TBT: Viking Barbie

Is there anything Viking Barbie can't do? She's a rapper, singer, gorgeous vixen dominating Only Fans, and she even seems to live a parallel life as Bunnie. This week, she jumps on the mic in the new studio to talk about her healing journey, what it's like having millions of people interested in your life, realizing her value, and how she and her bf Aaron met. Viking Barbie: IG https://www.instagram.com/viking.barbie/?hl=en Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.com

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bunnie XO?

  Is this thing on?

• 0:01Speaker 01

  Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast Dumb Blonde.

• 0:05Bunnie XO?

  Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child and here we are.

• 0:16Bunnie XO?

  What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of the Dumb Blonde Podcast, but we are in the West Coast studio today. And I thought to myself, I was like, who would I want to be my first guest on the podcast in the new studio? And it would have to be one of my dear, sweet friends. I like to consider her like one of my best friends. Viking motherfucking Barbie is in the house, baby.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Hello. Hello. No, I'm really not a talk into a microphone now. Yes.

• 0:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. She did a podcast last week and she was looking like Ricky Bobby.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:53Bunnie XO?

  Trying to chase the microphone with her mouth. So for those of you who don't know who Viking Barbie is, because there are some people out there who don't know who your beautiful ass is.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  And who think we're the same person.

• 1:04Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, this is who you guys think is always me. She did a song with Jay, she redid Creep with Jay, and she's the hot blonde that's in the video. She's brunette now, so if you're watching this video, just picture her with blonde hair and it'll all make sense.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Bonnie beat me up and told me I had to dye my hair because it was her thing.

• 1:20Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I was like, don't be like the parrot. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

• 1:26Bunnie XO?

  Inside joke, guys. Um, so tell people who you are.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  I am scholar, a gentleman, no. I am, uh, well, getting over being sick, so excuse my man voice, but, um, yeah, just, I sing. I do comedy, uh, Shakespearean things, you know, everything. I don't even know what I am anymore.

• 1:49Bunnie XO?

  I know, like, you're just such a smorgasbord of everything, but I've always loved that about you because that's how I am. Like, you can't put us into a box, like.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  I hate being in a box.

• 1:58Bunnie XO?

  Besides being insanely beautiful, you have a great personality. You have, you can fucking wrap your ass off, which most people don't know that, but you can also sing too. Hold on one second. Can you see the fly now?

• 2:10Speaker 02

  I see the fly. I've been watching it.

• 2:14Bunnie XO?

  It's so distracting. Okay. Um, you can wrap your ass off. You can sing your ass off. You fucking are hilarious. You do these skits on Instagram. You're huge on Instagram. How many fucking followers do you have on Instagram?

• 2:26Speaker 02

  On one account, I think it's like 11.3 and the other one's 3 million. And then so altogether like 13 million.

• 2:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. It's a lot of motherfuckers checking out your titties.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Um, I do that as well.

• 2:39Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  I show those as well.

• 2:41Bunnie XO?

  The, she's definitely in the adult industry and if you guys are not subscribed to her fucking OF, you guys need to go shout out your OF real quick.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  Um, it is actually Vikingdoll dot private. I know Vikingdoll dot VIP and the reason it's Viking Doll is because Mattel came for me.

• 3:00Bunnie XO?

  They sent you like a cease and desist, right?

• 3:02Speaker 02

  And then they went and we didn't desist. So they ended up going to OnlyFans and making them shut me down, which is kind of shitty because there's actually somebody on there using my name.

• 3:12Bunnie XO?

  There's a lot of girls who use Barbie.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Why is it me? You know, like bloody favoritism.

• 3:18Bunnie XO?

  No, but I, I mean, Nicki Minaj built her whole fucking brand off Barbie.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, but she has a deal with them. Same thing happened to her. I found out. Believe me, that was the first thing, you know? Not that I'm on that level to where I should like, well, Nicki Minaj, you know, like she's like bitch.

• 3:32Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  But yeah, so I don't know. They, they definitely came for me for that. They came for me with something else. Uh, one of my other like merchandise things. So when I do merch, I have to like figure out like how to get around that. Just sign Viking or something like that.

• 3:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. You can't do the Barbie anymore. It's crazy. I hate that. So I think what is really cool about a lot of the girls that are in the industry, um, that people don't know, you know, like you have this crazy story of recovery and redemption and just pretty much like being a phoenix that rises from the ashes. So can we like take it all the way back? Like, let's talk about dad. Let's talk about where you grew up. Let's talk about.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  This is where she Barbara Walters, you guys.

• 4:18Bunnie XO?

  The trailer park Barbara Walters, baby. Let's go.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Well, you know, I've, uh, risen from the ashes multiple times, I guess, because you know, you think you're like done, but it always kind of like comes back around and you're just like, it never ends. You know, we obviously know that.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  I was born in Texas, uh, San Antonio, Texas, which I actually just got a house over there too.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  My mom was a stripper.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  And my dad was like, he was a bodybuilder, but he was like a, I want to say career criminal as well. You know, he, I kind of, I guess I've described the story before, but um, he did, you know, a lot of wild things. My mom helped. And then um.

• 5:01Bunnie XO?

  Accomplices.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:02Bunnie XO?

  Partners in crime.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  And I think she, well, she had me around nineteen, so you know, it was like a pretty young, you know, wild family. And I got older, um, we moved around a lot. I, they kind of split up because he was dealing with some stuff with like the mob and she didn't want um, me to be involved with that. Basically what had happened was the um, CIA or whoever was dealing with the case uh, came and, and she heard him say like, oh, they better not come looking for me because they might find me. And like, it was when he was like supposed to get on the stand for some stuff and my mom was like, yeah, we're gonna go.

• 5:39Bunnie XO?

  She's like, this is my exit.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, so we left for a while and then um, I went to go uh, stay at some family's house. And then my dad came and got me, we moved to California. And my mom was gone for a while and then she came back and my dad started doing movies. So he ended up being in like Batman and Robin, Bulletproof.

• 5:58Bunnie XO?

  Okay, but don't blow over that. What was your dad in Batman?

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Uh, he was Bane.

• 6:02Bunnie XO?

  Yep.

• 6:04Bunnie XO?

  She's always like, yeah, but he did Batman and da, da, da, da. I'm like, no, no, no, let's talk about it.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, he did, he was Bane in Batman and Robin, the um, one with all the veins. Um, yeah, so that was a pretty cool experience. Um, and yeah, where was I?

• 6:21Bunnie XO?

  So we're talking about dad, dad started doing movies, you guys moved to Cali.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then um, and then he passed away around the time I was around twelve. I want, actually, I want to say like eleven. And then uh, my mom and I ended up moving to the valley and she remarried. And then she remarried, like, stuff happened with that. She remarried again, so there was like two relationships. And then I ended up at around seventeen, like running away from home. And um.

• 6:48Bunnie XO?

  When did the drug addiction start?

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Hold on, my mouth's getting a little parched.

• 6:52Bunnie XO?

  A little parched.

• 6:56Bunnie XO?

  She gets like me whenever she starts talking about her childhood, she gets really uncomfortable. Do you see that?

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Well, she's not the one who's talking about her childhood.

• 7:03Bunnie XO?

  No, I have to do it too and I literally do the same thing you do. I start getting like all uncomfortable and like.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, cuz I'm like a sensitive hoe now, you know, with all this stuff.

• 7:14Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we're gonna talk about all that cuz we're both on healing journeys and lord, help us.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, how am I supposed to like, um, mask up? You know what I mean? And like, you just berate, yeah, barricade through this. Um, so yeah, I, um, where was I?

• 7:30Bunnie XO?

  Dad passed away at eleven.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, so my mom ended up remarrying a few times. I ran away from home, which I think that happened with you too. Um, I was like seventeen.

• 7:39Bunnie XO?

  Now, our lives are so parallel, it's crazy. Like, it's just weird.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, definitely like symbiosis in, in like a lot of ways. Even, even the relationship we have, which is kinda weird to me, the same age difference, the same kid, the same like, it's just like a very interesting thing. Um, so yeah, I basically, um, ran away. I was with some boy, you know, cuz that's all that I wanted to do was live in a romance novel.

• 8:06Bunnie XO?

  Me too.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, so.

• 8:08Bunnie XO?

  Boys were always my fucking weakness.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I wish I would have banged around a little bit. Just saying, I was thinking about that. I'm like, man, I could have banged some beautiful ones and then I was just like in one for eight years, you know? And no offense to him, but you know, he was cute at eighteen or nineteen, but you know, they get old, long in the tooth.

• 8:26Bunnie XO?

  Long in the tooth. I hate it. Some of the dudes I look back on, I'm like, how are you so bald now? Like, it's just crazy.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  What happened?

• 8:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Hope he doesn't see this. I feel bad.

• 8:39Bunnie XO?

  Just wondering what happened.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  But yeah, we were basically like using partners. Um, but like, just like, it was fun at first.

• 8:46Bunnie XO?

  You guys were using what?

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Using partners because like, we were, we kinda met in like this, I was in a relationship that was normal. We met, he took me away from that relationship. We ran away. We were doing a bunch of coke. Um, we were staying in like seedy motels. I was stripping with a fake ID, um, which I was kinda doing that, but when I was like, I wanna say the first time I stripped was like at fifteen. Um, so like, it was kinda that kinda relationship and it was all, you know, blast. Like, it was really fun in the beginning, you know?

