How To Tune Into Your Own Intuition To Make Decisions Out Of Equanimity

Do you find it difficult to make decisions without hearing the noise of people's expectations, obligations, and opinions? I want you to make room for your intuition, your intention, and what your soul is really yearning for. When you live with your intuition, life actually becomes simpler because it's clearer how you want to invest it and why. Let the voice of your intuition be the loudest voice you hear. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. Confidence isn't something Mazda finds, it's something they practice. That's the thinking behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features designed to help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with the road ahead. It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand

• 1:27Jay Shetty?

  and has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick+ Awards than any other car brand as of July 2026. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells... Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you.

• 2:12Jay Shetty?

  And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. Hey everyone, welcome to On Purpose. My name's Jay Shetty. Thank you for coming back for this Friday episode. This solo episode where I get to dive into a theme that I'm really fascinated by, that I really care about.

• 2:54Jay Shetty?

  But this week, I wanted to give you a little surprise. I wanted to do something a little bit different that I think you're going to love. Now, I get invited to speak at a lot of events. I get invited to do a lot of Q and As at private masterminds. And some of these conversations don't get outside of the four walls. And sometimes there's only 10 people in the room, or sometimes there's only 20 people in the room. But recently, I was invited to my friend's mastermind. His name's Chris Harder. Him and his wife, Chris and Laurie, they're amazing. If you don't follow them on Instagram, make sure you go and check them out. They were running a mastermind and they invited me to share some of my thoughts about life, about purpose, about my journey, about social media. And I thought, why not share this with each and every single one of you?

• 3:39Jay Shetty?

  So I asked them if I could. They said yes. And what you're going to get to hear now is a Q and A session with his mastermind. Remember, this was literally like just 20 people in the room. So I can't wait to share this behind the scenes with you, and I can't wait for you to hear this episode. Remember to make sure to go and share your biggest insights. Tag us for what you're learning on Instagram, on Twitter, and on Facebook, or on LinkedIn. And I can't wait for you to respond to this episode. Here we go.

• 4:12Jay Shetty?

  Who've worked hard to get to where they are and now are gatekeepers or big decision makers. They may never have been given an opportunity to live their passion. They may never had an opportunity to even get their idea through. And so now they're the gatekeepers. So I recently had this crazy experience with my podcast, to give you an example. About three months ago, I had the idea of launching a podcast, probably a bit longer about, no, sorry, I take that back. Six months ago now, six, seven months ago, I had the idea of launching a podcast. And I knew what I wanted it to be about. And I went around and met every major podcast producer and publisher in L.A. and New York. And a lot of them were excited with the numbers and all the rest of it.

• 4:53Jay Shetty?

  And we got very close to signing a really great deal, only for two weeks away from launch, for the biggest podcast producer in the space to pull out and say, "We don't think this is going to be a big podcast." So in two weeks, we had to launch anyway with whatever we had to get it off the ground. The realization I've had from that experience is it's a lot of people who've worked really hard to get to the top, and I don't judge them for it, but they've never necessarily taken risks or tried something new or really got to live their passion, and then they don't know how to see other people who are trying to do that. So I don't judge them for it. I'm not bitter for it, but that is one of the blocks. And so I think it's so powerful when I'm meeting people, whether it's at networks or TV channels,

• 5:37Jay Shetty?

  that are conscious, that are intentional, that are living to make a contribution. And those people are growing, and that's happening. And I think we're waiting for those people to rise to the top so that they can be the decision makers and change makers. So that's one of the biggest challenges I think we're facing because the audience has already shown that they want it. That's the beauty of it, that I think the people of the world are already saying they want intentional, conscious, purposeful content. That's already been decided. So now it's a matter for the decision makers to change them. And that's only going to change when we demonstrate our value and don't have to defend it. So when I was in that position, we're literally... I was two weeks away from podcast launch day. We thought we had this deal all wrapped up. And then it totally crumbled two weeks away.

• 6:22Jay Shetty?

  And I was just like, okay, well, what do we do now? And my team was like, Jay, we don't know if we're gonna be able to launch. And I was like, no, we have to launch. We committed to this. We have to make it happen. And so we launched and we now have the number one health podcast in the world. Uh, we've been number five in all categories multiple times. And the podcast is always in the non, uh, in the top 50 podcasts in all categories. So, you know, the point and the reason is it's not just about the result. We could have not made it to any of those stats. The point is, it's been a really purposeful process for me of building the podcast.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  I love that. Love it. Couple more questions before I turn it over. Uh, you brought up judgment. You said, I don't judge them. But when you're on a mission and somebody doesn't align with your values, because we all have different upbringings and paradigms and everything. How do you stop yourself from falling into judgment? And, and for years, I suffered, uh, as a judger, right? Really bad, crippling judgment. And it wasn't until that experience in Costa Rica where I had it flipped on its head and, you know, you never release anything, but release judgment and was able to catch it and reframe it and, and live a very different life. So how do you work through judgment?

• 7:31Jay Shetty?

  So I think this goes back to the monk training. We were lit, uh, one of the biggest mantras we were trained in as monks was don't judge the moment. And we would literally repeat that to ourselves time and time and time and time again. And you'll be shocked to understand if you keep repeating that to yourself, that thing annoys the hell out of you because it stops you from judging. But literally, the first thing that comes to my mind when something doesn't go the way I planned for it to go is don't judge the moment. And it's a simple mantra. It's been life-changing for me. Because so many times, we're so quick to label a situation. Like we label a situation as good or bad instantly. If we get some good news, we immediately think, this is amazing. And then that same amazing news in a few months could end up being the worst thing that happened to you.

• 8:17Jay Shetty?

  Or, and think about it in your life, right? How many times does that happen in your life? Yeah, anyone ever had that experience? Or it's the other way around. Where you label a situation as bad and a few months later, that's the best thing that happened to you. So when I heard the news that I was working with this amazing brand, I was excited. And then if I was, where I was like, even in good times, my mantra to myself is don't judge the moment. Even in good times. Because what you're doing by labelling something as good or bad is you're not allowing it to evolve into anything meaningful. You're stopping it from becoming anything else. But if you judge the moment as good, then three months later, they don't want to do the deal, now it's all bad. Whereas actually, when you don't judge the moment, now this was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wrote them an email and said, "Thank you so much for not signing the deal." Like, "Thank you so much for telling me I had to do it on my own."

• 9:02Jay Shetty?

  Because now I'm able to do it myself and my confidence is through the roof. So, the way you develop non-judgment is recognising, and I mean this, that each failure has feedback in it. There is feedback, whether you like it or not. If you're getting rejected, if that door's being shut on your face, there's a message there for you. And that message is, "Try harder, change this, work on this, look at this, look at it from a different angle, do it on your own." And if you take that, see, you have two choices always, you either become bitter or you become better. Right? With any piece of failure or feedback, you become bitter or better. When you become bitter, we all know what that feels like. Nothing good ever comes out of bitterness. Or even if it does, it doesn't feel good. Right? Whenever we talk about, even if you've got the most amazing body because you were trying to take revenge on someone.

• 9:48Jay Shetty?

  Right? And then they don't think your body's all that. And then you get bitter inside and that bitterness just brews. Or you get better. And I think that's been my approach, that I've been through so many experiences in life where it looked like everything was going wrong. But as long as I didn't judge that, I allowed it, I gave it the space and the time and the opportunity for it to evolve into something amazing. And so, the advice that says, "Don't judge the moment." Recognise that every delay has a blessing. Recognise that every pushback has something for you to learn or grow. And if you keep going, you probably will end up with something better.

• 10:31Jay Shetty?

  And I think you have to go back to your past experiences and note down when that happened to give you confidence when it happens again. But I've been able to track back and be like, that's the karma of my life. The karma of my life is I always get the big people saying no, always. And then I figure out another way to get there. And that's just the karma of my life. Your karma may be different. Your karma may be the big person always says yes, and that's awesome. But we all have a karma and a philosophy code that's underplaying our life. And it's up to you to look back on your past experiences, spot the patterns, and see what your karma is trying to teach you at every different space. Right, so use that as a way of thinking about it. I hope that answers your question. Yeah, oh my god, so good.

• 11:15Jay Shetty?

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• 11:58Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

• 12:41Jay Shetty?

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• 13:26Jay Shetty?

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• 13:49Speaker 01

  Two more and then I'll turn it over.

