The Definitely Real, Totally Accurate Story of Cyrus (Herodotus The Histories Bk 1, Part 3)

And we are back again with another week of Herodotus and his Histories. This time, we go backwards to explore how the Persian Empire got power within Asia. Isn't that fun? There certainly will not be any tangents here! No, not at all. Why would you think that? Submit your question for the next Q&A via email http://mythsbaby.com/questions or a voice note https://www.speakpipe.com/LTAMB. Get ad-free episodes and so, so much more, by subscribing to the Oracle Edition at patreon.com/mythsbaby http://patreon.com/mythsbaby CW/TW: far too many Greek myths involve assault. I try to provide direct warnings when there is reference to anything with overtly traumatic themes but be aware that Greek mythology regularly features assault, death, and many other potentially triggering events. To submit your questions for the Livestream event this Saturday September 27th please go here https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeNjmAIR4m55dc7h-iEaffjoQnRawlSCjeCeD6MPEeqpMiPmQ/viewform?fbclid=PAT01DUAM9w7hleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABp9CgLZCmjAFZF_70H7XggenFdDRwO3XvMC0JYLcGpNeJFyo1QYQQ7V_tjGwe_aem_oi5noaORqKyF07f1pBqCLw and regal us with all your wonderful queries. Sources: Herodotus The Histories translated by Tom Holland. Attributions and licensing information for music used in the podcast can be found here:mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions http://mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions. Learn more about Liv's next group trips https://travelbugxlivalbert.my.canva.site/ to GREECE! Application deadline is November 30 (Subject to change due to demand). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

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• 0:00Liv Albert?

  Hey nerds, really quick note from me. I want to tell you that we now have the applications open for the next set of listener group trips. This is us going back to the original, the trips that we have held in the past that have been so much fun, so successful, and pretty affordable in terms of wandering around Greece with a bunch of nerds. So check out the details and get your applications in at mythsbaby.com/groups.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  This December, the magic of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol returns to Virginia Repertory Theater in downtown Richmond. Experience the transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge as he's visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, and rediscovers the joy and true meaning of the holiday season. Performances run November 18th through December 27th. Tickets on sale now at virginia rep.org or by calling 804-282-2620.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet, like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone, and including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage, HMO, and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  What is up, my good dudes? This is Let's Talk About Myths, baby! And we are back again for another exciting adventure with Herodotus's Histories. Once again, it's me, Michaela, your devoted servant Hermes, here to expound about the wonders that are history. Yes, I know you all applauding, waiting expectantly for another quick jaunt through his many tangents. And I will take you all on this lovely adventure, but first, did you guys know that we, the Memory Collective, are doing a livestream this Saturday for International Podcast Day? Liv and I will be joining Christie, Colin, and Elijah of Movies We Dig, Jen and Jenny from Ancient History Fangirls, the wonderful Emma Polly, Peta of Partial Historians, and oh, others, oh my god, others, to do many exciting things.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  It will start at 9:00 AM Pacific Standard Time, pray for me, please, 11:00 AM Central, 12:00 PM Eastern, and 2:00 AM Australian. Sorry, Australians. We would absolutely love any of you to join us, and if you have any questions, we are doing some Q&As. I'll attach the link in the description, but you can also go to our Instagrams, where it should be linked as well. Myth Baby is the one you all know, but Collective Mem is the new one for the entirety of the collective that we are slowly working on. Okay, enough of those formalities. Let's get into this shit. For a brief recap of everything that we have already seen. Right, so first, there was a bunch of women seizing, because this is still ancient Greece we are talking about. That's what started the drama between Greece and Asia.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  And then there was Croesus and his family's whole drama. That was a bunch of insanity. There was also some tangent in there about Arian and a dolphin, and was that really necessary? The answer is no, but still, fun. Okay then, Croesus's son died and he got hella depressed, which is, you know, fair. And then he felt he could take on Persia. After that, there were a ton of things to do with prophecies which will in no way show up again because why would that happen? What are you thinking? Anyways, he gave lots of money to Delphi, he took on Persia, he lost, he got a shit kicked in by Cyrus, who we don't actually know a whole lot about interestingly, but whatever, that's life at the end of the day. Maybe we'll find out more about him today. Who can say?

