Looksmaxxing In Fifth Density | FILE_06 | Mystery Boys

Duncan Trussell is touring all over! Check out his tour dates at http://duncantrussell.com/tour SPONSORS: For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at https://Mengotomars.com. Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code MYSTERY. Visit https://BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week, the boys descend into a sprawling network of underground mysteries, from hidden cities beneath Turkey and the legends of subterranean civilizations to secret transit systems, the Denver Airport conspiracy, and secret underground government bunkers. Along the way they unravel the Strava military base leak, Cambrian Genomics, Edward Teller, and the unsettling idea that the world beneath our feet is far more active than we've been told. The investigation takes a hard turn when former U. S. Navy serviceman Daryl James calls into the show to share his alleged experiences with classified government experiments, alien encounters, Mars, interdimensional beings, density shifts, reptilians, the Nords, and the possibility that reality is layered in ways most people never notice. This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys File_006 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussellhttps://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedyhttps://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcasthttps://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:50 - Kurt's D Infection 00:08:27 - The Mysteries Of The Underground 00:19:46 - The Mag-Lev 00:21:00 - The Hidden Underground City In Turkey 00:22:54 - The Secret Actor Bahn 00:31:15 - Getting Science Mogged 00:35:02 - The Little Mermaid Rabbit Hole 00:43:09 - The Strava Exposed Military Bases 00:43:49 - Clavicular's Messed Up Nose Job 00:47:16 - The Continuity Of The Government 00:47:52 - Who is Edward Teller? 00:50:37 - Cambrian Genomics 00:56:20 - Using Science To Make Vaginas Smell Better 01:08:27 - The Conspiracies Surrounding The Denver Airport 01:20:47 - Phone Call With Daryl James 01:24:34 - The Satanist, Michael A. Aquino 01:34:57 - Daryl James Encounter With Alien 01:35:52 - Watching An Alien Build A Computer 01:38:04 - Accidentally Poking A Reptilian In The Eye 01:39:55 - Moving In-between Different Densities 01:44:06 - Interacting With The Nords 01:47:04 - Underground Healing and Torture Chambers 01:49:09 - Daryl's Trip To Mars 01:50:26 - Moving Between Different Density Levels 01:56:10 - Are Taygetan Aliens from Earth? 02:03:49 - Fifth Density Being Talks About Alternate Timeline 02:07:32 - Everyone Has Been Groomed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:52Kurt Metzger?

  All right, welcome to Dolph Talk. I'm Lux Maxter and with me as always is-

• 0:55Duncan Trussell?

  Chorazard Grossner.

• 0:57Kurt Metzger?

  And we're here to maximize our looks.

• 1:00Duncan Trussell?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:01Kurt Metzger?

  Mog everyone in the room.

• 1:02Duncan Trussell?

  Get mogged, boy.

• 1:05Kurt Metzger?

  Sorry the crew just got mogged. I didn't mean to do it.

• 1:07Duncan Trussell?

  Get mogged.

• 1:09Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, but that's just what reality is. I'm sorry to drop the final pill on you.

• 1:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, eat it. Red pill, bitch.

• 1:19Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner, you need to develop your cuck pill. I've been saying this to you. Your cuck pill's not developed.

• 1:24Duncan Trussell?

  What's a cuck pill?

• 1:25Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. This guy was talking about it.

• 1:27Duncan Trussell?

  The cuck pill?

• 1:28Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it was this wonderful conservative Elijah Schaefer was talking to a shirtless gentleman about, you know, trad conservatism and the final cuck pill. And he's like, "Look, I got a guy you're gonna love. Platinum blonde hair. You're gonna come out. You're gonna fuck bitches with them." You know, real conservative talk.

• 1:48Duncan Trussell?

  Totally.

• 1:49Kurt Metzger?

  And then he explained how like, really, you don't even need, you know, the girl's kinda, just with your homies, you know? Like, if you double fucking vaguate your homies. That's a quote. You know how like, it's not, is that gay?

• 2:03Duncan Trussell?

  Not at all.

• 2:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, so anyway.

• 2:06Duncan Trussell?

  I guess the real ultimate, like, theological question is, was Joseph a cuck?

• 2:13Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, well, hmm, I guess it's a matter of if pregnancy or intercourse is what makes you the cock.

• 2:21Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, it was technically intercourse, like the ultimate intercourse.

• 2:25Kurt Metzger?

  Why? I thought it would be without intercourse.

• 2:28Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I mean, you know, that's one way to like tell a human that you're not banging them down. But she, you know, I'm not trying to be blasphemous or offensive.

• 2:36Kurt Metzger?

  Don't spoil disclosure. I haven't seen it yet. Okay?

• 2:39Duncan Trussell?

  I'm so sorry. I know you've been too busy to see it. I'm so sorry.

• 2:43Kurt Metzger?

  If you're gonna spoil.

• 2:44Duncan Trussell?

  Guys, or delete that. I don't wanna ruin.

• 2:46Kurt Metzger?

  If you're gonna spoil Steven Spielberg's new movie for me, uh, don't, you know, say spoiler alert.

• 2:52Duncan Trussell?

  Spoiler, I'm sorry, reverse spoiler alert, which means you spoiled. But yeah, it was a good movie.

• 2:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah? What was the message? Open your hearts and behinds and shut, open your, close your eyes or open your mouth?

• 3:04Duncan Trussell?

  I haven't seen it. I've heard it's just great, though.

• 3:06Kurt Metzger?

  Well, it's Steven Spielberg. Not gonna do better than that.

• 3:09Duncan Trussell?

  One of the best.

• 3:11Kurt Metzger?

  You know?

• 3:11Duncan Trussell?

  What's your favorite Spielberg movie?

• 3:13Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God, there's so many great movies by Spielberg. I like, uh, hmm, I like the one about the AI boy whose love is real, but he is not.

• 3:21Duncan Trussell?

  Changed my life. What about E.T.?

• 3:22Kurt Metzger?

  Called The Boy Who Mogged His Brother.

• 3:25Duncan Trussell?

  Mog, get mog, bitch.

• 3:26Kurt Metzger?

  And then I like, um, oh, uh, uh, E, E.T. The real thing that I'm, I'm looking forward to at Disclosure is the message of we need to relearn empathy on this world, you know? From the great Steven Spielberg.

• 3:39Duncan Trussell?

  What is, I've never even heard of a mess, such a message. That's fucking hardcore.

• 3:42Kurt Metzger?

  Well, it's from Ali, yeah, no, no one's ever heard of it, uh.

• 3:44Duncan Trussell?

  We what? We need to what?

• 3:46Kurt Metzger?

  Relearn empathy. Uh, the alien, apparently, that's gonna be the key to everything.

• 3:50Duncan Trussell?

  That's the message.

• 3:51Kurt Metzger?

  No word on Gaza about, though, from it, but, you know, that's to be expected. We don't need to turn to Spielberg to know about, well, the problems with empathy in the war. We have a new meter for how things are going over there.

• 4:03Duncan Trussell?

  What is it?

• 4:03Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, uh, right now, I believe they're not going, I, I, I believe, uh, it's just a very past.

• 4:08Duncan Trussell?

  Are you talking about the Middle East right now, of course?

• 4:10Kurt Metzger?

  We, we don't have time. It's so complicated. It changes every.

• 4:12Duncan Trussell?

  It's very complex.

• 4:13Kurt Metzger?

  And, and these come out in the past and the future, so they're gonna be, but at this moment, if you need an anchor in time and space, uh, the, the current forecast for, uh, For how Israel's doing. Go ahead and put that up there. He just got the news. They might have signed a peace deal.

• 4:27Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, fuck.

• 4:28Kurt Metzger?

  Look at that face. Look at, now see the problem? You see a problem here? That? Now, let's go to the what we want to see, the score we want to see.

• 4:35Duncan Trussell?

  We want that smiling.

• 4:38Kurt Metzger?

  When I go, hey, I need an update in a holy land. I want to see that. Angelic face smiling back at me. I don't want to see this. This broken hearted, beautiful.

• 4:46Duncan Trussell?

  Shit.

• 4:47Kurt Metzger?

  Boy who feels betrayed because America's always letting them down.

• 4:52Duncan Trussell?

  This is the, uh, this is our version of the atomic clock, I guess. Is there anything?

• 4:57Kurt Metzger?

  It's my atomic clock. That's true.

• 4:59Duncan Trussell?

  Is there, is there anything worse than this?

• 5:02Kurt Metzger?

  Uh.

• 5:03Duncan Trussell?

  What is it? The nuclear, the doomsday clock? Not the atomic clock. This is our doomsday clock. Does it get worse? Does he get more upset?

• 5:11Kurt Metzger?

  I, I, I hadn't wanted to think about it.

• 5:13Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry.

• 5:14Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I'm not gonna, if we play that, you know, shit's going to pot. If that has to be thrown up, the really bad one.

• 5:20Duncan Trussell?

  Like, like, so right now, what, why, what's made him so sad? That sweet man?

• 5:24Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, they have a tentative deal memo for peace in Iran and, uh, everybody's kind of fighting now. Now Trump's, you know, I don't know why he's suddenly turning his back on, uh, well, you know, I feel my, our best friend.

• 5:38Duncan Trussell?

  It's okay, man. You can cry on this show.

• 5:41Kurt Metzger?

  I'm having a double smoke to get past it.

• 5:46Duncan Trussell?

  Look, you know, whatever it takes to feel okay. You know, I, I know a lot of people's hearts are broken when they hear peace treaty and, uh,

• 5:54Kurt Metzger?

  Well, it's the most any Semitic thing there is is peace. I, you know that. I know that. I don't got till Tanner that. He fucking knows.

• 6:00Duncan Trussell?

  I guess, you know, you're just not always going to get the nuclear war you're hoping for.

• 6:06Kurt Metzger?

  I wish I hadn't come home from Turkey so early to show off my new hair so I could have stayed and fought a good fight.

• 6:11Duncan Trussell?

  Which looks fucking great, dude.

• 6:12Kurt Metzger?

  I know. Let's talk about something that's really working out though. This hair, um, yeah. Uh, dude, I have a, let me tell you something. You want to talk about smashing?

• 6:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Kurt Metzger?

  You want to talk about smashing?

• 6:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I do.

• 6:25Kurt Metzger?

  Smashing some D into some P.

• 6:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, let's talk about it.

• 6:28Kurt Metzger?

  I have, I may have an infection. I don't know yet.

• 6:32Duncan Trussell?

  Are you fucking kidding me?

• 6:33Kurt Metzger?

  I am swollen.

• 6:34Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my, which part of you?

• 6:36Kurt Metzger?

  Well, the urinary tract.

• 6:38Duncan Trussell?

  Your entire urinary tract or your balls?

• 6:40Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, uh, pee after sex, guys. That's my main message. When you go on a hair plug and sex store of Turkey and the near mid east, you gotta number one, uh, play it safe and go pee right after.

• 6:54Duncan Trussell?

  How are the hair, how is the hair plug feeling? I've heard it's quite painful.

• 6:59Kurt Metzger?

  It is. Actually, it's actually really, currently, it's like, it is on fire.

• 7:03Duncan Trussell?

  It is?

• 7:04Kurt Metzger?

  My head feels like it is on fire. And that's because, uh, I call it my mugging sense. It's like I just mugged someone nearby.

• 7:11Duncan Trussell?

  Hmm.

• 7:11Kurt Metzger?

  That's when I feel the burning up here.

• 7:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you feel it when you muck.

• 7:14Kurt Metzger?

  It's akin to a spider sense or bottom fever.

• 7:17Duncan Trussell?

  Absolutely.

• 7:17Kurt Metzger?

  If you've ever had bottom fever and you go, oh my God, something's wrong.

• 7:21Duncan Trussell?

  So this hair that I'm looking at, this, that hair came from your ass, right? Like, that's where they get it from?

• 7:26Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, I, I didn't do the, uh, the clone hair transplant.

• 7:30Duncan Trussell?

  What'd you do?

• 7:31Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, uh, it, it, basically they spin your cells. Okay? They put all your, you give them a culture of cells.

• 7:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 7:40Kurt Metzger?

  Okay? They spin it in this kind of machine they got.

• 7:43Duncan Trussell?

  Hmm.

• 7:45Kurt Metzger?

  Um, they add some proprietary mixture. I'm not exactly clear on. It's kind of an odd color.

• 7:50Duncan Trussell?

  What color?

• 7:51Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, like mythological ichor of the gods.

• 7:54Duncan Trussell?

  What color is that?

• 7:56Kurt Metzger?

  I can't verify that.

• 7:56Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a Crayola color. No one's picturing, what is that?

• 7:59Kurt Metzger?

  It's no color you've seen on this earth.

• 8:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, my God.

• 8:01Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, and then, uh, the doctor drinks it and then he comes out and gives me hair plugs.

• 8:09Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it looks great. It works.

• 8:11Kurt Metzger?

  Can't argue results.

• 8:11Duncan Trussell?

  Can't argue results, my friend. It looks beautiful.

• 8:14Kurt Metzger?

  Drinks a beautiful golden liquid.

• 8:16Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 8:17Kurt Metzger?

  He comes in fucking jazzed up.

• 8:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 8:20Kurt Metzger?

  This Turkish doctor.

• 8:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 8:21Kurt Metzger?

  As excited as a Turkish doctor, doctor. You know that saying?

• 8:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 8:24Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, he goes, let's get to work. And I don't even know where the hair comes from. I never even brought it up because I was so excited by his.

• 8:29Duncan Trussell?

  You don't need to know. Who cares?

• 8:31Kurt Metzger?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:31Duncan Trussell?

  You don't need to know. It looks good. Look at you.

• 8:33Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm.

• 8:33Duncan Trussell?

  You, you're ready to go.

• 8:35Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my, yes.

• 8:36Duncan Trussell?

  And you've been banging. And now you've got a little infection.

• 8:40Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, wow, I will never get in, into, pass the pearly gates of guarded by Saint Peter now after the amount of fucking I just did.

• 8:48Duncan Trussell?

  So much. I can feel it, by the way.

• 8:50Kurt Metzger?

  There's no, not a place for me in heaven now because of the amount of fucking I did.

• 8:54Duncan Trussell?

  Which brings us to the topic of today's show. The underground. Can you guys pull up the video of those dudes coming out?

• 9:01Kurt Metzger?

  There's only one place to go now.

• 9:03Duncan Trussell?

  Down below.

• 9:04Kurt Metzger?

  Deep underground.

• 9:05Duncan Trussell?

  Get mugged bitch. Mugged underground.

• 9:08Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:09Duncan Trussell?

  Now, why don't we show those people coming out of the, uh, New York sewers? A bunch of mysterious gentlemen have been seen coming out of the New York sewers.

• 9:18Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 9:19Duncan Trussell?

  And the, Kurt, these aren't the, uh, these aren't the Jews that we're seeing coming out. It's a different...

• 9:23Kurt Metzger?

  So these are not typical New York sewer Jews?

• 9:26Duncan Trussell?

  Right. And a lot of people, I think, are getting confused.

• 9:28Kurt Metzger?

  That's fine.

• 9:29Duncan Trussell?

  Of, of course.

• 9:30Kurt Metzger?

  You know, they go down there. They're trying to dig a tunnel to a mikva, which is a ritual bath for women. Uh, you know, it's kind of a Porky's kind of thing.

• 9:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 9:40Kurt Metzger?

  People down there. It's, you know, it's good, good, good natured fun.

• 9:43Duncan Trussell?

  You know what? Can I, one of the funniest things about the New York sewer Jews is that apparently there was a dude who kept hearing chanting under his house. Did you hear about this? And he thought he was going nuts or something. Like, he was telling people, "I'm hearing like, they're reciting the Torah down there." No, I mean, if you said that to anybody, they'd think you'd gone nuts. And as it turns out, he'd been listening to them singing as they worked.

• 10:10Kurt Metzger?

  Like, uh, kind of the Seven Dwarfs thing?

• 10:12Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 10:13Kurt Metzger?

  Whistle while you work.

• 10:14Duncan Trussell?

  Whistle while you work. That's right.

• 10:16Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 10:16Duncan Trussell?

  So, this is just an example of people digging tunnels that maybe you didn't know was happening. And now we have a new example of that. I don't know if they're digging tunnels down there, but do you guys have the video of those guys coming out of the sewer?

• 10:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, do you? I believe it was Heraklitus who said, "Men go to Venus to get their penis." Well, that Greek was wrong. You actually go to Mars. Mars men. Testosterone supplement. A testosterone supplement so good, I advertise it on my other podcast. So I'm expecting some more free samples, because I gotta tell you something. This hair, uh, I had to take a lot of feminine hormone to grow it back. And I'm really gonna need to balance out with something. And I like to do it naturally, so sue me. And that's why I like Mars men. Picture this. You're at the gym, lifting weights. It feels like you're you're just going through the motions. You're doing that squat machine, you know, one where you sit on it and it feels like you just blew your hemorrhoid out again. Well, things are different now.

• 11:15Kurt Metzger?

  We age, our bodies store more fat. We we lose muscle faster. It's not just the beer or the junk food. I mean, that's not helping. But it's about changing testosterone levels. And that's where Mars Men comes in. It's a natural supplement designed to support healthy testosterone levels, helping your body burn fat efficiently and build lean muscle. Imagine your workouts feeling intense again. Your energy consistent and your focus sharper. They make two. They make an all natural one and then I don't know what's in the other one. But my girl was reading the ingredients when I first got it and she was like, you take this one. But between you and me, I take the one, whichever one I feel like. I go, bitch, go make me another sandwich. She's like, you didn't eat the last sandwich. Why would I just waste?

• 11:59Kurt Metzger?

  Why would I just keep making sandwiches endlessly? And I'm like, because I got, I'm a Mars man. That's why. For a limited time, our Lissus gift 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts at men go to mars.com. Hey, girls can go to China to get a vagina, but men go to mars.com. Guys, if your partner is ready for better sex, whether it be a friend at work, a tanga egg, a vajnkel. Maybe it's time for you to be too. That's where BlueChew comes in. They're on a mission to boost your confidence and help you perform in the bedroom. Their new formula, BlueChew Gold, is helping millions of men have better sex in 26.

• 12:40Kurt Metzger?

  And honestly, have the confidence to get out of your goon cave for five seconds with BlueChew. BlueChew Gold combines ingredients for blood flow with those for mental arousal and connection. Time for less talking, more rocking. That's what I say. And that's what BlueChew says, or maybe level up with BlueChew Gold. You know, I'm a gay man in a sham relationship with a woman, so I need extra help in the bedroom. And BlueChew Gold works so well, I can even get it up looking at that stinky you know what? Cause she's ready for a better time, I know that. And I probably wasted her best fertile years of her life. I'm gonna need something special, something powerful. That's BlueChew Gold. The thing where we don't have to talk about what the issue is, because my boner says it all.

• 13:23Kurt Metzger?

  Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for free with promo code mystery. That's promo code mystery. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for supporting the podcast and for several boners I have received over the years from the good folks at BlueChew.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Tonight, a mystery underground. New York City police are working to identify the men in this video, wearing waders and carrying flashlights, prying open a manhole in Queens and slipping into the sewer. They're also trying to identify seven men, some with headlamps and shovels, going into the sewer in Brooklyn and then emerging one by one. One guy almost gets hit by a car.

• 14:06Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my God, that would suck so bad.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  This happens from time to time, but there are a lot of hazards down there. Unstable surfaces, confined spaces.

• 14:16Kurt Metzger?

  You can slip.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  Noxious gases. Police in the Department of Environmental Protection inspected the sewer system and said they found nothing tampered with, insisting our infrastructure is safe.

• 14:25Kurt Metzger?

  Thank God.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  Police believe these urban scavengers pose no threat, but David, officials say entering the sewer system is both illegal and extremely dangerous.

• 14:34Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Dangerous in those images.

• 14:36Kurt Metzger?

  There's a, unless you're a trained ninja, I wouldn't ever venture down there.

• 14:41Duncan Trussell?

  No, I would never go down there, but what, do you buy that story they're down there looking for treasure? What kind of treasure do you find in the New York sewers?

• 14:50Kurt Metzger?

  Um, who knows? You gotta just go explore, you know? I say just pick up a shovel and a manhole cover and just see what you find.

• 14:57Duncan Trussell?

  It is fascinating, though, that they, just from seeing these men emerge from the sewers, they're like, they're treasure hunters. How do you think, it could be anything. They could be burying a body down there. There could be anything happening.

• 15:07Kurt Metzger?

  Well, the treasures, the friends you make along the way, as the great meme says.

• 15:10Duncan Trussell?

  That's what I always say. How, how long did you live in New York?

• 15:13Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, man, 20 years, you know, and 20 years of living there, I never popped the one of them.

• 15:18Duncan Trussell?

  Never once.

• 15:19Kurt Metzger?

  You know, they always like these New York traditions, like you, you twist off the end of a fire hydrant and when a hot summer day.

• 15:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 15:25Kurt Metzger?

  Everybody dances around in the firewater, where you probably open a manhole cover, go down there with seven of your buddies. Go looking for.

• 15:31Duncan Trussell?