• 9:15Bunnie XO?

  Don't you ever think back like to childhood, or not even childhood, but those years and you're just like, man, if I could just be that fucking carefree again?

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:24Bunnie XO?

  Like, I didn't have any anxiety back then. It was like, just living my life. Like, how, how was it to wake up normal with no, barely any trauma except for what my parents put me through?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  The stuff mama used to make.

• 9:35Bunnie XO?

  You're right.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, we just kept going, you know, you just keep making more trauma.

• 9:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you traumatize the fuck out of yourself as you grow up.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, yeah, so, I mean, it was fun and then it was fun until it wasn't fun. And usually that, I mean, it was really when the opiates came in that it wasn't fun anymore because.

• 9:53Bunnie XO?

  How old was that?

• 9:54Speaker 02

  I was, I want to say I started doing them around nineteen. Um, and it was still kind of fun.

• 10:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  And then, because I was doing like painkillers, you know, and like.

• 10:06Bunnie XO?

  Lordurves.

• 10:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I started like, then I started kind of like slanging from my house instead of going to the strip club and dancing. And I had someone doing, like, being a runner for me. And, uh, she would come and like drop it off and pick it up and like literally have pictures of me naked in my bed, just sitting there like a godfather with my coke bags, like just waiting. Like, I just got super lazy, you know, like all I did was sit in bed, drink, take pills, do coke.

• 10:31Bunnie XO?

  Eat.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  It was fucking fun, but.

• 10:34Bunnie XO?

  I used to eat so much when I was an addict and not even think twice about it. Domino's was my go-to thin crust pizza with their fucking chicken nuggets. Oh, my God.

• 10:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, you, that's the thing. I just became like this, like, shut-in.

• 10:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Because I didn't really want to leave. I just wanted to be high. It was pretty awesome.

• 10:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Um, and, and, but then it's like, over time, you just kind of start, everything erodes, you know, like the relationships erode, you know, and then this relationship that was so great, he starts stealing coke from you secretly and like, and then you're like, wait a minute, like, I thought I could trust this person. And there's all kinds of other weird shit that happened that I won't put him on blast for.

• 11:09Bunnie XO?

  Please do.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, I've only been with like three dudes in my whole life. So everyone be like, oh, that's that one, you know?

• 11:16Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, shit.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  He's like remarried.

• 11:19Bunnie XO?

  His new wife's watching this.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 11:21Bunnie XO?

  She's like, honey, I never knew.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, she knows, I bet. Um, but. Never. Um, yeah, so it's just, um, it, it got like really like crazy, you know, and like there's just the strip club lifestyle and stuff like that. Um, I started dancing at parties. That was like, that made it even easier for me not to have to like work too hard. You know what I mean? So it's like, I go a couple hours a week and I make a couple thousand dollars. And like, I was not a hustler. Like, I'm a hustler now when I got sober, but like, I know you were a hustler, bitch. I was not a hustler. I was with drugs. Like, I would do what I had to do to get high and I would like sell them.

• 11:59Bunnie XO?

  Maintain your lifestyle.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  When it came to like, like stripping, um, they would just be like, hey, you wanna dance? Oh, no? Alright. I would make a hundred dollars, bitch. Like, at the club. Like, it was bad. And I was only like nineteen. Like, there was a problem.

• 12:14Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  But, once I started dancing, it was like they were at my, um, you know, at my will, you know? It's like, I'm the only stripper you got. You better pay me.

• 12:22Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  It worked out really well because I didn't have to hustle. Um, but yeah, so that, that all transpired. And then, um, then I met a girl. We ended up, you know, hitting it off. I was like dating a girl while I was with this guy. And she was a heroin addict. And I ended up being sick one time. And I just had to like, um, not be sick. And she was like, oh, I don't wanna give you.

• 12:48Bunnie XO?

  How many pills were you taking a day?

• 12:50Speaker 02

  The first round, I was taking forty pills a day. But-

• 12:55Bunnie XO?

  God.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Um, Norcos and then doing like probably about a gram of coke a day.

• 13:00Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Um, but I got clean. And then I went and relapsed again.

• 13:06Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  And then I was doing less.

• 13:08Bunnie XO?

  Forty pills a day. I, I couldn't, I would just get sick. So, the most I could do was like two or three a day. And that was my addiction. But forty pills? I, no wonder you couldn't shit.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:18Bunnie XO?

  I couldn't shit off two or three pills.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Shitting was but a dream. It was like, it was the thing that, you know, the wealthy only got to afford.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  So yeah, I um.

• 13:30Bunnie XO?

  So you got sick one day?

• 13:31Speaker 02

  I got sick and I was like, hey, can I use like your shit? You know, it's the same shit. You know what I mean? She's like, no, it's not. You're not gonna take this kind of thing. And um, I was like, yeah, like just hook it up. Like, I gotta go to work. Um, give me a hit, like one hit and I'll fucking go. And she ended up like, I ended up talking her into it.

• 13:48Bunnie XO?

  You? I I don't believe that. Talking her into that?

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she still feels bad about it, but um, you know, that's a whole nother.

• 13:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  We ended up breaking up over like a lot of, you know, my mom going through my trash. There's a lot, there's a lot to unpack.

• 14:02Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, so, you know, so I took it and I I went and that's when I was like, okay, well, now I can't get high on the pills.

• 14:10Bunnie XO?

  What was it like hitting heroin for your first time?

• 14:12Speaker 02

  I honestly didn't like it. Um, it was too heavy. It was dirty feeling. It didn't have that like crisp, like, you know, if you like painkillers, like that crisp, like euphoric.

• 14:23Bunnie XO?

  Your eyes change color because it feels so good.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  You know, and you could just clean the house. Like, that's how I feel. I get energy from it.

• 14:29Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Um, heroin's not like that. You're just like, you know, chin to chest, you're out and you're just basically like numbing. Yeah. And I didn't want to do it. I was like, this stuff sucks. I remember saying that. And then like when I went to, you know, go take pills, it was not working. And I was like, okay, this sucks.

• 14:48Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no. So just from doing it one time fucked up your whole?

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, like fucked up my system. And then like trying to take it away, even after one time, I swear, it was like, the either the worst come down or you're already feeling symptoms. I can't figure it out. Like, it was horrible.

• 15:03Bunnie XO?

  That's terrible.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Um, so yeah, I started doing that shit and I was like, and it eventually started liking it, you know? But it's like, you're almost liking it for what you think it is. It's kind of like an abusive relationship, you know, like rather than what it really is. Like when you're sick, you're like, oh, I can't wait. And then the second you get it, you're like, that wasn't even.

• 15:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  That great.

• 15:20Bunnie XO?

  Like what a fucking lackluster.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, um.

• 15:27Bunnie XO?

  She's like, drink, break my hair.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's also recovering.

• 15:33Bunnie XO?

  It's interesting, and I think it's what makes you, you know, especially to see how far you've come now is what I really want people to see.

• 15:43Bunnie XO?

  She's like, fine. Alright, so you started using heroin.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:48Bunnie XO?

  And take me from there.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  And that was when I was like, really like hiding everything, you know, because it was like before when I was on the pills, the first time before I ever relapsed again and like got off. I would always tell people like, oh, I'm a junkie, like, I'm, I don't give a fuck, like, don't ever come for me, like, I am never going to rehab, like, I was like, proud of it. But once you quit, there's something that happens where like, and why quit, I mean, like, I thought I was sober, I was doing cocaine every day, like, that was what I thought, like, my friends.

• 16:16Bunnie XO?

  California sober.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, my friends still joke with me, they're like, you were never sober at that time, like, you were literally doing coke every day, I'm like, hey, that's like a cigarette, you know what I mean?

• 16:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Um, but like, for me, like, I got sober off the pills, they caused so much problems and so much pain. And so I was kind of embarrassed, like, to tell anyone that I relapsed, I didn't want to tell anyone, so like, then it just got worse, and when you start hiding shit is when it really gets bad. You know?

• 16:42Bunnie XO?

  Why were you hiding it? Why did you feel, did you, had you gone to rehab, or you had?

• 16:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 16:46Bunnie XO?

  How did you get sober? You just went to coke?

• 16:49Speaker 02

  Um, well, I, I had a miscarriage.

• 16:52Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, um, but I didn't ever want kids, I just like, wanted to like, have that one because like, the hormones started kicking in.

• 17:00Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  That shit will trick you, by the way.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  You're like, you can stay pregnant for more than like, six weeks, like, you're just like, all I want to do is be a mother, it's my, my, my mission in life. So like, I had this whole thing in my head, um, so I was getting clean for that, but it didn't like, you know?

• 17:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Pan out, um, thank God though, because I was.

• 17:20Bunnie XO?

  Can we normalize people not wanting children, you know, just to interject, I feel, I hate, like, people ask Jay, me and Jay all the time, they're like, are you guys ever gonna have kids? And I'm like, no. I don't fucking want kids, like, I, I don't want to inflict the trauma that my fucking family did on me, like, I don't want to be responsible for that.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  I think you would do that, but I definitely don't want.

• 17:37Bunnie XO?

