Nelly Furtado: Embracing the Single Life (FBF)

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Nelly Furtado. Nelly opens up about her recent, painful breakup and shares how she’s having more fun being single and dating than she ever did in her past. She also reminisces on what inspired her most iconic songs and gives her take on break up sex, the importance of confidence, and what she calls “flingationships.” Enjoy!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

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• 1:30Alex Cooper?

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• 2:13Speaker 01

  What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

• 2:21Alex Cooper?

  Nelly Furtado, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 2:24Alex Cooper?

  I am so happy we are finally doing this. I'm the biggest fan. Thank you for coming today.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh, this is so fun. So I've only been here a few minutes. I'm having so much fun.

• 2:33Alex Cooper?

  I'm having so much fun. We have to tell the Daddy Gang, who are my audience, first of all Daddy Gang, Nelly's daughter is Daddy Gang. Can you tell me, what did she say when she found out that you were coming on Call Her Daddy?

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Well, she's been wanting me to come on the show forever. She's been talking about it since like we started making music for this album, some of it together. And, uh, and I was like, yeah, I mean, I love that. It'd be great. Like, your show's amazing. You're amazing. Love your energy. So she's thrilled. She's like, right on. And then I was like, oh, okay, you can come help me with that. So yeah. Her and her friend are here today. They're excited. She'd almost stayed in the room, but I was like, I'm just gonna be like, looking at her the whole time. So she's in the other room.

• 3:09Alex Cooper?

  It's so fun to have you here and it's so cool to like, know that your daughter is Daddy Gang. Meanwhile, I'm the biggest fan of you. So it's all coming full circle. Um, you've had such an incredible career, obviously. You've been in the spotlight. You've also made decisions to step out of it at times. Like, when are you at your happiest?

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. In general, in life?

• 3:30Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Oh my God. Probably when I'm like, at the park with my children, just kind of like pushing them on a swing or something. Or, but then, I'm also quite happy when I am kind of waving my freak flag at a concert and singing on, on my concert, on stage. Cause it's also my other chance to really be myself. Like, I do feel very myself when I'm on stage. Like, I'm like, this is my chance to just be as weird as I want to be. I fit in when I'm on stage, right?

• 3:59Alex Cooper?

  I think though, that's like, a relatable, somewhat relatable idea of like, we have these two sides to ourselves. Like, no one is just one dimensional, right?

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Not at all. And that is like, key. That is like, ah, yes.

• 4:12Alex Cooper?

  Would you say you're able to have somewhat of a normal life? Like, if you're at the park, are you at the park as like, mom Nelly? Or like, do people like, come up to you and are you?

• 4:22Speaker 01

  No, I am very good. I'm very chameleon-ic. Like, not only in my music, but like, in the way I look. So I can be, I, I like, You wouldn't, you wouldn't recognize me. I mean, sometimes I don't care. Like, sometimes a little, it depends what mood you're in, right?

• 4:35Alex Cooper?

  So true. Like, sometimes you're like, let's be social, and other times you're like,

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, but usually if I'm around my kids, like, I'm not really, yeah, I'm pretty, I don't really wanna kinda engage in that way.

• 4:44Alex Cooper?

  Okay, I have to know, because this is Call Her Daddy. What is the difference, in your opinion, dating Canadian men versus American men?

• 4:54Speaker 01

  This is such a good question. Now we're getting into juicy bits. Just so you know, all my friends know this about me. I love, love, it's my favorite topic. I try to set people up all the time. Poorly. I don't have a very good success rate, so they kinda roll their eyeballs at me, a little cupid. But I do love American men, I do. But I've found some interesting Canadians along the way.

• 5:13Alex Cooper?

  You have? I was gonna say, like, if you had to say.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Some high quality, yeah.

• 5:18Alex Cooper?

  What is your type?

• 5:19Speaker 01

  My type? Ooh, uh, it's changing.

• 5:23Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, my type is changing.

• 5:25Alex Cooper?

  Talk to me about it.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Well, I'm in my 40s now, so I'm about, I'm 45. I'll be 46 soon, which is, whoa.

• 5:31Alex Cooper?

  Love.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  And, um, it's like a new beginning for me. It's like a fun, a very fun time in my life because I didn't really get to be single in my 20s, right? I, I was pretty, like, locked down in relationships, like, from the time, not locked down in a negative way, but just like, you know, I was in relate, long-term relationships for much of my 20s and 30s. So only recently, I think in the last few years, I've become single again. It's so fun dating. I love it.

• 6:00Alex Cooper?

  You do.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  I do love it.

• 6:02Alex Cooper?

  Wait, Nellie.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Because it's on my watch when I feel like it.

• 6:05Alex Cooper?

  Right. You're like, on my terms, on my terms, boy.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  And it's like when you come correct, you know what I mean?

• 6:10Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  So now my type is like, come correct, you know, they ask me out on a date or for dinner, or just like, it's all, it's all in the way, you know, the words, you know, use, the, the sort of, um, yeah, I like confidence. I adore confidence.

• 6:26Alex Cooper?

  Not you saying, come correct, boys. Come correct, men. I'm obsessed. That's a great attitude to have, because I know I have a lot of single girls listening, and it's like, I think a lot of people want to have that, like, excitement towards dating.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Yes, but you have to enjoy being single authentically. You can't just say, oh yeah, I'm out here, I'm having fun dating. No, if you, if you're looking for a relationship, for real, then be authentic about that. But if that's not what you're looking for, ask yourself. What do you want, you know, and if you want to just have fun and see what's out there and, and, and that's fine, too.

• 7:00Alex Cooper?

  True. You just have to know what you want.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  But be real with it. Yeah.

• 7:03Alex Cooper?

  We're gonna talk so much more dating. First, I have to acknowledge there is another very famous musician that obviously is from Canada, who you actually performed with. Can you please explain how you ended up singing?

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:17Alex Cooper?

  I'm Like a Bird with Drake.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, Drake. Yes, we go way back. Actually, he just asked me to come sing again a couple nights ago. On Saturday night, he's like, he asked me at 11:00 PM to show up at 1:00 AM and I love him to death, but I was like, I am not showing up without glam.

• 7:35Alex Cooper?

  I thought you were gonna say like, I'm asleep.

• 7:38Alex Cooper?

  You're like, bitch, get me glam, then maybe I'll roll up.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  I was up, okay. I was up, but I was like, it was an event. It was like this really fun event in Toronto. And I was like, no, I can't show up without glam because of course, you know, he's so famous. It'll be everywhere.

• 7:51Alex Cooper?

  You're like, I want to have my beat on, okay? I want to show like, I'm snatched.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Fit outfit.

• 7:59Alex Cooper?

  Right, like you gotta come snatched to the gods with the lashes and the beat. You're like, babe, give me five hours.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 8:06Alex Cooper?

  So you just didn't go?

• 8:07Speaker 01

  No, I could, I couldn't make it that time, but you know.

• 8:10Alex Cooper?

  I'm obsessed.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  But anyways, yeah, I do, I do love him a lot. He's a great guy. And I think that, um, I mean, he's done a lot for the music industry. You know, Toronto was a secret for a long time, a secret that I loved as well, growing up there and making music there in my teens, my early twenties. But now it's just so nice. He kind of really put Toronto on a map in a different kind of way in Canada in general. But anyways, yeah, that's how that went down.

• 8:30Alex Cooper?

  The fact that you can be like, ah, Drake, like, I don't have my makeup tonight. Like, I'll pass on this one. Like, oh, my God, so baller.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  I know. I kind of wish I did though, because I saw a video and he looked pretty cute. He had a yellow tracksuit or something and he looked good. Yeah.

