Phil Hanley's life as a dyslexic wordsmith | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger — a Wave series. Andrew Santino sits down with comedian and writer Phil Hanley for a sharp, funny conversation about stand-up, writing, and why precision matters more than volume in comedy. They talk about Phil’s book Spellbound, the discipline behind joke construction, crowd work that actually works, and how subtlety can hit just as hard as chaos. It’s a comic-to-comic episode loaded with insight, laughs, and real stand-up shop talk. Rest in peace Bob Weir. Phil Hanley’s book: Spellbound Phil Hanley’s website & tour dates: https://www.philhanley.com In this episode: • Writing jokes with intention and restraint • The balance between crowd work and prepared material • How Spellbound came together • Santino and Phil break down what separates good comics from great ones #whiskeyginger #AndrewSantino #PhilHanley #Spellbound #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #PodcastClips #Comedians Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:24Andrew Santino?

  Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series. Well, ladies and germs, I'm on the road. Tonight, I'm in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. Canada, show up to your boy, right across the river from Detroit. Hop on over and come see me at Caesar's. Tomorrow, I'm at Wind Creek in Bethlehem. Then I'm at the Hall at Live in Hanover, Maryland. Then I go to Atlantic City, the Borgara down there in Atlantic City. And I come back to Southern California, I play Valley Center. Harrah's down there, that's near San Diego. San Diego, come out and see me. Then for Lovers' Day, February 14th, I'm in Canyonville, Oregon at Seven Feathers. Then me and Bobby do a Bad Friends in Lincoln, California, up by Sacramento. Then of course I do the Win Casino in March. Come see me, Las Vegas, viva baby.

• 2:08Andrew Santino?

  Then I'm at the Lil' Roadie Fest out there in Providence, Rhode Island, the end of March. Come see me at andrewsantino.com. Once again, that's andrewsantino.com.

• 2:16Speaker 04

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 2:22Speaker 05

  You're that creature in the ginger beard.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  Sturdy and ginger.

• 2:25Speaker 05

  Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a beauty. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse.

• 2:33Speaker 06

  Ginger, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 2:40Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people and I don't think I've seen that from my guest, but I mean him once again today. It's Phil Hanley. Phil Hanley's on the pod today. By the way, he's got a new book out, for the kids that need to know, that want to know, Spellbound. His life as a dyslexic wordsmith. One of the best comics working today, a guy I've known for quite a long time.

• 2:59Speaker 07

  Oh, thank you.

• 3:00Andrew Santino?

  Where did we meet? We met, I want to say we did, did we do half hours together? No.

• 3:04Speaker 07

  No, we didn't. I don't think we, I thought we met at The Cellar.

• 3:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we must have.

• 3:08Speaker 07

  Yeah. But you were so cool, right from the...

• 3:11Andrew Santino?

  The jump?

• 3:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, as soon as we met.

• 3:12Andrew Santino?

  We got a lot more in common than you think, by the way. I do notice that you're a Deadhead. I do know that from the...

• 3:17Speaker 07

  Yeah, they're my lifeblood.

• 3:18Andrew Santino?

  You really are, huh?

• 3:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 3:19Andrew Santino?

  Have you gone to a bunch of these new shows, or you're not into Dead and Company?

• 3:22Speaker 07

  Uh, I go, like, it's a celebration of the music, so I'm into it, but, um, yeah, I don't, if I'm listening, like, I was listening to the Dead on the way here, I would listen to the Dead, like...

• 3:33Andrew Santino?

  You don't, you don't, you like the idea of Dead and Company because of what it is, but it's not...

• 3:41Speaker 07

  I love it. I love it, and I've probably seen Dead and Company, like, maybe 25 or 30 times. Like, I've seen them a lot.

• 3:46Andrew Santino?

  Okay, so you're in.

• 3:47Speaker 07

  Yeah. But, it's, yeah, it's, you know, it's great, but I got to see Jerry, and that is...

• 3:56Andrew Santino?

  That's the big difference.

• 3:57Speaker 07

  Well, it's, it's, yeah, he was just, like, you know, you get, if you're lucky, you get to see, like, he was just such a phenomenal musician that you can't even, like, I could get all heady for, like, a full hour trying to talk about it. But it's, like, actual... Liftoff.

• 4:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:13Speaker 07

  Like you there there when he's playing. Uh, there were times and I was young, but there'd be times where everyone in the like arena would exhale at the same time, because everyone was so focused on just him and his solo and the final note would hit and everyone would exhale at the same time. It's so fucking crazy. It's so crazy and you get it because like there would be at the Dead at one point, 10,000 people would follow the Dead.

• 4:43Andrew Santino?

  That's crazy.

• 4:44Speaker 07

  10,000 people are like, I'm not gonna have that place. I'm gonna follow the Grateful Dead. I'm gonna raise my family. I think he grew up on the lot. And uh.

• 4:52Andrew Santino?

  You gotta relate to that dude.

• 4:53Speaker 07

  And uh.

• 4:54Andrew Santino?

  His name's Mccone and his brother's names are, uh, um, uh.

• 4:59Speaker 07

  Bobby and Jerry.

• 5:00Andrew Santino?

  No, what's what's the fir- the first letter? S and F. Yeah, Seamus and uh, Finnegan, Flannery. Flannigan. Flannery, Flan- what? Combine them, Flannigan. Flannigan.

• 5:10Speaker 07

  Are you the youngest, Mccone?

• 5:11Andrew Santino?

  I'm the oldest.

• 5:12Speaker 07

  Holy shit, they Mccone hit the gates.

• 5:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, they swung hard.

• 5:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 5:16Andrew Santino?

  His parents are uh, eternal free spirits.

• 5:19Speaker 07

  Oh, okay.

• 5:20Andrew Santino?

  Eternal Irish free spirits.

• 5:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 5:22Andrew Santino?

  But yes, dude, you you you.

• 5:23Speaker 07

  So.

• 5:24Andrew Santino?

  I do get that.

• 5:25Speaker 07

  But I love, don't get me wrong, I love Dead and Co and um, I mean, I've loved the Dead for so long and sometimes you have just human nature and it's awful, but you have like, kind of gatekeeper stuff or whatever. For me, I'm like, more people, more people, like, people are like, I'll have like, all Deadhead friends are like, oh, the Dead are doing golf clubs. I'm like, have them do microphone stands. I'm like, these dudes deserve to make dough while they're alive. And every time I see a Steely or a Daddy Bear or whatever, it puts a smile on my face.

• 5:55Andrew Santino?

  It's a good, see, that's a good attitude and that's the attitude that you should have. I get the other like, I heard them first or they're my band or the ownership thing.

• 6:01Speaker 07

  The Dead belong to everybody.

• 6:03Andrew Santino?

  See, that's good.

• 6:04Speaker 07

  And he, and I really think it, they make, if, and it's, it's, it's so dense, you can, you can just listen to American Beauty, or you can fucking go so deep. They played, you know, over 2,000 shows and they're all on tape. And you can listen to them and you can talk about each one and you can write about each one and read about each one. It's amazing.

• 6:23Andrew Santino?

  It's deep, very deep. I've dug down miniature rabbit holes. Have you gotten to meet any of these men?

• 6:28Speaker 07

  Uh, my, I, I wanna meet Bob, where I've no, no, I've met, like, it's like, there's a dead lyric, I shook the hands that shook the hands. I've shaken the hands that have shaken a lot of the hands.

• 6:40Andrew Santino?

  That's cool.

• 6:40Speaker 07

  And I have, if you go to my Instagram, I have these people, there's these dudes, these collectors, these really cool guys that will buy their instruments and they'll bring, I was in San Diego a couple of weeks ago, and a guy brought Phil Esh's bass and Jerry's guitar from kind of one of their like best periods from the seventies.

• 6:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 07

  And, uh, from like the kind of mid to late seventies. So they both, these guitars, knew each other from onstage and it was, it was crazy. And I have, I had a guy in Chicago give me one of Jerry's picks. Um, he bought a Jerry guitar and the, in the case was a pick and he gave it to me.

• 7:14Andrew Santino?

  How much was that fucking guitar?

• 7:16Speaker 07

  Uh, th- th- these dudes, these dudes are spending a lot of money on these guitars.

• 7:20Andrew Santino?

  That's gotta be hundreds of thousands of dollars, right?

• 7:21Speaker 07

  Yeah, I mean, their instruments are crazy. I mean, the, the main, Jerry's main guitars are, would be, li- this guy that I met in San Diego is the only non-billionaire that owns one of Jerry's main guitars. And then he, you know, he had tons of guitars over the years, but there are main.

• 7:35Andrew Santino?

  I'm surprised they're not like in a museum somewhere.

• 7:37Speaker 07

  Well, a lot of this one, yeah, a lot of them will be in, um, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There was a guy who owned the, uh, Indiana Colts, he had a couple of them and he would play it.

• 7:49Andrew Santino?

  Uh, that's right. He's a huge deadhead.

• 7:52Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 7:52Andrew Santino?

  Not Ursay. Is it Jim Ursay? Am I wrong? Look that up. Indianapolis Colts, Jim Ursay, or is that wrong?

• 7:57Speaker 07

  I know the guitar is not the guy. Carlisle Gordon?

• 8:01Andrew Santino?

  Uh, maybe I'm wrong. I thought it was Jim Ursay that owned it.

• 8:03Speaker 07

  That sounds familiar, but and, and, and he would play.

• 8:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the Ursay family.

• 8:07Speaker 07

  Carlisle.

• 8:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but they, but I knew he's a huge deadhead.

• 8:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. And collects all that shit.

• 8:12Speaker 07

  Yeah, so it, yeah, but the guy gave me the Jerry pick and I was, it was him and his wife, he's a really cool dude, he lives in Chicago. And I just can't, I couldn't keep it together. He like gave me a bag full of stuff and there was all these like cool shit and then there was like a pick. And I picked it up and I tried to say Jerry touched this and I just got real emotional.

• 8:32Andrew Santino?

  That's cool.

• 8:33Speaker 07

  And the same thing happened. The guy gave me a pic uh from Phil Lesh a couple of weeks ago and I tried. There are certain things I just can't play it cool.

• 8:40Andrew Santino?

  Where is that pick?

