Ant Gives Dating Advice & Why is Dec in a Car Boot?

It’s another bonus episode, and the boys are in fits of giggles as they dive into your hilarious airmail, all the way from Canada! Ant reminisces about his favourite Byker Grove memories, we find out what Dec was doing in a car boot in 2006, and the boys help one listener pick a HUSBAND… Plus, there are even more wild suggestions for what Dec should do to celebrate one whole year of the pod! As always, keep your correspondence coming to ⁠[email protected]⁠. Sign off your email with the name you’d like us to use. If you’d rather we didn’t mention your surname, simply leave it out. And if you’d like a full-name shout-out, throw the whole thing in there! ---- 00:00 - Intro 00:50 - Toy Rabbit Theft 03:25 - "Dec in the Boot?" 07:10 - Toilet Seat Confessions 09:00 - 1 Year Anniversary 13:40 - Plant Monitor 16:15 - North vs South 18:00 - “Marry Him” 20:30 - Byker Grove Memories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe: The North American Dad. 50s, great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's Fall Drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall Lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  At Zocdoc, we know you care about your health. You wouldn't do that early morning cardio if you didn't. So the fact that your annual physical is overdue just shows how hard it can be to get seen by a doctor.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  Sorry, that doctor's not in network.

• 1:13Speaker 04

  Press 1 for more options. You've reached us outside normal business hours.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  The next availability is in three months.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  But Zocdoc makes finding the right doctor easy. Download the app and search by specialty, insurance and availability. Read real patient reviews, then book instantly. Zocdoc, ready to be seen.

• 1:30Ant McPartlin?

  You watched any Canadian telly?

• 1:32Declan Donnelly?

  Nah.

• 1:33Ant McPartlin?

  I don't know.

• 1:34Declan Donnelly?

  I can't, I can't, I keep clicking through to find something to watch and I can't find it. There's nothing, it's just news. An advert. Welcome back to the Canadian hanging for another Canadian hanging out with him and me. This is our bonus episode, which is all of your letters and correspondence.

• 1:50Ant McPartlin?

  Letters? Why do you say it like that? Is that Canadian?

• 1:53Declan Donnelly?

  I got some letters.

• 1:54Ant McPartlin?

  Get your letters.

• 1:54Declan Donnelly?

  Not postbag over here?

• 1:55Ant McPartlin?

  No, you reached around, you did a reach around.

• 1:57Declan Donnelly?

  The old reach around. Why do you weren't looking? Let's have a look. Oh, look, we've got loads of, loads of mail in a day, man.

• 2:05Ant McPartlin?

  Deck, deck, deck. Why is it all deck? Oh, there you go. And, and, and.

• 2:10Declan Donnelly?

  Deck, deck, deck.

• 2:11Ant McPartlin?

  Deck, lots for deck this week.

• 2:13Declan Donnelly?

  Woo, because it's my birthday.

• 2:14Ant McPartlin?

  You start.

• 2:18Declan Donnelly?

  Hi guys, love the pod. After Deck's grand robbery of M&S, I thought I'd share my son's own heinous crimes.

• 2:24Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, please do.

• 2:25Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, Nick. During one of the many heatwaves this summer, my partner took our one-year-old to Ikea during the day to keep cool. That's a good idea.

• 2:35Ant McPartlin?

  That's a very good idea.

• 2:36Declan Donnelly?

  Get in the aircon. Whilst walking around, she gave him a toy rabbit to keep him entertained. He fell asleep and the rabbit was all forgotten about. It was only after we got home that he was still cuddling the rabbit that my partner realised they had not paid for it.

• 2:48Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 2:50Declan Donnelly?

  That evening, I suggested we return to the scene of the crime to have tea, as it was still far too warm at home.

• 2:57Declan Donnelly?

  And of course, to pay for the stolen rabbit. After we'd eaten and walked through Ikea, we again went home without paying for the rabbit.

• 3:04Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 3:04Declan Donnelly?

  So we still have the rabbit and we are now actively avoiding Ikea in case security have added my son to the banned entry list. To make matters worse, a few weeks later, my dad took my son out to the markets and he was wandering through when a lady approached him and said, do you know he's got a carrot in his hand?

• 3:21Declan Donnelly?

  Safe to say, my dad was not aware.

