Project Mocking Gnome w/ Deborah Jaffe | FILE_08 | Mystery Boys

Duncan Trussell is touring all over! Check out his tour dates at http://duncantrussell.com/tour SPONSORS: Start your free trial at http://SHOPIFY. COM/mysteryboys Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurp Luchman-Techfeldt and Grazor Johnt. This week, the boys journey from intergalactic shamans and ayahuasca ceremonies to mushroom trips in the mountains and a close encounter with a gnome that may or may not have been real. The investigation then pivots toward prosthetic foreskins, sacred dragon bloodlines, and the possibility that intelligence agencies are far stranger than anyone realizes. Midway through the episode, Deborah Jaffe calls in to discuss her father, journalist and alleged CIA operative Sam Jaffe (not the actor), opening the door to a sprawling conversation about compromised agents, mind control programs, MK Ultra setups, sleeper agents, the Safari Club, CIA ties to acid, and growing up in the shadow of covert intelligence work. The boys also explore Hollywood families of the '60s, photographing elites and their children, newly released redacted documents, reptilian Nazi devices, the Three Masonic Hobos, and the ever-present dangers of Dogman. This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys File_008 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:55 - Taking Ayahuasca with Intergalactic Shamans 00:08:56 - Duncan Took Mushrooms In The Mountains 00:13:50 - Duncan's Gnome Encounter 00:22:12 - Prosthetic Foreskins And Their Healing Abilities 00:24:42 - Talking With Deborah Jaffe 00:25:14 - Sam Jaffe: The CIA Agent Coverup 00:38:09 - CIA Agent Gets Compromised 00:48:17 - The CIA Using Mind Control 00:52:18 - Is Joe Rogan The New Epicenter For CIA Agents? 00:54:49 - Taking The FBI To Court 00:57:30 - The Safari Club 01:02:37 - Can Kurt Work For The CIA? 01:03:39 - Speaking Out After Being Interrogated By The CIA 01:06:31 - Moving To China And Being The First Caucasians In Inner-Mongolia 01:08:02 - First Experience With A Sleeper Agent In The 60's 01:09:56 - MK ULTRA Set Ups 01:12:05 - The Sacred Dragon Bloodlines 01:14:24 - Becoming A Photographer For The Elites And Their Children 01:21:11 - The Creepy Hollywood Families Of The 60s 01:22:58 - Trump Releases More Redacted Documents 01:23:44 - The Three Masonic Hobos 01:29:00 - Reptilian Nazi Device 01:32:12 - Photographing Rick Owens 01:36:28 - The CIA Ties To Acid 01:37:50 - More About Growing Up With A CIA Dad 01:41:37 - The Three Beautiful Hobos and Psychodrama 01:44:19 - Goo Goo Gooning And The Dangers of Dogman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 0:51Kurt Metzger?

  Well, hello. I'm Kirk Lookman-Tuckfield, defense contractor and founder and CEO of Susan's Horn, as well as Turkish Delight, with me as always as my associate.

• 1:09Duncan Trussell?

  Grazer Jaunt. I am a sex therapist suffering from long COVID.

• 1:17Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:18Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, it's fucked up.

• 1:19Kurt Metzger?

  Is it not getting any better?

• 1:21Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:22Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that sucks, dude.

• 1:23Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:24Kurt Metzger?

  I knew you were a part-time ICE agent as well for a bit. Did it affect that?

• 1:28Duncan Trussell?

  I thought that would help. One of my friends said, "Join ICE, and it might help your long COVID." It didn't.

• 1:40Duncan Trussell?

  My taint. I tried expressing my taint.

• 1:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I've heard of that. Will you express it?

• 1:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it did not.

• 1:47Kurt Metzger?

  You don't call it... It's expressing your gland, your anal gland.

• 1:51Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I mean, if you want to get scientific.

• 1:52Kurt Metzger?

  Prostate, I do. I'm a scientist, as you know.

• 1:56Duncan Trussell?

  Everyone knows. Yeah, well, okay, if we're gonna do it, I guess we're doing it as fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson here now.

• 2:03Kurt Metzger?

  I don't mean to whip out my brain dick, but...

• 2:05Duncan Trussell?

  I was squeezing my anal gland as I was instructed by my shaman. And it, you know, a lot of stuff did come out, but I don't know if it was like COVID.

• 2:15Kurt Metzger?

  It's excellent that you had a shaman for it. You know, I worked for a while before I got into tech as a... A doula for men.

• 2:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:24Kurt Metzger?

  Expressing a bowel movement. I would, I was a poop doula for dudes.

• 2:29Duncan Trussell?

  God bless you, man.

• 2:30Kurt Metzger?

  I hold a guy's hand.

• 2:31Duncan Trussell?

  Doing the Lord's work.

• 2:32Kurt Metzger?

  I have him breathe, you know?

• 2:34Duncan Trussell?

  Doing the Lord's work.

• 2:35Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, a lot of blood, a lot of screams, but it's natural.

• 2:38Duncan Trussell?

  You gotta walk him through it.

• 2:40Kurt Metzger?

  It's like being, getting in the handicap bathroom with that nice handrail.

• 2:44Duncan Trussell?

  I think Elvis would still be alive.

• 2:49Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I don't, I don't endorse this, this group, okay? And I, that's, this is a kind of a perversion of what I do. What I do is really a form of shamanism, and I don't know, Duncan, you probably know this. But, uh, the actual way of pronouncing that, a shaman, they're actually a charman, it's called.

• 3:05Duncan Trussell?

  Charman, like the?

• 3:06Kurt Metzger?

  That's the correct name, and so, yeah.

• 3:09Duncan Trussell?

  You're saying, you're saying this as a poop doula, it's char, like the toilet paper.

• 3:13Kurt Metzger?

  So I went to do ayahuasca, and, um, you know what happens when you do ayahuasca? You're gonna projectile out of one, one side or the other, or probably both. And that's why you go to a shaman.

• 3:26Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 3:26Kurt Metzger?

  Um, because they will hold your hair back, uh, and wipe your ass when you projectile shit and diarrhea in a tin shack, because you just paid a Puerto Rican 10 grand to feed you poison.

• 3:37Duncan Trussell?

  Totally worth it, and they hold you down, because one of the things-

• 3:40Kurt Metzger?

  There you go, that's the one.

• 3:42Duncan Trussell?

  But, when you-

• 3:43Kurt Metzger?

  Jim Channen.

• 3:44Duncan Trussell?

  He's intergalactic, he's-

• 3:46Kurt Metzger?

  I want to go the best.

• 3:47Duncan Trussell?

  See, one of the things that happened to me when I was taking the medicine is I had explosive diarrhea.

• 3:52Kurt Metzger?

  There it is.

• 3:53Duncan Trussell?

  And I projectile vomited, and it makes you spin like a top on the floor. And they will stop the spinning, and look at that man, he, he-

• 4:02Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I don't even, this is like what they call synchronicity, they told me this would happen after my ayahuasca trip. But that's literally, okay, I remember, I was, I was just a cannon in that, in that hut. And I look up, and I'm like, oh, you know, it was a shame, I look up, and there was, there was the shaman.

• 4:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 4:19Kurt Metzger?

  So that's his face looking at what I did.

• 4:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, well, you're purging, man. That's what you want to see when you're puking, right there.

• 4:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I mean, uh, I can't see what it says there because of my, uh, what, what does it say on the caption, under his, uh?

• 4:34Kurt Metzger?

  Monica, his name is Monica?

• 4:36Duncan Trussell?

  No, that's the photographer, Monica Schwartz.

• 4:38Kurt Metzger?

  I think, I think his name was Monica Schwartz, if I'm not wrong.

• 4:41Duncan Trussell?

  I'm pretty sure that's the photographer. Jim Shannon is one of the most eclectic, colorful, creative, larger-than-life beings. I know.

• 4:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 4:51Duncan Trussell?

  Sometimes he can even expand a bit out there. But what he brings back from out there is pretty amazing. What the fuck is this?

• 4:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 5:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, let's see. Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Let's just see some of his titles, because it's various. Social architect, eco-warrior, environmental, environmental steward, storyteller and prankster.

• 5:13Duncan Trussell?

  He'll get ya.

• 5:16Duncan Trussell?

  No, he will get you. He will get you when you take the medicine.

• 5:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 5:19Duncan Trussell?

  He will get you. He dresses up like a mantis being. Sometimes and comes out.

• 5:24Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, that's him? Oh, he is a prankster.

• 5:26Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no, he'll get ya.

• 5:27Kurt Metzger?

  I thought I was talking to a mantis.

• 5:29Duncan Trussell?

  I know. I did too.

• 5:31Kurt Metzger?

  He told me to insist that my wife get circumcised.

• 5:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 5:34Kurt Metzger?

  And I thought he took it as cosmic wisdom.

• 5:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 5:36Kurt Metzger?

  Well, boy.

• 5:38Duncan Trussell?

  Did you? I hope you didn't do it.

• 5:40Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I mean, my wife, it wasn't me. Um, okay. Here's some business, some housekeeping, okay? The top of your, hold on, let me just rub my sunstone real quick.

• 5:53Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, wait, I have a sunstone. That's the first.

• 5:58Kurt Metzger?

  If you remember.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  The practitioner must prepare their semen by mixing it with a glowing sunstone.

• 6:04Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, fuck!

• 6:04Speaker 03

  This also.

• 6:06Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, no.

• 6:07Duncan Trussell?

  Did you not bring that damn stone?

• 6:10Kurt Metzger?

  No, I'm trying to find the card. Oh, here it is. Thank God. Because it came with a card, this sunstone.

• 6:15Duncan Trussell?

  Nice.

• 6:17Kurt Metzger?

  Dear Curb, uh, I am honored, and that is underlined, to work with you. I am in it for the truth. Best, Mystic Mark. Uh, Mark, my Nephilim assistant on, uh, the Durbit Curb.

• 6:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 6:31Kurt Metzger?

  Seven-foot-tall guy, rail thin, it's the, I mean, he's not fully human, that's a, anyone could, I blurt it right in his face when I saw him. Best Mystic Mark. P.S. The sunstone is in the yellow bag. And sure enough, there's a sunstone in this bag.

• 6:47Duncan Trussell?

  Holy fucking shit.

• 6:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Do you remember the Libra vague, hey?

• 6:51Duncan Trussell?

  How could I forget?

• 6:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, my girl, my, my, uh, fifth wife Jenna said, uh, I had to stop listening to the episode because it was so gross.

• 6:57Duncan Trussell?

  It's crazy people think that's gross.

• 7:01Kurt Metzger?

  Well, it's just tech stuff.

• 7:03Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, yeah, what are you, what else is gross?

• 7:06Kurt Metzger?

  Um.

• 7:08Duncan Trussell?

  Like, why are we gonna use words like gross?

• 7:10Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, this is why I'm bringing it up. And before the sunstone. Um, remember when you were saying that gnomes are dicks and I, I, what happened? I need to know what happened. Before the sunstone. The sunstone.

• 7:24Duncan Trussell?

  I will tell you, I, you know, okay, I'll tell you.

• 7:26Kurt Metzger?

  Why do you have a gnome issue?

• 7:28Duncan Trussell?

  Here's.

• 7:29Kurt Metzger?

  I never met any gnomes.

• 7:29Duncan Trussell?

  I wouldn't call, I wouldn't call it an issue.

• 7:31Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 7:32Duncan Trussell?

  And I, and to be fair, I've encountered one gnome. So to judge all gnomes by this encounter, I think, could be viewed as a form of cryptid bigotry. But also, after I encountered a gnome. Uh, I was reading about other gnome encounters and as it turns out, gnomes are dicks. It's not just meat, but what happened is.

• 7:57Kurt Metzger?

  I know gnome Chomsky's sucks ass.

• 8:00Duncan Trussell?

  You know, honestly, I don't know if the name, you know, sometimes I say the name defines the person. Maybe that's what happened to him, but this was years and years ago. I had come upon some penis envy mushrooms. You ever heard of these before?

• 8:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, but I don't know what they are.

• 8:18Duncan Trussell?

  So penis envy mushrooms, they're.

• 8:21Kurt Metzger?

  You mean like Eli, uh, Elliot, uh, what's, what's his, Juno? You mean like the guy who played Juno?

• 8:28Duncan Trussell?

  When you take mushrooms, your liver metabolizes the psilocybin into something called psilocin.

• 8:36Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, hold on, hold on, leave it right there. The penis envy mushroom is a highly potent cultivated strain of the psychedelic psilocybin cuben, cubensis species. Named for its phallic appearance, characterized by a thick bulbous stem and a small cap. Oh, boy, that sounds familiar. It is.

• 8:59Kurt Metzger?

  Like you, like your guy was late for football practice and grabbed a smaller player's helmet.

• 9:03Duncan Trussell?

  You know, when you buy drugs.

• 9:05Kurt Metzger?

  Like a tube of toothpaste.

• 9:06Duncan Trussell?

  When you buy drugs, inevitably, the person selling you the drugs will tell you they're the most powerful things you ever took. And you hear that after a lifetime of drug use, you're like, all right, whatever. And so I went up to this like retreat place up in LA. With a girl who had never taken mushrooms. And I'm like, you know, all right, well, let's take mushrooms together up here.

• 9:33Kurt Metzger?

  This is how Grizzly Man ended.

• 9:34Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, this is, it was very embarrassing because I'm like, you know, giving her all this fucking like, you know, psychedelic hubris is so noxious and I was doing it back then.

• 9:44Kurt Metzger?

  What is psychedelic hubris?

• 9:45Duncan Trussell?

  It's, it's best encapsulated in the song, Are You Experienced by Jimi Hendrix? Which is every piece of shit who's like trying to explain to you before they make you trip that you're gonna like open their mind and blow their mind. It's basically like the mushroom is doing the work. You're just giving someone drugs and then they take it and it will expand your consciousness. But it's essentially a kind of hubris, people who take psychedelics exhibit, which is they're invulnerable. So, yeah, I don't know, I, I took these penis envy mushrooms. And because they have so much psilocybin in them, they kick in much faster than regular mushrooms. So it was within 10 minutes.

• 10:28Kurt Metzger?

  Really? Like a blue chew of mushrooms?

• 10:31Duncan Trussell?

  Blue chew of mushrooms. And it was horrible because I remember looking.

• 10:34Kurt Metzger?

  Now my dick is jealous.

• 10:36Duncan Trussell?

  I was looking at my hand, like, and suddenly my hand just starts like spaghettifying and swirling. And I've been building myself up as some kind of fucking like psychedelic expert. Heard a voice in my head.

• 10:50Kurt Metzger?

  It was a gnome, wasn't it?

• 10:51Duncan Trussell?

  It wasn't a gnome. It said, we are the eternal protectors of the universe and we are going to do deep work on you today. And I was just there to, I wanted to have sex on mushrooms. I'm hearing voices. It was wild. And so.

• 11:07Kurt Metzger?

  Did you fuck or not?

• 11:10Duncan Trussell?

  We did.

• 11:11Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 11:11Duncan Trussell?

  But way after because what happened is I, she was fine. She's sitting by a tree.

• 11:17Kurt Metzger?

  Was she a gnome?

• 11:18Duncan Trussell?

  What? No, no, no.

• 11:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 11:19Duncan Trussell?

  I'm, I, I'm sitting.

• 11:21Kurt Metzger?

  Did you fucking know? You could tell me if you did.

• 11:23Duncan Trussell?

  Dude.

• 11:24Kurt Metzger?

  It's not gross.

• 11:25Duncan Trussell?

  You would, they're not attractive, but I, I basically, you know, this was like what I expected to be a regular kind of like fun mushroom trip, which was suddenly a apocalyptic mushroom trip. I was sitting.

• 11:38Kurt Metzger?

  Ah, you know what?

• 11:39Duncan Trussell?

  They don't look like that.

• 11:40Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 11:41Duncan Trussell?

  They don't look like that. I'm sorry to say.

• 11:43Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, honestly, that's. I might do that.

• 11:47Duncan Trussell?

  Well, of course you would. Any, any, any heterosexual man in his right mind would be happy to make love to that gnome. Who wouldn't?

• 11:55Kurt Metzger?

  Look at this little. Yeah, that's a fat little fat whore gnome, isn't it?

• 12:02Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that is a big BBG. Big beautiful gnome.

• 12:08Kurt Metzger?

  Pog of a gnome.

• 12:09Duncan Trussell?

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• 12:51Duncan Trussell?

  Thanks to Shopify and their AI sidekick, you don't have to sweat the building or troubleshooting. So you can keep it moving. Friends, I do have an OnlyFans. I do make a lot of money with pictures of my feet. Because of, I'm on a different show. I can't endorse the name of my OnlyFans, but there's a lot of merch involved when you are getting people to fall in love with your feet. And for the longest time, I would get all kinds of DMs. Please, please send me your socks. Send me your toenail clippings. Send me the shavings from your calluses. And I, I, they say everyone knows fight or flight. They don't know freeze is part of it. I was paralyzed. How do I start a business? How can I do this? It's impossible.

• 13:36Duncan Trussell?

  Well, thanks to Shopify, let's just say a lot of Russians and Ukrainians are getting my stinky socks. And it was easy. All you need is the idea. Shopify handles the rest.

• 13:50Duncan Trussell?

  I'm making millions. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash mystery boys. That's Shopify.com slash mystery boys. Shopify.com slash mystery boys. Like that gnome to sit on my face. So I can't breathe.