  That's right, New York sewer treasure.

• 15:34Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, for sewer Jews. They were kind of encrypted back then. Now we know they exist, but at the time it was more of a cryptid situation.

• 15:39Duncan Trussell?

  What was, okay, the New York sewer Jews.

• 15:41Kurt Metzger?

  Dog man or something.

• 15:41Duncan Trussell?

  Is this an older story than what we all know about? Were, were there whispers of the sewer Jews before it hit the mainstream?

• 15:48Kurt Metzger?

  No, I literally, it never came up once. Until I, I'd never.

• 15:52Duncan Trussell?

  No one talked about it.

• 15:53Kurt Metzger?

  No one brought it up. It was mostly a thing about the circumcising with your mouth, uh.

• 15:59Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 15:59Kurt Metzger?

  But it was a strong voting block.

• 16:01Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 16:01Kurt Metzger?

  Bloomberg, of course, is, he's a, he's a trained mythraist, uh, Ma, Ma guy.

• 16:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 16:07Kurt Metzger?

  So he's not gonna do nothing about that.

• 16:08Duncan Trussell?

  So you never, 20 years, you'd think in 20 years, you would hear about sewer treasure hunters, you would hear that there's treasure in the sewers.

• 16:16Kurt Metzger?

  The Ark of the Governor could be there, for all you know.

• 16:18Duncan Trussell?

  Maybe not. Maybe. You never know.

• 16:20Kurt Metzger?

  Maybe not now.

• 16:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 16:22Kurt Metzger?

  Thanks, Homeland Security.

• 16:23Duncan Trussell?

  They got it. It's gonna be hard to get the Ark out of a manhole, though.

• 16:27Kurt Metzger?

  You see how they foiled that plot at UFC? I texted Joe to see if he was okay.

• 16:31Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I saw, I didn't know, I just like spun by it when I was doom scrolling. I figured there was gonna be some kind of plot. They arrested somebody.

• 16:38Kurt Metzger?

  Tyson Proper, I think his name is, uh, let's get a picture of the suspect. Really, there's five suspects, and I heard one of them might be an illegal, and they were planning an elaborate, elaborate, some would say, uh, far-fetched and not real, uh, plan.

• 16:54Duncan Trussell?

  What was the plan?

• 16:54Kurt Metzger?

  How crazy it was. Well, probably a lot of digging in the sewer.

• 16:59Duncan Trussell?

  Really? They were gonna come up through this viewers?

• 17:01Kurt Metzger?

  They're gonna, oh, let's see, let's see what the news tells us. But you see guy's face? I wanted to show you this face.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  Our other top story this evening, and we are learning new details tonight.

• 17:10Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, they're after just Dan's Vance and uh.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  At the White House from Sunday. Tonight, new court records show the FBI believes this group was targeting President Trump, Vice President Vance, and others.

• 17:21Speaker 05

  The FBI saying that the plan included dropping explosives from drones over the event there with the hopes the panic would drive people to run out where they would be easy targets for snipers planning to shoot down their targets. So the FBI learned about the possible threat Wednesday, four days before.

• 17:38Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, god damn it. Can we pull up their mug shots? These, these dangerous assassins.

• 17:46Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, who will be America's next top retard?

• 17:51Kurt Metzger?

  It really is like an American Idol where they go looking for the most slow poke. Like they go on Discord in a video game thing. But, uh, yeah, so do you know what the motive of terrorism was?

• 18:01Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 18:01Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, dissatisfaction with the handling of the Epstein files? That's the new radical Islam, y'all.

• 18:07Duncan Trussell?

  Are you fucking shitting me, man?

• 18:09Kurt Metzger?

  I know, you knew that you should, we all knew we should shut up about it, but who knew we were supporting terror?

• 18:14Duncan Trussell?

  Holy shit.

• 18:16Kurt Metzger?

  Nation of guitar. Do you know?

• 18:18Duncan Trussell?

  Dissatisfaction.

• 18:19Kurt Metzger?

  It's pronounced guitar, like the instrument. Do you take guitari money? You know, they go.

• 18:25Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, guitar.

• 18:26Kurt Metzger?

  No, it's guitar. It's pronounced guitar.

• 18:27Duncan Trussell?

  I thought it was cutter.

• 18:29Kurt Metzger?

  I did too. It's actually, uh, guitar.

• 18:31Duncan Trussell?

  Guitar?

• 18:32Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, guitar.

• 18:33Duncan Trussell?

  Let's pull up these assassins, these trained malicious Epstein investigators.

• 18:40Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, we're talking about guys possibly with tier one operator, uh, level skills. I mean, I don't know all the tradecraft, but, uh, put this guy's face up and you know you're dealing with, with, uh.

• 18:52Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you see it? Can we put it on this TV? All I see is, uh, the back, uh.

• 18:58Kurt Metzger?

  There we go, look at that guy.

• 19:00Duncan Trussell?

  Holy fucking shit.

• 19:01Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, what do we say, mixed race or no?

• 19:04Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 19:05Kurt Metzger?

  Mixed race or just, uh, all, all one, uh, or just like a pug?

• 19:10Duncan Trussell?

  I, I don't know, man, but he's hot.

• 19:14Kurt Metzger?

  Facing proper?

• 19:15Duncan Trussell?

  Mugged. We just, did we just get mugged by this dude?

• 19:18Kurt Metzger?

  Not me. We, if now, if he had.

• 19:22Duncan Trussell?

  He mugged me.

• 19:23Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, maybe they were gonna try to mog JD Vance.

• 19:26Duncan Trussell?

  Maybe that's, it's some, it's a, it's a mog terrorist.

• 19:29Kurt Metzger?

  Have you heard about sewer mugging? It's a new thing going on.

• 19:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:33Kurt Metzger?

  You're like the hottest guy in the sewer. You know, then some other guy, oh, now I'm the hottest guy in the sewer. Pretty soon you got eight, seven, eight guys down there. Mugging the hell out of each other.

• 19:42Duncan Trussell?

  You know, I do think though, this is like, the, the sewer Jews, as well as the sewer excavators, is a great entry point to a true mystery that, uh, many of us have wondered about, which, um, is what the fuck is underground? What's going on down there? Is it possible that underneath the United States and the whole planet? There are massive networks of tunnels, underground subways, bizarre experiments, reptilians.

• 20:15Kurt Metzger?

  You mean the maglev?

• 20:16Duncan Trussell?

  The maglev, yeah, exactly.

• 20:18Kurt Metzger?

  The thing that China's building above ground. That they're gonna let their citizens use. You know that commie hellhole China?

• 20:24Duncan Trussell?

  I've heard of it.

• 20:25Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, they're, they're building a maglev. They have flying cars, also a maglev, the thing that, uh, we've had since the nineties here, but you're not allowed on it, it's underground.

• 20:32Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 20:33Kurt Metzger?

  Why, why do we have a maglev though, Duncan? Do you know why? Because of, and this is the thing that's gonna really bring problems for this channel.

• 20:40Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 20:41Kurt Metzger?

  COG, continuity government. It's the thing you should never talk about.

• 20:46Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, before we get to continuity of government, I thought that maybe we would just build up, you know, sort of the, the known, known, known precursors to where we're gonna go to, which is, can you pull up that ancient city? This has always blown my mind. For those of, you know, cause maybe some of you, probably not people watching the mystery voice, but some people are like, there's no fucking way. There's a massive labyrinth of tunnels built by the government under the United States. Pull up the.

• 21:13Kurt Metzger?

  Some of them were there though.

• 21:14Duncan Trussell?

  This is a fascinating. Underground city in Turkey. This dude was noticing air rushing out of his basement.

• 21:24Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 21:25Duncan Trussell?

  They, I think, cleared a wall away and finds this.

• 21:28Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's where I got my hair plugs.

• 21:30Duncan Trussell?

  That's where, yeah, now it's all hair plugs down there.

• 21:32Kurt Metzger?

  Osgood Turkman Kirk.

• 21:34Duncan Trussell?

  It used to be a historic site, but yeah, so this is like, you, can you Google the, this underground city? So we can just show people like videos of this fucking thing, which is fascinating. This is a massive underground city, including ventilation. It's just essentially like an ant's nest underground.

• 21:54Kurt Metzger?

  Back to work, Tanner.

• 21:59Kurt Metzger?

  I like to tell if someone's. Hey you, why are you getting up? Back to work.

• 22:05Duncan Trussell?

  Check this out.

• 22:05Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 22:06Speaker 06

  This place doesn't end. I literally have no idea where we came from.

• 22:10Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, where is this?

• 22:11Duncan Trussell?

  This is the, this is the.

• 22:12Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Turkey.

• 22:13Duncan Trussell?

  You got your hair transplants.

• 22:15Kurt Metzger?

  Right, yeah. Well, you see, the air, it keeps the humidity out of your.

• 22:19Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, I get it.

• 22:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and then this is right down where you go. Yup. It's not bad. I mean, this, this actually got a little bit spooky.

• 22:28Duncan Trussell?

  I wouldn't want to walk through there to get new hair.

• 22:30Kurt Metzger?

  Once you get in, it opens up and then you're like, oh.

• 22:35Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and then I got into there and just laid flat.

• 22:39Duncan Trussell?

  This is just sitting behind someone's house for the longest time. And now it's a historic site. My point, the point is, this was a very long time ago.

• 22:49Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, four kilometers, can we convert that to like not communist measurements, please?

• 22:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, please. No more pinko measurements, guys.

• 22:55Kurt Metzger?

  That might be three inches.

• 22:56Duncan Trussell?

  Hologram.

• 22:56Kurt Metzger?

  That might be a million feet. I don't know, because I don't know that system, because I'm from this country.

• 23:03Duncan Trussell?

  It's almost, it's two and a half miles of tunnels.

• 23:06Kurt Metzger?

  That's, I mean.

• 23:07Duncan Trussell?

  Dug by the ancients, so.

• 23:11Kurt Metzger?

  Tiny people look like.

• 23:12Duncan Trussell?

  And then, so let's cut to modern time, just to create a like backstory before we get to continuity of government, which is the actor bond. You've heard of this, right?

• 23:20Kurt Metzger?

  I brought it up to Christina P. Well, I was working deep undercover in my LGBTQ CIA outfit.

• 23:27Duncan Trussell?

  Actor Bonn.

• 23:29Kurt Metzger?

  Not actor ban, Bonn.

• 23:32Duncan Trussell?

  Is this thing, has this been proven this exists?

• 23:34Kurt Metzger?

  No, it hasn't been proven. But it probably does exist.

• 23:38Duncan Trussell?

  A viral Los Angeles urban legend and internet conspiracy theory claiming that a secret underground tunnel network exists for Hollywood's elite to bypass city traffic.

• 23:49Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, the secret Starbucks. You go and they they know your order and the guy knew Seinfeld's order and uh.

• 23:53Duncan Trussell?

  Well, look, a day at the secret Starbucks. So that is, is that?

• 23:57Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's the secret.

• 23:58Duncan Trussell?

  That's real.

• 24:00Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see what it says. Uh beneath. When did this come out?

• 24:06Speaker 05

  October 18th, 2024.

• 24:09Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, it's two years ago.

• 24:12Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, let's see. Inside the depths of a series of tunnels is Starbucks. Yeah, secret Starbucks. Uh, so actor Bond is part of secret Starbucks, I say.

• 24:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 24:24Kurt Metzger?

  Um, why is this a myth? Why are they saying it's a myth? It's not. Also, under the Getty, there's 100% tunnels and stuff under there. If there's a real problem in in uh California, the governor goes to the bunker underneath Getty. So that's what's under there. If uh the US gets nuked, let's say, God forbid Iran or North Korea get nukes. And then the first thing they're gonna do is launch him this way.

• 24:46Duncan Trussell?

  Please God, protect this country from Iran.

• 24:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, please. You, God.

• 24:49Duncan Trussell?

  Please God, protect this country.

• 24:50Kurt Metzger?

  Send your golden dome to our leader of the bravest man I know of.

• 24:55Duncan Trussell?

  Please God, build the ballroom.

• 24:57Kurt Metzger?

  Larry Ellison and and give him the strength that he needs. I know his plastic surgery. He might have went to Turkey for, I I wouldn't get a facelift in Turkey like he did, but hair plugs. That's the thing you get. Everybody knows that. Anyway, help him, Lord Larry Ellison. Uh, defend this nation, help our shadow president. Uh, and also help uh the uh, oh, look at those eyes.

• 25:21Duncan Trussell?

  The animals.

• 25:21Kurt Metzger?

  Usually, you talk about a great man. Look at those eyes. Now, who could?

• 25:24Duncan Trussell?

  Good man, good dude.

• 25:25Kurt Metzger?

  Who could possibly have a problem with a this man uh watching you shower using your smart?

• 25:31Duncan Trussell?

  Not me.

• 25:32Kurt Metzger?

  Your smart fridge.

• 25:33Duncan Trussell?

  I have a picture of him in my shower already.

• 25:38Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I hear that. I hear that.

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• 26:42Kurt Metzger?

  I had to take mine out of the shower because I don't have time to be in there.

• 26:45Duncan Trussell?

  I know. I know why you took it out.

• 26:47Kurt Metzger?

  Beautiful eyes.

• 26:48Duncan Trussell?

  I had that problem too for a little bit, but yeah.

• 26:51Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I'm like, I'm not gonna be mugged in my own shower by Larry Ellison, I'll tell you that.

• 26:55Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, nobody likes getting an Ellison knock.

• 26:58Kurt Metzger?

  Can you put him back up, but not too long because I don't want to get mugged too hard again?

• 27:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh yeah, mugging. Oh my God. Do you feel yourself getting mugged? Because you know why? Look at that great work he had done. It's got like Kenny Rogers eyes.

• 27:13Kurt Metzger?

  Did he go to Kenny Rogers guy? Oh, look at him.

• 27:16Duncan Trussell?

  Let's pull up Kenny Rogers.

• 27:17Kurt Metzger?

  That's the face Larry Ellison makes when a new employee is at his private Hawaiian island.

• 27:24Duncan Trussell?

  Welcome to my, oh my God.

• 27:25Kurt Metzger?

  No, the newer kid. Keep going. The new.

• 27:29Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah.

• 27:32Kurt Metzger?

  There he is.

• 27:33Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that, born again.

• 27:36Kurt Metzger?

  Now, let's keep him up and you know what? Let's have a battle. Let's have an.

• 27:39Duncan Trussell?

  That's insane. It's the same eye.

• 27:41Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait, wait. We gotta add one more. We gotta add one more. Okay? Who's that guy that talks about aliens and he's friends with Vallet and them and he's, and he's, you know, he was doing the test. He's like a respectable UFO guy. He's got eye lift just like that. I'm fucking forgetting his name. He's friends with Fauci, it turns out, that son of a bitch. Um, wait, wait, wait, wait. Shit, uh, put like UFO disclosure, scientists. Oh, wait, let's see if that.

• 28:09Duncan Trussell?

  Gary Nolan?

• 28:09Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, the great work.

• 28:10Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, you guys are good.

• 28:12Kurt Metzger?

  Gary Nolan. Yeah, that's why you know, um, that you can trust Gary Nolan because he's really good friends with Dr. Fauci, another great man.

• 28:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, let's just get on his eyes though.

• 28:25Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, when I look, when he tells me about, uh, UAP.

• 28:27Duncan Trussell?

  What is this?

• 28:29Kurt Metzger?

  About, uh, wet ass pussy and, or UAPs. There you go. Wait, can we get it with no glasses? I, I'd like to get those off window panes, obviously. I'd like to see. It's like the three tenors, but of beautiful eyes, these guys.

• 28:45Duncan Trussell?

  Why? Why?

• 28:46Kurt Metzger?

  You know, you can't, let's make a nice bigger Nolan and get him next to those other guys and we're gonna have a mog off. Okay, battle of the beautiful eyes.

• 28:54Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck, man. I've never seen.

• 28:57Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, there's an epic battle of eye moggers that you.

• 29:00Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up the leader of Heaven's Gate?

• 29:02Kurt Metzger?

  Look at the three of them.

• 29:04Duncan Trussell?

  Cause it feels like he's got the same eyes, but I could be totally wrong.

• 29:06Kurt Metzger?

  No, uh.

• 29:07Duncan Trussell?

  I could be wrong, I could be wrong.

• 29:08Kurt Metzger?

  I bet you're way off on this. I would remember. No.

• 29:11Duncan Trussell?

  No, he's got different eyes. You're right.

• 29:13Kurt Metzger?

  He's not looks maxing, that's just regular eyes.

• 29:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's regular.

• 29:16Kurt Metzger?

  He wasted his looks maxing on his dick.

• 29:18Duncan Trussell?

  You're right.

• 29:19Kurt Metzger?

  With the removal thereof. Um, no, that's the best, uh.

• 29:23Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, that's wild that you would get someone to do that to your eyes.

• 29:27Kurt Metzger?

  And then there you go. Yeah, look at that. And then good, three of them on a private Hawaiian island. Picture the scene, traditional native Hawaiian dance.

• 29:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 29:36Kurt Metzger?

  Lot of tech guys there, nobody knows.

• 29:38Duncan Trussell?

  Flowers in the air.

• 29:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, uh, she dances. Oh, one woman's holding a baby.

• 29:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 29:43Kurt Metzger?

  Then, uh, they, they throw the baby in the air and then everybody rips handfuls of baby and devours it. And then there's Larry Ellison, go back to Larry Ellison. There's Larry Ellison, smiling at you. You're one of us now. Enjoy some raw baby. You made it. Partake in the life. In the life and then, uh, and then you run away like a coward. Like a coward. You wake up on the shore hours later and you're fired. You just got mogged.

• 30:11Duncan Trussell?

  Did you say you're fired?

• 30:12Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. That was a test and you didn't pass.

• 30:15Duncan Trussell?

  I got fired for not eating a baby.

• 30:18Kurt Metzger?

  It's one of the gravest insults in that culture.

• 30:21Duncan Trussell?

  Why did you leave your last job? Well...

• 30:23Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I mean, I'm not sure if I was fired. I didn't go back is the thing. Because, uh, you know, they were eating a raw baby and I'm like, I... I prob- you know, this is where I'm bad. I probably should have said, "No, I'm not. I don't care for that." But I just was like, didn't- I didn't expect- look, I'm not ready for the big time.

• 30:40Duncan Trussell?

  I just got nervous.

• 30:42Kurt Metzger?

  You handed me a- like, with his beady little sewer Jew hands of a piece of baby?

• 30:47Duncan Trussell?

  My imposter syndrome kicked in and I just didn't eat the baby.

• 30:57Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, then I got imposter syndrome.

• 31:01Duncan Trussell?

  So...

• 31:01Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my god.

• 31:02Duncan Trussell?

  Um, so here, now we've sort of set up, uh, what I would say and you- you... Do you feel like we've done a...

• 31:10Kurt Metzger?

  There they are.

• 31:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. And those are the sewer children, beautiful sewer children of New York.

• 31:15Kurt Metzger?

  They're doing beautiful things in those.

• 31:16Duncan Trussell?

  But I think by now we've set up an incontrovertible, like, base for what we're about to talk about because we now see that there was an ancient city, that there's an underground Starbucks.

• 31:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 31:26Duncan Trussell?

  And Larry Ellison's eyes, we now can, I think, confirm that there's underground military bases that stretch across the United States that have a maglev train that people use to travel around the country.

• 31:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so according to, uh, Nathan Reynolds, my, uh, my plug on a lot of weird shit,

• 31:47Kurt Metzger?

  uh, it's something to do with neptunium and you run a charge through it and somehow that does something that makes this train maglev. I don't understand a single part of it. When we went to the, uh, University of Texas, those guys didn't know shit about it, any of it.

• 31:58Duncan Trussell?

  Neptunium?

• 32:00Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, none of them knew anything about neptunium. And there's nothing- I've never found anything that says neptunium.

• 32:04Duncan Trussell?

  It's a synthetic atomic chemical and I'm trying to remember.

• 32:08Kurt Metzger?

  What's the electron configuration?

• 32:10Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, RN5, uh, parentheses, uh, F460.

• 32:14Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, right. Uh, 7, 5, uh, squared. Yes.

• 32:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 32:17Kurt Metzger?

  Of course, neptunium, now I remember.

• 32:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, right. So this is what they're using to run maglevs?

• 32:22Kurt Metzger?

  Floating magnet. Uh, so that's the levitation thing, uh, magnetic, the floating magnet experiment. So some of it Ne- Neptunian where you could do this. I don't, I don't, I don't know or understand why.

• 32:32Duncan Trussell?

  Well, thi- this is just sort of how all, all those trains work, right? They, they levitate, right? It's, this is what, and, and some scientists have disappeared who were looking into world room temperature superconducting, cause it takes a lot of energy to cool shit down.

• 32:49Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see, uh, oh, Tel Aviv University.

• 32:53Duncan Trussell?

  Great university.

• 32:54Kurt Metzger?

  Professor Guy Deutcher, Guy Germiner is what that would mean in English. His team were working on extreme cold and super strong magnets.

• 33:02Duncan Trussell?

  Almost as strong as my husband, Zachary Eddington. Who the fuck says that? What the fuck is this?

