#2472 - Jeff Ross

Jeff Ross is a comic, actor, director, and producer. His new special, “Take a Banana for the Ride,” is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/81969837www.roastmastergeneral.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Get a free welcome kit with your first subscription of AG1 at https://drinkag1.com/joerogan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  The Joe Rogan Experience.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Train my day, Joe Rogan Podcast, my night, all day.

• 0:12Joe Rogan?

  What's up, dog?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Joe.

• 0:14Joe Rogan?

  Good to see you, my friend.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Same here, man.

• 0:15Joe Rogan?

  What's crackin' like, though?

• 0:16Speaker 01

  Life is good. Happy to be in Austin, Texas.

• 0:20Joe Rogan?

  Happy to have ya. Are you doing Kill Tony tonight?

• 0:23Speaker 01

  I'll show up at Kill Tony tonight.

• 0:25Joe Rogan?

  Nice.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Of course. My guy. So happy for him.

• 0:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's killin' it.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  He always talks about us as his early supporters.

• 0:35Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, for sure.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  I love that guy.

• 0:37Joe Rogan?

  He's the best. I mean, that show is on fire. It's a fucking runaway train right now.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Everywhere I go, Kill Tony, Kill Tony, Kill Tony. Love you on Kill Tony.

• 0:45Joe Rogan?

  It's such a fun show. You know, what a great idea. Kind of amazing. Nobody thought it up.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Well, he just kind of put his open mics and his roasts and his personality and his friends and has built a community. It's kind of amazing.

• 0:58Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it's incredible. He's the new Johnny Carson. I mean, think about how many, like, Adam Ray's killin' it, selling out giant theaters. All these guys that, you know, came through that show are fucking destroying now.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  This is our tribe, Joe.

• 1:10Joe Rogan?

  I know.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 1:11Joe Rogan?

  It's amazing. It's a good time for comedy.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Did I hear that you have a German Shepherd?

• 1:15Joe Rogan?

  No. No, I have a Golden Retriever and I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:22Joe Rogan?

  Little tiny fella.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Somebody told me something different.

• 1:25Joe Rogan?

  No. I love German Shepherds, but I don't have...

• 1:27Speaker 01

  I have a German Shepherd.

• 1:28Joe Rogan?

  They're the best. You have to exercise the shit out of them, though.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32Joe Rogan?

  They need work.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  She loves to run around.

• 1:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Dig and climb and adventures and...

• 1:37Joe Rogan?

  They need tasks. They're not like my Golden. He's just cool, just chillin', laying on his back, getting his belly rubbed.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  Oh, I follow him on Instagram, don't worry.

• 1:45Joe Rogan?

  He's the best.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  I look for my mornings with him.

• 1:47Joe Rogan?

  I mean, they're a very low-maintenance dog, and he's trained. You could train him very easily, but as far as like, like, guard dog and that kind of... useless.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  My dog... My dog can like, sit, stay, and run around frantically. I'll be like, "Run around frantically", and she'll just run around.

• 2:06Joe Rogan?

  Well, they have so much energy. Those dogs are just designed to work.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  I put her to work for two months this summer on Broadway. She came out at the end of my show and howled with me in the audience.

• 2:17Joe Rogan?

  She can howl on cue?

• 2:18Speaker 01

  She, we taught her, I had the same trainer that did the Sandy from the show Annie, like from when I was a kid. Bill Bertoloni, and he's like, I could teach her. She's like a wild rescue German shepherd from the desert. And there she was, like, came out, jumped on a couch, hit her mark, turned to the audience, and we like sang.

• 2:37Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  She had her own dressing room. Nipsey, her name's Nipsey. And, you know, and then when the job was, you know, when the run was over, she was like, no more work? I need something else to do.

• 2:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they need things to do. Like, people that just have them and have them in an apartment and don't go anywhere, like, that's a crazy thing to do to a dog like that. Aw, look at her.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, wow.

• 3:01Joe Rogan?

  Look how sweet. So she's a rescue dog?

• 3:03Speaker 01

  She is.

• 3:04Joe Rogan?

  Where'd you find her?

• 3:05Speaker 01

  They found her in a, in a, in a bummy, uh, breeder in Reno. During the pandemic. I had an old dog. I had an old senior dog that my ex found on the street. And we took care of her at the beginning of the pandemic. And, and, uh, the ex left, left the dog. So it was just me and this old beat up street dog for a few months. And the vet was like, I got another, a puppy, German shepherd. And so then I-

• 3:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, she was a puppy?

• 3:35Speaker 01

  This one was, yeah.

• 3:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's great.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  So now, it was like five years ago already. So she's my bestie and, and, and, and we do everything. I mean, I just love her to pieces. Like, I can't, even getting on the plane to come here yesterday, as a part of me was like, should I bring her and let her run around the four seasons for a couple of days and whatever? But, yeah, it's hard leaving them. It's, it's like I have a kid. They look, she looks at me, looking for the buzzwords. Are we going? Are we staying? Are we eating?

• 4:03Joe Rogan?

  I know, they get separation anxiety, big time. And they get very attached to one person.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Like, you're her daddy.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Oh, she's just so sweet. She just, she'll lay in bed, wait, she never wakes me, rolls over, arms up, ready to get, she can't start the day without a full belly rub. Like, I almost like hold her legs and play her like a guitar.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  And she just, you know, tongues out, just complete euphoria. Once a week, I take all her collars off and just rub the neck. And just her eyes start watering and.

• 4:36Joe Rogan?

  That's so cute.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Highly, I never was into dogs. I'm slightly allergic. My sister got snapped on by a Doberman when we were little. So I was always a little afraid. And then it was just kind of forced on me during the pandemic, because all these dogs needed homes. So now here I am, I'm a frickin' doggy daddy.

• 4:54Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I love dogs. I've always had dogs. I will never not have dogs. I love them. I love them.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  What do you think it is?

• 5:01Joe Rogan?

  It's, they're, they're just these amazing creatures that just love the shit out of you. And especially if you train them from the time they're puppies and you give them nothing but love.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:11Joe Rogan?

  Like, they're so connected to you. And then, you know, it's just awesome. You wake up in the morning and it's always positive. It's always hello, hello. I wake up with Marshall and he starts whining and whimpering. And he like, I, I do this thing in the morning. I go, good morning, sir. Good morning, sir. He's wagging his tail and he's rolling around on his back and I'm rubbing his belly and he's giving me kisses. He, he loves it. He loves, he gets so excited to see me in the morning. It's like his, his ritual. He knows the ritual's coming. He's gonna get all this love.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Does he sleep in your room?

• 5:46Joe Rogan?

  No, no. My wife is a little bit allergic, so he sleeps outside the room.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:50Joe Rogan?

  But, uh, he is, he's just a giant love sponge. That's what he is. It's like he loves everybody. Everybody who comes in the house, like he meet you for the first time, he's like, I can't believe you're here. He's just so excited to meet everybody.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  My dog checks everybody. She's gotta like check them out first.

• 6:07Joe Rogan?

  German Shepherd, it's different.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  And if somebody has like chemical imbalances or a little off, she lets me know.

• 6:13Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. You got screwball friends?

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, every now and then, you know, comics will be off their meds and they'll come over and be like, I used to know that person. I don't know that person anymore. The dog just like alerts me.

• 6:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, they're very watchful. You know, they're shepherds. They're protecting you. They're protecting their daddy.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  She's funny on the plane, like, I've only flown with her twice, but once, you know, once to New York and then once back after we were done on Broadway and she's like, it was nine months later, she literally knew how to walk on the plane, where to go, where her seat was, like remembers everything like a person.

• 6:48Joe Rogan?

  They're very smart dogs, very smart dogs. It's one of the reasons why they need someone to exercise, like the dumbest dogs can just lay around and do nothing.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:55Joe Rogan?

  But really smart dogs, they need a lot of activity, especially shepherds, because they're working dogs.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  If I leave her alone too long, she'll dig up the backyard. She needs something to do.

• 7:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they get crazy. They're like an athlete.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:07Joe Rogan?

  You know, they just, they need work. They need to go.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  And they don't need a lot of food, they don't need a lot. She's, she's like.

• 7:14Joe Rogan?

  What do you feed her?

• 7:15Speaker 01

  You know, I used to overfeed her and give her a lot of table scraps and spoil her and then I learned more recently that if I keep her to like a cup and a half of kibble a day, that the vet recommended.

• 7:25Joe Rogan?

  You should get her on raw food, raw food or fresh food.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 7:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I, I used to feed my dogs kibble too. I had one dog that got cancer and I read about all these dogs getting cancer. And, you know, they get fat so easy when you give them kibble and it's just because that stuff can sit on a shelf forever.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:43Joe Rogan?

  It's like you wouldn't eat it, why are they eating it?

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 7:46Joe Rogan?

  It's not healthy for them.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Sometimes I put a little turkey in the.

• 7:49Joe Rogan?

  Turkey's great, real food is great. Real, real food for your dog is the way to go. I feed my dog Farmer's Dog. It's, uh, it comes frozen, it has to be frozen.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 7:58Joe Rogan?

  And the way they attack it versus the way they attack kibble, like kibble's like, okay, they're eating, no big deal.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:05Joe Rogan?

  But they just can't wait to eat this stuff. Like they get excited, like the little guy, little Charlie, he literally leaps up in the air trying to get to the counter where when I'm putting the food in his bowl, he gets nuts. They love it. It's real food, it's human grade food for dogs.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Check that out.

• 8:21Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, it comes frozen and also they give it to you the right portions for your dog. So you don't have to think about it, like you, you put in your dog's weight, what breed your dog is. And, you know, whether your dog's overweight or not and they, they. Measure it out, cowherd wise, so it's specific to your dog. This episode is brought to you by The Mosquito Bowl. Here's a story that's pretty incredible. After Pearl Harbor, four of the best college football players in America walk away from promising NFL careers to enlist in the Marines and fight in World War II. And the craziest part, it's a true story. These guys had their whole lives ahead of them, but traded the glory of the gridiron for the brutal reality of combat, where the stakes were life and death.

• 9:04Joe Rogan?

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• 10:32Joe Rogan?

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• 11:02Speaker 01

  My dog's weight is good, but I gotta get her to stop smoking. She's just gotta stop. You know what, it's funny, she used to really hate when I light up a joint.

• 11:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, really?

• 11:11Speaker 01

  When she was little, she'd run in the other room, but now she's just like, oh, that's daddy.

• 11:15Joe Rogan?

  Well, she'll probably get a little paranoid. I used to have a pit bull that she would get paranoid. If she was in a room and got high. And I was realizing, oh, this poor dog, she's getting high too. She was a rescue dog too. I found her, she was covered in mange, it was so sad. She was eating out of garbage cans.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  That's heartbreaking.

• 11:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a friend of mine found her and they took her in for, and then they called me and they said, do you want another dog? I had one dog already. I said, absolutely. And as soon as I saw her, I was like, oh.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're good together, yeah.

• 11:43Joe Rogan?

  It was so horrible. She was covered in mange. She had little scabs on her and everything. It all went away within like two months of food. But that dog, because of living on the street, she could never get enough food. She was always like raiding garbage cans and stuff, like you'd have to lock up the garbage can, strap it down with a bungee cord.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 12:00Joe Rogan?

  She would tip them over and she was never full. Even though she would like get fat, she would, she was never full.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Just in case.

• 12:07Joe Rogan?

  It was just, you know, she was starving when I, when I found her.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  The, I, I had the old dog first and then the young German Shepherd, so the old one had all these street habits like that. And she taught him to the young dog, like the young dog walks down the stairs as if she has a broken back hip.

• 12:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  And she learned how to get in the car from an old dog, so two legs, she, she could leap right in, she's a kid. But she still goes two, two paws up and I have to pick her up.

• 12:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's how Marshall does it.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Overprotective like the old dog.

• 12:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Marshall, I think he probably could jump in my car, but it's like, he knows I'll just lift him up. Cause I've done it since he was a puppy. So we do this little, little thing, I go, you ready? He puts his paws out, I go, one, two, three. It's always one, two, three, up. So he gets ready.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Do they, do they talk to you? My dog howls with me in the morning.

• 12:59Joe Rogan?

  No, Marshall only talks when he wants to come inside. Like if he's outside, he'll just bark once at the door, just to let you know. He's really good. He's the best dog.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  What does his bark sound like?

• 13:10Joe Rogan?

  Let me in. It's like, hey, I'm out here. Come on, you know, he's out till he's not, you know, he's out till he's bored. And then he just lets you know.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  If I-

• 13:19Joe Rogan?

  He's not annoying.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  The old dog, if I had to put her like, if like a guy came over to work on the house or something, I had to put her like in a bedroom or a bathroom. She, she was, she was, you know, a big, big dog. She would gnaw on the handles.

• 13:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  So I have a house full of like chrome, uh, door handles that all have like bite marks in it. Like, the bite is amazing.

• 13:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you gotta give him things to chew on all the time. You know, there's chew toys all over my house.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:47Joe Rogan?

  Everywhere. My dog has, uh, Marshall has like a big box filled with toys.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:52Joe Rogan?

  And it was like, and he just goes in and picks one out.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, randomly.

• 13:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Depends who it is or not.

• 13:57Joe Rogan?

  I go, what are you gonna get? Which toy? And he's like, looking around, picks one out. And then him and the little dog, they play tug of war. It's adorable. They get a toy-

• 14:06Speaker 01

  So they get along?

• 14:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  You knew they'd get along before you got this?

• 14:09Joe Rogan?

  He's the easiest dog to get along with. He gets along with everything and everybody. Jamie's dog, Jamie's got a psycho dog. Jamie's got this little French bulldog that's like a little, a little meat missile.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:21Joe Rogan?

  He's a nut.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  He's great, he's great. He's awesome.

• 14:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, he's, he's nut.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  He's just, he's three now, almost three, two and a half.

• 14:26Joe Rogan?

  He's a little psycho. He's, he's jacked. He's super jacked.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 14:30Joe Rogan?

  He's like this little French bulldog, but he's fucking jacked. And him and Marshall just play insane. They, it's insane. Like Carl throws himself through the air at Marshall. Cause he knows that Marshall's like super gentle and they just play back and forth, but it's adorable.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  If a dog is small enough, like a little Chihuahua type dog, they can put their head inside. My dog will just open her mouth and let another dog just roll her head inside her mouth.

• 14:56Joe Rogan?

  No instincts.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's crazy. He just wants it to play.

• 14:59Joe Rogan?

  It's just nuts that they, those used to be wolves. They've turned wolves into these little tiny things you could carry around.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  I mean, i- i- in a thousand years, they'll be, are they getting smarter the way humans are evolving? I wonder.

• 15:11Joe Rogan?

  That's a good question. I wonder. I mean, I think there would have to be a reason for them to get smarter. You know, some dogs are, like the dogs that are trained, like a Belgian Malinois. Those are really smart dogs. You know, those are dog, military dogs.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:27Joe Rogan?

  There, those dogs, you cannot just leave that dog alone.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  No.

• 15:30Joe Rogan?

  Like, it's like a shepherd times ten.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:33Joe Rogan?

  They look like shepherds sort of, but they, those dogs, they're so intelligent.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:37Joe Rogan?

  You know, they, they are constantly scanning everything and looking for everything. They know when you're weird. They know everything.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. So those dogs have to be smart because they have jobs, you know? They use them, like, those are the dogs they sicced on, like Osama bin Laden's crew.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 15:53Joe Rogan?

  You know, they open the door and their breach, dogs run in.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Incredible.

• 15:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  My dog Central Wim compared to all that.

• 16:00Joe Rogan?

  So's mine.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  She just wants to play.

• 16:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, these are the only dogs that, well, I've had a couple of dogs before, like I had a, a dog that was a Shibu Inu mix and he was kind of a pussy. Um, but, and I had a mastiff before that, but mostly I've had like big guard dogs.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:16Joe Rogan?

  You know, and this, these are the dogs of, first dogs I've had that are, they're not guarding shit.

• 16:22Joe Rogan?

  Marshall's not guarding.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  They guard your emotions, buddy. They guard your emotions.

• 16:26Joe Rogan?

  They're just sweet. They're just awesome to have. It's like you just have love around you all the time and they're never in a bad mood. There's never a day, well, he's never had a bad day in his life. Every day is a great day. Every day he's happy.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Even if you're not there?

• 16:40Joe Rogan?

  Well, he gets sad if I'm not there, for sure. But like, I pull out the ball. It's always the same thing. It's never like, one day I'm like, maybe he's gonna get bored of this fucking ball. Nope, I pull out that ball. Oh, oh, the ball, the ball's out, let's go! Bouncing around, wagging his tail, jumping up. I got a ball, it's got like the stick, like, it's like a long curved stick so you can throw the ball further.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 17:05Joe Rogan?

  And, you know, he just starts leaping up towards the stick. He gets so pumped. I'm like, one day he's gonna get bored of this. Nope. He's nine years old, he's never gotten bored of it.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  When I come up the stairs, if she sees that I have my sneakers on, she starts stretching like an Olympian.

• 17:19Joe Rogan?

  Let's go, time to go. Yeah. Dogs are awesome. People that don't have them, I feel bad for them. Like, you're missing a lot of love in your life. Especially like, people that live alone. You know, it's like, you always have a friend. You always have somebody. I talk to my dog, like, I have conversations with him.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:36Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 17:37Speaker 01

  And does Marshall look you in the eyes when you're talking?

• 17:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  It's a real friend.

• 17:42Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's, he's like, the most loving creature I've ever encountered.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Do you tell the dog stuff you wouldn't tell your family or your friends?

• 17:50Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Sometimes I'm like, hey, Nipsey, man, I probably shouldn't have said that to her.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  She, she has emotional, like, she knows when I'm happy, sad, nervous, sick.

• 18:02Joe Rogan?

  Mostly it's baby talk. Mostly it's like, "Where's my buddy?"

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:06Joe Rogan?

  "Where's my buddy?" He watches TV with me. Climbs up on the couch and sits on my lap. He puts his head on my lap.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  The best.

• 18:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. And when there's animals on TV, he parks his head up.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:16Joe Rogan?

  You know, because it's a big TV, and so he's like, "What the fuck is that? Is that real?" He has to...

