Pod Insights The Mel Robbins Podcast 7 Longevity Secrets From My Rockstar 85 Year Old Mother-in-Law | The Mel Robbins Podcast About this episode Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them.
—
In this episode, you will meet Judie, a total badass who has it all figured out, from killer biceps to fulfilling friendships to staying mentally sharp, spunky, and sexy. She’s got it all together.
Who is Judie? She’s my 85-year-old mother-in-law.
You don’t need a library full of books filled with the science of staying young forever. Today you are getting the cliff notes for living a long, happy, healthy, fulfilling, and purposeful life.
She will teach you:
- The reason moments of joy are fleeting for you and how to make them last longer
- The most important relationship you need to foster in your life
- The surprising thing you can do this week to create purpose in your life
- Why you need friends that are younger AND older than you
- How to create a killer morning routine that fuels your busy life
- The 3 ways to keep your mind young at any age
- The reason YOU need to be the first one to pick up the phone
Today Judie is sharing her 7 secrets to #longevity and coaching you on how to get the life you deserve. She spills her no-BS secrets on how to take care of your mind, body, and relationships.
Backed by research and 80 years of experience, her love of life and ability to embrace moments of joy and give back are what make her such an inspiration.
I am so excited to introduce this wonderful person to you. I want you to take a page out of her playbook.
You’re never too young or too old to start living life the way you want.
And it is NEVER too late to be the badass you were meant to be.
Xo, Mel
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
04:47 How to create a killer morning routine that fuels your busy life
09:44 One mantra that you need for purposeful intention
10:58 When Judie first started working out (it’s not too late)
12:23 Judie’s #1 for feeling less depressed and isolated as you age
12:58 Why you need friends that are younger AND older than you
14:34 The surprising thing you can do this week to create purpose in your life
17:10 The reason YOU need to be the first one to pick up the phone
19:51 The 3 ways to keep your mind young at any age
21:58 How to maintain the motivation to move every day
28:25 The most important relationship you need to foster in your life
33:17 How you can really “stay young at heart”
40:24 How to get the life you deserve and live the way you want
#liveyourbestlife #livewithpurpose
—
Follow Mel:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/
TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins
Website: http://melrobbins.com
—
Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter
A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want.
—
Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1
—
Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday!
https://melrob.co/spotify
https://melrob.co/applepodcasts
https://melrob.co/amazonmusic
—
Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here:
The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe
The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp
The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ
The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Mel Robbins? Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
0:08 Mel Robbins? I am so excited for today's conversation because we're going to talk about longevity. And by longevity, I don't mean how do you live forever? I mean, how do you live a long, vibrant, connected, happy, healthy, and purpose-driven life? How do you do that? What are the guidelines, the keys, the secrets? What are the mistakes that people make that prevent them from doing that? And in order for us to really dig into this topic in a fun and entertaining and helpful way, I thought, why don't I just track down the most badass woman that I know in terms of somebody who's in their 80s? Who am I talking about? I'm talking about my mother-in-law, Judy Robbins.
0:51 Mel Robbins? Every single time I post some photo with her or some video with her on social media, you guys hammer me with questions. "How does she have biceps and a six-pack at the age of 82? How can she hold a plank for 2 minutes and 30 seconds?" That is true. In fact, we were in bar class the other day and we walk in and I go and grab the five-pound weights. She freaking grabs the eight-pound weights. Show off. No, I'm joking, but seriously, I have been so impressed because she has been a widow since she was 69 years old and she lives her life in a way that makes me want to be as connected and happy and optimistic and vibrant as she is at the age of 85.
1:36 Mel Robbins? She inspires me and you guys ask a lot of questions about her secrets every time you see her. In fact, I posted a photo of my family holding her up like a little doll, she's so petite, at our daughter's graduation and she had just taken a gummy and was dancing with us at a graduation party. I mean, she's just an absolute hoot and I'm not the only one who feels that way. Her friends feel that way about her and everywhere we go, people are stunned that she is as old as she is because she doesn't act that way and she doesn't look like it. And so I thought, you know what? Let's get her on the podcast. Let's answer your questions and let's dig into what she believes are the habits,
2:20 Mel Robbins? the mindset tricks, and the values and priorities in her life that have led to living such an incredible life in the last chapter of her life. I mean, how amazing would it be for us all to wake up at the age of 85 and truly, authentically feel like the best days are in front of us? Because you know what? With small changes, they can and they should be. And that's what we're going to dig in today. So ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, meet my friend and my mother-in-law, Judy Janks-Robins. Welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. So there's a lot to cover, but I just have to have some highlights here.
3:03 Mel Robbins? So how old were you when you ran your first marathon with me?
3:06 Speaker 01 Seventy.
3:07 Mel Robbins? How old were you when you jumped out of an airplane for the first time?
3:11 Speaker 01 Eighty-one.
3:14 Mel Robbins? You're over 31 years older than me, Judy. And the woman rocks a bikini. She has a six-pack. She's got just ridiculously cut biceps. She exercises every day. She has more fun than anybody that I know. And she has an enormous group of friends. And I want to know, like, what is it? Where do we even want to start? Like, to me, you are a complete badass. So maybe what we should do is divide this into a bunch of questions, okay? Hold on, I'm starting to get hot. I gotta turn these.
3:48 Speaker 01 See, I'm having a hot flash. I'm past that stage. Thank God, I'm past that.
