without me. Dot, dot, dot. But that's beside the point. Let's get into it. I live just outside of Philadelphia, and every summer when my cousins would fly into town, my nan would take us all out to Amish country, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, to see some horse and buggies, gawk at the Amish families, and buy tons of homemade goods. Our favorite place to visit was called Kitchen Kettle Village in intercourse, PA. I shit you not, that's the name of the town. That's so weird. I had a T-shirt in the 90s.

• 25:07Karen Kilgariff?

  And it was all the weird Pennsylvania towns. There's like Blue Balls and intercourse, and it's a horny state. It just is. It seems wrong to name a town whose population consists mostly of Amish, something vulgar, but who am I to say? Anywho, Kitchen Kettle has a ton of little shops with various goods like jams, quilts, and pottery. On this particular visit, I remember it being extremely hot, and most of us kids were pretty done with the visit after the first two stores. My nan, who has always been stubborn and persistent, refused to leave without going into her favorite store at the very end of the village. Me being the youngest and never really having a say. God, isn't that the truth? Yes. Had to go into the store with her while everyone else waited outside.

• 25:50Karen Kilgariff?

  As we're walking around the store, I'm begging my nan to hurry up in any way I can, when all of a sudden, I see a tall, dark-haired man with bushy eyebrows and the most chiseled jawline. At this point in my life, I'm not sure I'd seen a Colin Farrell movie, but just by his look, I knew he was famous. I mean, talk about it factor. Totally. That guy. Telling you, I just, I felt him coming when I was at the movie theater at the same time as him. I quickly ran out the door and screamed at my... And screamed at my sister, "There's a celebrity in here, but I don't know his name." I have to give it to my sister for actually believing me and running in to check it out. Believe women and children. My sister has always been a pop culture whiz, so she pinned it down right away. She knew it was Colin Farrell.

• 26:34Karen Kilgariff?

  "We're trying to keep our cool, but we're also young, so we probably were doing the exact opposite. And we've taken a full 180 and are trying to get my nan to stay as long as possible in the store." Her being totally clueless to Colin Farrell's existence mentions that she wants to go upstairs to see the music boxes. As we're climbing up the stairs, we can hear the girl with Colin Farrell say, "I'm ready to leave," to which Colin Farrell says, "I think I want to check out those music boxes upstairs." My sister and I could have died, and I don't even really remember what happened after that. Eventually, we went to tell our family the news. My uncle's first reaction being, "Was he wearing jeans?" Why, I don't know. That was just my uncle being my uncle.

• 27:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Was he wearing jeans? That is such an uncle question.

• 27:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, it. Was he wearing jeans? Yeah, he was that one guy wearing jeans among all the rest.

• 27:22Georgia Hardstark?

  In fucking Pennsylvania, of all places.

• 27:24Karen Kilgariff?

  I think we eventually learned that he was filming nearby for a movie, and that's why he was in the area. Till this day, whenever Colin Farrell is brought up in conversation, it is always quickly followed up with, "Was he wearing jeans?" Anyway, thank you so much for all you guys do.

• 27:39Georgia Hardstark?

  That's cute.

• 27:40Karen Kilgariff?

  You've made countless road trips and days in the office more enjoyable. Stay sexy and don't forget to keep an eye out for Colin Farrell, even in the middle of nowhere, Jackie.

• 27:48Georgia Hardstark?

  That's so exciting.

• 27:51Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm so excited.

• 27:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Why do we do this? We have to get a photo with him now.

• 27:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Colin Farrell?

• 27:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, if we see him in LA.

• 27:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Here would be my approach.

• 27:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Karen Kilgariff?

  I would try to get physically lower.

• 28:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 28:02Karen Kilgariff?

  And just be like, "My grandparents are from Ireland."

• 28:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 28:05Karen Kilgariff?

  And I play on that kind of like hometown thing.

• 28:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. My podcast is a fan of yours.

• 28:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, there you go. You can come with the thing that's very effective on people where you say, "I'm not a fan."

• 28:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 28:17Karen Kilgariff?

  But my friend Karen.

• 28:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Someone else will be jealous.

• 28:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, so could you please?

• 28:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, my last one is hometown prank calls, orthodontists. I'm not going to read you the whole thing. The end. Okay, Georgia.

• 28:30Karen Kilgariff?

  A half-subject line, okay, that's new.

• 28:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Karen, Georgia et al. I'm not sure what hometown category this story fits. Prank calls, awkward adolescence, whatever it is, it's got everything and you've asked for literally anything.

• 28:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Very true.

• 28:43Georgia Hardstark?

