#119 - Tim Dillon

Tim Dillon joins the pod to discuss how this episode will inevitably be demonetized, wanting to be part of the ruling class, billionaires trying to be in the limelight, his family's mental illnesses, RFK Jr. putting warning labels on Uncrustables, and much more. Tim and Stav help callers including a woman whose homeless mom is crashing with her, and a gay man who is afraid his addict boyfriend will relapse if they break up. Visit https://www.thuma.co/ to get $100 off your first bed purchase. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com! https://www.booking.com/ Visit https://bluechew.com/ and use promo code STAVVY to try your first month of BlueChew FREE -- just pay $5 shipping. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. See Tim Dillon live, watch his pod, and follow him on social media: https://timdilloncomedy.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon https://www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow https://twitter.com/TimJDillon https://www.facebook.com/timdillonshow/ 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain or color changes in fingers

• 0:46Speaker 00

  and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 1:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fucking Elvis, you piece of shit. Welcome to Stobby's World. Elvis screwed up the... I guess we shouldn't curse right up top. Well, we'll probably get demonetized because who knows what Tim's gonna say anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  The show's over.

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  So I guess telling Elvis to go fuck himself doesn't matter. As Tim nakedly courts the levers of power as he tries to get invited to Epstein's Island 2.0.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm trying my hardest. And it's all... By the way, you know what's so sad? It's like, it'll be every like orgy would be a no.

• 2:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  It would be a hard no. Even if we were so rich.

• 2:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  That's the problem.

• 2:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  We were really rich.

• 2:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  And it would be tough because we would be the guys who were like, no, we just borrowed the plane.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  No, we literally just... They literally took us to Cleveland.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  They wouldn't even-

• 2:26Stavros Halkias?

  I'm on the flight logs, I went to Toledo. They just were, they were, I was, they, you know, padded their stats. Um, love it. Tim Dillon here, back in Astoria. Back where, you know, ten years ago, both of us.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:42Stavros Halkias?

  I'm still in the same apartment, you know, this is the same one.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  I love it, yeah, but you kicked everyone out.

• 2:45Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone else is gone.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Everyone's gone.

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  Now I live with my podcast.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 2:50Stavros Halkias?

  But this, the apartment that, you know, we, we split a lot of cabs from the stand.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 2:54Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you lived like two blocks over from her.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Podcasts now have become like a family for a lot of people.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  As much money as we have is the saddest life imaginable. Like, I just wanna let everyone know that, that are envious of the financial benefits. It is, because what you just said, I live with my podcast.

• 3:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, my podcast is my roommate, yeah.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  And how many people feel, like, these cameras that I'm looking at are the children.

• 3:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  It's so funny.

• 3:22Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, no, it is.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  Because it's like, you know, all, you know, comics from the, whatever, you know, the past.

• 3:28Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  You'd have a TV show and you'd have a bunch of like writers and, you'd, you'd see cameramen every day.

• 3:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  Now with this, you see like one dude.

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  You'd feel like an emperor of a little, of a little kingdom back, everybody loves Raymond.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:40Stavros Halkias?

  There's a hundred people sucking on Raymond's dick.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  I got Eldis.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:44Stavros Halkias?

  I see my friend.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  I have to, and then what happens is you have to order your friends around.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 3:49Stavros Halkias?

  So now, you don't even have a pure friendship anymore. They're your employee.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  And then you have to go like, you have to schedule. Which is the craziest thing, and you're like, well, I guess eleven thirty?

• 4:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  And you're do, and there's nothing to do the whole day. There's nothing to do the whole day.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Well, I guess one?

• 4:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, eleven thirty one, how do we, how's that sound, fellas? I know, the scheduling's hilarious. I have to, that's most, I do more scheduling than I do actual talking on the microphone. Like, just texting my friends, like, what do you think? And I know none of us have really anything to do. Comedians either have nothing to do, or they weirdly have, I have a ninety minute window for the next two months.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, alright, whatever, man, let's just, let's just fucking, look, I don't give a fuck, we just gotta get this, we just gotta produce ninety minutes of content for the YouTube channel. We gotta feed the algorithm, that's what it comes down to.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  We gotta feed the beast.

• 4:45Stavros Halkias?

  I do love that you're wearing sunglasses that like Black China would wear. That you're wearing like.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  First of all, I actually, I actually, I'm a huge fan of Black China's mother, Tokyo Tony. Do you know Tokyo? I don't know about Tokyo Tony. Do you know Tokyo Tony? I don't know. She screams at homeless people in the street, but then gives them money.

• 5:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Shalana Hunter, Tokyo Tony.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  So the.

• 5:11Stavros Halkias?

  They've both got the charming gap in their tooth.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Well, it's a family.

• 5:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Like anything else, it's a family. It may not, is it the ideal family? That's for people to decide. So Tokyo Tony will drive through downtown LA with money and go, you want it?

• 5:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  You want it?

• 5:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  And then homeless people, many of them on drugs.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Will approach the car and she gives it to them and then yells at them about their decisions and stuff. That could be what I evolve into.

• 5:39Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. I could see that.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Like a charitable guy, but also with a lot of problems.

• 5:44Stavros Halkias?

  You need to yell at someone.

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Like, I gotta yell at like a homeless guy and then give him money.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Cause you need, exactly. Again, circling back to how pod, it's like you don't even have a family anymore.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:56Stavros Halkias?

  You won't, you don't have a, you don't have a spoiled son.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  To, to, to treat that way.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  I'm fully supposed to have a fat wife and be in the closet. And I never should have came, like, I'm fully supposed to live.

• 6:09Stavros Halkias?

  You resent.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  A closeted Irish life.

• 6:11Stavros Halkias?

  You resent your daughter for being hot and getting cock?

• 6:14Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  And you call her a whore, cause you're jealous.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  I call her a whore and then me and my wife just get fatter and fatter. Just sitting, just sexually unfulfilled, frustrated, and thinking like weirdly religiously. Weirdly religious and then the next year rejected all. This is like something Irish Catholics do.

• 6:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  It goes from like real theocratic fascism.

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  To then the next year they go, there's nothing out there.

• 6:42Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  There's nothing, and then the next year you're religious again.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  That should have been my life. But I sobered up, I came out of the closet and I started a podcast. So my life oddly is much emptier.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  It's actually terrible. I'm an honest person to a degree. Terrible existence because there is such a, there's such a interesting to be in a web of lies. And Eddie Pepitone has a great joke about it where he talks about like being in a web of lies so thick that one could just blow the whole house down.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  That is a way to live.

• 7:18Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you're secure. The lies hold you in place.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 7:22Stavros Halkias?

  You know, there is something about soci- like, uh, unfulfilled social norms.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 7:27Stavros Halkias?

  No one's happy, but they're just, they're moving forward.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 7:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's being like, it's like being, um, in a beehive.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:34Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? You've just, you're just in that little hole. You got your little thing. Maybe the queen looks at you, she eats your jizz and beheads you or whatever the fuck she does.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  There's also something about being a functioning alcoholic.

• 7:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 7:46Speaker 03

  That I think is, provides a challenge to people.

• 7:50Stavros Halkias?

  Cause there's too much time in a day.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  There's way too much.

• 7:52Stavros Halkias?

  If you're just.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Way too much.

• 7:54Stavros Halkias?

  Now, we have phones to put, to put in the, the, um, you know, fill in the gaps. But back in the day, your hangover, getting drunk.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 8:02Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, there was a delicate balance where you would, you know, you could, all you need to do is get sober up enough, do three hours of work to keep your boss off your back.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  There's a great little part of Queens, New York called Rockaway Beach.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, I know about Rockaway.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  And Rockaway Beach has these little courts of Irish people where it's a court with bungalows.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  And they all spend the summers there so they don't have to drive.

• 8:24Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 8:27Stavros Halkias?

  They summer in Rockaway?

• 8:28Speaker 03

  It's called a life hack. You know what I mean? And so they can walk to the beach and then they can walk back to their bungalow and then they can walk to the bar and then they can walk to the deli and so on and so forth.

• 8:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Until the end.

• 8:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  And I grew up, my uncle had a bungalow there and I grew up seeing that community and it is a very fun.

• 8:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Genuine community, but you can't do it sober.

• 8:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you can't do it sober.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  Imagine that. You can't do it sober, you have to be, cause I went back there just a few months ago.

• 8:59Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  To just say hello to some friends I hadn't seen in a very long time.

• 9:03Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  And I was sober and I went, this isn't okay to be sober.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Here like it's

• 9:12Stavros Halkias?

  To see the Pampers wash up on the Brighton beach shores, you know what I mean? Like to see the disgusting waters you've been swimming in, it's hor- I mean

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Cause they come up to you, they just built a new hotel there.

• 9:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  And they'll come up to you and they go, have you seen the hotel? And they're all happy. And then you realize why Irish people never did anything.

• 9:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Like the Jews and the Arabs, they figured it out. This is when we

• 9:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  But like the Irish people.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  No, I'll steer it back.

• 9:43Stavros Halkias?

  They became cops.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  No, but they just didn't do anything because they go like this, they go, their eyes get big, they go, have you seen the hotel?

• 9:52Speaker 03

  I mean, you've been in Manhattan, right? There's the Plaza Hotel. But their point is we can walk to the hotel and get intoxicated from our house.

• 10:00Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. The parking's easier.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  The parking.

• 10:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's a, it's a culture of convenience.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  It's a culture of convenience and it's a culture of you think you're better than me?

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  You think you're better than me?

• 10:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yes. Yes, that's right. If everything, if everything is a fight. If every moment is a, is a competition, then you feel like a victor, even if all you did was beat up your developmentally disabled cousin.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's a victory.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  That's correct.

• 10:26Stavros Halkias?

  You count that. Whereas like, you know, other cultures might say, why bother with this? Yeah, go to school.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  No, Irish people, the big thing with, and I love them and I'm from there and that's why

• 10:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's your stock.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  I have a horrible, you know, horrible, you know, life, but it's my fault.

• 10:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Like, and I mean, I've had a great life too, but also horrible, but it's my fault. Like when Irish people go, oh, rough night, you made it a rough night.

• 10:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  We did it. And, and we do it and we look for the problem.

• 10:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  But then we get in so many of them.

• 11:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 03

  Then it is fair to say we've got trouble.

• 11:03Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, the troubles.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  We, we've got issues because we go and find the things we shouldn't be.

• 11:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  You know?

• 11:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, and they're great domestic terrorists.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  They're amazing.

• 11:14Stavros Halkias?

  They're awesome. Shout out to the NRA.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  They love

• 11:16Stavros Halkias?

  Lizzie's in a box.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Yes. They love the Palestinians so much.

• 11:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, which is awesome.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  Which is great. I'm, I'm, I'm all, it's been very sad what's happening over there.

• 11:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Um, but, um.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  It's so much in Ireland. It's it borders on like, guys, wait a minute. There's a little bit of antisemitism creeping in like they I've never seen them love anyone that much.

• 11:39Stavros Halkias?

  They love Palestine. Yeah, I mean.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  But I get it, because it's the whole thing. I get it.

• 11:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they get to be. I mean, it's like when your history is oppression, you see it. And it's like, nobody else is saying it, so it seems crazy, but they're like, hey, uh, should we maybe stop doing this insane shit?

• 11:53Speaker 03

  It's just funny because you'll be in Ireland and then you just see a guy painting somebody with a like a kaffiyah on. Just an Irish guy painting this Muslim lady on the wall and you go, well, that's lovely.

• 12:05Stavros Halkias?

  That is awesome. I'd like.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  It's a it's a real solidarity there.

• 12:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'd love to get a little, uh, Palestine, like, we should have an exchange program. Have you seen a video of there's a?

• 12:14Speaker 03

  You can get drunk in Palestine.

• 12:17Stavros Halkias?

  There's a video of Palestinians speaking English and they're speaking with Irish, like, thick Irish accents. Because the only English people, like, the only, like, people that stuck around are Irish people, yeah.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  No, that's what's great. Here's the thing that's great about the Irish. They have a sense of justice.

• 12:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  They have a sense of ri- right and wrong, even though in their own lives, they.

• 12:38Stavros Halkias?

  Here's the thing, we have to, uh, cha- you know, we have to make a distinction between Irish from Ireland.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:45Stavros Halkias?

  Who are like persecuted, fighting against the British, have a true sense of justice.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:51Stavros Halkias?

  And then American Irish who, one generation, they're like, we'll be cops.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice. You'll give us sticks to beat the poorer types of people than us?

• 12:59Speaker 03

  The American Irish were just looking for a person to hit with a stick. And as soon as that became something that had a retirement plan.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  As soon as there was a tension involved in hitting someone with a club.

• 13:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  They got really into it.

• 13:18Stavros Halkias?

  They took to it.

• 13:21Stavros Halkias?

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• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

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• 14:49Stavros Halkias?

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• 15:27Stavros Halkias?

  The the it is it is very funny how principled Irish. The Irish from Ireland are and then every Irish friend of mine has been.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:37Stavros Halkias?

  Truly, you know, a drunk.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Well, I think a lot, a lot of it comes from the fact that like there, there's this pressure. Like you said, to feel like you're constantly in a battle.

• 15:51Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Even when you're not.

• 15:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  Like, that's the thing, like, it was, it's been, like, obviously, early on, it was hard.

• 15:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  For Irish people.

• 16:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  Once they migrated out to, like, Long Island and Jersey.

• 16:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  It got a lot better.

• 16:05Stavros Halkias?

  Pretty easy.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Pretty quick.

• 16:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Once you started going to the apple farms.

• 16:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  You know, I don't think you're really, you know, under the thumb anymore.

• 16:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  But nobody wants to let it go, like.

• 16:16Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you can't just, nobody wants to.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Let it go.

• 16:18Stavros Halkias?

  Nobody wants to be just a person, a middle class person.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:23Stavros Halkias?

  Nobody wants to be the type of person that can't, doesn't have much to complain about.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  What's fascinated me my whole life is the emptiness and beauty, weirdly, of like the American suburbs.

• 16:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  And how they create some of the most interesting and worst people on earth.

• 16:42Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  And that that's the true landscape of America. The cities, we all know the cities and obviously we get it. But the suburbs have a mystery to them and it's interesting to me. I've spent years living in them.

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you grew up on Long Island.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  On Long Island, I grew up with these people, brutally funny people.