• 8:41Speaker 07

  Uh it's both both pics are at my place in New York. They will be. They're in some. They're something special. They're in a special place, but they will be.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  Don't say it in case you get robbed. Imagine some dude comes just to rob you for that. They don't want anything else but that.

• 8:56Speaker 07

  I would love to get a. I mean, uh, uh, uh, ultimately, I would love to get like a, you know, a historical piece of Dead, stuff like that. The big thing is just, yeah, beginning to go there. But I know. So I love Dead and Co. And people should go see Dead and Co.

• 9:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I've seen him a couple of times. They're great. You're gonna be mad if I've said hello to Bob Weir, but never anything more than that. Don't, don't get mad.

• 9:14Speaker 07

  No, well, I.

• 9:15Andrew Santino?

  I didn't deserve it. It's always someone that doesn't deserve it that gets the access to be like, he like walked by. I was like, hey, man. He was like, hey, man. And I was like, cool. That's it. I, as fast as I could get away from him. I did. Cause I thought, don't, don't spend more than five tenths of a second in case he goes, what do you want? You know what I mean? I don't wanna get the fuck away from me.

• 9:37Speaker 07

  I talk about Bobby in my book. I thought it's mostly about my life as a dyslexic, but Bobby, Bob Weir is dyslexic. And when I was a kid and found out that he was dyslexic, it just kinda. It just made it. Well, I mean, it wasn't good up until that point. Yeah, cause when you're a kid, everyone's like, Tom Cruise is dyslexic. And you're like, oh, I'll be fucking in Top Gun. What is that?

• 9:58Andrew Santino?

  Well, you are a Scientologist now, so that did work out to your favor a little bit.

• 10:02Speaker 07

  That's a parallel. But uh, no, so in, in, yeah, so, but when I found out, and Bob Weir is such a unique.

• 10:11Speaker 07

  Approach to music and just, I mean, you watch him play. I'll bring a guitar player to a Dead show and they'll, they'll be like, what is he doing? Cause he's like playing a G here and G there, G there. You know what I mean?

• 10:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and guitar players get a little uh.

• 10:22Speaker 07

  They're just like, what, what is he doing? He has such a unique approach and the songs that he wrote, the like, timing and stuff like that is crazy.

• 10:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's the man. And this, you wrote about him in here because. How old were you when you?

• 10:32Speaker 07

  When I found out I was dyslexic, six. It was rough dude.

• 10:37Andrew Santino?

  But that's the thing that people can't bully you for visually, they don't know. I had red fucking hair, man.

• 10:41Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that one was a pretty easy target to shoot at.

• 10:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:45Andrew Santino?

  Especially when you're skinny with big ears. My grandfather used to be like, you look like a taxi cab coming on the road with his doors open. That hurts.

• 10:52Speaker 07

  Yeah, that hurt.

• 10:54Andrew Santino?

  Your grandfather being like, look at how fucking dumb you look.

• 10:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:57Andrew Santino?

  So, not to down this, but fuck me dude, when it's physical, you're like, God, I can't get away from this shit.

• 11:03Speaker 07

  That's true.

• 11:04Andrew Santino?

  But people only knew if you told them.

• 11:05Speaker 07

  Well, they knew when you were getting dropped off at the short bus at school. Or they knew when you were in special ed. Or they knew when you were like, taken out of class to like, practice reading. Or when you got like, like kindergarten was like so good, and then they like, first grade was like, day one, you're just like, oh shit.

• 11:25Andrew Santino?

  So it was heavy trauma for you as a kid?

• 11:27Speaker 07

  Uh, I think it is for kids in neurodiversity. I, I, I'm sorry that that happened with the red hair.

• 11:32Andrew Santino?

  Oh brother, I'm teasing. I don't give a fuck at all. I became a comedian, it worked.

• 11:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, is that what did it?

• 11:36Andrew Santino?

  I think you need to bully more kids into feeling bad about their insecurities. And then they get stronger, they use it, it's like their, it's like their superpower underneath.

• 11:44Speaker 07

  That's what I talk about. My main thing, like my mission in life is to get, um, people to listen to early seventies dead. No.

• 11:55Andrew Santino?

  That's working. That's so far, that's working.

• 11:58Speaker 07

  Um, no, to, uh, I, I, I talk about a lot, and I talk about on stage, and I meet a lot of parents with dyslexic kids come to my shows, and special ed teachers, and dyslexic people, and deadheads. Kind of the coolest group.

• 12:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:10Speaker 07

  I love the people who come. But, um, I, the main thing that I say to parents of dyslexic kids and, and kids that are neurodiverse is like, you have to maintain their self-esteem.

• 12:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 07

  And if you do, they, when they finish school, school is just not designed for us. No, it's just, that's just the way that peanuts aren't designed for people with peanut allergies. Like you just can't do it. But if you maintain their self-esteem, when they get out, it's like, just a coiled spring, cause it's like, they have grit. Like everything you want to instill in a kid, you get that if you're neurodiverse.

• 12:39Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 12:40Speaker 07

  Like tenacity, uh, just, you know, being able to like, never give up, accept. You know how difficult things are and stuff like that.

• 12:47Andrew Santino?

  And also knowing you're not alone. There's other people that have their own little hiccups.

• 12:50Speaker 07

  Exactly, but you do feel you're the only kid in the class that gets zero every test. Like you do feel. Like the reason I wrote my book was years ago, I read, uh, or my mom read me, no, I read, uh, a book about dyslexia and I was like, holy shit, cuz you are the only one in the class. Like you, even in special ed, it's like a kind of a mixed bag of kids with challenges. You know what I mean?

• 13:12Andrew Santino?

  Sure. But, but you were, you felt like maybe you were the chosen one.

• 13:17Speaker 07

  No, no, you just, but yeah, so I, anyways, that's why I wrote, cuz you do, it feel, you feel very isolated and then you, when you realize other people are experiencing the exact same fucking thing.

• 13:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 13:29Speaker 07

  And it never stops. When I was in the Uber today, the chances of me typing in the address to your studio, like, one thing wrong. And I don't know LA, so I'm cruising around, I'm like, I think we're going to Burbank. I have no idea, but easily I could put, I could think I'm putting in your address and I could put in like, whatever.

• 13:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, something the opposite. Yeah. But you, but now, you know, you've kind of utilized, it's, it is funny. I mean, the title is wonderful as well. This, My Life as a Dyslexic Wordsmith is very funny. Cuz you're a great comic and you're, you know, to have a job as a orator to speak for a living.

• 14:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:06Andrew Santino?

  The irony is staggeringly beautiful.

• 14:07Speaker 07

  Well.

• 14:08Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of like because the words appear wacky or different than, but it's, but this works so well.

• 14:13Speaker 07

  Well, yeah, because, yeah, cuz that was just, school was, you're so stifling. You wouldn't know what was going down. And then recess would hit and I think I was really just like, you know what I mean? Johnny's calling me out.

• 14:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, I think like, uh, well, you said something powerful. There's a school wasn't built for you the way peanuts aren't built for people, the peanut allergy. But like school, I, I, you know, and maybe this is a very heavy handed position, but I don't think traditional school is, is built for most people. I, I argue that like, like I had a terrible time in school. I was a really bad student.

• 14:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:44Andrew Santino?

  Not cuz I was stupid. It was cuz it was boring and, and it's completely, I was so. Not interested.

• 14:52Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:52Andrew Santino?

  That I was like, this doesn't do anything for me. I don't like it. It doesn't feel good.

• 14:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:56Andrew Santino?

  I feel really vulnerable and anxious and I, I don't, I don't think it's using any of the things that I like. So, you know, the, the, the thing back in the fucking nineties, when, you know, cause we're the same age, I feel like, what are you, in your forties?

• 15:06Speaker 07

  I think we're, I think we're the same age. I might be a little younger.

• 15:08Andrew Santino?

  Back in the, back in-

• 15:09Speaker 07

  More sexual experience, but a little younger.

• 15:10Andrew Santino?

  That is a fucking fact. I'll tell you, I can see it in your pants right now. Kid is bulging on camera. Back in the nineties, dude, teachers used to go, your son is a bad kid. He's a bad student and, um, you know, he's very disruptive and da, da, da, da.

• 15:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:22Andrew Santino?

  And thankfully, my mom, who is like the most badass bitch on earth, was like, perhaps what you're teaching him isn't interesting to him. Like perhaps he's just not engaged.

• 15:30Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:30Andrew Santino?

  And your job is to be engaging and not just follow a curriculum, which I think nowadays is different. This is forty years later.

• 15:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:37Andrew Santino?

  But when I was a kid-

• 15:38Speaker 07

  I don't know how different it is.

• 15:38Andrew Santino?

  Well, maybe not, but I, well, there's more, there was more options now.

• 15:41Speaker 07

  Now there's options, yeah.

• 15:42Andrew Santino?

  You can send your kid to other kinds of schools.

• 15:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:44Andrew Santino?

  But back then, it's public school. I mean, I'm a public school kid.

• 15:47Speaker 07

  Yeah, me too.

• 15:47Andrew Santino?

  It's like, get in there and learn the thing.

• 15:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:49Andrew Santino?

  And don't disrespect Mrs. Rose, cause I'll beat your fucking ass.

• 15:52Speaker 07

  Yeah, that was, it, well, some kids, that was the attitude their parents had and some, but-

• 15:57Andrew Santino?

  Dude, mine was, that was it. You do the thing-

• 15:59Speaker 07

  Really?

• 15:59Andrew Santino?

  And shut up. And then once my mom learned I had something else going on.

• 16:03Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:04Andrew Santino?

  She turned to my side a little bit, cause she was like, oh, he mu- this must be hard for him because he's not in- interested.

• 16:10Speaker 07

  No.

• 16:10Andrew Santino?

  He's completely disconnected.

• 16:12Speaker 07

  Which is the sign of someone that's more intelligent than-

• 16:14Andrew Santino?

  Or someone that's just unique. I just maybe, not, I don't know if I'm smarter or I was just,

• 16:20Andrew Santino?

  those weren't the functions I enjoyed working. You know what I mean?

• 16:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:23Andrew Santino?

  It's like that, those synapses weren't firing over there.

• 16:25Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:25Andrew Santino?

  I could meet kids that could read a book and, and literally peel apart all the important parts.

• 16:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:31Andrew Santino?

