Wake Me For Food

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week, Brooke and Connor talk about in-flight etiquette and Brooke’s scratch cornea. Plus, Connor preps for his big adventure across the pond and Brooke celebrates Wicked week with Jeff Goldblum’s press interviews! Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Stay hydrated through the holidays and get 20% off your first order of Liquid I. V. at https://liquidiv.com with code BANDC at checkout. Give a gift that will be remembered forever, and save $10 on your first purchase at https://StoryWorth.com/bandc. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self. Go to https://Quince.com/bandc for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 You UGGly 1:01 Intro 1:21 Going Across The Pond 3:11 Mouthful of Panties 6:03 Happy Wicked Week! 6:58 Preparing For High T(ea) 9:19 Wake Me For Food 10:10 Pooping On Planes 11:58 LiquidIV 13:49 Connor’s Flight Meals 17:02 The Balsamic Vinegar Debate 19:45 Farmer’s Market Breakthrough 23:29 Storyworth 25:13 Brooke’s Cornea 28:33 Hey Can We Talk? 30:00 People’s Sexiest Man 2024 32:38 Cute Runny Noses 33:54 Jeff Goldblum Is Kooky 35:14 BetterHelp 36:38 Influencer Accents 39:27 Cann Jokes 41:05 Connor’s Broken TV Experience 44:20 Brooke’s Book Update 48:41 Quince 50:51 Smoking Ashes 52:28 Florida Man 57:34 Functional Freeze 1:00:04 Jonathan’s Struggles 1:02:31 Connor’s Man On The Street Interview 1:04:28 Teleportion Coming Soon 1:06:13 Getting Upgraded!! 1:08:55 Comfort Shows 1:09:40 Get Connor His Plaque!!! 1:11:19 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Connor Wood?

  You. Gigi. Uggs. Uggs.

• 1:04Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, I thought you were about to do like, you ugly. Yeah, yeah, you ugly. I was like, why?

• 1:10Connor Wood?

  Wait, we're ugly.

• 1:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, ugly, but not ugly.

• 1:15Connor Wood?

  Ugly could be, you're full of, you're overflowing with ugg.

• 1:19Brooke Averick?

  Like, no offense, you're fugly.

• 1:21Connor Wood?

  Hey, you're a bitch. What are you talking about? Oh, fake ugg.

• 1:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:25Connor Wood?

  Okay. Uh, yeah. There's nothing wrong with that.

• 1:29Brooke Averick?

  I don't know if I feel that way.

• 1:30Connor Wood?

  We have this conversation every year. I feel like last, I feel like last year when I, when I put on my ugg's, you were like, pretty supportive of the fact that not everything needs to be name-brand.

• 1:40Brooke Averick?

  I agree with that wholeheartedly. I just like, I think what I'm, I feel like they should be platform.

• 1:46Connor Wood?

  Men's ugg's as platforms?

• 1:50Brooke Averick?

  I think non-platform things look weird now.

• 1:55Connor Wood?

  I'm seeing you and I'm hearing you, but I'm not standing with you.

• 1:58Brooke Averick?

  That's fine.

• 1:59Connor Wood?

  I'm not standing with, in platforms with you.

• 2:01Brooke Averick?

  That's fine.

• 2:21Brooke Averick?

  But I love my Ugg pieces.

• 2:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah, they're nice.

• 2:23Brooke Averick?

  And look how short they are. Just like their mom.

• 2:25Connor Wood?

  I...

• 2:28Connor Wood?

  I need to get short ones.

• 2:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, maybe that too.

• 2:30Connor Wood?

  These are a little bit massive, but it's, I feel like it's the same quality. I don't know.

• 2:36Brooke Averick?

  I don't think so.

• 2:37Connor Wood?

  Well, mine are bare paws. Um, it just didn't, that wasn't gonna work as well with my, with my, with my step it up chant that I came up with on the spot.

• 2:48Brooke Averick?

  What is it?

• 2:49Connor Wood?

  U.

• 2:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 2:50Connor Wood?

  G G.

• 2:51Brooke Averick?

  Oh, right.

• 2:52Connor Wood?

  Uggs.

• 2:53Brooke Averick?

  Right, you can't really even do that because yours aren't Uggs.

• 2:56Connor Wood?

  Well, I'm gonna say B. E A. R P. A W. Ah!

• 3:03Brooke Averick?

  I thought it was bare quads.

• 3:05Connor Wood?

  No, bare paw. That actually works kind of still.

• 3:08Brooke Averick?

  What is the thing you said? Do you respect the person you are when you're in the Uggs?

• 3:11Connor Wood?

  When you put on the Uggs.

• 3:12Brooke Averick?

  When you put on the Uggs?

• 3:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 3:14Brooke Averick?

  Do it all, all the way through.

• 3:15Connor Wood?

  Do you respect the person that you are when you put on the Uggs?

• 3:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, you're gonna really be in Ireland and do that? Are you gonna bring your fogs?

• 3:24Connor Wood?

  Like, I kinda wanna bring my fogs to Ireland. Um, I gotta see what's gonna fit in my bag.

• 3:29Brooke Averick?

  What's the temp like in Ireland?

• 3:31Connor Wood?

  I need to look up the temp in Dublin.

• 3:33Brooke Averick?

  In Dublin.

• 3:33Connor Wood?

  Okay, first of all, I leave tomorrow night.

• 3:36Brooke Averick?

  No way.

• 3:37Connor Wood?

  For London, yeah. I'm very excited, but also like, huh?

• 3:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:42Connor Wood?

  Because I haven't had any time to be excited about going across the pond.

• 3:46Brooke Averick?

  It's such a long drive across the pond from LA.

• 3:50Connor Wood?

  I know. Um, I did step my, step my pussy up and, and, and.

• 3:57Brooke Averick?

  You did S C?

• 3:58Connor Wood?

  Go first class, yeah.

• 3:59Brooke Averick?

  Are you serious?

• 4:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but I did.

• 4:01Brooke Averick?

  A lie flat?

• 4:01Connor Wood?

  I did it, I did it on my dad's discount.

• 4:04Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 4:05Connor Wood?

  Thing, so it was.

• 4:07Brooke Averick?

  Pulling daddy strings?

• 4:08Connor Wood?

  It was a little bit, a little tiny bit more expensive than my.

• 4:11Brooke Averick?

  Why don't you always do that then?

• 4:12Connor Wood?

  I forget.

• 4:13Brooke Averick?

  Connor, you have like a chip that fell out.

• 4:19Connor Wood?

  Did it land on my shoulder by chance?

• 4:20Brooke Averick?

  No, it landed in your panties.

• 4:24Connor Wood?

  You are absolutely obsessed with my panties.

• 4:27Brooke Averick?

  Why wouldn't you always just do that?

• 4:29Connor Wood?

  For sure this is the third week in a row where you're talking about my panties. Keep my panties out of your mouth, Brooke.

• 4:33Brooke Averick?

  Why wouldn't you always just do that?

• 4:34Connor Wood?

  Because I, it sometimes doesn't make sense to fly United. I only get it on United.

• 4:38Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you didn't say that.

• 4:40Connor Wood?

  Well, I hadn't gotten there yet because you kept talking about my panties and my chip that's in my panties.

• 4:44Brooke Averick?

  Okay, your panties are in a bunch right now. Be careful of your chip.

• 4:47Connor Wood?

  In your mouth. They're bunched up in your mouth.

• 4:49Brooke Averick?

  What the?

• 4:52Brooke Averick?

  Seriously?

• 4:53Connor Wood?

  Spit them out.

• 4:55Brooke Averick?

  That's disgusting.

• 4:56Connor Wood?

  Spit it out.

• 4:57Brooke Averick?

  No, I can't. They don't fit in my mouth because my invisalign is so fucking huge right now because I'm off track. And they're loose.

• 5:05Brooke Averick?

  So I can't even fit your panties in my mouth.

• 5:08Connor Wood?

  You need to stay up on your invisalign.

• 5:10Brooke Averick?

  I needed to read you this hate comment I got about my mouth.

• 5:14Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 5:16Brooke Averick?

  Oh shit, where was it?

• 5:17Connor Wood?

  You, you, you worked so hard and got so far, but at the end, it really doesn't even matter if you don't keep up with your invisalign every night.

• 5:24Brooke Averick?

  No, I, I think it was just this week or something.

• 5:27Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 5:28Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 5:29Connor Wood?

  Teeth, teeth are constantly, teeth are constantly moving and shuffling around if you don't keep them in place. You know what's so weird is like if you don't have invisalign, it's like everyone else's teeth are just fully in their seat. Like respecting each other's space, but like the second you introduce invisalign to your mouth, they're like, hang on. Musical chairs.

• 5:49Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 5:50Connor Wood?

  It's like, why don't teeth just sit still? Why are they constantly moving?

• 5:52Brooke Averick?

  Mine are always moving and I learned why.

• 5:56Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 5:56Brooke Averick?

  From the dentist, orthodontist, I mean. My bottom teeth were pressing up against my tops.

• 6:04Connor Wood?

  How?

• 6:04Brooke Averick?

  And forcing them out, which is why I have, I had that horse bite.

• 6:11Connor Wood?

  How, like?

• 6:11Brooke Averick?

  Cause like my bottom teeth were pressing on the top.

• 6:15Connor Wood?

  Do your molars not touch in the back when you close your mouth?

• 6:17Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 6:18Connor Wood?

  Do it right now.

• 6:18Brooke Averick?

  They are right now.

• 6:22Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 6:23Brooke Averick?

  Wait, I really wanted to find this comment.

• 6:25Connor Wood?

  Brooke is looking for her hate comment. I need to go to the damn dentist so bad. However, I just have this, this feeling that I will never shake that I, I hate how many teeth I have. Like, I wish it was just all one big piece.

• 6:38Brooke Averick?

  No, this is the hate comment I got was about that I should have had a few teeth removed.

• 6:44Brooke Averick?

  I don't think I can find it.

• 6:45Connor Wood?

  You can type in on your photos, like.

• 6:47Brooke Averick?

  Teeth?

• 6:48Connor Wood?

  Tooth?

• 6:48Brooke Averick?

  I don't know if I, I don't know if I screenshot it. But yeah, that's a good point.

• 6:52Connor Wood?

  Anytime I'm looking for something with words, if you just quotation mark.

• 6:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 6:55Connor Wood?

  Like tooth?

• 6:56Brooke Averick?

  That's so true.

• 6:57Connor Wood?

  That'll pull it up.

• 6:57Brooke Averick?

  But I didn't screenshot it. All right, I'll find it. Maybe I'll try to find it for bonus. Anywho's a what's it? Um, happy wicked week.

• 7:06Connor Wood?

  Oh yeah, happy wicked week to you and yours.

• 7:08Brooke Averick?

  Happy wicked week.

• 7:08Connor Wood?

  Is it, is it wicked week because it's coming out?

• 7:11Brooke Averick?

  Wicked is coming out.

• 7:13Connor Wood?

  When?

• 7:13Brooke Averick?

  In LA on Wednesday. So I'm going to see it Wednesday. But then I think Friday for most places.

• 7:20Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Brooke Averick?

  I'm so excited.

• 7:22Connor Wood?

  I don't know, why, why is LA getting special treatment for wicked?

• 7:25Brooke Averick?

  I think it's just, there's just like an AMC early access thing. I don't know if it's LA specific or AMC specific.

• 7:31Connor Wood?

  And there's only AMC's in California?

• 7:33Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 7:34Connor Wood?

  Then, why would they only do it here? We, we have enough.

• 7:37Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 7:37Connor Wood?

  Going on.

• 7:38Brooke Averick?

  Maybe it's other places too.

• 7:40Connor Wood?

  Wow, I actually like won't, won't be able to.

• 7:42Brooke Averick?

  Definitely New York.

• 7:43Connor Wood?

