Power Point Night

Conan talks to Civil War historian Cooper in Washington, D. C. about how to work Civil War discourse into a first date and how Conan would have fared on the battlefield. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:03Speaker 01

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• 1:30Speaker 01

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  Hey, Cooper, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

• 1:43Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Cooper, how are you? Good, how are you? Okay, I'm gonna ask you to pretend to be excited to see me. Because I'm very excited. You just look like you're in the eight items or less aisle. And you're just, I mean, I want you to just manufacture, right? Just to manufacture a little like, wow.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Be excited, be so excited.

• 2:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, no, I'm seriously, how are you, Cooper?

• 2:04Speaker 03

  I am really good. I am so excited to be here.

• 2:06Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well, now you look like you're a hostage, saying the stuff you've been told to say by your captors, which in a kind of way you are. Where are you coming from, Cooper?

• 2:14Speaker 03

  I live in DC.

• 2:15Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, okay, and tell us a little bit about yourself, Cooper. All I know is you're Cooper, you're from DC, you appear to be a young fellow. Are you in your late twenties? Are you in your thirties? Give us an age.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  I'm 26 and I am a Civil War historian.

• 2:31Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God. Okay, I'm glad to talk to you. I'm a bit of a Civil War, I'm a bit of a history buff, and I, Civil War is one of the areas that I'm kind of interested in. Have you been a Civil War buff your whole life, or is this something you came to later on?

• 2:45Speaker 03

  I have. I've been a history buff my whole life. When I was in third grade, my teacher wrote on my report card that I watched too much History Channel.

• 2:55Conan O'Brien?

  Held back a year.

• 2:58Conan O'Brien?

  Enough history.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, which basically meant I couldn't shut up. So, and then it was a fifth grade field trip to Gettysburg that really got me onto Civil War, and I haven't really stopped since.

• 3:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Gettysburg will get you. That's, that's a, I've visited many battlefields, and my wife drew the line when we were in Georgia, and I tried to make her come see Andersonville, which is the famous Confederate prison where they kept a lot of northern prisoners, and they all died of dysentery. And my wife was like, wait, where are we driving to now? And I said, we're off to Andersonville. And she said, what happened there? Thousands of people died of diarrhea, and she said, nope.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Not on our honeymoon.

• 3:40Conan O'Brien?

  Not on our honeymoon. So, haven't been there, I blame her. But Gettysburg, that is, it's incredible to walk that area. It was such a pivotal battle, and to walk that area, and kind of you can see the topography's still the same. So you can kind of get a feel for why things played out the way they did.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  It is. It's really amazing. And I get the chance to lead students on tours there every year. And you can tell, not all of them are really into the military history, but I think the human interest stories are really how you get to the students. Like, when I, when I lead a tour of, shall I say, older people, they really want to know the nuts and bolts of where was the right flank of the Third Alabama. But when you're engaging with high school and college students, it's the human interest stories that like really blow them away at a place like Gettysburg.

• 4:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you tell them, here's where Taylor Swift reloaded her musket.

• 4:33Conan O'Brien?

  I would just lie to the students. I would just plug in all kinds of the latest pop stars and reality stars, just to get them interested.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Come on, no.

• 4:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Here's where the Real Housewives of New Jersey led a charge.

• 4:47Conan O'Brien?

  Cooper, you're allowed to lie if it keeps them interested.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  No, you're not. No, you're not, Cooper. You can't lie about the Civil War.

• 4:56Conan O'Brien?

  Can I ask you a question? One of my favorite books, like one of my desert island books, if I was allowed, like five books on a desert island, one of them would be Killer Angels by Michael Shara, which I think is one of the most beautiful. It's a novel, but it's historically accurate to the Battle of Gettysburg, and it takes place over three days, and all the main players are in there. And I've read that book maybe seven, eight, nine times.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 5:23Conan O'Brien?

  And I just find it haunting and beautiful. Killer Angels, Michael Shara, you don't even have to be his Civil War buff to find out a powerful book, I think. Do you agree with me?

• 5:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I read that when I was very young. It's, it's a good one.

• 5:35Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay. So you're so smart. You read it when you were, you're like, yes, I read that when I was two.

• 5:45Conan O'Brien?

