Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney

Conan is joined by Sona, head writer Mike Sweeney, and executive producer Adam Sachs to recap Conan’s Mark Twain Prize for American Humor acceptance ceremony.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

  Your child's clean credit history can make them a target for identity thieves. Well, guess what? With LifeLock, you can add family members to your plan, giving you the power to block identity threats targeting your children. Now, Sona, your kids are pretty young still.

• 0:16Speaker 01

  They are.

• 0:17Conan O'Brien?

  Five, but within a couple of years, you know, they're gonna be buying heavy machinery online.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  What?

• 0:23Conan O'Brien?

  I'm just imagining them buying... They're gonna be... become tractor fanatics. They're gonna be buying tractors online. So if you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. So join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 0:49Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly, I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:52Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:54Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 1:00Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 1:01Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 1:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 1:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 1:12Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays... I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:24Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place, so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:49Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Conan O'Brien here, and we're doing something a little different today. I know this is usually a fan episode, but there are no more fans.

• 2:00Conan O'Brien?

  They're all gone.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  It's been a while.

• 2:02Conan O'Brien?

  It's been a while, and we've actually used

• 2:04Speaker 02

  You've been hiring people.

• 2:05Conan O'Brien?

  A couple of people 10 times, using different voices and mustaches, which is unnecessary when it's audio. But anyway.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  And women.

• 2:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 2:15Conan O'Brien?

  But anyway, the point is, we wanted to do something a little different because I just had a a very momentous moment in my career, and we thought, maybe we should talk about it. And there was some people asking questions. Actually, no one was. I just wanted to talk about it.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  No one felt it needed more discussion.

• 2:34Conan O'Brien?

  I received the prestigious Mark Twain Award.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Prize.

• 2:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's right. It's a prize.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  I know.

• 2:40Conan O'Brien?

  And we looked it up. Prize is six notches down from the award.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 2:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. It comes in a Cracker Jack's box. But, no, the Mark Twain Prize, which they've been giving out for, I think, 28 years or something like that.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, late 90s. The previous century.

• 2:56Conan O'Brien?

  Sure. That's so far not helpful at all, Sweeney. I'm joined by people who were there and participated. That would be Mike Sweeney and Sona Movsesian. Yeah. And I'll start by just saying that it was a huge honor. I mean that. I'm not someone who usually gets worked up about awards and such, but the caliber of people that showed up for this event.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Me and Sona.

• 3:23Conan O'Brien?

  No. But it's still. No, I'm saying, you guys aside. The lineup was incredible. Awesome.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  It was a murderer's row.

• 3:34Conan O'Brien?

  It was a murderer's row of just some of the people I respect the most in comedy. And they came out and they were all hilarious and really funny. And I will set the table, which is that I didn't know what to expect. And as you can imagine, being the focus of

• 3:55Conan O'Brien?

  Being talked about and possibly complimented is the lowest rung of Dante's hell for me.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  For any Irishman.

• 4:03Conan O'Brien?

  For any Irishman. And it was, I wasn't, I didn't know how to feel about it. And I was feeling very squirrely about the whole thing. And then I showed up and there was a, it was a dinner the night before, which in this case was emceed by Mike Sweeney, who was, and you feel free to jump on, Mike, anytime you want, Adam Sachs, because you were there as well. Wow, you seem thrilled.

• 4:31Conan O'Brien?

  It looked like I just asked him, hey, if you want to, you can swallow a cup of my mucus.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Adam, it'll help kill time.

• 4:38Conan O'Brien?

  No, just as you were an observer.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  It's like he was at the Hindenburg.

• 4:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, he was there at Lake Hurst.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  The humanity.

• 4:49Conan O'Brien?

  He said, humanity, the humanity, but.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Sweeney was awesome. I told you in the moment, Sweeney, he's so funny and so, he has a nonchalance about his, the way that he hosts.

• 5:03Conan O'Brien?

  Works.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  But it, but I think it, you know, put everybody at ease.

• 5:07Conan O'Brien?

