#593 - Kevin Gates

Kevin Gates is a rapper, producer and songwriter originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. His latest album “I’m Him 2” is streaming now everywhere, and his new mixtape “Luca Brasi 4” is coming soon. Kevin joins Theo to talk about their shared roots in Louisiana, his mentality around constantly evolving as a human, and his favorite recipes from prison. Kevin Gates: https://www.instagram.com/iamkevingates ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Valor Recovery: Valor Recovery: To learn more about Valor Recovery please visit them at https://valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 0:41Theo Von?

  I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. We're getting into the final shows for the Return of the Rat Tour. Gosh, this rat is almost fully returned.

• 1:21Theo Von?

  Um, July 9th will be in Philadelphia, Rochester, uh, New York on July 10th. Then we're in Detroit after that. Uh, moving on, we're in Los Angeles, Anaheim, uh, at the Honda Center and Oceanside, California. Uh, you can get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. And, uh, just thank you so much, uh, for your support. Today's guest is a musician out of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, baby out the boot. He crosses many genres like rap, R&B, soul. He does it all. This dog, he a 101. He a 101. He's got a new album on the way, Luca Brasi 4.

• 2:06Theo Von?

  And he's heading out on a huge tour this October. I'm grateful to sit down with my Louisiana amigo, Mr. Kevin Gates.

• 2:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's tough, man.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got this from, uh, I collect these kinda hats. I bought two of them this time because

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I put dents on them.

• 2:44Theo Von?

  Really?

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Every time I travel.

• 2:46Theo Von?

  What, just traveling, setting it somewhere?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they get smushed every time.

• 2:50Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, a hat is kinda hard to take care of. That's the only thing I don't love about a hat. Like, if I'm on a plane, I'll put it, and then I'll take a nap, it'll fall off the seat or something.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Every time.

• 2:59Theo Von?

  Um, yeah, you look sharp, man.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 3:03Theo Von?

  Recently, I started feeling in my own life, man, I wish that I dressed up a little bit more.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  It's like how you do anything is how you do everything. So I'm like, I prepare to, for something great to happen. Every time I leave the house, I prepare for something great to happen. Like, even when I go to the gym, I prepare for something great to happen.

• 3:25Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's an energy. I think I just started thinking that, like, yeah, I wanna, I wanna just, because then I wanna be excited about how I even look, you know? Like, I never-

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I mean, I only got, well, I got multiple suits, but I only got like four color that I wear. I got a gray suit, got like three or four of them, got like three or four black suits, got like three or four navy suits, and I got like three or four, they like different shades, so I say like a tan and a darker tan.

• 3:58Theo Von?

  You like them?

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I just love suits. I love them, they look fly.

• 4:03Theo Von?

  You've always been pretty stylish. Actually, I remember, you and I went to a Super Bowl together. I don't know if you remember it or not.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was when I had the turtleneck on with the slacks on.

• 4:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's when I realized, I was like, oh, Kevin's doing something different, cuz you hear rumors about Kevin. You hear people like, ah, Kevin, you know, Kevin out there.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  I'm like, Bigfoot.

• 4:19Theo Von?

  Yeah, he's staring at the moon, Kevin out there, he, you know, he, he hiding in the tree branches and stuff. You hear a lot of rumors like that, you know?

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Probably shooting my bow and arrow.

• 4:27Theo Von?

  Yeah. He's out there, he babysitting bats or something.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Oh, excuse me, shout out to Mike at, uh, at Cabela's.

• 4:34Theo Von?

  He's your guy?

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, he the one who, um, he, he dialed my bow and arrow in for me. Like dialed it in, like set the sights on it for me.

• 4:42Theo Von?

  I haven't used one. But yeah, you hear everything about that Kevin Gates, he's out there, he breastfeeding pelicans and stuff like that. You hear a lot of the mystery, right? The lore. And I love the lore, cause it makes things really, it's like advertising without you really doing anything in a way, except being yourself. But I remember we were on a, like a limo bus, they were taking us to the Super Bowl, everybody's on their phones or something like that. Kevin just sitting there, this, look, you look like the happiest guy in the thing.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  It's, um, it's this thing I do called breath work. And I think I said it one time in another interview, but like I'm super into like Navy SEALs and shit. I like watch. Don't, don't, don't think I'm weird, but I am.