  In London, probably.

• 7:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, go.

• 7:45Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna.

• 7:46Brooke Averick?

  That'll be so fun to do alone.

• 7:46Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna go to the movies in London. Cause I need to be having high tea all the time. When someone was like, hey, uh, do you wanna, like, what are your feelings on high tea? It was Maggie. Maggie was like, what are your feelings on high tea? And I was like, how would I know? And she's like, you would, I mean, like, are you open to it? And I was like, high testosterone? I was like, I wouldn't know that. Like, it sounded like a TikTok. Like, you, you, you might have high tea if you blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I don't know, man. You're like, I don't know.

• 8:15Brooke Averick?

  I have high tea.

• 8:15Connor Wood?

  You do?

• 8:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:16Connor Wood?

  Testosterone?

• 8:17Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 8:18Connor Wood?

  Huh. How'd you find out?

• 8:20Brooke Averick?

  Blood.

• 8:21Connor Wood?

  Blood.

• 8:22Brooke Averick?

  Blood.

• 8:22Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 8:23Brooke Averick?

  Blood muffin.

• 8:23Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 8:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:25Connor Wood?

  What does that entail?

• 8:26Brooke Averick?

  Um.

• 8:27Connor Wood?

  What kind of toll does that take on?

• 8:28Brooke Averick?

  It means that I have, like, that's what PCOS is.

• 8:31Connor Wood?

  High tea?

• 8:32Brooke Averick?

  Is high tea and other, like, male quote unquote hormones, which is like, really hot.

• 8:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 8:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:41Connor Wood?

  I'll take some.

• 8:42Brooke Averick?

  I would love to give you some of my tea.

• 8:45Connor Wood?

  Maybe.

• 8:46Brooke Averick?

  Like on God.

• 8:46Connor Wood?

  Maybe we'll meet up after the show.

• 8:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, maybe we could.

• 8:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Well, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do high tea with her.

• 8:53Brooke Averick?

  Can I tell you something honest?

• 8:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 8:56Brooke Averick?

  All of the like fancy fancy bougie high tea places are so disgusting.

• 9:01Connor Wood?

  What do you mean?

• 9:03Brooke Averick?

  Like, oh, could I interest you in a salmon lollipop covered in an eyeball glaze?

• 9:10Connor Wood?

  Yeah, no, I'm there. I'm, I'm liquid diet only. I really can't be messing around abroad with my stomach.

• 9:15Brooke Averick?

  Truly, like they bring out the craziest things. It's like, no, no one, no one ever would want this.

• 9:23Connor Wood?

  Would want that.

• 9:24Brooke Averick?

  It was literally me and Tristan and Megan. I'm so sorry to say, I think we went to Sketch, which is like the bougiest one. It was a lollipop, salmon, mousse with chunks of salmon.

• 9:36Connor Wood?

  Stop.

• 9:37Brooke Averick?

  It was orb, an orb on a stick. And then a glaze around it that was the texture and consistency of the first layer of your eyeball. So there was an eyeball coating.

• 9:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 9:49Connor Wood?

  That's nasty.

• 9:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 9:51Connor Wood?

  No, I'm thinking like maybe just a cup of tea for me.

• 9:53Brooke Averick?

  You could do the cup of tea.

• 9:54Connor Wood?

  And I'll probably hold off on any sort of snacks while I have tea. Cause I don't, I don't like when I, if I'm drinking a hot beverage, the only thing I want in my mouth is a, is a Biscoff cookie.

• 10:03Brooke Averick?

  Right. I get that.

• 10:04Connor Wood?

  If I'm having tea or coffee.

• 10:06Brooke Averick?

  You could ask them to replace the salmon lolly with a Biscoff.

• 10:08Connor Wood?

  With a Biscoff.

• 10:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Connor Wood?

  I, um.

• 10:11Brooke Averick?

  Instead of the salmon lolly, I will do the American Airlines Biscoff.

• 10:16Connor Wood?

  Biscoff, if you can fish one out.

• 10:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:18Connor Wood?

  I have like eight packs in my bags. I never eat them on the plane. I put them in.

• 10:22Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 10:22Connor Wood?

  No, I put them in my bag.

• 10:23Brooke Averick?

  I've been sleeping through them. And it's been so upsetting.

• 10:26Connor Wood?

  You need to turn on your, um, TV thing to be like, wake me for food.

• 10:31Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 10:31Connor Wood?

  You can do that.

• 10:32Brooke Averick?

  How?

• 10:32Connor Wood?

  On like the resting screen on flights. You can change a setting to like sleep off or like wake me for food.

• 10:38Brooke Averick?

  I've never seen that.

• 10:39Connor Wood?

  You can.

• 10:40Brooke Averick?

  I don't want them to wake me. I want them to just leave it there. In my hand. Put it in my hand.

• 10:46Connor Wood?

  Put it.

• 10:47Brooke Averick?

  Put it in my hand.

• 10:48Connor Wood?

  Put it in my hand while I'm sleeping.

• 10:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's like hard.

• 10:52Connor Wood?

  Wake me for food is just like something that would be written on the outside of like a bear den that's in hibernation. Wake me for food. That's how I feel though. Like I really want to just like, I've already ordered my entree for my flight going out.

• 11:05Brooke Averick?

  What is it?

• 11:05Connor Wood?

  Which would be so nice. Oh my gosh, no, I didn't press submit because I wanted to read off the options.

• 11:09Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 11:09Connor Wood?

  On the, right now. Because I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit concerned. The one thing that sounds really good is spicy. And like, I just don't know if that's, should be something that I, the journey that I take.

• 11:22Brooke Averick?

  I know that a lot of people are like, I would never poop on a plane. I don't feel that way. I think that's why the bathroom is there.

• 11:32Brooke Averick?

  Hello?

• 11:33Connor Wood?

  I'm, no, no, keep talking.

• 11:34Brooke Averick?

  That's it.

• 11:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:38Brooke Averick?

  That's actually all I had to say.

• 11:39Connor Wood?

  I think depending on the length of the flight would be.

• 11:43Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you mean you shouldn't be pooping on like an hour and a half?

• 11:46Connor Wood?

  I just don't know why anyone would choose that journey for themselves.

• 11:48Brooke Averick?

  If you have to go.

• 11:49Connor Wood?

  But it's kind of that, that to me reminds me of like, when the train is approaching and it's either gonna hit one person or eight people? And you've chosen the eight people over the one person, to me.

• 11:59Brooke Averick?

  Like the one person you love or eight strangers?

• 12:03Connor Wood?

  Is that?

• 12:04Brooke Averick?

  What are you talking about?

• 12:05Connor Wood?

  Is that the conundrum? Yeah.

• 12:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's, I think it's like, would you save like, your sister or eight strangers?

• 12:11Connor Wood?

  That's a morally very heavy question.

• 12:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's like what they ask you in, in philosophy or ethics.

• 12:16Connor Wood?

  To me, what I would ask you is, would you rather be uncomfortable for like, an hour and a half or eight people smell what you had for breakfast and lunch?

• 12:24Brooke Averick?

  What I had for breakfast?

• 12:25Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 12:26Brooke Averick?

  Hands D.

• 12:27Connor Wood?

  Okay. H D, huh?

• 12:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. If I don't know, if I'll never see them again.

• 12:31Connor Wood?

  It's, it is like a little bit, it's not even a moral dilemma for you at all. That's just kind of like.

• 12:36Brooke Averick?

  No, I really feel like, everyone poops, so like, if there's a bathroom and you have to poop, like, you should use it.

• 12:46Brooke Averick?

  But if I didn't have to go that bad, I wouldn't.

• 12:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 12:49Brooke Averick?

  It would just be like if I really had to go.

• 12:51Connor Wood?

  That was my, that was kind of the question I was raising.

• 12:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, if it was like I could hold it, I would.

• 12:55Connor Wood?

  Yeah, okay.

• 12:56Brooke Averick?

  But if I couldn't, I wouldn't make myself feel bad about it.

• 13:01Connor Wood?

  You know, and that's reminding me, um, I should have the seared turbot. What is turbot?

• 13:07Brooke Averick?

  A fish?

• 13:07Connor Wood?

  That's so weird that you would ever name a fish that and be like, do you want it seared? I would, that sounds disgusting. That sounds like a piece of machinery. Like, that sounds like the name of a friendly cartoon robot in a movie.

• 13:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I know, I'm not a big seared girl.

• 13:20Connor Wood?

  No, me neither. So baby spinach tortellacci?

• 13:24Brooke Averick?

  Tortellini?

• 13:24Connor Wood?

  No, tortellacci. T-O-R-T-E-L-L-A-C-C-I?

• 13:30Brooke Averick?

  What's tortellacci?

• 13:31Connor Wood?

  Let's find out. Chunky pomodoro sauce.

• 13:34Brooke Averick?

  I don't think that we should say the word chunky.

• 13:38Connor Wood?

  You know, like-

• 13:39Brooke Averick?

  Everyone's all up in arms about moist. No, chunky.

• 13:42Connor Wood?

  Wait, what word don't I like? I wrote it down. You don't like chunky?

• 13:47Brooke Averick?

  Mm-mm.

• 13:48Connor Wood?

  Okay, hang on, words I don't like.

• 13:50Brooke Averick?

  Reminds me of-

• 13:51Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 13:52Brooke Averick?

  What? clit?

• 13:58Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 13:59Connor Wood?

  There's one word in my list, it's snack.

• 14:01Brooke Averick?

  Like, you probably meant like when saying like, oh, he's a snack.

• 14:04Connor Wood?

  No, no, no, I mean literally like when someone's like, I'm just gonna have a snack. I'm like, it kind of makes me frown.

• 14:11Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 14:11Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 14:12Connor Wood?

  I think it's other people saying it too. Sue me. Okay, so baby spinach tortellacci? Which I'm gonna Google as well. What is tortellacci? Tor-

• 14:22Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, pretty.

• 14:25Connor Wood?

  It's a large stuffed pasta that originated in Italy.

• 14:27Brooke Averick?

  You might like it.

• 14:28Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's looking really gorgeous.

• 14:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you might like it. It's mass.

• 14:33Connor Wood?

  That angle I don't know so much about. That's kind of gross for me out. Oh, that looks good. Okay, cool.

• 14:38Brooke Averick?

  Whoa, the other one I said that looks fine, and then this one I'm thinking, ew.

• 14:42Connor Wood?

  Um, seared flat iron steak. My gut is telling me, don't have steak on a plane. You know, they made a whole movie about that, steaks on a plane. And, so I don't know. That's, and that comes with mushroom gravy.

• 14:56Brooke Averick?

  I would say no to the mushroom gravy.

• 14:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah. And then the last option. It's spicy chicken with Thai style coconut ginger sauce, udon noodles and stir fried vegetables.

• 15:05Brooke Averick?

  I love udon.

• 15:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that's what I'm kinda gonna go with.

• 15:06Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Then that's the one you like didn't know because it was spicy, but you just made the decision.

• 15:11Connor Wood?

  I didn't read the description and I love udon noodles and I love stir fried vegetables. So how bad couldn't that really be on?

• 15:17Brooke Averick?

  I'm looking forward to hearing about it.

• 15:18Connor Wood?

  For my person. Um, and then I'm gonna also just move forward with the starter. Should I have the Tuscan sale remain salad? The smoked duck?

• 15:25Brooke Averick?

  The what?

• 15:26Connor Wood?

  Tuscan sale. Sorry. Tuscan kale remain salad. Smoked duck.

• 15:33Brooke Averick?

  For the app?

• 15:33Connor Wood?

  For the app. Smoked duck with parsnip puree and grilled Granny Smith apple wedges. They really know how.

• 15:39Brooke Averick?

  They don't need to be doing parsnip puree.

• 15:43Connor Wood?

  Literally took the words out of my mouth. You're doing too damn much.