  He was so, you were so funny. You, you came up and it's a strange thing because we're all here the night before. There's some corporate tables from different companies that have, that have given money to the, to the Kennedy Center to help support the arts. And have been doing so for many years. And immediately you started to go after those tables, which was hilarious. I want to set the stage, which is, this is how strange the night was, the night before. The night before, we all gather, there's a cocktail party, shaking hands, talking to different people. We sit down and I don't quite know what's going to happen. And before the evening, just as the evening is starting, I feel something

• 5:50Conan O'Brien?

  hit me between the shoulder blades. And I'm like, not hard, but something kind of thumped between my shoulder blades. And I'm like, did I imagine that? Would that really happen? And someone leaned over and said, David Letterman just threw a bread roll at you.

• 6:02Conan O'Brien?

  And so I wheel around in my chair and as you're getting started, or the proceedings are starting, I go over to Dave, who's there with his beard and it's David fucking Letterman, you know, who's such an iconic figure for all of us. And I go over and I just said like, Sir, did you throw a bread roll at me? And he looked at me in with mock horror and was like, "Well, no, I did not." And he pointed to someone at another table. And he was, and then Sweeney took over. You were fantastic. I hate, I hate complimenting you.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  I know.

• 6:38Speaker 01

  I love it, and you were really, really funny.

• 6:40Conan O'Brien?

  You were really funny.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  I do, I love complimenting you.

• 6:42Conan O'Brien?

  You were really funny, and it was nice too, because I didn't even realize that some of the people who were gonna be performing the next night, these big names, were in the room. I didn't realize, because they showed up.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Oh, I did.

• 6:54Conan O'Brien?

  They sat in the corner and.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  I was terrified.

• 6:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And, but, people got up and spoke. My, my good friend Amy Letman got up and gave.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  She was great.

• 7:03Conan O'Brien?

  A beautiful speech, and she is so funny, but also one of the best writers I've ever known.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  I went to school with her, so it was a nice perspective.

• 7:13Conan O'Brien?

  She had a perspective on me, knowing me when I was, she was not in the Lampoon, but she lived across the street, and she used to call the cops on us all the time. And that's how we became friends.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:23Conan O'Brien?

  I used to sit and talk to her through an open window while she was working late on one of her beautiful, you know, stories or prize-winning essays.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  And she co-created Party of Five, which for my generation is, you know, that was like a.

• 7:39Conan O'Brien?

  And Masters of Sex.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:41Conan O'Brien?

  And a million others. She's a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant force and a great friend, and.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  She was amazing.

• 7:48Conan O'Brien?

  She gave a, I mean, one of the all-time great speeches. And then I have to give it up, so many people got up and spoke. Jeff Ross.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Jeff Ross.

• 7:56Conan O'Brien?

  Did a very nice job.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Very nice job.

• 7:57Conan O'Brien?

  I've never heard Jeff say two consecutive sentences.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  It was crazy.

• 8:02Conan O'Brien?

  And then he gave a.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  In 30 years, that's the most verbiage I've heard.

• 8:06Conan O'Brien?

  And, and he gave a very nice speech. I have to say something, which is Sona Movsesian takes the stage. And who's sitting in the crowd? David Letterman, John Mulaney, Adam Sandler, just Sarah Silverman. These heavyweights who are gonna be speaking the next night at the, at the thing, they. Sona gets up and she acts like, yeah, okay, here goes.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  That's how she always is.

• 8:36Conan O'Brien?

  That's how you always are.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  She's a superstar.

• 8:39Conan O'Brien?

  I have marveled at this, which is that Sona, there's this scientific saying that the minute you expose any particle to light, the minute you observe any particle or atom, you change it. Just by observing it, you change it.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Right.

• 8:55Conan O'Brien?

  There's one exception to that. Sona Movsesian. Sona Movsesian, the time a guest didn't show up, this was Kumail, and Sona just, we told her at the last second, you're gonna be the guest, and we

• 9:06Speaker 02

  On the show.

• 9:07Conan O'Brien?

  slapped some makeup on her. This is on the old TBS show, and she came walking out like she owned the place.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Missed us a press.

• 9:14Conan O'Brien?

