How Elizabeth Smart Transformed Trauma Into Purpose

How Do You Turn Tragedy Into Triumph? In this unforgettable conversation, I sit down with Elizabeth Smart—a woman whose strength and grace have inspired millions. Elizabeth was kidnapped at knifepoint from her home at just 14 years old and endured nine months of unspeakable abuse. But what truly amazes me isn’t just her survival—it’s the extraordinary life she’s built in the aftermath. In this episode, Elizabeth shares what it means to reclaim your life, how she’s become a fierce protector of others, and the mindset that helped her move forward instead of staying trapped by trauma. Elizabeth opens up about those terrifying moments of captivity and the choice she made every day: don’t give up. She shares what it took to move past fear and anger—not to excuse what was done to her—but to love herself enough to not let that pain define her life. We talk about forgiveness, and she explains it in a way that will stop you in your tracks: “Forgiveness is the greatest form of self-love because it allows you to leave the anger behind and move forward.” We also dive into how trauma leaves a mark—not just on your heart, but on your brain. Elizabeth reveals how she’s worked to take her power back, from building a loving marriage to creating the Elizabeth Smart Foundation and Smart Defense, where women (and men) learn that they are stronger than they ever imagined. I loved how she said, “You are so powerful. You are much stronger than you think you are.” This episode isn’t just about Elizabeth’s story—it’s about all of us. Whether you’ve faced your own trauma, or you’re standing with someone who has, there’s so much here about resilience, purpose, and hope. Elizabeth’s courage will change the way you see your own challenges—and your ability to rise above them. Key takeaways from this episode: The real meaning of forgiveness and why it’s a gift you give yourself. How to reclaim your power when trauma makes you feel powerless. Why open communication and unconditional love are the most important things you can offer your children. The importance of learning self-defense not just for protection, but for confidence. How to be the kind of person who says, “I believe you. I’m here for you,” when someone shares their pain. Let this conversation remind you that no matter what you’ve been through, your future can be brighter than your past. Share this episode with someone who needs it. Let’s make a difference together. And for anyone who wants to learn more or get involved, please visit www.elizabethsmartfoundation.org. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈 → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ INSTAGRAM ➡️FACEBOOK ➡️ LINKEDIN ➡️ X ➡️ WEBSITE Get my exclusive Monday Motivation training in GrowthDay, the world’s #1 app for advanced mindset and personal development. Visit https://growthday.com/ed. This show is sponsored by GrowthDay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

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• 0:45Ed Mylett?

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• 1:30Ed Mylett?

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• 2:03Speaker 01

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• 2:28Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. So today's a special show. I've wanted to talk to this woman for over a decade. I wanted to talk to her before I even had a podcast. Because her story is unbelievable. Most of you know who she is, but those of you that might be a little bit younger, you may not. So let me give you a little refresher. June 5, 2002, my guest was kidnapped at knife point from her bedroom in Salt Lake City, Utah by a guy named Brian David Mitchell. And his wife wanted to help a little bit, too. And she ended up in captivity with these people for nine months during which she was often moved all over the place. She suffered

• 3:11Ed Mylett?

  every type of abuse you can possibly imagine during those nine months. Every type you can imagine. And I remember watching, thinking this little girl is gone. I remember thinking she was gone. And then, shockingly, in March of 2003, Elizabeth was found and rescued in Sandy, Utah, only about 18 miles from her house. And since that time, spoiler alert, she's lived an amazing life of contribution. She's turned that tragedy into something just absolutely miraculous. She is the founder of the Elizabeth Smart Foundation, which we're going to talk about today.

• 3:47Ed Mylett?

  But when you talk about resilience, toughness, a comeback, whatever you want to call it, there's probably nobody on earth I'd rather talk to, and I mean that than this woman, about those topics. And so Elizabeth Smart, finally, welcome to the show. It's great to have you.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Thank you for having me. Happy to be here.

• 4:07Ed Mylett?

  Well, good. And by the way, guys, on YouTube, she's smiling, which means she is really, really happy to be here. She's got a cold today, but we're gonna, we're gonna power through. Any of you going through, have gone through any type of trauma in your life, probably difficult to compare to hers, but you've gone through trauma, or you're just going through a hard time right now, and you need some resiliency skills and some comeback skills. We're gonna, we're gonna go through those things today. So I don't even know where to begin, but I think what I want to do is at least go back a little bit, but I want to spend the majority of the time on what you're doing now. But I want to go back just a little bit. And I'm wondering,

• 4:40Ed Mylett?

  The day you get abducted, if you could go back to yourself at fourteen, Elizabeth, if you could even put yourself there again, what would you say to that little girl as she's got to be terrified and scared of being whisked away? What would you whisper to her if you could go back and say something to her?

• 4:56Speaker 02

  I mean, that's a good question. Um, there was nothing that could have prepared me for that moment. There wasn't anything that anyone could have said, meaning not to it, that would have altered what happened, or I don't know, changed how I reacted because I had lived such a sheltered life. I had, you know, never experienced like anything bad. I came from a loving family. I lived in a nice neighborhood. I lived in a nice home like. This was just something that was so far removed from anything that had ever happened to me. I don't think that there's actually anything uh that could have prepared me, but I think if I was gonna say something, I would tell myself,

• 5:39Speaker 02

  don't give up, you will survive this. Just make it through every day as it comes.

• 5:44Ed Mylett?

  Hmm. Every day, one day at a time. It's interesting. Anything traumatic like that adage wo- works. I can't possibly imagine what one day for you was like as a little girl. I'm just having a daughter, just, you know, missing your mom and dad, the abuse that you're taking daily, wondering if it's ever going to end or you're going to be found. Was there a point, and by the way, it would be completely acceptable. I'm just curious, was there a point where you no longer believed you were going to be found? And this was going to be it forever? Did you eventually just kind of give into that as a reality?

