Will Arnett asks about living in a TV show

Will Arnett takes a quick break from SmartLess to ask the Handsome hosts a question about their favorite sitcoms! Plus a round of "Row, Row Your Boat," a Golden Girls detour, and Fortune getting a little touchy-feely with Tig. Did we mention we have a new FORTUNE MARIE shirt at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com? Cheers! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website. With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time.

• 1:19Mae Martin?

  Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:48Mae Martin?

  Cheers.

• 1:49Tig Notaro?

  Welcome to the Handsome Pod. It's your friend Tig Notaro.

• 1:54Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm Fortune Feimster. And I'm Mae Martin, if you believe it. I can't believe it. I believe it. Believe it. Don't stop believing.

• 2:06Tig Notaro?

  You know, there's a line in that song.

• 2:08Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 2:09Tig Notaro?

  In the beginning where it says,

• 2:12Fortune Feimster?

  Something about South Detroit.

• 2:14Mae Martin?

  Born and raised in South Detroit.

• 2:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. There's no part of Detroit called South Detroit.

• 2:21Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 2:21Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:22Mae Martin?

  But, but, south is a universal direction, no?

• 2:25Fortune Feimster?

  For sure.

• 2:26Mae Martin?

  But there's no, like, area.

• 2:27Fortune Feimster?

  There's no area of Detroit called South Detroit. That's a little rock and roll trivia for you.

• 2:33Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 2:33Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:34Mae Martin?

  Does that keep you up at night?

• 2:35Fortune Feimster?

  No, I sleep fine knowing.

• 2:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Um, how are you guys sleeping these days? And how are you? Welcome back to the new year, new handsome.

• 2:43Fortune Feimster?

  I know, 2026 is upon us.

• 2:47Mae Martin?

  And we're together.

• 2:48Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:48Tig Notaro?

  We are together, feet touching.

• 2:50Fortune Feimster?

  Feet together, feet touching.

• 2:52Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, get your other foot in there.

• 2:54Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, hold on.

• 2:55Tig Notaro?

  There we are.

• 2:56Fortune Feimster?

  There we go.

• 2:57Tig Notaro?

  We did that as though that is our thing that we do.

• 2:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quick six-toe touch?

• 3:02Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm. I love the beginning of a new year.

• 3:04Mae Martin?

  Do you?

• 3:04Fortune Feimster?

  I do. I just feel hopeful every time.

• 3:07Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 3:08Fortune Feimster?

  Or like, this year, we're gonna get it right.

• 3:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:10Tig Notaro?

  And you never have, to be fair.

• 3:12Fortune Feimster?

  No, never have.

• 3:13Mae Martin?

  And we never have as a species.

• 3:15Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I will say, in comparison to the beginning of last year, Mm-hmm. this is much better.

• 3:20Mae Martin?

  Like, you're more settled. Last year, everything was up in the air. And this year, at least, you know where you are.

• 3:24Fortune Feimster?

  This last year was a nightmare.

• 3:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. So now I feel much more grounded.

• 3:29Tig Notaro?

  You made it through hell.

• 3:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:32Tig Notaro?

  And I know there's still tough days ahead.

• 3:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:36Tig Notaro?

  But my God, do I give you ongoing credit for the hell you dug through.

• 3:42Fortune Feimster?

  Aw, thanks, my friend.

• 3:43Tig Notaro?

  Truly.

• 3:44Mae Martin?

  And really, so many people, like, when I do shows and stuff, people probably tell you, like, if they're going through hard stuff, and then they listen to the pod and they're, like, your resilience is very inspiring, Fortune.

• 3:56Fortune Feimster?

  Aw, that's sweet.

• 3:57Mae Martin?

  Anyway, good night, everyone.

• 3:57Fortune Feimster?

  Good night.

• 3:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh, are you going to sleep?

• 3:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Good night.

• 3:59Tig Notaro?

  We were just talking about, um, you know, well, you were just saying, have you been sleeping? And I thought you were, like, saying goodnight, like you were gonna lie down.

• 4:08Mae Martin?

  Have you been sleeping well, though?

• 4:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I think I've been sleeping fine. I, I have been waking up earlier than I used to, in general.

• 4:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Tig Notaro?

  Like, how much earlier?

• 4:17Fortune Feimster?

  Um, like, I used to be a person that slept till, like, 9:00, 9:30.

• 4:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:22Fortune Feimster?

  Super easily. And now I'm averaging around 7:00, 7:30.

• 4:26Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 4:27Fortune Feimster?

  Just naturally. Um, I don't mind it.

• 4:30Mae Martin?

  Are you going to bed earlier?

• 4:32Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, I'm trying to, yeah. Although, I did stay up and I got sucked into a show that has been capturing the hearts of girls and gays everywhere.

• 4:43Mae Martin?

  Is it the hockey gay one?

• 4:45Fortune Feimster?

  It is, indeed, my friend.

• 4:46Mae Martin?

  I need to watch it.

• 4:47Fortune Feimster?

  It is called, uh, Heated Rivalry. And it is on HBO.

• 4:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:53Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, and it's got all the gays and all the girls in a chokehold.

• 4:59Mae Martin?

  Cause it's hot.

• 4:59Fortune Feimster?

  It's hot.

• 5:00Mae Martin?

  Gay hockey players.

• 5:01Fortune Feimster?

  Gay hot.

• 5:01Mae Martin?

  Having hot gay sex.

• 5:03Fortune Feimster?

  But they're also having like, hot sex and also loving sex.

• 5:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and also I know I'm gonna watch it and, cause everyone's talking about the sex. I know I'm gonna watch it and it's gonna be like, half as much sex as a straight show. But people just talk about it way more.

• 5:16Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I think it's just like, it's just different than any.

• 5:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:20Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, portrayal of it that you've seen in media. Like, there's a more of a, there's a hotness to it and some, sometimes then there's a tenderness to it and other times. In a way that they don't depict males often. And girls are really into it.

• 5:33Mae Martin?

  Wait, oh, it's gay guys?

• 5:35Fortune Feimster?

  Gay guys, yeah.

• 5:36Mae Martin?

  Interesting.

• 5:37Fortune Feimster?

  And they're closeted hockey players that are like, meeting up and banging and it's.

• 5:44Mae Martin?

  I thought you were saying it was gay women playing hockey.

• 5:48Fortune Feimster?

  Men, and it's got the world, caught the world by storm.

• 5:52Mae Martin?

  But you know how like, the, the cliches that like, straight men watch lesbian porn?

• 5:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Mae Martin?

  I do watch gay male, like, I'm.

• 5:59Fortune Feimster?

  I, I think a lot of people, like, a lot of, um.

• 6:03Mae Martin?

  Non-men.

• 6:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, non-men.

• 6:06Mae Martin?

  Watch gay male porn, yeah. Yeah, cause it's hot, cause, yeah, yeah.

• 6:09Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, do you watch gay male?

• 6:11Fortune Feimster?

  I don't, but I'm really into this series.

• 6:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:14Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I'm in, and I'm enjoying.

• 6:16Tig Notaro?

  Porn, do you, do you watch a lot of porn?

• 6:18Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 6:19Tig Notaro?

  Do you watch a little bit of porn?

• 6:20Fortune Feimster?

  No, I haven't watched it in so long.

• 6:22Tig Notaro?

  Like, how long? Are we talking weeks?

• 6:24Fortune Feimster?

  No, like, years, I haven't watched it.

• 6:27Mae Martin?

  Did you ever watch the original Queers Folk?

• 6:29Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:30Mae Martin?

  That was hot.

• 6:30Fortune Feimster?

  Really good.

• 6:31Mae Martin?

  That was good.

• 6:32Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I would say, yeah, this show is like, these, these men are very attractive.

• 6:38Mae Martin?

  And you were binging this and you didn't sleep?

• 6:40Fortune Feimster?

  And I stayed up later than I should.

• 6:43Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 6:43Fortune Feimster?

  Cause I was like, well, I can't quit now. I gotta see what happens in episode five.

• 6:47Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 6:47Tig Notaro?

  And what happened in episode five?

• 6:49Fortune Feimster?

  Um, it really leaves on a cliffhanger of, um, well, I don't want to give it away.

• 6:56Mae Martin?

  Don't, no, I'm gonna watch it.

• 6:57Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna give it away.

• 6:59Tig Notaro?

  Can you just tell me then?

• 7:01Fortune Feimster?

  No. You need to wa, you should watch it too. I think y'all would be into it.

• 7:05Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 7:06Mae Martin?

  How, how are you feeling about the start of the year?

• 7:08Tig Notaro?

  I'm feeling really good. I, um, yeah, do you want to hold hands?

• 7:13Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:14Tig Notaro?

  I'm happy to hold hands. Do you want to hold hands?

• 7:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:16Tig Notaro?

  I'm feeling good about the new year.

• 7:18Mae Martin?

  Year of the horse.

• 7:20Tig Notaro?

  I'm getting a horse?

• 7:21Mae Martin?

  You're getting a horse.

• 7:22Fortune Feimster?

  You're getting a horse.

• 7:23Mae Martin?

  You're.

• 7:23Fortune Feimster?

  And you get a horse. And you get a horse.

• 7:26Mae Martin?

  No, it's the year of the horse.

• 7:28Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I thought you said you're getting a horse.

• 7:30Mae Martin?

  You're getting a horse.

• 7:31Tig Notaro?

  You're getting a horse.

• 7:32Fortune Feimster?

  Colorado.