3:55 Mel Robbins? Well, let's boil it down to what you do every morning. What's a day in the life of Judy Robbins look like?
4:03 Speaker 01 You want to know specifically?
4:04 Mel Robbins? Yeah, what time do you wake up?
4:05 Speaker 01 I wake up very early because I'm old. And you do when you're, when you're, when you get old, you wake up too early. I have a sauna in my house. So I go downstairs, I turn my sauna on. Then I make myself...
4:25 Speaker 01 Water and the orange, you know, 1,000, you know, those packets.
4:32 Mel Robbins? Oh, you have an emergency?
4:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:33 Mel Robbins? Okay.
4:34 Speaker 01 I have an emergency in water.
4:35 Mel Robbins? Okay, vitamin C, last.
4:37 Speaker 01 Then I make myself a nice latte.
4:40 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
4:40 Speaker 01 I get back in bed.
4:43 Mel Robbins? God, okay.
4:44 Speaker 01 I have, I can do that now, you know? I don't have kids running around. And, and then I go through my mail.
4:50 Mel Robbins? In bed?
4:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, on my phone.
4:53 Mel Robbins? You go through your mail on your phone?
4:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:57 Mel Robbins? Oh, you mean your email?
4:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:58 Mel Robbins? You are doing the exact opposite of what I tell people to do, by the way. Keep going.
5:02 Speaker 01 And I play one hand a bridge.
5:05 Mel Robbins? On your phone?
5:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, on my phone, it's a practice hand.
5:08 Mel Robbins? Okay.
5:08 Speaker 01 I never seem to win, but I play it every morning. Then I go downstairs, I get in the sauna. I have a mantra that I, actually, it's a fairly new mantra that I've learned from a woman up here, which is mind blowing.
5:23 Mel Robbins? Now, hold on a second. When you go in the sauna, are you wearing a towel? Are you completely nude? You're completely nude?
5:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:29 Mel Robbins? Okay. Now, do you wax at your age? You just let the hair grow? Do you shave? Do you grow hair at your age down there?
5:36 Speaker 01 No, you lose hair.
5:37 Mel Robbins? You do down there?
5:37 Speaker 01 I have no hair under my arms.
5:40 Mel Robbins? Really?
5:40 Speaker 01 And not much between my legs.
5:42 Mel Robbins? Okay.
5:46 Speaker 01 So, I don't need to have a Brazilian.
5:48 Mel Robbins? Yes, no, you don't. I'll never forget when we had our kids up here visiting you one summer. Kendall was here with a couple of her friends. I think they must have been 11 years old, right? Do you remember the memory I'm talking about?
6:02 Speaker 01 No, I don't.
6:03 Mel Robbins? You guys were all at the pond and they were skinny dipping in the middle of the day, in the sun, in the pond here in Vermont. And you stripped right down in front of them. And they stared at you because they saw that your pubic hair was gray. And they were like, huh!
6:22 Mel Robbins? I've always admired that about you, how you are such a free spirit.
6:27 Speaker 01 Well, you know, why not? I mean, what am I, I have nothing to hide.
6:31 Mel Robbins? That's true.
6:32 Speaker 01 You know, and I think, don't we all want to be with people that are real? You know, there's so many people that you can spend time with and you just say to yourself, "Just be honest with me."
6:46 Mel Robbins? Right.
6:47 Speaker 01 You know?
6:47 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
6:48 Speaker 01 Tell me what you're really thinking, not what you're talking about.
6:51 Mel Robbins? Yep, true.
6:52 Speaker 01 Anyway.
6:53 Mel Robbins? So we're back in the sauna.
6:54 Speaker 01 Okay, so I meditate in the sauna for like 15, 20 minutes.
6:59 Mel Robbins? And what's your new mantra? Are you allowed to share it?
7:01 Speaker 01 Sure. It's called Satama Na. And they sing it first. They go, "Satama Na, Satama Na." And they do that for probably 25 times and then they whisper it. "Satama Na." And then they do it silently in your head. And while you're doing it, you use your hands.
7:31 Mel Robbins? What do you do with your hands?
7:31 Speaker 01 Satama Na.
7:34 Mel Robbins? Oh, so you do the fingertips. Satama Na. And you touch your first finger, then the second to your thumb.
7:41 Speaker 01 Now, the woman that teaches it here in Manchester.
7:44 Mel Robbins? Yep.
7:45 Speaker 01 She's a yoga teacher, but she has taught this all over the world to people with Alzheimer's and dementia, and has actually proven that she can stimulate your brain if you continually do that every single day.
8:04 Mel Robbins? Well, I don't doubt it. I mean, if you, if you listen to some of the brain experts, you're basically talking about what I believe is called, I'm going to forget the name. It's neurobics, where you are combining a intentional thought with a physical movement.
8:24 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
8:24 Mel Robbins? And it's one of the fastest ways to create new neural pathways. It's a whole field of study called neurobics, and that's That's what you're doing.
8:32 Speaker 01 That's what I'm doing.
8:33 Mel Robbins? You're basically pairing intentional thought with a physical movement of touching your, each one of your fingers to your thumb.
8:39 Speaker 01 And I had my group, I have a group called the Vermont Chicks, which are my old, old friends from many, many years. And we were up here in your gym.
8:49 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
8:49 Speaker 01 And we had her over here for a private class. And now every one of my friends is doing it.