• 5:28Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  I just sit there and watch like videos of like the training that they do and I watch people take the Navy SEAL test and fail and then try to come back and do it. And I just watch that shit and I be watching like David Goggins and, and shit like that. And it's like, you know, the first thing they teach them how to do is breathe. So that's why I be doing the box breathing and it really help with anxiety.

• 5:51Theo Von?

  Explain it to me.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  You, you inhale for four seconds. It's like you pretend like you looking at a box. You inhale for four seconds. You hold it, you exhale for four seconds and then you hold it and it keep you super calm.

• 6:07Theo Von?

  And does it get a little scary at certain points or hard to remember? I guess you just get the use to the pattern.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  If it, if it, if you ever get off, you just reconnect to your breath. Cause you gonna talk, you gonna interrupt yourself, but then you reconnect to your breath and it keep you calm, like no anxiety.

• 6:23Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, I get, I get rattled pretty easy.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  And I'm an over thinker, like especially if I'm about to go somewhere, like I put unrealistic expectations on myself about the outcome.

• 6:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 01

  And we say that we, and I might say that I'm going in there with a positive attitude, but.

• 6:43Theo Von?

  Oh, I wanna know everything. I wanna know how it's gonna go. I wanna be able to like make sure I'm okay no matter what's going on.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  I knew this shit was gonna be cool, cause I was already around you at the Super Bowl. I was like, man, that dude crazy.

• 6:56Theo Von?

  Oh, I don't think anybody could out crazy you at this point, Kevin.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  I'll say, man, that's too crazy.

• 7:00Theo Von?

  You lost everybody, man.

• 7:04Theo Von?

  It's gonna be a little hot.

• 7:07Theo Von?

  Do we have any ice? We don't have any.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  I don't need no ice. I'm good.

• 7:10Theo Von?

  Okay. I'd like, I was kinda nervous to talk to you because I've known of you, you know, I'm from Louisiana, so I known about you like.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Louisiana bread.

• 7:17Theo Von?

  Even growing up. I remember the first time I ever heard about you, some of this girl I was talking to from Bogalusa was like, have you heard of Kevin Gates? And I thought it was a subdivision.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  It is.

• 7:27Theo Von?

  It is? Really? Oh, damn, I didn't know, like.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  It is now.

• 7:32Theo Von?

  Kevin Gates, damn, I said, I don't know, I don't know. You know, I got a friend that lives in Meadowbrook or whatever, but I've never been over there. And she's like, no, you have to hear some of what this guy's doing. And it was intense. It remind, the first time I listened to your music, it reminded me, the first time I saw UFC, I was like, some of this stuff is a little too hard for me, you know, a li, because it's, you, your stuff is very, it's, not all of it, but some of it's, it's graphic. It is real. It's very rarely, it's really raw. That's my perception of it.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:02Theo Von?

  Um, but so that's how I got introduced to you, obviously, was just from being in Louisiana. Um, do you miss those days in Louisiana coming up? What was that like for you, just kinda coming up, when you look back on it now?

• 8:13Speaker 01

  I'm grateful for Louisiana because it made me everything that I am right now. And the things that we cherish, other people don't really cherish when you go other places. And then with us having that Southern hospitality, like, yes, sir, no, sir. Don't call me that. You make me feel old when you go other places, but we used to catch whoopings for not saying, yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am.

• 8:36Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  You know, I'd have been beat with extension cords and whatever they could find.

• 8:41Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Go get a branch off the tree.

• 8:43Theo Von?

  Go get something. Oh, dude, my mother would beat me with my younger siblings. She would, I'm like, god damn, both of us getting it.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Grab them by the ankles.

• 8:50Theo Von?

  Yeah, like, damn, what? Um, what were, what were some of like, did you ever, did you get to work with other artists? I know people ask you that kind of stuff all the time, but growing up, like when I was coming up, they had like, uh, Mr. P, uh, Master P, Mystical.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Me and Master P did a song together. And I done done, I done worked with Wayne. We talking about only Louisiana?