  And regurgitate it back. I could read the same thing five times and be like, fuck, I gotta read it again and I still didn't get any of it.

• 16:38Speaker 07

  Yeah, and it's just so, I mean, it wasn't that long ago. Clearly, there's, you can see if a kid's smart or not.

• 16:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 07

  It doesn't have anything to do with their social study test or exam or their geography. They memorize metamorphic rock or whatever the shit. That, you know, we know that. You knew that then. You knew that.

• 16:58Andrew Santino?

  You felt it.

• 16:58Speaker 07

  But they still went through that charade and, and- And I just got so lucky, my mom would go in, they tried to fail me every single year, every year, they'd say I was stupid, they would say. And my mom would go in, just like, just calm and negotiate. And then I would go home and my dad would be like, you're goddamn smarter than that, like, you know what I mean, like, so I had kind of a, like, a good cop, bad cop kinda, kinda thing.

• 17:21Andrew Santino?

  Are your parents still together?

• 17:22Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 17:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I know, I can tell.

• 17:24Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 17:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Canadians, man, they're solid wholesome people. These people are good people at their core.

• 17:29Speaker 07

  Canada?

• 17:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they love each other, your parents, they're, they're, they're, they're still hooking up. I bet your parents still bone today.

• 17:35Speaker 07

  I, I, I, well, I, I mean, that's something I could.

• 17:37Andrew Santino?

  Call them, ask them.

• 17:38Speaker 07

  That's something I could ask after the podcast.

• 17:41Andrew Santino?

  I like how he was like, dude, after, I don't know, I don't, I will, but not right now.

• 17:44Speaker 07

  Uh, yeah, it's funny, I, I, yeah, I mean, I, I love Canada.

• 17:48Andrew Santino?

  You had a wholesome growing up?

• 17:50Speaker 07

  Uh, yeah, like, yeah, my, my, I mean, both my parents are very good people and very.

• 17:53Andrew Santino?

  Are they still working or they're retired now?

• 17:55Speaker 07

  They're retired now, yeah.

• 17:56Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that nice?

• 17:57Speaker 07

  Uh, yeah.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna become their parent, you know, that's, that's on the rise.

• 17:59Speaker 07

  They live in, I grew up in kind of a, a suburb of Toronto, kind of like, actually a big hockey town.

• 18:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Speaker 07

  But kind of like not, um, like, uh, like a cultural epicenter. But then my parents at some point retired and moved to Vancouver, so, I, yeah. So they live in like, kind of the ultimate place for parents to live.

• 18:17Andrew Santino?

  West coasters?

• 18:18Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 18:19Andrew Santino?

  You went from east coasters to west coasters. Now, are they still Leafs fans over there?

• 18:22Speaker 07

  No, uh.

• 18:24Andrew Santino?

  They changed hands.

• 18:24Speaker 07

  I, no, my, my parent, my family wasn't like huge hockey fans, but, um, yeah, but I am.

• 18:30Andrew Santino?

  Which seems pretty antithetical for a Canadian.

• 18:32Speaker 07

  My dad's a big, uh, college, he's a big Notre Dame fan, a big college football fan. But like, call, but, like, it's odd for a Canadian, but he's like, like, he's, I remember being a kid and I'd be coming home like, bombed, and my dad would be like on the driveway with a transistor radio trying to get like the Notre Dame, before they had like an NBC contract, or whatever, so it's odd for a Canadian.

• 18:54Andrew Santino?

  Why Notre Dame?

• 18:55Speaker 07

  Cause he was taught by Catholic priests and they were Notre Dame fans, and he's, he's just like a lifelong.

• 19:02Andrew Santino?

  It's funny.

• 19:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:03Andrew Santino?

  We're as Midwest, as a Chicago kid, because you know, that's our neighbor down there.

• 19:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:06Andrew Santino?

  We, you're either kind of groomed to love them or to hate them as a kid. And I bet you can tell which one I am, just by the way I'm talking about it.

• 19:14Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:14Andrew Santino?

  We just, it just was never, it was either like you grew, and, and, and the, the most offensive thing was because we're Irish and we come from like Irish family, and Irish Catholics, they're always like, you love Notre Dame, right?

• 19:23Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:24Andrew Santino?

  Fuck you. I hated that people like put it on us a little bit.

• 19:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:27Andrew Santino?

  So I think part of my hatred was the. Um, there was so much of it in Chicago, like, everybody loved Notre Dame.

• 19:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:35Andrew Santino?

  And I was just so like, yeah, fucking Rudy stinks.

• 19:39Andrew Santino?

  Rudy stinks, it's not even a real story. It's like bothered me for some reason, I don't know why. I, I, it, it, I get it, I get the lore of why people, it's got a lot of that juice to it, that tastes good, but.

• 19:51Speaker 07

  But I was just, anything that was, like, growing up, if you saw someone wearing a Notre Dame shirt in, like, Oshawa, Ontario, you'd be like, I'd tell my dad that night, I'd be like, yeah, the guy was wearing a Notre Dame, like, it was so rare, but anytime something's forced down my throat.

• 20:06Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I hated it, yeah.

• 20:07Speaker 07

  I didn't like it, I, I, like, I grew up, I was, I was a hockey fan, but I wasn't a Leaf fan, because everyone was a Leaf fan. I just got into them later in life, just.

• 20:15Andrew Santino?

  You're a Winnipeg Jets fan, huh?

• 20:17Speaker 07

  I liked, uh, I liked the Rangers, I just always loved New York, so I liked the Rangers and stuff.

• 20:21Andrew Santino?

  You guys are na- it's like, you can adopt the New York team.

• 20:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:24Andrew Santino?

  You're allowed to.

• 20:25Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:25Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever been to, uh, see, that's funny, because any Canadian I know, there's a lot of good Canadians in my life, football, it's a rare one for American football, but.

• 20:33Speaker 07

  Especially college ball.

• 20:35Andrew Santino?

  College football, even more specific. Well, like, CFL, I went to a CFL game one time, and I was like, I do understand why they don't really love pro football, it's not, it's.

• 20:44Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's wild, the field is like round.

• 20:47Andrew Santino?

  Totally different.

• 20:47Speaker 07

  Like, the field's so wide.

• 20:48Andrew Santino?

  It's just a different size, yeah, it's a little strange, I mean, still fun, I went to go see Edmonton Eskimos. We did like a whole, I did a sports show and they, they were like, go watch an Eskimos game, and we went, and it was cool.

• 20:58Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:59Andrew Santino?

  But I was also like, the level of play in the United States, professional football, it's like, oh my god.

• 21:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's.

• 21:05Andrew Santino?

  It's unbelievable, the difference is insane.

• 21:07Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 21:07Andrew Santino?

  It looks like high school to pro, I mean, it's.

• 21:09Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's, yeah, I, I, I was never a, yeah, I wasn't a CFL fan, we'd go to games when I was a kid and stuff like that, and it was fun.

• 21:16Andrew Santino?

  Because the tickets were probably like six bucks.

• 21:17Speaker 07

  Tickets were probably inexpensive, I wasn't buying them at the time, but yeah.

• 21:20Andrew Santino?

  No, no, you weren't purchasing tickets when you were little, dude?

• 21:22Speaker 07

  No, no, but next time, when I go home for Christmas, I'll be throwing around CFL tickets.

• 21:26Andrew Santino?

  In the parking lot, man? You gotta hustle, you gotta get out there and fucking hustle, like the old barking days in New York. When did you move to New York to do stand-up?

• 21:32Speaker 07

  Uh, probably about 12 years ago, I missed all the barking stuff, I'd actually done a little bit of like American TV and stuff before I moved to New York.

• 21:40Andrew Santino?

  That's even better, man.

• 21:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, so I missed all the barking shit, I'd walk by them every night.

• 21:44Andrew Santino?

  See, you, see, New York, East Coasters bark for people that, at home, like, they, you know, guys would stand out on the corner and say, comedy show, comedy show. It's a thing that a lot of young comics have to do and then the west coast guys, we don't bark because there's no walk, we have no street traffic, foot traffic. So for the west coast guys, we have a lot of bringer shows when you're young. You have to get, listen, all the people in your office or your day job to come see you at night.

• 22:05Speaker 07

  The last people you want to see you.

• 22:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, but you like, I need this because they only let me on if I bring three people.

• 22:11Speaker 07

  It's, yeah.

• 22:11Andrew Santino?

  It's disgusting. It's such a scam. It's so gross.

• 22:14Speaker 07

  I started, but I, so I had done, I had done like some stuff in Canada and I'd done, uh, some like, I did Craig Ferguson a couple of times and I thought I had credits. And I arrived in New York and they were like, yeah, we don't give like, don't give a shit. So I was, I, I was just above barking. I arrived and I was closing the show. Everyone else would, had to bark and then I, I, they, I got to go on at the end, but it was, it, oh god, those shows are so rough. It was a place called, um, The World Cafe, above Broadway. Like I was dying to get a spot at Broadway. I was in like the cafe and the people that would sit on the stage. So I, it's like, there's one thing to do a check spot, it's another thing to be like in the crowd during the check spot.

• 22:56Speaker 07

  People are working the thing and they're like, just the level of respect where if there was something was wrong, I had people be like, hey, uh, you know what I mean?

• 23:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I didn't have a Chardonnay. That table had a Chardonnay.

• 23:06Speaker 07

  Did you have a bit about that? And I'm like, I fucking moved here. I like ended a relationship with my girlfriend. I'm not watching my nephew grow up because I'm fucking in New York City.

• 23:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but it's working now.

• 23:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:18Andrew Santino?

  Don't you feel good now?

• 23:19Speaker 07

  I do, I, I, I, yeah, I feel, I feel good now.

• 23:22Andrew Santino?

  You should. Yeah, you should. Would you stay, are you gonna stay in New York, you think, or no?

• 23:26Speaker 07

  I think so. I, like, I, I love New York. It's so funny. I was thinking when I, on the drive here, I was like, it's so weird how LA and New York, it's like, it's just so fifty, they're such strong things for both things.

• 23:38Andrew Santino?

  Well, I mean, we like it because it's easy and quiet and you kind of can just disappear out here. I think you, you can't really disappear in New York. You could try. It's tough.

• 23:47Speaker 07

  I have tried. I've moved, I lived, I lived, I moved so I'd be walking just from the cellar. I was a fifteen minute walk.

