Ask, Tell, Confess: The Dudes Write In

Wow. The guys went all in on this week's Ask, Tell, Confess. One dude fakes self-pleasure to cover for his friend, another ends up showering with his own turds to clear a clogged toilet, and someone turns a Vegas casino floor into a public urinal. Bunnie and the gals also tear into the so-called TikTok ban that lasted a whole night, and the confessions it dragged out. Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.com http://www.dumbblondeunrated.com

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bunnie XO?

  We use Shopify for our storefront at bunnyxo.com. And one thing I've learned from running an online store is that you definitely don't have to be an ecommerce expert to get started. I think a lot of people get intimidated by the website side of starting a business, but Shopify makes that part so much easier. One of my favorite things is having everything in one place when you're running a business. You already have a million things going on, so the last thing you want is for managing your storefront to be one more thing to stress about. Shopify makes it easy to get your store launched, manage it, and actually focus on selling. They also have pre-built themes and an AI site builder that can help you create a professional looking storefront without having to build a website from scratch. And if a friend asks me about starting a store before the holidays, I tell them, "Don't wait until Black Friday.

• 0:45Bunnie XO?

  Get it launched. Learn what works for you and have everything ready before that holiday traffic starts coming in." If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com/bunny to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com/B-U-N-N-I-E. Go to Shopify.com/bunny today to hear your first...

• 1:05Bunnie XO?

  Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know, why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show, we have Meet the Deportes, we have Popaganda, we have more shows that we're adding, and not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com/dumblonpodcast and sign up.

• 1:53Bunnie XO?

  Two, three.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Welcome to another episode of Ask Tell Confess.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  That was awful.

• 2:05Bunnie XO?

  That was, that was the worst intro yet.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  All right.

• 2:09Bunnie XO?

  Should we do it again?

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:10Bunnie XO?

  All right. Ready? One, two, three.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 2:16Bunnie XO?

  Hello.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Welcome back.

• 2:19Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 2:20Speaker 02

  What are we doing?

• 2:21Bunnie XO?

  I'm done.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  Welcome back to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess.

• 2:34Bunnie XO?

  Sup dogs?

• 2:37Bunnie XO?

  Feel like it's been forever since we've seen each other.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Been a minute, man.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Come here often?

• 2:45Bunnie XO?

  How's everybody doing? I want to just get home and see my fucking cow.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  I thought you were gonna say your dog.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  How are they doing? How are they doing in the cold?

• 2:53Bunnie XO?

  They're doing amazing.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're thriving, huh?

• 2:55Bunnie XO?

  We have a barn.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't know.

• 2:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we have a fucking barn for them. They will not go in the barn.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Really?

• 3:02Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  They love being outside. This week.

• 3:04Bunnie XO?

  The donkey did shiver a little bit today, which was the first time he shivered, so we gave him more hay.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Did you put a blanket on him?

• 3:11Bunnie XO?

  We can't get near him to put a fucking blanket on him. Would you like to help us? We can go to my house after this.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Let's do it.

• 3:18Bunnie XO?

  And you can help wrangle him.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:20Bunnie XO?

  Cause he is a buck.

• 3:23Bunnie XO?

  And I am not going in that pen with these fucking shoes on. I gotta change my shoes.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  I'm not going with these on.

• 3:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I think I'm an animal.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 3:36Bunnie XO?

  But yeah, how's Pablo Escobar?

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Pablo Escobar is doing great. He's thriving.

• 3:41Bunnie XO?

  Dude, the video you sent me the other day of him. Haley, did she send it to you?

• 3:46Speaker 02

  No, I just sent it to you.

• 3:48Bunnie XO?

  He's like, this is like.

• 3:51Bunnie XO?

  Literally.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  He's a mean cowboy.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  He literally, if you open the door this much too far, he goes.

• 4:01Bunnie XO?

  He's great.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:05Bunnie XO?

  He's great.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  Come in now?

• 4:06Speaker 02

  I come and do that out now?

• 4:08Bunnie XO?

  No, he's so good. He has the best personality.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  He broke my chicken coop.

• 4:12Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  So if you put little things that they can scratch themselves on, they get really excited. So have Blake install some, some like ends of brooms, cause he loves our broom. And I let him out, you know, free roam the property. And he found the chicken coop and realized he could itch himself, tore the whole roof off.