• 9:12Theo Von?

  Yeah, I'm just talking about kind of that, that time in the nineties.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  I done worked with Master P. Um, if you want to go currently, I done worked with Fredo Bang, YB, Youngboy, Tick.

• 9:25Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, I heard that song you got with Youngboy. I just heard it the other day.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  I don't know who you say I am.

• 9:32Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:35Theo Von?

  Yeah, they had, I'm trying to think, oh, Partners in Crime, remember them?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:39Theo Von?

  It's that new Mr. Mina with that pop rock ego. Dude, they had Partners in Crime, UNLV, oh, is that UNLV? Pump the, pump the party.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  UNLV.

• 9:46Theo Von?

  They had, um, I'm trying to think of who else we love. Oh, Mystical was the best, Mystical was great, bro.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  I liked that bitch, I'm on that boot camp clique.

• 9:54Theo Von?

  Danger!

• 9:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like that.

• 9:57Theo Von?

  He kind of had his own thing and he had those horns in it.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, if we going that way, I like Fiend, Mr. Magic, I liked all, I liked everything that was coming out.

• 10:05Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  You gotta say Soul the Slim.

• 10:08Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  You gotta say Soul the Slim.

• 10:11Theo Von?

  I didn't, I don't, somebody didn't put me on to a lot of Soul the Slim out there.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  You gotta say Stone and Lick, you gotta say the D-Boys, you got to say all of them.

• 10:18Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think some of that I didn't get put on then.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:21Theo Von?

  But I loved, dude, that was a special time, I felt like, in Louisiana. Because every, oh, there were so many eyes were focused on it, they had like just so much sound coming out of there.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Still do.

• 10:30Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Like the sound different.

• 10:33Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, well, things have changed so much, but at that time, I just felt like, I don't know, there was something really spectacular about it at that time.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  We still got our own signature song. Louisiana, like, that's where the flavor at.

• 10:46Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  You get a, you get a ca, a container of juice and you sit it on a table. The flavor falls to the bottom. You have to shake it up for the flavor to go to the top. Flavor always.

• 10:58Theo Von?

  At the bottom, yeah.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  The bottom of the map.

• 11:00Theo Von?

  That's it. The bottom of the map, man. The bottom of the boot. Yeah, dude, I loved that time. That was a special time growing up, man. What was the styles that y'all had? And our ten, our, cause in Covington, we had like Jabo jeans. Polo with the big horse. Remember people would wear that sometimes?

• 11:18Speaker 01

  Polo crazy. I went polo crazy.

• 11:19Theo Von?

  I could see that.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  I went polo crazy.

• 11:21Theo Von?

  I could see that, bro.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Dead calves, collars, Jabo, Jabo's, um, I did Air Force Ones, but my thing was Adidas Stan Smiths.

• 11:29Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  I did Adidas Stan Smiths.

• 11:32Theo Von?

  I almost wore those today.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  All day I dream about stacks.

• 11:35Theo Von?

  Yeah. Dude, it was some, that was a great time, bro. I mean, it's, all times are great, but that was a special time. It's just something you and I can, you know, we both have a little bit of similarity of that.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was born in eighty six, so.

• 11:47Theo Von?

  Yeah, you're younger than me. Well, did you ever get to see Mystical around the way or no?

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Uh-uh. I seen him a few times when he was out of prison, but I haven't seen him since then.

• 11:55Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to think of, I remember we'd go to the rec center over at B R, uh, Baton Rouge.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  By LSU?

• 12:01Theo Von?

  Yeah, and, uh, Master P and his, they would be in there playing ball, uh, with like silk. Not, I don't know if she murdered, might have been in and out of there, but they definitely had silk was in there.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, silk stay out here now.

• 12:13Theo Von?

  Does he?

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I be seeing him at twenty four, at twenty four outfit.

• 12:16Theo Von?

  Let's go.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Every now and then when I used to go to.

• 12:20Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  To see him in that, hooping, still hooping.

• 12:22Theo Von?