• 8:45Alex Cooper?

  Shout out Drake.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  But then I'm like, what would I have worn? Pink? Because it would have been all videos of yellow and then, you know,

• 8:51Alex Cooper?

  I love that you think of all this stuff.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  That's what, that's what performers do. We always think about what things like pop, especially in pop music. You think about what things look like too.

• 8:59Alex Cooper?

  I want to talk before you were a performer because like it is such a glamorous life and we get to talk about like the outfits and the fashion and all of it. But before you were famous, you worked as a housekeeper in a motel.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Yes, a chambermaid.

• 9:12Alex Cooper?

  Was that your first job?

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Well, that's a good question. My very first job was actually, um, it was the same year. I did like, I would jump over the fence. Um, at my childhood home and I would do filing for like a home inspection company. So I would, but I would, it was long hours. But, uh, it, it was helpful, I think, to just sit there and organize. And then I got a job at the motel. It was called the Robin Hood Motel. Yes. And my mom worked there, my sister, my aunt, my cousin. My mom ran the housekeeping department. She was like the head honcho there. And so she hired me and I would, every morning just show up. I mean, harder in the teen years when you're out the night before and then you get there at 6:00 AM and I'm like, where's the coffee?

• 9:55Alex Cooper?

  Right. Are you like, hello?

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And my brother was, uh, gardening there at the time too. So we'd be like Saturday mornings, like, okay. Um, but it was such a good experience because I worked there for probably 10 summers straight.

• 10:07Alex Cooper?

  Wow.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  I even worked there one summer when I thought, like after I graduated high school and I went to Toronto and thought I was going to be famous in two months. But reality, you know, like that's not how it works. Your goals take a while to achieve. Moved back home, worked there again that year when I was going to college in my hometown of Victoria.

• 10:25Alex Cooper?

  Oh my God.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  And that was the year I was like, oh, I wonder if my dreams will come true, you know? But growing up doing that was good because the work ethic, because when you get into this industry, woo, the hours can be long. When you're starting out, it's a lot of hustling.

• 10:37Alex Cooper?

  I wanted to talk about that though, because the juxtaposition of like being someone that is hardworking, working with your family and then you get famous. And I think everyone in the world now kind of has an understanding at least of like, when you get famous, people start treating the famous person differently. Right? Is there a moment that comes to mind when you really started to notice like, whoa, people are just treating me nice? Because I have all these things and I am famous now.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  That's an interesting question. I think for me in particular, my parents come from these like really, really like. Working class roots, like my parents are from the Azores Islands and a ti- from a tiny island called San Miguel, like from a tiny village, you know, farmers, you know, like just they were already like picking beans and like carrying their water from, you know, the main water fountain to home, like when they were like 10 or 11, you know what I mean? And they're already working at the farm by the time they're 12. And so that's my, that's where I come from. So you, you really can't get bougie on people when you come from those where you get canceled in your family.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  You can get canceled. So you can't, you can't even go there. Like I have no business like acting like I'm better than anyone because I know I'm not, you know, because I go and I'm humbled.

• 11:54Alex Cooper?

  I think that's so fun to hear though, because obviously like I didn't know that, but hearing that immediately, it does paint a better picture of like how you are so normal and like even talking to your daughter, like before you came in here. You're like, I need to start being bougie.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  I need to air.

• 12:11Alex Cooper?

  But it's, it's interesting, even talking to your daughter, how she was like, I grew up with like a very normal life because she had stepped kind of out of the spotlight. And now all the resurgence of everything and you coming out with this album and, you know, Tik Tok and everything. She's like, now I'm seeing my mom out there being like, oh, like, oh my God, that's Nelly Furtado. But it's cool to see that, like, you've been able to live a pretty normal life while also having this superstardom on the other side of your life, if that makes sense.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  You know what's really funny? Sorry, I have a story in my mind because she said, I remember, you know, be careful what you wish for, right? Because she's like, oh, mom, yeah, you should start working again. And then a year later, she's like, why are your hair appointments five hours long and your nail appointments are three hours? Like, like you've kind of become a diva, mom. My mom being like, well, but you know, this is my job.

• 12:57Alex Cooper?

  You're like, Sweeney, you know, mom, Nelly, now you're about to meet Nelly Furtado, the superstar.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  She said, what do you mean? You can't pick me up at the airport anymore. I'm sorry, my hair appointment went over. She was sorry, she was livid.

• 13:10Alex Cooper?

  I'm obsessed. Oh my God.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  It's like, well, you want a mom to be back at work here. This, I'm doing my thing.

• 13:15Alex Cooper?

  I'm back to work, babe.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  It's what it takes. Yeah.

• 13:18Alex Cooper?

  That is amazing. She's like, god damn it.

• 13:37Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. As you guys know, I have basically been working double time throughout this pregnancy to bank episodes for the month that I will be on maternity leave. And a few weeks ago, it all just kind of hit me. I was like, wait, wait, wait, where did summer go? And I was talking about this with Matt and he ended up surprising me with a little staycation. He booked this beautiful home on Airbnb in Malibu so that we could pretend like it was summer while it's still warm here in LA. The weather was perfect. The house was right on the beach, which was so relaxing and amazing. It also had just such a gorgeous kitchen. We stayed in, we cooked dinner together. And you know, daddy gaining my cooking skills, they have,

• 14:21Alex Cooper?

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• 15:04Alex Cooper?

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• 17:14Alex Cooper?

  So everything is in one place for the daddy gang. So, ready to add entrepreneur to your list of accomplishments? Head to Shopify.com/daddy. That's Shopify.com/daddy. I read that magazines used to edit your photos by lightening your skin and changing your body.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:33Alex Cooper?

  How did that affect you back then?

• 17:34Speaker 01

  It's so funny because I always find it interesting what people cling to in stories. So I did a real, like a general interview about, uh, with my daughter for people. But then that became a thing like, oh, this is the story. But then I realized, oh, I get it. It's like, I wrote a song about it in 2003. I think it was my second album. And yeah, it kind of, it's called powerless. And it's like, paint my face in your magazines, make it look lighter than it seems. Paint me over with your dreams, like shove away my ethnicity. So at the time. It's more about the idea of, okay, wait, like, I'm in this bit, like, when you're young and you're twenty-two, twenty-three, it's like, it's a whirlwind, right? Like, all of a sudden, becoming successful at the career you always dreamed of.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  And you, you know, if you're in it for the music, like I always was, um, I think that all that other stuff with the visuals and the aesthetics and the, oh, wow, they, they, they like you and you look great on the red carpet and, but then the opposite is true as well and just kind of questioning it all, but, um, it is true. Yeah, I'd bring my own clothes to photo shoots because I was like a girl, like I was twenty-one, twenty-two, young girl. But yeah, you'd see, eh, at the time, I think, yeah, the beauty standard was a bit different. So I think that they would Photoshop a lot and just kind of like, oh, I thought I had hips or my little bit. But it's, it's hard anyways, because when you see yourself on TV for the first time, you know, you always look different on the camera. And it can be a little jarring, like, to be on TV and, uh, in, at the spotlight that much at a young, at a young age, I guess, so.

• 19:03Alex Cooper?

  When you look back, like, because obviously, like, I think it's helpful, like, I get what you're saying. You're like, wait, I did such a long interview and that's the one thing people picked up on. I think, no, I know. No, but I, but I think it's, I get what you're saying. It's like, that, I think for a lot of people now pick up on things because people finally do feel more comfortable to talk about things that were kind of like, hey, that was kind of a weird decision. Like, am I not good enough as me? Like,

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:28Alex Cooper?

  When do you?

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 19:30Alex Cooper?