• 13:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  And then we get to the top of the bit. We were talking out there, the way that you keep up this extraordinary relationship with your wife, obviously is something that's wildly important to the two of us. We share that ethos. And there were great tips. So I was wondering if you could share a little bit, because we have so many entrepreneurs in here that either work with their significant other or they're both working on big projects in separate lanes. What are some of your best practices to have that outstanding relationship with your wife while accomplishing all this?

• 14:20Jay Shetty?

  Awesome, thank you. And yeah, I love watching you guys together. When I see you guys out on your workout trips or your runs or whatever it is, I love it. It makes me so happy. And I think we are at that space in culture again where we're celebrating couples. I think for a while it wasn't there. Like, I feel like we're not just celebrating, but we're talking about it. And I think that's a really important question. So I've been with my wife for six years now. We've been married for three years. And we got married in 2016. Now, I just want to take you back to 2016 to give you context of how it wasn't always like this. So in 2016, I changed job three times. We got married, we moved to New York, we bought a house in London, put it on rent, came to New York and started renting. And don't have any family or friends in New York and never lived in New York.

• 15:06Jay Shetty?

  So we did all of that in one year. And I've heard the advice of, you know, the toughest things to do in life are moving country, moving home, moving job, and we did all of them in the same year. And we did it together. And it was probably one of the hardest years of our life. It was hard for many reasons. One was, my wife told me to promise her that we would never live further than one mile radius away from her mum's home in England. And I accepted that when we were dating because I actually loved the area her parents live in and I thought it was a great space because my friends live close by. This is a place called Watford in England. It's like northwest London. It's a beautiful part of the country.

• 15:51Jay Shetty?

  And so I said, and we bought a house one mile radius away from her parents' house. So I was sticking to the promise. And then I got this incredible offer from Ariana Huffington to move to New York and I couldn't say no to it. And my wife didn't talk to me for two days when I got the offer. And when I got the offer and we shared it with her family, there were more tears of sadness than any congratulation. And that's not because her parents don't love me, they're amazing people, but they were losing their baby and, you know, she's very close to her family. So I was taking her away from something that was really important to her. She didn't love the vibe of New York. It was too noisy, too polluted, too hectic, too hustle bustle and all the rest of it. And on top of that, I was out trying to build this new part of my career. So we weren't necessarily spending a lot of time together.

• 16:36Jay Shetty?

  And she didn't have any friends or family in New York to spend time with either. And so that lasted and all I was trying to do was set up dates for her with other girls and other people that I knew in New York. Like literally my job, like I had my job and then my second job was how do I find friends for my wife? And so I would try and set her dates and then she was like, stop trying to set me on dates with other women or men.

• 17:01Jay Shetty?

  And so I quit doing that. And very early, I realized that I was only really going to succeed or be happy if we were both winning together. And I think it really hit me early on that I could have this incredible career and things could go really, really well. But if she wasn't happy, then who was I sharing it with? And it wasn't that she wasn't happy for me, she was totally happy for my success. But I wanted her to be happy based on her success and her growth. And I think that's when I realized that only when two complete, whole people come together, does a relationship work. And it's both of our responsibility to help each other be whole. And she was doing her part for me. She let us move to New York.

• 17:42Jay Shetty?

  She was allowing me to give myself and my energy to what I believed in, and I had to start doing the same. So, one of the biggest things that happened in our relationship is we started committing to spending three days together every thirty days, where it was just us, no phones, no friends, no family. So now every thirty days, we take three days. We run away to somewhere two hours away from LA, from our home in Hollywood. And we just go away. We go to a spa, we go eat good food, we go spend evenings together, chill and do normal stuff. And that three days of switching off your phone, locking them in the safe in the hotel, and not looking at them from the morning to night, is just incredible. I made it a big commitment throughout this whole journey to always have breakfast with her

• 18:25Jay Shetty?

  and dinner with her five days out of seven days a week. And you may say, well, that may have affected networking or whatever. I just know that if someone really wants to meet me, they'll figure out another time. And if I have to go, then she understands and I'll be able to. But I've really tried to keep that breakfast and dinner time as a time that we can spend together. Because I think meals are just so powerful to bond over. There's such a beautiful exchange to have. How many people like eating alone? Right? Like, I don't know anyone who actually enjoys eating alone. And when you eat alone, you don't even eat properly. Right? You're just like, yeah, you're like, right? And you're like browsing through something else, whatever it is. So not only do you wreck your digestion, right? You're wrecking your relationship at the same time. So for me, those are a few quick things that I can share and we can dive into that more if it's of interest, that's all.

• 19:14Jay Shetty?

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• 20:17Speaker 03

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• 20:51Speaker 05

  I have so many questions, but I'm gonna go with this one. Uh, because it seems like there's so many transitions in your life, from growing up in London with an Indian family, to going to school, to being a mom. What was the... Oh, it says two parts. What was the hardest thing about those transitions?

• 21:15Speaker 05

  Going from one side to the other, maybe back to the other side now in business and entrepreneurship. And then what was one of the most significantly awesome things on the flip side? When you realize like everything led to that?

• 21:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, awesome. Great question, thank you. I think we've all experienced this in any transition. If you're doing something risky or you're doing something that no one else does, like I don't know anyone growing up who decided to become a monk. Right, no one else apart from me and the people I lived with. And when I decided to do that, my extended family thought I was crazy or brainwashed. And they were just like to my parents, they were like, you've lost your son, like he's gone, like he's never coming back. My friends thought I was absolutely crazy. I remember so many of my friends stopped talking to me because they felt that they had nothing in common with me now, just because I decided to become a monk. I was getting all of these questions to figure out why I was doing it. So no one really agreed with me.

• 22:15Jay Shetty?

  It was against the grain and people were like, Jay, you realize you're never going to get a job again. Like you're never going to be able to make money ever again in your life. Like who wants to hire a monk? Right, if your resume says monk, who's going to give you a job? Right, literally, those are the kind of things that I was hearing. And so the tough thing about that transition was I was twenty-two years old. All my friends were going off to start incredible careers at incredible companies or travel the world or start a new business. And I was doing something that externally had zero value in the world. Right, becoming a monk has zero value in the modern world, genuinely, it counts for nothing. And when all my friends were doing things that were seen as valuable,

• 22:59Jay Shetty?

  whether it was going to work for Google or going to work for Morgan Stanley or whatever it was, I was deciding to go the other way. So the toughest thing about that transition was I had to really have faith in what I was doing and I had to really believe in it. And I had to really convince myself that what I was doing was worth it. And I remember that took me four years to do. So from the moment I met the monk at eighteen, to the moment I actually became a monk at twenty-two, those four years were convincing my mind that I was doing something worthwhile and meaningful. And it took four years. So when I did it at twenty-two, it was easy. And when I actually left to go to India, that was easy. Because I'd spent four years experimenting, testing, learning, and seeing what the lifestyle was like.

• 23:43Jay Shetty?

  See, if you just wanna go off and become a monk without doing the training, you won't. And similarly, masterminds like this, it's like you're getting to do the learning, the testing together, the experimenting, you're getting to learn from people who've done it before. If I hadn't spent those four years living at the monastery in India, I wouldn't have known if I could do it. So that was that transition. The most fulfilling transition and the hardest one was actually leaving the monastery and coming back. That was the hardest because I had to put into practice everything I learned. So it was almost like that was the education and this was the exam. And I genuinely feel that my conviction for what I learned as a monk has grown massively because I got to take part in the exam.

• 24:25Jay Shetty?

  And so when you're getting tested, when you have exams facing you, that's the best time to put into practice everything you've learned. And I genuinely feel if I didn't leave being a monk, I wouldn't be as convinced I am about what I learned. Because practicing it away from the world, in one sense, is simpler than coming back to the world and having to bring it with me. And having to reintegrate into the world, having to rewire my beliefs around money, work, business, life, all of that. And so for me, that was the toughest and hardest, but also the most fulfilling, that I've actually seen every principle I learned, living as a monk, has held true. Because I've tested every single one of them since I came back.

• 25:09Jay Shetty?

  And I owe all, anything that I've achieved, all my success to all my monk training. Like, that's what it all goes back to. None of it is me, or who I was, or any of that. It comes back to those three years that I got to spend in deep meditation, deep prayer, intention-seeking, intention-refining, and, and becoming rather than doing and having. Right? That's where it started for me.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Amazing. Good question, Joel.