  Not now, but if I had a shit one out when I was eighteen, imagine that kid would be fucked up right now.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Well, that's kind of what, where I was at, but to be fair, I did detox solely for the fact that I was, so, some points there.

• 17:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  A lot of women can do, a lot of people, drug addicts don't do that. Um, but yeah, so you know, that's why I got sober and then I was like, oh, I can't tell anyone I relapsed. Like, that's embarrassing. Like, after all that, you know? So I was going through the whole, you know, liar addict shit. Um, the house was filthy. It was pretty gross. I mean, I'm already, I'm not gonna lie, like, I'm a bit of a slob naturally, because my father was like, I grew up like with a slob. You know what I mean? Like, and it's not even any shade. It's like, the man would like piss in Gatorade bottles and like throw them in the backseat of the car.

• 18:21Bunnie XO?

  Oh, so you were married to Jay? All right, so your dad was Jay, sorry.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  No, totally reminds me of him a lot. Um, but.

• 18:28Bunnie XO?

  This dude will piss in a bathtub.

• 18:31Bunnie XO?

  And the toilet's literally right next to him. And I'm like, can you not? And remember he pissed all over my hair extensions? I was like, what is wrong with you? Like, go to the fucking bathroom, you hobo.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was definitely, um, that was, and that's kind of how like I am, like, na- naturally, I'm kind of sloppy. You know what I mean? Like, I'll just have my whole night stand, just, and I'll like, put like, the last piece of trash to let it like, you know what I mean? Like, make sure it doesn't fall, you know, but, um, so I got better about that, but I'm still kind of like that. But this was like a whole nother level, because if you're already not a clean person, and then you become a junkie, I mean, it's like.

• 19:10Bunnie XO?

  You guys know I've always got a million things going on, and sometimes I wonder where my day even went. I was listening to Cal Newport talk about something called shallow work in his class on the MasterClass platform. Basically, constantly jumping from one thing to another makes it harder to focus, even when you think you're being productive. And let me tell you, that really hit home. It made me realize I need to be more intentional with my time. Plus, they have over 200 classes led by the world's best instructors, from Michael Lewis on storytelling to James Clear on building better habits. If you're looking to invest yourself or give a gift to that friend who's always eager to learn, this is something they'll use. Audio mode lets you listen during workouts or commutes, and lessons are easily downloadable right now.

• 19:52Bunnie XO?

  Plans start at just $10 a month billed annually, backed by a 30-day money-back guarantee. MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there's never been a better time to get in. Right now, you can get up to 50% off any annual membership. Up at masterclass.com slash B U N N I E. That's up to 50% off at masterclass.com slash bunny. Head to masterclass.com slash bunny to see the latest offer.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  Hi, I'm Dr. Mary Claire Haver, board certified OBGYN and menopause specialist. My podcast, UnPaused, is the place for bold, unfiltered conversations about what it really takes for women to thrive in the second half of life. Every week, I sit down with medical experts and leading voices to talk about the health issues that matter most. Because UnPaused isn't just about the years you live, but how well you live them. Listen and follow UnPaused with me, Dr. Mary Claire Haver, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  It's pretty bad.

• 20:46Bunnie XO?

  I couldn't imagine.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  I mean, there were moments where, you know, like I smoked what I thought was heroin off the floor.

• 20:54Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  But it was like dog turds.

• 20:56Bunnie XO?

  I did that with cocaine.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:58Bunnie XO?

  I would like rummage for cocaine rocks in my floor.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like everyone does that. At least cocaine doesn't look like dog turds.

• 21:03Bunnie XO?

  I tried to smoke a cocaine rock, thinking it was crack one night.

• 21:10Bunnie XO?

  Like, this is how deep the fucking addiction goes. Like, you do weird shit when you're an addict, dude.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Especially when you're smoking the dog turd and you know it's not, you know, it's not heroin.

• 21:21Bunnie XO?

  The little almond roca.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  I'm like, I know this isn't heroin because it doesn't taste like it. I know it's burning weird, but I'm so desperate to believe it is.

• 21:28Bunnie XO?

  It might have a hint of heroin.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, some heroin might have gotten on this dog.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  So, yeah, I mean, I've done all kinds of weird shit.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  But yeah, so it was just like, and you look at me, people are like, you, you are not a heroin addict. Like, there's something like, I'm like, I think people don't realize like how we all look, you know, different.

• 21:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, just because you fucking have, your glow up is phenomenal, doesn't mean that you haven't been through some shit. And that's why I wanted you to come back on the podcast because a lot of, a lot of you guys don't know this. Barb's was the way I met her five years ago. Was she was like one of the first people on my podcast. She had like no hesitation was like, yeah, I'll do it. And fucking so for that, I just always have loved you and even for more reasons than that, but that was like the beginning of our love affair.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  We also have a love affair where we exchange what's wrong with us every day.

• 22:22Bunnie XO?

  All day long.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Aaron's always like, it's kind of interesting. Like you wake up every morning. The first thing you say to me isn't good morning. It's like, oh, this is wrong or that's wrong. Last night I slept weird. My arm feels funny. I have a tickle here. And he's like, I've never in the whole time we've known each other and you've not had something wrong. He's like, and now you have bunny and she can tell you all the things wrong with her.

• 22:42Bunnie XO?

  We just beat off of each other, but it's funny because we have a balance because I calm you down and then you calm me down.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  I know, because you sound crazy.

• 22:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  But it's like, but then I.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  So like, sometimes I'll be like, man, is this what it's like? Like, is it? Because this isn't possible. She can't possibly have all the, you know?

• 23:01Bunnie XO?

  No, for sure.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Totally. It's totally both of us.

• 23:04Bunnie XO?

  We are just, we put the fun in dysfunction. But yeah, so I, that's why I wanted you to come back on the podcast was because I want, now that I have all these fucking listeners and I just want people to get to know you again, because I don't feel like anybody's going to go back to episode three and listen, unless you guys want to.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Well, there was one we did, I think like a few years ago in Nashville, but that was pretty far away.

• 23:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  It was not really like intimate.

• 23:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, it was, well, that and it had you and Kada and it didn't really have like, I don't think you guys really got to like, like get into detail. It was more of like, just, hey, how you doing? We're dropping into, drop some music and kind of like touched base. So I kind of wanted to just deep dive with you so that people could, you know, get reacquainted.

• 23:44Bunnie XO?

  So you're smoking dog turds. Off the carpet.

• 23:51Bunnie XO?

  Sorry, do it on the mic. Some people like it.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Right. What is Jelly makes me burp, made me burp in the mic when I was, um, when I was recording. He's like, you have to do that. You always do that before you start spinning.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  So yeah, um, it was pretty gnarly. Uh, I mean, there was, there was maggots in my laundry. Like that's how, and I, most people, my dude's gonna be like, why do you always tell everybody all this?

• 24:16Bunnie XO?

  Well, why were there maggots though? What was happening?

• 24:19Speaker 02

  Because, well, I had a laundry pile that was all the way in the kitchen shoved against the wall all the way up to the ceiling. Like, cause we just kept buying clothes. Cause I mean, I was stripping, you know, I didn't, but I didn't want to wash them.

• 24:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I still don't want to wash them.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  The sink was right there. And so all the dishes were piled up and the maggots got from the dishes to the laundry.

• 24:36Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  So it was.

• 24:38Bunnie XO?

  So you were living in a trap house?

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Top tier. Yeah. Um, and this is like the fourth one. Okay. So we would get a place, run it into the ground, stop paying rent. We would get evicted. Um, we would find some way to stay there long enough and then like find another place. Cause I'd make just enough money. I always made enough money, like just to get a nice, another nice place. And I would always like, you know, you know, smooth, get my way in there. I would dress nice that day. And I'd put some tanner on my white face, you know what I mean?

• 25:04Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  And, um,

• 25:06Bunnie XO?

  Sorry, I'm trying to get adjusted in this fucking new studio over here.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  So like, we'd always find a new place to just destroy. And every time we thought we were going to keep that one nice, but it never happened. Um, and it's funny. I remember the last place that I, when I'd gotten arrested that we were living in, like the, the guy's like, well, you just sit here in the kitchen. Let me know what you think. It was like a nice, like he had just done the house up, walked outside and I was like, thanks, we're going to talk about it. Lighting a paro and smoking in the kitchen. This guy's outside thinking we're like these like great tenants, you know what I mean? And I was like, God, we were just the worst.

• 25:39Bunnie XO?

  It's crazy when you think about the shit that you do whenever you're under the influence.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, we got engaged. I like that. And we had a whole wedding planned that no one could get ahold of me for to get flowers or anything. My mom had to basically like, you know, get me in a corner to try and get me to plan this thing. And I ended up having my wedding day while I was in rehab. So the day I was like, well, it's the day. Princess.

• 26:04Bunnie XO?

  So how did you get to rehab? When, what was that pivotal moment?

• 26:08Speaker 02

  I went with my, uh, best friend to a show. She worked with me and like, we danced for these cops, believe it or not.

• 26:15Bunnie XO?

  I believe it.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  I even remember that show, like it was really fun. We were laughing. We were having a good time, like making jokes with these guys. They were cool. And then we left and we were counting money on the side of the street. And other cops pulled up. This was over in Fountain Valley in Orange County and um they were like, get out of the car and we're like, oh, we're not doing anything. We're just counting money. We're we're dancers. And he goes, well, where there's strippers, there's narcotics. And I was like, how offensive.