• 17:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  Brutally funny people, terrible. And they're during me, that's who I am as well. We have the, our instincts are selfish.

• 17:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, absolutely.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  You gotta fight them because they're all selfish.

• 17:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  Very selfish instinct, like, literally, right? As the fires are raging in Los Angeles, rate, people are losing their homes.

• 17:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  People are dying.

• 17:25Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  Okay, I call a friend of mine and I'm in the car and I say, I didn't come here for this.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  That's the craziest response. That's the cra- I go, "I didn't fucking come here for this." "I came here for good weather."

• 17:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  I'm screaming now.

• 17:45Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  At the top of my- in a disgusting car, I won't even say the make of the car, it's disgusting. But I'm screaming at my friend, "I didn't come here for this shit."

• 17:53Stavros Halkias?

  But you know what you did?

• 17:54Speaker 03

  I'm screaming.

• 17:55Stavros Halkias?

  Here's the thing you did, because what you were dreaming of

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:58Stavros Halkias?

  was being so- having lost touch so much.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  You're so crazy!

• 18:03Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, like you always wanted to get to the point

• 18:06Speaker 03

  That's right, I did.

• 18:07Stavros Halkias?

  Where you are in a luxury car

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:09Stavros Halkias?

  And you're- you know what you're doing is obscene.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  It's obscene.

• 18:13Stavros Halkias?

  And that you should be drug through the streets like Mussolini

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:16Stavros Halkias?

  For what you're doing.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:17Stavros Halkias?

  You know that, and you want to be able to behave that way.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  You always wanted- that's- again, I will give you credit

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:24Stavros Halkias?

  Because like, there's a lot of weird-

• 18:25Speaker 03

  But I'm- I'm- I worry more about the people who don't admit they behave that way.

• 18:29Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's what I'm saying, that's what I- that's why I love you, Tim.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:32Stavros Halkias?

  And we're friends for so- at this point, over a decade. And you have always openly

• 18:37Speaker 03

  Openly.

• 18:38Stavros Halkias?

  Said, "I want to be a part of the ruling class."

• 18:40Speaker 03

  I want- yes.

• 18:41Stavros Halkias?

  I want-

• 18:42Speaker 03

  I want to see.

• 18:43Stavros Halkias?

  I want-

• 18:43Speaker 03

  I want to see what it's like.

• 18:44Stavros Halkias?

  I want to- I want to be- I want to taste the fruits that I did not earn.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:50Stavros Halkias?

  I want a friend who's made his money exploiting people.

• 18:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:54Stavros Halkias?

  I want to- I want to be on the kinds of boats

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:57Stavros Halkias?

  Exploitation buys.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:59Stavros Halkias?

  And I respect that about you.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  But I think everyone kind of wants that.

• 19:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  I really do. I believe most people kind of want it because I think that the people who loudly proclaim to not want it

• 19:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  also weirdly want it.

• 19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Well, everyone wants luxury, right?

• 19:14Speaker 03

  Everybody seems to want- I like- I don't want the responsibility of the ruling class, and I have no like- I don't want to like oppress people because that takes effort and energy, I don't have it-

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, that's the thing, yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  But I want to- I want to see what it is.

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  I really do.

• 19:29Stavros Halkias?

  You want to be in the room.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  I'm curious as to how the whole thing works.

• 19:32Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  I don't think there's any value in- in- in- in- in not understanding how it works.

• 19:39Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 19:39Speaker 03

  And as I've met, and I've met some of these people now-

• 19:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, you have, yeah, yeah.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  It is so boring.

• 19:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I- that's-

• 19:45Speaker 03

  So boring stoppers.

• 19:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  It is unreal. It's the banality of evil or whatever.

• 19:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's so true.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  It is so boring. It is all just really so someone can have like a tenth house.

• 19:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  Everyone.

• 19:58Stavros Halkias?

  For nothing, for a number to go up on a screen, people are dying.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  No, it's terrible.

• 20:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  And you'd think it's like, people talk about the, the occult and that there's some like these blood rites and all this like interesting like, maybe they're lizards that live in the earth or maybe they're all like united because of these blood rituals they do. Maybe they're a different species or something. No, they, they actually just really are kind of trying to preserve their position.

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  In, in, and, and, and most of them have no idea what's going on. And then there's 10% that do.

• 20:33Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  And those are the ones who are really nefarious.

• 20:36Stavros Halkias?

  Real demons. And by the way, and, and I, the one good thing Elon Musk has done is demystified rich guys.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  It's sad.

• 20:42Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's sad. That's a tough guy for, for you guys like you. People, yeah. Cause he's a dork and a half.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  It's sad.

• 20:49Stavros Halkias?

  And he's pathetic.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  I've attacked him. I've said him and that because I'm, I'm.

• 20:56Stavros Halkias?

  There's no dignity in that.

• 20:57Speaker 03

  There's no dignity.

• 20:59Stavros Halkias?

  And, and pretending to win, dude, he paid a guy to, to, so he's ranks higher in a video game. Did you know that?

• 21:06Speaker 03

  It's so bad. But it actually shows you the emptiness of money, which it is, it, it, life is not about having lots of money. It's about community and love and fam- it's about all the things that we know it's about. But what Elon has done, I think, has exposed that there is no amount of money.

• 21:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  There's no amount of money that you can give a human being.

• 21:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Where they won't hile Hitler for kicks.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  There's no amount of money you can pay someone. Just go, just go, if we give you 300 million, just don't seek.

• 21:41Stavros Halkias?

  Don't do that.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  And you go, it's not enough.

• 21:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's not enough.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  A trillion won't be enough.

• 21:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, ah, it's so sad to want to, to be rich and care what people, to want people to think you're cool.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's, I mean, that's high school behavior.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  That's the, that's why.

• 21:58Stavros Halkias?

  But that is the currency they can't, they don't have.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  And that's what I hate about the manifestation of wealth now.

• 22:02Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  Is that they know who I am.

• 22:05Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Or who you are.

• 22:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Or who Andrew Schultz is, or who, or, or anybody. They are, uh, they like, like, I'm like, dude, you should be like, oh, you rat. Oh, you yell every week. This idea, th- there is something, there was something refreshing about people who would just live in their castles in Greenwich, Connecticut, or wherever, and just be evil.

• 22:28Stavros Halkias?

  I like my Republicans in suits.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  These guys are-

• 22:31Stavros Halkias?

  Put a fucking suit on.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  These guys are-

• 22:33Stavros Halkias?

  Don't have a stylish.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  For sure. They're too exposed to be really interesting.

• 22:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  They're too exposed to be interesting. There's no mystery to Elon, really.

• 22:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  I'm not like, ooh, what makes him tick?

• 22:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  No one, everyone knows.

• 22:46Stavros Halkias?

  Pathetically, yeah. It's like a pathetic need for approval. It's like being a comedian. It's insane.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  But then I donated money to the fire people.

• 22:53Stavros Halkias?

  There you go.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  You know? And not the rich ones.

• 22:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  I, I Al-ta-dina, not the Palestinians. I feel bad for the people in the Palestinians.

• 23:00Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, but they'll be okay.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  But here's the reality. I also dislike a lot of them.

• 23:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. You have some personal enemies.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  I have personal enemies that I just don't like.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  There's people that, that dislike. I get looks. You think, if you give my fat ass a look in Irwan when I'm eating my burrito and your house burns down, well, maybe God got involved.

• 23:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, that is, you are truly the like-

• 23:25Speaker 03

  But here's the other thing somebody said to me once, they go, there's all the socialists and stuff like that. They go, you make the rich more uncomfortable than anyone because I go to the places they are.

• 23:33Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  And I sit there and they're horrified.

• 23:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:36Speaker 03

  And so it is something where it's like, I grew up with these movies like, uh, Trading Places or Curly Sew or whatever.

• 23:43Stavros Halkias?

  I was just gonna say this, but go ahead. Yeah, yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  I grew up with these things where homeless or Caddyshack, where homeless type people-

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's the flip, yes.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Would then go and invade these spaces. And I do that all the time. I just walk into these places and not everyone is thrilled.

• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  No. Well, that's what I was gonna say. You're the stereotype of the, you are the fat, loud-mouthed Long Islander.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Guy that they don't want in.

• 24:03Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, there goes the neigh- you're, there goes the neighborhood for billionaires.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 24:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? It's like, it is a white guy.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:10Stavros Halkias?

  But it's a fat, low-class Irish white guy.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  And the voice is working class.

• 24:13Stavros Halkias?

  The voice, yes.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Very working-class guy.

• 24:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  So, so they're not thrilled with it. So it's my own little, I mean, would Mao respect it? Who knows?

• 24:24Speaker 03

  I know many of your audience is like, it's not enough. It will never be enough. But it'll never be enough. But it's something.

• 24:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  It is, it is wild to watch the Elon stuff and it's wild to watch the tech people in general because of the rich people that I've seen in my life or have met, the tech people are by far the creepiest.

• 24:44Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  And their intentions are by far

• 24:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  the worst. And I did a whole episode where I talked about it where I'm like, I don't think they care. Not only that, America, I don't think they're fans of humanity.

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right, for sure.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  It gets them excited.

• 24:58Stavros Halkias?

  These are people who don't understand the simple pleasures of an Irish drunken fistfight and, and intercourse-

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Or bacon, egg and cheese.

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  Bacon, egg and cheese.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  In a hungover morning.

• 25:07Stavros Halkias?

  Trying to have intercourse, but your dick's soft from all the drugs in your system.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 25:12Stavros Halkias?

  They don't know what that's like. They bio hack their dicks hard.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Or you're gay.

• 25:15Stavros Halkias?

  Or you're gay, yeah.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  For whatever reason, your penis isn't working.

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. We come at the issue from two separate sides.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Whatever it is, whatever the reason, or you're drunk and gay, you know, it's, I get it.

• 25:30Stavros Halkias?

  They don't know, they don't know the imperfect beauties of life, you know, and they don't, they don't take a joy from what it means to be a fucking human being.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  I've always said like, you shouldn't get too much richer than being able to like, appreciate living by a body of water.

• 25:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  Like, you should be able to go, you know, I live by the beach, that's kinda cool.

• 25:48Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, dude.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  You shouldn't get so, so crazy rich that you go, how do I terraform another planet?

• 25:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  I do believe that.

• 25:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right. We need some stops here, folks. We need some caps here. We need a higher, you know, and, and it is, yeah, it's like, these tech guys, like, the worst thing in the world is fucking, uh, Zuckerberg clearly going on testosterone. Cause now he's like, I'm cool, I can fight.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  No, it's none of it's good.

• 26:17Stavros Halkias?

  Now I'm masculine, it's like-

• 26:18Speaker 03

  None of it's good. They should never appear. They should appear in public twice a year. They should appear in public twice a year. Like, by the way, that's the way the old school guys used to do it. They would show up at like a shareholder meeting and then once at court.

• 26:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  And they would show up like twice a year. And they didn't like being photographed and they didn't like being.

• 26:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right, they didn't like it.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  They hated it.

• 26:38Stavros Halkias?

  And here's the other thing, how about, what happened to throwing us a fucking bone? What, I'm sure the Carnegie's and the fucking, uh, you know, the Vanderbilts, the Rockefeller's. They sucked your great grandfathers dry. They took them for all they were, they didn't pay them a living wage, but we got a fucking opera house out of it.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Give us a theater.

• 26:57Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking theater. A library, you fucks.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  Give us the Zuckerberg Center for the Performing Arts. Let me see Gypsy at the Zuckerberg Theater for the Performing Arts.

• 27:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, let me play the Zuckerberg.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  By the way, Starbuck, that's just a great point. How nightmarish is it gonna be in like 20 years if they start doing that? Where it's like, you're sitting there, you're like.

• 27:17Stavros Halkias?

  And it's all AI-generated ballet?

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Where are we gonna see this? We're going to the Sam Altman Center. Just make a laugh, it's just gonna be, and it's just these five tech freaks, every street is named after them?

• 27:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I mean, that's fucking, that's, everything, every person you know, every name we know. Like, I saw a list of, like, the only slaveholders in New York.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:40Stavros Halkias?

  And it's every street name. Every street, it's like, there was 12, there's 12, yeah, there's 12 guys that had slaves.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Zekendorf.

• 27:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's every street you know in New York. It's like, every fucking piece of shit. And these current billionaires won't even do that, they won't even, they just want to be cool. They wanna fucking do jujitsu and it's like, just be a dork. I'm shocked at the people that are ruining the world are such fucking losers.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  I wish that there was a way that I could get in a room with them and sit them all down and go, "I know what you wanna do."

• 28:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  "But you're losing right now, it's not good." "And if you would just listen to me, because evil's not easy." "I'd have a chorus, I'd have a chorus, it would be called Evil's Not Easy."

• 28:27Speaker 03

  And it would be about how to be a villain, how to be a real villain. I, I have studied and respected the real villains without them, you don't have heroes.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  It's true, it's true. Like, you need to push against something. What are you pushing against?

• 28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful, yes.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  I, I'm, so I, evil's not easy, and it's a course, and it's me, and I sit in a room with Vivek, and Elon, and Zuck, and Tim Cook, who's somehow, like, just this was strange, like, is he AI? Is he alive?

• 29:00Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know about Tim Cook.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  And Altman, he's the Apple guy, and then Altman and all these guys, and I go, listen, guys, I like, and I, and I, and I give them props. I go, Sam Altman, what you're doing in Africa is good, because it's out of view. So that's good.

• 29:14Stavros Halkias?

  Check for evil. We don't know what you're up to. That's very evil.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  Sam Altman, giving everyone a biometric crypto when they're born, so you could just give them money, so you can enslave them in a gas system, or you're doing it in Africa, we don't really know what it is, and no one's really reporting on it, and that whistleblower turns up dead? You're on the right track.

• 29:33Stavros Halkias?

  Whistleblower's Dead is one of the most classic forms of evil possible.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Elon, Sieg Heiling on America's Got Talent? Not good. That's not good. Zuckerberg, a three-hour thing with Rogue, that's not great. That's not great.

• 29:50Stavros Halkias?

  The, the Nazi shit is like, it's like, not only are you a fucking piece of shit, but it's like, you're a hack. You couldn't come up with something, it's like...

• 29:58Speaker 03

  It's weird, because it's clearly, and listen, I, I don't, I don't know that the guy, I don't think he's a Nazi, but I don't know, is he trolling? But it is a, it is a weird salute that, there's no other, there's no other way.