  You read it just before everybody pooped.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  With dysentery.

• 5:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. You gotta bring it back.

• 5:54Conan O'Brien?

  Um, okay, well, so I like you. We have similar interests. I think this date's going well so far, Cooper. Um, and you live, you know, I would think it'd be hard not to get into some of the history because if you live in DC and you live in that area, you know, you can't walk 15 feet without being on ground that was somehow involved in something historic, you know? Uh, and I felt the same way in Massachusetts, growing up. It was all about the Revolutionary War, you know, you'd, you could take a trip to Lexington and Concord, or even if you're walking around Boston, you're, uh, or in the hills around Boston, Bunker Hill, it's all

• 6:34Conan O'Brien?

  stuff where history played itself out. Um, so I think that helped fuel my interest in, uh, in history was just that I kind of grew up around it.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely the same for me. I mean, I grew up a little bit north of Gettysburg. Um, so I kind of grew up in an area where Civil War history was, you know, um, all around me. And then moving to DC for grad school, obviously I'm next to the archives, I'm immersed in history all the time. So, um, almost, almost to the point where I take it for granted, but I try not to.

• 7:06Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, so tell me a little bit about your life. So we've, we've covered the Civil War part. Tell us more about, uh, Cooper. What's your last name, Cooper?

• 7:15Speaker 03

  Wingert.

• 7:15Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, Cooper Wingert. Tell us about Cooper Wingert, the man. What's going on? What's happening?

• 7:22Speaker 03

  I guess my two hobbies besides, I love reading and writing. I love teaching. Um, that kind of is an extension of my work. So that's a big part of who I am. Um, I, one of my favorite things professionally that I do is each summer I do a summer program for rising high school seniors. It's aimed at first generation college students.

• 7:41Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Um, so I actually get to live in the dorms with these students. I'm like their TA, their RA. I'm like basically their, you know, glorified babysitter. Um, so I get to kind of help them transition to, you know, doing college level coursework, but at the same time I have to like, you know, just be like the adult in the room and make sure they don't, they look both ways before they cross the street. So, um, it's kind of one of the fun things I get to do. I get to be really silly. I get to do like PowerPoint night with them. I have a fan favorite, Nicolas Cage, PowerPoint.

• 8:10Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So every now and then, when you guys really want to just rip the lid off this thing and go totally loco, you have PowerPoint night?

• 8:22Speaker 03

  I know, it's, it's

• 8:23Conan O'Brien?

  How old are these, how old are these kids, by the way?

• 8:26Speaker 03

  They're sixteen, seventeen, so we, we, they're, we gotta keep them, you know, like, you know, fun and, and not crazy entertainment.

• 8:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but when you get to the When do you get to the fun part, Cooper?

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Or crazy entertainment?

• 8:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  When? No, they, they get to design the PowerPoint, so they design a PowerPoint about some crazy topic they pick, um, and then we, as the staff, also design our own PowerPoint.

• 8:48Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, alright.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  So I designed one about how Nicolas Cage blew his fortune, and they seemed to like that one.

• 8:52Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay, alright, wait a minute, I'm, I'm liking this now, how did Nicolas Cage blow his fortune?

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Uh, a series of very strange, uh, purchases, like a dinosaur skull, um, skeleton that ended up being repossessed by Interpol, I think.

• 9:04Conan O'Brien?

  You know, there's nothing worse than when, when a skeleton you bought is repossessed. It's one thing when they come take your Maserati, but when they take your skeleton...

• 9:13Speaker 02

  If I had a dime.

• 9:14Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, yes, I, didn't he, he bought some bones and then they were controversial, maybe they were even counterfeit, who can say? I don't know. But, um, look, Nick Cage, terrific actor, great body of work, um, but maybe what you're saying is, uh, we shouldn't go to him for investment counsel?

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Maybe not, that, that's kind of the, the theme of the presentation.

• 9:36Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Well, okay, it sounds like you guys are having a good time. The PowerPoint. The, the PowerPoint, yeah. Um, what about your life? What's going on in your social life?

• 9:48Speaker 03

  Um, I, I live in DC, I'm, I'm in the final stage of my PhD program, so I am kind of like, on the job market, so I'm like, potentially moving anywhere in the country. So everything's kind of up in the air right now, but it's kind of a good position to be in because, um, I don't really, like, the, the choices are in, in some ways, like, out of my hands, so I'm kind of, you know, just, kind of seeing where things go right now.

