Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 740: Ten Percent Kissy Face About this episode Hold onto your Shakespeare books, we’re about the turn the whole gym industry on its head by telling people that there’s heavy stuff everywhere! We’re also disrupting the wine industry with unconventional fruits, and the chocolate industry with extra-joyful Santas.
Suggested talking points: Powered By Mold, Public Service Emmy, Shook Like Wet Spaghetti, Brie My Guest, No Joke Food in My House
Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/
Transcript 10,601 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
0:21 Speaker 01 It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, attracted into a precious friendship.
0:33 Speaker 01 I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you.
1:10 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me. It's an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What is up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis Big Dog Wolf Wolf McElroy.
1:24 Griffin McElroy? What is also up? Trav Nation, I am the sweet baby brother. Are we trying to see, is it like a game to see how long a pregnant, pregnant pause we can get going in here or?
1:36 Travis McElroy? I'm taking this very seriously. I need to address, there's some controversies surrounding. So as everyone in Trav Nation knows, I've released my line of yogurt, Pro Gert, the first and only shelf-stable yogurt.
1:54 Griffin McElroy? Now, how did you accomplish?
1:55 Travis McElroy? I'm not done. Made for gamers by gamers.
2:00 Griffin McElroy? Gamers made it?
2:01 Travis McElroy? Available exclusively at GameStop.
2:02 Griffin McElroy? Gamers made the yogurt at GameStop?
2:05 Travis McElroy? They didn't make it at GameStop, it was just available exclusively.
2:07 Travis McElroy? Where'd they make it, at your?
2:09 Griffin McElroy? I thought GameStop-
2:09 Travis McElroy? Well, in my laboratories.
2:11 Griffin McElroy? I thought GameStop had started to host sort of yogurt workshops.
2:14 Travis McElroy? No, no, no, no.
2:15 Griffin McElroy? And that's my mistake for assuming that.
2:17 Travis McElroy? Um, and there's been some videos going around of people opening both the Sonic Strawberry Slam and Master Chief's Mango Madness and finding mold inside.
2:27 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
2:28 Travis McElroy? Mango mold, master mold, or just regular mold?
2:31 Travis McElroy? As far as we can tell, regular mold.
2:33 Griffin McElroy? Is it the flood, is it the dang flood again? Getting, getting stinky up there? Causing all kinds of chaos?
2:38 Travis McElroy? Griff, I'm sorry, that's really tasteless. Much like the yogurt itself, Griffin, that's utterly tasteless.
2:45 Griffin McElroy? You're right, that was a poor joke, and it was made at the expense of my brother Travis and the-
2:50 Travis McElroy? Thank you.
2:50 Griffin McElroy? And the countless dead because of this moldy shelf-stable-
2:55 Travis McElroy? And the Travatars.
2:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
2:56 Travis McElroy? Like, don't forget about, they, they rely on-
2:58 Griffin McElroy? What are those?
2:59 Travis McElroy? They're the citizens of Trav Nation, I thought they were Travatars?
3:02 Travis McElroy? Well, those are actually, Travatars are half Trav Nation citizens, half normal citizens.
3:07 Griffin McElroy? They walk, they have-
3:08 Travis McElroy? Half Na'Vi.
3:09 Travis McElroy? Yeah, half Na'Vi, and-
3:10 Travis McElroy? The Na'Vi citizens of Trav Nation are called Travatars.
3:13 Griffin McElroy? So, so the, the shelf stability, it sounds like, is maybe a marketing bullet point? And not a-
3:21 Travis McElroy? Well, I, I spoke with my team of Sigma scientists who have their PhDs in gamer gastronomy, and they have informed me-
3:30 Travis McElroy? PhD in GG.
3:31 Travis McElroy? Yeah, they, they have informed me-
3:33 Travis McElroy? It was a good game.
3:34 Travis McElroy? That the mold is part of it.
3:36 Griffin McElroy? The mold is part of the-
3:37 Travis McElroy? Like, blue cheese.
3:38 Travis McElroy? It's intentional, um, that gamers need the mold, uh, to power them.
3:44 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
3:44 Travis McElroy? And they also said it probably has penicillin in it-
3:48 Griffin McElroy? That's cool.
3:48 Travis McElroy? And will make them healthier, so it's totally fine.
3:51 Griffin McElroy? Increase, increase reaction time?
3:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah, definitely, up your KD.
3:56 Griffin McElroy? Up your KD. Um, that's huge, Trav. Congrats. It sounds like this is a good thing. I don't know why you're like announcing this like it's a bad thing.
4:03 Travis McElroy? There's also some people who have claimed that we didn't obtain any kind of licensing rights for Sonic or Master Chief.
4:10 Griffin McElroy? Don't need to. You're in Trav Nation. You don't have copyright law there.
4:14 Travis McElroy? What the thing is, I'm very close, personal friends with both Sonic and Master Chief and I, they actually worked very closely to develop these flavors with me and they told me that it was totally fine to use their names and likenesses and there was no need to get lawyers involved.
4:27 Griffin McElroy? Right. Travis, I've had to tell you this a million times. I cannot believe I'm having to tell you a million and first time, but just because you know two drug dealers named Sonic and Master Chief, doesn't mean you know the real Sonic and Master Chief.
4:40 Travis McElroy? One of them is Blue.
4:41 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. No, I know. It's Master Chief, which is weird.
4:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah. But they're nice guys.
4:47 Griffin McElroy? They're nice guys, but they're drug dealers and they're not your, they're not the mascots for Sega and Microsoft, respectively.
4:54 Travis McElroy? It does.
4:54 Griffin McElroy? They can't give you permission.
4:55 Travis McElroy? If you look, it does ver- if you look very closely on the packaging, it does say A Sonic's Strawberry Slam and A Master Chief. So the A is very small, but it is there. So legally, my Sigma lawyers who also have their law degrees in gamer gastronomy, tell me that it's totally fine and say.
5:13 Griffin McElroy? It says Master Chief, C-H-E-I-F. And that's, you get away with it.
5:17 Travis McElroy? The biggest innovation I would love to see in kids yogurt and kids food is I want brands to start having flavors. I want like every frozen three thing to taste the same. So it's like, if it's frozen three, like liqueur, frozen three cereal, frozen three, whatever, it all has the same berry black.
5:35 Travis McElroy? Cherry cordial.
5:36 Travis McElroy? Yeah, cherry cordial. It's all of it's cherry.
5:38 Travis McElroy? I want to make it clear just off of Justin said, kids should not eat Pro Gert. It's actually formulated for 18 up. Um, if kids eat it, we don't, we don't know what will happen.
5:50 Griffin McElroy? It will overwrite your gut ecosystem entirely. And if you're 18, you can handle that kind of wild switcheroo. Uh, if you're six and you down this Pro Gert, all of a sudden your stomach's going to be like, okay, I'm ready to digest corn nuts now and you're like. Like, I don't, I don't eat those.
6:08 Travis McElroy? Here's six, you can't get in there and start flashing middleware.
6:11 Griffin McElroy? And you need, you need that stuff in the library.
6:13 Travis McElroy? We've heard from some people that, um, namely the FDA, that we should have listed that on the packaging somewhere.
6:19 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
6:20 Travis McElroy? But we figured that by putting very grown up figures like Master Chief and Sonic on there, it would be clear like, these are for adults who like Sonic and Master Chief. These things are for kids, clearly.
6:31 Griffin McElroy? Traditionally Sonic games are rated E. I believe Shadow of the Hedgehog was E10 plus because of guns. Which is cool that we do that 10 year olds and Sonic and guns is like, you can handle that.
6:44 Travis McElroy? Kids don't play video games. Where would they get the money to buy AAA video games?
6:48 Griffin McElroy? Um, lawn mower, lawn mowing.
6:52 Travis McElroy? Well, at that point, I think legally they're considered, at least for gastronomy purposes. Yeah, for gastronomy purposes, if you're earning a wage because child labor is illegal. So if you're earning a wage,
7:02 Griffin McElroy? Right.
7:03 Travis McElroy? are gastronomy, gastronomically speaking, an adult.
7:07 Griffin McElroy? Right. Yeah. Okay.
7:09 Travis McElroy? Trav.
7:10 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
7:11 Travis McElroy? What do you think Off-Broadway is like?