  When you look back, like, when did you feel your most confident when you were younger?

• 19:35Speaker 01

  You know what's so funny? I feel the most confident now.

• 19:38Alex Cooper?

  What do you think that is?

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 19:40Alex Cooper?

  Wow.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  It's now. I don't know. Something happened. I don't know. I just had like, I had the forties glow up. I was just like, wow, I just feel like me, you know? I feel like, I know what happened. I had time to work on my inner life, you know? I had time to work on the things you don't have time to do when you're busy, right? And then you, you know, when you're burnt out and you don't get to journal, you don't get to, you know, go to therapy, you don't get to go do those things. But I had, I had a good time of three or four years of doing that. So I think by the time I got to this stage in my life, um, yeah, I just feel. Um, super happy with myself. Um, even when I get criticized, you know what I mean?

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Like I, like even, I mean, who doesn't read the comments sometimes, right? It's hard not to. I think it's human nature to go, oh, what are people saying?

• 20:31Alex Cooper?

  Of course.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  And then you're like, wow. Certain things, right? Like I feel like me personally have experienced like my body's polarizing. You know what I mean? Which is so, it's crazy to say that, but it is. Because I see like, oh, wow, why did? It's, it's like, wow, there's a lot of like comments and people arguing about like what I look like. Or like, you know what I mean? It's so interesting what uh fuels and, and triggers people. But I think at the end of the day, it can be really positive. Cause you're starting conversations and that comes from confidence. And I think that's what it is. It's like when you, when you are confident, I don't know what it is, but I guess sometimes it could be threatening or very empowering.

• 21:10Alex Cooper?

  I think sometimes, yes, like people online are like so triggered by certain things, which is interesting because you never know what's gonna trip people up. And the fact that you're saying like, my body is so polarizing, like, why do you think that's been?

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, my body's changed a lot. I've had three kids, uh, I'm curvy, you know? And I have a curvy body and like my, if you go to like where I'm, where my parents are from, from San Miguel, my body's no big deal. Like everybody, every girl on the beach has the same bum that I have.

• 21:42Alex Cooper?

  I love it.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  It's true though. So it's all context and just maybe they're comparing you to another era when maybe you looked different or anything like that. Um, but I've had fun with it because I've been wearing very body con clothing and it's very empowering. And I just kind of, I love, I love feeling this confident. You know, I, I literally didn't even wear underwear on stage till like a year ago.

• 22:04Alex Cooper?

  I'm obsessed.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  Not even, it's only been six months. I only let the booty out like six months ago.

• 22:09Alex Cooper?

  I'm obsessed. Natalie, I appreciate talking about that.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Twenty-five years into my career.

• 22:13Alex Cooper?

  I love it. I love that you're talking about that though, because I do feel like people tell you like, oh my God, your twenties are gonna be the best years of your life. And as much as those are really fun years, I do think the amount of women that I get to speak. To it is very inspiring to hear like, no, it actually only gets better because you do get to know. When you're young and you're 20, as fun as you can have, you don't fully know yourself yet. You haven't fully lived enough to really like know what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you like uncomfortable. And it feels like I've now had enough conversations with these like really inspiring women to be like, oh bitch, it only gets better. Like get ready, like get ready for your 30s, get ready for your 40s, get ready for your 50s. Like that's really exciting.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz you learn, you know yourself and then you can kind of look back and not laugh at yourself, but find things charming like, oh wow. Like even in my 30s seems like a lifetime ago, you know what I mean?

• 23:04Alex Cooper?

  But each decade is so beautiful, but I kind of feel like as women, like we just get more confident. And when you can block out the noise of all the comments that are negative, it's like, oh yeah, bitch, my booty looks amazing. Bye. Like get out of here.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  When I was 37, I had like a flingation ship. I just coined this term.

• 23:21Alex Cooper?

  Wait, sorry.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Flingation ship is like a fling relationship. So flingation ship?

• 23:26Alex Cooper?

  Of love.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  With someone who was 23 and at the time it was just like, it wasn't that big a deal, but like I had, I was contextualizing it in my mind like, oh, that's so interesting. Cause your perspective continues to change as you get older and you reflect on different things in your life differently. Like my new album just came out, but I was listening to the one before it, not this one. So it's like a diary. So you can go back and go, and so for me, music is a diary. So it's kind of fun. It makes it fun.

• 23:53Alex Cooper?

  Let's talk about some of your iconic songs.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, sorry about songs.

• 23:56Alex Cooper?

  Okay, first I just want to discuss, I'm like a bird is such a classic. What inspired that song?

• 24:02Speaker 01

  I'm like a bird was inspired by, I was in a relationship in my very early twenties, right? It was kind of like a first relationship, kind of first kind of more like very serious relationship. After my long, sort of long-term high school boyfriend, it was the next relationship after that. And yeah, I was in a relationship and I was out in Los Angeles finishing my album, kind of on my own. I was very isolated. I was probably 20. I was 20 or 21 or something. Out there, kinda in this little apartment.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Just working on music and my collaborators were kinda older than me and they had their girlfriends and their wives out there. But not me, so it was a bit lonely and um. They're like, okay, write some new songs, you know, and bring them into the studio. I think it was our first day working in LA trying to finish my album after having made the rest of it in Canada. And I was sitting on a sofa. At the time, this place was called the Oakwood Suites here in LA. And uh. You'd go to the gym and you'd see like, I don't know, like kids, I guess, who are doing, I don't know if they're working with Disney or what they're working, but you know, it was the place that. People went to make their dreams come true, where they would stay when they weren't yet living in LA.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  So I sat on a sofa and picked up my guitar and I wrote three songs that day. And uh. And the third one I wrote was I'm Like a Bird. And I'm telling you, the one I wrote before was trash. It was a really bad song. Really corny, not good. And you know, yeah, you you never know, you might just be on the edge of something good, you know? Do you remember like the, when you played it for everyone like on your team? Like was everyone like? My manager was at the studio, yeah. My manager, Chris, was at the studio and and and he's like, oh, okay, I want to hear what you wrote today. So I played him the three songs. And I was convinced the corny one was good. It was really bad. I can. I can sing it. Wait, please sing it for me.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  It's really crazy. No. But anyways, so. How corny are we talking? Alright, so this is the one that I thought was better than I'm Like a Bird.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  It goes. Okay, wait. It's like. He was cocksure and I was a pussy, had it in the corner, I couldn't come out. He was cocksure and I was a pussy, had it in the corner, I couldn't come out.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  And I think the end was like, here kitty kitty, like I swear to, I'm not even kidding. I thought that was better than I'm Like a Bird, which I then was the third song on the the demo that I'd made that morning. No. And my manager said, I don't know, yeah, okay, I think I think the bird one's really good. They both had bird themes. One was cocksure, it's like a rooster.

• 26:55Alex Cooper?

  I am literally like

• 26:56Speaker 01

  A little zany.

• 26:57Alex Cooper?

  No, this is like the best thing I've heard all day. To know that it was between like a cock and a pussy versus a bird.

• 27:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:04Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my God. Watch that literally trend on TikTok now and people are gonna cup that.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  Isn't it funny though? Cause I actually forgot about that till like, like a couple of months ago. And I was like, whoa, that's crazy that I'd written a very horrible song and a song that might be quite good right after.

• 27:20Alex Cooper?

  I mean, I'm like a bird is, I feel like forever going to be iconic. I'm curious, because that song is so inspiring, right? Have you ever walked away from someone that you felt like was holding you back? Like in a romantic relationship?

• 27:34Speaker 01

  Well, that song was about that. So that song, I did, I did wanna, I did wanna break up, you know, with that guy. So, so I kind of wrote the song.

