Professor Jiang Predicts The Antichrist | FILE_16 | Mystery Boys

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: http://duncantrussell.com/tour🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger🎤 Follow Professor Jiang: http://youtube.com/@predictivehistory🎤 Follow Big Homie CC: http://instagram.com/bighomie.cc SPONSORS: Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/mysteryboys New DraftKings customers, sign up with code MYSTERY spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week, Professor Jiang of Predictive History makes his last podcast appearance in America before heading back to China, and the boys use the window to ask if he works for the CCP, why the singularity is the delivery system for the Antichrist system, and how many Antichrists there actually are. The investigation runs through the Andrew Wilson debate school and the $300,000 Candace Owens question, the seventh and final Rebbe, the Crusades absolution loophole, Flock cameras and the surveillance grid, the AI bubble and nationalized data centers, six hours of Mitch McConnell sitting perfectly still, and the professor's plan for world peace, which is to invade Canada. Then Big Homie CC calls in from Kenya with the biggest one yet: the eight-foot taxidermy Bigfoot he locked eyes on in a big game hunter's trophy room, the severed hand in the glass case above the fireplace, and the client's exact words — "the big old boys are real, they're out there." The mysteries keep coming with the Yeren, China's Sasquatch, why China has no cryptids and no aliens, the woman in China who says she is Jesus, growing up in a doomsday cult, the EDP445 documentary, three real exorcisms, and the black snake wrapped around your spine. Also: Waymo's sex robot fleet, the spy balloon plan, how to beat a Canadian, why George R. R. Martin can never die, and Buster ruining everything. This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys File_016 http://instagram.com/duncantrussellhttp://instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedyhttp://instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcasthttp://store.ymhstudios.com Songs from this episode:http://suno.com/s/p4Rxe7Q5uh22fQfb Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537 or 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as Fifty dollar click-to-claims every seven days for twenty-one days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:42 - The Professor Jiang Theme Song 00:02:44 - Do you work for the CCP?' — the secret mission 00:03:45 - Poison food, tainted beef and the Argentina bailout 00:07:06 - The Andrew Wilson debate school 00:12:31 - The Wilson Shake' song 00:14:10 - Mitch McConnell sits perfectly still for six hours 00:20:03 - Sex robot Waymos 00:29:47 - The Antichrist system and the singularity 00:36:48 - Chabad, Schneerson and the end times 00:51:01 - Japan's yen carry trade and the coming collapse 01:02:09 - A plan for world peace — invade Canada 01:06:13 - Blood boys, EDP445 and Chris Chan 01:07:13 - The Lindsay Clancy trial and psych meds 01:14:17 - RIP Dolly Parton 01:16:26 - Big Homie CC calls in from Kenya 01:18:44 - The Bigfoot in the trophy room 01:30:14 - Prepping, Jesus and the Chinese Jesus rebellion 01:36:38 - The EDP445 documentary and his eclectic list 01:43:15 - Andrew Tate and humiliation rituals 01:45:36 - Wayfair, Sound of Freedom and Scientology 01:50:21 - Exorcism stories 01:54:48 - Wrap-up + Buster Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:22Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, well, hello. It's me, Yolo Cobra Tate. And with me as always is a

• 0:28Duncan Trussell?

  Lavish Taunt.

• 0:30Kurt Metzger?

  And what a very special episode of Girthful Streams we have for you this week.

• 0:35Duncan Trussell?

  Absolutely.

• 0:36Kurt Metzger?

  On the Girthful Streams podcast, because we have Professor Zhang, probably the last podcast appearance in America.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  Probably, yeah.

• 0:43Kurt Metzger?

  Well, before you go.

• 0:45Duncan Trussell?

  And because we're so honored by your appearance.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 0:48Duncan Trussell?

  I made an intro song for you. Can we play that?

• 0:53Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 0:54Duncan Trussell?

  I think everyone knows who you are, just in case.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:57Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we got two songs to play, actually.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Professor Zhang is from China. When he was just a little boy, he moved to Canada with his family.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  It is. It's very accurate.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  And now he teaches Chinese children in China.

• 1:25Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  And owns a very famous YouTube channel. A dad at a kid's party I attended said that I should be careful because Professor Zhang works for the CCP.

• 1:45Kurt Metzger?

  Someone said, "That's you?"

• 1:47Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  Who cares if he works for the California Highway Patrol? The dad said, "That's not funny." It means the Chinese Communist Party.

• 2:08Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, a lot of experimental electronic.

• 2:13Kurt Metzger?

  Now, where's the furry part fit in? That's what I didn't, uh, just internet in general.

• 2:17Duncan Trussell?

  It always spices up a video to put furries in it.

• 2:21Kurt Metzger?

  That's true.

• 2:22Duncan Trussell?

  Like, if you ever need content for a video. And we heard you. People have been complaining about us using AI. And so, I'm a little bit. And so, I made this song myself. And as you can see, it's infinitely better. Infinitely better than AI.

• 2:36Kurt Metzger?

  The only AI we use is Asian Indians. And we've said that from the start.

• 2:40Duncan Trussell?

  From the beginning.

• 2:41Kurt Metzger?

  Some Fiverr, H1B visa type.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  That was such a moving tribute. Thank you so much, Duncan.

• 2:45Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you for being on the show.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  It almost brought me to tears.

• 2:49Kurt Metzger?

  This, who told you, because, okay, let's say that Professor Zhang here, because you've heard the charges, Professor Zhang is working for the CCP.

• 2:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:56Kurt Metzger?

  What exactly would that, would happen as a result of that to me?

• 3:00Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know. He was solemn about it.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Well, I'll tell you my secret mission, okay?

• 3:04Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  I am on a secret mission to destroy America once and for all by teaching Americans how to think for themselves. Why don't you guys wake up and see the truth? This American democracy will be destroyed forever.

• 3:20Duncan Trussell?

  What's the truth?

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Um, well, the truth is, um, first of all.

• 3:26Kurt Metzger?

  Why are you putting up Chinese Communist Party? We've heard of the Chinese Communist Party. It's not.

• 3:33Kurt Metzger?

  You just look up random words that are said. Okay, wait. Uh, sorry, go ahead.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Um, uh, yeah, the, the truth is that, um, first of all, you guys eat and drink poison. Did you know that?

• 3:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:48Duncan Trussell?

  Excuse me?

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, like, you know, Argentina sent beef to China. And China was like, "This stuff is poisonous, man. It's tainted beef. There are chemicals in here that will, like, you know, make, make people die."

• 4:03Kurt Metzger?

  You're telling me China now has a higher safety?

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then Trump's like, "We want this, man. Yeah. Yeah. This is good enough for Americans, right? You could, America's what you're in anything."

• 4:14Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on. Is this from when, um, Malay, the chainsaw guy, when his brilliant thing didn't work out? And so, Trump bailed him out?

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:21Kurt Metzger?

  And Scott Besant runs the hedge fund with the Soros boy?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Twenty billion dollars. Yeah, that's right.

• 4:26Kurt Metzger?

  And so, it just, it fucked up the American beef industry, where really, we don't need one anymore. So, I'm not, that's just to breed red heifers for the end times? So, we don't need them.

• 4:34Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 4:34Kurt Metzger?

  But, uh, they destroyed the American beef industry. I tried to tell this to people that I know who all acted like, because, oh, I should tell Ryan Long at the time. Because I couldn't believe what a backstab it was. And he's like, "No, Malay's thing, it doesn't, it's not a..." I can't remember how he put it, like, it was a good expense. Like, why is there any expense at all? What do I give a fuck about Argentina working out?

• 4:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:53Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know he was in Habad, though, at the time.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  He, he is in Habad. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

• 4:57Kurt Metzger?

  All the Habad Lubavichers, uh, seem to hook each other up.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:00Duncan Trussell?

  Holy shit.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  That's right. They rule the world, man.

• 5:03Kurt Metzger?

  You tell your Habad friends that, Duncan?

• 5:05Duncan Trussell?

  What do you eat?

• 5:06Kurt Metzger?

  And I will blow your spot up.

• 5:07Duncan Trussell?

  What do you eat when you come here?

• 5:09Speaker 02

  We, so like, um.

• 5:11Kurt Metzger?

  Street noodles.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  So, we're, we're here in the United States because I want my kid to experience America and become fat. You, you met my kid, right?

• 5:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  He's, he is tiny, man.

• 5:22Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, I wouldn't say tiny. He seems healthy.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Well, he's skinny. And I'm like, you know, like, that's not good.

• 5:28Kurt Metzger?

  Get a big scoop of poison, don't get him up there.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  We, we've been, we've been gorge on hamburgers every single day. And we just love it, man. Yeah.

• 5:36Kurt Metzger?

  Well, burger ain't gonna do it. You need the, the carbs and you need the, what else would you say, Duncan?

• 5:40Duncan Trussell?

  What, for what?

• 5:41Kurt Metzger?

  To fatten up quick.

• 5:42Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, you need, uh, carbs? You need, uh, you know, sugar?

• 5:49Kurt Metzger?

  Slow your metabolism down?

• 5:49Duncan Trussell?

  God, sugar.

• 5:50Kurt Metzger?

  Red Bull, you need Red Bull.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  We were at a Dan's Burg hamburgers before this.

• 5:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  And we ordered a hamburger and he just gobbled it down. And he loves his stuff. Yeah.

• 5:59Kurt Metzger?

  Where'd you get it from, though? Because there, there's some, they're like crap food that I'll be like, "Oh, I kind of want that." And then, I would say Austin, though, a lot, like, they have, like, kind of better versions of fast food crap that people, you know.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, wait, wait. There are seriously people in this world who actually Google fat Americans?

• 6:14Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, no, that is, uh, I believe it's a Chinese guy who came before you and got fat.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Okay, all right.

• 6:21Kurt Metzger?

  Chow Fat American is his name, I believe.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Fat Americans and look for pictures online. Because there are no fat Americans around you, right? Yeah, that's interesting.

• 6:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it's hard to find. Well, because of COVID, you don't want to make contact with the fat Americans.

• 6:34Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, you know what? This is a perfect time for me to say, if you don't want to gain weight and you want to enjoy a delicious drink, Diet Coke. Healthy. Wouldn't you agree if all the American products is the healthiest?

• 6:46Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 6:46Kurt Metzger?

  I've heard it's good.

• 6:47Duncan Trussell?

  No side effects. It's fantastic.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  And also Liquid Death, man. Liquid Death.

• 6:51Duncan Trussell?

  Really good.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. You can't go wrong with Liquid Death and Diet Coke at the same time.

• 6:55Kurt Metzger?

  Listen, some people, like, uh, uh, you know, pieces, demonic people.

• 7:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 7:01Kurt Metzger?

  Like Candace Owens is gonna tell you, uh, Diet Coke's not good for you.

• 7:03Duncan Trussell?

  She does not say that.

• 7:05Kurt Metzger?

  It's the kind of thing she would say. I'm not saying she said it.

• 7:08Duncan Trussell?

  Everything else she said.

• 7:09Kurt Metzger?

  But, um, because Tanner, I want you to please play this beautiful tribute that, uh, was, uh, last, uh, last week's host, uh, guy, Gish Piercing, uh, made for Andrew Wilson. You familiar with the Wilson Debate School?

• 7:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, of cour-, I mean, no.

• 7:27Duncan Trussell?

  Never heard of it.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Come completely unprepared and, like, interrupt the other guy constantly and, like, yeah, constantly shake your.

• 7:35Kurt Metzger?

  Why would I pay to learn that? Can't I just say I won, even if I lose, without paying you?

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:40Duncan Trussell?

  He doesn't really have a debate school.

• 7:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, the key to winning a debate, by the way, and a lot, for a lot of people that are untrained, is on paying the person who lost the debate $300,000.

• 7:52Kurt Metzger?

  It goes, it goes called a winner. Okay, any way you slice it, that's a winner. Okay, so.

• 7:57Duncan Trussell?

  Prof-, oh, wait, are you playing it?

• 7:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 8:00Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, cool.

• 8:00Kurt Metzger?

  People made a big deal about his foot shaking, okay? But he explained that it's a, a family trait called the Wilson Shake.

• 8:08Duncan Trussell?

  Are you joking? No.

• 8:09Kurt Metzger?

  No, I am not joking. Because, uh, Gish Piercing sampled him saying it for this amazing song.

• 8:14Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, my God, I can't wait.

• 8:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. The Wilson Shake. He says his father had it and he had it.

• 8:20Duncan Trussell?

  Do you know about the shake? Did you watch the debate?

• 8:21Speaker 02

  I, I, well, he sent me the video.

• 8:23Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  And like, yeah, yeah. And I, I'm, I'm trying to, like, copy it, you know, while I'm here as well. Yeah, exactly.

• 8:30Kurt Metzger?

  That's how they do you out there in China.

• 8:32Duncan Trussell?

  You have to do it when we, if, if our conversation gets heated.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 8:35Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I've been making a joke in my act for, like, the last two years about that stupid fake Chinese spy balloon that their plans are floated balloon over here so they could take pictures and laugh at how fat and queer our kids are.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  And, and, and, and like.

• 8:46Kurt Metzger?

  Is that, I was the joke I've been making. And he just came and said it. Here, you're crazy, that is.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  You know, they could just use the internet, you know? I mean, like, so.

• 8:53Kurt Metzger?

  But you gotta see it in person. It's like, yeah, I could see a fucking panda bear. Uh, look, I could see a dog dressed as a panda bear on the internet, but I want to see it up close.

• 9:05Kurt Metzger?

  So the Andrew Wilson debate, by the way, again, incredible because the, last week, we talked about it uh, uh, with Bicon.

• 9:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 9:14Kurt Metzger?

  But, but, um, why, why are they doing this? Like, what is, why is she the focus of?

• 9:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's a good question for the professor.

• 9:22Kurt Metzger?

  Why do you think Candace is the focus of this? That was just strange. Well, you saw the debate, besides, it sucks. Like, what did you think of it?

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, the debate really sucked and, uh, I mean, it, it did. I mean, I mean, the guy came completely unprepared and like, honestly, um, you couldn't script it better for Candace Owens, right? Cause like, she asked a question like, what are the charges? There are seven charges. What, what are the charges? And the guy didn't not even know what the charges were. And that went viral and-

• 9:50Kurt Metzger?

  It's even worse than, he pushed her. He goes, she goes, do you know any of the charges? He goes, yeah, murder, I assume. And it was not. And it's, and he keeps saying this is not a big deal, but it is if you're a prosecutor-

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is.

• 10:02Kurt Metzger?

  It's a separate charge called aggravated-

• 10:04Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 10:05Kurt Metzger?

  Murder, which means they can bring the death penalty.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 10:07Kurt Metzger?

  If it was murder, there might not be a death penalty. So that's a thing that you would think you would have to acknowledge, but you don't. And that's the key to great debating.

• 10:15Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 10:15Kurt Metzger?

  You don't have to acknowledge that fact.

• 10:16Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 10:17Kurt Metzger?

  You'd be like, oh, whatever. Like, it isn't possible to win against that. How are you gonna win against that? Wait, is it up yet or no? I'm fired up to see this amazing Andrew Wilson. I didn't know how great he was. I'd heard of him.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  I've never heard of this guy before.

• 10:33Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know, his wife promised their daughter to a, a griper, it's called, a donkey, a griper?

• 10:38Duncan Trussell?

  I've heard, you mean, uh, Nick Fuentes? Isn't that Nick Fuentes?

• 10:41Kurt Metzger?

  Right. And then the guy that, so they, so then that guy started blackmailing, uh, A- Andrew Wilson. The guy that his wife via internet set their daughter up with-

• 10:51Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 10:51Kurt Metzger?

  To be married and like a trad cattle ceremony. Um, that guy threatened, that guy threatened Andrew Wilson and said, if you do some debate with Nick Fuentes, Nick Fuentes is my king. If you do the debate, I'm gonna release, I guess, nudes of his daughter or something. I'm gonna do fuck-

• 11:06Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 11:07Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know any of this. And by the way, I don't understand what, as I say, it sounds fucking batshit.

• 11:11Duncan Trussell?

  Batshit.

• 11:12Kurt Metzger?

  And that's really the key to hiding shit is like, if you're trying to explain it to people, they're like, what are you talking?

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:19Kurt Metzger?

  Anyway, Andrew Wilson, that's how good of a debater is that this guy tried to blackmail him to make him not debate Nick Fuentes because of his amazing skills?

• 11:28Duncan Trussell?

  He saved Nick Fuentes.

• 11:29Kurt Metzger?

  So I understand why he's under attack. And I just want to point out again, they were in the mothership green room and I talked to his wife in the green room.

• 11:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 11:36Kurt Metzger?

  Now, maybe she's just lying, but I didn't, didn't seem like she was to me, but she knew about every fucking conspiracy thing I've ever talked about.

• 11:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 11:44Kurt Metzger?

  She knew about all of them and some things I, I didn't know. Where I was like, wow, she seems to know a lot about this stuff. I was kind of impressed with her knowledge of it.

• 11:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 11:53Kurt Metzger?

  So if you know what I know, how the fuck are you even having a debate like this unless you got paid off? Well, look, I just paid my life savings, uh, so that I can, uh, I don't know, have a tickle fight with some, uh, loser from-

• 12:06Speaker 02

  It wasn't his money, though.

• 12:07Kurt Metzger?

  Why? Now, now you're being crazy. Now it's a CCP conspiracy. Let's watch this mo- okay, let's watch this amazing, cause I, I think this is one of the best, uh, uh, I don't know, a lot of, the guy who there's a lot of great things about, this dance is one of the best.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  By the way, that's called the Wilson Shake.

• 12:32Kurt Metzger?

  Somebody put that voice up.

• 12:40Kurt Metzger?

  He's good, dude. That's like, he's here, son.

• 13:15Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, I was, great job. That's why you, that's why you did it.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  I'm supposed to open the pickle jar? Literally slippery.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  I can't grip the fucker.

• 13:36Duncan Trussell?

  That was so good. That's amazing.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  And you know what?

• 13:39Kurt Metzger?

  The guy's great, the song's great, what could you do?

• 13:41Duncan Trussell?

  I can't wear this. I'm sorry.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  So like, what, what we need after this is a deep fake porn of like Candace Owens and Andrew Wilson together.

• 13:49Kurt Metzger?

  I'll wear a hoodie on that one.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no. Oh, my God. Okay, please don't show us. Yeah.

• 13:56Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, well, just to wrap up that, what, that guy said, I mean, now that, I don't care, but do you work for the CCP?

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Um, dude, if I were working for the CCP, I'd be interning at, in Congress and sucking someone's dick right now. I wouldn't be talking to you guys.

• 14:14Duncan Trussell?

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• 17:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:47Duncan Trussell?

  How do you apply for a job?

• 17:48Kurt Metzger?

  You'd be getting close to Mitch McConnell's wife, I assume.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Is he still alive?