• 6:18Speaker 02

  There were definitely moments where I thought that this might be my reality until my captors died, which like in my mind at the time, I was like, that could be another thirty years. So I felt like there was a good chance I would outlive them. Um, but like.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Being rescued, making it home, like it felt like it was far away. Yeah, there were plenty of those times.

• 6:43Ed Mylett?

  One thing that's just mind blowing to me about that time, and again, guys, we're going to shift into the tools and the things she's accomplished since and what she's learned. But one thing that blew my mind about this story, because I'm watching it as a young man and I'm thinking this little girl's gone. Most, you don't find someone in nine months, right? And, and then to learn later, these people like walked you into town several times. Like you were right there near, even I think a police officer actually pulled your guy over, did he not? Like you were that close to being rescued multiple times. Most people don't know that part of the story.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  It was very close. And actually, that's probably one of the more common questions I get asked as well. Why didn't you run? Why didn't you scream? Why didn't you say anything? And I feel like it's important to address that because I feel like, although my experience is different from many other survivors. This instance is very common. I mean, we see it in domestic violence situations where people are like, you had a car. Why didn't you just drive away? Your husband was beating you. Why didn't you just leave? It's never just as simple as like getting in a car and going away. For me, it wasn't as simple as like just screaming out, you know, like I'm Elizabeth Smart, come save me. Um, as much as I wanted to, I had already spent months in captivity. I'd already been through huge amounts of abuse.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Um, and I had been threatened repeatedly that if I said or did anything they didn't want me to do, that they'd kill me, that they would kill my family. Um, they felt like they felt invincible to me. Uh, he'd bring back missing posters of the search efforts for me. He'd talk about how Salt Lake City was just covered in my face and there were blue ribbons everywhere. Tied around trees, all in my remembrance of me. And he'd just laugh about it and he'd be like, all of Salt Lake is looking for you, but no one will ever find you because I have you. And that felt like that was the truth. And so he really, he really did feel like.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  He was invincible and when he made threats, they were not idle threats. I mean, the threats that he made, he followed through with enough of them that I truly believe that he would kill me or that he would kill my family if I didn't do exactly what he said. Now, as an adult and like having been in this space in hindsight, when I speak to survivors, I often talk about how like, parents should talk to their children and be like, if anyone ever tells you to keep a secret, you need to tell me. And if anyone ever says like, we will get hurt, that's not your job to protect us. Our job is to protect you. Um, and so trying to keep those lines of communication open, I think are so important, but that burden

• 9:27Speaker 02

  was also very heavy on my shoulders. I felt like it was my responsibility to protect my family. So I did what I was told.

• 9:36Ed Mylett?

  I just had a friend, it's ironic that we're talking, um, I have a female friend, she's just incredibly strong woman, like she's like a, like a badass, you know, and, um, and, uh, but in her first relationship, her first, uh, relationship was abusive. She lived with a man who was abusive. And it's almost impossible now for me to picture her staying, to your point, like, why'd you stay? And, uh, she said a couple of things. She said, well, one, your identity is completely stripped of you. So you're not thinking in a way of a, a, a strong person, it's been taken from you. And she had the other thing was these threats he made, I believed them. And I think this judgment that we have, any of you listening to this today,

• 10:17Ed Mylett?

  that are in a relationship that you know you need to get out of, maybe you're in it, you're afraid to leave because there's physical abuse, maybe they've emotionally abused you to the point where you don't love or believe in yourself anymore. Maybe they've stripped your identity from you. Um, maybe you're afraid to leave because financially, you, you can't afford to be on your own. Maybe some of you in a relationship that you aren't going to leave because of the social judgment of what people are going to think that. You didn't make it as a couple. If you could talk to someone, Elizabeth, who's in some varying degree, because there's degrees of everything, of a toxic to all the way up to physically abusive relationship, and they know in their heart, this isn't where I belong. I don't belong here. Clearly, you didn't. What would you say to someone who's in that spot?

• 11:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would want them to know they are so strong. They are so strong that they can do hard things. And it's gonna be hard. It is gonna be scary leaving the abusive relationship. It is gonna be difficult. It's not gonna be easy, but it is gonna be worth it because there are so many good people in this world who want to help, who have built organizations and companies and offered programs around trying to help survivors get out of these horrific situations. And unfortunately, not everyone is always blessed to be born into a supportive family. But these people that you

• 11:43Speaker 02

  come into contact with, you find your family. You choose your family. And so do not give up. You're so strong. You can do hard things. And you deserve to be happy. You don't deserve to be in pain. You don't deserve to be hurt.

• 11:59Ed Mylett?

  I remember when you got rescued. I'm just gonna speak candidly. I have an hour with you. And I remember when you got rescued, I was thinking, first off, I couldn't believe you were rescued because everyone thought you were gone. And then I remember going, I mean, I'll just be candid, she's gonna be a mess. There's just no way that nine months, what she's gone through, there's no way she's gonna become a functional contributory person. Bless her heart. I felt only empathy and no hope when I thought of you. I'm saying that candidly because I think that was probably what the majority of people thought. I'm curious about, one, the day you were rescued, what those emotions were like, if you could even remember. And how did you, I mean, listen to you

• 12:44Ed Mylett?

  with the foundation and Smart Defense and a couple of books and all the stuff. And by the way, a loving marriage and family you created of your own. The broad question first, then we'll get specifics. What was it like the day you were rescued? And how in the world have you turned out the way you have?

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Um, the day that I was rescued, I mean, it was a roller coaster like it. It was, it was scary. I didn't always know what was going on, but ultimately at the end of the day, when I finally made it back to my home, I felt like everything that had been taken away from me had all of a sudden been given back. And I just remember feeling like I never wanted to miss out on anything ever again. I felt like I'd already missed out on so much. And so I wanted to, uh, like I wanted to live my life. I wanted to do all the things that I had ever dreamed of because those had felt like they'd been taken away from me. And I just, I just didn't want to miss out on anything.

