"Kris Jenner"

We're off to the races with Kris Jenner. School, Social, Smooch, Smart Cookies, and meeting a Mint Julip. Re-enroll in home-school, because 'nobody’s going on the internet,' …in another mind-bending alternate reality that is [in some intimate regions often colloquially referred to as] an all-new "SmartLess."

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Sean Hayes?

  It's finally that time of year. Maybe the weather is getting a little more crisp, or you're just clocking it from all the pumpkins at the grocery store, which means the holidays are just around the corner. Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. Get ahead of the season, shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get a head start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 1:25Sean Hayes?

  Sitting in traffic, huh? Watching an old lady with a walker make it further up the road than you have in the last 15 minutes? And of course, your gas tank is in the perfect spot between not a problem to stranded on the highway. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode. Experience award-winning reliability, fly with the best crew in the sky, and never worry about change or cancellation fees. Now tell that old lady to slow down. Kids live around here. Southwest Airlines, enter airplane mode.

• 2:05Sean Hayes?

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• 2:44Sean Hayes?

  So Willie and I are in New York right now, surviving this blizzard. I know this is gonna come out later, but it's pretty rough out there.

• 2:52Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  I got out of there on Saturday. I got very lucky.

• 2:56Sean Hayes?

  I was doing a cold open, but that's okay.

• 2:58Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, we're just in the middle of a cold open.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Oh, you're doing a cold open. Oh, sorry, sorry.

• 3:01Jason Bateman?

  We'll get back to you.

• 3:01Sean Hayes?

  Wait, hang on. Welcome to On All Smartless.

• 3:21Sean Hayes?

  I never saw Field of Dreams.

• 3:23Jason Bateman?

  Huh?

• 3:24Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and Scotty, and Scotty put it up. And he's like, I was like, yeah, let's watch this. I never saw, like, it's, yeah. Have you, you've seen it?

• 3:32Jason Bateman?

  Well, oh, hang on. And did you, so he built it, you came.

• 3:38Sean Hayes?

  Really nice, Jason. Bravo, bravo.

• 3:42Jason Bateman?

  What did you think of it, Sean?

• 3:43Sean Hayes?

  I thought it was so good. I thought the tone was really good. I thought. Don't need a detailed review. No, I thought, I thought it was, first of all, I didn't, I didn't know what it was. I mean, I've seen clips about, clips of it like over the decades. So I kinda had an idea and I, of course, know the phrase, build it and he will come, whatever. But I never.

• 4:03Jason Bateman?

  I'm sure I've ever seen it, to be honest.

• 4:05Sean Hayes?

  Oh, we gotta watch it. It's really, really good.

• 4:07Jason Bateman?

  You'd watch it a first, second time?

• 4:08Sean Hayes?

  I would.

• 4:09Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 4:10Sean Hayes?

  Watch it. Have him over to your theater, JB. Yeah.

• 4:12Jason Bateman?

  Come on over.

• 4:13Sean Hayes?

  You've never seen it, Jason?

• 4:14Jason Bateman?

  I don't think I have, no. I don't know if I've ever seen Major League and I don't know if I've ever seen Bull Durham.

• 4:22Will Arnett?

  Bull Durham is excellent.

• 4:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you're a baseball crazy person.

• 4:25Jason Bateman?

  I know I've seen The Natural a bunch of times.

• 4:27Will Arnett?

  Bull Durham is excellent.

• 4:28Sean Hayes?

  I've never seen any of those.

• 4:29Jason Bateman?

  Maybe I'll just see little clips of it on social media.

• 4:31Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and then just piece it together.

• 4:33Will Arnett?

  That's a good way to do it. Like my kids do, like kind of 20 seconds at a time.

• 4:37Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, this is the way the kids are eating stuff up nowadays.

• 4:39Sean Hayes?

  What do you guys think about that? They're making those little clips. Isn't there like one minute episodes now of stuff? Have you heard about this?

• 4:47Jason Bateman?

  Is it maybe on Tubi? Do I have Tubi?

• 4:49Will Arnett?

  You do, you do currently have Tubi.

• 4:52Sean Hayes?

  Does anybody know about this?

• 4:53Jason Bateman?

  Quibi, Quibi was the...

• 4:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, Quibi was the first thing, but then, you know, that didn't work out for whatever reason.

• 4:59Jason Bateman?

  So there's little one minute episodes of stuff?

• 5:01Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and now that's really, that's what I read, that it's really picking up on TikTok. And they'll do like a whole season is five minutes.

• 5:07Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 5:08Sean Hayes?

  And each episode is like a minute or two minutes.

• 5:10Will Arnett?

  Must be riveting.

• 5:13Sean Hayes?

  You haven't heard about that?

• 5:14Jason Bateman?

  That can't be a good thing.

• 5:15Will Arnett?

  I actually haven't, I have not heard of it.

• 5:17Sean Hayes?

  Michael Bennett, Rob, have you heard about that?

• 5:19Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, verticals. Well, Rob, first of all, take the judgment out of your voice when you say, oh, yeah.

• 5:26Jason Bateman?

  We need to work on, we need to work on our attention span, all of us on this planet, right?

• 5:31Will Arnett?

  I know. I think we need to watch stuff that's longer. I think that that's been, I was reading something saying that...

• 5:35Sean Hayes?

  Everybody watched Field of Dreams. It's really good.

• 5:37Will Arnett?

  That all the tech billionaires don't, they really limit their kids' access to short form stuff because they realize that there's studies that show it has a direct impact on kids' attention spans.

• 5:49Jason Bateman?

  Well, listen, this is helpful then today because what I've got with us today is somebody who might be able to opine on some of these things and give us a look around the corner a little bit for what might be coming, you know. With us today is a leader of an empire.

• 6:05Will Arnett?

  Ooh.

• 6:06Jason Bateman?

  She has launched and is the guiding force behind at least 10 companies by my count, which have generated dollars in the billions, I'm sure. Her business skills and know-how are matched only by her media savvy and cultural instincts. Her abilities as a manager and a parent, however, is where it all started. Here to tell us how on earth she does it and where it all goes from here is the one, the only Kris Jenner.

• 6:28Will Arnett?

  Oh, look at this.

• 6:29Jason Bateman?

  Chris. Chris.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  Hey, guys.

• 6:31Jason Bateman?

  Tanner. I am very excited that you are with us today. I've wanted you on the show for, you know, very, very long time. I've just, I've been afraid to ask.

• 6:40Speaker 04

  We're travel buddies. We go on vacation together.

• 6:43Jason Bateman?

  We are a little bit.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  Jason and I.

• 6:44Jason Bateman?

  Is that true?

• 6:45Speaker 04

  And Amanda. Yeah, we do.

• 6:47Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 04

  We kind of plan it, but it's an accident. So I'll let you guys figure that one out.

• 6:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Okay. Just fascinating to talk to. And I'm really, really happy you're with us today.

• 7:00Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 7:01Jason Bateman?

  All right. Let me, let me, let me, let me just like, could you, there's no way you could imagine that your adult life would be here where we are now, I would imagine. What did you, what did you think you were going to be when you grew up? What was there, was there, was there an early idea, plan, goal, dream?

• 7:24Speaker 04

  A mom.

• 7:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah? Oh, really?

• 7:25Speaker 04

  I used to dream about being a mom. When I was 16, I decided I wanted six kids.

• 7:31Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  And, yeah.

• 7:33Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 7:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. So I mean, that was sort of embedded in my head that that was my, my magical number. And that's what I wanted to do with my life. And I couldn't wait to be a mom and have my first baby. And I had my first baby, I got pregnant when I was 22.

• 7:49Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 7:49Speaker 04

  And I met Robert Kardashian when I was 17.

• 7:53Jason Bateman?

  How and where? Is it, is it a meet cute?

• 7:56Speaker 04

  We met at the racetrack in Del Mar.

• 7:58Jason Bateman?

  No way. Wow.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. And I wasn't old enough to bet. So I had to stand to the side while my girlfriend's mom placed our bets for like $2. And I was gonna, I was so excited and I was all dressed up. And I was standing there and he came up to me and said, you know, what's your name? And I told him and he was a little cheeky and I was really annoyed. Like, you're a stranger, go away. And, you know, the world was a much different place. Like, you trusted people. But there was also no way to contact somebody unless you had their phone number. And you were standing by your phone in the kitchen to receive the phone call.

• 8:38Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  And blah, blah, blah. I mean, it was a weird world. The best times of my life, but.

• 8:43Jason Bateman?

  You couldn't snap one another, you mean?

• 8:45Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 04

  No, there was no internet, no phone, no cell phones, no computer, no iPod, none of it. No technology.

• 8:53Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  And so he asked me for my name and I gave it to him and he asked me for my number and I didn't give it to him. But his best friend, this girl, worked at the phone company.

• 9:03Will Arnett?

  I knew you were gonna say that. Every story from back then had to be like, I knew somebody at the phone company.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Right.

• 9:09Will Arnett?

  That's the only way.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  Right, right. And they looked at my name and there was my phone number. I mean, listen, every year.

• 9:16Jason Bateman?

  It's kind of a romantic sort of like.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:18Jason Bateman?

  He just stuck with it.

• 9:19Speaker 04

  He pursued me.

• 9:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 9:20Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Stalker romantic.

• 9:21Jason Bateman?

  But wait, I want to get back to the racetrack. So wait, you.

• 9:26Jason Bateman?

  I've been there a couple of times. It's a very unique environment, any racetrack. It's so kind of fun. Did you know what you were doing or were you just like, oh, that's a fun name. Let's pick that horse.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  Um, I had, well, no, I had no idea what I was doing.

• 9:42Jason Bateman?

  You weren't watching them warm up?