• 33:09Kurt Metzger?

  Shit. Tanner, I don't want to be-

• 33:11Duncan Trussell?

  Don't mog us!

• 33:12Kurt Metzger?

  I do not want to be science mogged, okay?

• 33:14Duncan Trussell?

  We just got science mogged. He's a pro wrestler. Wait, what, what just happened? What, go back to that article.

• 33:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God, I almost died just now of the mogging that was just done to me.

• 33:22Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, this is the dumbest article I've ever seen in my life. Let's just start from the top. Can you scroll down a little bit? Magnets have always, go to the very first line. Magnets have always seemed magical to me.

• 33:33Kurt Metzger?

  Wow.

• 33:34Duncan Trussell?

  They pull and push, but don't move themselves, yet the world rearranges itself around it. Nothing moves, yet everything responds, almost like the charm of people. Magnetism changes everything.

• 33:46Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God.

• 33:46Duncan Trussell?

  And then somehow they worked into this, a picture of their fucking husband. It's the stupidest shit.

• 33:52Kurt Metzger?

  Who's this? I wanna see what this chick looks like.

• 33:54Duncan Trussell?

  Where'd you guys find this?

• 33:56Kurt Metzger?

  Michelle Garguelo. Can we see what she looks like? Michelle Garguelo? See that name? Put it, I need a picture.

• 34:01Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, she's got a wine, pairing wine with your dog.

• 34:07Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever wondered what wine paired perfectly with your happy little pooch?

• 34:11Kurt Metzger?

  They're spirit wines.

• 34:12Duncan Trussell?

  Who the fuck is Michelle Garg-? Forget the underground bullshit. The, the episode is now about Michelle Garguelo.

• 34:17Kurt Metzger?

  She's saying which wine sips best, this girl, let's see, Michelle Garguelo. Let's look at a picture of her. I know she, I know she's got a really strong husband.

• 34:26Duncan Trussell?

  He's beautiful, strong, beautiful, and he's a wrestler.

• 34:28Kurt Metzger?

  Isn't she afraid of being mogged by her own husband though?

• 34:31Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 34:32Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see.

• 34:33Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 34:34Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I mean, I'd hit it, but not with Zachary Eddington around. He'd be, I bet he'd mog me and then, uh,

• 34:42Duncan Trussell?

  Honey, I'm writing an article about magnets.

• 34:45Kurt Metzger?

  Did she give birth to that dog?

• 34:52Duncan Trussell?

  Just mention me in it, alright?

• 34:54Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta make some protein, what are you doing? I'm just writing about magnets.

• 34:57Duncan Trussell?

  How come you never mentioned me in your books?

• 34:59Kurt Metzger?

  Is there any of that dog left from last night?

• 35:03Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, what wine pairs with chihuahua again?

• 35:06Kurt Metzger?

  I don't want wine, I'm trying to cut. I'm not, I'm not bulking anymore, I told you. Bitch.

• 35:13Kurt Metzger?

  And she cries and goes back to writing. I told you, I'm trying to cut weight bitch, you're not listening to me.

• 35:18Duncan Trussell?

  You, you better put me in that manor, oh cool.

• 35:20Kurt Metzger?

  The splattering of what?

• 35:22Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, so here we go. What the fuck have we just stumbled upon? Annihilation archetypes?

• 35:27Kurt Metzger?

  Oh man, you just give me a great wine, a small dog in this book.

• 35:31Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull the, the book up so we can look at it? Cause is that her husband on the front?

• 35:35Kurt Metzger?

  Now try to guess which one I'm gonna eat, read and drink and fuck.

• 35:40Kurt Metzger?

  I think you'll be surprised.

• 35:41Duncan Trussell?

  Fifty dollars?

• 35:43Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 35:44Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 35:45Kurt Metzger?

  And then look at, now that looks like an ideal, oh, she's like a mermaid. By the way, have you seen like when people have like mermaid based things?

• 35:54Duncan Trussell?

  Like what?

• 35:54Kurt Metzger?

  Like mermaid weddings and shit?

• 35:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, sure.

• 35:57Kurt Metzger?

  I, Eliza Schlesinger is who first drew my, uh...

• 36:00Duncan Trussell?

  She had a mermaid wedding?

• 36:01Kurt Metzger?

  No, but she was one of the first people to speak out against chicks that are into mermaids and, and, uh, you know, when no one else was, by the way.

• 36:09Duncan Trussell?

  She's always on the cutting edge, but...

• 36:10Kurt Metzger?

  So she knows, yeah.

• 36:12Duncan Trussell?

  So wait, I'm, you know what, this, you gotta fill me in here, man, because I've, I didn't know that this was, I, you know, I know Disney adults, like basic bitch stuff like that, but tell me about this.

• 36:22Kurt Metzger?

  About which part?

• 36:22Duncan Trussell?

  The mermaid adults.

• 36:25Kurt Metzger?

  I couldn't get to the rest of her special, so I don't know the whole story. But...

• 36:28Duncan Trussell?

  Right, your internet went up.

• 36:29Kurt Metzger?

  Not because it wasn't hysterical, it's my internet, I hadn't paid my bill.

• 36:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 36:33Kurt Metzger?

  I hadn't paid any bills in quite some time.

• 36:34Duncan Trussell?

  No, they're such assholes.

• 36:35Kurt Metzger?

  I'm saving up money for great hair plugs and it was worth it.

• 36:37Duncan Trussell?

  It is worth it.

• 36:38Kurt Metzger?

  I went through some tough times, like I earned this hair.

• 36:41Duncan Trussell?

  The Little Mermaid, sure, whatever.

• 36:43Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, now...

• 36:46Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, the girl, her eyes are as far apart as a fish. I feel like she was a great pick. You know, I know people didn't like it, but I mean, when you see an actress whose eyes are on, literally on the sides of her head.

• 36:56Duncan Trussell?

  She's a fucking mermaid. They have to have eyes on each side. There's sharks down there. They have to have stretched out eyes. They're sharks. You have to be able to see from both sides.

• 37:03Kurt Metzger?

  Guillermo del Toro made a movie about fucking fish people and you all gave him an Oscar.

• 37:08Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, I love that.

• 37:09Kurt Metzger?

  What does this fish girl get?

• 37:10Duncan Trussell?

  I love that movie.

• 37:11Kurt Metzger?

  Disney finds a real life fish girl of color. You know how hard that is?

• 37:13Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, look, we have the, what the, that eye, the plastic surgery doctor's been using to do eye surgeries.

• 37:23Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I did see this when I was getting my hair. They had like, uh, they're like, you know, you could pick out the number you want of, uh, eye haircut.

• 37:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 37:30Kurt Metzger?

  So to speak. I go, give me the, uh, FAS.

• 37:34Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, is there any way you could make my eyes look like a child with fetal alcohol syndrome?

• 37:38Kurt Metzger?

  You know, here's, and, okay, I'm gonna tell you.

• 37:40Duncan Trussell?

  I just got mobbed by one.

• 37:42Kurt Metzger?

  I'm looking for, uh, wait, wait, go back. I'm trying to explain what I need to the surgeon. I'm looking for short, uh, palpebral features, if you, if that makes sense.

• 37:50Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, what do you want your filtering to look like?

• 37:52Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, indistinct?

• 37:54Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 37:55Kurt Metzger?

  I'd like you to, it, my filtering right now is way too distinct.

• 37:58Duncan Trussell?

  I can't help but notice you got a really fat upper lip.

• 38:00Kurt Metzger?

  And that brings me to the next thing I'm gonna need you to take a look at because this lip is too fat. I'd like it to be almost imperceptible. Like, you don't think it's there, but then, you know, well, you're so busy focusing on my short, uh, palpebral fissures.

• 38:14Duncan Trussell?

  Couldn't help but notice you do have a short palpebral fissure.

• 38:17Kurt Metzger?

  And, and in my face, I just really need a good, like, flat mid-face.

• 38:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I'll flatten you out.

• 38:22Kurt Metzger?

  Have you ever seen, uh, The Black Little Mermaid? I'm kinda going, I know you can't get it exactly.

• 38:26Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, Black Little Mermaid, yeah.

• 38:28Kurt Metzger?

  Like a flat mid-face.

• 38:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, well, Poseidon was a drunk, so.

• 38:32Kurt Metzger?

  That's exactly right. He was a drunk and he slept around with a lot of different races.

• 38:36Duncan Trussell?

  A lot of ladies.

• 38:37Kurt Metzger?

  So guess what? This is lore accurate, The Little Mermaid. Sorry, chuds.

• 38:40Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up, um, what is it they said? So like, apparently like the mermaid myth came from horny sailors banging manatees, right?

• 38:50Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, the liber sea cow, I believe.

• 38:52Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up a manatee? I'm pretty sure it was a manatee. I don't know what a liber sea cow is, but I just thought it was banging manatee.

• 38:57Kurt Metzger?

  The liber, uh, the liber, uh, sea vacay, we could call it.

• 39:01Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Stellar sea cow.

• 39:04Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 39:05Duncan Trussell?

  Let's pull up an image search of just a manatee, because I'm pretty sure this shows how horny you get out at sea. Is you see one of these and you're like, that's a lady.

• 39:13Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it reminds me of uh, somebody, but I can't put my finger on it. Oh, now that. You know, if you're gonna have the, now, if you're gonna have the sea cow try to mog me, then I'm just gonna run my jet ski into it. Don't do that. Don't stop trying to mog me. Why is everybody trying to mog me here? I'm sorry that my hair looks good.

• 39:28Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, you're being paranoid. No one's trying to mog you. You're mogging us, alright?

• 39:31Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I mean. You know, don't. You know, only losers are haters. That's black pill thinking and um, doomer thinking.

• 39:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 39:39Kurt Metzger?

  And if you're jealous of me, that's because you're a doomer and you uh, and you will never be able to afford a home. And also, I'm sure your taints are too small because you guys look young in the, in the booth there.

• 39:49Duncan Trussell?

  Get mogged.

• 39:50Kurt Metzger?

  Don't be jealous.

• 39:51Duncan Trussell?

  Get mogged, doomer bitch.

• 39:52Kurt Metzger?

  And I want to say to the rest of the pores watching this.

• 39:54Duncan Trussell?

  Poor bitch.

• 39:55Kurt Metzger?

  Don't be mad at me.

• 39:56Duncan Trussell?

  Get mogged.

• 39:56Kurt Metzger?

  That's low IQ thinking.

• 39:58Duncan Trussell?

  Get mogged, you're low IQ.

• 39:59Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. And by the way, we're gonna be giving out a Gavin Mcginnis award for high IQ thinking later. I want to point that out.

• 40:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's some pretty intense drama that went down with you. We don't have to like, we can like.

• 40:08Kurt Metzger?

  No, I owe an apology. That was bald me. But since I, I got this uh, hair, I got a different, I don't, I don't have a loser parasite attitude of like, ah, oh, Trump. You did all the opposite of the things you said you were gonna do and, and then some bullshit with the ballroom and killing kids. Wah, I, I don't produce. I only cry and try to take what other hardworking people.

• 40:31Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 40:31Kurt Metzger?

  Like the hardworking Gavin Mcginnis of Canada.

• 40:34Duncan Trussell?

  Did you ever?

• 40:34Kurt Metzger?

  The hardworking monarchist and uh, founder of Vice magazine.

• 40:38Duncan Trussell?

  Did you ever watch?

• 40:39Kurt Metzger?

  Which later turned out to be a CIA cutout. And founder of the Proud Boys, which later turned out to be an FBI cutout.

• 40:44Duncan Trussell?

  Did you ever watch?

• 40:45Kurt Metzger?

  It could happen to anyone.

• 40:46Duncan Trussell?

  It could happen to anybody. And uh, this is.

• 40:48Kurt Metzger?

  That's suspicious. That's bald me.

• 40:50Duncan Trussell?

  And I helped him write the apology. So it's pretty, it's, it's powerful. And dude, honestly, I. Even before we get to the apology, which I don't know if we should do this second. Uh, I just want to say. Spending that time with you, watching you go through what you were going through, the regret, the. It was, it really made me respect you even more, man. You, you were, you're a true man. Because it takes a man to, to write an apology like that.

• 41:15Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god, it was like Trainspotting uh, when he's going through the withdrawals. That's what it was like for me.

• 41:20Duncan Trussell?

  It was intense.

• 41:21Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that might have been a fever from uh. You know, a lot of people.

• 41:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 41:25Kurt Metzger?

  I, I don't know if it was bot- look, when it's Turkish hair plugs, maybe it's hair plug fever, maybe it's bottom fever.

• 41:30Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, look, fever's fever.

• 41:31Kurt Metzger?

  Hard way for these, this guy.

• 41:32Duncan Trussell?

  Bottom, top, it's all a fever.

• 41:35Kurt Metzger?

  That's right.

• 41:36Duncan Trussell?

  As above, so below.

• 41:37Kurt Metzger?

  Asshole, pussy, it's all the same thing at the end of the day.

• 41:39Duncan Trussell?

  What's the difference?

• 41:40Kurt Metzger?

  Right?

• 41:41Duncan Trussell?

  What's the difference?

• 41:41Kurt Metzger?

  If Stephen King's, I mean, Stephen Spielberg's disclosure has taught us anything, that dick, pussy, asshole, mouth, what's the difference?

• 41:50Duncan Trussell?

  Supposedly, Stephen-

• 41:51Kurt Metzger?

  As long as they're not too old, that's what Spielberg is into.

• 41:54Duncan Trussell?

  Did, did disclosure make you question your faith? Cause Spielberg said it might make some people question their faith.

• 41:59Kurt Metzger?

  I spit on the coward Christ after I saw it.

• 42:02Duncan Trussell?

  You did not.

• 42:03Kurt Metzger?

  I finally worked up the nerves to tell the coward Christ, you know what? I just got a great movie called Disclosure, with Steven Spielberg! And, uh, now my god is a gray thing that lures me into a gingerbread house and fingers me. Okay? I thought there's a beautiful story of two kids, one girl with monarch butterflies all over her room, who gets lured out by Disney animals singing, someday my prince will come, into the Hansel and Gretel house, and they say it in the movie. Then the children are held down, and the, and the visitors, we don't know they're aliens, the visitors do things to them.

• 42:36Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 42:36Kurt Metzger?

  Things that make them better. Things that make an initiation, if you will.

• 42:40Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 42:40Kurt Metzger?

  And then at the end, uh, they reveal themselves and they go, listen, but we don't get to know what it is. So it's kind of like, the end, question mark?

• 42:49Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 42:50Kurt Metzger?

  The end?

• 42:50Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool.

• 42:51Kurt Metzger?

  And then the, the ball's in your court now. Are you gonna learn empathy?

• 42:54Duncan Trussell?

  Empathy.

• 42:55Kurt Metzger?

  You know, like the kind of empathy Steven Spielberg has?

• 42:58Duncan Trussell?

  Empathy. That's the message from the stars.

• 43:01Kurt Metzger?

  Well, not for Iran, and don't be anti-Semitic. Let's all calm the fuck down with their hippie shit. I'm just saying, empathy within reason, but not too.

• 43:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, don't-

• 43:12Kurt Metzger?

  It's a tough road to hoe. I just wait for instructions.

• 43:14Duncan Trussell?

  It's a balancing act. You get too empathetic, like, ugh. If everyone was too empathetic, it would be really fucked up. We get world peace and we know what that, that looks like.

• 43:23Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we know exactly where it leads to, uh, what.

• 43:26Duncan Trussell?

  It means to the frowning Jew in the picture you showed me.

• 43:31Kurt Metzger?

  It leads to radical Islam directly.

• 43:35Duncan Trussell?

  Damn, dude.

• 43:37Kurt Metzger?

  This is where we're at now, guys, okay? I'm gonna show you where we're at. Here, not good. Not good, Tanner. Yeah, and yes, I'm talking to you, Tanner. You know what I'm talking about. Now, let's put on where we need to get the score. Come on. Let's, let's show the other score, the score we're gonna, we're gonna work towards. Ah, look at that. Now, I wanna see that beautiful.

• 43:56Duncan Trussell?

  We'll get back there.

• 43:57Kurt Metzger?

  That beautiful, chosen. Uh, plenty of gums on them teeth.

• 44:02Duncan Trussell?

  We'll get back there.

• 44:03Kurt Metzger?

  Okay? Guy's got no shortage of gums. If you're like, hey, does he have enough gums to get through his life?

• 44:06Duncan Trussell?

  Honestly, he's got very healthy gums.

• 44:08Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like he has, uh, no top lip.

• 44:11Duncan Trussell?

  You don't need a lip if you have gums like that.

• 44:13Kurt Metzger?

  It's almost like the legendary Windigo that would chew its own lips off.

• 44:18Duncan Trussell?

  Sometimes you do when you're stressed, you chew on your lips.

• 44:21Kurt Metzger?

  When you're stressed from constant terrorism.

• 44:25Kurt Metzger?

  You know?

• 44:26Duncan Trussell?

  So, now, we've established that for sure there's a massive network of underground military. Oh, I forgot, can you guys look up Strava military bases? I sent this to you.

• 44:38Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. But you, you need to put in, uh, COG because you, you don't understanding why we have these bases, are you?

• 44:43Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, wait, real quick. Last proof. Uh, Strava came out and you could, it could track where you're exercising.

• 44:51Kurt Metzger?

  This was in Argentina, so this is probably England, the UK bases.

• 44:54Duncan Trussell?

  So, all of these, like, hidden military bases showed up with people exercising under the earth. So.

• 45:00Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm, trying to mog each other, a secret army of moggers. Working on their abs. Looks maxing. It's not a sewer down there, it's a gym.

• 45:10Duncan Trussell?

  Didn't, by the way, didn't, didn't Clavicular just get a bad nose job?

• 45:13Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, well, that's part of why our score's so low. On the, uh, Israel meter.

• 45:18Duncan Trussell?

  Can you look up Clavicular bad nose job? This is really sad.

• 45:21Kurt Metzger?

  That's why Peter Thiel left the country, he was brokenhearted. Poor guy. He used to be a beautiful boy. Let's see Clavicular and I, and.

• 45:29Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, fuck, I didn't see, I haven't seen it yet.

• 45:32Kurt Metzger?

  Look, uh, Clav, listen, buddy, I never meant to mog.

• 45:35Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, that's brutal.

• 45:36Kurt Metzger?

  Clav, I know I'm mogging you right now, but I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to.

• 45:39Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, I thought mogging was like, you're more handsome and you're in the presence.

• 45:43Kurt Metzger?

  My god, he looks like a burn victim.

• 45:44Duncan Trussell?

  Is that his new one? Oh, shit, they shaved him down.

• 45:48Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, maybe he could wear a mask from now on.

• 45:50Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, he's done, once you fuck up your nose, you're done.

• 45:53Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I think his only hope now is to get like 10 to 13 more surgeries.

• 45:57Duncan Trussell?

  The, I, it is possible.

• 45:59Kurt Metzger?

  Just have him keep opening it up again and again.

• 46:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, and he livestreamed it.

• 46:04Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see, understanding clavicular, let's go with this young man with the fascist hair and mustache and see what he has to say.

• 46:09Speaker 06

  He is withering right in front of our eyes. For those out of the note, clavicular has been on a whole cocktail of substances to, you know, improve his looks, and it seems like those substances have finally caught up with him. In recent clips, it seems like clavicular has taken a massive health decline as he appears to be physically withering as a result of taking all of these different substances. Now, if you want to look into the different things that clav is on, I'm not going to say it here, I'm just going to say it's no surprise that he's withering from it, I think that anybody would.

• 46:36Kurt Metzger?

  Look at how shitty he looks now.

• 46:37Duncan Trussell?

  This is the worst video I've ever seen in my life.

• 46:39Kurt Metzger?

  Look at his nose, his nose, wow, he should, wow dude, and I, I don't say this lightly, but he looks like the most deformed, hideous, I mean, you should go live in the sewer now.

• 46:50Duncan Trussell?

  I don't think it's real, I think it's AI, I don't think that's really what it looks like now.

• 46:53Kurt Metzger?

  You don't think a human could even be that disfigured from surgery?

• 46:54Duncan Trussell?

  No, I don't think that, I think you would get struck down by God immediately.

• 46:57Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, look at that, I mean, guys, you, what do you think of this nose? Have you ever seen anything that, that looked this bad?

• 47:00Speaker 05

  It's very ghoulish. It's close to Michael Jackson, bud, yeah.

• 47:05Kurt Metzger?

  It's not even as good as Michael Jackson.

• 47:07Duncan Trussell?

  No, Michael Jackson did better.

• 47:08Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not trying to bully him, okay, because I, I don't want to be-

• 47:10Duncan Trussell?

  No, I feel your empathy, man.

• 47:12Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, mog aside is real?

• 47:13Duncan Trussell?

  Mog aside is real?

• 47:15Kurt Metzger?

  Not mag aside, that's what the, the slow pokes were planning at the UFC event, I'm talking about mog aside, M-O-G-G.

• 47:21Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, God, that's so sad.

• 47:24Kurt Metzger?

  No, not moccasins. Ooh, moggies, what are moggies? It's a name for a cat? See?

• 47:34Duncan Trussell?