• 23:52Andrew Santino?

  You're in the village? Oh, oh, yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 07

  Forever. And then I just, this year I moved to Brooklyn and it feels, I feel like I'm in like a new little town.

• 23:59Andrew Santino?

  You are, and you can kind of get away a little bit more. When you're in Manhattan, it's like dude, you're fucking, you're drowning in humans. You're drowning in everyone else's emotions and thoughts and here, dude, I go to my little fucking getaway and I'm gone. Dude, I don't talk to anybody. I go to my little nook and I hide out with my dog and my wife. But I get it's, it's whatever suits you, but it's like nowadays, LA is quieter than ever. So when I do go to New York, I get excited to go spend a week or two there because I'm like, this is more quiet now because the business has kind of dissipated a little bit and things aren't really the same in LA.

• 24:31Speaker 07

  It's funny that now I feel this is the move. I feel like LA, this is the time to move to LA.

• 24:36Andrew Santino?

  I should. I would argue this is definitely the time to move. I mean, we're definitely going to have an economic collapse here any day now. Knock on some wood. Let's go, baby. Government's going to fuck everything up. It's already ruined. I mean, might as well let the bottom fall out, you know? The rock is coming at us. Let's hope it hits.

• 24:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 24:50Andrew Santino?

  Let's hope, dude, it's coming. Nah, I think now might be the time to move to LA. I'll move out. You move in. You want my place?

• 24:56Speaker 07

  Would you move out? Where would you go?

• 24:58Andrew Santino?

  I've got a couple of places on the map that I've darted.

• 25:00Speaker 07

  Really?

• 25:01Andrew Santino?

  What do you think I'm going to end up going after all this time?

• 25:04Speaker 07

  Colorado.

• 25:05Andrew Santino?

  Colorado feels like the one. Yeah, I do feel like Colorado.

• 25:07Speaker 07

  I had a flight home, like an early flight, uh, leaving Colorado and, uh, I bumped into Rory.

• 25:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I love Rory.

• 25:15Speaker 07

  Rory's so fucking great, but sorry, I swear a lot on this podcast. I apologize. Oh, really?

• 25:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. My grandmother edits it, so she will go, bad boys, bad boys.

• 25:26Speaker 07

  No, I'm sorry. I'm excited. I've been wanting to do this.

• 25:29Andrew Santino?

  No, dude, you're, you're good. No, Rory, you rented a Rory at the airport?

• 25:33Speaker 07

  He, yeah, at the airport. He lives in Denver and I was like, wow, he seems quite chipper. He like, it's, I get, because you can kind of do that now. I, I think, uh, Colorado, I don't know. I, I, and I miss, I mean, I just, I miss Canada. I'm a brand new American citizen. It's been two weeks.

• 25:50Andrew Santino?

  I know. We were just going to say, don't come after him, Ice. I know Ice is also watching. He's one of us now, dude. As of how many weeks?

• 25:56Speaker 07

  Two weeks.

• 25:57Andrew Santino?

  Two weeks. And you had to take that dumb test that we don't even know how to do?

• 26:00Speaker 07

  Uh, dude, I, I take like, from when I was a kid, when we would cross the border, it was such a, like my dad would start like advising us what to say and what to do. He was like a big deal, right? To cross the border and like, you got to say how much stuff, how much money you spent, blah, blah, blah and all this stuff. So I'm like so intense about. Things to do with the US government that I studied for that test. I was getting a hundred percent. One hundred questions. I have a crippling learning disability. You'll read about it. And you will read about it.

• 26:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I will.

• 26:30Speaker 07

  Um, and, uh, I was getting a hundred out of a hundred. I worked on it for months. And then they asked me six questions. I got the first six questions right and then they moved on.

• 26:39Andrew Santino?

  Oh, annoying.

• 26:40Speaker 07

  But a hundred, like, like who, who was president during World War I?

• 26:47Andrew Santino?

  Uh, World War I would have been.

• 26:50Speaker 07

  Get Seamus on the phone.

• 26:52Andrew Santino?

  Damn, dude.

• 26:53Speaker 08

  He would know.

• 26:55Speaker 07

  Would he?

• 26:55Speaker 08

  Yeah, he's a history major.

• 26:56Speaker 07

  Uh.

• 26:57Andrew Santino?

  Uh, World War I was, uh, give me the first initial.

• 27:00Speaker 07

  W.

• 27:01Speaker 08

  That, yeah.

• 27:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, was it Woodrow Wilson?

• 27:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I did think it was Woodrow. You know what's so funny? My instinct was Woodrow Wilson, but then I bailed on it. You know when you like your brain goes, don't, that's wrong?

• 27:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:09Andrew Santino?

  Don't say it.

• 27:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:10Andrew Santino?

  Like, I literally said in my mind.

• 27:12Speaker 07

  And then you're right, and then afterwards, like, fuck, why?

• 27:14Andrew Santino?

  I see, I know, I shouldn't have bailed. That's why I'd be so bad on one of those, uh, on like, uh, on Jeopardy?

• 27:18Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:19Andrew Santino?

  We did, we played Jeopardy the other night and we fucking stunk. Cause your, your instinct is probably right.

• 27:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:24Andrew Santino?

  But you always go, that's an idiot. Don't say that, you moron.

• 27:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:27Andrew Santino?

  That's completely right. We did that like five times.

• 27:30Speaker 08

  Negative.

• 27:30Speaker 07

  Where were you guys playing Jeopardy?

• 27:31Andrew Santino?

  We did it here in the studio for fun.

• 27:33Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 27:33Andrew Santino?

  But we were all in the negative because your instinct, you always second guess because you think, well, Jeopardy's gotta have a curve ball. It's gotta be, you know, it's like, well, that's what every moron would say.

• 27:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:44Speaker 08

  I have a hard one. Who was the president after Grant?

• 27:47Speaker 07

  That wasn't on the test.

• 27:48Andrew Santino?

  As you listed, S. Grant, who was second, who was after him?

• 27:50Speaker 08

  Who was after him? Term eighteen seventy-seven to eighteen eighty-one?

• 27:54Andrew Santino?

  Uh, after Grant was?

• 27:58Speaker 08

  I didn't even give you the initials. R. H.

• 28:01Speaker 00

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• 28:16Speaker 01

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• 29:13Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Ryan, uh, is it Ryan?

• 29:16Speaker 07

  Is it President Ryan?

• 29:17Andrew Santino?

  In the 1800s named Ryan? No, wait, RH? Reginald, Ronald? I don't even know if he'll get the first name.

• 29:26Speaker 07

  Remy.

• 29:28Andrew Santino?

  Nope. Wait a minute, RH? Hammond is the last name. Nope. Harland Hangnail, Hangnail? Yeah, it is Hangnail.

• 29:37Speaker 07

  Is it Hangnail, Reginald Hangnail?

• 29:38Andrew Santino?

  Ryan Hangnail. What is his name? Ruthabird B. Hayes. Oh, Ruthabird Hayes!

• 29:42Speaker 07

  Oh, shit, I'd never even-

• 29:43Andrew Santino?

  Who's the guy that died in the tub?

• 29:44Speaker 07

  I'd never heard about him.

• 29:45Speaker 08

  That was, wasn't that Taft?

• 29:46Andrew Santino?

  Taft died in the tub. That's gotta be the coolest guy to die in the tub. The president died in a tub is so rock and roll to me. He was fucking eating, you know, he had gout, he was all like slovenly and gross.

• 29:57Speaker 07

  What was it, was it a heart attack?

• 29:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 08

  I guess he didn't-

• 30:00Speaker 07

  Drowning?

• 30:00Speaker 08

  I guess he didn't die.

• 30:01Andrew Santino?

  He didn't die? He had a heart attack in the tub?

• 30:03Speaker 08

  Uh, it's a fable.

• 30:04Speaker 07

  Oh, so he's okay?

• 30:06Andrew Santino?

  He's alive.

• 30:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 30:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. He's 148 years old, he's alive.

• 30:09Speaker 08

  I guess he just, yeah, Taft just needed a bigger tub.

• 30:13Speaker 07

  Oh, okay.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  Why do we all think he died in the tub?

• 30:15Speaker 07

  I, I, I've only heard you say it.

• 30:16Speaker 08

  Oh, no, I guess he, I guess the myth was also he got stuck in it, he didn't die in it also either.

• 30:20Speaker 07

  Was he a larger fella?

• 30:22Speaker 08

  He was a big, he was a big boy.

• 30:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he was a fat hog.

• 30:23Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  Are you a big history buff, outside of that, or no?

• 30:26Speaker 07

  No, no, but I just learned, I just learned the 100 questions. And I'm really happy about the 100 questions, but if someone goes like this grant question, which I thought was kind of enough.

• 30:34Andrew Santino?

  It was kind of bullshit.

• 30:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, it was kind of-

• 30:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it smelled like bullshit.

• 30:36Speaker 08

  No, that was really hard.

• 30:37Andrew Santino?

  Hey man, turn your fucking mic off right now. You're not on the show, okay? You're skep, you're, dude, look at me. You're pissing me right off, and you know that, dude. He does this all the time. He's my son. I've raised him, for how many years have I raised you?

• 30:50Speaker 07

  Three.

• 30:50Andrew Santino?

  Three years.

• 30:51Speaker 07

  Two and a half.

• 30:52Andrew Santino?

  And I shook his father's hand when I taped my special in Minnesota where he's from.

• 30:55Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 30:55Andrew Santino?

  And I shook his father's hand because I had met him before.

• 30:58Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 30:58Andrew Santino?

  But I said, you know, it's a pleasure to be a second dad to your son. And he was like so emotional was like, oh, thank you for taking care of him. Because when he moved out here, you know, they were afraid he was gonna get into drugs and hookers and. And well, some of that's true. But I protected him graciously.

• 31:13Speaker 07

  Oh, that's great.

• 31:14Andrew Santino?

  Because we don't, I don't have children. We can't have kids. So he's been my adopted son.

• 31:18Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 31:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I do this now. I'm learning. I think this is a revelation I've had the past couple of years that I'm like, what if I just make people in my life my family and help them, whatever it is?

• 31:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:31Andrew Santino?