• 13:39Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  So, um, that was how I felt the day that I came home. And then, sorry, what was your second question?

• 13:46Ed Mylett?

  Well, how did the broad one, because we're going to get specific to what you teach in a second. But like, how the heck did this turn out so well?

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 13:54Ed Mylett?

  I mean, what, like, was it, was it intensive therapy, prayer? The combination of all of the above? I mean, uh, we're going to go through your steps in a second, but just broadly speaking, it's in, it's unbelievable how seemingly not just normal, but exceptional your life has become.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  I think a lot of it had to do with like the way I was raised. I did grow up in a very loving, like solid, secure family. Like I never doubted as a child, whether or not I was wanted or whether I was loved. Like I always knew that. And I think that really made the difference for me because when I came back, that didn't change. My family still treated me the way that I'd always been treated. And as I look back on what happened, I chose not to go to therapy. Um, after I was rescued because I did not understand what therapy was. Um, in my mind, it was just like, it was going to be going to someone who couldn't possibly understand what I'd been through and rehashing.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  Everything that I've been through and I remember just thinking in my mind, well, why would I wanna do that? I already survived it. Nobody was there beside me while I was going through all that. It would have been nice to talk to someone while I was going through that, but. But I'm not going through that anymore. So why would I wanna talk about it with someone who couldn't possibly understand what it was like while I was there? That was uh my very uneducated. Thoughts around therapy at the time. So I I didn't want to, of course, that scared my parents. Um, they were very worried about me and so they actually went to therapy.

• 15:41Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  Then.

• 15:42Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  And their therapist was like, it's okay. Like, it's okay. She doesn't wanna go to therapy. That's fine. Um, both of you need to make sure that you are in a place that if she ever decides to talk about what happened. You can listen to her and be there for her without crumbling yourselves. So actually, they did go to therapy.

• 16:04Ed Mylett?

  That's so interesting and not not you. Did there become a, this is where I wanted to go, but did there become a time where you did wanna talk about it? Or is that just that time's never arrived? You just dealt with it internally?

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Um, no, I never wanted to talk about it.

• 16:20Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Um, but then when my case finally came to trial.

• 16:25Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  It's. A little bit, I guess, of a longer story. Initially, my parents were told that if I would talk to these two psychiatrists, that they could stand as proxy for me, as witness for me. Uh, in the trial, so probably the day after I was rescued, I went to the Children's Justice Center. I was brought into this room with these two psychiatrists and uh they were, they were men, they were. Roughly the age of my captors, they were um clearly clearly religious, which like that's fine, um like, good for everyone, or like believing whatever they wanna believe in practicing it, being dedicated to it, but

• 17:11Speaker 02

  having come out of a situation where religion was used to justify every kind of torture they did to me. That just was not a very comfortable situation for me and being alone in this room. And then, you know, they did question me extensively. Again, like I'd grown up in a bubble. I had lived an incredibly sheltered life. Uh, I, I mean, you know, my parents didn't just like throw around uh, the words penis, vagina, breasts. I mean, they were your privates. That was how it was compared to. Those are your privates.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  And so all of a sudden having to go in great graphic detail and use those, those words, penis, vagina. That was very uncomfortable and difficult for me. Hmm. Um, and because they were psychiatrists, I thought, oh, this must be what therapy is like. No, thank you. I never want to do this. Um.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  My case really got stuck in the courts. Um. They were, it was always a question of of competence or versus incompetence. Uh, were they competent right now? Could they prove that they were competent when they kidnapped me? Um. They would need to be forced medicate. I mean, it was just like a whole big mess to the point where the statute of limitations actually um, came up. Um, within the state courts. And so then I was approached and asked if I wanted to move my case to the federal courts. And of course I wanted to move my, my case to the federal courts if my captors got out. Like, they would come back after me. I have no doubt they would have come back after me.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  So, uh, my case was then moved to the federal courts. And it was, I mean, the better part of a decade before my case actually made it. Oh, my god.

• 19:10Ed Mylett?

  Oh my gosh.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Um, it was, of course, by then, um, the two psychiatrists, they were no longer allowed to testify for me. I was an adult by then. Um, and so I had to testify myself. And that was the, the interviewing with the prosecution. Preparing for the trial was the first time that I really went into detail about what happened. And, um, on the stand, that I guess was about as public as I had ever been. Um, talking about what happened and

• 19:51Speaker 02

  in that moment, I just felt like all of this, like all of my story, everything that I'm talking about is, um, is coming across like facts, just like bullet points. And this is my life. And it's more than just bullet points. And if I'm going to share like the worst moments of my life, it needs, it needs to be more than just

• 20:15Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  entertainment, or it needs to be more than just a court case. And so that's really when, um, it was after that that we started the Elizabeth Smart Foundation. It was after that that I started publicly speaking and sharing my, sharing my story, um, unfortunately, uh, sexual violence is, is so common, is so high. Like I know without a doubt anytime I speak that I am not the only survivor in the room.

• 20:43Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  So, uh, like whenever I'm invited to speak, um, it doesn't really matter who the audience is because statistically, I'm not the only survivor in there.

• 20:55Ed Mylett?

  It's unbelievable. First off, I did not know that it, that it took a decade. I did know you confronted, uh, you, you know, the, um, Abuser in court.

• 21:07Ed Mylett?