• 3:23Ant McPartlin?

  It's smart as a carrot.

• 3:25Declan Donnelly?

  Safe to say, my dad wasn't aware he'd picked up the carrot. I can only assume he was picking up the carrots to feed the previously stolen rabbit. I'm hoping he hasn't started a life of crime, but two separate thefts at his tender age does not fill me with hope.

• 3:40Ant McPartlin?

  No, I agree.

• 3:41Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys. That's from Nick in Manchester.

• 3:43Ant McPartlin?

  That's like the origin story of a baddie.

• 3:45Declan Donnelly?

  It is, yeah.

• 3:46Ant McPartlin?

  In a comic book.

• 3:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 3:47Ant McPartlin?

  Real baddie thief.

• 3:49Declan Donnelly?

  And ironic that his dad's called Nick.

• 3:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, very ironic.

• 3:53Ant McPartlin?

  So my youngest daughter's going to uni this September, so we had to do the Ikea shop.

• 3:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 3:58Ant McPartlin?

  And you can't get around Ikea quickly.

• 4:01Declan Donnelly?

  No, there's no way.

• 4:01Ant McPartlin?

  So we got there late, right? And they said, we shut at nine o'clock, but you've got to be, you've got to be in the queue paying at eight forty-five. We're like, that's an hour and five minutes? Right, quickly. So we tried to get round. You can't, you can't get round the first bit, you know, when they've got all like the apartments and living rooms selling and the kitchens.

• 4:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 4:20Ant McPartlin?

  Can't get round that quickly?

• 4:21Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 4:21Ant McPartlin?

  And there's people dawdling around, looking at things. You've got your big trolley like this, you're trying to push through their legs. It's really hard. We're like throwing things. It was like a trolley dash at the end, where you're just throwing pots and pans. I don't think anything goes. You can't get around there quick.

• 4:33Declan Donnelly?

  I lost the current Mrs. Donnelly in Ikea once.

• 4:35Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 4:36Declan Donnelly?

  And losing somebody in Ikea, you're like, do I have to, do I go back? Do I go forwards?

• 4:39Ant McPartlin?

  Where, where do you, where do you meet them?

• 4:41Declan Donnelly?

  Where do you meet?

• 4:42Ant McPartlin?

  Near the hot dogs. Was she at the hot dog stand?

• 4:44Declan Donnelly?

  No, no. But I went to the hot dog stand.

• 4:47Ant McPartlin?

  And that's where she knew where to find you.

• 4:49Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, exactly.

• 4:49Ant McPartlin?

  With a hot dog in his mouth. Hello, Deck and the hecklers.

• 4:54Declan Donnelly?

  Hey.

• 4:54Ant McPartlin?

  Hand emoji, hand emoji. OG fan here from day one, so nice to finally be in your ears.

• 5:00Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 5:02Ant McPartlin?

  Now I've held on to a bizarre childhood memory for years and since you lot finally have a podcast, I can finally get some answers.

• 5:08Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 5:09Ant McPartlin?

  Picture the scene. I was about eight or 10 years old. Well, what was it? Eight or 10, come on. So roughly 2006.

• 5:17Declan Donnelly?

  Definitely wasn't nine.

• 5:22Declan Donnelly?

  I was eight or 10.

• 5:24Ant McPartlin?

  Or 10, yeah, that's a two-year gap.

• 5:26Declan Donnelly?

  She wasn't nine, that's important.

• 5:28Ant McPartlin?

  My grandad was driving us, waiting by the side of the old Newcastle bowling alley on the West Road in the, in the West End.

• 5:35Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:35Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, I used to go bowling there.

• 5:36Declan Donnelly?

  I used to go bowling there.

• 5:37Ant McPartlin?

  To let us out. Suddenly we spot a car and the boot pops open. And Deck casually steps out the back like he's auditioning for the Godfather. While Ant just climbs out of the front passenger seat like he owned the place.

• 5:55Ant McPartlin?

  Do you remember heading to an event there and instead of taking a sensible mode of transport like a taxi or the backseat, Deck decided the boot was the safest option? I need to know, was Deck in car boot jail? Was legroom that tight? Or is it just a classic mid 2000s Geordie Saturday night out? How are you with the answers, lads? Samantha in Newcastle, why I up the mags?

• 6:20Declan Donnelly?