  Yeah, that was a special time though, man. That was a big like explosion for, I felt like, uh, for Louisiana rap. Um, when you think of, like, I know you, there was a lot of hustling and stuff when you grew up. What do you, what was it like, like, the hustle? Like, when, when people say I had to hustle a lot when I was young, like, what does that mean exactly?

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Hustle?

• 12:42Theo Von?

  Yeah, I know what it means. Like, you have to grind, you gotta stay busy, you gotta figure things out.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Be locked in and you gotta be focused. Whatever your hustle is, you gotta give it a hundred and ten percent. Cause being from Louisiana ain't really nothing to do but die or go to jail.

• 12:55Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  So whatever it is that you focus on, you gotta be locked in. Like Ju and I say, we snatched all the hoes and bowls and retenants. We didn't give a fuck. We ball for three minutes.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  I might have said it backwards.

• 13:09Theo Von?

  That's a, we could edit it into the correct format. Um, what was your, what was some of your hustles as a youngster? What kind of hustling did you have to do personally?

• 13:19Speaker 01

  I started off washing cars.

• 13:21Theo Von?

  Yeah. What, just like in the yard, you had to put up a sign or you get like a?

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Uh-uh. I started off working at, um, they got a, they got a car wash on Coors.

• 13:30Theo Von?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  And that was my first job, washing cars.

• 13:33Theo Von?

  With the, like they had an inside and outside?

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, inside and outside. I started on a vacuum.

• 13:39Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  And then I started being like, once it come through the washer, you dry it off. And that's how I learned how to get the fender we, get the fender wells and the door jams last.

• 13:48Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, why?

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Because that's where I look dirty. So if you drying the car, you gotta dry the body of the car first, then you go back and get the fin, you go back and get the door jams and the fender wells last. That's where I look dirty.

• 14:00Theo Von?

  Cause otherwise you're gonna get the rag dirty and put it everywhere.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  You gonna put dirt on it, yeah.

• 14:04Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  And then even when you, and then even when you wipe the rims, you hold the towel and wipe the rims. You spray the, you spray the tie off, but you hold the towel and wipe the rims on the inside, clean them real good.

• 14:16Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  And the best thing to clean windows, I mean, to wipe windows with is newspaper.

• 14:21Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  No streaks.

• 14:23Theo Von?

  Yeah, why was that, I wonder?

• 14:24Speaker 01

  I don't know. I know it don't leave no streaks, make it look good.

• 14:27Theo Von?

  Yeah, that was nice. Dude, yeah, when I was growing up, washing your car was one of the, it was one of the best things you could do.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 14:34Theo Von?

  Cause you leave that, that thing felt beautiful, boy.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  That was your, that was your, that was your office?

• 14:39Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  That was your office, that was your escape. Ain't nothing like a late night ride.

• 14:45Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Waffle house.

• 14:47Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 14:48Theo Von?

  Dude, I remember exactly, if I lit, if I lit a cigarette at this one point, right when I take off out of work, it would get me all the way home. I'd pull up right into the driveway when that cigarette was done. It was like this perfect kind of like, kind of seance that I had in my life. I loved that.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  That was your first car?

• 15:06Theo Von?

  My first car was an eighty-four Ford Escort. That bitch was chill, but somebody-

• 15:09Speaker 01

  My first car was a Nissan Sentra.

• 15:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, really? What year was it?

• 15:13Speaker 01

  I don't know, the old, the old, old.

• 15:16Theo Von?

  Pull, pull one up. Just pull up a, uh, pull up a-

• 15:20Speaker 01

  The tan one.

• 15:21Theo Von?

  Pull up, pull up, pull up. Pull up a nineteen ninety. Let's see what they got. Let's see if we close on it. That Nissan-

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Nah, I was a little newer than that.

• 15:30Theo Von?

  Nah, uh, yeah, that's a little too old. Pull up a, uh-

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Pull up a two thousand and one.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  That's it right there.

• 15:38Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, that bitch tasted, boy, yeah.

• 15:42Theo Von?

  And so, so your first hustle was car washing. And then, did you get into stuff in the streets? Did you get into stuff that was kind of illegal type of stuff or no?