  Moggy, moggy, in British English. There are now calls for owners to take greater care over their sun-loving moggies.

• 47:45Kurt Metzger?

  What, a cat is a moggy?

• 47:47Duncan Trussell?

  Alright, well.

• 47:53Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God, I'm still disturbed from seeing clavicular's nose now.

• 47:57Duncan Trussell?

  I'm s- I shouldn't have shown it to you, but it does, I think, I think it emphasizes that everything's impermanent.

• 48:02Kurt Metzger?

  That girl used to be beautiful, but now look at her. Who'd want her now?

• 48:06Duncan Trussell?

  She was so lovely.

• 48:08Kurt Metzger?

  Who would want the clavicular girl now?

• 48:11Duncan Trussell?

  He wa- she was a beautiful gal.

• 48:13Kurt Metzger?

  I don't even know, I don't even know, male, female. You know, once you're down in them tunnels getting your hair, nothing really means anything anymore.

• 48:20Duncan Trussell?

  It's either soft or it's not in the tunnels.

• 48:23Kurt Metzger?

  It's either soft and wet.

• 48:25Duncan Trussell?

  Or it's, or it's a wall.

• 48:27Kurt Metzger?

  Or your, or your mom get the hell out of your tunnel, you know, and that kid, wow, what a mistake.

• 48:32Duncan Trussell?

  Um, okay, this is something we started texting about and, you know, I know about continuity of government, but-

• 48:39Kurt Metzger?

  What do you know about it?

• 48:40Duncan Trussell?

  But not as much as you.

• 48:41Kurt Metzger?

  Well, what do you know about it?

• 48:42Duncan Trussell?

  So, I, okay, this is, okay, this is what I know. So, if some horrific thing happened, a nuclear war, plague, whatever, the president dies, the vice president dies, how do we keep the government going? Who's in charge? That's my basic bitch-

• 48:58Kurt Metzger?

  The guy from the Department of Energy, uh, divides the country into four zones or something? They almost called it during the pandemic or something. Recently, they were gonna do it, and I can't remember the guy's name, but he's from the Department of Energy and, uh, which is a very strange setup, isn't it? Uh, anyway.

• 49:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, why did they pick the Department-

• 49:16Kurt Metzger?

  The reason we have this, uh, put in Edward Teller, will you? That's good, nice look at Edward Teller, what a good guy. He's who Dr. Strangelove is based on. Ooh, now there's an old Hungarian pervert if I ever saw one. Look at that fella.

• 49:30Duncan Trussell?

  Edward Teller.

• 49:32Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and so he's a big part of this. He's the reason Bob Lazar, you know, people say Bob Lazar was debunked and didn't work at the thing and-

• 49:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 49:39Kurt Metzger?

  Why, we can't even find a record of him.

• 49:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 49:41Kurt Metzger?

  Well, the reason Bob Lazar worked there is because this fucking maniac is who picked him. He was a real fun guy, also, uh, like most of the people that work in government, probably a bit of a diddler. I know, you think that takes away, uh, but it didn't take away from Trump having a great presidency, his diddle habits, so I don't see why they should.

• 49:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. Look at those eyebrows, dude.

• 50:02Kurt Metzger?

  Yeshiva University arsonist.

• 50:05Duncan Trussell?

  Claims relation to H-bomb scientist Edward Teller.

• 50:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I, I don't remember any of this.

• 50:13Duncan Trussell?

  The accused Ashiva University firebug wrote online that he's the grandson of a famed scientist dubbed the father of the H-bomb, claims that are supported by public and online records. In a series of unhinged posts made on Thursday, just hours before he was busted for allegedly setting three fires in an all-women's dorm, Peter Whelan twice said he was related to Edward Teller, a Hungarian-born nuclear physicist who helped the US develop the atomic bomb during World War II. Teller, who reportedly inspired the title character of the classic movie Doctor Strangelove, and fellow physicist Stansula Ulam later designed the world's first thermonuclear device, which was successfully tested in 1952. So wait-

• 50:54Kurt Metzger?

  The following, read this set, this is the most important sentence.

• 50:56Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, in one of his posts, Wynard, 33, railed against a gene-editing technology known as CRISPR, calling it "super scary." Genetic engineering? Are you fucking kidding me? My grandfather was Edward Teller. You know how it makes me feel when I read that news?

• 51:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Now, why is he talking that way, do you think, about CRISPR? Well, I can't, I don't, I never heard of this story, but it's weird. At age 33, this guy goes into, by the way, the magic number of 33. If only, you know, and then, and then CRISPR, that's the gene-editing technology.

• 51:33Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 51:34Kurt Metzger?

  Now, if you will go to Ctrl+Alt, see, you know, Ctrl, like the button, C-N-T-R-L, Ctrl+Alt+History, Cambrian Genomics.

• 51:46Kurt Metzger?

  Genomics. Okay, hit that. Uh, YouTube, it's a YouTube video. Yeah, there you go.

• 51:54Kurt Metzger?

  So 2014, so that's five years later.

• 51:58Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, we need the Cambrian Genomics one. You'll see it.

• 52:02Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, you probably-

• 52:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, before you go on, can I get one more white cloth? I feel like I'm gonna need a white cloth for what I'm about to learn today.

• 52:07Kurt Metzger?

  You're gonna need a few for this, because it's gonna be fucking crazy.

• 52:09Duncan Trussell?

  Jesus Christ.

• 52:10Kurt Metzger?

  It's gonna be nuts. You're gonna need a few. Cambrian Genomics. Now, CRISPR, you've heard of. That's how the rich are gonna, are editing their children now. Here we go. Now, do you remember this? This was in the news.

• 52:23Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 52:23Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, now this guy tragically passed away from, um-

• 52:28Duncan Trussell?

  Dying.

• 52:30Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, hanging himself, which is unfortunate. Cambrian Genomics may be the most insane company to ever exist. It was a biotech-

• 52:38Speaker 05

  Technology startup that let you use simple drag and drop software to create and modify strands of DNA.

• 52:43Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 52:44Speaker 05

  Sort of like a fun little Lego biology project. But here's the crazy part. Cambrian Genomics could then take that strand of DNA you designed and create a living, breathing organism from it. As Cambrian Genomics founder Austin Hines put it, the company allowed anyone to design and create their very own creatures.

• 53:02Speaker 06

  But what if we could actually afford to make living creatures?

• 53:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 06

  By using a computer to design it, printing out the, the sequence that, that codes for the organism? And then test it to see what it does. That would be an interesting.

• 53:17Duncan Trussell?

  Does it cry?

• 53:18Speaker 06

  If everyone here today, uh, could, could write code.

• 53:20Kurt Metzger?

  It's really building on the Librevake, isn't it?

• 53:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's like a more advanced version of that.

• 53:25Kurt Metzger?

  Remember I asked on the last episode if there was a Hot Pocket microwave version?

• 53:29Duncan Trussell?

  Here you go.

• 53:30Speaker 05

  Print your DNA strand out on their DNA printer. And a printer that prints strands of DNA might sound super high-tech and futuristic, but DNA printers are a thing and they've been available for over a decade.

• 53:41Speaker 06

  Uh, here, we're laser printing, uh, jellyfish DNA, 100 base pair constructs.

• 53:46Speaker 05

  Cambrian Genomics could then implant your printed DNA strand into an embryo or seed to eventually bring it to life.

• 53:52Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, there's no sunstone needed.

• 53:54Speaker 05

  Bringing back extinct animals and letting people create their own dinosaurs.

• 53:58Speaker 06

  This technology is going to allow us to actually bring back dinosaurs, bring back extinct species. I'm talking about bringing back extinct animals from the dead. Uh, so woolly mammoths, things that you see in museums. But the question, why would you want to make a dinosaur?

• 54:12Duncan Trussell?

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:13Speaker 06

  Um, I think.

• 54:14Duncan Trussell?

  Cause they're fucking cool.

• 54:14Speaker 06

  Why not make a dinosaur?

• 54:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, why not? That's true. He sounds like one of my kids.

• 54:19Speaker 05

  And he even talked about allowing anyone to create hybrid creatures like a Chicosaurus.

• 54:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 54:24Speaker 06

  I'm sure anything that you could possibly imagine in your brain, you can make that real.

• 54:29Duncan Trussell?

  A living Vajankal.

• 54:31Speaker 06

  People were absolutely horrified at the implications of this technology. Marcy Downavsky from the Genetics Watchdog Group, the Center for Genetics and Society.

• 54:39Duncan Trussell?

  We shouldn't do this.

• 54:40Speaker 06

  I have significant concerns.

• 54:43Duncan Trussell?

  Maybe he shouldn't do this.

• 54:44Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, I just mog this Jake real bad, didn't I? Sorry to mog you.

• 54:52Kurt Metzger?

  Shut up, Doommer.

• 54:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, Doommer, shut the fuck up. Yeah, we want that. Yeah, we want, yeah, I want a Godzilla in my bathtub. Yeah, always somebody like that.

• 55:03Kurt Metzger?

  Try putting on makeup.

• 55:04Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking Doommer.

• 55:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 55:08Speaker 06

  But just wait until you hear what else the company.

• 55:11Kurt Metzger?

  Now, this is why I remember this story from back then. Ready?

• 55:15Duncan Trussell?

  Part two.

• 55:18Speaker 06

  Cambrian Genomics' most ambitious goal was replacing every living thing on Earth with a synthetic version.

• 55:24Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 55:24Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 55:25Speaker 06

  So to take a step back, I mean, what is our company want to do? What our company wants to do is very simple. We want to change everything that's natural.

• 55:33Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 55:33Speaker 06

  And make it synthetic.

• 55:34Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, great. Play that one more time.

• 55:37Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, play with my, because you know, it sounds conspiratorial, doesn't it?

• 55:41Duncan Trussell?

  That's fucking crazy.

• 55:43Speaker 06

  What our company wants to do is very simple. We want to change everything that's natural and make it synthetic.

• 55:50Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm.

• 55:50Duncan Trussell?

  Take my money.

• 55:53Speaker 06

  Everything.

• 55:54Kurt Metzger?

  Shut up and take my money.

• 55:55Speaker 06

  By writing the DNA, we can do much better than nature. We can make better humans.

• 55:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 55:59Speaker 06

  We can make better plants. We can make better animals. We can make better bacteria.

• 56:02Duncan Trussell?

  What a dummy.

• 56:03Speaker 06

  Heinz also envisioned the company editing DNA to eliminate disease entirely. We can genetically engineer the entire human population to not have disease. Heinz even famously predicted that everyone would one day design their babies before birth using Cambrian Genomics software.

• 56:18Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm.

• 56:19Speaker 06

  I can't imagine.

• 56:20Kurt Metzger?

  Instead of just my spirit board.

• 56:21Speaker 06

  After ten to twenty years that people would not. Their children digitally, it would be

• 56:27Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 56:27Speaker 06

  Thought of as insane or barbaric.

• 56:29Duncan Trussell?

  Barbaric.

• 56:30Speaker 06

  It's just too many mistakes.

• 56:31Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 56:32Speaker 05

  They also combined firefly DNA with plant DNA to create plants that glowed in the dark.

• 56:37Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool.

• 56:38Speaker 05

  Heins sold half a million dollars of glowing plants on Kickstarter and envisioned one day having forests full of glowing trees.

• 56:44Duncan Trussell?

  That's not gonna fuck up the ecosystem at all.

• 56:47Speaker 06

  Right, what if it was a massive redwood tree?

• 56:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 56:50Speaker 06

  If you had a redwood forest of trees, you know, hundreds and hundreds of feet high glowing.

• 56:56Kurt Metzger?

  Then we'd never have to get good sleep again.

• 56:58Duncan Trussell?

  Ever.

• 56:58Speaker 06

  You know.

• 56:59Duncan Trussell?

  So glowing trees.

• 57:01Kurt Metzger?

  Mugging the shit out of all those turned off North Korea trees.

• 57:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 57:05Speaker 05

  Program the receptors in female genitalia to make odors like peaches and roses.

• 57:11Kurt Metzger?

  Everybody call your mom.

• 57:12Speaker 06

  Use infections and change the smell of the vagina.

• 57:15Kurt Metzger?

  Ma, I know your Christmas present.

• 57:17Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, wait, can we pause for one second?

• 57:19Kurt Metzger?

  Ma, guess what your next birthday, brother?

• 57:21Duncan Trussell?

  But you know, it is cool with great minds like this. What inspired it? And like he went down on someone whose pussy smelled so bad.

• 57:29Kurt Metzger?

  I assumed that as well, but it's actually not the case.

• 57:31Duncan Trussell?

  What, how did he come up with it?

• 57:32Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so the, it's some female geneticist. I know, now, I know you guys are gonna laugh at me that there's some female scientist out there that works on things. But I swear, this is real, I vetted it. Okay?

• 57:43Duncan Trussell?

  Alright dude.

• 57:44Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 57:45Duncan Trussell?

  Alright, wait, okay.

• 57:46Kurt Metzger?

  She apparently made this.

• 57:47Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, wait, this is the first time you've said something that I really.

• 57:50Kurt Metzger?

  I know, and we're gonna get, look, we're gonna get letters and email, well, maybe not letters. Well, maybe letters, we have a, we're very popular with the Liberty and Levin.

• 57:58Duncan Trussell?

  Alright, go ahead, but this sounds, I'm so sorry.

• 58:01Kurt Metzger?

  So apparently this.

• 58:03Duncan Trussell?

  You said female scientist.

• 58:05Kurt Metzger?

  Look, I don't even know what a woman is, as you know, and nobody does, but this is her words.

• 58:09Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 58:10Kurt Metzger?

  The female, whatever the hell that means, and I don't know, and I don't claim no, I'm not a Cambrian genomics. She invented this technology. I don't think it was to make pussy smell better. But this guy, the visionary leader of the company, the Steve Jobs of pussy smell, if you will. He said, uh, I know exactly. She's like, hey, I think there could be some applications for this. He goes, I already know what the application. I'm way ahead of you, bitch. And uh, so the reason I heard of this back then was this was the heyday of the great feminism versus stand up debate of like

• 58:46Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 58:47Kurt Metzger?

  How much feminist oversight there should be

• 58:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 58:50Kurt Metzger?

  Before the blessed trans army wipe these dingbats off the face of the earth.

• 58:54Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 58:55Kurt Metzger?

  Before better women. See, the reason we don't need this technology is because now we have better women with dicks that can play sports and do so. Oh, she probably probably one of these new women two point O dick ladies. That's why she was able to invent this.

• 59:09Duncan Trussell?

  Now I'm starting to understand.

• 59:10Kurt Metzger?

  Cause if she had had a, a, you know, non artificial vagina, how would she even think, let alone the complex math involved? Do you know what I'm saying? Like it doesn't add up. So it's probably one of those sacred dick women that just came out that God bless them.

• 59:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Kurt Metzger?

  And all you fucking the moggs, face it, uh, uh, what do you call, what do you call, uh, women that still have that, uh, what do you call it? A front asshole? Uh, you just got mogged.

• 59:38Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah. You got mobbed.

• 59:39Kurt Metzger?

  Buy better, easier to clean.

• 59:41Duncan Trussell?

  You got mobbed.

• 59:41Kurt Metzger?

  Easier to clean women.

• 59:43Duncan Trussell?

  Doesn't feel good.

• 59:44Kurt Metzger?

  That don't ruin your couch.

• 59:45Duncan Trussell?

  So, so

• 59:46Kurt Metzger?

  Just by sitting on it.

• 59:47Duncan Trussell?

  So basically like based on this guy's utopia, you could, you could go in, do a lab and say, I want my baby's pussy to smell like lavender.

• 59:56Kurt Metzger?

  Well, not wait. Oh, you mean like a girlfriend, not a

• 59:59Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sitting, no, I'm saying, you know, he's saying you should go in and

• 1:00:02Kurt Metzger?

  Cause you would have designed the, okay.

• 1:00:03Duncan Trussell?

  You designed the child. They're gonna be like, what do you want your baby's pussy to smell like?

• 1:00:06Kurt Metzger?

  They're not, no, no, no. Okay. That's just a, a, an artificial child already. That's not an issue. This is for adults where it's too late to genetically design them before birth that did the hideous way. You know, that, uh, you know,

• 1:00:19Duncan Trussell?

  What do you?

• 1:00:20Kurt Metzger?

  You know how corporations a lot of times will take an original IP and make it so much better than it used to be?

• 1:00:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:00:24Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, just look at the callous examples of things.

• 1:00:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Kurt Metzger?

  That once the original creator is out of the way.

• 1:00:29Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:00:30Kurt Metzger?

  And of course I can play, hey, that's not what I intended.

• 1:00:33Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you want your kids to, you know, be better than you. I'm sure God wanted us to turn everything synthetic.

• 1:00:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. It's like how George Lucas just had a simple dream.

• 1:00:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. And now look how good Star Wars is.

• 1:00:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. He just wanted to help teach kids about Kabalah. And then, uh, what happens? A, a corporation comes along. They make it so much better than you ever could. So much more successful, closer to Harry Potter, more about like straight up witchcraft instead of original Kabalah. Uh, stuff he could have never thought of because he's the original creator. And if there's one thing that you should absolutely hate and try to defy at all costs.

• 1:01:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:09Kurt Metzger?

  It's, it's your creator. Okay. So, uh.

• 1:01:13Duncan Trussell?

  Couldn't have said it better myself, man.

• 1:01:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. I mean, I think it's a winning battle to be fought.

• 1:01:18Duncan Trussell?

  It's, we are winning.

• 1:01:19Kurt Metzger?

  How can you not win?

• 1:01:20Duncan Trussell?

  We are winning.

• 1:01:21Kurt Metzger?

  You know? All right, let's, let's press play.

• 1:01:24Speaker 05

  Vaginal microbes and the microbes that grow on your head and under your arms. But you can actually program them. You can write them. You can change them and you can make them personal to you.

• 1:01:33Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, wait a minute. Can I put?

• 1:01:37Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, women's private parts smell like ripe.

• 1:01:40Duncan Trussell?

  Ripe fruit.

• 1:01:40Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, instead of, uh, ripe pot roast.

• 1:01:46Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, honestly, it's not, it doesn't sound great.

• 1:01:49Kurt Metzger?

  Do you really need to say it like that?

• 1:01:51Duncan Trussell?

  Ripe fruit.

• 1:01:52Kurt Metzger?

  Now, could I, uh, make my pussy smellier if I wanted? That's my question. Now, could you add my armpit?

• 1:01:59Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, could you make my armpits too like pussy?

• 1:02:02Kurt Metzger?

  Pussy.

• 1:02:03Duncan Trussell?

  These guys are psych- this is the most psychotic shit I ever saw in my life. So.

• 1:02:07Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, Brett, go, go, keep going. I want to, I'll just show you something. Cause, uh, yeah, I want you to understand.

• 1:02:12Speaker 05

  Outcry about the company from certain journalists and feminists. He was ridiculed and bullied by these people and accused of being a startup bro who didn't respect women's bodies. The aim of Sweet Peach was actually to use different sets to help detect and diagnose infections and UTIs. But Heinz was still viciously attacked for his supposed insensitivity.

• 1:02:33Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait. So originally this woman who was not a visionary thought it could help fight UTIs. But he goes, that's not enough to sell a product. Uh, tell them they'll make their pussy stop stinking. That's how you sell a product.

• 1:02:45Duncan Trussell?

  It's so fucked up.

• 1:02:46Kurt Metzger?

  That's cause it's called marketing genius. You can't just sell a product that's useful. You need to, if you don't feel like the shame that you need to feel in life, just going through your life, how am I supposed to sell?

• 1:02:56Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wait, wait. You missed this. Sweet Peach wanted to make vaginas taste like Diet Coke.

• 1:03:02Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, that's really encouraging a lot of lesbianism right there.

• 1:03:05Duncan Trussell?

  That is wild, but it's probiotics. I don't think this is genetic engineering. It's probiotics.

• 1:03:10Kurt Metzger?

  People with a, people with a vagina have needs. Oh, good work, Lindy, not saying women. I'm, uh, points to Lindy.

• 1:03:17Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, good for her. Good job, Lindy West.

• 1:03:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I'm glad the great Lindy West.

• 1:03:21Duncan Trussell?

  People with a vagina!

• 1:03:22Kurt Metzger?

  Who is outraged at the disrespect of this very idea.

• 1:03:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:26Kurt Metzger?

  But says, "People with a vagina."

• 1:03:28Duncan Trussell?

  Well, sometimes you have a vagina not attached to your body. It's like in your pocket.

• 1:03:33Duncan Trussell?

  You know, you have a backpack full of vaginas.

• 1:03:34Kurt Metzger?

  Sometimes it's in an egg. And, okay, what if I have a Tenga egg that I never wash and I want it to stop stinking?

• 1:03:40Duncan Trussell?

  How often have you been like wa- been walking through the woods, you find a vagina?

• 1:03:43Kurt Metzger?

  Can I make a living?

• 1:03:45Duncan Trussell?

  You have needs.

• 1:03:46Kurt Metzger?

  Can I make a living Tenga egg?

• 1:03:47Duncan Trussell?