• 15:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I feel like we'd be okay with a side of. I was gonna say we'd be okay with a side of parsnips, honestly, or without them.

• 15:53Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna miss, I'm not gonna say, excuse me, where's the parsnip?

• 15:56Brooke Averick?

  Shit, this would have been so much better with parsnips.

• 15:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah, not gonna realize. Or the burrata.

• 16:01Brooke Averick?

  Ooh.

• 16:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that kind of sense. But do I do burrata with follow up with spicy chicken? Sorry, what are we doing right now? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have eaten breakfast. I think that would be like an important.

• 16:12Brooke Averick?

  Wait, I should tell you something about burrata.

• 16:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah, tell me the thing about burrata that you're gonna tell me.

• 16:16Brooke Averick?

  There's a restaurant by my house. It's an Italian restaurant.

• 16:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 16:19Brooke Averick?

  They have a caprese salad in parentheses, they say no balsamic.

• 16:23Connor Wood?

  Caprese salad, no balsamic, okay.

• 16:25Brooke Averick?

  No balsamic.

• 16:25Connor Wood?

  Well, there's a shortage.

• 16:26Brooke Averick?

  No, it's not that. And so I, the waitress came over and I said, could I add balsamic? Like, I understand that there's not balsamic on the salad as it comes. Can I please add it? No, because the chef, um, wants it to be authentic Italian. And they don't quote, quote, quote, don't do balsamic in Italy, end quote, which is a lie. They also don't cut the pizza there because apparently they don't cut the pizza in Italy, which also is a lie.

• 16:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 16:54Brooke Averick?

  And they also wouldn't give us any marinara sauce for our fried calamari because they don't do that in Italy. If I asked them for a sauce in Italy for my fried calamari, they would give it to me.

• 17:03Connor Wood?

  That.

• 17:04Brooke Averick?

  Like, all of those things in Italy, if they didn't bring them initially, if I asked, they would be like, oh my god, of course.

• 17:10Connor Wood?

  That reminds me of-

• 17:11Brooke Averick?

  They're taking themselves so seriously, it's pissing me the off.

• 17:13Connor Wood?

  That reminds me of when people are like, oh, like, it's a do- like, your dog, like, what do you think, how would he do this if he was in the wild? You know, they're bred, they're animals. And I go, he's not in the wild. He's not a wolf. For a hun- he sleeps in a human bed.

• 17:27Brooke Averick?

  He gets his nails done.

• 17:28Connor Wood?

  Chef-inspired, you can't say, well, he's a dog. He's like, what would he be doing in the wild? He wouldn't be in the wild.

• 17:34Brooke Averick?

  Right, it's similar to like, if Brooke was a man, she'd be cancelled for this. Not a man.

• 17:38Connor Wood?

  I'm not a man. Also, I'm not in Italy.

• 17:40Brooke Averick?

  I'm not in Italy. And if I was in Italy, my point is, if I was in Italy, they would bring me balsamic.

• 17:45Connor Wood?

  My point also is, if you love that so much, go to Italy, chef.

• 17:50Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, I-

• 17:51Connor Wood?

  Don't come here and then, and not make any-

• 17:53Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, it really pisses me off. And let me just say, the amount of effort that it took them to print all new menus with the no balsamic note, it would be easier to just get balsamic.

• 18:05Connor Wood?

  You could have, you should have brought your own balsamic and-

• 18:08Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, should I bring my own Trader Joe's balsamic glaze?

• 18:10Connor Wood?

  That sounds really good right now.

• 18:12Brooke Averick?

  That is like, so mean. To ask for balsamic, they don't bring it, they give me the salad, I take the balsamic out of my purse and drizzle it in front of the waitress.

• 18:20Connor Wood?

  I think that's fine. What are they gonna do, kick you out?

• 18:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:23Connor Wood?

  That would be a perfect curb enthusiasm episode if they kicked you out.

• 18:25Brooke Averick?

  I literally was just thinking, that is hilarious, David.

• 18:28Connor Wood?

  See, that's enough for me to be like, I don't think I want to surround myself with people that would, that absolutely scoff at the idea of me getting a side of balsamic.

• 18:36Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, I think I just am not gonna go back to that restaurant, even though it sucks, because it's so convenient and it's like, it's pretty good food.

• 18:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 18:43Brooke Averick?

  But like, I, the no balsamic has just been keeping me up.

• 18:46Connor Wood?

  I don't know if I would, that's what I'm saying, I think you need to remove people like that-

• 18:49Brooke Averick?

  From your life.

• 18:50Connor Wood?

  Because they're no longer serving you, quite literally, they're no longer serving you balsamic.

• 18:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:58Connor Wood?

  Sorry, that kind of got me a little heated.

• 19:00Brooke Averick?

  I know, it is a heated topic.

• 19:03Connor Wood?

  Um, do you want to hear a little breakthrough I had recently?

• 19:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 19:07Connor Wood?

  Okay. So I went to the farmer's market last week for the second time since I lived where I live and it's, I always see it, it's, the most unemployed thing that can happen in LA is how all of the farmer's markets, most of the farmer's markets are in the middle of a workday. And they're packed.

• 19:24Brooke Averick?

  They're all Sundays.

• 19:26Connor Wood?

  No, like, two of the ones, like, the one in, uh, Burtwood is like Wednesday. The one in Venice is on Friday, like, it's, it's like 8 a.m. to 1. I'm like, who is, that's not even summer, you literally have to like not have a job to go to that farmer's market. Anyways, I went. And I always get these bagels from this woman that I love. Literally, I feel like chosen families, this is the woman that sells me these bagels. I feel a deep connection with her. Even though she charges me full price and really doesn't talk to me that much.

• 19:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 19:58Connor Wood?

  Sold me these, these cheddar jalapeno bagels and they are to die for. I posted on my Instagram story.

• 20:04Brooke Averick?

  I saw that.

• 20:05Connor Wood?

  So perfectly fluffy. And they, she bakes the jalapenos into the bread. So you're getting like little bits of like kick and then there's cheddar. Anyways.

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• 21:16Connor Wood?

  I've been so nervous. Every time I go to the farmer's market, I'm like, oh, everybody's looking at me. Like, I feel like I'm not meant to be there. Like, I feel like I'm the outsider and like, I feel like they're like, "Why is he here?" So I was like, feeling insecure at the farmer's market, you know?

• 21:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 21:29Connor Wood?

  And then I saw this meme the other day. You know Girls, the show Girls?

• 21:34Brooke Averick?

  I do know it.

• 21:35Connor Wood?

  Well, that one girl that was like, Eat, Pray, Love girl, just like, kind of just like,

• 21:39Brooke Averick?

  Jessa?

• 21:40Connor Wood?

  Jessa. There was a picture of her, from her Instagram story, where she always has Q and As and she's just like really brutally straightforward with people. Someone was like, "How to, how to build confidence as an insecure young woman?" And she goes, "I think that you think about yourself too much." And I was like, "Oh," being at the farmer's market, thinking everybody's-

• 21:58Brooke Averick?

  I was about to ask you how it's connecting to the cheddar jalapeno bagel.

• 22:01Connor Wood?

  Well, I was just a side note, sidebar, but I was at the farmer's market. I'm like, "No one gives a shit about me."

• 22:06Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 22:07Connor Wood?

  How narcissistic can you be to be insecure? Isn't that weird? I feel like insecurity is almost like a narcissistic trait.

• 22:13Brooke Averick?

  Interesting take.

• 22:14Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 22:15Brooke Averick?

  But doesn't narcissism imply that you think very highly of yourself?

• 22:19Connor Wood?

  Narcissism, in this case, would be like, "Everybody's looking at me and judging me," when in reality, they're not.

• 22:24Brooke Averick?

  I think narcissism implies that like, you think you're more important than others.

• 22:27Connor Wood?

  I think that there's probably more than one symptom of narcissism.

• 22:30Brooke Averick?

  I see what you're saying.

• 22:31Connor Wood?

  I think we're all narcissistic.

• 22:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, in a way.

• 22:37Connor Wood?

  But that was kind of a breakthrough I had. I was like, "Okay, that's true. Like, just go to the farmer's market. No one gives a shit that you're there."

• 22:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 22:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 22:43Brooke Averick?

  Glad that you had that breakthrough.

• 22:44Connor Wood?

  Get your bagel.

• 22:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 22:45Connor Wood?

  It is absolutely bananas. Who do these people think they are? The prices that they charge for blueberries? Twenty dollars?

• 22:53Brooke Averick?

  For a carton?

• 22:54Connor Wood?

  No, I'll just go shoplift. Are you kidding me? No, I'm not gonna shoplift. For a carton. Granted, I got three. It's twenty dollars, but it's just blueberries.

• 23:03Brooke Averick?

  So for three cartons of blueberries?

• 23:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but they're small. Small cartons of blueberries. They shouldn't be twenty dollars. It's a fruit.

• 23:09Brooke Averick?

  I mean, yeah.

• 23:09Connor Wood?

  Blueberries are small fruits. They're not twenty dollars.

• 23:14Brooke Averick?

  That makes sense to me, though. If there are three cartons, like, that's not crazy.

• 23:18Connor Wood?

  This big?

• 23:19Brooke Averick?

  I mean, it's obviously expensive, but like, I'm not shocked.

• 23:22Connor Wood?

  I know, it's just like, I better turn into Veronica Baruga if I pay $20 for a blueberry.

• 23:32Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Baruga. No, that was Violet Beauregard.

• 23:35Connor Wood?

  Oh, my bad.

• 23:36Brooke Averick?

  Is it Beauregard? That just slipped out.

• 23:38Connor Wood?

  Yeah, Violet Beauregard, you're right.

• 23:42Brooke Averick?

  My, I think my cornea is messed up.

• 23:45Connor Wood?

  I've been seeing you just blink and cry the whole time I was talking.

• 23:47Brooke Averick?

  I think I messed up my cornea really bad. Um, I know y'all are like really disturbed by Jonathan's habits, for whatever reason, so I'm not gonna use the word suck, but...

• 23:59Connor Wood?

  You can use the word suck.

• 24:00Brooke Averick?

  He has a new target, cuz it closed off my neck for business, and it's my eyeball. My eye, he like goes for my eyelids, no matter what, I do. So now I think he like scratched my cornea.

• 24:16Brooke Averick?

  And now I don't know what to do. Do I get an eye patch?

• 24:20Connor Wood?

  I have one in my backpack.

• 24:21Brooke Averick?

  Do you really? Can you get it for me right now?

• 24:24Connor Wood?

  No, cuz I don't have my backpack.

• 24:25Brooke Averick?

  Are you kidding?

• 24:28Brooke Averick?

  My eye's really in distress.

• 24:30Connor Wood?

  I literally might have it right now in my tote bag, my eye patch.

• 24:33Brooke Averick?

  Go get him an eye patch.

• 24:34Connor Wood?

  It's right here. It's, my tote bag's right here.

• 24:37Brooke Averick?

  So can you look inside of it?

• 24:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but talk about something, if you don't mind.

• 24:43Brooke Averick?

  My eye hurts.

• 24:45Connor Wood?

  Well, luckily you can use your mouth to tell us stuff under the podcast.

• 24:48Brooke Averick?

  Um, I'm leaving Jonathan for seven days and I like, can't do it.

• 24:55Connor Wood?

  Why, what are you doing?

• 24:56Brooke Averick?

  Going on that cruise.

• 24:58Connor Wood?

  Wait, what?

• 24:59Brooke Averick?

  I'm going on a cruise, you know that, with my whole family.

• 25:03Connor Wood?

  Hmm. Yeah, I do know that.

• 25:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and I have to leave Jonathan. Thankfully, as Marelde is staying with him. But like, I really am struggling. Like, I don't see how I'm gonna enjoy myself.