• 27:42Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my God, did you write the song and then break up with him?

• 27:44Speaker 01

  Well, I sent it to him and he, and he, and he said, hey, I feel like I heard the song.

• 27:52Alex Cooper?

  Like, what's up? Nellie.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did.

• 27:57Alex Cooper?

  So you, no context, you just sent him the song?

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Well, I was like, oh, this is my latest thing. Yeah, no, but no, I think I ended up that, I ended that relationship on tour. But it was literally, it wasn't very, it was like from a payphone, you know, on tour, like I was with my band, you know, like it was one of those moments. But it's very normal. It's kind of like, you know, your college boyfriend or something, you know? And then you move on. So that was my college is like making music and touring. So I only did one year of college. So then I met him around that time. So, yeah, I had to make my dreams come true.

• 28:31Alex Cooper?

  You had to.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  I had things to do and places to be, so.

• 28:34Alex Cooper?

  But like not like about as sad as it is to get broken up with for him. It is kind of iconic that there is a man out there that can be like, that song is about me. Like, that is pretty fucking cool. I'm sorry, like I would take that song being written about me. Icon, icon. Historically, are you usually the one ending relationships or are you?

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Oh, I like this question. Um, I've been dumped before.

• 28:58Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, only once. It is a flex. No, that's not true. Two or three times, but more like when I was younger. But, but yeah, like I being. Having your heart actually broken by someone that doesn't want to be with you anymore really hurts really badly. Yeah, it's really, really upsetting. And I hadn't experienced that till like much later in life, till quite recently in the last five years. And that was really hard for me because I wanted to hang on. I wanted to hang on and I didn't get it. And I had built up a lot of expectations and things. Based on things that maybe were more about me and selfishness, right? And then it was like, okay, like, when do I come to grips with reality? But I've also left, yes, I've, I've been the.

• 29:38Alex Cooper?

  Ender.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Breaker upper, yeah.

• 29:39Alex Cooper?

  Do you think it's easier to be the person breaking up or getting broken up with?

• 29:45Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 29:48Alex Cooper?

  It's hard.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Easier to break up with someone than to have somebody dump you. Being dumped is the worst.

• 29:55Alex Cooper?

  It is pretty hard, I think.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  No, no, no, it's the best, though. Because then you throw, because then you go, it's that whole thing. Like, you gotta hit dirt, man.

• 30:04Alex Cooper?

  You gotta hit.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  You gotta hit rock bottom. I have hit rock bottom before and it's, it's beautiful because then I just come out so strong. And it's good. And I'm not saying it's like perfect. And I'm like, oh, you know, we, we, we wear our wounds, don't we? Like, our wounds never really go away, I don't think. We can work on them. You know what I mean? We can work on them, but like, that's okay, you know, you have stuff to deal with, stuff to work through, but um. But yeah, I think, I think it could be a good place.

• 30:31Alex Cooper?

  Love.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Bottom of like, oh, you know what I go back to a lot?

• 30:35Alex Cooper?

  Oh.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  He's just not that into you. Just look up, if you're ever struggling with somebody who's broken up with you, or somebody, even anybody, a flingation ship. Something like that. And you feel they're not giving you the attention you want and, and something's off. Just like, go look up quotes from, he's just not that into you. It is so healing.

• 30:55Alex Cooper?

  Do you that often?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  I've done it before, I think twice in my life. Where I'm like, oh.

• 31:01Alex Cooper?

  Humbling.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  It's good. It's good stuff. Me too, yeah.

• 31:08Alex Cooper?

  I'm obsessed with you. You're like, yeah, it's great stuff. It really just knocks you back to reality.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz it's that whole if he wanted to, he would thing, right?

• 31:15Alex Cooper?

  Absolutely.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  It's so true.

• 31:17Alex Cooper?

  It is.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  It's true. And we're girls. If we wanted to, we would, right?

• 31:21Alex Cooper?

  Done. Okay, one of my personal favorite songs of yours is Man Eater. How would you describe the woman you're singing about essentially?

• 31:31Speaker 01

  This is so interesting. So I really did kind of base that off of a woman that was friends with at the time, that was like a colleague was like engaged to her and she was a knockout. And just really was, did personify that man eater energy. And what at the time, what I really, really felt at the time when I was making that whole album with Timbaland and when we're making Man Eater, as I did feel very, I was actually only about 26 or something when I wrote that song, but I felt like there's something really empowering about masculine and feminine energy together. You know what I mean? When somebody embodies both. And I was trying to capture that in a song. And I really feel that when I play it live, it

• 32:15Speaker 01

  feels primal. It feels like it's for everyone. It's like, it's like, almost like a verb, like you're man-eatering. You're like man-eatering right now.

• 32:23Alex Cooper?

  You're man-eatering.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's an energy, you know?

• 32:26Alex Cooper?

  It's such a confident song. I actually play a part of it in my tour cuz I'm like, you do? Oh, I can't wait for you to see it. Nelly, it's like, all of these men come up and they're like Magic Mike dancers around me and I'm just in my element. I'm the only woman on stage. And it's like, it is like this empowering feeling when you hear that song.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  I love that. I love that for people.

• 32:47Alex Cooper?

  It's so good. Did anyone in your team ever, when you have like the song, you're like the pussy cock, the bird, the man eater, promiscuous girl, did anyone ever think that it was like too edgy? Or was everyone around you like, we love this?

• 33:00Speaker 01

  No, not really. I think I was like just making that record in Miami. I was feeling the vibes. I was feeling myself. I'd spend all day in a bathing suit, like playing with my kid on the beach, you know, like I was feeling myself in the sun, to be totally honest. And I was newly single, see? Every time.

• 33:15Alex Cooper?

  God. Newly single brought us Manny or Promiscuous Girl. Oh, my God.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:20Alex Cooper?

  That's amazing.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  That just kind of had fresh energy, that kind of seeing the world through new, like, I guess, red colored glasses.

• 33:27Alex Cooper?

  I love it.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, that energy's very like red and like passionate. But also with Promiscuous, I actually didn't write that chorus. It was Timbaland's idea.

• 33:36Alex Cooper?

  It was?

• 33:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was. And then I sat down and finished the lyrics with Attitude, this amazing rapper that he was working with at the time. And I was hesitant, but my good friend Jim Bean sat me down. He's like, I think this is authentic and I really like this energy and you're, you sound great on it. And I did know, I did know that I like, I laced up the verses and I sounded good and all that. And now when I sing it, I love it. I'm, it's like karaoke time.

• 33:57Alex Cooper?

  It's, Promiscuous is another one of my favorites. I made a really bad music video too when I was younger, which you'll never see. Can you tell me though, like from that song, how has your, because it is a very, again, emboldening, empowering song, how has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years?

• 34:33Alex Cooper?

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• 35:15Alex Cooper?

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• 35:58Alex Cooper?

  from marriage and family therapists to social workers and counselors. So Daddy Gang, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/daddy. That's betterh-e-l-p.com/daddy. How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years?

• 36:21Speaker 01

  That's a good question. And I will also give a quick shout out to the music I grew up on. So Salt n' Pepper, TLC, Trailblazers, those girl groups. In the late 90s, when I was a teenager, I was coming of age 14, 15. I was blessed to have that music to listen to. It was like Mary J. Blige, TLC, Salt n' Pepper. And they were giving this empowered sexuality and choice. It was about choice. It was about I'm in control of my choices. And that was the energy we wanted to capture with a song like Promiscuous. It's a choice. It's an even playing field. I think to feel sexy, to feel sensual, you have to spend time on yourself. You have to spend time alone. You have to spend time, um...