• 14:08Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah. Sit right on the tip of my nose.

• 14:11Duncan Trussell?

  Anyway, I'm just sitting in this chair.

• 14:13Kurt Metzger?

  You got a little wooden gnome pole. That's nice. You never meet them kind of gnomes, right?

• 14:17Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sitting in this chair trying not to freak out. And.

• 14:21Kurt Metzger?

  I am too with that gnome up. Take it down.

• 14:23Duncan Trussell?

  I look up and standing on a tree limb is a fucking gnome.

• 14:27Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, describe this gnome.

• 14:29Duncan Trussell?

  That's where it gets insane.

• 14:31Kurt Metzger?

  What race was he? That's what I'm asking.

• 14:33Duncan Trussell?

  Caucasian. But the gnome, this is where, you know, this is where it's so weird.

• 14:38Kurt Metzger?

  What else he look like?

• 14:40Duncan Trussell?

  He looked like a fucking yard gnome. Like pull up a, just like a typical yard gnome. Which is like, of course you see this on mushrooms.

• 14:47Kurt Metzger?

  Like from the gnome cartoon I was a kid?

• 14:49Duncan Trussell?

  Shit you see in your grandma's yard.

• 14:51Kurt Metzger?

  Did he have that?

• 14:52Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, that, that, the same, basically the same outfit, but it, it's like, you know, it, it looked real. It didn't look like, it looked like hand woven clothes.

• 15:00Kurt Metzger?

  Standing on a tree.

• 15:01Duncan Trussell?

  Standing on a tree limb, watching the sunset. And, you know, I, I tried the tricks I have for when I'm tripping and see shit like that, which is usually you look away, you look back.

• 15:11Kurt Metzger?

  Is that the trick?

• 15:12Duncan Trussell?

  It's gone. You know, because it's a projection of your mind. Still fucking there. And so now I'm having to contend with like, oh my God, like you're seeing like some kind of entity that looks like a gnome. And then I realized that because I could see him, he knew that I was see, could see him. And he, he just like, it's like he came out of the tree to watch the sunset. And he fucking looks at me. And you know, it's like you're on mushrooms, you're thinking they're gonna be sweet, or there's gonna be some lesson. But it was, he didn't, he looked at me with just, I don't know, he nagged me, it was just this look of like, fuck off. Like, he didn't want me to see it, didn't like humans, clearly thought I sucked, humans sucked.

• 15:53Kurt Metzger?

  Why are you saying that?

• 15:54Duncan Trussell?

  You just get that, it was like, I don't know, you know when like a snobby, grumpy old dude just kinda looks at you like, fuck off, and goes back to watch the sunset.

• 16:03Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, yeah, so.

• 16:04Duncan Trussell?

  That's, no joke, that summarizes it. Like, they're grumpy, they don't like humans, they don't like, they didn't, he didn't like that I could see it.

• 16:13Kurt Metzger?

  It's like a, he's like a gnome Ben Gavir.

• 16:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yes. Dude, he's just a prick, like, it was just like a.

• 16:18Kurt Metzger?

  Put a Ben Gavir next to this gnome.

• 16:24Kurt Metzger?

  There you go, I saw him standing on a tree branch, looking at me, like I was less than human.

• 16:29Duncan Trussell?

  It was really wild, man, and it was fucking wild.

• 16:34Kurt Metzger?

  It's a shame such a handsome man says such terrible things, isn't it?

• 16:38Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up the gnome picture?

• 16:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, no, please, we're not talking about cryptids right now, we're talking about something Duncan saw.

• 16:43Duncan Trussell?

  I'm just trying to avoid you going into a thirty minute fucking Israel rant.

• 16:48Kurt Metzger?

  Well, it's like a Bigfoot, he doesn't exist.

• 16:50Duncan Trussell?

  But this was, this, this is, I don't know, I mean, it was probably, it was a hallucination, but then when you look up, look up gnome characteristics.

• 16:57Kurt Metzger?

  Did he ever take off his shoes? Did you see if he had shoes?

• 16:59Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, come on, dude, you know what I wish would have happened that day, but he kept his shoes on, I love to see that.

• 17:05Kurt Metzger?

  You had disdain because he could see what you were into?

• 17:08Duncan Trussell?

  He knew I wanted to suck that little gnome's feet up there on the tree.

• 17:11Kurt Metzger?

  And he was like, you'll never get these tootsies in your mouth.

• 17:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, pull it up.

• 17:16Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, so did you do so much psilocybin that you fifth density into the?

• 17:19Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no, honestly, when I heard the fifth density stuff, because it was after seeing the gnome, that these like, I don't know, like weird elf-like entities started swimming through my body, like it was a swimming.

• 17:34Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, they love that shit.

• 17:36Duncan Trussell?

  I hated it, it was fucking horrible, and like, it was horrible, they were like these, uh, they were super intelligent, but they had, they were like toddlers, and they were just, thought it was funny, I'm praying, I'm saying, please God help me, please God help me. I could hear them mocking me, going, please God help him, please God help him.

• 17:54Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:55Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, dude, it was terrifying, it was terrifying, it was just one of the most intense trips I ever had. But it started off with seeing a gnome.

• 18:03Kurt Metzger?

  And then the gnomes are like, ew, yeah, well, you're not supposed to look at them. They don't like it.

• 18:07Duncan Trussell?

  Um, well, I think it was just more like they just looked down on humans. They just think we're idiots. Like, it was just more like what they they think of us as dangerous, like monkeys, basically.

• 18:20Kurt Metzger?

  I know all the little stupid fucking, yeah, let me tell you something about these little fucking space alien outside of dimension creatures and fuck, by the way, fuck gnomes, dude. I'll say it. I know you're not supposed to say it, but I'll say it out loud.

• 18:34Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, if you look up gnome encounters, people will confirm that.

• 18:38Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I wish a fucking gnome would come to my house when I put this sunstone in a calf.

• 18:45Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you know how it goes.

• 18:46Duncan Trussell?

  I just realized you got a sunstone right there.

• 18:49Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right around my neck, a valuable sunstone.

• 18:50Duncan Trussell?

  Does it feel, can you feel the power of that sunstone?

• 18:53Kurt Metzger?

  No, I can't kind of open it. I was hoping to get Tanner's slender fingers to open this package.

• 18:59Duncan Trussell?

  Do you, do you think it's?

• 19:00Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner, you might need you to reach one of your thin, thin fingers into this patch.

• 19:03Duncan Trussell?

  The sack is protecting you from the energy of, or does it have to be like imbued with power? Is this a sunstone? You have to actually do something. It's just a rock.

• 19:13Kurt Metzger?

  I dress my penis up like a gnome and they can't tell the difference. I'm woken up and seen these things having conversations with my, with my dick.

• 19:22Duncan Trussell?

  It's the kind of Trojans I do buy is gnome size.

• 19:30Duncan Trussell?

  I'm not sure you can admit it.

• 19:31Kurt Metzger?

  What if that was a brand of condom, gnome?

• 19:36Kurt Metzger?

  Um, all right. Well, that's a, that's maybe merch to think about later.

• 19:39Duncan Trussell?

  Gnome, deluxe gnome.

• 19:41Kurt Metzger?

  Um, Earth.

• 19:43Duncan Trussell?

  Gnome deluxe.

• 19:46Duncan Trussell?

  Flavored.

• 19:48Kurt Metzger?

  No, oh, I'm, no, I'm sorry. I meant like a gnome skin condom. I want to skin some gnomes.

• 19:54Duncan Trussell?

  I would love to wear.

• 19:55Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you, I gotta tell you, Duncan, that story you told me got me fired up against gnomes, pretty much.

• 20:00Duncan Trussell?

  Well, look up like gnome encounters.

• 20:02Kurt Metzger?

  First of all, your little two foot thing with a stupid white beard.

• 20:05Duncan Trussell?

  There, it just wasn't what I expected, you know?

• 20:08Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, it sounds like he was exactly what I expected.

• 20:10Duncan Trussell?

  They're grumpy.

• 20:12Kurt Metzger?

  No, that's a little more than grumpy.

• 20:13Duncan Trussell?

  Maybe it was just this gnome, though. I don't know. You can't like, oh, look, what's the deal with all the gnome sightings? What the fuck? Can you open that up, please?

• 20:22Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 20:23Duncan Trussell?

  It's one year ago.

• 20:24Kurt Metzger?

  In fact.

• 20:25Duncan Trussell?

  Look who it is, your friend.

• 20:28Kurt Metzger?

  Who? Andy Kinnler?

• 20:32Kurt Metzger?

  My friend Danny Killer, we haven't spoken a while because of COVID and Jimmy and him.

• 20:37Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no. I didn't know about that.

• 20:39Kurt Metzger?

  He looks damn though, since the last time I seen him.

• 20:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. There you go. State of the Union for comedy.

• 20:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, man. Guy rules. He's such like Newman from Seinfeld. This real.

• 20:52Kurt Metzger?

  Hello, Gavir. Hello, Jeffrey.

• 20:59Kurt Metzger?

  He had turned up shoes that one of them pointy red yarmulkes.

• 21:04Duncan Trussell?

  That's a, that's a, that's an extended yarmulke.

• 21:08Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, is that real? And they're flavored.

• 21:10Duncan Trussell?

  No, they make those over there.

• 21:12Kurt Metzger?

  No, I want, I want gnome skin.

• 21:13Duncan Trussell?

  They tie off you. They make you think they're real. They're out there.

• 21:16Kurt Metzger?

  First of all, they're misspelling gnome. It's gotta be at the end, like it's gnome.

• 21:21Duncan Trussell?

  Gnome bu.

• 21:22Kurt Metzger?

  These are gnome skin condoms. Like lamb skin.

• 21:26Duncan Trussell?

  Bu. Flavored.

• 21:28Kurt Metzger?

  See, I want to see a skinned gnome.

• 21:31Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you gotta put skin on there. Gnome skin condoms. And you gotta make it look like the skeleton of a gnome or like a, a, a, a deep, deep skinned gnome.

• 21:39Kurt Metzger?

  They have smaller pores than lambskin, so that's why it's better protection.

• 21:42Duncan Trussell?

  Way better.

• 21:43Kurt Metzger?

  You know?

• 21:44Duncan Trussell?

  Way better.

• 21:45Kurt Metzger?

  There we go. Finally.

• 21:48Duncan Trussell?

  Now you got it.

• 21:49Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 21:51Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, that looks better than I thought it would, I have to say.

• 21:53Duncan Trussell?

  That's good.

• 21:54Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so let's get those made up.

• 21:56Duncan Trussell?

  That's good.

• 21:57Kurt Metzger?

  Mystery Boys gnome skin condoms.

• 21:59Duncan Trussell?

  And here's the thing. Come actually can get through a gnome skin. That's why you want it. It just like.

• 22:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it's to re, make it feel like you have a foreskin again.

• 22:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. It's, the come goes right through them. In fact, a lot of gnome skin condoms don't have any.

• 22:13Kurt Metzger?

  Well, pretty soon you'll be blessed with a gnome. I'll put it that way.

• 22:16Duncan Trussell?

  That's exactly right.

• 22:18Kurt Metzger?

  Gnome skin condoms.

• 22:19Duncan Trussell?

  Got gnome magic in you, baby.

• 22:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. No, that's just to recreate having a foreskin. You know, or is a.

• 22:26Duncan Trussell?

  That's brilliant. Do they have that?

• 22:28Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you can do it with gnome skin.

• 22:29Duncan Trussell?

  Can you look up recreate? Can you, is there like a prosthetic to know what it's like to have foreskin?

• 22:34Kurt Metzger?

  Let's take a leak and then find a prosthetic.

• 22:37Duncan Trussell?

  For real, don't you trick us with that AI now. You see if it's there.

• 22:40Kurt Metzger?

  My dick's turtleneck that was cruelly peeled away.

• 22:43Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck? Okay, we'll come back to that. We'll go piss. And we're back, we're back to strokers.

• 22:51Duncan Trussell?

  Why does it always come back?

• 22:52Kurt Metzger?

  It's called more me prost. Okay, wait, let's.

• 22:56Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, we'll come back to that.

• 23:03Duncan Trussell?

  Oh dude, that is a sad stack of dicks.

• 23:06Kurt Metzger?

  Now, those look like dog treats, those other, uh, more me. I mean, those really look like dog treats. Look at those various flavors.

• 23:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, they do look like, uh, what do they call it?

• 23:16Kurt Metzger?

  There's salmon.

• 23:17Duncan Trussell?

  Pigs in a blanket.

• 23:20Kurt Metzger?

  Ostrich. Um, okay. Trim to fit. I like to get a bespoke, uh, foreskin.

• 23:32Duncan Trussell?

  It's great.

• 23:35Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, just more of me to love.

• 23:36Duncan Trussell?

  I think they're saying you gotta trim it.

• 23:38Kurt Metzger?

  I'm trying to lose dick weight to fit into my size four.

• 23:41Duncan Trussell?

  There's the trimming guide.

• 23:42Kurt Metzger?

  You know what I mean? Once I reach my target dick weight, I'll be in one of those. But as you know, penile obesity affects a lot of people.

• 23:48Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, that's why I'm on Ozempic.

• 23:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, for my.

• 23:52Duncan Trussell?

  It's, I inject Ozempic right into my dick.

• 23:55Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God. Mine looks like, uh, who's that fat guy that rapped at the Super Bowl?

• 24:02Kurt Metzger?

  My, I mean, just like size wise, my dick looks like Dave Blunt.

• 24:09Kurt Metzger?

  He's got an oxygen tube around the tip.

• 24:12Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 24:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. You know? Yeah, look at it, just sitting there. Can't stop singing, I can't, oh, purple stuff. That's the name of my penis. Purple stuff.

• 24:25Kurt Metzger?

  They're really confessing a lot on this episode.

• 24:27Duncan Trussell?

  But your penis is happy. He seems happy.

• 24:30Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, it's happy once I get a, a, a young, fatted calf and use this sunstone, if you know what I'm saying.

• 24:36Duncan Trussell?

  We gotta open that sunstone after this call.

• 24:38Kurt Metzger?

  Paint that picture in your head.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPact.com, not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 25:10Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Let's, okay. Sorry, I thought it was, um, our guest. Yeah. Okay, ready? Do, so you have, um, De- uh, Deborah Jaffe on the?

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Yes, I can, uh, call her right now.

• 25:24Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. So, yeah, so I'll, I'll let her explain it to you Duncan, her family thing and it's, uh...

• 25:31Kurt Metzger?

  I forget how I got referenced Deborah Jaffe, but I get all kinds of contacts of people.

• 25:35Duncan Trussell?

  How did you get her as a contact?

• 25:36Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I don't even know.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 25:41Kurt Metzger?

  Hi, Deborah.

• 25:43Speaker 04

  Hey!

• 25:43Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so, uh, this is, uh, Kurt and, uh, Duncan.

• 25:46Duncan Trussell?

  How you doing?

• 25:47Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh...

• 25:48Speaker 04

  Hi, guys!

• 25:48Kurt Metzger?

  So, okay. I was trying to explain, uh, the, your backstory to Duncan, I was having a hard time with it because, uh, I'm very stupid, so... Just explain, because this is still Mockingbird Media and I feel it ties directly into with these MKUltra hearings personally. Well, just to give Duncan a rough overview of, of, of your story.

• 26:07Speaker 04

  Okay. Um, so my dad, um, Sam Jaffe, not to be confused with the actor Sam Jaffe, uh, who played Gunga Din in the movie Gunga Din and... Um, his, that was my dad's uncle.

• 26:18Kurt Metzger?

  What kind of name is that, Jaffe?

• 26:21Speaker 04

  It's, uh, it, in Hebrew it means beautiful, so it's Jewish. Um, my dad's father's family was from Ukraine, from Odessa.

• 26:29Kurt Metzger?

  Oh!

• 26:30Speaker 04

  Um, and my, and my dad's, uh, grandmother was a famous Jewish actress named, um, Ada Jaffe, who taught Milton Berle, uh, comedy as a kid in, uh, Lower East Side of New York.

• 26:42Kurt Metzger?

  By, by the way Duncan, you know, Milton, the Stilt Berle, you know Milton Berle, supposedly had a huge, enormous... Nor, do you ever hear that? That's like a Friars Club rumor.

• 26:52Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know, I heard that, but I have heard that before.

• 26:55Kurt Metzger?

  They didn't call him Milton the Stilt, but I made that up when I first heard it.

• 26:57Duncan Trussell?

  No, but I have heard that.

• 26:58Kurt Metzger?

  Like he has thousands of kids and, uh, no, did you ever go to the Friars Club?

• 27:02Duncan Trussell?

  I went once.

• 27:03Kurt Metzger?

  It's like the Illuminati of, of, of stand-up.

• 27:06Duncan Trussell?

  You know, go look at their gym, that's not the Illuminati. You ever seen the, you wanna get depressed, go to the Friars Club.

• 27:11Kurt Metzger?

  They wanna tell you a story till you go to sleep and then you wake up in a tub of ice and you're missing a kidney. And he comes, Uncle Milton fills you up to see for your organs. Okay. Sorry, go ahead, I, I...

• 27:21Speaker 04

  So, so, my dad was, uh, born in San Francisco, um, he, uh...