• 17:53Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, no one knows.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:56Duncan Trussell?

  McConnell? Oh, did you guys see that video of McConnell sitting still during, like, can you guys pull up Mitch McConnell sitting completely still for five hours?

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's brain freeze.

• 18:08Kurt Metzger?

  That's just a sign of great leadership.

• 18:09Duncan Trussell?

  No, not that one. He, it's like, it's like a, a time lapse of him. Yeah, the motionless senate footage. Can you pull this up? It is Weekend at Bernie's shit. He's just sitting there not moving for hour, I think it was hours. See if you could find that. Yeah, six hours. Watch this shit.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, when I watched this for six hours, yeah?

• 18:28Duncan Trussell?

  No, well, I think they time lapsed it.

• 18:30Speaker 05

  Same thing I saw throughout this is that for a six hour stretch, Mitch McConnell was just that, just looking like that, sitting like that. He, he had one conversation somewhere.

• 18:44Kurt Metzger?

  Who's that guy beside him?

• 18:44Speaker 05

  But, um,

• 18:45Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I've seen this before with Diane Feinstein.

• 18:48Speaker 05

  It's just Mitch and his, like, his aide, his helper. I know, I've seen that guy push the, um, the wheelchair for Mitch before. But he, for six hours here, he's just sat. I don't know why. He doesn't need any, like, toilet break or-

• 19:03Duncan Trussell?

  See that? He just six hours.

• 19:05Kurt Metzger?

  Cause he has a diaper, dude.

• 19:07Duncan Trussell?

  Well, yeah, he, that guy just-

• 19:08Kurt Metzger?

  Say 1,000 years old.

• 19:09Duncan Trussell?

  Called diapers.

• 19:11Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, here's a better question. Why is there all these geriatrics in our fucking Congress still? And who do they represent? Like, missiles? Like, who the fuck does Lindsey Graham? Who did he represent?

• 19:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 19:20Kurt Metzger?

  Two people?

• 19:21Duncan Trussell?

  Professor, why are there all these geriatrics in our government?

• 19:25Speaker 02

  Because, uh, the baby boomers ruled the United States, right? Cause baby boomers are the wealthiest, um, demographic. They, they are the most, uh, they're the most people. And they're most likely to, to vote. Yeah, the, the baby boomers. Yeah.

• 19:43Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's fu- that's really cool. So he is alive. You know he's alive if he watches the mystery boys.

• 19:48Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, actually, he's fine.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:50Duncan Trussell?

  For a second, I thought he was really sick. Look at that. He's okay. He's enjoying the show.

• 19:54Kurt Metzger?

  Is he there trying to figure out if the Ellison boy has eyebrows? Like, oh, that's that. I know what episode he's watching.

• 20:02Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we gotta watch out for the CCP and luckily we've got the Ellison family.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 20:06Kurt Metzger?

  Got the Ellison family to make sure, number one, we keep up with China.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:10Kurt Metzger?

  The enemy that we should never, so I assume that means we're getting healthcare any minute now.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  We'll protect you guys from China, man. Hey, so I was in a Waymo coming here.

• 20:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 20:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  And like, um, goodbye to like millions of jobs, man. Like all those Uber drivers, they're gone. Like in five years' time, just gone.

• 20:29Duncan Trussell?

  Gone.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. And, um, hey, so I have this good idea for, um, Google.

• 20:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Like, like how, like what they can do to bring up, bring up the robot revolution and not have anyone protest.

• 20:39Duncan Trussell?

  How?

• 20:40Speaker 02

  Okay, are you guys ready for this?

• 20:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 20:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Okay. Sex robots Waymo.

• 20:46Duncan Trussell?

  Holy shit!

• 20:48Kurt Metzger?

  Well, are you gonna say parts from my current act on the show? I tell people I jerk off in Waymos as a whole joke.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Dude, dude, no, you're in a Waymo and you're getting fucked at the same time.

• 20:57Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck yes!

• 20:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, bring it, man!

• 21:00Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I look right into the camera.

• 21:02Duncan Trussell?

  Combine these two important things, sex and travel.

• 21:05Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I mean, it's a joke, but it's not really a joke.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  It's not, why would it be a joke?

• 21:09Kurt Metzger?

  No, what I say, I wear a Kanye West Super Bowl swastika shirt, a cowboy hat, no pants, pair of on clouds. I put a foot on each headrest in the back, uh, you know, just wearing my ankles for earrings. And then I look right in the dash cam at the ch- man looking at me.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:25Kurt Metzger?

  And then I go, I show them what they're up against.

• 21:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but you're still, and I think that's beautiful and a very patriotic act.

• 21:30Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, it is.

• 21:31Duncan Trussell?

  But you're still pleasuring yourself. What the professor is proposing is, I'm assuming some kind of flashlights in there? Are you saying like, like, I wanna know what the interior of one of these sexual Waymos you're envisioning looks like?

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Okay, so you go into Waymo, right? And it's, it's like, like the body of a woman, right?

• 21:51Duncan Trussell?

  Shaped like a woman, the Waymo.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, right, and you're in there, and like the vagina is right in front of you, you know?

• 21:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  And like.

• 21:57Kurt Metzger?

  Ew!

• 21:58Duncan Trussell?

  What, some people like women.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Dude, have you never had sex?

• 22:02Kurt Metzger?

  Not, I, I, I mean, I'm not a face virgin, but I...

• 22:08Speaker 02

  You know?

• 22:09Duncan Trussell?

  So keep go, please. So you, the Waymo, the, or the door is like, tell me about the door. You go into the Waymo, I'm, what is the, what does it feel like when you open the door?

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, look, look, look, look, you, you, do you see? Exactly, man. You go inside, you know? And you got these boobs and you got this giant in front of you. And you just stick it in there and like, you know? And, and like they time it perfectly so like, they figure out how long the ride is and like, you know? You just ejaculate when you get to the spot.

• 22:39Duncan Trussell?

  Love it.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  You're in paradise, man.

• 22:40Kurt Metzger?

  That is the name of a song that we are going to make now.

• 22:43Duncan Trussell?

  You mean it kinda edges you out until you get to your death?

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, and like, and also like, the be, the, also there's aroma inside the car. So when you get inside the car, you know, you're.

• 22:54Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Craig's gonna smell like a chick, too.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, it, it, it's like you're sitting beside Kirk, you know, like, you know, you're just breathing in all, all this like.

• 23:01Kurt Metzger?

  I bet, we fuck mad pussy, okay? And it's gross and I do it.

• 23:06Duncan Trussell?

  Who's "we"?

• 23:07Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, uh, on the war boat, uh, you know.

• 23:10Duncan Trussell?

  I thought you were pluralizing yourself.

• 23:13Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, but a lot of times women are, have told me I should.

• 23:16Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, on our boat, yeah, we bang.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  Oh, look, there you go, exactly, exactly. Here you go.

• 23:21Duncan Trussell?

  Watch me have Waymo org, orgasms in the self-driving.

• 23:24Kurt Metzger?

  They got my email again.

• 23:25Duncan Trussell?

  Christine Stevens, a futuristic backseat encounter. What the fuck?

• 23:30Kurt Metzger?

  Well, oh, she sat on the shifter or something, come on. Grow up.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  So I'm, I'm gonna swear my like, I, for sure, someone jacked off here, for sure, man.

• 23:40Duncan Trussell?

  I never did.

• 23:41Kurt Metzger?

  Look, what's the number one thing, uh, uh, the number one problem with jerking off in an Uber?

• 23:46Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 23:46Kurt Metzger?

  That's right, the driver.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  That's right, that's right, exactly.

• 23:49Kurt Metzger?

  You're right.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Exactly!

• 23:49Kurt Metzger?

  Great answer, the driver.

• 23:52Kurt Metzger?

  So now China has gifted us.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  That's right, that's right. So I'm gonna go back to China and say, this, this is how we conquered the United States, man. Sex robot Waymo. It's done, you guys are finished, man.

• 24:03Kurt Metzger?

  Well, with the spy balloon, that's what I, cuz I genuinely, I'm like, is America retarded medically? Cuz if I was gonna conquer retarded people, I would first send a big balloon in the sky, little, for shock and awe.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 24:17Duncan Trussell?

  That's your plan to conquer retarded people?

• 24:20Kurt Metzger?

  No, America.

• 24:22Kurt Metzger?

  That's not my plan, his buddy, the CCP's plan.

• 24:26Duncan Trussell?

  It's a sad assignment to be sent to conquer retarded people.

• 24:30Kurt Metzger?

  They're just, they're, they're only coming here, yo.

• 24:32Duncan Trussell?

  That means you're not the best general.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:34Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, they won, they Sun Tzu won the shit already. It's just now they've coming to take pictures of how fat and gay all are.

• 24:41Duncan Trussell?

  So when, when did you start working for the CCP?

• 24:44Kurt Metzger?

  They won't hire me, I keep applying and they're like, "Oh, you don't know how to speak Mandarin and you, oh."

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Look, look, look, I'll put in a good word for you, okay? I'll go back and say, curse her guy.

• 24:54Duncan Trussell?

  What about me?

• 24:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, don't worry. Well, we'll, we'll, we'll just start the list.

• 25:00Kurt Metzger?

  They said they didn't want my, my primitive, uh, animal-like penis there. Is that a racist, honestly?

• 25:06Duncan Trussell?

  You really think that's the problem?

• 25:07Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I know, cuz that's what I read in plain broken English.

• 25:10Duncan Trussell?

  I've heard that.

• 25:11Kurt Metzger?

  With the L's and R's switched around.

• 25:15Duncan Trussell?

  That is weird that because of your penis, you can't go to China. I've always felt sorry for you about that.

• 25:20Kurt Metzger?

  Um, it is another title of a song, so don't forget.

• 25:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, okay.

• 25:23Kurt Metzger?

  Because my penis, I can't go to China.

• 25:26Duncan Trussell?

  Cuz I know you love China, you love China.

• 25:28Kurt Metzger?

  I went to China.

• 25:29Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, but why, and that was where they, so you, you're, they saw your penis and they're like, you gotta.

• 25:33Kurt Metzger?

  I'm sorry, what is, go back, what is this, Tanner? This is an ancient British hillside giant with a real masculine vibe getting, he's getting a makeover.

• 25:43Duncan Trussell?

  Why are they giving him a makeover?

• 25:44Kurt Metzger?

  What's, oh, it's from CBC Radio.

• 25:46Duncan Trussell?

  Is that a crop circle?

• 25:47Kurt Metzger?

  So what's the makeover? He already, he's already circumcised.

• 25:50Duncan Trussell?

  The worst crop circle you can get.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  CBC Radio is Communist Broadcasting Corporation, by the way.

• 25:55Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, shit, shots fire, CBC.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:59Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I would say China from me going to China, there, and then going to Canada. China's less communist than Canada.

• 26:06Duncan Trussell?

  That is for sure.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Communist, man.

• 26:08Duncan Trussell?

  That is for sure.

• 26:09Kurt Metzger?

  It's less, it's like better healthcare and less hot communist.

• 26:12Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 26:13Kurt Metzger?

  Unreal. Do they have them flying cars? This is a part that really bothers me is the flying cars thing of, uh, where the article came out? And I'm like, are you shitting me? Like, Communist China is gonna have flying, the thing that we, well, now I don't complain cuz I jerk off in Waymos or something better.

• 26:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, right, right.

• 26:29Kurt Metzger?

  So I'm not worried about that, but.

• 26:30Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you've never jerked off in a flying car.

• 26:33Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I've never joined the mile. Did you like, I wonder if Katy Perry and them, when they went in that space Waymo to, uh, from Amazon?

• 26:41Duncan Trussell?

  Of course they did. Professor.

• 26:43Kurt Metzger?

  Cuz they weren't driving, them bitches' hands were free.

• 26:45Duncan Trussell?

  Professor, forgive my vulgar co-host. I have to ask you.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:50Duncan Trussell?

  Are drugs still legal in Canada? Because when I went there to do stand-up, somebody brought me a, a legal file of Ellison.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Everyone's on drugs in Canada.

• 26:58Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's different, though. China, a lot of cool drugs aren't legal there.

• 27:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:02Duncan Trussell?

  So drugs are illegal in China?

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Drugs are illegal in China, yeah, that's right.

• 27:05Duncan Trussell?

  All of them?

• 27:06Speaker 02

  All of them, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

• 27:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, what was available when I went there, this is in 20, this is before Trump got elected, so 2015? Um, there's a bunch of people that always wore masks, like, like a COVID mask from back from the bird flu days, I guess.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:22Kurt Metzger?

  And then it looked like Blade Runner kinda of the cities, cuz it was like a New York-sized city all next to each other I went to for this tour.

• 27:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 27:28Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, I was like, oh, this is like the future, and it was the future.

• 27:33Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 27:34Kurt Metzger?

  There's some people that always are gonna wear masks like China, but our future ain't gonna be as good as fucking China, which I, he doesn't seem to enjoy, uh.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's China with bad healthcare.

• 27:45Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah!

• 27:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:47Kurt Metzger?

  Well, dude, we're going into, uh, South Korea land, and I know people think South Korea is amazing. I want you to understand, it's just North Korea with lights. That's all South Koreans.

• 27:58Kurt Metzger?

  They don't, the, go look at the suicide rates of terrible North Korea versus South Korea, and you'll be surprised to learn, South Korea is much higher. Now, why is that? Oh, because they have the exact same system, except theirs is like Samsung and some other fu- Dotson or a charge or something?

• 28:13Duncan Trussell?

  Look, I don't, I don't, I don't mean to be a debunker here, man, but if I'm gonna guess the reason you're gonna get higher suicide rates in South Korea is cuz, how do you report suicide in North Korea? I don't think they're gonna publish suicides in North Korea, right?

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, but South Korea also has like the lowest fertility rate in the world.

• 28:32Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:33Kurt Metzger?

  The future.

• 28:34Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I got you.

• 28:35Kurt Metzger?

  Remember Cloud Atlas where they showed Tom Hanks as a South Korean clone escaping for two seconds? Remember that shit?

• 28:41Duncan Trussell?

  Wow. The adult, average adult male data, average erect penile length, I actually predict, I did this study.

• 28:49Kurt Metzger?

  So this, I'm not allowed in their country.

• 28:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I did this study when I was in college. I had to measure Korean penises for a semester.

• 28:54Kurt Metzger?

  They said if I wanna come into their country with my dick, I have to buy two seatbelts for the airplane seat, and I refuse.

• 29:01Duncan Trussell?

  It's crazy, your cock is keeping you from so many wonderful countries.

• 29:05Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna pay the phantom cock tax that, that these countries try to inflict on a, on a, a champion astronaut and judges. I, oh, how do you respond to, to the charges that you're not a professor, Professor Shay?

• 29:17Speaker 02

  Um, I'm not a professor? Yeah, I'm not a professor. Yeah.

• 29:23Duncan Trussell?

  That's great.

• 29:25Kurt Metzger?

  Because I saw three people like, he's not a professor. And I'm like.

• 29:29Speaker 02

  What's he, I mean, like, yeah, I'm not a professor.

• 29:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I am an astronaut and a judge. I would hope that's clear.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 29:37Kurt Metzger?

  I wouldn't lie about something like that.

• 29:38Duncan Trussell?

  I'm a doctor.

• 29:39Kurt Metzger?

  You know, a lot of people say, don't go to astronaut program and law school to become a judge. Like, first of all, most people can't even achieve either of those things on their own. So it's a lot to take on, but I did it.

• 29:50Duncan Trussell?

  Can I ask a serious question for the professor? What do you think? You've, your predictions are so scary and so accurate. You freak everybody out. We can, I have cold sweats when I watch your videos. It freaks me out. What do you think about all of these, like, tech companies saying, we're in the singularity?

• 30:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 30:11Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think about that?

• 30:12Speaker 02

  So, um, I think the, um, ambition is to, um, create the Antichrist system. And so imagine a world, the United States, where everyone has a tattoo, which identifies you. It's, it's a tattoo and there's a microchip in your brain.

• 30:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  So rather than the iPhone, right? The iPhone becomes part of your, your brain.

• 30:34Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  So that's a system they, they want to move, move towards.

• 30:37Duncan Trussell?

  Are you Christian?

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Um, I'm not Christian, but, but, but, but I love Jesus.

• 30:42Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, there you go. But you, you think the book of Revelation though is like, I, I agree with you. Like, it's kind of creepily accurate when you, when you look at that and then look at where technology is going. Some identification.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  Digital ID.

• 30:56Duncan Trussell?

  Probably not a tattoo, probably a chip, right? Like, we already.

• 30:58Kurt Metzger?

  They don't know how to put a chip in, you know, dude, it, it, listen, it already happened. The whole thing happened already. That's where you live in now.

• 31:03Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 31:04Kurt Metzger?

  Now it's consolidating the companies down because they, uh, just think of like that. I, I still think of North Korea getting nukes and how much we had to stop that. And we didn't stop it, remember? And we even sent Seth Rogen and James Franco in a movie to kill Kim Jong.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 31:20Kurt Metzger?

  And, um, and, and then there was a fake hack that wasn't from North Korea, but they said it was about that Sony lady's fucking pussy bleach she bought. Okay. And, uh, and then they got, and I mean that we, the way we have to stop Iran from getting a nuke. We stopped them and then they got a nuke. And then I don't remember a single other thing about it after that.

• 31:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 31:40Kurt Metzger?

  It's all a little blank.

• 31:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 31:42Kurt Metzger?

  And then when I came to, we didn't know if women had dicks or not. So you see how they've mass rolled out the fucking program? They don't need a chip.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:50Kurt Metzger?

  You don't need a computer. You just need a good house of cards and, and a constant trauma, like a, um, jump scare movie.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:57Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  But, um, but the thing is to implement the system, uh, as Kirk point out, points out, you have to burn down this system. So you need like civil war, you need, um.

• 32:06Kurt Metzger?

  Good luck with these fat gay fucks.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:10Kurt Metzger?

  All these fat queens, they ain't going to no fucking wars. They can barely pick up a ninja sword, like a real weeb.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  You need a civil war, you need a national draft, uh, you, you, you need to burn down the system. And then the other thing that's gonna happen very quickly is, uh, the AI bubble burst.

• 32:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  And then the national government, the federal government comes in and nationalizes the data centers. Yeah, there you go, right? Yeah. So now these data centers become military, military installations. They have eminent domains. We can't complain about the water, the electricity.

• 32:42Kurt Metzger?

  Which they already have now, by the way. People can run out of their shit now as if they lived in communist China.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  Well, no, see, but the thing is like, once they nationalize the data centers, they can now socialize the losses and privatize the gains. Right? It's the taxpayers who, who now have to pay for the data centers.

• 32:58Kurt Metzger?

  That was our album.

• 32:59Duncan Trussell?

  That kind of already happened with TikTok, right? That kind of happened with TikTok.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:02Duncan Trussell?