• 25:32Jay Shetty?

  Thanks, bro, yeah. Thank you, mate. Great question.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Next question. Sandy?

• 25:37Jay Shetty?

  Hey Sandy.

• 25:38Speaker 06

  Hi Jay.

• 25:39Jay Shetty?

  Hey.

• 25:40Speaker 06

  My name is Sandy, I'm from New York and I am grateful to each and every one of you and just your presence allowing me to be vulnerable and share my truth earlier today. So, my question for you is, I feel like as an entrepreneur, we're so invested in the doing this that definitely came up a lot in the room today. And we have so many decisions to make on a daily basis. And I feel like the number one most powerful resource that we all have is our intuition. So, can you tell me a little bit more about how you tap into your own intuition to make decisions in your business that lead to your highest goal?

• 26:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. What a great question and I completely agree with you. So, I love intuition. How many of you believe that you've been listening to your intuition since you were young? Awesome. How many of you started to feel like you only started listening to intuition in the last 3 to 5 years? How many of you don't put up your hand no matter what I say?

• 26:38Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. Thank you for being honest, I appreciate that. But, the reason why I ask is, I genuinely believe the quicker you start listening to intuition, the stronger it gets. And so, for those of you who have listened to intuition since you were young, hopefully that voice is really loud in your head, or your heart, or wherever you believe your intuition is. For me, that voice is so strong because I started following it when I was 14 years old. And I started hearing it and listening to it and not compromising on it and fighting for it at all times. My intuition told me to become a monk, my intuition told me to leave being a monk, my intuition told me to try and work in media in the space I'm in now. And even now, I have to constantly remind myself to not get carried away with stakeholders,

• 27:22Jay Shetty?

  managers, agents, advisors, mentors, and also go back in. So, how do you do that? One of my favorite ways to do that is anytime I have options or decisions in my life, I write them all out and above them, I write the intention for why I would do it. So, let's say I've got 3 different business partners to work with. Or let's say I've got 3 different business investments I could make. I write down why I would do that. Often when I really ask myself, "Why would I do something?", it's because of ego or pride. It's gonna make me feel great for my ego, right? It's gonna make me feel really powerful. If I'm an investor in that, that's gonna make me look so cool. If I partner with that person, it makes me look better. And then I see that and I'm like, okay, I I observed that.

• 28:07Jay Shetty?

  And then I asked myself, okay, why am I doing this one? And then the answer might be money. Just gonna cash out, like, you know. It's gonna make a lot of money, it's it's gonna, you know, put a ton of money in my back pocket, it's gonna make me feel great from that perspective. And I'll keep going until I find the option that has the word love on top of it. When I can truly say that I'm making a decision primarily based on love, of course, I need it to pay the bills and I need it to feel good. But when I can truly say that that is primarily based on love and it's primarily based on my purpose, then I know that that's been guided by my intuition. And of course, I attain that through my meditation every day, I meditate for two hours every morning.

• 28:48Jay Shetty?

  And as part of that meditation, when I'm getting into that stillness, what I'm trying to do is clear the clutter of the noise of people's expectations, obligations and opinions and make room for my voice of my intuition, my intention and what my soul's really yearning for. But that practical exercise of actually putting these things above them makes it really like visual for me and I'm a visual person, I love seeing things. And of course, there've been times in my life where I've had to do the thing that just had money on top of it, but at least I did it intentionally. I wasn't just doing it thinking this is my purpose. I was really honest, okay, I really need to pay the bills right now. I'm doing this, it pays the bills, I've gotta do it. That was where I was at. But then I'm always trying to upgrade from that.

• 29:31Jay Shetty?

  And I don't wanna, I wanna stop going to the ego level, just wanna stop playing at that level. Because the ego level just lets you down every time and never quite becomes amazing. So so many times I've had to say no in my life because intuitively it didn't feel like love. Because remember, if you don't follow your intuition, you'll say yes to everything that sounds good too. So you end up overworking, overcommitting and overcompensating, but when you live with your intuition, life actually becomes simpler because it's clearer who you wanna invest it in, why. And sometimes that thing may become, I mean, I know that a few actors talk about this when they gave up big roles in movies. When people didn't realize The Matrix was gonna be a big thing. They turned down the role and then Keanu Reeves obviously played it and he was amazing.

• 30:16Jay Shetty?

  But a lot of actors have said, "Keanu played it better than I would have." So even if that went on to become the most successful thing in the world, if you have that honest reflection, you recognize that was someone else's opportunity. I've got mine. And that's what your intuition does, it drives you to yours. Without thinking you need someone else's. So hopefully that answers your question. That's so beautiful, thank you. Thank you, thanks so much. Who's next? Thank you.

• 30:43Speaker 07

  Hey Jay.

• 30:44Jay Shetty?

  Hey.

• 30:44Speaker 07

  My name's Scott from Philadelphia.

• 30:46Jay Shetty?

  Hey Scott.

• 30:47Speaker 07

  So much I wanna say.

• 30:48Jay Shetty?

  Awesome.

• 30:49Speaker 07

  So first, I'm just grateful for, obviously, this mastermind and Chris for putting this together. And, you know, just thankful for you Jay, for everything that you do. Seriously, I've been following you for a couple of years now and this is kind of one of those real moments having conversations with someone who's been watching. Um, so two things, number one, in something that you spoke about before, it was a podcast or an interview, you talked about the science of the physiological state of gaining gratitude. And how it's impossible to feel any other emotion when you're feeling gratitude, and practicing in the morning and at night. So one, speak on how gratitude has really helped you. And number two, so much has changed for you in the last thirty-six months.

• 31:35Speaker 07

  You know, when you put yourself out there. What has been the biggest lesson that you've learned in stepping into this new role that you're in? Because, you know, behind closed doors, all the things you were doing, but being in the, in the limelight quote-unquote, being very visible for so many people, what's the biggest lesson you've learned from all this?

• 31:53Jay Shetty?

  Sure man, and thank you so much for sharing that, I really appreciate it. Uh, gratitude, yeah, I mean, we hear about it all the time, it was a huge monk practice that we focused on. And when I talk about gratitude in that sense, it's not just making a list of three things you're grateful for. The way we were trained in it was you have to embody the feeling of gratitude. The best way to do that is when you visualize and take yourself back to a moment you experienced something that you're deeply grateful for. So you literally wanna transport yourself back to that moment. You wanna feel what it sounded like, what you could smell, what you could see. You wanna immerse yourself in that experience where you felt extremely grateful, whatever

• 32:37Jay Shetty?

  it was, whether it was an embrace from the person you love, whether it was being able to see what you had based on the perspective of serving other people, whatever it was, any experience that made you feel really grateful. When you embody that experience, when you re- embody that experience, you can't then be in stress, pain, pressure, ego, or any other state. Because gratitude is such a powerful emotion that it completely drenches you and soaks you in that emotion and in that feeling. So when you are trying to be grateful, don't just go for the, "I'm grateful for the air, I'm grateful for the sunny weather, I'm grateful." Don't just do that, really embody that experience.

• 33:21Jay Shetty?

  Gratitude for what you wouldn't expect yourself to be grateful for. Because somehow that brought you here. Like somehow, whatever it was that wasn't nice, that was painful, it got you here. And when you can be grateful about that, you're rewiring your mind to start being grateful for every situation, because it was a part of your story. Right? It was a part of your story that made your story better. Your story would be boring if you just succeeded all the time. Imagine sitting up on a stage and being like, "Yeah, so I went on from this success to this success, to this success." It was the most boring story in the world, no one would care or relate to it. Uh, in terms of the second part of your question, right? Like never get carried away with all the new opportunities and the new things that come up and forget why you started.

• 34:06Jay Shetty?

  Because why you started was why everything happened in the first place. And I think the further away you get from the reason you started... The harder and harder and harder it becomes. Because you start measuring it on new metrics. See, when I started, I thought I was gonna be someone who worked a full-time job and made videos in my evenings and weekends to hopefully help a few people. That's the scope of my vision when I started. But the goal was always to help a few people. The goal wasn't to have a brand or a business or any of that. And so when my goal is still now to help people, and I'm still reminding myself, that's ultimately the whole point of all of this. Because when I die, that's the only thing I'm gonna measure myself against. I don't think when I die, I'm gonna be able to say, "I'm so glad I partnered with that brand." Like, I'm not gonna say that, right?