• 7:33Tig Notaro?

  Um, yeah, no, I'm, uh, I, I, I feel like I've teed life up where I want it.

• 7:40Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 7:40Tig Notaro?

  At fifty-four. It's so crazy how long it takes humans to evolve.

• 7:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're.

• 7:45Tig Notaro?

  And change.

• 7:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:47Tig Notaro?

  And, and, and, and I, I do feel like this year, everything feels pretty much in place. And I'm, I'm ready to live life with things in place.

• 8:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Carl, Carl Jung said, "Life begins at forty. Everything up until then is just research."

• 8:06Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my.

• 8:07Mae Martin?

  And I'm really holding on to that.

• 8:08Tig Notaro?

  For sure.

• 8:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I, I feel like, um, lighter. I feel good. I went to Toronto and like, I was, so many friends going through tough stuff. And it gave me perspective. And then I also, I was at like a, a wake and, um, one of the, the grieving husband of the person who, who had passed. After I left the wake, apparently said to my friend, "So nice to see May. I hope they figure out the riddle of their life."

• 8:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 8:38Mae Martin?

  She passed this on to me. And I was like, am I giving, am I giving off I haven't figured out the riddle of my life? But I loved it. It's haunted me and it's made me think, yeah, I gotta figure out the riddle of my life.

• 8:49Tig Notaro?

  I would be very excited by that. And I would say.

• 8:53Mae Martin?

  It's a great way to look at it. Like, we all have a riddle of our life. And that's our mission, is to solve that riddle. And the joy is trying to solve it. Like, we might not.

• 9:03Tig Notaro?

  I would say the complicated and exciting part of you is that your life definitely feels like a riddle.

• 9:09Mae Martin?

  Like a riddle.

• 9:10Tig Notaro?

  But, but, but really, like, um, you know, there's so many people where I just feel like you have had and will continue, it's a very full life.

• 9:24Mae Martin?

  There's a curiosity and a change.

• 9:27Tig Notaro?

  And you're a very curious person.

• 9:29Mae Martin?

  Very. And I like a mystery. I like an escape room. So I like approaching it that way, being like, yeah. So I came back feeling good. And then I volunteered at this, and everyone, if you're in LA, food on foot is called. And it's, you can go every Sunday if you want. It's like handing out food to unhoused people. And I was just like, fucking hell, because I've been feeling so paralyzed by how bad the news is. And we're just, you feel like hopeless. But really, if you do things in your immediate community, like if everyone did that, the massive change would be crazy. And I felt like, oh, it's, I can do something. I'm not. Because imagine, like, we're all reading the news about, like, anti-trans laws and all this stuff.

• 10:11Mae Martin?

  But if everyone in their small town, like, supported their local LGBT center, called their representatives, whatever, in your immediate vicinity, it would make a huge difference. So that's my little spiel. I'm feeling very positive.

• 10:24Tig Notaro?

  And so you, um, was that your first experience with food on foot?

• 10:29Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  And there's not actual food on your feet?

• 10:32Mae Martin?

  There's no, there's no food on my feet.

• 10:34Tig Notaro?

  Right.

• 10:34Mae Martin?

  And I went with my friend Matt, who I, who lives with me.

• 10:37Tig Notaro?

  Sure. He lives in your, he's free range. He lives in your backyard. He's the one that wanders by your window occasionally.

• 10:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it was just amazing that they, it's food and clothes and stuff. And you handed out and 400 people showed up to, I mean, to make use of it. And I kind of thought it would be one of those things where it was like, Super privileged people, just like getting a selfie of them volunteering, but it was like.

• 11:03Tig Notaro?

  Which is always helpful.

• 11:04Mae Martin?

  Which is always helpful. I mean, I did take a selfie. You're like, I gotta get grateful for this. But like, they are really in need of volunteers. Like, they really like are in need every Sunday. And then they also have a program that helps people get housing, get training, get sober, get.

• 11:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:23Mae Martin?

  It's like they, they stay with these people. And while we were there, this woman graduated and got the keys to her first ever apartment. She's in her 40s.

• 11:31Tig Notaro?

  So cool.

• 11:32Mae Martin?

  And it was like, oh my God. So it may, yeah, like you can't not leave feeling grateful and positive and yeah.

• 11:39Tig Notaro?

  And, and as a reminder too, I've told you guys about that place where we deliver food every Sunday.

• 11:45Mae Martin?

  What is that?

• 11:46Tig Notaro?

  It's called Hang Out Do Good.

• 11:48Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 11:48Tig Notaro?

  And it's different houses around the town, around Los Angeles.

• 11:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 11:53Tig Notaro?

  That are every Sunday, rain or shine, you, you pull up, you drop off prepared food.

• 12:00Mae Martin?

  Prepared, okay.

• 12:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, like sandwiches, snacks, all sorts of things in a bag. You put it on the people's yard or front step. And, and the people that have, you know, made their home the drop off, they take all of the food and go deliver it.

• 12:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:18Tig Notaro?

  That's awesome. And it's just, you know, if you don't have a huge amount of time.

• 12:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:23Tig Notaro?

  Um, and you know, we're busy on the weekends with our kids, but we get up every Sunday.

• 12:27Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's good.

• 12:28Tig Notaro?

  Put the meals together and we go drop it off.

• 12:30Mae Martin?

  That's so good.

• 12:31Tig Notaro?

  And you can, you know, they have it online, tell you where the nearest one.

• 12:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's amazing.

• 12:36Tig Notaro?

  So anyway, it's, uh, even aside from holiday time, just like if you have to remember these people are in need.

• 12:43Mae Martin?

  All year round. Yeah. I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep going. And then like this unhoused person is walking past my table and goes, you're, did you forget something today? And I said, uh, what do you mean? And he goes, did you forget how beautiful you are?

• 12:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 13:00Mae Martin?

  My God, my heart. Like.

• 13:02Tig Notaro?

  That's a good line.

• 13:03Mae Martin?

  Thank you. Yeah.

• 13:05Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna use that one. Did you forget something?

• 13:07Mae Martin?

  Did you forget something? Did you forget how beautiful you are? It was really charming.

• 13:10Tig Notaro?

  My goodness. And what did you say to them?

• 13:12Mae Martin?

  I honestly was like.

• 13:15Mae Martin?

  I did not forget anything. Yeah, I went, yeah, I said, yeah, I did forget.

• 13:22Fortune Feimster?

  What if you're like, actually I didn't?

• 13:23Mae Martin?

  No, I always remember that.

• 13:25Fortune Feimster?

  That's one thing I never forget.

• 13:29Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's great.

• 13:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:30Fortune Feimster?

  I love that.

• 13:31Mae Martin?

  It was good, man.

• 13:32Tig Notaro?

  I love you too.

• 13:32Fortune Feimster?

  I love you too. Oh, I have a gift from a handsome listener.

• 13:39Mae Martin?

  Girl.

• 13:40Tig Notaro?

  Girl, show it to us.

• 13:41Fortune Feimster?

  It's, I don't know if.

• 13:43Mae Martin?

  Give me mine.

• 13:44Fortune Feimster?

  This is for Tig, because it has your name on it. And there's, it says, Cat Lady.

• 13:49Mae Martin?

  Cat Lady, that's me.

• 13:50Fortune Feimster?

  And this is May, question mark. I don't know why this has a question mark.

• 13:52Mae Martin?

  Question mark?

• 13:53Fortune Feimster?

  And then there's a letter here. Sometimes when we do live shows, someone will hand me something for all of you.

• 14:00Tig Notaro?

  Oh, it's soap.

• 14:02Fortune Feimster?

  So, this says, Fortune Tig in May, wishing you the most wonderful Christmas and the happiest new year ever. I haven't seen you guys to give you this earlier. Thank you for being amazing. Cheers, Jillian. This lovely woman in Florida, in Orlando, also had sent my mom a bunch of candles that she makes.

• 14:21Mae Martin?

  Oh, no way.

• 14:21Fortune Feimster?

  And then my sister-in-law ended up ordering a bunch of them because she liked them so much, but I guess she also makes soap.

• 14:27Tig Notaro?

  That's amazing.

• 14:28Mae Martin?

  It smells amazing.

• 14:29Tig Notaro?

  And is she Cat Lady, or is that?

• 14:32Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 14:33Tig Notaro?

  Please don't touch mine.

• 14:34Fortune Feimster?

  No, her thing is jilliansays.com. Wait, I think she just did Cat Lady for you.

• 14:40Tig Notaro?

  Okay, yeah, that's me.

• 14:41Mae Martin?

  I will say, this has coconut oil in it, so I cannot use it, but I was, I have a date tomorrow. Do you think I should give? No, that'd be weird.

• 14:50Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 14:50Mae Martin?

  I can't give a bar of soap.

• 14:52Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I have another one that, I'll take that one and bring, when I see you later, I can exchange you.

• 14:58Tig Notaro?

  Fortune has a bunch of things she hasn't given us.

• 15:00Fortune Feimster?

  She gave me two. She gave me one for me.

• 15:03Tig Notaro?

  Being greedy.

• 15:04Fortune Feimster?

  She gave me one for me, but it might not have coconut oil in it.

• 15:06Mae Martin?

  I bet they all do. It smells so good, though. Can I give it to someone?

• 15:11Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna say yes.

• 15:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm not gonna give it to someone on a first date.

• 15:15Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, don't take a first one.

• 15:17Mae Martin?