  We bought TikTok. It's like.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  There you go. Look, look, New York Times, man. You can always search New York Times, man.

• 33:08Duncan Trussell?

  Trump administration is repurposing federal land for AI.

• 33:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, we can now that we know the IDF has gotten more of a, of a foothold into it, as with most of our, uh, news. Uh, I just watched a CBS, amazing Barry Weissrod on CBS, much better by the way, where the late, uh, this reporter Stone's how flock cameras. How like, if you got nothing to hide, you don't gotta worry about a flock camera. That's why it's really bad to be against flock cameras.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 33:31Kurt Metzger?

  There's nothing eerie about it.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  And also China, man. If you're against flock cameras.

• 33:34Kurt Metzger?

  How are we gonna keep up with China?

• 33:35Speaker 02

  You're communist, you're, you're for China.

• 33:37Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, if you're against flock, you're Chi-?

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause like, cause if you stop AI.

• 33:42Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  China will become the AI superpower. And then it will destroy.

• 33:46Kurt Metzger?

  You want them to be, you want them to win?

• 33:48Duncan Trussell?

  No, I don't want them to win. I want to win.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Exactly, man.

• 33:50Kurt Metzger?

  You think Diet Coke wants you to want that?

• 33:52Duncan Trussell?

  You love flock or you're not, which, which am I supposed to do?

• 33:55Speaker 02

  You're supposed to love flock.

• 33:56Duncan Trussell?

  I love flock.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 33:57Kurt Metzger?

  If you want to represent the Coca-Cola product company.

• 34:00Duncan Trussell?

  Diet Coke loves flock. Are you kidding?

• 34:02Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 34:02Kurt Metzger?

  And not because they're paying you, but for those altruistic Andrew Wilson reasons, for believable Andrew Wilson reasons.

• 34:10Duncan Trussell?

  And also, you know, I'm sure you know about this. They, you know, the technology that's coming is, they can use wifi to see people inside of houses.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:19Duncan Trussell?

  And the flock drones. So it's basically, there will be no more privacy. And I think that.

• 34:24Kurt Metzger?

  There isn't now.

• 34:25Duncan Trussell?

  Altman, can you pull up Sam?

• 34:26Kurt Metzger?

  I can't even jerk off in a Waymo alone.

• 34:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah, you, can you pull up Sam Altman saying there will, the future will be no more privacy?

• 34:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I want to watch him jerk off, so I hope he's right.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  Dude, he doesn't jerk off.

• 34:39Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, instead of burning shit, look, if you want to.

• 34:42Duncan Trussell?

  I do, I think you're right.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  He kills people, man.

• 34:45Duncan Trussell?

  That doesn't mean you don't jerk off.

• 34:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's, uh, was, that's the only way to achieve an erection. Not saying that I've heard, that's a thing, but.

• 34:51Duncan Trussell?

  Play this real quick. We don't have to play it actually. I could do it. Hey, you'll have no freedom, you'll have no agency, there'll be a perfect surveillance state.

• 35:00Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, keep going, keep going.

• 35:04Speaker 06

  You're gonna get great, but you will have, there will be nothing, nothing really do, nothing that really matters, so just kind of live in the.

• 35:13Kurt Metzger?

  Well, what about victimizing and then cannibalizing children? Obviously that pastime will be around.

• 35:17Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you won't be able to do that privately.

• 35:18Kurt Metzger?

  I'm in the Epstein files.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  You've already mentioned this a million times, yes.

• 35:27Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I have, because I, you all don't know who the fuck you're talking to.

• 35:31Duncan Trussell?

  I'm so proud of being in the Epstein files.

• 35:32Kurt Metzger?

  Epstein class.

• 35:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:34Duncan Trussell?

  So, but, but, um.

• 35:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yolo Kobe Tate.

• 35:38Duncan Trussell?

  But wouldn't you say China is like, I guess you were already making the point, we're kind of the same. But China's already a surveillance state.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  It, it is. Uh, and honestly, I thought China was the ultimate surveillance state. I come over here, it's much worse, man.

• 35:54Kurt Metzger?

  Your China has a better surveillance state.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, the United States has a much more thorough surveillance state. I come to the United States and you have these Waymos, you have these flock cameras, they're not there. Uh, Ch- Ch- China doesn't have those yet. Also, like your iPhone, dude, I can't even use my, like, um, alarm clock without selling my soul. It, it, it's the most ridiculous thing, like, you know, you turn on the alarm clock, it's like, you know, you wanna wake up at seven o'clock, it's like, oh, you have to sell us your soul first, like, fuck you, man.

• 36:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I got bad news for you. We cover, um, a pa- well, past but future episode of Misery Boys. Liquid Death, uh, they did something where you're selling your soul to have liquid.

• 36:27Duncan Trussell?

  They did do a ritual on the, no joke, they did some kind of bizarre.

• 36:31Kurt Metzger?

  Why would you do that?

• 36:32Duncan Trussell?

  Ritual into the water.

• 36:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and then they stopped selling whatever the good water was they were selling, because they went to a cheaper, cheaper, worse form of water.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 36:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, see, look, it's a satirical marketing campaign that lets you join there. Anyway, the, so.

• 36:47Kurt Metzger?

  This is a devil country. Um, wait.

• 36:49Duncan Trussell?

  I want to get back to the Antichrist system though, because that.

• 36:52Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, but Duncan, hold on, hold on, we're gonna get, this will go right to that, because before we started filming. Cause you were talking about Habard Lubaba vickers to, uh, Danny Jones.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:02Kurt Metzger?

  Cause I contend Habard is kind of a Moonies kind of intel organization.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Yep, yep.

• 37:07Kurt Metzger?

  Like an anti-communist, that's why we like this cult, that's why, uh, CIA would pick cults to win and lose in the cult. Just like they do with companies, because we're a fucking crazy feudal nightmare place. So, so, uh, uh, uh, they pick these Habard and, and when you were on my other podcast, you were talking about the same thing Nathaniel Smart Chain was talking about, these body hopper people.

• 37:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 37:33Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, Rabbi Schneersen, the, the Messiah, one of the Messiah, I guess, in, uh, that Habard horseshit. Just how in the Moonies, the one guy is the successor to the Christ.

• 37:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, sure.

• 37:45Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, there's some weird body hopping thing. You were telling Danny Jones a great story about Mark Zuckerberg. But then you told me outside that, um, oh, when, when Laura, are you familiar with, um, Larry Lumer?

• 37:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, you mean Laura Lumer?

• 37:59Speaker 02

  No, Larry Lumer.

• 38:00Kurt Metzger?

  Larry Lumer.

• 38:01Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 38:03Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, sometimes people mispronounce it Laura Lumer. It was like Osama bin Laden, Usama.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:08Kurt Metzger?

  Remember there'd be like a U or an O? Yeah, it's the same, same thing.

• 38:12Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 38:13Kurt Metzger?

  So I just pronounce it correctly, Larry, but you could say Laura too.

• 38:16Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, thanks.

• 38:17Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, she suddenly was, because she, if you recall, this MAGA, uh, Larry is really MAGA, you know, and like, we gotta stop the Ukraine war. Which Trump got right on that, didn't he?

• 38:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 38:27Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh.

• 38:28Duncan Trussell?

  Stopped in a day.

• 38:29Kurt Metzger?

  It would never even happen if he had been there.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 38:32Kurt Metzger?

  So she, uh, uh, this lovely young woman Larry would say, uh, everything anti, and it almost seemed like Russian propaganda. And I guess you could say it was Russian in a way, but you better not, or it'd be antisemitic. Anyway, she fucking suddenly switches to the Ukraine side, because she went to Ukraine and talked to this fucking Habard Rabbi over there. And I, what I didn't finish telling you is, I think that motherfucking guy is the same guy who said, uh, right sector, the Nazi group is cool now. Because this moron Vlad Davidson on my show, they wanted like ambush debate me, a student of Andrew Wilson. You think you're gonna be?

• 39:08Kurt Metzger?

  You think you're gonna beat one of the top students of Andrew Wilson of debating with a surprise debate about how we should keep giving our money to fucking Ukraine? I swear to God.

• 39:18Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 39:19Kurt Metzger?

  His dad's in the Atl- he's from the Atlantic Council or some shit. His dad's some, what was it? Turk- I think it's Kazakhstani fucking gangster, I assume? Cause it said he's a kingmaker when I looked him up.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Why is his surname Davidson?

• 39:31Kurt Metzger?

  David Z. David Zun.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 39:36Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, who the fuck knows? But Atlantic Council, I assume this is some human trafficking mafia ring. Immediately, I assume you're engaged in all the worst parts of soccer.

• 39:46Kurt Metzger?

  Um, anyway, he showed me a picture of him holding up a red and black Ukrainian flag, like Right Sector, that fucking shitty Nazi group, not just Azov. They got a bunch of Nazi groups, Right Sector, and it had a Star of David on it. And I was laughing, like, why are you showing me that? And he goes, "Oh, it's okay. The rabbi said..." And I bet it's that fucking Habad rabbi who made this announcement, that all these Nazi militias are cool now.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  Yep, yep.

• 40:11Kurt Metzger?

  So, if you notice here in America, we got a bunch of like ethnic white state, mano fucking white sphere people that have these like bizarre left turns where they go, "I don't like they Jews, but to say Israel would have tried to kill Charlie Kirk is insane."

• 40:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what the fuck is that?

• 40:29Kurt Metzger?

  And it, well, I, you know, look, you can be sincere and take a total 180-degree turn.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  Dude, dude, it's, you, you, do you know what this is? It's a, it's a Crusades, okay? So, before these Christians went out to kill all these Muslims, the Pope would absolve them of any future crimes.

• 40:44Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  And a lot of these were psychopaths, like serial killers.

• 40:47Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  And Pope says, "Well, well, you know, if you, if you go and go kill Muslims, that will absolve the fact that you've killed children in the past." It's, it's a Crusades.

• 40:56Duncan Trussell?

  You have to kill a Muslim to absolve yourself of killing a child?

• 41:00Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 41:01Kurt Metzger?

  But it works because Andrew Wilson debated Owen Shroyer about this with the, Andrew Wilson took the sober position that there's nothing in the Epstein files to worry about. And, um, it was...

• 41:11Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, hold on, I'm sorry. Real quick, Professor, when, what do you mean? When did the Pope do this absolution?

• 41:17Speaker 02

  So, during the Crusades.

• 41:19Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, the actual Crusades, not recently. Okay, gotcha. Okay, yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  The Pope said that if you go and you kill Muslims,

• 41:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, okay.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  all the crimes that you've committed in the past, we will absolve you of.

• 41:29Kurt Metzger?

  Everyone knows that.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  So, it's possible you eat children, you have sex and eat children, but you go and to like Jerusalem, you kill Muslims?

• 41:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  You're good with God.

• 41:37Kurt Metzger?

  In fact, you could have a, you could eat a few more children if you do that.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, Muslim children.

• 41:41Duncan Trussell?

  You could eat more?

• 41:42Kurt Metzger?

  If you do your duty first.

• 41:45Duncan Trussell?

  I have to do it first, but what if on the way I'm hungry?

• 41:46Kurt Metzger?

  I'll put it in the words of the great Andrew Wilson, defending Trump's first two years in office to Owen Shroyer, another Candace Owens-type demon. He goes, he goes, "Oh, so you're mad about the Iran war? So, you say you're mad about [BLEEP], but what's the problem with going and killing a bunch of [BLEEP] over there?"

• 42:04Duncan Trussell?

  Who the fuck said that?

• 42:06Kurt Metzger?

  Andrew Wilson, the best debater I've ever heard. And I went, and I said, "You know what? That's a great point."

• 42:11Speaker 02

  That is a great point.

• 42:12Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I, I, yeah. Of course you'd want him to go against Candace Owens.

• 42:17Duncan Trussell?

  That's something anyone ever said.

• 42:19Kurt Metzger?

  I, I didn't know the half of it, of how amazing this guy's takes are.

• 42:23Duncan Trussell?

  He's like, "You never know. You're gonna take out a few."

• 42:25Kurt Metzger?

  Of course, he's the guy that you would pick. So, something as important as destroying Candace Owens. Do you realize that Candace Owens, if they fucking destroyed her, no one would ever suspect anything about the Charlie Kirk killing ever again?

• 42:37Duncan Trussell?

  Nope.

• 42:38Kurt Metzger?

  Do you realize that? So, there's only this one bitch standing in the way.

• 42:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 42:42Kurt Metzger?

  Of them nailing a guilty furry who definitely killed Charlie Kirk and no one else.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  He's still guilty.

• 42:48Kurt Metzger?

  And Charlie Kirk, and I want to point out again, is the great Andrew Wilson trickled out, in his words, the evidence, because he released the, the text today. And you could see why he had to trickle it out, because it, it totally affected, it totally made it more believable, instead of less believable that he did that. So, he goes, Charlie Kirk is texting with the amazing security, and I don't want to hear you any, I know you're not doing it now, but I've heard Tanner do it. "Don't attack that security team. Don't harass them like they're bad at their job."

• 43:17Duncan Trussell?

  Charlie Kirk had a great security team.

• 43:19Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, and we at least will concede that point, won't we?

• 43:21Duncan Trussell?

  Top-notch.

• 43:22Kurt Metzger?

  Candace-loving pieces of shit, we can acknowledge it. That's a top-notch.

• 43:27Duncan Trussell?

  Is that with one of his security guards?

• 43:29Kurt Metzger?

  No, that is, uh, Charlie in heaven now, living, living how he is. A real man, because he doesn't have that clone bitch dragging him down. Wait, so...

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 43:41Duncan Trussell?

  Who is that?

• 43:42Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I can't get boned up right now. I have to do a show.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  That's Bonnie Blue.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Why are we talking about Bonnie Blue on this?

• 43:51Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know what's happening.

• 43:52Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, can you not distract with Bonnie Blue?

• 43:54Duncan Trussell?

  Why not go back to Bonnie Blue for a second?

• 43:56Kurt Metzger?

  And Tom Hanks' other kid, while you, while we're trying to fucking have a discussion.

• 43:59Duncan Trussell?

  I thought it was Princess Diana.

• 44:02Kurt Metzger?

  Anyway, uh, that text, Charlie goes, "Hey, remind the security team that they're there for only one person's security, will you?" And he goes, "Oh, we, don't worry. We have spheres of something. We have Rogan spheres of protection around," some shit like that. And then he goes, "Okay, because I'm somewhat worried the left is trying to kill me."

• 44:19Duncan Trussell?

  Somewhat.

• 44:21Kurt Metzger?

  So, that's a pretty high degree. Uh, somewhat is just below overwhelmingly worried.

• 44:25Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 44:25Kurt Metzger?

  Right?

• 44:26Duncan Trussell?

  I can't believe he was just somewhat.

• 44:28Kurt Metzger?

  On the Wilson scale? I don't know where somewhat is.

• 44:31Duncan Trussell?

  Not high enough.

• 44:33Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, wait, who is that? Is that Ugly Betty? I don't watch network television.

• 44:38Duncan Trussell?

  What is that? Why are you pulling that up?

• 44:41Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait.

• 44:41Duncan Trussell?

  Is that Anne Frank?

• 44:42Kurt Metzger?

  But Duncan.

• 44:44Duncan Trussell?

  Take that shit off. You know how I deal with Anne Frank.

• 44:45Kurt Metzger?

  Can you stop with the propaganda for two seconds, Tanner? Oh, oh my God.

• 44:49Duncan Trussell?

  Tanner, are you with the fucking CCP? Why did you put up a picture of Anne Frank? Are you guys all working together or is this something?

• 44:55Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner needs a CCP. Cold cock in the Filipino.

• 44:58Duncan Trussell?

  Listen.

• 45:02Kurt Metzger?

  Cause this is outrageous.

• 45:03Duncan Trussell?

  Let's get...

• 45:04Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, that tweet though, that text that he did.

• 45:05Duncan Trussell?

  How does this connect to the Antichrist system?

• 45:08Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you've...

• 45:08Duncan Trussell?

  Twenty minutes ago,

• 45:10Kurt Metzger?

  You're in it now.

• 45:11Duncan Trussell?

  you said this is gonna connect to the anti-fucking Christ system, and now we're talking about Anne fucking Frank!

• 45:16Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I don't know. My friend at Diet Coke said, "Maybe don't take Diet Coke into the area of the Antichrist," and talk about something else.

• 45:21Duncan Trussell?

  Well, who the fuck would say that? Diet Coke could taste good wherever you are.

• 45:25Kurt Metzger?

  No one has ever debated that. There is no one sitting here that said, "It doesn't taste good wherever you are," and you know that.

• 45:30Duncan Trussell?

  Tastes good wherever you are.

• 45:31Kurt Metzger?

  And that's a dirty fucking debate trap.

• 45:33Duncan Trussell?

  Diet Coke would taste good in hell!

• 45:36Kurt Metzger?

  I would go to hell gladly if I knew there'd be a supply of Diet Coke.

• 45:38Duncan Trussell?

  I would go, I would go to hell for a Diet Coke if I needed one. Well, I guess the professor just has to sit here and listen to two fucking lunatics ramble.

• 45:47Kurt Metzger?

  Well, we were talking about, um...

• 45:48Duncan Trussell?

  Is this torture? Is this your way of attacking?

• 45:51Speaker 02

  I've been on his show twice, man. I, yeah.

• 45:53Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 45:53Duncan Trussell?

  Habad.

• 45:54Kurt Metzger?

  I've questioned him repeatedly, so that's how I know he doesn't want to do this. Yeah.

• 46:02Kurt Metzger?

  And I use the Wilson method. I don't, I go, "Listen, dude, I don't give a shit if you're pregnant. I'm coming to you harsh."

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 46:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, then he would say something, "Oh, that's great. Name seven more." Go ahead. Did anybody tell you the answers?

• 46:18Kurt Metzger?

  Um, boy, what a charming person that Andrew Wilson is. That's the main thing.

• 46:21Duncan Trussell?

  Well, that's the, that is what we'll take away from this episode.

• 46:24Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, so wait, Habad, this is why I wanted to set him up for Habad, because I think they're the ones that okayed that fucking Nazi Azov. It's like they're the good guys now, and they're making, instead of the not, whatever Swazi they have, a Maggi Da Veed on there? Um, what do you, yeah, like, Habad, what have you learned about Habad? Cause you were saying to Danny Jones on his show.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:47Kurt Metzger?

  And Schneerson in particular.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, they, they can show the world, man. Look, if you look at Habad Luwicz, they are influential and connected in the United States, in Ukraine, in Russia, in Israel, and in Argentina. You look at all, where all the major wars are happening, it's all in like Habad, like, areas, right? Russia, Ukraine, uh, Israel, Iran. Also, like, um, during the, um, Ukraine peace talks, Jared Kushner went to, and Steve Lukov went to talk to, um, um, Vladimir Zelensky and Vladimir Putin, and also Larry Fink was part of the talks.