7:15 Travis McElroy? What do I think Off-Broadway is like?
7:16 Griffin McElroy? You're there now. Let's set the stage. You're set the stage appropriately enough. You're there now. I mean, you're not right now because we're recording this like a week and a half in advance, but
7:24 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
7:24 Griffin McElroy? you're there now when people are listening to this. Are you rubbing elbows with Jackman?
7:30 Travis McElroy? If you don't know the context here, Travis, due to the hard labor of superstar agent Joel Beglatter is being allowed to perform Off-Broadway with the 20 sided tavern. Plenty of good seats available.
7:43 Travis McElroy? Well, you say hard labor, but when I reached out to him, I was like, hey, this sounds fun. How do I get in there? He's like, oh, they actually reached out to me about it a while ago. Do you want to do it? So I don't know how much hard labor.
7:53 Griffin McElroy? Crazy timing. I just actually heard Travis's muscles flex when he said that. It says like a, a leather.
8:00 Travis McElroy? I would never want to do this thing that you're doing, which sounds like my hell. So how did you prepare yourself for it?
8:06 Travis McElroy? Well, I figure Off-Broadway is a lot like Broadway, but like a slightly darker shade. Like there's a little more tint to it. So it's not quite Broadway. Then there's Eggshell Broadway.
8:16 Griffin McElroy? Right.
8:17 Travis McElroy? And
8:18 Griffin McElroy? Is this the kind of heat that you're gonna bring to Broadway?
8:20 Travis McElroy? No, I wouldn't waste my off Broadway heat here on the show. This is all my snickle.
8:25 Travis McElroy? Can you give some people a sample of what they like?
8:28 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
8:28 Travis McElroy? I think it's gonna be weird for people to.
8:31 Griffin McElroy? This is the second my bimbam in a row where you have busted out.
8:34 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's maybe the only song he knows.
8:37 Travis McElroy? It is the only song in the world that I know. I don't have any room for any other ones. I've got all these cheat codes for Sonic and Master Chief in there.
8:44 Travis McElroy? What, Travis, what are you, what? Okay. You've been doing stage shows, live, live stage shows for over a hundred times now. You've gotten out there. What do you think the biggest difference is gonna be between your usual setup? What, which of your exacting demands will they not be ready for?
9:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
9:04 Travis McElroy? I imagine there won't be a vegetable tray backstage that I claim will definitely be necessary, but then we never touch. So I don't think that will happen. I don't think dad will be there on stage with me and that would be different.
9:15 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
9:15 Travis McElroy? Not having my dad.
9:16 Griffin McElroy? That's funny that you didn't say Justin and I won't be there on stage. We won't be there on stage with you.
9:20 Travis McElroy? What? Wait, what do you mean?
9:23 Griffin McElroy? They wouldn't let us do it.
9:24 Speaker 05 They wouldn't let me do all the different voices.
9:26 Travis McElroy? Wait, I have to, wait.
9:28 Griffin McElroy? You're a solo actor.
9:29 Travis McElroy? Wait, I have to perform in front of a crowd without you guys there?
9:32 Griffin McElroy? That's right, Travis.
9:32 Travis McElroy? It's gonna be your own, you're gonna fly.
9:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, no, it's not gonna be.
9:35 Travis McElroy? Do you want us to write anything for you right now? We could write you some jokes.
9:38 Travis McElroy? Yeah, if you could give me some D and D, but Broadway specific.
9:41 Griffin McElroy? I've got this idea for a character named The Jizzard. He's a sorcerer and he is crude and rude. He is struggling with his impotence.
9:56 Travis McElroy? Struggling with, he wishes he was more impotent?
9:59 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
10:00 Travis McElroy? Okay. He's too potent.
10:02 Griffin McElroy? I'm not gonna fill in all the fucking gaps for you to improvisational show.
10:06 Travis McElroy? Yes, yes, yes. Justin, could you give me something?
10:08 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I, one thing that I have noticed in every single Broadway show ever, and I don't know that they've had this in Twenty Side of Tavern, and it could be the last thing they need to get him over on the on Broadway.
10:20 Travis McElroy? Right.
10:20 Travis McElroy? Is just you gotta say something about being in New York and how much you love being in New York.
10:25 Griffin McElroy? Fuck, yeah, dude.
10:26 Travis McElroy? All the great ones are like. Like, think about, I mean, obviously, everybody's mind jumps to Spider-Man: Here or Off the Dark. Like, all the freaks are here tonight in New York City. Like, shouting out the Big Apple is gonna get you, I don't know, can you maybe, you know what would be really good, Travis? Is if you could find a growing potion and use it on an apple?
10:43 Travis McElroy? Oh, I love that.
10:44 Travis McElroy? And then look at how, like, hubba hubba.
10:46 Travis McElroy? I love this Big Apple. I wanna take a bite out of it.
10:48 Griffin McElroy? It is improvisational, right? So you can pick up a stone from the ground and be like, whoa, this is the New York teleportation stone. And you rub it and you're like, and now the scene is in New York City, the greatest city in the world.
11:00 Travis McElroy? Can I tell you what's amazing about this, boys? Is that we're recording this ahead of time, and then I assume all of Travis Nation's gonna show up, watch the show. And then they'll hear this episode after my run is done, and they'll be like, that's where all the magic came from. That's why he talked about the Big Apple and the teleportation stone.
11:17 Griffin McElroy? That's why every show, every one of his shows, Travis found a magic New York teleportation stone. He dragged the rest of the cast kicking and screaming to a enchanted-esque New York City fantasy vacation.
11:31 Travis McElroy? And this is good, too, because when I portray the jizzard on stage, I'm not gonna give it any background. I'm not gonna explain it at all, but now they'll know here, like, oh, that's, that's everything I need to know about the jizzard.
11:44 Travis McElroy? They do love that meta humor.
11:46 Griffin McElroy? I, obviously, got my Oscar for my involvement in Mitchell's vs. the Machines, an Oscar award-winning movie that I contributed one to two lines of dialogue to.
11:57 Travis McElroy? And Justin and I were cut from, yes.
11:59 Griffin McElroy? And Justin and you were cut from. But listen, I think of us as a unit, right? So like, we have an Oscar. If you can secure the Tony on this one, if you can pull down an Anthony for us, all of a sudden, we're halfway there, aren't we? We gotta get Grammy to- all we do is audio shit.
12:15 Travis McElroy? It's weird that we don't have a Grammy.
12:17 Griffin McElroy? Because we haven't applied ourselves yet to getting a Grammy. We could totally do that if we wanted to.
12:22 Travis McElroy? And we've several times been nominated for iHeart Radio's Best Ad Reads, so I don't know if that fits in there.
12:28 Griffin McElroy? You know what? Piece on the Playground, which predates this, this particular entertainment program.
12:34 Travis McElroy? By a few years, yeah.
12:35 Griffin McElroy? By a hundred years, which was a- A public service sort of special that me and dad did to curb playground violence. Piece on the playground.
12:44 Travis McElroy? And you did it, by the way.
12:44 Griffin McElroy? And I did it, fucking crushed it. Won a public service Emmy that is in director Chuck Minsker's house. So that's EO. You get the, Justin, I think you gotta pull the Grammy down, man. Just to kind of like.
12:57 Travis McElroy? Oh, man, I got that Twitter award. I got a Twitter award. Remember when I had that Twitter award?
13:01 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's true. A shorty, was that what it was called?
13:03 Travis McElroy? A shorty award, thank you, Travis. Oh, OK, I have a.
13:06 Travis McElroy? I've got a YouTube play button.
13:07 Travis McElroy? I've got a, that's ours. I got a local business, uh, reporting AP award for the state of Ohio for best business reporting.
13:16 Griffin McElroy? OK.
13:17 Travis McElroy? So I need to get a Pulitzer?
13:19 Griffin McElroy? Cool. And I've got a paper tie that my son wrote number one dad comedian on it. Does that?
13:24 Travis McElroy? That's very good.
13:25 Griffin McElroy? Are we just listing everything that we have?
13:27 Travis McElroy? I got that, I got the MacArthur Genius Grant to create, uh, Abimals. So there's that.
13:34 Griffin McElroy? How did you spend all that? That comes with so much money.
13:38 Travis McElroy? A lot of it went into the research and development for Progurt, um, if I'm being honest.