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Definitely not me, who has read all of this already and is writing this all out to tell you about it. No, not at all.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  The definitely real, totally accurate story of Cyrus. Herodotus, The Histories, Book One, Part Three.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  So, Sardis has fallen to Cyrus. Croesus, in all his confidence that he could take down a mighty empire, had in fact done that. But not the empire, he thought, his own. The prophecy was true, as they always are, and in not the way that he thought, which is usually the way things go with prophecies as well. Herodotus tells us that he fell on the fourteenth year of his reign, on the fourteenth day of the siege, just as the prophecies say, and correct me if I'm wrong, but this fourteen number, I just don't remember it. Whatever, fourteen. Okay, whatever, he has fallen into the hands of Cyrus now. Croesus has been defeated. Cyrus

• 5:48Speaker 03

  had a great pyre made with fourteen children of the highest members of Lydian society. Human sacrifices? Yay! Human sacrifice. We rarely get mentions of those in Greek history. And as Croesus stood up on that pyre, baffled by the fact that he was up there, a memory popped into his mind, and he chuckled, and started muttering to himself, "So long, so long, so long." Cyrus, from wherever he was, goes, "What? What did he just say?" And ordered an interpreter to go figure out whatever the hell was going on. "What are you saying?" Says the interpreter to Croesus, who apparently has decided that that's it, and he doesn't want to say anymore. "Mm-hmm," he mutters, tight-lipped. But the interpreter just keeps asking, and so does Cyrus. "What are you even saying, dude?"

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Says Cyrus and the interpreter. This goes on for a bit. I assume. I'm guessing. It doesn't say that. But you know what? I really just want to imagine, want to just imagine a man with like fourteen teens on a pyre shaking his head no as a bunch of other men standing at the base just yelling, "What did you say?" Up at them. I like that imagery. Finally, Croesus gives in. "The most wonderful man that you ever would meet. Everyone should meet Solon. He knows many wise things that we should all be aware of." The fire had started to make its way up the pyre, and time was of the essence, but the conversation continued on. "Who is this Solon?" Asked the Persians. "He is a wise Athenian man who came to my court.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  His wisdom was not made just for me, but it is pertinent to everyone in the world. Everyone should spend some time with him, so that they all can benefit from his advice." He's finally learned the lesson Solon was trying to teach him, it seems. Finally. A little late, but whatever. Croesus continues telling Cyrus about what Solon taught him. That wealth means nothing in the end, that it can be taken away as quickly as it's gained. And this softened Cyrus's heart, because he too was a wealthy man, who was similar to Croesus, and they weren't so different after all. And then he realizes what he is doing. He's burning a man and fourteen teens alive, because, why? Because, because he could, and to make a point, but a moot point. So, he then orders his men to put the fire out.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  Yet at this point, the fire was burning too fiercely, too wildly, and they were struggling to get it under control. It was too late. Croesus and the Lydian teens would be eaten up by the fire in no time, and that would be that. Cyrus's men were running around desperately trying to get the fire under control, and nothing was working. Croesus sees what is happening and realizes that Cyrus has changed his mind. He lifts his head to the sky and calls to Apollo. "Apollo! If I have ever given you an offering that has made you happy, that has pleased you, please, please help me now and save me from these flames." Immediately, the weather turns.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  Clouds rush in and a torrent of rain falls down, putting out the fire licking at Croesus's feet. Cyrus looks to the sky and realizes that if the gods are this much on Croesus's side, enough that they would save him when he calls for it, then he must be an actual good man. He has him released. And the teens, I think, but Herodotus doesn't really mention them anymore. Guess they weren't that important in the end. As Croesus walks up to him, Cyrus looks at him and says, "Who persuaded you to invade me, to provoke me and my people?" "No one but myself," Croesus replies. "I was encouraged by the Greek gods who answered my questions, and I guess that means that it's the gods' fault in the end."