  I have no recollection of getting out of the boot at the bowling alley on the West Road.

• 6:26Ant McPartlin?

  In Newcastle.

• 6:26Declan Donnelly?

  In Newcastle. Getting out of the boot.

• 6:30Ant McPartlin?

  Well, there must have been more people in the back. And you might have said, I can't fit in the back, so I'll get in the boot.

• 6:35Declan Donnelly?

  I would never have said that.

• 6:38Ant McPartlin?

  I might have said, get in the boot. Yeah, I probably would have got in the boot more than you.

• 6:43Declan Donnelly?

  And you were in the passenger seat and I got out of the boot?

• 6:46Ant McPartlin?

  I got out the passenger seat like I owned the place. And you got out of the boot like you were auditioning for the Godfather?

• 6:54Ant McPartlin?

  How can you get out of a boot like you're, like you're a dead body?

• 6:57Declan Donnelly?

  Do you remember about a girl filming at the bowling alley? I think we might have done, you know?

• 7:01Ant McPartlin?

  But if we did, they wouldn't have put you in the boot. Because this was a TV production, they wouldn't be allowed to.

• 7:06Declan Donnelly?

  You don't, you're not allowed to put children in the boot. Samantha, are you sure your eight or 10-year-old eyes weren't deceiving you? Did I really get out of the boot?

• 7:15Ant McPartlin?

  She must have, you must have done.

• 7:16Declan Donnelly?

  I must have done. I can't give you an explanation, Samantha, I'm afraid.

• 7:20Ant McPartlin?

  To be fair though, health and safety in that was a bit more relaxed back in the mid 2000s, wasn't it? So.

• 7:27Declan Donnelly?

  Well, this would, this would have been, how old, do you know when this was?

• 7:30Ant McPartlin?

  2006.

• 7:32Declan Donnelly?

  This was in 2006?

• 7:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 7:33Declan Donnelly?

  I was still getting on the boot in 2006?

• 7:37Declan Donnelly?

  I was 30 years old.

• 7:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:40Declan Donnelly?

  What were we doing at the West Road bowling alley in 2006?

• 7:43Ant McPartlin?

  Maybe we weren't going there because there's pubs over the other side of the road. Maybe we went to the pub. Oh, sorry.

• 7:48Declan Donnelly?

  Hang on, just ask them if they know what we were doing in 2006.

• 7:51Ant McPartlin?

  Hello? Do you know if Deck got in the boot in 2006? Sounds like something you would do. Yeah, we thought so. I'd buy.

• 8:02Declan Donnelly?

  2006, though, in the boot?

• 8:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 8:05Declan Donnelly?

  20 years ago.

• 8:06Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I reckon we're, we might have been going for a drink on a night out and we called a taxi, right? And the taxi guy says, not far down here, you can't have a phone in the back. One of you needs to get in the boot. And you've gone, I'll get in the boot because I'm the smallest.

• 8:21Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not having that.

• 8:21Ant McPartlin?

  I am. Samantha, you're absolutely right. Deck wasn't getting in the car.

• 8:27Ant McPartlin?

  He's not having it.

• 8:29Declan Donnelly?

  I've got one here.

• 8:33Ant McPartlin?

  Look at the tiny little finger. Look at that.

• 8:40Declan Donnelly?

  This is from Laura.

• 8:42Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Laura.

• 8:43Declan Donnelly?

  Hi guys.

• 8:43Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 8:44Declan Donnelly?

  Following Deck's theft admission, I'd like to confess to inadvertently stealing a toilet seat from Asda.

• 8:53Ant McPartlin?

  That's a big thing to inadvertently steal.

• 8:56Declan Donnelly?

  I'd popped it between my legs to hold whilst I put other things onto the conveyor belt, then paid and didn't scan it. Realised as I got into the car, but couldn't bring myself to go back. A toilet seat.

• 9:08Ant McPartlin?

  She's taking the.

• 9:10Declan Donnelly?

  Hey. That's quite a big thing to forget to pay for. So was it still between her knees? Well, she was bleeding all the stuff.

• 9:18Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's the thing, isn't it? Like she must have got her bags and then as you pick your bag up, you would have to have taken it from between your legs. But mind you, you might have just been in the, in the headspace of just, I'm getting to the car now. So you don't think of it. So it must have memory. You just pick it up and put it on your arm.