  And you usually have to like, if you find a vagina, you have to dip it in like fruit to make it smell better.

• 1:03:52Kurt Metzger?

  Ladies.

• 1:03:53Duncan Trussell?

  Discarded vaginas stink.

• 1:03:55Kurt Metzger?

  You know, you end up looking like one of them black people stuffing Kool-Aid into a pineapple.

• 1:03:59Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever slipped on a vagina? When you're jogging?

• 1:04:03Kurt Metzger?

  Um, well, uh.

• 1:04:06Duncan Trussell?

  It's the original banana peel.

• 1:04:07Kurt Metzger?

  My, my bussy water broke once. Anyway.

• 1:04:11Duncan Trussell?

  What? Can you say that again? What? What, what broke?

• 1:04:20Duncan Trussell?

  Your bussy water broke?

• 1:04:25Duncan Trussell?

  You can't skip over that.

• 1:04:28Kurt Metzger?

  I had to run to the nearest sewer, pop the lid, get down there, just wait till things blew over.

• 1:04:38Kurt Metzger?

  Did you see Lindy West said, "People with vaginas," and then said, "Their baby cannon"? Well, you see, she's outraged by the disrespect to women, I guess, but doesn't say the word "women" or vagina.

• 1:04:48Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, where, where is baby cannon? I didn't, I mean.

• 1:04:52Kurt Metzger?

  But making their baby cannon smell of fruit is not.

• 1:04:55Duncan Trussell?

  Baby cannon?

• 1:04:59Kurt Metzger?

  Well, okay, in fairness, I'm getting out, I'm gonna just give

• 1:05:04Kurt Metzger?

  give this brilliant thinker some credit. A lot of times with these articles, uh, the person that wrote the article did not write the headline. Usually the editor reads your article and then writes a headline.

• 1:05:14Duncan Trussell?

  So.

• 1:05:15Kurt Metzger?

  So, I don't, I mean, the, the way that's written, that could easily be a, a Lindy West.

• 1:05:21Duncan Trussell?

  Can we Google baby cannon?

• 1:05:24Duncan Trussell?

  Is that, is, is, is that actually a, a new phrase?

• 1:05:28Kurt Metzger?

  Baby cannon? I mean, I've heard it used to, to denigrate Hispanics.

• 1:05:34Duncan Trussell?

  Baby cannon.

• 1:05:36Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look at that. Well, look at the baby in the, look at that one. No, no, up there. Look at, there's an actual.

• 1:05:41Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, that's a baby cannon.

• 1:05:43Kurt Metzger?

  I wonder if it smells of fruit.

• 1:05:46Duncan Trussell?

  What game is this?

• 1:05:49Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking game is this? This is great.

• 1:05:53Kurt Metzger?

  Stop the baby.

• 1:05:56Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 1:05:57Kurt Metzger?

  What is happening?

• 1:05:58Duncan Trussell?

  What game are we, what is this?

• 1:06:02Duncan Trussell?

  The baby in yellow. What the fuck? Play that again.

• 1:06:07Kurt Metzger?

  One hour, uh, wait, wait, wait.

• 1:06:09Duncan Trussell?

  It says explore the, stop the baby.

• 1:06:13Duncan Trussell?

  Explore the garden stuff.

• 1:06:15Kurt Metzger?

  This is spoilers from, uh, disclosure. Don't come on.

• 1:06:20Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 1:06:22Kurt Metzger?

  Steven Spielberg didn't want, is he, come on.

• 1:06:32Duncan Trussell?

  That's a good place to, I had to pee. That's.

• 1:06:34Kurt Metzger?

  I had you too.

• 1:06:35Duncan Trussell?

  What the?

• 1:06:42Speaker 05

  Alone attacked him in four separate articles in the later half of 2014. And less than six months after this, Cambridge Genomics came to a tragic end.

• 1:06:55Duncan Trussell?

  Oh no.

• 1:06:57Speaker 05

  On May 25th, 2015, Austin Heinz died by suicide at 31 years old.

• 1:07:02Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  The official story was that his mental health was fragile due to stress.

• 1:07:07Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, he seemed totally sane.

• 1:07:09Speaker 05

  Critical of Sweet Peach affected him and he hung himself.

• 1:07:12Kurt Metzger?

  So, so the official story is, okay, what's the official story is?

• 1:07:19Kurt Metzger?

  He took so much blowback from trying to help your pussy stop stinking.

• 1:07:22Duncan Trussell?

  He killed himself.

• 1:07:23Kurt Metzger?

  Girls, that, uh, he could, I hope you're happy that you, you, you baby can and this young man to death.

• 1:07:30Duncan Trussell?

  All I wanted was to change the smell.

• 1:07:32Kurt Metzger?

  We wanted to help you.

• 1:07:34Duncan Trussell?

  I just was trying to help the world. I don't belong here.

• 1:07:39Kurt Metzger?

  Typical, oh, let me help you, ma'am. Oh, I'm insulted. Oh, you're giving unwanted advice.

• 1:07:44Duncan Trussell?

  Man, it's terrible what the world does to these geniuses.

• 1:07:47Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, anyway. Yeah, he.

• 1:07:49Duncan Trussell?

  We could have glowing trees.

• 1:07:51Kurt Metzger?

  He Chris Cornell's door scarf himself. Isn't that tragic? Isn't tragic when these people all die the exact same way and, uh, they?

• 1:07:59Duncan Trussell?

  It's crazy.

• 1:08:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, and whatever happened to this, uh, technology? It was never heard from again.

• 1:08:04Duncan Trussell?

  Gone.

• 1:08:04Kurt Metzger?

  Although, Dogman sightings are way up.

• 1:08:11Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's right. I never heard about Dogman right around, until around the time.

• 1:08:14Duncan Trussell?

  You know what? I have noticed that.

• 1:08:16Kurt Metzger?

  Technology disappeared deep underground.

• 1:08:19Duncan Trussell?

  You know, the smell of a Dogman's pussy is much better these days.

• 1:08:22Kurt Metzger?

  If you smell, if you see a Dogman and their pussy smells of fruit, you'll know.

• 1:08:28Duncan Trussell?

  That Dogman's pussy smell good.

• 1:08:30Kurt Metzger?

  Smells like my pussy with it.

• 1:08:35Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, God. That new pussy smell.

• 1:08:40Kurt Metzger?

  And that's still Gwyneth selling it. That's the worst part.

• 1:08:42Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 1:08:45Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God. When God shuts a door, he opens a window. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:08:49Duncan Trussell?

  That new pussy smell.

• 1:08:51Kurt Metzger?

  Unlike your asshole. Oh, that's a soap that smells like not like your asshole.

• 1:08:56Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:08:56Kurt Metzger?

  This is good with the, you pair this up with the Postmates bottom friendly menu, you're gonna be mogging everybody.

• 1:09:01Duncan Trussell?

  Is there, can we find a review of that new pussy smell?

• 1:09:05Kurt Metzger?

  Anyway.

• 1:09:05Duncan Trussell?

  Is there a review on YouTube? Let's just look, just in case. It'll be great if someone reviewed it.

• 1:09:09Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I'm just gonna order it. You can spoil it, but I'm just gonna order it. I want to just smell it. I want to go in blind to the smell.

• 1:09:16Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, I love this candle.

• 1:09:18Kurt Metzger?

  Thank you all so much. Oh, people of color like it.

• 1:09:21Duncan Trussell?

  My friend loved this gift.

• 1:09:23Kurt Metzger?

  My friend of color loved this gift.

• 1:09:25Duncan Trussell?

  Fantastic customer service.

• 1:09:28Kurt Metzger?

  I'll be ordering all of my candles here. All of your bussy candles or just regular candles as well? Or is there any other kind?

• 1:09:35Duncan Trussell?

  All of them. What else do you need?

• 1:09:37Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, are they, uh, hand dipped?

• 1:09:41Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Uh, anyway, long story short, underground bases Duncan. Uh, COG, continuity government. You know the Denver Airport?

• 1:09:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 1:09:50Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, that's the capital of America in case of a nuclear war.

• 1:09:52Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:09:53Kurt Metzger?

  What's under, what's underneath the airport? I'll, I'll tell you right now. COG.

• 1:09:56Duncan Trussell?

  Can we look at the Denver Airport mural real quick? Will you guys Google that? Just so people see this. If you have, I've seen this in person, not to brag, I've been to the Denver Airport.

• 1:10:04Kurt Metzger?

  Me too, several times.

• 1:10:05Duncan Trussell?

  And you know, this is just interesting art for an airport.

• 1:10:08Kurt Metzger?

  Been there. Did you get to see the glowing trees and the, and the pussy that smells like fruit?

• 1:10:13Duncan Trussell?

  I did go to the bussy room.

• 1:10:16Duncan Trussell?

  Can we zoom in on that a little bit? Cause this is like airport art.

• 1:10:19Kurt Metzger?

  Let's see, what does it say?

• 1:10:21Duncan Trussell?

  There's no, that, that's one of them. I mean, it's just weird, but look at the one with the gas.

• 1:10:26Kurt Metzger?

  It looks great.

• 1:10:27Duncan Trussell?

  Denver Airport gas mask. I like the, the mural. It shows people in like stormtrooper masks and stuff. Uh, that one.

• 1:10:36Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, wait, do you see how the DIA's murals feed conspiracy? Go back, go back, go back, go, go, go, go, go, go, go back. How DIA murals? Okay.

• 1:10:46Kurt Metzger?

  The, the Defense Intelligence Agency? Made those murals? Well, yeah, that would probably feed some conspiracies, wouldn't it? Why would the DIA?

• 1:10:54Duncan Trussell?

  The two murals were in the east and west baggage claim outside of the great hall. However, they put in, they put in storage during the construction of that hall. Each mural is put into two pieces separated by doorways. Look, and I, and honestly, what's wrong with these murals? And pull up the Denver Airport horse. Like, none of this seems weird to me. I do feel like this is the kind of thing.

• 1:11:17Kurt Metzger?

  What, the devil horse?

• 1:11:18Duncan Trussell?

  Like touch grass, guys. Does this seem weird to you at all? What's wrong with that? It's a beautiful, normal horse that happened to kill.

• 1:11:24Kurt Metzger?

  Great angle.

• 1:11:26Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that bussy.

• 1:11:28Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god.

• 1:11:29Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that pussy.

• 1:11:30Kurt Metzger?

  So the best part of this.

• 1:11:32Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:11:33Kurt Metzger?

  The best part of this is that um is blue and I'll tell you what, you want to talk about a pussy, it probably smells like ripe fruit.

• 1:11:40Duncan Trussell?

  There's nothing bad about this.

• 1:11:42Kurt Metzger?

  And I think you can go up and scratch and sniff the uh.

• 1:11:45Duncan Trussell?

  You can. It's the little details that count. Can.

• 1:11:48Kurt Metzger?

  In fact, if you stick your finger right into that uh pussy hole, that's what opens the underground doorway.

• 1:11:53Duncan Trussell?

  It's true. Um, do you, well, that.

• 1:11:57Kurt Metzger?

  Um, what is happening?

• 1:11:59Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull it side by side?

• 1:12:01Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, can we not?

• 1:12:02Duncan Trussell?

  What, what?

• 1:12:04Kurt Metzger?

  Can we not?

• 1:12:04Duncan Trussell?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:12:06Kurt Metzger?

  Horse. It says.

• 1:12:09Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my god, man. You get so puritanical some, what, realistic horse pussy? That, I guess that bothers you.

• 1:12:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god. What if you like, okay.

• 1:12:21Duncan Trussell?

  We're, dude.

• 1:12:22Kurt Metzger?

  I want you to imagine.

• 1:12:23Duncan Trussell?

  It's 2026, baby.

• 1:12:25Kurt Metzger?

  Can I tell you a Steven Spielberg pitch I have?

• 1:12:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:27Kurt Metzger?

  A young boy loses his parents alone in the world. There's a mysterious trunk in the attic of gifts from his grandpa. He opens it up. Inside, two or three vajankles and uh, what is this thing called?

• 1:12:41Duncan Trussell?

  It's a horse pussy. What do you mean?

• 1:12:43Kurt Metzger?

  I know, fuckable horse pussy.

• 1:12:44Duncan Trussell?

  Realistic horse pussy. It's 5451.

• 1:12:46Kurt Metzger?

  Goonies mystery music behind it when he, when he pulls it out, you know, like that doo doo doo doo, that little twinkly noise when they found a clue? Like a one eyed Willie Clue noise plays when you pull this beautiful.

• 1:12:59Duncan Trussell?

  Hey.

• 1:12:59Kurt Metzger?

  Realistic horse, oh, it's an intimate horse toy for men.

• 1:13:02Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, reviews. This is the best toy I've ever bought.

• 1:13:07Kurt Metzger?

  What other, what else did you buy?

• 1:13:08Duncan Trussell?

  I have to say, the user experience has exceeded my expectations so much that I ended up throwing away the two others I previously purchased.

• 1:13:18Kurt Metzger?

  That's, that's great news.

• 1:13:21Duncan Trussell?

  The tactile sensation is fantastic and the build quality is absolutely top notch. It's also much easier to clean. That's great. Great quality. This is great. Very realistic.

• 1:13:33Kurt Metzger?

  Go ahead and put a like because I think that's a very helpful review. Go ahead and get that on the

• 1:13:39Kurt Metzger?

  make sure that's on the record here at your mom's horse studios.

• 1:13:43Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, let's, let's go down to very beautiful pussy.

• 1:13:46Kurt Metzger?

  Very realistic. Now, wait, wait, very realistic. This story, somebody already liked that, that one. I love how realistic it feels. Were they really stressing the realism of it?

• 1:13:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's real. Well, it's the real deal.

• 1:13:59Kurt Metzger?

  Ever since I, 2014, I was gonna try to make my own horse pussy on CRISPR and send it in.

• 1:14:05Duncan Trussell?

  Now I can just go here.

• 1:14:06Kurt Metzger?

  I guess this guy saw what I was asking for and hung himself and uh, best stroker for men.

• 1:14:11Duncan Trussell?

  Highly recommended. Amazing. Unmatched quality.

• 1:14:16Kurt Metzger?

  Realistic design, fast shipping. I love it.

• 1:14:19Duncan Trussell?

  Why is Deborah Windsor from David Chu? Why, wait, why is that? Why is a lady using it?

• 1:14:27Kurt Metzger?

  Well, uh, uh, probably because her, uh,

• 1:14:30Duncan Trussell?

  You're, you know what? I'm sorry.

• 1:14:31Kurt Metzger?

  Which is your dick pussy.

• 1:14:33Duncan Trussell?

  Could be, it might not be a lady.

• 1:14:34Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I mean,

• 1:14:35Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, it is a lady. You know what I mean?

• 1:14:37Kurt Metzger?

  I cumed.

• 1:14:38Duncan Trussell?

  I cumed with it.

• 1:14:39Kurt Metzger?

  I cumed.

• 1:14:40Duncan Trussell?

  God, it's really very, very realistic. Please note that this is made of silicon and has no unusual taste. Drop a few drops of lubricant into the channel and you will immediately experience this magic.

• 1:14:57Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:14:57Duncan Trussell?

  It is amazing. Thank God.

• 1:15:00Kurt Metzger?

  I don't think you want to do that.

• 1:15:03Kurt Metzger?

  Well, thank God for sparing you another day.

• 1:15:05Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, Lord.

• 1:15:06Kurt Metzger?

  Better judgment.

• 1:15:08Kurt Metzger?

  Thank God for not immediately causing the earth to swallow me alive right now.

• 1:15:12Duncan Trussell?

  We're getting our, wow, it's great.

• 1:15:15Kurt Metzger?

  You're gonna toss a thank God on the end of that. That's how you know it's not a robot.

• 1:15:20Duncan Trussell?

  Let's, um, we're going, we're getting off track here. So Denver Airport, fuck, fuck the murals. It's got a weird horse with a very realistic horse.

• 1:15:30Kurt Metzger?

  But people watch this at home. You get, you kind of understand deep underground bases now, I think.

• 1:15:36Duncan Trussell?

  Honestly, we, that's all you need to know.

• 1:15:38Kurt Metzger?

  It's like, hey, explain this dumb's base thing to me. Well, take a look right here.

• 1:15:43Duncan Trussell?

  I'm pretty sure, didn't the horse fall on its creator? Can you look that up? Or is that a rumor that the Denver Airport horse killed its creator by falling on it?

• 1:15:50Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean? He fell?

• 1:15:51Duncan Trussell?

  I think the horse toppled on him.

• 1:15:53Kurt Metzger?

  I think he tripped and fell into his bussy.

• 1:15:58Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God, look at.

• 1:15:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, which section?

• 1:16:02Duncan Trussell?

  It's colloquially known as Blue Sifer. Its creator, Luis Jimenez, was tragically killed when a heavy 9,000 pound section of the fiberglass sculpture broke loose, pinning him and severing an artery in his leg.

• 1:16:15Kurt Metzger?

  What section? It's 9,000 pounds? How many pounds is this?

• 1:16:19Duncan Trussell?

  It's a very big horse. But yeah, that thing killed somebody. That, that, the blue horse killed its creator.

• 1:16:25Kurt Metzger?

  That's good. Why did they make this horse? Is there like an official reason?

• 1:16:29Duncan Trussell?

  Cause it reminds you of flying, doesn't it? Perfect for an airport.

• 1:16:33Kurt Metzger?

  There's something on the wing.

• 1:16:38Duncan Trussell?

  That doesn't make you think of like flying with its glowing red eyes?

• 1:16:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. No, you don't have to explain his bussy. I think we were able.

• 1:16:46Duncan Trussell?

  Happy 13th birthday, Blue Sifer.

• 1:16:51Duncan Trussell?

  Nothing weird at all about this.

• 1:16:56Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God.

• 1:16:56Duncan Trussell?

  It literally, literally killed the thing that created it.

• 1:16:59Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, you know, uh, uh, I'll just come out with this. You know that I named my dick Blue Sifer, right? Because it's blue and has a glowing red eye. Okay, let's.

• 1:17:14Kurt Metzger?

  When that nine thousand pounds falls on you, you better ready for an artery to sever, motherfucker.

• 1:17:19Duncan Trussell?

  That was bloody. That was a bloody death, too.

• 1:17:22Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm. He's represented everywhere. Well, um, wait, but what?

• 1:17:29Duncan Trussell?

  It doesn't mention that it killed him.

• 1:17:31Kurt Metzger?

  Well, okay, I just want to know what the story of like-

• 1:17:33Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, there it is.

• 1:17:34Kurt Metzger?

  Why did he make it?

• 1:17:35Duncan Trussell?

  It was the head that killed him.

• 1:17:37Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, well, she just asked me, like, why did, what, what's the...

• 1:17:41Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what was the point of that? I assume the aides would have got him if the horse hadn't fell on him, right? That's a fair, fair... You want to guys name the names?

• 1:17:48Duncan Trussell?

  He had a son. He had a son. You homophobic beast.

• 1:17:52Kurt Metzger?

  So what? A lot of guys have butt babies.

• 1:17:54Duncan Trussell?

  No, if you have kids, you can't be gay.

• 1:17:56Kurt Metzger?

  No, that's ignorant, dude. They can have babies out of the butt now and you know.

• 1:17:58Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, I have, let me tell you, I have-

• 1:17:59Kurt Metzger?

  It's called the Chris.

• 1:18:00Duncan Trussell?

  I have four kids, and I frequent glory holes, and so I am not gay.

• 1:18:05Kurt Metzger?

  Right. Oh, oh, okay. I understand what you're saying. Uh, Chatham House rules, so to speak.

• 1:18:12Duncan Trussell?

  Just natural law.

• 1:18:15Kurt Metzger?

  Origins, can I see the fascinating details? The origins? Wait, wait, wait, look, look, it says it right there. The origins and history. Sculpture includes, just scroll up so I can see the details. Okay, his vision. It was to celebrate the power and freedom of the West. Uh, the, the striking blue color and piercing glowing red eyes were inspired by flo- folklore.

• 1:18:38Duncan Trussell?

  Folklore by California San Luis Valley, and a desire to make the piece pop against the sky. The puffed asshole of the horse represents-

• 1:18:46Kurt Metzger?

  He made it blue so it would pop against the sky.

• 1:18:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but it looks good against the sky.

• 1:18:50Kurt Metzger?

  A hundred percent sense, and, uh-

• 1:18:51Duncan Trussell?

  Doesn't look like a drowned corpse.

• 1:18:55Kurt Metzger?

  It was funded by a city requirement that, uh... Today, the sculpture is a polarizing but beloved Denver landmark.

• 1:19:03Duncan Trussell?

  Lucifer.

• 1:19:04Kurt Metzger?

  Well, why is it even polarizing?

• 1:19:06Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know. People are so sensitive right now.

• 1:19:08Kurt Metzger?

  Can you see Emane's other notable pieces, and how, um, uh, how gay they are? You know, you guys think this is some Satan thing, but it might just be super gay. Did you think of that?

• 1:19:21Duncan Trussell?

  Let's see what he did. Let's look at his other stuff. Ah, yeah.

• 1:19:25Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:19:25Duncan Trussell?

  Hugging gators.