13:43 Griffin McElroy? That's embezzlement from us.
13:45 Travis McElroy? Griffin, you know, Mitchell's versus the machines didn't win, right?
13:48 Griffin McElroy? It did, didn't it? I think it won for some category, best, best, like coolest animation. I think it won for some.
13:53 Travis McElroy? Best off-screen dialogue.
13:56 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. You don't think it won?
13:58 Travis McElroy? Best cut. Best cut, best cut brothers.
14:01 Travis McElroy? Best cut brothers.
14:02 Travis McElroy? We had our jobs replaced by AI on that one, so. Computers took our jobs.
14:08 Griffin McElroy? You know what? We were nominated for that one. We were nominated for best animated feature film.
14:13 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's an honor.
14:14 Griffin McElroy? We did lose to Encanto.
14:16 Travis McElroy? Uh, well.
14:16 Travis McElroy? Oh, yeah, well, we do want to get the record straight on that.
14:19 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
14:20 Travis McElroy? We weren't in Encanto?
14:22 Travis McElroy? No, but we inspired it, most of it, I feel like. It's very much.
14:25 Travis McElroy? There's a lot of in-jokes in there.
14:27 Griffin McElroy? What did, what did we win? We won a fucking Houston Film Critics Society Awards 2021.
14:34 Travis McElroy? That's the Oscars of Houston.
14:36 Griffin McElroy? That's the Houston Oscars, basically.
14:37 Travis McElroy? I mean, Mike and Jeff won best screenplay at the Hollywood Critics Association.
14:41 Griffin McElroy? I think that's gotta give us something. And then the TV show we did. Probably want to Emmy himself.
14:47 Travis McElroy? What are you still doing? Can we answer questions?
14:50 Griffin McElroy? Please, I would love to. I would love to.
14:51 Travis McElroy? Spinning wildly in our failures.
14:54 Griffin McElroy? I'm so tired. I'm so tired.
14:55 Travis McElroy? I know. I know. But when you feel that way, Griffin, just let, just hop on my back, man. You know, just let Travis and I.
15:02 Griffin McElroy? Sleepover energy sometimes.
15:03 Travis McElroy? Have you tried eating some ProGret, Griffin? Because it's shown to increase energy level in adults, in adults.
15:10 Griffin McElroy? Eating ProGret would only help me insofar as it would make me as sick as my son. And when that happens all of a sudden.
15:16 Travis McElroy? That only happens sometimes.
15:17 Griffin McElroy? That, when that happens, the buck no longer stops completely at me. I can sort of push off some of my, but the, I'm gonna be on the toilet forever.
15:26 Travis McElroy? Yeah, the buck does not stop when you eat ProGret. That's actually one of our, we've taken that and turned it into a slogan.
15:32 Griffin McElroy? Just waiting on you to read a question, Juice.
15:33 Travis McElroy? Travis, will you go in the mornings, like from door to door, agent to agent? Just try to get somebody to give you a shot, you know what I mean?
15:43 Travis McElroy? Oh, while I'm in New York?
15:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah, or are you gonna be like a waiter? Are you gonna be a waiter during the day?
15:48 Travis McElroy? I'm flying there, but then I'm gonna leave the city and I'm gonna get on a bus. And then I'm gonna arrive in my straw hat with my suitcase.
15:55 Griffin McElroy? You're coming back, you're leaving NYC and then you're coming back to NYC in a straw hat?
15:59 Travis McElroy? His car will already be there.
16:00 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
16:01 Travis McElroy? Think about it.
16:02 Griffin McElroy? Cool.
16:02 Travis McElroy? I hired a whole flash mob to do a scene, so it's gonna be good.
16:06 Griffin McElroy? Great.
16:07 Travis McElroy? All right, well, let's get, let's answer some questions. We can still help people. Travis hasn't lost all perspective.
16:13 Travis McElroy? I've lost some.
16:14 Travis McElroy? You've lost some.
16:15 Travis McElroy? My new glasses are pretty dark, so it does make it a little hard.
16:18 Travis McElroy? I'm a chocolatier. My boss decided not to consult me on what seasonal shapes we're making this year. The problem is they picked out a chocolate lollipop that stick comes out between Santa's legs, looking like a Santa has a huge dick.
16:31 Travis McElroy? Nice.
16:32 Travis McElroy? Now my friends at Philly tell me they all want for Christmas is a big dick Santa. How do I buy large amounts of this lollipop without the old ladies who run the storefront? Asking why I want so many of the specific items that's from Santa's Schlong Sculder in Florida.
16:48 Griffin McElroy? I
16:48 Travis McElroy? Is there a pic like?
16:50 Griffin McElroy? There's not a pic and that's criminal because I gotta know the diameter of this stick.
16:53 Travis McElroy? It actually got censored. My safe search wouldn't let me save the image.
16:58 Griffin McElroy? Download the JPEG. I feel you. I don't know that this would, if it's a traditional pops, you know, I almost called it a pop stick because that's what our kids call it. It's a traditional lollipop stick size, then it would actually look like Santa had an extraordinarily long, profoundly skinny dick. And I don't think that that is just based on what I know about the man and his sort of like generally accepted fictional proportions. I don't think that's what it's, I don't think that's what it is.
17:25 Travis McElroy? You would rather see a Santa with a big fat dong.
17:28 Griffin McElroy? It's either big all around or a chode city, but it's definitely not whatever kind of proportions this pop stick stick is. No way.
17:36 Travis McElroy? And when he laughed, his dick shook like a wet spaghetti.
17:40 Griffin McElroy? Shame on me for thinking about Santa Claus's hose-like, brilliant, white, ivory-white dick.
17:47 Travis McElroy? It looks like you could charm it with a pan flute. It's insane.
17:51 Travis McElroy? Rock hard in a downward direction too. It would be weirder, I guess.
17:56 Travis McElroy? It looks like he's looking for a water supply.
17:59 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
18:00 Griffin McElroy? Okay, so how do you buy large amounts of this lollipop without the old ladies who run the storefront asking why you want so many of this specific item? It's a Santa Claus holiday-themed chocolate lollipop from the chocolate shop you work at. To me, this seems like a pretty easy thing to do. I don't think the old ladies are gonna be like, you only want this because of the dick, don't you? I talked to you right away.
18:20 Travis McElroy? There is the risk that every other worker besides the manager has like, been like, oh, that's the dick Santa. And then you go up and you're like, I would like 24 of the Santa lollipops. And they're like, why are you buying 24 of the dick Santas? Like even the old ladies know.
18:34 Travis McElroy? We all know.
18:35 Griffin McElroy? Old ladies do love rude, like comedy stuff sometimes.
18:41 Travis McElroy? That's why 90% of our audience is over the age of 75.
18:44 Griffin McElroy? God, I fucking wish. They would get so many more of our references if that were true. Oh, man.
18:49 Travis McElroy? I, yeah, like, absolutely. Like, the lady who works at the Old Village Roaster down next to Keith Albee, she's got a sign up that says, "You don't have to be nuts to work here, but it helps." My kids, my kids.
19:04 Travis McElroy? You gotta warn me before you drop something like that.
19:06 Travis McElroy? My kids come in here, Vicki, you can't have that kind of racism.
19:10 Travis McElroy? I get it.
19:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:12 Travis McElroy? Do you think it does help? I don't think it would.
19:15 Griffin McElroy? What, being nut, being nuts?
19:16 Travis McElroy? Being nuts?
19:17 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:17 Travis McElroy? I don't, I wouldn't think so, no.
19:19 Griffin McElroy? I mean, what does that mean? I don't wanna get too deep into this category, I guess.
19:24 Travis McElroy? Bonkers was totally nuts, and I don't think it helped Bonkers do his job.
19:27 Travis McElroy? What if you told them you were opening a franchise? A small
19:32 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
19:33 Travis McElroy? mall kiosk
19:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:34 Travis McElroy? franchise
19:35 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:35 Travis McElroy? of this chocolate place. So you're gonna open up a, you tell them you're opening up a satellite at the mall.
19:41 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
19:41 Travis McElroy? Cause it's gonna, there's been a big demand at the mall for these special Santas. It's a holiday item.
19:46 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:47 Travis McElroy? And they're going fast at the mall.