• 25:15Connor Wood?

  See, like, a cat, or cruise is completely the kind of thing you could bring a cat on.

• 25:20Brooke Averick?

  I don't think so.

• 25:21Connor Wood?

  Besides the water.

• 25:23Brooke Averick?

  I don't think it is at all.

• 25:24Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 25:25Brooke Averick?

  I don't, I think there's like a no pet policy, I would assume.

• 25:29Connor Wood?

  I'm just saying, like, in terms of, um, places that they could totally be.

• 25:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, he would have a blast, of course.

• 25:36Connor Wood?

  Cuz you just leave him in the room.

• 25:37Brooke Averick?

  But I can't, like, I'm not bringing him on the cruise.

• 25:42Brooke Averick?

  But Is he gonna suck my neck, you think? Close your neck off for business, but he might now suck on your eyelids. Be careful. Do a double eye patch to bed. He hasn't sucked off anyone else yet.

• 25:56Connor Wood?

  Ew, don't talk about your cat sucking anyone off.

• 26:01Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, that's gonna go on Reddit.

• 26:02Connor Wood?

  It's gonna, we're gonna get flagged on Tube.

• 26:06Brooke Averick?

  Oh, sorry. But I'd be so curious, Izzy. Yeah. I'm gonna set up another tree for him in my room, so that maybe he'll sleep on the tree. Instead of on your body and your neck and your eyeballs.

• 26:20Connor Wood?

  Sorry, I guess I left my eye patch in my-

• 26:21Brooke Averick?

  Are you kidding?

• 26:22Connor Wood?

  No, I looked, though. Damn.

• 26:26Brooke Averick?

  It's a good reminder to bring your eye patch with you wherever you go. You never know who's gonna need it.

• 26:30Connor Wood?

  That's extremely true.

• 26:32Brooke Averick?

  JD!

• 26:33Connor Wood?

  What?

• 26:36Brooke Averick?

  JD, stop.

• 26:37Connor Wood?

  Vance?

• 26:42Brooke Averick?

  JD!

• 26:46Brooke Averick?

  You know Jack S. does that bit?

• 26:48Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:50Brooke Averick?

  He's always like, JD, please. I've been doing that all weekend.

• 26:55Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 26:55Brooke Averick?

  JD, yes.

• 26:57Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 26:58Brooke Averick?

  Call Tristan and say JD.

• 27:00Connor Wood?

  I don't want to.

• 27:00Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 27:01Connor Wood?

  Tristan, the other day, I get a text. I am, this is last Sunday, I'm in bed. I'm so hungover. It's like 2:00 PM, I'm still in bed. And I get a text from Matt King. "Hey, can we talk?" "Hey, can we talk?" "I don't like how we ended things, dot, dot, dot." And like, I was like, "Oh, my gosh." "Hey, can we talk? I don't like how we ended things."

• 27:22Brooke Averick?

  I got that too, word for word.

• 27:23Connor Wood?

  And I was like, "Oh, crap, like, what?" I said, "Wait, what?", question mark? And he's like, "Do you seriously not remember, dot, dot, dot?" And then I was like, "Oh, my gosh, how drunk did I get? Like, did I, I checked my call log. I'm like, I didn't talk to Matt King." "I checked his location. I'm like, is he in New York?" "No, no." And then, my heart's pounding, too. I'm like, "What could I have done to Matt King?" Finally, he texts and is like, "Sorry, that was Tristan. I need him to get the fuck out of my house right now."

• 27:52Brooke Averick?

  I got, I got this, too.

• 27:54Connor Wood?

  He's like, "I want him to leave my house so bad."

• 27:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 27:58Connor Wood?

  Oh, it was so good.

• 27:59Brooke Averick?

  The thing is, if you ask Tristan, like, there have been so many times in my house, I've been like, "I think it's time for you to go." It only makes him wanna stay more.

• 28:06Connor Wood?

  You need to do, um- Like reverse psychology on Tristan to get him to leave.

• 28:13Brooke Averick?

  There's nothing that, like, when he's in one of those states, there's nothing that could-

• 28:16Connor Wood?

  I know. Him and Janing at like 3:00 in the morning at my house was like, "All right, you guys. Go ahead."

• 28:21Brooke Averick?

  Have the head on out?

• 28:23Connor Wood?

  "Come on, let's watch a music video." "No, go home, go home."

• 28:30Connor Wood?

  I'm sure you noticed the publication that came out that I wasn't included in.

• 28:33Brooke Averick?

  People sexiest?

• 28:34Connor Wood?

  People sexiest. I just feel like I gotta, we didn't address that ever.

• 28:39Brooke Averick?

  Walk us through how you're feeling.

• 28:40Connor Wood?

  Well, I'm just, I know that it wasn't for lack of trying. I know that we had a lot of boots on the ground. Unfortunately, I think Mark Estes, the army, the Mark Army-

• 28:48Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 28:49Connor Wood?

  Mark Estes Army-

• 28:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 28:50Connor Wood?

  Must just be so much stronger, although they tend to move in silence.

• 28:53Brooke Averick?

  I'm surprised by that, as I have never heard of Mark.

• 28:56Connor Wood?

  He dated Kristin Cavallari. Who you love.

• 29:00Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 29:01Connor Wood?

  And then we were graced with John Krasinski absolutely having not worked and I don't know how many moons-

• 29:08Brooke Averick?

  Well, he's, he has been-

• 29:09Connor Wood?

  What's he been doing?

• 29:10Brooke Averick?

  Quiet place and stuff. But it just sucks because I've been watching The Office recently and I'm, as I'm watching, I'm like, "That is the sexiest man alive." Jim Halper-

• 29:19Connor Wood?

  15 years ago.

• 29:19Brooke Averick?

  15 years ago. But I look at this man and I feel nothing. And that is like the perfect example of like him and Chris Pratt and Parks and Rec. It's like you should have just stayed, stayed as that form. You didn't have to be doing all this. But if you're happy, I'm happy for him, of course. And, you know, he's, he's, I, he's a nice guy, I've heard, so it's-

• 29:39Connor Wood?

  Have you?

• 29:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I have.

• 29:41Connor Wood?

  Like with all-

• 29:42Brooke Averick?

  I have no, I have no negative feelings toward John Kay, truly.

• 29:45Connor Wood?

  What is wrong with me? Like, I, I look at him and I, I, I feel-

• 29:49Brooke Averick?

  I don't feel good because I miss Jim era so much. Like this just, I don't, it just makes me a little upset, like, the kind of like Chris Pratt, John Krasinski transformation. Like this, looking at him in The Office makes me so giddy giddy. And then looking at him now, I feel nothing, but I don't have any negative feelings for him. I just, I do think he might have paid for this position.

• 30:10Connor Wood?

  Aligned.

• 30:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 30:13Connor Wood?

  Dumas also posted something about that.

• 30:15Brooke Averick?

  That's why I feel that way.

• 30:16Connor Wood?

  I already was like-

• 30:18Brooke Averick?

  I didn't like pop into my head that that's a possibility until Dumas said it and I was like, "Oh."

• 30:22Connor Wood?

  It should have been like- In terms of relevance, which is I thought that was the whole thing.

• 30:27Brooke Averick?

  I thought so too, but last year was Patrick Dempsey.

• 30:30Connor Wood?

  Timeless piece. He's a timeless piece.

• 30:32Brooke Averick?

  I don't agree. I think he lost relevance.

• 30:34Connor Wood?

  So he could have paid for that?

• 30:36Brooke Averick?

  You know, I told everyone that Patrick Dempsey was gonna be at my bat mitzvah.

• 30:40Connor Wood?

  For what reason?

• 30:41Brooke Averick?

  To get them there.

• 30:41Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 30:44Connor Wood?

  Bat mitzvah is 13 years old.

• 30:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 30:46Connor Wood?

  So your big selling point for your bat mitzvah is that a 50 year old was gonna be there?

• 30:49Brooke Averick?

  Well, Patrick Dempsey, and he was not 50 then.

• 30:52Connor Wood?

  He's been 50 for a long time, I fear.

• 30:54Brooke Averick?

  He has, but he was maybe almost like 40 then.

• 30:58Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 30:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 30:59Connor Wood?

  I think my point stands. But that's good.

• 31:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 31:03Connor Wood?

  Doctor Medrini?

• 31:03Brooke Averick?

  He didn't show up.

• 31:04Connor Wood?

  That's weird.

• 31:05Brooke Averick?

  I know, I agree. I need an eye patch like bad.

• 31:10Connor Wood?

  I can't help you. I already told you I looked. It's in my backpack.

• 31:13Brooke Averick?

  Backpack, backpack. Connor.

• 31:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah?

• 31:19Brooke Averick?

  Did you see me just lick the mic?

• 31:20Connor Wood?

  No, I've been, I don't wanna say this, but like, I just looked and I was like, my nose is fully running onto my mic. Sorry. I'm kind of, I'm kind of in that kind of mood where like it's cold out and my nose is running, but in like a cute festive way.

• 31:35Brooke Averick?

  Yes, yes, yes. I totally know what you mean. 'Tis the season.

• 31:39Connor Wood?

  It's not like, ugh, I'm so sick. It's like.

• 31:41Brooke Averick?

  And like cute little sneezes. Like, it's cute.

• 31:43Connor Wood?

  It's like, it's like, oh, let me, yeah, it's like, it's like.

• 31:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 31:46Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's like I'm excited for Christmas.

• 31:48Brooke Averick?

  Like I could almost like wipe it with the sleeve of my sweater and it's cute.

• 31:50Connor Wood?

  And it's not gonna like leave that mark on your sweater.

• 31:53Brooke Averick?

  It's like sweet and darling.

• 31:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's like sweet and darling.

• 31:55Brooke Averick?

  Sweet and darling and endearing.

• 31:57Connor Wood?

  Like I'm blushing kind of and my nose is red.

• 31:59Brooke Averick?

  Rosacea from the cold. Yeah, adorable.

• 32:02Connor Wood?

  Like a cute, cute runny nose.

• 32:03Brooke Averick?

  Cute, adorable.

• 32:04Connor Wood?

  Not like a sickly runny nose.

• 32:05Brooke Averick?

  Oh god, no, it's like precious.

• 32:07Connor Wood?

  Like I'm thankful for it.

• 32:08Brooke Averick?

  Childish. It's like childlike wonder.

• 32:10Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's like I have a runny nose.

• 32:12Brooke Averick?

  Aw.

• 32:12Connor Wood?

  But it's like, it's walking the mile in PE class. It's a walking the mile in PE class nose. Cause it's running so slowly and softly.

• 32:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's cute. I completely am aligned with that. But, um, happy wicked week. Happy wicked week. And I've been watching, obviously, all of the, um...

• 32:30Brooke Averick?

  Interviews leading up to it, the press interviews with Jonathan Bailey and Jeff Goldblum. They, it's literally like us doing the podcast, those two, because Jeff Goldblum has been breaking out into song. Have you seen this?

• 32:42Connor Wood?

  I know, I have seen it.

• 32:42Brooke Averick?

  Every five seconds, literally they'll just be like, um, and like, how do you think that you would get into character? And he'll just be like, she's a brick house. And it's so fucking funny.

• 32:54Connor Wood?

  That's, yeah, I saw that one. That one's good.

• 32:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:56Connor Wood?

  He's funny. He's

• 32:57Brooke Averick?

  He's hysterical.

• 32:58Connor Wood?

  He's kooky.

• 32:59Brooke Averick?

  He's kooky.

• 32:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 33:00Brooke Averick?

  I love him.

• 33:01Connor Wood?

  He seems like the exact same person that he plays in everything too, except apartments.com. Apartments, yeah.

• 33:08Connor Wood?

  I think they dropped him actually as the, the rep for them.

• 33:11Brooke Averick?

  Was he apartments.com?

• 33:12Connor Wood?