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Just you have to um tap into pleasure, which is joy, right? Joy is pleasure, right? So if you really feel and and embodied like in your body, like I'm not gonna lie like I feel. I feel pretty sexy when I'm like dancing, you know, like I'm in the dance studio because it's such an act of self-love to apply your mind and body to something like choreography. And to just be to feel that uh I would say it's like almost like an equilibrium. And I think from there you can feel very confident, you know, and I think it's something you develop. I think your sexuality is something you develop, you know, as when you start, you know, whenever in your early teens and then you do you just develop for the self, you know, and I think that's a healthy place to start, you know?

• 37:46Alex Cooper?

  I think that's such a good like piece of advice because I think sometimes women can really feel like, oh, my gosh, like whether they were repressed when they were younger or religion or whatever folds into it or shame like sometimes we can feel like maybe I just am not as sexual of a person as I wanted to be, or maybe I don't feel as empowered to like own it. And it's really like if you know, the more you know yourself, the more you'll know what you enjoy and the more that you'll feel confident to be able to explore.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's almost like it's a quiet game. You know what I mean?

• 38:13Alex Cooper?

  Yes.

• 38:16Alex Cooper?

  You're just on the search for whatever like makes you feel your best and no one can tell you and you shouldn't ever search for it through someone else.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  No, I mean, I think people can teach you, you know, like I think you can grow in relationships. Like I think you can grow and you can kind of like pick up things as you go and like that ebb and flow again, but at the end of the day, yeah, you gotta feel you gotta feel good.

• 38:40Alex Cooper?

  You gotta feel good, right? Um, do you fall in love easily?

• 38:44Speaker 01

  I'm changing. I used to.

• 38:48Alex Cooper?

  Yes, Alex, and?

• 38:50Speaker 01

  I'm a lover. I love love. I need muses. I'm a muses girl. Like I need, I think it's because I'm an artist. I'm a writer. I create and it's like I grew up thinking and just feeling like I'm. I love like lovers, like I love to say that I love the idea of um being just really inspired and the joy in dating and like that. It's like there's nothing like that, but I also enjoy my solitude so much that I have had people ask me like friends, like colleagues, like, why are you even in a relationship? You have so much going on in your mind. You should just date yourself. How are you even able to be with and it is true. I like my solitude so much that sometimes it is hard for me to be in a relationship.

• 39:31Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  Cause I'm just like, uh.

• 39:32Alex Cooper?

  Get away from me.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  It's too hard. Yeah. It's like a always felt like more comfortable to be like more like a like a like a an enjoyable kind of like, and I'm not gonna say part time. I don't know what to say.

• 39:43Alex Cooper?

  No, what was the thing you said earlier?

• 39:44Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 39:45Alex Cooper?

  A flip relationship? No, a uh, what was?

• 39:48Speaker 01

  Oh, a flingation.

• 39:49Alex Cooper?

  A flingation ship. You're you're in your.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  A nation.

• 39:53Alex Cooper?

  You're always wanting to be in your flingation ship. Is that how you say?

• 39:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:57Alex Cooper?

  A nation ship.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:58Alex Cooper?

  There you go.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  Flingingation ship.

• 39:59Alex Cooper?

  I think it's fun.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Kind of um, I don't know. I follow my my passions and my lust and my uh, my interests too. I do have ADHD and I think it's affected me. Uh, women experience it differently than men. Uh, I was only recently diagnosed, but I read a great book and it talked about how even as women with ADHD, we can pick partners that kind of make us feel like we're in the passenger seat because we want somebody else to make all the decisions for us and we just want to coast, right?

• 40:27Alex Cooper?

  Interesting.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  And I found that really interesting when I read that because I was like, oh, yeah. And I think when I'm on my own, I'm more able to kind of navigate to my whole life in a way that works for my brain and for my comfort levels.

• 40:40Alex Cooper?

  Oh, interesting.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  But I do love love and I do love falling in love and I find that fun still, but I think my priorities have changed.

• 40:46Alex Cooper?

  I mean, I think that's amazing to even just acknowledge your priorities have changed and you even talking about like recognizing something that can affect your relationships, you being like, I don't want to just coast. Like I do want to have more control over my relationships. Even you just recognizing that will probably affect the next relationship you get into and how you approach it, right?

• 41:04Speaker 01

  Yes, and you want to stay yourself. I think that's the most important thing. You know, I I'd have had a tendency to lose myself in relationships.

• 41:11Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  So, yeah.

• 41:12Alex Cooper?

  A part of why you returned to music was because you were going through a difficult breakup. You talk about in these songs, that experience. Can you share like, what made this breakup so painful for you?

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  I need a sip of water.

• 41:28Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, let's take a sip of water. I saw your body just go. Two of an hour, sweetie. Where do we begin?

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I don't know. Isn't it sort of like life, you know, and then again, again, we talk about this experience even when you're in your twenties and you're growing. Everybody, I mean, I always wanted to have a family, you know, to me and have children and this, we all have that dream, you know, of just kind of settling down and like, oh, now I'm at the yellow brick road. This is so great. Oh, wait, and now I'm at the yellow brick road, right? And it comes in all these variations, but um, I think I just had that feeling like I had finally kind of arrived at that, you know, yellow brick road and it was like, gonna be that for me. And then it turned out that it wasn't. And that's why it hit so hard. You know what I mean?

• 42:16Alex Cooper?

  I absolutely.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Cause it was the first time it had felt, you know, like that right, you know, where it was like, oh, you know, where you felt like, you know, you had that profound sense of a certain kind of peace, you know what I mean? And a certain kind of certainty, right? And it's that idea when the certainty just kind of gets pulled out from under you or the rug gets pulled out. And you go, oh, oh my God, I have a lot to learn still. I have a lot to learn about me and you might've had a horrible experience, you know, and for sure, like I went through a very difficult time. Where I think I accepted some things that uh, that I would never accept now, you know, in terms of um, the way you're treated.

• 42:59Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  And.

• 43:00Alex Cooper?

  Could you share just a little bit, like not?

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can. I will say.

• 43:03Alex Cooper?

  For women listening, like.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  Of course, I know.

• 43:05Alex Cooper?

  Cause you can't see it when you're in it sometimes.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  You cannot at all. You cannot see it at all when you're in it and sometimes we just love so hard and we love and I'm sure there's women out there too, you know, when we become mothers, we're quite vulnerable when we become mothers. Because we just want what's best for our kids and we want to protect them. And I think that in general, I'll say that.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  It can really happen to anybody, feeling powerless, you know what I mean? You could have all the money in the world and all the resources, but in the mind, really that is your only wealth is in your mind. And so, um, if you can't feel strong enough and clear enough to move out of a situation that might be toxic for you and not the best for you, and also abusive in any way, you know, um, I think that, yeah, like I'm, I'm definitely like not here to like tear, you know,

• 44:06Alex Cooper?

  Of course.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  Anyone down or anything, but I think that it's honest to say that it is hard when you're in a relationship, um, that has that imbalance, I will say, and I'll, I'll, and, and abusive qualities.

• 44:23Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  It is hard to, uh, it is hard to see outside of it because you isolate yourself, you stop talking to your friends. You don't tell, you know, your friends the truth about what's going on in your life. Uh, you live in a bubble and it's hard to admit, you know, that you have chosen, um, to not say anything, right? It's hard to admit to yourself.

• 44:51Alex Cooper?

  It is, it is.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  Right? And then on top of that, the love, right? Love, you know, keeps you there because, oh, you wanna, you know, and I, and I will say that too, like I think, as women, we think we tend to sacrifice our happiness sometimes, you know, once we're, once we're in it.

• 45:11Alex Cooper?

  Of course.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Once we're, once we're, we've fallen in love, right? We tend to, we sacrifice ourselves sometimes.