• 26:39Bunnie XO?

  How dare you?

• 26:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, so my poor friend and her friend who drove us, who was a preschool teacher that we were paying.

• 26:47Bunnie XO?

  Nice.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  No, like, and neither of them had drugs on them. They weren't like there for that, you know? Meanwhile, I had like heroin and coke on me and like, I just bought like, like a really nice, like, brand new, like forty sack of black tar. You know what I mean? Like, it was all shiny and new, you know? I didn't even get to dip into it, you know? And like, the cops started looking and usually I had it in my bra. He didn't even look at my, like, our bras. Um, but for some reason, you know, it's like that universe thing, like it happened to be. And I was like, it's fine. He's not gonna look in this spot. And it was like, I would have never done that. And he found it, of course.

• 27:24Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, so that was a whole fucking, it was the worst because I was.

• 27:31Bunnie XO?

  Did you get charged?

• 27:32Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 27:32Bunnie XO?

  What were the charges?

• 27:34Speaker 02

  Um, possession of large usable amounts of um narcotics, heroin and cocaine, or whatever the judge said when I was partially deaf when he said it. Um, my, I had like all the fluid coming out of my lungs into my ears in court. I couldn't hear anything.

• 27:48Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Um, so, yeah, went to jail that night. My friend took my money to my boyfriend at the time. She's like, dude, she's like, it was the weirdest thing. She's like, I went to go drop your money off and I hadn't seen you guys in a while and stuff. He was being so weird, like, and like, the whole thing came out, like, she didn't even know I was doing heroin. And she's like, I always just thought you had really dirty fingers and I couldn't figure out why.

• 28:11Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  You know, like, it's like, there's just so many things. And then she was fucking pissed because, you know, I'd been lying to her and then like, he was acting crazy. She said it was like the, because you needed the drugs and I had them on me or whatever. Um, but yeah.

• 28:26Bunnie XO?

  Oh, he was jonesing.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:28Bunnie XO?

  Damn.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  And then my mom came and got him and she took him off. She's like, you're going to rehab, like, kind of thing. And he was like, he has a cancer. He was like, okay. You know, like he didn't even like really fight it. Um, she strip searched him, my mom, and he's a full grown man. And he was like, okay. And she's like, let me see the shoes. And he was like, fuck, there's like shit in his shoes. Um, so like, when I was getting out of jail, she was like, well, I took your boyfriend off to rehab. So we're, we gotta find you a place. And I had no intention of getting sober. I was like, I am not fucking getting sober. Like, I just wanna like, get high again, even though I've been kicking for days in jail. And it was like, they arrested me before the weekend. It was a three day weekend. I didn't even get like, it was literally like five days.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  And it was

• 29:11Bunnie XO?

  What was that like?

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Horrible. It was the worst experience. Like, the worst detox. Like the moment I got in there, there were girls in there that had actually, you know, they're drug addicts too, or whatever. They'd been through it. Like, oh, what are you kicking? And I'm like heroin. And she's like, oh, okay. And she's like, smoking or shooting? And I was like, smoking. And she's like, oh, you're fucked. And I was like, what do you mean? She's like, it's way worse detox. So it gets in your bones. It gets in your lungs. It gets everywhere. She's like, you're gonna

• 29:36Bunnie XO?

  Then shooting?

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Shooting's way cleaner.

• 29:40Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:41Bunnie XO?

  I would never known that.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I didn't either. So I was there, sitting there like, oh, cool. Like

• 29:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, thank you bitch. Thank you for the anxiety.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Um, and it was just like days of just being, like puking and shitting. You don't know what to end up putting in the toilet. You're like, completely just like, uh, hallucinating. My skin was coming off.

• 30:03Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  It was weird. Like,

• 30:09Speaker 02

  talking after you're getting over a sickness too is like,

• 30:13Speaker 02

  so hold on, I gotta pull my shorts out of my vagina. These shorts have been doing this to me all day. It's been very uncomfortable.

• 30:19Bunnie XO?

  How is those shorts? I'd wanna be in your vagina too. Oh, well, come on down.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  So, yeah, I detoxed for a few days and it was horrific. Went to court, threw up the whole way to court on the bus. Um, everyone was lifting their feet because the whole bottom of the bus was full of my puke.

• 30:39Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  You know, their guys were on the bus too. And they're all hitting on me still. They're like, so where are you gonna? I'm like, dude, are you fucking serious right now?

• 30:46Bunnie XO?

  Guys don't care. They're like, Like fucking just give it to me.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Especially those types. They were like hand, they were like giving me little, you know, they had like little pencils. They had like smuggled. They're giving me like their, you know, number to write, write them. And I was like, one was cute, but the point is.

• 30:58Bunnie XO?

  Right up your alley.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Potential there. No, so basically I got to court my, like I said, I was deaf, like I could not hear, like it was so weird. All the shit like went into my ears. And I was throwing up on the courtroom floor. I was, you know, locked with another girl. And he was like, man, like everybody, even my public defender, like she came to my cell, this woman that's like a public defender was like, I want your mother's number. And I was like, what do you mean? Like, she's like, I'm gonna call your mother, like your teeth are gonna fall out. Like it was the weirdest thing. All these people actually gave a shit that you usually don't, you know what I mean? Like.

• 31:35Bunnie XO?

  Well, they could see that.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  I think they could see, well, first it was my first like real offense.

• 31:40Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  And like I, you know, I was attractive. You could tell and you could just tell I was on that road. And they were just like, fuck, this girl's gonna fucking ruin her life.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  And um, she ended up calling my mom and telling her everything. And I was like, this is fucking lame. What is this?

• 31:56Bunnie XO?

  You're like, I'm a grown ass bitch. What's happening?

• 31:58Speaker 02

  Happening. Um, and so my mom was waiting when I got out of jail and then she basically convinced me to go to um, to Orange County, which is where I'd have to go to court all the time. She's like, you can't leave Orange County. You'll never go to court. You're gonna get, you're gonna reoffend, you know?

• 32:12Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Um, and so I'm like.

• 32:14Bunnie XO?

  That's awesome that your mom had your back.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, she really did. Um, and I was just like, oh, fuck, you know, like, and of course my mom didn't know what, what drug addiction was like that, like her alcoholism is drug addiction. So we were all at the thing and she gave me like some wine to sleep. Which I mean, I probably needed to be honest. She's putting me in rehab. She's like, you're on a rehab the next day.

• 32:33Bunnie XO?

  She's loving you the way that she knew.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, she was trying to figure out how to like knock me out. Cause I was still kicking. We're like, I remember sleeping in bed next to her and I was hallucinating so bad that I, thought we were on a pirate ship and the sheets were like the masks. And I was like, you're not able to sleep. You know what I mean? You go from being on heroin to being highly alert, like your brain doesn't sleep anymore. So it was just the weird.

• 32:54Bunnie XO?

  It's like it puts a cloak over you.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. So she was trying to give me, she had like little pills too. She's like, you take this. I'm like giving me shit. I think she was trying to keep me from taking off.

• 33:03Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  So. We ended up, um, some lady in the lobby told her of a place called the Rock Center. And it was like, um, in, in Garden Grove, it was like this, like low bottom indigent rehab, you know? Uh, it was a really dope place. I, I had a blast. It was basically like, you know, being in a coed, uh, like a college full of dirt bags, you know what I mean? Which is perfect for me. Like, we had a really good time.

• 33:27Bunnie XO?

  That's what I tell everybody whenever my parents admitted me into the mental hospital. I was like, I found my people. I had the best time there.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  It was so fun.

• 33:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Everyone was like, I was the craziest person, which kind of was a letdown. I'm not gonna lie. At first I was like, now I'm like super sane, but like at that time, coming out like I was on another level. Like everyone was like, whoa, like they're making, they're like, dude, you're not gonna make it. You're, you're about, you're like a foot out the door. There's no way you're not gonna get discharged. You know what I mean? And they were just, cause I was like, you know, in there just, I, I was weird for one, you know, I said weird shit. Like really weird shit. I would talk about death a lot. I did a lot of like burning myself and like, you know, telling people about it, which is not, you know?

• 34:11Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  But I was trying to like, kind of fill that void, you know what I mean? And the boys there weren't that cute, but they all looked cute to me at the time.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  And I didn't bang any of them, but I didn't make out with all of them.

• 34:24Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  I was like making out with everybody. Um, it was like trying to keep myself.

• 34:29Bunnie XO?

  I just wanna feel something.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, give me something.

• 34:31Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Um, and then, you know, at that point, I ended up, I ended up making it. Part of the reason was because they said I wasn't gonna make it. And I don't like anybody telling me what I'm not gonna do. So I did make it.

• 34:42Bunnie XO?

  Is that a challenge? Challenge accepted.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:45Bunnie XO?

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• 35:30Bunnie XO?

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• 35:52Speaker 02

  Um, I ended up at the Sober Living upstairs. I manage the Sober Living, which is basically you just log people in and out. It's not really managing it, but I was like in charge. So I was actually trusted, which was new. Got a little car.

• 36:06Bunnie XO?

  Where's your boyfriend at this time, still in rehab?

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that guy.

• 36:10Bunnie XO?