  I think it would surprise most people listening to this right now, Elizabeth, that first off, that they put a little girl one day later in with two dudes that look just like the guy that abducted her. I mean, that's more abuse in my mind. So that's shocking. But the other part is probably pretty surprising, I think you would agree, was that you really didn't talk about it until you were on that stand. That's surprising to people, that you didn't do therapy, that you didn't talk about it. That's, that would be not what most people would, would guess. And I want to talk about the Elizabeth Smart Foundation in a second, but I want to connect it to what you teach, because I want them to understand the value they get from it.

• 21:41Ed Mylett?

  So, hey, guys, I want to jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And, you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life, or how they grow, and also taking a look at the future. If you want to change your future, you've got to change the things you're doing. If you continue to do the same things, you're probably going to produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things, and you're around other people that are growth oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself. And that's why I love Growth Day. Write this down for a second, growthday.com/ed. My friend Brendon Burchard has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life. Everything from goal setting software, to personal accountability, journaling, courses, thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well. I create content in there on Mondays, where I contribute,

• 22:24Ed Mylett?

  as do a whole bunch of other influencers, like the Avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers, or people that want to be high achievers. So go check it out. My friend Brendon's made it very affordable, very easy to get involved. Go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune, and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight, that's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1

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• 23:50Ed Mylett?

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• 24:32Ed Mylett?

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• 24:43Speaker 03

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• 24:45Ed Mylett?

  So any of you that have gone through something, you've heard this term now PTSD, right? And that can be from everything from someone who's a warfighter to someone who's gone through physical abuse, emotional abuse in a relationship. They even attribute that to people like myself who grew up in an alcoholic or drug addicted family. There's, there's again varying degrees. And you talk about post-traumatic growth.

• 25:10Ed Mylett?

  Um, what does that mean? Like, what's it mean to you personally? Post-traumatic growth?

• 25:16Speaker 02

  Um, me, like, if I'm just gonna explain it using my words.

• 25:20Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  Um, it, when going through something really hard, I feel like you, you have a choice to make. Um, I think it's a very, very difficult choice, and I don't think it's just like flicking a switch. It's not like on and off. But basically, you choose, do you allow what's happened to you to crush you? Or do you use that as a propellant to push you forward? And to like, live your life to the fullest, to do something greater than what you ever imagined beforehand? So, me, it's, it's pushing yourself forward. It's not letting it stop you from living your life.

• 26:00Ed Mylett?

  Hmm. I had this thing I say on a lot of my content. I say, you're most qualified in life to help the person you used to be. And I just really believe that. I think God takes us through our darkest and most difficult times. Or even the things we're ashamed of, or embarrassed of, or sins, or mistakes we've made, and wants us to use those things to serve the people that are similar to us, that are, that are like us. One of the things you guys about the foundation, I, I'm like, oh, that's great. She's got a foundation. Everybody's got a foundation. That's cool. She's got a big brand name. But if you actually really look into this foundation, you guys, the work they do is tremendous. Like, it's the real deal. And even how to learn to defend yourself through smart defense, like it's, there's teeth to this. There's actual tangible things you would learn and go through. I would ask you about forgiveness.

• 26:45Ed Mylett?

  And I wonder, do you ever get there, you forgive yourself, forgive them? Um, and what that concept means to you? And does it matter in life?

• 26:57Speaker 02

  So, I think, I, I think forgiveness, maybe my definition's a little different. I don't know. But I, I don't think forgiveness is necessarily like.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  Oh, what you did is okay. Like, it's alright. I mean, at the end of the day, like kidnapping is always gonna be kidnapping, rape is always gonna be rape, like. There and there's no world that exists that I'm ever gonna think kidnapping someone is okay, or raping some is okay.

• 27:29Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  I think forgiveness is really more for me. Um, and I think it's more just the letting go of the anger um, over what happened.

• 27:45Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Or that anything else. I actually think probably forgiveness is is probably the greatest form of self-love that you can have for yourself. Um, because you love yourself enough that you aren't going to let whatever you've experienced ruin the rest of your life. You are like you've felt the anger, you've you've processed it, you've gone through it, but then you're also able to leave it alone and move forward. And to me, that's what forgiveness is. So do I feel like I've forgiven my captors? Yes, but I never want to see them again. I never want to have anything to do with them again.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Oh, I could happily live the rest of my life and never like never think of them or have anything to do with them or see a picture of them ever again. That would be just fine with me.

• 28:39Ed Mylett?

  Hmm, I imagine. That might be one of the most perfectly said things ever uh, said on the show, the way you just described that concept. That was, that was awesome. Here's what I didn't know. I wanted to ask you about it, because you're you've become an expert on this stuff. How does trauma reshape your brain, like literally? Because I know you've done a little bit of looking into this. How does trauma reshape your brain? And then how do you reclaim your power? When you've lost all of it? Like you've just you've got no power in your life, you're powerless completely. Are those two things connected? It's reshaped your brain, so you don't think you're powerful anymore? Like, how's it affect your brain? And how do you get some sense of power back?

• 29:15Speaker 02

  I mean, I think everything's connected. And um, what's really interesting about trauma is that when you go through something very traumatic. Like, if you look at me, I don't have any like physical scars from when I was abducted. Like, I don't have any knife wounds or like, I mean, I was never stabbed with a knife, but the knife was held to my neck. Like, I don't have any scarring on my neck. I don't have. I don't have any like physical markers on my body that would show to you that I went through something traumatic. And probably if you didn't know me at all and you just met me, you wouldn't think that I ever had a hard day in my life. Um.

• 29:56Ed Mylett?

  Um.

• 29:57Speaker 02

  But guess.

• 29:58Ed Mylett?

  Um.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  But if you actually look at the brain, so I went and had a brain scan um in Dr. Amen's clinic.

• 30:06Ed Mylett?