  And proceeded to be an amazing guest. And then when the show was over, no ego, her head wasn't swollen, she wasn't like, oh my god, I gotta call all my friends and tell them I'm on TV tonight. She's like, alright, I'm gonna go to get some In-N-Out.

• 9:28Conan O'Brien?

  See you guys later. You're just, I don't know who you are.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Oh, well, there are no stakes, really. I mean, and also, I don't know if you felt this too, but that's one of the most nerve-wracking speeches, though, just to talk to you about how much you mean to people. That's a very awkward speech to do.

• 9:43Conan O'Brien?

  But you didn't look, I mean.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Well, I'm a national speech champion.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  Which I mentioned in your intro.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  I know, thank you.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  You are an amazing, you just hit it, you were hilarious.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  That's Sherry Knight, thanks guys.

• 9:57Conan O'Brien?

  And I will say this, at the risk of being a human being, I love you both for being there and just that night, the night before, was so important because I realized, oh, I'm just laughing. And occasionally, there's a kind word, I'll avoid that, and I'll avoid eye contact. But mostly, people were just being themselves and being really funny, and I just found myself laughing really hard.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:23Conan O'Brien?

  And it meant a lot to me. My, um, my brother Luke and Justin were there, and

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Your kids were there, Liza was there, which was really nice.

• 10:32Conan O'Brien?

  That, I was never, knowing that

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Those comedians would be there.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  I know.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Plus.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  So you knew events? I wasn't sure if they were gonna be there.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  I had no idea who was gonna be there.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  I did, and I was like, okay, maybe, you know, maybe David Letterman won't really show up. And, you know, it's like, yeah, he's, he's sitting right there, table 18, throwing bread at Conan. I'm like, fuck. No.

• 10:57Conan O'Brien?

  And he did a really, he did a really funny thing, which was, he was acknowledged at one, I think you acknowledged him or somebody said, oh, my God, and David Letterman's here. And Dave, everyone else just kind of waved from their seat. He stood like King Louis XIV. And was, acknowledged the crowd and.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Turned.

• 11:18Conan O'Brien?

  And then turned to acknowledge more crowd and then did more sort of regal turns. And it was so funny that the applause continued. And he refused to sit down for the longest time. And I was like, gotta love that move. That's a really funny move. And everyone was just, that night was very special. Put me in a good mood and made me feel like, hey, maybe tomorrow will be okay. And then the next.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  Can I just add real quick on that night before you?

• 11:46Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, and although the fact that you were there didn't bother me at all.

• 11:50Conan O'Brien?

  One way or the other.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Were you nervous, Sweeney, knowing I was in the audience?

• 11:53Speaker 02

  I was.

• 11:55Conan O'Brien?

  That's podcast maestro. Adams, this is, this is Axe.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  I was just gonna say that.

• 12:00Conan O'Brien?

  Or it's Michael Sarah. I can't tell which one.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  That's why Sweeney was nervous. The Kennedy Center put up a, like, highlight clip on YouTube, if people want to watch it, of the night before. I think if you look on YouTube, the night before, Conan, Twain, you'll find like a highlight reel. And I think, you know, they can see Sona and Sweeney.

• 12:18Conan O'Brien?

  I will say, I think just for some, from some background, there was some, obviously for the last couple of months with the new administration, there's been some controversial stuff going on with the Kennedy Center. And there was a question of, should I go? Should I not go? And I, I felt like it was important to show up because first of all, we were brought in under the old regime. And, and the people who brought me in are no longer there. But I thought we should honor their decision. And we went and it was.

• 12:55Conan O'Brien?

  Really lovely because so many of the young people that have been working at the Kennedy Center for years were delighted that we came. They don't know what their future is. I got to talk to a lot of them and they're really, uh, they're going through a lot right now and I had a great deal of empathy.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:13Conan O'Brien?

  For what's happening there and I felt something about the situation added to the evening somehow.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  Wow, it sure did.

• 13:22Conan O'Brien?

  It really made it feel like this is, um, and without being pompous, without, uh, just, it just felt like this is not a normal event, something, and, and we all need to be on our toes and, and, and kind of be, uh, funny, but also, uh,

• 13:45Conan O'Brien?

  bring some optimism, maybe, bring some, I don't know.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not pompous at all. It was a very specific moment.