• 27:28Speaker 04

  Became, um, he was in, uh, World War II as a merchant marine, um, in his teens and then he went to Korea. Um, and when he was nineteen years old, he wrote a letter to the FBI, which is in my dad's documents. That's why I know about this. Um, saying he wanted to be an FBI agent, um, and, um, but he was going into journalism. He'd already started writing in high school. But so he, so this is the sort of giant overview is he, um, he got himself, uh, to New York City, became a UN correspondent. Um, he was working for Life Magazine and CBS, Time Life and, uh, which is a full like CIA, you know,

• 28:11Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  operation. Um, he didn't know this.

• 28:14Kurt Metzger?

  The vice of its time.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  Yeah. And, yeah, and exactly. And this is like nine, or nineteen fifties.

• 28:21Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  And then he, uh, he gets hired by CBS and to cover the Francis Gary Powers trial, uh, which was a U two spy plane. That was a huge embarrassment for the United States. It was shot down over Russia. You know, that was an amazing story.

• 28:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 28:39Speaker 04

  Um, he, he goes over with CBS and, um, he, uh, instead of being, and there were very few journalists. At that point, ABC News didn't even have a bureau in Moscow, but, um, so he was working with CBS as an assistant to the, the main correspondent, but he gets sat next to Barbara Powers, Gary Powers' wife. And, um, he, anyway, so that, there's a whole affair situation there. Um, he gets hotel rooms adjoining with Barbara Powers. Uh, she hated her husband. Um, and it, you know, Gary Powers was supposed to commit suicide, um, but he didn't.

• 29:16Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, who is Gary Powers and Barbara Powers?

• 29:19Speaker 04

  So Gary Powers, so Gary Powers was a pilot. He was CIA pilot.

• 29:22Kurt Metzger?

  Uh.

• 29:22Speaker 04

  This is during the time when, um,

• 29:24Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, did your dad bury his wife when he crashed?

• 29:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:26Kurt Metzger?

  That's, okay, whatever.

• 29:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have some audio of that. Um, but so what happened was right before he left for Moscow, a guy met with him and said, which was supposedly God. Gottlieb from

• 29:39Kurt Metzger?

  Sidney Gottlieb.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  K Ultra.

• 29:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, Sidney Gottlieb, who was this, you know, maniac scientist, uh, given free rein and he, so he met with my dad saying that he wanted, um, him to, my dad to see if he could notice any brainwashing by Francis Gary Powers, because he'd been held now with the Russians and he was supposed to commit suicide.

• 30:00Kurt Metzger?

  This is what was kicking off the, the, uh, mind control race. The, the Korean War and this.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, so my dad was in the Korean War too, which is interesting because things could have started then.

• 30:12Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, what do I'm sorry, what do you mean he, he was supposed to commit suicide?

• 30:17Speaker 04

  Oh, so, so when you're caught, if you're a CIA agent and a pilot.

• 30:20Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, gotcha. Okay.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Doing a spy, doing this, this, the U two spy plane.

• 30:25Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  The latest technology, it still is, you know, but, um, so, and that, the, well, there's another idea that possibly there's supposed to be a peace conference between, Ken, uh, Eisenhower and, um, Khrushchev. And that was going to be in Paris shortly at, but right before the Powers, you know, plane got shot down. And this trial ended up cancelling the peace conference and it, there are ideas that possibly Hoover and other people in the government like Dulles didn't want peace between the Russians and the Americans because then, then what? Then we need an enemy.

• 30:59Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  So, um, and then, you know, and then, you know, JFK came in shortly after that and tried to stop, you know, the nuclear power, the nuclear missile crisis and all that and trying, anyway, so, so my dad covers it, but, but right before he left for Moscow and he did, he was interested in Asia. Um, so he didn't really understand what this guy's meeting him in a coffee shop in New York City saying, I want you to keep your eyes on, you know, anyway, so then, then he looked back afterwards and was like, wait. And so then that's probably why I was sat next to Mrs. Powers, who was, ended up being a raging alcoholic, supposedly Gary Powers was gay. Um, at this time.

• 31:36Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, who could have thought a man named Gary Powers would turn out to be the most gay porn name I've ever heard in the spy plane.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  And you can watch, there's a book and then the movie, The Bridge of Spies, which my dad has mentioned in, but then of course Spielberg made a total farce of that, making.

• 31:51Kurt Metzger?

  Spielberg.

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, so in but in um during when that that book was based on something not have nothing interesting compared to what the real story was, but you know, then the Russians gave us three American, three spies, the KGB spies for Gary Powers, which was also like another loss for America. Um, and um, so anyway, but while my dad's at that, he he's on the same airplane and the other journalists like, what the hell, then he's sitting next to Barbara Powers, then they have an adjoining uh hotel room in Moscow, and he's hiding her alcohol, like bottles of alcohol, because she's an alcoholic, you know, self medicating. Um, and she's supposed to be representing, you know, this wife of

• 32:34Speaker 04

  an American, you know, hero at that point. Um, so there's a lot of pressure. Anyway, um, that's where and so then he, my dad, you know, covers the trial. It's a giant embarrassment. And even the Russians to toy with the Americans had sent pieces of supposedly the plane, the Gary, you know, the U two spy plane, which was like billion dollar project, you know, shipper, um, um, to the Americans and the American, we were like, but they actually sent a Russian plane just to toy with even more. So that then we said, so we just said giant embarrassment for America, right? Uh, we were spying. And so there is an idea that, you know, this was a false flag, like they purposely, you know, that's why he lived, he got shot down, you know, this is from the Americans. Um, so anyway, so long, so

• 33:19Speaker 04

  then he comes back to New York and then and then another guy meets him and says, you're going to be going to Moscow to open the bureau for ABC News.

• 33:26Kurt Metzger?

  Your dad.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. And then two seconds later, he gets this, you know, job to say, hey, do you want to go open? Because ABC News was like the third tier news agency at those point, like in nineteen sixty one. So the, you know, the Powers trial was nineteen, I think, fifty nine, nineteen sixty.

• 33:43Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, wait, I forgot one question. How is he supposed to have taken his own life if caught? Was it like?

• 33:49Speaker 04

  He had a coin. Um, you can see Gary Powers' son, uh, Gary Powers Jr. Has a whole like museum dedicated to it. But so he had a coin, like a metal, you know, a coin with a little cyanide needle in it. And he was supposed to puncture himself and then he would have died immediately.

• 34:04Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, look at that. Oh, that's wild.

• 34:09Duncan Trussell?

  Shit.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, so, so anyway, so then my dad, well, he's like, okay, I'm a young journalist, you know, why I might as well go. He was born in nineteen twenty nine, so he's nineteen when he wrote a letter to the FBI.

• 34:20Kurt Metzger?

  Look at that.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  And now it's like ten years later, you know, and then he's in his early twenties and he opens, um, why, I do, okay, so I skipped the point in the, in the, uh, he became a UN correspondent in New York Afterlife Magazine. And that's where he was meeting with the FBI and they were, they'd like meet in a coffee shop and he was meeting a lot of Russians. He was really funny, you know, he had vaudeville and comedy and acting, you know, Zero Mostel was a friend of my great uncle's.

• 34:48Kurt Metzger?

  Really?

• 34:48Speaker 04

  Ray Bradbury and John Huston was a best friend and, yeah, there's like, so my dad grew up in this kind of, you know, vaudeville Hollywood.

• 34:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  Um, you know, but really amazing, um, uh, Stravinsky, you know, really interesting Jewish, uh, art culture. So, um, and my dad was, you know, had a sense of humor, he was funny. Anyway, so he starts meeting, well, the, I've got all these documents from the FBI and they've been following him. Everything's from to directly to Hoover. So this is, you know, flash forward to twenty twenty two, when I'm reading all these documents that were released and then more were released in twenty twenty five. Um, and they started following my father in their fifties. Um, and then, um, to develop him as a double agent or a sleeper agent. I didn't know this.

• 35:34Kurt Metzger?

  What does that mean? Like, like?

• 35:36Speaker 04

  Well, this is where the like kind of MK alter kind of stuff comes in.

• 35:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 35:40Speaker 04

  They did a huge, you could go to the FBI, uh, vault and just type in Sam Jaffe and then there's a whole five hundred and eighty seven documents, but still a ton is redacted. Anyway, so it's a hard story to tell because it's kind of, but anyway, so my dad, um, my dad, uh, started meeting with the FBI in the fifties. Um, and was an informant unpaid, but he was, you know, it's the Cold War and he watched his uncle and his uncle's friends get blacklisted during McCarthyism, right? So he was like, I'm gonna, I'll tell you what I, I find, you know, at the UN when I'm meeting these other UN diplomats from Russia. Of course, they were all really spies. There was no regular, you know, most of the diplomats in those days were spies, American and Russian.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  So, um, so he, he started meeting with the FBI and then they started doing extensive background checks on my dad, his first wife, my dad's parents, his first wife's parents, blah, blah. So it's a fascinating thing where you can read all this stuff where they're following him around. They don't know if they can trust my dad, but they're like, God, he's doing really well. He's meeting all these people. He, you know, he seems to be a loyal American who wants to, you know, maybe can, we can use him.

• 36:52Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  So, um, so, uh,

• 36:56Kurt Metzger?

  So was he trying to bust commi- like, this is my question. The reason they would accuse him of being Soviet or something was because he was either, because the McCarthy hearings, I didn't realize the backstory of that, but there was a plot from the communists. And, um, it was actually kind of Democrat thing to, uh, that's one that Roy Cohn's sitting on, right, where Roy Cohn becomes prominent. So, like, what's really hard for me to figure out is, I know that Hoover, that's when, and Roy Cohn and them, that's when they began this kind of like blue hotel room, what's it called? Uh, you know, where they're doing, it's all like gay blackmail that's still to this day.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  Yeah. Um, Supposedly they, they watched each other have sex and stuff, yeah.

• 37:39Kurt Metzger?

  So would Sam, would Sam Jaffe be a spy, like, for the FBI on the CIA or for the Soviets on, like, or some faction? I'm not clear like what, yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  My dad, my dad, Sam Jaffe, yeah, he was an informant for both, but unknowingly and knowingly, knowingly. Um, there was even a point in the 50s when, when the FBI was like, hey, you know, now we're like, you know, we got this guy. He seems amazing. He's a journalist, perfect cover. We were desperate for, you know, spies to go over to Russia. Um, and so he started to get to know a few Russians at the UN. They had him throw parties for the Russians. Uh, then his wife, who was, her name is, uh, Fifi, or, um, she came from a rich, the, uh, Beaumont family, which is May Company. She was a Jewish woman, but had a lot of money. I think was excited by my dad, you know, meeting my dad in New York and getting married and having two kids.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  But then she got kind of bored and she was also a little crazy. So she, she starts threatening to tell the KGB that my dad is working with the FBI.

• 38:44Duncan Trussell?

  Damn.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  And then there's documents saying that the FBI is like, wait, what are we going to do with your out of control wife? And then they're like, my dad's like, I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

• 38:52Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's a real Yenta of if you.

• 38:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, and then they say, you know what? We can just put her in a mental institution.

• 38:58Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, oh, thank God. Whoa.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  The FBI was like, ready to put her in a mental institution.

• 39:04Kurt Metzger?

  We do it all the time.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  Yeah. So, so then my dad divorces her, gets sent to Moscow, becomes ABC bureau chief in Moscow. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, during the Kennedy assassination, he's reporting, he's getting to know more Russians. He's compromised three times. So this is 1961 to 1965. Um, three car accidents with, uh, you know, Russian woman slash prostitute slash whatever. Then there was another car accident where he was drunk and hit a guy and it was set up. Um, the one with the woman, there was a.

• 39:40Kurt Metzger?

  Is Charlie Sheen a secret agent? Is that what I'm to take?

• 39:43Speaker 04

  Yes, exactly. Anyway, so I don't know. I couldn't believe, I'm like, my dad's like such an idiot, but he was set up for these. And he kept going back right directly to the, you know, American Embassy in Moscow.

• 39:54Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry to cut you off. Did your, did your, when, do you remember in your childhood, did you ever have a car accident with your dad?

• 40:01Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, we did. Yeah.

• 40:03Duncan Trussell?

  He was a horrible driver.

• 40:06Kurt Metzger?

  It's not like James Bond in the movie. Wait, so is you?

• 40:09Speaker 04

  No, it's a little like James Bond, but it's not a lot. Yeah.

• 40:12Kurt Metzger?

  Well, there's a Manchurian candidate aspect to it.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 40:15Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Wait, I, I have to run to the bathroom. But okay, Duncan. But, um, okay.

• 40:22Speaker 04

  Do you want to go to the bathroom? I can hold on.

• 40:24Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, let me go because I.

• 40:26Duncan Trussell?

  Just do it here.

• 40:29Kurt Metzger?

  Boy, when you wear that mask, it emboldens you.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:33Kurt Metzger?

  We bought that foreskin sleeve.

• 40:34Duncan Trussell?

  Do it here.

• 40:35Kurt Metzger?

  You can't imagine what Duncan is dressed like right now.

• 40:39Duncan Trussell?

  Release yourself.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  I'm looking forward to seeing it.

• 40:42Kurt Metzger?

  All right, one sec.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  I'm good.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  Hi Duncan.

• 40:47Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, thanks for coming on the show.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for having me. I've been trying to figure this stuff out like almost my whole life.

• 40:54Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, what a, what a, what an intense father to have. You know, like, how many, how many kids would fantasize about their dad being a spy? Like, it's, it's cool, but you have the actual thing. I mean, that's pretty scary. Like, what, how old were you when you found out that you was more than a journalist?

• 41:17Speaker 04

  It was my whole childhood, we were suing, we ended up suing the FBI and the CIA under the Freedom Information Act. And my dad was represented by the ACLU, and that started in the early 70s. I was born in 65 in Moscow.

• 41:29Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  And so, my whole childhood, um, my dad, so he worked at, as a bureau chief for ABC News, and then he, we got ousted, we got kicked out of Moscow in 65, when I was eight and a half months old, and we went to Hong Kong, and he covered Vietnam for, as ABC News bureau chief, based in Hong Kong, but covering Vietnam. Um, and then, we got kicked out of Hong Kong and came to Washington DC in 1969.

• 41:58Duncan Trussell?

  Four.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  And that's when these rumors started coming out, um, by a British intelligence, actually, a British intelligence agent told my dad that he's got some problem. And, um, uh, what goes, what, okay, so, I'll wait till Kurt gets back to it.

• 42:13Duncan Trussell?

  Well, okay, this is a question you probably won't have to, how, if you had to guess, how many addresses have you, did you have in your childhood? How many times did you move?

• 42:22Speaker 04

  Oh, we actually ended up only moving, like, a few times.

• 42:26Duncan Trussell?

  You ended up in DC?

• 42:28Speaker 04

  We ended up in, yeah, Bethesda, Maryland. We first DC, uh, at a building in Chevy Chase, which was full of spies, called the Irene, which now I, and even Kennedy's secretary lived there. Like, I mean, it is just, everywhere you look, there is just another fascinating, crazy story that you could not make up. Like, you literally, you know.

• 42:47Duncan Trussell?

  But isn't Bethesda, Maryland, like notoriously, like, a hotbed of intelligence?

• 42:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 42:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. DC, Virginia, you know, the DMV, DC, Virginia, Maryland.

• 42:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  And um, yes, stuff didn't get really bad. My dad was like, supposed to be, you know, following in like Walter Cronkite's footsteps. Ted Koppel took over for my dad in Hong Kong. Um, but um, are you back Kurt?

• 43:15Duncan Trussell?

  He's back.

• 43:17Kurt Metzger?

  Sorry, I couldn't find my headphones.

• 43:18Speaker 04

  Okay, so, okay, so um, I know it's a lot to take in, but so in Moscow, you know, he's doing really well, is on the news all the time, reporting, you know, ABC News from Moscow.

• 43:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 43:30Speaker 04

  Um, he would come back on these tours and they'd have these um, with other journalists, um, you know, discussing the um, you know, the world news and stuff and um, and he was really doing well. Um, meanwhile, he was still reporting, but you had to, not only was he, you know, reporting back to the FBI and the CIA, so were every other journalist.

• 43:52Kurt Metzger?

  Right. That's exactly, yeah, wait, so is that Mockingbird, is that they were all in on it?

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, Mockingbird started out with just two journalists, but now it's kind of been applied to the whole idea of, yeah, so, and I think what my dad's problem is, is he was being used, and then he, um, and then, well, in Vietnam, he started, I have letters, he's writing to my mom, he's writing articles, then they're, ABC, I mean, ABC's not airing his news articles about CIA drug issues, you know, and like importing and exporting drugs out of Vietnam and drugging all the soldiers and, you know, all, and that he said he shouldn't be in Vietnam. My dad was like, they don't understand us. He went into the Ho Chi Minh Trail, like tried to find that, and he was trying to get a visa to North Vietnam.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Um, and they actually pulled it. Um, and at this point too, he finds out that there's a secret uh, bank account um, that ABC has in New York, that's because he called about some receipts to be reimbursed, and then they're like, we don't have this account, like ABC accounting was like, no, you know, and then he's like, well, I'm getting money from this other account. And so this looks like the CIA was paying ABC to keep my dad.

• 45:03Kurt Metzger?

  That's how they do it to this day! They still do that and then they go, no, we didn't ever pay any money, but they gave it.

• 45:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 45:09Kurt Metzger?

  That's why Rachel Maddow, where she'll go, no, I don't get paid by Big Pharma and Raytheon, but no, it goes like the whole news channel. Their money's coming from those places. So like, that's why Anderson Cooper got so much money during COVID and all these. They're all Mockingbird fucking spies, all of them.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, and, and you know, Anderson Cooper did work as an intern at the CIA as a kid.