• 4:30Bunnie XO?

  Oh shit.

• 4:33Bunnie XO?

  He's just a fucking bull in a china shop, dude.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  He literally is. Someone was like, is that a fucking buffalo? I was like, no.

• 4:39Bunnie XO?

  So we're fencing in a really big side of the, of our acreage for them. And by like next week, they'll be over there. So they're gonna move over there.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Oh, how are you gonna move them?

• 4:51Bunnie XO?

  We're gonna just walk them straight over there. Uh, Smore is easy. He's so attached to Crunch that wherever Crunch goes, he'll go. Crunch has a little buck in his bronc, but I, he's really sweet. He really is. Like, so he'll move easy. Now the donkey, that's another fucking, we'll have to prance his ass over there.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Have you tried with treats?

• 5:08Bunnie XO?

  With the donkey?

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:10Bunnie XO?

  Oh, he don't give a fuck.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Fun fact.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Really?

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Give him graham crackers and it's like fucking crack.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  That's what everyone said, something about animal crackers.

• 5:18Bunnie XO?

  Bro, no. Mini wheats.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, we gave them, like, we have these graham crackers when we have to put them in his, like, run at night.

• 5:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  And last night, we got out a little too late. We tried to do it before sundown because he gets really emotional. So Jason was like, fuck, we got home late. So he like runs out and he gets the graham crackers while he heard the package. And he started chasing Jason. And Jason said, I got a little scared.

• 5:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  And so he's, Jason's running to the pin and here comes fucking buffalo.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  We need this on video.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  I gotta check my security camera. It might be on there.

• 5:54Bunnie XO?

  Dude, oh my God, put that on TikTok. I bet that's fucking hilarious.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Terrified.

• 6:00Bunnie XO?

  Cause he's big. He's not like Crunch. He's like double the size of Crunch.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  He literally opens the packages and starts throwing crackers.

• 6:09Bunnie XO?

  Shop.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  You guys, it's great.

• 6:11Bunnie XO?

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• 6:53Bunnie XO?

  Head to chime.com/bunny. That's chime.com/bunny. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 7:13Bunnie XO?

  Today's episode is brought to you by Vinted. Y'all know how it goes. You open your closet and have a million things hanging up, but somehow still feel like you have nothing to wear. That's me. And let's be real, half that stuff hasn't been touched in forever. Instead of letting all those clothes just sit there taking up space, you might as well make a little money off of them. If you haven't used it yet, Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app that makes it so simple to sell the quality clothes you no longer wear and discover unique pieces at great prices. And the best part, you don't have to make a whole project out of selling your clothes. Listing your clothes on Vinted is quick and simple, and once something sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you, so you don't have to worry about that part. Best of all, there are no

• 7:57Bunnie XO?

  seller fees, which means you actually keep every single dollar you earn from your sales. So instead of letting all those clothes collect dust, Vinted gives you a way to clear out some space, make a little extra money, and maybe even find something new to love. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn.

• 8:20Bunnie XO?

  Love to do it. All right, well, I guess I will kick it off this week.

• 8:25Bunnie XO?

  Not sure which one to do because I got some real good ones.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, good doozy.

• 8:28Bunnie XO?

  My friend was sleeping over at my house. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching TV, playing video games and shit. At around 1 a.m., he asks if this girl can come over. He really wants to get with this girl and I don't want to turn him down, so I reluctantly agree on the condition that she's quiet. The three of us are hanging out and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend. He's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken my parents.

• 9:12Bunnie XO?

  The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend fucking this girl in our basement. What do I do? I go straight to Pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that shit up to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the three minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise. I even threw in some thapping motions under the covers and opened my door and awkwardly left. My buddy ended up having the best fucking time ever, bro, but Jesus, there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  What a G though, that you would do that for your homie.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  I wouldn't.

• 9:53Bunnie XO?

  What a homie though. Like if I had a friend who did that for me, like we'd be homies for life.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Literally. You wouldn't do that for your homie?

• 10:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  What kind of friend are you?

• 10:05Bunnie XO?

  I mean, we've already, you know, we already know Haley's not wired like that.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  No. Then I gotta deal with the awkwardness for the rest of it.