  I love him.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Fall. And there is actually, there are physical markers that show up on your brain. When you've experienced trauma, so it shows up in a diamond pattern and the diamond pattern did show up in my brain. Um, so there are physical markers on your brain left by trauma. So even if you don't have scarring or broken bones or black eyes, um, trauma still leaves its mark. And yes, I I am not the expert he is. I'm not an expert. Um, but my understanding is that, yes, it does very much um, and can affect like how you process things and decisions you make moving forward. Um, that's not to say that you

• 30:51Speaker 02

  are less than or impaired next time. So it just affects you, which makes sense. I mean, all of our experiences affect us. Um, if you had a really bad experience walking home at night in the dark, you might not want to again, like that makes sense, right?

• 31:06Ed Mylett?

  Um.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Um. And so, yes, it does affect us.

• 31:11Ed Mylett?

  This is personal, but I want to know if you don't mind. Because you've not talked about it a lot and I your relationship with your husband is is personal, so I'm not going to go there. Do you flashback? Will you be driving in the car and have a moment? And then if you do, uh, I'll give you why I asked. And my little tiny speck of away, it's not even in the same universe as what you went through. I will flashback sometimes to some pretty difficult moments when I was a little boy. And I really wish I didn't, but I do. I'm wondering if you, in a random moment or a trigger, will flash you back for a second. And if, if it doesn't happen, wonderful. If it does, is there something you do to flip the switch, so to speak, out of that state?

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Well, there's two, two parts to the question or two things that I want to address that you said. One of the things you said, oh, like I don't want into relationship with your husband, but that is actually also something that is very commonly asked, surprisingly enough. Like you were raped, how could you then be intimate with your partner? And that is actually a space that I very much would like to move into in the future with the Smart Foundation, because so many survivors, first of all, I want to establish that sex and healthy intimacy are different. They are not the same thing. And then I want to, like, I want to have the conversation and

• 32:39Speaker 02

  like explore with survivors, how do you move past that? That is a future project I very much want to do. We don't have anything yet, but that is something I feel very passionate about because everyone deserves to have a full life. Everyone deserves to feel loved and adored and taken care of. And they should know that abuse is not like healthy intimacy. And healthy intimacy is not rape. Like, you should be able to have a very clear separation of those two. And so if a survivor has gone through it, like, they deserve to find some love with someone else

• 33:23Speaker 02

  and to feel taken care of. So that is something.

• 33:26Ed Mylett?

  That's major work you'd be doing there. That's tremendous. That's tremendous.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  I very much want to get into.

• 33:33Ed Mylett?

  I love it.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  Do I ever have flashbacks and how do I deal with it? I wouldn't say that I struggle with them a lot. They happen occasionally, but I'm just like, oh, oh, my goodness, like that, that reminds me that, that kind of takes me back. But that's, I guess, when I kind of look at myself and I say, okay, like,

• 34:00Speaker 02

  That does remind me of that. I don't really like that, but like I am here. I am in this moment. I am sitting in my home or my car or my office, like whatever. I'm like, I try to bring myself back to the current moment and then

• 34:18Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  like acknowledge what happened, but be like, okay, that happened. That's a thing. But I'm here. I'm not in that moment anymore.

• 34:26Ed Mylett?

  I'm amazed by you. Like, I hope I I assume everybody listening sort of like me. It's like I'm just processing you. Since you brought your husband up and were allowed to go there, I want to lean into that just for a second. Um, you married an Irishman, didn't you? Am I right about that?

• 34:40Speaker 02

  A Scot.

• 34:41Ed Mylett?

  I am. A Scot. Close. I knew he had the accent. So you married a Scot. I'm curious. Was it difficult initially to trust a man again? Like for me, well, I won't say for me. You you tell us. You tell us. Was it difficult to trust a man again? And and and did it take a long time to establish that?

• 35:01Speaker 02

  Um, I was scared of older men. Um, I was scared of men around the age of my captor. I didn't want to be left alone with them.

• 35:13Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  Um, that was scary to me.

• 35:15Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  But I wasn't scared around like boys my age or men my age as I got older. Um, and I I think for me, it was always very it just felt like there was a difference because I could say no, or I could walk away. Like I wasn't completely helpless or powerless. And I think that made a really big difference for me. If I was asked that on the date, I could say no, if I didn't feel comfortable, or I could uh set boundaries for myself.

• 35:49Ed Mylett?

  Mm hmm.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  Um, and and so it was like the power was

• 35:55Speaker 02

  In me, like I made the choices. It wasn't, I think if I came back home and it was like arran- arranged marriages were a thing and

• 36:04Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Being married off to someone, you know, my dad's age. Uh, and I had no power or no say in anything. I think that would have been, that would have been very difficult to overcome. I don't think I'd be where I am today had that been the scenario. But because everything then coming forward and moving forward with dating and eventually meeting my husband and getting married. Uh, that was all on my terms. Like I always had the option to walk away at any point. I mean, I wasn't chained up. I wasn't forced to be there. It was always an option. And I think for me, that's what made the difference.

• 36:39Ed Mylett?

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• 37:22Ed Mylett?

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• 38:01Ed Mylett?

  You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. In some way, I'm listening to your language. I listen between words to people, right?

• 38:45Ed Mylett?

  And it's almost like you have found, maybe I'm just pointing this out to you, but like, you found simple things most of us take for granted to be grateful for and to have an appreciation for because of what you went through. And I wonder if like, in some bizarre way, that's one of the hidden tiny miniscule little gifts. It's like you are grateful for, maybe more grateful for a loving, kind, gentle man in your life. You know, you're a little bit more grateful for freedom and relationships and family than maybe you would have been had none of that been stripped away from you. Of course, we still would not probably want these things to happen.

• 39:28Ed Mylett?

  I mean, not probably, for sure. But is that sort of true of you? Do you think that's one of your secret sauces, so to speak, is that you find gratitude in things that most of us probably take for granted?