8:55 Mel Robbins? Wow.
8:56 Speaker 01 Every morning.
8:57 Mel Robbins? Wow. And what do you notice when you do it for yourself personally?
9:01 Speaker 01 I don't know. I think I'm convincing myself that I'm remembering more things.
9:09 Speaker 01 I don't know. It's, it's all in your mind, right?
9:12 Mel Robbins? It is true. Or it's not in your mind. Okay. So then after the sauna, what do you do?
9:18 Speaker 01 Then I come upstairs and I make myself a kombucha, apple cider vinegar, and a fresh squeezed orange juice.
9:24 Mel Robbins? Okay. Like all together?
9:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:26 Mel Robbins? That's one thing. That's similar to the farmer's swish, switzel, swishel, something switzel, switcher, something like that, that my grandmother used to drink and my mom drinks, which is hot water, apple cider vinegar, a little bit of honey, and some lemon.
9:41 Speaker 01 Well, you have to mix apple cider vinegar with something because it tastes terrible.
9:44 Mel Robbins? Yes. Okay. So now we've got our day done.
9:47 Speaker 01 And no, then I go and walk for five miles.
9:50 Mel Robbins? Okay. Now, this I think is really important. How long have you walked five miles a day?
9:56 Speaker 01 Well, I used to run. I used to be a runner.
9:59 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
9:59 Speaker 01 And I think I stopped running, I don't know, when I was like 75.
10:07 Speaker 01 And then started walking.
10:08 Mel Robbins? Okay. When did you start running? A lot of the questions that we get because you're so physically fit and you look so young, I mean, you're gonna be 86 and most people peg you in your early 70s. And have you ever had any, like, facelifts?
10:27 Speaker 01 Every now and then I'll have, you know, a shot here and there, but not very, not very often. I have been lucky that way. I've never had a facelift, no.
10:34 Mel Robbins? Wow. So you walk five miles. And you have walked five miles a day since I've known you. And we've known each other almost 30 years. And you get really grouchy if you don't get your walk in.
10:50 Speaker 01 If I don't exercise, I do get grouchy. But don't you?
10:55 Mel Robbins? Well, some days.
11:00 Speaker 01 Well, when things become a habit and you can't do it, it makes you kind of, you know, upset.
11:08 Mel Robbins? Yes.
11:08 Speaker 01 Because it's something that you want to do and it's part of your routine.
11:12 Mel Robbins? It's what makes you feel like yourself.
11:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly.
11:14 Mel Robbins? So I think this is a really important thing because you have walked or run five miles a day since I've known you. And that is a core habit. And what do you notice about your, about people that you know your age, who have continued or who are mobile versus people who are more sedentary?
11:40 Speaker 01 Well, I think people that are more sedentary at my age.
11:43 Mel Robbins? Yep.
11:44 Speaker 01 I think they're depressed. I mean, I have a lot of older friends that would not even admit that they're depressed. But they don't go out or they don't, you know, there's always something wrong. You know, I would have done so and so today, but look at the day, it's raining.
12:03 Mel Robbins? Yep.
12:03 Speaker 01 As if raining has anything to do with their day.
12:07 Mel Robbins? Yeah, it's true.
12:09 Speaker 01 But I have a lot of younger friends. And that's very important as you get older to have a lot of younger friends. I have a lot of friends. That's also very important. I think being social is almost more important than exercise.
12:24 Mel Robbins? Why?
12:26 Speaker 01 Because it makes you feel loved. And if you can wake up every day and know that you've got people that love you, you feel good about yourself.
12:37 Mel Robbins? We have a lot of people that write into this show who say they have no one. And if you were to talk directly to somebody who feels like they don't have anyone who loves them in their life, because I'm always surprised by the number of people who write in about this, what would your advice be about how to get started?
13:02 Speaker 01 Without skipping a beat. I would start by taking the hospice training
13:09 Mel Robbins? Oh.
13:10 Speaker 01 and go and take care of somebody. Because who you take care of is going to give you love. And it's going to make you feel so good about yourself. Even if you don't have your neighbor or your friend, if they don't love you, the person that you are taking care of will love you. It makes a very big difference. I've been doing hospice for over 40 years.
13:35 Speaker 01 And, you know, people say, "I don't know how you do that. You know, these people are dying." It is the most rewarding thing that you can do. And you know, your husband does it.
13:45 Mel Robbins? Yeah. What do you get out of it?
13:48 Speaker 01 A tremendous feeling of satisfaction that I've contributed to somebody's life. You know, like Judy, like I went and saw her this morning. And even if I only spent an hour, this is a very good friend, as you know, of mine, who has Parkinson's. You know, if I only came in for 15 minutes, she's grateful. You know? You just have to make the time. You can't say that you're too busy. And so for the people that feel very lonely, that don't have anybody that love them, they can create love by taking care of somebody else.
14:26 Mel Robbins? That is such beautiful advice. Because we do start to look outside ourselves and look for other people to fill a need. And what you're saying is the truth. Fill it for yourself first, and the way to bring more love into your life is to give it to a perfect stranger and being part of the hospice community. That's an incredible piece of advice.
14:50 Speaker 01 You know, Mel, why don't we pause right now? Okay. And then we can hear from your sponsor.
14:55 Mel Robbins? That's a good idea.
14:56 Speaker 01 Your awesome sponsor.