• 30:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, there's no positive...

• 30:12Speaker 03

  No, I agree.

• 30:13Stavros Halkias?

  If you're trolling, you're a 50-year-old billionaire who's a troll.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  It's not good if he's trolling, but I'm wondering, like, what, what is he doing? Like, what is the thought process?

• 30:24Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I really think it's pretty simple, and it's like, every time he's tried, he, he's a masterclass in losing public support. Because remember, like, 10 years ago...

• 30:36Stavros Halkias?

  If you're watching any movie and they have like, uh, it's Iron Man.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a cool thing.

• 30:41Stavros Halkias?

  Like, Iron Man calls Musk and he's like, yeah, I'm using some of the tech you sent over. Or if they ever needed shorthand for a genius in the mo- you know, if it's a period piece, they say Einstein.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:52Stavros Halkias?

  Ten years ago, they say Elon Musk.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 30:54Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone viewed him as a genius.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:56Stavros Halkias?

  And then it became ve- when he started posting, and it's like, wait, this guy's just stealing memes and tweets?

• 31:02Speaker 03

  I think the problem is the exposure level. I think that I.

• 31:06Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  It, it, what always interests me a lot about people is that people lust for fame.

• 31:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  Which has so many downsides.

• 31:14Stavros Halkias?

  It's bad.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Whereas money has not a ton of downsides.

• 31:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  Like, there are downsides to having money.

• 31:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  But there's a lot less.

• 31:20Stavros Halkias?

  Too much of it eats at your soul.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  It eats at your soul.

• 31:22Stavros Halkias?

  There's just not, there's not, yeah, but you can get past that.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  But fame's a whole, it's a very like paradigm shifting thing. It's destabilizing. It's weird. And what's interesting to me is about his lust for fame.

• 31:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  I, I think is one of those things that makes me slightly uncomfortable. I think him and Trump are about to have a showdown. I think it's coming.

• 31:43Stavros Halkias?

  That will be hilarious.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  I, I think it's coming. I, I really believe it's coming.

• 31:49Stavros Halkias?

  The finals of like RuPaul's Drag Race level. I mean.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Trump's gonna win.

• 31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Trump's gonna handle him. It's not even close. He's gonna handle him. He's gonna handle him.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  It's gonna handle.

• 31:56Stavros Halkias?

  Musk does not know it's coming his way. Well, that's why, when I'm going back to the Sig Heil shit.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  See him as a fall guy too. Trump might be looking at him and going like, let him just do what he's doing.

• 32:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's what scares me as a not fan of Trump is like, he will figure out a way to harness how much of a fucking loser Elon is. And get out of some serious trouble. And yeah, we will actually be happy. We'll be like, good job, Trump for a second, you know?

• 32:23Speaker 03

  It, it, if you've wa- if you watch him, I've never met him.

• 32:26Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:27Speaker 03

  I know people that know him well. He has these weird political instincts that no one knows where they're from. But they're unmatched. And they're, and they're all, he's always weirdly like hitting the notes. When he needs to hit the note.

• 32:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  And I think one of the reasons, he looked at this whole thing and he goes, I need guys around me who can go down.

• 32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  I think he looks at it, I think he looks at it and goes, I need some guys around me that can go down.

• 32:59Stavros Halkias?

  I think he's got like a tabloid mind. Like he knows like big, like.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  What's reality TV?

• 33:04Stavros Halkias?

  Reality TV is what it is.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  It's like he's manufactured.

• 33:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're right, yeah.

• 33:08Speaker 03

  And I, I think what he's been able to do is like, look at guys who think they're using him.

• 33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  I believe they all think they're using him. I think he's going, no, no, no, I'm using you. You don't even know it.

• 33:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  I know you think you're using me. I'm actually using you. That's what I think, but I don't know.

• 33:25Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it is, again, Queens real estate developer. All of those, it's kinda like that Irish shit of like, he grew, he's taking that like down and dirty shit.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  He knows the things that we're saying these guys have no clue about. He's observed them.

• 33:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  He's not in fistfights and all these working class things.

• 33:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  But he's observed them. He gets what, he goes, oh, I get what that guy got out of that.

• 33:48Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  So he's able to, so I, I think him and Elon are on a crash course.

• 33:52Stavros Halkias?

  That will be very interesting. We'll see what happens. Uh, you know, hopefully personally, I'd love to see them both take each other out, but you know, whatever.

• 34:29Speaker 04

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• 34:38Speaker 05

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• 34:45Stavros Halkias?

  Um, have you ever had a fall guy situation? Have you ever had like a

• 34:49Speaker 03

  No, because I don't.

• 34:50Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe when you're on cocaine selling subprime mortgages. Was there ever like, did you ever see anybody go down? Did you ever see anybody's life ruined?

• 34:59Speaker 03

  No one's life got ruined just because they committed financial crimes.

• 35:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  I don't know if you've been to America. I know you're Greek and you just got here. Welcome. No, I I've never seen, no, truly, to be honest with you. Uh, because it was all predominantly legal.

• 35:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Subprime mortgages were never illegal.

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  Fraud's illegal.

• 35:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  But subprime mortgages were never legal. You alleviate the burden of illegality when you just go, you don't have to ask for someone's income.

• 35:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  So it was all legal stuff. And then the taxpayers bailed out these guys.

• 35:38Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  And everybody kinda was, you know, relatively unscathed. I mean, I knew guys that were super really bad doing fraud and shit. They got in trouble. But that was years later. They started doing like loan modifications and shit like that. But I was never at the top. I was like a little guy cold calling. I was just nobody.

• 35:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So take me through your like, the like, um, uh, the timeline of your jobs. You started, you're a lifeguard.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  I was a lifeguard.

• 36:06Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you were a child actor.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  I was a child actor.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Six to 12.

• 36:11Stavros Halkias?

  What did you, oh yeah, we talked about on your podcast.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, a lot, but a lot, a lot of stuff never, never, never, never got molested.

• 36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Never got molested.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  Was hot.

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think that would have made you straight somehow?

• 36:20Speaker 03

  It might, not only would it have made me straight, it would have made me successful. Which I also wasn't.

• 36:25Stavros Halkias?

  Tim on Nickelodeon?

• 36:26Speaker 03

  I was on like Sesame Street, which was like free.

• 36:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  There was no money in that.

• 36:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  It was like public television.

• 36:31Stavros Halkias?

  With the bowl cut.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  That's how far I got.

• 36:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Public television.

• 36:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. And your parents were supportive of you being a child? How do you even, what happened?

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, because they kinda were, that was, there was a certain. Uh, boomer thing where they were like, my kid's a star and he's gonna bail me out of the mess. I've got my stuff.

• 36:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Like, sure, we're in a hell of a lot of debt.

• 36:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  But wait till they get a load of him.

• 36:51Stavros Halkias?

  Right. What you learn how to tap dance.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  And they, they, yeah, well, he can tap dance and he could get us out of debt. And, and it just still goes on. It's like every lunatic dad who's in this bleacher screaming.

• 37:02Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  That their son's gonna be the Heisman winner.

• 37:04Stavros Halkias?

  The Costco guys.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  All of it, all of it. It's, it's a very American thing to pimp your children out.

• 37:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  To get out of horrible debt. That you got into. It's an incredibly American thing to look at your child and go, actually, uh, we're not fucked. You're a star.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're gonna do it. You're gonna sing our way out of this.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  So then I got, um, when I was like 11 or 12, I started to gain weight and then it was over. And you go through puberty. It's over. I mean, these casting directors, they throw you out. They throw you out.

• 37:36Stavros Halkias?

  You hit the wall at 11.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  No, no one's trying to take you to the palm, you know, like this is, no one wants to go to Smith and Wills, he's with you. Uh, and then I started doing, uh, like junior lifeguard and then I was a lifeguard at a beach club, which meant I never saved anyone.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  No one deserved to be saved. Uh, it was, I was a pool lifeguard. They would bring you food. You would sit in the chair and they'd bring chicken rolls.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Pizza and you'd sit there and eat. And then the, the owner of the beach club would go, you guys can't eat in the chair. He goes, it's actually disgusting.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  And, and we would look and we'd have like barbecue sauce on our face.

• 38:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  Barbecue chicken pizza and, you know, once we missed a save, he came up to me, he goes, you guys, the, the mother said she had to jump in and save her kid. And not you guys. And we were like, we don't even, we don't even know what you're talking about.

• 38:23Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, man.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  So it was, it was, it was one of those things where it was like, you would just abuse power, you know.

• 38:28Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. Once you get it.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Stop running.

• 38:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 38:31Speaker 03

  Stop running. No running on the deck.

• 38:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  You know what I mean, like, stuff like that. And then that was over, and then I did, um, I went to, you know, I finished high school and then I got into mortgages. I was cold calling.

• 38:44Stavros Halkias?

  Out of, out of high school.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, uh, community college, after community college, I would go and just cold call mortgages. And that was like right on the cusp of it ending, which was like 2004, 2005.

• 38:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  And I was in part time, they were robbing me, I never got like the money I deserved. They, they're like, "Yeah, yeah, we'll get you a commission on the deal, we'll pay you on the deal," and you'd, you know, dumb shit, like, they give you a grand every now and then, a couple of grand here and there. And then I made a little bit of money, and I was enough where I was like, "Oh, maybe this would be a career." And then immediately, as soon as I made any money, it just, mortgage meltdown, total collapse.

• 39:14Stavros Halkias?

  You bought a house too, weren't you underwater?

• 39:16Speaker 03

  I bought a house, I was 22, 21 years old, and I bought a house zero, zero down.

• 39:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  No money down, $600,000 house, 22 years old. Rented half of it, they were like, "Just buy it and rent it, you'll be good." And, and it, it, it worked for a couple of years, and then, and it was like, oh, I, then I was way underwater. The house was like, I was like 200 grand underwater. I talked to people, they'd go, "Just fuck it, just leave."

• 39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  And I just left, because there was nothing to do.

• 39:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  And then I just moved to New York City, I had no credit score for 10 years.

• 39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  And I worked shit jobs, you know.

• 39:49Stavros Halkias?

  Where's the, what's up with the house now, who's living there now, man?

• 39:52Speaker 03

  I don't know, I mean, somebody.

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  You should go in, see what's up.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  I should knock on the door.

• 39:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good podcast.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  Well, that was, people say to me all the time, they go, "When you were like really drugged up, coked out and drunk, what do you regret doing?" And usually, everybody has some story about like, "Oh, I fucked some chick," or I, "I did some thing," and I go, "I bought a home." I bought a, I, I bought a, I was one of the only people in Long Island coked out in open houses. Just walking, going like, "Yeah, but what if you took the fucking wall down, this whole, this master suite's bigger."

• 40:27Stavros Halkias?

  We could put the wall down, we could maybe put a whole mirror up on the wall.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:31Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe a disco ball right here.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  So it was like, um, yeah, and then that was a big disaster, that was my first foray into being a real estate investor.

• 40:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  It was terrible. And then I was broke, and that's when I met you guys.

• 40:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  But we had no money, being like a tour guide. Doing stand up comedy in a story of Queens.

• 40:50Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. I love them. And so what is the, what's the thought process of your, cause you're an only child, right?

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:56Stavros Halkias?

  And so what's the, did your parents get divorced at what age?

• 41:00Speaker 03

  They got divorced seventh grade. They had a mediator. They couldn't afford lawyers. They got a mediator. It lasted for two years. They lived in the house. To spite each other, you know? And that's okay, because I only turned out to be a closeted gay cocaine addict. Who enthusiastically supported the Iraq war. So, so they, they, thank God I wasn't affected. You know, thank God that was okay. But, uh, no, they're both, I love them both, but.

• 41:26Stavros Halkias?

  Pro the Iraq wars.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  They were, they were just, it's spite. The Long Island is driven by spite and grievance.

• 41:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  It is a place driven by spite and grievance. That, that generation of people specifically. It's why they're so funny.

• 41:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  It's why they're so funny. It's funny.

• 41:45Stavros Halkias?

  It boils up. It bubbles up.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Because you gotta catch, they never caught it. Like I caught it. Like when I'm in my car going, I didn't move here. This just sucks. And I'm like, oh my God, people are losing everything. Why am I even having these thoughts?

• 41:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  I catch it and I realize it's monstrous.

• 41:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 41:57Speaker 03

  You gotta catch it. I have it, but you catch it.

• 42:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  They never caught it.

• 42:01Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  They never caught it.

• 42:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  They would go my whole life. You know, my father said to my cousin this, this summer, we were at a barbecue. He goes, she goes, how was COVID for you? And he goes, well, he goes, I've, I've been unlucky in my life. But he's a wine salesman. He goes, but I was lucky during COVID because people drank a lot of wine. No, he's been unlucky in his life. Straight, white, healthy guy.

• 42:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Who's had, it's been great.

• 42:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  Was in a band, probably got a lot of pussy. Like everything was fine.

• 42:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  Was fine. To say I've been unlucky in my life.

• 42:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  Is the most psychotic statement to make.

• 42:34Stavros Halkias?

  Born in the best generation in history.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Everything, everything. But it was just funny the way he said it. He goes, you know, my life's been unlucky.

• 42:40Stavros Halkias?

  Been tough.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  It's been hard.

• 42:41Stavros Halkias?

  He might've been just talking about you and your mother, maybe?

• 42:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure. And by the way, but he created me. I agree. You take some responsibility for that.

• 42:49Stavros Halkias?

  I agree.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  And you married her. You know what I mean? So what do you, you know what I mean? And he was no pro, nobody was a pro. No one in my house, and I want to say this.

• 43:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Just in case there's any confusion.

• 43:02Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:03Speaker 03

  In case there's any confusion, no one in my house was surprised.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Nobody won anything in my house.

• 43:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  It was not a carnival where anybody won.

• 43:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no one walked away with the big teddy bear.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  There was no big teddy bear in my house. But it was just, they lived together and, and, and, and it was rough. My grandmother was a saint and she raised me kind of, and I love her and she's a reason.

• 43:29Stavros Halkias?

  On your mom or dad's side?

• 43:30Speaker 03

  My mother's side. And then my grandfather was a really good guy as well. On my father's side, I didn't see him enough. He was a great guy.

• 43:35Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  An entrepreneur. He was a lot, you know, I respected him a lot, loved him and respected him because he came from Ireland, had no money, was a general contractor and worked.

• 43:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  And had a big family and kept them all together and did, you know, did the thing.

• 43:49Stavros Halkias?

  So did you have cousins and shit?

• 43:50Speaker 03

  I had cousins. My cousin's a huge fan of you. Massive. He lives close. Yeah.

• 43:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  Huge fan, yeah.

• 43:55Stavros Halkias?

  I love it. That's so fat. Yeah, cuz it's like, it is interesting. And do you know what? They just got divorced for just because? Did it one of, did your dad, did anybody cheat? What's going on here?

• 44:04Speaker 03

  My father was, uh, my mother was schizophrenic.

• 44:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  And she was, those issues were coming up. And my father was as schizophrenic as she was, he was like very, he was like kind of a lazy guy.

• 44:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 03

  And he would kinda like, you know, like a famous story is like, I was, I, the bus pulled up outside and my father was just laying on the couch watching Sally Jesse Raphael at 3pm. My mother goes, your son's walking in the house. You should probably turn that off. And he goes, and then I just walk in and Sally Jesse.

• 44:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Would be like.

• 44:36Stavros Halkias?

  Dealing with teen pregnancy.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  With all that stuff. And my dad's sitting there at 3pm.

• 44:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  He's a great guy, but he just wasn't like, let's light the world on fire with ambition.

• 44:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No ambition, your mom's losing her mind.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  Losing. And my dad had like a band, so he would like practice music in the house.

• 44:51Stavros Halkias?

  Even while you were like, he was doing that as, what was his job while you were growing up?

• 44:55Speaker 03

  He was, he was selling photocopiers. And then my mother was a swim teacher.

• 44:59Stavros Halkias?

  And jamming.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  And jamming. So I'd fall asleep every night. He'd be in his studio, bye, bye, Miss America, with all his friends.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  And like my mother would be like out to eat, my mother, they would just go out to eat. My mother go out to eat every night and take me out to eat to like some, she loved Greek diners. My mother loved a nice Greek diner.

• 45:20Stavros Halkias?

  That makes sense.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  And she would just hang out there because they hated each other.

• 45:22Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. And she's taking you, you develop the set, you, because you are a big diner, you're a fine diner. Of all levels, though, I respect that. You'll eat the grimiest shit if it's good.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:32Stavros Halkias?

  But you'll eat the.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  We'll go high, but we'll go, what does Michelle Obama says when they go high?

• 45:39Speaker 03

  That's where I feel a little bit.

• 45:40Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, I get that.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  But no, it's that song Brendan Eddy from Billy Joel, but it's really not like, it's such a sanitized version of it.

• 45:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  Where he's like, they got an apartment with a couple of paintings from Sears, they didn't account for the tears. It's like, hey Billy, why don't you go into that?

• 45:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  Because it's like, it's really like, she's a fat schizophrenic and he's a lazy guy who's never put the work into his music. The son's gay and on cocaine and supports the Iraq war. You know, it's like a, you know?

• 46:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's the secret, yeah.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  That's where.

• 46:10Stavros Halkias?

  Do you ever, what's, do you worry about the schizophrenia stuff?

• 46:13Speaker 03

  I talk to doctors, they're like, no, they go, it's usually really, it becomes obvious when you're younger.

• 46:18Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  You know, it's not hereditary usually in the sense that you would get it later in life.

• 46:24Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 46:24Speaker 03

  You usually get it, it kind of.

• 46:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm going to tell you right now, looking at you, with no context.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  But by the way.

• 46:31Stavros Halkias?

  A guy who looks like this and his job is talking by himself.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 46:35Stavros Halkias?

  Into a microphone for hours, wouldn't, I would not be worried about it.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  I created a life where schizophrenia increases this. It's actually better, it's actually better.

• 46:49Stavros Halkias?

  You'll be better in your job.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  Four hours of me on Joe Rogan with schizophrenia.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Where I'm just like, and then I spoke, and then Joe, a guy showed up at my house. And he wanted to take me to a secret installation. And Joe go, how do you think you knew where to live, man?

• 47:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  It's interesting what's happened, you know, so, you know.

• 47:15Stavros Halkias?

  That is true. You have figured that out. I have to give you credit. You would be.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  No, it's not like I have a, I'm a team leader at a bank.

• 47:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  You know?

• 47:23Stavros Halkias?

  It would be at least one year before you had to stop doing your job.

• 47:29Speaker 03

  How would they even diagnose me?

• 47:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  But no, I don't, I, I, I, I think that I will, um, I think of the health things to worry about.

• 47:38Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  As my doctors repeatedly told me, that's not even in the top 10.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  He's like, there are severe things you should actually be thinking about.

• 47:48Stavros Halkias?

  I actually just went to the doctor and he was like, yeah, I mean, your brain is the only healthy thing. He was like, he did like a full body scan, you know?

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, the thing.

• 47:57Stavros Halkias?

  I got my fucking back's fucked up apparently. I got fucking, you know, just a little bit of pre, they're like, you gotta get your, your fucking, just a little, your lipids are a little high, all that shit.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 48:09Stavros Halkias?

  Everything is pre, pre-heart disease, pre-diabetes. It's like, how far is that pre, man?

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Well, you know what it is? It's, it's, I blame the government for putting the poison in the food.

• 48:22Stavros Halkias?

  You're actually right about that.

• 48:24Speaker 03

  I mean, you know.

• 48:24Stavros Halkias?

  It is funny that America does get the shittiest, like, go anywhere else, the food is better.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  You can eat bread and pasta in Europe and the UK without problems.

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  Even Canada gets better food than us and it's right fucking there.

• 48:37Speaker 03

  Everybody.

• 48:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It is hilarious how much, and that goes back to secret rich guys who never wanted to, the guys who put the poison in our food. We don't know their names.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 48:47Stavros Halkias?

  Because they.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  And they're more powerful than CIA, like.

• 48:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  People are like, what do you think the, this administration, because every administration goes in, they go, we're gonna do X, Y, and Z, and they get maybe half of X.

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 48:57Speaker 03

  I go, Trump and those guys wanna clean out the intelligence community. They're not gonna be able to do that fully. They, they won't. But you know who will really, I think, after four years, RFK will maybe get a warning label on the Uncrustable.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  That's like as far as that's gonna go. You're, if you think-

• 49:18Stavros Halkias?

  Keep your fucking trembling hands off the fucking Uncrustable, you prick. I'm coming for you, motherfucker.

• 49:24Speaker 03

  If you think the Pentagon has power, Nestle has more.

• 49:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:28Speaker 03

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• 49:44Speaker 06

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• 50:08Speaker 07

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• 50:11Stavros Halkias?

  Did you have a favorite snack as a fat child? Was there like a go-to? Was there like a-

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, well, number one, I loved a Yankee Doodle.

• 50:21Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 50:21Speaker 03

  Because it came in a package of three.

• 50:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure, Yankee Doodle's great.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  Yodels were two, Ho-Hos were two, Yankee Doodle gave you the third little cupcake.

• 50:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  So a Yankee Doodle, as a child, was nice. A frozen Yodel can change the game.

• 50:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, I haven't even considered popping a Yodel in the freezer.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  A frozen Yodel-

• 50:40Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  In my high school, and then my middle school, whatever it was, primary school, middle school, and high school.

• 50:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  Cafeteria, a frozen Yodel-

• 50:47Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  Will do it, will do a nice thing.

• 50:49Stavros Halkias?

  Love that. And now, and now, because you've become such a gourmand, is there-

• 50:56Speaker 03

  By the way, what a horrible thing to call someone. It's worse than just saying the word, like-

• 51:02Stavros Halkias?

  No! That's good, that's positive.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's just such a like-

• 51:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it sounds fat, but it just means you appreciate fine food.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  I just imagine like my, me sitting there and talking to my doctor going, "No, no, no, you don't understand, I'm a gourmand."

• 51:18Speaker 03

  No, you're dying.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  I go, no, no, no, I'm a gormond.

• 51:26Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have a real, like a real, what's a one bite thing? What's just like the best thing you've had in the la- like, Emile, you think about, this is just fat guys talking now.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

• 51:37Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like, you know, we're just talking about, you know, cause for me, it's just like, I'm a simple guy, I'm a steak guy, and I had some actual wagyu that just like, I went to a steakhouse in, I went to Major Domo, and it was just like, just a little morsel of fatty stuff. And then the same thing with like, I love fatty, what can I say?

• 51:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 51:59Stavros Halkias?

  I love wagyu, and then I love like, I went to a higher end sushi place and just the fucking fatty tuna there.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  One of the things, when I'm in New York City, there's a clam bar in Sheepshead Bay called Rindazo's Clam Bar.

• 52:11Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  They have the best red sauce in the world. And just a bite of fried calamari smothered in red sauce.

• 52:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  You know?

• 52:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, a fresh calamari, dude.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  To me, it's very hard to beat.

• 52:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  And, um.

• 52:26Stavros Halkias?

  I love that, that's a great answer.

• 52:27Speaker 03

  I have a birthday party tonight at the stand, I mean, there's part of me that when I just said that thinks, why don't I just not go to it? And just go eat calamari alone.

• 52:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  In the bowels of.

• 52:37Stavros Halkias?

  You would have a better time.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  Thousand percent.

• 52:40Stavros Halkias?

  Without even, without, with no question.

• 52:42Speaker 03

  And you know what the best time to go to that clam bar is in the winter, it's snowy, there's no one there, and you just have some zuppa de clams.

• 52:48Stavros Halkias?

  I love this.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  And you have some fried calamari, and you sit there, and you just watch Russian people discuss things.

• 52:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that sounds great.

• 52:57Speaker 03

  In their native tongue.

• 52:58Stavros Halkias?

  I love that, great answer. Well, look, we had to get a couple, now I'm hungry, now I'm not gonna give a fuck about the rest of this podcast. Uh, we gotta, we gotta, you know, give some fucking advice to the people, Tim, and then of course, anything you wanna plug here in the middle of the episode?

• 53:12Speaker 03

  I have a podcast, and then I, you know, I have stand-up, dates on the webs, you know, whatever.

• 53:19Stavros Halkias?

  Timdillon.com, whatever the fuck it is.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Timdilloncomedy.com.

• 53:22Stavros Halkias?

  Timdilloncomedy.com.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  Tesla.org.

• 53:26Stavros Halkias?

  Actually everything I

• 53:27Speaker 03

  WhiteHouse.gov Slash WhiteHouse.gov They just took down the Constitution and putting up my dates.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  They just took down the Constitution, putting up me and Theo Von's dates and going on WhiteHouse.gov. So if you just want to purchase tickets to the show.

• 53:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you can get a tax credit.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:46Stavros Halkias?

  If you go, if you go see Tim.

• 53:47Speaker 03

  It's alright, you can write it all off.

• 53:49Stavros Halkias?

  Write a Patreon subscription to Five Guys off. Uh, go ahead, Eldis, what do we got here?

• 53:55Speaker 04

  Hey there, Stoff.

• 53:56Stavros Halkias?

  Nope.

• 53:57Speaker 04

  Uh, long time. Hey there, Stoff. Uh, long time listener, first time caller. And a team guest. So I have a little bit of an issue. Uh, not really an issue, but whatever. So, uh, recently, my wife and I took a trip and, uh, used my sister's car to go on said trip. Um, and we went through like a couple of tolls or whatever and racked up, you know, a couple of dollars in fines, you know, tolls or stupid whatever.

• 54:31Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 54:31Speaker 04

  Uh, but what happened was the tolls got sent to my sister's previous address.

• 54:40Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 54:41Speaker 04

  And racked up like an insane amount of like, like fees and stuff, like late fees. And what was supposed to be like a four or five dollar fee ended up being like a seventy to eighty dollar fee.

• 54:57Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  And so my sister goes to like, you know, renew her car or whatever and she can't because there's these outstanding fines that she has to pay. And she like called me and was like, hey, just so you know, you owe me seventy-five dollars.

• 55:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 55:16Speaker 04

  Um.

• 55:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  You know, for the, for the toll. Um, so just get that to me whenever. And my you, my sister is way better off.

• 55:25Stavros Halkias?

  No, dude.

• 55:27Speaker 04

  And uh, seventy five bucks is a lot to me at the moment. So I'm like.

• 55:33Speaker 04

  Ain't a little of a pickle trying to figure out what am I supposed to do?

• 55:37Speaker 03

  But you know what's so funny?

• 55:39Speaker 04

  Just, yeah, let me know. I'd appreciate it.

• 55:40Stavros Halkias?

  Let you know.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  He goes like this, he goes, what am I supposed to do? So the choices are pay her seventy five dollars or stop speaking to your sister? What are the choi- like, what are the choices here?

• 55:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Also, you're so fully in the wrong. Like, like, there's no question here. There's no, like, you say you're hard up for money. Okay, so it's seventy five bucks. What if you totaled her car? And you owed her thousands of dollars?

• 56:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:08Stavros Halkias?

  Is she supposed to just buying you car and be like, no big deal, wasn't your fault? Like, if you cre- if, like, you get a ticket? If you get a ticket, your car gets towed, that's three hundred bucks. You still did it, you still owe it to her. If you do something bad to someone, you have to make it up. I mean, there's no.

• 56:26Speaker 03

  I borrowed my roommate during COVID, uh, Becky Robinson, very funny comedian. I borrowed her Infiniti and I drove it to Nobu, Malibu. And they would give you sushi and you eat it in a parking lot. It wasn't open, so I would just get to-go sushi, eat it in a parking lot by myself. And then pulling into the spot, I fucked up her car. And I was like, ah, and I did the right thing. Obviously, I, I paid for it or whatever. Because when you borrow someone's car, this is a rule.

• 56:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 03

  I think.

• 56:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, this is great.

• 56:54Speaker 03

  When you borrow someone's car, for any reason, no matter what hap- even if you are in the, if you get hit.

• 57:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  If something happened, you're responsible.

• 57:04Stavros Halkias?

  Fully, one hundred percent.

• 57:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:06Stavros Halkias?

  This, this happened to me, I, I actually, and, and maybe you're over here saying, these two fat, rich cocksuckers, they don't know what it's like. This happened to me when I first moved to Queens.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:15Stavros Halkias?

  Where I, in, in fact, I had a little more of a case.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 57:18Stavros Halkias?

  Because I moved the car for a friend.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 57:21Stavros Halkias?

  They asked me to.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:22Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't see that I parked in a place for a ticket. I was like, ah, I'm doing you a, like, but. Even though I was doing them a favor, when you agree to do something.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:35Stavros Halkias?

  You I should have looked at the fucking signs and I was at a hundred fifty bucks when I was fucking you. Whatever you're broke, I had just moved to New York. I had no job. I was living off my like. I had a fixed thousand dollars left.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  You gotta do.

• 57:49Stavros Halkias?

  Before I like whatever. And I had to do it, man. I you just like you. She A lent you her car. That she saved you money. Like, what do you think a rental car costs?

• 58:01Speaker 03

  This whole thing, my favorite line.

• 58:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  In this whole thing, right? Okay. He goes, so I'm like in a little bit of a pickle, trying to figure out. So you're describing potentially cutting your sister off. As a little bit of a. I'm a little bit of a pickle. He's like, do I give her seventy five dollars or do I just block her?

• 58:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  And never.

• 58:25Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, I'm sorry. You were doing what? You were going on vacation with her car?

• 58:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, which.

• 58:30Stavros Halkias?

  So you can't come up with seventy five dollars, but you came up with what? Five hundred bucks to go to fucking Myrtle Beach.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  We racked up a couple of tolls or whatever.

• 58:39Stavros Halkias?

  My wife and I took a trip between you and your wife.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, seventy five.

• 58:43Stavros Halkias?

  Come up with and look again, we've both, everybody on this by guess has been poor as fuck.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 58:49Stavros Halkias?

  And we had, you can come up with seventy five fucking dollars, dude. Especially it's like you did it. There is no argument and you could, by the way, you could have paid cash.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  Just before we move on.

• 59:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Let me do one counterpoint.

• 59:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, please, please, please.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  Do a counterpoint.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  Because I feel like. Let's just do a counterpoint. Let me get in his head for a moment.

• 59:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 59:10Speaker 03

  Let me get in his head.

• 59:11Stavros Halkias?

  Please, please, please.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Is there anything she's done to you that you could in the past? That you could justify not paying this bitch back? Does she owe you her car? Does she owe you her car? Is there something you can dig deep enough?

• 59:26Stavros Halkias?

  Is there something you can bring up?

• 59:28Speaker 03

  Something you can bring up?

• 59:29Stavros Halkias?

  So, so.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  I'm Irish. Go back, dig.

• 59:31Stavros Halkias?

  Dig it up, bring it up. Is there something that will definitely go over well?

• 59:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:36Stavros Halkias?

  Like, could you imagine? Here's the other hilarious thing. Think about this being in your. Family think like I have two brothers if one of my brothers was like well you know uh but I don't have seventy five yeah I took the thing and and he's complaining and he's like Can you believe he wants me to pay for it?

• 59:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:55Stavros Halkias?

  He has a job I don't it's like

• 59:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:58Stavros Halkias?

  I'd be like what the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  Call her and say listen I I'm really sorry this happened I just don't have seventy five dollars right now and then her response will be but you just went on a vacation.

• 1:00:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:14Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Dude you have to I mean there's no you have no what even is your argument I am not sure that you don't have the money you do this wasn't like you know I needed to get to a job interview.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  Guy a little bit though I like that level of entitlement.

• 1:00:31Stavros Halkias?

  This is exactly this is the Irish selfishness we're discussing discussing here.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Even as I'm shitting on him there's part of me that goes you know what like yeah he's wrong.

• 1:00:41Stavros Halkias?

  A problem only he created

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:44Stavros Halkias?

  That affects someone else

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:46Stavros Halkias?

  And he thinks he shouldn't have to deal with it.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:00:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's insane dude you're so in the wrong it's not there is no

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Pay the woman.

• 1:00:53Stavros Halkias?

  This is crazy seventy five fucking dollars that's I mean you got the ticket anyway go ahead fuck this guy.

• 1:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh what the fuck oh shit oh no you know what it's time to do oh Tim it's time to it's time to Mm-hmm oh Tim where'd you go? Welcome to the twisted zone. We're so twisted we took an Irish guy and we turned him less fat and straight.

• 1:01:27Stavros Halkias?

  But I'm still a piece of shit. Let's edit some shit where I have like lightning powers and I'm turning Tim into JP. By the power of the twisted by the po- by the power of the motherfucking ass twisted question of the week I turned Tim into

• 1:01:45Stavros Halkias?

  JP McDade. Let's go. Holy shit. Stav used his conversion therapy beams.

• 1:01:53Speaker 05

  Me, normal.

• 1:01:56Stavros Halkias?

  We're keeping it twisted here, folks. We are back. It's time. We had, we had to let you know. It's time to keep it twisted. And we're doing that right now. Tim had, you know, Tim, um, Tim keeps it too twisted. He keeps it too twisted. We couldn't even allow him to be on this. He's a guy who keeps it way too motherfucking twisted sometimes. And we said, Tim, get out. I'm bringing JP in to keep it twisted.

• 1:02:24Speaker 05

  It's a twist on a twist.

• 1:02:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's a twist on a twist. And Eldis, I believe you have this week's twisted ass motherfucking question of the week ready to go.

• 1:02:32Speaker 05

  We have a twisted ass question. Let's jump right in here.

• 1:02:35Stavros Halkias?

  Let's do it.

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  Dobby, uh, long time washer, first time caller.

• 1:02:41Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, bro.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  So I matched with this girl on Hinge and I was trying to get a second opinion from my buddy. To see if, you know, maybe I should pursue her or not. I don't know. Uh, well, long story short, I took a couple screenshots and I mean to send them to my friend who I'm on the call with. Uh, but it accidentally gets sent into my work group chat.

• 1:03:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  So everyone I work with, it's all it.

• 1:03:14Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone?

• 1:03:15Speaker 04

  Uh, I don't know what to do with it. Uh, about this, what, what would be your advice? I'll just keep it short and sweet. What would you do?

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted. I would keep it twisted. I would be like, what do you think, boys? Should I slam this piece?

• 1:03:31Speaker 05

  Follow through.

• 1:03:33Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think, boss?

• 1:03:34Speaker 05

  Marcia?

• 1:03:35Stavros Halkias?

  Marcia, I have so much respect for you as a corporate leader. I want, I wanted to ask you, should I hit these skins? Should I dog this bitch out the way I dogged out our fourth quarter earnings report, Marcia?

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  I told you to do this. I told you to send potential, potential smashes to the work slack, put it in slack.

• 1:03:58Stavros Halkias?

  Put it in the fucking work slack, keep it twisted. What you should have done, and look, here's what you do. You take the, the whole, the whole office, you know, happy hour. You get everybody around an ice cold delicious twisted teas. Keep it twisted. Keep it twisted, you know, maybe you get the game day pack and you sit in the parking lot, you crack it open, you have a peach, you have an original, you have a half and half. You have a raspberry. I'm a peach guy. You know, I like to get, you know, I like to keep it twisted peach style. And you, you talk, you, you, okay, in all seriousness, which you do, you should have a twisted tea with them, but. This already happened, it's over, the toothpaste is out of the fucking tube.

• 1:04:42Stavros Halkias?

  What you should have done, first of all, if you're calling in, it's already too late. What you do there is you immediately unsend if you can, and if you can't, you say, sorry, wrong. Oh, I'm really sorry, wrong, wrong screenshot, uh, you know, I, I sent this to the wrong, um, group chat or, you know. What, I mean, you, you honestly, there's nothing you can do. You have to, I mean, you just made it.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  The amount of embarrassment you feel is entirely up to you.

• 1:05:11Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, that's a good point.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  Decide.

• 1:05:13Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's what I mean. It's like, it happened, everyone knows what happened. So the sooner you deal with something like that, it's like. If you're, if you're at, you know, let's say you're at a happy hour, you're having an ice cold twisted tea and you shit your pants. And you just sit in your shit for a fucking hour or two and then leave and pretend nothing happened. It's weird. If you shit your pants, they even, they hear the fart, you take a long time in the bathroom and you. Uh, you come back wearing the gym shorts you had in your backpack, they know what happened and you're gonna be like, alright guys, taking it, you know, I'll see you later. But so they, they know, everyone knows what this is, so I say you.

• 1:05:52Speaker 03

  You put shout on the jukebox, you get it.

• 1:05:54Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone up on the dance floor. Come on gang. Yeah. Back out.

• 1:06:03Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good. That's what you do. That's a good, so you could, so everyone's seen it, right? Now, let's get the silver lining, let's keep it twisted. Cause this, after all, what is this if not the twisted ass motherfucking question of the damn fucking freaking week? Right? Still working on the name. Yes, it's out there, silver lining. Some of the people, there's prob, there's probably people that you were like, kinda on the verge of being bros with, that you can now turn them into full fledged, full fledged bros. And that's, by the way, that's not gendered, women or like, everyone saw it. If anybody kinda busted your balls or if anybody felt comfortable enough with you to even like bring it up,

• 1:06:48Stavros Halkias?

  or the people that you bring it up with, like if you have your people, your friends with them, be like, ah, I'm embarrassed. See how they do it? If they kinda bust your balls back and be like, so what did you think? You know what I mean? Like now you, you've turned and embar, and look, you've embarrassed. To another level of connection with your coworkers. You've embarrassed yourself in front of a handful of them, right? They think you're the dumb pig that you are, right? Yeah. That's fine, those people were never really gonna be your friends. And by the way, you could still be friends with them in other ways. You can have performance based friendships, you know what I mean? Like, or you can have lunch friendships, whatever. But I bet you, a lot of people, and not just young dudes your age, like they were, when I worked in an office dude,

• 1:07:28Stavros Halkias?

  like, like, the coolest, most ballbuster-y people were older women, who actually wanted to hear about you getting pussy. Yes. They were fucking cool. Like my, my, my group when I worked as a paralegal was like, um, uh, this awesome, just like, she, she was just like, she was the lady who did all the work, she was just like, you know. In my head, I'm like this older black lady. She was a hundred percent how old I am now. Or like around my age. She was probably late thirties, older, you know, forties, whatever, but I was twenty two at the time. And then a, a, a woman who was like in her fifties, just older black lesbian who kept it hi- high and tight fade, like just awes- bust your balls.

• 1:08:10Speaker 05

  I had one of those.

• 1:08:10Stavros Halkias?

  She was the one who, she told me, there's a, there's a commercial, there's like some Super Bowl commercial where there's a giant baby. Do you remember that?

• 1:08:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Stavros Halkias?

  Or just, and she was like, you know who you look like? The baby from the commercial. It's like, that's ju- you just.

• 1:08:25Speaker 05

  Twisted.

• 1:08:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, that's not a celebrity. That's a fat, huge CGI baby. Anyway, she was awesome, but even we had a white trash girl in there who loved gossip, like, like, I actually, and you know, of course I had a couple of bros. I worked at a law firm, had a couple uh, lawyer, lawyer bros that are, you know, and that I would kind of chop it up with.

• 1:08:45Speaker 05

  Gossip is the lifeblood of the office. As someone who's been on both sides of this type of incident in the workplace, I could tell you, it just, all it does is create energy.

• 1:08:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Yes. Yes.

• 1:08:56Speaker 05

  People are closer with you after that.

• 1:08:58Stavros Halkias?

  By keeping it twisted, you have put twisted energy into the workspace and that's a powerful, powerful tornado. Keep it twisted. You got it. You kept it twisted. Don't pull, don't, don't stop now. Don't half measure. Don't try and untwist in the middle. You'll end up fucking spraining your elbows and shit, you know? You'll, you'll, you'll get your foot stuck in the mud and tear your ACL. Keep it twist.

• 1:09:21Speaker 05

  Send it.

• 1:09:22Stavros Halkias?

  Keep keeping it twisted. All the way around. Make all those rotations. Bro out with some of these people over this hinge match.

• 1:09:30Speaker 05

  I think this will like permanently mark his work identity at this office. You'll always be the dumbass that sent, that sent like the hinge screenshot.

• 1:09:40Stavros Halkias?

  To the to the group chat, but you do sound like But you are somebody. Very stupid and very young. You sound stupid and young, yes. Where it's like a funny, it's it's not like, you know, you're like a forty seven year old, you're your forty seven year old, like married boss. Who accidentally sent a hidden screenshot. Right, which also has happened and works like old guys get caught cheating by attaching a picture of tits to like instead of a PDF. That's not what happened. You made a young, cute idiot mistake. Right. And you kind of, when you're that dumb and this guy's kind of, he's like, I'm actually thirty seven years old. But like. I'm a senior vice president at JP Morgan Chase.

• 1:10:19Stavros Halkias?

  But like, whatever, this is, that's what people are expecting from you and you know what, you kept it twisted, keep keeping it twisted and and and when you find those bros in the office that that, you know, want to tell you, want to give you advice about if you should smash or not. Repay the favor, treat him to an ice cold twisted tea and don't forget. Keep it twisted. That's right, I'll do, your fucking instincts for that are fucking awesome, dude. Um, all right, well, whoa, what the hell? Woo, holy shit. Oh, that's the twisted ass motherfucking question of the week. Don't forget.

• 1:10:59Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:11:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh shit.

• 1:11:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yo, what's up, Starz? Uh, I got a particularly, uh, difficult question. I study brain cancer, the worst type of cancer, but shit, the kids kills you in one to two years. Uh, there's no levity to this situation and I have had no family members die of this particular cancer within recent memory. Or in my fucking timeline, so I have no connection to this and every time I go and talk to a conference or talk to a group of donors or a group of people who are interested in my research. Uh, people always bring up like, oh, my dad, my grandpa, my whatever died and I have no connection to this shit. Uh, and it is the hardest conversation I have and I just do not know how to get through it.

• 1:11:50Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, in a way that makes me go, thank you.

• 1:11:53Speaker 03

  Person as well as a person that legitimately cares about the research that I'm doing. Which I do, but more from the perspective of the fact that I find this shit interesting from a scientific perspective. Uh, which is not what any of these people wanna hear. They don't wanna hear. I'm doing this because I'm trying to cure brain cancer and unrealistic. But a goal that I am legitimately working towards. So how can I bridge this gap and comfortably talk to these people and say? Oh, I'm so sorry for that shit without sounding like uh, somebody who doesn't know what they're talking about, which is exactly who I am.

• 1:12:35Speaker 03

  Uh, thank you. I think you're the perfect person to answer this question and I hope to hear this answer on a uh. You know, uh, not private episode. Thank you. Love you, Scotty. I mean, just not does not understand empathy at all. This is fucking hilarious. I would lie, say you had it and cured yourself.

• 1:12:57Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's the, the funny thing is like, what is the dilemma here?

• 1:13:00Speaker 03

  What is the question?

• 1:13:01Stavros Halkias?

  The question is.

• 1:13:02Speaker 03

  I wanna talk to these people, even though no one in my family has died of this. Well, listen, there are lots of people. Who have not suffered from things that choose to work in those fields that are very difficult and I think if you did some. Uh, patient outreach and because you're on the research end, you might get disconnected from it.

• 1:13:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, this is again, goes back to the tech guy argument too.

• 1:13:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:13:24Stavros Halkias?

  These are the people we're talking about. He doesn't even understand the basic social lubricant of like.

• 1:13:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:30Stavros Halkias?

  I'm so sorry and.

• 1:13:31Speaker 03

  Talk to families, dude. Talk to people who've been affected and then when you talk to those people, that becomes a part of you and I think you'll be able to communicate that experience. I mean.

• 1:13:39Stavros Halkias?

  I don't even think.

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  Sound crazy.

• 1:13:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, I think, I think you're even saying more than he needs to do.

• 1:13:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:13:43Stavros Halkias?

  Because all you, all he, all he has to do is say like, I'm so, he does talk to those people. He's saying he's uncomfortable. Talking to them because they want, but he's not coming out from your perspective. I'm trying to learn from them. He's like. I just wanna tell them and I think it's interesting and it's like, well dude.

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  No, you can't do that.

• 1:14:00Stavros Halkias?

  Can't do that.

• 1:14:01Speaker 03

  If you work in the position.

• 1:14:02Stavros Halkias?

  This is the field, yeah.

• 1:14:03Speaker 03

  If you work in the, in the world of grief and, and, and stuff like that, I think you have to understand that obviously there's a scientific portion of your job. That's the heavier portion, like more of your job is scientific because it's research. But then there's a portion of it that does involve like humanity and being a human being and, and talking about loss and great and all that stuff.

• 1:14:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And like dude, he says it's unrealistic to cure cancer. It's like, don't say that.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

  Don't say that.

• 1:14:31Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking idiot.

• 1:14:32Speaker 03

  Don't open with that.

• 1:14:32Stavros Halkias?

  Who cares?

• 1:14:33Speaker 03

  Just what I would do. Ready? I'm him. I get up there. What does he do? He speaks to at the conference, right? He go, hi, hi, hi. I had this cancer. And I cured myself. It's, it's mental. It's in your head. Watch Jordan Peterson.

• 1:14:51Stavros Halkias?

  If you make your bed every morning, the cancer will go away.

• 1:14:55Speaker 03

  You, you control your own destiny. Okay. You gotta get out of this dimension. I live in another dimension. I'm on a five D timeline, you idiots.

• 1:15:07Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, I mean, truly, I don't get what is vexing you right now. The guy who's calling in. Just understand that, yeah, your research, the thing you think is cool. The, what goes with it is occasionally talking to people that have been affected by it. So just tell them what they want to hear, get in and out of that conversation and just say, I'm, I find this very, you know, I'm, I'm working to cure. I want, I'm working to cure this. I want to be able to make progress on this. And that's why I'm doing all this research and one day all my work, and you're saying it's unrealistic, but on some grand timeline, your, your work hopefully will lead to curing cancer.

• 1:15:50Stavros Halkias?

  Or, you know, finding the ways to prevent it, whatever the fuck. Just say that. Nobody gives a fuck.

• 1:15:57Speaker 03

  We're doing important work here.

• 1:15:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm doing, yeah.

• 1:16:00Speaker 03

  Thank you for coming. I know many of you have had a very difficult road ahead.

• 1:16:03Stavros Halkias?

  And one day we hope to cure this painful disease.

• 1:16:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a horrible disease.

• 1:16:07Stavros Halkias?

  This work over time.

• 1:16:09Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 1:16:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, over time, we're gonna be able to do this and you know. Have you ever lied? About anything else?

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, I know it's tough out there, but you know, but part of why I do this work is because this is the most rewarding work in the world. If we get it right.

• 1:16:23Stavros Halkias?

  Just lie. What do you care? I mean, I just don't understand this question at all. And keep being in the fucking, you know, this is just like, again, a guy with no empathy, no social skills, like a little bit of lying is great social lubrication.

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  Also, maybe stay in the lab. Maybe you don't go out.

• 1:16:37Stavros Halkias?

  Why are you talking?

• 1:16:38Speaker 03

  Why are you?

• 1:16:38Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck put you in a, on a left turn?

• 1:16:40Speaker 03

  Why are you the front facing person here? Stay in the thing. Stay in the fucking lab, baby.

• 1:16:47Stavros Halkias?

  You need, yeah, you need fluorescent lighting. You don't need to be out there, man.

• 1:16:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:51Stavros Halkias?

  You don't need a lapel mic.

• 1:16:51Speaker 03

  Do gene sequencing.

• 1:16:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:55Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, fuck that guy.

• 1:16:58Speaker 04

  Hey, what's up, Stavi? Love the show. Thanks for doing what you do. Um, okay, my friend, I'm in a bit of a pickle. So, this is a long-winded story. I'm gonna try and keep it short. Um, essentially, my mom fell on homelessness for like the third time. And she's been living with me in my three hundred square foot studio, like, not having a job, being unemployed, not paying rent for the last four months, going on five months.

• 1:17:24Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:17:25Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, so I'm just not really sure what to do about that. Um, her life is like, pretty tragic. Um, have, like, has had lots of unfortunate series of events, so she doesn't really have anyone in her life besides me. Um, I'm lucky enough, I'm able to stay at my partner's house most of the time, but like, I am just like, how am I gonna get my mom out of my house? She has no money.

• 1:17:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:50Speaker 04

  She's not really willing to get a job. She won't go on unemployment. I've had her apply for government housing. Um, and for what it's worth, she's sixty-five years old, so it's like, you know, I've been telling her like, to go to the gas station or something, get a job at the gas station. I live in a city, so she has lots of options to work, I think, but I know it gets harder as, uh, people age.

• 1:18:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:11Speaker 04

  They're not necessarily like, a vital person on the workforce.

• 1:18:14Speaker 06

  So I'm just in a pickle, man.

• 1:18:17Stavros Halkias?

  This is a true, this is an actual pickle. By the way, the other guy who said he was in a pickle. Cause he racked up ten dollars in fi- he wrapped up, th- and now he had to pay sixty-five dollars more than he thought. That's not a pickle. This is a pickle.

• 1:18:34Speaker 06

  It, there's a whole lot of other stuff that I could bring into this, but yeah, she, it, we've had a pretty like tumultuous relationship too. Um, she's also has like PTSD and paranoia. So there's definitely some like mental health things going on. But yeah, anyway, love what you do. Thanks. Bye.

• 1:18:52Speaker 03

  Phew. I'll say this, as somebody's mother was schizophrenic, now I don't know what this person's mental health situation is.

• 1:18:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:58Speaker 03

  The real issue with someone that has a mental health thing, they never voluntarily seek help.

• 1:19:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:19:05Speaker 03

  It is very, very hard and very difficult for, for someone that has mental issues. Now again, I don't know.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:13Speaker 03

  But if they are paranoid and they're having issues, you know, there is a tough reality where these issues tend to be progressive.

• 1:19:25Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:19:25Speaker 03

  And degenerative.

• 1:19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:28Speaker 03

  And they get worse if they're not adequately medicated. And even with medication, I'd watched my mother, you know, she passed away last year, but the last several years of her life were not great. It was tough because that's just the way it happens.

• 1:19:44Speaker 03

  The, the answer here unfortunately could be you may at a certain point have to have her committed to a facility.

• 1:19:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:55Speaker 03

  Because she is not going to be able to live. She's going to need medication to just be able to be, otherwise it could get worse. She might start being suspicious of you.

• 1:20:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:12Speaker 03

  It could get hard. And that's the thing. Physical illness is ver- we understand that in the culture. Mental illness is really, there's no money behind it.

• 1:20:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:20Speaker 03

  We don't research it. There's no mental health care. We don't understand it. And I think that's why these things are painful and tough because.

• 1:20:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:28Speaker 03

  I think it's somebody who's asking like, how do I deal with someone who's, who seems to be having a me- real severe mental issues?

• 1:20:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. And I think like. You got the, I think, yeah, somewhere, institution, whatever. Also, it's like you have done a lot here.

• 1:20:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:45Stavros Halkias?

  And at a certain point, I think, if there's one thing I would say is like, can you, maybe, you know, you've already said you've had her, you know, apply for government housing and she won't do unemployment, but it's like, may, I mean, if anything, it's like, can you go to a social worker here? Like, I don't understand, is there somebody who can help her? That, that you don't have to basically try it, you're essentially her social worker.

• 1:21:08Speaker 03

  It's so difficult, here's the problem.

• 1:21:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:11Speaker 03

  And I, I mean, my aunt, not me, I was younger, my aunt went through all of this. God, is it brutal.

• 1:21:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:19Speaker 03

  Getting some, because they just, that, they, you are unfortunately, I will be very honest with you, you're gonna have to do a lot of it.

• 1:21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:21:29Speaker 03

  You're gonna have to get Medicare to pay for it. You're gonna have to say she, you're gonna have to go get a doctor to give her a diagnosis. You're gonna have to get her into a facility. You're gonna have to get that paid for.

• 1:21:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  It, it, it is difficult, it is shitty. We have a terrible healthcare system and it's very, very difficult. But, the good news is, at the end of that, she will be in a facility where she'll get a level of care that you cannot provide in your home.

• 1:21:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right, yeah, I mean, that's the thing here, is that like, you have to figure either that out, you have to go, cause right now, you're going through a lot for maybe no outcome, but like, you gotta have, I do, it does sound like you're headed that way.

• 1:22:12Speaker 03

  And can I just give one quick?

• 1:22:13Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  Other, I wanna give a counterpoint, always.

• 1:22:17Stavros Halkias?

  Please, please, please, please, please.

• 1:22:18Speaker 03

  Kill her.

• 1:22:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yup, let her get her favorite snacks one day.

• 1:22:24Speaker 03

  Do you know how much I regret sometimes not taking my mother out for a deep dish pizza and blowing her head off? My mother was so vicious and cruel to me, I won't do a ruin this, cause if you lose weight, someone might give you money to fix your teeth.

• 1:22:35Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:22:36Speaker 03

  I don't even know what that means. But it's they're so mean. The thing about mental illness, when someone's dying of a physical illness.

• 1:22:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:44Speaker 03

  You know, it's but when they're when mental illness, they're tough. They're tough. They were like, we'd be like, Patty, want to get your help? She'd be like, fuck all of you. You've done nothing for me.

• 1:22:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  It's hard, man. And I my heart goes out to this person because I and I know what it is.

• 1:22:57Stavros Halkias?

  This is very difficult. And and and I will say the other thing is you have to look, you're doing your best. You're doing what you know, you're doing your sort of familial obligations. I think another she says she's the only person your your mom has. Um, and you, I think following what Tim's saying and seeing if she can get somewhere like if government housing is not going to do it, if a facility is what it is, whatever, you have to make that effort. But also at a certain point, you also have to recognize that, especially since you say you have a tumultuous relationship, you know, this is one thing if there's like your perfect mom who helped you through everything. But if this is somebody who's been tough in your life and it's also it can only affect your life so much, I guess is really what it comes down to, as sad as it is.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  At a certain point, you have to live your own life. And so I would say make a general effort to see if if you can get this kind of assistance. You know, if if living somewhere like some kind of facility is what it is, whatever. But after that, you can't not have a house because your mom refuses to get a fucking job.

• 1:24:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:01Stavros Halkias?

  And that's very difficult and that's very painful. But you also have to kind of prepare yourself for that time where you're like, OK, well.

• 1:24:10Speaker 03

  You put her you you have to put her in a place where they can give her care. And then you visit her and you do the right thing, but you you cannot provide the care she needs.

• 1:24:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're one you're one person.

• 1:24:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:20Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yeah, that is fucking nuts. A what what do you go visit? What do you do? You like, is it like going to camp? Is it like finger painting? What are we talking about?

• 1:24:30Speaker 03

  No, you just really go talk to them and they're they're in, you know, varying degrees. Like sometimes what they like to do is they like to turn down the medicine.

• 1:24:37Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:24:38Speaker 03

  So they like to save money and they like to turn down the medicine. And then you'll go in and she'll be really crazy and really suspicious and paranoid and telling you all these crazy things. And you'll you'll go to the head nurse and and then you got to go to the administrator. And I went and I threatened to sue them all. I'm like, you got to give her the fucking medicine, you scum.

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:52Speaker 03

  And they're like, I said that, I go, you guys are scum, you know? And the guy's like, he's like, well, and I said, I just use the word lawyer. As soon as you use the word lawyer, then they up the medicine. Because you're trying to cut the medicine, man. It, it's, it fucking sucks. And the thing that's tough is you, as a kid, can't do anything.

• 1:25:15Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:25:15Speaker 03

  You can only try to make it easier for them to get care and put them in a situation where they can get it. Listen, my mother, I don't know what this woman is.

• 1:25:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:27Speaker 03

  But my mother, that's an incurable.

• 1:25:30Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:25:30Speaker 03

  Degenerative mental illness.

• 1:25:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:32Speaker 03

  It doesn't get better. You can mitigate it. It, you know, so you just gotta live with it and try to do the best you can.

• 1:25:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and it's the same thing. It's like, I help members of my family out, but I've, I'm lucky to have the money to do it. And it also, it is mostly money. Like, I don't have to, like, I check in, whatever, but it's like, you can help as much as you can, but you can't do more than that. You know what I mean?

• 1:25:56Speaker 03

  You can't do more than that.

• 1:25:57Stavros Halkias?

  You can't overstretch yourself. You can't like, you can't like be there constantly. And so, you've already done a lot and, you know, give it a whirl, whatever, but.

• 1:26:05Speaker 03

  You've done a lot. Now it's time to do.

• 1:26:07Stavros Halkias?

  Now it's time to. Take her out. But give her, give her some, uh, concrete slippers and take her to the, uh, you know, take her to the fucking.

• 1:26:17Speaker 03

  Go get her. Go get her.

• 1:26:20Stavros Halkias?

  Get some fucking calamari and then throw her in the ocean.

• 1:26:23Speaker 03

  Take her out on the boat.

• 1:26:26Stavros Halkias?

  They were like, they did Big Pussy.

• 1:26:27Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  On The Sopranos.

• 1:26:32Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, fuck, that sucks. Baby, LD, yes. Look, man, I'm in a predicament. Okay. My, uh, my best friend, uh, his wife cheated on him. Like, I don't know, four or five different times now. Oh. And every time that this happens.

• 1:26:56Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, he comes to me, you know, I'm his, you know, shoulder to cry on, I'm there for him, I'm supporting him. Uh, I may have gotten a little overboard in the whole fuck that bitch parade, but. Um, they keep making up and, you know, I don't really. I don't really know how to become, okay, my question is, is I don't really know how to become friends with her again. After. Yeah. All the bullshit she's put my friend through. Uh, I guess I'm just really looking for some advice, you know, do I, you know, keep this woman at a distance?

• 1:27:39Stavros Halkias?

  Do I, you know, try to make up with her for my friend's sake? I feel like it's driving the wedge between my friend and I, um. I'd appreciate any advice you have on it. Thanks, buddy. Bye. That's a really impressive, like, move on her part is not only has she cucked this guy five times, but she's isolated him from his friends. It's like, that's a very impressive.

• 1:28:05Speaker 03

  Again, it's one of those where you go, I don't know the question, I wouldn't have a relationship with this woman at all.

• 1:28:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:10Speaker 03

  And, and, and, you know.

• 1:28:12Stavros Halkias?

  You serve a purpose in this guy's life.

• 1:28:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:28:14Stavros Halkias?

  You, eh, like, if they, cause the thing people say about, you know, infidelity, whatever, is that like, if you decide to, to try and fix it, you have to let it go, right? The people have to let it go, they have to have that relationship, they have to build on it, but the friends don't have to let it go. The friend is there to remind you and to be there to your support system. It's like, you gotta be there if she cheat, cause what happens if she cheats again? Like, this woman has to slowly gain back your trust, eh, but right now, yeah, fuck, like, I don't want anything to do with anybody who cheated on one of my friends.

• 1:28:47Speaker 03

  I think if you cheat on somebody five times.

• 1:28:52Speaker 03

  And I mean, this is just a guess.

• 1:28:56Speaker 03

  He might not stop.

• 1:28:57Stavros Halkias?

  Five times, yeah. Five times.

• 1:29:00Speaker 03

  He might not stop.

• 1:29:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's not, shame on you.

• 1:29:02Speaker 03

  I don't think she's gonna stop. In fact, I bet she's still doing it.

• 1:29:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're probably right.

• 1:29:06Speaker 03

  So like, I don't even know. I think you just gotta, you know.

• 1:29:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, what's, what is, what do you, you, obviously you don't wanna be friends with one, but what's your advice to your friend? Like, he gets back to her, you're like, dude, I think this is a fucking bad idea. I don't, exactly. It's like, it's five times, it's gonna happen again. You can, you can put, draw a line in the sand, and then you can be like, hey, I wanna hang out with you, you're my boy, but don't bring this fucking bitch. I think it's a mistake for you to be in this relationship. You, you have to do one or the other. You have to either draw that line and say, she's gonna be, you think she's, you think she's done sucking strange cock? And she's not stopping at five, pal.

• 1:29:42Speaker 03

  And by the way, five is what she's admitted to. Are you mentally ill? Are you insane?

• 1:29:50Stavros Halkias?

  He caught her with five!

• 1:29:51Speaker 03

  Five is what she's willing to come to the table with.

• 1:29:55Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, alright, he's not gonna buy two.

• 1:29:57Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:29:58Stavros Halkias?

  I can't tell him, eight is a little much to admit to. It's fourteen.

• 1:30:04Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, I'll land on five.

• 1:30:06Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:30:08Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, just say, look dude, this is a fucking mistake. You shouldn't get back with her. I don't wanna be involved in this. But you're my boy, I will always support you. Let's hang out, but I don't want anything to do with her. That's how you fucking handle it. And then if he does cut you out, then whatever, fuck him, let him get cucked for the rest of his life. I'm just trying to think of what friends of mine that this would happen to. But, you know. Not a lot of cucks in my circle. Cowards, not cucks, though.

• 1:30:36Speaker 05

  It's also on the friend after a certain time, because let's say, hey man, you're back the tenth time that she cheated on you, like, what are we doing here? I don't even have like, anything else to say to you right now.

• 1:30:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. I definitely have had conversations with friends where I'm like, you know how, it's not even cuck, but it's like, just like, they complain about their job every time. Or even a relationship, right? Let's say it's not even getting cucked, it's just like, they complain about the same shit over and over again, you're like, You know this is a problem. I'm tired of hearing about it. Don't fucking tell me. Quit or shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear about your job, so it's like, you know.

• 1:31:10Speaker 03

  Sometimes it's tough love.

• 1:31:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:12Speaker 03

  And you should have sex with his wife.

• 1:31:14Stavros Halkias?

  You should fuck his wife.

• 1:31:15Speaker 03

  I mean, at this point, I think that's the only thing.

• 1:31:17Stavros Halkias?

  See what the, see what all the fuss is about.

• 1:31:19Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:31:20Stavros Halkias?

  How good is the pussy? The only way you know if it's worth him going back is if you get a little taste, a little Costco sample of the pussy. Shabby baby, Elvis, revered guest. Um, I'm really hoping you can help me out with this one. It's a little raunchy. Raunchy? I am a barber. Ooh. At a barber shop. And I work with almost solely women. Um, clearly cutting men's hair. Mm-hmm. Now, there is one female in particular who I like as a person, but cannot and cannot by any stretch of the imagination handle her smell. Her smell? It's, um, clearly a hygiene issue.

• 1:32:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm. She, it's to the extent that I, we have a single person restroom. And I cannot, under any circumstance, no matter how bad I have to pee, can follow her in there. It is awful. And again, we're barbers. We are right up on our clients more often than not, um, touching and cutting and doing beard trims. And it's not just her body odor as much as it's also her mouth, her breath. What? She's just foul smelling and there is such a fine line between being offensive and trying to help a girl out, girl to girl, um, but this is, and she's a heavier girl.

• 1:32:49Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm trying really hard to, uh, delicately find a way to bring this up to her. This is tough, yeah. It's my problem. Um, I'm not the only one. And I hate being a part of, you know, the gossip around.

• 1:33:04Speaker 03

  But at what point does one of us bring it up? Um, and how, how would you do it? Help me. Is there a value to an anonymous note? No, seriously.

• 1:33:17Stavros Halkias?

  Here's what you do, ready? You do a company dunk tank. And you fix it so she's the one who has to, you fill it with dove soap.

• 1:33:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:33:25Stavros Halkias?

  With the soap they use to clean little ducks after an oil spill. You fucking coat this fat, smelly bitch in that shit. And you fucking hit her with this, and you dunk her over and over again, you get a nice froth going.

• 1:33:37Speaker 03

  Can you frame her for stealing? So they fire her? Is there a way to frame her, like hide money? And go, oh, someone's They open her pocketbook, it's her, they go, get this fat bitch out of here.

• 1:33:50Stavros Halkias?

  Money smells like shit. She must have been hiding under her fat tits.

• 1:33:56Speaker 03

  That fat bitch is a thief. You pointed her and you say that, that fat bitch is a thief. And then there is, she's kicked out. There's no good way to do it.

• 1:34:06Stavros Halkias?

  There's no good way to do it. This is a tough, dude, imagine the high stakes game of rock, paper, scissors happening in the lounge of this barber shop about who has to tell her. Look, there's no good way to tell her, but, I mean, honestly? Who's the supervisor? This is

• 1:34:24Speaker 03

  This is a job for the supervisor.

• 1:34:27Stavros Halkias?

  This is like, this, cause it's, especially if it's a, if it's a, um,

• 1:34:31Speaker 03

  But it's nobody else complaining, or her client's not complaining, it's nobody else?

• 1:34:35Stavros Halkias?

  The freaks that want her, like, I'll take her.

• 1:34:37Speaker 03

  I want her, yeah.

• 1:34:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like, can't, can't she take a walk around, she can take a brisk walk around.

• 1:34:42Speaker 03

  Spray her down.

• 1:34:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I do actually think this, whoever is the boss here, cause it is, if I'm going to a barber shop and someone smells like shit. I mean, cause it is honestly professionalism to some degree, and it's like, like if you, I think about like growing up in, in city schools and there being like, a poor kid that came in smelling like shit.

• 1:35:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:04Stavros Halkias?

  And it would be like, the teacher would have a discussion with him and then his family to like fix it. It's like

• 1:35:10Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:35:10Stavros Halkias?

  Hygiene is such a basic human thing.

• 1:35:13Speaker 03

  Something is happening where this girl, there's a disconnect.

• 1:35:17Stavros Halkias?

  And you'll meet, listen, we're of the plus size community.

• 1:35:20Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:35:20Stavros Halkias?

  There, we have brothers and sisters in the community that

• 1:35:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:35:23Stavros Halkias?

  For whatever, maybe it's because the smell is coming from somewhere so far from their nose.

• 1:35:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:29Stavros Halkias?

  They can't bring it up when you have so much mass, but I just had to go buy a suit at, um, at a plus size store.

• 1:35:36Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:35:36Stavros Halkias?

  And there was a gentleman in there also shopping.

• 1:35:39Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:35:39Stavros Halkias?

  Boy, oh boy, did my man smell musty. And yes, he was fat as shit. And that's also a fear, I don't know about you, that was always a fear of me growing up. You don't want to be the smelly fat guy.

• 1:35:50Speaker 03

  I think it's so easy to avoid.

• 1:35:52Stavros Halkias?

  By bathing.

• 1:35:53Speaker 03

  And we're comics, so a lot of our skinny friends smell like shit.

• 1:35:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. Yeah, yeah, that is true.

• 1:35:57Speaker 03

  We also are friends with like very filthy, thin people.

• 1:36:00Stavros Halkias?

  And in fact, before she said-

• 1:36:01Speaker 03

  Some of the skinniest people are terrible.

• 1:36:02Stavros Halkias?

  Disgusting smell, sure. And before she said she's a bigger girl, I was kind of thinking like kind of crust punk, methy barber.

• 1:36:10Speaker 03

  So here's what I would say, frame her for stealing. Get her fired, hide something in her purse or something.

• 1:36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, don't, you don't have to frame her. Leave a delicious tiramisu in the, in the, in the refrigerator. It'll only be a matter of time till she takes a bite.

• 1:36:26Speaker 03

  But there's no good way to tell someone they're gross. It's hard.

• 1:36:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. There is no good way. Um, tough one though. Yeah, I say leave that up to the boss. Draw straws, whatever. And if you have to have the conversation, just be like, hey. I mean, yeah, there's no, there's no like-

• 1:36:41Speaker 03

  You got a rotten pussy, fat bitch. It's rotted. You don't smell that rotted gash. Something's wrong with you. You've got bacteria. There's problems.

• 1:36:54Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, yeah. Just, we're gonna want, you, you gotta shower before you get, I don't even know what you fucking say, but yeah, I would, I would leave this to the boss. And if you're the boss, you just be like, hey. We've had a couple complaint, you know, had a little complaint, everything okay, like

• 1:37:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:09Stavros Halkias?

  There's some minor hygiene stuff, but it is kind of, you know, we're a cer- you literally get to it as like, we provide a service. We're, this is the service industry and it's like, you gotta smell fresher. You're coming, there's a little, there is a little, you can even, you just gotta say there's a little body odor.

• 1:37:24Speaker 03

  And you gotta say to her, you gotta go, listen, we know you're a big fat hog. Fine.

• 1:37:29Stavros Halkias?

  Are you getting under all the creases?

• 1:37:31Speaker 03

  You're fine, you're a big fat hog. We get it, we hired you knowing that. It's not a surprise.

• 1:37:37Stavros Halkias?

  We like that about you.

• 1:37:38Speaker 03

  We like that about you.

• 1:37:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's fun to have a fat, somebody fat in the mix.

• 1:37:41Speaker 03

  You're warming us.

• 1:37:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but yeah, I don't know, this is a tough one, damn. Whew, thank God. Thank God I don't have, the fat smelly guy's a tough guy, you felt so, I felt so bad for them. And they were musty. Like, it smelled like there was like mold growing on their titty flaps or something.

• 1:38:00Speaker 05

  Hey, savvy baby and esteemed guest, Elvis. So, I don't know if it's advice or why I'm really calling, other than to not go crazy, but uh...

• 1:38:14Speaker 05

  My husband and I have been together for fifteen years and married for ten and, um... This motherfucker put me sucking his dick on a porn website.

• 1:38:26Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:38:27Speaker 05

  And I got like a bad feeling and I'm not like, I'm a cool, like, chick, like, I'm a good wife, like, all the things.

• 1:38:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's great.

• 1:38:35Speaker 05

  Um, and it fucking went way deeper than just that. And I'm just gonna leave that there and your imagination can go where it wants. Um...

• 1:38:43Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean you're gonna leave it there?

• 1:38:44Speaker 05

  But it's fucking sad. We have a seven and a half year old son. And I'm thirty, I'm about to be thirty-eight.

• 1:38:54Speaker 05

  I just don't know how I'm ever gonna trust anyone again.

• 1:38:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is tough.

• 1:38:59Speaker 05

  Um, and I know it's possible and yeah, gonna do a therapy thing and all that shit. Um, I'm just like so fucked up from this.

• 1:39:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:08Speaker 05

  And like, I don't wanna date and I know it's like, eventually I'll, I will, but I just... What is that, like, is there...

• 1:39:21Speaker 05

  Are there people out there for like, a thirty-eight year old mom?

• 1:39:25Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 1:39:26Speaker 05

  I don't know, I'm sure there is.

• 1:39:27Stavros Halkias?

  Well, first of all, unfortunately, I'm sure you racked up some views. So you know there are people that are interested in you on some level, so there is that. That's bad, it's not... We're not happy he posted, but it's like... You're on the view count! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, people, this is a problem because it was seen, right? Like, yes, this is like, you are, you know, it's not, your desirability has nothing to do here. There are definitely people out there who are into you, who you can find. This is about you, because this was an insane betrayal of, like, the person you have a fucking child with.