  Not saying like pay for their life or whatever, although pay for your life, yeah, usually. But like, you know, how do I, how do I? I'm writing about it a lot on stage right now about how it's like this weird time when people are like, you don't, are you married? Yeah, you know, you have kids and you know, and then it's this whole next chunk of bullshit of like,

• 31:52Andrew Santino?

  inquisitive nonsense.

• 31:53Speaker 07

  It's so personal.

• 31:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's nobody's fucking business.

• 31:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:56Andrew Santino?

  But, you know, I write a couple of jokes about it as throwaways, but the truth really is, I did, it did kind of ignite me to start to um find more purpose.

• 32:07Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:07Andrew Santino?

  And be like, well, what do I want then? Do I want, do we want to try to like adopt a family? Do we try to have a family another way? There's many options, many ways to do it.

• 32:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:16Andrew Santino?

  And I think the conclusion we've come to, so partially, is that I'll just start adopting people in my lives, family and friends.

• 32:25Speaker 07

  That's beautiful.

• 32:26Andrew Santino?

  And making them this thing and helping people if they need a thing or how can I facilitate someone to, to continue whatever dream or path they're looking to do? Can I help them with my resources?

• 32:37Speaker 07

  That's amazing.

• 32:38Andrew Santino?

  I guess, right? I'm trying. I gotta do something.

• 32:40Speaker 07

  I've found recently it popped in my head that, because I've just had friends for so long, like dudes that I grew up with, whatever. You're like, they're actually kind of family now. Like, they are brothers, really.

• 32:50Andrew Santino?

  Totally. Yeah, you're, I mean, do you, how many brothers, sisters you got?

• 32:53Speaker 07

  I have my sister.

• 32:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. So like, I only have a sister too. I didn't have that brotherly thing.

• 32:58Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:58Andrew Santino?

  So I think you adopt other men in your life as like. You get really close because you're like, I never had this.

• 33:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 33:05Andrew Santino?

  Bro shit. You know what I mean? Like you had your pop.

• 33:07Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 33:07Andrew Santino?

  It's just different when you, you know, you see guys that grow with brothers, two sides of it too, because you know, there's also the beat the shit out of you fist fight.

• 33:14Speaker 07

  Yeah, Seamus could be quite rough. No, you're the oldest. You're the oldest. Oh, okay.

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but Seamus could fuck him up, dude. He's a pussy. He talks a big game with that mustache, but it ain't true. He's a soft little boy. You should see when I, when I, when I do that to him. He gets so nervous.

• 33:28Speaker 07

  And I mean this as a compliment, but when I met you, you have the best look for a podcast producer. It's unbelievable.

• 33:33Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 33:33Speaker 07

  Like, you can't get better.

• 33:35Andrew Santino?

  You will be that for the rest of your life. You're like comic book guy from The Simpsons. You just get fatter. Nothing else changes. You look identical as time has gone on.

• 33:44Speaker 07

  Look handsome, young.

• 33:45Andrew Santino?

  He's a handsome kid.

• 33:46Speaker 07

  Young man.

• 33:47Andrew Santino?

  He does pretty good.

• 33:47Speaker 07

  I also wore my glasses today. I didn't want to put them on.

• 33:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he wanted to turn you on.

• 33:49Speaker 07

  Oh, shit.

• 33:50Andrew Santino?

  He knows you like glasses.

• 33:51Speaker 07

  Yeah, you know about, okay.

• 33:52Andrew Santino?

  I know how horny you get for glasses.

• 33:53Speaker 07

  Well, yeah.

• 33:54Andrew Santino?

  Are you a single guy? What's the old Hedberg joke?

• 33:57Speaker 07

  Uh. I don't have a girlfriend.

• 33:59Andrew Santino?

  I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a woman that would be very upset if she heard me say that. Yeah. What a good joke.

• 34:04Speaker 07

  It's so good. Yeah, he, yeah, I mean.

• 34:07Andrew Santino?

  Did you ever get to see him live?

• 34:08Speaker 07

  Oh dude, I loved Hedberg. And we drove, he, he was playing Seattle on a Friday. And he, uh, was it, it was like a new club? And on the, he showed up and he thought the tickets were too expensive. He thought the drinks are too expensive for his fans. So we decided to not do the Saturday show. We were already drove down to Seattle. So we did like an open mic and then we found out at the last minute, he did the show after, anyways. So I didn't get to see Hedberg. I know.

• 34:39Andrew Santino?

  What a weird thing to be like, I'm mad at these things. I'm going to stop. It's like, just do your show for cheap then or something.

• 34:43Speaker 07

  Yeah, but I think he wasn't like happy with the way, it was like a new club and I think he spent time in Seattle, right? So I think he is like, I think he went to this new club and was like bombed and he was in his hometown and all those like hometown people were coming and being overcharged and stuff. But, uh, yeah, I guess it, yeah. So I didn't, I, no. Did you get to see him?

• 35:00Andrew Santino?

  I did.

• 35:00Speaker 07

  Oh, man.

• 35:01Andrew Santino?

  One time in Tempe, Arizona. Yeah, I got to see him. And this was shortly before he died, if I'm not incorrect timeline wise. He wasn't, he wasn't dead too far after and it was a bummer a little bit, dude, because he was pretty cooked.

• 35:11Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 35:12Andrew Santino?

  I just think he wasn't present at that point. I think he was just kind of like going through the motions or like, I didn't look like he was enjoying doing stand up.

• 35:20Speaker 07

  How far, how soon did he pass after that?

• 35:24Andrew Santino?

  If I'm wrong, I mean, we'd have to look up the timeline, but I'm pretty sure it was, because he died in, what year did he die? Hedberg died in.

• 35:34Speaker 07

  He died in two thousand five.

• 35:35Andrew Santino?

  Five, yeah, that's right.

• 35:36Speaker 07

  March thirtieth.

• 35:37Andrew Santino?

  Right, so, so that was my junior year or senior year in college. So, right, yeah, probably like a year later he had died.

• 35:45Speaker 07

  Oh, okay.

• 35:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it sucked. Like, I was fucking bummed, because the show was, I mean, like, and the girl that got me tickets, I, is this girl that I, like, you know, was head over heels for, and she was like, I've got Mitch Hedberg tickets, I was like, you're the coolest woman that ever walked here.

• 35:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, totally.

• 35:58Andrew Santino?

  I was like, I'll fucking get you pregnant now, in college. Like, I was obsessed with her.

• 36:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:02Andrew Santino?

  And then, we went to the show, and she wasn't a big comedy nerd, she just knew I loved comedy, so she kinda was like, is, oh, is that awesome? And I was like, not really.

• 36:10Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 36:11Andrew Santino?

  Just because he wasn't there, really, I could feel that he wasn't engaged.

• 36:14Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:15Andrew Santino?

  And kind of like, he was a little like, fuck this, not as, I'm too cool for this, but also, probably.

• 36:21Speaker 07

  Well, if you're partying and stuff like that.

• 36:22Andrew Santino?

  He's probably dejected from fucking, you know, four days of being on the run, and blah, blah, blah.

• 36:25Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:27Andrew Santino?

  But it did also give me a, a window, an early window into the nights that you feel that way.

• 36:32Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:33Andrew Santino?

  Without the, without the fucking horse, you know, without the heroin.

• 36:35Speaker 07

  Oh, okay, yeah.

• 36:36Andrew Santino?

  But like, the nights where you're like, on your fourth or sixth show, and you're like, I don't like the way this rhythm has been going, you know?

• 36:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:42Andrew Santino?

  And you're just kind of in it.

• 36:43Speaker 07

  I had such a wake-up call, I was playing some small club, I don't even think it's there anymore, but it was in Des Moines, and a guy had flown from England to see me in Des Moines, which I'm like, don't do that.

• 36:53Andrew Santino?

  Don't do that, don't do that.

• 36:54Speaker 07

  See me in New York.

• 36:55Andrew Santino?

  Please don't do that.

• 36:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, anyways.

• 36:57Andrew Santino?

  Or just don't see me at all, please don't waste your money, that's crazy.

• 36:59Speaker 07

  It's so, it's so.

• 37:00Andrew Santino?

  That's crazy.

• 37:01Speaker 07

  So I was so, that's always in my head now, because I'm like, because, could you imagine?

• 37:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 07

  And the show was fine, but it was like, it was a small club in Des Moines, and the show, maybe the show was good, I, I don't remember it being a bad show, but I do remember thinking like, oh, you gotta bring it every fucking time.

• 37:17Andrew Santino?

  How did you know? He emailed you?

• 37:18Speaker 07

  I, I meet people after the show.

• 37:20Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he told you that?

• 37:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:21Andrew Santino?

  Well, thank God you didn't know before the show, that would have fucking ruined you.

• 37:23Speaker 07

  Oh, my God, yes.

• 37:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you'd have bombed so bad.

• 37:27Speaker 07

  Um, it trips me out, it trips, like that Seinfeld episode where he's got the pilot on the cloud.

• 37:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the pilot.

• 37:32Speaker 07

  I would just be like, looking at the British guy, but it's so crazy, how many, like, because you, there's not a direct, it's like Heathrow to Des Moines.

• 37:39Andrew Santino?

  No, doesn't exist, no, he had to go to New York, then go to Chicago, then go to Iowa.

• 37:43Speaker 07

  Yes, yeah, but why you'd pick Des Moines, and no offense to the, the good people of Des Moines, but.

• 37:47Andrew Santino?

  No, a little bit, a little bit of an offense, that sounds like a little bit, the club's not open anymore, it's, who knows?

• 37:52Speaker 07

  I don't think it is.

• 37:53Andrew Santino?

  I've never played Iowa.

• 37:54Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 37:55Andrew Santino?

  And I'm from Chicago, I've never once, I played every state. In the Midwest, except Iowa. I've never even, I don't even think I've stepped foot in Iowa.

• 38:04Speaker 07

  I've played Des Moines a couple, I think I played Des Moines fairly recently too. There's another club there.

• 38:08Andrew Santino?

  Like a Hilarities or a Funny Bone or something like that?

• 38:11Speaker 07

  I think it mu- it must be a Funny Bone or something.

• 38:13Andrew Santino?

  Gotta be, bro. There's only like four now. It's like, the comedy clubs have turned into like what, Amazon? It's either Amazon owns it, or BlackRock, or Apple. It's like, four companies own everything. And that's kinda how like Funny Bone, Helium, you know, Improv.