  Just like I was making out with the dude.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Because I was, well, yeah, I was, I was so on another level. And, and it was funny because we dropped him off at rehab before he went to take me. And me and him were making out in the lobby. I had vomit in my hair from, and he was like, I love you. And I was like, yeah, you know, like this whole thing. And then like I got to rehab and I was devastated. All I talked about, I love you and he's the love of my life and all this shit. And the second, like, we hung out and I was sober. And like, I was just like, he would do weird shit.

• 36:40Bunnie XO?

  Gave you the ick.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. And it was just, it was messing with me because the poor thing, he really did love me. You know what I mean? He was like, he, everything was fine. He didn't change. You know what I mean? Like, but I was just like, I didn't feel it all anymore.

• 36:52Bunnie XO?

  Well, the veil was lifted.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like, I never had fallen in love with him.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  I knew I wasn't, even when we first started dating, I knew he was just pretty. And he was, and he was fun. You know what I mean? And he was wild like me, but I was like, with the drugs, you think you're in love. You know what I mean? So I was like, back to that where I'm like, I don't want to have sex with you.

• 37:14Speaker 02

  And I didn't know.

• 37:15Bunnie XO?

  I don't want to go back to smoking cat turds.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, and I probably that had something to do with it. You know, like subconsciously, you know, you're like, oh, I don't want to go back to that life.

• 37:23Bunnie XO?

  Right. Well, it just reminds you of all the shit you just went through.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, um, I ended up meeting someone else there. And then we ended up together and that was like, started out really great. Um, we were both sober. We both sponsored people. We both did like the whole thing. And then, you know, he started going out, you know what I mean? And that's when things got shitty. You know what I mean? Because like I wanted to stay sober. Um, I even relapsed on alcohol with him at one point. And then I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like first of all, I'm the designated driver. Um, I, you know, this isn't what I want to do. Like I, we would go out and like, you know, I would drive and he would get to drink. And so I was like, this isn't fun for me.

• 38:05Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? So I was like, and then he started getting worse. He started doing other things and he brought coke home and I was like, okay, I'm done.

• 38:12Bunnie XO?

  Oh, it was just a fucking spiral.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  So I literally was like, I'm just gonna, like, we're gonna stop. You know what I mean? Altogether. Um, and actually I think he pushed it even further. He disappeared one night and he never did anything like that. And so all night long, I didn't know where he was, but he's, you know, he was definitely like a puppy dog type. So he would like hit me up every once in a while, like to tell, like most guys would just disappear. And I was like, I could get a hold of him enough to know he was alive and I was able to get out of him where he was.

• 38:39Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  So then I came and grabbed him.

• 38:41Bunnie XO?

  What was he doing?

• 38:42Speaker 02

  He was with, um, he, well, he was working the WeHo crowd. And some guy, they had, doing a bunch of fucking meth and like the dude was paying him to hang out. I don't fucking know. You know what I mean?

• 38:52Bunnie XO?

  He was getting the old trombone.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  No, I don't think he was doing that. But like, you know what I mean? Like I, I know shit gets, I know shit gets weird.

• 38:59Bunnie XO?

  On meth especially.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:01Bunnie XO?

  With dudes.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  They say you're only one, you know, one unit away from experience, but.

• 39:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 39:07Speaker 02

  So I was like, but either way, the thing I was concerned with was like, why is he out all night? What's going on? So of course, you know, and I went into full borderline episode, which I hadn't had in forever. You know, like, I'm like, I waited with the extension cord. I'm like beating him with the extension cord. Like I was going, losing my mind. And then I went.

• 39:23Bunnie XO?

  Cause he triggered your abandonment issues.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  So bad. And then, um, I went, and then I started doing like the self harm thing in myself in the bathroom. I was like, what is happening?

• 39:32Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  That's when I was like, no more alcohol, nothing. I'm even gonna stop doing it. We went back to meetings. And then it came back around again. It just, it, it kept being like me trying to save this person who was just constantly going out. And I was like, I had to basically make a choice. You know what I mean? Like, either I stay sober, or this guy's gonna take me out, you know?

• 39:52Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Which was the best decision ever, because then I was able to like, actually work on me, kind of, because I met someone else instantly, but that's a Libra thing.

• 40:01Bunnie XO?

  There's a pat- no, it's a trauma thing.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. So the guy I'm with now, um, I met right out of that relationship. And we're actually like, business partners and stuff. So it's like, it, it works really well.

• 40:13Bunnie XO?

  Warbucks.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:14Bunnie XO?

  Shout out Daddy Warbucks.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Daddy Warbucks. Um, and you know, it just kind of works out because we're both, first of all, he doesn't, he's basically me with a penis.

• 40:24Bunnie XO?

  How did you meet Aaron? Are we allowed to use government names?

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. He, um, he hit me up, um, on Instagram, and I had like, 5,000 followers. And he was like-

• 40:32Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, let's talk about how you got into your, your Insta-thought-dom.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  Yes. So, um, he was like, hey, um, why do you only have 5,000 followers?

• 40:43Bunnie XO?

  That's such an Aaron line.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  And I was like, and I was, thought he was gonna hit on me, and he wasn't. And he was like, I have this thing I want to start that's like a Snapchat premium, where you have like, multiple girls, and like, they pay for your Snapchat, and you could get like, $10,000 a month. And at that time, I was like, $10,000 extra a month? Like, man, I was like, jerking dudes off for that. You know what I mean?

• 41:07Speaker 02

  But, you know.

• 41:07Bunnie XO?

  Ew.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Um, only jerking off, though.

• 41:11Bunnie XO?

  Nobody here judges.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Only the hand is a slut. I like to touch Aaron with it.

• 41:17Bunnie XO?

  Like it's your wooden paw?

• 41:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:19Bunnie XO?

  Like it's made of stone?

• 41:21Speaker 02

  I'm always like, I'm such a clean girl with this hand. No.

• 41:24Bunnie XO?

  That's all right. I was not.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  So- Yeah, he, he was like, well, would you do a Snapchat takeover for me? He had a big Snapchat that was like eighty K Snapchat, which was huge at that time, you know?

• 41:36Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  And I was like, I don't know what that is, but I'm willing to do it. And he's like, you just go on there and answer questions and do whatever. And he's like, you should have like millions of followers. You're like really hot, you know, like you could make money. And I was like, you know, he's like, he's like,

• 41:50Bunnie XO?

  It was the first dude that actually like saw your value monetarily.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, and yeah, cause nobody else saw that. I was like over at the strip club shackled for some pussy like.

• 42:03Bunnie XO?

  Fall, Pete, the fall.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, had my little blind man glasses on. Yeah. So he was like, you know, let's, he's like, let's work on this. And he's like, grow your Instagram. And I like, he didn't even know what to do at that.

• 42:16Bunnie XO?

  You're like, okay, how?

• 42:17Speaker 02

  I know. I was like, how do I do that? He goes, well, take some good pictures. And I was like, okay. And he's like, not the ones you're taking. Those look terrible. He's like, you gotta go to like a really good photographer. Like he was trying to guess. And so I started lining up photographers. Started like just posting pictures and then he made a separate account. That's where Viking Barbie account was born. Like I had the Kaylee account, then he made the Viking Barbie account. And he's like, what do you want your name to be? And I was like, well, I usually say Viking Kaylee or Viking Barbie. Like I've had that a bunch of times.

• 42:42Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  And it used to be Norco Barbie. So I think we can just do Viking Barbie now.

• 42:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  And so he was building that one. I was building and we were like both. And then I just started doing both. And it started like, it grew, you know, I did a.

• 42:55Bunnie XO?

  Expeditiously.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I grew. Uh, it started with Karma RX. That's my wife.

• 43:01Bunnie XO?

  We love Karma. Shout out Karma. We met, I met Karma through Kaylee.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Yes. And she was the first collab I did. Uh, girl, girl. He's like, oh, this chick's making like sixty grand a month. You know, or forty grand a month on Snap. He's like, this is the person you should talk to. She's dating like a friend of mine or something. And I was like, okay. I'm down. You know what I mean? So like I met her, we talked on the phone for four hours, the first night we talked.

• 43:27Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  And like, we were like basically in love. And so I was like, when we met, like, we were just inseparable ever since. I mean, it's been like six years. You know what I mean? And we're just constantly like, you know.

• 43:36Bunnie XO?

  Which karma and I have the same birthday, so it makes sense.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:40Bunnie XO?

  She literally is a day before me.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  I have a thing with, I'm, I'm a Libra, so Aquarius, and I've got Aquarius.

• 43:44Bunnie XO?

  No, but you're a Scorpio Libra. That's why you're a cusp.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Every single astrologer is like, you're basically a Scorpio.

• 43:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I can see it.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, um, so that, that happened, then my account started growing, we started bringing other girls on. I start, he goes, hey, I don't want to be the weirdo who's like training these girls. Would you be down to manage them?

• 44:03Bunnie XO?

  I don't want to be the creep in the corner.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  I feel weird doing it. They're gonna think it's like a weird thing. He's like, he saw me managing the stripping agency for the guy that, that I was working for.

• 44:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  He just like went like little Donald Duck eyes. And he was like, hey, could you do that for me?

• 44:16Bunnie XO?