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, a little bit.

• 15:50Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Not nothing major, but a little bit. I did a little something.

• 15:53Theo Von?

  Yeah. Was it, does it feel like if you grow up in certain areas that you have to do that?

• 15:59Speaker 01

  You gonna want to. They're the only people getting money.

• 16:03Theo Von?

  Right.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  That's who the girls like.

• 16:06Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, the girls like somebody got a little bit of cash.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Like, I remember telling her, Gilly and Wallow, I was like, man, when I was young, I remember all I wanted was a car, some money, a girlfriend and a gun.

• 16:21Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Cause that's all you see.

• 16:23Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I gotta pull out a bankroll. That was just, you know.

• 16:29Theo Von?

  Just to show it off.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Then they start, then they start calling it rags.

• 16:32Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got rags. We will stay one from stacks to rags.

• 16:38Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think the name, the, do you think like, like over the years, you hear like things have changed, like the hood, the block, uh, the trenches, the mud, like it all, there's always kind of this evolution of the name, I feel like.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Man, we always, I call it the section.

• 16:54Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  They from the section. They from our section.

• 16:57Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Or they from out the section.

• 17:00Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Like if somebody, if, if you from my section or you from my area where I'm at, at the time that I'm, oh, yeah, he from out the section.

• 17:09Theo Von?

  Right.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Or I'm a ask him, or I say, I'm just coming home from jail and I see new faces, like, who are they? They from out the section? Yeah, that's such and such people. That's such and such people. You know what I'm saying?

• 17:19Theo Von?

  Yeah. Do you feel like, do you have to live in fear, like in, like in the section? Do you feel like in a black area, do you have to live in fear? Did it feel like?

• 17:27Speaker 01

  No, cause it's. Anything that you do every day is gonna feel regular to you. You know, anything that is new to you, say if it's new. If it's new, you gonna be a little apprehensive. You know what I'm saying? So you gonna have to sit back, scope it out, and then you fall in. You know, you in the mix now. But if you grew up in them type of environments, it ain't gonna feel like somewhat dangerous. It's gonna feel like home.

• 17:53Theo Von?

  Ah, yeah.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  So whatever go on, it just went on.

• 17:57Theo Von?

  Right, you don't know any different.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  But from the outside looking in, it's like, oh, God, it's so horrible there. Da-da-da-da-da. But when you in it, it's like, man, that's my people. This is my auntie. This is my cousin. This, you know.

• 18:09Theo Von?

  This is the culture.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like.

• 18:12Theo Von?

  Right, a fish don't know it's in water, really.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  It's family.

• 18:16Theo Von?

  Do you think, because you always hear over the years, you hear like, we gotta change these areas, right? You hear like, you have people, we gotta make things safer. We gotta change these areas. Do you think that the people actually in those communities, do you think they really want those communities to change? Or that is?

• 18:32Speaker 01

  If given the opportunity.

• 18:34Theo Von?

  Does that question make any sense to you or no?

• 18:35Speaker 01

  It make a lot. If given the opportunity, anybody would do better.

• 18:40Theo Von?

  Right.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  People do. A man, uh, yeah, this is a wise quote. A man is what he know, not what he's told. And I'll say it in like, uh, vernacular. A man is what he knows and not what he's told. You are what you know, not what you told. You are what you do, not what you say you'll do. So I could sit around and somebody could tell me, man, you know what? You should change and you should do this. And there's so many other opportunities, but if I'd never been exposed to these opportunities, all I know is what I know.

• 19:11Theo Von?

  Right.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  And that's like, that's where recidivism, that's people that, repeat offenders, habitual offenders. Because it's recidivism because they don't know anything but what they know. And I was like that. I was locked in, focused on one thing, till I started experiencing other things. I broadened my horizon. I opened my mind.

• 19:30Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, I've, I've watched a lot of, uh, interviews with you, man, and a lot of it's been really fascinating, man. I, I feel really thankful that you're here today to spend time. What, an Ambien?

• 19:41Speaker 01

  I just, I just read about, um, I just read about Laguna Beach, like. This was in two thousand and.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Maybe ten.