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Probably, but then it's, you know, it's like that old saying, you don't know what you have until you lose it. I mean, I lost it. No, I lost my family. I lost my life for nine months. My life was stolen from me. So do I always remember it? And do I always have like a great altruistic look on my face? No, I'm human. Like, I have bad days and there are days where I'm cranky and not grateful. But I try to remember and I mean, my husband is...

• 40:13Speaker 02

  The exact opposite from the man who kidnapped me. He is kind and he is gentle and he would protect me. He would do anything. He always puts me first. Um, and I always tried to do the same for him. Like, I tried to put him first and you know, I try to be there for him in any way he needs me to be and like we both try to put each other first and I think that's how relationships should be.

• 40:37Ed Mylett?

  I love that. I watched a little thing on the two of you and I'm like, he's a good man. Of course, thought he was Irish and not a Scotsman, but I get credit. It's close. It's close enough. No offense. No, no offense to my Irish or Scott friends. Okay, I'm sorry. Um, by the way, everybody, in case you were wondering, uh, her captor got life and the woman got fifteen, which is bizarre. Sir fifteen, which is bizarre. Um, okay, I want to get into some of the the teeth of things. One thing with the Smart Foundation, there's a smart defense. I brought it up two or three times and I think I want you to talk to well, men and women, but particularly women in this. How important is it, do you think, that people begin to learn to physically defend themselves?

• 41:18Speaker 02

  Well, just to give you a little bit more reference on it, I was on a flight and I'd fallen asleep. I'd been upgraded to first class. I mean, who doesn't love that, especially if you fly a lot? And I was so tired. I sat down on the plane and I just fell asleep. I think I fell asleep before the plane even took off. And um, I woke up as we were starting our descent and it was because the man who was sitting next to me had reached over and he was rubbing my inner thigh.

• 41:46Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  I was so shocked that I froze and I didn't know what to do. Like, I remember just looking at him, waiting for him to apologize or or say, you know, like, I don't know what possible excuse he could give to like justify in that moment. But I was like waiting for him to give it to me and he never did. And I had to physically pick up his hand and take it off me. And um, I reported it to the airline. I reported it to the FBI. Um.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  But. What? Ever being so angry that that had happened to me again, and I'm thinking, you know, like, I've got to be one of the most well-known victims in America. Do I just have a huge billboard across my forehead saying like, easy target? Like, this is not okay. And in that moment, you know, like, you're on a plane and we're on our descent and the airline's like, stay seated, don't stand up. And so I was just like, and I didn't know what to do. And I thought, if I don't know what to do in that moment, and here I am, like Elizabeth Smart, wh- what does anybody else know? It's actually the very rare kind of person

• 42:58Speaker 02

  that actually like responds and fights back or screams. I mean, most people, they freeze. That is just, like, you can sit there and think, well, if that was me in that situation, I would have smacked that guy, or I would have done this, or I would have done that. And that's great. Like, I hope you do. I hope everyone does. But most of us don't. And I think it's because so many of us, particularly women, know you're raised to be polite, you're raised to be kind. You're not really raised to say no. You're not really raised to um really stand firm with your boundaries. And I think that is incredibly dangerous. That's a very dangerous situation when you add predators into the mix.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  But it's great to be kind. It's great to be polite. It, those are, those are good things. But when you, when you have predators in the mix, that is incredibly dangerous and it puts everyone at risk. So when I got off that plane, I was like, I do not want to be that person anymore. Like, I was captured by the night I was kidnapped. No, I just ended up doing exactly what my captor said, and I froze on this plane. Um, when the man was rubbing my leg, like, this is not okay. And so we started Smart Defense, which is a combination of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Krav Maga, just any kind of dirty street you can imagine, but it's also

• 44:27Speaker 02

  very trauma-informed because our director, who she is amazing, like, she's so incredible. She is almost a head shorter than me, but she could kill me with her pinky. Like, she is a badass. Yeah. My friend.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  But yeah, she is amazing because she is also a survivor herself. And um she will be the first to tell you like she could be raped tomorrow, even though she's like that five time world champion in her weight group in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu like she is, you know.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  She's the real deal.

• 45:01Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  So it is very trauma informed and these are skills that we are just trying to give you. These are tools. We are trying to teach you um so that should you ever find yourself in that situation, you do not feel as defenseless as maybe you would otherwise and I think it's so amazing because I've like I've attended the classes and I've been through the program multiple times and like I've held the mats and the pads for the women to strike and I can tell you like a little, a little eleven year old girl like she can kick hard, she can kick really hard and I've held, I've held mats for like nine month pregnant women. Whoa, I would, if I were her husband, I would not want to piss her off like.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  She also packs a wallet like women are so strong and I think it's easy to feel like we're not. I'm like, oh, I don't know how to hit. I don't know how to strike. I don't know how to kick like. I don't know how and I mean. My uh so I got into running marathons for a while and like I trained and trained and trained and trained and trained. Um but if I have a like if I held a race against my husband, like he just beats me. He's just faster than me. That's just unfortunately, the truth. Like he is just faster than me. I could out distance him.

• 46:28Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  But he would be faster than me.

• 46:30Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Um. And I think that that's easy to get into our minds that men are just always stronger than us, more powerful than us. Um if a man attacks you, there's nothing you can do, but that is not true. You are so powerful. You are much stronger than you think you are. Like there are things that you can do and we're not even looking, we're not even training. Like if you pummel the guy or the predator into the ground. Fantastic. I am not going to complain about that. But ultimately what we're trying to give you is are the skills to give you the opportunity to escape.

• 47:06Ed Mylett?

  Exactly.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Into them just enough to get away.

• 47:10Ed Mylett?