  Dollar signs.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I started doing that, um, training the girls, teaching them what I do, showing them how to grow a brand, all that stuff. And I just knew, like instinctively with this job, apparently was really good at selling and like, like being, getting creative ideas. Like, I'm very creative. I'm just not good at ripping people off. I wish I was because I would be so mu- I would be richer, but I'm just not good at it. Like, I'm very, what you see is what you get.

• 44:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  And like, this is what I got to sell? You know what I mean? Like, you're not gonna see me trying to trick you. You know what I mean?

• 44:45Bunnie XO?

  Dollar for a pussy lip.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, except for when I say it's the gardener.

• 44:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, it's really not the gardener, guys.

• 44:55Bunnie XO?

  Jay and I did, we used to do what you guys do. We kind of ripped it off of you guys whenever I had the OF when I first started it.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  I watched it.

• 45:02Bunnie XO?

  And it is so funny. And it is so funny because people are like, that's not fucking the bellboy. You're like, ah, yes, it is.

• 45:12Bunnie XO?

  He's four hundred pounds, okay, guys?

• 45:13Speaker 02

  It's a fucking, you know.

• 45:15Bunnie XO?

  It's a fantasy.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Play. Like, come on, you know Johnny Sins is in a plumber.

• 45:18Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 45:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Like, but you know, it's kind of one of those, uh, yeah, anyways, he, um, he was down to do that stuff too. You know, like do shows with me and stuff, which was pretty cool.

• 45:28Bunnie XO?

  I mean, why wouldn't he be?

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Some guys are not like, I'm, you know, I couldn't do that. It's like weird or like, you know, um, but he's kind of a freak, you know?

• 45:35Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  He will never tell anybody. He's like, shh. But he's got Scorpio Venus, that's all I'll say.

• 45:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  Um, so he's like down to do that stuff, it works out. Um, but yeah, we grew the brand together. And, um, it just kind of took off from there. We had Violet Summers, she got huge. We, at the time, we had worked with like Allison Parker. She was huge at the time we worked with her.

• 45:55Bunnie XO?

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Um, and then, um, yeah, it.

• 45:59Bunnie XO?

  You guys have Dakota, Emily?

• 46:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, well Snap started dying. And I remember just thinking like, oh, okay.

• 46:06Bunnie XO?

  What do we do?

• 46:07Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? But I'm, I'm not, I don't trip though. Like, I'm just kind of like, alright, on to the next ho thing.

• 46:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  What else do I do? You know? And like, I wasn't.

• 46:15Bunnie XO?

  We're good at selling ourselves.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, and the reality is like, I was making so much money though. That's the one thing that was a little scary. Because I was like, whoa, how am I ever gonna make this much money? This is like ridiculous money, you know? He's not tripping because he's a businessman. So he's got like five things he's doing, you know what I mean? Like, he's not even worried about it. Um, but definitely, I was a little bit like, okay, what do I do next? You know? Um, and then OnlyFans and like all this stuff. And so we did our own platform before we ever went on OnlyFans.

• 46:43Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  And we were like gonna die on that hill.

• 46:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 46:46Bunnie XO?

  With nudies, right?

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're not doing OnlyFans, it's all about nudies. So we still have nudies, we still, uh, I still proposed everything, you know? You get all the videos for like a monthly and all that stuff. But then I was like, hey, can we get the girls like a free OnlyFans at least?

• 47:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, they're missing out on some money. And then he agreed to it. And then we all had like, so now it's just a whole thing.

• 47:06Bunnie XO?

  Just a fucking snowball of money.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then, and then I started rapping, which, you know, I know surprised people, but, you know.

• 47:14Bunnie XO?

  You've actually, you have a song with Tech N9ne. Like, let's not fucking diminish it. You.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  And I did a cover with Jelly Roll.

• 47:20Bunnie XO?

  Hello, I mean, we don't talk about Jelly Roll here. I'm just kidding.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it's.

• 47:27Bunnie XO?

  Just kidding, daddy, I love you.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, but basically like, um, and Crooked, Crooked Eye, he's pretty dope. He's like more of an underground type dude.

• 47:36Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I think he did something with Best Believe too, Dirtbag.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Yes. And, um, I, you know, I, I really want to get back into that too. I've been, I've been working on some stuff. Um, but you know, I, I kind of took a hiatus to heal.

• 47:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, let's talk about that. So I think what is so beautiful about this story too is, you know, not only have you fucking completely changed your life around, now after getting sober, becoming a businesswoman, fucking, you know, buying a house, doing all the things that fucking upstanding citizens do, you are now on a fucking healing journey. And I know everybody, I think it's like the cool thing now for everybody to say, I'm on my healing journey, but it's like, when you're on a healing journey, that shit's not fucking easy.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 48:22Bunnie XO?

  It's brutal. It's terrible. Like I literally did my first fucking heart chakra cleanse this week and this shit really works, dude. Like it's fucking crazy. Let's talk about your journey.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  So I started about a year ago. Um, what had happened was I kept going to therapists and they kept diagnosing me. Like I would talk my way into a new diagnosis every time I walked in and I was like,

• 48:48Bunnie XO?

  Which you've been diagnosed with what? Go ahead and tell people.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  Um, I was diagnosed as, uh, having borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. Um, which I was, which was news to me because I was like, um, what?

• 49:03Speaker 02

  I'm not the good guy though. You know what I mean? Like, and I really like,

• 49:05Bunnie XO?

  Spoken like a true narcissist.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Right. So like, I never, I never willingly went out, like, I guess during my bad years when I was on drugs, I did mean things to people, but I've always been like trying to help everybody. But I guess, you know, like I, I didn't know there was like other things, like the way I am in relationships and the way I deal with like a partner and things like that. So. Um, I was shocked, but I was willing to accept it. You know what I mean? I was like, alright, this is what I am. And then I started kind of accepting this story that, that was being told to me. It was like, oh, you're, you know, you're borderline, you're a narcissist. These are what they, this is what you do when you're this way. This is what you, you can't be cured. This is who you are.

• 49:46Bunnie XO?

  I hate that too. And that's why I've never gone to get diagnosed because I'd probably have the same diagnoses as you, but I just never wanted to believe that that defined me.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  I mean, and neither does any other narcissist, but the point.

• 49:58Bunnie XO?

  Exactly.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Like, that's not me, no.

• 50:02Bunnie XO?

  I'm the good guy, like you said.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  This is the thing. If your mind, and I've told you this before, I've said this to you before, if you're, if they have to use a placebo study every time they test a new drug, and the people that have the placebo effect, it's, it's actually not that different. They're like, well, there was slight, slightly elevated in the non placebo group.

• 50:20Bunnie XO?

  Right. Your mind is powerful.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Tells you how powerful. I mean, they've done studies where they've had someone work out, and then people pretend to work out in their mind, and there's only slight difference in the people who physically did it.

• 50:32Bunnie XO?

  Oh, well, fuck, I'm gonna start doing that every day.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Start imagining.

• 50:34Bunnie XO?

  Give me one of those VR things where I'm just like.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  No, it's a real thing. So like, I was like this, you know, if I keep telling myself this, it's gonna be, it's really gonna be real. It's gonna be ingrained. I started reading books about it. I was obsessing over it. Then I started noticing the behaviors being my out. You know what I mean? Where I'd be like, well, I'm just a narcissist. You know what I mean? And it was kind of funny and all that stuff until it's not funny because you're having a bad day or you're having like, you know, and then you start like, it's because I'm like this. It's because this is who I am, you know? And then you're treating everyone around you like shit because they're like, oh, hey, can, can you maybe take accountability? And you're like, I don't take accountability. I'm a narcissist.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, it just gets, it becomes a story, you know?

• 51:14Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  So, um, I met this guy Glenn, who obviously like you, I, you know, introduced you two to. Um, and he does like nervous system, like work on your nervous system. And he doesn't believe in any of that shit.

• 51:27Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 51:27Speaker 02

  And thank God.

• 51:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  Because it's bullshit, guys.

• 51:30Bunnie XO?

  We love Daddy Glenn.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  And I don't wanna like, I know I'll get heat for this because there's so many people are like, no, it's not a choice. And it's not a choice to like have those traumas. But I do believe, and this is my belief, and this is what I learned from him, is these are trauma responses and everybody can have a pattern of behaviors from these trauma responses.

• 51:51Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely, and I believe that too.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  So, and you can, you know, it's like, oh, the gray matter, the brain is, is affected if you're a narcissist. There's things that can improve gray matter.

• 52:00Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  You can do anything you want. You are the master. You're the alchemist. You could do whatever you want.

• 52:05Bunnie XO?

  No, literally, will whatever you want manifestation. We talked about it today.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  So I started going, I'm not those things. That's a behavior pattern. And we started.

• 52:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I was over here sipping on some scissor.

• 52:21Bunnie XO?

  It's a lot when you talk about your whole life, dude. It's crazy.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  It's been a while.

• 52:28Bunnie XO?

  It's a great story, though.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  So basically, he started like training me and reprogramming me and helping me reprogram myself to be like, hey, these are these personalities of defense that are coming out to protect your inner child. It's not you.

• 52:45Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  And because of that, their behaviors, and if they're behaviors, what can you do with behaviors? You can change them. You know, so I'm like, you know, that I basically just went into it like I believe this wholeheartedly. I believe it as hard as I believed those diagnoses.

• 52:58Bunnie XO?