• 13:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  That this event occurred and that you had all these great comedians there and you had this changed situation at the Kennedy Center that was so dramatic and was in the news all week.

• 14:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  Dramatically in the news and so.

• 14:04Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Yes, it's something that I, while, while, uh, fedding you at the same time, everyone in their own way, you know, acknowledged what was going on.

• 14:13Conan O'Brien?

  I thought what was great is, uh, so many comedians that came, I mean, the lineup's insane.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:19Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, I mean, when you start a show with John Mulaney.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, let's get this thing started.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  John Mulaney was so good. I was like, you know, as just thinking in terms of comedians in a show order.

• 14:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  You're like, everyone has to, everyone was great.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  But watching Mulaney, you're like, whoa, I would not, if I was watching him and I knew I was in the on-deck circle or further down the.

• 14:45Conan O'Brien?

  When I saw, when I saw Mulaney.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  I'd be scared.

• 14:47Conan O'Brien?

  Mulaney was so funny that I left.

• 14:51Conan O'Brien?

  Because I'm supposed to close the evening. Mulaney was so funny.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  We're just giving this award, dude.

• 14:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I ran and I was halfway into an Uber when Sweeney tackled me and dragged me back.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  Get back there, man.

• 15:04Conan O'Brien?

  I was like, I can't follow that. That's Sean Mulaney. He was, but then, I mean.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  Everyone, everyone was great.

• 15:11Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, the list of people, Will Ferrell and, I mean, I don't know if we're supposed to be talking about who it is or if it's.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  I think it is there.

• 15:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I mean, Will Ferrell, just Tracy Morgan. Oh my God. Sarah Silverman, Nikki Glaser.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Reggie Watts.

• 15:29Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my God. And I, you know what's so funny is Bill Burr understands, because we grew up in nearby towns and we're made of the same stuff. And Bill Burr just drilled into me like, I'm gonna say a couple of nice things about Conan and he'll never look me in the eye again.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was funny.

• 15:45Conan O'Brien?

  You're gonna sit, and I was just like, this is a guy who knows.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 15:49Conan O'Brien?

  How horrifying this is, but.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Andy Richter was there.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Did we say Stephen Colbert?

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Stephen Colbert with Sean Evans.

• 15:58Conan O'Brien?

  And Stephen Colbert came out and did it, and I don't want to give away too much, but he.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  There's pictures.

• 16:03Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  Fuck you.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, I'm sorry.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Fuck you and your pictures.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  It's out there. You guys know that things are documented now.

• 16:09Conan O'Brien?

  He did a Hot Ones thing with Sean Evans that is absolutely fantastic and it was, you know, I mean, I have such respect and admiration and awe for everybody who showed up and, you know, there's that part of you that feels like, oh no, people have to fly here. That's making me uncomfortable.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  That would make me.

• 16:31Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I mean?

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Yes, like you're in imposition.

• 16:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's an imposition and oh shit, and then everybody was so funny that I, that all melted away and there was, it was a happening and it was also really nice to talk to all of the people. I say young people. They're all different ages, but to me now, everyone's young.

• 16:58Conan O'Brien?

  Who uh, who have worked so hard for so many years uh, for the Kennedy Center and just really have give, wanna give their lives to the arts and they're-

• 17:08Speaker 02

  You gave them a shout out and that was the biggest, that got a standing ovation.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it did.

• 17:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  Cause I was, the whole audience was in place. No, uh, yeah, no, that was, that was a really nice moment.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  It was very cool. It was nice of you to acknowledge that.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:22Conan O'Brien?

  Cause there's a lot of, oh, okay. Well, there's a lot of uncertainty there too. No, no, there's a lot of uncertainty and um, we've, we've heard uh, that a person or two that I spoke to that night is, have lost their job since and this just happened. Yeah. Um, and so it's this, it's a, you, you can feel sometimes shallow when you're trying to give encouragement to people who are in that situation. But I did want it to be a positive experience and-

• 17:50Speaker 02

  I, I do think, and this might sound shallow too, but when you're younger and you lose a job, that is an incredible, I feel like everyone here has probably been fired or-

• 17:59Conan O'Brien?