• 45:33Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, well, there's no conflict there.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  Connecting the docks. Yeah.

• 45:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Strange albino gay man. I mean, holy shit.

• 45:40Duncan Trussell?

  I bet he was a great intern.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  All these rich families, you know.

• 45:44Kurt Metzger?

  And they're creeps, dude. His mom's an occultist creep. You ever see a picture of them?

• 45:47Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 45:48Kurt Metzger?

  On the bed.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  With all that stuff she collected.

• 45:50Duncan Trussell?

  Pull that picture up. It's wild.

• 45:51Kurt Metzger?

  Was your dad ever like into that? You know, cause I think that this is just my, my, there you go. Look at that.

• 45:57Duncan Trussell?

  Go back to the other one, the other one. That's a good one.

• 45:59Kurt Metzger?

  That's a drawing of it, but yeah, look at behind. That's the Magnamater behind her head. I'm almost positive.

• 46:05Duncan Trussell?

  Wish you could see this. You've probably seen it.

• 46:07Kurt Metzger?

  It's, it's Gloria Vanderbilt on the bed with her young.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've seen it.

• 46:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. So is that the Magnamater like Ty Bell? You think?

• 46:16Speaker 04

  Maybe. I mean, you're asking me?

• 46:18Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Did you ever look at what the, so the, this pops.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  I did look at it. I mean, it looked totally creepy and there's tons of information about that.

• 46:24Kurt Metzger?

  So the, yeah, the Magnamater, yep.

• 46:26Speaker 04

  Her other son fell out a window, which was a little weird, but you know.

• 46:30Kurt Metzger?

  Like, really?

• 46:32Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:33Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, that sucks.

• 46:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, in New York. He's a teenager, I think, or young.

• 46:36Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I saw him by the Comedy Cellar when, after he bought that firehouse. He used to be next to the Boston Comedy Club, Duncan.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:44Kurt Metzger?

  And now Anderson Cooper bought the firehouse next to it to live in. And it was like all the original, like vintage hoses were still hanging up. He still was afraid it might not be gay enough though, believe it or not. Anyway, he looked great for having just had kids. I gotta say, his body's in tip top shape.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 47:00Duncan Trussell?

  So you're, so how, how old were you?

• 47:02Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, but do you think your dad, so like Ghislaine Maxwell's dad, Robert Maxwell was some kind of like, you know, like the, all his soul was taken out of him in World War II and he became this double agent on both sides, ended up getting killed. Like your dad didn't, even though like obviously trying to ruin his life at some point, it doesn't sound like they were going to straight up kill him, right? Like, what, do you think your dad was ever, uh, uh, in the occult part of it? Cause he's from Odessa.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  Um.

• 47:30Kurt Metzger?

  Or do you think he's just a patriotic guy?

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Growing up, um, he had a bunch of trauma. Um, he was molested. Um, my grandmother's brother supposedly molested him and then there were some Japanese gardeners. He grew up in San Francisco, supposedly molested him. And then he was in, you know, World War II as a teenager and then in Korea. And so, and he, he had had scrap nul and frostbite. So he had seen, you know, terrible things and he's smart and he's funny. And then, you know, he's trying to be patriotic. And I think, and then I was, I was going to a, um, Jefferson Morley, who's a journalist who has a, a YouTube, I mean, he, he has meetings every week about the JFK assassination. And I talked to some

• 48:12Speaker 04

  of those guys that are, you know, big JFK assassination buffs. And they were like, you know, your dad was perfect target for brainwashing and sleeper agent, you know, because he had this trauma. They look for smart, but trauma.

• 48:24Kurt Metzger?

  The dissociation, your dad's funny. Yeah. And that's a perfect candidate for the Sirhan, Sirhan treatment.

• 48:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. So, and, and they, and you can read, I only have, I mean, out of these 587 documents from the FBI, I only have some of it because a lot of it is still redacted 50, 60, 70 years later, 80 years later.

• 48:44Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on, that's not it. Oh, wait, wait, wait, Tanner, that, first of all, you're spelling Sirhan. I, I'm, I'm just saying that, I'm just, Sirhan, Sirhan's the guy that shot RFK, not whoever this is.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, no.

• 48:54Kurt Metzger?

  Not Charles and Sirhan. So what happened was he just brought up a, something unrelated, uh, on the screen. I just meant as in Sirhan, Sirhan, the guy that shot and who was one of the most hypnotizable people ever, according to, was it Gottlieb? Somebody, whoever said he was the most hypnotized, hypnotizable person ever, or suggestible.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:14Kurt Metzger?

  He could make Sirhan, Sirhan grab the bars of his cell and like climb up the side of him like that movie with James McElroy from, uh, M Night Shyamalan.

• 49:23Duncan Trussell?

  How, how, how old were you when, when they, when they started doing this mind control stuff on your father? I mean, it sounds like it's kind of a slow drip, but did you notice his personality change? Did you notice some shift as this was happening to him?

• 49:42Speaker 04

  So I was born in nineteen sixty five, so my, and he met my mom in Moscow. This is his second wife, um, and I was born after that. Um, my dad got to Moscow in nineteen sixty one as bureau chief, and then he met my mom who's from New Zealand. Okay, this is another wrinkle. She's from Inva Cargill, which is the southernmost city in, in the, you know, in the world, in the bottom of the South Island of New Zealand. Somehow at twenty two, she gets herself from New Zealand to being an au pair with the State Department family at, uh, in Moscow. Okay. And she's like nine years younger. She meets my dad at a party, they get married, they have me. And then, um, and then she's also had trauma. Um, I didn't know this till after she died, but she had two births before, uh, she met my dad and gave them up for adoption.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  Anyway, but, so, um, but like most young New Zealand women are not going to Moscow. So, so she- So weird. So we moved to, then we get kicked out of Moscow in nineteen sixty five and we go to Hong Kong. Why'd you get kicked out? Covering, um, because this guy, John Scally, did a for, false report about an ousting of, uh, at the Kremlin. And, um, and my dad said, don't, don't publish that story. Scally was a bureau chief in Washington, um, for ABC News. And my dad said, don't, we don't know if this is true. Scally was actually, if you see Scally, he also worked as PR for Nixon and he was CIA and he was a journalist. I mean, there's just so many overlaps and my dad did not like John Scally.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  And I have a phone call of my mom calling John Scally, my dad saying like, hey, can you tell us what's going on in the seventies? But anyway, so, um, we get kicked out of Russia. They, they closed the ABC News Bureau and we get sent, ABC sends us to Hong Kong. And then my dad is on the front line at the Tet Offensive and speaking out against the Vietnam War. Um, and my mom's with him actually going in to find the Ho Chi Minh Trail and all this crazy stuff, which is, she's not like a regular wife. There's actually a new book out about the CIA wives and how, how all these diplomats' wives were also CIA. You know, I don't know her, but so anyway, so then we, then we get kicked out of Hong Kong. But right before we get, leave Hong Kong, there's a British agent, intelligence agent, which is also in the documents. Um, saying that, um, my dad is in trouble.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  Because there's a defector named Yuri Nusanko who comes over in nineteen sixty.

• 51:56Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 51:57Speaker 04

  Let's see nineteen sixty two, nineteen sixty three from um he's he's a he's supposed to be high ranking KGB. He comes over after the Kennedy assassination because at that point we weren't sure, some of us, you know, in the government weren't sure. Who um who actually, you know, killed Kennedy and God forbid it's Russians, then that would be another war, you know.

• 52:17Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 52:18Speaker 04

  So um so so this is another fascinating story, but my dad, but. Nusanko also has a list of Americans working with the KGB. My dad's name is on that list. And so then they start to question my dad um and he comes back uh in. He he got held by the FBI for three days and left crying.

• 52:40Kurt Metzger?

  Wow.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  He was interrogated.

• 52:43Kurt Metzger?

  Why crying like from?

• 52:46Speaker 04

  Well, I'm not sure what they did to him because that's all redacted, but um you know, who knows what they did. Uh and this is like nineteen sixty nine, I think.

• 52:54Kurt Metzger?

  I wonder if they knew how to access programming on someone and like the reason you program people. You want people that don't know they're spies to be spies. That's why you do this.

• 53:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 53:04Kurt Metzger?

  You want killers that don't know they're killers. It's in all the movies.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, he literally was accused of being a sleeper agent and a double agent. Um and then, of course, the KGB thought he was a CIA spy and then the age Chinese intelligence thought he was FBI, CIA. It just goes around and around.

• 53:23Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you know, here in Austin, because of Joe Rogan's program, because I don't know. I don't know why all all Democrats think that Joe Rogan's podcast is the new seat of Western Western power.

• 53:33Duncan Trussell?

  They do.

• 53:34Kurt Metzger?

  They're very angry at him as as he's the decider of Trump. You know, like you really are stoop. I mean, you're really dumb as fuck if you think that, but a lot of people do. So you can see the use in having agents around. Who may or may not know their agents and there are so many, I met so many people just through Joe Show, definitely Duncan has where. I don't know if they're an Asian of somebody. I mean, it's definitely like being near Fort Bragg, I think down here. It's lousy with spooks.

• 53:58Duncan Trussell?

  Well, there seems to be a there seems to be like a gray area in between being a full on agent and just some kind of useful idiot.

• 54:05Kurt Metzger?

  Or you're a cutout or that's what my new pilot, the cutout is about. And by the way, not to plug it, but it'll be on YouTube. But anyway. Uh, the, you know, it's like almost we're in a mass phase role, like a ma- a mass rollout of this stuff where they don't really need to do the old ways they used to do because they have so much more screen time and programming of people. So you could have hypnotic phrases introduced. I listen to idiot. Well, people that are smart say the most idiotic things to me and they're saying like a catchphrase that you could tell was a hypnotic induction, no question. Every boomer watching Fox and CNN or any of them, they will babble the just nonsense at you. It's frightening.

• 54:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 54:45Kurt Metzger?

  But your dad was getting it like right from the tap, it sounds like.

• 54:48Duncan Trussell?

  But it also sounds like he invited it on himself accidentally with that letter to the FBI, right? He got on their radar and then all these things happened. The adjoining room, you've got to wonder if she was some, you know, it, it, the whole thing gets so complex and it would be so easy to start wondering how much of all of these things, including the defector and his name on a list. How much of that was real and how much of that was designed to pull your father deeper into a system where he could be conditioned?

• 55:19Kurt Metzger?

  Did he get memories back ever?

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Um, well, he, most of the, most of my childhood, I watched him and my mom, uh, you know, we sued, uh, Sam and June Jaffe versus the FBI and the CIA under the Freedom of Information Act to get the documents of why the FBI and the CIA, I believe my dad was a foreign agent. And then ACLU represented my parents and it went, it took about 15 years, but it was like seven plus years of the lawsuit and that was my childhood and we'd go down to Washington to federal court, this Judge Barrington Parker and he, Barrington Parker got so angry at the FBI because CIA finally, Colby, uh, William Colby, Bill Colby came out.

• 56:00Kurt Metzger?

  The one they found in the river later.

• 56:02Speaker 04

  Yeah. In the, yeah, in the lake. Yeah. Nine days after his canoe was found. Um, so that's another thing. Cause this all ties into Epstein, like literally like, um, because it ties into, cause Colby was trying to speak out about the Franklin, because Colby did some horrible, horrible things, you know, in Vietnam and you know, we know all these.

• 56:20Kurt Metzger?

  That's Phoenix, right?

• 56:21Speaker 04

  Everything. Yeah. So everything in like this 74, 75, 76, when my dad started this, this, you know, uh, Lawsuit against the FBI and CIA to get the documents because he left ABC News in 1969 because he started getting like the cherry blossom festival and Nixon's daughter's birthday party and he's like, what like, you know, I'm a, I'm amazing correspondent. Yeah. And he missed the sixties. He didn't understand this like hippie culture and all this because he was in Moscow, you know, and then anyway, so, um, so he starts speaking out about this and he, he, we started the lawsuit. He starts getting interviewed. He was on Tom Schneider and he talked about, um, a few years before that, he, uh, he was on, uh, Maury Povich actually

• 57:06Speaker 04

  had a good TV show in DC back, a local TV show and he spoke, my dad said, you know, Cronkite is also, um, working, uh, he's, uh, cooperating with the CIA and the FBI. And so that caused this crazy meeting in, um, Daniel Shore writes about it. Um, Bush Senior just became head of the CIA and supposedly because Colby was testifying during the church committee, you know, in the House Intelligence Committee, uh, they, all of a sudden, you know, Watergate was happening, it's 1974, 75, 76. And then the, the, um, the CIA started

• 57:48Speaker 04

  to say like, oh, we can't, we don't have freedom anymore. Colby really spilled the beans because he had felt so guilty about all the horrific stuff he did, you know, with, uh, being CIA director that he, um, that he, and he found, I guess, some religion, Catholicism. Wow. So he decided to kind of flip and start working, you know, and telling the truth. And, and then, so that was in the early, that was mid seventies. And then, so he resigns and then George Bush takes over as the head of CIA. Yeah, that's right, right there. Clamp. Yeah. And there's, now there's a clamp on, um, on the CIA doing, you know, the secret shell toxins that can kill millions, you know, hundreds of thousands of people in one vial and, you know, all that stuff started coming out and, and Watergate comes

• 58:32Speaker 04

  out sort of, you know, and then, so then George Bush starts this thing called the Safari Club. That's promising. Have you heard of the Safari Club? No.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  So it's, it's like, it's, it's CIA, um,

• 58:47Speaker 04

  It's BCCI, which is, uh, Bush, Bush Senior has a, a private secret account there. It's a French, Iranian, Egyptian, Saudis. It's a, it's a secret club based, um, in South Africa, like on a beautiful place that, that, and, and Khashoggi, okay? So you've got these same people, you know, like

• 59:11Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, Adnan or the sainted Jamal Khashoggi that I'm supposed to believe is a journalist and not a

• 59:16Speaker 04

  No, the, the Adnan, but, but like you've got these same names, Bush, you've got, you know, um, popping up and that, that's where they could do more of their, you know, the crimes under this safari club.

• 59:28Duncan Trussell?

  Holy shit.

• 59:29Speaker 04

  Shadow instead of, so, cause, cause, so see, I did, actually, we got a little transparent there, which is amazing. And then, um,

• 59:36Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the group's purpose was to oppose Soviet influence by supporting anti-communists. So that means

• 59:41Speaker 04

  Same excuse.

• 59:42Kurt Metzger?

  Any rat bastard occultist psychopath cartel, fucking any nightmare you have. As long as they're not communists, we should support it. And that's exactly what they did. And so that's why we've done all, well, I'm saying we, I didn't do nothing. But that's why they've done all the worst shit.

• 59:58Duncan Trussell?

  But wait, the safari, wait, oh, sorry.

• 1:00:00Kurt Metzger?

  Safari club, oh my god.

• 1:00:02Duncan Trussell?

  The safari club, Bush starts this, is this, so this is not the CIA or, or is it?

• 1:00:09Speaker 04

  That, what, this one writer called it the second CIA.

• 1:00:13Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my god.

• 1:00:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, this is the inner agency.

• 1:00:16Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:00:17Kurt Metzger?

  The inner agency is about, yeah.

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  Kissinger said it, yeah. He said it was perfect because it's plausible deniability.

• 1:00:25Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  And then this was to launder Saudi and American money through the BCCI, the Bank of Credit and Commerce International, which George Bush and Agnac Khashoggi, you know, anyway, they had all this money to develop more, you know, assassinations and spying and, and, you know, false flag situations to continue their stuff because they did get held up a little bit in the early seventies. During this time, so in the mid seventies. And then my dad goes out on this TV show with Maury Povich and says Cronkite is a spy, uh, or I mean, he said he worked with, you know, CIA and that he wasn't paid and he also said um there were a couple of other journalists and

• 1:01:01Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, you're saying Cronkite was for free working for the CIA. Is that what you're saying?

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, they all were.

• 1:01:07Kurt Metzger?

  He's the voice from Bohemian Grove at the at the burning of the wooden boy.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  And he was on, he was, yeah, he was with Epstein and photographs.

• 1:01:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, consider me proud to stand at the right hand of Lucifer. That's a quote of him.

• 1:01:23Kurt Metzger?

  He's a piece of shit. Um, first of all.

• 1:01:25Speaker 04

  So yeah, so this, yeah, yeah, go on, sorry.

• 1:01:28Duncan Trussell?

  But when you say he's not being compensated, I am sort of curious about that.

• 1:01:34Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that means he's got deeper ties to it.

• 1:01:36Duncan Trussell?

  He was getting something out of it, yeah.

• 1:01:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, real creepy shit.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  My dad spoke, so then there was the church committee and the um the House Intelligence Committee in those times. So my dad had to go under like secret oaths to testify about his saying that I'm a journalist. I worked with with, I didn't, you know, I was cooperating, I wasn't paid, but with the FBI and the CIA. So was everybody else, though. It wasn't just me. Esquire did a big article. Carl Bernstein did a big article uh at this time.

• 1:02:06Kurt Metzger?

  And Bernstein is a questionable guy.

• 1:02:09Speaker 04

  Well, and Bernstein names my dad but doesn't talk about himself, you know, obviously.

• 1:02:13Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah, that phony and that, yeah, Woodward from Navy Intel.

• 1:02:17Speaker 04

  Woodward, exactly.