• 38:26Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 38:27Speaker 08

  Yeah, Funny Bone Des Moines.

• 38:28Andrew Santino?

  Funny Bone, there it is. We guessed it, baby. We got it. Funny Bones. Good on Funny Bones. You're on tour right now, by the way.

• 38:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 38:34Andrew Santino?

  For people that need to go see.

• 38:35Speaker 07

  Oh, that would be great.

• 38:36Andrew Santino?

  A great comedian. Uh, go see him now. He's literally all over the place. December, I looked on your schedule for fun. I think you're all of December, January, February, March, and then you have April too, or no?

• 38:48Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, April. I'm all the way till May. Yeah.

• 38:51Andrew Santino?

  And then you take the summer down?

• 38:52Speaker 07

  Uh, I do like fewer weekends in the summer, and then it's in, and then I start up in the fall again. Which feels so, I remember there was a year where I didn't get booked for a full year. I just did seller spots for a full year.

• 39:04Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 39:04Speaker 07

  So now getting to work all the time. Yeah. I remember I did, I did the Comedy Central Half Hour. And I was like, here we go, American dream, here they come. And then just, agent did not come.

• 39:18Andrew Santino?

  What year was your, was your half hour? Where did you film it?

• 39:21Speaker 07

  I filmed it in Boston. I did it with Sam. Uh, I believe so, yeah. I was in a club.

• 39:26Andrew Santino?

  We did the same, I think we did the same, we were two of the same, not at the same, we didn't film at the same time? But I think ours were at the same time.

• 39:32Speaker 07

  Oh, really? Cause I, I did it the year with Sam and List.

• 39:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's gotta be us. Isn't that me? What, what year did I do it? I didn't film with them.

• 39:39Speaker 07

  Uh-huh.

• 39:40Andrew Santino?

  But like, I think we were part of the same.

• 39:42Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 39:42Andrew Santino?

  Whatever the, whatever, season, season?

• 39:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 39:46Andrew Santino?

  Whatever they used to call them. When they're like, hey, we'll.

• 39:48Speaker 07

  Yes, uh.

• 39:49Andrew Santino?

  They're like, we'll give you six bucks to, to do this.

• 39:51Speaker 08

  Yeah, you guys, you guys were the same year.

• 39:53Andrew Santino?

  We were the same year.

• 39:54Speaker 07

  Oh, well, that's cool to know.

• 39:56Speaker 08

  With Beth Stelling and Brooks.

• 39:57Andrew Santino?

  I was with Brooks, Wheeling, and Beth Stelling, and Hampton Yount. Do you remember Hampton?

• 40:01Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 40:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah Hampton and. And Barry. And Barry Rothbart, that's exactly right.

• 40:05Speaker 07

  I got, I remember Barry too. I kinda got screwed cuz I went, I had like a sweet spot midweek. And then I had like a weekend, and it was a good weekend, I think it was like Acme and my, I ended up getting moved, I had to do, I had to go first. And they were like fucking monkey wrenching cameras and shit like, like seconds before I was on stage. And I remember, it wasn't a bad crowd, but I remember, you know when you're performing and you're feeling them warm up? Like you, you can just feel, it's like watching a flower bloom and you're like, god, this flower is gonna be gorgeous for the next guy. Like, you're just like, god damn. And I remember feeling them warm up and I was like, oh boy. Yeah, but um.

• 40:45Andrew Santino?

  Those tapings are always tough. People have no idea, like those things, they feel every camera, there's huge cranes in the way, it's like they, they know they're in a thing. It feels so not comedy clubby.

• 40:57Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 40:58Andrew Santino?

  So it does something to the crowd.

• 40:59Speaker 07

  Oh, and also, I said to the, when they, they were the person that, and then she was really nice and, and she does a lot of people's comedy specials and she's like, very, very talented. But for me, I think someone said, oh, we riffed with the crowd a lot. And, and she mentioned something to me and I'm like, don't, don't take that into consideration when you seat the crowd, just put who, just, as random as the universe wants the person to sit in the front, have them. And then, before I went on, she said something like, uh, you're gonna be really happy with who I put up front. And I was like, oh, you did it. And it was like all these people, like dudes and women who, this was their opportunity to be seen on TV and you could tell they were all like,

• 41:36Speaker 07

  like dressed up and miniskirts and stuff. And I was like, oh, this is just as, this was, I dedicated my life for this and you fucking put these morons in the front? Like it was like no one wanted, it was so bad.

• 41:47Andrew Santino?

  You didn't talk to anybody though?

• 41:48Speaker 07

  I did. I was like five rows back. I was like bird's eye, like boom, normal person.

• 41:53Andrew Santino?

  How about that guy?

• 41:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:54Andrew Santino?

  And the guy in the front's like, what the fuck, man?

• 41:55Speaker 07

  I used to do this thing where I would bring someone on stage and I was the whole show trying to find someone. And I ended up just getting so lucky and getting this great person. Cuz the problem is, if someone's too eager to do it, I used to do this breakup sketch. It's on my Instagram, you've, you've seen it.

• 42:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, oh yeah, we've all seen it.

• 42:11Speaker 07

  Seamus talks about it. He's a history buff.

• 42:13Andrew Santino?

  Seamus, look up the Instagram sketch, I know you love it very much.

• 42:16Speaker 07

  Anyways, so she was cool, but it was hell cuz I was performing and I was trying to get the ta, like just to get the temperature and it was just like, Girls that were dressed up like they were going to a nightclub that really had nothing to say.

• 42:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they, well, because they're for TV, baby. They're ready for that big.

• 42:29Speaker 07

  This was their big break.

• 42:30Andrew Santino?

  Big break. Meanwhile, we go do it. It's not our big break. And you cry backstage to your best friend, which is what I did. I got off and I bawled like a baby.

• 42:38Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 42:39Andrew Santino?

  I think the stress and the pressure annoyed me so much that when I got back there, I was like, it was terrible. And it ended up not being bad at all. It was fine.

• 42:45Speaker 07

  It was fine because they did whatever they did.

• 42:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was fine, but I hated it. I was like, this sucks.

• 42:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 42:50Andrew Santino?

  It didn't feel good.

• 42:51Speaker 07

  I didn't work for a year afterwards, so that's how mine went.

• 42:54Andrew Santino?

  So it went real good.

• 42:54Speaker 07

  Yeah, no. I think when you saw it, it looks fine. And it wasn't like I was bombing, but I was warming up the crowd where I was like, this isn't on me.

• 43:02Andrew Santino?

  I had the opposite effect. I think I went second to last, which was a bummer because everyone was already fucking cooked. And they had shuffled in a few people and then they kept a few other people and I was like, well, this is weird.

• 43:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:12Andrew Santino?

  Like, some people stayed, some people are new. It's like, I think there is a thi- this is such stupid bullshit nerd talk, but like, there is a psychological thing that happens when, when there's group think. And there's the same kind of timeline that exists between people in a room.

• 43:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:28Andrew Santino?

  They can get together on something easier.

• 43:30Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:30Andrew Santino?

  But it's almost as if even though they don't know each other, when they're like, new people, it fucks with their head.

• 43:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:35Andrew Santino?

  Do you know what I mean? It's some, when they shuffle people and move and they're like, what's going on?

• 43:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:39Andrew Santino?

  Like, they get nervous, like, as if something is really different, but it's not, but it is.

• 43:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:45Andrew Santino?

  So it does something to the way that you emote and react. I mean, there's so much psychology to audiences.

• 43:50Speaker 07

  There is.

• 43:51Andrew Santino?

  It's cra- it's kind of crazy. Like, the way that some nights you're like, this audience is unbelievably gr- how are they so good?

• 43:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:56Andrew Santino?

  And then the crowd right after them, you're like, who the fuck are these people?

• 43:59Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:00Andrew Santino?

  What did they learn to be audiences?

• 44:01Speaker 07

  Because people always say like, it's, it must be so hard what you do. People say that about comedians. And I don't, I mean, you, you learn, once you learn how to do it, it's not, but there's factors that no one takes into account.

• 44:14Andrew Santino?

  That's right, yeah. Stuff you just can't control.

• 44:16Speaker 07

  Yeah, like, someone would come into a room and be like, oh, this grand room, like, whoa, this show's gonna be amazing. You're like, the show's gonna be shit. Because you could park a 747 in this room. The ceiling and there's gonna be no, like, you know what I mean? You could just tear.

• 44:28Andrew Santino?

  It's going straight up, baby. Can you put some of the crowd up there? Because then it'll be funny. If they're above me, look. Fucking down.

• 44:34Speaker 07

  It's, there's so many little things where, and you can't even express it. Like you just gotta be like, someone's like, oh, that shit was good. You're like, oh, thanks. But in your head, you're like, are you fucking serious? There was round tables, there was a fucking booth along the, but like, there's just like, you know what I mean? Like you're, you're like, yeah.

• 44:52Andrew Santino?

  The little things you would change.

• 44:53Speaker 07

  Yeah, and, and it makes all, uh, the difference in the world. And, and you can tell if a crowd's good, you can tell if, you, you just can't just read them, you just learn that thing. So, but once you learn stand-up, I don't think it's that hard, like it's not hard enough for people to, you know what I mean? Like a fucking, somebody who does like, uh, surgery to say to a comedian, oh, I really respect what you do, you're like, don't.

• 45:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, please don't.

• 45:18Speaker 07

  What you do is, yeah.

• 45:19Andrew Santino?

  This is clown, I'm clown, me clown.

• 45:21Speaker 07

  Yeah, like it's, it's great and you take an experience in your life and you get a bit out of it, there's like, and that's like somewhat of an artistic idea. I'm not like saying it's terrible, but it's really, if it's in the right circumstances, if it's in the comedy cellar, and you know what I mean?

• 45:35Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm. If it's a McDougal, uh, hot room, what, what are the four is your favorite?

• 45:40Speaker 07

  McDougal, for me.

• 45:42Andrew Santino?

  You and me are the same.

• 45:42Speaker 07

  It's just.

• 45:43Andrew Santino?

  Most people say V U and I disagree. I love that room.

• 45:46Speaker 07

  I liked, I really liked the V U, but there's, these rooms have just, like, there's just been so much laughter and so much, it's just, you feel it. You're like, whoa, this is like a really special place.

• 45:57Andrew Santino?