  I'm pretty sure he was apartments.com. And now it's

• 33:16Brooke Averick?

  Apartments, yeah?

• 33:17Connor Wood?

  No, that's booking.com, booking.com, yeah. But no, because now it's, um, Bowen, not Bowen Yang, Dan Levy and that girl from SNL that I can never remember her name, something Gardner, Heidi Gardner? It's them. And I hate those commercials now. They're really like

• 33:32Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 33:33Connor Wood?

  3D printed.

• 33:34Brooke Averick?

  I love Jeff.

• 33:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but he's been dropped, I, I fear from apartments.com.

• 33:37Brooke Averick?

  Maybe he dropped.

• 33:38Connor Wood?

  It seems that they went a different direction entirely.

• 33:41Brooke Averick?

  Maybe he went a different direction.

• 33:42Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 33:46Connor Wood?

  I'm trying to think of what I haven't talked about.

• 33:48Brooke Averick?

  I have something, one more thing.

• 33:49Connor Wood?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 33:49Brooke Averick?

  Um, I saw this video on TikTok that was this girl that was like, there is this voice that some female TikTokers have developed. It's like, almost kind of like a valley girl accent, but it's an internet accent. And she was talking about how fucking annoying it is and how she like can't stand the sound of like this specific voice that these girls have developed. And then she did an imitation. It is my voice verbatim. But I'm going to. It's like, not even funny.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  The girl that made my life a living hell in high school, she had this very particular way of speaking. And I pick up on it immediately when people do it because it's triggering for me. I'm like, it takes me back. And it's becoming an influencer accent. It's becoming an epidemic amongst influencers. It's not necessarily an accent, but it's more like a way of speaking that's paired with like the traditional influencer accent. So, so it's kind of like

• 34:45Connor Wood?

  Traditional influencer accent.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  I gotta get into character for a second. It's like valley girl accent with like Vocal fry, but it's like adding this thing with the bottom of your mouth. Like a lot of like

• 34:56Connor Wood?

  You do not sound like that at all.

• 34:57Brooke Averick?

  I think I do. Everyone's tagging me in it.

• 34:58Connor Wood?

  I know exactly who that sounds like.

• 35:00Brooke Averick?

  Everyone's tagging me in it.

• 35:03Brooke Averick?

  Everyone's tagging me in that.

• 35:04Connor Wood?

  That doesn't sound like you at all.

• 35:05Brooke Averick?

  It got 6,000 likes. It said at Brooke Affleck. I exaggerated. It was 2,000, but I rounded up.

• 35:14Brooke Averick?

  But yeah, obviously the person you're speaking about got 20K likes.

• 35:20Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God. Yeah.

• 35:22Brooke Averick?

  But I do think I sound like that.

• 35:23Connor Wood?

  You don't sound like that because that's horrible. But you

• 35:29Brooke Averick?

  Well, just know that I'm getting tagged in it.

• 35:31Connor Wood?

  I know. I think you're getting tagged in it because that girl is from the East Coast. I can hear.

• 35:35Brooke Averick?

  Like genuinely, I don't think my, like I think that by from birth.

• 35:38Connor Wood?

  You don't have the valley girl part of that.

• 35:41Brooke Averick?

  Have you heard the sound of my voice when I was young?

• 35:44Connor Wood?

  I know because how?

• 35:45Brooke Averick?

  In the, uh, in those wicked clips, it's even more valley. Listen to this.

• 35:52Brooke Averick?

  That's my voice sound is little.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  Mine is

• 35:54Brooke Averick?

  Hold on.

• 35:58Connor Wood?

  You just sound

• 35:59Brooke Averick?

  You hear that?

• 36:00Connor Wood?

  No, you don't sound that.

• 36:01Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I think that sounds really like Philly almost even.

• 36:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like that's not valley, though. That's East Coast.

• 36:06Brooke Averick?

  There's, but it's, they're such a fine line.

• 36:09Connor Wood?

  No, I think that that girl, the reason it sounded like you a little bit is because of the East Coast part. Because I heard at the first couple of things she said, I was like, that sounds like a girl on the East Coast. Jika. And then when she added the valley girl part, I go

• 36:23Connor Wood?

  ding ding ding bingo in my head.

• 36:25Brooke Averick?

  I was born with it.

• 36:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 36:27Brooke Averick?

  It's not an influencer voice.

• 36:28Connor Wood?

  No, that sounds more like that thing when you're like, okay. Like, that's what that sounds like, maybe.

• 36:34Brooke Averick?

  Do you know that there's this, sorry, I'm like going full hardcore special interest with wicked, like in a scary way. But you know, they go, okay, in a song? Yeah.

• 36:44Connor Wood?

  We'll look it up in the bonus.

• 36:45Brooke Averick?

  Is it? You know what I'm talking about? Much fun. In Dancing Through Life, when Pierre is like, "Sit." Oh, yeah. "Sit. What's the most mankified place in town?" "Sit." It's the office ballroom.

• 36:55Connor Wood?

  Oh. You guys, I absolutely did not pick up on that last week at all.

• 37:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, we know.

• 37:01Connor Wood?

  I know, and I also couldn't see you. I, I don't want to say this out loud. No, no, I will. I drank a can last night and I thought of the funniest joke ever that someone has said, and I'm not gonna take credit for it. But I was laughing really hard and I was like, "I'm gonna, I'm gonna do the joke on you."

• 37:19Connor Wood?

  But now I don't think it's funny.

• 37:20Brooke Averick?

  Try it.

• 37:21Connor Wood?

  I was, had tears in my eyes last night.

• 37:23Brooke Averick?

  Try it.

• 37:23Connor Wood?

  When I remember that someone says, "What's the difference between a table and a chair?"

• 37:29Connor Wood?

  Sorry. "What's the difference between a table and a chair?"

• 37:35Brooke Averick?

  You don't eat off of the chair?

• 37:38Connor Wood?

  I don't know, but what do they have in common?

• 37:43Brooke Averick?

  You can sit on both of them?

• 37:44Connor Wood?

  They're both not hummus.

• 37:50Brooke Averick?

  I don't hate it.

• 37:51Connor Wood?

  I know, it's pretty funny. If you're in the right state of mind, it's absolutely mind-blowingly funny.

• 37:56Brooke Averick?

  I can't ima- that, hm? That off of a can would be hysterical.

• 38:01Connor Wood?

  Oh, y'all, I was dying. I was dying, I was crying laughing.

• 38:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 38:05Connor Wood?

  Also, when I got home, um, the other day

• 38:10Connor Wood?

  from, where was I? Oh, Indianapolis and St. Louis last weekend. My last two shows in the United States on the tour.

• 38:18Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 38:18Connor Wood?

  Woo!

• 38:19Brooke Averick?

  They're done?

• 38:20Connor Wood?

  I'm done with the United States, yeah.

• 38:21Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 38:22Connor Wood?

  So much fun. I'm sad.

• 38:25Brooke Averick?

  Aw.

• 38:26Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 38:27Brooke Averick?

  You could always go back out.

• 38:28Connor Wood?

  I know, I am gonna miss, like, it a little bit.

• 38:31Brooke Averick?

  Are you relieved at all?

• 38:32Connor Wood?

  It feels good to have, like, something done, like, there is a sense of, like, accomplishment. I do go to London and Dublin for the last two shows, which is gonna be a big thing.

• 38:42Brooke Averick?

  How long will you be away?

• 38:43Connor Wood?

  Okay, chocolate chip in my chair, where'd you come from?

• 38:47Connor Wood?

  I chocolate it up.

• 38:48Brooke Averick?

  What were you even eating that had a chocolate chip?

• 38:50Connor Wood?

  Of course, my perfect bar that needs to have candy in every flavor. It's just like, please, just make it bean water. What'd you say?

• 38:55Brooke Averick?

  How long will you be abroad?

• 38:57Connor Wood?

  Um, until the 2nd of December. So I'll be doing Thanksgiving in a pub in Dublin.

• 39:02Brooke Averick?

  That's so fun.

• 39:03Connor Wood?

  But this, this girl I talked to, I did an interview with, she was like, "There's a pub that does Thanksgiving inside of it." Oh. Oh, I'm doing a Dublin show. If anyone's listening and you're in Dublin or you're in Ireland, please come. It's the only show that has tickets available and there's a lot of them. Weirdly, like, hello.

• 39:23Brooke Averick?

  I've never been to Ireland.

• 39:25Connor Wood?

  My old roommate from college, his family lives out there. He's dual citizenship.

• 39:28Brooke Averick?

  Are you serious?

• 39:30Connor Wood?

  They fully have accents. It's really funny.

• 39:32Brooke Averick?

  I had no idea.

• 39:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah? Um, but yeah, I'm, I was telling you this because, oh, so I get, I got home the other night. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I mean, I cleaned my apartment before I left. It was like clean. I lit a candle. I drank the can. And then I sat down to like, watch Happy Gilmore. Forgot my TV only works halfway. I was, I was absolutely in the right mindset to, I watched Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison on half the screen. The two full movies on half a screen.

• 40:02Brooke Averick?

  That's fine. Sometimes all you need is the audio.

• 40:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 40:06Brooke Averick?

  Would you rather be blind or deaf?

• 40:07Connor Wood?

  Uh-uh. Deaf.

• 40:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 40:14Brooke Averick?

  Me too.

• 40:15Connor Wood?

  Yeah. But then Saturday.

• 40:17Brooke Averick?

  I need an eye patch so fucking bad, though.

• 40:19Connor Wood?

  I know. Try to just maybe close your eye, because that's a built in.

• 40:21Brooke Averick?

  I can't close just one.

• 40:23Connor Wood?

  You can close them both. Relax.

• 40:26Brooke Averick?

  Take a load off.

• 40:27Connor Wood?

  Take a load off. I'll just, I'll tell you this. So I went and, um, to Best Buy and bought a new TV. That's my whole story. Wow.

• 40:36Connor Wood?

  But it was awesome, because the new TV.

• 40:40Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna hang up, because.

• 40:42Brooke Averick?

  You're just gonna keep it on the, on your night tables?

• 40:43Connor Wood?

  My nightstands, because I don't use my nightstands for anything.

• 40:46Brooke Averick?

  My nightstands are a treasure trove.

• 40:49Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 40:50Brooke Averick?

  Of fun artifacts.

• 40:51Connor Wood?

  I don't spend any time in my bed, so there's nothing that I need to like, store there. Like, when I wake up, I get, I like, I'm up and I'm out of my bed.

• 41:01Brooke Averick?

  Me too.

• 41:01Connor Wood?

  And the reason no one's seen my room is because I don't like my actual bedroom right now. But I like my living room.

• 41:07Brooke Averick?

  I love my bedroom. It's a shame I'm never in it.

• 41:10Connor Wood?

  I know, you should spend more time there.

• 41:11Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 41:11Connor Wood?

  To get your money's worth.

• 41:12Brooke Averick?

  People are like, Brooke, you need to like, sit in your bed more, take a load off, like you're never relaxing. Take a nap for once.

• 41:20Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 41:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 41:21Connor Wood?

  Like get horizontal. You deserve it.

• 41:22Brooke Averick?

  Like once in your life, like you're always go, go, go, go, go. But um, my book goes out tomorrow. I'm sorry. I've been feeling so sick and nauseous. I've probably been so annoying this episode. I feel so sick. I have a piece of throw up in my throat. A chunk.

• 41:38Connor Wood?

  Wait, about sending your book out?

• 41:39Brooke Averick?

  I have a chunk in my throat.

• 41:41Connor Wood?

  You are the only one that's bugged by the word chunk. I mean, what is it? Chunk? So.

• 41:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Yes. Tomorrow.

• 41:48Connor Wood?

  Wait.

• 41:48Brooke Averick?

  It's blasting out. It's blasting out.