  I talk about, in my speech, I start my speech uh, with-

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Right, yes.

• 18:06Conan O'Brien?

  With a period of unemployment and uh, and, and what it felt like.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:11Conan O'Brien?

  Um, and I know that, that parts of what I said, I'm anxious for it to come out on, I guess it comes out on Netflix.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  I, I think, May 4th.

• 18:21Conan O'Brien?

  May 4th, I think.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Oh, May 4th.

• 18:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 18:24Conan O'Brien?

  What did you think?

• 18:25Speaker 02

  I thought it was April 4th.

• 18:26Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, they, no, they looked at the tape and everything was great, but this shit you did.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  No, I, I was just sitting in the audience.

• 18:33Conan O'Brien?

  No, I know, but even you in the audience, and they're doing a lot of CGI and stuff and-

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Oh no, I saw the camera near me.

• 18:40Conan O'Brien?

  No, it looks like one of the skeleton warriors from Sinbad is sitting in the crowd.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  That's a fun Easter egg.

• 18:47Conan O'Brien?

  It frightened people and a lot of kids can't watch now.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Smelly egg in the audience.

• 18:51Conan O'Brien?

  Look, there's a skeleton and he's gonna charge the stage.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  I think that's-

• 18:55Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, a lot of work is being done, so now it's, it's been moved to May 4th.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Are they adding flesh to me? Like, are they reanimating me?

• 19:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, and they're also not just flesh, but living flesh, so that it looks like you're still alive.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 19:08Conan O'Brien?

  Because we've tried adding flesh to you before using CGI and it just looks like you're a zombie.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  I don't know why the word desiccated is always used to describe me.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 19:17Conan O'Brien?

  You know, listen, it's my own fault because when I found you, you were in a tomb in Syria.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  You knew the deal.

• 19:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I unwrapped you and I said, you'll be my head writer and, you know, the least is history.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 19:31Conan O'Brien?

  I just said the less is history.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, I didn't want to mention it, but I heard you say the less is history.

• 19:36Conan O'Brien?

  Well, because I'm now, my head is so swollen with the Twain Prize, that it's hard for me to pronounce words.

• 19:49Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 19:53Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years, you know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 20:07Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 20:20Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:24Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 20:40Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I had this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 21:14Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 21:18Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 21:19Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Or Okie.

• 21:20Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 21:21Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:31Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:36Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 22:07Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  What?

• 22:10Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 22:14Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:15Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 22:22Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You wanna hear what they are?

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:27Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:29Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Oh, that's weird.

• 22:37Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 22:39Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, that's when it comes in handy.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:41Conan O'Brien?

  Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 22:46Speaker 01

  You travel a lot.

• 22:47Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:48Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 23:00Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 23:01Conan O'Brien?

  You know, uh, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 23:06Speaker 01

  My god.

• 23:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  What?

• 23:08Conan O'Brien?

  Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 23:11Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to tmobile.com and find yours best, based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit tmobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 23:40Conan O'Brien?

  So, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:46Conan O'Brien?

  And getting to be yourself, not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about it?

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Because it's family.

• 24:07Conan O'Brien?

  But what about a niece or a nephew?

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:11Conan O'Brien?

  Like a walk with an ex-wife. I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:18Conan O'Brien?

  Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse, crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.

• 24:48Conan O'Brien?

  Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Did we mention that it's for achievement in comedy and it's given at the Kennedy Center?

• 25:15Conan O'Brien?

  American comedy.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what, I don't know if we mentioned what the Mark Twain Prize was.

• 25:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, it is for athletic ability.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, no, Conan, someone lied to you.

• 25:23Conan O'Brien?

  And guess what? Know what it is? It's the Mark Twain Prize for the most riz.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 25:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yes!

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. For the most know what person who should never use the word riz.

• 25:34Conan O'Brien?

  No, don't make it negative that I, I know what riz is and it says on the award, Twain thinks you got riz.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  The rizler of the year award.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Rizler.