• 1:02:18Kurt Metzger?

  His first story is Watergate and then he never has anything good he does ever the fuck again. All his, his John Belushi book is just a smear job on Belushi.

• 1:02:29Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, totally.

• 1:02:30Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, he's a piece of shit.

• 1:02:32Speaker 04

  This was Operation Mockingbird. It's using these writers and journalists and big names and, you know, they were with the, so you've got the Washington Post.

• 1:02:40Kurt Metzger?

  Here's a question. Then what is the use of Barry Weiss?

• 1:02:45Kurt Metzger?

  You know, putting Barry Weiss in charge of CBS, I mean, a husk.

• 1:02:49Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, wait, hold on. You are not implying

• 1:02:51Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Duncan Trussell?

  that the modern CIA is still doing this stuff, are you?

• 1:02:55Kurt Metzger?

  Well, this would be Mossad.

• 1:02:57Speaker 04

  It's actually doing it in such, right in front of us, like it was already doing it in front of us, but now we know they're doing it in front of us.

• 1:03:04Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no, that's not true.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 1:03:06Kurt Metzger?

  Doesn't take your mask.

• 1:03:08Duncan Trussell?

  That's not true. No, no, no, no, the CIA, stop.

• 1:03:11Kurt Metzger?

  Cut the shit.

• 1:03:11Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever been to CIA.gov? It's the new CIA. They don't do this anymore. It's a much better, go to CIA.gov.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:03:19Duncan Trussell?

  Go to CIA.gov right now.

• 1:03:22Speaker 04

  I know, of course.

• 1:03:22Duncan Trussell?

  Look.

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  No, because Bush said, Bush said that you became director of the CIA.

• 1:03:25Duncan Trussell?

  Does it look like they do that? Look at that beautiful building. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to cut you off, but...

• 1:03:29Kurt Metzger?

  The first line of defense from its own citizens and they're doing a great job.

• 1:03:32Duncan Trussell?

  Look, just click on today's CIA.

• 1:03:35Kurt Metzger?

  I told you, even, I can't get hired there because I'm a fat Puerto Rican woman, Duncan.

• 1:03:40Duncan Trussell?

  Tell me if you see anything about this kind of...

• 1:03:41Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, they do hire fat Puerto Rican women? Maybe I can, Duncan.

• 1:03:44Duncan Trussell?

  They do. Look, look. Scroll down.

• 1:03:46Kurt Metzger?

  Duncan, maybe I can be in the CIA.

• 1:03:48Duncan Trussell?

  You could be in the CIA. Scroll down. What does it say? "We are the nation's first line of defense. We accomplish what others cannot accomplish and go where others cannot go." That doesn't say anything about this, this tomfoolery.

• 1:03:59Kurt Metzger?

  We have to be initiated into the higher, into the mystery, mythreic fucking underground horseshit that is the CIA.

• 1:04:06Duncan Trussell?

  Speaking of mythreic underground horseshit, I have to go use the restroom. I'll be right back.

• 1:04:10Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, hold on. We'll be right back. This is just getting good, though. Alright.

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  Okay. Yeah, there's a lot more. There's so much more. I need help.

• 1:04:21Kurt Metzger?

  I'm back.

• 1:04:23Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:04:23Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. I like how this bunches up my, uh, my fro and the size of my height.

• 1:04:28Duncan Trussell?

  It looks good.

• 1:04:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it looks great.

• 1:04:30Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my gosh, so this is getting good. So let's keep going here.

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  Okay, there's so much. Well, here, um, this is a quote from my dad, um, after, or this was right after he got interrogated for three and a half days by the FBI. Um, and, uh, it was a debriefing. And it's a common courtesy of foreign correspondents to the agency in those days, right? So it was just like, that's what you do, you know? It was considered not a big deal, common courtesy. Every journalist did this. Um, and so my dad goes in for the debriefing. He emerges later weeping. Um, every word and act of his past seven years abroad had doubled back on itself and now everything looks suspicious inside of a book, um, written about my dad, but...

• 1:05:15Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean, what do you, what do you mean by that? It doubled back on itself? Like his own record made it look...

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  Well, they twisted everything because this is right when

• 1:05:22Duncan Trussell?

  That's what they do.

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  When the FBI and the CIA had, well, they found spies within themselves, you know, and then counterintelligence, you got James Jesus Angleton freaking out, and they've got this Yuri Nusenko, who they built a cell for in Virginia, and it was a cell they kept him in for over a year. This is this effector Yuri Nusenko, who's supposed to be high ranking KGB.

• 1:05:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:44Speaker 04

  He names my dad on the list, but then we don't trust him. So we put him, because his information wasn't, wasn't, we already had all the information he gave us. Um, we didn't, they didn't have the, my dad working with the KGB, but, so we put him, the CIA put him in a, a locked, you know, a no windows, um, cell, and he ended up making, you can't make this up, he got so crazy, um, they gave him, his teeth started falling out, so they gave him some toothpaste. He kept reading the, the, um, ingredients of the toothpaste over and over again because he was so starved for, I mean, we, no matter how bad you are, you should not be, you know, anyway, and then they took that away from him, then he built a chess set out of dust. Um, and then they took that away from him, like lint and dust.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  And then finally, be, between all this, like, argument, they, they couldn't decide if we could trust him or not, is he a double agent with the, you know, a sleeper agent for KGB?

• 1:06:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  Um, so there, it gets murky, but he still tainted my dad's name, and so nobody would hire my dad. Um, and that's when my dad, you know, went to, went to do this court case.

• 1:06:47Duncan Trussell?

  So your dad's speaking out against Vietnam. So your dad,

• 1:06:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:51Duncan Trussell?

  of course, he's colluding with a communist, and then a KGB agent is like, yeah, he's one of us.

• 1:06:57Speaker 04

  And, yeah, and in the, in the 50s, there was something called the Bang Dong Conference, which, um, my dad went to, and, um, that was the first worldwide conference of third world, uh, countries that got together and said, what are we going to do with the West here? Like, we're, you know, African nations, Egypt and, um, and Indonesia and China. And so my dad went there, and he, he met Joe and Li, who was number two under mouthly tones. This did not help my dad at all either. Um, at this point, later on, you know, Bush becomes the, uh, you know, he, he's the CIA, well, before he was CIA, he was also, um, Chinese, uh, ambassador. Um, and then he becomes CIA.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, but so and then so and so my dad becomes friendly with Joe and Li and then we go back to China for United Press International, UPI, when my dad was blacklisted, but he still got a little jobs here and there. But UPI is supposed to also connected with CIA. So, um, so I was seven years old and we went for three and a half months to China. And I was the first, my sister and I were the first Caucasian children supposedly ever go to Inner Mongolia. And, um, and I got a little

• 1:08:05Kurt Metzger?

  They weren't calling you retarded, were they? These kids are in Inner Mongolia.

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  The, the people in Mongolia were covered in like syphilis, you know, they, they were all inbreeding. It was disgusting.

• 1:08:18Kurt Metzger?

  There you go.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  Seven years old going like, what the hell? You know, anyway, but

• 1:08:21Duncan Trussell?

  This is why I wear condoms when I go to Mongolia.

• 1:08:26Speaker 04

  And I'd already spent my first like three and a half years in Hong Kong with two Chinese Ammas. So I spoke Chinese. I ate with chopsticks. I had to have soy sauce on my hot dogs like when I came to the United States. I cried every time I saw a black person. So I was definitely

• 1:08:40Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, that is Chinese. That's the most Chinese thing I think I've ever heard in my life.

• 1:08:44Speaker 04

  And my mom put me in all black daycare in DC because this is DC in 1969, 1970, where we got the uprising, you know, the riots and stuff. And so

• 1:08:52Kurt Metzger?

  A trial by fire.

• 1:08:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, anyway, there's so much to say, but so my dad said they didn't believe a word. I, I told them, um, I left there crying. I couldn't take it anymore. As I was walking out, one of the agents asked me if I had ever heard of a sleeper agent. The agent said, he's a person who can lie dormant for years and then, and then snap. And here the agent snapped his fingers at me like this, and you can hear my dad saying this on Tom Schneider too. And said, and suddenly become active again. So they were telling him that he was, he was a sleeper agent. Wow. You know, and that, anyway, so

• 1:09:30Kurt Metzger?

  Do you, do you know about the guy that they caught at the Nuremberg trials? The guy that flew his plane, uh, the dopey Nazi that was trying to Rudolph Hess, right? And he, and they, they had the trial with Rudolph Hess. And I didn't know this, but if you look up Joseph P. Farrell's stuff on it, it's really great. But, but when, uh, so one of the Dulles brothers apparently was trying to get into that hearing. I was like, I have information that's not Rudolph Hess. And, uh, apparently, and I, I don't know where there's video of it. I would like to see it, but there's a thing where there's like, um, Goring is like holding up like a book or something to hide that he's laughing because it's not Hess. Because they did this to a guy that just has a heavy, what are them, you know, dissavian brow,

• 1:10:13Kurt Metzger?

  eyebrow ridges of some Teutonic inbred, you know? So they, they just get another guy. He has habits that the, the main guy didn't have. Supposedly Winston Churchill tortured the real guy to death already. And they just did, these techniques go all the way back to the Dalai Lama and before. Remember, they download the Dalai Lama into a new Dalai Lama. How? I take a child. I re-pattern their brain to say, you're this guy. And it's really easy if they're, you could do it to an adult, which they did to this Hess guy, I think. And so if you look it up on Wikipedia, it goes, oh yeah, he started spouting conspiracies and about Jewish mind control. So, uh, there was something about mind control. They're throwing Jewish in front of it to, to make it anti-Semitic

• 1:10:58Kurt Metzger?

  to bring up. But this is a thing that-

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, even Gottlieb, they, supposedly, they, this is what they said in those MK Ultra, Senate, you know-

• 1:11:07Kurt Metzger?

  Those hearings today, yeah.

• 1:11:09Speaker 04

  Yeah. And, yeah, and they were saying that, that Gottlieb was kind of set up in a way too, because he was the only, like, not Yale, not white, you know, um-

• 1:11:17Kurt Metzger?

  At the end of the day, the, it's, yeah, right. The mud, look, there's the muggles-

• 1:11:21Speaker 04

  And they can pin it all on him without, because there's, that's just the tip of the iceberg of-

• 1:11:24Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  Who was involved, right?

• 1:11:25Kurt Metzger?

  If you're not bloodline, you're a muggle. That's the bottom line.

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  Bush went to Yale-

• 1:11:30Kurt Metzger?

  That's right.

• 1:11:30Speaker 04

  His father, his father, Bush Senior, but it was the-

• 1:11:33Kurt Metzger?

  Prescott.

• 1:11:34Speaker 04

  What's his name? Prescott. He was on the board at CBS News.

• 1:11:38Kurt Metzger?

  Jesus. Oh, that's right. Boy, to Barry Weiss now.

• 1:11:42Speaker 04

  Yeah. And when my dad came out and said, you know, that, that Cronkite and, um, who's the other journalist? Couple other journalists were working, um, well, this John Scally, who, who went, jumped over to be President Nixon's, uh, Nixon's special consultant. And then he became, then President Nixon made Scally, who was at ABC, you know, got us thrown out of Russia, became ambassador, uh, to the United Nations.

• 1:12:03Kurt Metzger?

  Now, have you heard this?

• 1:12:05Speaker 04

  They're all switching around and then.

• 1:12:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:12:08Speaker 04

  And then, okay, so all this is happening.

• 1:12:10Kurt Metzger?

  But why are they switching around? Do you notice that they're, see, they're all switching around, like, right from the part where, uh, H W Bush takes over the CIA, right at that point? You could see the whole thing unfolding because of his crime family. The Clintons were part of his crime family. The whole time.

• 1:12:27Speaker 04

  They're all together.

• 1:12:28Kurt Metzger?

  Obama fucking knew them growing up. Cause his mom was a CIA whore with some Indonesian oil baron.

• 1:12:35Duncan Trussell?

  Sex worker.

• 1:12:36Speaker 04

  I didn't know that, but yeah, you gotta be like when those, I mean, I don't know about that, but I mean, when you look at, yeah, I mean.

• 1:12:42Kurt Metzger?

  It's just they, look, like they've, George W, I say, Kathy O'Brien said it too, but I was joking before I heard her say it on Jimmy's show. About him being a Manchurian candidate, but I, I used to joke that Dick Cheney hunted him and his brother naked through the woods, like, uh, Surviving the Game starring Ice T.

• 1:13:00Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:13:01Kurt Metzger?

  And, but no, that is what they do.

• 1:13:03Duncan Trussell?

  Well, that, to me, this is what's so terrifying.

• 1:13:06Kurt Metzger?

  These are the dragon bloods, Duncan.

• 1:13:08Duncan Trussell?

  This is what's scary about this to me.

• 1:13:09Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:13:10Duncan Trussell?

  Is that because we know this is real, this isn't like, this is documented, you can look at the hearings today, we know this is real. Anyone listening or watching this, you have to ask yourself, are you a sleeper agent? You could be.

• 1:13:24Kurt Metzger?

  There's millions of them all over the place and you can see them pop off. And I got, Nathan Reynolds told me, he, I know he's right. This is proprietary technology. Her dad's time, this is when it's the government's doing it, but look at how the government made Facebook and then gave it to some phony AI boy to pretend it's his. So, so think of mind control. There's proprietary, uh, mind control technology out there.

• 1:13:51Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so all the CEOs, why are they psychopaths? Because someone figured out it was a good idea for a court from a corporate standpoint to to have start breeding your next CEO. So all that Jason projects hit, which the movie Twins hilariously kind of touches on with DeVito and Schwarzenegger.

• 1:14:10Speaker 04

  Oh, I gotta watch that.

• 1:14:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's what it's about is their mother was in got knocked up at Epstein Islands. And one was like the Arnold Schwarzenegger one was it's actually for a really funny premise based on real events. Actually, now that I think about it.

• 1:14:24Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 1:14:25Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and then Arnold starred in The Pregnant Man Junior with Danny DeVito, the the Mithra. Anyway, these are these are the Bushes and all them, they all trace their shit to being scioned into the Templar families. And that stupid, you know, every stupid like Illuminati thing you could think of. I've heard, what do they call it, the New World Order of the Rose? That's when they made up with the Catholics with the Jesuits specifically. And then they had a Bush in his helicopter had um black roses on the seats in Air Force Two. That's us and that's Rosa, of course, it goes, it's Rosa Crusian.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  Well, guess, okay, so this is so crazy because if you if you fast forward to like today. I know or like I was in the gay program, I actually got myself into the.

• 1:15:17Kurt Metzger?

  So were we.

• 1:15:18Duncan Trussell?

  We were too.

• 1:15:20Speaker 04

  Oh, my God. Well, and that, okay, and and I remember it being weird and like I had to keep a journal on myself like and anyway. But then then I I um I end up becoming a photographer in New York City. I end up photographing Lauren Bush, who's the niece of the president, you know, the great the granddaughter of. Anyway, the Bush family tries to sue me because I had photographed her for John F Kennedy's George Magazine. And I I have the right as a photographer, you know, under editorial usage to resell those images. And which is so crazy too, because JFK Junior wanted me to shoot her as a pinup. She's like 15 years old and I'm like, okay, she's a girl.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  And he's telling me to shoot her sexy like a Playboy centerfold and I had to do this horizontal shots.

• 1:16:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:06Speaker 04

  With her dad there.

• 1:16:07Kurt Metzger?

  What the fuck?

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  And I'm like, I'm so uncomfortable right now.

• 1:16:10Kurt Metzger?

  This is New York style oligarch, you know.

• 1:16:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, and so then I get introduced to all the fashion magazines and I'm shooting for them and I'm, you know, working with the model agencies and I see all that firsthand, you know, I have like one degree of separation there. And then, you know, and I've, um, I got to know JFK Junior, um, a little bit because my boyfriend at the time, uh, became his creative director and launched the magazine with him, you know, George Magazine.

• 1:16:34Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, wait, wait, wait, Tanner, Tanner, go, a young JFK, see the thing where he's saluting? In the little coat, that famous picture to the right?

• 1:16:41Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:41Kurt Metzger?

  Right there. Okay, do you see that, Duncan?

• 1:16:45Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that guy had already banged way more chicks than you ever will at that age.

• 1:16:51Speaker 04

  Well, he had a terrible father.

• 1:16:52Duncan Trussell?

  How dare you?

• 1:16:53Kurt Metzger?

  He's saluting his own.

• 1:16:54Duncan Trussell?

  You didn't know me when I was a kid, baby.

• 1:16:58Kurt Metzger?

  They're, I'm telling you, these people are fucked up.

• 1:17:00Speaker 04

  That whole other spinoff, like, because, you know, when, to save her life, you know, Jackie Kennedy, whoever he looks up to, like, she was desperate and goes and marries, um, you know, the, um,

• 1:17:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, a pirate, a Greek pirate who probably helped kill.

• 1:17:13Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, wait, let me, can I?

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  His son.

• 1:17:16Duncan Trussell?

  I want, real quick, I just want to point out something, you've got to think about this, like,

• 1:17:20Kurt Metzger?

  You just got mugged.

• 1:17:21Duncan Trussell?

  Your, your dad. I was not mugged.

• 1:17:32Duncan Trussell?

  My god. Your dad.

• 1:17:34Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, hold on, Carly, who would you rather go with, a man in a metal mask? Or this, uh, saluting boy in the waistcoat?