  Here's a bar of soap.

• 15:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, no.

• 15:18Tig Notaro?

  You can give it on the last date.

• 15:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, which might be the first, the same day.

• 15:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I don't think I realized that the coconut, I felt with you and coconut, it was only ingesting it.

• 15:28Mae Martin?

  Well.

• 15:29Tig Notaro?

  Your body is ingesting it, right?

• 15:31Mae Martin?

  We don't know for sure.

• 15:32Tig Notaro?

  When it's on your skin.

• 15:33Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but I had no like seep in like that.

• 15:36Mae Martin?

  Well, I had a massage with coconut oil and afterwards I just felt really like red and itchy and like woozy. But it could be in my head. We don't know. I've never been tested for this allergy.

• 15:46Fortune Feimster?

  That's true. Well, I think that would make a lovely gift to someone then.

• 15:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it would.

• 15:50Fortune Feimster?

  But don't say I didn't ever bring you back handsome presents.

• 15:53Mae Martin?

  I will never say that again.

• 15:54Tig Notaro?

  I, I will.

• 15:55Fortune Feimster?

  Tell you will say it.

• 15:56Tig Notaro?

  I'll keep saying it.

• 15:57Fortune Feimster?

  I always try to bring y'all stuff back if someone gives it to me, but let's not go crazy. I only have so much room in my bag, people.

• 16:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:03Fortune Feimster?

  So let's not, let's not do that every time.

• 16:11Tig Notaro?

  And do they throw it on stage at you?

• 16:13Fortune Feimster?

  No, she was in the meet and greet. So that was a very nice gesture.

• 16:17Tig Notaro?

  I was going to do meet and greet this tour.

• 16:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, you were going to.

• 16:21Tig Notaro?

  I backed out. Yeah, I was like, I, I, I told my agent, I was like, you know what? I will do meet and greet this year. And then when I started thinking about it, I was like, I don't know.

• 16:32Mae Martin?

  It is like, cause it'll, it will, it does add like two hours to, you, you do your hour and a half show.

• 16:37Fortune Feimster?

  It shouldn't be two hours. You're doing so much.

• 16:40Tig Notaro?

  You're wildly popular.

• 16:41Fortune Feimster?

  I think you're doing too much.

• 16:42Mae Martin?

  I think I'm spending too much time with each person.

• 16:44Fortune Feimster?

  It should not be two hours for sure.

• 16:46Mae Martin?

  I'm excited to go to all, all these cities I've never been to.

• 16:48Fortune Feimster?

  I know. You got your big tour. That's, when's that start?

• 16:51Mae Martin?

  Uh, end of February.

• 16:53Fortune Feimster?

  Ooh.

• 16:54Mae Martin?

  I'm scared though about like, I just saw in, in, in Texas, they're making this rule that you're allowed to take pictures of people you suspect are trans in the bathroom.

• 17:02Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really?

• 17:03Mae Martin?

  And then upload them to a helpline.

• 17:04Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 17:06Mae Martin?

  Uh, reporting it. And then they're offering cash prizes to people who turn in.

• 17:10Fortune Feimster?

  Prizes?

• 17:11Mae Martin?

  Uh, cash incentives. If you report on like someone who is propagating trans ideology, like it's getting really. Not to be a downer, but it is nerve wracking. I guess I'll just pee on the bus.

• 17:23Fortune Feimster?

  That is nerve wracking.

• 17:24Mae Martin?

  I'll pee on my tour bus.

• 17:25Fortune Feimster?

  Or where in Texas are you going?

• 17:27Mae Martin?

  To the helpline.

• 17:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Where in Texas will you be?

• 17:30Mae Martin?

  I'm going to Da- the, the ma- the big cities. So, yeah, yeah.

• 17:34Fortune Feimster?

  You should be alright.

• 17:35Mae Martin?

  It's like, I don't want to cancel because what's nice is that maybe people in those small towns will come to.

• 17:39Fortune Feimster?

  For sure. You should definitely do it.

• 17:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Weird times though.

• 17:43Tig Notaro?

  Yes. Yes, indeed.

• 17:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:45Tig Notaro?

  Why do you live here?

• 17:47Mae Martin?

  I don't know.

• 17:48Tig Notaro?

  I mean, truly, I just look at people that have the option to not.

• 17:52Mae Martin?

  Right. Oh, I see. Yeah.

• 17:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:54Mae Martin?

  You were thinking about Toronto for a while, right? You guys?

• 17:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's not off the table.

• 17:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:59Tig Notaro?

  But.

• 18:00Fortune Feimster?

  I would miss you too much.

• 18:01Mae Martin?

  Well, we're bringing you with us. If they go, I'm going in a little sidecar. Yeah, wagon attached to your car.

• 18:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that seems safe.

• 18:09Mae Martin?

  Getting a wagon attached to mine.

• 18:10Tig Notaro?

  Like a little red wagon that we would pull behind the car?

• 18:13Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's cute.

• 18:14Mae Martin?

  We saw it from a wood of wed wagon.

• 18:15Tig Notaro?

  A wood of wed wagon.

• 18:17Mae Martin?

  Is that Fred Willard, I think? I got a wed, I got a wheel wed wagon.

• 18:21Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, like on Best in Show or something?

• 18:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:24Fortune Feimster?

  Probably.

• 18:25Tig Notaro?

  Oh, man.

• 18:26Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 18:27Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 18:28Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 18:29Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my goodness, you guys.

• 18:31Tig Notaro?

  And wait, I feel like you went and saw somebody that told you.

• 18:36Mae Martin?

  Oh, the psychic?

• 18:37Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 18:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I, I, okay, also, what will I say? I had an experience with the psychic that was so crazy that I'm keeping it, I just told you before we started recording.

• 18:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:49Mae Martin?

  But maybe I won't say it on the pod because I think people think I'm insane on this podcast.

• 18:52Tig Notaro?

  For sure.

• 18:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they think I'm fucking nuts.

• 18:55Fortune Feimster?

  That's why they tune in. No, they're just, you just like some woo woo stuff.

• 18:59Tig Notaro?

  No, they know that they're following you with your riddle of life.

• 19:04Mae Martin?

  Yes, exactly.

• 19:05Tig Notaro?

  And this is just part of it.

• 19:06Fortune Feimster?

  Part of the riddle.

• 19:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah, all right.

• 19:07Tig Notaro?

  Good point, Tig. Thank you.

• 19:09Fortune Feimster?

  You're welcome.

• 19:10Mae Martin?

  Because I'm also like, I'm also interested in what does this mean sociologically? The way we, a lot of people, especially Gen Z, are turning to things like magic and manifestation and spells like.

• 19:25Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really?

• 19:25Mae Martin?

  And it's a very individualistic inward looking thing.

• 19:30Tig Notaro?

  Wait, I'm sorry. Yeah, you, you can't just casually say Gen X is turning to magic.

• 19:35Mae Martin?

  Gen Z.

• 19:36Tig Notaro?

  Gen Z.

• 19:37Mae Martin?

  They're like, got a coin.

• 19:40Mae Martin?

  Close up magic with top hats.

• 19:43Tig Notaro?

  I did a show at Largo last night.

• 19:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:46Tig Notaro?

  And it was crazy when I, when I interacted with somebody in the audience.

• 19:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:54Tig Notaro?

  He was a magician. And then another magician was there. No. He was like, hey, Brent, is that you? Yeah, it's Mike. No way. And I was, when I was on stage, I was like, okay, it's so dark in this theater. I would have assumed it's just a sea of lesbians. Right. But it's white, middle aged, balding magicians. I didn't know that was my sweet spot. How is that your demographic? I don't know. I mean, everyone is welcome at my show. I was just like, whoa, look at this. Look at this. Also, I have to just say this, because I, you know when you miss a moment? Yeah. And you're like, I want to go back in time. Yeah.

• 20:38Tig Notaro?

  One of the Go-Go's was at my show. Oh, really? That's big for, that's like your people. Yes. Okay, how do I know? Yeah. I was talking to her. Whoa. Okay. There you go. And so. I was worried you didn't meet her. Well, she, I do this thing where I'll, I'll talk to the audience and ask them, like, if they know anyone famous. Oh, really? And this woman. That's so funny. Wait, so you just say, does anyone here know anyone famous? Yeah, and it's just such a fun, it's so fun to follow. Well, especially in LA, there's, the likelihood is high. So I'm talking to her, and she says, I know Belinda Carlisle. Uh huh. And I was like, and it's so dark, okay? She's second row, and I'm like, how do you know Belinda Carlisle? Yeah.

• 21:21Tig Notaro?

  And she's like, well, I've been in a band with her for over 40 years. I was like, wait, you're a Go-Go? That's hilarious. And she's like, yeah, and I go, what's your name? And she said, um, Charlotte. And then I was like, oh my gosh. And then I wanted to say her last name. Yeah. But I was scared that I was remembering it wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that I was gonna be saying, I thought it was a girl's name from my childhood. Yeah. And that was the moment I missed because I wanted to blow her mind. As soon as we, as soon as we got in the car to leave, I looked up her last name and I turned to Stephanie and I was like,

• 22:03Tig Notaro?

  I had it right. And I just wanted to, and Stephanie is like, you should look her up online and tell her. And I go, I missed the moment.

• 22:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:11Tig Notaro?

  But if she's listening, what she claimed, she goes, I am a huge fan of yours. If you are listening, Charlotte.

• 22:17Mae Martin?