• 9:44Speaker 04

  No idea.

• 9:44Jason Bateman?

  You didn't know what horses were good muckers?

• 9:46Speaker 04

  Well, we walked around looking like we knew what we were doing, but we were just, you know, probably, you know, it's so visual. Like going to the racetrack in the seventies.

• 9:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  Was like, like the hats and the suits and the beauty and the horses and then.

• 10:02Jason Bateman?

  It was an event.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Everyone's got a cocktail and I mean, it was very grown up.

• 10:06Jason Bateman?

  Still kind of is, right? At the like Kentucky Derby, still like a big, like glamorous thing. Have you ever been there?

• 10:11Speaker 04

  It was California's Kentucky. I have been once with Kim.

• 10:14Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 04

  And we were, we went, we went to the races. We were supposed to go out afterwards with a bunch of people and have a, you know, to the party that they give afterwards. And I was drinking these things called a mint julep in a little tin cup. And I, Kim and I had, Kim didn't even drink in those days. She still doesn't really drink. But I did.

• 10:37Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  And I had too many and I said, I gotta go to bed. I'm too tired.

• 10:42Jason Bateman?

  They're too tasty. I think I remember those things.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I just went to sleep.

• 10:47Will Arnett?

  Did you go JB? Did you go there?

• 10:49Jason Bateman?

  I've never been to the Kentucky Derby, no, but I've.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Really?

• 10:52Jason Bateman?

  I met a, I met a mint julep once.

• 10:54Will Arnett?

  I gotta say, I'm really taken with, I want to go back to the phone company and the. No, you couldn't get in touch with anybody. And the magic of Del Mar back then and you, everybody wasn't in touch with each other all the time. And you could go and do something like that and you weren't bothered by your other life. You were just there, you were where you were. And I'm really taken with that idea.

• 11:15Jason Bateman?

  There weren't even answering machines back then.

• 11:17Will Arnett?

  Not really. I mean.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  No, there was no answering machine.

• 11:20Sean Hayes?

  You either had to be home or not.

• 11:22Will Arnett?

  Ah.

• 11:22Speaker 04

  And it was, you know, there wasn't any kind of, there, I mean, I don't think there was a show like Entertainment Tonight or any of the, you know, the, the shows like that. And the Del Mar races sounded so glamorous. And my mom used to go and I used to watch my mom when I was a little girl, walk out the door in her beautiful dress and her big hat going with her friends. And when she was single or when she met my stepdad, going with my stepdad and we're going to the races. And it sounded so like, what? You're going to the horse races? And you only saw horse races in the movies. Like you would see, like a scene like that.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  And I was like, going to this glamorous thing.

• 12:08Sean Hayes?

  I would go to the grocery store with my mom and we'd go shopping. And after she checked out, after we checked out, she would stop at this counter and buy race car, or racehorse tickets to then go watch at home to see if her number wins. Yeah, and I'm like, we could barely afford peanut butter. And she's like buying, you know, gambling on the way out, out, out the door.

• 12:28Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 12:29Sean Hayes?

  And then we'd watch the race tracks, race things at home.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Races. I didn't know you could do that.

• 12:34Will Arnett?

  She always kept an eye on the horses.

• 12:38Speaker 04

  Do you guys, do you guys ever do, do you guys ever do the Lotto? Like, do you go for the mega millions?

• 12:44Jason Bateman?

  A couple of times I've done it, yeah. There is, I mean, gambling is, I used to have a bit, a bit of a fun, fun time with gambling. I no longer do, but it is, it's still something that sort of like lives a little bit. Yeah, yeah, Shawnee, you just went to Vegas, right?

• 13:00Will Arnett?

  Sean loves it, but I will say this, a friend of mine said to me recently, I love this idea. He said, he said, yeah, I buy, you know, when the, when the mega million, or whatever it is, hits like a billion dollars, like, I end up buying a couple of tickets. I said, really? He seemed like the most unlikely, my buddy Clay, and I go, really? You buy that Lotto ticket? And he goes, yeah, you know why I buy it? I buy it for that five minutes after I've bought it and I'm in the car.

• 13:22Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 13:22Will Arnett?

  And that feeling, that feeling is just as good as winning.

• 13:25Jason Bateman?

  What would I do?

• 13:26Will Arnett?

  Just getting that feeling. Because it's only about the feeling.

• 13:29Jason Bateman?

  That's right.

• 13:30Will Arnett?

  Because the money and whatever, sure, but it's the feeling that we're after. And he's like, and I enjoy that feeling.

• 13:35Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:36Will Arnett?

  And I was like, that's, it's good.

• 13:37Sean Hayes?

  I think it's funny that people go, like, I think it's funny that there's people that line up the street to buy a billion dollar lottery ticket, but not a 50 million dollar ticket. Like, that's not enough.

• 13:47Will Arnett?

  I'm not gonna do it for 50.

• 13:50Sean Hayes?

  Do you know what I mean? Ah, 50? No, I'll wait till it gets to a billion.

• 13:53Jason Bateman?

  Didn't I just read somewhere that AI now can really help your, your, your number picking?

• 13:59Speaker 04

  Stop.

• 14:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, you can like go on like some of these AI things and say, give me the, give me the numbers that are gonna win the lottery this, this weekend. And they'll actually give you some that get pretty close, apparently.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Wow, well, you could, well, like, if it's a billion dollars, you, I mean, you could win a, you know, 100 million if you have a couple of numbers, right?

• 14:18Jason Bateman?

  That'll do it.

• 14:19Sean Hayes?

  Just two, just two numbers, yeah.

• 14:21Jason Bateman?

  Now, now, talking about your, your, your mom and your stepdad, was your stepdad, you, you realize very quickly, this is not hard hitting journalism here. I think I, a stepdad was a businessman, perhaps?

• 14:34Speaker 04

  No, my stepdad was actually, he had two businesses. My stepdad, my uncle had a car dealership and my stepdad would have a kit and he would go to the car dealership. And stripe the cars. Oh. Do anybody old enough to remember that phase?

• 14:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah, give it like a line.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  You take like, it's like a tape.

• 14:55Sean Hayes?

  Like a pinstripe or something?

• 14:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, like a pinstripe. You pinstriped a car in a couple of hours. And in those days, it was done with a very thin tape. Right. And my dad was San Diego's premier tape car taper.

• 15:09Sean Hayes?

  And wait, would it just be a piece of tape on the car?

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:12Sean Hayes?

  And it wouldn't just come off?

• 15:14Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, like Starsky and Hutch, you know, that big Nike swoosh on it.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 15:18Will Arnett?

  I had one of my old Chevy Tahoe 25 years ago because it came with a thin orange and I didn't like it. So I went to a guy and he put a thin blue over it.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 15:26Sean Hayes?

  And it just made all the difference.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 15:28Jason Bateman?

  I don't know what you're doing messing around with Chevy. I mean, that shit, you should have been a GMC.

• 15:31Will Arnett?

  This is pre-GMC days.

• 15:32Jason Bateman?

  Did you not like professional grade back then?

• 15:34Will Arnett?

  I do. I love professional grade. I love everything in the GM family.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  So he did that. And then he also was a guy who had a company that put antennas on the roof.

• 15:47Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 15:48Speaker 04

  But he actually did it. Like he had a few guys that worked for him. So if you bought a TV.

• 15:54Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 15:55Speaker 04

  I remember we got our first colored TV. And then he would have a company that, you know, advertised and came out.

• 16:02Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  And put your antenna on your roof.

• 16:04Jason Bateman?

  The rabbit ears up on the roof. Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:06Jason Bateman?

  I got you. So, but like my question behind the question is where.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  So I guess he was a business smart. He made money.

• 16:13Jason Bateman?

  Did that start to, how early did the, did the, did the business interest in you get sparked? That entrepreneurial sort of creative kind of what, what, what, what could I get into next? Kind of thing start?

• 16:28Speaker 04

  Oh, that, that came from my grandmother and my mother. So my grandmother and my mother both had their own stores in La Jolla, California.

• 16:37Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  And I grew up in San Diego and then La Jolla. And my mom still lives there to this day. She's 90, almost 92. But she had, her last store that she had was a children's store, 45 years, called Shannon and Company. Her last name is Shannon.

• 16:55Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  And my grandmother had a candle store called The Candles of La Jolla. So basically, when I was 12 years old, instead of going to the La Jolla shores to learn how to surf with all my friends, I was going to my grandmother's candle store and working. And the first job I had, I was the gift wrapper. So my grandmother taught me. It was the best. And by the way, I'm the best gift wrapper.

• 17:19Jason Bateman?

  Are you really?

• 17:20Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 17:21Will Arnett?

  I've watched the videos of the Japanese people.

• 17:24Sean Hayes?

  I saw that too.

• 17:25Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and I'm like, I'm trying to emulate, I'm the worst.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Obsessed.

• 17:28Will Arnett?

  At Christmas, I realized I'm the worst.

• 17:30Sean Hayes?

  I love it.

• 17:31Jason Bateman?

  Wait, so Chris, do you have incredible techniques about hiding edges and curling seams?

• 17:37Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. Oh, and I do, like, one day, I learned how to use the ribbon maker, the bow maker machine. So I got really good at bows. And so I have these hidden talents. Like, they say we have no talent. Oh, I've got talent. Yeah, I've got some great gift wrapping talent.

• 17:54Jason Bateman?

  Do you have a wrapping room at the house?

• 17:55Speaker 04

  I do, I do.

• 17:57Jason Bateman?

  I have a friend that has a wrapping room.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  With rolls of wrapping paper and drawers of tissue, and it's very exciting.

• 18:04Will Arnett?

  Chris, can you look, can you look at a gift or some of you in a wrap, and can you just eyeball it and go, I know exactly how much paper I need for that?