19:48 Griffin McElroy? Opening next to-
19:49 Travis McElroy? I had a bag of five at the mall. People stopped me. They said, "Where can I buy one of those?" He said, "They're not resaled at the mall." They lost their fucking minds.
19:57 Griffin McElroy? You could set up your booth right at the exit of the mall Santa photo booth situation.
20:04 Griffin McElroy? And been like, "Hey, parents, hey, parents." "Parents, did you like that? If you liked that, parents, you'll like this for sure."
20:11 Travis McElroy? Maybe so.
20:13 Griffin McElroy? You don't even have to sell the lollipops. You can just have one in a little box with a hole on it. And you can say $10, and you can have a little peek at Santa Claus's rude memory.
20:23 Travis McElroy? Not everything has to be for your stupid kids.
20:25 Griffin McElroy? No.
20:25 Travis McElroy? You know, you can still enjoy something just for you.
20:28 Griffin McElroy? That's right. You can't sell these in good conscience. You can't sell these. If, there could be lots of people who get their hands on this, and all of a sudden, that's the whole car ride home is talking about, "Well, that looks like a very long penis of Santa Claus." You can't, you can't sell these, and it's up to you to get all of them and melt them in a big oven.
20:50 Travis McElroy? Sorry.
20:50 Griffin McElroy? And say-
20:51 Travis McElroy? Destroy them.
20:51 Griffin McElroy? And say, "We had to start over," and this time you put the stick coming out of his neck? And he's like doing like a poppin' lot like he's doing like some groundwork like a breakdancer. I don't think there's a good version of it.
21:04 Travis McElroy? It's coming out of one hand and it's like he's shooting a laser beam.
21:07 Griffin McElroy? You could have Santa Claus.
21:09 Travis McElroy? Santa Claus is Iron Man, guys. Think about it.
21:11 Griffin McElroy? That's cool. You could also have Santa Claus arched backwards like this and then have the stick going straight through his chest and out the other side.
21:20 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
21:20 Griffin McElroy? And so it's like he's been impaled by a spear or something like that. And then you can just kinda turn it like a corn cob. There's so many great ways to make lollipops. I think lollipop makers are.
21:31 Travis McElroy? Santa pole dancing.
21:33 Griffin McElroy? Santa pole dancing is sexy and cool. That's sexy in a way that I think is tasteful.
21:37 Travis McElroy? Yeah, very much so.
21:38 Griffin McElroy? There's a lot of people who do that for their health now and not to be erotic in any way. And I think that's fucking cool.
21:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
21:44 Travis McElroy? Uh, how about another question?
21:46 Travis McElroy? Yes, please.
21:47 Travis McElroy? I'm a PhD student in English literature and as part of the role, I am teaching assistant at an undergraduate class on Shakespeare. I also started working out recently and have seen a few of my students at the gym. They're all much stronger and more experienced than I am. Can I ask them for tips on how to help me get stronger? Alternatively, can I make it part of their grade to avoid acknowledging my presence at all costs? That's from learning in the lecture hall or sorry, learning in the iron lecture hall. And I have to say, learning in the iron lecture hall, one interesting collection of facts you've chosen both relevant and not to your query. Just a, it's a delightful paprika of, uh, information.
22:24 Travis McElroy? I also thoroughly, uh, enjoy you giving us the two options of how do I, one, ask for help or two, make it illegal for them to see me.
22:34 Griffin McElroy? Right. Which is the easier version of it. I don't think you can do this. I don't think you can ask a student for help with anything. Cause then all of a sudden.
22:45 Travis McElroy? The power dynamic, is it?
22:47 Griffin McElroy? Well, yeah, all of a sudden now you're the student. And then you show up to class the next day and they rip your corduroy jacket off of you. And they rip off your little cool sling bag and they say, this is mine now because I taught you. At the gym, the roles have reversed. Sit your butt down. Othello, one of Shakespeare's funniest plays. Like, they don't know any, they don't know what they're doing once they get up there. But they're the teacher now.
23:14 Travis McElroy? What if you, though, made this into like a Finding Forrester kind of situation, right? Where you find somewhere where the, the combination of a student who's not doing well, but is very strong and good at gym. And you said, hey, I'm gonna meet you where you're at. Let's go to the gym together. And while I work out and you kind of tell me, I'm gonna use that as like, now imagine, I'm Hamlet and you're like, the ghost of Hamlet's dad. See, you get it? Also, how many like, reps should Hamlet be doing? And what weight his dad, do you think?
23:49 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, that would, I don't feel like I was just enriched.
23:52 Travis McElroy? Gym stuff, it starts to get, yeah.
23:55 Travis McElroy? Could you lift heavy Shakespeare books?
23:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I mean, you could, but that's free. I don't need to go to the gym to do that. My books are at home.
24:02 Griffin McElroy? Wait a minute. Are we about to put the whole gym industry out of business?
24:05 Travis McElroy? Hey, folks, look around you. There's heavy things everywhere.
24:08 Griffin McElroy? All over.
24:09 Travis McElroy? Heavy stuff everywhere.
24:10 Griffin McElroy? You can run pretty much wherever you want.
24:13 Travis McElroy? You know, the, uh, the, the material here in Merchant of Venice is some pretty heavy stuff. And you know what else is pretty heavy? Weights. Am I right, guys? Now, watch as I curl this big book and you guys tell me what I'm doing wrong. And then I'll tell you what they did wrong in Merchant of Venice.
24:31 Travis McElroy? So if you, if the kid tricks you, makes themselves the teacher and then you're the student.
24:37 Travis McElroy? That's the risk.
24:38 Travis McElroy? Is it, is there a way to trick them, I guess, into letting you?
24:42 Griffin McElroy? It's the only way to keep your fucking job.
24:44 Travis McElroy? I mean, how can you get them? How can you trick them into letting you teach them something in the classroom? Once you're already, I feel like once you're in the desks, it's so much harder, right? Because flipping the script on somebody, when you're in the gym. Anybody can say, you know, student master, whatever, like the, the desk make it like so concrete.
25:04 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:05 Travis McElroy? Unless.
25:06 Griffin McElroy? Unless?
25:07 Travis McElroy? Unless.
25:07 Travis McElroy? You take the lessons they teach you. Now you've become stronger than them. They're ready to take over the classroom. Then you show up, you pick them up in the desk and start curling them while you're teaching some.
25:19 Griffin McElroy? Awesome. Yes. This is great. A lot of, a lot of people are just wild about teachers. Every teacher should have guns. It's the only way to keep it safe. No, every teacher should have guns. You know what I mean? Like every teacher should be stronger than the people they're teaching. Cause otherwise I don't have to listen to you. If I'm stronger than you, I do not have to be taught by you.
25:41 Travis McElroy? That's science.
25:41 Griffin McElroy? End of, end of sentence.
25:44 Travis McElroy? I mean, end of bit.
25:48 Travis McElroy? Physical strength trumps all at the end of the day. I mean, if you get stronger than me, you're right.
25:53 Griffin McElroy? Yes, right.
25:54 Travis McElroy? That's the way it got. That's the way the cookie crumbles.
25:55 Griffin McElroy? So many options. Trick them.
25:57 Travis McElroy? Crumble a cookie in front of them.
25:59 Griffin McElroy? Trick them. Don't let them trick you or.
26:02 Travis McElroy? Thank you.
26:03 Griffin McElroy? Catch all. Get stronger than them and you must teach them. They must be taught because you're huge.
26:09 Travis McElroy? You're so big. You've been lifting all those books.
26:12 Griffin McElroy? Fuck. Wow. Look at you. Look at you go.
26:15 Travis McElroy? You're great.
26:17 Griffin McElroy? We should come up with a, you know how LCD sound system came up with like a 46 minute long, like mix that's like, this is for you to work out to. It's the perfect scientifically engineered tempo. We should do that, but it's the three of us and we're like, yeah.
26:30 Travis McElroy? Holy.
26:30 Griffin McElroy? You got it.
26:31 Travis McElroy? Whoa.
26:31 Travis McElroy? Squeeze it out.
26:32 Travis McElroy? That's amazing.
26:33 Griffin McElroy? We would have.
26:34 Travis McElroy? Don't drop that.
26:35 Griffin McElroy? We couldn't just do, we couldn't jazz it. We would have to get, have like movements.
26:39 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Cause eventually I would just start saying, that was a weird grunt and like.