• 9:34Declan Donnelly?

  That's like what I did. It's just, it was all in the bag. Bleak me card.

• 9:38Ant McPartlin?

  That's it. It must have memory. Just walked off. So is she saying this, does she, what is she, she's confessing? She's got to get it off her chest.

• 9:44Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. She's got to get it off her chest. She's got to confess.

• 9:46Ant McPartlin?

  We should do more confessions because I do like, I do like confessions. We used to do confessions a lot on Saturday night takeaway.

• 9:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we did.

• 9:52Ant McPartlin?

  And I think this is a nice, safe space to get things off your chest, clear the air.

• 9:58Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 9:58Ant McPartlin?

  We don't have to say your name.

• 9:59Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 10:00Ant McPartlin?

  We can disguise your voice like we do on Tricks of the Trade. So if you, if you want to film yourself, we'd pixelate your face like they do in Crime Stop Us.

• 10:09Declan Donnelly?

  Anything you want to get off your chest, this is a safe space.

• 10:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 10:11Declan Donnelly?

  No questions, no judgment.

• 10:13Ant McPartlin?

  No judgment. We'll, we'll just laugh about it.

• 10:15Declan Donnelly?

  And absolve you of your sins.

• 10:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 10:16Declan Donnelly?

  We don't have the power to do that, but we'll give it a go.

• 10:19Ant McPartlin?

  We will try. We'll try. If, if we're good enough for you, then send it in. Send in your confession. Right. Another one here. Hi all.

• 10:29Declan Donnelly?

  Hi. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey buddy.

• 10:32Ant McPartlin?

  Hey buddy. I thought Deck could do, oh, this is all about the one year celebrations to celebrate the year, what you could do. What I could do. Still haven't agreed to anything yet, have you?

• 10:43Declan Donnelly?

  I thought I was dancing a jig while Joel Domme got waxed.

• 10:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, you are doing that, but other things, other more permanent things. I thought Deck could do wing walking to commemorate one year of the podcast. It would be a great experience for him. It would be a great experience for you.

• 11:01Declan Donnelly?

  Sure it is.

• 11:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. But even better for us to watch him do it. It's good to get out of your comfort zone, Deck. And he may even meet a few pigeons up there that will cheer him up. Respect, guys. Yarna Dunford. That's not a bad idea. And we, again, we can film it, put it on our YouTube channel, hanging out on the road, life on the road, eh?

• 11:22Declan Donnelly?

  Life on the road, eh?

• 11:23Ant McPartlin?

  And then you do a wing walk. You don't actually walk across the wings. Have you seen it done?

• 11:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, just get strapped to it.

• 11:27Ant McPartlin?

  You stand, you get strapped and then they take off and you fly around with goggles on.

• 11:30Declan Donnelly?

  Old people do it.

• 11:32Ant McPartlin?

  Well.

• 11:35Ant McPartlin?

  Fifty one now, right? Yeah. Uh huh. In some people's eyes, you're ancient. Another one?

• 11:41Declan Donnelly?

  Go on. Another suggestion.

• 11:42Ant McPartlin?

  By Spotify, Sophie said Deck could get, you might like this, you might not, but I don't know. I know you. I don't know.

• 11:51Declan Donnelly?

  A massage.

• 11:52Ant McPartlin?

  I don't know if I'd know you this well. Deck could get his head shaved.

• 12:00Ant McPartlin?

  Absolutely not on your level, love. Deck could get his head shaved for one year anniversary of the pod. Alternatively, I remember Ant had a forfeit for losing Ant versus Deck on Saturday night takeaway one year, where he had to post every month, yes.

• 12:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:14Ant McPartlin?

  On social media praising Deck. So maybe Deck should do something like that for the anniversary.

• 12:20Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 12:20Ant McPartlin?

  I think that's a very good idea.

• 12:22Declan Donnelly?

  That's a terrible idea.

• 12:23Ant McPartlin?

  Why is it terrible?

• 12:24Declan Donnelly?

  Post praising you every month because you wished one year of the pod?

• 12:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 12:27Declan Donnelly?

  I'd rather quit after 11 months.

• 12:29Ant McPartlin?

  So, so far we've got Joel Domme getting waxed while you doing Irish dance.