  Exactly. That's exactly right. I hope you all heard that. By the way, you men as well, but you ladies, a couple of things will benefit you. One, if you could just learn a couple of these skills that might buy you 30 seconds or 20 seconds to get away. That's number one. But number two, also, just believing that you've got some of these skills and abilities will give you so much less anxiety and fear when you are in situations that, you know, look a little bit sketchy. And so I really recommend you look into this, what Elizabeth's doing there. It's why I brought it up three times. The thing you brought up that I want to ask you about, and we're going to run out of time before I get to everything I want, but I'm loving this. And this is a broader question for everybody, but it comes to you as well. You said, "Hey, I'm sitting here in first-class discussion.

• 47:51Ed Mylett?

  I'm one of the most well-known victims of all time," right? And also, because of that, you have to talk about it still a lot. And one thing people get trapped in is an identity of their trauma or an identity of their former career. "I was a high school quarterback. I was the beauty queen. I was the valedictorian," or "I'm a victim, and I'm going to tell you my story." And then it sort of starts to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you reproduce this victimhood perpetually in your life. I wonder for you how you've navigated that because you are one of the most well-known victims of all time, and to some extent, you're going to talk about it to some extent

• 48:36Ed Mylett?

  forever because it is such a catalyst to helping create change. How have you, or maybe you haven't, maybe you've held on to that as a reminder, but how have you kind of navigated your own identity? Like who Elizabeth Smart is now? She's not a 14-year-old victim anymore. She's a married woman with a beautiful life and an incredible family she's developed and built and makes this huge contribution. Well, how do you do that? How do you change that identity if you did?

• 49:04Speaker 02

  For a long time, I think I actually really struggled with that because I had been the wallflower before I was kidnapped. Like, I was not the popular girl at school. And that was fine. That was fine. Like, I didn't need to be. I was happy just being who I was before. And so coming home, that was a very big change. All of a sudden, having people recognizing me all of the time. I think it was good that it was almost a decade before I started sharing my story and speaking. I'm so grateful.

• 49:40Speaker 02

  To other survivors who approached me and shared their stories with me. Because for the longest time, I felt like I was alone. And I felt like uh I was the only one who had been raped. I was the only one who had been kidnapped. I was the only one who had been forced to go through terrible things because they were not commonly talked about. I didn't hear anyone else coming forward and say, I was raped. I didn't have any friends to say, no, I was, I'm abused at home. Or nobody talked about what the big kinds of things that happened behind closed doors. So I felt very, very alone. So as time went on and I began to meet other survivors.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  I am so grateful to them for letting me know that I was not the only one who had experienced. And now, I mean, they say one in three women, girls, experience sexual sexual abuse in their lifetime. Like, that is a horrific statistic. And I bet it's probably even worse than that because there are so many cases where nobody ever says anything. And whether you consciously know someone who has been abused, um, like they've told you. Whether they've told you or not, you do actually know someone because statistically, it's just, it's impossible. If you know three women, you know someone who's been abused.

• 51:06Ed Mylett?

  That's just, that just blows my mind. You know, you said earlier that when you're talking in a room, that you know that you're not the only one in there. And I'm, it just made me think, you know, I speak all over the world, like I, I never think about that. You know, like someone in this room in the front row, more than likely, if there's three women in the front row have suffered some form of this abuse. And so many of us just go through our lives, you know, people are invisible or we judge or we criticize or we're, we'd. And you don't know someone's story. You know Elizabeth's story, but the vast majority of people, you don't know what they've been through or what they're currently going through. We'd all be a lot better off if we gave each other a little bit more grace and a little bit more love and kindness. It's one of the things I love about the show is I think we do do that for people.

• 51:50Speaker 01

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• 52:21Ed Mylett?

  You know, Elizabeth, I've watched you really close today. You really don't get that emotional when you talk about your situation. And even when you brought up, you know, different situations today. You know where your face has changed twice? And by the way, and when you step into your power, it's almost like the Holy Spirit's all over you when you start to talk, you even speak differently, is when you speak of these other women who are survivors. You light up and you get emotional. Your face changes. And I just wonder, is that just so heavy on your heart? I mean, you definitely shift when you begin to talk about the trauma other people, other women have gone through. I don't see it when you talk about your own as much as I see

• 53:05Ed Mylett?

  it when you talk about other women. And I'm just wondering if, is that just close to your heart all the time? Has it made a huge impact on you as you travel and speak and meet these women? They're not just like, you know, they're real people with real faces and real lives and real children. And I just wonder, does that speak to your heart? Because I can see it on your face.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  Yes. Um, yes. And just the fact that, uh, so many of them suffer in silence or they don't have the support that I've had. They don't, I mean, I don't know if anyone's ever had the support that I've had. Like, my, my word was never questioned. I never had to try to convince someone that I was kidnapped or that I was abused. Like, that was always... No, believed one hundred percent. I mean, sure, there's like the few, you know, there's always.

• 53:52Ed Mylett?

  Wackos, fringe wackos, but yeah, yeah.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  But really, like, my word has never been doubted. And I think I'm so grateful for that. I think that's why I'm where I am today. Um, because I think of the fact that most victims know, know the person who's abusing them. Um, usually it's someone that they're they trust or someone who is close to them. And I just think, you know what, I am so lucky that what happened to me came at the hands of a stranger. Because I don't go to bed at night and I'm not scared who's gonna crawl into bed next to me. Um, I don't come home at the end of the day scared of the situation that I'm going to enter into. I know that if I have a hard day,

• 54:37Speaker 02

  I have a support system at home there for me. I know that if I say something like this happened or this happened, I'm believed, I'm not turned around in question, and I'm not asked, well, why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that? Well, why didn't you say something? Why didn't you report it to the police? Because so many victims are. And when they hear those words, why didn't you? They hear the words you should have. That's how like their brain hears that you should have done more. It's your fault. You should have done something else. So when it's, you know, a family member, um, that makes it extra difficult. Like, how are you expected to move forward with your life? When it's, you know, again, someone who should have protected you, someone who should have loved you, someone who, um,