• 1:19:27Kurt Metzger?

  Legartos. And what's that one? The master of Borderland? Wait, wait, what? Look at that. What the fuck is that?

• 1:19:38Kurt Metzger?

  What am I looking at?

• 1:19:41Duncan Trussell?

  Southwest Pieta. What the fuck? Look at that weird arm.

• 1:19:48Kurt Metzger?

  So I see titties?

• 1:19:50Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that weird foot.

• 1:19:51Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, there's a snake. That's good.

• 1:19:53Duncan Trussell?

  Southwest Pieta.

• 1:19:56Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:19:57Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:19:58Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, what is it supposed to be?

• 1:20:04Duncan Trussell?

  Let's look at some of his other pieces.

• 1:20:06Kurt Metzger?

  I don't really understand it.

• 1:20:11Duncan Trussell?

  What's that one with the cockroaches humping?

• 1:20:15Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, this is a warning against open borders, I believe.

• 1:20:20Kurt Metzger?

  Which, uh...

• 1:20:20Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck is that? Look, look!

• 1:20:23Kurt Metzger?

  Can you make that really big so we can really, uh, make out the bussy on it?

• 1:20:28Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 1:20:31Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so this is called... Oh, look, so we have a native.

• 1:20:35Duncan Trussell?

  He like that glowing red eye.

• 1:20:36Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, he's on top of Blucifer. See that Blucifer? And Blue... Oh, it's like a turducken or something.

• 1:20:42Duncan Trussell?

  Blucifer's riding a dragon.

• 1:20:44Kurt Metzger?

  And Blucifer is, uh, giving what for to this buffalo, also with glowing red eyes. And let's see the native on top. And then, this is cheeky.

• 1:20:54Duncan Trussell?

  Literally, look at that. Zoom in on that ass!

• 1:20:57Kurt Metzger?

  My ass cloth. And look at his absolute ecstasy.

• 1:21:00Duncan Trussell?

  There's any way you could have done that. You didn't have to flap, put the back flap up.

• 1:21:04Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god, what a tragedy we lost this artist.

• 1:21:06Duncan Trussell?

  He was really into sculpting butts, is what we've learned so far.

• 1:21:09Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, uh, that male horse vagina thing.

• 1:21:12Duncan Trussell?

  Why? Why are you gonna put the flap down?

• 1:21:16Kurt Metzger?

  No, it flaps up. It's saying, you know what I like about it? It's like, hey, room for one more. Hey!

• 1:21:23Kurt Metzger?

  Are we... And what's that on the bottom there?

• 1:21:26Kurt Metzger?

  What is that?

• 1:21:27Speaker 05

  Seems to be a snake right here.

• 1:21:28Kurt Metzger?

  No, the hole. Go down, go down. What is that? What is that weird?

• 1:21:32Speaker 05

  The bussy.

• 1:21:33Kurt Metzger?

  Is that one of those, uh, male intimate, uh, massage?

• 1:21:36Duncan Trussell?

  It just looks like some kind of like, I don't know, howling jellyfish or something.

• 1:21:41Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, boy, I, you know, it's very mysterious, but I, I just, I know I wanna stick my dick in it.

• 1:21:48Duncan Trussell?

  It's erotic.

• 1:21:48Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on! Hold...

• 1:21:52Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, oh, hey, I'm sending you a number. We're gonna call, we're gonna wrap, we're gonna wrap this thing up.

• 1:21:57Duncan Trussell?

  Wrap what up?

• 1:21:58Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, with underground bases, because guess who just hit me up? Guess?

• 1:22:03Duncan Trussell?

  Who?

• 1:22:04Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, Daryl James.

• 1:22:05Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, cool.

• 1:22:07Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner, I'm giving you his number. Yo, I cannot wait.

• 1:22:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I better go pee again, too.

• 1:22:15Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you're back with the mystery boys after we got done peeing. Uh, I'm here on the line with my boy, Daryl James from the Secret Space Program, uh, to explain, uh, underground bases to Duncan, who doesn't know anything about underground bases. In fact, most of the show, we, we really didn't, if I'm being honest, we're, learned too much about it, but I had put in a text to Daryl because, uh, he has intimate knowledge of it. First of all, thank you for your service, Daryl.

• 1:22:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, thank you, Daryl.

• 1:22:43Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, actually, I don't know, they, it sounds like they use you as a breeding stud or something?

• 1:22:47Speaker 06

  Well, yeah, I mean, that became later on in the program. That didn't really pertain to the underground bases too much, but that was just something I kind of fell into, yeah.

• 1:22:54Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so explain to Duncan, you were a CB or something, you were stationed in UK, uh, how you got into it?

• 1:23:01Speaker 06

  Well, uh, it was 2004. I was stationed in St. Magen, Cornwall, UK, and, um, I just, first time it was, uh, I, I had to go to, uh,

• 1:23:15Speaker 06

  my apologies, I had to, um, escort two Seamen, uh, three Seamen's workers into the underground base. Um, the one guy said, "I'm not walking through that bloody thing." When you first came to the underground base, they had something called a scanner, I found out later on. And, uh, they walked around it. I tried to walk through.

• 1:23:31Kurt Metzger?

  What did it look like? Like a metal detector or something different?

• 1:23:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, it looked like a metal detector. You would see it like a courthouse. Like it had like rectangular sides, rectangular top. It had a little ramp you had to step over with like the black and yellow caution tape. And they walked around it and I tried to walk around and the guard said, "No, you walk through." So I walked through. From picks up pump and I came back and then that was the end of that.

• 1:23:53Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:23:53Speaker 06

  And then, um, I had a balls before watch like midnight to four AM on a Friday.

• 1:23:58Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, was this the first time, was this the first time you'd been in one of these bases? Like, how was it introduced?

• 1:24:04Kurt Metzger?

  You were just doing a repair as a CB, right?

• 1:24:05Duncan Trussell?

  You were just stationed at this base?

• 1:24:07Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, it was the first time in underground base and I was just watching these guys repair a pump with like an air pump in an underground base.

• 1:24:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:14Speaker 06

  That's all it was. It seemed like the only reason they wanted me in is to walk through this, you know, scanner.

• 1:24:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, and what does the scanner do?

• 1:24:22Speaker 06

  Oh, it, it picks up any, like, I, I, I, I had another Friday night watch and the petty officer of the watch, he said, Well, do you want to smoke? But you don't have any cloths. That's because you drink, because I drank it at the time.

• 1:24:35Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm. I'm smoking Delta nine, legal Delta nine.

• 1:24:38Duncan Trussell?

  Legal Delta nine.

• 1:24:41Speaker 06

  But, but, um,

• 1:24:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, and, and then he said, you're smart. And I said, really? How smart? And, and he was really smart. And I thought like one forty, one fifty IQ. And he said, more like one ninety, one ninety-five. And he pointed at the monitor and he showed me like these color coded lines. And there were, he said, see, you're the second smartest person on base. And then, you know, there was a gap below. And then there were the rest of the guys. There were like a bunch of guys scattered around. And yeah, I mean, that's what it did. It picked up all your vitals, it picked up your IQ. And all these guys that worked in the underground base, I was camp maintenance, you know, I, I had like a marijuana paraphernalia charge when I was like nineteen. So I can only do construction or be a cook. And these guys that work in underground bases, they had to pass through this thing all the time.

• 1:25:23Speaker 06

  And they all knew about it, but, yeah, I mean, and then, uh, my executive officer, I, I met Michael Aquino. I guess that's a vital part.

• 1:25:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and put, put his picture up so we can get a good look at old Aquino.

• 1:25:37Duncan Trussell?

  When was the first time you met him? How did that happen?

• 1:25:40Speaker 06

  It was, I, I had like another balls before watch on a Friday night, which usually doesn't happen. And then I saw him just standing at the quarter deck, which is kind of like the lobby of the base and just the entrance to the underground base. And he was just standing there like looking at papers. And I think it was whatever they scanned on me or whatever. He had like a file and he was just looking at on the quarter deck desk. And I, I just talked to him a little bit. How you doing, sir? Things like that. And then I, you know, he gave me the creeps and I just walked back out. But I recognized him right away. He had the eyebrows, he had his uniform on, but, and he was very much older compared to what I saw.

• 1:26:12Duncan Trussell?

  Were people aware of his, him like being an avowed Satanist at the base?

• 1:26:17Speaker 06

  Oh, of course. There was a guy that told me on the base named Orlando. We called him Lando because he liked Star Wars. He told me that he should have been retired last year. And he was put, you know, into the reservists like in shame after the Presudio case.

• 1:26:35Kurt Metzger?

  That's right. He barely escaped from that case. And the way he was able to was he was thousands of miles away when everything happened. And the thing is, that underground train, you could be thousands of miles away in a day with that, right?

• 1:26:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. And they had a mag lift there, but I was also told by my executive officer later that it was because the judge was a Satanist, the prosecutor and the defense lawyers were Satanists. The staff that worked at the daycare center where this happened to these kids on base, they were all Satanists. So they're all in on it.

• 1:27:07Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you know, it's the US military. You're gonna have some Satanists in there.

• 1:27:10Duncan Trussell?

  Freedom of religion.

• 1:27:12Kurt Metzger?

  This is back when we were still the great Satan and not the fat out of shape Sam Smith at the Grammy Satan. Okay. So, okay, uh, yeah. So, so you know, all the serial killings we had when the heyday of serial killers?

• 1:27:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:26Kurt Metzger?

  That's right after Operation Phoenix in Vietnam, which, uh, this Michael Aquino, this American hero spearheaded, and that's where they terrorized civilians with serial killing.

• 1:27:34Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:27:34Kurt Metzger?

  And that we get all these serial killers back after Vietnam roaming around America doing it. Um, you know, you never heard of MK Monarch when you were in the base though, did you? Like, nobody was saying Monarch to you, were they?

• 1:27:47Speaker 06

  No, nothing like Monarch. But I remember they said that you couldn't say Jesus Christ in the underground base, even in anger.

• 1:27:54Duncan Trussell?

  Because what would it happen?

• 1:27:55Kurt Metzger?

  Because he's a hardcore Christian?

• 1:27:57Speaker 06

  No, it controls, it controls like the things that live in the underground caverns. The reason why they put these bases where they put them is because the earth is honeycomb with caverns. It's like the whole mantle, inner core, outer core is nonsense. There's like an inner sun and it's honeycomb and these bases are put right where the honeycomb becomes closer to the surface of the earth. And it's, we got into a war a long time ago. War became a stalemate. The agreement to the stalemate is we get topside and they get the underground. So they've been like infiltrating us through education and religion and they have these underground bases in these specific parts.

• 1:28:37Kurt Metzger?

  This is a new one to me. What do you mean? We had a war. When was this war? And I, I didn't know this part of the story. Tell me this is very interesting.

• 1:28:45Speaker 06

  I mean, I, I guess it's around thirty one hundred B.C. like around whenever ancient Egypt supposedly started. But it's like actually ten thousand B.C. and it wasn't until like the reptiles took over, which are lower fourth density, we're third density. Uh, they're kind of like astral plane spirit world. You can conjure them if you think about them too much, things like that. And you can't see them unless they show themselves to you. But yeah, it, it's just that. Um, the war started probably around there and I, I. That's all I really got out of it from my executive officer was we got into a war. We, we got outside help, but we participated. And the agreement of the stalemate was, yeah, they got the underground and we got topside.

• 1:29:27Duncan Trussell?

  How are you reacting to getting this information for the first time? Cause you're being given the, like, this is the most, like, most insane thing to hear, to see that this is real. What were you thinking?

• 1:29:40Kurt Metzger?

  You didn't get that right away, right?

• 1:29:42Speaker 06

  I'm sorry?

• 1:29:44Kurt Metzger?

  They didn't tell you that right away. That's something you gleaned from being there. The first thing you saw, I think, was like a gray, right?

• 1:29:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, that was the first thing. When, when I, I got this information, I was, uh, getting out of the military and I saw the master chief of the base, which is like what you do when you're getting out. And then I saw the executive officer and he stood up like very sad and then he just appeared at the end of his desk.

• 1:30:07Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:30:07Speaker 06

  And then he just appeared right in front of me and I took a step back. And he took a step forward and I heard in my head, can you hear what I'm saying to you? And I said, yes, but he wanted like physical confirmation. So he said it again. And I nodded my head and I said, yes. So I mean, I got into like that kind of predicament when I was getting out of the Navy. So, I mean, ju- just that in itself was strange and he did that, I think on purpose, just to prove to me that he wasn't lying. And when I asked him how he did that, how he appeared twice, he said that a, uh, a portal, two portals opened up when you stepped into my office and I just walked through them. And he explained to me because he was a fifth density being and I was a third, third. Density beings can't see or use portals, but they happen all over the earth just randomly.

• 1:30:52Speaker 06

  And they just appear. So I mean, that was, so whenever he did that, I just kind of believe whatever he told me.

• 1:30:58Duncan Trussell?

  What's the difference between, you said the reptilians are fourth density and he was fifth density. What's the difference?

• 1:31:05Speaker 06

  Fourth density is like, what we would consider lower fourth, we would consider that evil in the sense of like demons, which would be like the reptiles and archons, which are like evil spirits. And then upper fourth is like, uh, gnomes, elves, things like that. He told me that they were more, uh, you know, they, they kind of like to screw around with people's lives, mischievous. They're not really evil.

• 1:31:29Duncan Trussell?

  Gnomes suck. Gnomes suck. They do.

• 1:31:33Speaker 06

  Yeah. And, and fifth density is more like technologically and spiritually advanced. And that's a lot of the ETs, like, you know, the, the, the canines and the felines, like you see on the, the pyramid walls and everything. He told me like, those are fifth density beings. Nordics are fifth density. And the reason why they had like, you know, fur heads and flesh bodies, my XO told me is the flesh bodies represented, uh, they're humanoid and they're mortal like us. Like, so they would have had like, you know, fur bodies, but the flesh bodies represented that.

• 1:32:03Kurt Metzger?

  And what exactly is density? I, I was asking this before, but, but like,

• 1:32:08Speaker 06

  I, I, that's a good question because when you get into the program, they put you in a density chamber, but it artificially pushes you from third to fifth. And it's almost like a, a different form of enlightenment. It's like, these beings are closer to us than we think. The universe is smaller than we think in relation to density. It, it's like we're third and we're at the bottom of a cone. It's like, the universe is like a cone. And it, it isn't shaped as a cone, but it, it's best to think of it this way in relation to density. Density, we're thirds, we're at the bottom of the cone. To get from one end of the universe to the other is impossible. Fifth density beings are in the center of the cone. They still need craft, but they can go from one side of the universe to the other.

• 1:32:50Speaker 06

  Ninth density beings, which is the highest that we know of, he told me, he said, not even ninth know anything higher than ninth are at the top of the cone. So they just kind of have to step through their front door and they are on the other end of the universe. And they would just appear in it, you know, on ships and things like that.

• 1:33:05Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 1:33:05Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, how did you find a thing? Hold on, Tanner just pulled up a thing of this cone you're speaking of, which is pretty weird. One density cone, many readings. Who- what is this? Where'd you find this?

• 1:33:15Speaker 05

  Uh, I was just Googling like space cones and

• 1:33:20Speaker 05

  and stuff.

• 1:33:21Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I- it's a diagram of what you're talking about. Okay. So, uh, what- uh, what the thing is like, so you- what did you see first? I don't- I don't remember- I- I don't remember how it goes. You went- that you were in an office or something and they showed you a thing on camera or you had to- you saw something happening at night or something?

• 1:33:37Speaker 06

  No, well, first I saw Keno. You know, I had three watches on Friday night, which isn't common unless you screw up. It- it was like they were building me up or something. I had a balls, you know, midnight to four AM, and I saw Keno the second time. And then the third time, I just came in from like doing a round around base or something like that. And I sat down and the petty officer, the watch, he pointed at the monitor and he's- he said, uh, what do you think about that? And I said, well, did you get that off the internet? And he said, no, look, and by the sliding door and they took you into the underground base, there was like this plexiglass window that was about six inches from the ceiling and six inches from the floor with like a separate office room with tables back there. And this thing was standing like it behind this window.

• 1:34:19Speaker 06

  And he said, no, look, he said, and then he asked me, do you mind if it comes in here? And I said, no. And I just walked out of the office door and then walked through the sliding glass door of the underground base and just walked in. And it had what looked like, I thought it was a weapon in its hand. And I- I stood up and I just got back from my rack and I pointed at it and I said, gun, gun, gun. And then they all said, it's not a gun. And it- I sat back down, it walked up. I thought it might've been a syringe. I- I was- I was trying to figure out what was happening and it was actually a drill. And it took apart a Dell computer like a machine, like, and it was, it was, I don't know, about three and a half feet tall. It was, uh, khaki with a slight pink of hue about it. It had a fold of skin from its tear duct going down to its cheekbone.

• 1:35:02Speaker 06

  But it looked like your typical kind of gray face, big black eyes, everything.

• 1:35:05Duncan Trussell?

  So it was just IT. This was IT. This is just some- Like IT department dude.

• 1:35:10Kurt Metzger?

  Well, this is probably an artificial one that they made, right? Or, or it's not like, you know, one of, because I thought the taller ones are like some kind of race, but the, the smaller ones, you make those.

• 1:35:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, the smaller ones are more like organic kind of synthetic that have a hive mind, like a, like a shared consciousness. And they're, they're like ants almost. And yeah, it took apart this computer, like dead accurate, every screw, and it was catching every screw with its other hand. It slid the top off, it reached up on the table.

• 1:35:36Kurt Metzger?

  Long fingers?

• 1:35:38Speaker 06

  Long fing- yeah, like it had to carry its hands in C shape so it wouldn't drag, drag its fingers on the ground. Like its palms are very long and its fingers are even longer, but it had five fingers. It had five toes, it didn't have fingernails, no navel, no nipples. And it, yeah, popped out two gigs of ram.

• 1:35:53Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the homunculus, look at that. Good call.

• 1:35:55Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:35:56Kurt Metzger?

  So that's some homunculus they make and see the big, long hands. But, but this one that he described, does it, am I wrong? It sounds like Ro- Roger the alien from American Dad?

• 1:36:04Duncan Trussell?

  That homunculus is based on how humans perceive themselves. That's not, that's like, it's a different thing, but yeah, it did have long fingers.

• 1:36:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, well, just put in Roger from American Dad because I think Roger kind of has the same shape.

• 1:36:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't, it, it wasn't fat or anything and it's, it's head was a little.

• 1:36:22Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, his head, his fingers.

• 1:36:24Speaker 06

  Too large for a body. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:25Duncan Trussell?

  I, I think we're missing the, the crazy part of this is that they, they have creatures in the military that are putting ram into Dells.

• 1:36:33Kurt Metzger?

  We just watched Cambrian Genomics video in 2014. They were advertising that civilians would be able to CRISPR edit their own life forms. So the government, I mean.

• 1:36:41Duncan Trussell?

  I don't mean it's weird. That's what they're getting them to do.

• 1:36:44Kurt Metzger?

  The government classically is always 40 to 60 years ahead. I imagine they must be light years ahead now, way beyond that.

• 1:36:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:50Kurt Metzger?

  But back, whenever, they were always that, that far ahead. So if in 2014, there's a guy saying citizens will be able to make life forms.

• 1:36:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:58Kurt Metzger?

  With a 3D genetic printer that they had. What do you think they had in the military? Of course they can make them things. That's my contention.

• 1:37:06Duncan Trussell?

  It's not that. I just never pictured them swapping memory out in Dells. That's all. That's the part that's crazy.

• 1:37:13Speaker 06

  Well, well, it, it was just to, to gauge me to see like my reaction, I think is what this whole thing was for.

• 1:37:19Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 1:37:20Speaker 06

  Just seeing it move around very robotic and like ant-like. It looked kind of like. An insect, the way it moved, it was very abrupt and I think they just wanted to see if I'd run away or attack it, or if I would just sit there and be able to like, deal with it.

• 1:37:32Duncan Trussell?

  So you were being vetted, basically. They're vetting you.

• 1:37:35Speaker 06

  Exactly, because after it left, the petty officer watched it. Do you think you could work around something like that? I said, I don't see why not. And that was just the beginning of it, yes.

• 1:37:44Kurt Metzger?

  So, right there, well, here's what this story reminds me of. That guy JR Sweet that I want to have on the show too, who was at MormonMonarch.org, and he talks about at his birthday, or one of the kids' birthdays in his big Mormon family, a guy shows up, some ventriloquist that was like, I guess, kind of well-known then, and he does a little puppet show, right? And then each kid went in the room, one by one, to play a game called, "What's in the box?"

• 1:38:08Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, God.

• 1:38:09Kurt Metzger?

  And when you opened the box, there was a severed human hand.

• 1:38:11Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:38:12Kurt Metzger?

  So, his sisters and brothers all screamed, but he didn't, and his brother didn't. They dissociated instead. They were just like, "I'm not even gonna emotionally deal with this right now." And they're looking for that. They're looking for you, to not make a big deal about something fucking batshit in front of your face.