• 9:22Speaker 03

  That's a pretty bold thing to say, given that that same god just saved you from a certain fiery death, but I digress. Blame Apollo. It's easy. Also, interestingly, I mean, this is just my little brain running, but blaming a Greek god but by blaming a Greek god, he is also inadvertently blaming the Greeks, thus planting the seed in Cyrus's head to worry about them. Which is interesting. Cyrus found all that Croesus had to say very interesting, and he was so stunned by his "wisdom," heavy air quotes there, that he ordered he be released from his shackles, invited him to sit by his side. Croesus has saved himself from death by being a suck-ass, but whatever, I guess that's better for him than death.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Not for me. I'd go down swinging if I was ever presented the opportunity. Croesus then gives Cyrus some advice. "Hey, man, you know, your people, the Persians, well, they are prone to violence." That's in the text, like, you know, that wasn't me, anyways, whatever. And they are naturally so very poor. Also, in the text, but whatever. Sardis is yours now. So, they're plundering a city that used to be mine, but what they're actually doing right now is plundering your city, and he should probably put an end to that. Cyrus was impressed by this and ordered that the Persian soldiers be stopped from plundering Sardis.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  "You are so wise, Chrysus," says Cyrus. "What do you want? For your troubles?" "All I would like," Chrysus replies, "is to send these chains to the Greek god that put me in this position and ask him if he usually screws over those who give him so much wealth." If you're chill with that, passive aggressive much, Cyrus says, "Go for it, dude." And a delegation goes off to Delphi to lay the chains at the temple. The delegation gets there, drops the chain at the steps of the temple and walks back flipping off the Pythia. Maybe. That's how I imagine it happened. And as they're walking away, she says, "Hey, hey! Fuck you two. No one can stop fate. Remember his great, great, grand, great grandpa?

• 11:32Speaker 03

  Giggies? Remember that oracle?" Yeah. Yeah, this was preordained, bitch. Actually, Chrysus wasn't supposed to be the one this happened to. That was supposed to be his son, Attis, because Apollo tried, but y'all messed that up, so I guess Chrysus can go suck it, because fate. She sticks her tongue out at them as they leave, probably. Okay, all that flavor was mine, but the message is there. Sardis was supposed to fall from Giggus's line in the fifth generation. And that was Chrysus, so that's just the way the cookie crumbles on occasion. The delegation returns to Chrysus and tells him what the Pythia said, that he had misinterpreted the oracles and that fate is fate. And he just nods and goes, "Yep, that's fair. Guess the god isn't to blame after all."

• 12:17Speaker 03

  Well, we're done with Chrysus. No, um, we're not actually, but we are done with Chrysus for the rest of this episode because like, he's not the subject of Herodotus's next tangent. We are moving on, folks. To what? Perhaps to what happens after Sardis falls? The Histories is about the Persian Wars after all, so like, eventually Cyrus has to get into Greece and mess around there a bit, right? The next logical step would be to follow the Persians into Greece. But Herodotus never takes the path well traveled. He doesn't even take the path least traveled. He walks off into the wilderness armed with nothing but an old rusty pocket knife and makes his own path. So we are going back in time, folks. To before Cyrus came into the picture.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  I will say, if you want to peruse it, chapters ninety-three and ninety-four are actually pretty interesting in their own right. They mostly look at places of note in Lydia as well as Lydian customs. I read the first bit of chapter ninety-four to my mother, um, because it was just wild. So it says, uh, the habit of sending their daughters out to work as prostitutes accepted. Lydians lived their lives in a way not dissimilar to the Greeks. She was, she willed her eyes at this and then my cousin said something along the lines of, it's interesting that I find that interesting. Uh, my mother laughed. I was there laying on the floor reading because you know, that's where I like to read and just stared at them and how dare they mark, mark my interests. Regardless, interesting chapters about Lydian land and customs.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  But back on to Cyrus. You know what? Learning some backstory about Cyrus isn't, actually isn't too bad. We, we do need some backstory and he is incredibly important for the narrative and histories. It's kind of a big deal, what with being the king of Persia. So I guess let's start with his birth. Just kidding. Of course, we're not gonna start with Cyrus's birth. That would be crazy if Herodotus to like, get to the point. No, we start much earlier. Herodotus tells us that he found four different accounts of how Persia got dominance over Asia. But he is choosing the following account that the Persians find the most accurate. Because the Persians like facts. He starts with saying that for five hundred and twenty years, Asia was ruled by the Assyrians until a revolt.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  The first to revolt was the Medes, who I guess were done with that shit. So they fought the Assyrians and got their independence. After this, other peoples revolted and got their independence. Assyria was no longer ruling. We're going to stick with the Medes. They were an interesting characters in this story. Well, while the Medes got independence, they still lived relatively simple lives in small villages. In one of these villages was a man by the name of Deokis, who had a good reputation in his own little town, so much so that his people came together and elected him as their judge. He took the job and he did it fantastically, so much so that other villages started hearing about him, and they all came to bring their cases to his judgment.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  He was a fair judge. As the days went by, his reputation grew and grew amongst the Medes, and he grew so busy that one day he said, "You know what? I don't want to do this anymore. I'm taking care of all of you so much that I'm neglecting my own life, and that just cannot do." He stepped down. Crime got worse because Deokis was no longer around to dole out judgment. And finally, the Medes met in an assembly to discuss the situation. The conclusion was that they must choose a king, a man to rule over them and dispense judgment. You can guess where this is going, right? They elected Deokis, which like, super sucks, cuz it sounded like the guy just retired and then his entire community was like,