  They do too. That's what we're saying about the psychology of an audience member. They also feel it, cause they're like, it's tiny and it's us. And it's us, and no one knows we're here, and, and we could do anything in this, it just feels like so, you feel powerful.

• 46:10Speaker 07

  There's a mystical thing, and, and there is in certain.

• 46:14Andrew Santino?

  That's why I enter the stage like this.

• 46:15Speaker 07

  Certain rooms.

• 46:15Andrew Santino?

  I walk on, I guys.

• 46:20Andrew Santino?

  Every time I do that room, without a fucking doubt, I do better in that room than I do in any of the other rooms, and it's not even close. The only one, I mean, V U have had some great, great shows.

• 46:30Speaker 07

  It feels so busy, you got the band.

• 46:32Andrew Santino?

  Great shows, but great sets happened for me at McDougal because something in there tickles me in the way where you're like, ooh, we're in this little fucking cave and somebody. It reminds me of growing up in the Midwest basements where, where we hung out.

• 46:44Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 46:45Andrew Santino?

  And it reminds like we're in a basement and we're just, someone's telling dirty jokes and you're like. They're upstairs.

• 46:50Speaker 07

  I mean, that's, I talk about that in my book where it's like that's, I started in basements.

• 46:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:54Speaker 07

  And a good friend of mine came to see me at the cellar and she goes, it's so crazy that I'm now, I'm in this like, you know, world famous basement and you're doing the same, you're still a smart ass and you're still making people laugh.

• 47:08Andrew Santino?

  It's perfect.

• 47:09Speaker 07

  Yeah. And, and also, I mean, I started comedy, I watched comedian and I watched Jerry.

• 47:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 07

  Stand on those stairs and look at his sets and then go down. So for me, my whole goal, like from the first time I, I did stand up was, get to New York and get to the Comedy Cellar.

• 47:25Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 47:25Speaker 07

  That was my whole dream. So much so that like, I got there and I was so content doing spots and stuff. And then instead of watching my friends, like they're like playing theaters and shit. I'm like, oh, I better, I gotta do that.

• 47:38Andrew Santino?

  I gotta amp this up.

• 47:38Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:39Andrew Santino?

  I gotta turn it up to 11. Well, that's just to be for the store. I wanted to move to the west coast and like the Comedy Store was kind of this lore, cool thing. And being a part of like getting your name on the wall, that whole thing getting passed and all that, like that shit to me was like,

• 47:51Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:52Andrew Santino?

  I need it so fucking bad.

• 47:53Speaker 07

  Yeah. I mean, the Comedy Store and I've played there. I normally don't do spots when I'm in LA, but I'm going to start, but uh.

• 47:59Andrew Santino?

  No, don't.

• 48:00Speaker 07

  No?

• 48:01Andrew Santino?

  I think it's cool that you don't.

• 48:02Speaker 07

  Really?

• 48:03Andrew Santino?

  Dude, there's days, there's weeks where I've gone to New York and I won't do spots and people are like mind boggled. I'm like, sometimes maybe I'll just go get food and disappear for a little while, go shop or go write and goes, it's kind of like an excuse for me to pretend like I'm on a work trip, but do no work.

• 48:18Speaker 07

  Yeah. Well, cause my thing is if I was going to do a spot in LA tonight, if I was doing a spot in New York, I would, you know, drop in some new and I'd get some work done. But LA, I'd feel like people don't know me. I have to make a first impression. You're doing older stuff. Like I'm not getting any work done. You know what I mean?

• 48:33Andrew Santino?

  Right. It feels like it's a waste a little bit.

• 48:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 48:35Andrew Santino?

  So what are you going to do instead at night?

• 48:37Speaker 07

  I'm going to go for dinner.

• 48:38Andrew Santino?

  You're going to go out and have a nice dinner?

• 48:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 48:40Andrew Santino?

  Going to get fucking ripped?

• 48:42Speaker 07

  You, I, dude, I kind of stopped drinking.

• 48:44Andrew Santino?

  Good for you.

• 48:44Speaker 07

  Yeah. Do you drink?

• 48:45Andrew Santino?

  Anything else?

• 48:46Speaker 07

  Anything else I've stopped?

• 48:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Well, I mean, are you doing?

• 48:49Speaker 07

  Negative self-talk?

• 48:49Andrew Santino?

  No. No, are you, do you consume anything else?

• 48:53Speaker 07

  Uh, not really.

• 48:55Andrew Santino?

  No weed?

• 48:55Speaker 07

  No.

• 48:56Andrew Santino?

  No mushrooms?

• 48:56Speaker 07

  Uh...

• 48:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you do.

• 48:58Speaker 07

  If I, a right occasion, if I'm going to like a Dead show or something like that, I might have a little, something to put a little pep in my step.

• 49:05Andrew Santino?

  You know what I like to do? I like to take a little microdose and go golfing.

• 49:08Speaker 07

  Oh, that's great.

• 49:09Andrew Santino?

  Maybe one of the best things I've ever discovered.

• 49:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, have you golfed your whole life?

• 49:12Andrew Santino?

  Nah, you know, I learned it kind of when I was a kid and then I got turned off by it because it was like, I didn't like it. I was like, what, this, my dad was like, you should do this, you'll like it, we can do it together. Then I just really loved basketball and I was like, I don't wanna, I just wanna play basketball.

• 49:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 49:28Andrew Santino?

  So I kinda quit, so to speak, and then in college, uh, once in a great while, I'd go out with a few guys, but it was really just getting fucking drunk and it wasn't even really it. And then, when I moved out here, you can't afford it, you when you're young, so no, I never really played. And then I'd say like around my, around thirty, I really started to get in again.

• 49:47Speaker 07

  Oh, cool.

• 49:48Andrew Santino?

  I really was like, okay, I have time, a little bit of money, and I could do it. It's just it's time consumption.

• 49:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 49:53Andrew Santino?

  If you have the time.

• 49:54Speaker 07

  But if there's something that you do that you love that is so, I like...

• 49:57Andrew Santino?

  I'm obsessed.

• 49:59Speaker 07

  That's why, I like watching The Leafs and I love listening to The Grateful Dead.

• 50:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 07

  Cause it's so far from, like, you need something that's far from comedy.

• 50:07Andrew Santino?

  Couldn't agree more.

• 50:08Speaker 07

  But I would love something where you're outside and you're, you know what I mean?

• 50:10Andrew Santino?

  That's my cell. Whenever somebody's like, golf is stupid, I'm always like, look at this. Like, I did, I think Rogan and I got into an argument about this and I was like, dude, he's like, golf is so dumb. I was like, first of all, do you like hanging out with your buddies for a couple hours and like, maybe having a drink or maybe not?

• 50:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 50:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was like, great. Cause he does it on his fucking podcast. I was like, that's what you do. I go, you, this is me just hanging out with a friend, having a drink, walking and talking, and also doing an activity. It's basically just like a mobile bar.

• 50:38Speaker 07

  Totally.

• 50:38Andrew Santino?

  I'm just like, I'm throwing darts with a friend at a bar. It's the same idea.

• 50:42Speaker 07

  It's an excuse, cause if you're not doing that, you're not gonna go, hey dude, do you wanna get like a beer or each and walk around like a field? You know what I mean? You need an excuse.

• 50:50Andrew Santino?

  Which is rad, by the way. And I will do that. If anybody wants to do that, I'm down. I'm down.

• 50:55Speaker 07

  Every Friday to Saturday night.

• 50:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, when I was young, when we were young comics, we did used to go get a sixer and go sit in the park in the summertime, and nobody wants to do that anymore, cause everyone is adult.

• 51:03Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 51:03Andrew Santino?

  Everyone is adult now.

• 51:05Speaker 07

  Yeah, people are adult.

• 51:06Andrew Santino?

  People have kids and families and responsibilities and... They can't now, but those days were good days. So no, you're clean and sober from everything.

• 51:13Speaker 07

  Uh, no, well, yeah, like I, I, uh, this is, yeah, pretty much. I think I've had maybe ten drinks this year. There's certain people that I will drink with.

• 51:22Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 51:22Speaker 07

  My best friend Pugs.

• 51:23Andrew Santino?

  Love Pugs.

• 51:24Speaker 07

  Yeah. Love Pugs. Toronto, yeah, I'm going to see, yeah, I would have drink, and then I have another best friend who's in the book. Uh, you'll learn all about him, Ronnie, and, uh, in England. And I, and I was in England. I was like, I did shows in England. I was like, I'm not gonna not. Have a drink with my favorite person on the planet.

• 51:40Andrew Santino?

  Where's Pugs in life right now?

• 51:42Speaker 07

  Pugs is in, uh, Toronto, working from home, wearing slacks, wakes up, showers, puts on slacks, works at home. Pugs rules. Pugs, Pugs is in the book too. He, uh, Pugs, Pugs is, yeah, he's, uh, friends in high school. Our lockers were beside each other. We're very. Different.

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 51:57Speaker 07

  And, uh.

• 51:57Andrew Santino?

  What, he works in corporate America?

• 51:59Speaker 07

  He.

• 51:59Andrew Santino?

  Or corporate Canada?

• 52:00Speaker 07

  Canada, yeah, he's got like a office job, cool dude.

• 52:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 52:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's great. He, one of those dudes who's just so cool.

• 52:05Andrew Santino?

  He's a good egg.

• 52:06Speaker 07

  Yeah, and he comes to Dead, like, he, he, he'll like drop everything. I'll be like, dude, we're gonna go, we're gonna see the, the Dead and Coat the Sphere, and he's like. There.

• 52:14Andrew Santino?

  See you there?

• 52:15Speaker 07

  Yeah, we're gonna, where do we go? Oh, dude, we just saw the Dead, um, they did the sixtieth anniversary in. Yeah, and he, he's just there.

• 52:25Andrew Santino?

  I heard that was awesome.

• 52:26Speaker 07

  Yeah, it was good. It was really good. It was great.

• 52:28Andrew Santino?

  I just, big crowds and I get nervous.

• 52:30Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 52:31Andrew Santino?

  Pretty tough. It's gotta be pretty coordinated for me to go.

• 52:34Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 52:35Andrew Santino?

  I just get anxious, man. Big crowds give me, I'm just, I start getting like.

• 52:39Speaker 07

  What about like sporting events and stuff?

• 52:41Andrew Santino?