• 34:51Jay Shetty?

  Like, when I die, I'm not gonna be sitting there going, "Oh, I'm so glad that I had a really nice apartment and car." Like, I'm not gonna think that. Of course, I like having a nice apartment and a nice car. I'm not saying don't have one. I'm just saying that's not gonna be the metric that I'm gonna measure myself by when I'm dying. When I'm dying, I'm gonna be measuring myself by, "How did I impact people? How did I affect people? What did people get from me? And how did I serve, right? How did I give everything I was given?" And so for me, it's reminding myself never to go far away from that. There've been so many times where I've been so close to just forgetting that, and then thankfully, like, my memories come back in and it's reeled me back. And so I wanna be around more people who remind me of that.

• 35:34Jay Shetty?

  And I want to be around people who remind me of the importance of that and keep taking me back to that. And the other thing that I've learned is, don't measure yourself just based on the room you're in. So what I mean by that is, if you're always measuring yourself based on everyone you're around, you're gonna think you're not good at anything. So if you're in a room full of investors, you're gonna be like, "Oh crap, I need to invest more." If you're in a room full of monks, you're gonna be like, "I need to meditate more." That's probably gonna help them. If you're in a room full of CEOs, you're gonna be like, "Oh my god, I need to start a company." And so many of us sit in so many different rooms now where the pressure isn't internal, it's external. If you're finding an internal drive that makes you wanna be something, that's amazing.

• 36:20Jay Shetty?

  But if all of your drive and pressure is external because of just who you're around, it can negatively take you away from your gift. And that's what I've realised, that you've got to stick to your gift. You've got a gift, play to that gift, play to that strength, give that gift away. Don't start thinking you need all these other gifts. You may evolve into them, you may dabble in them, but remember that you have a gift that people are looking for. And that gift is the one that if you keep nurturing that and nourishing that and giving that away, you're always gonna have a place. You're always gonna have a reason to be alive, you're always gonna have a purpose. And so, yeah, focus on your gifts and grow those gifts. Because they're there for a reason. So hopefully that covers what you wanted. Thank you, man. Thanks, Scott.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Hi, my name's Jonathan.

• 37:06Jay Shetty?

  Hey, Jonathan.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  I'm here in LA. Appreciate the time, thank you for your time, I appreciate you being here. So my question kind of goes back to your marriage, you and your wife. So my wife and I have been together 17 years, married 8 years. You kind of have always moved along the same path, but over the past 5 years or so, my career or whatever has really taken off and she hasn't. So there's kind of been a struggle of, she's happy for me, but she's not satisfied with what she's going to become. You and your wife, do you know that in what advice you can give?

• 37:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. Well, you've got a lot more relationship experience than I do. So I'll come and ask you some questions afterwards. But I think this is the beauty of relationships that last, right? Like, no one's ever going to accelerate at the same pace. We don't accelerate at the same pace as our parents, we don't accelerate at the same pace as our family, we don't accelerate at the same pace as our friends, we don't accelerate at the same pace as our partners. And that's normal, like, that's just life. So the fact that we experienced that in the first place is recognising that that's natural. And the second step is you trying to facilitate the journey for her, but at her own pace.

• 38:25Jay Shetty?

  And that journey's not going to look at the same as yours. It's not even gonna look marginally like yours, maybe. But if you can support and be there for her while she figures it out, you don't have to figure it out for her. And I think that's one of the biggest mistakes that we make in relationships, where we try to figure everything out for the other person. Like, I was setting my wife up on dates. But it's like, I can't figure it out for her, but I have to be there for her while she figures it out. Right? You can't figure it out for her, but you have to be there for her while she figures it out. And when she sees that and you facilitate that growth and you help her with that, you're gonna naturally see she's gonna get there in her own time. But if you start putting your deadlines on her life, that's not gonna work.

• 39:08Jay Shetty?

  If you start putting your timelines on her life, that's not gonna work. And I don't think you've come across as a really nice, patient, wonderful human being from the two seconds that I've been with you. But the point I'm making is that you sound like someone who, you sound like you love her. And I think that's how you display love in this moment. The way you display love in this moment is patience. The way you display love in this moment is facilitating. The way you display love in this moment is being there for her through that transition. And I think it is important that you think about who you can introduce her to, which communities can she become a part of to help her think that way. But always help her recognize that you wanna amplify who she is and it's not about her becoming who you are.

• 39:53Jay Shetty?

  So, I'll give you an example. My wife is the most genuine, authentic person I've ever met. She's so genuine, she's so authentic, she's so loving. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body, like she's literally one of the sweetest people I know. She will never gossip about people, she doesn't have anything negative to say about people. And whenever people meet her, they're like, "Oh my god, how have you not launched her brand? How have you not turned her into a YouTuber?" And I'm like, first of all, that's not why I married my wife. Second of all, she doesn't want that at this stage in her life. She's happy sharing her talents with our family, friends, and people we love. The day she's ready to share them with the world, of course I'll help her.

• 40:37Jay Shetty?

  But I'm not gonna force her to become someone she doesn't wanna be. And so maybe your wife's fulfillment isn't even career. It could be something totally different. And I think we as facilitators, as observers, whether it's your husband or your wife, it could be any situation, just have to allow that person to grow. It's like letting a plant or a flower grow at their own pace. And you wanna water it and nurture it and give it the sun, but you can't expedite it or decide where it's going. So it may not be career. Be open to it, introduce it to a number of people, get her to start talking to different communities, because you'll see... And then it's your job to observe what excites her, like what really like brought her to life. And when you see that, then you can help that further. So that would be my advice.

• 41:22Jay Shetty?

  You can't figure it out for her, you have to be there for her while she figures it out. Yeah, thank you, man.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Uh, hey Jake, uh, we met in, uh, at Lewis' house.

• 41:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I remember.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was awesome. Great to see you, man.

• 41:40Jay Shetty?

  Good to see you.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm grateful for everybody in this room. The, uh... I don't wanna...

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Did you guys buy it? I don't wanna forget my question. Do you ever battle with presence? Because you have a lot of things going on, right? But you seem so present. I've read like The Power Now like 12 times. It doesn't take. How do you... How do you remain so present? Do you have any tips, tricks, or strategies to help with that?

• 42:17Jay Shetty?

  The challenge we have is that we think there are some times we want to be present and there are times we don't want to be present. You only have one choice. You're either present or not. So we say things like, "I've got this event tonight. I'm gonna be present at that event, but right now, I'm with my wife or I'm with my family or whatever, and I'm not gonna be present right now." Guess what happens? That mindset bleeds into everything else. If you're not where you are right now, you'll never be where you want to be later. It's just not possible. And so for me, one of the biggest tips and tricks is, no matter if you're in a space that you don't like being in, you're not enjoying in, still be there. Don't try to mentally escape, because that mental escape bleeds into every other area of your life.

• 43:02Jay Shetty?

  So even if I'm in a place where I know I've got a million things to do tomorrow, I'm pushing myself to be present now because that will mean I'll be present tomorrow. So even if I've got the biggest pitch meeting in the world tomorrow, I can be sitting here right now answering a question, thinking about that. I don't have a pitch meeting, by the way. But even if I did, I know that if I'm fully present now, I'll be fully present then.

• 43:24Speaker 01

  So it's almost like you're training yourself.

• 43:27Jay Shetty?

  Training yourself. You're training yourself when you don't want to be present. What we're trying to do is train ourselves when we want to be present. So we're waiting for a moment, we're like, I really want to be present in this, how do I become present? Become present when you don't want to be present. And then it will naturally bleed over. Does that help?

• 43:40Speaker 01

  It's awesome. Thank you.

• 43:44Speaker 08

  Hi, Tim.

• 43:44Jay Shetty?

  Hey, man.

• 43:45Speaker 08

  I'm Josh.

• 43:46Jay Shetty?

  Hey, Josh.

• 43:48Speaker 08

  I'm really grateful for being introduced to you. I'm probably the minority in here, and I didn't know much about you until Friday at dinner with Chris last week, where he told me that we were the only one of his favorite human beings in the world. And that's a testament to our relationship too, Chris and our relationship. And when he said that, I took it real serious, like, I gotta meet this guy. And it didn't take more than 30 seconds of you talking for me to be like, I love the vibe, I love your vibe.

• 44:16Jay Shetty?

  Thank you.

• 44:18Speaker 08

  So that's amazing, the monk training, and you did it for three years? So I imagine you learned a lot about meditation and presence and really getting to listen, you know, just go inward. What would you recommend for people who aren't, you know, aren't probably gonna get the chance to do the monk training? For how we could, you know, what practices or maybe resources would you point us to? For us to kind of, I don't know, next best thing, right?

• 44:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, sure.

• 44:51Speaker 08

  To achieve that without formal monk training?

• 44:53Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 44:56Jay Shetty?

  So, the world that we live in has tried to commoditize and simplify everything, and there are advantages to that. But when you hear things like, "Just meditate for 10 minutes a day and your life's gonna change", "Just meditate for 5 minutes a day and your life's gonna change", "Just meditate for 10 minutes twice a day and everything's gonna figure itself out", the good in that is that it starts the habit. The challenge in that is that you've never had an immersive experience to be convinced of the benefits. I'll give you an example. Imagine I tell you, I want you to figure out whether you love this person, and I tell you, you can only spend 10 minutes a day with them, every day.

• 45:39Jay Shetty?

  How long is it gonna take you to figure out whether you love that person or not and wanna spend the rest of your life with them? It's gonna take a long time. It's gonna take a long time. But if you went away with someone for a day, a weekend, a week, that immersive experience is gonna help you learn so much more about them, you can make a better decision. So my advice to anyone who has the facility, has the opportunity, is take a day, take a weekend, or a week, and go on an immersive meditation experience. Why? Because it will completely win you over with the benefits, because you like to experience them. When you meditate for 10 minutes a day, all you experience is you might switch off the noise. Just maybe.

• 46:24Jay Shetty?

  When you meditate every day for a week or a weekend, you're gonna feel the experience, and when you come back to your normal life, you're gonna be like, "I know what it feels like, so I know what to get back to." The problem with meditation right now is you don't know what you want to feel or experience, because all you're feeling in 10 minutes is just, "Come on, why doesn't this work?" Right? Like, "Why isn't this working? Why am I stressed out? Oh my god, my back itches, right? Like, my eyebrow itches now. Like, now my leg hurts. Am I doing it right?" And then you're like, "Am I doing it right?" mode. When you go on a retreat and you do it for an hour, you get to work through all that, which it takes around, to me, even right now, it takes me probably, realistically, after having done, I've done 2 hours a day for the last 13 years of my life.

• 47:08Jay Shetty?

  And it takes me now... Ten minutes to zone in, right? I can zone in quicker, but if I'm honest and I've had a busy day and meetings and all the rest of it, it still takes me ten minutes to zone in. And that used to take me an hour, and that used to take me thirty minutes, and now I've been able to cut it down. Because no one can just go from this to nothing, right? Like, I've got... So, my advice to you is go have an immersive experience. Awesome, man.

• 47:34Speaker 09

  Thank you.

• 47:34Jay Shetty?

  Thank you. Thanks, Josh.

• 47:37Speaker 09

  Hi, Jay.

• 47:38Jay Shetty?

  Hey.

• 47:39Speaker 09

  I'm Bryce from Denver. I'm thankful for everyone in this room, and, uh, yeah, everyone's helped me a lot in this room. I appreciate that very much. Um, I've heard you mention putting your phone away numerous times today.

• 47:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:54Speaker 09

  And I'm curious if you can dive deeper into that and if there's benefits or anything beyond, you know, just saying put your phone away that you've experienced and what's that done for you?

• 48:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 48:10Jay Shetty?

  So, I used to be one of those people that loved watching movies late at night. So, I'd finish everything, get into bed. This is quite a few years ago. And I would sit there and I'd watch a movie, and it'd probably be something like motivational, like Rocky or something like that. And I'd get into it, and then it would finish late. It'd be 1 a.m. and then I'd go to sleep and wake up the next day. I started to practice very early on, before I became a monk, to sleep without my devices next to me. And so, at one point, what I had to do is I would lock my phone and my laptop in my car outside. Because if I didn't do that, if I left it downstairs, I'd be sitting in bed and be like, oh, it's just downstairs. I can go and get it.

• 48:51Jay Shetty?

  But, right, if I'm in bed and then my car's outside and it's cold, not here, but in London, it's cold. And then it's locked outside. You might have to lock it in your friend's house or you're leaving it at the office. But the beauty that that gave me was... One of the biggest things we do to our brain, which is such a big mistake, is we try it. How many, I mean, Chris will know about this, because I know Chris loves cars and I like Chris's cars too. Chris, what's the quickest a car can go from zero to X miles per hour? Like, give me a range.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Like, zero to sixty in two and a half seconds.

• 49:25Jay Shetty?

  Okay, zero to sixty in two and a half seconds. How many cars can do that?

• 49:29Speaker 01

  Maybe five to six of them.

• 49:31Jay Shetty?

  Okay, five to six car brands. How many car brands are there in general?

• 49:35Speaker 01

  I mean, miles and thousands.

• 49:38Jay Shetty?

  Okay, so we didn't prepare this, obviously. But Chris is, I believe Chris is a car expert to some degree from his Instagram, or I can tell. So there are, there are thousands of car models out there, five to six car models, roughly, of course, can get from zero to sixty in two and a half seconds. When you wake up and the first thing you do is look at your phone, you're trying to be those five or six cars. You're trying to get your brain and your mind to go from zero of sleep to sixty miles per hour in two and a half seconds, because you've got thirty notifications, fifty emails, sixty WhatsApp messages and whatever else you have going on.

• 50:18Jay Shetty?

  The biggest mistake we're doing is we're actually reducing our mind and brain's ability to make better decisions, to be able to be more focused, because we're wasting it all on that first two and a half seconds. How many of us can physically get out of bed and go run a marathon? None of you would choose to do that. You wouldn't choose to, in two and a half seconds, wake up and go run a marathon. You wouldn't do that. And if you did, you've trained yourself over a lot of time. And so don't do that with your mind. When you wake up in the morning, how many of you would love a hundred people to walk through your bedroom door? And greet you? You'd be like, no, I wanna get ready first, I might wanna put my makeup on, I wanna do my hair. That's the same with your mind. You haven't let your mind. Sort itself out.

• 51:02Jay Shetty?

  And you're letting a hundred people walk into your mind, the bedroom of your mind, the moment you wake up. What that's doing is that it's slowing down your focus. It's reducing your decision making ability and increasing something known as decision fatigue. If you're making lots of small insignificant decisions from the moment you wake up, like which email do I want to look at? And which cat picture have I been sent? And you're doing that at six AM, seven AM, whenever you wake up in the morning. Then you're making that decision at nine and 10 AM much harder. So for me, putting your phone away is about letting your mind, giving it the time to wake up.

• 51:41Jay Shetty?

  And so when I talk about waking up early, actually what that means is waking up one to two hours before your day actually starts. That's what waking up early truly means. Waking up early means waking up one to two hours earlier or three hours before your day starts. So my life runs like this. I wake up around six AM every day. As a monk, we used to wake up at four AM. It's crazy. I can't do it anymore. But the point is that I've used all my gaps for social media or I have my work time for being on my phone. But when I'm with people, so we made a rule in our home that we don't use our phones in, at the dining table or in the bedroom because it's more fun to eat and sleep with people. Right? Like those are no technology zones in the home.

• 52:24Jay Shetty?

  No technology times and no technology zones in your home make it practical to have barriers and boundary. So if I walk into my bedroom, my phone, my wife sees me, she'll be like, leave it outside, right? And it's great. It's like, it forces you. And when you set those barriers and boundaries together, you can hold each other to it. Which means if I want to use my phone, I can hang out in the lounge and use it till later if I need to. But I'm just not going to bring it into that space. Because that space is for something else. And this is our challenge. We do everything in the same spaces. And so that space loses what it's actually for. That's why we can't sleep in our bedrooms. Because we eat and work in them. That's why we can't eat properly in our dining tables because we work at them. The more you do it, more different places,

• 53:08Jay Shetty?

  the less you can actually achieve the goal of that space. And our phones have made that the hardest thing in the world. So I often say to people, time has memory, location has energy. When you do something at the same time every day, it becomes easier. When you do something in the same space every day, it becomes more natural. So that's why you don't want to take your phone everywhere and anywhere because it depletes your ability to achieve that space or time in what you're trying to achieve. Does that help with the no-phone thing?

• 53:38Speaker 10

  Yeah.

• 53:39Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. Thanks, man.

• 53:43Speaker 10

  How are you? Jay Jay Jay.

• 53:45Jay Shetty?

  Hey, man.

• 53:47Speaker 10

  I'm Chris from Indiana, down in California, as of a week ago.

• 53:51Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. Congratulations. I only moved here a year ago too, so I'm a newbie.

• 53:55Speaker 10

  So you kind of get it? I still don't get it.

• 53:57Jay Shetty?

  I love it. I love it. I'm not going anywhere. I love it here. It's amazing.

• 54:01Speaker 10

  Uh, grateful. I am grateful. Every time I'm around Chris, I'm more aware of what's possible. And today, I feel like I know building a business is possible coming from love, coming from wisdom, coming from generosity. And really, odd places that I feel like the rest of the world tells us, that's not where you want to build your business from.

• 54:28Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 54:29Speaker 10

  And what I, if you don't mind, what I want you to speak about is as you got started in coaching, because I'm a life and business coach for business owners. I'd love for you to talk about how you got into coaching or consulting or whatever version you want to describe it as.

• 54:44Jay Shetty?

  Yep.

• 54:45Speaker 10

  Are people, you know, more and more come to coaches and I'm looking at everybody who's in fitness or any other industry, wanting strategy, wanting marketing, wanting, how do I build a funnel? How do I get more clients? Technical side of things, about leaving from their heart.

• 55:01Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 55:01Speaker 10

  And invariably, every client I get, we spend 70, 80% of the time on love, wisdom, generosity, fulfillment, happiness, freedom. So how did you, over what, almost 10 years, I guess, move people from feeling like what you want to what you need?

• 55:19Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 55:19Speaker 10

  And building a business around that?

• 55:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you, man. And I'm so glad that we're in a environment that's encouraging the right messages and the right principles, thanks to Chris and Laurie and all of you incredible people. And this is actually rare to be a part of. I get to go to a lot of internet marketing conferences and sales conferences and funnel conferences. And I get invited to speak at all of them about social media. And I start each of those sessions, whenever I'm speaking or keynoting at these places, by saying, "I did not start using social media to build a brand or a business. So I'm going to talk about the heart of why I built what I built." And then I kind of leave strategies to the end. And I love being able to do that because I truly believe that we're setting people up for success but not happiness.

• 56:07Jay Shetty?

  And so whenever I've worked with anyone, I've always asked them, "Do you want to be successful? Or do you want to be happy? Or do you want to be both? Because they are different things. And I look at success as being all the external stuff. The awards, the money, the followers, the stuff. And I look at happiness as how I feel about myself while I go through that process. So the definition of happiness to me is how I feel about myself when I'm by myself. When I'm not around all that stuff, when I'm not around those numbers, those followers, how do I feel on an average day? Because we all know we can have a terrible day sitting in our whatever car we drive. Right? You can still have a terrible day. So for me, I always differentiate that with everyone I work with. What's your goal here? Is it happiness or success, or is it both? Most people say both, but they don't really mean it.

• 56:52Jay Shetty?

  They're saying both. They're kind of like, "Yeah, I know I'm going to feel better about myself when I have that car and have that money." And I'm like, "No, you're not." Right? Like, that's just not true. There's a reason Jim Carrey said that everyone should go out and do everything they possibly wanted because just to realize that it's not the point. Right? The fact that Jim Carrey said that says it all. And so for me, my approach to that is explaining to people, and this again comes back from, this is in the Bhagavad Gita, which is the book I studied as a monk. And it talks about the modes. And the three modes can be categorized into having, doing, and being. And this is a 5,000-year-old text that speaks about this. And it talks about how you can either be in three modes: the mode of goodness, passion, or ignorance.

• 57:37Jay Shetty?

  The mode of passion... Is you're doing so that you can have and then you think about being later. The mode of ignorance is you just wanna have and you don't really think about doing or being anything. And goodness is when you realise that when you be or become the right thing and then do things from that place, you will naturally have. So my focus is always to pull people back from the doing to the being. So if you look at the habits, why do we talk about the habits of millionaires? The habits of millionaires are not what they do, that's what they've become. It's like they are people who are being kind, who are being disciplined.

• 58:17Jay Shetty?

  You don't do disciplined, you be disciplined, right? You become disciplined, you become focused, you don't do focus. You do stuff by being focused. And when people start to realise that you've gotta go that step back into becoming and being, not only to get but hold on to stuff, and I always say that to people, do you wanna get stuff or do you wanna keep it? Cause that's gonna be a big difference in your life. And so for me, I believe as coaches, it's our role to remind people of this deeper intention and why it's important. Because I think people are just misled, it's not their fault, this is not an attack on everyone who wants money and stuff, not at all, not at all.

• 58:58Jay Shetty?

  Right? That's not what it is at all, but it's our importance to make people realise a step deeper to that. So I'm not against anyone chasing the goals of their business, numbers at all, I think it's amazing, I have the same. But I know why I'm doing it, I know what I need to become to do that properly. Otherwise, that doing is gonna burn you out. And that's where people usually end up, is that in order to have, we end up doing things in a way that it burns us out. And then we lose everything, right? We lose ourself. And I love the fact that so many more thinkers, entrepreneurs are now speaking about this, like Jeff Bezos gets eight hours of sleep a night. Right, like I'm like, okay, none of us have an excuse. And he didn't just do that now, he's been doing that the whole time.

• 59:44Jay Shetty?

  Right, he's not saying I just did that now, now that I'm the first trillionaire in the world, or whatever it is. He's been doing that since day one. And that's what's beautiful about it, that if he can find eight hours of sleep, so can we. Right? So hopefully that helps paint a picture of the responsibility you're taking.

• 1:00:01Speaker 11

  And being able to create a new community of fellow business owners. So my question is, pretty much asking for advice. I am an attorney and I work with a lot of clients who... I, I work with them when they're very emotional, because something has happened to their business and they need help. And a lot of times, I, I have a hard time speaking to them in a way that motivates them to really take a step back.

• 1:00:39Speaker 11

  And, number one, calm them down, but number two, to really help them realize that there's a bigger picture here. This isn't the end of the world, there's more, more to it. So I, I guess I'm really just asking, looking for advice on how to communicate that to clients when they're so emotional as it is. When they come to me, they're very emotional.

• 1:01:05Jay Shetty?

  I'm gonna tell you the first thing that comes to my mind, and that is, I would outsource it. I would have someone else in the room who's an incredible coach, who's good at dealing with emotions, come in and play that role for you. Because they're naturally trained to do that, and then you get to play to your strengths. Right, it's like, the reason, and I'm starting then, I'll give, I'll give some advice of what you can do too, but I do really believe in, you're an attorney. You've got certain things you need to understand, certain questions you need to answer, and certain strengths you need to play to. And actually, if you get lost in both roles, you could find yourself very quickly becoming a therapist and an attorney. And that's gonna probably be quite draining or strenuous. I can see that becoming quite challenging very quickly.

• 1:01:47Jay Shetty?

  Because no one can play two roles at the same time for one person. And it can actually become a big burden that you're now carrying on your shoulders. So the first advice I have is for emotional clients, I would have someone who's a partner, that you have a relationship with, that is a partnership with your company or your brand, or whatever it may be, that can actually come in and provide that more emotional support, coaching, therapy, whatever that client needs. Because as much as I'd love to say I can't wait for you to grow those skills, I just feel like playing two hats at the same time is just a hard game to play. It's really, really tough. And this is why I think it's so important when people just, yeah, play to your strengths, play to what you've already got.

• 1:02:31Jay Shetty?

  Now, if you're saying to me, Jay, I would love to do that, I don't know if you think that sounds like a good idea or a terrible idea. Good or terrible?

• 1:02:38Speaker 11

  I think it's a great idea. I just find it hard to, when they come to me personally,

• 1:02:45Jay Shetty?

  Sure.

• 1:02:46Speaker 11

  to tell them, sorry, I'm, you know, here so and so.

• 1:02:49Jay Shetty?