• 47:29Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, he's great.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  It's all about, man.

• 47:32Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 47:34Kurt Metzger?

  Larry Fink's the best. That's the guy who actually came up with DEI and, uh...

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that's right. That's, that's true. Exactly.

• 47:39Kurt Metzger?

  That's Larry Fink. We have wokeness because of Larry Fink, in case you're wondering.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  Uh, Larry Fink?

• 47:46Duncan Trussell?

  Habad.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  Oh, Habad, 200 years.

• 47:48Duncan Trussell?

  And what?

• 47:48Kurt Metzger?

  200 or 20? I didn't hear.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  200, 200 years, yeah.

• 47:51Duncan Trussell?

  What was the, like, what started?

• 47:52Kurt Metzger?

  More like 200 years.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Okay, so, um, the, um, Habad Luwicz is just one of many Hasidic Jew...

• 48:03Speaker 02

  You've got an awful audience back there, by the way. They're always like, thank you.

• 48:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we were just going over that. Thank you for saying it.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:09Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner and Carly, who's there?

• 48:12Duncan Trussell?

  We're getting them reworked.

• 48:13Kurt Metzger?

  And the other Tanners.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  So, so, so you know what?

• 48:15Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  What historic Judaism is, right?

• 48:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Okay, so, um, Habad Lubrich is just one of many family dynasties that belonged to the historic, uh, Judaic tradition. So like these, um, so the, so it's a Sneresen family that runs Habad Lubrich.

• 48:32Duncan Trussell?

  Got it.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  And they basically married, they married cousins. Like, it's all, like, pretty incestuous.

• 48:38Kurt Metzger?

  You like those stupid Arabs do that we always acknowledge.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 48:42Kurt Metzger?

  You know, those dirty mothers, all cousin. Why are they so inbred? Pieces of shit.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. So Habad Lubrich was founded in, uh, Ukraine, the Ukraine, uh, Belarus area.

• 48:56Kurt Metzger?

  It was.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, and they've been there for about 20 years. And they, they were one of the most heavily persecuted, um...

• 49:04Kurt Metzger?

  Why? They seem so cool.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Well...

• 49:06Duncan Trussell?

  Why were they persecuted?

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Well, because, um, you had the, uh, Russia under the czar was pretty anti-Semitic. And then...

• 49:13Kurt Metzger?

  Had he met some Habad Lubavitchers and that's why?

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Probably, yeah. And then you had, um, during the Soviet Union, they were also heavily persecuted. And so, um, what happened was that to survive, Habad Lubavitch became the most messianic, um, group of all the Jews. Right?

• 49:34Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, are they, I guess, that's, really?

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, because they were the most heavily persecuted.

• 49:38Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 49:39Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know they were the most messianic, but that's very interesting.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were the most messianic, yes.

• 49:43Kurt Metzger?

  It's almost hermetic, like a little, you persecute and then it's like, oh, it's the end of the world?

• 49:47Speaker 02

  So, so if you go to Habad Lubavitch's website, they call Rebe Sneresen the seventh and the final rebbe of the Habad Lubavitch movement.

• 49:56Duncan Trussell?

  Whoa.

• 49:56Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 49:57Duncan Trussell?

  So they, it's imminent now?

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Yes. He died in 1994. And if you look, if you look at history, okay? All the shits that's, that's been happening in the Middle East started after his death.

• 50:08Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  And so you can make the argument that the people in Habad Lubavitch, they believe he is the Messiah. And all the wars in the Middle East are to usher in the end time so that he, he comes back as the Messiah of the Jews.

• 50:23Kurt Metzger?

  Cause he's like a Dalai Lama that switches bodies.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  He's the pope, man, yeah.

• 50:27Duncan Trussell?

  So, so basically they're wagging the dog here. They're trying to like make the apocalypse happen to get, get him back.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  And dude, the apocalypse is happening right now.

• 50:36Duncan Trussell?

  Do you think it actually is happening?

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Have you seen the news? You've got this war in the Middle East that is spreading all over the place, okay? Before it was just Israel, United States versus Iran. Now you've got the Houffis involved.

• 50:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Right? You've got Israel attacking Lebanon.

• 50:54Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Turkey's been brought into the war. It's spreading to Egypt. Saudi Arabia's been brought, brought into the war. Now you're seeing the collapse of the global economy. Do you know what's been happening in Japan?

• 51:05Duncan Trussell?

  The, um...

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Okay. So, so Japan has something called...

• 51:09Kurt Metzger?

  Anime is getting more deviant?

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, that's right, yeah.

• 51:12Duncan Trussell?

  No, it's not. Come on, it's Naz. Nothing like a Naz.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  So, uh, in Japan, they do something called the yen carry trade. And it's very simple, so, um, because of deflation, the Bank of Japan lends money to Japanese corporations and banks at 0% interest.

• 51:29Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 51:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it's the Japanese yen carry trade. And then, so what these banks and corporations do is, they take this money and they invest it overseas.

• 51:38Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  At higher interest. So they buy US Treasuries at 5%, right? So they're getting money for 0%, they go buy US, US Treasuries, which is the safest asset in the world, at 5%. So they're making 5%, easy. And because of this, for the past 20 years, Japan has invested 3.5 trillion dollars around the world.

• 51:56Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Most of it actually goes to the United States, so Japan has about 1.1 trillion dollars of US Treasuries. So it's the Japanese who are funding your degenerate lifestyles in America, man.

• 52:08Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, guys.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:09Kurt Metzger?

  And again, we thank the Japanese and we thank Diet Coke and Coca-Cola and all their families.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:13Duncan Trussell?

  A salute to Japan.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  Yes, yes. You guys should have like a statue of Miro in, in here.

• 52:19Duncan Trussell?

  Let's get a Miro statue in here, you guys.

• 52:21Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I've been saying that, but...

• 52:23Duncan Trussell?

  You have.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  So, but, yeah.

• 52:25Duncan Trussell?

  Forget it, dude.

• 52:26Kurt Metzger?

  That's my Trump ballroom, that...

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Right, okay. So, so, uh, the two biggest buyers of US Treasuries are Japan and the Middle East, the GCC.

• 52:38Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Okay? And guess what's happening? The Middle East is being destroyed by this war. They can't steal the oil.

• 52:45Kurt Metzger?

  Well, they're winning.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  What, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 52:47Duncan Trussell?

  Well, the Strait of Hormuz is open.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  It's closed, yeah.

• 52:49Duncan Trussell?

  It's open.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Well, no, okay, it's open.

• 52:51Kurt Metzger?

  Andrew Wilson argued that, argue, okay, I know for a fact.

• 52:55Duncan Trussell?

  It is open.

• 52:56Kurt Metzger?

  That Andrew Wilson argued.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 52:58Kurt Metzger?

  The great Andrew Wilson said it was gonna be cleared up by now, and I know for a fact.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Well, you know, we need some debate between me and Andrew Wilson, okay? So you, you get on the phone.

• 53:06Duncan Trussell?

  That would be amazing.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  And call your master and get him over here.

• 53:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well...

• 53:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, call your little master.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:11Duncan Trussell?

  Call your master, beta boy!

• 53:13Kurt Metzger?

  He's got to crowdfund $300,000 so he can pay for this.

• 53:15Duncan Trussell?

  So proud of being one of his students.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  Dude, I deserve at least a million, man.

• 53:19Kurt Metzger?

  The key to winning a, okay, can I tell you the key to winning a debate? Sun Tzu said this, pay your opponent $300,000 in American dollars.

• 53:24Duncan Trussell?

  That is from the art of war.

• 53:26Kurt Metzger?

  Put it in escrow.

• 53:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. That's how you win.

• 53:29Kurt Metzger?

  Then no matter what happens, you're the winner. Yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:32Duncan Trussell?

  So, okay, so, I mean, you've, you've...

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Okay, so, yeah, you guys are screwed, okay? Cause like the two biggest funders of your, like, degenerate lifestyle are the Middle East and Japan.

• 53:43Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, guys.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  And right now, because of your stupid little war in Iran, they no longer have any money, so they have to be patriots.

• 53:50Kurt Metzger?

  Give them one stupid thing about them.

• 53:52Duncan Trussell?

  No, for real, I think this is the one place I disagree with you.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, go ahead, man.

• 53:56Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I mean, come on, do you want Iran to have a nuclear bomb?

• 54:02Kurt Metzger?

  Do you? Tanner? That's a fair question.

• 54:05Duncan Trussell?

  Is that what you want, professor?

• 54:07Kurt Metzger?

  I know Carly wants that, cause she's, she says it with her face. With the look she gives, oh, I would love if Iran was atomic suddenly.

• 54:15Duncan Trussell?

  That's how you get a Kaiju, a Gajira! Comes rising out of the Strait of Hormuz.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  You win, okay?

• 54:23Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, I appreciate it. You're a humble professor.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  You know, you, you channeled Sun Tzu and you brought up nuclear weapons. And I always went to debate, so you're absolutely right, you know?

• 54:33Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's terrifying, cause Iran has a nuclear weapon.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  That's right, so, so you're absolutely right.

• 54:36Kurt Metzger?

  That's the Wilson method, at work.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  But, but that doesn't negate the fact that the US economy is completely screwed. Because the US stock market, especially the AI, it's a, it's a Ponzi scheme, right? So you got, you need more and more people to put money in the US stock market.

• 54:53Kurt Metzger?

  Like Mr. Free Boy Coin?

• 54:54Speaker 02

  A lot of this money is coming from the GCC and from Japan.

• 54:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  They can't put their money in here, so then you have the, uh, economy collapse because a bubble's burst.

• 55:04Duncan Trussell?

  So what is your, this is something on the way here, I was wondering.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  And then you have the Antichrist come.

• 55:09Duncan Trussell?

  Well, don't point at me when you say that.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Okay, no, why was I talking about me?

• 55:11Kurt Metzger?

  There's not one Antichrist, by the way. There's not one Antichrist.

• 55:14Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, here we go.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a, it's a system, it's a system.

• 55:17Kurt Metzger?

  I'm just telling you what it says. First of all, he goes, "There will be Antichrists with an S among you, which means anything in place of Christ." So...

• 55:26Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 55:28Kurt Metzger?

  It's not a thing that's coming, you've been, you, you live in it. You've been living in it out of the gate. When they founded America, you lived in it, motherfucker? What is everybody talking about?

• 55:37Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck? When you founded America, you what?

• 55:40Kurt Metzger?

  You were living in an Antichrist. If it's in place of Christ...

• 55:43Duncan Trussell?

  I'm a 35th degree.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 55:46Duncan Trussell?

  Did you know that? They added two extra degrees for me.

• 55:48Kurt Metzger?

  The enigmatic order of the Diet Cokes.

• 55:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's the, anyway, I can't reveal the secrets, but...

• 55:54Kurt Metzger?

  A hole's a hole.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  Wha, wha, what is this?

• 55:57Duncan Trussell?

  Shut the fuck up, are you seriously gonna do that?

• 55:59Kurt Metzger?

  We all know.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  Wha, wha, no, no, no, wha, what is this?

• 56:03Duncan Trussell?

  Children, it is the last hour and just as you've...

• 56:05Kurt Metzger?

  That is a strange translation of that.

• 56:07Duncan Trussell?

  So how many Antichrists, so now many Antichrists have...

• 56:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, who translated that? Cause that's not how that normally is written and that's certainly not how the...

• 56:13Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it does say Antichrist plural. Isn't that what you're fishing for?

• 56:18Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, okay, yeah, it did say it plural.

• 56:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, "Dear children, this is the last hour, and as you've heard, the Antichrist is coming, even now many Antichrists have come. This is how we know it's the last hour, now please go to bed."

• 56:29Kurt Metzger?

  That's still translated strange. Put all English translations, please.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Oh, it was right there. I mean, I don't know if you were looking at the thing then, but okay. There you go, right there. John 218.

• 56:40Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta ask you, professor, why do you think, I mean, I marvel at this stuff. That that long ago.

• 56:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:47Duncan Trussell?

  Somehow, and I don't know if this is just me projecting meaning onto something that's archaic. It doesn't, I don't feel like it is.

• 56:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:55Duncan Trussell?

  But what's your theory on how thousands of years ago, with pretty, pretty great accuracy, they laid out a map for what was coming?

• 57:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, I mean, there are two explanations, okay? The first explanation is the Bible is a source code for Western civilization. So the ideas of the Bible are embedded in the air you breathe in Western civilization. People think in terms of biblical prophecy. That's one explanation.

• 57:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Another explanation is that people who engage in a cult, people who engage in deep religious practice, they have insight into the deepest secrets of human history. You know, human history stretched back tens of thousands of years. If you looked, if you just look at human history from a very broad perspective, there are cycles. And what we're experiencing is an empire in decline.

• 58:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  And an empire in decline tends to have certain patterns to it. And including trying to create the antichrist system, including starting wars overseas, including economic collapse and global famine. So everything that we're experiencing now, people experience when the Roman Empire collapsed.

• 58:20Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 58:21Speaker 02

  And when, before that, when the Babylon Empire collapsed.

• 58:24Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  Right? So this is a recurring pattern. When empires collapse, it usually leads to mass trauma.

• 58:30Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 58:31Kurt Metzger?

  A loss in internet service as well.

• 58:33Duncan Trussell?

  That's never gonna happen.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  That's the worst thing, man.

• 58:34Duncan Trussell?

  That it will not happen.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, Starling, Starling.

• 58:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 58:37Kurt Metzger?

  Here's from, as a guy who grew up in a doomsday, in a doomsday cult.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:43Kurt Metzger?

  Um, and, and I get this from Gary Wayne because, and, and because he does good research in this kind of Bible shit. But this is the thing I said before I was watching him. Um, Armageddon's summer stock to these people, you understand, it's the Shakespeare. Oh, how did the thing come true that you wrote in a script?

• 59:00Speaker 02

  They're so happy about what's happening. Yeah, people in Israel, yeah.

• 59:04Kurt Metzger?

  Right. And so Gary Wayne though points this out because if you're gonna go by what it said in there, you, these assholes don't get to decide when the end is. So yeah, there've been many, many things where people said, this is definitely the end.

• 59:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 59:17Kurt Metzger?

  But that's because if you wanna believe that what's in the script, they don't get to say when the end is, even though they want it all the time. It's very hard, and I agree with that, that breathing, that's why I call like the principalities is like, the air you breathe, the like memetic air you breathe, the fuck. And, and because it really, if you live in, in a certain country, a lot of that just built into you.

• 59:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 59:40Kurt Metzger?

  To, to naturally like certain music.

• 59:42Speaker 02

  Yep, yep.

• 59:43Kurt Metzger?

  Right? And naturally get certain concepts that are bizarre to somebody in another country that doesn't have them.

• 59:48Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 59:49Kurt Metzger?

  So they wanna, they think they can win the fight, which if you grew up, as I did that day, it's like, oh, why would you think that? First of all, and it's a big pyramid scheme. It's a big multi-level marketing scheme at the end of the day. They're in the upline, and I've heard them use those terminology of upline and shit to talk about it.

• 1:00:07Duncan Trussell?

  What does that mean, upline?

• 1:00:08Kurt Metzger?

  You ever did Amway, the American way?

• 1:00:10Duncan Trussell?

  No, I never did.

• 1:00:11Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you, oh, you should. You could do, we'll have a meeting about it later, but.

• 1:00:14Duncan Trussell?

  Really? I'd love to get involved.

• 1:00:15Kurt Metzger?

  It is a great way to make money and not, and work for yourself for once.

• 1:00:20Duncan Trussell?

  Sounds good.

• 1:00:21Kurt Metzger?

  Go into business for yourself.

• 1:00:22Duncan Trussell?

  What do you do? I, I could always use more money. I have so many kids. What do you do?

• 1:00:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I had a friend when I was in high school go, hey Kurt, I want you to come over to my house here. I'm having for a business meeting and I need you, and you should wear something nice, like my church clothes, I guess. And we were both idiots. And I was like, does he want me to suck his dick?

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, there you go.

• 1:00:41Kurt Metzger?

  Put on a lobster bib, go, come to my house. Um, and it was Amway. I swear to God, a guy in an all-white suit and a white.

• 1:00:48Duncan Trussell?

  No way.

• 1:00:48Kurt Metzger?

  And a white fedora, dude.

• 1:00:50Duncan Trussell?

  No way.

• 1:00:51Kurt Metzger?

  And a suit with a, like a vest, giving a presentation to people from my church. Because Joe's Witness is already geared towards.

• 1:00:59Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:01:00Kurt Metzger?

  I wouldn't say Joe's Witness is MLM because there's not like sales goals you have to hit.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:06Kurt Metzger?

  But you are, it, it is like a, MLM is like a weird perversion of if you were spreading the good news. It's like a weird.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  It's a religion, man.

• 1:01:15Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and, and that's, they, the quest for all these people has been to take Jesus out of the thing. Cause Jesus, and I didn't see the, I saw the title of one of your videos, but I didn't see the actual speech, but Jesus is a problem for empire.

• 1:01:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:01:29Kurt Metzger?

  He does not compatible with an American empire or any kind of ethno-state.

• 1:01:33Duncan Trussell?

  War, it doesn't work well with war.

• 1:01:36Kurt Metzger?

  Especially on war. So you gotta find weird lizard reasons to make it okay to keep it going.

• 1:01:41Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:01:41Kurt Metzger?

  And clearly they're trying to make the end happen right now.

• 1:01:45Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Kurt Metzger?

  But like I said, that ain't up to them. I mean, if you're gonna go by that lore that they're going by, it's not up to them. In their own fucking shit, it's not up to them.

• 1:01:53Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:01:53Kurt Metzger?

  So I don't understand the thought process, but people, you know, there's people think Andrew Wilson is not a charming man and a good debater.

• 1:01:59Duncan Trussell?

  I don't, I can't believe that.

• 1:02:02Kurt Metzger?

  I try to get my head around it, but I give up because that guy.

• 1:02:04Duncan Trussell?

  It's a sign of the, of the disintegration.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  That's so crazy, man.

• 1:02:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  So crazy.

• 1:02:08Kurt Metzger?

  It is, it doesn't make sense.

• 1:02:09Duncan Trussell?

  Professor, earlier you said, and maybe you were joking, but I hope you're not, you have a plan for world peace.

• 1:02:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:17Duncan Trussell?

  What is it?

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  The, my plan is this, okay? Stop attacking Iran and start inventing Canada.

• 1:02:25Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I've been.

• 1:02:26Duncan Trussell?

  Really? Ah, do you want Canada to have a nuclear bomb?

• 1:02:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Canada has some dark principalities in defense of it that you don't even know about it.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, did you see that?

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  The Canadians, the Canadians.

• 1:02:39Duncan Trussell?

  Now we're on to something real.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  The Canadians.