• 1:40:01Speaker 03

  It's actually illegal.

• 1:40:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's literally illegal.

• 1:40:04Speaker 03

  It's a crime.

• 1:40:04Stavros Halkias?

  Like, your husband committed a sex crime against you.

• 1:40:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:08Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, this is gonna fuck you up. So, anyway, let's finish, let me, let's hear her out completely, but.

• 1:40:13Speaker 05

  I don't know, I'm sure there is, but it's just, I'm feeling super discouraged. Um, just about the humanity, basically.

• 1:40:21Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:40:21Speaker 05

  Um, but I'm a down ass bitch, I'm fucking awesome.

• 1:40:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds cruel.

• 1:40:24Speaker 05

  I know that, like, big football fan, I'm a lunch lady.

• 1:40:29Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:40:30Speaker 05

  Can't get any cooler than that.

• 1:40:31Stavros Halkias?

  Dude.

• 1:40:31Speaker 05

  Smoke weed, all the stuff that like.

• 1:40:34Stavros Halkias?

  Getting hard right now.

• 1:40:35Speaker 05

  I like do the gross things, listen to Stavie's, wag, all the things. Um, and so, I don't know. Anyway, give me some advice, or just tell me that it's gonna be okay. Anyway, can't wait for your come be a June, I'll be there, bye.

• 1:40:53Stavros Halkias?

  All right, see you there. But, yeah, this goes back to what we were saying, it's like, you, it will be okay, you are clearly cool. Somebody, you will find somebody when you're ready to, but you are dealing with a fu- I mean, this is next level traumatic.

• 1:41:08Speaker 03

  This is next level, it's.

• 1:41:10Stavros Halkias?

  You have a kid with some, like, it's not just you're married.

• 1:41:13Speaker 03

  The mother of your child on a porn website.

• 1:41:15Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's li- it's a li- it's a crime.

• 1:41:18Speaker 03

  It's a crime.

• 1:41:19Stavros Halkias?

  And not only that, it's just an insane, the per- exactly, your trust, trust is so hard.

• 1:41:25Speaker 03

  Is he trying to help her?

• 1:41:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, is he trying, yeah, he sees what's going on with OnlyFans.

• 1:41:29Speaker 03

  The economy.

• 1:41:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:31Speaker 03

  Just to make a broader point about interest rates.

• 1:41:37Speaker 03

  No, but I mean, I, I think this is really fucked up. In all seriousness, I think you should get out of there. I don't thi- I mean, I hate to say it, but I don't think like, a guy who would do that is, is, is, is so reckless.

• 1:41:49Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 1:41:49Speaker 03

  Who has a son with you.

• 1:41:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's a no brainer.

• 1:41:52Speaker 03

  It's a no brainer. You gotta run.

• 1:41:53Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta be, and, and by the way, feel like you don't want to date, feel like all this stuff, totally natural. You, when you decide to come back around and date whatever, you'll be ready, there'll be people there for you. Um, but look, take your ti- truly take your time. You also have a kid, you can focus on.

• 1:42:11Speaker 03

  Go down to Portland, go down to Hat Ya, get some shallot fried chicken, a little Indian curry. It's a gr- it's great down there in Portland.

• 1:42:18Stavros Halkias?

  It's a good, good eating town, good hanging out town. Just take a second. Of course you feel discouraged. You had a horrific, horrific thing happen to you that is gonna destabilize your trust. But right now you're in like the aftermath of it. Don't give yourself any timeline. Don't start dating before you feel ready. You have a full life, you have a kid, you have, you know, you have, you know, you gotta fucking get some fucking sloppy Joes going. Uh, you got, you got shit to worry about. Worry about yourself. Rebuild. We talk about it all the time. Um, it's funny because a woman who's like been this devastated by a truly horrific, uh, betrayal, it's almost like the same advice we give incels, which is like,

• 1:43:03Stavros Halkias?

  take your time, improve upon yourself, get your self-esteem up, work on yourself, you know, do stuff that makes you feel empowered.

• 1:43:11Speaker 03

  Well, when she said, I'm gonna leave it there and it goes much deeper than that, it tells me that she needs to run from away.

• 1:43:17Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 1:43:18Speaker 03

  And she needs to spend some time processing what the hell just happened.

• 1:43:21Stavros Halkias?

  Hundred percent, hundred percent. Yeah, and you, she said it. She's going through there, but she's doing all this shit. So we're just here to, to reassure you. You're doing all the right stuff. Don't rush anything. You got a cool kid to worry about. You definitely don't want, eh, look, he's got one of two role models to choose from. You definitely want to be the one that he, he gravitates towards.

• 1:43:40Speaker 03

  She's got a cool job. She's clearly like, probably an amazing mom, like, all of this. Stuff, I think you're gonna find a guy that's gonna be a totally different speed.

• 1:43:51Stavros Halkias?

  You'll find, especially in Portland, you don't think you'll find somebody who wants to be a stepfather in Portland?

• 1:43:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:56Stavros Halkias?

  In Oregon?

• 1:43:57Speaker 03

  That's all they want.

• 1:43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, that's.

• 1:43:59Speaker 03

  You're gonna, you're gonna get somebody, you're gonna, and they're gonna be a lot better. And I bet in a few years from now, you look back at this and you see it was a weird blessing in disguise because now you've found someone a lot better.

• 1:44:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, absolutely. In the long run, that is true because either that or you're just like with a secret sociopath the rest of your life.

• 1:44:15Speaker 03

  Right. And that person's name is Elon Musk. So congratulations, you're gonna be the richest and most famous woman in the world.

• 1:44:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's gotta have a couple more. He only has fucking 10 kids.

• 1:44:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:29Stavros Halkias?

  I love rich people who just are literally like behave, it's like, it's just like.

• 1:44:34Speaker 03

  Trailer park.

• 1:44:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's trailer park shit. It's like, you know, what like stuffy people make fun of, uh, trash for doing. It's like, that's how the richest people just, they nut wherever they please.

• 1:44:46Speaker 03

  That's so funny.

• 1:44:46Stavros Halkias?

  Um, what do you got, Elvis? Something nice for us to go out on here?

• 1:44:51Speaker 03

  I saw one that I really liked earlier.

• 1:44:53Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:44:53Speaker 03

  And there was something about a gay guy who doesn't want to break up with the other gay guy because.

• 1:45:00Stavros Halkias?

  Play that one, Elvis. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:05Speaker 04

  Hey, Elvis and esteemed guests, I got a problem. I'm gay.

• 1:45:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:45:11Speaker 04

  And I'm in a relationship and we just aren't a match. And I need to know, how do I break up with this dude? Like, we're both in recovery and I know when I break up with him, he's going to relapse. So how do I do this in a way that he doesn't relapse, you know? Like, we just don't, I don't know, we're just not a match. Like, you know, comedy is really big, just the humor is really big in my life. And he just doesn't get my sense of humor.

• 1:45:49Speaker 04

  You know, whenever I try to play with him or do funny jokes, he just is like a deer in headlights and just doesn't get it.

• 1:45:57Stavros Halkias?

  Or is he withdrawing from pills?

• 1:45:59Speaker 04

  I gotta put him to the curb. I don't know what else to do, but I'm afraid that he's gonna do something dumb when I break up with him. So how do I do this?

• 1:46:07Speaker 03

  And not fuck this dude's life up. So any advice would be great. Thanks. This poor guy's withdrawing, like you said, and this guy's doing a boor spell.

• 1:46:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's like, he's got a fight and slide whistle.

• 1:46:21Stavros Halkias?

  He's thinking about the disgusting things he used to do for crack. And this guy's like, hello, my baby, hello, my darling.

• 1:46:30Speaker 03

  It's just so funny to me because I love like, the best thing in the world is like, listen, obviously, I'm sober fourteen years. You gotta, you're responsible for your own life. But there is something funny to break up with somebody goes, now, listen, I know you're gonna kill yourself.

• 1:46:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:44Speaker 03

  I know you're gonna relapse.

• 1:46:45Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:46:46Speaker 03

  Because I am the only reason.

• 1:46:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'm the best, baby.

• 1:46:49Speaker 03

  I'm the only thing keeping you from sucking dick for crack.

• 1:46:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Maybe you and your whoopee cushions aren't that necessary in his life.

• 1:46:56Speaker 03

  He's gonna relapse because you keep clowning. Around the house. You're doing mime activity. The guy's on suboxone. He's just trying to get cereal down his throat and go to a job interview. And you keep doing fucking like some weird vaudeville act.

• 1:47:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude. That's the thing. Like, don't worry. Look, you can't, ultimately, you can't, this is not on you. If you're on some, you're both in recovery, like, you could say the same thing about you, about this guilt could fuck you up. And you can't, you cannot make this about you. Uh, you could just be nice about it, you know, whatever, and you can't, but you can't stay in a relationship for guilt. You can't stay in a relationship because you fear what might happen.

• 1:47:45Speaker 03

  And your dream is to do, to be funny, it seems like.

• 1:47:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:50Speaker 03

  Comedy is a really big, big sense of humor is really big in my life, and he just doesn't get my sense of humor. You know, whenever I try to play with him or do funny jokes.

• 1:47:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, do funny jokes.

• 1:48:00Speaker 03

  By the way, that's exactly what they want your, someone's partner doing, doing funny jokes. He's just like a deer in headlights and just doesn't get it. Can you imagine that scene?

• 1:48:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:10Speaker 03

  A guy just sitting there trying to pick up the pieces of his broken life.

• 1:48:14Stavros Halkias?

  And then his boyfriend.

• 1:48:16Speaker 03

  His boyfriend's doing bits?

• 1:48:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:21Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 1:48:21Stavros Halkias?

  Just puns.

• 1:48:22Speaker 03

  Just the worst.

• 1:48:24Stavros Halkias?

  I am just unfortunately imagining Ian right now. Like I know, it's like, imagine if your, if your life is like falling apart and Ian's like, hey, man. Just fucking playing scotch. Why don't you skank? Let's skank, man. He's like, I've just been, I just got rejected from Target and Walmart. My parole officer's not gonna be happy about this.

• 1:48:44Speaker 03

  And he goes, how do I do this to not fuck this guy's life up?

• 1:48:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, whatever, man.

• 1:48:47Speaker 03

  It's like, man, I think his life's already fucked up.

• 1:48:49Stavros Halkias?

  His life's fucked, bro.

• 1:48:50Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:48:51Stavros Halkias?

  And look, you just can't stay in this. Whatever. He'll be okay.

• 1:48:55Speaker 03

  You gotta find somebody who likes your bits.

• 1:48:57Stavros Halkias?

  Who likes your bits. They're out there.

• 1:48:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're gonna be out there.

• 1:48:59Stavros Halkias?

  This guy needs someone who's less annoying, it sounds like. Um, but yeah, it's just, you can't fucking stay in a relationship for guilt reasons and break it down. I'm also curious how much of recovery you guys are in, whatever. But this can't.

• 1:49:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:49:15Stavros Halkias?

  Don't they say you're not supposed to date for this exact reason? The first part of recovery?

• 1:49:21Speaker 03

  First year, there's supposed to be some, but that's not official.

• 1:49:25Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure. But either way.

• 1:49:28Speaker 03

  You know, I, I, I, I bet he will be able to move on with his life. And although he will miss you riffing on Wicked.

• 1:49:40Speaker 03

  I'm sure he'll be able to do it. That's my guess. I don't know. I'm.

• 1:49:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I agree. I agree.

• 1:49:47Speaker 03

  I'm no expert.

• 1:49:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good one. All right. Well, Tim, thanks for doing the show, man.

• 1:49:51Speaker 03

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:49:51Stavros Halkias?

  This was so fun.

• 1:49:52Speaker 03

  I appreciate it. Of course.

• 1:49:54Stavros Halkias?

  Just like, truly just like, it's crazy that it was literally 10 years ago.

• 1:49:59Speaker 03

  10 years ago.

• 1:49:59Stavros Halkias?

  2025.

• 1:50:00Speaker 03

  When we were in this neighborhood. When I lived in this neighborhood.

• 1:50:03Stavros Halkias?

  When you lived in this neighborhood.

• 1:50:04Speaker 03

  I was living here.

• 1:50:05Stavros Halkias?

  The time flies.

• 1:50:06Speaker 03

  Still some of the best food in the world.

• 1:50:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome. I do love it here.

• 1:50:09Speaker 03

  It's the best. I love it.

• 1:50:10Stavros Halkias?

  Even if I get an apartment somewhere else, we're keeping the studio here so that I can just come back.

• 1:50:15Speaker 03

  I, I, I think that it is, um.

• 1:50:17Stavros Halkias?

  There's something about doing it in Queens. It's like making a famous person come to Queens is so funny.

• 1:50:22Speaker 03

  No, dude, Queens is still the best. I think Brooklyn and Queens and you know Manhattan has its charms too.

• 1:50:28Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, uh, you know, you got fucking, uh, you know, sexy, sexy models running around, some of the most evil people in the world. Those evil people that we're talking about that are nameless, you don't know, they're in Manhattan.

• 1:50:42Speaker 03

  They're in Manhattan. And, and, and here's the problem. They're no longer nameless.

• 1:50:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:48Speaker 03

  They're no, in fact, they're doing, they're gonna start doing stand up. They all have podcasts. I mean, they're all, this is how it ends. The world ends with the scions of the dynasties of wealth doing stand up comedy. That's how it ends.

• 1:51:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're actually right.

• 1:51:04Speaker 03

  It's how it ends, dude. And it's how, in a country like America, there's no other way for it to end.

• 1:51:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:10Speaker 03

  Than a bunch of Illuminati billionaires on stage going like, fucking, the thing about fucking AI, you know? And just a confused audience kind of banging their heads.

• 1:51:24Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right. You're right.

• 1:51:25Speaker 03

  That's how it all ends.

• 1:51:26Stavros Halkias?

  A great, great, like the, the eighth Rockefeller, great, great, great grandson of the Rockefellers. He might be at the stand tonight. Who knows?

• 1:51:34Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:51:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's gonna do it for us, folks. We will see you next week. Come see us on the Dreamboat Tour and we will see you next week. Bye bye.

• 1:51:42Speaker 03

  Bye bye.

• 1:51:57Speaker 00

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• 1:52:56Speaker 01

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper 7-Up Inc.