• 18:12Speaker 04

  Um, I used to, a little bit better. Now I've, you know, I, if I really get confused over a gift, I just cellophane it and put a bow on it, call it a day. And it's so cute.

• 18:25Jason Bateman?

  Cellophane will help you avoid those terrible paper cuts, paper cuts you can get from wrapping gifts.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  That's right. But I love those, I love those videos from Japan.

• 18:34Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  They're so fabulous.

• 18:36Sean Hayes?

  And like, yeah, OCD. So wait, Chris, so after the, after you, so you learned some business while you were wrapping, you're like, wait, how did that work? And how did that?

• 18:46Jason Bateman?

  Well, your mom and your grandma were great business inspiration for you.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  So I think, listen, when you're, when you're young, and you see your, my, my mother at the time was a single mom, and my grandmother and my grandfather lived across the street, and I, my grandmother helped raise me. So when you see the two most important people in your life at the time, my grandmother and my mom, get up and get dressed to the nines and go to work every day and get there at nine o'clock, and have a routine, and have a business, and pay the bills, and they were so proud of their businesses and how they ran them. I worked for both of them, on and off. And I learned a lot in those days. I got finally graduated to being on the floor with customers.

• 19:33Speaker 04

  Then I graduated to the cash register.

• 19:36Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 19:37Speaker 04

  And I just learned a lot. Those were some of the best learning years of my life. Because I learned so much about, and then from there, I became a stewardess for American Airlines. And I was a flight attendant. And when I was a flight attendant, that gave me great social intelligence, social skills.

• 19:54Sean Hayes?

  I didn't know you were a flight attendant.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  Learning how to run a team.

• 19:57Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  And just like some really interesting things that were very valuable at a very young age.

• 20:03Jason Bateman?

  My mom did that for like thirty years with Pan Am.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  She did?

• 20:07Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. It was the coolest thing for me as a kid, just flying around the world, kind of, you know, in the back with my little suit on, you know, because I had to.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 20:16Jason Bateman?

  Dress up for the free tickets.

• 20:17Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:18Sean Hayes?

  You still fly Pan Am, don't you, Jay?

• 20:20Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I can't, they keep getting canceled these flights.

• 20:23Will Arnett?

  And he still fits in that, he still fits in that suit.

• 20:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  You guys.

• 20:27Will Arnett?

  It sounds like, yeah, you know, the thing is, at the heart of it is like this, you've, you've had this consistent work ethic.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  I've learned, yeah.

• 20:35Will Arnett?

  That's super strong.

• 20:36Speaker 04

  I'm really proud of how, what they taught me and what I was able to absorb. But then even more importantly, how I raised my kids and what they were able to learn from the whole experience and how they were raised and how they, it was always, my kids joke and they say to me, you know, Mom, during the summer, or they'll tell a story and they'll go, my mom during the summer, when we were in, you know, it's supposed to be on vacation, my mom, you know, in the old days, like the nineties or the eighties, we used to have a landline. And on the landline, as we became more successful and had more opportunities,

• 21:16Speaker 04

  the stuff in the house got better. The TVs got bigger, the phones got more complicated. And we set this intercom system on the phone.

• 21:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  So you'd have a big, you know, big land phone, landline phone. Sitting next to all these counters and all the buttons. And there was, there was a thing. And Chloe always tells the story, my mom used to intercom the whole house. It's seven AM, time to get up, make your beds. And so I raised my kids like that, like, no, no, we're not laying in bed. Life is happening, get up, we've got stuff to do.

• 21:50Sean Hayes?

  I love that.

• 21:51Jason Bateman?

  Me too.

• 21:52Sean Hayes?

  That's really cool.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:53Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so what happened after the after the candle thing and and working in that store? And what was the kind of the next venture for you after that? That made you want to propel further into being a businesswoman?

• 22:08Speaker 04

  I worked there, then I worked at a boutique in La Jolla for a friend and then for my mom. And I loved having structure in my life. I loved having something to do and to get dressed for. And my mother and my grandmother always told me that it was so important to present myself to the world in a way that I wanted to be like, look your best, be on your best behavior. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. You know, really good manners.

• 22:42Sean Hayes?

  Mm hmm.

• 22:43Jason Bateman?

  Right, right. Yeah, I was gonna, I was gonna say, yeah, you gotta, for me, like, I've got to believe it before I can expect anyone else to believe it. So you get up, get up, get out there and and look like where you want to go.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  That's exactly right. And surround, you know, a couple of things. So then I became, then I went and I applied to be a flight attendant, Sean, to answer that question. And then from there, I got married to Robert Kardashian. So that's kind of, and then I started having kids. So that's the, you know, the Reader's Digest version.

• 23:14Sean Hayes?

  Which was the real job.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  Which is, yeah. You know, the kids and the being a mom, that was at a very young age. But, you know, along the way, the one thing you guys can probably relate to or think about, or your, you know, listeners can think about is my mother in law was the first one. Now it's, you know, a mantra in our house. But my mother in law, Nana, was always saying, Robert, you know, to her son, Robert, tell, you know, show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are. And she used to just gripe at all of us about if she thought anybody around us was shady or dishonest or a little creepy or, you know, anything off.

• 23:57Speaker 04

  She was, because I met her and Robert at such a young age, you know, he was 12 years older than I was. But I just learned so much because then I had this whole Armenian. Family surrounding me that I'd never had a big, big family. I had one sister. So, and my mom was divorced for the longest time until she met my dad when, you know, and then got married when I was 13. But a lot of my life, it was me, my mom and my sister. So having this big Armenian family around me was very, it was so amazing. And some of the things I learned, I let it all soak in. I was like a sponge.

• 24:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 24:39Speaker 04

  You know, I was like, I love having all these people watching out for me because they met me so young. And they were helping me grow up.

• 24:47Will Arnett?

  Right, right, right, a big community, yeah.

• 24:51Sean Hayes?

  That's so great.

• 24:51Will Arnett?

  Was there, go ahead, Shani.

• 24:53Sean Hayes?

  No, just gonna say, I was just gonna share, one of my first jobs was at a furniture store in downtown Glen Ellyn, and I had to answer the phones. And all I did all day long was call my friend Sheri in Arizona. And then the, the bills would come and I, they were, their, their phone bill was like hundreds of dollars, which was huge back then, like, probably like a thousand dollars.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  It's huge metal.

• 25:18Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, the, the guy would come and be like, who are you calling in Arizona? I was like, that's my sister, just trying to be in touch. And, but it was my best friend and I got in so, and then I got fired because of that.

• 25:27Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 25:29Sean Hayes?

  That's my story, that's my story, my first job.

• 25:31Speaker 04

  I love that story.

• 25:32Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Hang on, I'm just trying to look on the chart where I'm gonna put that.

• 25:38Speaker 04

  You know what, one of my first jobs,

• 25:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  the things that we will do, one of my first jobs, I was really wanting to do something. I mean, this is how, I guess, I don't know, motivated I must have been to make some money. And, but, because my mom, it wasn't like she was, you know, passing out money to buy clothes. And we were getting to the age where we really loved clothes and we wanted to buy things and we were teenagers and all of it. And so I got a job up the street from my house that I could then get on the school bus and get to middle school or high school. And it was at a donut shop. And my job was to take a glaze scraper and scrape the glaze off of the floor.

• 26:24Speaker 04

  And they would give me free, a little money and some free donut holes every morning.

• 26:30Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 26:30Speaker 04

  And I was, was the best glaze scraper.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  In, I think in San Diego. Pretty sure.

• 26:38Will Arnett?

  Sean, how lost are you in this story?

• 26:43Sean Hayes?

  He's trying to figure out if it's a bad job. He can't decide whether it's a bad job.

• 26:48Will Arnett?

  Hey, this is a job?

• 26:51Will Arnett?

  Is my calling much?

• 26:53Speaker 04

  You guys don't want to ruin my makeup.

• 26:54Sean Hayes?

  I'll eat the glaze off the floor. I mean, that'd be incredible.

• 26:59Speaker 04

  They didn't need the scraper. Guys, it was amazing.

• 27:04Sean Hayes?

  Sean's volunteering for any sort of glaze scraping in any part of the room.

• 27:11Speaker 04

  So if you ever need anybody who, like, listen, these skills somehow, you know, worked for me later in life, I don't know, go figure.

• 27:19Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. And we will be right back.

• 27:25Sean Hayes?

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• 28:09Sean Hayes?

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• 28:26Sean Hayes?

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• 29:11Sean Hayes?

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• 29:34Speaker 05

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• 30:16Speaker 05

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• 30:38Sean Hayes?

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• 31:27Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 31:31Jason Bateman?

  What would you say to these young people that are going off to business school and they're killing themselves trying to like top business schools and learn all the business stuff that one needs to like? Where would you? What size would you put that sort of the traditional business? Good question. Structured, you know, in today's society and climate for business success?

• 31:54Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 31:55Jason Bateman?

  The nuts and the bolts of it, because?

• 31:57Speaker 04

  I'm gonna get in trouble here because I did not go to college.

• 32:01Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh.

• 32:02Speaker 04

  And that wasn't important to me because I didn't, I wasn't the most amazing, like I didn't love school because I was social. Does that make sense? I love being, I love the socialization of it. I love, I think, you know, some of my kids have been trying to decide, do we want to just do homeschool? Do we love, you know, this kind of school as the kids get older? And Kendall and Kylie, my two youngest, went to homeschool the last year of their high school years and then they graduated. But it wasn't.

• 32:38Speaker 04

  This, you know, it's always been for us about, or for me, about socialization and making sure that obviously I have a good education and I know my ABCs.

• 32:47Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 04

  And, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm a smart cookie and I love to learn and I soak it all in.

• 32:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 32:54Speaker 04

  But everyone learns differently.

• 32:56Will Arnett?

  There's so many different options.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  And I think that's what's interesting. And so I think the options out there are so vast. However, it really, you have to follow your heart, but it's also what do you want to go into? Some rule of thumb and, and thought of some parents and, and kids alike and people in general is that if you get that education under your belt, then that's your safety net. Like that, then you can go forward in your life and now you're set with your, you know, you have your tool belt on.

• 33:29Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 33:30Speaker 04

  And you can go out there and do various things. And I, I'm not, like, I, I love that too. My son went to USC, Kim went to college for maybe a couple of weeks.

• 33:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 33:41Speaker 04

  And, you know, Courtney graduated from college and, you know, half of my kids did it and half of my kids didn't.

• 33:47Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  So it's a mixed bag for me, but I think it really depends on if you want to be a doctor or a, you know, physician of any kind, a surgeon, you know, medical field, attorney, lawyer. That's necessary.

• 34:03Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 34:04Speaker 04

  But I think it's just going to be what your, you know, follow your heart. What is it that, you know, that gets you excited about life and what you want to do with your career?

• 34:12Will Arnett?

  And start sooner than later.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:14Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you know, it's, I'm going through, JB, you went through it with, with your eldest and I'm kind of going through it now with my teenage boys because they're at that point where they're looking at colleges and we're going to do a college tour at spring break. And I keep sort of saying to them, you know, there, there's a pressure, not just from the parents, but you can feel it from the peer group as everybody's talking about it. So it builds up this kind of frenzy about where to go and all this sort of stuff.

• 34:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 34:35Will Arnett?

  And I said, look. Yeah, and having to decide what you're going to do as an adult. As, yeah, and I, and I go, you know what, man? Any one of these places, you're pretty much guaranteed of getting a really good education. You've got to decide what you want your experience to be. Right. What you want your life to be. Experience to be.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  So true.

• 34:49Will Arnett?

  Right? And don't, I, I, I urge you not to get caught up in that. And I'm really, I, I, and, and I think it's kind of lending because I just, I see them, I see these kids and they're getting so wrapped up in it.

• 35:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, life will narrow you like real quick, uh, uh, soon anyway.

• 35:06Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 35:06Jason Bateman?

  Keep your experience.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 35:08Will Arnett?

  Go to college, I dropped out, I dropped out of college after one semester. Cause I was like.

• 35:12Speaker 04

  You did?

• 35:13Will Arnett?

  Yeah, for me, I went, you know what? This is not, I looked around at all my peers and my friends and kids I'd grown up with. And I said, this is not where I'm going. I, I want to go over here and I want to jump into life. And I moved to New York at age 20.

• 35:25Sean Hayes?

  But what it does, what it did for me, I went for four years and never graduated, but still got a doctorate. But anyway, uh.

• 35:30Jason Bateman?

  Oh, boy.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  Wait, we want the recipe for that.

• 35:34Will Arnett?

  From the, from the furniture store?

• 35:39Sean Hayes?

  No, but what it did for me was, what it does for a lot of kids is it gets you out of the house. That's it. And you get out of the house and you're with your peers in a totally different setting and you find out who you are.

• 35:51Jason Bateman?

  New, new horizons.

• 35:52Sean Hayes?

  A new horizons. And, and, and yes, uh, academics aside, socially, what it did for me was I was like, oh, I found my, I found my people and I.

• 36:02Will Arnett?

  Sean, you know what's funny about that? Like JB, you went, you were working as a young kid. You were already working as an actress. So you, you were already sort of socializing and you were already doing that. You were out of the house in effect.

• 36:12Sean Hayes?

  With your peers.

• 36:13Will Arnett?

  I had gone to boarding school at age 12, so I was already out, like I'd already gone, you know what I mean?

• 36:18Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that was like an early college boarding school.

• 36:20Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah. I should, I should have studied something to fall back on.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  See, I think that's important to note though. I think that, that everyone, and I, I, I really believe that everybody needs structure. And, and a purpose.

• 36:35Sean Hayes?

  That's what it is. That's what it is.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  And a community and socializing, all of that I love about, about school. And, and if you're not ready.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  To jump off the diving board into the pool with no water in it, you know, so to speak, because you don't know what you're gonna do. And that's probably a great decision, because then you'll figure it out.

• 36:56Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I, I, because I went to, I went to college knowing I was going to study music. That's it. So I had, I had a purpose.

• 37:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 37:05Sean Hayes?

  Uh, but you're right.

• 37:05Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 37:06Sean Hayes?

  You're right, Chris, about what you said is like, if you don't, I love that. If you're driving, diving into a pool with no water, you probably, there's no reason.

• 37:13Will Arnett?

  No, and, and Sean, the music that you studied, it did help you. What has been a big part of what you do. Well, yeah, no, but continuing on and like you wouldn't have done Good Night Oscar.

• 37:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, all of it.

• 37:24Will Arnett?

  At the Tabasco.

• 37:25Jason Bateman?

  What a show. This is a program.

• 37:29Will Arnett?

  But had you not done that, you wouldn't have had the skill to do that, right?

• 37:32Sean Hayes?

  Totally. One thing leads to another, but, but I'm lucky, like we're all lucky. The four of us talking right now, and there's many people that we know that are lucky. That if you know, if you have a passion inside of you early on, as a, as a kid, and you, you, you know what you love to do, the earlier you know what to, the earlier you know what you love to do, the more success you're likely to have later.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  A thousand percent. And it's like Jason said, he had a direction. Like he knew that's what he wanted to do. So why, why, why I'm over here with, you know, all my energy needs to go to my dream. And in order to accomplish my dreams, it needs incredible focus and dedication to this. It doesn't mean you're, you know, sitting at home, playing video games, doing something.

• 38:15Will Arnett?

  No, and you need to pay the rent too, right JB? I mean, for real.

• 38:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 04

  Yeah. You gotta keep the lights on.

• 38:21Sean Hayes?

  So wait, so Chris, so, so the, so then talk to me about Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Like, how did it start? What did it do for you? Were you apprehensive about doing it? Because you're like, oh my God, there's cameras, like what? And what was your perception of beginning the show? And when did it start to change?

• 38:40Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. And did this start, did this start, does the story right where Ryan Seacrest started talking to you about this perhaps, and on the heels of the Osbournes getting a lot of traction and is this, is the timing right? Do I have that right? No.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  Right. Um, so I think a lot of people talk to me and, um,

• 39:03Speaker 04

  And a couple of my older kids from time to time, but always, I mean, for years had said to me, you're family, you've got to do a reality show. Nobody would believe what goes on in this, it's this life of yours. Today's Brady Bunch. And it was just, you couldn't make any of it up. And so I eventually decided to create this show in my mind, and it kind of lived up there for a while. And then I remember we had been approached by a company years ago, and they thought it was a good idea. And my, my best friend was living in New York, and she was doing a talk show,

• 39:47Speaker 04

  Kathie Lee Gifford. And Kathie would go, you guys, you know, she was Kendall and Kylie's godmother. And she would, you know, when, when they were born, and she would always go, oh, my God, you guys are wild. You know, this is crazy. And she'd come visit and think, people have got to see what's going on. And I just thought it was normal. You know, I thought I'm living the life. And one night, this girl, Deena Katz, came over to my house, and she's the casting director for many shows, amongst them Dancing with the Stars and things like that. And she's close friends with Ryan Seacrest. So she came over, and she couldn't believe what was happening in my house on like a Tuesday. Wait, what's going on over there? For spaghetti. For spaghetti, yeah.

• 40:28Jason Bateman?

  What was going on over there?

• 40:30Speaker 04

  I mean, just the people that would call or stop by, just a lot of, you know, celebrity interaction and drama and just wild. It was just extraordinary. And she would listen to my life and think it was, you know, wild. And so she said, I'm going to present this to Ryan Seacrest. So the next day, I spoke to Ryan's team and went in for a meeting a couple of days later. They had just signed a production deal with E, NBC Comcast. And they then, you know, Ryan presented it to the network. They picked it up. And 30 days later, we were shooting Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Wow. So it happened really fast.

• 41:13Jason Bateman?

  Well, how was, what was the conversation like with, with the kids? Like, did it take, do you have to twist any arms? Or were they excited about the idea?

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Listen, at that point, and I mean, to this day, I'm still at the, I'm still their manager. But at the time, I was nobody's manager. I was, Courtney and I were working in our clothing store called Smooch, and the girls had a store called Dash nearby in Calabasas. And it was, I just said, "Family, I have this opportunity, and this is what I want us to do." And everybody said, "Okay." You know, I'm not gonna lie, Courtney kinda looked at me sideways like, "Mom." And I'm like, "Courtney, we can sell more T-shirts. Imagine. The show's in, you know, it's a global network. It'll air in 200 countries. Why not?" You know, I saw an opportunity.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  And it was, it was just something that I wanted to do because it was also gonna help me keep the lights on, if I'm being honest. It was like, income. And Kendall and Kylie were nine and 10.

• 42:23Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Kylie was nine years old.

• 42:24Sean Hayes?

  That's amazing.

• 42:25Speaker 04

  Kendall was 10. And I told them what was happening. And I said, "Guys, you don't have to be on the show, but if you wanna come and be a part of it, you can film on the weekends, or holidays, or after school, or, you know, whenever it's appropriate." And that's kinda how it got started. And that was, we started filming, I think, 2000, maybe six. It aired in 2007. And right now, we work for Disney. We're filming The Kardashians. And this is season 28.

• 42:54Sean Hayes?

  Wow, unbelievable.

• 42:56Jason Bateman?

  So what was the, what was the ask? Like, how did you present this to them? Like, was it, "Well, the cameras are only gonna be here for like, an hour a day? Or they're gonna be constantly set up? Or they're gonna be fixed cameras? And there won't be any camera operators, so you won't really know?" Like, how was it? How does it, how did it start then versus how is it now? And what were the expectations as far as their, their, their role would be?

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Right. Well, they, we all fell into it, like...

• 43:25Speaker 04

  A fish in water. It was quite extraordinary.

• 43:28Jason Bateman?

  So easy, comfortable.

• 43:29Speaker 04

  You can't do something, listen. I can create something and I can produce something. But I can't, you can't control other people, even though they're your kids. I mean, I have a great deal of, of love and respect for my children and I'm never gonna make them do something that they don't wanna do. But it was, I was in heaven because everybody, a crew shows up. We had, we started with one crew. So it's like maybe three cameras, two cameras and sound.

• 43:59Jason Bateman?

  Do they come in like seven, eight, seven AM or are they?

• 44:01Speaker 04

  Um, we started very, very early and glam at seven. But the first season, we literally were filming seven or eight days a week and about 18 hours a day. I'm not exaggerating. I thought, I don't know. I used to say to myself, I'd look in the mirror in the morning and go, I don't know if this is sustainable. What, how am I gonna get through the day? And then we would just keep filming, filming, filming. And in those days, editing, we, I, I'm probably, I, I, I don't know if this is accurate, but I'm probably one of the only, um, women in reality television world that has editing rights to our show. I am able to take anything out and.

• 44:46Jason Bateman?

  And that was from the very start? You, you.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  From day one. I said, I'm not doing this unless I, so the key to our success.

• 44:53Jason Bateman?

  And you could tell the kids, don't worry about it. We, you just let it all fly because at the end of the day.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, right. It's, and, and you know what's interesting about that is over the years from day one, when we knew we had that freedom and that kind of power, so to speak, um, it made us more comfortable. It made us, um. Be the way we always are and how we're bonded together as a family because we're very close to each other. And we were able to say things that were, you know, very intimate or, you know, only our family knew or whatever it was.

• 45:30Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  But things started to, you know, develop in a way that we, I was thinking to myself, you know, oh my goodness, this is really crazy. And knowing that we could take it out, and you know, we never did.

• 45:45Will Arnett?

  Really?

• 45:46Speaker 04

  We would come, we would have a meeting and we would say, you know, the FBI showed up today, you know, or Kylie ended up in season, episode one, season one, is a nine-year-old child on a stripper pole. And I had the, you know, and I'm looking at the footage going, how did this hap- how did this happen? I left Kim and Robin Antin in a room for five minutes and Kylie's on a stripper pole? So it was really insane. Anyway, it turns out that the things that I would remove or take out ended up to be, oh my God, the back of my hair looks crazy.

• 46:27Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  Take that out. Or I look so fat.

• 46:30Will Arnett?

  It keeps you human.

• 46:30Speaker 04

  Or can somebody fix my lipstick? Like, what? So that's the, I was so vain.

• 46:36Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 46:36Speaker 04

  In, in, like, I, I'd never really been on, I'd been on TV and I had done QVC and I had done things with Bruce Jenner and, you know, all this stuff. But I'd never been on a television show.

• 46:50Will Arnett?

  At home.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  That was unscripted like that. And it was a very vulnerable feeling.

• 46:55Will Arnett?

  I wanted to ask about that. So that starts to happen, so, right. So the vulnerability, I can only imagine because we know what it's like a little bit. We talked about it earlier about stuff happens and then people out in the world have a right to comment on it, especially now in real time and stuff just.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 47:12Will Arnett?

  To, to go through that experience, especially early on, when it was like early social media days when you guys started. It was really early. I mean, and, and to, to have. People commenting on your life, on your parenting, like you say, the stripper pole.

• 47:29Jason Bateman?

  Have opinions.

• 47:30Will Arnett?

  All the thing, and your kids growing up, and people have opinions in real time. There's nobody bigger than you guys at a certain point. You sort of, you guys rocket to fame, and everybody in the world has an opinion on you and your family and your kids and blah, blah, blah. How did you kind of meet that and ride with that over the years? As you say, you just finished season 28. You've obviously found a place and a way to accommodate that.

• 47:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 47:57Will Arnett?

  But what was that like? What was that learning curve like to deal with that?

• 48:01Speaker 04

  You know what? I think it was one day at a time. It was leaning on each other. It was learning from one another. It was understanding that it takes an entire village to do what we do. And then it was all these realizations over the years that occurred to us. And first of all, we had to have really thick skin. And I said to my kids very early on, because they were a lot younger. I mean, when I started the show, I had no grandchildren. Now I have 13. I mean, like, the life changes so fast.

• 48:45Jason Bateman?

  That's amazing.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  So I said to my children, because they were young enough for me to tell them what to do still, and I do tell them what to do every single day, but sometimes they don't listen. So I told them, nobody's going on the internet. Nobody's engaging in the bullshit. And that was after the first episode. And, you know, I had even close friends that I trusted that would have one eyebrow up going, really? The stripper pole? Not knowing that Oprah just had the stripper pole, you know, on an episode of her show because it was the new exercise, you know? The craziness that everybody was doing this. And, you know, Robin Antin had come over to show Kim how to use it because Kim had bought me one for Mother's Day and to do my exercise, you know?

• 49:30Speaker 04

  And Kylie ends up on it, but, you know, it was just, they wanted to edit it a certain way. And it wasn't really edited. It was just like, people took it a certain way.

• 49:40Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 49:41Speaker 04

  And I just said, let it fly. We know, we know what happened. Like, who cares?

• 49:45Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, I would imagine that a lot of this stuff, the element of... The world now being, having access inside the serenity of somebody's home, I can imagine would only make you guys closer in that you guys are the only ones that know the real story. Right. Who we really are, what we really feel. Oh, yeah. Juxtaposed to this outside opinion multiplied by millions. I guess you were kind of forced to quickly say, well, that's their kind of idea, their opinion, their narrative versus what the real thing is, almost makes you guys even

• 50:27Jason Bateman?

  more solid and intimate and a unit. Yes?

• 50:34Speaker 04

  I think so. I think we felt really close. We felt like we could always help each other out. I remember, you know, when we first started the show, for example, there was no Instagram. There was no Snapchat.

• 50:49Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 50:49Speaker 04

  There was barely Twitter.

• 50:50Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 50:51Speaker 04

  And Ryan Seacrest called me up one day and he goes, you know, you might want to tell Kim about this little thing called Twitter. I'm not really sure what it is. I'm like, Twitter? What is Twitter? And so, you know, Kim, you got to get on Twitter. And, you know, we just helped each other learn and grow. And it takes a village to do what we're doing. And then on top of all of it, the years went by and we realized how many thousands of people we employ, who the network employs, the people that benefit and have... We've had people that work for us for years write to us, like write notes to us and say, you know, and hand them to us and say, thank you for changing my life. Thank you for giving me purpose. Thank you for giving me a job.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  Thank you for... You know, so you start with the smallest things, the assistants, the glam teams, the... People who are getting us from one point to another, the all the the fashion side of it, the you know, it's just tens, you know, thousands and thousands of people. And then as time went on and, you know, we started making money and we were able to give back to things that meant a lot to us and help people that were less fortunate and, you know, that felt good. And, you know, so it's been an evolution of our whole process.

• 52:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and even specifically what what the social media has has done, it wasn't around when you started. Now, of course, it's around. But the way in which you guys are such a presence there as well. And and talk to us a bit about how that that's, I think, help me, educate me. It is it is one of the major engines to some of the stuff that you that you guys do, sort of your your brand positioning and and leveraging one and and being spokesmen for other things. It all sort of exists almost entirely on some of it on this on this platform versus, you know, linear TV and and and whatnot.

• 52:53Speaker 04

  Right. It's what it's how the business has evolved for many businesses around the world. You know, having this example that was that started, actually, when Kim got on Twitter, that first that example I gave you when she first learned about it. And I remember she was the first one who really, she really educated us about, meaning my family and I, about how she could communicate with the audience and be a part of the Twitter universe by engaging in these conversations.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  And she genuinely loved it like she would. I remember the first time, and I think she was the first one to do this. She sent a tweet to her fans and to all the viewers of our show and just out there in the world. And she said, I'm gonna launch this fragrance. And here are the two. You know, packaging options, the bottles. Do you guys like this choice or this choice? You know, the pink or the black or whatever it was. And the response was overwhelming. And I knew that she was so smart and so, um, not that it was, you know, she wasn't in any way being manipulative. She was being genuinely wanting her own focus group.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  She was able to, you know, put together this group of people that she, that was, that she, no one would have had access to in the entire world, except for her. And as her numbers grew, her audience grew, our audience grew. And then one by one is as different social media platforms emerged and were developed. And as all of my, you know, me and my, my children all became, um, very active on all these social media platforms and the numbers grew and it just snowballed. And I think like if you added up all the numbers and you added up all the kids and all the platforms.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  There's a couple, you know, on, and our global network with Disney. And we're shows in over 200 countries and on and on every single day. And Disney just bought the rights to Keeping Up With The Kardashians. They just bought all the, the archive. So, you know, there's billions of people daily who are.

• 55:21Will Arnett?

  Not only that, you said that you, you know, thousands of people you employ. If you think about it, you launched an entire industry in that you guys were the, the first people to understand the power of, as you pointed out, that example with Kim, of using social media and creating that, and Jason says sort of establishing the brand and putting that out there. All these people in the world who now make a living doing that. They can all, they all have really in effect you guys to thank.

• 55:49Jason Bateman?

  Well, it's also now it's the major engine for many of the mainstream traditional legacy companies.

• 55:57Will Arnett?

  Corporations all took it from you guys, everybody.

• 55:59Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, airlines to, to media companies, to, to, to, to oil companies. Like everybody wants to figure out how to harness the power of that direct one-to-one connection to your customer. And it's about reach. It's about connecting with the people that are actually engaged with your product. You guys have this enormous.

• 56:22Jason Bateman?

  Power and influence in that space. I would imagine, and you don't have to answer this, but I would imagine that you're constantly being courted, solicited by any number of companies to help them understand how they can reach more of their customers, stay engaged with them, amplify what it is that they do.

• 56:43Will Arnett?

  Chris, wait till you see Jason's hair thing that he just did for Jen and for Anna. It's amazing.

• 56:49Jason Bateman?

  We're true, you know, listen, everyone's trying.

• 56:51Speaker 04

  That's right, Dave.

• 56:54Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 56:57Sean Hayes?

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• 57:40Sean Hayes?

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• 58:01Speaker 05

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• 58:45Speaker 05

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• 59:05Sean Hayes?

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• 59:54Sean Hayes?

  And back to the show.

• 59:57Jason Bateman?

  I would bet it's you can be, you could probably spend all your time just trying to educate people on how to best integrate.

• 1:00:08Speaker 04

  Utilize their, yeah, their social media. Well, it's like when Kylie launched her lip kit, you know, all those 10 years ago. It was insane because... I went to her about, I don't know, a month before the launch, knowing that she was gonna create this thing. She goes, "Mom, I know what I want to do for the rest of my life, and it's beauty, and I want to, you know, do this lip kit. And now, you've got to take this and run with it and figure out how to make it." And so, I contacted some people I knew that could do this. They made it. And I said, "So what are we doing about the marketing? Like, you know, we need an ad in People Magazine, and we need to have a billboard, and, you know." She goes, "Are we okay, Mom? Like, I know what I'm doing, just relax." And I said, "I can't relax.

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  You just spent every dime you've ever made on Keeping Up With The Kardashians to start your own brand by yourself with your own money. And I'm a little nervous. Mom's a little, you know, you're 17 years old. So, what are you doing?" And she said, "I know what I'm doing." And so, I'll never forget the morning she launched her brand, which was the first time she disrupted an entire beauty business. Because she pressed send on the link to go buy this and put a post out, "Go buy my lip kit." And I think it was four seconds, and we thought the site crashed. Because we had to launch, you know, and it was just sold out in seconds. And then we knew, you know, and she developed,

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  that was her, that, you know, and then, then it was on. She was the first one to do that.

• 1:01:41Will Arnett?

  Chris, we need to have a meeting with you offline. We need to have an hour meeting with you.

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  Okay, guys, come on over. I'm in Khloe's podcast room, and she'll never know. So much to learn.

• 1:01:50Jason Bateman?

  So, when you say, when you say "one of the first", do you, do you mean about how sort of the brick and mortar?

• 1:01:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Jason Bateman?

  Sort of model of?

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, I think how to sell a beauty brand online like that had never been done, or any brand. Well, and also, I think Kim was probably the first to ever sell a fragrance. Think about this. Millions of fragrances online without ever smelling it.

• 1:02:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  Is that not crazy? Yeah, I'll take that fragrance. And you've never, you're trusting that you want to smell like Kim. Meanwhile, it's still, the first fragrance is still the fragrance that I wear.

• 1:02:32Sean Hayes?

  Really?

• 1:02:32Speaker 04

  Every day, and every day, somebody goes, oh, what is that? You smell so good, so I'm so proud of that moment for her.

• 1:02:40Sean Hayes?

  Were you, how was, how was the smelling sessions for that as you guys were developing that? Sniffing a bunch of stuff and narrowing down what the scent would be?

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  Kim and I, yeah, Kim and I went to a fragrance company in New York a few times. And by the way, this whole journey, everything I'm telling you, all the stories, I could go on for days, is all on film for Keeping Up with the Kardashians and now the Kardashians. And that I'm so grateful for because I have the best home movies in the world.

• 1:03:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:15Speaker 04

  And I have all these beautiful, I mean, I remember we were filming, we filmed The Birth of Mason.

• 1:03:20Sean Hayes?

  Good God.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  And I'm like, we filmed that? Like, I sit and go, we filmed that? But we did.

• 1:03:27Sean Hayes?

  I always think that's wild because my sister just sent me an audio clip that she found when she was 12 years old. And it's really scratchy and you can barely hear it. You can make, you can tell it's her, which is so different than how kids grow up now. They have everything, they have home movies every day, you know, because of social media.

• 1:03:45Jason Bateman?

  And it's high quality, it looks like yesterday.

• 1:03:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it looks like yesterday. So it's a weird thing about how memories now are stored in our brains. Different, the kids now store it differently than the four of us do. Because we didn't have that, you know, it's not archived as a kid, we didn't have any archives.

• 1:04:00Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 1:04:01Speaker 04

  Dave, can I ask you guys a question?

• 1:04:03Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:03Speaker 04

  Off topic. Um, okay, good. So, do any of you ever go back and really look at the photos?

• 1:04:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  That you have a million of in your phone? You do?

• 1:04:17Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, mostly on my kids. Oh, no, not on my phone. No, not on the phone. When I was a kid, like the actual hard copy photo that was taken. Yeah.

• 1:04:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, so, you know what I do? Uh, every year, at the end of the year, before January 1st, I edit all my photos in my phone. So I, you know how you take 75 photos of one thing?

• 1:04:37Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 04

  Edit, edit, edit, get it to where those photos on your phone are what you love.

• 1:04:42Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  And there's probably 3,000 or whatever there is.

• 1:04:45Sean Hayes?

  That's a big job.

• 1:04:46Speaker 04

  I have them taken to a very trusted printer that I've been using for since the early 90s, literally. And they print them out, and I put them in an archival photo box, and they're in my archive, and I have a hard copy of every single photo that I've ever taken. Because I'm probably the only one in my family who will do that so that, you know, many, many moons from now, they can look back and go, "I remember this." Like, going through the photos is such a thing for me, and how I have memories of my family, my grandmother, and, you know, so...

• 1:05:22Sean Hayes?

  It's more tactile.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  I think everybody should go copy their phone once a year.

• 1:05:25Sean Hayes?

  That's a great idea. Yeah.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  And archive it in a box. I think I get them at like the Container Store or something, but there's archival boxes, you can get them on Amazon. And they protect the photo. But for everyone who has kids, you know, it's so special.

• 1:05:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:05:44Speaker 04

  That's my tip for the day.

• 1:05:45Sean Hayes?

  You should have a party and just go through each page one by one, right? And just do like a four-day party of just like each page.

• 1:05:54Speaker 04

  Or turn on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

• 1:05:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, or just that.

• 1:05:58Jason Bateman?

  Chris, with all of your incredible business success, I bet you're most proud of what seems to be an incredible ability...

• 1:06:07Jason Bateman?

  To be both a manager and a mother to not one, but six of your children. And wear both of those hats in a way, because my parents were my manager as well when I was growing up. And I remember that was a tricky, challenging thing for both them and me to manage together.

• 1:06:35Speaker 04

  Navigate, yeah.

• 1:06:36Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and try to keep both of those sides of our lives pristine and honored. And where one is sort of like a peer relationship and the other one is that sort of traditional deferential relationship where, you know, the kid looks up to the parent and completely, you know, listens to and defers to and follows behind kind of thing. So they're not at odds with one another, but there's a few areas of overlap, but they are different, you know?

• 1:07:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, a lot different.

• 1:07:09Jason Bateman?

  And so your ability to do that, it seems, has been incredibly successful because all your kids, from what I can see, just seem incredibly well-grounded and kind. So can you talk a little bit about that?

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  I think, first of all, my most important role is mom. So I recognize that, and that's the most important thing in my life. And I feel like God has put me here at this point in my life to make sure they're okay. And I think every parent's dream is for your child to identify what they want to do in their life and go out there and find how their dream can come true, help them get there, set them off and set them up, and good to go. Like, that's my... I mean, when I think about my kids and I go down the line and go, okay, today, this one's okay, I gotta do da-da-da, you know? But in general, to have your kids at a really good, happy place, whether they want to be

• 1:08:07Speaker 04

  a housewife and a mom, whether they want to be an athlete, whether they're... Whatever their dream is, if they're happy, and the most important thing for me is I always say... God first, family second, everything else is third. And I've always raised my children like that. And I've always raised my kids to be, all that matters to me is that they have good hearts. They're, they have integrity, character, great character, great integrity. They would help people that in need, that need them, and they're kind. Be on time, be kind, be gentle with people. You never know what kind of a day they've been having.

• 1:08:48Speaker 04

  But stick up for yourself and be strong when you need to be strong. And all the things, you know, all the things. And it, that it means the most to me when I hear other people's experiences with my kids. And daily, if I show up to something and someone's been there before me. Like, let's say I was on this podcast and maybe one of my kids had done it. Or I, you know, somebody came up to me Saturday night at a dinner and said, I have the store in, over here where we were. And your children come in there from time to time.

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  And I've never met more kind, you know, gentle people in my life. They're the nicest people I've ever met. Every time I hear that, my heart just swells. I'm so happy because that's all that matters.

• 1:09:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you know what, Chris, it's funny you say that. So I was gonna say, and you guys will relate to this, is there's no greater feeling than when somebody says to you, hey, I just ran into your kids, your kids are great, your kids are so nice. It feels so good. You never get tired of hearing that.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Never.

• 1:09:56Will Arnett?