  So, I was 12, it was summertime and my friends and I spent every moment together or on the phone, for hours, days, maybe weeks. My parents were at work, MTV was playing Jeremy by Pearl Jam. I remember that summer. You know, the feel-good hit of the summer. And I was deep in a three-hour phone call with my best friend Brooke. At some point, I started complaining about my upcoming orthodontist appointment. I was about to get braces and the dramatics were high. Eventually, we decided to hang up, eat lunch, and call each other back in a bit. Fuck, I remember that. It's so funny, I remember being on the phone with friends for hours and just earlier, my favorite person, my best friend Kate, called me and I didn't answer the phone.

• 29:22Karen Kilgariff?

  It's a different thing now. And also, you'd be on the phone for hours and then, like at our house, my dad would just be like, "Get off the phone!" You'd just hear "Get off the phone" yelled randomly.

• 29:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Always.

• 29:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 29:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Seconds after I hung up, the phone rang. I picked up and a woman's voice said, "Orthodontist office calling to confirm Megan's appointment." Naturally, I assumed it was Brooke using her extremely convincing adult voice to prank me. So I leaned into it and said, in my most serious tone, "Megan is dead." Oh. There was a pause, but not the "ha ha, you got me" kind of pause. It was very long, very awkward, very adult silence. Then the woman whispered, "Oh, I'm so sorry," and hung up. Immediately, I called Brooke to confirm it was her, but she swore it wasn't. That's when it hit me. I had just told a real medical professional that I was dead. I knew I was in deep trouble, but I also knew the only way out was to deny everything and hope for the best.

• 30:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Why? Just call that poor woman, let her off the hook.

• 30:24Georgia Hardstark?

  That evening, the orthodontist himself called the house. Because she was all like crying, right?

• 30:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:30Georgia Hardstark?

  She's like, "Why are you crying?" "Well, what are your patients?"

• 30:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Horrible.

• 30:33Georgia Hardstark?

  A child. He asked to speak with my mom. I listened from the next room and she assured him I was in fact very much alive and standing right there. After she hung up, she asked if anyone had called to confirm my appointment earlier in the day. I lied like a pro. Nope, I was on the phone with Brooke all day. She believed me? No idea. But she dropped it and we never spoke of it again.

• 30:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, I would have.

• 30:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Gotten in so much trouble.

• 30:57Karen Kilgariff?

  And nothing like that ever happened at our house. It'd be like, ask three more questions and you're busted and it's over.

• 31:03Georgia Hardstark?

  When we showed up for my braces spitting later that week, I was very aware of the side eyes and whispers from the front desk. My mom let out some nervous laughter while checking me in and I just tried to disappear into my seat. To be fair, Dr. Goldstein and his team were incredibly kind throughout my orthodontic journey. And honestly, I've always felt guilty about giving them a heart attack that day. As an adult, I realized how brutal that phone call must have been.

• 31:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Horrible.

• 31:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Preparing to offer condolences to the grieving mother of a 12 year old girl who was just watching MTV and eating a Lunchable. Is she me? So yeah, sorry, Dr. Goldstein. Stay sexy and don't fake your own death. Megan, she/her.

• 31:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Megan, that's so epic. But also just the funniest thing of like, the shortest distance between the end of that mistake.

• 31:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 31:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Is just going, immediately call that lady back. And I'm like, I'm so sorry, I thought you were my friend Frankie. Like, there's no minus to that. That lady be like, oh, thank God.

• 31:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 31:59Karen Kilgariff?

  But like.

• 31:59Georgia Hardstark?

  She gave her the whole day to, and then the doctor called to offer his condolences.

• 32:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh. Wow.

• 32:06Georgia Hardstark?

  What a horrible phone call it's that.

• 32:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Megan, you're a horrible person and we love you. We, and we couldn't be happier that you listened to our podcast.

• 32:12Georgia Hardstark?

  You're right where you belong.

• 32:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, welcome, welcome to the pod.

• 32:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Way to go, everyone. Thanks for sending us your emails. Send them to myfavoritemurder@gmail.

• 32:20Karen Kilgariff?

  And stay sexy.

• 32:20Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 32:22Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 32:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 32:31Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right production.

• 32:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.

• 32:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 32:38Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci.

• 32:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 32:43Georgia Hardstark?

  And follow the show on Instagram at myfavoritemurder.

• 32:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 32:50Georgia Hardstark?

  And now you can watch us on Exactly Right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe.

• 32:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 33:02Karen Kilgariff?

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• 33:08Georgia Hardstark?

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• 33:13Karen Kilgariff?

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• 33:16Georgia Hardstark?

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• 33:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Go to CheapCaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be.

• 33:27Speaker 04

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