• 1:17:44Kurt Metzger?

  You got mugged.

• 1:17:45Duncan Trussell?

  It's a good question.

• 1:17:47Kurt Metzger?

  No, think about it, don't answer too quick.

• 1:17:49Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you can answer that in a second, but it is interesting to me that your, your dad accused of, you know, being like,

• 1:17:59Duncan Trussell?

  Helping the communists, uh, associated with the CIA, MKUltra, and here you are suddenly hanging out with the royal families of America. Like, surely you can't, how did that happen?

• 1:18:12Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, is that, that's the actor Sam Jaffe, not your dad?

• 1:18:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's my, my great uncle.

• 1:18:17Kurt Metzger?

  The one that looks like a mad scientist is the...

• 1:18:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, he played, he was in Day of the Earth Stood Still, he played, he was in, uh...

• 1:18:23Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, the Day of the Earth Stood Still, I mean, they must have been plugged in, see, here's the thing that's always missing from the disclosure shit, is, if you saw the great movie, uh, Men in Black, where we learn that they protect us by not telling us things, and, because you don't have a mind as sophisticated as Will Smith, you know?

• 1:18:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:18:43Kurt Metzger?

  You couldn't handle the truth.

• 1:18:45Speaker 04

  Smith was so compromised because he'd been, you know, hiding his gayness for so long, I mean, that, you know, and he's a Scientologist, he opened that school for kids, a Scientology school.

• 1:18:54Kurt Metzger?

  That's through, there's a connection there to, um, uh, the Nation Islam, because it's Philly, Nation of Islam, like, they use Scientology, does, you know that, they license it?

• 1:19:07Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, I knew that, and George, George magazine had me shoot the head of the Islam Nation at that point, it took me like 10 hours to get a shot.

• 1:19:15Kurt Metzger?

  Farrakhan?

• 1:19:16Speaker 04

  Uh, no, this was a guy named, um, Conrad Mohammed.

• 1:19:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, wait, the really dark one that said he wished he had white man skin pants?

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  It's one of my best photos, because I ended up having to go to this, like, coffee shop that he hung out in, and he wouldn't let me because of my name and because I'm a woman, I couldn't even touch the ground in, in the, um, in Harlem, where they had the building, so they made me wait at this coffee shop, and I waited like, literally, my assistant went home, and I'm like, I'm just gonna stay, and it got dark.

• 1:19:44Kurt Metzger?

  He tried to pull a Holy Land on you, that is a real...

• 1:19:46Speaker 04

  But I got a picture of him, and he was like, you know, anyway, but...

• 1:19:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I remember him well, because they would always, and by the way, all these provocative, like, the black racist preacher of the fringe cult, they're all CIA, all of them, just like Scientology and all the rest, they're all, just like the hippie music boomers loved, and that's why... Why their brains don't work now.

• 1:20:10Duncan Trussell?

  But you gotta wonder to yourself, like here you are suddenly getting access to all these people. I mean, surely you had to.

• 1:20:17Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look, Gene Hackman.

• 1:20:19Duncan Trussell?

  Hold on, wait, wait. Surely you had to have some paranoia or some sense that you were.

• 1:20:24Speaker 04

  No, I was so naive at that point that I had no idea. Um, you know, so a long story short, it's my dad, actually. So he died in nineteen eighty-five when I was nineteen years old.

• 1:20:33Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  And of of black lung disease. So we sued the, you know, FBI and CIA and the judge. Got to read the, the, um, unredacted information in, in the thousands and thousands of pages of document. Every day my dad.

• 1:20:45Kurt Metzger?

  Black lung?

• 1:20:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:48Kurt Metzger?

  What do you, what do you mean, black lung? Like, what is that?

• 1:20:50Speaker 04

  Well, it was autopsy said black lung disease and, um, he had, he had, was an alcoholic. He had some cirrhosis of the liver. He had, uh, it turned into, uh, lung cancer. Um, but, uh,

• 1:21:01Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  Lung was a little thing that, and I talked to my dad.

• 1:21:04Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I say black lung matters to, uh, Duncan, but he tears my signs off his lung.

• 1:21:09Speaker 04

  Minor.

• 1:21:12Speaker 04

  Um, anyway, but meanwhile, so in nineteen seventy-four, I think, so we went to China seventy-two and seventy-four, and then there's tons of CIA documents when Bush was writing notes on my dad about everything he was doing in Russia and, I mean, in China and he, he got to, you know, meet up with Joe and lie. Meanwhile, the CIA is trying to kill Joe and lie, right? And then before that, um, he was, he interviewed, um, the Dominican Republic guy, uh, Trulia, Trilio.

• 1:21:41Kurt Metzger?

  Truhiyo.

• 1:21:41Speaker 04

  My dad, you can, yeah, there's, I have a video of him interviewing his son after he was assassinated by the CIA.

• 1:21:47Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so.

• 1:21:48Speaker 04

  My dad is in all these spots where we're trying to kill these guys.

• 1:21:51Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, like Sean Penn.

• 1:21:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:53Kurt Metzger?

  Your dad's a Sean Penn of like a man who knew too little.

• 1:21:56Speaker 04

  I almost, I almost, I made a video of this and years ago and I, I saw Sean Penn. I almost gave him the video because his dad was a cute, like, was accused of being communist and stuff. So I thought he might have some sympathy.

• 1:22:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and I, I would accuse his dad of being a diddler as well, uh, because that's part of the program. Yeah, the Hollywood families out there, when you think of the creepy ass sixties, okay?

• 1:22:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:16Kurt Metzger?

  And, and, you know, they make it like it's the acid, but a lot of meth was being passed around. You know, besides just the acid, there's a lot of meth, which I don't know if you know, is not a good, probably not good with acid.

• 1:22:29Duncan Trussell?

  Horrible mix.

• 1:22:31Speaker 04

  No. Well, so and then, and then, oh my God. So then in um.

• 1:22:35Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, company business.

• 1:22:37Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:22:38Kurt Metzger?

  In nineteen ninety, I remember this action film with Gene Hackman, the retired CIA. Wait, why did you bring this up, Connor?

• 1:22:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what do you do? Don't do, don't. Get that off the screen, Tanner. You're a Manchurian.

• 1:22:50Kurt Metzger?

  Girl Tanner, you do something.

• 1:22:51Duncan Trussell?

  We got a Manchurian candidate in the fucking room right now.

• 1:22:55Speaker 03

  We'll keep it on the screen.

• 1:22:56Kurt Metzger?

  Well, do you see these kids they grab now, right? They look like they've been hypnotized down at Old Black Rock.

• 1:23:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. Oh, totally. Oh, totally. I mean, well, that that came out in the MKUltra trials yesterday. They were saying they were bringing it forward to today, saying these kids that are supposedly assassinating, you know, or attempted assassination on all these people, you know, like Trump and Kirk.

• 1:23:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:20Speaker 04

  Obviously not. And if you, if you can, because if we can put this stuff out there, the truth, you're going to connect the dots. It's so obvious. Like, it's, you know, it's.

• 1:23:28Kurt Metzger?

  Tom O'Neill's the guy at the trial. By the way, Tom O'Neill. So me, Duncan's podcast, last year at Skank Fest in New Orleans, we did a podcast with Fitzsimmons and Tom O'Neill. And remember Tom O'Neill was cagey about that stuff when I bring it up, but he was like, oh, I bet this guy will bring. So he knows all about it and he's testifying about it right now.

• 1:23:47Duncan Trussell?

  Wild.

• 1:23:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yep.

• 1:23:49Speaker 04

  Well, and so my dad, um, uh, supposedly he had a, he, my dad's documents that we tried to get are with the Kennedy assassination documents. So when Trump released them in twenty twenty five in March, that's when I got a lot, I got a lot more of my dad's documents.

• 1:24:07Kurt Metzger?

  You got something useful from it?

• 1:24:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, I did.

• 1:24:09Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, good.

• 1:24:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. Um, which was unbelievable because I'm not a fan, but um, and then, so then my dad, my dad in the documents said that um. He had photos of um nineteen seventy-four of the um from the Dallas Police Department. He had photographs of the people that they were rounding up after the assassination. Among those photos were pictures of three hobos and my dad said he could identify them as Howard Hunt and Frank Sturgis. So that got him into trouble too.

• 1:24:39Kurt Metzger?

  E. Howard Hunt.

• 1:24:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, did seventy-four, you know.

• 1:24:42Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know the significance of that? The three hobos?

• 1:24:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:46Kurt Metzger?

  That's a free Masonic thing. The three unworthies that tried to kill Hiram Abiff?

• 1:24:51Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, what the fuck?

• 1:24:53Kurt Metzger?

  It's called psychodrama.

• 1:24:55Duncan Trussell?

  They didn't call them hobos.

• 1:24:56Speaker 04

  Was shut down then too and he brought those.

• 1:24:59Kurt Metzger?

  He's ruining the story.

• 1:25:01Speaker 04

  The FBI already had the photos and we, you know, but but they didn't.

• 1:25:04Kurt Metzger?

  They made sure it went well.

• 1:25:06Speaker 04

  Yeah. So my dad sent them to this guy Dieter Steiner in um at Stern magazine in Germany and they got a person, you know, to to independently look at the pictures and they believe that it could be definitely those people that.

• 1:25:19Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what magazine? Did you get that?

• 1:25:21Speaker 04

  Stern.

• 1:25:22Kurt Metzger?

  Stern!

• 1:25:23Duncan Trussell?

  I canceled my subscription.

• 1:25:24Kurt Metzger?

  Dieter Steiner!

• 1:25:25Duncan Trussell?

  So this, the three hobos.

• 1:25:27Kurt Metzger?

  But I mean that right there.

• 1:25:29Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up the three hobos?

• 1:25:30Kurt Metzger?

  Well, E. Howard Hunt recalled Doug.

• 1:25:32Speaker 04

  Cause they had really nice shoes, but they were dressed as hobos, you know.

• 1:25:36Kurt Metzger?

  That's how you tell.

• 1:25:37Speaker 04

  Unhoused people, we would call them now, but.

• 1:25:40Kurt Metzger?

  And that really cheers them up, I find, when I talk.

• 1:25:42Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, the three tramps. The three tramps. Can we show a picture?

• 1:25:47Kurt Metzger?

  Look at the three tramps in quotes like it's a thing. So if you know, look up what psychodrama is, they'll say it's a kind of therapy.

• 1:25:53Duncan Trussell?

  Can you enlarge that picture? Cause they don't look like tramps to me at all.

• 1:25:57Kurt Metzger?

  E. Howard Hunt is the guy that worked for the CIA that hung out with uh what's his name? Who used to be on Fox from Watergate. You know, the water, what's his name? Uh, he had, he always played Hitler speeches to inspire himself. G. Gordon Liddy. G. Gordon Liddy!

• 1:26:14Speaker 04

  Yep, yep. Well, and so, okay, so then, I'm growing up, I'm nine years old when my dad's doing this, and I'm like, Dad, just get a job at Safeway, because he was depressed, he started drinking more Scotch, he, you know, smoking, he'd like shake in the morning till he had his Scotch.

• 1:26:29Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god.

• 1:26:30Speaker 04

  And I'm like, Dad, like, oh my god, like, we're

• 1:26:33Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, leave that picture Tanner, put that picture back, sorry, go ahead. I'm just telling Tanner not to take this picture down because I want to show Duncan something. I'm sorry, I just wanted to keep the picture up. Go ahead.

• 1:26:45Speaker 04

  Um, well, anyway, so you're asking what it was like as a kid, so I'm going to, you know, elementary school and junior high school and high school in Bethesda, Maryland, and, um, um, you know, kids would call me Tommy, or they're, because there was articles in newspapers and, you know,

• 1:26:59Kurt Metzger?

  Did you answer them in Chinese? Did you clap back and manter?

• 1:27:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was like, yeah.

• 1:27:05Kurt Metzger?

  Well, shite him.

• 1:27:07Speaker 04

  Well, so then, right, in 1972, before we go to China, and I'm seven years old, my mom's, my mom can fully speak fluent Chinese, and I'm like, wait, I, I thought about this recently, I'm like, how the hell did she speak, it's a woman from New Zealand, learned Russian, got to Moscow, then she marries my dad, and my dad would get so drunk that he would tell me that my mom was a lesbian and a spy, and had two illegitimate children in New Zealand. And I'm a little kid going, Mom, what is, you know, illegitimate?

• 1:27:34Kurt Metzger?

  Your mom's a handler.

• 1:27:35Speaker 04

  And my, well, possibly, and

• 1:27:38Kurt Metzger?

  So wait.

• 1:27:39Speaker 04

  Is her name?

• 1:27:40Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa.

• 1:27:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, on the

• 1:27:41Kurt Metzger?

  Your mom was programmed too?

• 1:27:42Speaker 04

  And I would ask my mom, who became a floral designer, because my dad didn't make any money while we were in the seventies, while I was growing up, we're living in this nice house in Bethesda, Maryland, you know, but meanwhile, we have no money coming in, and he's getting more and more depressed, and the lawsuit's going on and on and on, nobody wants to be friends with us. And, you know, meanwhile, he's also getting himself into more trouble by finding these photos and publicizing, you know, getting them out to different, you know, to people he trusted. Listen, my dad was not perfect, he started, he, he would punch me and my mom, you know, and, and get mad at us.

• 1:28:12Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god, I thought you were gonna say a wall, I didn't think it was gonna go right to punch.

• 1:28:16Speaker 04

  No, he, you know, and I'd be like, Dad, and, because I was like, what the fuck is going on? You know, I'm like this kid.

• 1:28:21Kurt Metzger?

  How old are you?

• 1:28:23Speaker 04

  I was, well, it was from when I was five years old to when I died, when he, when he died when I was nineteen. And then.

• 1:28:29Kurt Metzger?

  Wow.

• 1:28:31Speaker 04

  And I dropped, we didn't have health insurance. He wouldn't, he didn't want to leave the house because we had the documents there and he was paranoid. You know.

• 1:28:38Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god.

• 1:28:39Speaker 04

  Paranoid for good, for a good reason, you know.

• 1:28:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:42Speaker 04

  He also became friends with um, uh, ex CIA guy, um, Victor Mar- Marquetti, who also wrote all these amazing books and spoke out against the CIA at that point. So, we were, you know, he was speaking out about all these secret, you know, CIA experiments and, um, and then, so, and then the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence comes, comes out, my dad testifies, he talks about the, you know, the, the, the hobo pictures, he talks about Cronkite, and there was a list of like, two hundred other big journalists and, you know, news agencies working with the CIA and FBI, to the Senate Committee and the Church Committee. Um, and then I think what happened was, you know, ABC News, CBS, all those heads there were, you know,

• 1:29:26Speaker 04

  they actually had a meeting right after he put that out and, um, with the CIA. And they had this, this meeting in New York at ABC and CBS, saying, and Bush was there, and was saying like, what are we gonna do with this Jaffe guy, like, shut him the fuck up? And so, you've got, he has no chance, right? Like, to.

• 1:29:45Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Not if you got Pappy Bush coming for you, no, you don't have a chance. The guy that had a, a, an actual device, according to Kathy O'Brien, that, he could make it look like he was a reptilian, but it, because one of the Nazis they brought over, people have primal fear of snakes and shit. And so he had a thing set up in the White House where it would be like a light, like a, you know, some hologram thing that just now they have, and it would make it look like he had shapeshifted into a reptilian.

• 1:30:15Duncan Trussell?

  Holy fuck, we need that for this show.

• 1:30:17Kurt Metzger?

  I know!

• 1:30:18Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 1:30:18Kurt Metzger?

  Well, okay, look at this picture too, of this cop.

• 1:30:20Speaker 04

  Friends of mine, like, later on were telling me, like, Deborah, you gotta watch The Americans, you know, it's based on true story about all these spies living in Chevy Chase in Bethesda, Maryland. And so I finally started watching it, and then they show this basement room they have, and I'm like, oh my god, that's the same shortwave radio we had in the kitchen.

• 1:30:39Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god.

• 1:30:40Speaker 04

  Push all the buttons on. And I'm just like, oh shit, oh god.

• 1:30:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:30:44Speaker 04

  What the fuck?

• 1:30:45Duncan Trussell?

  That's so crazy.

• 1:30:47Speaker 04

  And so then I'm like, wait a second, this was like 15 years ago, I saw that, or maybe 10 years ago. And then I'm like, okay, there is a lot more to this story than I think, you know, than I I know. I mean, like, and anyway, and so then, so then Quonkite went on the air after my dad accused him and and and actually came out during those those committees that 50 CIA had at least 50 American journalists paid. They were actually CIA agents who became journalists, not the other way around. Yeah. So

• 1:31:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, because you got to get your start.

• 1:31:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:22Kurt Metzger?

  You get your big start. It's astroturfing is all it is. And they've been doing it the whole time. Jane Fonda, not Jane Fonda, Gloria Steinem, the Playboy bunny slash feminist.

• 1:31:31Speaker 04

  I'm so disappointed. I'm so disappointed.

• 1:31:33Kurt Metzger?

  But it's not this was this came out before I was born that she worked for the CIA. She like, no, they said they like Kennedy. They're really cool.

• 1:31:40Speaker 04

  I didn't know that until recently.

• 1:31:41Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Yeah, they're but they're all, you know, I think Chris Kristofferson, just like in, I think it's Bryce, I'm forgetting her last name, Bryce Taylor's book, Chris Kristofferson is a handler. He's Air Force. All the military connections. Oh, Courtney Love's dad, who was the manager of of the Grateful Dead.