14:56 Mel Robbins? That's right. We'll be right back, everybody. Stay with us.
15:08 Mel Robbins? Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and I am here with my 85-year-old mother-in-law, Judy. And by the way, she's here because you wanted her here. You had so many questions about how an 85-year-old woman could be walking five miles a day and still have biceps. And so she is spilling her secrets for living a long, vibrant, and meaningful life. So Judy, tell me more about your day.
15:30 Speaker 01 Well, I'm active, obviously. I play golf, a little bit.
15:37 Mel Robbins? In fact, you played 18 holes today.
15:39 Speaker 01 And I walk. I don't take a cart.
15:43 Mel Robbins? So did you walk your five miles and then go play?
15:45 Speaker 01 No, I didn't.
15:46 Mel Robbins? Okay, because the walking 18 holes.
15:49 Speaker 01 Serves it.
15:50 Mel Robbins? Yes. Okay, so you play golf. What else do you do during the day?
15:53 Speaker 01 I play bridge.
15:55 Mel Robbins? Yep.
15:56 Speaker 01 Which I think is good for the mind.
15:57 Mel Robbins? Yep.
15:58 Speaker 01 I have an organized group that plays at my house.
16:02 Mel Robbins? Yep.
16:03 Speaker 01 I have like 40 women on the list, but I can only take 16, so I arrange them.
16:09 Mel Robbins? So you have 16 women that come and play bridge once a week at your house?
16:14 Speaker 01 Yep.
16:15 Mel Robbins? Wow, okay.
16:16 Speaker 01 And I do hospice. I go see Judy. And I try and keep in touch with my grandchildren. And it's an interesting concept, because I think that older people, and believe me, I've thought about this, why don't they call me? I'm old. Why don't my kids call me?
16:42 Mel Robbins? Right.
16:43 Speaker 01 Why don't they pick up the phone and say, you know, JJ, how are you? But because I am healthy.
16:48 Mel Robbins? Yes.
16:49 Speaker 01 And I have my own social life, they wait for me to call them. How are you? And in some ways, that's a good feeling. Rather than feeling sorry for myself that my kids don't call me.
17:08 Mel Robbins? Right.
17:09 Speaker 01 Once they start calling me, I know it's because they're worried about me. And if they're starting to worry about me, then they know something I don't.
17:16 Mel Robbins? Right. Well, I think there's a bigger takeaway for everybody, which is that...
17:23 Mel Robbins? So many people sit around and waste time and build up resentment and stress for themselves by wishing things were different or wishing more people would care. And you don't sit around and do that. You, I have witnessed, are someone who is focused on her life. And as hard as it may be as a grandparent or as a mother to sit back and go, "Oh, well, they're busy. They have busy lives. I'm not the center of their lives. They don't have to call me."
17:56 Speaker 01 Exactly.
17:57 Mel Robbins? If I want to have a closer connection, I have to create it. And so I see you in every area of your life, creating what you want. And that you don't sit around and get angry about the fact that the grandkids might not call as much as they should, or your sons might not call, or your daughter-in-laws might not call as much as you wish that they would. You've created this ability to basically give people the freedom to live their lives, to just pour the love out. And if it doesn't come back in the way that you want it to come back, in terms of the frequency of phone calls, you don't get your knickers in a pinch about it.
18:38 Mel Robbins? I don't ever call you and have you go, "Haven't heard from you in a while." I don't. And we don't talk all that often.
18:46 Speaker 01 Right.
18:47 Mel Robbins? Ever, really, on the phone.
18:48 Speaker 01 No, we don't.
18:50 Mel Robbins? I never call you.
18:51 Speaker 01 No, you don't. But I understand that.
18:55 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
18:56 Speaker 01 I mean, I get that. You're a busy woman. We text.
18:59 Mel Robbins? Yep.
19:00 Speaker 01 You know, you'll say, "Come on over," and I come.
19:02 Mel Robbins? Yep.
19:03 Speaker 01 You know, everybody has their busy life.
19:07 Mel Robbins? Yes.
19:08 Speaker 01 You just have to understand that, you know? It doesn't center around you.
19:11 Mel Robbins? Right. That's true. It's important. I noticed you're a big reader.
19:16 Speaker 01 Yes.
19:17 Mel Robbins? Do you read every single day?
19:19 Speaker 01 Yes. I listen to a book.
19:22 Mel Robbins? Yep.
19:23 Speaker 01 When I walk.
19:24 Mel Robbins? Okay.
19:25 Speaker 01 So I'm always got a book on Audible.
19:26 Mel Robbins? And why do you think that matters?
19:28 Speaker 01 Because I don't want to be in my head for all that time without something to listen to.
19:35 Mel Robbins? Oh, my.
19:37 Speaker 01 I tried that when we practiced for the marathon, remember?
19:40 Mel Robbins? Oh, God.
19:41 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, 16 miles, I was like, no, I have to listen to a book. And it gets me going.
19:47 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
19:48 Speaker 01 You know, I want to know what's happening. So as soon as I get out of the house and I start my book, I'm on my way.
19:54 Mel Robbins? Well, what's also nice about that, especially for those of you that feel like you don't have a lot of friends in your life, is that if you're listening to a book while you're out, you actually are with somebody. You're listening to the narrator, you are learning something, you're having input, which is very, very important when you're lonely. And it's active input. It's not you sitting on the couch, mainlining a series alone in your house. You're out and about and moving. And it's true, you are always listening to a book, ever since I've known you. You've had books on tape in the car.
20:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:27 Mel Robbins? Now you've got books in your ears as you walk.
20:30 Speaker 01 I try and read every afternoon for an hour or two if I can.
20:34 Mel Robbins? Wow. I want to just kind of hit some topics because I remember I took you to a bar class at this place where we rent a beach house every summer in Rhode Island. And every time we walk into a bar class, you're lifting heavier weights than me, you are super bendy and stretchy, and you're sitting there pumping the iron, and your biceps are bigger than mine, and everybody is floored that you're as old as you are. You and I once did a plank challenge. You held a plank at the age of 82 for two and a half minutes. That's incredible. And so I've got questions from listeners.
21:17 Mel Robbins? And people want to know, have you always worked out, or did you start later in life?
21:23 Speaker 01 No, I definitely started later in life, in my 30s.
21:27 Mel Robbins? You started exercising in your 30s?
21:28 Speaker 01 I had children, I didn't have, but that's exercise in itself, three kids, you know?
21:33 Mel Robbins? Yes.
21:34 Speaker 01 But no, I never had a routine. My husband and I started running in our 30s.
21:42 Mel Robbins? How do you maintain the motivation to do it every day?
21:47 Speaker 01 Guilt.
21:48 Mel Robbins? What?
21:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:50 Mel Robbins? What do you mean?
21:51 Speaker 01 You know how everybody talks about 10,000 steps?
21:55 Mel Robbins? Yes.
21:55 Speaker 01 I look at my frigging phone to see whether I've done 10,000 steps and if I haven't, I feel guilty.
22:03 Mel Robbins? Why do you... Well, this is what psychologists call good guilt. Good guilt motivates you.
22:07 Speaker 01 Yes.
22:08 Mel Robbins? Why do you think 10,000 is the magic number?
22:10 Speaker 01 I don't know. They write about that and I believe all that stuff I write.
22:13 Mel Robbins? And what's your favorite... I believe it. That's true. You read the New York Times.
22:17 Speaker 01 I do.
22:18 Mel Robbins? Yes. What's your favorite way to stay active?
22:21 Speaker 01 Well, getting up, like you say, right away and moving. Just moving. I have stairs. I have three floors. And a lot of my older friends say, "Well, you know, why would you get a condo with three floors?" Well, it's the best thing you can do. I will always walk the stairs, always. My laundry's down the lower level and my bedroom's up above.
22:45 Mel Robbins? What do you think is the biggest challenge to staying active as you age?
22:54 Speaker 01 Just making it a routine. I would think that's a challenge. Not to say, "Okay, well, I think I'll take a week off."
23:05 Speaker 01 I don't think that's a good idea.
23:06 Mel Robbins? I don't either.
23:07 Speaker 01 You take a week off, then you can take 10 days off. So I don't take days off.
23:14 Mel Robbins? What is your secret to staying young at heart and young in your mind?
23:25 Speaker 01 Staying connected. Staying connected to your friends, old friends.
23:35 Speaker 01 I've always had a man in my life. I've been very lucky about that.
23:38 Mel Robbins? Cha-cha-cha. What does that mean? I've always had a man in my life? Because how long were you married?
23:46 Speaker 01 Forty-five years. He died of cancer.
23:50 Mel Robbins? How old were you?
23:51 Speaker 01 Sixty-eight.
23:52 Mel Robbins? Okay.
23:54 Speaker 01 And about a year and a half later, I met a man.
23:58 Mel Robbins? Mm-hmm.
23:59 Speaker 01 And I thought I'd fallen in love. And my children thought it was way too early for me to have a man in my life.
24:06 Mel Robbins? I didn't feel that way.
24:07 Speaker 01 Well, you're not one of my boys.
24:09 Mel Robbins? I don't think Chris felt that way either.
24:12 Speaker 01 Well, the other two did. And, uh, but they, I don't think they remembered that Ken was sick for two years.
24:19 Mel Robbins? That's true.
24:20 Speaker 01 So, I was alone for two years, as far as having someone loving me.
24:24 Mel Robbins? Yep.
24:26 Speaker 01 So, I was with Bill for a while, and we had our differences. And after two years, we went our separate ways. And soon after that, I met another guy who is local. And, you know, Hans and I were together for ten years.
24:45 Mel Robbins? Ten years?
24:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, can you believe that?
24:47 Mel Robbins? No.
24:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, we were.
24:49 Mel Robbins? Wow.
24:51 Speaker 01 But he's the nicest, sweetest man, as you know.
24:54 Mel Robbins? Yes, love him.
24:55 Speaker 01 But he just doesn't have the energy that I have.
24:57 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
24:58 Speaker 01 And I was constantly, you know, arranging all our social life and all our trips. We did a lot of traveling, but it was, I was the one that was doing it.
25:11 Mel Robbins? Hmm.
25:12 Speaker 01 And so, I eventually got him to move back into his own house, and then down the line into a retirement community, which he's very happy. And I still see him. And we're very good friends.
25:24 Mel Robbins? Yes, I love him.
25:25 Speaker 01 Very good friends.
25:25 Mel Robbins? We love Hans.
25:27 Speaker 01 And then I met another guy who's in town. And actually, it was me who met John.
25:32 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
25:33 Speaker 01 I mean, I knew John, but I saw him at, uh, I saw him at this artist thing. You were there.