• 10:11Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, but what about, like, dating? Are you on the apps, like all the young people? Are you on the apps?

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I am single, um, I try not to bring up the Civil War stuff on dates.

• 10:21Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute, I said, are you on the apps? And you went, no, I'm single. Well, I'm married and I'm on the app. And I am cleaning up. I'm like, Liza! Kiki in Palm Springs is into it!

• 10:44Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 10:47Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 11:02Conan O'Brien?

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• 11:10Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 11:15Conan O'Brien?

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• 11:34Speaker 01

  Hello!

• 11:35Conan O'Brien?

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• 12:09Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  What?

• 12:12Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Ooh!

• 12:16Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:17Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 12:24Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?

• 12:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:29Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:31Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Oh, that's weird.

• 12:39Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider, and that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 12:48Speaker 01

  You travel a lot.

• 12:49Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:50Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 13:02Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:03Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 13:08Speaker 01

  My god.

• 13:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 13:13Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best. Based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 13:41Conan O'Brien?

  Coca-Cola Zero Sugar is so good, it's almost impossible not to finish it before the meal arrives. It's just too good to wait. That happens to me sometimes.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 13:50Conan O'Brien?

  You can try rules like no sipping until the appetizer arrives, or you tell your friend, "Don't let me touch my glass." But every time you're staring at an empty glass. So if you've ever finished your Coke Zero before the first fry hits the table, you're among friends. It happens. Occupational hazard with Coke Zero.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:08Conan O'Brien?

  Real Coca-Cola taste, zero sugar, too good to wait. Enjoy an ice cold Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 14:16Speaker 04

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• 14:52Conan O'Brien?

  You're single, but you're not on the apps.

• 14:55Speaker 03

  No, I am on the apps.

• 14:55Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, okay, good, okay, good, okay. All right. And you want to kind of hide the Civil War stuff for now?

• 15:03Speaker 03

  I think let it out in moderation. I don't want to scare somebody on a first date, you know? It's kind of like, I almost imagine giving a date, like, you know, the cards they give you in like a soccer game, the refs, like, they hold up a card if you do something, like, commit a foul.

• 15:16Conan O'Brien?

  Sure.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Like, that's what I need for like, when I start going off about the Civil War, I need somebody to just be like, "You're cut off."

• 15:22Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  You got like, "This is your warning," so.

• 15:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, Cooper, this could be bad advice, but I couldn't disagree more. I say you lead the Civil War and go hard. I say, yeah, I say you should, you should be dressed on the apps as a Civil War soldier.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 15:36Conan O'Brien?

  With the, with the kooky beard and the musket. And, um, you should talk to them and say like, "I just got back from battle." "We had a, I was in the Hornets next. It was, uh, the fire was coming pretty fast and thick."

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Why is he talking like that? You know what?

• 15:52Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 15:52Speaker 01

  Civil War reenactment.

• 15:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  You can meet someone at a Civil War reenactment. You've done a Civil War reenactment.

• 15:59Conan O'Brien?

  Sure, I did. I did, yeah. We did it down in, uh, it was in Atlanta.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:03Conan O'Brien?

  It's where I met Liza.

• 16:06Conan O'Brien?

  She was, she was a corpse.

• 16:10Conan O'Brien?

  We were two corpses. Right outside Atlanta. And, uh, I just liked the way that she was laid out, you know?

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Oh, dear.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  God, laid out.

• 16:21Conan O'Brien?

  And we couldn't move much, but I was like, "Hey," and she was like, "Hi." And I'm like, "I got you out in the chest," and she's like, "I got a belly wound." And I'm like, "Those are bad. Those get infected." And one thing led to the other. And, uh, yeah. So, um, have you done any Civil War reenactments?

• 16:40Speaker 03

  I have. When I was like 12, I was conscripted into one for 10 minutes and I quit.

• 16:45Conan O'Brien?

  You can't be drafted in a fake war.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  No.

• 16:51Conan O'Brien?

  What do you mean?

• 16:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, how?