• 12:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:33Ant McPartlin?

  In the tap shoes.

• 12:34Declan Donnelly?

  That's my favourite.

• 12:35Ant McPartlin?

  And getting your ears pierced.

• 12:38Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not getting my ears pierced.

• 12:39Ant McPartlin?

  You are, aren't you?

• 12:40Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 12:41Ant McPartlin?

  You said yes to that?

• 12:41Declan Donnelly?

  I did not.

• 12:42Ant McPartlin?

  Didn't he? He said yes, didn't he?

• 12:43Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't.

• 12:44Ant McPartlin?

  You said yes?

• 12:44Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't.

• 12:45Ant McPartlin?

  But you'd have to stay still while we're piercing you. You can't be dancing the jig while you're getting your ears pierced. Okay?

• 12:51Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not getting my ears pierced.

• 12:52Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I keep your suggestions coming in though, hanging out at beltabox.com for a one year celebration. Cause we need to think of something big, something permanent, something, something that we'll actually agree to.

• 13:05Declan Donnelly?

  This next section is sponsored by Gemini, Google's AI app.

• 13:09Ant McPartlin?

  So we know we talked about glasses?

• 13:10Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 13:11Ant McPartlin?

  And I ended up buying women's glasses and then the red glasses. I didn't know what, I don't know what glasses suit my face.

• 13:16Declan Donnelly?

  And you're just buying ones and hoping they suit.

• 13:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 13:18Declan Donnelly?

  There is definitely a more efficient way of doing it. Gemini can definitely help with that. Just hold still for a minute.

• 13:23Ant McPartlin?

  Nice pink phone.

• 13:25Declan Donnelly?

  Right. Here we go. Got it.

• 13:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 13:28Declan Donnelly?

  Based on Ant's face shape.

• 13:31Ant McPartlin?

  Handsome.

• 13:32Declan Donnelly?

  Tell us what style of glasses suit him best.

• 13:36Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 13:37Declan Donnelly?

  Because oval faces are naturally balanced, he can pull off almost any style. But, but.

• 13:43Ant McPartlin?

  There's a but.

• 13:44Declan Donnelly?

  There is a but.

• 13:44Ant McPartlin?

  Big but.

• 13:45Declan Donnelly?

  A few specific frames will work best.

• 13:48Ant McPartlin?

  Go on.

• 13:48Declan Donnelly?

  On camera, which is what he's really bothered about.

• 13:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is. Yeah.

• 13:52Declan Donnelly?

  Right. Gemini says best styles for Ant. Square or rectangular frames.

• 13:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 13:58Declan Donnelly?

  These introduce structured horizontal lines and sharp angles, providing a flattering contrast to his softer chin and cheek contour.

• 14:05Ant McPartlin?

  I don't have a soft chin.

• 14:06Declan Donnelly?

  That's what Gemini says. Medium depth frames. Frames with a balanced vertical height fill the middle portion of his face proportionately without drawing attention towards the forehead or dragging down the cheeks.

• 14:18Ant McPartlin?

  Why, why did you have to mention the forehead?

• 14:20Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't mention it. Gemini did. Have you thought about colours?

• 14:24Ant McPartlin?

  Well, not red, more like.

• 14:25Declan Donnelly?

  Definitely not red.

• 14:26Ant McPartlin?

  More like a dark frame, tortoiseshell.

• 14:29Declan Donnelly?

  Like a tortoiseshell like these?

• 14:31Ant McPartlin?

  Pretty much. I just have no glasses.

• 14:35Declan Donnelly?

  Tortoise, so dark frames.

• 14:36Ant McPartlin?

  Dark frames.

• 14:36Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. And give me links for them.

• 14:41Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, good idea. You know me, I love clicking to buy something. Yeah, my spending bans all that.

• 14:47Declan Donnelly?

  Right. Gemini says here are three popular high street brands available to shop now.

• 14:53Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. Send me the link, please.

• 14:55Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, I'll send that over to you.

• 14:56Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. I love that. And download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone. Check responses, set up required compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

• 15:10Declan Donnelly?

  This is from Rebecca in Sunderland.

• 15:14Ant McPartlin?

  True.

• 15:15Declan Donnelly?