• 15:50Speaker 03

  "Guess what? No, no, no. You don't get to do that. You better work, bitch." Great. Now, there was a king. And then he had a castle built, and then he had a bodyguard made, and then he got the people to build a great city as their capital. It was called Abgetana. After the city and palace was built, Deokis made a new rule. No one was allowed in his presence anymore. If they wanted to communicate with him, they would give their information to an intermediary, who would bring it to him, and he would decide on it, then send it back, which is,

• 16:25Speaker 03

  you know, pop off, king. I would do that if I could. I'd make anyone go through my mother because she could read out the nonsense. There's not much more about Deokis. He was a good dude who was tired of being the guy everyone came for for help. Yet he ruled for fifty-three years and then died, succeeded by his son, Freortes. Freirtis is the one who established the Medean army because he wanted to feel strong. Neat. He then sent out into Asia to conquer territory until he got to Nineveh, where some Assyrians were. He found them, and then he promptly got murdered because apparently the Assyrians were still strong enough to deal with this guy. Freirtis was succeeded by his son, Caiaxares. Okay, great. So what did Caiaxares do?

• 17:09Speaker 03

  Well, he also liked to go around swooping up land. Think this is a trait of men. They like to grab land. Land snatchers, woman snatchers. There's a lot of snatching at the hands, man hampering in here. Great. So Caiaxares first goes to Nineveh, and apparently the Assyrians aren't strong enough to tackle him, so he manages to take them out. But then, then, the Scythians come out of nowhere and fucked up the Medes real good. Is it obvious how much I'm paraphrasing here? It goes on for pages. There's so much fighting and bullshit. We haven't even gotten to Cyrus, and I promise we do. Okay, so the Scythians then decide to head down to Egypt. They make their way down there through the region of... Oh, wait, wait, wait.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go check the Greek, just so I can get this correct. Caepepe, egononto, anti-Palestine Syria. And they came into the region in Syria called Palestine. Oh, oh, that's exactly what I thought it did, Palestine. Isn't it interesting to see that the name for that region has existed since at least, hmm, the Greek sources that we have about the 5th century B.C.? Long established, some could say. I'm not gonna go on too long of a rant here, but I'm just gonna drop this because I'm tired of certain rhetoric that makes bullshit claims based on modern motivations. The region of Palestine has always existed. The people have always existed. The Near East has always been home to many different kinds of people.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  And the belief that only one should have power or rule there is bullshit and comes simply from goddamn Western greed. It's stupid, and I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of religion being used to justify genocide. And I have something to say about that. I have my own personal feelings about that, given my people's history. So, free Palestine, alethereas in Palestini, and stop with the genocidal bullshit.

• 19:21Speaker 01

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• 19:51Speaker 02

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• 21:06Speaker 03

  Great. So, uh, the Scythians. They meet the Egyptian king in Palestine. He convinces them to fuck off and they backtrack. Okay, this goes on for a while. Read chapter 105 if you're interested, but frankly, there's still so much to get through in so little time. So we're gonna power on through, okay? Scythians have power for twenty-eight years. Caiachseris and the Medes hold a feast for the Scythians and strike them down when they're drunk. Back to the Medes and we move on from Caiachseris to his son Astyagis. Now, Astyagis had a daughter named Mandane. He had a dream one night that she was urinating on the city and created such a flood that it washed away all of Asia. Fascinating.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  He called his dream oracles, they interpreted it in a terrifying way which Herodotus will not tell us. Okay, great, thanks. Anyways, he decides this means that she cannot marry a Mede. And instead it marries her off to a Persian, a high-standing one by the name of Cambyses. This is giving me crazy, crazy Thetis vibes, but why would history reflect myth or myth reflect history? That's wild. We've never seen this before with Herodotus. Anyways, Astyagis has another dream where a vine crawls forth from Mandane's vagina and casts a whole shadow over Asia. This man has weird dreams about his daughter, like, what is happening? Dream interpreters again, no indication to what they say, and he decides to send her off until she gives birth