• 55:19Speaker 02

  definitely should not have been hurting you. And maybe it's divided your family. Maybe some of your family believes you. And maybe some of your family is like, no, no, they would never do that. They're such a good person. We love them. How dare you say that? I mean, how impossible of a situation is that? Or just don't say anything. We'll have a word with them. Don't say anything. This is just gonna go away. How unfair is that? How impossible is that? How is that victim supposed to move forward? How could they ever trust again? I mean, the like, the level of betrayal for just abuse across the board is huge. But if it's by someone that you know, someone that you love, or maybe the people that you love, love, like.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  How, how do you overcome that? And that is what is most common. Like, my story is almost the exception. This is like what's happened. This is what happens, mostly.

• 56:18Ed Mylett?

  Two things. One, you do, you definitely use gratitude about, you do that, I'm right about that, that's part of your map. And the other thing is, I'm just thinking, how extraordinary, how remarkable is it that this little girl, who was completely defenseless and couldn't protect herself, has now become this massive protector of women that are victims, people that are victims. And that she's the protector now. She's the advocate now. She's the one who stands up for them. I want you to all just think about that. Just for a second. Go back, go all the way back to 2002, when this little girl is taken from her family and su- and is suffering unspeakable and immeasurable harm. Totally defenseless, can't protect herself. And now,

• 57:02Ed Mylett?

  flash forward, and she's the protector and the advocate for people just like her. It's extraordinary. It's remarkable how strong you are. And I really, uh, I'm, I, I just met you. I'm proud of you and I love you. I'm just very, I'm just very, I'm in awe of you. I just think it's, I think you're extraordinary. I just need to tell you that, so. Yeah. It's just the truth. It's just the truth. Um, and by the way, all of you, what an example, that if you've gone through something, or you're going through something, that when you get to the other side, how qualified you will be to protect and help people just like you. And it'll be the work of your life. You'll be just like this woman.

• 57:45Ed Mylett?

  She lights up when that topic comes. There's a strength to her and a spirit that shifts when this topic comes up. And that's the one gift from all of this, I imagine, in her life. All right, last question. I want to ask you about kids.

• 58:00Ed Mylett?

  As parents, or aunties, or uncles, or big brother, or big sister, if you were to give any of us advice, I mean, you were taken from your home. I mean, I don't, not a whole lot your family could have done any different. But are there things proactively, us as parents, grandparents, could, that you would recommend we do to? You know, create some level of greater safety for our children, whether that be online or in-person type abuse that people suffer. What would you impart? You're obviously in this world all the time. What would you tell us?

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Love your kids unconditionally and make sure they know it.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Then followed closely by lots of open communication.

• 58:44Ed Mylett?

  Do you do that? I mean, are you an open, you know, communicator with with yours?

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Really, I try. I'm not perfect. I do my best.

• 58:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I think that um your humility is just

• 59:01Ed Mylett?

  takes my breath away. Someone has gone through what you've gone through in your life. I can tell you one thing, I'll give you a compliment. I you're exactly how I hoped you would be. You're kind and strong, but you're um you're on the other side of this in a dramatic way. And you've really used it to be a force for good in the world. And it's exactly what I would have hoped. And I'm really grateful that you were here today. I know when I'm doing an episode, that's like one of the all timers. I just know I've been doing it long enough. I've done about 900 of them. And I know when I'm doing one, that's going to be like echoing, you know, throughout the internet and social media. And this will be one. Thanks to you, Elizabeth. So thank you. What do you want to tell us about the

• 59:44Ed Mylett?

  Smart Foundation that we haven't said? Where can they go to find out more about it? I want to make sure we've talked about it, but where do they go to get some info?

• 59:51Speaker 02

  Yes. First of all, thank you. Thank you for all the words you've said. Elizabeth Smart Foundation. We are online at ElizabethSmartFoundation.org or on social media. You can just type in Elizabeth Smart Foundation. I'm sure it'll pop right up. There are so many things that I want to do. I mean, I feel like what some of the things we've talked about, smart defense, we have more programs, just more than that.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  That's what we mostly talked about today, but to learn more about them, please, please do. Please go to our website. Please check us out. Um, there is so much more I still want to do. And we did talk a little bit about that today, like intimacy versus abuse versus rape. Um, there is so much more I want to do, so please learn. Um, please have conversations in your own homes. Um, please become the kind of person that if anyone disclosed to you that you could sit there and listen to them, that you could sit there and be a support to them and that your first words are, are not. Why didn't you do this? And that your first words instead are, I believe you.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  I'll connect with you. I'm here for you. I love you. Um, those are the kinds of words you should be responding with. And if we're all talking about this and we're all learning about this and we're all paying attention to this and standing up for those around us when we see something suspicious going on, um, think of how much change we could actually create in this world. We could see the statistics drop and wouldn't that be amazing? Wouldn't that be incredible?

• 1:01:32Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, it would be and it'll happen because it thanks to you. This one in three thing I can't get out of my head. I cannot get that out of my head. So I have three sisters and a daughter and so.

• 1:01:47Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I you got me there. Anyway, um, you let me know when we're done. Let me know how I can help. Okay. Let's just, uh, I'm gonna have my producer connect with your team there and we'll, we'll figure out how I can help. Okay. I would like to do that. All right, Elizabeth. Thank you for doing this. Everybody, uh, share this. I mean, share it. Yeah. Share it with anyone who's gone through anything difficult, is going through anything difficult. Anyone who's got children, anyone who's got a family, anybody that you know who may be suffering any type of abuse right now in any form, send this to them, please. All right. God bless you, everybody. Max out.