• 45:18Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  And we think we're doing the right thing. Yeah.

• 45:22Alex Cooper?

  So often, and I, I appreciate you sharing that too, because I think when you are in those situations and you get so isolated, a lot of times you're like, how would I even begin to unravel this, right? Like, how do I even begin to get away and like to restart?

• 45:36Speaker 01

  Fear, fear is huge too, because when you have, when you fear, you know, when you have fear, that can be a very powerful emotion. You can be afraid, but you can, it's kinda like you create it in your mind, you know, you can be afraid like, oh, what's the person gonna do to me or say about me or like, you know, et cetera, et cetera, or, I don't know, you just, you fear, you fear that. And again, it's heightened when you have, you know, like, You know, kids and like there's whole other things to think about or.

• 46:03Alex Cooper?

  I and I I also agree with you because I have talked about this on the show before too of like the thought sometimes of leaving and all the things that you think it would take to leave. It just feels more daunting almost than just staying.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:17Alex Cooper?

  Can you share like? How how do you know?

• 46:21Speaker 01

  I have a song about it on my album.

• 46:23Alex Cooper?

  It's and I appreciate you writing about it because it's like it's so real and so many women listening to this are gonna be like Nelly, thank you.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Water.

• 46:36Alex Cooper?

  Thank you for sharing though, because it's like I do think and it's not like on you to help all these women, but it is like the more we talk about it, the more people I know someone's gonna be watching at home right now being like, oh, my God, if Nelly was going through this and she says that she got out of it, like I can too. Like, can you share how you knew it was time and like how you actually took the steps to get away essentially?

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Um, I think there were moments where I almost had the strength. But again, like something would keep me there, you know, where I was like, oh, this is, you know, this is the moment.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  So I think that in I will say having remarkable friends, like I'm very lucky.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  I have some really, really, really amazing friends. Really core like childhood friends that have been there for me. My whole entire life and they just they just kind of knew what to say to me and knew what was too much or too little. And even the hard stuff, you know, I have some friends that I will say to ladies out there, you know what, those people that are telling you what you don't want to hear. Those are the ones you need to keep close. Hopefully they know you well enough to not repel you with judgment or anything like that. And it's not judgment if you you can sense when it's love. And I think everyone has someone, you know, maybe one person or one voice in their life. That is maybe like reminding you when stuff is not okay.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  And like what your worth is and what behavior is unacceptable if you cannot see it for yourself.

• 48:10Alex Cooper?

  It's so true. It's like you just need one person.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 48:13Alex Cooper?

  One person.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, to just kinda be like, no, actually, um, I'm not gonna talk to you anymore if.

• 48:21Alex Cooper?

  Right, right.

• 48:22Speaker 01

  Or whatnot, but like, eh, but tough love doesn't work all the time, but like it's in doses, right? Um, and I think, I'm trying to think of another thing that helped me, I think. Ooh, geez, that's such a good question. I think you have aha moments. You know what I mean? They just have sometimes like a moment where you're like, okay, you know, um, and then sometimes. I guess I was lucky in a way because maybe like on top of it, I, I wasn't really the one who chose. At the end of the day, like, you know what I mean? I went through a rough time, but then. At the end of the day, it wasn't really my decision, but then I quickly learned that then, okay. Now I'm doing me. Now's, you know, I'm doing me now.

• 49:04Alex Cooper?

  It's such a vicious cycle that you can get so wrapped up into and then. When you get released from something like that, it can almost feel like withdrawal symptoms. Cause you're like so used to the up and the down and the toxic like.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  You do, and then for some reason your brain only feeds you happy memories. It's really weird.

• 49:22Alex Cooper?

  Nellie, it is so fucked up.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  You're like, maybe she was actually the best.

• 49:27Alex Cooper?

  The coffee shop, like the movie we went to.

• 49:30Speaker 01

  And it's like, very weird.

• 49:31Alex Cooper?

  It's so fucked up.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  That's a tough phase. Yeah, that's tough phase when your brain feeds you all these happy memories. Let's flood you with happy, because there are happy memories, right? That's why you, that's why you stay there, because there are some great things, right? So it's, it's tricky to navigate.

• 49:45Alex Cooper?

  It is.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  It's a big mind F U C K.

• 49:48Alex Cooper?

  But I really appreciate you like talking about it that way too, because I know so many women write in feeling like. I feel so much shame that I'm even thinking about this person that hurt me and I feel like it's like.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Don't feel shame, right? No, don't feel shame about it. It's not natural. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's natural to wanna, you know, to still feel a multitude of feelings and. It, yeah, it's just totally normal. It's a process. You know what I mean? Because the truth is, it's like anything, right? Like, how many Band-Aids do you have, right? And how long do those take to heal? It takes time.

• 50:20Alex Cooper?

  What is a difficult lesson that you've learned about love that you would tell your kids one day?

• 50:25Speaker 01

  Oh, my god. Love. It's funny, I almost called my album, Let's Be Honest, You Know Nothing About Love.

• 50:32Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my god. Stop.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  I'm serious. That was my, it was either called Seven or Let's Be Honest, You Know Nothing About Love. Maybe I'll call the deluxe that.

• 50:41Alex Cooper?

  I was about to say, that's what you call it in your head and then to the world it's Seven. You're like, what it really is. Let's Be Honest, You Know Nothing About Love. Oh, my god.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  The story of everyone's life, right? It's like, we, we know love, of course. Like, I know great love, you know? I'm blessed to be a mother and have wonderful family and friends and things like that. So I know what love is.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  But if I was to give advice on romantic love to my children,

• 51:09Speaker 01

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna vote for the golden retriever.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  I'm sorry. You gotta be best friends. I think you have to have an authentic, true friendship. It's about partnership, you know? Forget all the other stuff. It's about partnership, but also, stay you, man. Stay you.

• 51:27Alex Cooper?

  And listen to your friends. When you have a gut feeling, your friends are usually always...

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Oh, that's the other thing. Your gut is always right. The little voice in your head that tells you, and this is not even this like, and this is past relationship, but

• 51:39Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  The little voice, mm.

• 51:41Alex Cooper?

  It's always right.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:42Alex Cooper?

  And it's so hard, because I know it's so cliche to say, but it's like, then why do we always ignore our gut?

• 51:46Speaker 01

  I don't know why.

• 51:47Alex Cooper?

  Why are we always like?

• 51:48Speaker 01

  But that's like we gaslight ourselves. I have a song, actually, I think I'm gonna put on my deluxe called Gaslight. Yeah. Another album title was Red Flags.

• 51:56Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my god. Too relatable.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  I'll take these. So anyways, yeah, so Gaslight. We gaslight ourselves in a way, you know what I mean? Because it's like boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh. It's, yeah, it's like an echo chamber.

• 52:10Alex Cooper?

  Can you share, like, how do you get your confidence back after a breakup?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Oh. Me?

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Kind of like, exercise and going out. I started to go out a lot.

• 52:25Alex Cooper?

  Oh.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  After my breakup. I was ready. I was like, I'm, because it was such a long, dwindling breakup, but by the end, I was like, okay, I'm dating now. This is awesome. Like, I'm gonna, after we did, you know, all the ending stuff. And then I, and I... Yeah, just went out and had fun and just, I think I like really found um a lot of joy in like dressing up again and like clothing and fashion and yeah, cause I think I was like really kind of wearing like mommy uniform for like three years.

• 52:54Alex Cooper?

  What was your mommy?

• 52:54Speaker 01

  My place was a block away from the Target.

• 52:58Alex Cooper?

  Oh, what were we buying at Target?

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Okay, I well, I do remember taking my my teenager on a tour.