  Tig knew.

• 22:18Tig Notaro?

  I knew.

• 22:18Mae Martin?

  What is it?

• 22:19Tig Notaro?

  Kathy.

• 22:20Mae Martin?

  Charlotte Kathy.

• 22:21Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 22:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, nice.

• 22:22Tig Notaro?

  And, but I was convinced, I, I was like, I'm pulling up my childhood friend's name. Anyway. But that was just a thrill. And I got to tell her that when Max and Finn were babies, we used to put them in these little bouncy chairs. And they would bounce to We Got The Beat. And we have videos of them just like bouncing and kicking their little feet.

• 22:42Mae Martin?

  That's good.

• 22:42Tig Notaro?

  And when I told her that, she was like, oh my gosh. She was so happy.

• 22:46Mae Martin?

  I love that. That's a great sighting for you.

• 22:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it was really, really fun.

• 22:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah. It's right in your wheelhouse, right?

• 22:52Tig Notaro?

  Oh my God, the guitarist of the Go-Go's sitting right there. Sweet spot.

• 22:58Mae Martin?

  I mean, less magicians and more like. Magicians. Like. Like spells? Like people are getting into tarot. They're getting into like, yeah, esoteric, kind of like quantum stuff. Like, that's where we're drifting. And I am interested in that. And I don't think it's a bad thing, but I also don't think it's necessarily a good thing. Cause it's very solipsistic. It's like, it's very like, I'm in control. I can manifest my destiny. Me, me, me, you know, and we're, anyway, what was my point? Uh, oh, I went to see a psychic. Oh, there we go. Talking about it in case people think I'm crazy, but. I think people talk to psychics a lot.

• 23:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 23:37Mae Martin?

  Okay. At least in LA. Cause I saw this woman about a year and a half ago or longer now, when I was still in a relationship. And I was like, yeah, um, everything's great. Next year, I'm really going to be like nesting. And she was like, I don't know about that, but. Oh, really? I was kind of like, fuck you. So, but I remember. This was a different psychic. No, same woman. Same one, okay. So I remembered, I was like, oh, she was pretty on point. And she said some other stuff. And so I went back.

• 24:05Tig Notaro?

  And you were just like, don't say I'm not nesting next year. I'm gonna nest so hard.

• 24:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:10Tig Notaro?

  You're wrong, man.

• 24:12Mae Martin?

  That was my vibe. I was like, okay. Really, this psychic is not good. Yeah. And then, so I went to see her in Toronto and, um, Yeah, I was just. Did you have to confess she was right that you're not nesting? Yeah, I was like. Hey, I have some news. Yeah, then I, she said, look into, so she's saying all kinds of stuff and I'm crying. It's just like therapy, right? Cathartic. It's cathartic. I'm talking about life and. And by the way, you sound crazy right now. I know. No, go ahead. She's messing with you. And then she goes, um, look into my left eye and, and I look into her eye. Okay, all I'm gonna say is, I start tripping out.

• 24:55Mae Martin?

  Like, I see her face change and I've never had, I'm, I've never had an experience like this. When I'm not on psychedelics, like it, her face sort of went, became an old woman's face. This is broad daylight. Like 54? We're talking. Like around my age? 90s. Like, she suddenly looked like you. Almost like Mother Teresa. Like me? She had one, she had a droopy eye. She had a droopy eye like me. Your face.

• 25:25Mae Martin?

  And then, um, anyway, it, it, it was, yeah, and then. It was what? I was just seeing her face change into different faces. And was that helpful for your life? I started laughing. I was going, what is happening? And she goes, I know, I know. She goes, if you wanted to stop, you can just look away. She knew her face was melting off and. She knew. She was showing me. I know, I know. It's weird at first. Yeah. My face is gonna melt off. You either enjoy the ride or get off. Don't freak out. I'm gonna look 54 in a second. And then afterwards, she kinda, I said, what the fuck was that? Like, what were those faces? And she goes, I, I don't, she's like, I don't really know. She goes, I just wanna, I've always been able to do that.

• 26:08Mae Martin?

  And I just wanted to show you that reality is not what we think it is. There's a lot more going on. Give me her number. I'm going to. I wanna see if you are lying to us. You have to go in person in Toronto. I will do. I work in Toronto. Okay, I'm gonna give you a detail. Give me her number. I won't be there for a minute. Okay. It was wild, guys, but I told my parents, they were like, you need to go back to rehab. No, just kidding. But they were, they were, people are freaked out and I'm freaked out, but. Just by the state of the world, you mean? No, by the fact that I saw a woman's face. Why can we not follow a conversation? Oh, no. Are you saying the go-gos freak you out? Yeah. Is that what you're saying?

• 26:51Fortune Feimster?

  But did you come away with it feeling enlightened?

• 26:54Mae Martin?

  I've just felt more relaxed because I was like... Because her face was melting off. I kind of was like, ah, who cares about anything? There's like old lady faces floating around, you know? Yeah. And then I thought about the song Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

• 27:10Fortune Feimster?

  I've heard of it.

• 27:11Mae Martin?

  Life is but a dream, you know? Row your boat gently down the stream.

• 27:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:16Mae Martin?

  I was like, yeah.

• 27:17Fortune Feimster?

  Merrily, merrily.

• 27:18Mae Martin?

  I just feel like I'm less worried about things.

• 27:19Fortune Feimster?

  Good.

• 27:20Mae Martin?

  It'll fade. Don't worry. Next week I'll be heartbroken again. So you left after her face melted off and you were singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat? And I'm worried people are gonna think I'm crazy.

• 27:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 27:30Mae Martin?

  They will not. They will not think that. No, I think that people can clock that.

• 27:34Fortune Feimster?

  People who understand what you're saying.

• 27:36Mae Martin?

  Look, I'm also very grounded, both feet on the floor. Actually, one of your feet's on the couch right now. I'm gripping one of my feet like this.

• 27:46Fortune Feimster?

  Well, listen, whatever, you know, whatever the journey.

• 27:49Mae Martin?

  Whatever floats your boat. Whatever rows your boat. Yeah, whatever. You can... Why'd you say it like that?

• 27:55Fortune Feimster?

  Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

• 27:57Mae Martin?

  Your turn. Yeah, let's do it round. Okay, ready?

• 27:59Fortune Feimster?

  Row, Row, Row Your Boat, gently down the stream.

• 28:02Mae Martin?

  Row, Row, Row Your Boat, gently down the stream.

• 28:04Fortune Feimster?

  Merrily, merrily, merr...

• 28:05Mae Martin?

  No, you, okay, you start. Mm-hmm. And just sing it all the way through. Okay, ready? Mm-hmm. Row, Row, Row Your Boat, merrily, merrily, merr...

• 28:14Fortune Feimster?

  You've stopped this song.

• 28:16Mae Martin?

  Because you have to go gently down the stream. Okay. Row, Row, Row Your Boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, merr...

• 28:24Fortune Feimster?

  Life is but a dream. Row, Row, Row Your Boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merr... Merrily, merrily, merr...

• 28:31Mae Martin?

  My face is melting! Ah! I'm melting! Wow, I feel cured. Great.

• 28:39Fortune Feimster?

  I feel enlightened. On that note, should we hear our question?

• 28:43Mae Martin?

  Hell, yeah. I think we should.

• 28:45Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it.

• 28:46Mae Martin?

  We're here. Today's question, Oscar, is a Canadian-American actor and podcast host who played Job the magician... Magician? ...in Arrested Development and BoJack in BoJack Horseman. He's one of the three hosts... Horse!

• 28:59Fortune Feimster?

  I'm getting a horse!

• 28:59Mae Martin?

  You're a year of the horse and you're getting...

• 29:01Fortune Feimster?

  I'm getting a horse!

• 29:03Mae Martin?

  He's one of the three hosts of the hit podcast Smartless. He stars in the new movie about stand-up comedy, Is This Thing On?, opposite Laura Dern. Will Arnett is asking today's question.

• 29:12Fortune Feimster?

  Woo-hoo. I want to see that movie.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Hi, I'm Will Arnett from Is This Thing On? If you had to live in a sitcom, which would it be?

• 29:21Fortune Feimster?

  All right, if we had to live in a sitcom, that one is so easy for me.

• 29:26Mae Martin?

  Oh, really?

• 29:26Fortune Feimster?

  Because I have dreamed about this since Alf is, you know, near and dear to me, of course. But I have thought about this since I was a young gal.

• 29:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 29:36Fortune Feimster?

  Because when I was young, for whatever reason, I'm talking like 10 years old, I was obsessed with shows about old people. Meaning Golden Girls, Emptiness. You remember that?

• 29:49Tig Notaro?

  It's because you loved your grandmother.

• 29:50Fortune Feimster?

  I love my grandma so much, so I could, and I love, I think I loved the Golden Girls because they were so sassy.

• 29:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 29:58Fortune Feimster?

  And I learned later in life, it's because there was a lot of gay men on the writing staff.

• 30:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 30:02Fortune Feimster?

  Which, like, that makes total sense.

• 30:04Mae Martin?

  They tell it like it is.

• 30:05Fortune Feimster?

  They tell it like it is.

• 30:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you know, I've never watched a full episode.

• 30:09Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God, they.

• 30:11Tig Notaro?

  I remember when I was younger, I saw, I would catch an episode or a moment here or there, and I would think, this is so funny. I'm, you know, I'm gonna watch this show. And then I.