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Right. When, when, when Nipsey first came out from the desert, she was, you know, like, six, seven-month-old, you know, puppy, but still a sizable dog. A German shepherd at six months is already like, a dog. And the old dog, which was old, you know, on her deathbed, but wise, streetwise, she was on the floor, and the puppy was up on my bed. It was her first night in a home. And I put on TV, I put on, um, House of Cards. And it was this daunting, kind of scary music. And the dog's just watching, and it's like a shadowy figure. It was Kevin Spacey coming down the hall, his character coming down the hall.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  And as this, like, man was revealed, full screen on a big screen, Nipsey did a backflip, fell off the bed, and ran and hid in the closet.

• 19:12Joe Rogan?

  And the old dog Nada was like, oh boy, she had to like pull herself up in her bad legs and go in the closet and tell her to come back out. Now, listen, it's TV.

• 19:26Joe Rogan?

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• 20:06Joe Rogan?

  It's very easy, it's very convenient, and you deserve to take care of your health. Visit drinkag1.com/joeroogan, and for a limited time, get a bottle of omega-3, vitamin D3K2, and an AG1 flavor sampler for free in your welcome kit with your first subscription. That's a $111 value at drinkag1.com/joeroogan. House of Cards, what a fucking show that was. Oh, what a fucking show. They never should have done that last season. Once Kevin Spacey got canceled, they should have just canceled it. It was done. Or, you know, not. Right. Such a good fucking show. That's a great show. It's crazy.

• 20:48Joe Rogan?

  I saw him, he was in Israel doing some weird thing where he was like doing like a song and dance routine in a small club recently. Like, he's been kind of reduced to doing that for money. Is that reduced, or is that part of the comeback?

• 21:07Speaker 01

  You gotta start.

• 21:08Joe Rogan?

  I don't know. I mean, it's something. I mean, I guess he's just making money. You know, he is completely bankrupt. He lost everything. It's crazy.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  Show business, it's a.

• 21:19Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's not just show business, right? It's also, what did you do? You know, what'd you get caught for? He got, you know, he was an old school dick grabber. A lot of those old school guys.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  No one really likes that. Getting their dick grabbed like that.

• 21:34Joe Rogan?

  Some gay guys do, I think. I think what he did probably worked on some guys. You know what I'm saying?

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:42Joe Rogan?

  Like, gay guys have a whole different way of interacting with each other that we don't have. But I think with Spacey, it was like, some of those fellows were young. And that's the problem.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Power.

• 21:56Joe Rogan?

  It's power. It's like, in the gay community, there's a lot of guys that think it's okay for young gay guys who are underage to hook up with older gay guys. It's a, that's like Milo Yiannopoulos, remember him? He actually talked about that on my show. He was talking about when he was 14, he hooked up with this, this older guy, and he's like, "Trust me, I was the predator." He was like saying that he was going after the guy. I was like, "All right." But it's different. In their eyes, I mean, I'm just speaking for gay guys that I've talked to. It's different in their eyes than, you know, an adult male and a young female.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:36Joe Rogan?

  You know. But Kevin Spacey's a fucking unbelievable actor. That fucking House of Cards was so good. It was so good. Such a good show. I'm glad it's still out there, you know, because there's a lot of stuff.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  It was so good, it made me miss and re-watch West Wing. That's how good it was.

• 22:54Joe Rogan?

  Hmm, I haven't, I never watched that. I think I maybe watched one or two episodes.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  It's like an idealistic version of what politics could be, I guess.

• 23:02Joe Rogan?

  Right. Martin Sheen is like the president we wish we had. Like a really solid.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Long time ago, but he's also controversial. He's hiding a medical thing. It like, we got way ahead of a lot of the modern day stories.

• 23:15Joe Rogan?

  Well, like Biden.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, his wife's a doctor, so she's helping him.

• 23:23Joe Rogan?

  Well, we always have these idealistic ideas of who we want to be our leader. And the thing about the Kevin Spacey character was like, that's probably more realistic. Like, that guy is more realistic, like.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Well, as we get older, we understand you gotta be cutthroat to make it.

• 23:41Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  There's gotta be a certain killer instinct in a president.

• 23:44Joe Rogan?

  You're also most likely deeply compromised by the time you get into office, which is the only way you navigate those worlds. Like, everybody's compromised. Everybody's gone to that Eyes Wide Shut party.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  I couldn't get in, just for the record.

• 23:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, me neither.

• 24:02Joe Rogan?

  I don't wanna get in.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  I know. That's the good thing. A dog can kinda save your career, cuz like, you get invited to some wild sex party. You'll be like, I gotta, my dog's been waiting for me for five hours. Sorry, I, I can't go.

• 24:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, meanwhile, it's better to just hang out with your dog. You'll have a better time and you won't feel gross in the morning, I guess. But I think all those people are sociopaths. They probably don't even feel gross ever.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  I was out all weekend for the Fanatics football stuff. Travis Scott's DJing at three in the morning.

• 24:29Joe Rogan?

  What is the Fanatics football stuff?

• 24:31Speaker 01

  They had a flag football tournament in LA. It was supposed to be in, in Riyadh, and they had to move it to LA. Tom Brady and, and, uh, and the Fanatics, uh...

• 24:40Joe Rogan?

  What's the Fanatics?

• 24:41Speaker 01

  It's like, uh, I guess it's a branding company. They do all the jerseys, they do all the...

• 24:45Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Um, Michael Rubin and Michael Ratner, two friends of mine, did this flag football game. And I was just partying. I just took the weekend off and I'm like, seeing all the football players and, and it was just so much fun. And then, just as the party's really getting hot, I'm like, I miss my dog. I'm going home.

• 25:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's always this thing in the back of your head, like, I gotta get home. He's been home alone for five hours. He's been home alone for six hours. I'm thinking about him. He has to pee. He's a good boy. He's not gonna pee in the house, but he's probably holding it in, upset. Yeah.

• 25:23Joe Rogan?

  Isn't it nuts, like, people think, especially comics, you know, we wanna be up late, getting drunk, fucking off, being retarded, doing drugs, you know, you just wanna get home.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:35Joe Rogan?

  Wanna get home, chill out, relax, watch TV.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  I feel like if I had a dog when I was starting out in comedy, I would've been more disciplined. I would've been coming home instead of staying out all night. I kinda regret that a little bit.

• 25:48Joe Rogan?

  You regret staying out all night?

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I, well, you know, you know how it is, you do your set, you start hanging out in the club, in the comedy club, and drinking or eating or whatever. But there's a certain, I don't know, you go home and you're up earlier, you get more done the next day.

• 26:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, absolutely. Well, it's just you feel better. It's, it's hard to leave when you're having fun. You know, it's also you feel like you're a part of a different society. Society of people don't have a regular job, you got freedom, you're your own boss.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  I grew up, I lost my parents as a teenager, so I live every, I live every day like I could die tomorrow. So I never wanna leave. I have ultimate FOMO all the time. I never wanna miss an event, a party. I went to the Super Bowl, I went to All-Star Weekend, I wanna go to the Grammys. I love life. I wanna make the most out of it all the time. It works against me sometimes, I think.

• 26:44Joe Rogan?

  That's interesting, right? That's the plus side of experiencing loss when you're young. You really want, you, you really relish life. You wanna make the most out of it. You wanna enjoy it while it's here.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  One of the things I say on my show is, I learned early on, human beings were made to mourn and move on. You can't mourn forever, or a part of you dies, and that's not fair.

• 27:09Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  So it gave me this sort of zest for living. You take that loss as a young person, you're, you're afraid at any second, it could, you know, it's hard to make long-term plans. Are your parents still alive?

• 27:22Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's amazing, amazing blessing. And sometimes when you lose people young, you're afraid, you're, oh, you live in the constant fear that it's all gonna fall apart.

• 27:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. I've lost a lot of friends. Like, sometimes I look at my, my contact list when I get a new phone, you know, and you're swapping over contacts, and I'm like, oh, fuck. You know, I've got like twenty dead people in my contact list. Some of them I just keep in there, you know.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  I, I, I.

• 27:51Joe Rogan?

  I got old phones where like Bourdain was texting me. I just kept the phone. I'm like, I'm never throwing this phone away. You know, a bunch of friends who've.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  I look at Bob Saget's texts all the time. I listen to Gilbert Gottfried's voicemails.

• 28:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I know what you mean, yeah.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  It just, it brings me right back to them. I.

• 28:09Joe Rogan?

  Those two guys, that was, those were two tough ones. Those are two really tough ones.

• 28:13Speaker 01

  Well, that, there's that famous picture of me, Norm, Gilbert and Bob that Adam Egot took.

• 28:19Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  At Jones Restaurant in Hollywood. And I show that in my special and I talk about each one, do like a tribute to Norm. I do a tribute to Gilbert, whose family is a big part of my family now. His kids are great kids. His daughter goes to school here in Tex, in Austin. And there it is.

• 28:39Joe Rogan?

  There it is.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  And Bob, who just became a grandfather. So they left quite a legacy, those guys. And I really loved them and they would make me laugh. You know, I would just set them up and they would go and I would laugh until I was dying laughing.

• 28:55Joe Rogan?

  Fucking Norm, what a legend.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  The king.

• 28:58Joe Rogan?

  He's such a great guy, too.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:00Joe Rogan?

  Ayy.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  He was so funny, too. And his clips, I don't know if it's my algorithm or what, but you would think Norm is making comedy content every day if you looked at my algorithm.

• 29:10Joe Rogan?

  Well, mine too. I think a lot of people. So like, people just share them because it, you know, he had so many funny things to say about everything. And such a unique perspective, just an unusual state of mind.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Canadians. I have a theory that Canadians, I'm from New Jersey, so I feel like, New Jersey, I grew up as an outsider to New York. We had a root-free New York sports teams. We had to listen to New York radio stations as a kid, TV stations. And Canada has that with America.

• 29:43Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  So I think they always feel like comedians feel like outsiders a little bit. I feel like Canadians kind of have that.

• 29:50Joe Rogan?

  Harland, he's Canadian.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  I mean, Canadian comedians, you could go all day.

• 29:54Joe Rogan?

  Tom Green.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Jim Carrey.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  Jim Carrey.

• 29:58Joe Rogan?

  Lot of Canadians.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Caroline Ray.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  And a lot more. John Candy, right?

• 30:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, John Candy was a Canadian, yeah.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  Uh, Martin Short.

• 30:10Joe Rogan?

  Was he? Is he? He is.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 30:14Joe Rogan?

  He's still with us.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Those SCTV people.

• 30:16Joe Rogan?

  That's right.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. Now, Martin Short is... He had a rough month. He lost to... Somebody very close to him, but he's... He's still one of the funniest people in the world.

• 30:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he was brilliant. All those fucking crazy characters.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. I was at a birthday party once. It was like Paul Rudd's 50th birthday party years ago and... I remember, I was like, "Let's do karaoke." And everybody wanted to start. Everybody was too like shy to like do karaoke first. And Martin Short walked up to the mic, belted out like a Sinatra song, dropped the mic, and walked out to the valet and left. Just like kicked it off and went. "Fly me to the moon," and he was gone.

• 31:01Joe Rogan?

  It's weird when you get older and you realize how many guys have passed. Like, Patrice comes up in my algorithm all the time. And you know, you just watch old clips. I went on a binge a few months back of him on Opie and Anthony.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:18Joe Rogan?

  Just fuck.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Ruthless.

• 31:20Joe Rogan?

  He would have been the number one podcast in the world if he was alive today.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Patrice?

• 31:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. If he had a podcast. Cause he probably would have. He probably... I mean, it's a perfect, normal transition from Opie and Anthony to podcasting.

• 31:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 31:33Joe Rogan?

  He would have... He would have probably had the best podcast in the world.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Except the guests would never get to talk at all.

• 31:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it wouldn't matter. He would be dressing them down.

• 31:44Joe Rogan?

  He always had the funniest thing.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Patrice's greatness at the Charlie Sheen roast I always talk about is...

• 31:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  He went on last and he was like... He was, we booked him late. He never wanted to do a roast. And he said, I don't know this one. I don't know that one. And finally, I called him one day. I go, we're, we're roasting Charlie Sheen. He goes, oh, he goes, I don't know Charlie Sheen, but I think I could do that. I go, you know him. You don't know him, but you know, what do you, you know, it's, and he goes, all right, I'm coming. He dresses total rock star, like a leather suit, like this whole, like fantasy Patrice in his head. And, and then the day of the show, he's like complaining about his material. He's like, I don't know all these writers. They don't know me. This isn't me, blah, blah, blah. I go,

• 32:31Speaker 01

  Patrice, fuck all that. Pay attention and roast the roast. Just roast the roast. Make mental notes, clock it all, let them see you taking it in, and then just go on and talk about what you just saw. And that's what he did.

• 32:44Joe Rogan?

  No, it was brilliant. Did you see Charlie Sheen's Netflix documentary?

• 32:49Speaker 01

  I haven't.

• 32:49Joe Rogan?

  It's fucking great, man. Crazy. It's crazy. Like, he talks about everything. Talks about the first time he smoked crack, a girl's giving him a blowjob when he smoked crack.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  How else you supposed to do it?

• 33:02Joe Rogan?

  He said it's the best experience he's ever had. He says he's never topped it.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 33:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 33:08Joe Rogan?

  Makes you want to try it. Makes you like, think, maybe. He was a fascinating guest, too, having him in here. It's like, that guy's been through so much shit and he's okay. You know, it's like, how is he alive?

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Some people are just different, right? Tiger blood? I was on tour with him that whole time.

• 33:29Joe Rogan?

  Right, that's right. You were doing that thing with him. So what happened was when he got kicked off of Two and a Half Men and he went kind of kooky, he decided to do this whirlwind tour. And the first one he did, he tried to go and just wing it.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Torpedo of truth.

• 33:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  That's what he called it.

• 33:45Joe Rogan?

  The winging it one did not work.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  No.

• 33:47Joe Rogan?

  But then when he started doing it with you and he did it with Russell, Russell Peters did a bunch of them with him. With comics, it actually worked. Cause like, he would have someone to bounce stuff off of and they knew how to be entertaining.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:00Joe Rogan?

  And keep the flow going.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. And then you got into those stories and it was amazing.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:07Joe Rogan?

  It totally turned around.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  The first one I did was in Atlantic City and he called me the night before and. I was in LA at a party and everyone's like, yeah, yeah, go do it, go do it. So I caught a like 6 a.m.

• 34:22Joe Rogan?

  He called you the night before? What did he say?

• 34:24Speaker 01

  He's like, my shows aren't going good. Every, I didn't know him. He goes, you know, like, all these different people keep telling me, Simon Rex, you know, other friends of his kept saying Jeff Ross could come out and roast you and save this. So I just wrote jokes all night, you know, left the party, wrote jokes, caught a 6 a.m. flu. I walk into his dressing room like an hour before Chuck Zito is literally staring me down going, don't be too mean to my guy, you know, like they're just trying to scare me. And I'm like, I'm here to like, I'm a comedian, you know, and Charlie was really cool. And I told his road manager, he goes, what do you need? I go, I need a podium to

• 35:04Speaker 01

  roll out, big arenas. I want to make it like a show and I need a hazmat suit because he'd been bombing for like a week, every single night. I'm gonna come out, I go, I heard there's a bomb scare. I roll out and it's Jersey, so it's my crowd. And I just start roasting him. And it went well. And I was like, if you're winning, because he's always like, winning, winning. I'm like, if you're winning, something's wrong with the fucking scoreboard.

• 35:32Joe Rogan?

  Old Jeff with hair, duh, winning.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Look at that.

• 35:35Joe Rogan?

  Boy, he looks so skinny. Phew, that's a, that's a look of a guy who does coke. Look how ripped he is. Jesus.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  Oh, man. He was, he was up all night. We had, he was like.

• 35:47Joe Rogan?

  So he was still partying hard back then?

• 35:49Speaker 01

  You know, it's hard to say.

• 35:50Joe Rogan?

  Had to be.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  He didn't let me see that side of it.

• 35:53Joe Rogan?

  I'm sure he was. There's no chance he was clean.

• 35:58Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right. He was a warlock. A warlock with tiger blood.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 36:02Joe Rogan?

  Violent torpedo of truth tour kicks off in Detroit. TV star is booed off stage.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, so then after that, they kept calling and going, can you do this date? He'd do that date. It was like more money than I'd ever made for a one nighter. So I just started getting on the bus and the plane with them and

• 36:20Joe Rogan?

  How many dates you guys do?

• 36:21Speaker 01

  I wound up, I wound up doing eight.

• 36:24Joe Rogan?

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• 37:09Joe Rogan?

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• 37:53Joe Rogan?

  backed by the million dollar protection package with up to $3 million in coverage for eligible losses and expenses. Visit lifelock.com and save up to 30% your first year with the promo code JRE. That's promo code JRE, or go to lifelock.com/JRE for 30% off. Terms apply. And Russell, how many did he do?

• 38:17Speaker 01

  I don't know. I don't know.

• 38:18Joe Rogan?

  So he just had different comics? Who else did it?

• 38:20Speaker 01

  I don't remember anyone else but me. So that's news to me that Russell did.

• 38:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Russell did a few. At least one I know of.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  There might have been some in Canada I didn't do and maybe

• 38:29Joe Rogan?

  Well, Russell's really good off the cuff. You know, Russell's great work in the crowd.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  I think Russell interviewed him. I think Russell like, like you said.

• 38:38Joe Rogan?

  That's how he did it?

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's how he did it. Cause now it occurs to me that he had interviewers on some of them. And I, and he had a radio guy, and I think maybe Russell might have done a Canadian.

• 38:47Joe Rogan?

  That's a smart way to do it. Have someone who's smart and quick, just interview, because the stories are so bananas.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:54Joe Rogan?

  All you need is the stories. Just, and he was so open about stuff, talking about how much crack he would smoke and.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:01Joe Rogan?

  You know, it was just so insane. And everybody was so happy that someone was, instead of hiding from the fact that they fucked their life up, they were like celebrating that they were off the rails. And everyone was like, ah, tiger blood.

• 39:17Joe Rogan?

  I remember even Diego Sanchez, who was fighting in the UFC, was saying he had tiger blood.