• 1:38:28Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:38:29Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, would you, I, would you, I'm just thinking of that because of what you said, but that may not be what you felt. Would you say that's even close to what you felt? Or were you just like, you genuinely were like, whatever?

• 1:38:39Speaker 06

  Well, I mean, whenever I said "gun" and I stood up, there was a British guard, military guard, behind him. And his rifle went from on his shoulder at the ready, which meant it was in his hands. He didn't have it pointed at me, he had it in his hands. So I kind of figured like, the weapon was for me, not for him. So, I just sat down and froze. I mean, there was nothing else I could really do, I think.

• 1:38:59Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, well, that'll work too.

• 1:39:00Duncan Trussell?

  Tell us, I, I've always loved, uh, stories of the hollow earth. And I, I would, if you know anything else about the honeycomb lattices, uh, within the earth, I would love to hear about that, as well as the interior sun. Anything you know about that, Daryl, would be awesome.

• 1:39:21Speaker 06

  Well, I I honestly don't have memories of that. My my not many. My executive officer told me that like I had been to the inner earth and he he acted like I'd been there before, but when I got back to the program from the program, I I jammed my thumb in this reptile's eye as I was putting being put into the density chamber. It looked like a gas chamber. It had like, you know, the watertight door and everything and a chair with straps on it.

• 1:39:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:44Speaker 06

  So I didn't want to go and I tried to run and it slammed me back in the chair and it it got into my face and I jammed my thumb in its eye.

• 1:39:52Kurt Metzger?

  And the reptile ended up, that particular reptile was okay, right? He wasn't, he wasn't even.

• 1:39:55Speaker 06

  Oh, it was okay. Yeah, yeah. But I I was just like.

• 1:39:58Duncan Trussell?

  What do you care if he's okay?

• 1:40:01Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, because I think it's interesting.

• 1:40:02Duncan Trussell?

  You're worried about the reptile getting a scratch on his eye?

• 1:40:05Kurt Metzger?

  Not that, not that. I'm sure they healer and they can fix it. What I'm saying is the reptile was not like an evil reptile, right? Like, like what?

• 1:40:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, I I think it was more like they have like a working cast and a warrior cast and and they're more just kind of like slaves to this more like royal cast.

• 1:40:23Kurt Metzger?

  It's just a working stiff that got poked in the eye.

• 1:40:25Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:40:26Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:27Duncan Trussell?

  A scared monkey to send a fucking shitty monkey going to the density chambers.

• 1:40:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. So I was, after I got back from the program, after I did my 20 year stint, I was to be tortured to death. So I got it. I got to see the underground, like part of the underground caverns very well then.

• 1:40:43Duncan Trussell?

  But why? Why did they want to? Why?

• 1:40:45Kurt Metzger?

  The torture to death means.

• 1:40:46Speaker 06

  Just for a human being to touch a reptile like that. The first thing is like lower than snails. Like, we don't even really have a consciousness as as far as they're concerned, as far as they think.

• 1:40:55Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, even though they feed on us, they think they're better than us. A lot of that going around. Uh, wait, but but the thing is, uh, like as a fifth density being, when you, when they put whatever the hell that means, I don't know if that means you're more or less dense with matter.

• 1:41:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, are you lighter than you?

• 1:41:12Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like you're more plasma than man. I I don't, that that diagram that, uh, Tanner just put up, I have to look at it because I'd never seen that before. But when you go into fifth density, like what is the difference? Like you're visible to other people or not? Because I I've heard you describe it as, um, that's the medium where you can go and talk to other things and that's why we normally wouldn't be able to.

• 1:41:33Speaker 06

  Well, I mean, you would just be like maybe a little flash of light to like a third density to us. Like a fifth density being if they walk past, we wouldn't necessarily see him.

• 1:41:42Kurt Metzger?

  An orb?

• 1:41:43Speaker 06

  I'm sorry?

• 1:41:44Duncan Trussell?

  Like the orbs?

• 1:41:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, like the orbs or like whenever you see something at the corner of your eye, like there's different beings kind of like constantly walking around us and we don't even realize it and they're not really paying attention to us. And it just has to do in relation to density.

• 1:42:00Kurt Metzger?

  It's a, uh, I think there's something where like where we live is like some kind of an ocean for some other thing that has to plunge down into this ocean.

• 1:42:08Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:42:09Kurt Metzger?

  And then the ocean to us is like the abyss. It's like a medium, you know, the air and it's like a medium. So it's like, I, I imagine it's like living in different mediums.

• 1:42:17Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. So, so you're saying that you are in one of these honeycomb caverns that I guess there's a, a train, a rail system connecting all these caverns? Did I take you the wrong way?

• 1:42:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's called the Mag Rail. We had one at St. Mawgan and it was like, there was the quarter, you could see it actually on Google Maps.

• 1:42:38Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, what's the name of the base again?

• 1:42:40Speaker 06

  St. Mawgan in Cornwall, England.

• 1:42:44Speaker 06

  And you could see like a hot tar roof.

• 1:42:45Kurt Metzger?

  Did you say St. Mawgan? Oh my God.

• 1:42:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, M A W G A N.

• 1:42:51Duncan Trussell?

  Got it.

• 1:42:51Kurt Metzger?

  Am I just whacked out on Delta nine or did?

• 1:42:54Duncan Trussell?

  St. Mawgan.

• 1:42:54Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, look, sometimes synchronicities happen, guys. It's, oh, Mawgan, okay, it's not as bad.

• 1:43:00Duncan Trussell?

  Close enough.

• 1:43:00Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I was afraid it was spelled M O G G I N because I just got these beautiful Turkish hair transplants and I've been mugging Duncan all day.

• 1:43:07Duncan Trussell?

  He looks great.

• 1:43:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:09Speaker 06

  And you could see a mound of earth and, and that's where the underground base is. And you see like a hot tar roof, a gable roof, and then another small hot tar roof, and then there's the big mound for the underground base. And that gable roof was, uh, the, the Mag lift. And it, it was heading towards the ocean, you know, it was heading towards Ireland, basically, heading, heading towards the water.

• 1:43:31Kurt Metzger?

  Now, yeah. Just to be clear, what is the British military and US military, like, you know, I know MI6 and all that shit and whatever, but like, what, what, do they have some agency you never heard of that is running in that base or who, who's it in joint operations with?

• 1:43:48Speaker 06

  Well, I mean, I was just told we have a contract and the contract is they give us technology and we give them so many bodies every year in exchange into these programs. And all underground bases, they're like, the base I was at, it was supposedly to find submarines in the Arctic Circle, North Korea, Russia, China, but it was, I was told on my XO, they're all underground bases, the main reason they're there is for this program and for adrenochrome harvesting.

• 1:44:13Kurt Metzger?

  Um, so what does, um, uh, my buddy Eric Hekker was the guy that worked at the ice cube neutrino detector that said it's a, um, fast and light communication as well as a direct energy weapon. Uh, did they tell you anything about Antarctica?

• 1:44:27Speaker 06

  No, nothing, except for that's where whenever they channeled, when the off-world Germans used the Brille Society, the Brille women to channel ETs, I guess, they told them to go to Antarctica to find ET tech that was buried in the ice and they took it to South America and reverse engineered it there.

• 1:44:45Kurt Metzger?

  And, um, so, okay, so which Germans got off, that Nazi bell, is that what that is, or is that, you don't know anything about that?

• 1:44:53Speaker 06

  I'm, I'm sure that's partially what it is. Yeah. I mean, that's what they were working at, at the time. He told me that, like, the point of view of the Germans was not to win the war, but just to prolong it as long as possible to get this tech out into South America and figure it out.

• 1:45:08Duncan Trussell?

  Daryl, that right now floating around, uh, is the idea that there are all these different alien species, right? You got the reptilians, the grays. What about the Nords? Did you ever run into any of them?

• 1:45:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, I mean, that was my family in the, in the program, basically. There's like a joint task.

• 1:45:28Kurt Metzger?

  What are they called?

• 1:45:29Duncan Trussell?

  Nords.

• 1:45:30Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, no. He, he knows a name. What is the name that they set use?

• 1:45:32Speaker 06

  The Gettons.

• 1:45:33Kurt Metzger?

  Tygettons.

• 1:45:34Duncan Trussell?

  What are they like? What do they, what do they look like? What do they act like?

• 1:45:39Speaker 06

  Um, they're taller than us. Um, women are like five, ten, men are, men are probably six, four. Their eyes are about a fifth larger than ours.

• 1:45:47Kurt Metzger?

  I'm six, four.

• 1:45:48Speaker 06

  Blonde haired.

• 1:45:49Kurt Metzger?

  I have bulging eyes and beautiful frosted tips right now.

• 1:45:51Duncan Trussell?

  Hmm.

• 1:45:53Speaker 06

  And they have like a warrior caste too of males and they're about seven feet.

• 1:45:58Kurt Metzger?

  But they have a mog squad.

• 1:46:00Duncan Trussell?

  So, so they're not sinister like the reptilians, right? Are they, they're benevolent or what's their deal?

• 1:46:06Speaker 06

  They're kind of neutral. They're, they kind of worry about themselves at the day, you know, they have relations with other ETs and things like that, but there is like a war going on and they actually call it the game between, just like the constant struggle of positive, negative. There's, there's a constant war going on.

• 1:46:22Kurt Metzger?

  The black and white Masonic chessboard. The black and white Masonic chessboard. Um, do they have a religion?

• 1:46:30Speaker 06

  Um, I, I remember Robert telling me that I went to, uh, my first daughter's wedding. There is kind of a religion. Uh, that's more in like the female aspect. Like I remember it was like a, a woman, like a priestess, I guess. And only the warrior caste have like, uh, weddings because they get more wives, because they earn it, because they can't, uh, be with a woman until like their first kill, basically. And, um,

• 1:46:55Kurt Metzger?

  Really? I, wow.

• 1:46:57Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:46:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. So, and it, the regular men are just, they usually just have like one or two wives, but the warrior caste will have like seven, eight more.

• 1:47:04Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:47:05Duncan Trussell?

  What, what's their language sound like?

• 1:47:07Speaker 06

  Uh, it's telepathy, but they do have like a verbal language, like in their spiritual matters. And it's almost like a, it kind of sounded like almost like a Native American kind of language, like a Akna, M'Nak.

• 1:47:20Kurt Metzger?

  Did you say the kids have like a pig Latin they'll speak or something when they're young before they start?

• 1:47:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. Robert told me the reason they like me so much is because you could speak to the children and I asked what he meant and he said till they're about six years old, they speak a kind of like telepathic pig Latin, where all you hear is kind of like, first we went to the Apa Kaka and then to the Apa Pakaka. It's like a baby language, like a babble. They kind of speak in between. And it's more emotion based and less like word based, if that makes sense.

• 1:47:51Duncan Trussell?

  How did, how did you get out of being tortured to death by reptilians? How'd you escape that fate? What?

• 1:47:59Kurt Metzger?

  He didn't.

• 1:47:59Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 1:48:00Kurt Metzger?

  They can bring, well, explain it to them. I'm sorry, guys.

• 1:48:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, like eventually I had to go back and then that's when the torture happened because they didn't know what happened, they don't, they didn't know why I did it, they didn't know anything about what I did in the program or anything like that and they were just gonna torture me to death just for pleasure, for, for his joy.

• 1:48:18Kurt Metzger?

  They bring you back though, right? That's the thing.

• 1:48:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, they brought me back in the end and that's when it happened. It was two days long.

• 1:48:23Kurt Metzger?

  No, I mean back to life. Isn't it a thing they could just toss you in a tank and like reconstitute you or some shit?

• 1:48:28Speaker 06

  Oh, oh, right, right. Yeah, like there was, behind me, there was a all underground bases have med beds, they have healing tanks, they have age regression chambers, which they can age regress you, uh, twenty years in about two, about two weeks. They have to send you back early from the program to age regress you. It takes about two weeks to age you, to age you twenty years. But yeah, they just kept on throwing me into a healing tank and then throwing me back out. Sometimes there was a guy at the bar on base, it was this British Army guy, I called him the Goon. And nobody else was at this bar because they knew these people were no good because they'd see him in the underground base sometimes wearing like black cloaks and black hoods. And, um, he would just tell me things when he got drunk and he told me that he was like

• 1:49:11Speaker 06

  pulling me out of the healing tank, which was probably three meters high. And a couple of times I landed face first on the rock and he said one time you, you you started to convulse and Aquino said, "Stop throwing him out of the tank, I want him fresh." So yeah, there was a guy on the bar that would just tell me things on base after I got back from this program. Tell me about like a life I didn't know I had, basically.

• 1:49:33Kurt Metzger?

  Do you think Aquino whacked himself or do you think he was taken out?

• 1:49:37Speaker 06

  Oh, I mean, I, I don't know, but I mean Aquino isn't what, he, he, he's actually, one of the guys on base, that guy Lando told me that, you know, somebody else told him there's a machine in these underground bases that can extract the soul, the consciousness, but it has to be done before puberty. But it can't be too, be done too young because the, the body's like a vessel and it's mostly sedentary, like a vehicle. So the, the, the kid would get weak, you know, the body would, would die. So they have to wait till they're about nine or ten and then they extract the soul out. And then something else can kind of project its soul into that body. And use him like a puppet.

• 1:50:13Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:50:14Speaker 06

  And that's what Aquino was.

• 1:50:15Kurt Metzger?

  It's a moon child, right? That's what you, that's why people do rituals in Colorado, whatever, so they're trying to let somebody be a vessel of something. In fact, Carl Jung claimed Germany got possessed with Odin, right? That dude Hitler is a hollowed out, I think he was born to be what he was, and the reason they're trying to, you always hear about cloning Hitler. It's not because he was personally so cool. He's got the DNA to fill him up with something else.

• 1:50:39Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:50:39Kurt Metzger?

  Is my guess.

• 1:50:40Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:50:41Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know what Daryl wants, way, I'm, I'm, I'm probably wackier of my beliefs than Daryl is, and he, he went to Mars.

• 1:50:47Duncan Trussell?

  You went to Mars?

• 1:50:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, like when I was in the dark fleet, there was like a German breakaway society and they were kind of like mercenaries for the draconian empire, which are like the reptiles.

• 1:50:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 1:50:59Speaker 06

  And yeah, I went to Mars just doing mantises. There's a lot of mantises on Mars and they're very good at DNA manipulation. And I was basically like taking them, like finding these different mantis beings to take them back to the ship to get their basically, because it was against their will to get information basically extracted from them.

• 1:51:18Duncan Trussell?

  You would capture the same beings people see on ayahuasca?

• 1:51:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, yes.

• 1:51:23Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and this theme isn't all the disclosure now.

• 1:51:25Speaker 06

  They're more tangible.

• 1:51:26Duncan Trussell?

  Why do they come to people on ayahuasca?

• 1:51:30Speaker 06

  I mean, they're, they're most like us, I would say. You can actually get them laughing in a sense. They're, they're, they're most like human beings. But I, I mean, I would say just because you're in the higher density, you're, you're in, whenever you take hallucinogens, you go into like a fourth density, basically is what you do. You go into the astral plane, the spiritual.

• 1:51:50Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:51:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, and this is something we can do naturally, go up one density. And that's one of the reasons why the reptiles created the density chamber. Because fourth density beings don't have the ability to go up to fifth naturally like we do.

• 1:52:02Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, gotcha.

• 1:52:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:52:04Kurt Metzger?

  How would you go naturally to fifth density?

• 1:52:07Speaker 06

  I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Like, they just, there's like a bit, we, we have the ability to go up on just through, you know, meditation, astral projection, things like that. But they don't have that ability to go up on density naturally. So they need a machine to do it artificially.

• 1:52:21Kurt Metzger?

  So the thing about kidnapping, this is the thing. So the reason I looked into all this wacky shit, I swear to God, it's because of Daryl's story. I was looking up the tall whites first, okay? And then his story all of a sudden included Satan for some reason. And, uh, you know, I'd vaguely heard of the knocked off in, but I didn't know anything. And, and keep in mind, like, I mean, the technology that they have,

• 1:52:46Kurt Metzger?

  I, I don't know, like, do you ever wonder like how much of it is like they put you through an amusement park underground that looks exactly real? I, I mean, I guess there's no difference in the end if it seems completely real. But, but like, you know, couldn't they just tell you you're on Mars and whatever, you know?

• 1:53:02Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. How do you know you're on Mars?

• 1:53:04Speaker 06

  I mean, that's a good question. It's just memory and, you know, memory is a strange thing. I mean, but what, what makes it, it wasn't that nobody told me I was, I was on Mars. What makes it more tangible for me is that my executive officer took like an hour and a half before I left the Navy and just kind of explained everything to me. And he said, he said the reason he explained it to me was because a majority of people who still have memories of the twenty year back usually kill themselves in the first six months.

• 1:53:31Kurt Metzger?

  Is that because of?

• 1:53:32Speaker 06

  Let me know that this was real.

• 1:53:34Kurt Metzger?

  What, now what is that? Is that like, you know, just because they're bad memories or is that something to do with having like two different time? You know, like something temporals wrong with you because you got memories from the future and the past at the same time?

• 1:53:45Speaker 06

  I, I think it's both because it, it's just that you have the bad memories, but it's also, there's kind of two, two of you existing at one time. And if something happens where the one person on earth like retains his memories, it, it's like he's not whole or complete until the, the time loop is over and until that person goes back on their twenty years. So it's like, if, if you join when you're twenty, you're not going to be a whole person if you still have memories till you're forty. Because you're out of that time loop, if that makes sense.

• 1:54:16Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 1:54:17Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it does to me, but maybe that's.

• 1:54:18Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it's like, there's a, there's a whole series based on this. You know, you could send like, half of your life you could work, but you don't remember.

• 1:54:26Kurt Metzger?

  They may, they have a series now.

• 1:54:27Duncan Trussell?

  What's that called? It's good.

• 1:54:29Kurt Metzger?

  The one with uh.

• 1:54:30Speaker 06

  I saw a couple of episodes of that, I forget, yeah.

• 1:54:32Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and that's, they, they, it's a mil- there's a million movies out now. If you, the new Spielberg one is so gross because it's got direct monarch, the girl's got monarch butterflies all over her wall. She gets lured to a gingerbread house by uh, aliens posing as Disney creatures. Cause you know Disney's where they do a lot of real rotten shit underneath Disneyland. Walt Disney was always in on it. C V Wood, the disgusting warlock who built the place. All these people are, this is why I was asking Daryl this, because all these people.

• 1:55:00Duncan Trussell?

  Offended!

• 1:55:01Kurt Metzger?

  All these, you, you had this funny thing you said, don't get about going there and what Disney's there for, and I think you were just going off your feelings of being at Disney. You know, it's there to make you blank out and hypnotize you.

• 1:55:11Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, psychedelics for kids.

• 1:55:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so that's a thing you're saying as a joke, uh, uh, well, I mean, I don't think you, you're, you're being funny, but that's what it is. No, no, it is.

• 1:55:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:22Kurt Metzger?

  And so these, like, Akino, why would a guy like Akino work in the military at, let's say Daryl's full of shit and whatever, but why would this Akino work in the military at all?

• 1:55:30Duncan Trussell?

  It's crazy.

• 1:55:30Kurt Metzger?

  He'd work in the military so we could, we could put memories in people like the ones Daryl has. And he's a magic guy, and they're all, that's why all of America, I call all Americans are Disney adults. Cause they have mass warped everybody's fucking brain, and then I have no doubts they can spread you into pla- buy location's an old thing. He's describing kidnapping mantids to, so they can give information to these occultic off-world Germans. That sounds like Solomon summoning Goatia, and using American soldiers.

• 1:55:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:00Kurt Metzger?

  As Shabbos Goy to go capture the demons to make them do what I want. You see the themes repeating, like, there's something going on, you know?

• 1:56:08Duncan Trussell?

  Daryl, what's your day-to-day experience like now? I mean, you have all this, like, deep information, you know, you're, you're a public figure. How do you, how do you cope?

• 1:56:20Speaker 06

  I mean, I can't, I think it's like a blessing that they did wipe my mind because I even, I have, you know, very vivid memory of the torture itself. I mean, and so there was a time probably when they were first all flooding back to me several years ago where I was on shaky ground. But I mean, I don't know, it's amazing what people can cope with. It's amazing that I could see this drone is what they call them, you know, take apart a computer and I didn't run away or, you know, it just became part of life. And that's how human beings are like we can see just unimaginable things and it just becomes part of life.

• 1:56:54Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I think, uh, well, it's what the Satanists say, the secret of human nature is programmability. And that's why they are trying to program us 24/7. Um, I have a question about the Nordic, uh, the, uh, Taijitans. Because, you know, okay, I get it. They're in fifth density. So they're cones smaller. It's easier to get around. Um, but do you think it's possible? I don't know whatever planet they're supposed to be on, but I, let's just say it's 50 million light years or whatever. So if you were gonna, let's say Hitler at that camp of eugenics camp he had of tall blondes breeding each other and they stick him in a Nazi bell and say, hey, go to this planet 50 million light years away and it's faster than light. They would have effectively traveled in time to before we were here on earth, traveling that distance, correct?

• 1:57:39Duncan Trussell?