  Hi Ant and Deck. As a long-term Ant and Deck fan, I was delighted to find an old Deck badge when I was cleaning out my garage recently. This was bought at Sunderland Empire when I was, when I was around eight years old, eight or 10. So 1993 or around then at a PJ and Duncan concert. I remember playing Sunderland Empire.

• 15:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we did.

• 15:36Declan Donnelly?

  Around at the beginning. I showed my husband, who said the picture is just of a random man that I've kept for decades and no way looks like Deck. And that eight year old me was scammed.

• 15:47Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 15:48Declan Donnelly?

  My friend Jennifer has the same badge bought at the same concert, sorry Ant, that she kept under the pillow and believes is definitely Deck. Attached is the picture of my badge alongside a badge from my job as a pupil in primary school. Can you please say if this is you or was she scammed?

• 16:07Ant McPartlin?

  What, what? Attached is a picture of my badge and a picture of my badge as a pupil as my job in primary school. Her job is being a pupil at a primary school.

• 16:15Declan Donnelly?

  Alongside a badge from the job she had at primary school.

• 16:18Ant McPartlin?

  It'd make more sense, I think, going through the iPad and looking at the photo. Cause I'm confused.

• 16:23Declan Donnelly?

  Let's see if it's me.

• 16:25Ant McPartlin?

  Plant monitor.

• 16:26Declan Donnelly?

  That was her job.

• 16:27Ant McPartlin?

  That was her job.

• 16:28Declan Donnelly?

  Right. I said milk monitor.

• 16:29Ant McPartlin?

  I get it.

• 16:30Declan Donnelly?

  Plant monitor. That's good. So she had to water the plant.

• 16:32Ant McPartlin?

  So is that her?

• 16:33Declan Donnelly?

  No, that's me.

• 16:35Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 16:35Declan Donnelly?

  That's supposedly me. Is that me?

• 16:38Ant McPartlin?

  That is you. Oh, is it? Is it?

• 16:44Ant McPartlin?

  That is you. That's you. That's you.

• 16:49Declan Donnelly?

  Bless you.

• 16:51Ant McPartlin?

  Do you not think it's you?

• 16:51Declan Donnelly?

  It is me. That is definitely me.

• 16:54Ant McPartlin?

  So then do we have a picture of her?

• 16:55Declan Donnelly?

  No, we just got a picture of her plant monitor badge.

• 16:58Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 17:00Declan Donnelly?

  Cause she found these two badges together.

• 17:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but why is the plant monitor badge involved? I don't get it. Who cares?

• 17:11Declan Donnelly?

  She's, it's just, it's just a bit of a.

• 17:17Ant McPartlin?

  Who cares? Like, you had a job at school anyway, eh?

• 17:19Declan Donnelly?

  It's a humble brag. It's a, it's a bit of a flex.

• 17:23Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 17:25Ant McPartlin?

  It's a plant monitor flex.

• 17:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that is definitely me.

• 17:28Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, God. I do like letters. We should just make all the bonus episode letters.

• 17:34Declan Donnelly?

  Good, isn't it?

• 17:34Ant McPartlin?

  Still got them, love. And Canada. How did they do it, these posties? They're very good over here. And they've got to travel over the Rockies to get away.

• 17:40Declan Donnelly?

  Ruggies.

• 17:41Ant McPartlin?

  Plant monitor. Whoa, what is that again?

• 17:45Declan Donnelly?

  Who's it from?

• 17:47Ant McPartlin?

  Hi. Following the soy soggy, sorry debacle.

• 17:53Ant McPartlin?

  Soy sauce?

• 17:53Declan Donnelly?

  Soy, sorry.

• 17:54Ant McPartlin?

  I have my own north, west and south accent disaster to add to the pile.

• 17:58Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 17:59Ant McPartlin?

  I'm from Barnsley. And when I started Udi, I encountered southerners for the first time.

• 18:04Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:05Ant McPartlin?

  Tricky, eh? I asked one girl where she was from and she said, sorry. I repeated, where are you from? Again, she said, sorry. I was beginning to think there was something wrong with her hearing. So I shouted, where are you from? Eventually, I started getting annoyed, thinking she was making the point that she didn't understand my accent. So I was becoming louder and more irate. Eventually, I walked off in a huff.

• 18:28Declan Donnelly?

  As you would.

• 18:28Ant McPartlin?