• 16:54Speaker 03

  I think one of the reenactors like had to leave for some, something. He just got in his car and drove away. So they gave me a uniform and they said like, "Carry this baked potato from here to the cannon and put it in the cannon," or pretend to.

• 17:05Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 17:05Speaker 03

  And we're gonna.

• 17:05Conan O'Brien?

  Baked potato? What kind of reenactment is this? I like a, you know what I like? I like a no starch reenactment. No starches on my reenactment. Uh, that's hilarious. Well, I was a very odd child. And I remembered writing a play about Lincoln's assassination at Ford Theater in the third grade.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Oh, boy.

• 17:26Conan O'Brien?

  And making Scotty McGregor play Lincoln. And I played Booth. And we staged it in the gymnasium so I could yell, "Six semper tyrannis!" And jump from the top. They had bars that went up to the ceiling for gymnastics. And I leapt and then crawled into a little crawl space and hid. And the play lasted like three minutes. And the whole third grade.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  Booth, too. He's so dark and.

• 17:47Conan O'Brien?

  I know.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  I know. Why did you choose to be Booth?

• 17:50Conan O'Brien?

  Cause I wanted Scotty McGregor to be Lincoln. I thought he was a good, and I wanted to make that leap. Six semper tyrannis and then leap. And, um, and then I crawled into a little hole and I had to stay there cause there was no way out until all the students left. So I crawled into a little hole at the Michael Baldwin School in Brookline, Massachusetts.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Were you in costume?

• 18:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yes! I had a little mustache and I had a little overcoat. And I think my derringer was just a baked potato. Cause that's the go-to in Civil War reenactments. So I killed Lincoln with a baked potato. But, uh, yeah, I got, I'll never, I don't know why, I remember that very well. Scotty McGregor asking him in the playground, "Can you be my Lincoln?" And he was like, "Sure." What do I do? You just sit there and watch a pretend play and I shoot you. And then I climb into a hole and hide there until the whole auditorium leaves. So I'm a weird guy. And I like you. I like you, Cooper.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 18:44Conan O'Brien?

  Um, well, I don't think you have to hide the fact that you have these interests. You seem like a really nice person. I think, uh, you know, I, I, I think you can be, I think you can be open about it.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause what if you meet someone that's just as into it as you are?

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  That would be surprising.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Would you either want that, or do you kind of like to keep it for yourself?

• 19:07Speaker 03

  I mean, to be, to be honest, I don't think that's ideal in a partner. I think if there's too much similar interests, I don't know that I'd want to hear about the Civil War from somebody else. Um, I like to listen to myself talk about it all day, but I don't know if I want to hear somebody else's voice talking about it.

• 19:21Conan O'Brien?

  I just love you going, saying, "If I hear one more word about Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, I'm gonna lose it." Um, I don't, I just, uh, you seem like an exemplary young fellow, doesn't he? I mean, this is the kind of person we need more of. You're teaching, you're helping people, you're obsessed with the Civil War. Yeah. These are all the qualities that I find mandatory in a human being.

• 19:45Conan O'Brien?

  Where are you right now in your house? Cause it's, there's nothing hanging on the wall.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  I know. I, I actually stress so much about my Zoom background. Um, basically I just moved apartments, so, um, I was gonna do like a bookshelf, so I, you know, looked very professorial, but, um, you know, just life got the better of me, so you're getting the hostage background.

• 20:07Conan O'Brien?

  It's okay. I'm like how the light switch is painted the same color as the wall.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Thank you. I thought it was a nice touch.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  And the shelf brackets, too.

• 20:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, everything blends into everything else. But man, does your green sweater pop? That's for sure. It's going well.

• 20:25Conan O'Brien?

  It is going well.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Cooper, do you have a question for Conan?

• 20:28Speaker 03

  I do. So I, I'm curious. Uh, I know you have a big love of the Civil War. If you were a Civil War general, I want to know what skillsets or liabilities you would bring to the battlefield.

• 20:40Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, in real life? I think my, I think my cowardice, I'm gonna say is a plus.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  How's that?

• 20:48Conan O'Brien?

  Well, um, it's very good to save lives and the best way to do that is to lead everybody away from the fight. Now, would I be leading them so much as just running first? I don't know. Um, uh, I think I'd be really good around a campfire at night, you know, spinning a yarn, uh, entertaining people, and then the next day when the fighting broke out, they'd notice, "I didn't, I don't see him either."