26:44 Griffin McElroy? I think having like five minutes of us being like, that was a weird grunt. You're sweating a lot.
26:49 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Everyone's looking.
26:50 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
26:51 Travis McElroy? I don't, I wouldn't want to do that. I want to inspire people.
26:53 Griffin McElroy? Well, the rest would be, the rest would be inspirational, but a little bit of salt.
26:56 Travis McElroy? Yeah. You gotta bring them back down. You can't all be peak Justin. There's gotta be valley in there somewhere.
27:02 Travis McElroy? Too true, Trav. Too true. How often we forget you gotta go down to hell before you can get a little taste of heaven sometimes. That's especially true in the iron temple that we called the gym.
27:11 Travis McElroy? Yep. And the classroom.
27:14 Travis McElroy? Take it from me. A guy's almost always about three feet away from something he bought to help him get stronger.
27:24 Travis McElroy? I'm never that far away from something. Uh, let's, what do you guys want to do now?
27:30 Griffin McElroy? Money Zone.
27:31 Travis McElroy? Money Zone, you got it, boss. Come on, let's go.
27:43 Griffin McElroy? Well, dang it, it happened again during the Money Zone break. Justin and Travis accidentally crossed through the shadow gate. And so they're gonna have to spend a day in there for each sin that they've committed. Which is gonna take a little while, so I'm gonna go ahead and knock out the advertisements this time. Let's start with Rocket Money, a very good place to start, because Rocket Money is gonna save you a lot of money. And you can spend it on rockets if you want. That's not why the company is called that. I don't know why the company is called that. What I do know is that I subscribe to a lot of garbage, and then I forget about the garbage I've subscribed to, and I end up spending billions, perhaps, of dollars every month on that garbage.
28:24 Griffin McElroy? Rocket Money is a great little service, and it goes through your finances, it goes through everything, and it looks, and it's like, "Hey, did you remember that you were subscribing to the glue of the day club?" And they send you new glue every day, and you're like, "Jesus Christ, why did I subscribe to that?" I don't know, I can't answer that for you. What I can tell you is that Rocket Money is gonna help you get that taken care of. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. They've got over 5 million users and have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com-mybrother. That's rocketmoney.com-mybrother, one last time. Rocketmoney.com-mybrother.
29:09 Griffin McElroy? I also want to tell you about Aura Frames. We are about to enter the gift-giving season, and it's gonna get hot and heavy, folks. You are not ready for all of the gifts you are gonna have to sling to the special, precious people in your life. Well, good news, Aura Frames is pretty much good for anyone to receive as a gift. It's a digital picture frame named number one by Wirecutter. Aura makes it incredibly easy. Easy to share unlimited photos and videos directly from your phone to the frame. When you give Aura Frame as a gift, you can personalize and preload it with a thoughtful message and photos using the Aura app. And then whenever you have new photos that you want to upload, say of the grandkids, for the grandparents, or of your car, to your friend who really likes your car, you
29:53 Griffin McElroy? could just update it through the app and then bing bang boom, it just shows up right on their frame. It's a really, really great way to get photos of stuff people care about right into their homes. And it truly is a slick little thing and a great present. We've given it to many people and it's been great to keep folks in touch with the things going on in our lives. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames by using promo code MYBROTHER at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-frames.com promo code MYBROTHER. This deal's exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.
30:34 Speaker 01 Who's ready for some science? With sources and nuance.
30:41 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me. And some funny jokes from me.
30:47 Speaker 06 Let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins. From quantum physics to the history of swearing. As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.
30:59 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me. Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hopper. And Tom Lom.
31:04 Speaker 01 So join us next time where we will learn about... Everything!
31:12 Speaker 06 Hey, are you playing a video game right now?
31:15 Speaker 07 Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG.
31:18 Griffin McElroy? Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.
31:21 Speaker 06 Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.
31:24 Speaker 07 I'm Jason Schreier.
31:25 Griffin McElroy? And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of TripleClick, a video game podcast.
31:29 Speaker 06 A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.
31:32 Speaker 07 Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.
31:37 Speaker 06 On TripleClick, we share our thoughts on the latest games.
31:40 Speaker 07 And breaking news out of the video game industry.
31:42 Griffin McElroy? And we also talk about other stuff besides games.
31:45 Speaker 07 So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out TripleClick.
31:49 Griffin McElroy? Listen on maximumfun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.
31:56 Travis McElroy? All right, boys. How about another question?
31:57 Griffin McElroy? Please.
31:58 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
32:00 Travis McElroy? I just read a nice text message from my girlfriend at the end of my bus ride to work. When I was getting off, I went to say thank you to the driver, but I was also thinking about how much I love my girlfriend. And instead of a thank you, I felt my lips start to purse up in a kissy shape. Oh, wow. I panicked and froze my lips into 10% into the kiss and just walked off without saying anything to him. So crisis averted. What if I had blown a kiss to the bus driver?
32:26 Griffin McElroy? That's.
32:26 Travis McElroy? What's the advice for after that? It's from Gmail. I, okay, so I thought you were about to say that you told the bus driver you loved him.
32:33 Griffin McElroy? I love it.
32:33 Travis McElroy? And I started to say, I started to get this whole thing in my heart, like a really sincere thing.
32:37 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
32:37 Travis McElroy? About like, I think that's actually nice. And I think we could do with more of that, honestly, just like telling people that we love them. I think that's.
32:45 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, strangers who would be made wildly uncomfortable by that, like, yeah, we should be saying that. Cause that's your right.
32:50 Travis McElroy? But I don't know about kissy face, huh? That's tough, isn't it?
32:54 Travis McElroy? I would actually.
32:55 Travis McElroy? Kissy face is tough.
32:56 Travis McElroy? I want you guys right now to make your face into 10% of a kissy face.
33:00 Griffin McElroy? Oh, yeah, that's awesome.
33:01 Travis McElroy? And, and tell me if you saw a human being doing that. Is that better than seeing 100% kissy face?
33:09 Travis McElroy? This person is saying that they dodged the bullet. I think they're, they're saying, listen, I handled this perfectly. No worries.
33:15 Griffin McElroy? I want to see.
33:16 Travis McElroy? Only 10% of a kissy face. I'm fine.
33:18 Griffin McElroy? I want to see 10% kissy face.
33:22 Griffin McElroy? They do video out of it sometimes. I don't know if you've been to a YouTube channel lately. We do do videos sometimes.
33:28 Travis McElroy? Is that too much, Griffin, what I'm doing here?
33:30 Griffin McElroy? Show me. Too much, way too much. That's like 30 to 40% easy. It's like, hold on.
33:35 Travis McElroy? I'm trying to find it.
33:37 Griffin McElroy? Show me zero percent.
33:37 Travis McElroy? I feel like I'm moving a slider.
33:39 Griffin McElroy? Justin, that sucks. That's not kissing even a little bit at all.
33:43 Travis McElroy? Okay, wait, here's 100.
33:44 Griffin McElroy? Show me. That's, ooh, that's 100.
33:46 Travis McElroy? That's 100.
33:47 Griffin McElroy? You walk at work.
33:53 Travis McElroy? That's 10. That's 10 right there.
33:56 Travis McElroy? That's 10?
33:57 Travis McElroy? That's 10.
33:58 Griffin McElroy? No one's gonna clock that. No one's gonna clock that. Travis, you look pissed off at the bus driver.
34:06 Travis McElroy? Well, I'm not kissing with my eyes.
34:07 Griffin McElroy? I would rather walk by the bus driver and go than go.
34:14 Travis McElroy? That's my focus. I can't help it. That's my focus face.
34:17 Travis McElroy? Okay, all right. I just made a command decision. Here's what you do. If you find your face going the only shot to have is to just throw your hand, your right hand up and add the chef's kiss thing and just add a pin like what a ride.
34:37 Travis McElroy? Smooth, no bumps.
34:39 Travis McElroy? Not a pothole in sight. Thank you, Daryl. You've done it again.
34:43 Travis McElroy? Masterfully done. My compliments to the driver.
34:49 Travis McElroy? Lovely. Lovely flight, boys.
34:53 Griffin McElroy? Why were you making a kiss to your phone on a text message?
34:57 Travis McElroy? They were just, it's just the wires got mixed up, man.
35:01 Griffin McElroy? That's pretty mixed up. Those wires are, those wires come from different machines in two different buildings of like, I'm texting my girlfriend. I love her so much that I'm thinking about how much I love her and like you don't, I feel like
35:14 Travis McElroy? This happens to me all the time. Not the exact thing, but I like listening to audiobooks while I drive and I have this compulsion that when it describes someone making a face or like reacting to something in a way, my face will like try to make that. So I understand what they mean. And I'm always so worried another driver next to me or somebody will see me making this face. I'd be like, I think that man's guilty of murder. And I'm always so worried that I will be clocked as my face tries to replicate human emotion.
35:45 Griffin McElroy? God bless bus drivers.
35:47 Travis McElroy? God bless them.
35:47 Travis McElroy? Thank you. What a hard, that's a hard job. I think.
35:50 Travis McElroy? They don't get enough kisses blown at them.
35:51 Griffin McElroy? We don't ask, we do not ask God to bless specific people and jobs enough. And that's something that I feel like we could be way better about.
35:59 Travis McElroy? I think we could lean out of windows and bang pots and pans at bus drivers more.
36:04 Griffin McElroy? They would really, the people love that shit.
36:06 Travis McElroy? They do. It's a good way of showing people you care about them to bang pots and pans.
36:09 Griffin McElroy? Bang pots and pans at 6:15 PM Eastern Time.
36:14 Travis McElroy? It scares cats away and shows bus drivers you appreciate them.
36:18 Griffin McElroy? That's right.
36:18 Travis McElroy? Two birds.
36:19 Griffin McElroy? That's the, that's the, that's the rhythm of the city right there.
36:23 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
36:29 Travis McElroy? I want a munch squaw.
36:33 Travis McElroy? I want to munch.
36:38 Travis McElroy? Welcome to Munch Squaw, this podcast, the podcast profile and latest greatest brand eating. Today's story comes to us from, uh, cub reporter Travis Patrick McElroy.
36:49 Griffin McElroy? What?
36:50 Travis McElroy? Yeah, he sent me a good TikTok. I'm serious, Griffin.
36:55 Griffin McElroy? One in a million.
36:56 Travis McElroy? I almost chucked it into the dustbin of history with all the other ones and zeros.
37:00 Griffin McElroy? I like to save them all up. I like to save them all up, the ones Travis sends us.
37:04 Travis McElroy? I knew, I knew Justin, so I actually wrote out a caption to it before I sent it. That was like, this is what this is.
37:12 Travis McElroy? Picking up and give a little, and a little.
37:15 Travis McElroy? So that he knew.
37:16 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
37:17 Travis McElroy? It's real. It's a good one. No, but this one for real. This is a, do watch this one.
37:22 Travis McElroy? But do watch this one because this, the, the story is that Pizza Hut is launching its own wine.
37:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, man.
37:30 Travis McElroy? And Griffin.
37:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
37:32 Travis McElroy? It's made from tomatoes.
37:35 Griffin McElroy? Why not?
37:35 Travis McElroy? This holiday season, Pizza Hut is elevating the art of holiday hosting and gifting with a twist on an iconic pairing, pizza and wine. For the first time ever, Pizza Hut is stepping into the wine business by launching a pizza wine.
37:49 Travis McElroy? A unique, limited edition tomato wine that captures the essence of your favorite slice in every sip. To make any holiday gathering even more festive, Pizza Hut is bringing back its beloved triple treat box. This holiday ready meal featuring two medium, one topping pizzas, breadsticks or cheese sticks, and a choice of dessert comes packaged in a festive holiday themed box.
38:08 Griffin McElroy? With wine?
38:09 Travis McElroy? Wine, and there's wine is, I guess, part of it.
38:12 Travis McElroy? Not enough people do that. People talk about pairing wines with things and it's usually about complimenting. I want one for one wines. I want more one for one wines where it's like this wine goes great with this hamburger because it's made of hamburger.
38:24 Griffin McElroy? It's hamburger.
38:25 Travis McElroy? This is hamburger wine.
38:26 Travis McElroy? This is hamburger wine.
38:27 Griffin McElroy? Hamburger wine.
38:31 Travis McElroy? Crafted from ripe juicy tomatoes and infused with natural basil. Tomato wine by Pizza Hut. That's what it's called. It's just called Tomato Wine by Pizza Hut.
38:42 Travis McElroy? They carried it so close to the, to the goal line and then they were like, I don't know, man.
38:47 Travis McElroy? Hold on, I want to pull up.
38:48 Travis McElroy? Tomato wine.
38:51 Griffin McElroy? I just Googled tomato wine just to see if it's a thing. I found a recipe for, you can make tomato wine at home. And the like duration of time, how long it takes is 672 hours and 25 minutes, which is.
39:03 Travis McElroy? Perfect. Can you guys see the little?
39:05 Travis McElroy? Why is it so pale?
39:06 Travis McElroy? It's so pale. Yeah. A lot of people in the lab noticed that. We just kind of kept on going.
39:11 Griffin McElroy? Sort of a rosé.
39:12 Travis McElroy? Is it for gamers?
39:13 Travis McElroy? It is not. Uh, it's made.
39:15 Travis McElroy? Oh, it's not for gamers? They said explicitly gamers know.
39:19 Travis McElroy? Made in partnership with Kansas based Irvine's Just Beyond Paradise Winery. Okay. Kansas based Irvine's Just Beyond Paradise Wine.
39:28 Griffin McElroy? Kansas, Kansas.
39:29 Travis McElroy? Kansas based Irvine's Just Beyond Paradise Winery, a family owned vineyard renowned for its creativity and passion. I guess with the finest grapes, Kansas can grow.
39:40 Travis McElroy? All right. Well, Justin, we don't know that for sure. We only know tomatoes.
39:44 Griffin McElroy? Kansas might make.
39:45 Travis McElroy? Oh, that's actually a much better point. Thank you. I'm the dork because they don't need grapes for this wine.
39:49 Travis McElroy? Where we're going, we don't need grapes.
39:52 Travis McElroy? While crafted from tomatoes, the wine delivers a tasting similar to a white wine when enjoyed chilled. That's because that's what I look for in my alcoholic beverages, being able to pretend there's something else if you get them cold enough.
40:05 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
40:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
40:07 Travis McElroy? What happens?
40:07 Travis McElroy? They might as well have made that.
40:08 Speaker 05 It tastes the same.
40:09 Travis McElroy? If you close your eyes.
40:11 Travis McElroy? Though made from tomatoes, it's not nearly as gross as you'd think.
40:14 Travis McElroy? No, it's better. It's better than you think. The wine delivers, okay, paired with any classic Pizza Hut pizza, including the signature one topping pizzas that come with the festive triple treat box. Listen, stop trying to talk to me about the triple treat box when you just invented pizza wine. I'm not interested.
40:30 Travis McElroy? Yeah, we kind of glossed over, I want to hang a lantern on the we added basil to it aspect. Cause they're not going for like, this is a sweet, this is like a fruity wine. There's plenty of the blueberry wine, strawberry wine, as we hollow it. Watermelon wine, I guess. And where, and then you're just like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We put basil in it.
40:50 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
40:51 Travis McElroy? This is, this is marinara sauce wine. Enjoy.
40:55 Travis McElroy? Let's say here, Pizza Hut is offering a limited edition set. Oh, first, actually, let me read the quote here. Quote, "The holidays are a time for many gatherings, but often the gift of a bottle of wine can feel expected. Why not be the one to bring the pizza party with the gift of pizza wine?"
41:14 Travis McElroy? Okay.
41:14 Travis McElroy? And a triple treat box. "The sign to ignite fun and conversation," says Pizza Hut's director of advertising, Elise Slaton, who I'm guessing forgot this promotion was supposed to be about the triple treat box until she started writing this press release and realized, oh no, I completely forgot about the triple treat box. Like I mentioned that a few times.
41:30 Travis McElroy? I do love that bringing, bringing up the idea of bringing this as like a host gift to a party does really clearly in my mind delineate groups of friends.
41:41 Travis McElroy? Absolutely.
41:42 Travis McElroy? Who I would feel so comfortable bringing a bottle of pizza wine to Justin. And be like, thank you so much for having me. And that might be it, actually. That Justin might be the only person I know.
41:52 Travis McElroy? Don't you bring that shit to me. I don't want joke food in my house. Yeah, it is sold out, by the way. I know. It's, that's what sucks about all these, honestly. As a brand who has pioneered many firsts in the industry, we took a beloved classic pairing of pizza and red wine.
42:08 Travis McElroy? And ruined it.
42:09 Travis McElroy? And ruined it. And flipped it on his head as we aim to spark entry. Your Pizza Hut.
42:18 Travis McElroy? Don't. How about don't?
42:19 Griffin McElroy? I don't want the mystery from you.
42:21 Travis McElroy? I don't wanna eat pizza and think, I am intrigued.
42:24 Travis McElroy? Go on.
42:25 Griffin McElroy? How curious.
42:26 Travis McElroy? And if you really wanted to flip it on our head, it'd be pizza wine and red wine flavored pizza.
42:31 Griffin McElroy? That would be cool.
42:32 Travis McElroy? Now, listen, this is, this is, I wasn't even gonna, I wasn't even gonna talk about this cuz it's not funny. But I, this is, it's really, it's really cheesing me off.
42:42 Travis McElroy? Oh, pun intended?
42:44 Travis McElroy? It is, Travis, because this is the flavor of the month for Baskin Robbins. It's cheese board inspired, what, brie my get, brie my guess.
42:54 Griffin McElroy? I fuck with this so hard.
42:56 Travis McElroy? No, it's gross. Listen.
42:58 Griffin McElroy? Oh, okay, weird. Cuz I looked at it and I looked at the thing and I was like, oh, that looks yummy. Okay, cool.
43:02 Travis McElroy? Wait till I tell you what's in it. And then you're gonna be like, gross, okay? Inspired by your cheese board faves, brie my guess is an unbelievable combination of brie and burrata flavored ice creams, mixed with almonds and pistachio pieces and apricot swirls.
43:17 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I mean, fucking rad, dude. Yes, absolutely. Open your mind. No, no, no, no. This is good.
43:26 Travis McElroy? Which one's burrata again?
43:27 Travis McElroy? That's the one where it's two cheeses in one, where they have a softer cheese inside a somewhat harder cheese.
43:33 Travis McElroy? I was worried that there was gonna be like capicola in it or something.
43:37 Griffin McElroy? No, no, this looks good. I'm amazed.
43:40 Travis McElroy? How different is ice cream from cheese, really?
43:43 Griffin McElroy? Not.
43:44 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's a good point. It's funky, though. It's funkier.
43:47 Travis McElroy? I mean, I would love to have a bite of ice cream and have a different new experience. I would like to be intrigued by ice cream.
43:53 Griffin McElroy? I guess some of us like grown up ice cream.
43:55 Travis McElroy? I recently had sour cream ice cream. Like made with sour cream. It was great. Don't show me this ice cream turkey again, Justin.
44:03 Travis McElroy? It's back.
44:03 Travis McElroy? No. Don't bring this.
44:06 Travis McElroy? It's back. It's back, bitch.
44:08 Travis McElroy? I'm sorry.
44:09 Griffin McElroy? What's so weird? It says that in the press release. That sucks.
44:12 Travis McElroy? Hall A gatherings are about sharing memorable experiences, and our brie my guest and turkey cake do just that, said Jared Grant and Eddie, Vice President of Marketing and Culinary of Baskin Robbins. Our new flavor of the month is a bold twist on the best parts of a cheese board that will delight your guests and spark conversations at the table.
44:31 Travis McElroy? None of these, none of these, none of it, one of the thing I've noticed in these press. Or Lisa's Justin, none of them take into account the actual human experience of walking into a party filled with people you supposedly love and respect and saying, look what I've brought. And so the idea that I'm going to bring in this ice cream turkey and be like, guys, I brought this. I thought we'd all like it. It's full of cheese ice cream.
44:55 Travis McElroy? I'm gonna, I feel like I've got a pretty, like, settled. If you bring pizza wine, that's great. Very funny. I'm kind of jealous. You got onto it for me.
45:06 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
45:06 Travis McElroy? You bring a turkey cake, hilarious, quirky, adorable. We love it. And we're gonna enjoy eating that too, which we want to enjoy the pizza wine. If you bring both, you're making it about you. You know, and this is like, I worked really hard on the party to set a vibe and a tone. And like, the vibe could withstand pizza wine or ice cream cake. But when you bring both, you are threatening to make that evening a very use centric thing. You know what I mean? It's gonna be all about pizza.
45:33 Griffin McElroy? Everyone else there is gonna be thinking about what they brought and how it was wrong in some way.
45:39 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
45:40 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. If, if your, if your option was even an option at all, then they are gonna start thinking they have failed.
45:46 Travis McElroy? Because you're gonna be like, oh, you made deviled eggs. What did that flip on its head? How was that intriguing?
45:52 Griffin McElroy? How is that funny?
45:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Also, I'm also kind of mad if someone brings either those items to my home for a party, because how are you so certain that I did not procure my own Pizza Hut pizza wine?
46:04 Travis McElroy? Great point. That would be my worry.
46:05 Griffin McElroy? Turkey cake.
46:06 Travis McElroy? You, Justin, let's put it this way. Let's say your two best friends, one brings Pizza Hut pizza wine.
46:11 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
46:11 Travis McElroy? One brings a turkey shaped ice cream cake filled with cheese ice cream. Which one of those do you now love the most? Which friend do you love the most?
46:21 Travis McElroy? Did you say it's cheese ice cream?
46:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it has the bring my guest inside of it.
46:25 Travis McElroy? Absolutely not. No, no, thank you.
46:27 Travis McElroy? So you've actually lost love for that one?
46:29 Griffin McElroy? J-Dog, if I sat you.
46:30 Travis McElroy? No, I'll drink your stinky funky wine.
46:32 Griffin McElroy? No.
46:33 Travis McElroy? Cause at least wine, at least wine always tastes. At least wine always tastes bad. You know what I mean? At least, oh, at least wine always tastes like funky old rotten grapes.
46:43 Travis McElroy? Not this one, Justin. Not this. This one, Justin.
46:46 Travis McElroy? Funky old rotten tomatoes.
46:47 Travis McElroy? This is gonna blow your mind, Justin.
46:49 Travis McElroy? Funky old rotten fruits. I don't want that cheesy. You're gonna put that in your mouth and not know exactly how cheesy it's gonna taste. It could taste a little cheesy.
46:57 Travis McElroy? That is true.
46:58 Travis McElroy? Or could taste a lot.
46:59 Travis McElroy? It's either gonna be overwhelming or disappointing.
47:01 Travis McElroy? It's gonna be disappointing. It's basketball. That's what it says on the sign, but like.
47:06 Griffin McElroy? I wish you'd open your heart to cheese cream. It's, it, it, it is good sometimes. And I think you would, I think you hate cheese, though. I'm forgetting this. You don't like soft cheese.
47:16 Travis McElroy? I hate raw cheese.
47:18 Travis McElroy? This isn't raw, it's frozen.
47:19 Griffin McElroy? It's frozen.
47:20 Travis McElroy? I recently, that's true. I recently had a dream come true. I'll be paid $300 to eat a new Taco Bell item and then share my thoughts in a focus group of 10 to 15 people. God, I'd love to do that.
47:30 Griffin McElroy? You did say Taco Bell.
47:31 Travis McElroy? To do that. They should let you pay to be in product research. I'm aware I'm taking part in something larger than myself. How can I best represent the needs and desires of all people on planet Earth when determining the future of Taco Bell offerings? Liv Mas, from Jacob K. P.S. I will be trying the, and I cannot believe you were allowed to tell us this.
47:48 Travis McElroy? We don't know that they are.
47:49 Travis McElroy? The chicken al pastor street jalupas. Wow, those sound fucking good.
47:54 Griffin McElroy? Looking forward to it.
47:55 Travis McElroy? Yeah, um, I, everybody in a testing scenario in a fast food place is gonna be thinking about one factor and it's the novelty of the flavor. They want new experiences. They're thinking about deliciousness. I'll tell you what I would love people at Taco Bell to start thinking about a little bit more is the fucking mess factor.
48:14 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
48:14 Travis McElroy? I'm not buying Taco Bell because I'm going home to put it on porcelain plates.
48:19 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
48:19 Travis McElroy? I'm not. You know how I'm eating it and it's with a napkin on my lap.
48:23 Griffin McElroy? In your car.
48:23 Travis McElroy? Maybe, maybe.
48:24 Travis McElroy? In my car.
48:25 Travis McElroy? Where it belongs. When you try it and you turn your head to the side so that you don't spill taco everywhere, grab your neck in pain and say, ah, taco neck. I've got a bad case of taco neck.
48:34 Griffin McElroy? Shit, that's funny. Get them to bring back taco neck syndrome. Get them to get back in the commercials. Please, it's so funny.
48:40 Travis McElroy? Oh, man. Yeah, if you could be the person to bring back taco neck syndrome.
48:44 Griffin McElroy? Do you, the amount of pressure I would feel in a Taco Bell focus group to try and do a good job, but also get my own sort of personal agenda across the line as much as is possible for the, for the many things I would love Taco Bell to start doing again. You guys started putting Doritos flavor on shit and then you stopped?
49:06 Travis McElroy? What if, okay, but this is where, talk about the pressure, man. What if you had, they never stopped. They'll never stop. They don't do Cool Ranch no more, do they?
49:15 Travis McElroy? I know, I think they still do cinnamon twists.
49:18 Travis McElroy? Yeah, you can get cinnamon twists. It would be so much pressure to think about the idea that what if I had been in the room? Where it was like seven layer crunch wrap or like one of the great, like one of the greats. And I had been just having a bad day or what if I had like COVID, you know what I mean? And they said bad to me, you know?
49:39 Griffin McElroy? That's the only reason Cool Ranch Dorito tacos, Locos tacos got shut down is because COVID made them taste so fucked up and weird. And that's like the number one thing that it took from me personally, I will say.
49:53 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
49:54 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Why don't you throw out something like, what if you put the vegetables on the outside?
49:58 Griffin McElroy? That's uh.
49:59 Travis McElroy? Now, here's the thing, it doesn't make sense, but people in the fast food industry love that kind of innovative out of the box thinking. And now you're the CEO of Taco Bell.
50:08 Griffin McElroy? You're having a lot of fun, Travis.
50:10 Travis McElroy? You're thinking outside the bun, Griffin. That's what Taco Bell looks for.
50:14 Travis McElroy? Hey, to Travis's point, I'm sorry, Griff, but not for show, not a joke, send jokes out of the room. Were I in this scenario, I would be thinking of anything I could do to get them to do, say one thing like, this kid's got some.
50:29 Travis McElroy? This is what I'm saying.
50:31 Travis McElroy? I want one like, ooh, yeah, I like that. Like one Taco Bell, like I want just, just one thumbprint on the moon. You know what I mean? Just one little, one little lick.
50:42 Griffin McElroy? I know that movie fans at home, sometimes they sit back and they think that one guy who got his dick out in the background of Teen Wolf, what was he thinking? You guys are talking about getting your dick out as an extra in Teen Wolf. If you say, what if you put the vegetables on the outside? The person running the focus group would be like, get your things, stand up and leave. You're gonna blow this, you're gonna blow this fucking opportunity for yourself if you joke around and say, put the vegetables. I would, this is what I'm saying, I would have to get across, put Doritos flavor, put the Cool Ranch Doritos flavor that's so funky and stinky on it. Without getting kicked out of the room. That's a top needle to thread.
51:17 Travis McElroy? What about, what about, what if we made the cheese pink and like the wrap green and tied it in with Wicked?
51:24 Griffin McElroy? That's not your job to think about as a person who's being paid $300 to eat a taco.
51:30 Travis McElroy? Wait, are you saying in your, in your headcanon here, someone in a?
51:34 Travis McElroy? Focus group could be like, hey, have you guys thought about tying this in with Wicked?
51:38 Griffin McElroy? Right. That's not what they're
51:39 Travis McElroy? Did you guys know Wicked's coming out? You're not doing anything about it?
51:42 Griffin McElroy? And they're like, oh shit. Thank God you're here. Now you're CEO of Taco Bell. I mean, not right away, obviously.
51:51 Travis McElroy? I would like to add the, uh, Barbersville, uh, Alta employees. I want to add them to my long list of local people that I've complained to about how many wicked things are for sale in town. Uh, sorry, this lady CVS. Sorry, the lady Alta Beauty, uh, box lunch staff. I always say sorry to you. Anyway, thank you. Sorry so much. Sorry.
52:10 Griffin McElroy? Did we even touch?
52:11 Travis McElroy? Sorry Spencer's gifts. I was confused. Uh, sorry. I was, I laughed so hard I threw up. They had to ask me to leave. So I'm sorry Spencer's. It was just a really good federal body inspector. It was hysterical.
52:23 Travis McElroy? When we talked about the wicked times, by the way, did we talk about the hotels that made a green and pink room?
52:28 Griffin McElroy? Yes, we did. That's fantastic. Let's wrap things up.
52:31 Travis McElroy? Let's do it. Uh, thanks.
52:32 Travis McElroy? Hey, that's another good thing to say in a Taco Bell focus group.
52:34 Griffin McElroy? Yes, more wrapping, please.
52:36 Travis McElroy? Yeah, maybe a second layer of wrap around it.
52:39 Griffin McElroy? Do a push pop situation.
52:41 Travis McElroy? Thank you so much for, uh, listening to our podcast. We hope you really like it.
52:44 Travis McElroy? Taco Bell protein powder. Okay, go on.
52:47 Travis McElroy? Hey, uh, happy, uh, belated Thanksgiving. Our annual podcast, Till Death Is Blar, that we do with Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery is available now. It is the 10th anniversary. I, is the most fun, uh, episode in, in, I mean, I can't tell you how long it was.
53:04 Travis McElroy? Good watch. Top 10 for sure.
53:05 Griffin McElroy? Great watch this year.
53:06 Travis McElroy? Top 10, Trav. Easily top 10.
53:08 Griffin McElroy? Um, and this year's Candlelight Spectacular, it's coming out next week, December 14th at 9:00 PM. Uh, you can get tickets to watch that. It's pre-recorded, but it's going to be streamed live. So everybody can watch it together the first time. Get your tickets at bit.ly/candlelightstickets2024. Um, and then that's going to be available, uh, until January 4th for video on demand and re-watch if you wish to. There's a Candlelight's poster and ornament available now, designed by Matt H. Taylor. And all proceeds from the show and the merch are going to Harmony House, which works to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.
53:44 Travis McElroy? So go check that out bit.ly slash candlelight tickets 2024.
53:47 Griffin McElroy? We got some other merch up in the merch store over at macronmerch.com. We got a final fungalor pin by Dana Wagner. Final fungalor sounds cool.
53:56 Travis McElroy? Maybe that'll be next year. It's next form.
53:59 Griffin McElroy? His next, yes, as he evolves. Also, all dice in the shop are 20% off. Don't forget to get your fungalor merch before the year ends and we retire it to the Disney Vault. 10% of all merch sales this month will also be donated to Harmony House. So, go check all that out.
54:13 Travis McElroy? And thank you to Montane for the youth, youth of our theme song.
54:16 Griffin McElroy? Thanks for the youth, Montane. You fill us with youth every day.
54:19 Travis McElroy? Youth, uh, my life is better with you. Go check it out. It's on Spotify. I'm pretty sure they're working on some new music, if I'm not mistaken. Might be making that up.
54:28 Griffin McElroy? I've seen some teasers. I've seen some teasers and some, some, some.
54:31 Travis McElroy? If you're not subscribed to Montane's whatever Instagram newsletter thing, join us.
54:36 Griffin McElroy? It's good shit.
54:37 Travis McElroy? There's good shit on there. Montane also streams. Follow them on Twitch and stuff. Go do it.
54:41 Griffin McElroy? Hey, speaking of streaming, can I do this wish from fungalor? Oh, sorry. Shit. Oh, shit. Fungalor sent this one in to wish to himself, I guess.
54:50 Travis McElroy? Wow, amazing.
54:51 Griffin McElroy? No, this is from a listener. Uh, sound me.
54:57 Griffin McElroy? I wish I could stream Matlock with Andy Griffith without ads.
55:03 Travis McElroy? It's Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.
55:05 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy.
55:06 Travis McElroy? My brother, my brother, me kiss your dad, square on the lips.
55:41 Speaker 07 Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.
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