• 41:50Connor Wood?

  All your pages are being sent for like review?

• 41:51Brooke Averick?

  I have, it's 110 pages and then like 40 pages of an outline of the rest of the book.

• 42:00Brooke Averick?

  And so.

• 42:01Connor Wood?

  How, what's the timeline on them reading it and getting?

• 42:06Brooke Averick?

  I think usually a few weeks, but they were like, it could be a few days, but probably a few weeks.

• 42:12Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 42:12Brooke Averick?

  And I said, they said, do you want us to tell you when they pass?

• 42:16Connor Wood?

  Wait, what does pass?

• 42:17Brooke Averick?

  When they're like, not for us.

• 42:18Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 42:19Brooke Averick?

  And I said, uh, maybe not right now.

• 42:23Connor Wood?

  Tell me.

• 42:23Brooke Averick?

  But like someone, obviously like people are gonna pass and I'm like, gonna try not to take it personally, but I'm scared that I'm gonna like, look at my books and like who the publishers are of every book I read in the future and, and not read the ones that pass on me, even though I'm gonna try to be really good and not take it personally.

• 42:38Connor Wood?

  You're gonna brook cot.

• 42:39Brooke Averick?

  I might be brook cotting. No, I'm not gonna take it personally. I've never taken anything personally.

• 42:43Connor Wood?

  No, it's not like you.

• 42:43Brooke Averick?

  That's good. So I'll probably, it'll probably be a no stress type of situation.

• 42:51Connor Wood?

  That's exciting.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  When everything feels non-stop, movement becomes the pause. So give Lululemon this holiday season. Smooth seamless running gear builds momentum through every mile.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  Comfortable workout styles clear the way for locked in focus. And dynamic stretch expands presence through every pose.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Give the feeling. Shop in store and on lululemon.com.

• 43:53Speaker 05

  Ugh, I hate Mondays.

• 43:54Connor Wood?

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite?

• 43:56Speaker 05

  Uh, Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm.

• 44:02Speaker 06

  Hey, let's get back to work, please.

• 44:03Speaker 05

  But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites.

• 44:08Speaker 06

  Taylor Hansen? Nice.

• 44:10Connor Wood?

  Try one.

• 44:11Speaker 06

  Mmm.

• 44:15Speaker 06

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites.

• 44:17Brooke Averick?

  There's nothing like it.

• 44:23Brooke Averick?

  Like, oh my god, should I throw up?

• 44:27Connor Wood?

  Pull trig.

• 44:28Brooke Averick?

  This is the scariest, I think this is the scariest thing that I've ever done.

• 44:33Connor Wood?

  That's exciting. And you know what's great about writing a book?

• 44:36Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 44:37Connor Wood?

  Like, this is so personal to you, but you could write 10 more.

• 44:41Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 44:41Connor Wood?

  You know, it's just like an endless fountain of pulling things out of your brain.

• 44:45Brooke Averick?

  Well, hopefully if-

• 44:46Connor Wood?

  It's your intellectual property.

• 44:47Brooke Averick?

  If a publisher buys it, it will be a two-book deal.

• 44:51Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:52Brooke Averick?

  But what's crazy is, our next episode we're recording tomorrow, so obviously we won't have any information then, but the next time I see you after Thanksgiving, we'll probably know something.

• 45:03Connor Wood?

  That's exciting.

• 45:04Brooke Averick?

  Isn't that scary?

• 45:04Connor Wood?

  Wow, that is scary. I just got, like, a little bit queazed too, myself.

• 45:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so I'm really queasy. Sorry if I've been, like, so annoying. I'm, like, completely all over the place.

• 45:14Connor Wood?

  What did I say, like, to episodes ago? It's a really transfer-

• 45:17Brooke Averick?

  Oh, but we have to manifest.

• 45:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, say what you want to say.

• 45:21Brooke Averick?

  I hope that it gets published.

• 45:23Connor Wood?

  That's not at all manifesting. That's hoping.

• 45:27Brooke Averick?

  I, it will get published?

• 45:28Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it'll get picked up by-

• 45:29Brooke Averick?

  It will get picked up by-

• 45:30Connor Wood?

  Simon and Schuster.

• 45:31Brooke Averick?

  By so many. By all of them, except a few.

• 45:34Connor Wood?

  But-

• 45:35Brooke Averick?

  Because they're always all great books people pass on.

• 45:38Connor Wood?

  You also kind of don't want options either, because that would be paralyzing to be like, oh my gosh, I have to pick between six.

• 45:44Brooke Averick?

  I do want some options.

• 45:45Connor Wood?

  Two.

• 45:46Brooke Averick?

  Maybe six to eight.

• 45:49Connor Wood?

  How many are there?

• 45:50Brooke Averick?

  Uh, I think, like, maybe like 10 to 12, or 10 to 15.

• 45:54Connor Wood?

  It's gonna be great.

• 45:55Brooke Averick?

  Eee, thanks, Connor.

• 45:56Connor Wood?

  At least you know someone will pick it up out of 15.

• 45:58Brooke Averick?

  I don't know that.

• 46:01Brooke Averick?

  But they will.

• 46:04Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 46:04Brooke Averick?

  In this space, 150% they will.

• 46:06Connor Wood?

  That's exciting.

• 46:07Brooke Averick?

  And you know how I was saying that I fell in love with one of the characters that I wrote like really badly? And it was becoming unhealthy?

• 46:12Connor Wood?

  Uh huh.

• 46:12Brooke Averick?

  I got some feedback on him as a young man and I have to completely rework him because he they said he was really unrealistic. And that no one would behave that way.

• 46:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 46:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 46:24Connor Wood?

  That's good.

• 46:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, because the main girl is like crazy and every single thing she did, he was like, babe, it's fine. I'm I'm in love with you. And I was like, that feels good to me. And then the feedback was, this isn't, um, this would never happen. That's good, too.

• 46:43Connor Wood?

  It's fantasy.

• 46:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So that's that's been altered. So that's good.

• 46:47Connor Wood?

  That'll be good when you reread it and you're like, oh, he's normal.

• 46:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but I miss him.

• 46:52Connor Wood?

  That's natural.

• 46:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's only natural. If you love something like like that, you have to let it go.

• 46:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 46:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 47:01Connor Wood?

  I love something.

• 47:02Brooke Averick?

  What do you?

• 47:04Connor Wood?

  The chocolate chip I found in my in my seat.

• 47:08Brooke Averick?

  Eat it.

• 47:09Connor Wood?

  No, it's not. If you love something, you have to let it go. Maybe not eat it.

• 47:12Brooke Averick?

  But then it'll be a part of you forever.

• 47:14Connor Wood?

  No, trust me, it won't be a part of me forever.

• 47:19Brooke Averick?

  If like your loved one died, would you eat their ashes in a pill?

• 47:26Brooke Averick?

  So they would be part of you forever?

• 47:28Connor Wood?

  No.

• 47:30Brooke Averick?

  Is that something that people do?

• 47:32Connor Wood?

  N- no.

• 47:33Brooke Averick?

  They should.

• 47:34Connor Wood?

  You're gonna poop it out. I don't want my loved one to to travel through my body like Mrs. Frizzle.

• 47:41Brooke Averick?

  How fun would that be, though?

• 47:44Connor Wood?

  How would you sleep at night as well? I.

• 47:48Brooke Averick?

  With Jonathan sucking on my eyelid? Sorry. Sorry.

• 47:52Connor Wood?

  You might have like a serious disease.

• 47:55Brooke Averick?

  I do?

• 47:57Connor Wood?

  Rosanna Pantia reveals she's smoking her dad's ashes. And new Instagram story, "His dying wish was to be grown into a cannabis plant and be smoked." Oh, who is this young woman? She's a chef.

• 48:11Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god.

• 48:13Connor Wood?

  Well, I will say Willie Nelson-

• 48:14Brooke Averick?

  That's a great idea.

• 48:15Connor Wood?

  Willie Nelson's song, "Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die."

• 48:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 48:19Connor Wood?

  Like, maybe-

• 48:20Brooke Averick?

  I want my, I want my grandkids to do that.

• 48:22Connor Wood?

  To me, I kinda felt like that was more of a, a, a play on words. And less so, "Smoke my bo- inhale my body into your lungs." But who am I to say?

• 48:33Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 48:34Connor Wood?

  Different strokes for different folks. She seems to be enjoying smoking her father. So.

• 48:38Brooke Averick?

  I think that that's gonna really start to pick up now.

• 48:42Connor Wood?

  My mom would fucking kill me in the afterlife if I was rolling up a joint with her cremated body. She'd be like, "Well, I'm haunting you now." She'd be so mad.

• 48:52Brooke Averick?

  Baby, if I'm haunting you.

• 48:55Connor Wood?

  Speaking of-

• 48:55Brooke Averick?

  So your mom, do you?

• 48:56Connor Wood?

  Consuming other people.

• 49:01Connor Wood?

  I just watched this show, Florida, comma, Man. It's Florida Man. And like, it was just like on my TV last night. And it's like stories, and I, it must be made by the drunk history person that made that, because it's like reenactments. But it's all famous people doing the reenactments, but it's true stories. And this guy was saying, he really needed to go to a bass nectar concert in Colorado, but he was broke. So he got on Craigslist and typed in like, "I'm willing to do whatever within reason for some cash." And he said he got a lot of like, sexual things, and finally he got one that wasn't sexual. But he was like, "Can I give you a call? It's my biggest fantasy." And he, he answered, he, he gets on the phone with this person, and they say, "I want you to

• 49:43Connor Wood?

  cut off one of my toes and, and eat it in front of me."

• 49:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:47Connor Wood?

  Like fry it up and eat it.

• 49:49Brooke Averick?

  Don't worry, it's not sexual.

• 49:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah, um, "I want you to eat my toe." And the guy was justifying it, that like, is telling the story like, I mean like, in the moment, I kind of just was picturing myself in Colorado at Bass Nectar with my friends, and like, that's where- And I was just like, and he said he got to the guy's house, and he was like, a very normal, well-adjusted man. Good-looking.

• 50:11Brooke Averick?

  Ooh. He's single?

• 50:15Connor Wood?

  But then he, he, he pussied out right before he was about to cut the toe off.

• 50:20Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 50:20Connor Wood?

  Because he, he was a karate teacher, and he's like, "I don't know how I'd explain it to the kids, why I'm missing three toes."

• 50:26Brooke Averick?

  Wait, the guy pussied out? The guy that hired?

• 50:29Connor Wood?

  The guy that hired.

• 50:31Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 50:33Brooke Averick?

  So, did he get the money or no?

• 50:35Connor Wood?

  The guy ended up giving him the money for showing up.

• 50:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's, I would, yeah, that's sweet.

• 50:41Connor Wood?

  And at the end, it's $4,000.

• 50:43Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God.

• 50:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like, at the end, he was like, I still every now and then get on Craigslist and type in like, I'm strapped for cash, I will do whatever. And he said, every now and then I get a message that's worded, and I know it's Steven. And he'll message back and be like, hey, Steven, it's me. Remember me? How's it going? He's like, good. You want to give it another try? Because like, I'm ready now.

• 51:07Brooke Averick?

  Why does he want that? I wonder what is driving him?

• 51:10Connor Wood?

  They had a sexual, like, intimacy expert also speaking on the matter.

• 51:14Brooke Averick?

  Love to hear.

• 51:15Connor Wood?

  And she was like, the reason he backed out last minute is because people like the fantasy.

• 51:20Brooke Averick?

  My reason is, my question is, why does he want it in the first place?

• 51:24Connor Wood?

  Because it's, it's, it's a sexual fant, it's a fantasy.

• 51:29Brooke Averick?

  Like, where is it coming from?

• 51:30Connor Wood?

  Mental illness.

• 51:31Brooke Averick?

  No, I know, but like, what, like, what happened to him in the past?