  When somebody compliments your kid on their character, ever. And I will say this, I don't know your kids. And I, but I have heard, and this is anecdotal, but I have heard time and time again over the years, what nice people your kids are. I'm not making this up. I have heard that so many times.

• 1:10:12Speaker 04

  That makes me so happy.

• 1:10:14Will Arnett?

  It's absolutely true. Yeah.

• 1:10:16Sean Hayes?

  I've had a couple of bad, bad encounters. I'm just gonna be honest.

• 1:10:20Will Arnett?

  That's different, Sean, though. I mean, you're so confrontational.

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  Sean, we can't hear you anymore, sorry, babe. Yep, I think your mic went out.

• 1:10:30Sean Hayes?

  No, lovely. I too have met them and they're just so genuine.

• 1:10:34Speaker 04

  They love you.

• 1:10:34Sean Hayes?

  I love them. I love you. I had that great time.

• 1:10:37Speaker 04

  I know. I know.

• 1:10:39Sean Hayes?

  Sure.

• 1:10:39Speaker 04

  I know. Our secret date.

• 1:10:41Sean Hayes?

  I'm gonna text you right after this. Okay.

• 1:10:43Speaker 04

  Wait, text me. Do I still, you guys?

• 1:10:45Sean Hayes?

  I have your number.

• 1:10:46Speaker 04

  Do I still have?

• 1:10:47Jason Bateman?

  I would imagine, I would imagine that, I mean, your days, my God, I can't imagine how full your days are. With all the, all the business stuff, all the parenting stuff, you'd, you'd have to delegate a great deal. And I'm sure you've got incredible people around you, but what is, what is the thing that you simply cannot delegate, will not delegate?

• 1:11:12Speaker 04

  Well, let's put it this way. At the end of the day, especially lately, the year started off like, whoa, like if you were on a treadmill at like level sixty-two.

• 1:11:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  I, I get at the end of the day, decision fatigue.

• 1:11:29Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:30Speaker 04

  If you can imagine. Like, I start off so early, like at 5:00 AM. I let people have access to me at that hour, meaning I, I alert people, hey, we're rolling. You know, I'll call, I'll text an attorney, a business manager, somebody in Europe, somebody in New York, like, okay, we're, you know, ready to go. And it never ends. So I think that, you know, just being able to juggle, I feel like sometimes, some days are like that guy in the circus where he's got the plates in the air and you just keep taking the stick and spinning them all, you know, just making sure they're all spinning. Some days, if they're like that, that's, that's a chill day.

• 1:12:13Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 1:12:13Speaker 04

  But if it's really buckling down, putting out fires, I mean, most days I'm a fireman. So putting out fires, making sure everybody's okay. And then, like this morning, I got a very, like a 6:00 AM call from Kylie. And she just wanted to, you know, go through something personal that she was like wanting an opinion on.

• 1:12:35Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:36Speaker 04

  So stop the, you know, the momager hat, roll into, okay. And I just got my coffee again and sat down and listened to the whole thing, gave my opinion, we're good to go. She goes, okay, it's gonna be okay, mommy. It's gonna be great. Okay, we're good. And so everybody needs, you know, that emotional. Check in every day and we all just like I get a million times a day from Chloe. I love you, Mom. Mom, you're the best. And my kids are so, Kim and I for the last two days texting, you know, all day from London and then Paris because she's at the SKIMS opening in those two cities.

• 1:13:18Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:19Speaker 04

  And then, you know, so there's always business to talk about and then an influx of photos from the event that they're at or, you know, all of it, you know, all of it. And it's been great. It's a great journey.

• 1:13:32Jason Bateman?

  What kind of crisis would it be if you woke up one day and you forgot to plug your phone in overnight?

• 1:13:38Speaker 04

  Oh, that would be bad.

• 1:13:39Jason Bateman?

  Right?

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  That would be bad.

• 1:13:40Jason Bateman?

  But I would imagine even waking up with a full charge, you're charging that phone around four o'clock every day anyway.

• 1:13:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:47Jason Bateman?

  Right?

• 1:13:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:48Jason Bateman?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  For sure. For sure. Especially if you have like a little Zoom in between.

• 1:13:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:53Speaker 04

  That's a little bit of a drainer. But it's, yeah, no, you just, you know, you have to be prepared and ready for everything, I guess. I think I'm, I'm great at multitasking.

• 1:14:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:03Speaker 04

  And I'm great at, I think I have, you know, emotionally, I'm, I'm pretty strong. I cry on a dime. I'll cry at a commercial.

• 1:14:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:16Speaker 04

  Or, you know, or if I think about something really sad, I'll, you know, I get all welly. So I try to stay out of the, that danger zone. I try to, like, we don't need any tears today. But I'm a very, I think I'm a very emotional person, but I think I have good, you know, emotional intelligence.

• 1:14:36Jason Bateman?

  You don't have to say who, but I, I would ask, is there somebody in your life, or probably a few maybe, that, that you can, that you can dump all this stuff on and you don't have to be the person who figures everything out?

• 1:14:49Sean Hayes?

  She calls me constantly.

• 1:14:51Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, Sean. Sean carries a weight around my family. It's insane.

• 1:14:56Sean Hayes?

  But you know what? I love it.

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, you do. You're good at it, too. You're a very strong, strong guy.

• 1:15:01Jason Bateman?

  What do you, what, what, what, what do people think you control that you absolutely do not?

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  A SKIMS discount.

• 1:15:13Jason Bateman?

  People wanting to get a little break because they know you.

• 1:15:16Speaker 04

  A skim's discount, yeah.

• 1:15:17Sean Hayes?

  But wait, if, yeah, but Jason's previous question was good. Of course, you don't have to say names, but who is that? Who's that person that you get to lean on at the end of the day? Is it your kids?

• 1:15:27Speaker 04

  You know what? I'll tell you something. It depends on the subject and what's going on. I do have a selection. One of my best friends, Shelly Azoff, is we'll talk about the craziest stuff and we just get each other. And then I don't have to talk to her for two weeks. She's not that person who's needy and, you know, needs me to, you know, emotionally check in with her all the time. And then my cousin Cece, but, you know, and then Cory, my partner, of course. Like my boyfriend, he's amazing. He's probably thinking, this is why. Like, sometimes I want to just go in his brain and, you know, wonder. He's probably thinking, what did I get into? But he loves us all so much and is so great.

• 1:16:10Speaker 04

  So, you know, obviously, the person that you live with is the person that, that probably hears and gets the brunt of it through and through. But you know who's so amazing and supportive are my kids? And each one for a different reason. Like, if there's real drama with somebody, I'll tell you the times. I don't know how Chloe carries it. Chloe, you guys have to, you haven't had Chloe on yet, right?

• 1:16:36Sean Hayes?

  No, no, no.

• 1:16:37Speaker 04

  Chloe is such a great guest. But Chloe, Chloe is a saint. She's an angel. She not only is like the Pied Piper with all the kids and she's the one who every single weekend has the sleepover and is making Taco Tuesdays for all the kids and having Bible study on Thursday nights for the kids at her house. And, I mean, she's like all the cousins are, you know, she's the Pied Piper. She's the cutest thing ever. But she's also got such amazing, intense, emotional support to offer if you're going through something. And she's so intelligent about stuff. It's really great. And so's Kim and all of them. I mean, I was talking to Kylie, like I said, this morning about something else, but they're

• 1:17:22Speaker 04

  all so, you know, Kendall's like my therapist. And if I want to talk about anything. In the environment, you know, Courtney's my go to. And she'll come over and throw all my pots and pans away. So, you know, they're all, we're all so connected.

• 1:17:40Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but so when, when, when the house thinned out, because I'm, I'm dealing with this now. One just went off to college and, and, and my youngest, I've got, I've got another few years. But I'm, I'm already just like dreading being an empty nester. I'm just gonna miss them so much. As, as, as your house started to thin out, and now it's just, now it's just you and Cory, right?

• 1:18:01Speaker 04

  Right, well, okay, so the part that maybe you're missing.

• 1:18:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:05Speaker 04

  Is I live in a gated community.

• 1:18:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:09Speaker 04

  And we all live down the street from each other.

• 1:18:11Jason Bateman?

  Right. So then, so it's never, so it's.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  Chloe lives next door. She lives 50 feet away.

• 1:18:15Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  So it doesn't get any closer than that without being in the same bedroom.

• 1:18:21Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 1:18:22Speaker 04

  That's great, that's great. And then I'll come home and, you know, I mean, Kendall's the only one who lives a little bit further. But everyone, we all live in the same area. We're all at each other's houses and, and, you know, I'll call Kim's house at least three times a week. Do you guys have any food over there? I'm starving.

• 1:18:42Jason Bateman?

  I don't buy it.

• 1:18:43Speaker 04

  And then somebody runs over to get it and it's like, it's very convenient.

• 1:18:46Jason Bateman?

  I can only imagine that the holidays are just like this, just like an idyllic.

• 1:18:51Speaker 04

  So fun.

• 1:18:52Jason Bateman?

  Just all those, would you say 13 grandkids running around?

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  It's our Super Bowl.

• 1:18:56Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:57Speaker 04

  It's like, it's delicious. And one of the kids has Christmas Eve. We usually do a big Christmas Eve party. And then I do Christmas morning. That's my tradition. And we have so many amazing traditions in our family. And we celebrate, you know, Groundhog's Day. We celebrate everything.

• 1:19:16Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 1:19:17Speaker 04

  We can't wait to do a party. We can't wait to celebrate somebody's special occasion or event. Or, you know, the kids graduating from kindergarten or, you know, it makes life really special.

• 1:19:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, you keeping up on all that stuff will be a full-time job for me as it is, right there. Well, she's keeping up with the Kardashians. Um, yeah, there you go.