  Sure. So I think you can do the in-between. You have got to do the nice passover to the person. So you've got to understand their emotions and feelings, but you've got to recognize that someone else can help them deeper. And that's the beauty of it, that your connection with this person has to become a fact of, obviously you understand it, and I'm sure you see it a lot, but that you care about them so much that you're going to introduce them to someone who actually understands them, who can actually help them heal the emotional, so that you can focus on the legal. Right? So that you can focus on whatever it may be.

• 1:03:23Speaker 11

  Yeah, thank you for that.

• 1:03:24Jay Shetty?

  I hope that helps.

• 1:03:26Speaker 12

  Hi Jay, I'm Karine.

• 1:03:28Jay Shetty?

  Hey.

• 1:03:28Speaker 12

  It's great to meet you.

• 1:03:29Jay Shetty?

  Nice to meet you.

• 1:03:30Speaker 12

  I saw you on the Red Table Talk.

• 1:03:31Jay Shetty?

  Yes. Oh, thank you.

• 1:03:32Speaker 12

  Yeah. So I'm grateful, obviously, I love breaking bread with my family. I mean, we're family here, and it's an awesome energy because I love what you said about how you lock it away so that at the table, in the bedroom, like, it's human. And so I work with a lot of corporate executives, and I know you do too. What are your methods on bringing that conscious leadership or conscious decision-making into every room that you walk into, but also how to bring it out of them?

• 1:04:10Jay Shetty?

  One of the things I set up for them was mindfulness Mondays. So I would encourage that every managing director would either learn or had someone on their team learn how to lead a mindfulness exercise at the start of every meeting on a Monday. So they had to dedicate three minutes to something I coached them in to lead that three-minute mindfulness exercise at the beginning of each meeting. And people thought it would make them less productive and they saw their productivity and effectiveness shoot through the roof. Why? Because half the time when we walk into a new room, we're bringing the baggage of the old room. And as people know, in corporate companies, all you're doing is walking from one meeting to another meeting to another meeting and not getting time to do work. And so people are just bringing their baggage from meeting to meeting,

• 1:04:55Jay Shetty?

  from room to room to room. And when you did that mindfulness exercise, they were able to drop that baggage and actually focus on the task at hand. I think the other way of doing it, regardless of making it a specific mindfulness exercise, is start getting everyone to be much more intentional and conscious about the goal of every meeting they walk into. And this is one of the biggest mistakes I saw in the corporate world, that even when we walk into a room, we are so unaware of what our intention is. We're so unaware. You can turn up at events, meetings, dinners and lunches every single day and not know why you're even there or what you want from it. And if you just took three minutes before you turned up to ask yourself,

• 1:05:37Jay Shetty?

  what's gonna be, how am I gonna view this meeting as a success? How am I gonna view walking into this room as a success? What is it gonna be for me that makes me feel like this was going in the right direction? And that's helping them become mindful without telling them to practice mindfulness. Helping them to become more intentional and conscious about why they're in those meetings, what they want from them, how they view them as success, is giving them a bird's eye view of what they're doing. And the third and final thing I'd say is helping them recognize that when they're this way, that's gonna reap incredible benefits from the people that work with them. And I think that's what most leaders...

• 1:06:19Jay Shetty?

  Underestimate that when you're more conscious and intentional, the people around you are forced to become more conscious and intentional. Hence, you raise the vibration of everyone. And so I think they need to be exposed to other conscious leaders. They need to come into environments like this. They need to meet people like yourself, and people like Chris, and Laurie, and other people who are living like that, with employees, with staff, with teams, to notice how when a conscious leader is operating on that level, people are raising their levels too. Alright, so those are just a few ideas. I'm sure we could talk about this for hours. But those are a few quick ideas that came to mind. Thank you.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  So let's do one last question. David here.

• 1:07:05Jay Shetty?

  Hey David.

• 1:07:06Speaker 13

  Hi, how you guys doing?

• 1:07:08Jay Shetty?

  Good.

• 1:07:08Speaker 13

  So I'm thankful for Chris Harder, my good friend, for putting this together. I wasn't gonna ask a question, although I'm very impressed by you and what you do, what you say. I relate to it a lot. So I'm gonna ask kind of a fun question. You spoke a lot about seeing education and entertainment in conjunction with each other.

• 1:07:29Speaker 13

  I like it because I teach it. I'm a big believer in teaching with pop culture because that's what people relate to. The libraries in their mind relate to music, movies, and television. So I'm gonna ask you a fun question. Of all the characters you know, fictional characters, in movies, television, whether it be on TV or cable, who do you most associate yourself with?

• 1:07:53Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love that. I'm gonna track back while I give some more perspective to this because I love mainstream culture too, and I love entertainment too, and love what you're doing, seeing as what I've just found out. So my favorite... I'm gonna start with my favorite director because I think it's so important. My favorite director in the world is Christopher Nolan. So for Christopher Nolan, for those of you who don't know what he made, he made Memento, The Prestige, The Dark Knight Trilogy, Inception and Interstellar, like just to name a few. He's absolutely phenomenal. He writes a ton of it. He always partners up with Hans Zimmer, who's like one of the best composers in the world. And they put out these epic movies that are complete mind twisters and I love him for it.

• 1:08:37Jay Shetty?

  So in terms of which director I associate with, I'm gonna go with director for now is Christopher Nolan because he's able to bring so many ancient and timeless concepts into his work. When I'm watching his movies, I can find concepts from Stoicism, Vedic times. I'm finding so many hidden messages across the way. And I love that because that's how I think as a content creator. How can I hide messages, right? It's the medicine in the sweet. And when I'm watching Christopher Nolan, I'm noticing he's making so many powerful points about character. I'm making so many powerful points about personality, about responsibility without us even knowing.

• 1:09:19Jay Shetty?

  And I'm one of those geeks who like go and research a movie after watching it and try and find all the hidden plot twists that I missed and then go watch it back. How many of you have seen The Prestige? Okay, so The Prestige is probably one of my favorite movies of all time. I'm glad I'm in a room of people who've seen it because I'm usually in a room of people who've not seen it. And probably not a popular role, but I'd probably say I identify most with Christian Bale's role in The Prestige. But the thing I identify with Christian Bale about in that role is the level of sacrifice it took to be the best at his art. So for those of you who haven't seen The Prestige, go and watch it. I won't, you know, no spoiler alert, I'm not gonna ruin it for you.

• 1:10:04Jay Shetty?

  For those of you who've seen it, you know what he does. He goes to the greatest extents to master his art. He works diligently, day and night, just to master his art. Where you look at Hugh Jackman's character and all he wants is fame and the result. And you see the difference between the two characters. Hugh Jackman has all the magic and has all the charisma, but he doesn't have the actual talent. And you see Christian Bale, all he has is the sacrifice, the hard work that's needed, the diligence and the focus to make it happen. And through that, he gives up a lot. And so that role of Christian Bale in that movie inspires so much of me. I also really love magic, so that helps.

• 1:10:47Jay Shetty?

  Uh, but yeah, that would be the role that really inspires me.

• 1:10:50Speaker 13

  I want to, just a quick follow up. Um, and I don't know if you're familiar with, are you familiar with, with meta-perception?

• 1:10:55Jay Shetty?

  I'm not.

• 1:10:56Speaker 13

  So, I've been studying, so perception is obviously what we see in front of us, right?

• 1:11:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:02Speaker 13

  And meta-perception is how we kind of, what I understand is how we view other people viewing us. It's kind of like, and, and to relate it to a character, I don't know if you guys are familiar with Seinfeld?

• 1:11:12Jay Shetty?

  Yep.

• 1:11:13Speaker 13

  Okay, so I, I, I look at George Stans as the characterization of meta-perception. In other words, he's so worried about what people think about him, he's willing to lie about what he does for a living, who he's dated, where he lives. And he lives in this world of worrying about why people like him, instead of living in the present. And there's this one scene, uh, if we're gonna go to teaching, where he's with Jer, I mean, he's with Jerry, and they get done with a double date, and he asks Jerry if Jerry's girlfriend liked him. And he's like, "Yeah, she liked me." He goes, "Wait, you're hesitating." He's like, "She didn't like me." He's like, "No, she liked me." He's like, "No, you're hesitating." "She didn't like me." He goes, "Okay, she didn't like me." So, basically, he was so worried about somebody else liking him, then he's like, goes into, "Why didn't she like me?"

• 1:11:58Speaker 13

  So he spends all this time, and I feel like that is something in our culture, especially with social media, that we're so worried about how other people are looking at us and what they're thinking, and we're in their heads rather than being.