• 25:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you know, and guess what? Can I say something else? He was famous for piloting a rizzer boat. And, um.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  No, we gotta stop. I gotta quit.

• 25:52Conan O'Brien?

  They just took the award away.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  You gotta take it.

• 25:54Conan O'Brien?

  They're here to take it away because I said rizzer boat.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  They should take it.

• 25:58Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, no.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  They should take it.

• 26:00Conan O'Brien?

  First award to be taken away. Oh, no, second.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Edit out that May 4th announcement. That's not happening.

• 26:06Conan O'Brien?

  No, now it's July 4th because they've got a, oh, fuck. We got a skeleton in the audience. I'm making dad jokes about riz. We're all going down the drain.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  Uh, without giving anything away, I think that Will Forte also should get a shout out.

• 26:21Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God. Well.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Will Forte, yes.

• 26:23Conan O'Brien?

  Will Forte is a surprise, but it's okay to talk about it. He was, uh, I had a notion for how I wanted the evening to end. And there was, when I thought of it, I thought there's only one person who can do it, which is Will Forte. And I did something I never do, which is I cold called him and I don't like to do that. But I cold called him and I said, I have an idea, but it means you fly into DC and only you can do it. And he was laughing really hard at the idea and he said, do it. And then I said, you have to pay for your own flight.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 26:51Conan O'Brien?

  And you have to pay me $5,000.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  That's reasonable.

• 26:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and you have to kiss my feet. No, he, uh, he came and he, um, I mean, he's, again.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  He's the best.

• 27:00Conan O'Brien?

  Again, he's just so, uh, funny and he can, I, I, I thought of this one idea and I thought, there's one person who can do it and sure enough. And to the degree where if he had, if he had said, I'd love to do it, but I can't because I'm shooting my, you know, I've got a shooting set. I'm in a movie. I'm doing this. I'm doing that. I would have done a different idea because he was the only person who could do it. So, what, everything came together.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  And Triumph was great.

• 27:25Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God. Robert Smigel and Triumph.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Robert was great.

• 27:29Conan O'Brien?

  Robert was hilarious and he took you through the evening and the fact that it was a, you're in the Kennedy Center and it's this very impressive environment and that, and then.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  That's perfect for him.

• 27:41Conan O'Brien?

  And let's just try and remember Triumph is a rubber dog.

• 27:46Conan O'Brien?

  Who speaks like an old Russian lady? Is, has a microphone and is leading us through the evening.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:53Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I mean? It's supposed to be like, this is where Maria Callas gets her special medal.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  But then, there were a lot of old characters.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Oh, well, that's the other thing.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, and I'm not gonna give anything away, but there's a lot of, you know.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  You could tease two old late night writer favorites.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Made appearances, memorable appearances.

• 28:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  I sent Robert a photo. I looked up at one point and it was just, all you could see was Triumph, like, watching the show, sitting next to Will Ferrell, watching the show, and it was just hilarious. I sent him the photo of just Triumph watching the show.

• 28:27Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what's so funny is that when Robert is Triumph, over the, whatever, 25 years it's been since Triumph.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  1998?

• 28:36Conan O'Brien?

  1998, something.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  97.

• 28:38Conan O'Brien?

  But, but, you know, in between takes of things, I'd be talking to Robert and the puppet would be on his hand. And we'd be talking about, and sometimes, Robert would be doing the puppet.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 28:48Conan O'Brien?

  And I find myself talking to the puppet.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 28:50Conan O'Brien?

  And Robert's not wearing a mask or anything. You talk to Triumph.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 28:56Conan O'Brien?

  But the fact that if Triumph is sitting there just watching the event and Will Ferrell's also watching. And no one's like, I'm watching it, it's just the most natural thing in the world.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 29:06Conan O'Brien?

  There'll never be a dumber. I mean, there may not be a Twain Award again, but there.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Will there even be one again?

• 29:13Conan O'Brien?

  We don't know.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Who gets it next year?

• 29:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  And we could tease, David Letterman was at the dinner, throwing rolls at you. And maybe he showed up for the big award night as well.

• 29:23Conan O'Brien?