• 39:22Joe Rogan?

  That's how fucking, that's how popular it was getting.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was, he was, he was a thing.

• 39:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was a thing. But it was a new thing, right? It was a movie star who'd gone off the rails and was like celebrating it and being open and honest in interviews about prostitutes, cocaine, chaos, everything, all the above.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:43Joe Rogan?

  It was a totally new experience for the general public. Cause before, if someone had an addiction problem, it was like, oh, so sad.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 39:50Joe Rogan?

  He was doing coke and, you know, I was, my life had fallen apart and then I found Jesus. You know, it's like always one of those things.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  He wasn't on an apology tour. He went on a fuck you tour.

• 40:00Joe Rogan?

  A hundred percent. And no one had ever done that before. No one had ever done a fuck you tour before.

• 40:07Joe Rogan?

  I mean, it was a little ill-advised, the first ones, you know, when he went on by himself. Like, that was a terrible idea.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:13Joe Rogan?

  You can't just wing it. And when you're on coke, you think you could be doing anything, you know?

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Or he would take questions, but there's 15,000 people yelling at him.

• 40:21Joe Rogan?

  Right. If you're gonna take questions, it would have to be a person who's a moderator.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:26Joe Rogan?

  Who has a microphone and talks to another person and is there so they can keep it from going off the rails. And in a line of people. You can't just have people yelling out things in the audience.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  One night, one night, somebody wanted his money back and he brought the guy up and gave his money back. And then, of course, like 400 people stood up like, I want my money back.

• 40:45Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  He would get into, he would hear the audience too much.

• 40:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, he had no experience with that kind of stuff.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:53Joe Rogan?

  If you think you could just do live audience and deal with 15,000 people's different personalities, then you don't know what that's like.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:01Joe Rogan?

  Good luck.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  We wound up doing eight shows and I would always roast him. So by the eighth show, I had 20 minutes of Charlie Sheen material. Every city, I'd add jokes. So that's when I was like, why don't we just do this on TV? I mean, we have the roast and then we did the Comedy Central roast.

• 41:16Joe Rogan?

  Nice.

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Patrice and all that. And Mike Tyson was at that one.

• 41:21Joe Rogan?

  It's a really interesting career arc with it. Well, if you know his story, he was on the set of Apocalypse Now with his father when he was 10.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:29Joe Rogan?

  And then 10 years later, he was doing, what was the fucking movie? His fucking big war movie. Jesus Christ.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Platoon.

• 41:39Joe Rogan?

  Platoon. He was doing Platoon when he was 20.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:42Joe Rogan?

  Which is nuts, 10 years later.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:44Joe Rogan?

  I mean, he's doing the next iconic war movie.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:48Joe Rogan?

  And he's a 20-year-old kid and then all of a sudden, he's a fucking superstar.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Right. He was great in that movie.

• 41:55Joe Rogan?

  And he's just off the rails, just like no restrictions. He's rich, he's young, he's handsome. He's just going crazy, doing drugs. But he made it through it all. That's what's nuts.

• 42:06Speaker 01

  I gotta check that doc out.

• 42:08Joe Rogan?

  It's great. He's a great interviewer, too. Like, like having him on the podcast was fucking great. Like, he's a really nice guy. He's very cool and honest about it all.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:18Joe Rogan?

  You know, and he's also like, hey, you know, I can still act. Like, how about, I fucking paid my dues. I've been sober for seven years. Like, give me a shot.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:27Joe Rogan?

  He can still act.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  He's a good actor.

• 42:29Joe Rogan?

  I hope someone does do something like that. Cause I feel like if one big movie came along, like maybe Tarantino could put him in. Cause he's the master at like reviving careers.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:39Joe Rogan?

  Like what he did with Travolta and Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction, like Travolta was dead on the operating table in his career before Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction came along and boom, he's back. Cause they realized like, oh shit, John Travolta, John Travolta can fucking act. And that, that role was perfect for him. Vince, he played this crazy hitman with Samuel Jackson.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  The best.

• 43:02Joe Rogan?

  Fucking, what a movie.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  I watch it all the time.

• 43:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it completely revived his career. Yeah, he's the, like Quentin Tarantino is like the master of seeing things that other people don't see. You know, he's like, that guy's still great.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:16Joe Rogan?

  And I think that's like the case with Charlie, like someone's gotta come along and see and just go, I just need to get him a role. Where he just can really sink his teeth into it and he'll fucking kill it. Especially now at this stage of his life where he knows how important it is, he'll throw himself into it.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:35Joe Rogan?

  It'd be fucking amazing.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  Well, like some people don't act for a long time and then look what Sean Penn just did. He just, and he came back after god knows how long and just did this totally iconic, unrecognizable, strange character.

• 43:48Joe Rogan?

  I didn't see that movie. I've, I've heard all these mixed reviews.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  Whatever. It's interesting to see Sean's take on this soldier.

• 43:57Joe Rogan?

  Look, Sean Penn's out of his fucking mind, but that's the kind of guy that makes a great actor.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Kind of love it.

• 44:02Joe Rogan?

  He's a great actor.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  Ditched the Oscars to go see.

• 44:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, go to Ukraine.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  So cool.

• 44:06Joe Rogan?

  Go hang out. Go hang out with my boy Zelensky and do coke.

• 44:13Joe Rogan?

  Do that pure Russian coke.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  I like how you think that's what they were doing. That's good.

• 44:18Joe Rogan?

  I'm just guessing. I'm just taking a wild guess, but that, that guy, I mean, how about him, like goes and fucking meets the drug lord, what's his name? What's wrong with my brain today, Jamie? Um, what the fuck's his name? The dude he met in Mexico? The guy who got arrested? El Chapo, thank you. Went down and met El Chapo and that's how El Chapo wound up getting arrested.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 44:39Joe Rogan?

  He wanted to meet Sean Penn. Sean Penn's like, alright, I'll go meet, he wrote an article for like Rolling Stone. He like was a journalist.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  Right, I remember.

• 44:46Joe Rogan?

  Went, I mean, like, who, what fucking movie star goes down and meets El Chapo?

• 44:54Joe Rogan?

  By the way, that shirt, Conor McGregor, um, bought a shirt that's like exactly like that shirt and recreated that pose with, I forget who he shook hands with, but it was like this like funny inside joke. That a lot of people didn't catch. It's like, why is he wearing that shirt? And people realize, oh my god, he's wearing the El Chapo shirt.

• 45:17Joe Rogan?

  He bought a similar shirt. He's like literally doing that.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh.

• 45:22Joe Rogan?

  So silly. He dressed as gangster El Chapo. He's literally doing the thing. But he did it on purpose.

• 45:29Joe Rogan?

  Nuts. I mean, it takes insane balls to be a world famous actor and decide, I'm gonna go meet a drug lord in Mexico and write an article for Rolling Stone.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  He's an adventurer.

• 45:44Joe Rogan?

  I guess.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Acting's a part of him, not all of him.

• 45:48Joe Rogan?

  I mean, he must be. He's in fucking Ukraine. Like, what is he doing?

• 45:51Speaker 01

  I remember being at a party, Eddie Vedder's birthday party, and Sean Penn walked in with Stormy Daniels. Like, he has friends from the most diverse places.

• 46:01Joe Rogan?

  That's funny.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Zelensky, Stormy.

• 46:04Joe Rogan?

  Have you seen Kyle Donegan's face swap things with Trump and Stormy Daniels?

• 46:09Speaker 01

  So funny.

• 46:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god, they're so funny.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  So funny.

• 46:12Joe Rogan?

  Kyle Donegan. He's another guy that got revived by Kill Tony, or like, really got the world got to see him. Like, we did, we covered his face swap videos a bunch of times on the podcast and blew them up, but to see him as these characters, like, when he plays RFK Jr., when he plays Elon, like, that is what really, like, kicked off Kyle's career, you know?

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Dude, his RFK is so funny.

• 46:39Joe Rogan?

  His Elon's so good.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  That's when he first started doing the face swap. I was like, this is the best. My text chain's always sharing his stuff.

• 46:46Joe Rogan?

  His Bill Maher. His Bill Maher's amazing. You know, I tried to play-

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Because his jokes are funny about it.

• 46:51Joe Rogan?

  I tried to play the Bill Maher impression with Bill Maher when he was in here. He goes, "If you play it, I'll leave."

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Why does he care?

• 46:58Joe Rogan?

  I don't, because he doesn't hang out with comics enough. He's out there doing his show, hanging out with political people, being all serious. It's like, you kind of forget.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  What do you call it? A contrarian. I was on his podcast and, like, he literally, he just wanted to fight about anything. I go, "The Ramones are great." He's like, "No, they're not." I'm like, "A- a- all right."

• 47:22Joe Rogan?

  How did you say rock and roll high school's not great? Come on, son. The look, the crazy hair.

• 47:27Speaker 01

  All of it. The Ramones is one of the greatest.

• 47:29Joe Rogan?

  The Ramones ruled. They were ruled.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  They wrote a song over two minutes and five seconds.

• 47:34Joe Rogan?

  How could you say they're not great?

• 47:36Speaker 01

  It's nice to go see them in college, man.

• 47:38Joe Rogan?

  You don't have to like it, but you gotta admit, there's a reason why people love them.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 47:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 47:46Joe Rogan?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 47:47Joe Rogan?

  People are so weird when they want to say something sucks. Like, I was having an argument with someone, and there's like Taylor Swift's all dumb music. I go, "No, it's not. It's not. She's got some great songs. 'No Body, No Crime' is a great fucking song."

• 48:00Speaker 01

  By the way, I respect anybody who writes their own music and produces their own music.

• 48:05Joe Rogan?

  Also, it's like, do you think you're smarter than everybody who loves her? Like, she's literally got more fans than anybody alive, and you think they're all wrong? That's kinda crazy. Like, you don't have to like it. You don't have to like it, but there's, like, people have closed minds.

• 48:22Speaker 01

  I met her at an Oscars party last weekend, and she introduced herself. I was talking to Travis.

• 48:26Joe Rogan?

  Is she cool?

• 48:27Speaker 01

  I was talking to Travis for a few minutes, and she said, "Hi, I'm Tayl..." And, you know, I was a little starstruck, because, I don't know, musicians are the last thing for me. Like, I really respect... And she was super cool, man, and she was really cool, actually. And I told her that I went to her era show, and she-

• 48:43Joe Rogan?

  Did you really?

• 48:43Speaker 01

  She said she watches the roasts and-

• 48:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's funny.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  It was pretty cool, actually.

• 48:48Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  I wonder when they make love, if they wear helmets, those two, and what's going on.

• 48:52Joe Rogan?

  Why do you think they wear helmets?

• 48:53Speaker 01

  Just saying. It's gonna be wild.

• 48:56Joe Rogan?

  You think it will?

• 48:57Speaker 01

  Travis and Taylor.

• 48:58Joe Rogan?

  I bet it's all sweet and passionate.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  Maybe. I hope so.

• 49:00Joe Rogan?

  That's what I think.

• 49:02Speaker 01

  You have your fantasies, I have mine.

• 49:07Joe Rogan?

  Shoulder pads, cleats.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:09Joe Rogan?

  Going for it, on AstroTurf.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  He's a nice guy.

• 49:11Joe Rogan?

  Is he?

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Has he been in here?

• 49:13Joe Rogan?

  No, never met him.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  He'd be a good-

• 49:14Joe Rogan?

  Good dude?

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:17Joe Rogan?

  It's interesting when people are public, like a public relationship like that, two super famous people. It's like, that's a lot of pressure. And then you're putting it all out there in the world and like, everybody's judging you like, oof. It's hard enough to keep a relationship together, but keep a relationship together when you have to field everyone's opinions of you? Especially like Taylor Swift, cause how many fucking songs does she have about ex-boyfriends?

• 49:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 49:40Joe Rogan?

  It's like, jeez, if you break up with her, the fucking diss track of the universe is coming your way.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, Kendrick Drake, fuck that, just don't break up with Taylor.

• 49:51Joe Rogan?

  Exactly, yeah. But it's almost like, you're doing it in front of the world and you're inviting all of the shittiest people in the world to have their opinions about you, it's like, ugh. It's a lot of pressure.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  Look at friggin' Timberlake this weekend, that really pissed me off.

• 50:05Joe Rogan?

  What happened?

• 50:05Speaker 01

  They released a two or three year old video of him getting a DUI.

• 50:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, oh, I did see that.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  Why does that need to be out there? Why does that, what is the-

• 50:14Joe Rogan?

  How is that a legal thing? To take like, a video of someone being arrested? Like, why is that? Because he's a public figure? Why, why isn't that private? I don't understand.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  It makes no-

• 50:25Joe Rogan?

  And there was nothing outrageous about it.

• 50:27Speaker 01

  They're just hassling this guy and bringing up old news, it really bugged me.

• 50:31Joe Rogan?

  I mean, there was nothing outrageous about it. I mean, he was very calm and relaxed and, you know, they arrested him for DUI, they, you know, they asked him a few questions. There was nothing about it that was, you know, like, oh, look at Justin Timberlake, he's off the rails, he's acting crazy. It was like he had a few drinks.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:50Joe Rogan?

  Probably shit and drove, drove, got caught, that's it.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Right, it happens to a lot of people.

• 50:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  And whatever, just cause he's famous or whatever, years later-

• 50:58Joe Rogan?

  He wasn't acting like an asshole, he didn't do anything terrible. And, you know, and everybody wants like, ew, look at him, he got caught.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:06Joe Rogan?

  You have so much money and you still got caught.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:09Joe Rogan?

  You know, obviously get a driver dude, you know, you gotta get drunk.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:13Joe Rogan?

  It's not that hard.

• 51:14Speaker 01

  He was touring around the Hamptons, they thought he was fine.

• 51:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's probably it, right? That's where all the rich people drink and drive.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  Well, I don't, I don't get having to torture somebody by releasing the video.

• 51:25Joe Rogan?

  Well, I mean, all he has to do is just not be online for a few days and it'll go away. But it's like, why is it okay to release that? Why is that a public record thing? Unless there's like, some- Even if there's a case, that should be something that gets released in court.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  No, they released it as a public information, but.

• 51:45Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:46Joe Rogan?

  Why?

• 51:46Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 51:47Joe Rogan?

  Why? Cause he sings?

• 51:48Speaker 01

  Cause we live in a cruel fucking world, that's why.

• 51:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. We, we live in a place where people enjoy cruelty. They enjoy, well, it's like, you look at him, you know, he's like super famous, married to, what's her name? Was he married to? Jessica Biel? Beautiful woman.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:04Joe Rogan?

  Right? He's got this perfect life. He's rich, he's famous, he can dance, he can sing, he's tall, he's handsome. He's a star when he was young. Fuck that guy. You know, that's how everybody is. Like, oh, lucky he was drunk.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:15Joe Rogan?

  Bitch, you've been drunk before too. Shut the fuck up.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 52:18Joe Rogan?

  And if you haven't, fuck you. If you've never been drunk, fuck you. Unless like, your dad was an alcoholic and, you know, understanding circumstances. But it's like, why is that something that people are, I saw it, it came across my, uh, my news feed, and I, I looked at it for a few seconds. I was like, there's nothing outrageous about this. Did you see Alan Richmond though?

• 52:39Speaker 01

  No.

• 52:40Joe Rogan?

  The guy who plays Reacher? He beat the fuck out of some guy in front of some kids today? Yeah, or yesterday? It was crazy. He, that guy's a giant dude. You know that show, Reacher?

• 52:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I heard of it.

• 52:53Joe Rogan?

  He's fucking huge and jacked, and he was riding dirt bikes and he got in some altercation with his neighbor and someone filmed it. And, you know, he's all, this hulking guy, and I don't know what the circumstances were. Maybe the guy deserved it, maybe the guy was a piece of shit, maybe the guy came after him first. But all you see in the video is him beating this guy up, and, you know, he's fucking this tank of a man. He's huge. He's like 250 pounds. And he's beating some guy's ass, and then he gets back on his motorcycle and he's doing it in front of kids too, which is kinda crazy.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Violence.

• 53:29Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's also, it's like, why you, I, I don't know what happened, so I don't really wanna comment on the extenuating circumstances.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  According to the TMZ article.

• 53:37Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  He was pushed off the bike by the man.

• 53:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, the guy pushed him off the bike. Okay. Well, then that guy's just trying to get it. You wanna see the video? Let's watch the video. So watch the video, like, so this is after he already beat the guy's ass.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  I don't, I'm not gonna show it.

• 53:57Joe Rogan?

  So he's punching the dude. The other guy's a big guy, too. He might have just had a dicky neighbor. Boy, neighbors and like, especially if you got a homeowners association, there's some fucking shitheads. So this guy, so if the guy pushed him off the bike, I kind of understand.

• 54:18Joe Rogan?

  The guy pushed him off the bike, he's lucky, that's all he did to him.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  This could be eight-year-olds.

• 54:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, those little kids.

• 54:24Speaker 01

  With tricycles.

• 54:25Joe Rogan?

  But those little kids that are there, too, and he's yelling at him and pointing at him.

• 54:30Joe Rogan?

  But if he really did push him off the bike, that guy's a piece of shit. And he's lucky. And he, look, he's an idiot, because like, even after he beat his ass, he's still getting in his face.

• 54:41Joe Rogan?

  And he's still talking shit.

• 54:44Joe Rogan?

  Okay, well, that's a different story. Well, that's good, that's good to know. Yeah, fuck that guy. Don't push someone off a bike. And it's like, because the dirt bikes were loud and they're in the neighborhood. You know, turn your TV up, shut the fuck up.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 54:56Joe Rogan?

  People are just so into everybody's business. I've watched so many videos of homeowners associations yelling at people for doing whatever, parking an old car in your driveway.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  I'm not.

• 55:07Joe Rogan?

  Or just like, people always love to tell people what they can and can't do.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 55:12Joe Rogan?

  I've had homeowners associations before, I don't know if you've ever dealt with that. It is a fucking nightmare. You have to sit down and talk to these dorks who tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your fence.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. How high are your hedges?

• 55:26Joe Rogan?

  Dude, I had a situation once where the, there was all these wrought iron fences in my neighborhood. And I repaired my fence and I replaced it with a different wrought iron fence. And they said, "You can't have wrought iron fences, we have a new rule, it has to be a questering fence." I said, "But there's no consistency." I said, "The entire neighborhood has wrought iron fences." They said, "It doesn't matter." I said, "Well, let's go to court." I go, I don't give a fuck. I go, I'll sue you. I go, I have money. I go, let's go to court. I go, I'm not taking my fucking fence down. And they're like, you're gonna take your fence down. I go, you're not gonna tell me anything.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 55:58Joe Rogan?

  You're not gonna tell me what to do. Just because, I go, it looks great. It's not like it's a blight on the neighborhood. The house is beautiful. Shut the fuck up. And eventually I won.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Did you, did you have to sue?

• 56:09Joe Rogan?

  Well, I threatened to sue and they backed off because they were afraid of suing. They were afraid of lawsuits. Because then you'd have to, they would have to use the homeowners association funds to do this.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 56:17Joe Rogan?

  And it didn't make any sense. Like, I talked to a lawyer about it. I said, does this make any sense? He goes, no, there's a precedent in the neighborhood. Like, every third house had wrought iron fencing. And it wasn't like, it wasn't good looking. Like, it was beautiful, it was new, it was clean. I had a reputable company build it. There's nothing wrong with it. And I was replacing wrought iron fence with more wrought iron fence, it was just better. It was like the fence was broken. It looked shitty. It was like, you know, they get rusty where they connect and I had to get it replaced.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  So what on earth was their problem?

• 56:46Joe Rogan?

  Just cunts, cunts. This is how country they are. I had a neighbor, he lived across the street. He told me that I had to trim my trees and thin them out so that he could see the view in the distance. And I said, what are you talking about? And he said, we have a regulation that says you can't obstruct the view. I go, these trees have been here for fifty years. And then I talked to the guy who sold me the house. He's like, that asshole was trying to do that with me too. Just tell him to fuck himself.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:17Joe Rogan?

  He's just a weird guy. He said, he built an observation deck at the top of his hill in his backyard so he could see like the lights of the city in the distance. And he wanted you to cut your trees down so you're obstructing the view. I go, your house is obstructing my view of this hill. I like to look at hills. Is that what we're gonna do? Take your house down. You take your house down, I'll trim the trees. Fuck you, man.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Tell him to lift his house up.

• 57:40Joe Rogan?

  He's like, oh, so it's gonna be like that. I go, gonna be like what? You want me to cut trees down? So you could see like, you don't have a view, man. You're not on the edge of the hill. You're, you're back set. This is what the view looks like from where you are.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Right.

• 57:53Joe Rogan?

  This house has been here before your house was there.

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:56Joe Rogan?

  Go eat shit.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  You could have asked nice and maybe you would have done something.

• 58:00Joe Rogan?

  I wouldn't have done a fucking thing. It's not, it didn't make any sense. It's just people want to tell people what to do. Like I was reading this article where this homeowners association hired a tow company to go around the neighborhood and tow all the cars that had expired tags. Can you imagine? Like, you know, your tags expired, like, ah, fuck, I'll get to it. I'm busy. I'll get to it next week. You know, you figure, you just running around. And then all of a sudden, they tow your car. Like, fuck you, man. Like, fuck you. It's just people love to tell other people what to do. And homeowners associations, when they get power, they become like the little hall monitors of the neighborhood.

• 58:39Joe Rogan?

  You know, your grass is unruly. You, it's supposed to be two inches, it's four. Like, ugh. Just people. People love to do that. They love to tell people what to do and what not to do. This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands

• 59:19Joe Rogan?

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• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  I have one neighbor who kinda runs the whole block. And she puts everyone on an email chain and she's pretty, she leads with love. But she looks out for everybody.

• 1:00:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, as long as someone, looking out is not bad. It's just like nonsense. Like the guy who wanted me to trim the trees. He wanted me to thin out my, you want me to chop the trees down? He goes, "No, I just want you to thin them out. You can thin them out." I go, "What? What are you talking about? Chop all the leaves off? So that you could see lights in the distance?" It was like the dumbest conversation and he realized while we're in the middle of the conversation, how dumb this is.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:54Joe Rogan?

  And then we never talked again. And I would see him occasionally.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Isn't there a safety issue with trimming your trees, like thinning them out? Fire?

• 1:01:02Joe Rogan?

  Safety? Well, I mean where we were, there was, the real issue is brush. The real issue is the ground. You know, dried brush on the ground. We were evacuated from where I lived three times from fires.

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  Down here?

• 1:01:16Joe Rogan?

  No, this is in California.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:18Joe Rogan?

  And when, uh, I lived in California, the last big fire in 2018, we lost three houses in front of our house. And my neighbor's house caught on fire. But, uh, I had one, my crazy friend Bud would not leave the neighborhood. They evacuated the whole neighborhood. He wouldn't leave. He's like, "I'm staying." He's like, "I'm staying. I'm gonna save my house. I'm gonna save other people's houses." And he fucking did. He saved his house. He saved, he saved my neighbor's house. He checked, my neighbor's house, my roof, the roof is on fire. He got water on it. He called the fire department. There was fire departments that were like trying to put out fires in the neighborhood the moment they started and they, they hosed his roof down. Cause embers will fly and they land.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  No, I had it in LA. I had to evacuate for one day.

• 1:01:59Joe Rogan?

  It's spooky, man. It's, the fires in California are no joke, man. It's, it's really weird to see when it happens. Cause you realize like how nature is completely in control when that happens. You just, this storm of flames that comes over the hills. It's wild. It's, it's wild and it cannot be controlled. And once it starts, it's just a matter of trying to contain it and a certain amount of houses are just gonna go no matter what, depending on when, which way the wind blows.

• 1:02:28Joe Rogan?

  But that's wasn't what the problem was. This guy was just a cunt. Justish.

• 1:02:35Joe Rogan?

  It's a homeowners association thing. It's just like, people that think they, like, they, there was a, we, I'm still a part of this email group that, you know, I'm still on the email of the homeowners association. One of the guys poisoned one of the people in the homeowners association's dogs.

• 1:02:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like, they got in some sort of a dispute about something, and this guy poisoned his fucking dogs.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:02:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  That's so sad.

• 1:03:00Joe Rogan?

  You evil cocksucker.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:03:02Joe Rogan?

  But it's like, that kind of thing, it's these people that just want to control their neighbors, man. It's so weird. Like, one of my neighbors-

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  What's the punishment for that?

• 1:03:11Joe Rogan?

  He should be shot. You fucking piece of shit, that's like killing a family member.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  He should have to eat whatever he gave those dogs.

• 1:03:18Joe Rogan?

  He should go to jail, for sure. I don't know what happened, I don't know if they caught the guy. I don't, I don't think they know exactly who did it. They were, they had no, no video evidence. The person who lived there apparently didn't have good security cameras. But, um, there's just, it's so weird, like, they would get mad at someone for the way they designed their house, and I was like, what do you give a fuck? And he's like, this is like, one of my neighbors built a house, and my other neighbor goes, what do you think about his house? I go, it's a house. Like, I don't care. And he's like, I think it's ugly. And this, this house is gonna lower our property values. I go, what, what are you fucking talking about? Your house looks great. You have a beautiful house, you think people are gonna pay less for your house because this house is boring? Like, this doesn't make any sense.

• 1:04:01Joe Rogan?

  But it's just people, they nitpick and, when they have control, when people have control over other people's- Like, they don't have control over their own life, and their life is just a sloppy mess. They always like to look at other people's lives, and I don't like where he puts his dumpsters.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  He's a hater.

• 1:04:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  We all confront that all the time.

• 1:04:20Joe Rogan?

  It's not just a hater, it's a hater with power because of homeowners associations. And from that moment on, I decided I will never buy a home with a homeowners association. Never. No fucking chance. I don't care how cool they are, because someone not cool could move in, and then it becomes a nightmare. I will never have conversations with those kind of people. Where they tell you what you could do with your lawn. Like, fuck you.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Joe Rogan?

  Fuck you.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  When I was a young comic, I lived with my grandfather in the house that I grew up in and we would never, ever, ever mow the lawn. We just didn't have any money, we didn't care, and everyone in our neighborhood just hated us. They would heckle us and yell at us. So, I guess I've been the eyesore and now I'm on the other side of it.

• 1:05:05Joe Rogan?

  My grandfather lived in the same house that he bought in the 1940s. And when he bought it in the 1940s, this was in, uh, it was an all-Italian neighborhood in Newark. And then, um-

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  That's where I'm from.

• 1:05:16Joe Rogan?

  They started doing, you were born in Newark?

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Newark, New Jersey.

• 1:05:19Joe Rogan?

  No shit?

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Brick City, motherfucker.

• 1:05:21Joe Rogan?

  Let's go.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  That's where I learned karate.

• 1:05:24Joe Rogan?

  Is that really?

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  From detectives in Newark.

• 1:05:26Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, people don't know, you're a black belt in Taekwondo.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:31Joe Rogan?

  That's wild. Do you still do it at all?

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  I mean, I work out, like, you know, not with people, but I, I know my moves and I, I do a few in the new Netflix special. I throw some kicks for fun and tell the story about getting a black belt at, starting at six, getting bullied, my mom dragging me to the House of Empty Hands. That was what it was called. Ronnie Roselli, Newark detective, teaching me karate, almost like a father figure.

• 1:05:57Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:05:58Speaker 01

  Gave me confidence, gave me self-respect, respect for others, taught me that hard work pays off. You know, when you get a black belt at 10 and 1/2, you go, wow, maybe I could be something in my life. If I work as hard as I did at that, maybe I could be good at something else, too.

• 1:06:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, for sure. I mean, it teaches you a lot about, like, the belt system is really good, because you get rewarded for your work and then you see, like, a tangible result. Instead of just like, ooh, I'm getting better, it's like, ooh, there's like a ceremony. Like, I've reached a new level.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:31Joe Rogan?

  Like, now, you know, now I have to be-

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  Some of my most cherished memories are those ceremonies. My dad and mom watching me get my brown belt, blue belt, brown belt, and black belt, and competing in tournaments all over the East Coast.

• 1:06:43Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that awesome?

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  What was his name, Gary? There's this karate guy I used to throw, Gary Alexander, he threw new East Coast tournaments and I used to compete. I still have a room, half a dozen karate trophies in my house.

• 1:06:55Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  It's the best time of my life.

• 1:06:58Joe Rogan?

  I lost most of my stuff, but I do have a bunch of medals that I still have that are in my drawer by my bed. A bunch of medals from the day, but it seems weird when I pick them up. They don't even seem real.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  It's from another life.

• 1:07:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it's another life. Like, I don't even, I, until I like hit a bag or something like that, I almost forget that I could do it, you know? And then I do it, I'm like, ooh.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:07:20Joe Rogan?

  Still got it.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  I like blo, I, I, I like, my kicks, I can front snap kick, I can side kick, I can barely roundhouse at this point, but it's like.

• 1:07:30Joe Rogan?

  Why not?

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  I got a belly, I've, there's no real good reason, other than I'm just, you know.

• 1:07:40Joe Rogan?

  You ever thought about like starting to take classes again?

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  If I, if I, I, I do think about it, I probably could.

• 1:07:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  You know, you're good at kicking, of pushing me to do stuff like that.

• 1:07:50Joe Rogan?

  It'd be good for your health. Just take a class a couple times a week.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  What would I take? If I was a black belt in taekwondo.

• 1:07:55Joe Rogan?

  Taekwondo. Just start taking that again.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I mean, you're doing it for exercise. It's not like you're gonna fight in the UFC.

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:08:02Joe Rogan?

  Just go and start, you know, you'd probably feel it a little bit, and then you remember what you used to be able to do, and so your muscle memory would kick in.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Joe Rogan?

  You'd start probably watching your diet a little bit better.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 1:08:15Joe Rogan?

  Drinking more water, yeah. Taking vitamins, then, next thing you know, four or five months have gone by, and now your waist is thinner, your kicks are snappier, you're going to three classes a week instead of two, you know? You feel better. People go, Jeff, look at you, you're looking great. Like, yeah, I started taking taekwondo again.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not a bad idea. I guess I, I guess I wouldn't wear my black belt. I would feel like I was disrespecting.

• 1:08:42Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  The art.

• 1:08:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  So I'd have to re-earn that.

• 1:08:46Joe Rogan?

  Well, you could always take a totally new style and start out as a white belt. You know, you take, like, Kyokushin, this shirt I'm wearing right now, George St. Pierre. Take something else. Just take something near you, like Krav Maga, like, take anything.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  My manager, Amy, told me she was your publicist when you were on the cover of Black Belt magazine.

• 1:09:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Amy's V.

• 1:09:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, way back in the dizzay.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  I love that. It's so funny.

• 1:09:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, um, I mean, I never stopped working out. I just don't, it's too much of a part of my brain. Like, my mind doesn't operate well if I have day, even if I just take a couple days off, I don't feel right. I feel squirrely. I feel like I'm not balanced, you know?

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  Sometimes I just like to stand in front of a mirror and just throw blocks and just

• 1:09:35Joe Rogan?

  Ah, there you go.

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  I like the way that it feels, just do it.

• 1:09:39Joe Rogan?

  It's meditative.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. You know what I used to love doing, especially when I lived in California? I'd take a couple bong hits and just hit the bag and just like feel it, just

• 1:09:50Joe Rogan?

  just start feeling it and just

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  I remember my

• 1:09:55Joe Rogan?

  Do you? Do you remember all those?

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  I remember at least the first two, I think.

• 1:09:58Joe Rogan?

  God, I used to hate those things. I didn't think, I was young and immature and I didn't understand the value of forms. I used to think that this is pointless. This isn't fighting. I only wanted to practice fighting technique. But now I understand. It's, it teaches you body control. Like, you, you know, you throw a sidekick and you snap it up in the air and you hold it and you turn and block and all that stuff. Like, it teaches you body, it's like a, almost like a form of yoga, you know, and it teaches you to control your body. I do a lot of kicks in the air now and I do them slowly, like I, and it, it's really good for your control and your balance. And I didn't think that when I was younger. I thought that was like a waste of time. I thought like really what's important is like hitting things really hard

• 1:10:44Joe Rogan?

  and being fast. And now I realize like, no, no, no, no, there's like a lot of value even to help your techniques and to be able to hit things hard, like do it slowly and just have full control of your balance and your movement. So I like to do that. I like to do like slow kicks.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  I like, that's why I like yoga.

• 1:11:02Joe Rogan?

  Yoga's amazing.

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. I feel like that's akin to martial arts.

• 1:11:07Joe Rogan?

  It makes me high. Yoga is like the best.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  You take your shoes off.

• 1:11:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:11:11Speaker 01

  Your phone is gone.

• 1:11:12Joe Rogan?

  You're so relaxed when it's over.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  It's just about your body and control.

• 1:11:15Joe Rogan?

  You're so calm.

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Yoga's so good for your brain.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  Usually on Mondays when I'm here, I would go with Tony to his high yoga.

• 1:11:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, oh, Tony loves it. Yeah, he raves about his yoga.

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  He told me he's been off it a little bit.

• 1:11:27Joe Rogan?

  He has. Well, you know, the thing about Tony is like, he's so focused on Kill Tony right now because the momentum is so extraordinary and he realizes that. Like, Tony's really aware that he's in a very rare moment in his life.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:40Joe Rogan?

  Where things are going so well, so he's got his foot on the gas.

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:11:44Joe Rogan?

  And he's got his new special that he filmed, that he's editing right now, get ready to release.

• 1:11:49Speaker 01

  So proud of him, man. He's earned it. I always told him he would take a different path than a normal entertainer. He always had this kind of odd trajectory.

• 1:11:59Joe Rogan?

  Well, he's an odd guy.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:00Joe Rogan?

  You know, Tony, you'd swear he's gay, and he's not.

• 1:12:07Joe Rogan?

  But he's an awesome person. Like, people who don't know Tony, they see like, the outside of him.

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:12:12Joe Rogan?

  Like, as a friend, he's a great friend. He's a great guy.

• 1:12:16Speaker 01

  We're always checking on each other and...

• 1:12:18Joe Rogan?

  He's the best.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  He was so happy. He was the first one to text me when I knew I was coming down here. When I was workshopping my, my show, he came, saw it in Austin. Came to the opening night on Broadway in New York. He's like, there for his friends.

• 1:12:32Joe Rogan?

  A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Well, that's the beautiful thing about Kill Tony is it's all about supporting people and giving people careers.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:39Joe Rogan?

  I mean, he's given so many people careers and pumped so many people up. I mean, he's, it's really, that thing, that Kill Tony thing is also, it is, in my opinion, well, first of all, for our club, it's the cornerstone of the club. It's one of the most important things about the mothership because having Kill Tony at the mothership every Monday night lets all these people that are upcoming comedians see what it's like to have one minute that you, you've polished and worked on really well and it kills, and then you pop, and then all of a sudden, you know, it's on YouTube, it's got 11 million views, and then, you know, maybe it's on Netflix and it's got millions and millions of people watching all around the world,

• 1:13:21Joe Rogan?

  and then all of a sudden, people come to see you in the clubs, and you're selling out weekends, and you're writing, and you, and then you get a golden ticket, and you gotta do a new minute every week, you're a regular. I mean, it's really...

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  A new minute. My show comes on tonight, it's 90 minutes. It might be the longest stand-up special in Netflix history.

• 1:13:39Joe Rogan?

  Well, your show is like a one-man show.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  90 minutes.

• 1:13:42Joe Rogan?

  It's a little different, right? I haven't seen it, but I've heard great things.

• 1:13:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're gonna love it.

• 1:13:46Joe Rogan?

  I'm sure I will.

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  You're really, I think you're gonna like it, cuz it's about us. It's about comedy and the community of what we do.

• 1:13:55Joe Rogan?

  It's an embattled community, and it has its detractors, and it has a bunch of haters, and a bunch of shitheads in it. But, for the most part, like as far as creative communities, it's one of the most supportive communities, ever. I mean, it's an amazing, the community of comics, like real comics, that are all, that we meet up in clubs, it's always hug. Like, people think we're all angry, bitter, like...

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  No, it's the opposite.

• 1:14:21Joe Rogan?

  The tears of a clown. It's not, there's a few people like that, and they always make me sad. But the reality is, like, most of us are super happy to see each other. It's always hugs, and laughing, and watching each other's sets, and giving each other tags, and telling each other, like, "Oh, that fucking new bit is amazing." It's like, it's so supportive.

• 1:14:42Speaker 04

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• 1:15:09Speaker 05

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• 1:15:26Speaker 05

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• 1:15:37Speaker 01

  I was at your club last night and it was like, comics come in and say hi. I brought some extra chicken wings. Jamar was there. It was just fun. Moses was doing roast battle. I sat in on that. Then I went outside, said hi to some people and went upstairs and did a spot. It's like, I don't have a wife and kids to go home to. This is what I do. This is the people that I love. The comedians are my kids, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, you know?

• 1:16:06Joe Rogan?

  Well, I do have a wife and kids, but it's still my other family. It's like the family of comedians. It's like a band of brothers and sisters. It's like a weird kind of friendship that, you know, it's like only they know what you do. You know, only they understand that it's like 10 years before you're even any good. 10 years of being like, if you're out there and you're headlining a club and you're on the road, like you fucking put in that work. There's no shortcuts. It's impossible to have a shortcut. You just gotta grind.

• 1:16:39Speaker 01

  I learn long and I learn though, over time. I don't want a shortcut. I like the process. That's what I live for. You know, we have a roast coming up, May 10th. It's not about May 10th. It's about, I can't wait to hang in the writers room again. I can't wait to figure out who's coming. I can't wait to figure out the seating. Who are we gonna make fun of? Who's gonna, who's gonna be in the front? You know, what am I gonna wear? It's the, it is the grind that's exciting.

• 1:17:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's no finish line. The finish line doesn't exist. You'll have little finish lines, like you do a special, like your special that's coming out. That's a finish line, but it's only a stop. You're stopping to get water.

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  But where is the finish line, Joe? Like, okay, so I did the Broadway show, then I shot it, then I edited. But now I'm here still talking about it. And then in a month from now, two months from now, someone will stop me at the airport and go, hey, I was, my kid was sick. I was in the hospital. I watched your thing and it made me laugh for five minutes when life was, so the, all of it is, there's no finish line.

• 1:17:46Joe Rogan?

  No, there's no finish line.

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  If you're sitting around going... I hope I win the Oscar. If you're, Tom Cruise is jealous of George Clooney and George Clooney is jealous of Brad Pitt. There's no, there's no finish line.

• 1:17:57Joe Rogan?

  There's no finish line.

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  I have a big neon, like you have the neon. I have a big neon in my house that just says, enjoy the process.

• 1:18:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:05Speaker 01

  That's where I'm at.

• 1:18:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Trust it. Trust the process and enjoy it. And that's the weird thing about when you release a special and then you have nothing. And then, you know, you have to like scour your brain for what you want to talk about. I took like a whole month off of stand up after my last special. I didn't do any stand up, maybe more than a month. And I just thought, I said, let me just think, just like no pressure. Let me just think, like, what, what is interesting to me? What do I want to talk about? Instead of just rushing to try to put together a new hour?

• 1:18:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:18:37Joe Rogan?

  Let me just think for a while. You know, and I'd come to the club every now and then and watch, watch guys do sets, but I didn't do any sets for a while.

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  I'm in that zone right now.

• 1:18:46Joe Rogan?

  It's nice.

• 1:18:47Speaker 01

  You know what?

• 1:18:47Joe Rogan?

  Scary.

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  When I first finished the special, it was years of material building to it with a through line and a story. And then when it was over, I was a little bit lost. Like I'd go to the Comedy Cellar, I was still in New York. I couldn't let go of some of the, and I was like, I, I need to stop doing this material. And then I felt like I had no purpose. Like I, I didn't want to talk about anything. And I said it to my buddy Kai and he goes, dude, relax. You're between albums. Like he put it in musical sense for me. He's like, you're like a musician between albums. Absorb some new things. See some movies. Go on a trip. Have some new life experiences.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  And then I was like, yeah, that's probably a break. After doing the same thing, the same kind of hunk for years. Your, your, your body, your brain, like think about something else. Absorb new things. Download new influences.

• 1:19:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  And that's kind of where I'm at. And then of course Kevin was like, I'll get roasted. And I was like, all right, I, I can put stand up away for another two months and just write that.

• 1:19:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I go back into roast mode, which gives me, I'm like a dog who needs a job.

• 1:19:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of the same thing as your dog. It really is. It's like you need a task. If you're just doing nothing, like the idea of like, oh, one day I'm going to retire and just relax, like bitch, you'll go crazy.

• 1:20:10Speaker 01

  Did you see we're roasting Kevin Hart?

• 1:20:12Joe Rogan?

  That's what I heard. Are you supposed to say that, though?

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:15Joe Rogan?

  Are you supposed to talk about it?

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  I am.

• 1:20:17Joe Rogan?

  Okay. You're allowed to?

• 1:20:18Speaker 01

  Uh, my show.

• 1:20:20Joe Rogan?

  Okay, cuz I was told not to tell people about it.

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  We're doing it, May 10th, baby. Mother's Day, live on Netflix.

• 1:20:27Joe Rogan?

  So you're officially announcing it?

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:29Joe Rogan?

  Okay, I could talk about it now.

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  At the Forum.

• 1:20:31Joe Rogan?

  Cuz I was told about it, but I was told I was not supposed to tell anybody.

• 1:20:33Speaker 01

  I don't know who told you that.

• 1:20:34Joe Rogan?

  Some people.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  No, dude.

• 1:20:36Joe Rogan?

  They said, "Keep it under wraps."

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  You like it?

• 1:20:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it's already a thing.

• 1:20:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, they announced it this weekend, I think.

• 1:20:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh, hosted by Shane Gillis. Let's fucking go. Nice. That's awesome. That's awesome.

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  Sweet, right?

• 1:20:49Joe Rogan?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  Kevin is so pumped up.

• 1:20:50Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome. That's gonna be fun.

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  Dude, he's out, you know, he's...

• 1:20:54Joe Rogan?

  These Netflix fucking, the Tom Brady one was insane. That was so good. That was so good. That kinda like juiced comedy back up again cuz it was so wild. It was like the jokes were so wild. It was so raw.

• 1:21:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:10Joe Rogan?

  And we had gone through this like weird period of like people getting canceled for jokes.

• 1:21:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:21:15Joe Rogan?

  You know, it's like all of a sudden like, nope, that's out, that's gone.

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  No, no, no. I said to him, I would, I've been big game hunting Tom Brady for years. It took a couple of years. He retired, unretired, but I kept him on the line. And finally, we were shooting promos. And I was like, "Why are you doing this?" Cuz I could tell, you know, it's starting to heat up. And some heavy hitters were signing on. I go, "Why are you doing this?" I'm like, it wasn't for the money. And he goes, "I wanna bring comedy back. I'm sick of the woke bullshit and canceling. I wanna make comedy like fun again." He understood that. And I caught him, I caught him on a Super Bowl Sunday. He was playing the Super Bowl. And I saw him looking at some jokes on Instagram that I posted. And like, and I'm like, this is where he goes to relax. He goes to the roast.

• 1:22:04Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:22:05Speaker 01

  And I'd heard that. So as I was like, he won the game and I was like, "I think it's time." And then we reeled him in and he did it. And I will admit, that roast was harsher than I expect, even I expected.

• 1:22:20Joe Rogan?

  Vicious.

• 1:22:21Speaker 01

  I mean, it was, it was a bloodbath. And I saw Tom the other day and I said, "It's time to take your win." You know, he was like, it was so harsh, it was tough on my family. I go, I get all that. But you wanted to do it to bring comedy back. You did that. 1.6 billion viewing minutes, Emmy nominated against the Oscars and the Grant, like, the Super Bowl halftime.

• 1:22:45Joe Rogan?

  It was the most watched thing in the history of Netflix.

• 1:22:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:22:49Joe Rogan?

  You know how nuts that is? Think about how many things are on Netflix. That roast was the most watched thing in the history of Netflix. And it was because it was so funny. It wasn't just because it was Tom Brady, which of course made a lot. But it wasn't just because all these great comics were on it, which of course meant a lot.

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:07Joe Rogan?

  It was, it was so good. It was so good that people were telling people about it.

• 1:23:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. And, and it's like a great Super Bowl. It's gonna be around forever.

• 1:23:16Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 1:23:17Speaker 01

  Netflix leaves it up.

• 1:23:18Joe Rogan?

  Like the Charlie Sheen roast, we were talking about Patrice. Yeah, they're always gonna be there. It's gonna be there forever.

• 1:23:22Speaker 01

  I do think, all respect to Tom, I do think this one with Kevin and Shane Gillis is gonna top it.

• 1:23:28Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:23:29Speaker 01

  I think it's, it's not quite a sequel, but it's its own thing. It's gonna be the greatest roast of all time.

• 1:23:36Joe Rogan?

  Netflix is the place for roast now, because as great as Comedy Central was, you had restrictions on language and content.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:43Joe Rogan?

  And.

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  And it was editing.

• 1:23:44Joe Rogan?

  Yes, edited.

• 1:23:45Speaker 01

  This is a.

• 1:23:46Joe Rogan?

  And commercials.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:48Joe Rogan?

  This is buck wild.

• 1:23:50Speaker 01

  Buck wild.

• 1:23:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Netflix is fucking amazing. I mean, what an insane platform that you have. You could never get bored. If you're bored in this life, like you're bored, you don't have anything to watch, like, are you crazy?

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:04Joe Rogan?

  There's so much shit to watch.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  Only boring people are bored, right? That's what they say.

• 1:24:08Joe Rogan?

  Or people are uninformed. But I mean, even in this day and age, you could just, you know, do an internet search. Like, what's the best roasts on Netflix?

• 1:24:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:24:17Joe Rogan?

  What are the best dramas on Netflix? What are the best shows on Netflix?

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:24:20Joe Rogan?

  There's always something. That's exciting, though.

• 1:24:23Speaker 01

  It's gonna be a big one, yeah. Mother's Day, motherfuckers' day.

• 1:24:27Joe Rogan?

  Kevin Hart, there's a guy like, I don't understand how he has the time to do all the things he does. I do not understand it. I'm a pretty busy person, and I look at people like him and I feel lazy. I'm like, how are you doing this?

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:24:39Joe Rogan?

  How do you have time to sleep?

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  Right. And I saw him out with his wife, having drinks two nights last weekend.

• 1:24:45Joe Rogan?

  He must sleep like four hours a night.

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  I don't know how he does it. Some people are just built different.

• 1:24:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I mean, well, it's growing up poor and realizing that like, once this is happening for you, like, keep your foot on the gas. And that guy keeps his foot on the gas better than anybody.

• 1:25:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:01Joe Rogan?

  And he's ambitious as fuck. He's always got like some tequila brand and releasing this. He had a

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 1:25:07Joe Rogan?

  A vegan restaurant chain for a while. I would have talked him out of that. Fuck are you doing with that?

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  Uh, well, you know, he's, he likes to branch out and be a businessman.

• 1:25:16Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm, yeah. I just, I don't understand the time. And then, in the meantime, he's doing arenas at the same time. It's like, okay.

• 1:25:23Speaker 01

  And killing.

• 1:25:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't get it.

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  The roast, the roast for him is back to his roots.

• 1:25:29Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:25:30Speaker 01

  That's what I love about it. It's like the Philly thing, talking shit.

• 1:25:34Joe Rogan?

  Yep.

• 1:25:34Speaker 01

  Shane's from Philly, so there'll be a big Philly angle.

• 1:25:38Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  You know, and we got some of his oldest buddies coming on. It's gonna be pretty massive, I think.

• 1:25:44Joe Rogan?

  That's nice.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, you've carved down an interesting path for yourself as the roast master.

• 1:25:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:49Joe Rogan?

  You know, like, you're, you're, it's like an old school skill, you know, that used to be a big part of comedy, you know, the Friars Club roasts.

• 1:25:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. I miss those Friars Club roasts, when they were just like, you know, sometimes they weren't even on TV yet when I was doing them. I just bought a Leroy Neiman painting from, they had an auction of old Friars memorabilia, and Leroy Neiman painted Henny Youngman. Surrounded, and he painted his punchlines like around, his one-liners around Henny holding his violin. And he used to sit in the dining room at the New York Friars, and Henny in his wheelchair would sit under that painting. And for some reason, it's all up for auction, so of course I had to grab it.

• 1:26:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's awesome. That's so cool that you got it.

• 1:26:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:33Joe Rogan?

  That's amazing.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  I miss some of those guys. I think about Buddy Hackett. I almost wore a Buddy Hackett T-shirt today. I loved Buddy Hackett.

• 1:26:41Joe Rogan?

  He has a Buddy Hackett T-shirt?

• 1:26:42Speaker 01

  Somebody made me a Buddy Hackett T-shirt and gave it to me.

• 1:26:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, those guys are from a different time, you know? Different time, no television, no nothing, doing the cat skills.

• 1:26:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:26:53Joe Rogan?

  Different world.

• 1:26:54Speaker 01

  They would do each other's acts. They would do whatever got a laugh.

• 1:26:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they're assassins on the road. It was a totally different life.

• 1:27:04Joe Rogan?

  And then if you had a name, like you had a name back then, like if you were a famous comedian back then, dude, those are the rarest of rare things.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:12Joe Rogan?

  How many of them were there? There was like ten.

• 1:27:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:27:14Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 1:27:15Speaker 01

  Shecky, Buddy, Nipsey.

• 1:27:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a few of those guys. A few of those guys.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  There are not many left.

• 1:27:21Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:27:21Speaker 01

  They're really all gone now.

• 1:27:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's what happens.

• 1:27:25Speaker 01

  That's gonna happen to us, buddy.

• 1:27:26Joe Rogan?

  That's what I hear.

• 1:27:28Speaker 01

  Or better than the alternative.

• 1:27:30Joe Rogan?

  What, stay around forever?

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  No, you either, you either keep going or you, you saw the picture, Gilbert, Norm, Bob, you know, the alternative is death. So when I go, I don't wanna get old, I go, yeah, you wanna get old.

• 1:27:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, um, as long as you keep your body moving, you just don't wanna be an old, like, completely incapacitated person. Like that's, especially if it's avoidable.

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:27:57Joe Rogan?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:27:57Speaker 01

  I went through it all year. I had, I went in for a root, af, three weeks after that Brady roast, I had a, went in for a colonoscopy. My buddy Jordan had been texting our text chain, everyone's gotta get, he's like kind of a hypochondriac, so I kind of ignored it. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was too busy, I was on the road, and then finally I went in for a routine colonoscopy. And I waited too long, and they found a tumor in my colon. And immediately that, an hour, two hours later, was on the phone with a surgeon. And stage three.

• 1:28:34Speaker 01

  And found a specialist, took care of it right away, but never felt doomed.

• 1:28:40Joe Rogan?

  Have you changed your diet after that?

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  I'm eating a lot less red meat.

• 1:28:44Joe Rogan?

  Red meat?

• 1:28:45Speaker 01

  Now, when I eat red meat, it's like gonna be the best red meat.

• 1:28:49Joe Rogan?

  Why is it red meat?

• 1:28:50Speaker 01

  I don't know. I mean, for me, growing up in a catering hall in New Jersey around pastrami and prime rib. He said that that was a big cause of colon cancer.

• 1:29:01Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:29:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, and processed foods.

• 1:29:03Joe Rogan?

  Processed foods makes sense. That makes sense.

• 1:29:06Speaker 01

  So I'm eating a lot less of that.

• 1:29:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:08Speaker 01

  I moved over to turkey and chicken and a little bit of fish.

• 1:29:11Joe Rogan?

  And cut out the processed stuff?

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  As much as I can.

• 1:29:14Joe Rogan?

  What about alcohol? Did you cut that out?

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  I've never been a big drinker.

• 1:29:17Joe Rogan?

  That's good. Yeah.

• 1:29:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a little wake up call. I mean, you have a health scare, a little wake up call. Time to take care of yourself.

• 1:29:24Speaker 01

  I just had the, you know, I talk about this on my show, like I had my chemo ported on Broadway on the show. And I was like, still kind of in it. It's like I was having a human experience on stage. And just two weeks ago, I had the port, the chemo port taken out. My sister came down to celebrate and hang with me. And, and it's like a war prize. Like I hold the port where they put the chemo. Like I have it on my desk now. And, and, and let's just say they take, they put a lot more in people than they take out. So I feel very lucky, like survived it all.

• 1:30:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I'm glad you're alive.

• 1:30:03Speaker 01

  People die with those fucking ports in them.

• 1:30:06Joe Rogan?

  They do. Well, they die with cancer, that's for damn sure. Colon cancer is a very common one.

• 1:30:11Speaker 01

  This guy, James Vanderbeek, younger than me.

• 1:30:13Joe Rogan?

  I know. I met him. He was a nice fucking guy, man. He came to the club, hung out with his wife in the green room. Sweetest guy. Just such a nice guy. And apparently he was struggling back then. I didn't know. He looked real thin, you know?

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  So when you asked me, right when you walked in, how are you doing? I was like, great. You know, like it was a, it was a pointed question and you asked politely and innocently and I was like.

• 1:30:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I didn't know that you had gone through that.

• 1:30:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:42Joe Rogan?

  God, I haven't seen you in when? When was the last time I saw you?

• 1:30:45Speaker 01

  I saw you in DC. I saw you in New York for Kill Tony.

• 1:30:50Joe Rogan?

  Briefly.

• 1:30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:51Joe Rogan?

  We didn't like sit down and shoot the shit.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  We had a drink, was it your birthday in New York when you were doing Kill Tony? Or was it here?

• 1:30:59Joe Rogan?

  New York, it was August, yeah.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that, but then I saw you in DC when you were with your family, it was quick. But, uh, I see, I feel like I see you because I pop into the mothership, but I always pop in on the weekends when you're off.

• 1:31:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:16Speaker 01

  But, uh, yeah, it was a crazy thing, man. I've never been sick a day in my life. I've always had that like, my grandfather used to call it world beater energy. Like, I always felt invincible, never, never thought for a second it would be me.

• 1:31:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:30Speaker 01

  And then I did wait too long to get a colonoscopy, and they're not a big deal. Like, guys are afraid of colonoscopies.

• 1:31:36Joe Rogan?

  Cause something's up your butt.

• 1:31:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, but in the end, it really isn't up your butt. It's a doctor checking you out.

• 1:31:44Joe Rogan?

  That's what they tell you when you wake up. They go up your butt, bro.

• 1:31:48Speaker 01

  And get the endoscopies, especially for smokers and stuff like that. And like, for what, for what is essentially like a one day inconvenience. Okay, they can really save your life. It did save my life.

• 1:32:03Joe Rogan?

  Well, I'm glad you cleaned up your diet.

• 1:32:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:05Joe Rogan?

  You know, you gotta do that, cause I know that you are, I mean, I've run into you at Katz's Deli before too.

• 1:32:10Speaker 01

  That's another thing I needed to talk to you about.

• 1:32:12Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 1:32:13Speaker 01

  I forgot all about this till you brought it up. Do you remember running into me at Katz's Deli with Tony and? I guess you must have been in town doing stand up or something, a few, this like already 10 years ago.

• 1:32:26Joe Rogan?

  I don't think it was that long ago, was it?

• 1:32:27Speaker 01

  I, I, it was, and I'll tell you how I know.

• 1:32:31Speaker 01

  One of the things when I, when I got booked on this appearance, I said, I make, make a mental note, I owe Rogan an apology. And it's not a big deal, but it always kinda bugged me.

• 1:32:47Speaker 01

  I came in to say hi. And I was self-conscious because I had something wrong with me and I didn't know what it was.

• 1:32:57Speaker 01

  And you said, what's with your eyebrows? And I like, I like, I like kinda shoulder shrugged and you were like, is it for a role? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 1:33:09Speaker 01

  Do you have any recollection?

• 1:33:10Joe Rogan?

  I do, I do.

• 1:33:11Speaker 01

  And I lied.

• 1:33:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:12Speaker 01

  Because I was embarrassed.

• 1:33:13Joe Rogan?

  You said I shaved them off for a role. I was like, oh, that's crazy. What are you playing?

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  I was embarrassed because I had alopecia. Didn't really understand what was happening to me yet. And I used to saw the, I had a big fro.

• 1:33:27Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  Big bushy eyebrows, like, I was like the Propecia Man of the Year, you know?

• 1:33:36Speaker 01

  And I don't know what causes it. It's an autoimmune thing. It's not life-threatening. But suddenly I looked completely different. My fame, like if anyone ever recognized me walking in a restaurant, you know, get a good table, skip the lot, is all gone. Just suddenly in, in, within a few weeks. I was, I remember being at Zany's in Nashville and just scratching my head and like, big clump of hair came out. Then I was on a plane and I was like, there's no hair on my leg. What the fuck's going on? And then within a month, me and Adam Egot and Tony went to the barber shop on Melrose.

• 1:34:18Speaker 01

  They came with me because I was kinda like shaken up, like what is happening to me? Am I dying?

• 1:34:23Joe Rogan?

  So it happened really quickly?

• 1:34:24Speaker 01

  It happens all within a few weeks.

• 1:34:27Joe Rogan?

  All your hair fell off within a few weeks?

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  And then, when I thought it was done, eyebrows started going. And I, and then eyelashes, so sweat, salt, was like, I was like, what the fuck? And I, I didn't even recognize myself. And...

• 1:34:44Joe Rogan?

  Is there anything they do that reverses that?

• 1:34:47Speaker 01

  There's some medications. Doctor Drew actually hooked me up with a research doctor, Brett King. He was at Yale at the time in Connecticut. And I did have some restoration of eyelashes and eyebrows. But the, the side effects were a little bit scary and it, and they lower your immune system a little bit.

• 1:35:13Speaker 01

  So I did that for years. And then when I got cancer, I was like, fuck those meds. I can't do it anymore.

• 1:35:20Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:35:21Speaker 01

  And the chemo eyebrows, eyelashes gone again.

• 1:35:24Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 1:35:25Speaker 01

  And, and now I'm literally like hairless. Like I have no hair and, you know, you learn to live with it. You know, you gotta channel your inner rock star.

• 1:35:36Joe Rogan?

  Listen, there's worse things that can happen.

• 1:35:37Speaker 01

  Believe me, I get it.

• 1:35:39Joe Rogan?

  You'd know.

• 1:35:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:35:40Joe Rogan?

  More than anybody.

• 1:35:42Speaker 01

  But I, it always dinged me because you and I have been friends a long time. We have an honest friendship, comics, brutal honesty, truth. And I looked you right in the eyes and I was like, yeah, I went with it.

• 1:35:57Joe Rogan?

  I.

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• 1:36:54Joe Rogan?

  Found out slightly after that that you had alopecia from other people because someone else brought it up and someone said, oh, he's got alopecia. I went, oh, I asked him at Cat's Deli and he said he shaved his eyebrows off for a roll. But I just felt like you're probably embarrassed and I totally understood. Like it's weird.

• 1:37:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:37:12Joe Rogan?

  They, they say a lot of these autoimmune issues come from inflammation and a lot of inflammation comes from what you eat.

• 1:37:18Speaker 01

  Right. The doctor would tell me that wasn't true, so.

• 1:37:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, doctors aren't always right. And one of the things they're not always right about is nutrition and the impact that nutrition has, particularly on autoimmune issues. Very few doctors have any knowledge or any education in nutrition and the impact it has. I mean, your entire body is built out of and reconstructed from what you consume.

• 1:37:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:37:42Joe Rogan?

  It's the only thing that your body has.

• 1:37:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:37:44Joe Rogan?

  In order, your body makes new cells, your body replenishes cells, recreates all the tissue. There's only one way to do it. It's gotta be what you eat.

• 1:37:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:53Joe Rogan?

  It's the only thing. What you drink, what you eat. That's it. And if you're eating a bunch of processed stuff that has a bunch of bullshit and preservatives and.

• 1:38:01Speaker 01

  What causes inflammation?

• 1:38:02Joe Rogan?

  You're dealing with inflammation. Well, a lot of things. Allergies cause inflammation, processed food cause inflammation, excess sugar causes inflammation, alcohol. There's a lot of things that people eat that cause inflammation. But it's really genuinely a thing of a balance of, you know, your diet and, you know, what your body has to work with. You know, if your body doesn't have any nutrients to work with, no vitamins, no minerals, you know, you're dehydrated, you're drinking too much sugar, you know, things start malfunctioning and misfiring and then, you know, there's, there's a bunch of different consequences for having a high inflammation diet. And for a lot of people, it's sugar.

• 1:38:45Joe Rogan?

  Sugar is one of the leading causes of inflammation, especially in the standard American diet, because the standard American diet is just riddled with excess sugar, corn syrup and bullshit and preservatives and your body just after a while just gets tired of processing that stuff. And then you start encountering a bunch of issues. And I know there's a lot of autoimmune issues that people have had success in reversing by completely cutting out everything other than whole foods. Just eating chicken and meat and vegetables and drinking water and that's it. Cutting out all the bullshit.

• 1:39:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I gotta do better.

• 1:39:25Joe Rogan?

  Have you ever gotten blood work done?

• 1:39:27Speaker 01

  Well, now I have to do it all the time.

• 1:39:29Joe Rogan?

  Do you? Do you ever get blood work done from like a comprehensive laboratory that's looking at your nutrient levels and all those different things?

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  I don't know if I've done that.

• 1:39:36Joe Rogan?

  Well, you should do that. There's a place in town, Waste Well. I'll send you there.

• 1:39:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they'll, they're really good. I mean, they do. They take a shitload of blood and they do these really comprehensive blood panels. They can scan for cancer too, by the way.

• 1:39:48Speaker 01

  Well, that I've done.

• 1:39:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's a big one, you know, because they can check for any kind of cancer in your body.

• 1:39:53Speaker 01

  Well, now that I'm through all that, I'm much more open to taking care of myself and staying on it and.

• 1:40:00Joe Rogan?

  The first time I did that one, the first time I did that one, I was like, cancer's a scary one. And I was like, boy, I hope I don't have cancer and don't know about it. When it came out zero, I was like, but I do so much to take care of myself. I do a sauna every day, cold plunge, I take a ton of vitamins. I'm always exercising. I eat probably like ninety-nine percent clean. Every now and then I'll fuck off and, or if my daughter makes cookies, I'll eat cookies. But for the most part, I give my body.

• 1:40:28Speaker 01

  What kind of cookies?

• 1:40:29Joe Rogan?

  She, she's really good. She makes a bunch of different stuff. Today was white chocolate chip cookies. They're really good. I had one, I had one this morning. But for the most part, it's, your body can only use what you put in it. There's no other building blocks. It doesn't have anything else.

• 1:40:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:40:45Joe Rogan?

  There's nothing else it can draw from. And that's one of the problems is when you don't give your body what it needs, it starts taking things out of the tissue. It starts taking things, that's where osteoporosis comes from. Your body starts literally taking calcium out of your bones. You know, you gotta give your body the building blocks. Without that, it doesn't know what the fuck to do. And slowly but surely, you start to deteriorate. You know, and there's a giant difference between giving your body a nutrient-dense, healthy diet and not. You know, and taking care of yourself and exercising and not, and, and drinking much water and electrolytes and not. There's a giant difference. And it's all, your body just cannot recreate itself correctly.

• 1:41:25Joe Rogan?

  It cannot build itself and repair itself correctly unless it gets the, the, the proper nutrients. That's where a lot of people's issues come from. And doctors don't tell you that. Like, um, I had a family member that got real sick and the doctor said they got cancer. And the doctor said, it doesn't matter what you eat. I go, well, fuck that doctor.

• 1:41:44Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:41:44Joe Rogan?

  That's not true.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  I don't believe that.

• 1:41:46Joe Rogan?

  Doctors telling you could eat cake and just take chemo and you'll be fine? That's horseshit. That's not true. That's not true because they should, one of the things they should tell you immediately is get on a ketogenic diet. Cause one of the things that uh has been proven is that cancer uses glucose to survive. And you know, autophagy, which comes from fasting is one of the best ways that people can get rid of errant cells and cells that are, you know, misfiring. Make your body burn off fat, use ketones for energy. And, and just get rid of all the dead cells. Get rid of all the shit that your body doesn't need. And even if you want to do that, do intermittent fasting. You know, where you only have a period of time where you eat.

• 1:42:29Joe Rogan?

  Like give yourself like a 16 hour window with no food and then start eating after that.

• 1:42:34Speaker 01

  But how do you keep your, how do you not be cranky and lose your mind doing that?

• 1:42:40Joe Rogan?

  Because your body's relying on carbohydrates, right? So when your body is not relying on carbohydrates, your body's burning off ketones, you don't have that problem. You don't have that crashing problem. The crashing problem is from a high carbohydrate diet. And I've had that before. Like I'm Italian, so uh it's carbohydrates was my, my thing. You know, it was all about pasta, pizza and I love that stuff. I just love it. And that's my cheat food. If I'm gonna cheat, I'm gonna eat Italian subs and that kind of shit. But when your body gets accustomed to that, first of all, you get a big insulin spike. You crash, you get exhausted. The way to avoid that is to get your body to start using fats. And the way your body uses fats is that's what you give it for fuel and your body adjusts.

• 1:43:24Joe Rogan?

  And then your body does something called gluconeogenesis where it starts using meat and protein and turning that into glucose. And when you go through this process, it's a shaky process at first, like you get what they call the keto flu originally, initially rather, where you get tired all the time. You're like, oh, this is exhausting and you work out suffer. It's like you have no energy, but eventually your body adapts and your body just gets accustomed to using fats. And when your body gets fat adapted, first of all, your brain works better. You get an extra gear in terms of like your ability to think and communicate and it just feels like you have more energy. You don't need naps and you don't crash after you eat. Hmm. That's why when you're saying like you shouldn't eat red meat, I eat mostly red

• 1:44:09Joe Rogan?

  meat. That's like most of my diet. Right. That's like eighty percent of my diet is meat. Yeah, well, I mean, it's an addiction for me. I don't think it's an addiction. I think it's the most nutrient, I think it's the most nutrient dense food in the world. The problem is processed red meat, right? So if you're eating a bunch of processed shit that has a bunch of preservatives in it, yeah, that's not good for you. But like a ribeye steak, a grilled ribeye steak, there is nothing wrong with that. It's one of the most healthy foods you can eat and it has everything you need. It has plenty of vitamins, it has fat, it has all the things that your body naturally knows how to process. And people have been eating that food from the beginning of time. Hmm. Yeah, you just gotta get educated in it.

• 1:44:50Joe Rogan?

  And it's like most people, especially particularly most doctors, I've had conversations with doctors where they've said, you get everything you need from a balanced diet. And I'm like, fuck you. You don't know anything. Like, how much time did you spend in medical school? Learning nutrition? Was it even an hour? Was it a day? Right. Like, it takes a long time and there's real researchers who have spent decades understanding the balance of nutrient dense foods and vitamin supplementation and what vitamin supplementation can cure and fix and what's it's good for and how to balance it out and what vitamins work synergistically with other vitamins. Like if you're taking vitamin D three, which is fantastic for your immune system, you have

• 1:45:32Joe Rogan?

  to take it with K two, you should take it with magnesium as well. Like you gotta, you gotta know these things. And most doctors, they just, they talk out of a, they talk out of a voice of authority about something they're not educated in. Right. They're educated in getting people in and out of their office as quick as possible and getting that insurance money. And that's what they do. Hmm. And most of them, they talk like they're authorities. Meanwhile, they have a gut. You're sitting there looking at this guy who looks like shit and he's telling you about health. Like, bro, you're not healthy. Don't talk to me about health. This is angry. It makes me angry. It really does.

• 1:46:05Speaker 01

  I get it.

• 1:46:06Joe Rogan?

  It's infuriating because it's like, these people, you count on them as authorities and really, they're just... They're just paying off their student debt. They're paying off their fucking loans. They have insane malpractice insurance they have to cover. They have a giant monthly nut and they're trying to push pharmaceutical drugs on you as much as they can. Because they get compensated for that. And that's what they do. And this is the standard American health system. It's a real problem.

• 1:46:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:29Joe Rogan?

  It's a real problem and it leaves us sicker. You know, this is the thing that RFK Junior's trying to balance. Like, we are, we spend more money on healthcare than anyone in the world. We make more money than anyone in the world and we're sicker than anyone in the world. We spend more money than we ever have on healthcare. We're sicker than we've ever been.

• 1:46:47Speaker 01

  We're living the life. We're eating well.

• 1:46:50Joe Rogan?

  It's not it. It's we're eating shit. You know, if we're just eating healthy, the people that are just eating healthy have way less problems. Way less health consequences. Way less issues, way more energy. Way more mental acuity. All those things. Because that's how your body's supposed to live. For thousands and thousands of years, what did we do? We ate fruit, we ate vegetables, we ate meat and chicken and fish and eggs. And that's what you're supposed to eat.

• 1:47:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:47:16Joe Rogan?

  That's real food. Most of these things that sit on a shelf, you're not supposed to eat those.

• 1:47:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:47:21Joe Rogan?

  Just like your dog. Like, your dog's not supposed to be eating kibble.

• 1:47:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:47:24Joe Rogan?

  You know? Feed your dog raw food, your dog's gonna go bonkers. Feed your dog human-grade food, like Farmer's Dog, your dog will go crazy. Watch how she eats it. Watch the difference of the way...

• 1:47:35Speaker 01

  I'll try it.

• 1:47:35Joe Rogan?

  My dog can't wait. He's dripping, water's dripping off of his mouth before I feed him. He's like, sitting there waiting, like, "Stay." And I'm putting it in the bowl, like, "Okay." He like, attacks it.

• 1:47:49Joe Rogan?

  Jamie, you were saying that about your dog, right? Like, Carl, like, when he was eating kibble, he wasn't even interested.

• 1:47:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't even have a, excuse me, never had a chance to even give it to him. He never, never ate it. You just sit there, I'm like, well, what do you, how do you, you're a, how do you, who's been feeding you? And what have they been, like, how did they get in your body?

• 1:48:08Speaker 01

  I always give my dog, when I give her, like, turkey, you know, putting it, sometimes if I have turkey or chicken around, I'll put it in her bowl. I always give her, you know, like, at Katz's Deli, when you order the sandwich, they give you a little piece before that. I always get her a little piece to get her salivating.

• 1:48:24Joe Rogan?

  And she snaps it.

• 1:48:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

• 1:48:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, because it's real food.

• 1:48:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:48:28Joe Rogan?

  That's what people are supposed to be eating too, man. We're supposed to be eating real food, you know? We got tricked, because things have to stay in the supermarket. You gotta, you gotta be able to sit it on the shelf, and it's gotta be able to stay there for a few months. That's how you make your profit. That's why milk is homogenized and pasteurized, and they'll try to scare you off raw milk. Bitch, I drink raw milk every week. There's nothing wrong with raw milk. You just can't get it from a shitty farm, just like you can't get meat that's rotten, just like you can't get sushi that's rotten.

• 1:48:55Speaker 01

  I eat ice cream every day, how bad is that for me?

• 1:48:58Joe Rogan?

  Ice cream is actually not that bad. Ice cream, when you think about bad things to eat, ice cream is probably one of the best desserts to eat. Because ice cream has fats from the cream, it has protein from the milk, and it does have sugar. So you got a little bit of sugar, but you're absorbing that sugar along with all the fat and all the cream. And it probably is way better for you, it's way better for you than sugar, like, drinking, like, a soda. Like, so, a soda is the most alien form of sugar your body absorbs. Your body doesn't know what the fuck this is, because sugar in nature comes from, like, an orange.

• 1:49:42Joe Rogan?

  It has all this fiber, you know, and you're, you're, you're eating it, and it's a slow digestive process. That's why you don't get this crazy spike. But orange juice is fucking nuts. Like, you take all the fiber out, and now you just have just pure sugar water? And you think you're being healthy, well, you're not. Okay, look, you get a little bit of vitamins from the vitamin C that's from the oranges.

• 1:50:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:04Joe Rogan?

  But you're, you're not supposed to eat it that way. You're supposed to eat an orange.

• 1:50:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:50:08Joe Rogan?

  Like, apple juice.

• 1:50:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:50:10Joe Rogan?

  Like, my daughters are, like, very conscious of, like, food and, like, what's in it, and she, she put, we, we went to the supermarket, and she was gonna get an apple juice, she's like...

• 1:50:19Joe Rogan?

  This has thirty grams of sugar. This little thing had thirty grams of sugar. Like, that's crazy. That's just, you're just, you might as well have a Coca-Cola.

• 1:50:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:50:27Joe Rogan?

  It's kind of the same thing. Yeah. Your body, like, I think there's a, there was some paper that was written recently about ice cream actually being good for you. And by far, the best of desserts that you can eat. Because it's, it's milk and cream, you know? It's like, there's, there's actual food in ice cream.

• 1:50:49Speaker 01

  I crave it every night.

• 1:50:50Joe Rogan?

  Ice cream, not that bad. Look at this. Can ice cream be healthy? What recent studies actually show. Recent research has sparked debate about ice cream's place in a balanced diet. By examining long, long-term health studies, scientists are exploring whether moderate consumption may have unexpected links to certain health outcomes. So, ice cream has long been regarded as classic indulgence, rather than a healthy food, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. The discussion largely emerged, okay, however, in recent times, some surprising research has sparked a debate among nutrition scientists by saying that consumption of ice cream may be related to certain unpredictable health outcomes. The discussion largely emerged from data analyzed in long-running research projects such as Nurses' Health Study and Health Professional Follow-Up Study,

• 1:51:32Joe Rogan?

  two major epidemiological studies that track diet and health outcomes over decades. Research examined dietary patterns among participants with type 2 diabetes, noticed unusual pattern related to ice cream consumption. Discussion earned, okay, what is the, the discussion?

• 1:51:50Joe Rogan?

  Consuming ice cream more regularly sometimes appeared to have lower risks of certain health conditions, especially cardiovascular disease amongst individuals who have type 2 diabetes. The problem is with epidemiological studies, you're just basically like filling out a form as to what you ate, and they track that with like large study groups of people, and they try to figure out, okay, that's one of the ways they find out, like, oh, the people that eat red meat more are, are sicker. But that's also like, what are you eating?

• 1:52:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:52:18Joe Rogan?

  You eating burgers that you call red meat with sugar, with a, with a Coca-Cola?

• 1:52:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:52:23Joe Rogan?

  And some fries?

• 1:52:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:52:24Joe Rogan?

  Like, because that's what a lot of people are eating.

• 1:52:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:52:26Joe Rogan?

  So, it's not like grass-fed steak with a salad. You know, that's not the problem.

• 1:52:32Speaker 01

  Remember Craig, who came in here, Craig from Craig's?

• 1:52:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:35Speaker 01

  He told me to say hi.

• 1:52:35Joe Rogan?

  I love Craig.

• 1:52:36Speaker 01

  He said steak, and I thought about steak.

• 1:52:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he makes a great steak.

• 1:52:39Speaker 01

  That was my joke when I got colon cancer. I told Craig, you're gonna go out of business if I'm not eating your steak.

• 1:52:44Joe Rogan?

  Eh, I don't think you have to stop eating steak. I mean, I'm no doctor, but I don't, I don't think steak's the problem. I think all the other shit's the problem. I think it's preservatives and bullshit and processed food. It's just not good for you, man. None of it's good for you. If it could sit on a shelf like that, how's all these preservatives? That stuff wrecks havoc on your gut bacteria. When you're consuming things that are filled with preservatives, that, those preservatives are essentially killing life. That's what they do. That's how it keeps bacteria and mold from growing on the food. It's, it's a life killer. And then you eat it, go, oh, yum, yum, yum. Oh, it's preserved, so I can eat it. I mean, your, your health, your healthy gut bacteria just gets fucking nuked.

• 1:53:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't think it's meat is the problem.

• 1:53:34Speaker 01

  I sometimes, you know, I was on a USO Christmas tour, and I ate worse on that than I would. And I go, how are the?

• 1:53:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:49Speaker 01

  That's something they should fix.

• 1:53:50Joe Rogan?

  That is something. They, they're trying to fix that. RFK Jr.'s trying to fix that.

• 1:53:54Speaker 01

  I was like eating ice cream and shakes and burgers and pizza at every base.

• 1:53:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a lot of processed food. Yeah, it's terrible food for those soldiers. It's terrible. And then you're asking them to go to perform in the most fucking scary thing on earth, combat.

• 1:54:10Speaker 01

  So it made me think, well, maybe it is, maybe it's all bullshit. If the military's eating the same pizza and pepperoni that I'm eating at home, then they should be more.

• 1:54:19Joe Rogan?

  No, the, what's bullshit is the way they treat those people. That's what's bullshit. What's bullshit is the, the way they take care of them. That's what's bullshit. What's bullshit is the, the consideration they give to the diet of these people.

• 1:54:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:54:31Joe Rogan?

  You're asking these people to make the ultimate sacrifice. You're giving them prison food. That's what's bullshit.

• 1:54:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:54:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. It's not, diet's not bullshit. Diet's everything. It is literally everything. Like I said, your body has nothing else, nothing else that it can build itself up with other than nutrients. It's all it has. You consume it, if you don't, you you starve to death, right? If you don't eat, you starve to death. So in order for your body to take care of itself, what are you giving it? It's that simple.

• 1:55:02Speaker 01

  You drink a lot of water?

• 1:55:03Joe Rogan?

  A lot of water, yeah.

• 1:55:04Speaker 01

  You still drink a lot of coffee?

• 1:55:06Joe Rogan?

  I drink less. Um, I've been drinking coffee later in the day now. Um, I've been like going through my day and not drinking my first cup of coffee till like noon now. I've been doing that a lot lately.

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  Hmm. You don't need it in the morning to get going?

• 1:55:21Joe Rogan?

  Sometimes I feel like I do. I enjoy it, I indulge if I enjoy it, but I don't like relying on things. I don't like having to do things. I don't ever wanna have that feeling. So lately I've been like, and I've gone days without coffee just to see what that feels like. Sometimes I feel a little sluggish. But there's ways you can avoid that too. Like I'll take nootropics, which is a brain nutrients, you know? Theanine and uh uh acetylcholine and a bunch of different things. Like there's alpha brain, that stuff pumps my brain up and fires it up. It's just you can get addicted to caffeine. Caffeine is very, very addictive. And uh I feel like if I can get my day going without it, it's probably better.

• 1:56:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. I drink a lot less, but I see what you're saying.

• 1:56:04Joe Rogan?

  I love it, though.

• 1:56:05Speaker 01

  Oh, it's great.

• 1:56:06Joe Rogan?

  I love a cup of coffee. I love it, I love it.

• 1:56:09Speaker 01

  Uh, I landed yesterday, Austin Airport, like I needed a coffee so bad. I'd been out partying the night before, early flight. I land and you just want a cup of coffee before you even start seeing your texts, cuz you don't wanna deal. And it's like, the first place I go to, it's like, there's a long line. Uh, I finally get there and it's like, it's a kiosk. And I'm like, I can't kiosk, I need to just tell someone to put coffee in a cup and hand it to me. And I go to another place and it's like, they they charge me and then they hand me a cup and go, go fill it. And I walk away, I just can't, I get so fricking cranky. And I go to the third place finally, and it's just like, they give you a cup of coffee.

• 1:56:49Speaker 01

  The kiosks and the, the, the, no employees, just, it all makes me so mad. I wanna talk to somebody.

• 1:56:56Joe Rogan?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:56:57Speaker 01

  I don't like filling out a computer when I want something.

• 1:57:01Joe Rogan?

  I rarely go to coffee places because I drink black coffee. And black coffee at Starbucks tastes like dog shit.

• 1:57:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:57:09Joe Rogan?

  It's all burnt and tastes terrible. It's just not good.

• 1:57:12Speaker 01

  I could drink any coffee. You could take old coffee, put it in a microwave, and it's the same to me as.

• 1:57:17Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 1:57:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, an espresso that you're.

• 1:57:19Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I like, I like this. See, this is French press. Black Rifle Coffee, you want some?

• 1:57:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:26Joe Rogan?

  Get in there, dog. That's good coffee. That's real coffee, son.

• 1:57:31Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:57:34Joe Rogan?

  That's coffee.

• 1:57:35Speaker 01

  Cheers.

• 1:57:35Joe Rogan?

  Taste that. Cheers.

• 1:57:38Joe Rogan?

  Here's another problem.

• 1:57:39Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:57:40Joe Rogan?

  That's not, not bad, right? If you get coffee from Starbucks, you're getting in a paper cup. And if you get it in a paper cup, it's not paper you're drinking out of. It's plastic. Cause the inner lining of those paper cups is basically like a condom.

• 1:57:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:57:53Joe Rogan?

  Ever seen when they break it down?

• 1:57:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:55Joe Rogan?

  When they, well, if you add hot liquid to plastic, that plastic leaches chemicals into your body that are not good for you. They're called forever chemicals. They're terrible for you. So like every time you drink a hot liquid that's in a paper cup, you're sucking on plastic residue.

• 1:58:15Speaker 01

  That's gross.

• 1:58:16Joe Rogan?

  We're gross. There's a lot of things that are gross about the American lifestyle. I mean, if you get coffee from Starbucks or something like that, ideally you should bring your own cup. Bring a mug, bring, you know, like a little, one of those little Yetis, you know? So it's like pouring right into stainless steel. That's how you're supposed to drink it. But who does that? Who brings a little stainless steel?

• 1:58:39Speaker 01

  Not me.

• 1:58:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeti with them everywhere.

• 1:58:41Speaker 01

  Not me.

• 1:58:41Joe Rogan?

  Nobody, but if you did that, you, you'd get a lot less of this fucking microplastics in your gut. It'd also wreck havoc on your body, destroy your immune system, destroy your endocrine system. It's, they're endocrine disruptors, so it stops your body from producing hormones naturally, which also can lead to a host of different diseases.

• 1:59:02Speaker 01

  Makes me think maybe Charlie Sheen was right after all.

• 1:59:05Joe Rogan?

  Crack.

• 1:59:05Speaker 01

  Smoking crack while getting a blowjob.

• 1:59:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's how to do it.

• 1:59:08Speaker 01

  You don't think he was worried about the plastics in the pipe?

• 1:59:11Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's certain dudes that are built different and they could, I mean, a lot of people that did what Charlie did would have already been dead a long time ago. He's resilient.

• 1:59:22Joe Rogan?

  I do hope somebody puts him in a big movie.

• 1:59:26Speaker 01

  I like your idea.

• 1:59:26Joe Rogan?

  I like a good comeback story.

• 1:59:29Speaker 01

  Maybe he's due for another roast.

• 1:59:34Joe Rogan?

  Be hard now. He's all clean, sober. It's like, what did you do 20 years ago? It's like, eh. But now he's kind of doing all right. He looks good, looks healthy. He looked a lot better than I thought he was gonna look. Like, it doesn't look like a guy who's went through 25 years of crack.

• 1:59:51Speaker 01

  And he was sick?

• 1:59:52Joe Rogan?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:59:54Joe Rogan?

  And what did he have?

• 1:59:55Speaker 01

  HIV.

• 1:59:56Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. HIV is weird. That's a weird one. Because with the medication they have now, you don't really, you're not even testing positive, but they just tell you you have it no matter what, it's dormant. It just doesn't totally make sense. There was a guy named Peter Duesberg that I had on my show a long time ago, and he was a professor out of the University of California, Berkeley, and just brilliant, brilliant guy. Groundbreaking work on cancer, but he had a very controversial take on HIV. And his take was, he didn't believe that HIVs would cause AIDS. He said, "The fact that you have HIV is because your immune system is so severely compromised that HIV shows up."

• 2:00:40Joe Rogan?

  That was his take on it, and he was ostracized. You gotta realize, like, during the AIDS crisis, do you know who was the guy that was in charge of the medical establishment in this country? Anthony motherfucking Fauci. Same guy. And that guy had everybody convinced that we're all gonna get AIDS, that we're all gonna die, and y'all have to take this medication. And one of the medications they gave people was AZT. Problem with AZT was, AZT was a chemotherapy medication, and it was killing people quicker than cancer was, so they stopped using it. They repurposed it when AIDS came along, and they started giving it to AIDS people because they didn't have to go through this whole process of...

• 2:01:21Joe Rogan?

  Like getting a, a drug certified, getting a drug to go through the FDA and they already had a drug. So they said, well, this drug, this will be the drug we use for AIDS. Like fucking killed everybody they put on it. Killed tons and tons of people. When they stopped using AZT, people stopped dying. You know, that's what Dallas Buyers Club was all about. It was all about them trying, that movie with Matthew McConaughey. It was all about them trying to find alternative cures. Um, alternative medications and being able to access alternative medications. He wanted everybody to use AZT. And he was like, AZT, the reason why they use it is the only drug that is both safe and effective. It's literally what he said. Back then, in the fucking eighties.

• 2:02:04Joe Rogan?

  And, uh, that's the same guy that sold us this bag of bullshit with the COVID origins and, and whether or not it was gain of function research that caused it. He's just creepy fucking guy.

• 2:02:18Speaker 01

  We never really got answers on any of this.

• 2:02:20Joe Rogan?

  We will. It'll take time, but we will, and he'll probably be gone by the time it's publicly understood. But if you read RFK Junior's book, The Real Anthony Fauci, it'll open your mind. It'll open your eyes. He talks about how they were testing out in the, uh, nineteen eighties, they were testing out HIV vaccines on foster kids in New York and killing them.

• 2:02:42Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 2:02:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. They tested it out on foster kids. Yeah, it's real. If it wasn't real, he would have been sued. He, he hasn't been sued for it.

• 2:02:51Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:02:52Joe Rogan?

  It's a dark book, dude. The Real Anthony Fauci, I can't recommend it enough. It's a fucking terrifying book, but that's the same guy that was a part of the

• 2:02:59Speaker 01

  I'll wait for the movie.

• 2:03:00Joe Rogan?

  AIDS thing. The movie's gonna be weird.

• 2:03:05Joe Rogan?

  Who would play Anthony Fauci in a movie? Maybe Martin Short.

• 2:03:09Speaker 01

  I think it's another Sean Penn tour de force.

• 2:03:13Joe Rogan?

  Sean Penn was all about the vaccine.

• 2:03:14Speaker 01

  Do you miss acting?

• 2:03:16Joe Rogan?

  Not even a little.

• 2:03:17Speaker 01

  I was thinking about that the other day. You really were in this whole other world, Joe.

• 2:03:24Speaker 01

  Call times, makeup, lines, blocking.

• 2:03:27Joe Rogan?

  Uh, well, I enjoyed working on news radio and it was very, I felt insanely fortunate to be able to work with Phil Hartman and Dave Foley and all those people on that show. Steven Root, Maura Tierney, and Vicky Lewis, Andy Dick. It was incredible. Candy Alexander. It was an incredible cast of people. I mean, I felt super, super lucky, but once it was over, I'm like, I don't think I'll ever be able to recreate that. Because that was like optimal and I had been on a couple of other shows as a guest. I didn't like it. And I was like, this is not what I like. I only did it for money, you know? It's not my thing. And it's a long process, dude. Sitcom hours or, you know, especially in the beginning days.

• 2:04:10Joe Rogan?

  It was like 12, 16 hour days.

• 2:04:13Speaker 01

  Who wrote that show?

• 2:04:14Joe Rogan?

  Paul Sims and a bunch of other writers, but he was from the Larry Sanders Show.

• 2:04:19Joe Rogan?

  You know, and um, he did Barrow Rock Empire after that, a bunch of other stuff, but brilliant guy. But that show was just like, they caught lightning in a bottle. I got so lucky to be a part of that show. And I'm like, I could never be on a shitty sitcom after that. You know, I couldn't be on some fucking, you know, sloppy canned horseshit show.

• 2:04:43Speaker 01

  He went highbrow with Fear Factor.

• 2:04:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, I took that because there was no actors. First of all, I took Fear Factor because I thought it was gonna be canceled. I thought this is gonna be giving me a lot of material.

• 2:04:53Speaker 01

  It was like rad for forever.

• 2:04:55Joe Rogan?

  148 episodes. Yeah, it was nuts.

• 2:04:58Speaker 01

  Have you seen the new one?

• 2:04:59Joe Rogan?

  No, I haven't, but Johnny came on, Johnny Knoxville came on to do it. I didn't see the Ludacris one either. But uh, how long did Ludacris do it for?

• 2:05:08Speaker 01

  I don't even know that till now.

• 2:05:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Ludacris did it, I think, was it on MTV, Jamie? I think he did it on MTV. MTV did it for a little while. I think he did it for, I don't know how long. But I love Johnny. Johnny Knoxville is the fucking, he's the best.

• 2:05:23Speaker 01

  A true gentleman.

• 2:05:24Joe Rogan?

  Sweetheart of a guy. And.

• 2:05:26Speaker 01

  I love him so much.

• 2:05:27Joe Rogan?

  I hope it does well, you know? I hope they don't hurt anybody. That's the problem. Like when Fear Factor came back on NBC, um, when we came back in 2011 and we only did six episodes, they were really trying to make it bigger and better. I was like, Jesus Christ, we're gonna fucking kill somebody.

• 2:05:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:05:42Joe Rogan?

  It felt like it. It felt, like when it was canceled, I was happy. I was like, phew, fuck this.

• 2:05:49Speaker 01

  You were done.

• 2:05:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, it got cancelled because they had to drink cum.

• 2:05:54Joe Rogan?

  Do you know that?

• 2:05:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:05:55Joe Rogan?

  You don't know that?

• 2:05:56Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:05:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they played horseshoes to drink donkey cum.

• 2:06:03Speaker 01

  We still talking about Andy Dick at news radio?

• 2:06:05Joe Rogan?

  No, no, we're talking about Fear Factor now. Andy only drank people cum. He's, he's a gentleman. Um, but yeah, that happened, that's what got the show cancelled. But that's because they were just trying to make it as outrageous as poss- as possible.

• 2:06:22Speaker 01

  It's like the early, you were right at the beginning of that crazy.