  Turns out she was just saying Surrey.

• 18:30Declan Donnelly?

  She's from Surrey?

• 18:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, in a botched accent. And I thought I was absolutely insane. Needless to say, we didn't hit it off.

• 18:37Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 18:37Ant McPartlin?

  And she avoided me for three years. I was on the course.

• 18:40Declan Donnelly?

  And now they're married?

• 18:41Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, no.

• 18:42Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, no. I thought there was a happy ending to this.

• 18:46Ant McPartlin?

  No. I'll advance south now, though. And every time anyone mentions Surrey, I get a flashback to my blind confusion and rage. Respect, guys. Shaun.

• 18:56Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, Shaun.

• 18:57Ant McPartlin?

  Very good.

• 18:57Declan Donnelly?

  Very understandable, though, as well. Very understandable.

• 19:00Ant McPartlin?

  When you met people from other parts of the UK, is there any words that you're like, what?

• 19:04Declan Donnelly?

  I remember when we first came to London and we were in the hotel bar. And we went to get a drink and they asked you what you wanted and you went, can I have a Coke? And they went, what? You went, a Coke. And the guy went off and brought back a Coke from a wine bottle.

• 19:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he did. He did.

• 19:24Declan Donnelly?

  A Coke. Do you remember that?

• 19:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. Very good crisps in that bar, if I remember.

• 19:29Declan Donnelly?

  Good crisps. Very good crisps.

• 19:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's good. Good letter.

• 19:34Declan Donnelly?

  I've got one here from Michelle. Hi, and, and Dec and heckler divas.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Oh, hey.

• 19:42Ant McPartlin?

  Hey.

• 19:43Declan Donnelly?

  I recently decided to dip my toe back into the dating world. As a lifelong fan of you both, thank you, Michelle. I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who didn't like Ant and Dec.

• 19:54Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's a nice thing to hear.

• 19:55Declan Donnelly?

  That's, it's a good barometer, that. So naturally, I decided to put this to the test. For those who are unfamiliar with Hinge, like yourself, you create a dating profile and answer questions called prompts to give potential matches an insight into your personality. One of my prompts is, let's make sure we're on the same page about Ant and Dec.

• 20:14Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 20:15Declan Donnelly?

  Well.

• 20:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 20:17Declan Donnelly?

  I've gathered some interesting responses from men. So I've ranked them from best to worst for your consideration. First one, they are sexy and nice. Michelle says she matched with him for this one.

• 20:29Ant McPartlin?

  That's good.

• 20:29Declan Donnelly?

  That was very good.

• 20:30Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. Very good. Listens to the pod.

• 20:32Declan Donnelly?

  Listens to the pod, gets it.

• 20:33Ant McPartlin?

  Get married. Get married. Marry him.

• 20:35Declan Donnelly?

  Second one, bring back Saturday Night Takeaway.

• 20:39Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, good.

• 20:40Declan Donnelly?

  Michelle says, agreed.

• 20:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 20:41Declan Donnelly?

  Please, boys.

• 20:42Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, right, yeah. Marry him.

• 20:43Declan Donnelly?

  No one does it like them.

• 20:45Ant McPartlin?

  Marry him also.

• 20:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that's, that's the same guy.

• 20:47Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, yeah, marry him twice. Renew your virus.

• 20:50Declan Donnelly?

  Here's the next one. I'm still gutted Gary Lineker destroyed their NTA streak. Justice for Ant and Dec.

• 20:58Declan Donnelly?

  That's good.

• 20:59Ant McPartlin?

  That is good.

• 21:00Declan Donnelly?

  And then we slide down the scale a little bit.

• 21:02Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, okay.

• 21:03Declan Donnelly?

  This is just one word. Overrated.

• 21:07Ant McPartlin?

  Overrated?

• 21:08Declan Donnelly?

  Overrated. I don't know.

• 21:10Ant McPartlin?

  Who rates them? Like, I don't get, it's not overrated. We're not a movie.

• 21:15Declan Donnelly?

  And finally, I'm waiting for one of them to die so I can figure out which one is which. He was instantly blocked.

• 21:22Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, my God.

• 21:25Declan Donnelly?

  That's quite an extreme way of finding out which one's which.

• 21:27Ant McPartlin?

  Just Google it.

• 21:28Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. It's not hard.