  We'll never know until you see it.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  Till my 4th, if it ever comes.

• 29:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, wait, till the 4th of May, it would have been the 4th of April, except for Sweeney.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  May the 4th be with you.

• 29:32Conan O'Brien?

  Did you say, may the 4th be with you?

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Yes, I did.

• 29:34Conan O'Brien?

  Want to take a Riz-er boat? And find yourself a new job. Yay! Anyway, it was, um.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Conan O'Brien has a pun.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  You mentioned your speech, though, I do think, it already has hundreds of thousands of views up on YouTube.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  One part of it.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  An excerpt of the speech, which I, you know, I will just say, I thought was incredible and powerful. And in the moment, you know, I think.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  I think people got chills, I did, you know, watching this, hearing the speech in the moment. And I really suggest everyone go check it out.

• 30:02Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you, oh, go ahead.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Well, you were so distracted, well, not distracted, you were consumed by doing the Oscars. And then the Oscars were over and, and all this, they were planning travel show, another travel show.

• 30:15Conan O'Brien?

  We left the morning after the Twain Awards.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  To go to Austria.

• 30:18Conan O'Brien?

  To go to Austria to, to, to finish up.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:21Conan O'Brien?

  The show that had been interrupted by, uh, uh, stuff in my life.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  But I just want to mention that, that then when you finally, the week before the Twain Prize, Twain Prize, you were like, wow, this is coming up. You sat, you just, you wrote your whole speech, every, every, every part of it was, uh, written by you. It was fantastic job.

• 30:42Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, well.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Well done, including the serious part, which is out already.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  And is already been nominated for a Grammy spoken word. But anyway, yes, you had a great job.

• 30:53Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, and you, uh, got nominated for Best Special Effect.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:57Conan O'Brien?

  Incredible.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Best skeleton.

• 30:59Conan O'Brien?

  How did they get a skeleton in the crowd?

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Also, Andy was great at the dinner.

• 31:04Conan O'Brien?

  Andy was fantastic, the dinner and the show.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Both, both, yes. Amazing job by Andy.

• 31:08Conan O'Brien?

  He had some great jokes.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:11Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, he's, um, you know, it's, I get chills because Andy, the summer before the show started, I was in so much trouble because I knew I only have literally weeks.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 31:25Conan O'Brien?

  To try and come up with a show that would replace David Letterman from scratch.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Yes, insane.

• 31:29Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, and the minute I met Andy Richter, I thought, oh, I like this guy. And in the back of my mind, I thought it'd be cool if he was with me out there, so I wasn't alone.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:40Conan O'Brien?

  And he's so funny.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Well, he reminds me of Sona in that he doesn't give a shit.

• 31:43Conan O'Brien?

  He doesn't, yeah, yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Which is unusual in a performer.

• 31:46Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  I interrupted you, I'm sorry.

• 31:48Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  You were gonna say you loved having him.

• 31:50Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I, I, that Andy is always Andy.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly.

• 31:54Conan O'Brien?

  And it doesn't matter, you can, uh, in a beautiful way, he's always himself.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:59Conan O'Brien?

  He's true to himself all the time and there's no, okay, I better gear up and get into Andy Richter character. There's no such thing.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:06Conan O'Brien?

  And the same with Sona.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 32:08Conan O'Brien?

  Sona doesn't give a shit about her performances or her work for me.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:12Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  Look at me now, on your podcast. Who won that one?

• 32:16Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you, you win all the time. You win at life all the time.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Didn't it feel like a funeral, kind of? Sorry, doesn't it feel like we were eulogizing you in a way?

• 32:28Speaker 03

  Didn't Amy sort of reference that?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Yes, she did say that. She said it felt like we were eulogizing you, and it kinda did.

• 32:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and I did have the strong urge to die afterwards.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 32:38Conan O'Brien?

  Just because it's like, what are you gonna do now? You know, but then I realized, eh, it's on Netflix. People will see it, they'll forget. I need to get that next prize.

• 32:48Conan O'Brien?

  But, uh...

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Sorry, there was only one American humorist, apparently.

• 32:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  I'm sure if you lived in Britain, there's probably like a humorist award every three weeks.

• 32:57Conan O'Brien?

  We've only had one. We've only had one.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  It's Twain.

• 33:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Who's the guy that created Garfield?

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 33:05Conan O'Brien?

  What's his name?

• 33:05Speaker 02

  I don't even know.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 33:08Conan O'Brien?

  It would be so cool if I had this.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  I only know Charles Schulz. I don't know if anyone's come since.

• 33:12Conan O'Brien?

  No, what if they skip over Charles? What if they skip over Charles Schulz and they just give it to the...

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Jim Davis.

• 33:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Jim Davis, creator of Garfield. And it's the Davis.

• 33:21Speaker 02

  The Davis Award.

• 33:21Conan O'Brien?

  He's gonna get the Davis. Yeah, but you have to work in a plug for Garfield.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  It's a bowl of lasagna.

• 33:27Conan O'Brien?

  That's right, because that's what he liked to eat.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  A bowl? No one eats lasagna out of a bowl.

• 33:32Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, this was going so well.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Hey, I thought that 20-minute bell was going off.

• 33:37Conan O'Brien?

  It went off.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  All right.

• 33:39Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh...

• 33:40Speaker 01

  It went off when you said Rizor Boat. That's when it started going downhill.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Also, some great fun video surprises during the show.

• 33:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes, and really good video surprises. Uh, some, uh...

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Fans will enjoy?

• 33:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, fans, if there's still Conan fans out there.

• 33:59Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 33:59Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, after this self-congratulatory, uh, podcast episode.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Well, no, I congratulated you, so that wasn't self.

• 34:07Conan O'Brien?

  That's true, that's true.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  But of course, I'm an employee and...

• 34:10Conan O'Brien?

  What are you gonna do?

• 34:10Speaker 02

  Value my paycheck.

• 34:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I just wish I'd had more time to take it in, because literally the next morning... Everybody's had to scatter because everyone's busy.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 34:20Conan O'Brien?

  And we, you and I jumped on a plane with Ross and we took off for-

• 34:26Speaker 02

  Jordan.

• 34:26Conan O'Brien?

  And Jordan for Austria and then we just got back. So I'm still.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  And we're editing with this edit, the show's edited, it's due tomorrow to HBO Max.

• 34:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yeah.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  So we're editing, it's insanity.

• 34:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, there's a lot that's happening right now.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  That's a lot.

• 34:44Conan O'Brien?

  But I am, I'm glad they recorded that evening because if there wasn't a recording of it, I wouldn't believe it. That's how I feel about it. I kind of just wouldn't believe it. And my love and thanks to everybody who came out, I mean, really busy people flew across the country to be there and I'll never forget it as long as I live. Wait, just forgot it.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  It's a very, very funny show.

• 35:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  And very sweet at the same time.

• 35:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. All right. Well, I think May 4th, Netflix, check it out. I think you will enjoy it. And next week in this regular time slot, we'll probably be back with a fan or maybe just me talking more about how I won a prize.

• 35:33Speaker 02

  They're casting more fans this week, so we'll have more fake fans for you.

• 35:37Conan O'Brien?

  We're paying people. His name's Conan.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:39Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Cronin.

• 35:42Conan O'Brien?

  I loved your late night show. It's Conan and it's late night. I love you since you started in 2011. Yeah. You, I love it. You're great. I love when you drive with people and sing songs. No, that's Gordon. Whatever. Fuck it. Where's my money? All right. Peace out, Tupac.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross and Nick Leo. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 36:17Speaker 04

  Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper 7-Up Inc.

• 37:10Speaker 06

  Your call is important to us. Please hold for the next nonexistent representative.

• 37:16Speaker 07

  Ever get a pit in your stomach when you realize your afternoon is about to become a bureaucratic cage match over a bill?

• 37:21Speaker 06

  Someone will be with you shortly.

• 37:23Speaker 07

  Skip it. Save time by letting Experian negotiate your bills and look for new deals and savings opportunities. Get started in the Experian app now and see how much you could save. Results will vary. Not all bills eligible. Savings not guaranteed. Available with eligible paid memberships. See Experian.com for details.