• 2:06:25Joe Rogan?

  This is it, Fear Factor, donkey juice. This is it. They had to play horseshoes and they drank donkey piss and donkey cum. There was three sets of twins and one twin had to drink the cum. Look at that, that's a mug of cum.

• 2:06:40Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 2:06:41Joe Rogan?

  It's so foul.

• 2:06:42Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:06:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so TMZ, I think, got ahold of the clip or images and said that Fear Factor was doing this and it never aired in the United States, but it aired overseas. It aired, uh, somewhere in Europe. I want to say the Netherlands or Denmark or some shit.

• 2:06:57Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:06:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:00Speaker 01

  Now you survived.

• 2:07:01Joe Rogan?

  Good times, good times.

• 2:07:02Speaker 01

  Now you're drinking delicious coffee in your palatial.

• 2:07:05Joe Rogan?

  Hanging out with you, Jeff Ross.

• 2:07:06Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 2:07:07Joe Rogan?

  Dude, I've known you since you were Jeff Lipshultz.

• 2:07:09Speaker 01

  I've known you since your best joke, which was, um, never trust a hooker with a walkie talkie.

• 2:07:18Speaker 01

  You go, I learned, you were like 25, but you're like, I've learned a lot of things in my life.

• 2:07:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:22Speaker 01

  I never trust a hooker with a walkie talkie. Was that the joke?

• 2:07:25Joe Rogan?

  Um, no, it was, I went to college for three years. You know what I learned? How'd it go?

• 2:07:33Joe Rogan?

  Don't trust hookers with walk- with walkie talkies.

• 2:07:35Speaker 01

  I don't know. You know me since Jeff Lip- I'm still, by the way, I'm still Jeff Lipshultz. My ID, my passport.

• 2:07:43Joe Rogan?

  Maybe you shouldn't tell everybody.

• 2:07:44Speaker 01

  It's alright.

• 2:07:44Joe Rogan?

  We should have hid that.

• 2:07:45Speaker 01

  It's, it's, it's, at this point.

• 2:07:47Joe Rogan?

  When did you change it to Ross? What year was that?

• 2:07:49Speaker 01

  Oh, I could tell you. What happened was... I got booked on Star Search down in Florida. Like, my first time on TV. You know, we were all starting to get like, on MTV and Star Search, those shows were coming around. And I go down to Orlando, where they were shooting it back then. And, um, Ed McMahon was the host. And he kept introducing me by fucking up my... "Art, this week's challenger, Jeff Lipshitz." And I'd walk out. And I'd... It would screw me up, you know? Then the next... I'd won, and then the next day, it's like, "This week's challenger, you know, life shots." You know, he would just screw it up every time.

• 2:08:32Speaker 01

  And on the flight home, I was like, I either have to... If I... I really love comedy. I was like, two years in, I go, "Let me think about this." Ross is my middle name. Jon Stewart was John Liebovitz, and he had told me he had... He did it for the similar reasons of like, no one can sp... If I asked you to spell Lipshitz right now, even you couldn't, and you'd known me 35 years.

• 2:08:55Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:08:56Speaker 01

  So, I was like, "All right. Either I'm gonna have to change my name, or my whole family's gonna... I don't know what to do." So, Ross, it just made sense.

• 2:09:04Joe Rogan?

  It's easy.

• 2:09:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:09:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's easy.

• 2:09:06Speaker 01

  Jeff Ross.

• 2:09:07Joe Rogan?

  What was Ed McMahon like?

• 2:09:09Speaker 01

  Uh, you know...

• 2:09:10Joe Rogan?

  Did you ever hang out with him?

• 2:09:11Speaker 01

  I shook his hand, and that was the end of it. I didn't get to know him very well.

• 2:09:15Joe Rogan?

  I heard he was an animal.

• 2:09:16Speaker 01

  I heard he drank a lot.

• 2:09:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:18Speaker 01

  But then I made some joke like that, and people got mad at me online, going, "Don't disrespect Ed McMahon."

• 2:09:24Joe Rogan?

  Was he gone by the time you made that joke?

• 2:09:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was recently, because they rebooted Star Search just now.

• 2:09:30Joe Rogan?

  Fuck people online. You can't listen to them.

• 2:09:32Speaker 01

  Uh, dude, that's another thing Saget taught me, Bob Saget, like, block the haters. Like, you know, we would argue about this, 'cause like, he would block people. And I go, "Well, then they know you saw it. Just ignore them, let them float out to sea." He goes, "No." He goes, "No, I want them to know that they're blocked." He goes, "And I don't want them following me. I don't want... I don't want to say funny things for pe... to people who say mean things." He valued himself.

• 2:10:01Joe Rogan?

  I say, don't read the comments. I say, don't even pay attention. Let them exist in the ether.

• 2:10:06Speaker 01

  Well, you're off social right now.

• 2:10:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:08Speaker 01

  You told me.

• 2:10:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I post things, but I post and ghost. That's what I tell people. Post and ghost. Just post things. It's like people know about stuff or something's interesting. You know, someone sends you something interesting, like, oh, people should know about this.

• 2:10:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:10:22Joe Rogan?

  That's it. Get out.

• 2:10:24Speaker 01

  I got better instead of using social media, like, Seth Green is my neighbor, good buddy of mine, the actor. And he, he, he started doing this during the pandemic. Instead of texting or liking people's stuff, he FaceTimes. It takes longer, but he's like, it's a real connection.

• 2:10:42Joe Rogan?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:10:43Speaker 01

  So he'll FaceTime you, you know, and talk to me, just even if it's for a minute.

• 2:10:47Joe Rogan?

  What if you have an Android phone?

• 2:10:48Speaker 01

  Then you're fucked. And my friend Benji Afflalo goes, uh, he, he quotes Brody all the time. He'll just, he'll write, he'll text me emojis, positive and a check. Positive check in. He would just positive check in.

• 2:11:03Joe Rogan?

  Positive energy.

• 2:11:05Speaker 01

  Positive check in.

• 2:11:06Joe Rogan?

  God, he was so fun. I met, here's another guy, he's on my fucking contact list that's gone that I missed.

• 2:11:12Speaker 01

  I almost wore my Brody t-shirt today. I was thinking about him a lot lately, I don't know why.

• 2:11:17Joe Rogan?

  Enjoy it.

• 2:11:18Speaker 01

  Enjoy it. Has there ever been a comedian who's been less famous, but more, uh, his, his cadence has been more like remembered? It's almost like him and Dangerfield have the most memorable deliveries of all time.

• 2:11:30Joe Rogan?

  Especially for us, for the guys who are around him.

• 2:11:32Speaker 01

  Brody Stevens, I don't know if people know.

• 2:11:33Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, for the guys who were around him, he was so good. He was just such a unique dude. And he would show up at the Comedy Store and pull into the lot, everybody'd smile.

• 2:11:43Speaker 01

  Oh, I, when I first met him, I really, truly hated him. I really hate him. It was, it was, it was literally like the mid nineties, Joe, like in New York and. I can't believe I haven't thought about this in so long. The show that, it's so funny. The show that's coming out tonight. I'd started developing 30 years ago. My grandfather died. I live with my grandfather. And it was like a way to like process it. And it was emotional. And I was doing it at little alternative comedy spaces in New York. And I didn't know Brody. And Brody would sit in the front. He was obsessed with it. Because I was like talking about stuff that hit for him somehow.

• 2:12:28Speaker 01

  And he would sit in the front. But he would, like, over laugh or twitch around at a seat. So then, you know, I'm developing this like one man show. It was like different than stand up. And he's like, he would want to talk to me about it. And he would say like weird things that kind of threw me off. You know, he would notice the differences. And I said, uh, listen, man. HBO is coming to see it next week. Could you just not be in the audience? He goes, oh, okay, I understand. I'm the guy who bothers you. You don't like me. I get that. I go, no, it's not that, man. It's just that like you're like.

• 2:13:07Speaker 06

  Brody.

• 2:13:07Speaker 01

  You're like.

• 2:13:08Speaker 06

  Eight one eight till I die.

• 2:13:10Speaker 01

  You're distracting me. And I'm not like, you know, I was only doing comedy a few years. So then HBO comes and Brody, I walk on stage and Brody's in the front row.

• 2:13:23Speaker 01

  So afterwards I go, dude, what the fuck is your problem? I told you not to be. He's like, there were no other seats. I couldn't miss it. And our friendship grew where we both moved out to LA. And we became such good friends that I had a Comedy Central show. He was the warm up. I had to have him around me all the time. I felt safer and better. I think we both grew from like.

• 2:13:45Speaker 06

  I was a model in Pakistan.

• 2:13:49Speaker 06

  Cover of Camel Beat magazine.

• 2:13:51Speaker 01

  Uh, I dated an amputee. We met on StubHub.

• 2:13:57Speaker 01

  What was the one about the Nickelback tour jacket? I was at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I saw the Nickelback tour. It was in the Lost and Found. I love Brody. Look up Brody Stevens.

• 2:14:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:10Speaker 01

  I heard you talking about him the other day to, about, about his friendship with Zach Galifianakis.

• 2:14:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:19Speaker 01

  And that, were you there when they did the memorial at the Comedy Store?

• 2:14:22Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 2:14:24Speaker 01

  Had a good line.

• 2:14:25Joe Rogan?

  I don't like those things.

• 2:14:26Speaker 01

  I was backstage and Brody's like, college baseball coach, high school baseball coach, and all his friends all spoke for like an hour. And then they bring me out and I go, "After hearing all Brody's friends talk for an hour, I'm starting to understand why he killed himself."

• 2:14:46Joe Rogan?

  That's why I don't like those things.

• 2:14:47Speaker 01

  Uh, it was beautiful.

• 2:14:48Joe Rogan?

  I prefer to mourn people solo.

• 2:14:51Speaker 01

  It was beautiful, actually.

• 2:14:53Joe Rogan?

  Well, Brody was a beautiful guy.

• 2:14:55Speaker 01

  That's our world. We gotta remember these guys.

• 2:14:58Joe Rogan?

  I know, we do. Well, you know, one of the good things about podcasts is like, the world gets to understand a lot of these people and hear us talk about a lot of these people. I think our world is more understood now in this day and age with the podcast world than I think it's ever been known before. More criticized, but that's part of the prob, I mean, that's part of the process of it. That's normal. But also, more understood. Like, people get it. They get it.

• 2:15:23Speaker 01

  I remember when you had-

• 2:15:23Joe Rogan?

  It's a weird art form.

• 2:15:24Speaker 01

  Remember when you had Gilbert Gottfried on? That was great.

• 2:15:26Joe Rogan?

  Gilbert was awesome.

• 2:15:27Speaker 01

  I don't think he fully understood what was happening here, but I remember really enjoying your interview with Gilbert.

• 2:15:35Joe Rogan?

  What do you mean, you don't think he understood? He'd done Stern, he'd done-

• 2:15:38Speaker 01

  Right, but, but he, he-

• 2:15:42Speaker 01

  This is stern as fast and jumping in and jo- you know, like, impressions. This is more of a conversation which Gilbert, in his spectrum-y thing, you know, it's tough, a lot of yes and no answers.

• 2:15:54Joe Rogan?

  I thought he was great.

• 2:15:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:15:56Joe Rogan?

  But I loved him, you know, and he knew I loved him. I was always a giant fan of his. So it was like, I think it was pretty easy.

• 2:16:02Speaker 01

  I wear a Gilbert Gottfried shirt in this special.

• 2:16:04Joe Rogan?

  That's cool.

• 2:16:05Speaker 01

  Ultimate tribute.

• 2:16:06Joe Rogan?

  He was a sweetheart. So was a sweet guy. So fucking funny, too. Goddamn, that guy was funny. I used to love watching his sets in New York.

• 2:16:14Speaker 01

  Oh, the best.

• 2:16:16Joe Rogan?

  Especially like in the 90s where no one knew who he was. Like, oh, my god. He's such a killer.

• 2:16:22Speaker 01

  One of his last times on stage, I was, uh, at an improv in Florida, and he came with his family. And he came on as a surprise guest. He walked out and he told this long, crazy joke about skull fucking his dead grandma.

• 2:16:41Speaker 01

  So at his funeral, at his funeral, like a year and a half later, I said, Gilbert's comedy was fearless and ruthless and subversive, yet he was so lovable that he could get us to laugh at a joke about skull fucking a dead person. And then I looked at his coffin and I said, "Not so funny now, huh, Gilbert?"

• 2:17:01Speaker 01

  So, I love Gilbert.

• 2:17:03Joe Rogan?

  We've had the very unique opportunity to be around some really, truly exceptional people. Rare, rare human beings, you know, and so many of them, you know? We're so rich in our associations with so many completely unusual people, you know?

• 2:17:20Speaker 01

  Here's one more Gilbert story.

• 2:17:22Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 2:17:22Speaker 01

  One time, we were roasting Joan Rivers. I was producing it, and I booked Gilbert. And I'm on the phone, I'm smoking a joint, and I go, "I got one joke I like, but I can't do it." He goes, "What is it?" I go, "Well, you know, like, Kanye West's mom had recently died during a plastic surgery procedure." It was the background. And, and, uh, I go, "Joan Rivers, Gilbert, you know, Joan Rivers, uh, Kanye's mom has a better plastic surgeon than you." And, uh, and, uh, I go, "But I can't do that." And Gilbert goes, "I'll do it." And that's what I realized. I was being a pussy and I had to do it. So I did it. So he pushed me.

• 2:18:04Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome. That's awesome.

• 2:18:06Speaker 01

  He's a really special, special guy.

• 2:18:09Joe Rogan?

  We're lucky dudes, Jeff. We really are. We're lucky. And especially now that we know all these people that we just talked about that were amazing and are gone. We're lucky we're still here.

• 2:18:17Speaker 01

  Being a comedian is like a backstage pass to the world. You get to see things you never would see as a civilian.

• 2:18:25Joe Rogan?

  It's true.

• 2:18:26Speaker 01

  Dude, I just went to Qatar, Djibouti, Africa.

• 2:18:31Joe Rogan?

  You were in Djibouti? What were you doing in Djibouti? You did stand up there?

• 2:18:34Speaker 01

  For the troops.

• 2:18:35Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 2:18:35Speaker 01

  Christmas with the vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs. Saw the Patriot missiles that they're using now. I was at two of the bases that just got hit. Just a few months ago.

• 2:18:46Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:18:48Joe Rogan?

  That's nuts.

• 2:18:48Speaker 01

  You get to see, and when you're with the vice chairman, you're, sometimes you're on FOBs, they call them. Forward operating bases. They don't even tell you where you are exactly.

• 2:18:58Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow.

• 2:18:59Speaker 01

  You know, you're like 80 miles from the Iranian border, somewhere in Kuwait or Qatar or Jordan. It's so cool.

• 2:19:07Joe Rogan?

  Wild. You've always done a lot of stuff with the troops. You've been doing that from way back, from like the early 2000s.

• 2:19:15Speaker 01

  2003, my first trip to Iraq with Drew Carey.

• 2:19:20Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:19:21Speaker 01

  Yep. He took me in 2003. Saddam was still alive. I went back in 05. I've done probably 100 of those shows all over the world.

• 2:19:30Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:19:31Speaker 01

  It's the best, man. That's why I'm a comedian. That's the best feeling. That's the best feeling. They say, oh, thanks for coming. And I'm like, thank you, man. Just forget that I'm like entertaining. You know, you're doing a show for people who are star for entertainment. It fills me up like it, it, it, it, it invigorates me. It, it's just, they're not drinking. They're the best crowds.

• 2:19:55Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:19:57Speaker 01

  I highly recommend it.

• 2:19:58Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome.

• 2:20:01Joe Rogan?

  All right, dude, your special isn't out yet?

• 2:20:04Speaker 01

  Tonight.

• 2:20:04Joe Rogan?

  Tonight. Look at you. A Netflix comedy special, longest special Netflix ever did.

• 2:20:12Joe Rogan?

  You got the Bobby Brown microphone on?

• 2:20:15Speaker 01

  I sing.

• 2:20:17Speaker 01

  I sing a song in the show.

• 2:20:18Joe Rogan?

  Sweet sour mix. Look at that outfit.

• 2:20:21Speaker 01

  It's a suit of armor, this guy.

• 2:20:25Speaker 01

  This guy, poor guy, lost his hands in an explosion.

• 2:20:28Joe Rogan?

  Oh geez.

• 2:20:29Speaker 01

  I asked him why his wife never got finger banged.

• 2:20:34Joe Rogan?

  Jesus.

• 2:20:35Speaker 01

  It's a multimedia show about my family, about resilience, about bouncing back.

• 2:20:41Joe Rogan?

  Are those screens on the back wall, a bunch of different screens?

• 2:20:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:20:44Joe Rogan?

  And they show different things on them?

• 2:20:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, the dogs.

• 2:20:47Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 2:20:48Speaker 01

  You're gonna love this show.

• 2:20:49Joe Rogan?

  I'm sure I'll love it.

• 2:20:50Speaker 01

  It's about some of the stuff we were talking about, like when you take a hit, getting back up.

• 2:20:56Joe Rogan?

  That's awesome. And what's it called again?

• 2:20:58Speaker 01

  It's called Take a Banana for the Ride. When I was an open mic'er, I would take my grandfather to his doctor appointments. And then at night, I would go in New York and try to get on stage at the open mics. And my grandfather would give me a few dollars for the bus and tolls and a banana. Take a banana for the ride. Kind of his way of saying, I can't go with you, but I'm there with you on the ride. I just tattooed a banana with my mom's, would write I love you or I miss you and put them in my school lunches. So I found an old letter with her handwriting and made a tattoo.

• 2:21:31Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 2:21:32Speaker 01

  So now I always have a banana.

• 2:21:36Speaker 01

  This one Eddie Vedder drew. It says born to roast.

• 2:21:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 2:21:42Joe Rogan?

  All right, it's out now. Ladies and gentlemen, go watch it. Jeff Ross, I love you, buddy.

• 2:21:46Speaker 01

  Love you, Rogan.

• 2:21:47Joe Rogan?

  Thank you.

• 2:21:48Speaker 01

  Good to see you, bud.

• 2:21:48Joe Rogan?

  Bye, everybody.

• 2:22:32Speaker 07

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