  Sure.

• 1:57:39Kurt Metzger?

  Is it possible those are just Germans that got sent up that went and did their own thing? And they might not even remember they're from here. It feels like everybody's from here and they're lying and saying they're not from here.

• 1:57:50Speaker 06

  Well, I mean, they still, they still know they're from here that they understand they have their own world now that like they're, they're an off world.

• 1:57:59Kurt Metzger?

  Not the Nazi ones, the ones that are called Taijitans. The Taijitans sound like eugenics experiments.

• 1:58:05Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, that's, they actually see us, they, they, they, they're interested in us because they see us as the way they used to be. And that could be on many levels that we are like their descendants. That could be very, very true. And because you're exactly right, as you're traveling nearing the speed of light, you know, time is a complete illusion to these beings, especially fifth density beings. It's a complete illusion. So you're absolutely right. Yes.

• 1:58:33Kurt Metzger?

  So cause an event when you're in fifth density. I mean, do you remember any effects? The way you, I remember you kind of describing it. What happened when you were in fifth density before you even got into space or whatever? What, what, uh, what did that feel like?

• 1:58:46Speaker 06

  I mean, it was just colors became, your color spectrum went up, uh, night vision went up, your hearing went up. Um, things tasted different. You didn't, you, you move quicker. I remember there was something called density sickness on the moon. I first got sent to the moon for poking the reptile in the eye. I was going to do like these, do slave work for 20 years. And I remember, um,

• 1:59:10Speaker 06

  everything just got really fast and I heard like chipmunk sounds and it was very fast. And I just heard, saw these blurs going in front of me and I heard chipmunk sounds. And all of a sudden it was like, one of the guys I worked with was holding me by the arm saying, are you all right? Are you all right? And I said, yeah. And he goes, it's just density sickness. Don't worry about it.

• 1:59:26Duncan Trussell?

  Density sickness.

• 1:59:28Speaker 06

  And it's just like, you kind of go like the first couple, two or three weeks after you get pushed into fifth density artificially, you kind of revert back in the third and it's almost like a relief. But I remember that. I remember this density sickness. And when you see it, saw it happen to other people, it happened to a different guy. And the same one who, who was holding my arms from the last time, he said, watch him. He said, hold him. Make sure he doesn't fall. It'll wear off. And I went to grab this person's arm and like lift it up just because I was interested and he said, don't do that. And I asked why? He said, you're much too fast for him. You could hurt him. So, yeah.

• 1:59:59Duncan Trussell?

  Daryl, I gotta ask you, I'm so sorry. I had this dream. I can't get it out of my head. I was like, these reptilians were showing me something. They were showing me they had, uh, I don't know how to put it, like observation bays, but in another dimension that kind of stick into our dimension. And they really liked watching us suffer. Like they, for no reason.

• 2:00:19Kurt Metzger?

  Where did this happen?

• 2:00:20Duncan Trussell?

  It was just a dream I had, but it was one of those real, it was like, I was at Disney, uh, when I took the family to Disney.

• 2:00:26Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 2:00:26Duncan Trussell?

  I'm just kidding. It wasn't, I don't remember what it was, but Daryl, I just wanted to ask, uh, it was one of those dreams you, you just remember. And one of the things they were showing me is how they travel. They, they, they have tunnels or something. They like to, to slither through. And in the dream, they were sort of saying they liked the way it feels to like.

• 2:00:47Duncan Trussell?

  It's so weird. It was just a dream probably, but I just, you're the only person I know who's

• 2:00:53Kurt Metzger?

  Matt one.

• 2:00:54Duncan Trussell?

  Matt one. Does that just sound like a bullshit dream or does any of that check out?

• 2:01:00Speaker 06

  Well, I mean, they enjoy pain and suffering. They enjoy lose, like the Mayan pyramids and the Aztec pyramids. That was them. The Egyptian pyramids were the avians like Thoth and things like that. So they enjoy pain. They enjoy suffering and the whole slipping in and out of like portals or whatever. That's something they do. That's like their forte. They're like they're sneaky. They

• 2:01:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 2:01:20Speaker 06

  As I said, you could be, they could be conjured. They can, they can just show up and you might not be able to see him.

• 2:01:25Kurt Metzger?

  They said, well, didn't you say that the dude was telling you not to say the dude's name? Like a keynote, cause he could like, if you, if you talk about him too much, they could watch you.

• 2:01:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. Eventually we, we just called him the 5,000 year old reptile because like he, he said, like, we need to stop talking about Aquino. And I asked why? I was asking who he was, what the reptile was that possessed him, like what was happening? And he said, we need to stop talking about him. And I asked why? And he said, we could conjure him. And I said, what are we 10 year old girls at a slumber party? We can conjure him? And he said, yes, I'm serious. He said, he could be in this room right now and wouldn't even know it.

• 2:01:59Kurt Metzger?

  And is this when you're in fifth density or regular, normal?

• 2:02:03Speaker 06

  Well, this is when I got back and I was just talking to him and he was just explaining my executive.

• 2:02:09Duncan Trussell?

  Why don't we stop talking about him?

• 2:02:12Kurt Metzger?

  Well, he's tragically not with, so wait, so, okay, so you were, they recruit you in this thing because you go through an IQ detector? And then, uh, you know, you see a Roger from American Dad, Scrum and Screws, and then uh, you get taken with this big reptile and, uh, and then you think he's killing you. So right away you screwed up like your first day of this, right? Is that how?

• 2:02:35Speaker 06

  Exactly. I screwed up royally my first day. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was reminded of it like on a daily basis in the program, pretty much.

• 2:02:41Kurt Metzger?

  So he gets in the program and the first day he fucks up by poking this lizard man in the eye? And his whole story is how he's bad for this.

• 2:02:48Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, it's the right response.

• 2:02:52Kurt Metzger?

  It's just like, you see why a story like this, I can't stop thinking about? It's just so like, it don't sound like, there are a lot of secret space program stories and they're very hard to sort through.

• 2:03:01Duncan Trussell?

  No, this one's good.

• 2:03:02Kurt Metzger?

  But this is one that made me like, look into all this shit. And the thing that's crazy is, I mean, we don't even have time to go into all of that. We have to have, we'll do like a dedicated, the rest of the story. I just want you to understand about underground bases.

• 2:03:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:03:15Kurt Metzger?

  How are they digging them, by the way? Do you know?

• 2:03:18Speaker 06

  Well, I mean, they have, they have natural, you know, tunnels that are already there, you know, like in Cornwall. I think it's called, what is it? It's not, is it St. Ives or end of the world or something? The very tip of Cornwall, it's a peninsula. Waves have been crashing against the Cornish cliffs for millions of years and it's created this complex cave system. You can actually take a nuclear sub through it, through the end of the peninsula and why, and pop up in like an underground pond in St. Malgin, in the, in the underground bases. But they actually have like these, uh, big cylindrical shaped machines. You can find it on the internet, on YouTube and it has a nuclear reactor. I think it goes around three or four miles an hour when it's drilling. And it actually creates a one meter thick

• 2:04:01Speaker 06

  of glass. It turns the earth into glass. It's so hot. So as it drills, it already builds its support as it keeps going. And that, that's a big, was it Phil Schneider? Where, where, I think you, you've mentioned him. Yeah. Like those, that, those are the machines they were working with when that happened.

• 2:04:17Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, cool.

• 2:04:18Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know, uh, what the machine's called? It's not called a Shamir worm by any chance, is it?

• 2:04:23Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 2:04:24Speaker 06

  I, I don't remember, but you could, I mean, you could find it on the internet. It's, it's very available.

• 2:04:28Kurt Metzger?

  The Shamir worm is the one in the Talmud, Solomon, when he's harnessing the seventy-two demons to build the Lord's temple.

• 2:04:36Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a Shamir worm. It's probably got a dumb name, like a VR ninety-eight.

• 2:04:40Kurt Metzger?

  I'm telling you about the stories he's told when he, so he, they had, he uses his Solomonic powers to summon, I guess, a mantis. And he's like, and he wasn't allowed to use weapons of war to cut the stone in the story. So, but demons are okay. They have a little, little plot hole there. But he goes, uh, you need a Shamir worm and some worm that they had to keep in a lead box. And it would immediately molecularly break down whatever was around. You could cut right through stone with it. And people are like, is it a laser? Is it a something? So I'm just wondering what they named that vessel that does it. And I wouldn't be surprised. They call it.

• 2:05:13Duncan Trussell?

  Shamir and four nine eight.

• 2:05:15Kurt Metzger?

  Some shit like that. Yeah.

• 2:05:16Speaker 06

  Or his nickname, yeah.

• 2:05:18Duncan Trussell?

  It's great meeting you, man. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Like, wow, what a story.

• 2:05:23Kurt Metzger?

  Cause it's the last minute thing, but I want it cause, cause just tell him one thing of, uh, uh, Daryl about what this. Your commanding officer, after you get out from fucking up on your first day.

• 2:05:34Kurt Metzger?

  And so, uh, like, what did he look like? And why did he look like that? This is an amazing detail of this story that I will never forget.

• 2:05:41Speaker 06

  Yeah. He said that, well, he was looking down my timeline. So he, it was like, he was a fifth density being. He was born that way. He was genetically engineered in the womb to be very telepathic, very psychic. And, uh, he was looking down my timeline and he's just looked up at me and he, in the office. And he said, you think I look like Mike Pence? And I said, who's that? And he said, he becomes Trump's vice president. And I said, Trump, the billionaire? And he goes, yes. And then he explained to me that originally the timeline when Hillary Clinton won the presidency, which is when it happened, um, the United States was completely invaded, you know, under the guise of immigration. It was much worse than originally what, what is happening now. And, um,

• 2:06:24Speaker 06

  and they had like hundred year, uh, uh, I'm sorry, Hillary Clinton's second election. We got, uh, United States was carpet bombed by nuclear weapons and the United States fell. And then they had these hundred year breeding programs where they, where they bred everybody together of European descent. And then they, uh, they took the lighter skinned people and then they had a hundred year breeding program with the Chinese and the Asians. And then they, uh, You know, kind of like admired themselves for a hundred years and thought, you know, we're finally one people and so on and so forth. And then he said they realized they made they made a mistake and they had to extract the Anglo Saxon gene from the people they had.

• 2:07:03Speaker 06

  And doing that, uh, this breeding program to extract the Anglo Saxon gene, it created like a Mike Pence people and he said that, their hair goes salt, their hair salt and peppers at fifty, goes completely white at sixty. Their eyebrows turn completely white at seventy and their average life expectancy is a hundred and ten. But he said they changed that, they changed that original timeline.

• 2:07:26Duncan Trussell?

  Wild.

• 2:07:28Kurt Metzger?

  Isn't that fucking amazing?

• 2:07:29Duncan Trussell?

  Very weird.

• 2:07:29Kurt Metzger?

  And he's and his timeline's gone, but he's still alive and doesn't know why, correct?

• 2:07:34Speaker 06

  Exactly. Like, yeah, he like, he looked, he sounded very fearful when I brought that up. Yes.

• 2:07:38Kurt Metzger?

  Well, here, you know, the old science thing, what happens if you go back in time and kill your grandpa? You become immortal and without sin, uh, a snake blowing itself for all eternity. A real Mike Pence.

• 2:07:52Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, anyway, okay, so we got Daryl back, but, uh, I just wanted to explain.

• 2:07:55Duncan Trussell?

  You're the best. Thank you so much.

• 2:07:56Kurt Metzger?

  Deep underground bases, uh, to don't get, uh, and, uh,

• 2:07:59Duncan Trussell?

  Really appreciate it. Thank you for your time.

• 2:08:01Speaker 06

  Thanks, Kurt.

• 2:08:02Kurt Metzger?

  All right, brother.

• 2:08:02Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you. Cool. That was awesome.

• 2:08:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. So there you go. That you, uh, another mystery.

• 2:08:10Duncan Trussell?

  Another mystery solved.

• 2:08:12Kurt Metzger?

  Kind of the start of a mystery. So I think Daryl's on the truth. That doesn't mean that all these other people were telling the truth to Daryl.

• 2:08:20Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know. It's so cool.

• 2:08:21Kurt Metzger?

  The part that's, this is the thing that I don't think you're ever gonna be able to pick apart is, is how much of this is external and how much of this is them programming your internal worlds, which are, if you know, hermeticism, the same thing. So, and that's the whole thing. If, if I get you to one hundred percent, it's as good as a memory. I have altered reality completely. Think of the magic of Disney.

• 2:08:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:43Kurt Metzger?

  Now I have a certain fear that underground, and this is really literally in physical matter hell. They have an amusement park of fucking all this insane shit that they don't have to. He's going through a gateway to Mars right now. You didn't go anywhere.

• 2:08:57Duncan Trussell?

  Sure, just like a soundstage.

• 2:08:58Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, the most amazing soundstage that you could lure a child in with and then do unspeakable things and then who's gonna believe their story? And think of all the grooming movies you had about as a child, you should like venture into a hole and go to a world of fairies and goblins.

• 2:09:12Duncan Trussell?

  Alice in Wonderland.

• 2:09:13Kurt Metzger?

  Labri- uh, all of them. You get every, everything that's ever been shown to you is since your child, Pokemon keeps popping up and it's gonna pop up again later, I'm sorry.

• 2:09:22Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sure.

• 2:09:23Kurt Metzger?

  The, everyone's been groomed. Everyone has been groomed to think a certain way and go a certain way and you can, once you see it, you can't unsee it. And then you can see like, if I was some creep that was enslaving everyone, okay, one, I would make them immoral as fuck. Because then it requires a prison, such as the earth as a prison, right? So I'd make sure you're immoral so I can imprison you. Can't be free unless you got morals, right? So, I, I want that and then I'd make it a grotesque amusement park, like what America is or the amusement parks of America. Underground, all the money, you know, we're missing like, not to alarm anyone, but like 40 trillion fucking dollars is just unaccounted for. So, where the fuck is it?

• 2:10:07Kurt Metzger?

  It either went off the planet or under the ground.

• 2:10:10Duncan Trussell?

  Why would you take money off planet?

• 2:10:12Kurt Metzger?

  It's uh, at the end of the day, it's just units of energy as the great Elon Musk's uh, moon cult family wants is uh, the tech nate where you're, you're paid in energy units so you're like, oh, I can travel or I can have a hamburger today. That's their future for us. So, I, I, this guy's story, whatever's real or fake in it, it was compelling enough for me to go look up all this other shit to make sense of it. Because the story is actually like more interesting than anything I've ever heard in recent movies. And I've seen movies come out that hit on parts of it, but a detail like that Mike Pence thing dude is like begs for a Sam Rockwell treatment.

• 2:10:50Duncan Trussell?

  It's very cool.

• 2:10:51Kurt Metzger?

  How could I forget that as a writer, that story?

• 2:10:53Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, poor Mike Pence, his entire timeline wiped out.

• 2:10:56Kurt Metzger?

  And also, when you're figuring that Mike Pence is a huge piece of shit. Okay, who's by the way, in touch with the guy from the Quiverful cult, Gethard? Real like this. If you know anything about the Dugger cult, 19 and counting?

• 2:11:08Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:11:10Kurt Metzger?

  And my friend Brooke was raised in it.

• 2:11:11Duncan Trussell?

  Vince is connected to that dude?

• 2:11:13Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, of course. Every shitbag, evil child trafficking cult is connected to someone in the government. That's why there's blacked out parts in the, here just, uh, to my good friend Gavin McGinnis, who hasn't found anything in the Epstein files, and don't think it's because he didn't look.

• 2:11:29Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, the, the reason they blacked anything out is because they're guilty, you dumb shits.

• 2:11:33Duncan Trussell?

  Can you do your apology to him? Cause we said we would. And do you mind, let me just?

• 2:11:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I'll put the thing on. I want to apologize to Gavin because

• 2:11:38Duncan Trussell?

  One second.

• 2:11:39Kurt Metzger?

  I'm having, you know, I'm the one having a moral panic here. Oh, wait, I don't need my headphones for this. Or actually, maybe I should sing it to Gavin.

• 2:11:47Duncan Trussell?

  This is not gonna be singable, but you can try.

• 2:11:50Kurt Metzger?

  No, it's not. I can't sing anyway. Oh, Gavin, great, great point, uh, about, what was Epstein even doing besides hooking up with 14 year olds? Yeah, that's bad.

• 2:12:02Kurt Metzger?

  But even Nick Fuentes, his 15 is okay, right?

• 2:12:05Duncan Trussell?

  Come on.

• 2:12:06Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, and so

• 2:12:07Duncan Trussell?

  We worked on this so long, you're, come on.

• 2:12:09Kurt Metzger?

  His low IQ to think there's anything more there. It's obviously perfectly reasonable for the US government to redact a beef jerky recipe. Right? That doesn't mean it's not an innocent beef jerky recipe, just because they shut the entire government down to avoid complying with the law to show you what's in the file. You were right, a foreigner from Canada who converted to Catholicism as an adult, and there's nothing weird about that. And clearly, not only is that not weird, you're a great Christian on top of it.

• 2:12:40Duncan Trussell?

  Talk about how you like, you think Vice is a great chant, was great, and you were

• 2:12:43Kurt Metzger?

  I used to love Vice. Gavin was the first hipster. You know, all hipsters are from him. You remember that, right?

• 2:12:50Duncan Trussell?

  Not, not

• 2:12:51Kurt Metzger?

  The man who launched Portland was Gavin.

• 2:12:54Duncan Trussell?

  Talk about how you love him.

• 2:12:56Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I love his mustache.

• 2:12:59Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I used to love his articles in the magazine Vice. Uh, oh, I loved, uh, working for Vice and having to fight to get paid like everybody else worked at Vice. That's not on him. He was gone by then.

• 2:13:09Duncan Trussell?

  Wish him well.

• 2:13:11Kurt Metzger?

  He's doing great. He's up there like Shelley Schellenberg, like, uh, Schellenberger. Uh, denying Epstein's a problem. And no, uh, low IQ conspiracy. It's not because he went with Rebel News on a trip to Israel.

• 2:13:26Duncan Trussell?

  This is good.

• 2:13:27Kurt Metzger?

  And they paid him a lot of money. It's not like, it's not like he's the low IQ one for being pulled into a dialectic scam.

• 2:13:33Duncan Trussell?

  Apologize for not having kids.

• 2:13:35Kurt Metzger?

  And I want to apologize for not having kids. Uh, for some reason, that's the part he's really hung up on. And no, it's, you know, yeah, okay, I got paranoid and thought, who do you work for and why, why are you trying to breed more cattle? And making me feel guilty like I owed your, whatever the fuck you serve. I guess King Charles? Oh yeah, and monarchy is good. And they're not reptilian. The high IQ take is that we need, uh, kings and a Venetian steady state. And, uh, that, uh, Epstein had a lot of riz.

• 2:14:11Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 2:14:11Kurt Metzger?

  Are you telling me you're not gonna go to 15 year old island? Duncan?

• 2:14:15Duncan Trussell?

  What? Yeah, I, I love Vice.

• 2:14:20Kurt Metzger?

  And you know what? It's perfectly reasonable that a guy could invent Vice, which was a CIA cutout and then the Proud Boys, which is some other government fake thing, uh, honey trap by mistake and then go on to deny that Epstein was a thing. There is nothing suspicious about it.

• 2:14:37Duncan Trussell?

  At all.

• 2:14:37Kurt Metzger?

  And only a low IQ would could ever see that. But, um, anyway.

• 2:14:42Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, uh, thank you.

• 2:14:44Kurt Metzger?

  Obviously he's not a Nazi. Well, I never called him a Nazi.

• 2:14:48Duncan Trussell?

  Never have.

• 2:14:48Kurt Metzger?

  Cause I don't remember Hitler kissing the whaling wall like a bitch, right?

• 2:14:52Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, I gotta go pick up my kid at camp. I'm sorry, man.

• 2:14:56Kurt Metzger?

  Oh shit, I gotta get my kid from space camp.

• 2:14:58Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta get my kid from, haha.

• 2:15:00Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta go to Denver airport and pick up my children.

• 2:15:02Duncan Trussell?

  My kids' density is being lowered right now.

• 2:15:04Kurt Metzger?

  I left there to learn a thing or two about how things work. Alright, yeah, this is a good one though. We got to the bottom of a lot of mysteries.

• 2:15:11Duncan Trussell?

  That was incredible.

• 2:15:12Kurt Metzger?

  Great apology. Epstein did nothing wrong. I'm the low IQ. I hope that that's clear.

• 2:15:17Duncan Trussell?

  A beautiful apology.

• 2:15:19Kurt Metzger?

  Now that I'm not a parasite on society, hating people richer than me.

• 2:15:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:15:22Kurt Metzger?

  Who think regular people are cattle, you know, like a loser would.

• 2:15:25Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 2:15:25Kurt Metzger?

  Like it's clearly. Alright, well, mystery boys.

• 2:15:28Duncan Trussell?

  Signing out. Namaste.

• 2:15:36Speaker 05

  Mystery boys are so keepers for you.

• 2:15:41Speaker 05

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• 2:16:26Speaker 05

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