• 21:14Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know where he went.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Every night you show up.

• 21:16Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe he got killed, but then I'm back at the fire that night. And I'm like, I tell you, did you see the way Lee took off on his horse?

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Oh, that right flank.

• 21:26Conan O'Brien?

  He ran faster than a man. That right flank crumpled like, you know, and then I would just be making jokes and stuff. And I'd be laughing again. Next day I'm gone. No one knows where I am. Cause I found one hollow tree. Nobody knows about.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Just like Booth, you're in your little hole.

• 21:41Conan O'Brien?

  My little hole. I'm like any threatened animal. I like to just go find a little hole and hide in it until all, everything calms down. But I think I'd be a lot of fun around the campfire. I really do. What about you? How do you, what are your, do you think you'd make a good leader? If you, let's say we get in a time machine, you go back to 1863, Battle of Gettysburg, of course, uh, summer. You know, you're there in Pennsylvania. Do you think you'd, you'd do a good job?

• 22:06Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, considering that I, I quit reenacting after 10 minutes because the uniform was too hot, you know, probably not, but um, give me a baked potato. Sure. I mean, I could probably launch that thing.

• 22:16Conan O'Brien?

  Right. Okay. And of course, uh, and I hate to bring it up, but you know, most soldiers did die of disease back then. So, you know, um.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  What is that? What's your point there?

• 22:28Conan O'Brien?

  My point is that Cooper, you'd get real sick real fast.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  Probably, yeah.

• 22:34Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, and, um, me, I wouldn't because I'd be far from the battlefield. Eating wholesome, just a lot of apples.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  You'd be at some hot springs. It's convalescing.

• 22:47Conan O'Brien?

  I'd find a, a five star resort that's adjacent to the battle and I've got, I've got, uh.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Binoculars?

• 22:57Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no. What do they, they put on their eyes in spas? What do they put?

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Cucumbers?

• 23:02Conan O'Brien?

  I've got cucumbers on my eyes. Yeah. Stop bringing up potatoes.

• 23:07Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, um, well, I wish you well. Uh, Cooper, you seem like a, you seem like a good guy. I really do. I think you're a good guy and, uh, and I think I, you haven't said it yet, but I can tell you really admire me and think I'm a great man. And I'm just gonna fill that in and you can just keep nodding with about as little enthusiasm as I've ever seen.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  I admire you so much. I'd love for you to blurb my next book, but for it to be something totally unrelated to the book.

• 23:33Conan O'Brien?

  I'll do that. Sure.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  Like, like this book about the Civil War. This, this had the greatest tomato soup recipe ever.

• 23:40Conan O'Brien?

  Done. I'll do it for you. We'll reach out to you. We'll contact you. What's your next book gonna be about?

• 23:46Speaker 03

  Uh, my next book is about, um, the destruction of slavery during the Civil War.

• 23:49Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, good. Well, you probably don't wanna have like, I don't want a funny blurb on the back of a...

• 23:53Speaker 02

  From a white, the whitest guy ever.

• 23:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. I'm the whitest guy in the world. And did you see Conan's comedy blurb on the back of this book on slavery? That seemed inappropriate. I think you're trying to destroy my career, Cooper. I'll wait till the next book after that, but I, I do wish you all the best. Uh, I think teachers, uh, do, are doing God's work. I really do. And so bless you, sir. And, uh, I hope we meet in person one day on a fake battlefield.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Sounds great. If you ever want to tour Gettysburg.

• 24:23Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. All right. We'll figure it out. All right. Take care. Thanks a lot.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 24:28Speaker 05

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 24:45Speaker 05

  Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Byrme. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

• 25:15Speaker 05

  Hey, that's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a white claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the claw. White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celta Works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 25:45Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right.

• 25:55Conan O'Brien?

  That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 25:59Conan O'Brien?

  Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?

• 26:02Speaker 01

  No, but maybe...

• 26:02Conan O'Brien?

  For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?

• 26:05Speaker 01

  I know, yeah, I remember that. That was not good.

• 26:07Conan O'Brien?

  Well, anyway, now you got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters. You can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit roberthalf.com/salaryguide.