• 53:06Alex Cooper?

  Of Target?

• 53:07Speaker 01

  Of a university, cause she was shopping for universities out in California. I thought my shirt was nice, but it it was looked like up tablecloth because it was blue and white checkers, but it wasn't even a flattering cut.

• 53:21Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  And I didn't have time to shop, so I would just grab like whatever I saw, nothing against Target, but like.

• 53:26Alex Cooper?

  I love Target.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, Target's fun. You can find great stuff, but I think that I didn't diversify.

• 53:31Alex Cooper?

  Got it.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  I wasn't really like, I didn't have time. I didn't have time. I didn't have time. Or I just wore stuff that was baggy, which is totally normal. Like I breastfed all all my kids. So like, of course, you're gonna, you need easy access.

• 53:42Alex Cooper?

  So you just weren't like.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  You do.

• 53:45Alex Cooper?

  So you just weren't feeling yourself as much. And then once you got through the breakup, you're like, you know what, I'm gonna like, start putting my cute outfits on. I'm gonna do my glam. I'm gonna get out there. I'm gonna go have fun.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Well, the studio helped me too. So I started going to the studio and I started writing. I started recording music again and I got so many emotions out. Oh, my God. I got so many emotions out at the studio. I would cry in there. I would get angry in there. It was so good for me. It was such a good therapy.

• 54:08Alex Cooper?

  Wait, is it, is it true that you actually wrote like 400 songs?

• 54:12Speaker 01

  I did, yeah.

• 54:13Alex Cooper?

  Nellie, can you just like rewind and tell me like how?

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Like if this house was my studio, what I would do is I would just like, we're in LA today. So I'd be like, who's in LA today? Which of my friends are in LA? Which producers? Which writers? Which friends? And that's what informed this album. This album is really just like a let's party type of album because. I was getting over a breakup and I was like, my social life became the studio. Oh. So, like, you know, like, I, I, you know, I don't, I wasn't in the mood to, like, go away and write songs by myself on a guitar. It was like, no, we're bringing everybody in. I would invite, like, people after their concerts to come hang out and make music with me. Yeah. And then my daughter was really coaching me on too, because she was having fun in there too. So it was like, we're making music now. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're doing, we're just like really cooking now and like really having fun. How do you pick between four hundred songs of what to put on an album?

• 55:02Speaker 01

  I like to stay up late making music till really late, till like the sun comes up and I get really inspired and I get my bongo drum. Just joking.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Picturing you in there with a bongo drum, like, let's go, let's go. My jembe, and I just go till seven. No, but it's pretty much, yeah, we just like a bunch of music. We just have fun and, um, the way I pick the songs. Oh my God, it's almost like, I always say like, you know, when you go in, like, you, you put flowers together at a flower shop. It's like, why do you like those flowers, right? And I think it's also like, whatever goes together and it's like a bit like a fashion collection, just kind of putting it together. I love it. One session I had had like, a bunch of different people who like, didn't even necessarily make music. Like, I think at one time, like, like a, like a comedian ended up in there. This girl. And I was like, oh, what you got? Like, I'm very like, I'm, I'm a hippie that way. Like, if you were, I would make you sing. No.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  Yes, I believe anybody can write a song. I've done that before. I've done like art. Wait, let's do something right now. Well, how do you start? Okay, how do you start writing a song? Like, where does you even start? I'd be like, what's your favorite, uh, childhood vacation you went on? Ooh. Mmm, shit. Ooh, like Disneyland. See how it's got you in your feels? Yeah, I'm like, oh my God. So we start there. So like in a Disneyland. So what did you like about it? Oh, just like, the euphoric feeling of seeing these things come to life that I always saw on TV. Yes. Yes. Just like, so you'd be like, oh, like euphoria, everything's telling me a story.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Oh, seen it before, yeah. Seen it before, yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean?

• 56:47Alex Cooper?

  I am fucking chilled.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  That's how I write.

• 56:49Alex Cooper?

  That's how I write. Starts a song in two seconds.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:52Alex Cooper?

  Oh my.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  And then we'd go somewhere with it, if I keep going, but yeah.

• 56:56Alex Cooper?

  I am fucking obsessed.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:58Alex Cooper?

  I am not okay that you just said that. Thank you.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Bio works above the castle blowing my mind.

• 57:03Alex Cooper?

  No, your voice.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  I can stay here every night. It's like, whatever.

• 57:07Alex Cooper?

  Nellie, me just being like, okay, for the rest of the interview, just sing. No.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  And then we call it Disneyland.

• 57:12Alex Cooper?

  Oh.

• 57:29Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. Daddy gang, let's get real, okay? We like to make our own rules. Southern New Hampshire University gets it. They let you learn what you want with over 200 career-focused programs, where you want with 100% online courses, and how you want with no set class times. Basically, you get to call the shots from day one. Visit s n h u dot edu slash call her daddy to learn more. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own, and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals, or bold seasonal touches,

• 58:14Alex Cooper?

  Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. What is your stance on breakup sex?

• 58:35Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a good question. I mean, I think it's necessary at a certain stage.

• 58:39Alex Cooper?

  It is. Let's be honest.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Aren't we honest on this show?

• 58:42Alex Cooper?

  We're being very honest today, Nellie. I think that's all we're doing.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 58:46Alex Cooper?

  I love it.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  I mean, it's all, it's like energy. You'll have to like, you know, squeeze the lemon. Right? It's like squeeze the lemon until the juice is gone. So that's what it's like. So then I'm one day like, well, this lemon has no more juice. So no more breakup sex. Yeah. I think it's natural.

• 59:08Alex Cooper?

  That is.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  And I want to hear from other people too. Yeah.

• 59:10Alex Cooper?

  I think that's a great take. I love that take.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  Guys, when they break up with something, like, yeah.

• 59:14Alex Cooper?

  Yes.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, we might have seen each other once or twice. Uh, last week.

• 59:20Alex Cooper?

  Literally, literally. Um, okay. So are you single right now? Okay, you're single.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  I'm dating though. Like I'm dating, but I'm dating different people.

• 59:30Alex Cooper?

  Oh, love.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  Just like, yeah.

• 59:32Alex Cooper?

  You've got like a little roster going on.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  I mean, I have a roster, but it's like, I feel like that's derivative.

• 59:38Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  I like the roster.

• 59:42Alex Cooper?

  I've got a plethora of options.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  No, I mean, I call it the flingation ships.

• 59:45Alex Cooper?

  Flingation ships.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  So it's like, ooh, like, it's like a potential. I will say that. I have like, there's different potentialities. And there's different like, um, levels of like interest and just kind of, and romance in different areas. I will say, I'll describe it that way.

• 59:59Alex Cooper?

  Are you going on?

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  So yes, I'm single again.

• 1:00:00Alex Cooper?

  Love.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  I've been single for a couple of years.

• 1:00:04Alex Cooper?

  What is your ideal date?

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  I went on a really nice date recently.

• 1:00:08Alex Cooper?

  Oh.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Where it was daytime.

• 1:00:10Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Alex Cooper?

  You love that?

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. I kind of like, I think I recommend the daytime date for a first date because it's broad daylight. So there's a regular date. It was very hot. So I was like very sweaty, but that was unfortunate. I actually had boob sweat.

• 1:00:25Alex Cooper?

  A classic.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  I know. Or just like dinner, like that type of thing. I love being like, yeah, just kind of like.

• 1:00:31Alex Cooper?

  Chill.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, just going, going out for dinner. But I like the idea of dressing up for dates sometimes if it's appropriate. But ironically, I like never have time. So like get ready so fast, but, but I do like that idea. Yeah.