• 1:02:42Kurt Metzger?

  Every time we're having a nice show, having some drinks, things get knocked over mysteriously.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  Yes. Yes, the source of all evil in this world are the Canadians. So let's just go.

• 1:02:51Kurt Metzger?

  They're more communist than China. In fact, they have like, yeah, it's bizarre. China, dude, we were smoking in the mall and shit when I went there. My friend, those guys stormed.

• 1:03:02Duncan Trussell?

  It's a great place you can smoke in the malls.

• 1:03:03Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, fucking ruled it. You could take a shit in the mall. Dude, this guy's Storm shoe. The comedians are pretty good. Like, cause they all got VPN comedy, so they all understood. What I said pretty good, man, they understood your sense of humor, like you could, it translated to people that spoke English that were at the shows.

• 1:03:21Duncan Trussell?

  So you're saying, I'm sorry, keep going Kurt, I'm sorry, god damn it.

• 1:03:24Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:03:25Duncan Trussell?

  I was just, I wanna emphasize with something you said.

• 1:03:27Kurt Metzger?

  But Storm, we went to go eat. It was hot. And I didn't have any not, everything, the only Chinese food I had was hot pot. It was the only time I ate Chinese food. Everything was like.

• 1:03:36Duncan Trussell?

  What's hot pot?

• 1:03:37Kurt Metzger?

  It's pretty fun. You dip stuff in this fried oil.

• 1:03:40Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, that's fun.

• 1:03:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, take a really.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  Oh, there it is. Yeah, hot pot. There it is.

• 1:03:43Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, hell yeah. That was good.

• 1:03:44Kurt Metzger?

  Very popular.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we couldn't find parking.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  It's a yin yang.

• 1:03:47Kurt Metzger?

  I swear this is true.

• 1:03:49Speaker 02

  It's a yin yang. Yeah, it's, it's, it's the, it's the expression of Chinese philosophy and cooking, man.

• 1:03:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I want that.

• 1:03:58Kurt Metzger?

  The oil makes you, I mean, I wasn't able to eat a lot, but I, I was like probably being really, you're supposed to like devour, but I'm like, dude, the oil fills me up. Anyway, we couldn't park and he parked at this building. It was like these lower stairs to the building. He just parked his car diagonally on the stairs. And I was like, hey Storm, I don't think we could do this, can you? He goes, no, it's fine. It's, it's after six, the cops went home.

• 1:04:20Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  Did you know the Canadians are trying to blackout the United States right now?

• 1:04:26Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I heard that.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  It's an act of war.

• 1:04:27Duncan Trussell?

  I heard that. We're in a trade war.

• 1:04:29Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I think you meant with porno. They're trying to black our.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. Canadians have said that they're gonna cut off the electricity to the United States.

• 1:04:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, they did say that.

• 1:04:37Kurt Metzger?

  Did we farm out our electricity to Canada?

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:41Kurt Metzger?

  Shit.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  That's an act of war, man.

• 1:04:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's an act of war.

• 1:04:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Oh, boy, what has shamed his brother's legacy, his brother that we all liked.

• 1:04:50Duncan Trussell?

  Can we look up?

• 1:04:50Kurt Metzger?

  His brother Tommy Boyford.

• 1:04:52Duncan Trussell?

  Does Canada have nukes?

• 1:04:53Kurt Metzger?

  Of course it does.

• 1:04:54Duncan Trussell?

  They do. Can we look that up?

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  Canada has something much, much worse.

• 1:04:59Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Which is passive-aggressive behavior.

• 1:05:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:02Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, did you see?

• 1:05:03Duncan Trussell?

  They don't. Hey, it's not too late. It's not too late. They don't have nukes. Do you want Canada to have fucking nukes? I don't.

• 1:05:10Kurt Metzger?

  Do you think they're close?

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  Absolutely, man.

• 1:05:13Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:14Duncan Trussell?

  Within months?

• 1:05:15Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, that's why we need Greenland. That's why I keep telling people.

• 1:05:18Duncan Trussell?

  We gotta fucking take Greenland and Canada right now.

• 1:05:20Kurt Metzger?

  Because how are we gonna keep them from getting a nuke?

• 1:05:21Duncan Trussell?

  President Trump, if you're watching this, I know you watch the show, we gotta fucking go in there now.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  Oh, no, oh, no, oh my God. Canada is ready for you guys.

• 1:05:30Duncan Trussell?

  To beat a Canadian opponent, in physical self-defense, you must utilize standard martial arts.

• 1:05:35Kurt Metzger?

  You'll die following that bullshit.

• 1:05:37Duncan Trussell?

  What is this? Targeting high vulnerability, such as the groin, liver, chin, and solar plexus? Is this true? Is this how you beat a Canadian?

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  No, you have to be really polite to be the Canadian.

• 1:05:48Kurt Metzger?

  You're being a little bit rude.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  It's a war of politeness. It's a test to see who can say sorry the most.

• 1:05:53Kurt Metzger?

  You gotta say it right. Don't say it like a jerk off.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't be sarcastic when you say sorry.

• 1:06:00Kurt Metzger?

  Like you're feeling sore and then ee.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Kurt Metzger?

  Like ee.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, you've gotta, yeah.

• 1:06:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait, I'm gonna go take a quick shit and, uh, cuz I wanna call, Big Homie CC's calling in too, Professor Zhang. If you thought this wasn't one of the biggest mystery boys ever, guess what?

• 1:06:17Duncan Trussell?

  You're wrong.

• 1:06:17Kurt Metzger?

  Because I wanna talk about two things I know everyone's not talking about.

• 1:06:22Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:06:22Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, uh, clavicular?

• 1:06:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:06:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, no one's talking about him. We do need to talk about him.

• 1:06:29Kurt Metzger?

  Because the new, uh, June, the King doc came out about him, which is great.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  Did you know he was Peter Thiel's, uh?

• 1:06:35Kurt Metzger?

  Blood boy?

• 1:06:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, he told me that. He's a blood boy. Blood bag. What do you call them? Blood bags? Blood boys?

• 1:06:40Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, Hans Kim plays, Jimmy Dore's playing, uh, Jeff Boyardee, the billionaire in my show, The Cutout, that's coming out very soon.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  The guy's like, um, Peter Thiel's Barbie doll.

• 1:06:51Duncan Trussell?

  I never knew that, but that's amazing.

• 1:06:53Kurt Metzger?

  And so nobody knows.

• 1:06:55Duncan Trussell?

  But they suck their blood, right?

• 1:06:56Kurt Metzger?

  Cuz you're an adult with kids, right?

• 1:06:57Duncan Trussell?

  That's the idea. It's like he's draining his blood.

• 1:06:59Kurt Metzger?

  They run it, supposedly it doesn't work, but why are they doing it? Um, anyway, there's a doc about him that came out and also.

• 1:07:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 1:07:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, EDP 445? Do you know about EDP 445, Duncan?

• 1:07:11Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:07:12Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god, cuz I sent you the doc and I sent.

• 1:07:14Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't watch it. I'm sorry. We've been watching the Lindsay Clancy trial and I didn't get to it.

• 1:07:18Kurt Metzger?

  The what? Oh, that fucking who gives a shit thing? Oh, guess what? I'm gonna say she's innocent cuz who gives a fuck? Why is everybody getting in on that?

• 1:07:27Duncan Trussell?

  Well, because. I'll tell you why. The reason people are interested is somehow the prosecutors are so wretched that they have made a woman who murdered her three children with exercise bans seem like a hero. And that is the craziest shit of all time.

• 1:07:42Kurt Metzger?

  They should've got Andrew Wilson to do it because then maybe you get the outcome you want.

• 1:07:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:48Kurt Metzger?

  So, the only thing I've heard about was like, she was like, had brain damage from jumping out a window and when she came through, her husband told her she murdered the kids?

• 1:07:55Duncan Trussell?

  Well, no, she strangled her children with exercise bans.

• 1:07:58Kurt Metzger?

  But how do we know that?

• 1:08:00Duncan Trussell?

  Cuz she fucking said so. She strangled them with exercise bands and while strangling them said, "Go to God. Go to God." And these prosecutors are so bad.

• 1:08:09Kurt Metzger?

  She said that out loud?

• 1:08:10Duncan Trussell?

  Well, according to her.

• 1:08:13Kurt Metzger?

  But why'd she do that?

• 1:08:14Duncan Trussell?

  Because, uh, she was on a shit ton of psychiatric meds and, you know.

• 1:08:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, well, this is more important than this. I understand why you had to watch it because I'm sick.

• 1:08:23Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't wanna talk about this. I'm just apologizing for not watching your thing.

• 1:08:26Kurt Metzger?

  Our pharmaceutical, uh, industry has been attacked for too long with this shit.

• 1:08:28Duncan Trussell?

  And I, yeah, that's for sure.

• 1:08:29Kurt Metzger?

  Cuz you know, oh, hey, people start gambling for no reason or they become like homosexual from heterosexual.

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  Or they ship schools for no reason.

• 1:08:37Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, them pills everybody's on, if you don't think you've been warped by them in ways that you can't imagine, well, sit there and watch his trial like a genius at that yard.

• 1:08:45Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, the cocktail of drugs that she was on is so insane and the different psychiatrists talking about onboarding. We decided to onboard Vexacapar and then we needed to reduce the Darzan dosage by two milligrams and up.

• 1:09:01Kurt Metzger?

  Are you serious?

• 1:09:02Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, it is so insane and the whole time, her husband's going into the psychiatrist with her saying, "She's a zombie now." She's saying, "I need to get off these drugs." And they're just like, "Okay, well, why don't we just onboard Zoloft and lower the semantics by four degrees?" It's like crazy.

• 1:09:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so all these dumb, sexy shit that I see on YouTube that are like, they're making videos judging somebody else not involved about if they think that she did it or not now. But none of you saw this fucking psychiatric drug thing and think, drugs that we know, if you take them, if you're a fucking, and you're lost if you do, I don't know how you're gonna ever get off of it. You should've done crack instead. It would be, Hunter Biden's doing better than you mentally. If you take them pills, stupid.

• 1:09:44Speaker 02

  Exactly, man. Yeah.

• 1:09:45Kurt Metzger?

  A lot of people's parents, a lot of people's parents put them on that shit since they were kids. So you're a kind of mutant now and your brain don't work.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  You were with him recently on, yeah, exactly, man.

• 1:09:55Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:56Kurt Metzger?

  Hunter's cool in this chick. Anyway.

• 1:09:58Duncan Trussell?

  Well, that's, I mean, she killed three kids.

• 1:10:00Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it's not like she married her brother's widow.

• 1:10:03Duncan Trussell?

  Not a high bar.

• 1:10:04Kurt Metzger?

  Not like she suddenly married her brother's widow after, you know, she killed three kids. Significantly different.

• 1:10:09Duncan Trussell?

  That's true.

• 1:10:10Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, so the drug thing, you know it makes impulsive behavior. Our friend Brody, who took his own life, who was saying the same things that you're talking about right now.

• 1:10:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, they were changing his dose too, apparently, when it happened.

• 1:10:24Kurt Metzger?

  So the point is, get on the drugs early and stay on them. Don't change your dose.

• 1:10:28Duncan Trussell?

  Don't get off them.

• 1:10:29Kurt Metzger?

  You know what's great to watch down my drugs, Duncan? A refreshing Diet Coke, which now, we don't have the studies yet, but so far encouraging results say it makes, it kind of mitigates side effects.

• 1:10:40Duncan Trussell?

  Listen to this. That's the sound of America, baby. And maybe you don't like it.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  Freedom, man!

• 1:10:45Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, why don't you take that to Mr. Dingwing's thing?

• 1:10:48Speaker 02

  Freedom! I hate it, man.

• 1:10:50Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. This is EDP.

• 1:10:52Duncan Trussell?

  That's making your ears bleed.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  That's like a cross move, man.

• 1:10:55Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait. Show them EDP. So this documentary by Mike Clum is one of the best. Netflix will never make a documentary as good as this one. And this guy, EDP, was a guy who would like, he was like a kind of funny fatso online, I guess, that would talk about the Eagles. And he was like dirty. And you know, this is the years when we had, uh, Seth Rogen comedies. I think, when he was big. Somebody liked him and he is entertaining. But turns out, then he gets caught on, online by a fucking DIY pet hunter. You know in America, does China have roving bands of local guys who become online pet hunters? That know my friend Big Jay?

• 1:11:36Duncan Trussell?

  What? That's a good question.

• 1:11:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, there's no way to describe. So Big Homie CC is well familiar with it. So this guy, dude, I'm gonna tell you, if you haven't seen this documentary.

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:48Kurt Metzger?

  I don't, look, you got, you have to see it. Netflix will never, because the guy's black, they're never gonna make this documentary, just the way Chris Chan. You brought the singularity, when we merge with our technology and your blah blah. That's Chris Chan is the singularity. It happened already. See that thing? Okay, that's before he switched over. Hey, you wanna talk about an inversion of Jesus Christ? You know, Christ born of a virgin? Uh, Chris Chan, who says Jesus, by the way, uh, his elderly Alzheimer's mother, the exact inversion of being born by a virgin. So there's, behold the singularity. Uh, we don't have time to get into him, but, I mean, almost nobody knows about him.

• 1:12:26Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know how it's possible. He's the most trolled human who ever lived. The most nailed to a cross fucking autistic freak that ever lived. That is the singularity and everything now has crossed this benchmark of this thing. So now go back to EDP 40. So when you see how, so nobody knew how depraved this fucker is. But the guy who made the documentary, it get, dude, it gets, I, it's like The Matrix, like you, you have to see it.

• 1:12:53Duncan Trussell?

  We talked to him.

• 1:12:54Kurt Metzger?

  No, that, oh my god, dude, that was Big Homie. We didn't talk to him.

• 1:12:58Duncan Trussell?

  Oh.

• 1:13:02Kurt Metzger?

  I wanted to get him, but we couldn't. We wasn't able to get, that's Big Homie. Now look.

• 1:13:08Duncan Trussell?

  That's such a relief.

• 1:13:09Kurt Metzger?

  And people at Diet Coke know that Duncan didn't mean nothing by that.

• 1:13:13Duncan Trussell?

  By what?

• 1:13:14Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, the, the racial, uh.

• 1:13:16Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, don't get woke on me now.

• 1:13:18Kurt Metzger?

  Diet Coke.

• 1:13:19Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, here we go.

• 1:13:19Kurt Metzger?

  Diet Coke, don't get woke. That's what we do.

• 1:13:21Duncan Trussell?

  Why don't you do a land acknowledgement?

• 1:13:23Kurt Metzger?

  What land? Well, I like to do that so we can rub it in their face. This is the, you know, the unceded territory of the, uh, Comanche or something, uh, which we stole. And they are never getting it back.

• 1:13:42Kurt Metzger?

  You know what I mean, though? Like you get, like you guys get it. It's not like, I'm trying to do an acknowledgement. I'm just acknowledging the situation. Like, it's not.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  I mean, you guys need a Jeep after them. I mean, is that enough? I mean, what more do you need?

• 1:13:58Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, you know, Professor Zhang, would someone from the CCP make a point that great? I don't think so.

• 1:14:03Duncan Trussell?

  Hell, no.

• 1:14:04Kurt Metzger?

  Well, thank you.

• 1:14:05Duncan Trussell?

  Hell, no. No one from the CCP ever made a point like that.

• 1:14:07Kurt Metzger?

  Thank you. I just, you know what?

• 1:14:07Speaker 02

  It's just English, you know?

• 1:14:09Kurt Metzger?

  A Chinese professor just taught me the meaning of Thanksgiving.

• 1:14:12Speaker 02

  Exactly. Exactly.

• 1:14:16Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:14:17Speaker 02

  I'm here to educate.

• 1:14:17Kurt Metzger?

  Let me pee and then we'll get, uh, Big Homie on.

• 1:14:19Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, great. I have to pee too.

• 1:14:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, okay. I mean shit. Wait, let's do it again cuz we never say we pee. We only say we're shitting.

• 1:14:25Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:26Kurt Metzger?

  Listen, we have to take a quick shit.

• 1:14:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:28Kurt Metzger?

  We'll be right back.

• 1:14:29Duncan Trussell?

  Let's go. I gotta shit.

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  This is guts.

• 1:14:40Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my god, breaking news, Dolly Parton's dead.

• 1:14:47Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, did you hear Dolly Parton's dead?

• 1:14:51Duncan Trussell?

  Hello? Did you hear Dolly Parton's dead?

• 1:14:54Speaker 06

  Yes, sir, yes, sir.

• 1:14:55Duncan Trussell?

  Did you hear Dolly Parton died?

• 1:14:57Speaker 06

  I just seen it come through on my Twitter feed.

• 1:15:00Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my god.

• 1:15:01Speaker 06

  How old, she's in her eighties, right?

• 1:15:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, she was old. Wow.

• 1:15:08Duncan Trussell?

  Sad day. Pull up, can you guys pull up Dolly Parton's boobs? Wow, I had no idea that there was actually pictures of her breasts. Wow. Dude, Dolly Parton died.

• 1:15:23Kurt Metzger?

  I know, John just texted me.

• 1:15:24Duncan Trussell?

  Look at this. Professor, Dolly Parton died.

• 1:15:28Speaker 02

  Oh no.

• 1:15:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:30Speaker 02

  She was so coffee too.

• 1:15:32Kurt Metzger?

  Was she?

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:34Duncan Trussell?

  Well, she was eighty.

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:15:37Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, eighty, you could, uh...

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

  Do you think she was still having sex? Was she getting...

• 1:15:41Duncan Trussell?

  I'm trying to...

• 1:15:42Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, um, she would be if I was there.

• 1:15:44Duncan Trussell?

  No, of course, any of us.

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:15:47Duncan Trussell?

  Every single man in, in America, or China for that matter, would make love to Dolly Parton.

• 1:15:52Kurt Metzger?

  Because just to say you did it, now, as you know, I find... Really? Because I find the female body repulsive, but to be not gay, you have to do it.

• 1:16:00Duncan Trussell?

  Many people love the female body.

• 1:16:03Kurt Metzger?

  They're called gay.

• 1:16:06Kurt Metzger?

  If you want to be a man, you want to get on the warboat, the Mystery Boys warboat, okay?

• 1:16:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, well, yeah.

• 1:16:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Oh, we're back from a great shit.

• 1:16:15Duncan Trussell?

  That was a wonderful shit. I've been eating fiber and that was incredible.

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  Hey, hey, hey, your restrooms are not transgender.

• 1:16:23Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, this isn't my spot.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  Look, I feel violated.

• 1:16:25Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean they're not? Why do you say that? They're not transgender. Because of the signs we made? That, don't pay attention to that. Hey, uh, this is unprecedented, because not only do we have Professor Zhang on his final stop of the America tour, uh, we got, uh, Mystery Boys' friend of the show, Big Homie CC, who gave us Epstein's possible number to call.