• 1:19:37Speaker 04

  You know, when you, when you say you're, yeah, when you say your kids are, you know, like an empty nest thing and your kids are getting older and it happens so fast and. You know, I think that it's just really important to remember that we're just that that they're not far away and just create these memories and moments as much as you can to stay connected. Because people ask me a lot, how do you raise a family? You guys are all so close, genuinely close. And, you know, I often say you just, it's not something that you can really teach. It's something that you just have to feel and do.

• 1:20:18Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. I gotta tell you, we've done, how many of these have we done, you guys? A couple hundred?

• 1:20:23Will Arnett?

  We've done like, like 300?

• 1:20:25Jason Bateman?

  This is the first time, not, no joke, that I've looked at the clock and been shocked that we are at an hour 15.

• 1:20:31Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 1:20:32Jason Bateman?

  I thought, I thought we were like an hour, I thought we were like 40 minutes. I'm, first of all, I'm sorry that we're 15 minutes over.

• 1:20:38Speaker 04

  It's fine. Chloe's, Chloe's, I'm gonna have a meeting with her and we're filming our show and she's probably gonna walk into her studio and go, what the hell are you doing?

• 1:20:49Jason Bateman?

  Before, before we let you go, excuse me, I wanna, I wanna talk about All's Fair, just for one quick sec or a long sec, if you want. The, the show on Hulu, executive producing on, like, so, now, this is scripted, yes?

• 1:21:04Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:21:05Jason Bateman?

  And...

• 1:21:06Speaker 04

  Ryan Murphy's producing, writing, directing.

• 1:21:09Jason Bateman?

  And, and, and this, do you, do you prefer the scripted stuff? Do you wanna, you wanna mix it all in? Do you wanna go, you know, how much? Tell us about the ratio between scripted and unscripted going forward for you guys.

• 1:21:24Speaker 04

  So, doing an unscripted show is truly unscripted for us. We have no scripts. We, I don't even know, half the time, I'm being perfectly honest, what we're gonna film that day. I'll know on my schedule, you know, amongst all the other things I'm doing that day, it'll be glam. Kardashians is filming, you know, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I don't know what's happening. I think, you know, I knew my crew was going to be here today because I do know that we're going to film something later and I'm working with Khloe and I think Kylie's probably here. But I'm really not sure some days, like what we're eat, but it always works out and it's always magic. So that's, that's that side of it.

• 1:22:09Speaker 04

  I don't think honestly, I could do more than one of those types of shows because it's, it's not something that I want to manufacture what's going on. And at that point, what else is there to talk, you know, so it would have to be scripted. So when Ryan, Ryan Murphy came over for dinner one night and I said to Kim, come by, because as I said, we're all, we all live down the street from each other. I said, come over, Ryan Murphy's going to come over. I like, I'm so obsessed with him and we love what he does and all of that. So he came over and I remember we had a conversation and I said, why don't? He said, why don't you, you know, to Kim, you know, maybe we could work together.

• 1:22:53Speaker 04

  And I said, Ryan, maybe write a show for her. Like, why don't you write something?

• 1:22:57Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:22:58Speaker 04

  And we'll do something really exciting. In the meantime, he put her in American Horror Story, which she did a great job. And she's not a trained actress. She did phenomenal and she got, um, she was happy with it. She loved the process, which I thought was a little concerning to me because there's a lot of waiting around. There's a lot of structure. There's a lot of, it's much, much different than, oh, bring the camera over, I'll shoot it on my iPhone, you know, I'm doing a reality show. It's much, obviously you guys know that better than you're three actors, you know, we're not actors by trade.

• 1:23:32Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:23:33Speaker 04

  And so when she did it, she loved the process. And then I've suddenly got a call from Ryan and he said, I have something for you. And I said, hold up, come over, let me get my crew. So he came over to the house. We had a martini. He presented this idea for Kim for All's Fair and, um, we loved the idea. Kim signed on, they talked about who would be her co-stars. And let me tell you something. These women were so generous and kind and amazing to her and really wrapped their arms around her and Ryan Murphy surrounded her with the most incredible group of women

• 1:24:16Speaker 04

  and we had the time of our lives. She suddenly had a renewed spirit. She was making friends with people she would never, you know, have these relationships with and I saw her beaming, you know, and really enjoying what she was doing. And now got picked up for season two.

• 1:24:35Jason Bateman?

  Great.

• 1:24:36Speaker 04

  And it's, it's been, you know, Sarah, Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close and Tiana Taylor and Naomi Watts and Nisi Nash and Kim and this beautiful cast.

• 1:24:50Will Arnett?

  All-star cast.

• 1:24:51Speaker 04

  And the fashion that they all loved and they just all loved hanging out with Kim. She loved hanging out with them and I saw this genuine friendship evolve and develop over time and it's been really, really amazing for me to get to witness that for my daughter. I'm so proud of her.

• 1:25:08Sean Hayes?

  That's great. Yeah. Really, really great.

• 1:25:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. And they're, they're going into season two and that's a big deal and they start next month. So, um, so I'm really excited and now Kim is filming her fir-, well, not her first movie, but a big movie that's a comedy.

• 1:25:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:25Speaker 04

  And it's going to be really, really good. It's called Fifth Wheel.

• 1:25:28Jason Bateman?

  Very nice. That's great. I'm glad things are finally working out for you guys and, you know, you're starting to get a little wind at your backs.

• 1:25:34Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:35Speaker 04

  You know? We're just trying, man. I'm, you know, every day it's a grind.

• 1:25:40Jason Bateman?

  It's, Chris, it's just, it really is incredible. I'm, I'm so, so thankful that you, you came on and you spent more than an hour with us telling us how you've done it all and how you continue to do it all. And, uh, we're rooting for you and we'll be watching, um,

• 1:25:55Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:25:56Jason Bateman?

  all the next years going forward with, with this incredible story, truly.

• 1:26:00Speaker 04

  I appreciate you guys so much and

• 1:26:02Jason Bateman?

  Likewise.

• 1:26:03Speaker 04

  thank you for being so lovely and supportive and I'm just grateful to be a part of this.

• 1:26:11Speaker 04

  You know, life and, and the entertainment community and to be able to, to add a little something. And I just, I come from a place of incredible gratitude. So for everybody that watches our show or has given us any kind of support or kindness, or I just, you know, just, you know, being, watching from afar, it means the world. And, you know, I think that, you know, it's just, it's great to be and come from a place of gratitude and just be kind to each other.

• 1:26:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, the audience is certainly grateful for what you, what you've done.

• 1:26:44Sean Hayes?

  Well, we love you. We love you.

• 1:26:46Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:47Speaker 04

  Love you guys so much.

• 1:26:49Will Arnett?

  Thank you so much for coming.

• 1:26:51Jason Bateman?

  Truly.

• 1:26:52Speaker 04

  And Jason, I can't wait for our next vacation with Amanda.

• 1:26:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Us too. Us too. You guys figure it out. All right.

• 1:27:00Speaker 04

  All right.

• 1:27:01Jason Bateman?

  All right. Thank you very much.

• 1:27:03Speaker 04

  Bye, guys.

• 1:27:04Sean Hayes?

  Bye, honey.

• 1:27:05Speaker 04

  See ya.

• 1:27:05Jason Bateman?

  Bye, bye.

• 1:27:09Jason Bateman?

  Wow, yeah.

• 1:27:10Sean Hayes?

  Powerhouse.

• 1:27:11Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:12Will Arnett?

  Powerhouse is right.

• 1:27:12Jason Bateman?

  I didn't, I did not realize the time. I could, I could listen to her explain it all.

• 1:27:18Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 1:27:19Jason Bateman?

  For even longer.

• 1:27:20Sean Hayes?

  She's so well spoken and succinct.

• 1:27:22Jason Bateman?

  There's so much more to that story too, right? Yeah. Dang it.

• 1:27:27Sean Hayes?

  And, and you know, when I feel like lazy or something like, look at her, man.

• 1:27:31Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 1:27:32Sean Hayes?

  What?

• 1:27:32Jason Bateman?

  I, her days. She's starting at five in the morning and probably goes till 10 at night on something that you just can't phone in, right? I mean, she's got, the switch has got to be flicked on and she is just running shit. I, I, I mean, if I have like two things in my day that I've got to like focus on, I'm like, oh, damn it. Like, when, when can I put my PJs back on? If it's after four o'clock, it's just.

• 1:28:01Sean Hayes?

  Chris.

• 1:28:02Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 1:28:03Will Arnett?

  No.

• 1:28:04Jason Bateman?

  I'm kidding. These are jokes.

• 1:28:05Sean Hayes?

  But yeah, like the, I love the entrepreneurial ship and the philanthropy and she's just a cool hang.

• 1:28:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:13Sean Hayes?

  I like her.

• 1:28:14Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:14Sean Hayes?

  And, and you know, she's, she's so unique.

• 1:28:17Jason Bateman?

  Uh oh.

• 1:28:17Sean Hayes?

  She's so unique and she's so different.

• 1:28:20Will Arnett?

  It's the look on her face.

• 1:28:21Sean Hayes?

  It's really like one in a million. She's really, she's like a, a human being that's, that's not, it's not easy to come.

• 1:28:29Will Arnett?

  Bye.

• 1:28:33Sean Hayes?

  That's the sentence. Come by. It's not easy to come by. Okay, okay. Yeah, someone like her is not easy to come by. Yeah, there you go.

• 1:28:52Speaker 05

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• 1:29:38Jason Bateman?

  Hey friends, Jason here. We're so excited the Smartless has officially joined the SiriusXM family. We can't wait to announce new surprise guests who we know that you'll love. If you want to be the first to hear new episodes ad-free and a whole week early, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastsplus to start your free trial today.