• 51:35Connor Wood?

  Oh, maybe, maybe Trump. Or what is going on in his brain? The intimacy expert was like, it's a normal thing to have a fantasy about that, but as soon as it becomes real for people, they get timid and they back out.

• 51:45Brooke Averick?

  Hold on, I bet I've watched enough Criminal Minds to try to figure out. Okay, let me put myself in the mind.

• 51:51Connor Wood?

  Of someone that wants.

• 51:52Brooke Averick?

  Of someone that wants someone else to cut off and eat their toes.

• 51:56Connor Wood?

  Ew, and they kept showing, obviously, fake toes, like, rolling around in butter on a, on a frying pan?

• 52:03Brooke Averick?

  Maybe that's something his parents used to do.

• 52:06Connor Wood?

  Eat each other's toes?

• 52:08Brooke Averick?

  To other, maybe they were unsub's and they did that to others.

• 52:13Connor Wood?

  I could definitely see it stemming from childhood trauma, for sure.

• 52:21Connor Wood?

  But I don't know.

• 52:21Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 52:22Connor Wood?

  The craziest part of the whole story is literally the guy being like, I needed to go to Baysnactor. So like I was-

• 52:27Brooke Averick?

  I feel like the craziest part of the story is the guy that wants someone else to cut off his toes and eat them.

• 52:32Connor Wood?

  I think it's crazier to justify as another person like driving over to someone's house and being like, alright, time to eat a toe.

• 52:38Brooke Averick?

  Here's a question. You come across that-

• 52:41Connor Wood?

  Concert tickets.

• 52:42Brooke Averick?

  You come across that Craigslist ad.

• 52:44Connor Wood?

  Sure.

• 52:47Brooke Averick?

  Of someone saying, I'll literally do whatever. What would you have that person do for you?

• 52:51Connor Wood?

  Great question, Brooke. And like, is this something where it's like, okay, no one ever finds out what-

• 52:57Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 52:57Connor Wood?

  Okay. I don't have any... I only have 10 toes, you know, so it's like, but I don't have anything that depraved. Sorry to, for anyone interested in toe eating. Um, I don't have anything like that. What would I have them do? I probably would have them go through all of my clothes. And help me get rid of stuff. And then drive it to Goodwill.

• 53:17Brooke Averick?

  I was about to say, I'd have someone put my couch together, finally.

• 53:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Like something that is just like weigh the weight of it.

• 53:24Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 53:25Connor Wood?

  And do all my laundry and then hang it back up so I can start like from the beginning.

• 53:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Get you back to round zero.

• 53:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that's what I would have them do.

• 53:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:34Connor Wood?

  Which is just like something that I could do.

• 53:37Brooke Averick?

  I also could hire a TaskRabbit to put my couch together. Too. But I don't think they would, they get it.

• 53:43Connor Wood?

  It's crazy at my age, like it would benefit me so much for my mom to come visit and help me with my clothes.

• 53:49Brooke Averick?

  She would.

• 53:50Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 53:50Brooke Averick?

  Your parents come visit all the time.

• 53:51Connor Wood?

  They don't like LA though, so they don't spend any time up here.

• 53:54Brooke Averick?

  But they would if, if your mom, if you asked your mom, she would.

• 53:57Connor Wood?

  I think so too. I should ask my mom.

• 53:59Brooke Averick?

  She's a sweetheart. Yeah.

• 54:00Connor Wood?

  Um, you wanna hear about this thing that I heard Amy Poehler and Kiki Palmer talk about on their podcast?

• 54:05Brooke Averick?

  They have a podcast?

• 54:07Connor Wood?

  No.

• 54:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 54:10Connor Wood?

  So Amy Poehler was talking about functional freeze. Have you heard of functional freeze?

• 54:14Brooke Averick?

  I exist in a functional freeze.

• 54:16Connor Wood?

  Has someone else given you like that insight or did you-

• 54:19Brooke Averick?

  Good talk.

• 54:21Connor Wood?

  I mean, this was on Amy's Instagram, but yes. Functional freeze is where you are really high performing, high functioning at work. And then as soon as you're able to go home and relax, like you're like this.

• 54:38Connor Wood?

  Like you've, you've, you just go absolutely cross-eyed, brain doesn't work. You're not reading, you're just literally like your brain shuts off. It's a frozen state. And I just found out like, I will look at the wall for literally 20 minutes and then be like, whoa, what was that? Functional freeze.

• 54:56Brooke Averick?

  I have, I think what I have is more of like functional depression where it's like you don't even like feel depressed. But like, and I can do everything that I have to do. But when it comes to like the little things, it's just like, there's no way. Like there is no way I can pick up that pair of pants that I've walked by 18 times. It's impossible. But like I can go to work and perform well.

• 55:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:18Brooke Averick?

  But like I can't wash my face. I'll die.

• 55:22Connor Wood?

  I get it. Oh my gosh. It reminds me of a saying that I just saw.

• 55:27Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 55:28Connor Wood?

  The weight of life's challenges aren't meant to be paralyzing, they're meant to help you grow. And that's about you picking those pants up.

• 55:35Brooke Averick?

  But like I can do big things. Like I could write a book, I can't pick my pants up.

• 55:40Connor Wood?

  No. Oh, you inspired me by the way. I got a desktop computer.

• 55:44Brooke Averick?

  Oh my God, I want one too.

• 55:46Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's really nice. The only thing is like, as someone-

• 55:49Brooke Averick?

  An iMac?

• 55:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's my parents' old one that they were getting rid of and I-

• 55:53Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 55:54Connor Wood?

  My dad shipped it to me.

• 55:55Brooke Averick?

  That's really sweet.

• 55:56Connor Wood?

  I know. I had to go get a keyboard and it was like-

• 55:58Brooke Averick?

  Where'd you put it?

• 55:58Connor Wood?

  $150, I'm like, I don't want to do this that bad. Um, it's on my dining room table. That's the thing about, you know, I'm not, I'm not having guests over to dine, you know? Like that's a fine place for a computer to be. It is a little bit upsetting though, not to have a desk to put your computer on, because in all this space.

• 56:16Brooke Averick?

  I told you I'm fully redoing that back room to be like a study.

• 56:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah, with that girl, right?

• 56:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. She's gonna redo it all nice and pretty for me and it's gonna be like a reading-

• 56:24Connor Wood?

  When is she doing that?

• 56:25Brooke Averick?

  Uh, January.

• 56:27Connor Wood?

  That's exciting, fresh new start.

• 56:28Brooke Averick?

  Fresh new start. I will say Connor, I got, um, the litter robot for Jonathan, which is like a very expensive robot that scoops the litter for you and empties it into a bin at the bottom so you never have to scoop litter.

• 56:42Connor Wood?

  I get ads for it for some reason.

• 56:43Brooke Averick?

  You just have to take out the bag of, of-

• 56:47Connor Wood?

  Don't tell us that you're not taking the bag of poop out.

• 56:49Brooke Averick?

  I am taking the bag of poop out, but you literally rarely have to, like once every three weeks. And the whole point is that you don't have to scoop litter and it doesn't smell, unfortunately. Mine like literally reeks like beyond belief in a way that is out of this world you wouldn't believe. Um, I think it's Jonathan.

• 57:13Brooke Averick?

  My little sweet baby boy.

• 57:17Brooke Averick?

  Just has like a powerful stomach. So it's been challenging for us and the little robot. Izzy, when you watch him, you just don't have to go in that room at all. Yeah, I just keep it like open to sliver so he can get in and out, but that's his room now.

• 57:31Connor Wood?

  That's disgusting.

• 57:32Brooke Averick?

  And I, I've cleaned it.

• 57:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, he's so, he's the best.

• 57:39Connor Wood?

  Sounds really awesome. He sounds like a great roommate.

• 57:42Brooke Averick?

  No, you haven't even met him yet. He's like, he would be, he's addictive. He's the best boy in the world.

• 57:46Connor Wood?

  Not having an animal in my house is really just killer. Like it's like, why am I here?

• 57:51Brooke Averick?

  He is, I agree. I don't know how I went without a cat for so long.

• 57:55Connor Wood?

  The thing about having a, a dog that's like different is like when I'm outside and I'm walking, it's like this almost feels weird that I'm walking and for what?

• 58:05Brooke Averick?

  Without him?

• 58:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I feel like a pervert without a dog.

• 58:09Brooke Averick?

  Like walking without a purpose?

• 58:10Connor Wood?

  Where are you going?

• 58:12Brooke Averick?

  I wish I could take Jonathan for walks. I guess I could.

• 58:14Connor Wood?

  You could get one of those backpacks.

• 58:16Brooke Averick?

  I'm like so scared to take him out of the house.

• 58:20Connor Wood?

  Yeah, let him get a little bigger and less like spazzy.

• 58:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I think I'm gonna have to get another cat.

• 58:28Connor Wood?

  If you feel called to get another smelly cat?

• 58:31Brooke Averick?

  Smelly cat, smelly cat.

• 58:34Connor Wood?

  Um, I have one thing that I wanted to talk about really quick before we were about to rap.

• 58:38Brooke Averick?

  But he smells so good. It's crazy.

• 58:41Connor Wood?

  Except his ass and stomach in that entire room.

• 58:43Brooke Averick?

  It's just the litter box. He himself smells like a baby.

• 58:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that's nice though. Cause he's on your face and. Making out with your eye?

• 58:53Brooke Averick?

  Not making, don't make it sexual.

• 58:55Connor Wood?

  Oh, sorry, sucking, sucking on your eye, my bad.

• 58:59Connor Wood?

  So, did you see, you, you saw the man on the street interview that I did?

• 59:02Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 59:03Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 59:04Brooke Averick?

  Tell us about it.

• 59:05Connor Wood?

  Well, I saw that you commented, "Oh," by the way, most viewed video on that guy's page, like, what did you, what are your thoughts?

• 59:12Brooke Averick?

  You were being so shy.

• 59:14Connor Wood?

  I was. That was the day that I said I was so hungover, I wanted to die. And I'm, I'm like, literally like, walking, and I'm walking in slow motion, and he's like, "Hey," and I'm like, "Hey, man."

• 59:24Brooke Averick?

  So was that completely, you had no idea he was coming up to you?

• 59:27Connor Wood?

  No, I thought it was, I literally, I've never, I've never seen that guy. I know there's a couple of people that do that now.

• 59:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, there's tons.

• 59:34Connor Wood?

  So, I like, was like, "What?" And he's like, "Oh, what do you do for a living?" And I was like, "Oh my gosh, can't believe we're doing this right now." I said, "I can't believe we're doing this right now," because specifically, I was like, really in, just wanting to,

• 59:46Brooke Averick?

  In a tough spot.

• 59:47Connor Wood?

  Wanting to lay down and be alone, and I was literally walking to get a coffee. And that was gonna wake me up a little bit, a little more perky, but at that point, I was just tired and just like, beat up. And he was asking me all these questions, and I literally couldn't finish a sentence. And I was being timid.

• 1:00:04Brooke Averick?

  You were being timid.

• 1:00:05Connor Wood?

  And shy.

• 1:00:06Brooke Averick?

  And shy.

• 1:00:07Connor Wood?

  But everyone took it as charming, so I'll take it.

• 1:00:09Brooke Averick?

  It was really sweet. I genuinely meant what I said.

• 1:00:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah. What'd you say?

• 1:00:13Brooke Averick?

  Aww. Connor, I really meant it.

• 1:00:16Connor Wood?

  No, I was feeling a little bit, I really was hoping he'd be like, "Hey, man, I'm spreading positivity. Do you, do you wanna hug?" I would've accepted.

• 1:00:23Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 1:00:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Cause it really just needed to be in a Baby Bjorn.

• 1:00:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Brooke Averick?

  I love that video, truly.

• 1:00:30Connor Wood?