• 30:22Fortune Feimster?

  And you didn't either?

• 30:23Tig Notaro?

  I, no.

• 30:24Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, they're so good. They're so funny. Those women were like, just had such chemistry.

• 30:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 30:32Fortune Feimster?

  Um.

• 30:32Mae Martin?

  Were they friends in real life? They all got along?

• 30:34Fortune Feimster?

  I, there was always a rumor that Betty and Bee.

• 30:41Tig Notaro?

  Were dating.

• 30:41Fortune Feimster?

  Got into it a little bit.

• 30:43Mae Martin?

  Right, right.

• 30:44Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and I think they, I think they loved each other, but had also, I think Bee was annoyed by Betty at times.

• 30:52Tig Notaro?

  There was a bee in her bonnet.

• 30:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, there was a bee in the studio.

• 30:55Fortune Feimster?

  And also, they were like, I think in their, I want to say 50s.

• 31:00Mae Martin?

  They were so young.

• 31:01Fortune Feimster?

  Film that, which is so crazy. But, oh, and I loved, we've talked about before, designing women. That's kind of in that same vein of like, strong women. And so, my whole life, I was like, it is my dream to one day just end up in a house, when I'm older, with my friends, eating cheesecake.

• 31:21Fortune Feimster?

  And wearing caftans and uh.

• 31:24Mae Martin?

  What's a caftan?

• 31:25Fortune Feimster?

  Like a, like a poncho almost, like a.

• 31:28Mae Martin?

  It's like a wavy.

• 31:29Fortune Feimster?

  Blanket that you wear almost.

• 31:31Mae Martin?

  But it's not, but it's like.

• 31:32Tig Notaro?

  Why would I know what that is? Why, why are you both pulling attitude?

• 31:36Fortune Feimster?

  A caftan is pretty common.

• 31:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Tig Notaro?

  For who? For like, I, like, you think I have a caftan at my house?

• 31:42Fortune Feimster?

  Do you want me to show you a picture?

• 31:43Tig Notaro?

  No, I don't, I don't ever want to see. I don't want to see what this thing is.

• 31:47Fortune Feimster?

  Says someone that's gonna end up in a caftan at some point.

• 31:50Mae Martin?

  You're gonna be in a caftan.

• 31:51Fortune Feimster?

  They're very popular in Palm Springs.

• 31:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they are.

• 31:54Fortune Feimster?

  Which you go to because you have in-laws there.

• 31:57Mae Martin?

  Okay, we know what we're getting to.

• 31:59Fortune Feimster?

  You seem annoyed that we're like.

• 32:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm annoyed.

• 32:02Fortune Feimster?

  Telling you what a caftan is.

• 32:03Tig Notaro?

  I'm not just annoyed, I'm like, I'm, I'm angry.

• 32:06Mae Martin?

  You're borderline ready to walk up.

• 32:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm gonna quit the podcast.

• 32:10Fortune Feimster?

  Flowy piece of fabric.

• 32:11Tig Notaro?

  I don't care anymore.

• 32:12Fortune Feimster?

  You just put your head in and there's no.

• 32:14Tig Notaro?

  You put your head in?

• 32:15Fortune Feimster?

  Well, there's no like legs or arms, it just flows down you.

• 32:18Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know what that was.

• 32:21Fortune Feimster?

  Like, like, kinda like your nightgown.

• 32:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's like your nightgown.

• 32:25Fortune Feimster?

  But there's no arms holes.

• 32:27Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well.

• 32:28Fortune Feimster?

  So, you're gonna end up in a caftan.

• 32:30Tig Notaro?

  You're gonna end up in a caftan.

• 32:31Mae Martin?

  You are.

• 32:32Tig Notaro?

  You are.

• 32:33Fortune Feimster?

  Stop.

• 32:34Mae Martin?

  Girls.

• 32:40Mae Martin?

  Wait, Fortune.

• 32:41Fortune Feimster?

  This would be like an episode of The Golden Girls.

• 32:43Mae Martin?

  Do you wanna be, you wanna live in that world and do you wanna be yourself or you wanna be an older version of yourself?

• 32:48Fortune Feimster?

  I want either, either option.

• 32:50Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay.

• 32:50Fortune Feimster?

  I either wanna be in the sitcom, The Golden Girls, as one of the gals that's eating cheesecake. Cheesecake's a big part of this.

• 32:58Mae Martin?

  It is?

• 32:59Tig Notaro?

  They eat cheesecake on there?

• 33:00Fortune Feimster?

  They eat cheesecake a lot, you know?

• 33:01Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 33:02Fortune Feimster?

  And I was very drawn to that. I was like, you mean, as an adult, you can just eat cheesecake whenever you want?

• 33:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:08Fortune Feimster?

  I was fascinated by that.

• 33:09Tig Notaro?

  Wait, you can?

• 33:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 33:11Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 33:11Fortune Feimster?

  In a caftan.

• 33:13Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 33:13Mae Martin?

  You can do anything you want.

• 33:15Fortune Feimster?

  And, um, but also in life, I wouldn't mind a situation later on where I end up with a bunch of gals.

• 33:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, with a bunch of your friends. Also, are the, it seems like the problems on that show, it's like a problem of the week, it's, and it's never anything too scary, like, that would be nice.

• 33:31Fortune Feimster?

  And then they have, uh, so Bea Arthur's mom, so Bea's character's Dorothy, and her mom was Sophia.

• 33:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:41Fortune Feimster?

  And she was a real spitfire and always like talk shit and stuff. Did you have a crush on any of them, you think? I loved Rose, Betty White's character. She was very naive and silly and she would be like, back in St. Olaf. And I can't believe I'm explaining the Golden Girls to y'all. This is crazy.

• 33:59Tig Notaro?

  If you were, if, okay, if, if we were on the Golden Girls, who would be who? And including Taun, because aren't there four Golden Girls?

• 34:07Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I know. Okay. That's true.

• 34:09Tig Notaro?

  Is there four Golden Girls?

• 34:10Fortune Feimster?

  There are four. You would eat, God, you would either be Dorothy or Sophia because you're cranky as fuck.

• 34:20Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. Maybe Sophia. Yeah, you'd be Sophia.

• 34:24Tig Notaro?

  Wait, which one's Sophia?

• 34:25Fortune Feimster?

  The old, the old one who's like sticking it to people. And you would be Rose. Naive and silly? The silly one. I would be Blanche, the, um, the like, the sassy. She's the, she was going on dates with all the men. Okay, yeah. She was a whore. Fortune Marie, Marie. And so I guess that would, you would have to be Dorothy because you're tall and have a mustache. And Dorothy was, you know, adjacent to that. Okay. Um, oh, that's actually pretty great. You know, they have a lot of gay men do, um, drag. Yeah. They do shows in drag as the Golden Girls.

• 35:07Tig Notaro?

  Remember how we had that one picture online where our social team made us the Friends actresses?

• 35:15Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 35:15Tig Notaro?

  We need them to make us four Golden Girls.

• 35:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I never thought in my life I'd be explaining the Golden Girls to people. This is wild. It's blowing my mind. I feel like it's so dependent on like what you grew up watching. Right. And so I, I'm saying.

• 35:32Mae Martin?

  It's it's less that I want to live in the world of Friends, although penthouse apartments in New York. Pretty great apartment. It's more like I want to be part of the cast and like I was so captivated by like the behind the scene. I wanted to know like, are they really friends? And they just it seemed so tight. I know. So I think I want to be. On Friends. I think I want I wanted to be Matthew Perry so bad, like. Oh, really? Yeah, it was around the time of like Jim Carrey as well and Matthew Perry just was cool and funny and I wanted to be and kind of self deprecating. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to be and he's Canadian. That's right. That's right. He played hockey, right? Yeah, and yeah. Will did. Oh, that's right. No, honestly, I forgot that Will was Canadian.

• 36:17Mae Martin?

  I would would never forget because I got a list in my head all the time of every Canadian. Of all the Canadians. He's very funny. Yeah, I liked all the romantic drama going on on Friends as well. Like you'd never get tired of, you know. The Ross and Rachel. We were on a break. We were on a break. We were on a break. They were. Uh huh. Yeah. Tig?

• 36:36Tig Notaro?

  Well, here comes my age reveal. I uh I was obsessed with Good Times.

• 36:42Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah. Never heard of it. Never heard of it.

• 36:45Tig Notaro?

  You've never heard of Good Times?

• 36:46Mae Martin?

  No, this is why this podcast is Dan O'Meigh.

• 36:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 36:50Mae Martin?

  Oh, that rings a bell.

• 36:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. J.J. Walker.

• 36:53Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 36:54Tig Notaro?

  Um, and John Amos, the dad. I mean, he would they were like this family living in the projects, you know?

• 37:04Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 37:04Tig Notaro?

  And um and the comedy was there, but like the drama was so there.

• 37:10Mae Martin?

  Like it could get earnest. It could get like after school special.

• 37:13Tig Notaro?

  Oh, way after school. But like it is like serious business was I remember Janet Jackson was on it too.

• 37:21Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 37:22Tig Notaro?

  And um.

• 37:23Mae Martin?

  Like regularly?

• 37:24Tig Notaro?

  Um, she yeah, she was. Yeah, she was on there and I remember one time she came over to their house and she had a. Like a, a burn on her from an iron. And, and it was revealed that she was being abused at home.

• 37:40Mae Martin?