• 22:35Speaker 03

  because she was pregnant, you know? And then, once the child is born, to have it put to death. And that? That is when Cyrus is born.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  With this task of grandchild killing, he trusts only to his most loyal of servants, a man by the name of Harpagus. He brings Harpagus to him, tells him what must happen, and immediately places the newborn Cyrus in his hands. Harpagus cannot do this himself. This is murder. Murder is a big deal and, you know, like, that can't be done. Also, Astyagis has no male heir, and that would be bad if he was to die and have no male heir. So like, probably shouldn't kill this male child? But yet, if the child doesn't die... He'll have Harpagus killed. Harpagus is torn. He knows he must follow his king's orders, but he also knows that he cannot be the one who does the murder itself.

• 23:29Speaker 03

  So what does he do? But he calls one of the king's cowherds to him, a shepherd by the name of Mithridates. Mithridates arrives and Harpagus lays it all out. Hey, our king wants this baby dead. And he is our king, so you know, we must follow his orders. This baby must die. Our king Astiagis says, order that you take this child to the mountainside and leave him there to expose him. Oh, so he's, he's really serious about this. Like, if you don't do this, a terrible death will fall upon you. I don't remember Astiagis saying this, but whatever, it moves the narrative on. Mithridates takes the child and heads home with him. He goes home because you see his wife just so happened to be heavily pregnant and about to give birth any minute now.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  He gets home, shell shocked, at what he has been asked to do, and his wife looks at him. What did Harpagus ask of you? She says. He tells her everything and tells her that he does not know who the baby is, but that the baby was laid amongst much splendor when he first saw him. Surely, this isn't the child of some chambermaid or, or female slave within the castle. But as he was leaving, the attendant who brought him to the castle did say that this was Mandane's child, Cyrus, which, you know, it's a big hint, but whatever. The king wants his grandson killed, and Mithridates is tasked with it. He showed his wife the infant Cyrus, and they were both stunned with how healthy and strong the child looked. There was nothing wrong with this baby, and the woman was heartbroken that such a thing was to happen.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  She fell to her knees, grasped her husband's legs, and said, how can we do this? Don't expose this child. Mithridates couldn't see any other option. Either the baby dies, or he dies. This is what must happen. But she comes up with an idea, for you see, she had actually already just given birth while he was out of the house. And that child, that child was a stillborn. She says to her husband, take our child, take our child and tell them that you expose this baby and that it's dead. And we will keep this baby and raise him as our own. That way, this perfectly healthy baby will not need to die. On our son, our son will be given a royal burial. Mithaddeus feels that this was the best possible plan, so he puts it in action.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  And they believe him. Cyrus then doesn't die, but is instead adopted by Mithaddeus and his wife and grows up among them. When he was ten, a very interesting thing happened. Because of course it did, like honestly, none of us are going to be surprised by what is about to happen. The thing that happens here are so similar to myth, it's hard to say whether life imitates art or art imitates life. And I might be using that line, who knows, but whatever. You see, a bunch of the local boys decided to play a game. They wanted to employ a make-believe king and then the boy would, I don't know, order them around. An imaginary game. I mean, we all played games like these as children. I remember at the the after-school center I went to when I was younger, we played something called Tiny Town.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Where we each decided what we wanted to be in this fictional imaginary town. I always wanted to run the local bar. Because I guess that was the kind of kid I was. It's like that, but you know, with a king. Um, they thought it would be so funny if they had Cyrus be the king since he was just the lonely son of a shepherd. Ah, make the poor kid the king, that will be funny. Well, Cyrus takes this new job very seriously and sets up the rest of the kids as various things within his kingdom. One is a spy, another is captain of the guard, etc., etc. Well, one of the boys, Artembaris, who is the son of an important mead in court, decided that he would not actually follow the orders of the make-believe king Cyrus. Who was, you know, actually the son of a shepherd.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  So they thought, so what did Cyrus do? Well, he had Artembaris arrested, air quotes, and then gave him the weapon of a lifetime. No air quotes, he did that, which is wild, but you know, children. That boy was very upset, so he ran off to his father, who then brought this issue to the actual Kim, which, which seems like an escalation, but whatever, who am I?