• 10:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, she's not going turn to turn with her mom.

• 10:17Bunnie XO?

  She's showed you porns of herself.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  She turns on, no, when she goes to like twiddle the twack in the hotel rooms.

• 10:23Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  She has the sink on, the shower on. She's probably got like some type of music going.

• 10:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. No, Haley's whole fricking whack off hour.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  All right, guys, remember grandma.

• 10:36Bunnie XO?

  Is crazy. Well, like grandma's never whacked off before.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  No, your grandma has twiddled the twacker at least a couple of times.

• 10:43Bunnie XO?

  Literally, she, it takes Haley forever to find a porn and it has to be eighties. It has to be like eighties vintage porn and fucking, it has, she literally has to have the shower on. You'll get here a couple of toilet flushes.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Oh, it's a, it's an experience.

• 10:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, like she's away at the spa.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, literally. Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's away at the spa. Nice.

• 11:07Bunnie XO?

  All right, what you got for us?

• 11:08Speaker 01

  All right, um, this lady said, um, she said to keep my name anonymous, but I work in a casino and I remember one time there's this guy who had been sitting at a machine for so long, he just couldn't hold it in anymore. I rounded the corner right into, right in time to see him stand up and immediately pull his wang out to pinch it shut and start bolting for the restroom a ways away. The pressure in his bladder must have been too much because it didn't stop the piss. In fact, the pinch just made it for smaller escape for said piss, giving it a lot more trajectory. As he was sprinting toward the bathroom, hissing ten plus feet in front of him, swaying side to side from the sprint.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  He must have gotten at least twenty to thirty machines in his many casino guests. It was insane. I don't know how I was so lucky to not have gotten pissed on.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  It's like when you put your finger over a hose.

• 12:03Bunnie XO?

  Well, he was probably like drunk or on drugs too and just zoned out on the.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Why have we not seen that in Vegas? I'd love to see that.

• 12:11Bunnie XO?

  No, you wouldn't. You want somebody pissing on you? You'll freak out.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  I see. Not, not get pissed on.

• 12:16Bunnie XO?

  I got pissed on. You'll see some weird shit.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  At the CMA Fest.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  You got pissed on?

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was in a crowd of people and this dude just opened his pants and he was this frat boy in a polo. And he had all his little buddies with him and me and this, he actually peed down the girl's leg that was next to me and was splashing off of her onto me. I tried to physically fight the man.

• 12:39Bunnie XO?

  I see.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  One of his little friends like just kind of engulfed him into the crowd and he was gone before you know it.

• 12:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I remember this. Mimi told me that. I would fucking find that dude. That's disgusting.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  That is the worst. Don't piss on people.

• 12:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  It's not okay.

• 12:57Bunnie XO?

  Nobody likes a little fucking pissy party. At all. I don't. I don't like it. It's disgusting. Keep your fucking bodily fluids to your fucking self. Shit pisses me off. If I don't want your bodily fluids on me, don't do it. I'll freak out. Just.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:16Bunnie XO?

  I will freak out. Okay.

• 13:21Bunnie XO?

  Fucking makes like.

• 13:26Bunnie XO?

  He's concerned. He's like, what are we doing?

• 13:28Speaker 02

  What is going on?

• 13:29Bunnie XO?

  He's like, mom, he's looking at me in my eyes. We all right? You all right? Crunchy?

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Oh, don't you start that.

• 13:37Bunnie XO?

  Hi Crunchy.

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Look, I'm looking up.

• 13:42Bunnie XO?

  He's because he's mad. I forgot to tell you guys. So did I tell you S'more? Chachi had his face pressed against the the gate like this, looking at the cows when I was talking to him. And S'more went down and was like, looked at him and then like went up to like, just kind of like sniff him a little bit and Chachi was like and just like bit and S'more was like, damn, homie. Like, it was so funny, though.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  He don't like him.

• 14:05Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. I'm gonna have to bring him in there to just.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 14:09Bunnie XO?

  The dude can't.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Let's do it today.

• 14:11Bunnie XO?

  The dude can't bite anybody. He's got an underbite.

• 14:15Bunnie XO?