25:41 Mel Robbins? Oh, this is when I first moved here, and I was having constant anxiety and hating my life and
25:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
25:46 Mel Robbins? Thinking, I've, I have, I'm now going to a place where people live when they're about to die.
25:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:52 Mel Robbins? I didn't realize that's where you met him.
25:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:56 Mel Robbins? Okay.
25:56 Speaker 01 Well, I didn't meet him. I already knew him.
25:58 Mel Robbins? Okay.
25:59 Speaker 01 But, um...
26:01 Speaker 01 Something else was happening later in the week, I don't know, some concert or something. And so I just went up to John and I said, would you like to go? And he said, yeah. But he also had a girlfriend in Canada. So that went on for a while. And then he gave her up.
26:19 Mel Robbins? And he picked you up.
26:22 Speaker 01 Yeah. And so we're together and he makes me very happy and he has a lot of energy and he organizes everything.
26:30 Mel Robbins? Amazing.
26:31 Speaker 01 Like going to a dude ranch. We just got back from a dude ranch, as you know.
26:34 Mel Robbins? Yes. So 85 years old, the two of you go off on your first trip together and you go to a dude ranch in Montana where I understand you were learning how to herd cattle on horseback.
26:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, we did. We did a cattle drive. It was awesome.
26:52 Mel Robbins? And you're not like a horse person. Well, how long had it been since you had truly been on a horse, though?
26:58 Speaker 01 I don't know, 40 years.
27:01 Mel Robbins? All right. So staying connected. But this goes, but you went for long periods of time not in relationships, though.
27:09 Speaker 01 No, I actually, I probably started seeing Hans about a month after I broke up with Bill.
27:15 Mel Robbins? Oh, Jesus, Judy. Wow.
27:17 Speaker 01 So you see, I haven't been alone.
27:19 Mel Robbins? Okay. You're funny.
27:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, I'm very fortunate that way.
27:27 Mel Robbins? Yeah, well, you create what you want.
27:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:30 Mel Robbins? And you put yourself out there. And I also notice that connection to friends is very important.
27:37 Speaker 01 Extremely important.
27:39 Mel Robbins? Hey Jude, we need to take a quick break and hear a word from our sponsors. But when we come back, I want you to share with us how you've stayed connected to your friends over the years, even though you guys all live in different parts of the world. I want you to spill those secrets, Judy, when we come back.
28:02 Mel Robbins? Welcome back. I'm here with my 85-year-old mother-in-law, Judy Robbins, otherwise known as Jage, JJ. Judy is a cutie, and she's also a little Energizer Bunny Spitfire, who has managed to keep close relationships with lifelong friends. And it is one of the reasons why she says she has been able to create a meaningful, purpose-driven life. And so Jude, what is the secret? I'm very impressed by the fact that you have stayed connected to the women that you raised your kids with. Like, the women that are your friends to this day are the women that you
28:41 Mel Robbins? knew when my husband was a baby. I mean, we're talking 50 years here. So what is the secret, Jude?
28:49 Speaker 01 Well, actually, Mel, I have to give you some credit here.
28:53 Mel Robbins? Me?
28:53 Speaker 01 Yes, you. Because after Ken died, and I didn't have anybody in my life, and I'll never forget this either, this is before you started into the business, I rented an apartment in New York, as you remember.
29:09 Mel Robbins? Oh, yeah.
29:11 Speaker 01 By myself, which was a kind of a lonely experience, actually, because I went to dinner by myself. But of course, as soon as people realized I had an apartment, they started coming. But it's still, being in a big city alone can be very lonely.
29:29 Mel Robbins? Right, because you see people everywhere.
29:31 Speaker 01 Yeah. But I was right next to the Hudson River, so I was running and I took my bike. So I stayed active physically. But I remember mentioning to you that I was going to go to Florida. I didn't know, you know, what I was going to do. And you said to me, "Pick up the phone and call some of your friends, and make sure you have something on your calendar before you hit the ground in Florida."
29:59 Mel Robbins? Hmm.
30:00 Speaker 01 I'll never forget that. And it made a difference, because I had something to look forward to.
30:05 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
30:05 Speaker 01 Otherwise, I just had a blank slate, and I probably could have felt pretty sorry for myself.
30:10 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
30:12 Mel Robbins? But even, even beyond that, you have kept in close touch with your women friends.
30:22 Speaker 01 Yes, it's very important to do that.
30:24 Mel Robbins? And how do you do that?
30:26 Speaker 01 You pick up the phone and call them.
30:33 Speaker 01 You know, it's...
30:37 Speaker 01 So many people go around the back door, and I'm going to give you an example. I have a good friend who has Alzheimer's, and she's young.
30:49 Speaker 01 And she admitted that she has Alzheimer's. So she's very open about it.
30:54 Mel Robbins? Yep.
30:54 Speaker 01 And she recently, her husband got her on the new drug, the Alzheimer's drug by Biogen. This winter, he was very glad that he did, and she was glad that she was on it.
31:07 Speaker 01 Three days ago, she went out to lunch with a very good friend of mine and said to her friend, and my friend, "You know, I just had a physical, and I'm 100% all right. I don't have Alzheimer's."
31:23 Mel Robbins? Really?