• 27:36Speaker 03

  Cyrus was then brought to the court of Astyagis, and as he stares the boar, he starts to think, wow, this boar looks a lot like me. We could even be related. That's wild. He then asks young Cyrus to explain himself, and Cyrus tells him the entire make-believe game. He explained it so well that Astyagis couldn't help but think, well, he doesn't sound like the child of his slave. Astyagis' mind was whirling. The boy looked like him, sounded like him, and well, it had been about ten years since his daughter gave birth. Time to figure this out. He calls Harpagus in, who tells him about how he went to the shepherd Mithudaddis. He calls Mithudaddisin, and the whole story unravels.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  Interestingly, Astyagis wasn't actually that bothered, um, but he was bothered that Harpagus lied to him. Which is a stretch. It sounds more like Harpagus was lied to by Mithudaddis, but I do suppose that he did want Harpagus to do the child-killing himself, so. There we go. Harpagus must be punished, and Astyagis needs to figure that out. He decides to hold a feast to the gods so that they can be thanked for his grandson surviving. He invites Harpagus. Harpagus agrees and heads home to tell his wife about how he survived the revealing of the truth. He sends his only son off to Astyagis and tells him to do whatever the king says. Do you guys know where this is going? I think you can guess. Well.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  The feast comes along and everyone is sitting down, ready to eat. They're scarfing down their food, happily filling themselves on the wealth of the Median king. Wealth? Wealth. I can speak. Anyways. And at the end, Astyagis asks Harpagus if he enjoyed his meal. He said he had. Astyagis said, "Up yourself to whatever you want." And at that, his servants came forward with a cooking pot, which Harpagus opens. Inside is his son's head and hands. Harpagus doesn't react, not even a cry. He looks down at his plate and realizes what the meat was that he just ate. It was his son. Astyagis had served him, and only him, his own son.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  He took what was left of his son and left to bury the scraps. Next, he turns himself to Cyrus. He talks to his magi. My god. Next, Astyagus turns himself to Cyrus and he talks to the magi, the dream interpreters, who remind him about the dreams. "Do I still need to worry about the child?" he asks, and they say, "Nah, I don't think so." Especially because the Boer has already ruled as king, albeit in a make-believe way. I think he's actually good. He accepts this and sends Cyrus off to Persia, where he will certainly prosper and be with his biological parents. That possibly can't go poorly for him at all. Cyrus grows up loved by the Persian people. He becomes strong and wise as time goes on.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  Harpagus starts sending him gifts. He wants to get close to the Boer, to win his trust. Because if the Boer grows to be more liked, to be more powerful than his grandfather, well then maybe Harpagus can help him overthrow Astyagus and get his own sort of revenge. As Cyrus ages, Harpagus holds meetings with the other important Median men, planting the seed that Astyagus isn't actually that great, and in fact, it would be much better to support Cyrus and install him on the throne. When all are in agreement, he gets a hair, carefully cuts it open, and deposits a message inside. He sends a messenger disguised as a hunter off to Persia to Cyrus. The message reads, "Cyrus, son of Cambyses, you should get revenge on your would-be killer.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  Your grandfather, he, he wanted you dead, and it's only because of the gods that, that you live. Inspire the Persians to revolt. March against the Medes. We want you to rule, instead of your grandfather." Cyrus gathers all the Persians up. He's down for this idea because, I don't know, power? I'm actually not totally sure, but that could be because it's 6pm, I've been sick all day, and my brain is turning to mush, yet I am a stubborn bitch, and want you guys to have the next part of this, so I'm doing it. You can't stop me, because it's also already done and you're listening to it. Anyways, he gets all the Persians together and whips them into a fury. "You Persians, grab your skies."