• 1:16:42Duncan Trussell?

  What's up?

• 1:16:43Kurt Metzger?

  You know, Epstein didn't answer that time, but we'll call him again. And, uh, homie, Big Homie, you're in, um, Kenya now?

• 1:16:49Speaker 06

  Mada.

• 1:16:52Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so...

• 1:16:56Kurt Metzger?

  Um, do you know, are you familiar with Professor Zhang?

• 1:17:01Kurt Metzger?

  Are you familiar with Big Homie, Professor Zhang?

• 1:17:02Speaker 02

  No, I'm not.

• 1:17:03Duncan Trussell?

  He's gotta put his cans on.

• 1:17:04Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you don't gotta put, yeah.

• 1:17:06Speaker 06

  I'm here, I'm here.

• 1:17:07Kurt Metzger?

  So, uh, he's a, he finds people down, he used to be a body, uh, like a bodyguard for celebrities.

• 1:17:11Speaker 02

  Oh, right, yeah, yeah, that's right.

• 1:17:14Kurt Metzger?

  And I liked watching him because he's one of the few people that said, uh, the P. Diddy thing, you're never gonna see them, because he mentioned Comey's daughter is the prosecutor.

• 1:17:23Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:17:23Kurt Metzger?

  James Comey's daughter.

• 1:17:24Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:17:25Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, uh, what's her name, Maureen or something?

• 1:17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, Maureen, that's right, yes.

• 1:17:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, so the fix is in, and so it's gonna be, because she presided over the Ghislaine Maxwell trial.

• 1:17:34Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:34Kurt Metzger?

  And her job was to make sure you didn't find out any of the real shit, so they could go... Epstein's where they push it too far, the dipshit Republicans, I would say, because they got the nerve to go, oh, it turned out it was just trafficking to himself, and that's plausible.

• 1:17:47Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:17:47Kurt Metzger?

  And that's one spot where I disagree with Andrew Wilson, but he's so charming, he sometimes sways me, but I still think now there's more to it. Even though Andrew Wilson makes a compelling case, not to pay attention to of it, to it, you know?

• 1:17:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, are you doubting your master right now?

• 1:18:01Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what's going on?

• 1:18:02Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I've become the master quite some time ago, as an astronaut and judge. I think he's only a master, gunsmith, and sniper.

• 1:18:10Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 1:18:10Kurt Metzger?

  And not even in the field like I was.

• 1:18:12Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 1:18:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:18:13Duncan Trussell?

  Got it.

• 1:18:14Kurt Metzger?

  So, now, you know, now The Apprentice has become the master, that's just the normal...

• 1:18:17Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, congratulations.

• 1:18:18Kurt Metzger?

  But you got a soft spot in your heart for your early teachers.

• 1:18:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, you do.

• 1:18:22Kurt Metzger?

  Like Andrew Wilson, you know? I married a chick with, uh, six kids, based on him.

• 1:18:27Duncan Trussell?

  Good for you.

• 1:18:28Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:28Duncan Trussell?

  Good for her.

• 1:18:29Kurt Metzger?

  She makes me a nice breakfast of sloppy ass eggs and...

• 1:18:32Duncan Trussell?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:18:32Kurt Metzger?

  Lot of carbs.

• 1:18:33Duncan Trussell?

  Wet eggs.

• 1:18:35Kurt Metzger?

  Lot of carbs and, uh, fupa.

• 1:18:37Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta ask, what's the sex like?

• 1:18:40Kurt Metzger?

  Sloppy, dude. Wait, with a woman? Oh, we don't do that, we...

• 1:18:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, what am I talking about?

• 1:18:46Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry.

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  God.

• 1:18:48Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:18:48Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry.

• 1:18:49Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. So... I got so lost in talking about my, uh, Andrew Wilson lifestyle that I forgot Big Homie. Okay, so, uh, also, and this is one of the most mind-blowing things, Big Homie, to my knowledge, is the first black man to ever see a Bigfoot.

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:19:05Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:19:05Kurt Metzger?

  But he might not be, but you're the first one I heard of, so I'm just saying it.

• 1:19:09Duncan Trussell?

  You saw a Sasquatch?

• 1:19:11Kurt Metzger?

  A stuffed one.

• 1:19:12Speaker 06

  I took, I, I also have photos that I... I also have photos that I took.

• 1:19:19Duncan Trussell?

  Of the Bigfoot?

• 1:19:20Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, but of the guy's display? So just explain the thing to Duncan, because he doesn't know about you, working for some guy?

• 1:19:27Speaker 06

  So here's the thing, right? Working as a private bodyguard in the private sector, I ended up on a lot of teams with ex-military guys, and me being non-military, I'll have to do all the grunt work.

• 1:19:39Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:19:40Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, as a guy who's been on a security team, you would never go and make sure the roof was safe, and the Charlie Kirk thing, if you were security, right? I mean, there's no reason to be suspicious of...

• 1:19:49Speaker 06

  Bro, if you are not sealing the entire perimeter, rooftops of everything in a certain perimeter, then you're just like the bullshit Secret Service, which is like ex-police officers that's going through just another training academy.

• 1:20:04Kurt Metzger?

  You're talking about the Thomas Crooks one, because that was, uh, Homeland Security on loan, those fat lunch ladies.

• 1:20:11Speaker 06

  Yeah, and then, contrary to, contrary to popular belief, all law enforcement agencies don't get along and they don't work together well, so this is the same way they killed Kennedy, because the day before he was assassinated, they swapped out his entire Secret Service team, did the same thing to Trump, and he got shot.

• 1:20:30Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I don't want to be conspiratorial, like somehow that suspicious that they would do that at the last minute.

• 1:20:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, don't be conspiratorial.

• 1:20:35Kurt Metzger?

  We're not about, and the Diet Coke's not about that?

• 1:20:38Duncan Trussell?

  No way.

• 1:20:39Kurt Metzger?

  You can't see what Duncan has on, but it's a Diet Coke can, so it's very important that we, we don't...

• 1:20:43Duncan Trussell?

  It's my favorite drink, Big Homie. Now, but let's, we gotta, we gotta finish the Bigfoot story, because he started it. Would you start the Bigfoot story over, so the professor can hear you?

• 1:20:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, so basically, I was working on a security team with, with some Rangers. I was the guy who was non-military, and I was the youngest, so I had to do the grunt work. Doing the grunt work, I'm grilling up burgers, I'm carrying boxes of fucking Miller Lite and Bud Light, and I ended up befriending the client's wife. And then, the, the client took a liking to me because his wife liked me, and he invited me into his trophy room, because he's an avid hunter, big game hunter, he's traversed the world hunting. And once I got into his trophy room, I locked eyes with something that

• 1:21:34Speaker 06

  technically shouldn't be there. And when I saw it, I said, well, you know, I'm the only black dude here, and I'm looking at, looks like a taxidermy man that's eight feet tall, something I wouldn't want to fight on a dark night in the wilderness. Uh, and basically, I'll never forget his words, he looked at me being astonished, and he said, "The big old boys are real, they're out there."

• 1:22:03Duncan Trussell?

  But are you sure that wasn't just a big dude he killed?

• 1:22:09Speaker 06

  Bro, I've killed people before, bro, I've shot people before, bro, like, I know, I know that's not...

• 1:22:14Duncan Trussell?

  But I mean, if I had a, if I had a human corpse embalmed in my trophy room...

• 1:22:19Speaker 06

  Wasn't, wasn't human. Brothers, no, there's no human being...

• 1:22:22Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, if you do see an eight-foot-tall human, you should embalm them, that's a crazy trophy.

• 1:22:26Duncan Trussell?

  You have to.

• 1:22:26Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, but you had another part of that, you said his hand wasn't on, like there was a separate display for his hand?

• 1:22:33Speaker 06

  So, I noticed that one hand on the body that was taxidermy towering over me, I seen that it was sewed off at the end, and when I looked at his display above like the little fireplace, I seen his hand, I seen a hand that was splayed open in a glass case, and allegedly, that was the hand that belonged to this creature. Now, mind you, I'm six foot six, I'm like four hundred pounds right now, and the creature that I see taxidermy did not look like a monkey to me. It wasn't a gorilla, it wasn't a chimpanzee, it wasn't an ape.

• 1:23:13Speaker 06

  It looked like, um, a man, but it was not a man. And...

• 1:23:22Kurt Metzger?

  How important was this guy? I mean, did, did you work for him for a long time? Because, um, and I got a collection of kooky, and Duncan has, I promise you, a collection of kooky-ass stories of being around important people. We should make a whole other podcast called Tell You After the Show, because it's that nuts.

• 1:23:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:38Kurt Metzger?

  But, um...

• 1:23:39Speaker 06

  Hundred percent, hundred percent.

• 1:23:40Kurt Metzger?

  And one of them had a goddamn Bigfoot corpse, so that's, because, I mean, that's like, uh, I don't even know what industry you would even be connected to, where you would be connected to that.

• 1:23:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:51Kurt Metzger?

  Was it just finance?

• 1:23:52Speaker 06

  Well, well, I'll say, I'll say this, once my story went public, um, I got contacted by a guy named Todd Gatewood, and Todd Gatewood has been mastering footage from the Patty footage, and he put me in contact with another person who also has a taxidermy one. I'm sup, him and Todd, him and Todd Standing are meeting with me when I get back to the States to go see that one, so...

• 1:24:23Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:24:23Speaker 06

  He wants to release photos, I'll give Kurt the professional courtesy to have the first access to that.

• 1:24:29Kurt Metzger?

  As a fellow mystery, because we, you know, the Mystery Boys are, uh, not quite police level, uh, but, you know, when you can't go...

• 1:24:37Duncan Trussell?

  We have clearance.

• 1:24:38Kurt Metzger?

  We have lots of clearances.

• 1:24:39Duncan Trussell?

  So, but, did, did this guy say that he, he shot the Bigfoot, or he just bought the...

• 1:24:45Speaker 06

  What he said, what he said to me was that the body itself came down from Washington State.

• 1:24:52Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:24:53Speaker 06

  Um, he paid a significant amount of money for it, there was an auction for it. There was an auction for it, he won the auction.

• 1:25:00Duncan Trussell?

  Wow. Wow.

• 1:25:03Speaker 06

  He's got it on his property, it's in Colorado right now.

• 1:25:06Duncan Trussell?

  How big was that, like if you had to guess?

• 1:25:07Kurt Metzger?

  He said eight feet tall.

• 1:25:08Duncan Trussell?

  Eight feet, oh, eight feet.

• 1:25:10Speaker 06

  I, I, I'm six foot six. Uh, it was, it was a, it was a minimum two feet taller than me, about possibly three feet wider than me, pause. And, you know, the hair on my neck stood up, I got goosebumps, because I knew I was looking at something that existed.

• 1:25:31Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:25:31Speaker 06

  I always knew it existed, and he didn't say anything about it, but he gave me an ominous look once he seen I locked eyes on it, he had a slight smirk on his face. And that's when he looked at me and he said, "The big old boys are real, they're out there."

• 1:25:48Duncan Trussell?

  That is sinister.

• 1:25:49Speaker 06

  And those, that was his exact words. Never forget it.

• 1:25:53Duncan Trussell?

  Did you, could you see its dick?

• 1:25:56Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:25:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's my question. How does, how does Bigfoot get laid?

• 1:25:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, that's a question I want to ask.

• 1:26:02Duncan Trussell?

  Was it, so it's, it's, uh, it could have been a female?

• 1:26:06Speaker 06

  Uh, the females have visual breasts. This had the body of a bodybuilder, pretty much.

• 1:26:11Duncan Trussell?

  But where was the?

• 1:26:12Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, somebody drew, wait, somebody said, what is his dick like? You see, someone drew it.

• 1:26:16Speaker 02

  That's a big dick.

• 1:26:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I mean, I, I, I'm sorry, and people are gonna be like, why are you always going to this gross shit? But for real, like I.

• 1:26:23Kurt Metzger?

  What's, what is gross about?

• 1:26:25Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I mean, it's a question, like.

• 1:26:26Kurt Metzger?

  Was that in a separate case by the hand?

• 1:26:28Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:26:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, that's a pretty big dick, yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:35Speaker 06

  They do, well, it's similar to horses, like where horses, when they mate,

• 1:26:40Speaker 06

  their, their phallus is almost unseen until they get aroused.

• 1:26:44Duncan Trussell?

  You better believe it.

• 1:26:45Speaker 02

  So if, if we find Bigfoot, do you think Bonnie Blue would volunteer to fuck it?

• 1:26:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, what? Of course.

• 1:26:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, there'd be a line out the door.

• 1:26:53Kurt Metzger?

  Her whole family supports her in that endeavor, so they did it.

• 1:26:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it's noble.

• 1:26:57Speaker 06

  Well, when I visited certain Native American reservations, um, they would speak about how they used to take women.

• 1:27:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:08Duncan Trussell?

  That's awful.

• 1:27:09Speaker 06

  And they would all, they would always tell the ladies, don't go outside the visual view of the fire, and don't walk into the tree line after night.

• 1:27:19Kurt Metzger?

  I say that to my lady this day, unless you want one of them big, unless you want one of them NBA bones.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:27:27Kurt Metzger?

  Unless you want to get Bigfoot, uh, this Twilight Bone book that he's displaying. Rogan is who first told me about Bigfoot porn.

• 1:27:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's, it's huge.

• 1:27:36Kurt Metzger?

  Do you see how like racial that it is too? By like, when Teen Wolf came out back in the day, I was like, is this a metaphor about finding out you're half-black? Because he, he finds out his parents ever told him. Say again?

• 1:27:50Speaker 06

  Pardon me, I was talking to my wife.

• 1:27:51Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, oh, do you ever see Teen Wolf, one or two, Big Homie?

• 1:27:55Duncan Trussell?

  Teen?

• 1:27:56Speaker 06

  Yes, sir, I've, I've seen Teen Wolf.

• 1:27:57Kurt Metzger?

  Is that about growing up and finding out you're half-black or not? Because what happens? Oh, first he's not cool, then he finds out he's a werewolf, and then he gets really good at basketball. And then even though he's so good at basketball, they don't, they start calling him a dog instead of respecting. And then the next one's about boxing. It's a fucking weird shit.

• 1:28:15Duncan Trussell?

  It's a weird movie.

• 1:28:16Kurt Metzger?

  They're both weird as hell.

• 1:28:17Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys pull up come for Bigfoot?

• 1:28:21Duncan Trussell?

  This is another in the genre of, uh, Bigfoot porn. I, I would say this is.

• 1:28:25Kurt Metzger?

  Do they have this in China, a Bigfoot?

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, so Bigfoot, these aliens are racist as fuck, cause like, they, they never come to China.

• 1:28:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, come for Bigfoot.

• 1:28:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, what about the one, uh, the yeti? What about a yeti? Yeah.

• 1:28:37Speaker 02

  Isn't that the Himalayas? That's not China.

• 1:28:40Duncan Trussell?

  Well, but China has, like, so there's no Bigfoot cryptid or anything?

• 1:28:44Speaker 02

  No, no, nothing. You, you've, you've got no Bigfoot, you've got no aliens.

• 1:28:48Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:28:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aliens refuse to adopt Chinese people.

• 1:28:51Duncan Trussell?

  There's, that sucks, really?

• 1:28:53Kurt Metzger?

  I thought that there are stories from China. There are not?

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  There's none.

• 1:28:57Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm.

• 1:28:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:59Duncan Trussell?

  There's no Chinese cryptid.

• 1:29:01Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, but Duncan says that a lot of these aliens are Chinese people in the future, and you think it's because they can't talk to their past selves?

• 1:29:07Duncan Trussell?

  I never said, when, did I say that?

• 1:29:09Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, before the Diet Coke thing, that is perfectly normal and not any kind of nefarious Duncan goes and teaches them how to explain aliens to people and other things like that.

• 1:29:19Duncan Trussell?

  I do not.

• 1:29:21Kurt Metzger?

  Well, then I don't know what the fuck he was saying. Sounded racist.

• 1:29:24Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't say that. Did I say that? It sounds like I would have said that.

• 1:29:28Kurt Metzger?

  You guys were there. He said, these future aliens, and I corrected him that they're actually the Sami people, who can look Asian, but they're not.

• 1:29:35Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I remember. No, this is, this was my theory. Uh, China is probably gonna win the AI race, if it's true, it get a superintelligence. The superintelligence is gonna figure out a way to navigate time-space, AKA time machine.

• 1:29:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:49Duncan Trussell?

  And the gray aliens, because they do have like a sort of Asian features, it probably indicates that China gets the superintelligence.

• 1:29:58Speaker 02

  Flock cameras, man. Let's, let's get flock cameras everywhere, you know, right now.

• 1:30:03Duncan Trussell?

  Right now.

• 1:30:04Speaker 02

  Right now.

• 1:30:04Kurt Metzger?

  Was that ringing sound that we lost Big Homie?

• 1:30:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so, yeah.

• 1:30:07Duncan Trussell?

  We lost him.

• 1:30:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:09Kurt Metzger?

  He's in Kenya, the, calling us about.

• 1:30:11Speaker 02

  Why is he in Kenya?

• 1:30:13Duncan Trussell?

  Great question.

• 1:30:14Kurt Metzger?

  Well, people will be like, hey, he's a cop. And I was like, that's probably, I don't know. People say he's a cop, and I'm like, I don't care. Good. I'm not pro, uh, gangbanger.

• 1:30:24Duncan Trussell?

  Well, look, I gotta ask the professor another question. We only have a limited amount of time with him. Are you a prepper? Like, what are you doing? Like, everything that you are describing is so terrifying.

• 1:30:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:35Duncan Trussell?

  What are you doing to get ready for it? You have kids.

• 1:30:38Speaker 02

  You know, I think that what's gonna save us is Jesus. I think that, you know, you can prep all you want, but like, ultimately, it's Jesus that can save us.

• 1:30:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:50Speaker 02

  Right, so I think it's about spirituality. I think it's about coming to terms with your mortality and, um, living a good life. Repent. I'm repenting, man.

• 1:31:03Duncan Trussell?

  Repent.

• 1:31:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm giving up, you know, my life of Diet Coke and.

• 1:31:08Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, come on. You don't have to jit now. Come on! Are you seriously gonna do that? Let me say this, in the Book of Revelation, it talks about Diet Coke. You have to get the right translation, but Diet Coke is essentially the blood of Christ. It's the communion, it's the actual communion.

• 1:31:26Kurt Metzger?

  Well, there's a trans, uh, substantiation.

• 1:31:28Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you.

• 1:31:29Kurt Metzger?

  Taste this substantiation.

• 1:31:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, this is, this is.

• 1:31:32Kurt Metzger?

  Are you aware in, uh, of that woman in Chi, I can't remember what the cult's called, but it's in China, and I'd never heard of it until very recently. And it was basically because there, there's not a lot of Christians there like that, and if they are, they're actually meeting like in somebody's house, or like.

• 1:31:47Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, old school.

• 1:31:49Kurt Metzger?

  So, so then, some woman claims to be Jesus's Chinese woman, and then they would bust into these meetings. And it's like, sounds like, uh, if you ran an underground gambling ring, and they're like, we're taking over your, your gambling operation, except it's with Jesus belief. And this woman said, so, like the original Jesus, she beat, has her men beat you with a lead pipe if you don't, if you don't turn your meeting over.

• 1:32:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:11Kurt Metzger?

  I don't remember what it's called.

• 1:32:12Speaker 02

  Some, some dude in China read a Bible, and the guy was like illiterate, right? But he reads a Bible.

• 1:32:17Kurt Metzger?

  That's a good trick.

• 1:32:18Speaker 02

  And, uh, he thinks he's Jesus' brother. And, like, like, like, he thinks that, you know, he's Jesus' Chinese brother. I, I, I don't know how that works, but yeah, they're brothers.

• 1:32:29Kurt Metzger?

  His younger brother, I would assume.

• 1:32:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then he, uh, starts a religious movement, and he, like, tens of millions actually join the movement, and it starts a civil war in China.

• 1:32:39Kurt Metzger?

  When was this?

• 1:32:40Speaker 02

  This is the nineteenth century, um, the.

• 1:32:42Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the Box Rebellion, is this?

• 1:32:44Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. This is the, um, the, uh, Heavenly Peace Rebellion.

• 1:32:48Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:32:50Kurt Metzger?

  But China's got a lot of, China's got some dense lore.

• 1:32:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, man. So, like, you know, like, you can pretend to be Jesus' brother and like, just rule the country.

• 1:33:00Kurt Metzger?

  I say I'm Paul. Everybody tries to be Jesus, but what about Paul? The guy who comes in, hey, I got here late, I'll take it from here, guys.

• 1:33:07Duncan Trussell?

  Saul. It's Saul.

• 1:33:08Speaker 02

  It's Saul, actually.

• 1:33:09Kurt Metzger?

  Used to be Saul.

• 1:33:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:10Duncan Trussell?

  Now you're Paul.

• 1:33:11Kurt Metzger?

  Now I'm Paul.

• 1:33:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, Big Homie, we lost you.

• 1:33:15Speaker 07

  We, we got Big Homie back on the line.

• 1:33:17Speaker 06

  Check their text messages right now.

• 1:33:18Speaker 07

  I, I have it up for him. It's the, the Shen and Ji, uh, Bigfoot.

• 1:33:22Duncan Trussell?

  Is that from China?

• 1:33:23Speaker 07

  In China, yeah.

• 1:33:24Duncan Trussell?

  Well, well, Professor, how do you just, how do you explain this?

• 1:33:28Speaker 02

  They look like apes.

• 1:33:29Kurt Metzger?

  This is just.

• 1:33:32Duncan Trussell?

  That's not an ape.

• 1:33:32Speaker 06

  National Park in China.

• 1:33:34Speaker 02

  Oh, wow, okay.

• 1:33:35Duncan Trussell?

  That's a Sasquatch.

• 1:33:36Speaker 02

  Well, that convinces me now.

• 1:33:38Kurt Metzger?

  Yep.

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:39Kurt Metzger?

  You just got Wilsoned.

• 1:33:40Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:33:41Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:33:41Speaker 02

  That's right, yes, yes.

• 1:33:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, there you go. So there is a Chinese Sasquatch.

• 1:33:47Speaker 02

  That's right, yeah.

• 1:33:48Duncan Trussell?

  And that means everything else you say is wrong.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly. You got me, man. The Andrew Wilson School of Logic, yes, yes.

• 1:33:56Speaker 06

  They call it the Yeran out, out there it's called the Yeran.

• 1:33:59Kurt Metzger?

  Say it again, how do you spell it?

• 1:34:02Speaker 06

  Out there it's called the Yeran.

• 1:34:04Speaker 02

  You know, I, I'm so relieved. Bigfoot is not racist after all.

• 1:34:07Duncan Trussell?

  Thank God.

• 1:34:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, thank God. That's all I care about, really.

• 1:34:10Kurt Metzger?

  Go ahead.

• 1:34:10Duncan Trussell?

  Same.

• 1:34:11Speaker 06

  R E, R, R E U.

• 1:34:13Kurt Metzger?

  R E U. Oh, that's right, the Yeran, okay. So, cause when you were on my show, Professor Zhang, you didn't know about all these like, uh, Tong things. Because if, once you get like people where they're not, they don't have a religion, like how here you do, it's amazing how much they don't think or know about any of that stuff or give a shit. It's like amazing.

• 1:34:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:34:32Kurt Metzger?

  And I heard there's a thing people get, somebody told me one of these expats, it's like Jerusalem Syndrome in Israel, where people think they're Jesus because they went to Israel for some reason. In China, they get so isolated, because nobody else is into, into Christianity, they start thinking like a bird on their window is a message from God.

• 1:34:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:49Kurt Metzger?

  And it's like a weird, like, going from spiritual isolation, really.

• 1:34:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:54Speaker 06

  Well, well, well, the reason that they say a bird is because in several biblical texts, prophets said a crow landed and spoke to them in English.

• 1:35:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yugen and Mugen, that's Odin's eyes.

• 1:35:07Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, in the Bible?

• 1:35:11Duncan Trussell?

  Well, that's weird that the crow spoke in English. It should be, probably didn't understand.

• 1:35:15Kurt Metzger?

  I've heard of that in things, but not as a Bible thing.

• 1:35:19Speaker 06

  Not in the, not in the edited King James Version Bible.

• 1:35:23Kurt Metzger?

  What is that, like the cooler game of, oh, a game of fire and ice?

• 1:35:29Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, those books have this shit, yeah.

• 1:35:32Speaker 06

  There's, there's seven hundred different Bibles.

• 1:35:34Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, Big Homie, uh, Professor Zhang told me, I still think this is a real, I laughed when you told me, but I think you're right. Because I remember seeing George R.R. Martin at the Emmys, like, dicking around, not finishing that book.

• 1:35:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:47Kurt Metzger?

  All right, what is your theory of that, Professor Zhang?

• 1:35:50Speaker 02

  My theory is that if you can, um, inhabit people's consciousness, uh, forever, you can live forever. So you got like millions of people who are waiting for you to finish this stupid book, that you'll never finish, and like, they're just waiting and waiting, you just won't die.

• 1:36:10Kurt Metzger?

  That's right.

• 1:36:10Speaker 02

  Cause they're waiting for you to finish.

• 1:36:11Kurt Metzger?

  A strategy of tension, like Operation Gladiochetship or with a book. It may be a lie too, but it's real.

• 1:36:18Speaker 02

  It's real, yeah. You think I'm joking?

• 1:36:20Kurt Metzger?

  And then he never finished that fucking book, and that's what he'll be known for. But you liked the first one.

• 1:36:25Duncan Trussell?

  He just lived in that desire.

• 1:36:27Kurt Metzger?

  He went to a day of rest like God.

• 1:36:29Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:36:30Speaker 02

  You got millions of people just waiting for him to finish, finish the book. And so like, and so like, you know, that, that conscious energy just traps him in our time.

• 1:36:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:36:38Speaker 02

  And he can't leave.

• 1:36:39Duncan Trussell?

  So brilliant, it's true.

• 1:36:40Kurt Metzger?

  It's weird for a guy that's cribbing from history so much, you'd think he'd be able to fill in the rest just based on all the history.

• 1:36:45Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:46Kurt Metzger?

  Um, all right, so, this is why I wanted, uh, Big, even though Bigfoot and this are a good topic. All right, Big, Big Homie knows about EDP four, four, five, right?

• 1:36:58Kurt Metzger?

  Did you say you don't?

• 1:36:58Speaker 06

  Hello?

• 1:36:59Kurt Metzger?

  Can you hear me?

• 1:37:00Duncan Trussell?

  Can you hear us? Big homie. Come in, big homie.

• 1:37:05Kurt Metzger?

  I hear him. Hey, can you hear us?

• 1:37:08Speaker 06

  Yes, I'm here.

• 1:37:09Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:37:09Speaker 06

  I'm here.

• 1:37:10Kurt Metzger?

  You know about EDP four, four, five, right?

• 1:37:13Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:37:15Kurt Metzger?

  The guy who is a beloved online and then uh, somebody did a, a do it yourself thing. And uh,

• 1:37:21Speaker 06

  Yes, I know, that's a good idea.

• 1:37:23Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, the new documentary by this guy Mike Klum. Now Tanner, do you have that clip that I texted you earlier from um, Kino Casino? Because this documentary, I can't recommend, the tonal whiplash of it is like,

• 1:37:34Duncan Trussell?

  Cool.

• 1:37:35Kurt Metzger?

  It feels like you got

• 1:37:38Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so

• 1:37:38Duncan Trussell?

  I don't wanna watch that.

• 1:37:40Kurt Metzger?

  No, I, I'm telling you have to, this is all

• 1:37:42Duncan Trussell?

  I don't want that feeling.

• 1:37:44Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, yet you've hung out a man in a Diet Coke can. Alright, wait. So this clip, so this guy has people he hates online, right? And then he has people that he calls real, real N-words, okay? And so this is his, and this is who he loves. Now, I got this from Kino Casino. Shout out to Kino Casino. Uh, and this made me laugh and I immediately called Rogan, uh, texted Rogan this shit. Cause this is how Rogan figures this documentary, which I find hysterical. Cause remember we learned he might be Richard Greco?

• 1:38:15Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:38:16Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:38:16Duncan Trussell?

  Might.

• 1:38:17Kurt Metzger?

  He might be, but I think it's a good, good chance.

• 1:38:19Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know if it's a might anymore.

• 1:38:21Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, go ahead and play, this is this guy. Now, after, when they're showing you this, this is after he just got done saying something horrific. That will give you pause. Okay, go ahead, play it.

• 1:38:29Speaker 07

  I wanna introduce you guys to the real fucking gangsters of the fucking internet.

• 1:38:33Speaker 02

  You know, there's like a billion YouTubers like, oh my god, please god, no, no, no.

• 1:38:38Duncan Trussell?

  No, no, no, no. This is a real eclectic list of people, you know? This is crazy when he fucking pulls up.

• 1:38:45Kurt Metzger?

  That I'm full supportive of EDP.

• 1:38:47Speaker 07

  First up, we got Andrew Tate. He likes to preach about

• 1:38:50Kurt Metzger?

  I'm with him on that.

• 1:38:51Speaker 07

  men and women not being equal.

• 1:38:52Duncan Trussell?

  Well, he got felted.

• 1:38:54Speaker 07

  Next up, we got my motherfucking name is Donald fucking Trump.

• 1:38:57Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my god.

• 1:38:58Speaker 07

  This guy's a fucking piece, man.

• 1:39:01Speaker 02

  Rogan, bro. I got a message from

• 1:39:04Duncan Trussell?

  Soph, for Joe Rogan?

• 1:39:07Speaker 02

  Hey, it's your buddy Joe.

• 1:39:08Duncan Trussell?

  Joe Rogan.

• 1:39:10Kurt Metzger?

  He, he goes, I got a message Metzger. Well, guess what? I did text Joe.

• 1:39:14Speaker 07

  In his podcast, he's always shitting on fucking women. Yeah, it's fucking, I love that bitch. Uh, Andrew Tate's brother, so yeah, you're already fucked, that's enough said. I went to my motherfucking main nigga Ben Shapiro.

• 1:39:27Duncan Trussell?

  Funny shit, like, the craziest, like, what? Like, it was

• 1:39:37Kurt Metzger?

  That's, I mean, what?

• 1:39:40Kurt Metzger?

  And I forget who's even at the end, but um, this is, this guy, you find out partway through, has been sent, when he likes a girl, he sends her pictures of his shits. To flirt.

• 1:39:50Speaker 06

  Stomach.

• 1:39:51Kurt Metzger?

  That, luckily, that's at the end of it, but it's just like, right when you're like, this is kinda what the fuck on its own.

• 1:39:58Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:39:58Kurt Metzger?

  But I promise you, if you watch the documentary, there is like, just one after another, you're like, why did this guy agree to do this?

• 1:40:05Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:40:06Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, and it, dude, and when I look at EDP, that guy looks like he has some kinda Asperger. So Rogan, funnily enough, told me about how in China, they were doing some kinda, I don't know, gene thing in the population. I don't know if it was vaccines, something. Then there's something he probably heard from somebody he knows at some spec ops or something, right? And it was to make, to make their IQs higher. I'm like, oh, I bet China did do that. Do you, what do you think they did here? Because

• 1:40:31Speaker 06

  Yeah, they ordered downstairs.

• 1:40:32Kurt Metzger?

  All these Asperger people that are like,

• 1:40:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:35Kurt Metzger?

  America's quest is to make everybody a sociopath like that Destiny Streamer. That's America's, that's the ultimate American goal, is make you a psychopath. But it doesn't work. So what's the next best thing? People that can't, they have a filter problem with feeling normally towards humans.

• 1:40:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:50Kurt Metzger?

  And they buy all the products and they don't drive cars.

• 1:40:52Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:40:53Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's big homie. Well, because Professor Zhang has to leave, so yeah, we do need big homie. Hey, so big homie, EDP?

• 1:41:00Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:41:01Kurt Metzger?

  Um, you, you, you saw, you're familiar with his saga, right?

• 1:41:06Speaker 06

  Absolutely.

• 1:41:07Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so, does he look like um, he doesn't know what's wrong?

• 1:41:12Speaker 06

  He's off, he's also protective.

• 1:41:14Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:41:17Speaker 06

  Well.

• 1:41:19Kurt Metzger?

  Is he a Bigfoot?

• 1:41:22Speaker 06

  Well, there seems to be a concerted effort amongst governments to give leniency to people who participate in child humiliation and sacrifice.

• 1:41:32Kurt Metzger?

  But why, why not Andrew Tate then? What did he do wrong?

• 1:41:37Speaker 06

  Andrew Tate never went through the humiliation rituals that these other people go through.

• 1:41:43Kurt Metzger?

  Did you not see that last fight?

• 1:41:46Speaker 06

  Well, that, that, that was his, that was, that was definitely an attempt, an attempt by him, but they were, they'd never been able to compromise him the way they compromised everybody else.

• 1:41:58Kurt Metzger?

  Really? I, dude, that, everything I see from that guy, including his book about growing up with his dad, the CIA chess player guy. Uh, he's, he's doing Kung Fu with butterflies, which is very MK Monarch. Oh, Professor Zhang's got a head hoof it back to China, dude.

• 1:42:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, yeah.

• 1:42:16Kurt Metzger?

  That's why they got big homies though, because

• 1:42:17Speaker 02

  Okay. Alright, man.

• 1:42:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that was great that you came to this, man. I really appreciate it because

• 1:42:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, hey, man.

• 1:42:23Duncan Trussell?

  You're awesome, man. Great to meet you.

• 1:42:25Speaker 02

  Thanks so much, man. So much fun, guys.

• 1:42:27Duncan Trussell?

  Thanks for coming on the show.

• 1:42:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:42:29Kurt Metzger?

  Um, yeah, it, it, it's a rare one now. I got both Professor Zhang on his way out.

• 1:42:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:42:34Kurt Metzger?

  America, probably

• 1:42:35Duncan Trussell?

  Safe travels, Professor.

• 1:42:36Speaker 02

  Thank you, thank you.

• 1:42:37Kurt Metzger?

  And tell the CCP if they wanna know about, uh, what was that, uh, Billings, Montana?

• 1:42:41Speaker 02

  You guys are in, man. You guys are in, you guys are in.

• 1:42:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah!

• 1:42:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:42:46Kurt Metzger?

  I know, I know that spy balloon went to Billings, Montana. I'll tell them everything about Billings for six dollars, and I want Billings to know I did it.

• 1:42:52Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, let's, let's

• 1:42:53Kurt Metzger?

  Take that word back to you.

• 1:42:54Duncan Trussell?

  You know what? We're gonna start calling the show, The CCP Presents The Mystery Boys.

• 1:42:59Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I thought that the title Girthful Streams kinda sounded like a, like a wise

• 1:43:04Speaker 06

  Girthful Streams is crazy.

• 1:43:05Kurt Metzger?

  I, I got it from the Clavicular documentary.

• 1:43:07Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, well, I, I've gotta use, I've gotta, I'm so, I have to do a number two, so

• 1:43:11Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, Duncan has to take another shit, and I'm gonna talk to big homie. Thank you very much, Professor.

• 1:43:18Kurt Metzger?

  Get home safe.

• 1:43:20Kurt Metzger?

  Um, okay, so why do you think somebody's protecting, not protecting? You said that Andrew Tate, you think that he, his boxing match against the gay guy with pink gloves, who just had better wind, which is, I mean, an important part of boxing. Uh, he wanted that to be a humiliation, but that's not good enough?

• 1:43:39Speaker 06

  That is definitely not good enough, cause you know, he played the trafficking game like everybody else did, and didn't suffer any of the consequences, and didn't have to go through the same rituals and processes everybody else. He did everything on his own terms, they don't like that.

• 1:43:54Kurt Metzger?

  Well, who the fuck was that? Why would he have a tech company in Israel or be like with Nick Fuentes, who's a fucking homunculus or something? Like, what, who, how, I know his dad had to be some CIA thing, and he, and he reeks of MK Monarch to me. Especially all the butterfly imagery and all the other bullshit, and that Iggy Somowice piece of shit, who's a sixty year old, I think fucking probably a hubbard as well.

• 1:44:17Speaker 06

  For sure. Well, well, the thing is this, um,

• 1:44:22Speaker 06

  you know,

• 1:44:25Speaker 06

  you can ask any avid Bigfoot researcher, anyone who's looking for places to grow weed, they'll tell you that in those areas, you're gonna encounter Chinese dudes in K-mo with automatic weapons.

• 1:44:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:44:44Speaker 06

  So, um,

• 1:44:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, what's the big deal?

• 1:44:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, the Chinese are operating in our country pretty much without impunity.

• 1:44:53Kurt Metzger?

  Because it's, they're together. I, like, dude, COVID, I think came from Raleigh and not even Wuhan. I think everybody's responsible for their own countries, you know, uh, uh, reaping. Uh, uh, they've allowed, whenever they say China's the enemy, I'm like, wha, why, why are they making our shoes and our viruses and phones for us then, if they're our enemy?

• 1:45:16Speaker 06

  Uh, last year, over sixty thousand war age Chinese males crossed the border.

• 1:45:22Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 1:45:22Speaker 06

  And they left their, they left their identification, they pick up, they're given a pamphlet on where to go, and you ask them where they're going, and they say they're going to camp.

• 1:45:32Kurt Metzger?

  I remember this story. Now, how much of this?

• 1:45:35Speaker 06

  That's a real story.

• 1:45:37Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, Redacted, uh, reported on it early, and there's a lot of bizarre, uh, you know, do you remember that fir, oh, oh, wow, you look, your face looks completely different since you took that shit.

• 1:45:50Duncan Trussell?

  I just relieved my bowels.

• 1:45:52Kurt Metzger?

  And now your skin's looser?

• 1:45:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:55Speaker 06

  Damn.

• 1:45:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:57Speaker 06

  Let's go.

• 1:45:58Duncan Trussell?

  I've been eating so many sardines.

• 1:46:00Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Okay. So, uh, what was that, was it fair, it's not fair, wait, what's that furniture thing that they, uh, said is

• 1:46:08Duncan Trussell?

  Wayfair.

• 1:46:10Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Wayfair. So you remember that Wayfair thing, right?

• 1:46:14Speaker 06

  Yes, I do.

• 1:46:15Kurt Metzger?

  Um, and so, I didn't know, there's like, and I got this from Crazy Days and Nights, by the way, uh, there's a thing in Mexico, like a generational traffickers of humans, gangster thing, I don't know, I can't remember what it's called.

• 1:46:28Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:46:29Kurt Metzger?

  You find on Crazy Days and Nights. Um, and that's what that was covering, and that's why you have the names, and

• 1:46:34Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:46:35Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't pay attention to this at the time, but when it was debunked, and I'm making air quotes when I say debunked.

• 1:46:40Duncan Trussell?

  Debunked.

• 1:46:41Kurt Metzger?

  They were like, oh, they don't stuff kids in the pillows, in the furniture. But obviously, that's not what that fucking means. Um, do you know anything about, uh, the, the Sound of Freedom, big homie? Because, um,

• 1:46:53Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:46:54Kurt Metzger?

  I think that guy's full of shit.

• 1:46:56Duncan Trussell?

  Did somebody say Sound of Freedom?

• 1:46:59Kurt Metzger?

  I'll just tell you, I think that guy's full of shit. The guy from Sound of Freedom.

• 1:47:04Duncan Trussell?

  It seems a little weird, right?

• 1:47:07Kurt Metzger?

  Well, he's a Scientologist or some bullshit and we had him on, we had these other people on Jimmy's show, yeah, Tim Ballard. Since when does the Department of Homeland Security give a fuck about trafficked kids? And why is it focused across the border and not here in America, the capital of that? Also, I found-

• 1:47:23Speaker 06

  Scientology, Scientology is the biggest human trafficking organization in the world.

• 1:47:30Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's on point. I agree with him.

• 1:47:32Duncan Trussell?

  Can you talk about that more?

• 1:47:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yup.

• 1:47:36Speaker 06

  Well, this is the only- They have a free, they have a free labor source, which is basically save slavery. And it's the largest in the world. Like, you know, every gang stalking case that I investigated, it led back to Scientology because what group of middle-aged people don't have to be at work and they have time to gang stalk people?

• 1:48:01Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:48:03Speaker 06

  It always leads back to them. That's why I stopped investigating.

• 1:48:06Kurt Metzger?

  That is, dude, that's wild because they say they, they call it squirrel busting.

• 1:48:10Duncan Trussell?

  Is that what Scientologists call it?

• 1:48:12Kurt Metzger?

  If they gang stalk you, that's what they do to ex-members. It's famous. It's in like-

• 1:48:16Duncan Trussell?

  No, this is in their doctrine. It's like if someone attacks you-

• 1:48:19Kurt Metzger?

  Fair game.

• 1:48:20Duncan Trussell?

  Fair game. That's what it is.

• 1:48:21Kurt Metzger?

  And that's very common thing, a bunch of, a lot of cult-like organizations, gangs, fuck it, take your pick of things.

• 1:48:27Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:48:28Kurt Metzger?

  It's fair enough. If you betray us, we get to come after you.

• 1:48:30Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:48:32Speaker 06

  And then Scientology compromises you by getting you to confess all of the terrible things you've done in your life. So they hold that against you. So they have the leverage against you and they pretty much just use you for the rest of your life until you decide to get out of the organization.

• 1:48:47Duncan Trussell?

  This is what NXIVM did too. It's a classic.

• 1:48:49Kurt Metzger?

  That's right. There's one move. It's like, it's all the same thing. It's a pyramid structure.

• 1:48:54Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:48:55Kurt Metzger?

  And you just run this fucking game on people over and over and it works like, you just gotta switch out the names.

• 1:49:04Duncan Trussell?

  It's what Epstein did. P. Diddy.

• 1:49:08Kurt Metzger?

  It's just, uh, the hero with a thousand faces.

• 1:49:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:49:12Kurt Metzger?

  You know, and it's also- Yeah, good.

• 1:49:15Speaker 06

  P. Diddy is, uh, well, have you ever heard the, uh, Jay-Z has a verse on Drake's song Pound Cake where he mentions El Gran Santo Juan on the mantle?

• 1:49:31Kurt Metzger?

  No, I don't know.

• 1:49:32Speaker 06

  Yeah, they, they, oh, well-

• 1:49:34Kurt Metzger?

  But Jay-Z's a boule fucking sweetie pie. I know that.

• 1:49:38Speaker 06

  Well, yeah, like they, they all worship certain deities, just like in our government. They, they make everything science fiction because in all actuality, they serve those-

• 1:49:47Duncan Trussell?

  What's El Gran Santo?

• 1:49:50Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:49:50Speaker 06

  El Gran, El Gran Santo Juan. Uh, that is a Yoruba Nigerian deity, part of witchcraft.

• 1:50:03Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:50:06Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, that looks fun.

• 1:50:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yup.

• 1:50:08Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, I've seen this.

• 1:50:11Kurt Metzger?

  So it's like when Madonna does Kabala, there's like a rich black people version of it too. Well, that's boule shit. That's the talented tenth. That's a black Illuminati. Yeah.

• 1:50:22Speaker 06

  Well, just like when Lady Gaga's on the Tonight Show and she says, I swear to Lucifer.

• 1:50:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right. And I, I, by the way, I think Lucifer is actually like Nimrod, Apollo, not even a fucking, it's certainly not Satan. Wait, um, so-

• 1:50:37Speaker 06

  No, no, no, no. See, that's the thing right there. Like, when we did the outreach program with the Catholic Church at St. Thomas More, um, me and my brother were able to go on three exorcisms.

• 1:50:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:50Speaker 06

  And I'll nev- I'll never do it again, but-

• 1:50:53Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:50:54Speaker 06

  Uh,

• 1:50:57Speaker 06

  well, after we went to the second one, me and my brother, we all, we both had the same dream of us murdering our grandmother.

• 1:51:05Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck.

• 1:51:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yo.

• 1:51:07Speaker 06

  And then, and then, uh, we had an experience where we went with the father. Every exorcist goes with a medic- with medical people, security, um, and a backup or like a intern, somebody that's studying. And, uh, we, we seen a small child say that we are Legion.

• 1:51:34Duncan Trussell?

  Hmm.

• 1:51:35Speaker 06

  Um, the child knew things about me and my brother that was no way the child could know. Um, it's, the child spoke in different languages. And this is a small child. The child was able to grab me by my hoodie and pull me down to her in a chair and I couldn't just overpower, so, yeah.

• 1:51:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. So like there's some risk of contagion or the hitchhiker effect when you get around stuff like that.

• 1:52:06Speaker 06

  Yeah. If you're not spiritually sound, you can become possessed.

• 1:52:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it seems dangerous to be around an exorcism.

• 1:52:16Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's definitely dangerous.

• 1:52:19Kurt Metzger?

  You know what I had somebody tell me?

• 1:52:21Speaker 06

  What?

• 1:52:21Kurt Metzger?

  There's a dude who's a comic. I gotta, in fact, I gotta get him on this show, but there's a comic that you may or may not know him. But he's been there at an exorcism like that and not because he, it was like they, it was in South America. They asked him to like help hold this guy. And, um, and they, and so he, so this is just an interesting thing to me. He said that, so there's some woman there, some old lady psychic, you know? Uh, which that's not particularly impressive, but I was just like, and she could, but she could see the, the thing on you supposedly. So I go, well, what does it look like? And he said that she described it as a black, not that it's a snake, but like a shape, snake shaped.

• 1:52:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:00Kurt Metzger?

  Pitch black wrapped around his spine is what it looked like.

• 1:53:03Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, when I was a kid, my parents gave me an exorcism. No joke.

• 1:53:06Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:53:07Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, they thought I was possessed.

• 1:53:09Kurt Metzger?

  Did you tell him you were gonna be a rapper or something?

• 1:53:10Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:53:11Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, why they think you're possessed?

• 1:53:13Duncan Trussell?

  They just, I was exhibiting these traits and you know what happened during the exorcism?

• 1:53:16Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:53:17Duncan Trussell?

  I came out of my body.

• 1:53:19Kurt Metzger?

  What the fuck? I, first time hearing this.

• 1:53:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:22Kurt Metzger?

  Who's Andrew Vickers? Why is that up? Who's that? Isn't that the comedian? Oh, yes, it was Andrew Vickers. That's the comic who, he's like super Catholic and-

• 1:53:31Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, what's Andrew Vickers? What?

• 1:53:33Kurt Metzger?

  He's a cop, that's the guy that was telling me that.

• 1:53:35Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:53:35Kurt Metzger?

  He assisted in the exorcism.

• 1:53:37Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:53:38Kurt Metzger?

  Holding down some, but the point is that the real interesting part to me is I go, was, because I just want to know what the shit thing looks like. And I had never heard that before. A black snake wrapped around your spine, but that would add up with your chakras and what have you. And even in Kabala horse shit, that's the thing that tells you, like the serpent's trying to make you think you are it.

• 1:53:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:53:59Kurt Metzger?

  When you're young and when you're old, you think it is God. That's a Zohar thing or something, which let's say it's just poetry. I think there's something to it. Cause you're not those things. You're your choices.

• 1:54:09Duncan Trussell?

  Big homie, what do you think about this Lindsay Clancy trial? Because when I see this shit, this woman who's strangled her kids, you know, I feel like if that's not demonic possession, what is?

• 1:54:23Speaker 06

  Well, demonic possession is often considered schizophrenia and Western culture.

• 1:54:29Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:54:32Speaker 06

  It's just, that's just the bottom line.

• 1:54:34Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, if you just are a polymath, that's called schizophrenia now. That's a fucking slang, schizo.

• 1:54:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 1:54:41Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you know about more than one thing? You must be a fucking schizo.

• 1:54:44Duncan Trussell?

  Kim Trail's your schizo.

• 1:54:46Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, skim, there's, that, I made fun of them people that said that.

• 1:54:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:51Kurt Metzger?

  Well, they are real. They call it geoengineering.

• 1:54:53Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:54:53Kurt Metzger?

  Much like UFOs that they now call UAPs.

• 1:54:56Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:54:57Kurt Metzger?

  Why would you have to change your name unless you, or with Trump, would they have to get them on? Some name they had to make up because they're guilty of all those other things, like, but not the Epstein shit he did fucking do.

• 1:55:11Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:55:11Kurt Metzger?

  Of course.

• 1:55:13Duncan Trussell?

  They're telling us we have to rap soon.

• 1:55:15Kurt Metzger?

  What's happening? Tanner, you gotta get, you got some weird Filipino thing to do? Banana knife classes or something?

• 1:55:22Speaker 06

  Banana knife is hilarious.

• 1:55:24Kurt Metzger?

  I've, I've been around Filipinos, okay? I know about-

• 1:55:27Duncan Trussell?

  You don't have to take it to the most vile racist place every time.

• 1:55:31Kurt Metzger?

  Andrew Wilson's course that I took said that's how you win. And I did win. And I dominated you and you got destroyed. And that will be reflected in the thumbnail.

• 1:55:39Duncan Trussell?

  You beat him. That's true.

• 1:55:41Kurt Metzger?

  And you could learn how to do that too with the mystery boys. Okay. We do have to rap soon. All right. Big homie CC, thank you for calling in. I'm gonna talk to, uh, Dogface. So big homie recommended another guy, Dogface, that we're gonna talk to.

• 1:55:53Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, cool.

• 1:55:54Kurt Metzger?

  Um.

• 1:55:55Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Y'all gonna do some big things. That dude, he, he, he's legit and he's gonna, he's gonna make it happen for you.

• 1:56:01Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, sir.

• 1:56:02Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like Saint Christopher with a dog face. Come on. Uh.

• 1:56:05Speaker 06

  Dogface Calderon.

• 1:56:08Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, all right, man. Thanks for calling in, big homie. I, I, good to hear from you and, uh, that's all.

• 1:56:12Duncan Trussell?

  Great to hear from you again, big homie.

• 1:56:14Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:56:15Duncan Trussell?

  Damn, are you fucking shitting me?

• 1:56:17Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, is that?

• 1:56:18Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry, big homie. Oh, no. Oh, no.

• 1:56:21Kurt Metzger?

  Stupid fucking buster that Tanner's friend from school, I thought, but I don't know. Somebody told me he's related to Andrew Wilson. Now, we can't confirm that, but I know he's a good debater, this whole shit. Wait, what? He's just coming. Don't fall for him.

• 1:56:36Duncan Trussell?

  Are you?

• 1:56:37Kurt Metzger?

  You think that's real?

• 1:56:38Duncan Trussell?

  Buster, you piece of shit.

• 1:56:40Kurt Metzger?

  Buster, I hope it's real. You son of a bitch.

• 1:56:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I was just, you know, having some fun up in the rafters. Sorry, guys.

• 1:56:46Kurt Metzger?

  All right. Big homie, thank you. They, this is, uh, nonsense that is not pertain to you, but it's this piece of shit buster we've had on the show. Who's that? That's not Andrew Wilson I'm talking about. Who's that blonde guy?

• 1:56:58Duncan Trussell?

  Who is that blonde guy? Zoom in on him real quick. I didn't finish.

• 1:57:02Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, can you unstrap his shoulder harness so he does hang this fucking dirty fucking-

• 1:57:06Duncan Trussell?

  God, that's disgusting, Buster. Come on, man. What are you doing? What?

• 1:57:11Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, there's Andrew Wilson. Talk about a hero.

• 1:57:14Duncan Trussell?

  God, you tied this so tight I can't get it off, Buster. Jesus, you're rock hard.

• 1:57:20Kurt Metzger?

  All right, well, we're gonna have to wrap this up. Wait, is big homie still on the line? Big homie, uh, thanks, man. Uh, he hung up. He's gone. Oh, thank, okay. Cause I was, I, honest to God, I don't want my black friends to have to see this weird gay shit Buster does.

• 1:57:32Duncan Trussell?

  This is the humiliation ritual.

• 1:57:33Kurt Metzger?

  You know, look, I'm white dude, so, and I hang out with big- Yeah. You, you, you could try to say I'm not, but I am.

• 1:57:41Duncan Trussell?

  You're not. Everyone knows you're not.

• 1:57:43Kurt Metzger?

  People try to take it away from me.

• 1:57:44Duncan Trussell?

  You're not.

• 1:57:45Kurt Metzger?

  But white is as white does is what my mama said. Is what my dark, dark mother said.

• 1:57:50Duncan Trussell?

  Well.

• 1:57:50Kurt Metzger?

  My brown, tan, tan mother told me that white is as white does. Um, and this piece of shit, uh, Buster, he's just gonna come if you do that. That's the worst part with him. The worst part of this fucking scumbag.

• 1:58:05Duncan Trussell?

  Push me again. Oh, oh, oh, here we go.

• 1:58:09Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah. He likes it. That's the thing. I wish I knew that before we took him in, into the restroom for a poop.

• 1:58:14Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, damn, I can fly.

• 1:58:20Kurt Metzger?

  Um, anyway, there's a lot to digest today. I want to thank Diet Coke, uh...

• 1:58:25Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, thank you so... Thanks for having me on, guys. Don't forget, this is America's drink. Don't succumb to CCP propaganda.

• 1:58:33Kurt Metzger?

  Not Coke, what are you, a fat fuck? Get Diet Coke. There's no sugar in it.

• 1:58:36Duncan Trussell?

  It's very healthy, very good for you.

• 1:58:39Kurt Metzger?

  Mick Jagger drinks it, and he wants it all the time.

• 1:58:41Duncan Trussell?

  Look at him, he's like 700 years old.

• 1:58:42Kurt Metzger?

  See John Mulaney's set about it on that one special? Where he explains, "The guy needs a Diet Coke. It's the drink of champions."

• 1:58:50Duncan Trussell?

  And this is for you.

• 1:58:52Kurt Metzger?

  A little bit of clavicular blood in your Diet Coke? That's a fun recipe too, by the way. Oh my god. Guy's got the best hips in the business.

• 1:59:00Duncan Trussell?

  If you want to follow Professor Zhang, just go to ccp.edu.

• 1:59:05Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, and Big Homie is in Kenya. Uh, I don't think you should seek him out. He has to go to Kenya frequently for, uh, explaining, uh... That Bigfoot thing, I think, is the most explosive knowledge that he has. Even though, he has a lot of explosive knowledge.

• 1:59:21Duncan Trussell?

  He's an amazing man, and I'm so grateful to you, Big Homie, for being here. Guys, don't forget to pray for Janet Weasley. And remember, you are alive.

• 1:59:31Kurt Metzger?

  And don't think that you're involved in his orgasm, because you're not. And I'm not.

• 1:59:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, they are.

• 1:59:36Kurt Metzger?

  That's his fucking thing, and it's got nothing to do with me. So, and no, you're not going to gaslight this audience, you're not going to gaslight me.

• 1:59:43Duncan Trussell?

  Don't look at me. No one can see me when I come, I'm invisible.

• 1:59:47Kurt Metzger?

  I, I, I just am absolutely repulsed. And I, I can't see anything, actually.

• 1:59:51Duncan Trussell?

  Alright, that's disgusting. Let's get out of here.

• 1:59:54Kurt Metzger?

  Fuck you, Buster!

• 1:59:55Duncan Trussell?

  You're disgusting.

• 1:59:57Kurt Metzger?

  You ruined the whole thing!

• 1:59:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I'm a naughty boy.

• 2:00:00Kurt Metzger?

  That's it. I'm going to fuck this dude up. Dude, you just pushed it way too far. Oh shit, I hurt my knee.

• 2:00:09Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah!

• 2:00:10Kurt Metzger?

  Ah!

• 2:00:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah!

• 2:00:14Kurt Metzger?

  Fuck you, Buster!

• 2:00:15Duncan Trussell?

  Don't do that again!

• 2:00:16Kurt Metzger?

  Cut this!

• 2:00:17Duncan Trussell?

  Don't do that again!

• 2:00:18Kurt Metzger?

  Cut that, you cut it now!

• 2:00:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, cut this shit. Fuck you, Buster!

• 2:00:22Kurt Metzger?

  I wanted to fight, you saw it.

• 2:00:22Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking nasty.