• 1:32:03Speaker 04

  Grateful Dead.

• 1:32:03Kurt Metzger?

  And helps hand out that method Altamont, by the way, he wrote in his memoirs, it dedicated the boys of Bohemian Grove. So that would be like

• 1:32:12Speaker 04

  Well, I have some firsthand time I spent with Courtney Love.

• 1:32:17Kurt Metzger?

  What? Yeah.

• 1:32:19Speaker 04

  I became friends with a well known Hollywood manager who said, hey, let's share a house since you go to LA so much to shoot. And I was living in New York. Why don't you share a house with me in LA? And I was like, okay. And then Deborah Harry moves in, which I'm like, what? Because I loved Deborah Harry at that point. Anyway, but then one day he's like, hey, guess who I was out with last night? And and I'm like, because he, you know, he'd go, he'd be invited to all these parties. And I went with some sometimes. But one time he sat down, he said, I was out with Prince Andrew. And then another time, David Copperfield. And then another time, because we were neighbors in New York City, we lived down the hall from each other.

• 1:32:54Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:32:54Speaker 04

  And I shot two of his clients for a Ferragamo campaign. And then, and then we became friendly. And then I'm sharing a house with him in LA. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then, and then he one day he sat down on my bed and he's like, Deborah, Deborah, because he doesn't drive and neither does she. I need you to drive us, Courtney, Courtney Love, to do a fitting at Rick, Rick Owens. Okay. This is my part of the story. And Rick Owens, I had photographed for a British magazine already and I spent like a day.

• 1:33:19Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, you're hitting every, put up Rick Owens. I'm sorry, just in case people don't know.

• 1:33:22Speaker 04

  I know, and like, it's crazy.

• 1:33:24Kurt Metzger?

  Sorry, Dan.

• 1:33:25Speaker 04

  When I was in the Owen studio in Hollywood, because I would go to the Le Deux Cafe and across.

• 1:33:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, this guy, the one that's married to that chick that looks like, um, the, I don't even know what to compare it to in Willow.

• 1:33:36Speaker 04

  Like, I have so many run-ins with all of these people, like, not only my dad, but now me, like, it's like, what?

• 1:33:43Duncan Trussell?

  That is so wild.

• 1:33:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, how about this with a child and his asshole is a chair?

• 1:33:49Speaker 04

  So I have a shoot I did with him that didn't get published. One picture got published in a British magazine. And then, um, and then I pulled up, got the next, because, uh, last year, Rick Owens, or the year before, Rick Owens wanted to get the pictures. He, uh, he was gonna put them in a book, because he's, anyway, but, but like, wh- when I was there.

• 1:34:07Kurt Metzger?

  There's Simon Rex again. Simon Rex, you ever?

• 1:34:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I photographed Simon Rex too.

• 1:34:12Kurt Metzger?

  Simon Rex is around all these people. I wonder what he's seen that, that, uh, eternally handsome young man.

• 1:34:17Speaker 04

  Porn actor, right? Like, he was doing gay porn.

• 1:34:21Kurt Metzger?

  Was he? I didn't know that.

• 1:34:21Speaker 04

  On MTV, yes.

• 1:34:23Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, well, I can see that.

• 1:34:25Speaker 04

  I photographed him when he was going out with that actress for Glamour or Cosmo or something, but, um.

• 1:34:29Kurt Metzger?

  Rex being king, Duncan.

• 1:34:31Speaker 04

  So then, so then I'm with Courtney Love, and Courtney Love, I remember this person saying that he came back when we were sharing a house. Oh, I was just in San Francisco, Courtney Love, and I went to all these, like, super dark, you know, BDSM clubs in, uh, L- in New York, I mean, sorry, San Francisco. And, and then, and then I spent the day with her, and she thought I was his assistant, so she's bossing me around. She's telling me I need to hire, we went to Frank, Foucault, uh, Musso and Franks for lunch.

• 1:34:58Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, nice.

• 1:34:58Speaker 04

  And she's like, Deborah, you're a photographer? You need to hire lesbians. Only lesbians are good workers. I was like, okay, whatever, you know, and then.

• 1:35:04Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:35:05Speaker 04

  I grew up in DC, so my sister worked. I have no idea. I don't know, but she was

• 1:35:10Kurt Metzger?

  They're like gnomes, Duncan.

• 1:35:12Speaker 04

  I saw all these like crazy. She was definitely like had some bipolar schizophrenia disorder.

• 1:35:17Kurt Metzger?

  She probably has multiple personalities because

• 1:35:19Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 1:35:20Kurt Metzger?

  We all looked at her when Kurt Cobain died, but did we should have been looking at Dave Grohl.

• 1:35:25Speaker 04

  She was shipped off to New Zealand as a kid too for high school.

• 1:35:28Kurt Metzger?

  No kidding.

• 1:35:29Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:35:29Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:35:30Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:35:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, so that was interesting, which I, well, and then my sister knew, knew, um,

• 1:35:36Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:35:36Speaker 04

  What's his name? Um, the other guy from, because my sister in DC, the punk scene was like, um, she was in, I was not in that scene, but, um, she got to know, um, Dave Grohl and that whole thing. And he, he's also from, you know, military or no, no, his speechwriter, something.

• 1:35:53Kurt Metzger?

  His dad was Reagan's speechwriter, but it's still some military thing. They all, they've been, you know, okay. So the memoir, Courtney Love was like a prostitute at 15 or something around bands because of her dad managing the Grateful Dead. And also being a CIA guy. Tommy Lee Jones's cousin

• 1:36:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:11Kurt Metzger?

  is the one that the CIA trainer, yeah.

• 1:36:14Speaker 04

  Tommy Lee Jones played in a movie by HBO called Nosenko about Yuri Nosenko. He didn't play in Nosenko, but he played like a CIA agent or yeah.

• 1:36:24Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, he's a Tom Hanks without the jovial spirit.

• 1:36:27Duncan Trussell?

  Let me clarify something here. This manager, is this like the famous manager who was telling them to only eat meat? The guy Bear, like his nickname was Bear? Is it that dude?

• 1:36:37Kurt Metzger?

  Will you look that up? Oh.

• 1:36:38Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:36:39Speaker 04

  No, not that I know of. No.

• 1:36:40Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:36:41Kurt Metzger?

  Eat this meat, Bear would say.

• 1:36:42Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up the Grateful Dead's manager real quick?

• 1:36:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:44Duncan Trussell?

  I'm curious who this was.

• 1:36:45Kurt Metzger?

  The boys about, yeah.

• 1:36:48Speaker 04

  You're asking about something else.

• 1:36:48Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up the Grateful Dead's manager. I always thought this was this, this, the dance, like his nickname was Bear. Can you pull that up? Grateful Dead's manager, Bear? I could be totally wrong about this.

• 1:36:58Kurt Metzger?

  Courtney Love's dad was probably is who it is.

• 1:37:00Duncan Trussell?

  I have a man. Scully. Rock Scully and Sam Cutler.

• 1:37:05Duncan Trussell?

  And then put

• 1:37:06Kurt Metzger?

  Courtney Love, yeah, make sure Courtney Love's dad.

• 1:37:08Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, different, uh, oh, no, there, that was Owly Stanley. I got, that makes way more sense. Owly Stanley was this like famous LSD chemist. I got my

• 1:37:17Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, wait, somebody's just telling me trash on him and I don't remember who.

• 1:37:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, people just recently started talking shit about him for some reason.

• 1:37:24Kurt Metzger?

  Well, because all those acid people are directly from the CIA. CIA.

• 1:37:28Duncan Trussell?

  One of the things I love about the CIA, I mean, how can you hate them all the way when they were making such great LSD?

• 1:37:34Kurt Metzger?

  Now, like, why would Ken Kesey be driving around in a bus giving out free LSD? The way they gave out Paxil samples when SSRIs came?

• 1:37:44Duncan Trussell?

  They, what the fuck? Did they really?

• 1:37:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, the Kool-Aid Acid Test.

• 1:37:47Duncan Trussell?

  No, I know the Kool-Aid Acid Test. I didn't know about that.

• 1:37:49Kurt Metzger?

  The, the lie that he stole the LSD and went on a merry pranking is such a crock of shit.

• 1:37:57Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:37:57Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, we got distracted here. What? I, I have to, my, I thought.

• 1:38:01Kurt Metzger?

  Oh shit, it's 20, oh god damn.

• 1:38:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you gotta go.

• 1:38:05Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I can still go a little bit.

• 1:38:07Speaker 04

  We can do another part.

• 1:38:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I'll have to, we'll have to do another part to it.

• 1:38:09Duncan Trussell?

  I'm Kurt Handler.

• 1:38:11Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I, I think that, uh,

• 1:38:16Kurt Metzger?

  I, listen, don't wear your ICE officer uniform to the show. I told you, it's really weird.

• 1:38:22Kurt Metzger?

  Did you ever, did you ever accidentally join ICE by mistake?

• 1:38:25Duncan Trussell?

  Who hasn't? I thought I was working at a mall.

• 1:38:29Kurt Metzger?

  He just sat and applied for something. He got approved. What can you do?

• 1:38:32Duncan Trussell?

  I needed a job.

• 1:38:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Hey, I say, I'm a cop now.

• 1:38:39Speaker 04

  Well, we, growing up, we always drove either undercover cop cars my dad had or

• 1:38:43Kurt Metzger?

  Like the Blues Brothers?

• 1:38:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, we did, we had one where like you could do a J turn if you like, yeah, my dad made me do a defensive driving class before I got a driver's license and I had to go in with a bunch of police officers to a racetrack in Virginia. Where like Paul Newman was at and I'm like, dad, you know, but anyway.

• 1:39:01Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, and but he was only, okay, because you know, the punching story is not great, but you know, I've heard har- way worse stories such as Courtney Love's CIA dad. Uh, you know, it sounds a good deal even worse than being punched, believe it or not. Do you think like, did you think you were, cause you're in Gate, right? Do you think that you, I was in it and I don't remember a goddamn thing about it.

• 1:39:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't remember a lot either. I do remember we made these gigantic masks, which is weird, for a ball that was gonna happen in Washington DC.

• 1:39:32Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, that's terrific.

• 1:39:32Speaker 04

  And they were made out of like chicken wire and papier-mache.

• 1:39:35Kurt Metzger?

  Are you joking? That's like, I wasn't prepared for you to say that.

• 1:39:38Duncan Trussell?

  So messed up.

• 1:39:39Speaker 04

  You know, I didn't even think of that. Oh my god, it's like eyes wide shut. Fucking, oh my god.

• 1:39:43Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, but how, okay.

• 1:39:45Speaker 04

  I was in fifth and sixth grade.

• 1:39:47Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god!

• 1:39:48Speaker 04

  Woody Wood's High School. Uh, Woody Wood's Elementary School.

• 1:39:52Duncan Trussell?

  You're going to a ball!

• 1:39:55Kurt Metzger?

  Well, why, okay.

• 1:39:56Speaker 04

  I didn't even say.

• 1:39:57Kurt Metzger?

  We ran out of time.

• 1:39:58Duncan Trussell?

  Gotta be good chicken wire masks.

• 1:40:01Kurt Metzger?

  But alright, De- Deborah, thank you very much for calling in. That was a really great story.

• 1:40:05Duncan Trussell?

  Please come back on the show. Please come back on the show. Thank you so, okay.

• 1:40:09Speaker 04

  And if you guys know anybody who could help me put all this together, cuz I'm like.

• 1:40:13Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you found the mystery boys.

• 1:40:15Speaker 04

  Trauma, ADHD, dyslexia crap, but.

• 1:40:17Kurt Metzger?

  That's exactly the problem we have, and that's why we solve mysteries professionally now.

• 1:40:21Duncan Trussell?

  That's right.

• 1:40:21Speaker 04

  Or maybe I'll just, I'll be a mystery girl. Okay.

• 1:40:23Kurt Metzger?

  We found, yeah.

• 1:40:25Duncan Trussell?

  Official, we anoint you the first official mystery girl.

• 1:40:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we didn't even think it was possible scientifically, but now we know it is.

• 1:40:33Duncan Trussell?

  Of course it's possible.

• 1:40:34Speaker 04

  And there's so much more, like Epstein stuff and more stuff about my dad and everything, so I'd love to tell you more stuff, but.

• 1:40:40Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, thanks man.

• 1:40:41Speaker 04

  Thank you for what you do. Thank you for your service.

• 1:40:44Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 1:40:47Kurt Metzger?

  It's about time someone thanked us for our service. Oh, oh look Duncan, the sunstone popping out of this.

• 1:40:54Duncan Trussell?

  The sunstone's heating up. Thank you. We gotta do this again. Thank you.

• 1:40:58Speaker 04

  Okay, bye guys. Bye Duncan.

• 1:41:00Duncan Trussell?

  God bless you.

• 1:41:01Kurt Metzger?

  Bye. Oh my god, look at it. The sunstone popped out. Look at it Tanner. I thought you were gonna have to use your slender boyish fingers. You're a Link from Legend of Zelda like hands.

• 1:41:12Duncan Trussell?

  Can I hold it?

• 1:41:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, oh yeah, you have gloves on.

• 1:41:15Duncan Trussell?

  I'm safe. Holy shit.

• 1:41:17Kurt Metzger?

  Duncan, I mean, uh, Tanner, do you wanna touch your sunstone, boy?

• 1:41:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:24Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, come on over.

• 1:41:25Speaker 04

  Should I hang up?

• 1:41:25Kurt Metzger?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:41:31Speaker 04

  Sorry!

• 1:41:34Duncan Trussell?

  You weren't supposed to hear that.

• 1:41:39Kurt Metzger?

  I said come touch a sunstone, boy. That is never gonna do it. Should I hang up? Oh, yeah. Unless you want more memories.

• 1:41:48Duncan Trussell?

  Get in here, Tanner. Now, take this sunstone.

• 1:41:52Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God. Now, listen. I know when you're out with your little puppet friends and you're gonna have, you think it's fun to make a homunculus, but I want you to think real careful about who you use your seed, what cow you spread it with.

• 1:42:07Kurt Metzger?

  Pokemon! Here, wait. No, give me that back. You could touch it.

• 1:42:10Duncan Trussell?

  Give him back a sunstone, boy!

• 1:42:12Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, don't. I don't like you got a delinquent haircut.

• 1:42:14Duncan Trussell?

  Look at him running off with your sunstone.

• 1:42:16Kurt Metzger?

  He looks, if I was playing a hearty round of Pokemon, you would look like one of the bad guy trainers. He looks like a bad guy Pokemon trainer, and I'm sorry to say that. You, I'd like you to look more like this cop who's like the, the original corrupt cop of the fifty. Look at this guy. So he's got like the fat, he's got, his chin has a pot belly.

• 1:42:36Duncan Trussell?

  By the way, those are beautiful obos. Like, those are like such.

• 1:42:40Kurt Metzger?

  Those are the three ruffians.

• 1:42:42Duncan Trussell?

  The one in the back's pretty fucked up. He looks like he's got a bag of ham.

• 1:42:45Kurt Metzger?

  So, wait, just look up the term psychodrama so I can explain this to you real quick. Look up psychodrama. So I didn't know what it was, and I had Michael L. Hoffman who wrote, I need that book back so I can finish it. Michael Hoffman's book.

• 1:42:55Duncan Trussell?

  I'll bring it on the next episode.

• 1:42:56Kurt Metzger?

  It's an experimental form of psycho.

• 1:42:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, totally. This shit blows people's minds.

• 1:43:00Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so it's, it's also not a therapy. It's a, a method of mass mind control, and so.

• 1:43:06Duncan Trussell?

  Family dynamics, that's one of the.

• 1:43:08Kurt Metzger?

  So why are there thirty threes and why is there always this and this and a big traumatic event? You know how a lot of times the violent event that everybody hears about, the, the real story wasn't what they said it was. You don't find out till later. But they always make sure to have these things that are psychological archetype triggers.

• 1:43:26Kurt Metzger?

  So at the ice, when you, you know, and I know you, it wasn't you, but you know, in ice, when they, they executed, uh, Pretty and Good on Thirty Third Street.

• 1:43:35Duncan Trussell?

  Pretty.

• 1:43:37Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, a guy named Good or a chick named Good and a guy named Pretty.

• 1:43:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:41Kurt Metzger?

  And it's like the end of Pretty Good. That's psychodrama. That's again, your subconscious. And that's, that's the program. And meanwhile, we didn't mass deport any illegals. Trump made them legal. He totally, if you're into deporting illegals, he fucked you on that, stupid. And, uh, yeah, we, that's, uh, her dad, that's a pioneer of that happening him personally. Cause we talked to Daryl James, uh, secret space force veteran.

• 1:44:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 1:44:07Kurt Metzger?

  And, and, and you hear like they were already doing this shit to her dad, an adult. What, what they could have been doing is to, uh, soldiers underground, make what, they could put a whole reality in your head that feels as real as reality. And therefore it is, I don't know what, if it felt real to you, what, how are you gonna know?

• 1:44:23Duncan Trussell?

  Who are you to judge?

• 1:44:25Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you've got, you do look like the judge of all time in reality right now.

• 1:44:29Duncan Trussell?

  I'm just a man.

• 1:44:30Kurt Metzger?

  You, you do look like the ferry man to a degree.

• 1:44:32Duncan Trussell?

  I'm a simple man, just a simple man, numbers, these numbers entails, I love to listen to him, but come on.