  Oh my god, this is a sitcom we're saying.

• 37:43Tig Notaro?

  This is a sitcom.

• 37:44Mae Martin?

  Holy shit.

• 37:44Tig Notaro?

  And it would get real.

• 37:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 37:47Tig Notaro?

  But it was also really funny.

• 37:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:49Tig Notaro?

  It was so, so great. I loved seventies, and, uh, black sitcoms in the seventies. There was nothing better.

• 37:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 37:58Tig Notaro?

  Nothing better.

• 37:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 38:00Fortune Feimster?

  Well, cause I love, I love the Jeffersons and...

• 38:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and also, not to bring up such a sad thing, but like Rob Reiner and like all of the, like, uh, like his, All in the Family, did you ever see that?

• 38:13Mae Martin?

  I have seen clips of that, yeah.

• 38:15Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh, just incredible. That was also part of my upbringing of, you know, sitcoms. But I would, I have to go with Good Times, for sure.

• 38:25Mae Martin?

  Like, I'm moving on, I don't want a family one, I want like sexy friends, you know, like Cheers I would do.

• 38:31Tig Notaro?

  See, I wanna show up abused.

• 38:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you wanna show up with a burn.

• 38:34Tig Notaro?

  Oh gosh. I wanna be in that and like show...

• 38:37Mae Martin?

  With someone doing a wellness check.

• 38:38Fortune Feimster?

  Those old sitcoms had such great theme songs too.

• 38:41Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh.

• 38:42Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 38:43Tig Notaro?

  Oh my. And I also, oh my god, the painting at the beginning of Good Times. And, and the camera pans along this, this painting is so, I want, I need to get a copy of that painting.

• 38:55Mae Martin?

  You gotta get a copy.

• 38:56Tig Notaro?

  I gotta get a copy of it.

• 38:58Mae Martin?

  Uh, there's a, a documentary on Netflix right now about cinema in the seventies, specifically nineteen seventy-five.

• 39:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 39:04Mae Martin?

  And it just...

• 39:05Tig Notaro?

  Was the best.

• 39:06Mae Martin?

  It's, if you watch it and you're just like...

• 39:07Tig Notaro?

  That's why I tapped out after, uh...

• 39:09Mae Martin?

  You gotta watch the documentary.

• 39:10Fortune Feimster?

  I know, you don't watch anything anymore.

• 39:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:12Fortune Feimster?

  Good Times had a great, uh, theme song.

• 39:15Tig Notaro?

  Yes it did.

• 39:16Fortune Feimster?

  Jefferson, I think, might be the best one.

• 39:18Mae Martin?

  Let's hear it.

• 39:19Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, what is it? Beans don't burn in the kitchen. Beans don't burn on the grill. Took a whole lot of churro and just to get up that hill. Now we're down in the big leagues, taking our turn that bad. And some of them, you and me, there ain't nothing wrong with that. Moving on up, moving on up to the east side. To a deluxe apartment in the sky. We're moving on up. Best song ever. I don't

• 39:51Mae Martin?

  Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

• 39:54Tig Notaro?

  It's real good. And Sanford and Son, I wouldn't mind being on that.

• 40:01Mae Martin?

  Well, what about Will or not? Like Arrested Development would be hilarious to be in, but highly stressful.

• 40:07Tig Notaro?

  Arrested Development is, oh, hands down.

• 40:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, the joke ratio in that, it's crazy.

• 40:15Tig Notaro?

  Oh, love it.

• 40:16Mae Martin?

  It almost numbs you into like you can't even laugh anymore because every line is so funny.

• 40:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. That was the first time I remember, you know, because as we know, I haven't followed a lot of TV shows and whatever. And I remember hearing people talk about, oh, I'm so sad. I'm going to miss this character. I'm gonna, that family. And, and I was always like, get a life.

• 40:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:38Tig Notaro?

  Um, and then when Arrested Development ended, I was like,

• 40:43Mae Martin?

  devastated.

• 40:44Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna miss these people.

• 40:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:46Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna miss these people.

• 40:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 40:48Mae Martin?

  Liza Minnelli on that show, who had vertigo all the time, her character.

• 40:52Fortune Feimster?

  I gotta go back and watch it.

• 40:53Mae Martin?

  You gotta.

• 40:54Fortune Feimster?

  It's been a while.

• 40:55Mae Martin?

  It's so good.

• 40:59Mae Martin?

  It was stimulant.

• 41:00Fortune Feimster?

  It was so unique. All those characters were like insane.

• 41:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 41:03Fortune Feimster?

  It was funny to see them like interact.

• 41:05Mae Martin?

  It's also, it's been a while. I guess there's, Tim Robinson is doing stuff, but that something's been such a comedy. Like we're talking, all the shows we're talking about have heart and pathos and stuff, but not that Arrested Development doesn't, but like, I, I miss like silly, big, insane. Yeah.

• 41:22Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 41:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Like when he, when Tobias joins the Blue Man Group.

• 41:27Tig Notaro?

  It's so good. I have to go way, way nonsense.

• 41:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 41:33Tig Notaro?

  Or I have to go way, way devastation.

• 41:36Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 41:37Tig Notaro?

  You know, clearly.

• 41:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:39Tig Notaro?

  Like I'm, the sitcom I'm watching is in the projects where people are getting abused.

• 41:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 41:44Tig Notaro?

  And to me, and there's a laugh track on that show, by the way.

• 41:48Mae Martin?

  Is there really?

• 41:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And then. And then I like Dumb and Dumber.

• 41:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 41:53Tig Notaro?

  So there's no in-between for me. Boys don't cry or Dumb and Dumber.

• 41:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:58Fortune Feimster?

  I do love a silly, ridiculous comedy where everyone's absurd.

• 42:02Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 42:02Mae Martin?

  That's why I like, like, when I did a couple of days on your show with Will Ferrell.

• 42:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 42:07Mae Martin?

  I had to like almost block out of my mind just all the like stepbrothers and

• 42:11Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 42:11Mae Martin?

  I mean, really.

• 42:13Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I know you had, it takes you a while to sort of like, like, stop laughing at him.

• 42:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 42:19Fortune Feimster?

  Because you, you just have to like take his, his character seriously.

• 42:23Tig Notaro?

  Not be an audience member.

• 42:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It takes a minute not to be an audience member because he's playing like his classic, like, overconfident, absurd, ridiculous type character that he does so well.

• 42:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 42:35Fortune Feimster?

  So the beginning, I would just always be cracking up. I'm like, that was so funny.

• 42:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 42:40Tig Notaro?

  And they're like, Fortune, you're on the show.

• 42:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:44Fortune Feimster?

  And I finally had to just like participate with him.

• 42:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Sorry, Tig, I touched your foot with my foot.

• 42:51Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's okay, dear.

• 42:52Fortune Feimster?

  Aw, guys, I love it. Starting the new year with foot kisses.

• 42:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 42:57Tig Notaro?

  Yes, foot kisses.

• 42:58Fortune Feimster?

  What else should we kiss?

• 43:00Mae Martin?

  Well, should we, oh.

• 43:01Tig Notaro?

  How dare you? Well, how dare you?

• 43:03Fortune Feimster?

  You just made that.

• 43:04Tig Notaro?

  Well, you just.

• 43:05Fortune Feimster?

  You made the same face that you made talking about a cat.

• 43:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but you just said in a snuggly voice, what else should we kiss?

• 43:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 43:12Tig Notaro?

  And like, I don't, that could, well, yeah, I don't want you kissing anything.

• 43:19Tig Notaro?

  You're giving, you're giving lesbians a bad name, you know? You're like acting like we just.

• 43:27Fortune Feimster?

  You give love a bad name.

• 43:29Tig Notaro?

  Don't say that I love bad names. Fortune?

• 43:34Fortune Feimster?

  All right, I won't kiss anything.

• 43:36Tig Notaro?

  Exactly.

• 43:39Tig Notaro?

  You just winked at me.

• 43:42Mae Martin?

  Can we please edit that?

• 43:45Tig Notaro?

  Quitting this podcast. I don't feel safe. Yeah, I am.

• 43:48Fortune Feimster?

  No, you're not.

• 43:49Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 43:49Fortune Feimster?

  Come here, give me a kiss. Yeah, give me a kiss.

• 43:52Mae Martin?

  We're not letting you quit. We're not. I can't quit you. I wish I could quit you. I can't quit you.

• 43:59Tig Notaro?

  You don't have to. I'm quitting both of you.

• 44:01Mae Martin?

  No, you're not.

• 44:02Tig Notaro?

  Oh, you're not.

• 44:03Fortune Feimster?

  We're not starting this year.

• 44:05Mae Martin?

  You can't quit us.

• 44:06Fortune Feimster?

  We're not starting this podcast.

• 44:09Tig Notaro?

  Stephanie and I used to, I'd say, um, never mind. I don't know how the story goes.

• 44:18Fortune Feimster?

  That was really genuine. Are you on?

• 44:20Tig Notaro?

  I know what I'd say. I would, every now and then I go, what would you do if I left you? She'd be like, I'd just go with you.

• 44:29Fortune Feimster?

  That's really good.

• 44:31Tig Notaro?

  I'm like.

• 44:32Fortune Feimster?

  I thought you were gonna say that she was like, I'd be fine.

• 44:35Tig Notaro?

  Mm-mm. She said, you can't. I'd just go with you.

• 44:37Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I like that a lot. I like that a lot. That's sweet.

• 44:41Tig Notaro?

  Stop holding my hand.

• 44:44Fortune Feimster?

  Your hands are soft. Have you felt Tig's hands? I have. Yeah, more than you know. My fingers are between your fingers. That is pretty intimate when you do your fingers.

• 44:52Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my, that is a part of your body. Fortune, are you attracted to me? Fortune, are you attracted to me?

• 45:00Fortune Feimster?

  All the times we've just been trying to make a pro-

• 45:02Tig Notaro?

  Fortune!

• 45:03Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my god.

• 45:06Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god.

• 45:08Fortune Feimster?

  I just scissored Tig's fingers with my fingers. Let me be clear.

• 45:15Fortune Feimster?

  Let me be queer. All the times we've just been asked to make like a simple promo video and then Tig's kissing all over you. Tig, right. Thank you.

• 45:26Tig Notaro?

  As a friend and trying to make you feel loved.

• 45:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, sure. You can't just turn it on and off.

• 45:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I can.

• 45:34Fortune Feimster?

  Whatevs. Oh, um.

• 45:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah?

• 45:38Fortune Feimster?

  Love you guys. Love you.

• 45:40Tig Notaro?

  Can we edit that out? Can we edit that out, Thomas?

• 45:44Fortune Feimster?

  The love you?

• 45:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 45:45Fortune Feimster?

  No, leave the love you.

• 45:46Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, remove it.

• 45:49Fortune Feimster?

  You know what that felt like?

• 45:50Tig Notaro?

  And also remove the finger violation that happened.

• 45:53Fortune Feimster?

  Do not. No, blur it out. No, you leave it. You leave it out. You leave that loving. I won't be silenced.

• 46:02Tig Notaro?

  Look at that nasty face you're making.

• 46:06Fortune Feimster?

  I won't be silenced. Well, should we hear what Will has to say?

• 46:11Tig Notaro?

  I feel like you like left the room there and you're just like, I won't be, like you got caught in some old trauma where you're just like, I won't be silenced.

• 46:21Fortune Feimster?

  I won't be silenced. I gotta drink a spin drift.

• 46:25Mae Martin?

  Should we hear Will's answer?

• 46:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, let's hear it.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  Cheers. I live in Cheers.

• 46:30Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, his question and answer reveals what a fan of the podcast he is.

• 46:37Mae Martin?

  Listen, he's obsessed with us.

• 46:39Tig Notaro?

  It's like Cyndi Lauper.

• 46:40Fortune Feimster?

  Will, calm down with how much you want to talk to us.

• 46:43Tig Notaro?

  Would you ever write a cookbook?

• 46:45Fortune Feimster?

  I like, he's like-

• 46:45Tig Notaro?

  I would!

• 46:49Tig Notaro?

  And Will is like-

• 46:50Mae Martin?

  Cheers, I live in Cheers.

• 46:52Fortune Feimster?

  What's the comic we're in?

• 46:53Mae Martin?

  That's it.

• 46:54Fortune Feimster?

  Cheers!

• 46:54Mae Martin?

  Cheers.

• 46:55Tig Notaro?

  I love Will.

• 46:56Fortune Feimster?

  He doesn't tell us why.

• 46:58Mae Martin?

  I feel like, um, they didn't tell him who that question was for, because if he'd known, he would have been-

• 47:04Fortune Feimster?

  He would have really delved into why he wants to be on Cheers. I could have seen him on Cheers as the bartender, as like, like a Woody type character.

• 47:13Tig Notaro?

  I could see him on Golden Girls.

• 47:16Fortune Feimster?

  I could also see that as well.

• 47:17Mae Martin?

  This is a dumb question. I just can't remember. Yeah.

• 47:21Tig Notaro?

  There's a few.

• 47:22Mae Martin?

  So, what's the riddle of my life? No, uh, so, uh, was Cheers, it all took place in the bar? They never went out of the bar?

• 47:29Fortune Feimster?

  Do you remember if they ever went out of the bar?

• 47:31Speaker 05

  They did once in a while.

• 47:33Fortune Feimster?

  But not often.

• 47:34Speaker 05

  They'd be at Sam's apartment or something.

• 47:35Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 47:35Fortune Feimster?

  It was mainly in that bar. That was a good sitcom too, Sam Malone.

• 47:40Tig Notaro?

  They probably didn't want to promote drunk driving.

• 47:41Fortune Feimster?

  Sam Malone?

• 47:42Tig Notaro?

  People leaving the bar.

• 47:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 47:44Fortune Feimster?

  That was, uh, Kirstie Allen was first and then got-

• 47:47Tig Notaro?

  Kirstie Allen?

• 47:48Fortune Feimster?

  She was second.

• 47:48Tig Notaro?

  Ally. Kirstie Allen.

• 47:50Fortune Feimster?

  Kirstie Allen. What'd I say?

• 47:51Mae Martin?

  Kirstie Ally.

• 47:53Fortune Feimster?

  Ally.

• 47:53Mae Martin?

  Is the real name.

• 47:54Fortune Feimster?

  Kirstie Ally.

• 47:55Tig Notaro?

  What is this, a Felicity Clockheart again?

• 47:57Fortune Feimster?

  I watched that again the other day and tackled. Felicity Clockheart will live in my heart forever.

• 48:05Tig Notaro?

  Stephanie watched it and oftentimes, you know, like, she's used to me and silliness, whatever. She texts me, she's like, "I can't stop watching this."

• 48:16Fortune Feimster?

  I couldn't stop watching it either. I, and the word Felicity Clockheart just kept going around in my brain.

• 48:23Tig Notaro?

  I stand by that, it's her name.

• 48:25Mae Martin?

  It feels like a character from Robin Hood or something.

• 48:27Fortune Feimster?

  We have to find her. She has asked us a question and she has introduced herself.

• 48:31Mae Martin?

  Just to say, "Hi, I'm Felicity Clockheart." Yeah.

• 48:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, she does. She has to.

• 48:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 48:36Tig Notaro?

  And we can blur out her mouth.

• 48:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 48:42Mae Martin?

  Cheers is another one where like it turns out all the actors were 35.

• 48:46Fortune Feimster?

  I know, isn't that wild? Cause Rhea Perlman, I think, yeah, was like 35 or 36.

• 48:52Tig Notaro?

  Well, you know, you probably don't know who Jean Stapleton is?

• 48:55Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 48:56Tig Notaro?

  The, the mom on All in the Family. She was 38.

• 49:00Mae Martin?

  Jean Stapleton, yeah, yeah.

• 49:01Fortune Feimster?

  Why did everyone look so much older back then?

• 49:03Tig Notaro?

  I think she was 38 or 48.

• 49:05Fortune Feimster?

  Was it smoking?

• 49:06Mae Martin?

  Maybe smoking, maybe just...

• 49:08Fortune Feimster?

  The clothes they wore too.

• 49:10Mae Martin?

  Maybe worse makeup, worse lighting.

• 49:12Tig Notaro?

  They were like a, like a muumuu or house dress.

• 49:15Fortune Feimster?

  Calf tan.

• 49:17Mae Martin?

  Heard of it?

• 49:17Fortune Feimster?

  Heard of that?

• 49:18Mae Martin?

  Heard of it?

• 49:20Fortune Feimster?

  So angry about those calf tans. I can't wait for you to go to Palm Springs.

• 49:25Tig Notaro?

  Why, you want to get some space from me?

• 49:26Fortune Feimster?

  No, I want you to, I want to give you a calf tan.

• 49:30Tig Notaro?

  Should I get one for my mother-in-law?

• 49:31Fortune Feimster?

  I think she would love it.

• 49:33Mae Martin?

  Perfect mother-in-law.

• 49:34Fortune Feimster?

  If she lives in Palm Springs, she's gonna want a calf tan. Cause it's airy, it's so hot down there. You wear them in hot places.

• 49:41Mae Martin?

  Nothing underneath. No ponties.

• 49:43Fortune Feimster?

  Do you ever wear them? You gotta wear some ponties.

• 49:45Tig Notaro?

  Do you ever wear them?

• 49:46Fortune Feimster?

  Um, no, but when I enter into my Golden Girls era, I will only be wearing those.

• 49:53Tig Notaro?

  When do you hit that? Cause I'm a year, I'm less than a year away. I'm, when I'm 55, I can legally move into a retirement community.

• 50:02Mae Martin?

  Is that true?

• 50:03Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 50:04Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna wait till 60, 65, 68.

• 50:07Tig Notaro?

  At 50, there's, 55, there are some places you can move in and that's, that's who your friend is over here. I am retirement community agent almost.

• 50:17Mae Martin?

  They need to change those ages as our life expectancy has gotten longer, I feel.

• 50:21Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 50:22Mae Martin?

  That seems young, 55.

• 50:23Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna wait till between 65 and 68 to have my Golden Girls era.

• 50:27Mae Martin?

  Oh, really?

• 50:28Tig Notaro?

  Wait, why 65 to 68?

• 50:31Fortune Feimster?

  Cause before that, I'm gonna be boning.

• 50:33Tig Notaro?

  But why is 69 off the table?

• 50:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, why, why stop at 68?

• 50:37Tig Notaro?

  Boning?

• 50:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, pre 65.

• 50:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 50:41Fortune Feimster?

  Then I'm gonna hang it up.

• 50:43Tig Notaro?

  You're gonna stop boning?

• 50:46Fortune Feimster?

  When I move in with my gals.

• 50:48Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Are you gonna be boning the gals?

• 50:51Fortune Feimster?

  We'll see. It depends on the house. I have a lot to look forward to.

• 50:57Mae Martin?

  You really do.

• 50:58Fortune Feimster?

  Well, what a treat that.

• 51:00Mae Martin?

  What an absolute treat.

• 51:01Fortune Feimster?

  Will, Will's question and answer, full of information.

• 51:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah. But I learned a lot about you guys.

• 51:09Fortune Feimster?

  I know, it did spark a great conversation.

• 51:13Tig Notaro?

  What did you learn?

• 51:14Mae Martin?

  That you like tragedy or extreme silliness.

• 51:18Tig Notaro?

  You already knew that.

• 51:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but I didn't know that you wanted to, I wouldn't have guessed that you wanted to be on a show.

• 51:24Tig Notaro?

  And I didn't know I was getting a horse.

• 51:26Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't know that either.

• 51:28Mae Martin?

  You were getting horse.

• 51:30Tig Notaro?

  A horse.

• 51:31Mae Martin?

  Your horse.

• 51:31Fortune Feimster?

  It's the year of the horse.

• 51:33Mae Martin?

  Can we just acknowledge that this is the first episode of the podcast where someone's almost quit? We had the biggest fight that has ever happened on the pod.

• 51:43Tig Notaro?

  Things have gotten nasty.

• 51:44Fortune Feimster?

  Nasty.

• 51:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 51:46Mae Martin?

  You almost came to blows, we got through it.

• 51:49Tig Notaro?

  Do you think there's listeners that believe when we're saying right now that we had a nasty fight?

• 51:55Mae Martin?

  Yes, I read the Reddit page.

• 51:56Fortune Feimster?

  They really think, they think we get irritated with each other, but we don't.

• 52:01Mae Martin?

  We, I can't think of-

• 52:03Tig Notaro?

  Wait, on the Reddit page, they think that we're fighting about-

• 52:05Fortune Feimster?

  I haven't read the Reddit page.

• 52:07Mae Martin?

  To be honest, I haven't read it-

• 52:07Fortune Feimster?

  We have a Reddit page?

• 52:08Mae Martin?

  I haven't read it in months and months because I started to notice people commenting, "Hi, May, we know you're reading this."

• 52:14Tig Notaro?

  Oh, they know that.

• 52:16Mae Martin?

  Because I said on the pod, I read it.

• 52:17Fortune Feimster?

  Funny. I didn't know we had a Reddit page.

• 52:19Mae Martin?

  So I haven't read it in a while. Check it out.

• 52:21Tig Notaro?

  So when we just casually said-

• 52:24Mae Martin?

  Like that we had a massive fight, there will be some people that say, "That was a close call."

• 52:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I see comments every now and then on our Instagram that are like-

• 52:35Tig Notaro?

  That are like they're fighting again?

• 52:38Fortune Feimster?

  Sometimes they think we interrupt May too much. Sorry.

• 52:41Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 52:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 52:43Mae Martin?

  I don't think that's true.

• 52:44Fortune Feimster?

  But to be fair, we kind of interrupt each other all the time.

• 52:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's kind of the nature of the-

• 52:47Fortune Feimster?

  That's what happens with three people.

• 52:49Mae Martin?

  Also, sometimes I'm rambling on.

• 52:50Tig Notaro?

  I don't have a, I honestly don't have a single problem with either of you.

• 52:56Fortune Feimster?

  Same.

• 52:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, same, same. I've never felt-

• 52:59Tig Notaro?

  Let's set this record straight on Reddit.

• 53:04Tig Notaro?

  The joy I feel in my heart, walking into this room and doing a live recording with these bozos.

• 53:11Mae Martin?

  Unparalleled.

• 53:12Tig Notaro?

  It's immeasurable.

• 53:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.

• 53:18Tig Notaro?

  You know, people project, people project their fears and insecurities and concerns.

• 53:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's right.

• 53:26Tig Notaro?

  That's right.

• 53:26Mae Martin?

  We're objects of projection and that's fine and I love it.

• 53:28Tig Notaro?

  Look, we locked fingers. That's very sexual.

• 53:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:32Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God.

• 53:34Mae Martin?

  Tig, I would never violate you in that way. I'm not going near your webs.

• 53:37Tig Notaro?

  I know.

• 53:37Fortune Feimster?

  I would.

• 53:39Tig Notaro?

  Just kidding. No, it's for the pod.

• 53:41Mae Martin?

  Fortune.

• 53:41Fortune Feimster?

  Don't touch me. Ugh.

• 53:42Mae Martin?

  Fortune.

• 53:44Tig Notaro?

  That's so rude. Can you guys write about it on Reddit? How Fortune just said, ugh.

• 53:48Mae Martin?

  I was trying to grab you for a wink there, but I missed the moment.

• 53:51Tig Notaro?

  There you go. Well, um, okay, what a podcast.

• 53:54Mae Martin?

  What a podcast.

• 53:55Tig Notaro?

  And I know we have all have some tour dates. I'll tell you real quick here that I am gonna be in Fort Lauderdale on January 14th. I'll be in Orlando, January 15th, Tampa, January 16th. That is both of my parents. That's their birthday.

• 54:14Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 54:15Tig Notaro?

  I know. And Fayetteville, Arkansas, February 19th. I mean, it goes on and on. Oklahoma City, the 20th of February, Midland, Texas, February 21st. Anyway, go to TigNotaro.com for all show information. And if you have not yet seen, come see me in the good light. Some people get scared of this movie.

• 54:36Mae Martin?

  Oh, don't be.

• 54:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, they think it's like too devastating. They don't want to be depressed. It's the opposite.

• 54:43Mae Martin?

  It's really funny and really uplifting.

• 54:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. And it gives you this urgency of like, I gotta make some changes and really, really appreciate my life. Yes, there's some sad moments, but it's all in all, it feels good.

• 54:58Mae Martin?

  I am on January 13th, soon, I'm at Largo in LA with Lisa Gilroy. We're doing an insane show called May and Lisa Surprise Party, where we're just surprising each other with. Things we've planned. Yeah. And it's gonna be ridiculous. That's so fun. It's so dumb and we've got special guests. It's gonna be great. And then my tour starts on the 26th of February. I start in Oklahoma and then 27th I'm in, I'm in Houston and onward. Just go to maymartin.net for all the tour dates. I'm doing 47 shows, guys. Come say hi, come do the- That's right.

• 55:33Tig Notaro?

  And tour dates change, so always-

• 55:35Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 55:36Tig Notaro?

  And get added, shows get added, cities get added, go to websites, constantly check back.

• 55:41Mae Martin?

  Join my mailing list on maymartin.net.

• 55:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 55:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and I'm excited about that.

• 55:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. This weekend, I'm in Mobile, Alabama, and New Orleans, and Atlanta, all back to back. I'll also be in Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, Des Moines, there's a bunch of stuff. New York City, right outside of Philly, Burlington, Vermont, yeah, on my website as well, fortunethemester.com.

• 56:08Mae Martin?

  Do you think people listen to this part of the pod?

• 56:10Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. I don't know if they're like-

• 56:12Mae Martin?

  Sometimes there's little hidden gems in it.

• 56:13Tig Notaro?

  Do you think people listen to the pod?

• 56:15Mae Martin?

  No.

• 56:16Tig Notaro?

  What if people just tune in for the end?

• 56:18Fortune Feimster?

  They do listen to the pod, you guys. We've crossed 50 million downloads.

• 56:22Mae Martin?

  Holy cow.

• 56:23Tig Notaro?

  That's a lot.

• 56:24Mae Martin?

  Holy moly cow.

• 56:26Tig Notaro?

  That's a lot. I think back to like the early conversations of like, would you be interested? What do you think of doing this? Like, should we do this?

• 56:34Fortune Feimster?

  And here we are.

• 56:35Tig Notaro?

  Here we are, and boom.

• 56:36Fortune Feimster?

  Boom. Well, we appreciate everyone that listens.

• 56:39Tig Notaro?

  We really appreciate it. And please, share episodes with friends. Help us build the community.

• 56:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 56:45Tig Notaro?

  It's really, really, and go to Reddit and talk about our messy fight. And also, make sure to rate and review. It's really, really helpful. And go to YouTube, sign up for that, subscribe.

• 56:59Mae Martin?

  There's also lovely people on Reddit as well. I mean, I love the community.

• 57:03Tig Notaro?

  There you go.

• 57:03Mae Martin?

  It's 99% really sweet, joyful stuff.

• 57:07Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, it's impossible to get through a day walking on this planet without somebody saying, "Keep it handsome."

• 57:12Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 57:13Tig Notaro?

  It's the best. It's the best.

• 57:15Fortune Feimster?

  You guys are the best.

• 57:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 57:16Fortune Feimster?

  We appreciate you.

• 57:17Tig Notaro?

  The absolute best.

• 57:18Mae Martin?

  On that note. Keep it handsome!

• 57:22Tig Notaro?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. Follow us on social media, @handsomepod.

• 57:40Speaker 06

  What a podcast.

• 57:42Mae Martin?

  What a podcast.

• 57:46Fortune Feimster?

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 57:49Speaker 00

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 57:50Speaker 06

  And Hannah Simone.

• 57:52Speaker 00

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dogged.

• 58:13Speaker 06

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 58:26Speaker 00

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 58:37Speaker 06

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.