  She went into it a lot easier than I did.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, she did not want to go into that dying light. She was just like.

• 53:04Bunnie XO?

  I was like, I'm just gonna fucking, I don't want to be gentle. I don't want to be soft. I still want to be me, but I want to heal.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  And that's the thing is like, he even says, you know, he always says it to you, I'm sure is like, you get to keep those parts of yourself. You, sometimes it comes in handy to be kind of a bitch.

• 53:19Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  You know, those are protecting you in some way. It's when you're being triggered and they're coming out and hijacking you. And that's what happens when you're having a narcissistic injury, narcissistic injury. And that's what happens when you're having a borderline episode. You know, it's your system being hijacked, you know, essentially. And, and it also, let me also add that like health and and diet and things like that play a huge part into it because it's hard to control your nervous system if you're eating things, you have inflammation, whatever, but that's another day.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, so I mean, after about a year of going through this nervous system, like we would go into my timeline and like find these triggers and like do these meditations. And like, I would just cry and it was like these crazy like releases and I would feel like a thousand pounds lighter. And then I started noticing the things that used to trigger me in those areas weren't triggering me so much anymore.

• 54:10Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  Because I was literally being re-triggered from something that didn't exist anymore. It was old.

• 54:14Bunnie XO?

  It's crazy, but like this shit really does work. When I did that heart, um, chakra thing the other day, fucking I balled my eyes out and literally everything that could possibly trigger me this week has came at me. And I've, I've maintained my cool and like my peace about all of it. Like it really does work when you are ready to just fucking submit to the universe. The universe has a funny way of softening you in the times that you need it.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you're never going to be like super, you know, Bunny's never going to be like, huh.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  That's not who you are. It's not who I am.

• 54:49Bunnie XO?

  But you can control how you respond.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Right. And that's, that is power, you know? And that's what I've realized. I've never felt more powerful than now. Like I feel like a fucking badass.

• 54:59Bunnie XO?

  Right. Being, being able to control your emotions and your nervous system, which I'm still trying to regulate my nervous system, but the emotions is just so powerful.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  When it like comes up and you're like, you can feel where it's at and you're like, ooh, what's that? And then it doesn't go here.

• 55:15Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 55:16Speaker 02

  And then I'm not going like, you're the problem. That's what would happen. Like when I would have a narcissistic injury, let me just go into that. You know what I mean? Somebody does something that I would perceive as a threat or disrespect or whatever. And it's someone that I'm supposed to love and my eyes literally go black because I'm not there anymore. I'm completely in the moment of this person's hurting my little guy. They're coming for me and I'm, release the hounds. And it's just like a whole like, I'll look you dead in the eyes and be screaming guttural, you know, like you're nothing.

• 55:52Bunnie XO?

  You are dead to me.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. Like, and there's been a few times where I've done it over something that's so ridiculous.

• 55:57Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. That was my thing. I had the shortest fuse.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  So short and Aaron, it was like, there was one time and he just sat there and looked at me and he was just like. Ah, I've never seen someone get so mad over something like this before.

• 56:12Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my husband had to calm me down a little bit earlier because like, like I said, this week has been fucking, everybody's been coming at me, but I, I mean, I think it was warranted me finally fucking standing up and saying enough is enough. But Jay has to calm me down sometimes and just talk sense into me. He's like, do you know who you are? Like, you gotta stop fucking responding to people.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  And it's hard because you, you feel, even if you don't want to think like it has some like attack on you, there's some part of you.

• 56:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 56:38Speaker 02

  That feels something.

• 56:39Bunnie XO?

  Well, when people attack my business.

• 56:41Speaker 02

  Right. And so that's something you have, you have self-worth about, you know what I mean? So I mean, there's so many things you can unpack.

• 56:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. Talk shit about me all day, don't care, can fucking, but come for my business. I'm like, no.

• 56:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:54Bunnie XO?

  No bitch. We're not playing.

• 56:55Speaker 02

  That's what's taking you out of the, out of the gutter though.

• 56:58Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  That's like, it's almost like, it's like family. You might as well, you know what I mean?

• 57:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. Don't talk shit about my sister. My mother.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. But, um, yeah, it's, it's very much like crazy to be able to see someone and then they try and someone will try and argue with your fight with you like they used to and they, they can't.

• 57:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  Because you're just like.

• 57:18Bunnie XO?

  You have a shield of protection.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  I'm just not here anymore. Like that, that person's not here anymore. Um, there are some things I still bad, you're always, you're not a hundred percent ever.

• 57:26Bunnie XO?

  Healing is a fucking lifetime dedication process. This shit, I don't know how people, when they're like, I'm healed because I'm never going to be healed.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, you're, the one thing about healing is you're self-aware now. You know what I mean? So you're able to go, fuck, I can't even act like this anymore because I already know. You know what I mean? So it's kind of one of those things where it's like, even Erin was saying like, hey, you didn't do the dishes. Like it's your turn. And like, I, I'm like a little brat.

• 57:53Bunnie XO?

  Right. Don't tell me what to do.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  And I don't like to do things. I don't do chores. I don't care if we live in filth. You know what I mean? Like, you know who I am.

• 58:01Bunnie XO?

  Bitch, I had maggots in the laundry. I smoked cat turds.

• 58:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. So like I get, and then he's like, hey, could you just, and he tries to ask me, and there's even that little moment where I feel threatened and I feel it happen, you know, like.

• 58:14Bunnie XO?

  I have that problem with authority too.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's like an authority thing, like, and you feel.

• 58:17Bunnie XO?

  And men, I don't like men.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  This guy's telling me like that I did something wrong. I'm bad is what I hear.

• 58:24Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  You know, but I know that's what I hear and I'm like, fuck. Okay. I'm sorry.

• 58:29Bunnie XO?

  Aww.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  But I say it. I say it, damn you.

• 58:35Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I think you and Aaron, are you and Aaron ever gonna get married?

• 58:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:38Bunnie XO?

  When?

• 58:39Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 58:39Bunnie XO?

  I wanna be a bridesmaid.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:42Bunnie XO?

  Just inviting myself to the wedding.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I always, I always joke.

• 58:44Bunnie XO?

  Actually, I wanna be the flower girl.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  I always joke with him when he wants to do another life step. He's like, we should probably get a joint account. And I'm like, when I get my money right. And I've been saying that for years and he's just like, fuck you.

• 58:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  It's like, I'm done.

• 58:55Bunnie XO?

  That's like how Jay and I are. We fucking, he's the same way. A life step. I love how you said that. When we do another life step.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, and that's the thing is most girls will be jumping to try and lock this one down.

• 59:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  This dude's like, he's just getting richer, you know what I mean? Like, I can't keep up with him.

• 59:10Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  You know?

• 59:11Bunnie XO?

  Hello? Yeah, I know the feeling. I used to make more money than my husband. Now I'm like the peon in the relationship. Here's my measly million.

• 59:21Bunnie XO?

  Fuck it. It's all I got, honey.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  That's literally what it's like. And, and I, and I'm all for it. Cause then it's like, man, just think of it. You have to be a pretty, big, bad, motherfucking man to be able to submit us to begin with.

• 59:34Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  And then also be in your masculine, be in that masculine level so much that we're also like, kind of putting our feminine, even rich.

• 59:42Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  Like, I can't be rich enough. I'm like, he's like, hey babe, I just said yes. Like two more twenty million dollar deals. I'm like, what? Like, how?

• 59:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. No, I stopped, I stopped keeping. I was just like, go daddy, go.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  I'll take pre-fitty.

• 59:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. I need my 10%.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:59Bunnie XO?

  I'm Ike Turner in this bitch.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, but the thing is like, money has just never been, I should probably care about it more, is the problem.

• 1:00:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  I'm gonna start manifesting it more.

• 1:00:07Bunnie XO?

  My focus, I'm trying to take my focus off money. I'm trying to be more in the moment and trying to, you know, cause literally just my sign, how I was born, and I know everybody's like, don't blame it on your sign, but I was just born to work, literally, you know? So it's really hard to fucking break that. So it's like, you know, fucking, I've just been money oriented my entire life. So this past year, I guess I've really tried to like dial back and try to like, take time off and try to fucking just, you know, let my OnlyFans go. That was fucking hard, dude, you know? But it's like, as you get older and on this healing journey, shit that mattered to you just doesn't matter anymore, you know?

• 1:00:47Bunnie XO?

  And you just want to be a better soul. It doesn't matter about material things. You can't take that shit with you.

• 1:00:53Speaker 02

  Also, I'm terrified of the universe. It's like...

• 1:00:56Bunnie XO?

  No, the you know, she is a scary bitch.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Gangster, like seriously, people I have, you know, friends that I talk to that aren't there yet. And they're just like, oh yeah, but I still want to do this. And I'm like, I don't want to play anymore.

• 1:01:09Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  She doesn't, she doesn't stop until you do what you're supposed to.

• 1:01:14Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  And so if you

• 1:01:15Bunnie XO?

  You'll get every lesson over and over and over again.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  Over and over and you'll have, it'll just hit you back to back and people like, everything always happens bad to me. And I'm like, that happened to me too. I stopped doing all that stupid shit and guess what?

• 1:01:27Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  Like now my life is amazing.

• 1:01:29Bunnie XO?