• 1:44:39Kurt Metzger?

  I brought you a glove back ferry man, that means you must take me back to the shores.

• 1:44:43Duncan Trussell?

  We gotta, guys, we gotta focus on what really matters is the 4th of July and there's a heat warning everywhere, the planet's heating up.

• 1:44:51Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:51Duncan Trussell?

  Why, that's what.

• 1:44:52Kurt Metzger?

  Why? Cause of so much gay fucking.

• 1:44:54Duncan Trussell?

  And, and masturbating, beach masturbating.

• 1:44:56Kurt Metzger?

  Global friction, I call it.

• 1:44:58Duncan Trussell?

  And so let's focus on.

• 1:44:59Kurt Metzger?

  Use some lube, but the straight Hormuz is blocked up.

• 1:45:02Duncan Trussell?

  Real quick, just.

• 1:45:03Kurt Metzger?

  Can't get lube no more.

• 1:45:04Duncan Trussell?

  We talked about doing this, guys, it's heating up. If there's a few things you could do in the heat, drink water, make sure to drink lots of water. And what's another tip for folks that might?

• 1:45:15Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what is goo goo gooning? I don't even know what that is.

• 1:45:18Duncan Trussell?

  We don't have time for goo goo gooning.

• 1:45:20Kurt Metzger?

  What is it? Oh, is that what you were saying? People goon so hard they, their age reversed back, so you just find an infant laying in front of them?

• 1:45:28Duncan Trussell?

  I think that should be an entire episode, but essentially it's the premise that you can masturbate yourself back into being a baby. Like some people, basically they've been finding babies sitting in like stinky computer chairs in front of like.

• 1:45:42Kurt Metzger?

  Surrounded by hot cheetos.

• 1:45:44Duncan Trussell?

  Surrounded by cheetos and they think that, that masturbating too much will actually reverse age you all the way back to being a baby. And a lot of these babies obviously have passed away, cause you know, they're just babies.

• 1:45:55Kurt Metzger?

  But do you understand that, like, all the rocket science that we have is from somebody gooning in the desert, right?

• 1:46:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's for sure, all.

• 1:46:02Kurt Metzger?

  Like, you can't remove that part of it, that's. Vital rock. I don't know, understand why. And I asked Eric Weinstein why in your car. Did he have any answer?

• 1:46:10Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, not a satisfactory.

• 1:46:12Kurt Metzger?

  I think he wanted to stop talking to me about it.

• 1:46:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:14Kurt Metzger?

  This is distinct impression I got.

• 1:46:16Duncan Trussell?

  The point is like, I think it clears your head.

• 1:46:18Kurt Metzger?

  That's a ritual.

• 1:46:19Duncan Trussell?

  If you're working with rocket fuel, let's give it this ritual bullshit. You're working with rocket fuel. It clears your head. You're shooting rockets up into space. You need to come first.

• 1:46:28Kurt Metzger?

  No, you don't come. You don't. That's the thing you goon. And you hold your vital energy in until it raises up like, uh, as, uh, Jim Carrey said, uh, secretion, Jesus.

• 1:46:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:39Kurt Metzger?

  These people are crazy. Anyway, so think of what they did with all these incel dudes that are not just gonna go try to go meet a girl. They're gonna sit inside doing sexual rituals.

• 1:46:49Duncan Trussell?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:46:49Kurt Metzger?

  All over a computer together, all at once to fucking like animated furry creatures and shit.

• 1:46:57Duncan Trussell?

  And this.

• 1:46:58Kurt Metzger?

  Do you see their fucking magical ritual happening?

• 1:47:00Duncan Trussell?

  Here's.

• 1:47:00Kurt Metzger?

  That's why the dog man sightings are up. Cause you kids goon too much to furry shit.

• 1:47:05Duncan Trussell?

  And if you are a gooner, we don't judge you, but there's some things you should look out for.

• 1:47:09Kurt Metzger?

  You want dog man to stop? You gotta stop.

• 1:47:11Duncan Trussell?

  If your hands as you're gooning get softer, smaller, smoother, you could be turning into a baby. And this is one of the many warning signs. If you have cravings for milk.

• 1:47:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, and guess what dog man eat? Guess what a dog man likes to eat the most?

• 1:47:25Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking jerky?

• 1:47:26Kurt Metzger?

  A freshly age regressed baby after a fifth, but probably seventh density gooning.

• 1:47:33Duncan Trussell?

  This is some kind of toxoplasmosis style symbiosis between dog men and gooners.

• 1:47:38Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I'm saying the since gooning, dog man sightings have gone up. You have formed the central processing and possibly the RAM for this dog man, uh, thing to run on.

• 1:47:50Duncan Trussell?

  That's right.

• 1:47:51Kurt Metzger?

  With your gooning, you're forming the base, you're powering it like the matrix that creates the dog man. Is these weirdos getting sissy hip node and furry porned up? Cause they're on SSRI, so they can only be aroused by cartoon colors now. All gooning at once.

• 1:48:08Duncan Trussell?

  This is what caused.

• 1:48:08Kurt Metzger?

  Do you understand what you've done?

• 1:48:09Duncan Trussell?

  This is what caused the flurry of earthquakes that we witnessed.

• 1:48:12Kurt Metzger?

  And that's why your friend Buster stays in that box another couple of episodes.

• 1:48:16Duncan Trussell?

  And he's not coming out.

• 1:48:19Kurt Metzger?

  Do you understand, Tanner? That's why Buster, oh, where's Buster? I'm sure people are gonna be saying.

• 1:48:22Duncan Trussell?

  Buster's sleeping.

• 1:48:24Kurt Metzger?

  Buster's sleeping. I mean, honestly. He's probably gooning in there now that I think about it. That's really, we should have kept him where he could keep our eyes on his hands.

• 1:48:31Duncan Trussell?

  I have heard a weird rustling knocking coming from in there.

• 1:48:35Kurt Metzger?

  I think he has his phone, so.

• 1:48:36Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, god damn it. Who left his phone in there?

• 1:48:39Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. It's my, you know what? It's my fault because I paid for the phone. I mean, I could have cut him off. If I was serious about this, goonie.

• 1:48:45Duncan Trussell?

  You could do parental control.

• 1:48:46Kurt Metzger?

  We're probably gonna be attacked by a dogman any minute in this studio.

• 1:48:51Duncan Trussell?

  Well, thank you for joining us again for another mystery, boys. We solved a lot of mysteries.

• 1:48:56Kurt Metzger?

  We also learned some new mysteries that we didn't get to the bottom of.

• 1:48:59Duncan Trussell?

  And we made a few.

• 1:49:00Kurt Metzger?

  There's more money in making it.

• 1:49:01Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that. Look what's on the screen.

• 1:49:04Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, please pull him out. Are you channeling Tanner? Are you using a Ouija board to communicate with this, uh?

• 1:49:10Duncan Trussell?

  I don't even think that's Tanner. I think that could be fucking Buster.

• 1:49:14Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you think?

• 1:49:14Duncan Trussell?

  Hacking their system.

• 1:49:15Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, well, let's see.

• 1:49:16Duncan Trussell?

  Telling us to pull him out. Don't pull him out.

• 1:49:18Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, hold on.

• 1:49:21Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on. This is like a dangerous criminal.

• 1:49:24Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, be careful, you motherfucker!

• 1:49:26Kurt Metzger?

  Sorry.

• 1:49:27Duncan Trussell?

  Oh! Wait, what do you have on his fucking hand? God damn it, you guys. Are you serious?

• 1:49:32Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, he gooned his hand off.

• 1:49:33Duncan Trussell?

  No, he didn't goon his fucking hand off.

• 1:49:35Kurt Metzger?

  You saw that?

• 1:49:35Duncan Trussell?

  You're fucking busted.

• 1:49:36Kurt Metzger?

  He was gooning too much in his head. Look at that. Oh, that's not a hand?

• 1:49:42Duncan Trussell?

  Buster, come on.

• 1:49:44Kurt Metzger?

  Just the inside of a flashlight.

• 1:49:44Duncan Trussell?

  You guys, are you seriously throwing that in the drawer? Oh, it stinks. It's sticky. What the fuck, Buster? What's the big deal? I'm just trying to relax.

• 1:49:55Duncan Trussell?

  Who doesn't love to goon?

• 1:49:57Kurt Metzger?

  Buster.

• 1:49:58Duncan Trussell?

  You guys are squares. What's the big deal?

• 1:50:01Kurt Metzger?

  No, Buster, I need you to answer me very honestly.

• 1:50:03Duncan Trussell?

  Sure, I'll tell you anything.

• 1:50:07Duncan Trussell?

  Go ahead.

• 1:50:09Kurt Metzger?

  Were you, uh, projecting your consciousness throughout time and space with that gooning?

• 1:50:12Duncan Trussell?

  No, I was just coming. I was just gooning.

• 1:50:16Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, good.

• 1:50:16Duncan Trussell?

  I was just, I was just gooning, man. Everybody listen up out there. All you gooners. I'm gonna be gooning.

• 1:50:23Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on.

• 1:50:23Duncan Trussell?

  And in the midnight on July 3rd.

• 1:50:27Kurt Metzger?

  Will you read this?

• 1:50:27Duncan Trussell?

  Just as July 4th comes in.

• 1:50:30Kurt Metzger?

  You want Buster to read this, or would you like to read this?

• 1:50:32Duncan Trussell?

  Sure. No, I don't want to read that. I'm disgusted by you, Buster.

• 1:50:36Kurt Metzger?

  Did you ask the question of the AI overview on ChatGPT? Yes, astronauts likely engage in sexual activity and masturbation in space.

• 1:50:44Duncan Trussell?

  They're gooning.

• 1:50:46Kurt Metzger?

  However, zero gravity environments present logistical challenges such as avoiding floating fluids and preventing separation, meaning standard practices. What does that mean? Preventing separation?

• 1:51:00Duncan Trussell?

  It means you open your mouth and let that jizz come on in.

• 1:51:04Duncan Trussell?

  Best way to clean up jizz in zero G is just to eat it. That's gooning.

• 1:51:11Kurt Metzger?

  He, oh my God, Moon, Moon Goon, what is that?

• 1:51:15Duncan Trussell?

  That's my, you, Moon Goon, go to MoonGoon.org, use Offercall Mystery Boys to get 10% off proprietary hand harvested dog semen.

• 1:51:28Kurt Metzger?

  Exclusive interview with Neil deGrasse Tyson, if I'm not mistaken.

• 1:51:31Duncan Trussell?

  That's right. Go to Moon Goon.

• 1:51:33Kurt Metzger?

  Dot com to, uh, for Buster's exclusive interview with Neil deGrasse Tyson.

• 1:51:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, he's a great dude. We goon together.

• 1:51:42Kurt Metzger?

  With Neil?

• 1:51:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. What's the big deal? Y'all are puritanical fucking scant sex negative squares. I love jerking off with my pals.

• 1:51:53Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, what?

• 1:51:54Duncan Trussell?

  I'll jerk off and watch the World Cup with Neil deGrasse Tyson.

• 1:51:59Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, I guess, boy, who, I always wondered, like, how could people watch soccer? But I guess that's the only way I could think of.

• 1:52:04Duncan Trussell?

  It's a great way. You just enjoy, you just goon, man. This is, this is a, this is a goon summer.

• 1:52:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:12Duncan Trussell?

  Everybody's gooning. Don't listen to them, y'all.

• 1:52:15Kurt Metzger?

  It's a brat summer, as they say, or, uh.

• 1:52:17Duncan Trussell?

  It's a goon summer, baby. And it's the last summer.

• 1:52:22Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:22Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:52:24Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean the last summer?

• 1:52:25Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 1:52:27Duncan Trussell?

  Why are you being all quiet now? You guys heard that, right?

• 1:52:32Duncan Trussell?

  He said the last summer.

• 1:52:34Kurt Metzger?

  Was that, is that a screenplay?

• 1:52:37Duncan Trussell?

  Buster.

• 1:52:38Kurt Metzger?

  Are you coming?

• 1:52:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, sorry, I was gooning.

• 1:52:42Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:52:43Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck? How do you goon without?

• 1:52:44Kurt Metzger?

  I think it was a mistake. It was an absolute mistake.

• 1:52:48Duncan Trussell?

  Just put him back in there. Oh, fuck it. Hey, put the... Oh, yeah, you put the pussy in here. Thank you.

• 1:52:53Kurt Metzger?

  Didn't you give it... Well, he's not gonna learn now. All right, well, that's another mystery. Uh, I wish we hadn't uncovered that mystery.

• 1:53:01Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you for tuning into the mystery, boys. This is the most important podcast on Earth right now. Tell your friends about it. Don't be afraid and also refrain from gooning this July.

• 1:53:12Kurt Metzger?

  Unless you want to be attacked by a Dogman.

• 1:53:14Duncan Trussell?

  Or you want there to be earthquakes? Or you want the French people to burn?

• 1:53:17Kurt Metzger?

  Hopefully, we'll be back.

• 1:53:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I don't know after this one. I don't know.

• 1:53:21Kurt Metzger?

  All right, we leave him in there. We leave a sign out. Let the Dogman handle it.

• 1:53:26Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck? Lock the drawer. I would advise locking. Does that...

• 1:53:29Kurt Metzger?

  You know, the Dogman doesn't devour you like you'd think.

• 1:53:32Duncan Trussell?

  What does he do?

• 1:53:32Kurt Metzger?

  He locks eyes with you and then he starts licking his own balls.

• 1:53:37Kurt Metzger?

  And he stops to make sure...

• 1:53:39Duncan Trussell?

  Terrifying.

• 1:53:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, you're frozen in fear. And he just sits down, licks his own balls, and he looks up to make sure you're making eye contact. And you know you better keep watching.

• 1:53:48Duncan Trussell?

  Why? Why do you... Why do you have to keep watching?

• 1:53:50Kurt Metzger?

  It's like how that gnome communicated to you without... Without words?

• 1:53:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 1:53:54Kurt Metzger?

  He's just like...

• 1:53:57Kurt Metzger?

  I'll let you live, but you just...

• 1:53:59Duncan Trussell?

  You gotta watch.

• 1:54:00Kurt Metzger?

  You watch what I do.

• 1:54:01Duncan Trussell?

  You move.

• 1:54:02Kurt Metzger?

  You see why I'm...

• 1:54:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I get it.

• 1:54:04Kurt Metzger?

  Look, that is... I just had a flood of memories that we don't have time to get into. But you see that look? That's the look of the Dogman. And that's what that...

• 1:54:15Duncan Trussell?

  It's horrible. It's horrible.

• 1:54:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, well, I want to tell you something. Most of the country has this memory burned in their brain at this moment. Most of the Midwest. Look up Dogman sightings.

• 1:54:27Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, you just activated a lot of sleeper agents with that image.

• 1:54:31Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Okay.

• 1:54:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, stop doing it. Oh my God. Look, Michigan. Cause you know where Michigan is a source of a lot of furry porn and gooning. That's a fact. If you look up porn searches.

• 1:54:47Kurt Metzger?

  Have you looked them up?

• 1:54:49Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:54:50Kurt Metzger?

  Porn searches from Pornhub over every year.

• 1:54:53Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, of course.

• 1:54:54Kurt Metzger?

  I'm just telling you, furry porn hops up a lot. Goth.

• 1:54:59Kurt Metzger?

  You know.

• 1:54:59Duncan Trussell?

  Where is that? They should do a weather map of porn searches. Let's see, a 2025 year review.

• 1:55:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, let's take a look.

• 1:55:05Duncan Trussell?

  See what we're doing here.

• 1:55:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, let's get some insights.

• 1:55:10Duncan Trussell?

  Notice to law enforcement. Uh, yeah, you can't do this shit in Texas. You gotta get a, you know, there's no way to look at porn in Texas at all. It's impossible. Absolutely impossible. Nah, doesn't work.

• 1:55:22Kurt Metzger?

  Honestly, I thought that too, but Buster told me exactly what to do.

• 1:55:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you dumb shit. You just get a VPN.

• 1:55:27Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, he's right about that.

• 1:55:29Duncan Trussell?

  Buster, shut the fuck up.

• 1:55:32Kurt Metzger?

  VPN, sure you live in pornography China here in Texas.

• 1:55:38Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, fuck, I gotta get out of here.

• 1:55:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:55:40Duncan Trussell?

  God bless you. Stay alive.

• 1:55:43Kurt Metzger?

  Look, this is only a three claw podcast because I didn't finish it. It's not even three claws. I'm sorry.

• 1:55:50Kurt Metzger?

  I know people like that, but.

• 1:55:53Duncan Trussell?

  We'll get to, we'll get to more.

• 1:55:55Kurt Metzger?

  These ones are still good.

• 1:55:57Duncan Trussell?

  What is that? It's a three noon.

• 1:55:59Kurt Metzger?

  And this one, or something I gotta finish.

• 1:56:00Duncan Trussell?

  Doing high noon.

• 1:56:02Kurt Metzger?

  High noon? Yeah, alright.

• 1:56:03Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a claw.

• 1:56:04Kurt Metzger?

  We'll just see who gives us a sponsorship first and then we'll go with that one.

• 1:56:10Kurt Metzger?

  Brought to you by gnome foreskin, gnome skins.

• 1:56:14Duncan Trussell?

  Gnome skins.

• 1:56:15Kurt Metzger?

  Just give a look at that product when we go to gnome skin.

• 1:56:19Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, we're out of here. Bye.