31:23 Speaker 01 So, obviously, she's coming all the way around into denial, which she wasn't before. So this is what I, this is my point. Shirley said, "Do you think I should call Marcia and tell her?" Marcia being a good friend of hers. And I said, "Well, why would you do that? Why don't you call Bob, her husband? Why don't you go directly to Bob? He might already know that she said that, but he might not." And say to him, "I just had lunch with Connie, and this is what she said." And this is what's so important in life, is that if you have a good friend that you want to talk to, you talk to them. Don't talk to your other friend that's a friend of your friend.
32:07 Mel Robbins? Right.
32:09 Speaker 01 You know, if you want to talk to somebody on the phone, call them. And I don't think a lot of people do that.
32:16 Mel Robbins? They talk about their friends, but they don't talk to their friends.
32:19 Speaker 01 That's right.
32:21 Mel Robbins? Yeah. If you're thinking about somebody, pick up the phone and call them. If you have something that you're concerned about, pick up the phone and call them. Don't talk about what you're concerned about.
32:30 Speaker 01 Well, we have another friend that is now into dementia, but is not admitting it. And the scary thing is that they're thinking, maybe her husband has it too. And I haven't said anything, but I'm thinking that I need to go to Sally and say to her, are you worried about yourself?
32:49 Speaker 01 Because everybody's talking about her, but nobody's talking to her.
32:54 Speaker 01 And maybe she would say to me, what are you talking about? I'm fine.
32:58 Mel Robbins? Right.
32:59 Speaker 01 Or maybe she'd break down and say, it's true. I don't know what I'm really doing.
33:04 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
33:05 Speaker 01 Because she doesn't.
33:07 Mel Robbins? Wow.
33:10 Mel Robbins? There is one other thing that I would love to touch on because service has been such an enormous part of your life and volunteering. After your husband of 45 years, Ken, died, you moved to Cambodia.
33:26 Speaker 01 Well, I didn't move.
33:27 Mel Robbins? Well, what did you do? You did something that is just incredible.
33:32 Speaker 01 Well, I went on a bike trip to Vietnam and I visited Cambodia and I fell in love, I fell in love with the people in Cambodia. So I said, and I was with Bill at the time, I said, I'm going to come back here and teach English. And so I got ahold of this NGO, Cambodia Living Arts, and asked them if they could find me someplace where I could teach, which is really quite ballsy, since I don't know anything about teaching. I just know, I know how to talk English or speak.
34:05 Mel Robbins? I know she talks English well, everybody.
34:09 Speaker 01 But that's it. Anyway, yeah, they got me a position in this school that the kids go to a regular school, but they come here to learn English after school.
34:21 Mel Robbins? Yep.
34:23 Speaker 01 And I mean, I had monks in that class. I had mothers in that class. I mean, I had, oh my God, it was hysterical.
34:29 Mel Robbins? How many years did you go to Cambodia?
34:32 Speaker 01 Six.
34:33 Mel Robbins? Six years. You'd lived there for almost three months and teach seven days a week.
34:38 Speaker 01 Plus, your daughter came.
34:40 Mel Robbins? And our daughter, when she was in eighth grade, went over and
34:44 Speaker 01 Fell in love.
34:45 Mel Robbins? Fell in love, and she's actually on her way back because of that experience as we speak. Wow. Talk to us about staying young at heart. I mean, because at the heart of every one of these stories, there's very similar themes. You have to create what you want in your life.
35:01 Speaker 01 Right.
35:03 Mel Robbins? You, connection is incredible, and you have this wonderful sense of humor about you, where you just try it. Like, you don't even stop yourself and think, well, how's this gonna work? I'm moving to Cambodia. I'm 69 years old. I'm gonna do this alone? Am I, like, I don't even know what I'm doing? Like, how is this gonna work? Where am I gonna, you're just like, okay, let's do this. We're gonna figure it out. So, how do you stay young at heart? What do you think that's about?
35:36 Speaker 01 Well, I go back again about living in the moment. And I don't take any day for granted that I have. I mean, I'm really grateful for every day I have.
35:50 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
35:51 Speaker 01 And that's the only thing I can say. I mean, I think most people live their lives like, well, of course, there'll be tomorrow. There was yesterday, there'll be tomorrow, there'll be next week. I can do this, I can do that. Well, who's to say? We have a friend who just was on his motorcycle. Bingo.
36:10 Mel Robbins? Yeah.
36:12 Speaker 01 So, that keeps me positive, because I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. First of all, I have a fabulous life. I have incredible family, all these grandchildren. I'm not sick. You know, I'm healthy. I have all my knees and all my hips. So, I'm very grateful.
36:38 Mel Robbins? You don't have your hair between your legs, though.
36:41 Speaker 01 Well, some people pay for a Brazilian, so.
36:44 Mel Robbins? That's true. You're grateful you don't have to pay for that.
36:46 Speaker 01 No, I don't.
36:47 Mel Robbins? But seriously, there's a lot of people around the world that have their health, that have a great family, that have friends around them, and they're miserable.
36:58 Speaker 01 Well, because they're expecting something else that they don't have.
37:04 Speaker 01 And there is nothing else. You have what you have right now at the moment and don't expect anything more. And I think people live in a lot of disappointment because they think about what they'd like to have, or what their neighbor has, or something other than what they have this moment. And that creates the stress. Because if there's something out there that you want, and you don't have it, that's stress in itself.
37:37 Mel Robbins? Right.