  Same thing too. I like them, I go to them, but I'm also like, I do think about it very heavily. My social anxiety gets.

• 52:48Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 52:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I just think I just get like a little like.

• 52:52Speaker 07

  It makes sense.

• 52:53Andrew Santino?

  I feel people's energy a lot and it, so when we're going to a place, I'm thinking about it the whole fucking time.

• 53:00Andrew Santino?

  And then I'm hoping if we have an easy way to get like in the thing and then out of the thing.

• 53:03Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I think about it like that. And then usually I'm like. We either leave really early, or we stay way too late.

• 53:09Speaker 07

  Oh, okay.

• 53:10Andrew Santino?

  I don't wanna like sit in the car and have the anxiety of the people in the traffic and the like when we go to Dodgers games, I love it cuz we I can walk.

• 53:17Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 53:17Andrew Santino?

  You can you can walk into the neighborhood, which is fucking rad.

• 53:21Speaker 07

  Oh, and then you will you get a car from there?

• 53:22Andrew Santino?

  Later, yeah, go to a restaurant or a bar and just and then just hang until but that's why, you know, I think it's important for baseball stadiums. As a massive baseball fan, please stay or replace a stadium in a dense metropolitan area. Baseball stadiums should be in places where you can leave and get a beer afterwards. Because now all these new stadiums, they're they build them out. And you have to drive and you get into a fucking car. And it takes away any sort of communal, like I don't know if you've ever been to a Red Sox game?

• 53:52Speaker 07

  No, I've never I've I've been a base I I've I've been a baseball fan for about a month.

• 53:57Andrew Santino?

  Okay, oh, that's because of the Jays?

• 53:58Speaker 07

  Yeah, cuz I started watching the Jays in World Series and I was like, this is great.

• 54:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:02Speaker 07

  And, uh.

• 54:03Andrew Santino?

  It's the best, dude.

• 54:03Speaker 07

  All the, yeah, so I I'm I am gonna I'm gonna watch baseball this year.

• 54:07Andrew Santino?

  It's baseball, but the like, one of the best feelings you can have is like walking in the neighborhood. Stopping off at a bar or something to meet up with people and then going into that game. And then after the game, same thing. And it's it's it's it is so specific to baseball because football stadiums are usually kind of out and about.

• 54:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 54:23Andrew Santino?

  And basketball stadiums are usually kind of inconvenient in a lot of cities, too, that you don't really wanna go out there afterwards. But like, Chicago, Wrigleyville, Boston. It's just there's something about going in the neighborhood and like being like, house, house, house, baseball stadium.

• 54:38Speaker 07

  Oh, that's amazing, yeah.

• 54:39Andrew Santino?

  It's a cool feeling.

• 54:41Speaker 07

  Well, you wanna go, when I go to a show, if I go to a Dead show or whatever, you're like, I wanna get food. Like, you wanna do the thing and then have a either a drink or something to eat. But see, so I don't really drink that much, but if we if I went to a baseball game with someone that was into it and was having a beer, I was like.

• 54:57Andrew Santino?

  With me, you would, we'd get hammered, yeah. I'd make sure you get hammered.

• 55:00Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 55:00Andrew Santino?

  Cuz it's fun to do, man.

• 55:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:02Andrew Santino?

  It's it's one of the best feelings.

• 55:04Speaker 07

  I just stop because, yeah.

• 55:06Andrew Santino?

  It's toxic.

• 55:07Speaker 07

  It's, yeah, and my, so I started not drinking on the road and then that is a, I feel like that's key. The few times that I have a drink on the road, if you're before you start a show and you're a little bit hungover, you're like, what the fuck am I doing?

• 55:21Andrew Santino?

  I hate that, yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 07

  What am I doing?

• 55:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that that does suck. But there's places where I go on the road where I'm gonna run into people and I'm like, I'm gonna see those guys, I'm gonna have to go say hi.

• 55:30Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:31Andrew Santino?

  It's hard.

• 55:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:32Andrew Santino?

  But the but at home. I don't really drink at home. I'm a social, I'm a little social girl. So if I'm out and about, I'll have a couple.

• 55:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:40Andrew Santino?

  But at home, like, we have a liquor cabinet at home slammed full for guests, but we, I don't think my wife and I, we almost never have a drink at home. Just not interested at it. I like, I wanna go out, I wanna make it like a thing.

• 55:52Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:53Andrew Santino?

  Let's go out and have a, let's go to the thing.

• 55:55Speaker 07

  My thing is I love the taste, too. Like, if I have a Negroni, I'm like Seamus when it comes to that. If I have a Negroni, I'm just like, like.

• 56:04Andrew Santino?

  That's more like Flanagan.

• 56:05Speaker 07

  Audible, audible, audible, like groans and moans. I'm so delighted, yeah.

• 56:10Andrew Santino?

  No beer, though, not a beer guy.

• 56:12Speaker 07

  No, I love beer, yeah, I'll have a beer.

• 56:13Andrew Santino?

  A little Molson, Canadians own.

• 56:16Speaker 07

  Yeah, I would probably go something a little more pretentious than Molson, you know?

• 56:20Andrew Santino?

  Don't say that to the Molson, the fine people at Molson, although it's, I think it's an American-owned company now.

• 56:25Speaker 07

  Is it really?

• 56:25Andrew Santino?

  Didn't Americans buy Molson? I feel like they sold to, uh, probably Inbev or one of these major conglomerates. Again, we're going back to the same.

• 56:33Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 56:33Andrew Santino?

  Everyone is owned by three people. Even you, you're owned by BlackRock. I looked you up before you came, yeah.

• 56:38Speaker 08

  Yeah, Coors bought it.

• 56:39Andrew Santino?

  Coors bought it, yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 07

  Oh, my goodness.

• 56:40Andrew Santino?

  Coors, the fine people at Coors.

• 56:42Speaker 07

  Wow.

• 56:43Speaker 08

  Also, earlier, uh, when I was talking, when you're talking about Jim Ursay.

• 56:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Stat Boy, do some, uh, do some updates.

• 56:49Speaker 08

  So he's, he died in this year.

• 56:51Speaker 07

  Yeah, he did pass.

• 56:52Andrew Santino?

  So Jim Ursay was the guy we're thinking of.

• 56:54Speaker 08

  Yeah, but then it went to his daughter, who I said.

• 56:56Andrew Santino?

  But I was right, Jim Ursay was the guy.

• 56:58Speaker 08

  I said Carlisle, but it's Carley.

• 57:00Speaker 07

  I said Taft.

• 57:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Taft.

• 57:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, was that his name?

• 57:05Speaker 08

  William Taft?

• 57:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 57:06Andrew Santino?

  Great president.

• 57:07Speaker 08

  Who is in the bath?

• 57:09Andrew Santino?

  Tub Man.

• 57:09Speaker 07

  Oh, was that, okay.

• 57:10Andrew Santino?

  That's Tubward Taft, yeah. And by the way, Taft Tubbs, click on the link in the description down below for the Tough Tabs. I do a plug for a fake thing about. Tubbs by Taft. Um, okay, listen, I appreciate you wholeheartedly. Love these shoes, by the way. I just saw this, but these are, these are very comfy, these are very dead forward.

• 57:26Speaker 07

  Okay, 'cause these are dead forward.

• 57:28Andrew Santino?

  They look like festival shoes. They look like you can wear them out to dinner, to a festival. Also, these are around the house kicks.

• 57:35Speaker 07

  Uh, yeah, I wear them on stage.

• 57:37Andrew Santino?

  You can get away with murder with these things. Don't kill, please.

• 57:41Speaker 07

  I won't.

• 57:41Andrew Santino?

  Please don't. Uh, people at home, people of the world, lovely humans of Whiskey Ginger fans, um, do me a favor, please go, uh, grab this book. Go grab Spellbound right now by Mr. Phil Hanley. He's also on tour, uh, I'm assuming. It's PhilHanley.com?

• 57:58Speaker 07

  Yeah, PhilHanley.com.

• 58:00Andrew Santino?

  Got him.

• 58:00Speaker 07

  God damn, you're good at that.

• 58:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I've been doing this for a couple of years. Uh, go see him on tour. He's touring all the way until May. And then in May, he is, of course, uh, going back to his butterfly farm that he owns in northern Canada.

• 58:11Speaker 07

  Own and operate.

• 58:12Andrew Santino?

  And we'll disclose the location about that. Yeah, 17,000 butterflies he breeds every single year, one by one, names them, which is actually pretty remarkable.

• 58:18Speaker 07

  Yeah, and I got a couple interesting names for butterflies just today, so thank you.

• 58:22Andrew Santino?

  So thank you, dude, but cone, cone-y-bony. Uh, we end the show the same way. Um, also, oh yeah, we'll put the link in the description down below for the book to go buy the book.

• 58:32Speaker 07

  Oh, thank you.

• 58:33Andrew Santino?

  Go buy the book and go see him on tour. We end the show the same way. Look into that camera right there. You're single, if you will. Uh, one word or one phrase to end the episode. One word or a phrase. Could be a phrase of words of wisdom, could be just a single word that really stands out to you in your mind.

• 58:47Speaker 07

  Whoa, really? I didn't know that.

• 58:48Andrew Santino?

  Shoot for the moon, baby.

• 58:49Speaker 07

  I've listened to these episodes.

• 58:50Andrew Santino?

  Don't think about it.

• 58:51Speaker 07

  I've never.

• 58:51Andrew Santino?

  Just from your gut.

• 58:53Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 58:53Andrew Santino?

  One word or one phrase, whenever you're ready.

• 58:56Speaker 07

  Come together.

• 58:57Speaker 04

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 59:02Speaker 05

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard! Sturdy, ginger. Like feathers, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a huge a. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse.

• 59:14Speaker 06

  Ginger's, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 59:24Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir, gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. 'Tis your season to mix it up.

• 59:38Speaker 09

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola, for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:00:09Speaker 10

  With Truvia Sweeteners, it's simple to make sweetness part of your routine. From sweetening your creamy morning matcha to freshly baked blueberry scones, Truvia Sweeteners make it easy to enjoy the flavors you love with less sugar per serving. From everyday drinks to homemade favorites, they're made to fit right in. Because with Truvia, every moment tastes better. Find Truvia at your favorite local grocery retailer and bring better sweetness home.