• 1:12:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:11Speaker 13

  So if you could just speak to that.

• 1:12:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, definitely. So I've heard that from a writer called Charles Cooley in the 1900s, I think 1890, and he refers to that as the looking-glass self. It's from Cooley, and he said that, "Today, the biggest challenge is, I'm not what I think I am, I'm not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am." Alright, so let that blow your mind for a moment. So you said the challenge today is, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. Which means we live in a perception of a perception of ourself. Which means if I think Chris thinks I'm a nice guy, then I feel like a nice guy. But if I think Laurie thinks that I'm a loser, then I feel like a loser.

• 1:12:54Jay Shetty?

  And I'm basing my perception based on how I think other people think about me. Which is so messed up, right? And that's literally like inception on like two levels. It's like, first of all, you're not even sure that person feels that way. And they're not even sure that you're sure that you even know what they're talking about. And so we get lost in that. And that's why I think it's so important to remove ourself

• 1:13:20Jay Shetty?

  from defining how we feel about ourself. That's why I said earlier that happiness is how you feel about yourself when you're by yourself. Happiness is how you feel about yourself when you're by yourself. Because when you're by yourself, you've got no one to validate you anymore. And so when we walk out of the house, we're always like, do I look good in this to someone else? Ask yourself, do I look good in this? Because you could end up wearing something that you didn't like because someone else liked it. And then at the end of the night, you're like, oh, I wish you didn't tell me to wear that. And imagine you wore that mask for your whole life. Imagine you wore that career for your whole life. Imagine you wore that purpose for your whole life. And at the end of your life, you look back and go,

• 1:14:03Jay Shetty?

  wow, I just did all of that because 10 people thought it was amazing. And unfortunately, that's normal for a lot of our lives. I can definitely say it was normal for a lot of my life. When I decided to be a monk, that's when I broke the cycle. Because I wasn't doing that for anyone else apart from me, because no one else thought it was cool. Apart from me.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  So I know I said last question, I just wanted to check my team real quick and my wife. Um, did you guys have any questions that you need to answer? Okay, I don't know, I know to always check my wife.

• 1:14:34Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  Alright, my man, you crushed it, number one.

• 1:14:39Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, man, thank you.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  One of our favorite things to do is to always let you know what we learned

• 1:14:45Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love that.

• 1:14:46Speaker 01

  From what you spoke. So, rapid-fire takeaways. Uh, let's let Jay know what some of our takeaways were.

• 1:14:52Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love that, that's so cool.

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  And you can just kind of put your hand up and show up something and I'll repeat it.

• 1:14:57Jay Shetty?

  And if you feel like saying something better than I said, and pretend that you had it for me, say it, like, go for it.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  All the things. All the things, well, that's something up right there. Who else?

• 1:15:08Speaker 08

  I love the idea of writing, when you get a big decision, write the options and go where your intention re-quant.

• 1:15:14Jay Shetty?

  Thanks, man.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yep, so, write the intention of why you might say yes to it, I love that. Who else?

• 1:15:20Speaker 14

  Always choosing love.

• 1:15:21Speaker 01

  Always choosing love, totally, Scott?

• 1:15:23Speaker 07

  Getting crystal clear with your gratitude, taste, smell, feel.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, embody it.

• 1:15:29Speaker 07

  The exact moment of gratitude.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  For sure, for sure, that took my gratitude practice to a whole new level, hearing that. Right, because, well, I just make a list, like, I'm creative, waffles, laying crust of eggs, and great home for Lori, and, right? So, that changed the game for me. Uh, Brooks?

• 1:15:42Speaker 15

  Don't judge the moment, and we can't be everything, and that's okay.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  Yes, I love it, well, thank you.

• 1:15:50Speaker 16

  I like the cellphone space, but my kids are gonna be disappointed.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  But what an awesome opportunity for you to lead by example for them, I love that. I know we're gonna work on that too, I mean, I am, because Lori already wants to.

• 1:16:02Speaker 06

  Let the voice of your intuition be the loudest voice.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Let the voice of your intuition be the loudest voice you hear, I love that. Who else? Every failure has feedback in it. Yeah, every failure has feedback, Melissa?

• 1:16:15Speaker 17

  I think it's, look, part about supporting your spouse through their own transformation and allowing them to have it.

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  That was awesome, wasn't it? Yeah, that was really good.

• 1:16:24Jay Shetty?

  Thanks, man.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Uh, Joel, did I miss you?

• 1:16:27Speaker 05

  I was just figuring about, yes, part about the spouse.

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely, did I miss anybody?

• 1:16:33Speaker 08

  Don't measure yourself based on room air.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  Don't measure yourself based on room air, these are good takeaways.

• 1:16:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, these are amazing, you guys are great listeners.

• 1:16:40Speaker 18

  Um, everybody goes at a different pace, which is, then you can just let them be on their journey. And also, just the confirmation of why you're so clear, like, you meditate to cheer yourself for that long. So, sometimes when I can't hear myself, it's because I'm doing five to 10 minutes.

• 1:16:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, which is not bad, which is wonderful, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:58Speaker 18

  Yeah, totally, but deeper, yeah.

• 1:17:00Speaker 01

  Everybody goes at a different pace and meditate longer?

• 1:17:03Speaker 18

  Yes.

• 1:17:05Speaker 15

  The thing about, um, just always, if you wanna be good at something, at, at certain moments, you have to practice it in the hard moments.

• 1:17:13Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, yes.

• 1:17:14Speaker 15

  So like gratitude, patience, patience.

• 1:17:17Jay Shetty?

  Present.

• 1:17:18Speaker 15

  Not judging, but you need to practice it when that guy cuts you off and you'll be patient other times.

• 1:17:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you, man.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  Did I miss anybody?

• 1:17:29Speaker 16

  Just hearing how diverse your life has been and you're still so young. As a young man, I often think, you know, I'm going this way. If I stop doing this for a year, I'm, I'm done. But it's just so encouraging to hear that you've done so many different things and how you've gone from literally this side, all the way to the side and back and forth. And it's just so.

• 1:17:47Jay Shetty?

  Totally, man.

• 1:17:48Speaker 14

  If you wanna be present later, be present now.

• 1:17:51Speaker 01

  Yes, absolutely. Anyone else?

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  All right, good takeaways, guys.

• 1:17:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you guys said it way, you said it way better than I did.

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  You guys have awesome questions, awesome takeaways.

• 1:18:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  Amazing value.

• 1:18:04Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  How can we serve you? Is there anything way that we could serve you?

• 1:18:07Jay Shetty?

  This is beautiful. I just think the best way we can all serve is by you taking all of these principles and applying them into your life, passing them on to others. You're all coaches, teachers, guides, you know, business creators, whatever you do, like infuse your world with that. Because that means we're gonna have lots more people in the world that are living off of this. And that's the best thing we can do is just, anything that you took away, please pass it on to just one person, 10 people, 100 people, a million people on social media, whatever it is, just pass it on. Because I just wanna see this like completely cascade across the whole world. And I wanna take this moment to say a huge thank to Chris and Laurie as well. Like your community is amazing. Uh, thank you for all the heartfelt questions.

• 1:18:50Jay Shetty?

  It was nice to sit in a room where we could speak about the depths of things. I'm sure we could have spoken about things like social media and stuff like, for hours, but this is just so much more powerful. And, uh, it's a testament to you, Chris. So thank you for inviting me here and thank you for the wonderful introduction. I was so touched. And I'm just genuinely grateful for you being a friend in my life too, man. So thank you so much.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  Well, likewise, brother. Thank you.

• 1:19:13Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for listening to that episode of On Purpose. It means so much to me. I really, really hope that you like this new style of episode. It was just something I wanted to try out and experiment with because I love getting you into my personal life. I want you to hear about what I talk about behind the scenes and at these events. I'd love to hear your feedback. I can't wait to see what you're learning because I'm going to share a lot more of those because I want you to get access to understand different topics from different points of view. And actually, I probably answered a lot of questions that many of you have as well. And I'm sure you could hear yourself in those people. So anyway, thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I can't wait for you to hear this one next week. Thank you so much.

• 1:20:01Speaker 03

  Mr. President, my company formed me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd.

• 1:20:05Jay Shetty?

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Ravenhead.

• 1:20:17Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:20:25Speaker 03

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 1:20:26Speaker 04

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only appears October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.