• 32:00Speaker 03

  So the crowd went and grabbed their sides, and nearby there was a piece of land overgrown with wilderness everywhere. He ordered them to clear it, to make it usable. And they did this in a single day. I should say it was quite a large piece of land. This was impressive. Anyways, Cyrus then sets up a big feast for them. They slaughter animals for sacrifice and for food, and he gets them many, many, many barrels of wine and gives it to the men. He really, really spoils them all. "Do you want to keep living like this? Or do you want to go back to living with nothing?" he asked them. They answered, "They want to keep living well, to keep feasting. They don't want to live under anyone else's thumb."

• 32:41Speaker 03

  "Then follow me, and we shall revolt against those that hold us back, those that would have us to be slaves to them." And off they go, to take on the Medes. Astyagus here was, here's what was happening, heard that the Persians under Cyrus were on their way to revolt. He sends a man off with a message, "Come here right now, young man." To which Cyrus responds, "I will be with you." That's pedal as fuck, honestly. Anyways, Astyagus has an army assembled under the leadership of Harpagus. That can't be a good move, but whatever. They all march off to meet the incoming Persians. When they meet, you can guess what happened. There was something of a fight, but mostly the Medes under Harpagus changed to Cyrus's side and then continued on.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  They reached the city and with only boys and old men left in it to defend it, they quickly got it for themselves. The reign was as, the reign of Astyagus was over. He was taken captive. And Harpagus came up to him, "How does it feel now, bitch?" he asks, having finally gotten his revenge for what Astyagus has done to him and to his son. And Astyagus has realized what happened. "You fool," he says back, "You have simply handed the throne to another, and that's it." That's the end of the Medean Empire. They ruled for a hundred and twenty-eight years, not including the brief time with the Scythians, and now the Medes were under suppression from the Persians.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  Cyrus didn't have Astyagus put to death, but instead he basically had him under house arrest in Persian court until he died of natural causes or, I don't know, poisoning, who knows? That's not what important. Anyways, now the rule of Asia was under the reign of Cyrus.

• 34:36Speaker 03

  And that's the story of Cyrus up to the point we were at earlier. Aren't you happy that we got the backstory? Wasn't it so incredibly important to have all of that so that you could know what is going to happen next? Okay, actually, to be fair, it is really interesting history. And there is a lot of stuff there for people who study the Near East. There, you know, obviously, there's bits of it that aren't true and or are exaggerated, but we know how to piece those out. The next little bit of Herodotus is truly interesting and really dives into Persian culture. But unfortunately, due to time, I cannot include it in this series. I invite you all to give it a read, though, you know, homework, yay. It's chapters 131 through 140 of Book One.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  And it's really about like Persian culture, Persian beliefs from the Greek point of view. Yes, obviously, but you know, still interesting. Sorry, I can't cover it here, but really, there's so much, it's hard to make it all fit. Can you believe that I intended to do the first book in only three episodes? That's not happening, obviously. So come back next week for the finale of Book One of Herodotus's Histories. And I cannot wait to share it with you all. Let's talk about Myths Baby is written and produced by the wonderful and exuberant Liv Albert. Michaela Pangarish is the Hermes to all your Olympians. Feels weird reading that out, but whatevs, the producer and I don't know, other things.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Select music by Luke Chaos, thank you, Mr. Chaos. The podcast is part of the Memory Collective Podcast Network, a new and exciting place where we strive to bring you the most accurate and reliable history that we possibly can. Good to mention again, but we are doing a live stream for International Podcast Day this weekend, September 27th, 9 a.m. Pacific, 11 Central, 12 Eastern and 2 a.m. Australia. Once again, sorry, Australia. Get ad free episodes and so much more by subscribing to the Oracle Edition on Patreon at patreon.com/MythsBaby or via the link

• 36:39Speaker 03

  In the episode's description. Did you know that if you join our Patreon, you can join our Discord channel and spam Liv and I with all your pet photos? And questions. Questions can be asked too, but who doesn't want a dedicated place just for pet photos? Sometimes Crow graces the page. Sometimes. Thank you all for joining us this beautiful Tuesday, and I can't wait to share the last little bit of chaos of the first book of Herodotus Histories next week. Bye-bye.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  This December, the magic of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol returns to Virginia Repertory Theater in downtown Richmond. Experience the transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge as he's visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, and rediscovers the joy and true meaning of the holiday season. Performances run November 18th through December 27th. Tickets on sale now at virginiarep.org or by calling 804-282-2620.

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