  Yep.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  It, it really works that way. It's not like some woo woo, you know what I mean? So it's like, and the moment I stepped away and was like, I'm done with this person or I'm done with this situation. And I really did let it go. Everything, it was like just abundance.

• 1:01:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  You know, but, and you know, when you're supposed to let something go and they say like, you're supposed to let it go. And it feels like you don't want to let it go the most.

• 1:01:52Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Like when you feel like you're holding on so tight, that's when you let it go. And I was like, that's how it was for me with everything that I moved forward and let go of.

• 1:02:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  Including my personality traits that I thought were my identity.

• 1:02:04Bunnie XO?

  That's where I'm at now. I'm starting to break down my, my aggression, I guess you could say, and trying to like mellow out a bit. Because I am so like just fucking control type A personality.

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  Always going to be terrified of you. Don't worry about it.

• 1:02:18Bunnie XO?

  It's not even that.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  Be a bad bitch.

• 1:02:21Bunnie XO?

  It's not even that. It's just that, that's the next step in my healing is, you know, I've, I've been working on all this other shit. So now it's like, it's time to, to break down the shit that I've been holding on to for so long, you know?

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  You can apply also to you, like remember that, have you seen that thing where they're talking about a dangerous man is a man that has the ability to inflict devastation, but chooses not to. I mean, it's no different for us, you know? I dare you. I've been, I've been throwing pennies in that wishing well many times, but at the, at this point, I'm like, I don't wish a bitch would.

• 1:02:56Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  Because I know who I am.

• 1:02:57Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  I know what I'm capable of and I don't want to do it.

• 1:03:00Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  I don't want to be there.

• 1:03:01Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  So I send everything out the way it is. And if the universe wants to send me somebody who want to play.

• 1:03:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. No, I know. Trust me. This week has been fucking tested, but I think we've done great. I think you've done great on your journey. I think that, you know, you are a role model. Like a lot of girls, and I think what I love about you too, is you're always mentoring women.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  I love women.

• 1:03:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. You're always.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Preferably some Eastern European ones with large breasts. I would love to mentor those.

• 1:03:30Bunnie XO?

  I call her trucker Tom. Because she loves big, just jumbly wumblies.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  I do.

• 1:03:36Bunnie XO?

  Saggy or the better. She loves.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  I like boobs.

• 1:03:41Bunnie XO?

  She loves them.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  But I do like, I love women in general and I think I've always been protective of women.

• 1:03:48Bunnie XO?

  You are. You're a good friend.

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  I, I feel like that's one thing that I've always, there's been moments I haven't been a good friend. So I'm not going to say, cause we all do that at times. But I do believe that like these days, it's kind of hard to beat.

• 1:04:01Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  I mean, like, I'm there for people. I don't always, I'm not always calling you. I'm not the one who's going to be there all the time.

• 1:04:08Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  But when I'm the one that if you need me.

• 1:04:11Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:04:12Speaker 02

  That's the person to call, you know?

• 1:04:13Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  And I think that's where it counts.

• 1:04:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. I love that about you though. Yeah. I love that. I love everything you do. What do you, what's next? What's next for you?

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  Um, well, I want to start getting creative again. Um, you know, I, I just want to get back into like my creativity. I did like a whole like astrology reading where we talked about my human design and like, I'm very sacral and that's where creativity is. And I haven't felt as creative during this whole healing process. So I'm trying to like tap into that and meditate to like, come on, bring me the ideas.

• 1:04:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  Get me back into idea mode because I'm such like an idea guy, you know? Um, and I have been getting them again and I just have to jump on them when I get them. Cause sometimes I'm like, oh, is that the one I was supposed to take, Laura? Come on, just do it, you know? Because. Sometimes when you heal, the thing they don't tell you about healing is how little you're gonna give a fuck about other shit.

• 1:05:06Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  You thought mattered.

• 1:05:08Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  So like the money, the obsessively trying to be better than everybody because you think you have to.

• 1:05:14Bunnie XO?

  Competitiveness.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  I just don't give a shit anymore. So I really need to find the the desire to to be creative and to do things because I love it and not from trauma.

• 1:05:24Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  And I think a lot of us girls who've done really well in in this world, it's a lot of trauma based girls who are just go, go, go, go, go. You know what I mean?

• 1:05:32Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  I don't want to be unhappy. I don't care how much money I have. I'm just over it.

• 1:05:38Bunnie XO?

  I love it, though. I love what you're doing. So you want to get more creative? What about music?

• 1:05:43Speaker 02

  I'm definitely gonna be going. I I just did a song with Savannah Dexter. I just have to get everything.

• 1:05:50Bunnie XO?

  You guys actually have one out on Savannah's Spotify.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  Bet you won't. She did. I featured on one and she put it on.

• 1:05:56Bunnie XO?

  And it's it's a bop, you guys.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's cute. It's a cute one.

• 1:06:00Bunnie XO?

  I love it. It needs to go to TikTok.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  Well, we're going to do a video at the same time for both our songs. So that's why I'm putting this one out. So we can do that. Even though she was like, oh, my God, this song's a little racy.

• 1:06:12Bunnie XO?

  Poor Sav. She's like our little sister that we're just like always fucking exposing her.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  I'm like, come here, little girl. Get on this track. And she's like, what did you just say? Pay me? Fuck me? Oh, God.

• 1:06:24Bunnie XO?

  You know, Bravo's over there fucking sweating bullets, just like, oh, shit. What did we fucking get her into?

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I mean, I just want to get back into it. And I think everything will just kind of flow. I know that Bear Yourself got, you know, it got pretty big.

• 1:06:38Bunnie XO?

  It went viral on TikTok.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  Viral like a few times.

• 1:06:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  And.

• 1:06:41Bunnie XO?

  It'll keep going viral. It's just one of those songs.

• 1:06:43Speaker 02

  I need to just post it.

• 1:06:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  This, you know, my thing.

• 1:06:46Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I know. I'm always telling her, put this on TikTok. Go on TikTok.

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  And I'm like, here's my boobs.

• 1:06:53Speaker 02

  You know, it's like the easy thing, you just pop out.

• 1:06:57Bunnie XO?

  Here's a titty.

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:58Bunnie XO?

  Um, well, I just love you and thank you for being my first guest in the fucking new studio out here.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  I love you too.

• 1:07:04Bunnie XO?

  I love you so much. Why don't you shout out where everybody can find you? Shout out your OnlyFans again and all your Instagrams.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  So, um, my OnlyFans.

• 1:07:12Bunnie XO?

  Viking Doll.

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  Viking dot, or Viking Doll dot VIP.

• 1:07:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  And then, um, and then my other account is VikingBarbie.com. That's, uh, Nudie's. Um, I've got a YouTube Viking Barbie Music and, um, my Instagram is Viking dot Barbie.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  So, tell, leave me alone.

• 1:07:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. So they haven't came for you for the name on Instagram?

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Not on Instagram because technically I'm not monetizing the name.

• 1:07:40Bunnie XO?

  Gotcha.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  So you're allowed to use a handle, but once you start monetizing it, that's why they came for my, my OnlyFans. But I feel like there's something I could do and this is the level. Like, can I change my name?

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  To Viking Barbie?

• 1:07:55Bunnie XO?

  I mean, yeah, that would be a loophole around it.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  I will do it.

• 1:08:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  That's the level. I'm willing to be petty.

• 1:08:03Bunnie XO?

  Like, if it's your name, is your name, like, what's Trisha Paytas doing with Malibu Barbie? Like, she named her kid Malibu Barbie.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:08:11Bunnie XO?

  So, so how, you know, I think Malibu has accounts and everything.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  What, Malibu Barbie can't make money off her name when she's older?

• 1:08:18Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. I'm sure she will be able to. We have to look into that.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:08:21Bunnie XO?

  We're gonna look into that. What's your TikTok? So people will go follow you. And you're on Spotify too?

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  Uh, TikTok I think is Viking dot Barbie too.

• 1:08:28Bunnie XO?

  Yes. Just Google Viking Barbie. You'll see her beautiful vagina, her tits.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  There's a lot of fakes on there. Go to my verified accounts.

• 1:08:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, my Tik, what was the other thing you asked?

• 1:08:39Bunnie XO?

  Uh, I think you're on Spotify, right? Under Viking Barbie.

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  Yes. Viking Barbie. I don't recall exactly.

• 1:08:47Bunnie XO?

  She's just here, ladies and gentlemen. She doesn't know what any of her shit is.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. Spotify, Apple Music, it's all over the place. They got some, some good jams.

• 1:08:55Bunnie XO?

  Well, I appreciate you and you need to come back in like another year. Let's not, when was the last time I had you on? Like three years ago? Two years ago?

• 1:09:02Speaker 02

  It was when we did, um.

• 1:09:05Bunnie XO?

  Music with Jay?

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:07Bunnie XO?

  That was the old studio, right?

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:12Speaker 02

  I was actually, when I came down that time, I was going through the worst depression I'd ever had.

• 1:09:16Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  I remember I was like crying every five minutes.

• 1:09:18Bunnie XO?

  That was so bad, girl. We were, we both went through a really bad fucking depressive shit. It was crazy.

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  Oof, I don't miss those.

• 1:09:26Bunnie XO?

  Me either, man. I'm fucking so thankful, so thankful. We love you guys. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.

• 1:09:38Speaker 04

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