• 21:30Ant McPartlin?

  I'm waiting for one of them to die.

• 21:31Declan Donnelly?

  We always stand the right way around.

• 21:32Ant McPartlin?

  That's so dark.

• 21:34Declan Donnelly?

  That is very dark. Anyway, thank you for becoming my dating compatibility test. Love you both. Respect, guys. From Michelle.

• 21:40Ant McPartlin?

  Love you too, Michelle. So any one of the first two, I think you should marry. Yeah?

• 21:44Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 21:45Ant McPartlin?

  It's a good barometer, though. You're right. It's a good, it's a good prompt.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  The guy who said sexy and nice is gonna now listen to this, maybe.

• 21:52Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  He'll realise he's been.

• 21:54Declan Donnelly?

  Hey, sexy and nice guy.

• 21:55Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Hey, sexy and nice prompt guy. Hi.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  Get in touch.

• 21:59Declan Donnelly?

  You're top of the list.

• 22:00Ant McPartlin?

  Get in touch. Call me. Final letter with what has been a very enjoyable.

• 22:05Declan Donnelly?

  I've got one more after you.

• 22:05Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah. Well, my final letter. Hi, Ant and Dec. Last year, my mum realised that Byker Grove was on ITVX.

• 22:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 22:13Ant McPartlin?

  And asked if I wanted to watch it with her. I reluctantly watched it, not knowing what it would be like. But now I'm obsessed. We are now nine series in and me and my mum have really bonded over watching it together. That's nice. I do have a few questions, though.

• 22:29Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 22:29Ant McPartlin?

  What were your favourite memories from filming it? Oh, I thought they'd be like, storyline questions. Yes. But the memories, I think, for me, were the people and the other cast members. We made such good friends and we were just such a brilliant little gang together, weren't we?

• 22:48Declan Donnelly?

  It was our first introduction into an adult life because you had to turn up on time, you had to know your lines, you know, you had a job to do. So it was, it was a proper job. It taught us so much. Taught us so much discipline and responsibility. All of the adults, though, who worked on it were fantastic. All of our chaperones and all of the team treated you like an adult. And, and, yeah, we, we had the most amazing time.

• 23:08Ant McPartlin?

  Loved it. Who were your favourite characters besides your own?

• 23:12Declan Donnelly?

  Speedy.

• 23:13Ant McPartlin?

  Speedy. Spuggy?

• 23:15Declan Donnelly?

  Spuggy.

• 23:15Ant McPartlin?

  Debbie Dobson?

• 23:16Declan Donnelly?

  Fraser.

• 23:17Ant McPartlin?

  Fraser.

• 23:18Declan Donnelly?

  Quizzle, Laser, Fraser. Everybody from our era.

• 23:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, everyone from our little gang. We loved.

• 23:25Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's a nice letter.

• 23:26Ant McPartlin?

  How was it from? Let me, Lily.

• 23:28Declan Donnelly?

  Lily. I'm glad you're enjoying the show.

• 23:30Ant McPartlin?

  And you know what's nice? That you and your mum bond over a TV show. I think there's nothing better. I love it when I sit and watch programmes with my girls and we both, we all, three of us get into it. I love it. Love it, love it, love it. Right, that's all we've got time for.

• 23:42Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks for all your letters. It really is all we've got time for because we're being shouted at through the door that we have to go because we do more filming here in Canada. So I'm gonna leave this letter.

• 23:49Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, we've got another job. Big job in Canada, haven't we?

• 23:51Declan Donnelly?

  We're needed on set, so we're gonna go back. Thank you for all of your letters. Keep them coming to us. Hanging out at beltabox.com and we will answer them. And through the broadcast channel.

• 24:01Ant McPartlin?

  Questions?

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  Please join the broadcast channel and give us questions.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  We'll be putting in lots of prompts there so that you can get involved.

• 24:07Declan Donnelly?

  Great. Amazing.

• 24:08Ant McPartlin?

  Um, yeah. And he let us, Ant, Canada seems to get it.

• 24:12Declan Donnelly?

  That's it? We'd better go and get on set.

• 24:15Ant McPartlin?

  Come on.

• 24:15Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks for your company today. We'll see you next time.

• 24:17Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys.

• 24:18Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys. Bye, bye. Well, come here. Come here.

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