37:39 Mel Robbins? Well, what's also amazing about that perspective is if you're not happy and grateful for the things that you have now, why on earth do you think you're going to be happy and grateful when you get something you don't have?
37:55 Speaker 01 And how do you know you're going to have it?
37:56 Mel Robbins? Yeah, like you need to learn how to appreciate everything on the way.
38:02 Speaker 01 Exactly.
38:03 Mel Robbins? And until you do that, you're never going to be happy.
38:06 Speaker 01 No.
38:06 Mel Robbins? Because you're always going to be expecting something more and wanting something more, and then thinking that you deserve more. And that mindset also keeps you from not only appreciating everything that's right in front of you, like the day that you have, but it also makes you... Somehow it like prevents you from realizing you can create it. Like you can learn how to wake up every day and be grateful for this day, and just put your head down and do the work to create what you want.
38:35 Speaker 01 Be thankful what you do have. Don't think about what you wish you had. I'll always remember, and I think this is true of every little, every child. My mother used to say, "You know, you're going to wish your life away." Because we'd say, "Oh, I wish I could have. I wish I could do. I wish I could go." You know, as a child, we're always wishing. She'd say, "You're going to wish your life away." Well, what are you wishing for? Just be grateful for what you have right this minute.
39:05 Speaker 01 Because who knows what you're wishing for might not be right anyhow.
39:08 Mel Robbins? It's true. It's true. And as soon as you wish for something else, you're rejecting what you have.
39:15 Speaker 01 Exactly.
39:17 Mel Robbins? Wow. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you can think of or mistakes that you think people make?
39:25 Speaker 01 I think one of the things that I think about when we talk about staying in the moment is that
39:33 Speaker 01 we don't realize that the process that we're going through in life is really the most exhilarating.
39:44 Speaker 01 The best part is the process. It's not getting there. So often, whether you're building a house or whether you're going on vacation, it's the process. You think about, oh, my gosh, you know, when we go, we're going to do a dude ranch and we're going to do this and we're going to do that.
40:03 Speaker 01 It's the anticipation that's so exciting.
40:05 Mel Robbins? Right.
40:06 Speaker 01 And then, once you're there, it's like, oh, okay.
40:13 Speaker 01 So it's the wishing. Don't wish for something else. Just be so thankful for what you have right now.
40:24 Mel Robbins? Judy Robbins. Everybody, she's going to be 86 and she's dropping knowledge. Go Judy. I love you. I love you. I love you.
40:34 Speaker 01 I love you too, Darlene.
40:36 Mel Robbins? You know, one reason why I love you so much, Jade, is because you are a child at heart and you've been a lifelong learner and you have been an inspiration to me because you have proven to me it doesn't matter how old or young you are. You have everything that you need to do the work to create the life, the friendships, the mindset, and the daily habits that you want in your life. Stop waiting around for other people to do it for you and wake up every day and be grateful that you have this day. And yes, I'm talking to you. Whatever it is that you've been putting off, whatever griping you've been doing, whatever it is that you think you need to achieve in order to be happy, I hope you take everything we talked about today to heart. And I hope you start waking up and being grateful for what you have.
41:22 Mel Robbins? I hope you don't wish your life away. I hope you make today the day where you say, "That's it. I'm gonna wake up every day. I am going to create a morning routine that works for me. I'm gonna stay close to my friends. And if I don't have any friends, I'm gonna reach out and I'm gonna volunteer at hospice or I'm gonna do something that makes somebody else feel better because that will bring what's missing in my life to me, by me, by doing something for somebody else." I got so much out of today's conversation. You can reinvent yourself whenever you want. So, listen up. Your age isn't stopping you from doing anything your excuses are. Now, I love you. I believe in you. Get out there and go create the life that you want. Because I need you here. We're doing life together.
42:06 Mel Robbins? And I want your life to be long, happy, and fulfilling so we can lock arms and do it together. I'll talk to you in a few days. Mwah.
42:21 Speaker 01 All right, I'm testing you right now. See how my voice sounds.
42:25 Mel Robbins? I think it sounds pretty sexy.
42:27 Speaker 01 Good.
42:28 Mel Robbins? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten.
42:35 Speaker 01 What about this one?
42:36 Mel Robbins? All right, here we go.
42:39 Mel Robbins? All right, you gotta hold the mic up to your beautiful mouth with your gorgeous pink lipstick. But hold the mic up to your mouth, woman.
42:46 Speaker 01 Yep. Why do you take a probiotic?
42:48 Mel Robbins? I don't know, but talking to the microphone.
42:49 Speaker 01 Why do you take a probiotic?
42:50 Mel Robbins? Well, you can look at me, but just make sure the microphone's there.
42:53 Speaker 01 Okay.
42:54 Mel Robbins? Wait a minute.
42:55 Speaker 01 I'll be 86.
42:56 Mel Robbins? When did you turn 85?
42:58 Speaker 01 Remember, we had my birthday. We celebrated my birthday late.
43:03 Mel Robbins? Oh, at my house last year. We threw you a party. Yes. Oh, my God. See, I'm losing my mind and I'm only 54. How fun. Isn't this fun?
43:19 Mel Robbins? Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.
Previous Improve Your Breathing for Better Health From #1 Breath Expert In The World | Mel Robbins Podcast Next The Surprising Psychology Behind the Secrets Everyone Keeps | The Mel Robbins Podcast Page updated October 7, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated
