It’s Really That Simple | Ask DS

Sometimes we are so stuck, so in our own heads, so down on our luck that improvement–let alone a full recovery–seems impossible. Our business has been slowing down. We’re not throwing the ball like we used to. Our significant other walked out after 20 years of marriage. What do we do? Well, first thing is we don’t despair.---And in today's Ask Daily Stoic, Ryan answers questions about the Stoics of modern times who he admires, whether or not we should try to reconcile the flaws of the Stoics, how to exercise your Stoicism on a daily basis, and more.✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. Well, on Thursdays, we not only read the daily meditation, but we answer some questions from listeners and fellow Stoics who are trying to apply this philosophy just as you are. Some of these come from my talks, some of these come from Zoom sessions that we do with Daily Stoic Life members, or as part of the challenges. Some of them are from interactions I have on the street when there happened to be someone there recording. But thank you for listening, and we hope this is of use to you.

• 0:45Ryan Holiday?

  It's really that simple. Sometimes we are so stuck, so in our own heads, so down on our own luck, that improvement, let alone a full recovery, seems impossible. Our business has been slowing down. We're not throwing the ball like we used to. Our significant other walked out after 20 years of marriage. What do we do? Well, first thing is that we don't despair. There's a lot of things we don't control in life, but our attitude is something that is up to us. Giving up is up to us. And then next, we do what Super Bowl-winning NFL coach Sean Payton is getting ready to do in Denver. The Broncos had an absolutely terrible year last year, especially at the quarterback position, which is held

• 1:30Ryan Holiday?

  by future Hall of Famer Russell Wilson. Number one job for us coaches, he explained in his first press conference, is evaluating players and what are the things they do well, and let's try to put them in those positions, highlight their strengths, and minimize their weaknesses. We discussed this very approach on the Daily Stoic Podcast recently with Chicago Cubs Golden Glove left fielder Ian Happ. It seems almost too simple that at a high level, a coach would just look at what's working well and what isn't, and then design an offense that does more of the former and less of the latter. But that's really it. That's what champions do. It's what turnaround consultants and businesses do.

• 2:13Ryan Holiday?

  It's how Epictetus boiled down the entirety of his philosophy. It was as simple as two words. He said, "Prestise and resist." That is, keep doing the stuff that's good and stop doing the stuff that's bad. Last year might have been an abysmal season. Your sales might be in the tank. You might feel like your relationship is falling apart. Don't despair. Look at what is working. Look at what isn't. Explore why it's working and figure out how to get more consistent with it. Go towards your strengths. And then, when you're operating from a position of strength, apply that energy towards improving your weaknesses.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Here's an interesting question. Ryan, in 2022, who would you say is the best example of a Stoic?

• 3:09Ryan Holiday?

  Yeah, look, I wish I could give you a long list of Stoics. And I think part of the reason we're in the mess that we're in is that there aren't nearly enough examples. So that's why I tend to look to the past. Certainly, less controversial, a little less politically charged. But I did just read, I read Katie Martin's biography of Angela Merkel. Again, I don't know enough about German politics to get too, you know, to have too much of a strong opinion. But I found there to be some very Stoic ideas

• 3:53Ryan Holiday?

  running through Merkel's career, right down to a little paperweight she has on her desk that just says, "Calmness is strength." And I found that to be a very Stoic, very Stoic idea that unfortunately, a lot of our leaders these days don't ascribe to.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Certainly an example of a great leader, for sure. Here's another interesting question. How do we reconcile the persecution of Christians during the reign of Marcus Aurelius and his understanding of justice?

• 4:25Ryan Holiday?

  Yeah, I don't think we do. It was, the Stoic persecution of the Christians is an abomination. It's a shameful, it's a shameful thing, just as the...

• 4:38Ryan Holiday?

  Many of their wars of conquest and the widespread acceptance of slavery is. It's particularly bad. Marcus Aurelius's philosophy teacher, Junius Rusticus, who he makes effectively the mayor of Rome, is the one who adjudicates and then sentences to death and persecution just in martyr. So even the concept of martyrdom comes to us from the Stoic persecutions. Now, I guess we could, we could look at the fact that the Stoics themselves were persecuted under many of the prior and previous emperors.

• 5:17Ryan Holiday?

  You know, we could say that it was a misunderstanding, that it was a clash of religions and understandings. I think, I think it's just inexplicable. It was wrong. And, but again, I think my impulse is not to go, how are the Stoics hypocrites because of this example or that example? And I try to go, you know, how can I reconcile my understanding of Stoicism and, you know, these socks that I'm wearing and where they were probably produced? Right? And so I try ultimately to just try to get a little bit better in my life. I try to become a little bit more ethical, try to, try to practice justice as best I

• 6:02Ryan Holiday?

  can in my own decisions and actions. And I think we shouldn't be afraid to question or criticize or, or, you know, indict entirely the mistakes of, of, of the past. I think one of the things we're reckoning with in the United States is our inability to look at things that this country has done and go, I don't like that, that was wrong, and not be so identified with things that people we've never even met did. And, and our failure to do that prevents us from not just learning from it and rectifying those wrongs, but also, I think, makes it more likely that we'll do those things again in the future.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  Some say the Age of Enlightenment began as a result of the moral and philosophical implications of the Industrial Revolution. How can we find ways in our current society to help guide people towards focusing on Stoicism instead of conflict and division during such times of uncertainty and fear?

• 7:02Ryan Holiday?

  You know, that question might be a little bit above my pay grade. I'm not sure I have a good answer. I think the Stoic, you know, the simplest Stoic action, and I have a quote on my wall from Marcus Aurelius, he says, "Let us waste no more time talking about what a good person is like, just be one." You know, I think the very simplest, basic level, what's most in our control is what behaviors, values, and ideas are we modeling in our own day-to-day life, particularly in front of our children, or the people who work for and with us, or, you know, live near us.

• 7:45Ryan Holiday?

  To me, that's where we probably will have the most impact evangelizing or spreading these ideas that we're talking about.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  This one's an interesting one. While Amor Parti encourages our indifference and acceptance of events and outcomes outside of our control, how did the Stoics approach preferences in the sense of preferred versus dispreferred indifference?

• 8:10Ryan Holiday?

  Yeah, this gets a little into the weeds about Stoics, but, you know, the Stoics talk about the idea of being indifferent, like, don't care, accept whatever it is. But then Seneca and some of the other Stoics come up with a little semantic twist, they say, "But there are also preferred indifference." So that's indifference with a T, preferred indifference, meaning, "It's probably better to be rich than poor," he says. It's not being rich or poor, it doesn't say anything about you, but if you had to choose, you'd probably choose to have more resources than less resources. Just as he said, you know, you'd probably prefer to be tall than short, to have both

• 8:52Ryan Holiday?

  your eyes than only one eye, or, you know, both, all your working limbs compared to only one working limb. So I think for the Stoics, the idea is like indifference means, "I'm good, whatever the cards are, right? I'm gonna play whatever the hand I'm dealt is." But still, if you had to choose, or if you're sitting there hoping, you know, you want to be dealt a good hand, or you want to be dealt a hand with the most options. And I think that's, that's the idea with strategy, right? Or, or, or, or any sort of position, uh, uh, uh, in any sort of leadership position, which is that, um, you're probably not going to get to choose, um, but, uh,

• 9:37Ryan Holiday?

  you want to choose the path with the most optionality as possible, right? Your job is, there's, there's all the constraints of the situation you're in, but, um, you know, you want to choose optionality where you have it. So that's kind of how I think about that.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  We have two similar questions, so, uh, and they relate to you personally.

• 9:57Ryan Holiday?

  Okay.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  What are the exercises, uh, or personal, uh, what do you do in your personal life to, to make your more reasonable self, uh, more accessible in times of stress? Uh, uh, so you're, you're less reactive, uh, what tools do you use?

• 10:13Ryan Holiday?

  To me, the biggest one, and I think the, the most stoic sort of practical philosophical exercise is journaling. Uh, Meditations, Remarkers, Realist is effectively a journal. Um, but, uh, you know, paper, as they say, is more patient than people. I like to put my thoughts down, have a little distance from them, have reflective, quiet time, whether it's in the morning or the evening, where I sit down and I just think, and I get it all out on the page. So I'm not carrying it around, so I'm not vomiting it on other people. So I'm working through the ideas, I'm reminding myself of what I believe. Like something like a gratitude journal, what's so effective about that is, um, you're just, by forcing you to say, "I am grateful for this",

• 10:57Ryan Holiday?

  you are reminding yourself explicitly that that's a thing to feel good about, and that you feel grateful for it. And, and just the process of doing that, repeating it, reminding it to yourself, kind of like a mantra, or, or just working it out, is, is just really beneficial. So if I had one philosophical practice to leave you with, it would be journaling. I know that doesn't, you know, it's probably not as magical as meditation, but it is a meditative experience for me, and it's helped me through a lot of difficult times.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Thank you. I think that's something that's accessible to most folks.

• 11:31Ryan Holiday?

  Uh huh.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Here's a tough one to close this out.

• 11:34Ryan Holiday?

  Alright.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Okay. Do you not need an objective and preferably true source of what constitutes right and just? If not, is not everything then relative and justice simply boils down to each of our own opinions? What is just?

• 11:54Ryan Holiday?

  Yeah. I think. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what that source would be. I gather from the question that they probably do have a sense of what that source is.

• 12:11Ryan Holiday?

  But I think sometimes we can overthink these things and end up almost in a place of nihilism. Like, how do you know? What about this? What about that? When really what I think society needs more of is those sort of basic, almost cliche values of decency and humanity and honesty,

• 12:39Ryan Holiday?

  charity, kindness, you know. So, what is the source of that? What makes it good? How do you know? Yeah, look, it gets really complicated. We could sit here and talk about the trolley problem and twist ourselves into knots and not know what's good or bad or right or wrong. But I also think we, and I think this is a Stoic idea, there is like an inherently...

• 13:07Ryan Holiday?

  The Stoics talk about living in accordance with nature. I think there is a natural sense of goodness and justice in us. The problem is stuff gets in the way. We always have our reasons. We always have the ability to overthink it. We always have our self-interest. But if we can just get a little bit closer to that, I think it would make a difference in the world.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  I think it's an interesting line of inquiry. And if we're trying to keep in line with nature, maybe looking towards stuff like evolutionary psychology or behavior primates and that sort of thing might help us point towards some of those answers.

• 13:47Ryan Holiday?

  I think that's right.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  It's definitely interesting. And I don't think there's any short answers that we can get to in three minutes.

• 13:55Ryan Holiday?

  I don't either.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Do you think you understand the story you are living in? Your personal myth?

• 14:03Ryan Holiday?

  That's a good question. I try not to think of life in terms of story or narrative because I find it to be a little misleading or disorienting. You know, if you, if you, one of my favorite novels is The Moviegoer. One of my favorite books about Los Angeles is this book Ask the Dust by John Fonte. The people who believe they're living in some epic movie or novel tend to be very egotistical, often preposterously delusional or silly. You know, it's sort of an aggrandizing, over-dramatic, grandiose way of living. I try to live more in the moment.

• 14:46Ryan Holiday?

  I try to live day to day. I try to live sort of objectively. I try to strip things of all of that narrative and just sort of see them for what they are. I don't think that means that nothing matters and it's all meaningless. I think it's the opposite of that. But I do, I do try to generally resist that kind of idea of my life is a story or something like that. I just try to, just try to do what I need to do day to day.