• 1:00:43Alex Cooper?

  Would you ever bring a guy to one of your shows?

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  I've brought guys to my shows. Yeah. But it's like, it's not really fair because they just go, oh my God.

• 1:00:52Alex Cooper?

  Right. They're gonna just like fall in love immediately.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  They're like, I love you. It's like, show me so different, but it is cool because you get to show like what you do.

• 1:01:01Alex Cooper?

  True.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 1:01:02Alex Cooper?

  But they're immediately in love.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:01:05Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  It's pretty awesome. The concert's awesome. Like, it's cool. You can see me go up there and do my thing like.

• 1:01:13Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm strategic about inviting, win though, right? It's not always like appropriate or the right setting, but.

• 1:01:22Alex Cooper?

  For sure.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  And it's almost like, what would be like the best weapon in the weapon shed? What will be called? Like, what would, like a machete?

• 1:01:28Alex Cooper?

  Oh, like, like a machete.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  The show is like a machete move. Yeah. You'd be like, come to my show. So like, you know, pull out the machete right away. You want to time it out. Anyway.

• 1:01:40Alex Cooper?

  What? I'm obsessed with you.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  What's your next question?

• 1:01:44Alex Cooper?

  You're like, moving on. Oh, my god. The machete is the show. Nellie the machete.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  No, heck yeah, I'm done. We're moving on.

• 1:01:53Alex Cooper?

  What are some non-negotiables that you're looking for in a partner? Like, you're like, if they don't have this, I'm out.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Uh, the self-work. Yeah. For actual partnership, like, long-term partner, I would want somebody who's worked on their, um, self in an authentic way. Not in like, a surface way, but like, more like this, the spiritual side, like a little bit of exploration there, you know what I mean? But like authentically and also like, some growth in that department, I would say. Maybe growth and like, specifically like ego, I think.

• 1:02:27Alex Cooper?

  Let's just pause on that.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  Third eye coming into the mix.

• 1:02:30Alex Cooper?

  Wait, like, it's, it's, it's, it's, when the ego is out of control, it's like, it can, especially when you start dating a guy, you can first think it's confidence and like hot, but then all of a sudden, you're like, oh, you're a dick.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, you want somebody confident. Yeah, but, but confidence comes from, I think, a genuine good heart. You know what I mean? And I think, I think for partners, you want somebody with a good heart. You want somebody nice.

• 1:02:53Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  Like, I don't know why, but like, sometimes we're attracted to, you know, people who aren't that nice, just like, to people. Watch how they talk to like, the people you encounter, like, on your date, or whatever, when you're dating, like, how they treat your friends, your family. If your friends like them, if your family likes them, all those big green flags, you know?

• 1:03:09Alex Cooper?

  Sometimes we don't listen to our friends, and like, our friends, at some point, don't really care. Like, they have no agenda, other than wanting you to be happy.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:03:17Alex Cooper?

  So when people, when you guys are trying to like, math it in your head, like, well, my friends just don't get it. They don't see that good side of him. It's like, no, no, your friends just want you to be happy. They don't care. Listen to your friends. If they're like, he's a dick. There's a reason and they're only seeing a percentage. How crazy is that? And they can even see he's not a good person, but we rationalize in our head.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  A lot of rationalization.

• 1:03:37Alex Cooper?

  Okay, back to your music. You ended up taking a break from music. Were you nervous at all like how people were gonna react with you coming back?

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  Ah, I'm very lucky because I got to tippy toe like very slowly into the waters and then things kind of lined up in a really cool way. So started with, I was already making music by the time I kind of showed up on stage after five years with Drake at an event in Toronto. And I sang and it was like, oh, this is fun. I realized, oh, maybe I have something new to offer this. I've worked on myself. I feel different. Maybe I'll be better at my job now, you know? I'm older, better, wiser, that vibe. Then I started booking more shows. I booked a show in Australia where I met Dom Dalla. Then we make this track and then we're playing it at Lollapalooza in Coachella and it's like crazy. And that his raves that he throws after his shows, like just the whole thing.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  So fun. So everything lined up so nicely that I was making my album while I was getting out there again. So it wasn't so scary, right? It was baby steps and that to me was a blessing.

• 1:04:39Alex Cooper?

  What did you learn about yourself from writing this new album?

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Wow. I learned that I've become an even better like producer and person who brings people together. Cause I got to try new ideas. Like I got to try like, like, like I have like, like weird juxtapositions of people and sounds on, on, on my album. And I think that's just because. Oh, my God, I love people genuinely. I have such a curious mind. Like I told you, like, I'd love to have you in the studio and I want you to sing. So I am more interested in like the craft of making it almost than the outcome. Does that make sense?

• 1:05:11Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, yeah, interesting.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I'm more into just like, oh, the mad scientist part, you know? So like, and I found such confidence in there this time around. I've always been confident, but this time I was more open hearted. Like before I used to not like writing songs in front of people. And now I don't care. I would just turn the mic on like this, have everything blast through the speakers. It feels like you're at a live show. And then we just like hang out and have a good time. So I think I grew in vulnerability.

• 1:05:33Alex Cooper?

  That's amazing.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  My vulnerability. Yeah.

• 1:05:35Alex Cooper?

  It's really incredible to see how your life has evolved and like you're such an incredible talented performer and producer.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:05:43Alex Cooper?

  Built an incredible family and you have these gorgeous children. Last question, what are you the most proud of with this new album as a whole? And like, why do you want people to go stream it?

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  Oh my God, I think the album has a lot of emotion. I think it has a lot of purity. And if you just want to escape, like if you just want to feel like you know, that music that makes you feel something for real. I will humbly say that I think a lot of the songs do make you really feel something and make you really escape. Can I, and I spent my time making it and I, I definitely think it's just really good quality music. Genuinely.

• 1:06:18Alex Cooper?

  Nelly Furtado.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  But of course, I'm just thinking about, what do I make now? Like, I'm just never satisfied.

• 1:06:23Alex Cooper?

  You, I mean, you have 400 in the bank.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  Like meanwhile, I'm like, it's high.

• 1:06:28Alex Cooper?

  Would you ever pull the songs from the 400 and make another album out of them or not?

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  I'm working on my deluxe right now.

• 1:06:35Alex Cooper?

  Who is your dream collab?

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  Dream collabo. I mean, I still, I still think it'd be cool to have a song with Drake. I think people would love that because we're both Canadian. The lore, you know, the Toronto lore.

• 1:06:46Alex Cooper?

  Can you please? That's our last request is yes. Nelly Furtado, Drake song, Putting in the Crest Now, done.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it would, I think it would be really good.

• 1:06:55Alex Cooper?

  Thank you so much for taking the time and coming on today. It was truly a pleasure. You are even better hanging out with you in person. Thank you so much.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you for having me. This was really fun.

• 1:07:05Alex Cooper?

  I had a good time.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I even cried.

• 1:07:22Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches. Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Pandora Jewelry. Make their holiday unforgettable with a gift that says it all from Pandora Jewelry.

• 1:08:05Alex Cooper?

  I feel like the best gifts are always the ones that feel really personal, right? Like, anyone can buy you something nice, but when someone gives you a gift that is actually meaningful, you appreciate it so much more. And that's what I do love about Pandora. They have so many pieces that you can really just make your own, from festive charms to personalized engravings and jewelry that can represent the people and the moments that mean the most to you. So whether you're shopping for your partner, or your mom, your best friend, you can find something that really is specific to them. Maybe it's a charm that makes you think of the trip that you guys took together once, or maybe it's an engraving for your anniversary, or just a piece that feels like them the second you see it.

• 1:08:50Alex Cooper?

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• 1:09:35Speaker 01

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