  Everyone thinks it was a fake, and I was like, "You think I would fake that timid, shy?"

• 1:00:34Brooke Averick?

  I've never seen you like that.

• 1:00:35Connor Wood?

  I know, I was broken.

• 1:00:37Brooke Averick?

  I love it, though.

• 1:00:38Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that was, that was real funny.

• 1:00:43Connor Wood?

  But everyone was like, "I need you, can't wait to hear about this on the pod," I'm like, "Nothing to say."

• 1:00:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, not much.

• 1:00:49Connor Wood?

  Except, "Ciao."

• 1:00:52Brooke Averick?

  Ciao, Bella.

• 1:00:55Connor Wood?

  I hear a horrible thing that I was thinking about. Teleportation.

• 1:00:59Brooke Averick?

  Why horrible?

• 1:01:00Connor Wood?

  Just like I know that it's gonna be available to us, or not even to us, but like, our grandkids will be like, "You used to go to the airport and fly on a plane, it used to take you all day to get to like, New York." And now they just go, "I'm in Paris."

• 1:01:10Brooke Averick?

  You know what they call that in the Akatar world?

• 1:01:13Connor Wood?

  What?

• 1:01:13Brooke Averick?

  Winnowing.

• 1:01:15Connor Wood?

  What's winnowing?

• 1:01:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:16Connor Wood?

  Okay. It's good to make up words.

• 1:01:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, we know.

• 1:01:22Connor Wood?

  I'm just, you don't think about that? Like, wow, how much technology that people-

• 1:01:24Brooke Averick?

  It's insane. Like, if I had the ability to teleport, I'd never take a step again. I'd never use my legs again.

• 1:01:30Connor Wood?

  Well, you'd have to walk over to your portal. You wouldn't be magic.

• 1:01:32Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I thought I was magic. I'm sorry.

• 1:01:34Connor Wood?

  No. Teleportation, I think, would require a portal.

• 1:01:39Brooke Averick?

  Oh, they're gonna be so expensive. And it's gonna create like another type of like class distinction, like only the rich can teleport.

• 1:01:49Brooke Averick?

  It's gonna create a whole thing.

• 1:01:50Connor Wood?

  I know. Taylor Swift's plane is gonna be without, without meaning, without life. She could do a hundred, a thousand shows in a day.

• 1:01:58Brooke Averick?

  But honestly, maybe it would save a lot of fuel, or maybe it uses 18 times the amount.

• 1:02:03Connor Wood?

  That's the same thing, like, what is it called? Mining of Bitcoin mining or whatever, like, like uses so much fuel. I'm like, how is it using fuel? How is it using fuel? AI uses a lot of fuel. How weird is that?

• 1:02:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I heard that.

• 1:02:17Connor Wood?

  Gas?

• 1:02:20Connor Wood?

  Leave us out of this. Like, a guy with a little bit of a cute, runny nose shouldn't have to worry about fossil fuels, you know?

• 1:02:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. JD.

• 1:02:28Connor Wood?

  I should, I should be able to have some soup.

• 1:02:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Connor Wood?

  Today, oh, I can't say that.

• 1:02:33Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 1:02:34Connor Wood?

  There's just no point. Because I have to say something that would

• 1:02:40Connor Wood?

  here's something that I'll talk about, and I'm gonna quit right here. So I got upgraded on Delta to like, I'm silver medallion now because of how much I've been flying. So it's been, they've been saying, you got upgraded. You got, so for the first time ever in my adult life, my phone lot, lit lot up, lit up and was like, you've been upgraded. I was like, yes. Even though like I got a window seat and I was pretty happy with my seat. But I was like, I love to be upgraded.

• 1:03:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:09Connor Wood?

  It was for a connecting flight. The first flight was at 6 a.m. out of Indianapolis to St. Louis.

• 1:03:16Brooke Averick?

  Was it one of those planes that were like this big?

• 1:03:19Connor Wood?

  Small plane, but they moved me up to a middle seat.

• 1:03:21Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23Connor Wood?

  Like, front row, middle seat, rear seat, like, everyone's looking at me and I'm sitting in between two people.

• 1:03:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Connor Wood?

  And I was like, wow.

• 1:03:30Brooke Averick?

  Thank you.

• 1:03:31Connor Wood?

  This sucks, but like, learning moment, like, I'm not gonna opt in to the upgrade anymore.

• 1:03:37Connor Wood?

  So, lesson learned. Next flight. You've been upgraded. Immediately, my experience has left my brain. I'm like, yeah, I'm upgraded!

• 1:03:48Connor Wood?

  Middle seat, exact same seat, middle seat, next to the bathroom this time.

• 1:03:57Connor Wood?

  And the worst part is that there was no overhead space for me there, so I had to put my bag in the back in the overhead space.

• 1:04:08Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god.

• 1:04:08Connor Wood?

  And so I was sitting there, middle seat, middle seat, middle seat, couldn't even get off the plane, which was the one benefit for being upgraded for me, was that I could get off earlier. Couldn't even, waited till the very end.

• 1:04:17Brooke Averick?

  Connor, that's really funny.

• 1:04:18Connor Wood?

  It felt like I was like on a show, like punked.

• 1:04:22Brooke Averick?

  I don't have anything else to say besides that's hysterical.

• 1:04:25Connor Wood?

  It was crazy.

• 1:04:26Brooke Averick?

  I like that you did it again. That's my favorite part of the story.

• 1:04:31Connor Wood?

  Just immediately, I was like, ee, ee, ee, I'm okay.

• 1:04:36Brooke Averick?

  I feel like there's an episode of SpongeBob like that or something.

• 1:04:39Connor Wood?

  Like immediately forget everything bad that, and it was like, and it was a tight connection, it was sort of like I got off the plane, walked to the other gate, got a water bottle and got on the plane immediately, I'm like, ah, I'm so lucky.

• 1:04:51Brooke Averick?

  I love that.

• 1:04:53Connor Wood?

  Did you see Spirit Airlines filed for bankruptcy this morning?

• 1:04:55Brooke Averick?

  I did. I thought that was a few days ago.

• 1:04:57Connor Wood?

  Oh, could have been.

• 1:04:58Brooke Averick?

  Maybe they were talking about it a few days ago.

• 1:05:00Connor Wood?

  Cause I got the email today from their founder.

• 1:05:04Brooke Averick?

  So what exactly does that mean for them?

• 1:05:06Connor Wood?

  Ted Christie emailed me. Um, it just means the same thing as anyone like filing bankruptcy, it just means like it gets you out of your debt temporarily. I think that's what bankruptcy is. I declare bankruptcy. I've been watching a lot of The Office.

• 1:05:21Brooke Averick?

  Me too.

• 1:05:22Connor Wood?

  I've been in hotels and like, that's a comfort show in a hotel, it's just like on every block of TV, on TV Guide, it's like, office, office, office, office, office, and Modern Family, Modern Family, Modern Family, Modern Family.

• 1:05:33Brooke Averick?

  Modern Family.

• 1:05:35Connor Wood?

  I don't have the affinity towards Jim and Pam that you have. I have like, get the hell away from me.

• 1:05:39Brooke Averick?

  I'm not like. Obsessed me on belief with them. I'm not like a huge Pam girl.

• 1:05:43Connor Wood?

  I think Jim is a like a narcissistic dick that like loves himself.

• 1:05:48Brooke Averick?

  In season nine only.

• 1:05:50Connor Wood?

  I don't know the whole time.

• 1:05:51Brooke Averick?

  Or eight, is it eight or nine?

• 1:05:52Connor Wood?

  He's just really smug. Jimmy's just really smug to me.

• 1:05:54Brooke Averick?

  He's smudging arrogant.

• 1:05:56Connor Wood?

  Smug, smug and arrogant.

• 1:05:57Brooke Averick?

  Smudge.

• 1:05:58Connor Wood?

  Smudge?

• 1:05:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:00Connor Wood?

  No.

• 1:06:01Brooke Averick?

  Have you not seen the butt licker scene? That's the best scene in all of the office.

• 1:06:04Connor Wood?

  We'll have to watch in bonus.

• 1:06:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I'd like to watch butt licker in the office.

• 1:06:06Connor Wood?

  Okay, let's watch butt licker. We'll just close this off by saying butt licker and also welcome to Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast.

• 1:06:13Brooke Averick?

  As always.

• 1:06:14Connor Wood?

  And goodbye.

• 1:06:15Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna do an eye patch for the bonus makeshift.

• 1:06:18Connor Wood?

  Okay, cool.

• 1:06:18Brooke Averick?

  Okay, cool.

• 1:06:19Connor Wood?

  So join us at the bonus if you want to. I'm not gonna ask you guys again. Subscribe to the YouTube channel. This is some sick and twisted joke. This, the fact that we can't hit.

• 1:06:30Brooke Averick?

  Please get Connor his plaque.

• 1:06:32Connor Wood?

  I just want the effing plaque. Cause now you know that YouTube made them smaller now. So we don't even get the big one. So like I feel like.

• 1:06:38Brooke Averick?

  Please, before it gets any smaller.

• 1:06:40Connor Wood?

  It's just gonna keep getting smaller until it's just like a pin on my shirt, like a brooch. And I would still would love that as well.

• 1:06:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Connor Wood?

  It's okay to just subscribe.

• 1:06:49Brooke Averick?

  Sometimes that's okay.

• 1:06:51Connor Wood?

  Let me see, we're at 90,000. So just like.

• 1:06:54Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 1:06:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it would just be great if 10,000 of you could simply push a button.

• 1:06:58Brooke Averick?

  We would appreciate it.

• 1:06:59Connor Wood?

  And guess what? Our new YouTube video by today, it'll be a little bit of old news, but not for you if you're hearing about it for the first time. We have a YouTube video out right now. It's Brooke and Connor Make a Game Show. We, um.

• 1:07:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so you could say that again.

• 1:07:15Connor Wood?

  Izzy literally brought in like a bunch of kids for us to do this. So go watch it. It's absolutely hilarious. They're Loki.

• 1:07:21Brooke Averick?

  It was so fun.

• 1:07:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we kicked their butts.

• 1:07:25Brooke Averick?

  It was so fun.

• 1:07:26Connor Wood?

  But.

• 1:07:27Brooke Averick?

  Truly. It was nice to be teacher Brooke again for a second.

• 1:07:29Connor Wood?

  You were teacher Brooke. I absolutely couldn't finish a sentence. I.

• 1:07:32Brooke Averick?

  Oh, no one could.

• 1:07:33Connor Wood?

  I knew a couple of the answers.

• 1:07:35Brooke Averick?

  Definitely knew a couple.

• 1:07:36Connor Wood?

  Go check it out. It's pretty funny.

• 1:07:39Brooke Averick?

  Okay, love you.

• 1:07:40Connor Wood?

  Bye you guys. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next week, even though we're recording it tomorrow. Bye.

• 1:07:45Brooke Averick?

  Bye. This week on Close Friends.

• 1:07:49Connor Wood?

  Don't finger your tooth holes with your tongue.

• 1:07:51Brooke Averick?

  Not lettuce, tomato, oil.

• 1:07:54Connor Wood?

  You see them once and then you're like, I need to fuck them.

• 1:07:57Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I don't think of things as problems.

• 1:07:59Connor Wood?

  But you like to complain?

• 1:08:00Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 1:08:01Connor Wood?

  If you're sitting at the fridge, fisting dill pickles.

• 1:08:04Brooke Averick?

  You did, you cracked the code. Congratulations.

• 1:08:06Connor Wood?

  Sure, I'll.

• 1:08:07Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 1:08:07Connor Wood?

  Give you a handjob.

• 1:08:11Connor Wood?

  Sign up on TMGstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.

• 1:08:21Speaker 00

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• 1:08:51Speaker 01

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• 1:09:21Speaker 07

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