  He's got an underbite. Like, it's not happening. There's no way that it's her. Can we just talk about something off the record really quick? How about all the people who thought that TikTok was going away and fucking confessed like real shit?

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm obsessed with these.

• 14:34Bunnie XO?

  Like, what in the hell? Like, but they confessed like real shit. Like, how did you not think that TikTok was not coming back?

• 14:41Speaker 02

  I'm blown away.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  At least ours was a joke.

• 14:45Bunnie XO?

  I mean.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  Some people took it serious.

• 14:47Bunnie XO?

  I don't know.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  There was a lot of.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Crying right now. No, I went on like a wormhole and someone made a whole collage of confesses. And who they were and what the confession was.

• 15:15Bunnie XO?

  People have too much time.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  The fitness people confessing they had BBLs.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  What?

• 15:20Speaker 01

  There's a couple of that.

• 15:21Bunnie XO?

  I didn't make it on that side of TikTok.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm definitely not on fitness.

• 15:24Bunnie XO?

  Why do people have to confess they have a BBL? Like, just fucking be honest from the gate, you know?

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 15:29Bunnie XO?

  So weird to me.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Oh, I.

• 15:31Bunnie XO?

  People who like keep secrets like that, I don't ever want to be friends with. That's fucking weird. If you present yourself to the world as like, even like if you're like a fitness trainer and you really have a BBL, go fuck yourself. Like, you're, it's false advertising.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Exactly. I really feel like that's false advertising.

• 15:48Bunnie XO?

  That's why I'm so honest with everybody. I'm like, yes, I've had work done. It was fucking almost a decade ago now, you know? Did it help? Absolutely. Did, do I have to keep it up every fucking week? Yes. But at least people can decide for themselves if they want to fucking listen to me or not, you know?

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Exactly. You're not hiding it.

• 16:05Bunnie XO?

  It's not misleading, but you know, what about the people who like were advertising like shit to be sold and they're like, I didn't really use these.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:13Bunnie XO?

  It's just crazy.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  One of my favorite content creators, she makes like those like cool ice, like things and ice molds and they're so pretty and whatever. She was like, I never even ate any of the ice or used any of the ice. And I was like, what?

• 16:29Speaker 02

  She just throws the ice away?

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, like it's like this big of a stack of like ice molds and they're all like fancy and stuff. It's like never, I never had any of the ice. And I was like.

• 16:41Bunnie XO?

  And that's like what her whole thing is.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Her whole stick of the ice.

• 16:44Bunnie XO?

  What do you do now?

• 16:45Speaker 01

  She had all her ice molds and it was like, hey, how y'all doing?

• 16:50Speaker 02

  That's a good one. That's a great one. That, that does suck. I, it, I mean, but it does give the transparency of how unreal social media is.

• 16:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  And I feel like that was a rude awakening. A lot of people need to realize.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Did y'all not think like, it was like, yeah, coming back? Like, we're gonna still see that video.

• 17:09Bunnie XO?

  It's crazy. And I feel, another thing is like, everybody was ganging up on what's her face, Michaela Noguera? And I never know how to pronounce her last name, but I get like.

• 17:21Bunnie XO?

  I get like them being frustrated with her for the past couple of weeks because she's been doing the sad fishing thing like even for me, I'm like, I'm totally empathic to people and I'm like, fuck, man, they're going through a hard time. But it was almost ingenuine because it was like she was just, she saw that she got so much attention from it. So it was like every other video started to become that. And it was like, you have to really kind of pick and choose when you're, you could be sad a couple of times, but you can't like the, the internet will-

• 17:48Speaker 01

  Well, and just not give any context.

• 17:50Bunnie XO?

  Right. Not give any context, but also the internet will let you be sad once or twice. And then after that, they're going to be like, what the fuck is wrong with this chick? You know?

• 17:57Speaker 02

  That's how it turned was like, it turned supportive to, okay, you know?

• 18:03Bunnie XO?

  Well, it's because she's not telling people like what's going on. It's like, I hate when people do that too.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Like when people ask for prayers on Facebook.

• 18:10Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. It's like, say what you're, you're fucking asking for. You don't have to tell the whole story. But just be like, hey, man, this is what's going on and I just, I'm needing help.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  When you do that also, you open up a ginormous window of assumptions.

• 18:23Bunnie XO?

  Of speculation.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Amount of people who are like saying, oh, it's, she's not wearing her wedding rings, but then like now she goes on a date with her husband. Like, why did you just all of a sudden stop wearing your wedding rings during this whole process? But then it's like, oh, but here's a date with my husband.

• 18:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. She, I don't agree with the tactics she uses. I think she tries to, I think she tries to create narratives for herself, but it just comes off the wrong way.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Do you think it's more of like, do you think like a PR team kind of thing?

• 18:56Bunnie XO?

  I don't think she has any fucking PR.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Really?

• 18:58Bunnie XO?

  No, I don't think she has any PR. I mean, we could look it up. I'm sure my publicist could find out if she has PR.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Give it into Google real quick.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  She might actually.

• 19:07Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. I don't, I don't think she has any PR. I think she's just, um, you know, old school, like just YouTube tactics, you know? I don't understand why she gets all the hate she gets though, you know?

• 19:23Bunnie XO?

  Like it's never made sense to me.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  I think because a lot of people don't buy it. They thought her accent was fake.

• 19:29Bunnie XO?

  She doesn't connect.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, that and they found old videos of when she didn't have that much of a forced accent.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  I don't see nothing.

• 19:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that would do you the video she made today, or I guess it would have been right before the ban.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  The compilation and there was a couple in there where she did not have that same accent.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it is.

• 19:51Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. I mean, I think she has the accent, but it's like with New Yorkers, you can turn it on and off. It's like with Bailey.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  I almost just said it.

• 20:00Bunnie XO?

  It's like with Bailey. She's a she has a southern accent, but boy, you put her in front of a cute boy and it's bra, bra, bra.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  It's like chewing on fucking peanut butter.

• 20:09Bunnie XO?

  Literally, you know, but so I think I think anybody with an accent can turn it on or off and exaggerate it. My husband can do it too. Jay can do it too. And he Jay is very southern in how he talks always. But I mean, like if he drinks or he gets excited about something, man, it is fucking honky tonk central.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  Do I have one?

• 20:26Bunnie XO?

  Literally, no.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Okay, cool.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 20:30Bunnie XO?

  Why would you think you have an accent?

• 20:33Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Do people from your area have accents?

• 20:37Speaker 01

  No, it's Midwest. I feel like there's no accent in the Midwest.

• 20:40Bunnie XO?

  No, I don't think so.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  There's certain words in the Midwest that have a little bit of an accent. I feel like the West Coast is the most like proper speaking when like.

• 20:47Bunnie XO?

  Or like Valley Girls.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a lot of likes and ums and like tellows and dudes and bros. Yeah, those kind of things.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure.

• 20:54Bunnie XO?

  For sure.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  I I feel like I think I looked at that one time. I feel like because in that area, you have so much TV and stuff and you can't have accents on TV. They've talked about how over the years, the whole West Coast doesn't have an accent while the rest of America and different dialects and shit does. Isn't that crazy?

• 21:13Bunnie XO?

  That is crazy.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  Hi, I'm Dr. Mary Claire Haver, board certified OB-GYN and menopause specialist. My podcast, UnPaused, is the place for bold, unfiltered conversations about what it really takes for women to thrive in the second half of life. Every week I sit down with medical experts and leading voices to talk about the health issues that matter most. Because UnPaused isn't just about the years you live, but how well you live them. Listen and follow UnPaused with me, Dr. Mary Claire Haver, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 21:45Bunnie XO?

  Anyways, I just thought that was funny. All these people making these fucking

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Goodbyes.

• 21:49Bunnie XO?

  Goodbyes. The big drama show. I told everybody, I was like, we're not going anywhere. There's no way the world is gonna lose out.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  We got gassed by TikTok.

• 21:58Bunnie XO?

  I think they switched servers. I think it is now an American owned company and they're not gonna tell you because they know that people will leave TikTok or have meltdowns and it'll be a shit show. So I think they had to shut down for 12 hours to switch over to American servers.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  I feel like my conspiracy theory I've heard was that they wanted to like give Trump recognition for bringing it back. That's why the message had his name in it and stuff was like.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  They could get the younger generation back on his side.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Yes, that's what I've seen.

• 22:28Bunnie XO?

  Political. I don't know. I don't know about all that. I think everything's a fucking just a play and we're the stars. Literally, I think everything is just a, I think the government is a sham. Okay?

• 22:40Speaker 02

  Smoke and mirrors.

• 22:41Bunnie XO?

  Smoke and mirrors, baby. There's always a fucking bigger, batter person. The president is just a puppet for what the really higher ups want.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  The amount of people that don't understand how the government works, you can tell did not pay attention in history class because they were like, this is all because of one person. And I'm like, what?

• 22:57Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Do you know how many levels it takes to even get to this person? And then once it's past that person, how many levels it takes? I was like, brothers, that's why we say government, not just one singular person. There's so many people that control this stuff.

• 23:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, for sure. But not to get political, let's get off the political soapbox.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, sorry. Okay, hold on. I got a, I got a voicemail.

• 23:18Bunnie XO?

  All right, let's go. Let's get back to having fun.

• 23:21Speaker 05

  I got one for you. All right. Listen here, listen here. Ready?

• 23:28Speaker 05

  Your sister's there.

• 23:34Bunnie XO?

  I love it. Was that one of our friends?

• 23:37Speaker 01

  It was Brayden.

• 23:37Bunnie XO?

  Oh, was it Brayden? That's hilarious.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  He said, hey, how you doing?

• 23:41Speaker 02

  How you doing? All right, this one.

• 23:44Bunnie XO?

  Hurry up, cause I got a really good story I could tell.

• 23:46Speaker 05

  And so a quick story, when I was 15.

• 23:50Bunnie XO?

  Hold on, what is up with all the dudes? We've had nothing but dudes.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  This is the first time we've had dudes coming in hot.

• 23:56Bunnie XO?

  I love it.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  One of them, recap, she was like, my husband watches Astell confess with me every week and he had one I wanna send in.

• 24:03Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  I'm like, dude, this is like, these couples are like bombing over these.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  At the bar, I had more guys come up than girls.

• 24:09Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Isn't that crazy?

• 24:11Bunnie XO?

  Weird. All right, go.

• 24:13Speaker 05

  How you doing? So, quick story. When I was fifteen, went over to my girlfriend's house and I just loved the act of just, you know, when they got a shower, they're nice and clean, and lean them over the bedside, you full gooch lick them ass all the way up, you know what I mean? All the way down. Anyhow, I did this, again, this one time she gets out, I lean her over, full gooch, full lick, I lick up shit. Literally just fucking gacking out shit on my tongue. The scene is embarrassing, and again, it happens when I'm twenty. This is five years now later. Boom, full gooch lick, ate up shit. And I guess the evidence is like, you know, we need to be using loofahs out there in the world. And using fucking proper body washing hygiene. So, it's it.

• 24:49Bunnie XO?

  I love how quick the dudes are, though. They get straight to the point. Yeah. I was licking ass, licked up doo doo.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  Can we talk about the fact that he did it twice?

• 24:58Bunnie XO?

  No, but five years later.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Five years later? No. He said, "We need loofahs."

• 25:05Bunnie XO?

  So he's just out here licking asses?

• 25:07Speaker 02

  He's just an ass licker.

• 25:09Bunnie XO?

  He said full gooch lick. He's asking for it. All right?

• 25:12Speaker 02

  I mean, I feel like that was getting your hand bit by, you know, feeding a dog kinda situation.

• 25:17Bunnie XO?

  I wanna know how many times he's had pink eye. Oh. Good question, right? Good question.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Jinx, you owe me a blowjob.

• 25:25Bunnie XO?

  I'm surprised you fucking weirdos aren't holding hands. Do you guys wanna hear this hilarious story, or should I save it for next week?

• 25:31Speaker 02

  Strong end, go.

• 25:32Bunnie XO?

  All right, it's kinda long. You guys ready?

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Give me the long one.

• 25:35Bunnie XO?

  Or hold on. Here we go. "I was once at a friend's house, took a shit in the toilet, clogging it like I have never clogged a toilet before. It was like trying to stuff two Idaho potatoes into a Gatorade bottle. Not gonna happen. Then, I still had to shit big time. I frantically tried to plunge the turd down the toilet to no avail. So I peeked my head out of the bathroom and yelled that I was going to shower real quick. I leave the two turds in the toilet, hoping that they will become waterlogged and squishy enough to get plunged. I hop in the shower and take another shit that I couldn't hold in. Yes, I shit on the floor of the tub. What came next was one of the most horrifying, unusual, and yet strangely satisfying experiences of my life.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 26:16Bunnie XO?

  I was scared to death about what to do, since there was no way I could put this thing into the toilet and try to flush it down. By the way, it smelled..." Way worse than when you shit into a toilet bowl. I guess being submerged takes that smell away. So I couldn't wrap it in a towel or anything. I was freaked out big time. There happened to be a wire coat hanger on the towel rack. So I took that and I began slicing up my turd on the floor of the shower into little pieces, bite sized, you could say, and then shoving them down the drain of the shower one by one. Occasionally, the water would back up a little bit, so I'd have to push the hanger down the drain to clear things up. For those that have never manhandled a turd, the consistency is bizarre. It's sort of grainy like girls exfoliating soaps, but it's also random firm pieces in the turd itself.

• 27:01Bunnie XO?

  Sort of like when you make brownies from the box and you get a lump of brownie mix that isn't meshed with the wet ingredients. After that was done, the toilet situation was still unresolved. So there I was, kneeled over my friend's toilet with a coat hanger, ham-fisting my turds back into the shower, slicing them into more manageable pieces so they could go down the drain.

• 27:22Bunnie XO?

  You guys know I've always got a million things going on and sometimes I wonder where my day even went. I was listening to Cal Newport talk about something called shallow work in his class on the MasterClass platform. Basically, constantly jumping from one thing to another makes it harder to focus, even when you think you're being productive. And let me tell you, that really hit home. It made me realize I need to be more intentional with my time. Plus, they have over 200 classes led by the world's best instructors. From Michael Lewis on storytelling to James Clear on building better habits. If you're looking to invest yourself or give a gift to that friend who's always eager to learn, this is something they'll use. Audio mode lets you listen during workouts or commutes and lessons are easily downloadable right now.

• 28:03Bunnie XO?

  Plans start at just $10 a month billed annually, backed by a 30-day money-back guarantee. MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there's never been a better time to get in. Right now, you can get up to 50% off any annual membership at masterclass.com/bunie. That's up to 50% off at masterclass.com/bunny. Head to masterclass.com/bunny to see the latest offer.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  I thought you were gonna say he waffle stomped them.

• 28:33Bunnie XO?

  By the end of the third turd, I was a master. I could slice it up like one of those Asian chefs.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  The poo chef.

• 28:39Bunnie XO?

  Then I, then I scrubbed my hands and the tub with antibacterial soap like never before. After all that, I pissed in the sink because at that point, why the fuck not?

• 28:50Speaker 02

  You just had to get the icing on the cake. You pissed in the sink?

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Just every hole in there.

• 28:54Bunnie XO?

  Just every fucking hole.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  I was not, I feel like this was the beginning of the poo chef.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  They, they need to meet.

• 29:04Bunnie XO?

  Who's the poo chef?

• 29:05Speaker 02

  When he had the knife?

• 29:06Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The turd trotter.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  Cut it up.

• 29:09Bunnie XO?

  Yep.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  Had to cut it up every time.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  They're cousins, same person, different font.

• 29:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  I wonder if they know each other.

• 29:14Bunnie XO?

  What's up with all the dudes writing in though? I love it.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  That was a guy?

• 29:18Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I think. I mean, I could not hear a woman talking like that.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  I.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  I know how we talk.

• 29:24Bunnie XO?

  I mean, but we're not, you know, we're kind of manly.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  I love the fact that like, the dynamic of this show has shifted.

• 29:31Bunnie XO?

  Literally.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  And the men are like, wait, I want to be a part of this.

• 29:33Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, men are like, you know what? We let, ladies, we let you have your moment. These next two are for us.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Oh, I love it.

• 29:39Bunnie XO?

  I love it. You guys write in, call, we love it. Thank you guys for loving us and doing Ass Talking Fest with us every week and just giving us things to laugh about. It's fucking hilarious.

• 29:52Bunnie XO?

  All right, you little fuck.

• 29:57Bunnie XO?

  Yep. Love you guys. See you next week. Bye.