• 19:53Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Or eleven, cuz I read a lot of like vampire novels and all of that.

• 19:56Theo Von?

  Oh damn.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I'm a, I read a lot. I'm a record of reader, so. It's, this was like way in two thousand, maybe ten or eleven that I read a book. When I was reading the book, that was how I'm going to Laguna Beach. Last weekend, I just took my son to Laguna Beach for his birthday. So it was like a, kinda like a bucket list. Not a bucket list, but I was like, it'll be cool to go there. Like even like with Palm Springs, I read about Palm Springs before and I just passed through Palm Springs.

• 20:24Theo Von?

  And they had vampires that were there?

• 20:26Speaker 01

  And the, uh, Rochelle Mead got this vampire academy. And one of the schools that they went to was in Palm Springs.

• 20:32Theo Von?

  Yeah, boy. They some, part of older gay vampires probably over there.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  I don't know, but it was so crazy that you say that is because when you given the opportunity to do better, you will. If you never given that opportunity, you not gonna do better. We could say, yeah, you just gotta overcome and stay focused and lock in. I think me, well, the beautiful thing about Kevin Gates is I have a very adventurous spirit and I'm gonna try something. I, I love to try new things cuz it's how you create new neural paths. Like even if you, even if you did it and you didn't like it, you still had the experience.

• 21:09Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  So you created like new neural paths cuz if you do the, eh, the same thing every day, you become stagnant in the mind. You just.

• 21:16Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Become a robot.

• 21:17Theo Von?

  You become a cul-de-sac too, your own cul-de-sac.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, like that's, like, that's my biggest fear is being complacent. I don't ever wanna get stuck. So I did, then I went to the beach and it was like, it unlocked a few things for me. It was like, we just took a road trip. It wasn't nothing but like two hours, but.

• 21:34Theo Von?

  We did it.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  We did it.

• 21:35Theo Von?

  Yeah, we did something different.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  We did something different.

• 21:38Theo Von?

  Yeah, cuz I wonder sometimes, like, cuz you always like, you know, like, a lot of neighborhoods, especially if it's like impoverished neighborhoods, you know, they say that type of thing.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Predominantly black.

• 21:46Theo Von?

  And predominantly black neighborhoods. It's like, it's also those neighborhoods that give a lot of the culture its flavor and give it its story, right? Or some of its story, right? People say like, I came out of this, I came through this, right? So sometimes I just wonder like.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  It's a, it's a bliss. It's the people that are blessed. I say that because you're looking at people that grew up in hardship and the roughest conditions ever.

• 22:13Theo Von?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  But we made the best of what we had. And we didn't even know we was poor till we saw rich people.

• 22:18Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  It's like when you go to other countries, third world countries, they don't even know they poor till they see people with more than what they have.

• 22:25Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Like I was telling somebody one time, we just wanted a car. And then, once we saw the Bentley, we wanted the Bentley. And then we wanted this and we wanted that because we saw it. But to answer your question about the people that come through that, I believe it's a rite of passage.

• 22:40Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  It's like, it's like, it's like the movie Leonidas. When the boy went off into the wilderness and he came back a man. Like, we don't have no father figures or none of that in the house. We come from mostly a single mother. Uh, your mom at work, your grandmother raised you, things of that nature. And we had to go out there and just find our way. So it was like a rite of passage.

• 23:06Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  And the beautiful thing about me is I had beautiful people in my life. That kinda helped guide me and lead me and steer me in the right direction.

• 23:14Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  I made mistakes, I bumped my head, and I appreciate every one of them. Cause they made me this. But to answer that question, it's, I look at it more like a rite of passage.

• 23:27Theo Von?

  This is an ad by BetterHelp. You know, men today, uh, face immense pressures. To keep it all together, to provide, uh, to just fricking be a lieutenant in your own little world. It's a lot. It's responsibility. If you're a father especially, it adds more to it. And sometimes you struggle. And sometimes you struggle in silence. And that's the worst. That's the worst, man. I notice if there's things that are just eating up my brain, things that are bothering me so much that keep recurring. If I can get to a therapist and talk with somebody about it.

• 24:04Theo Von?

  Suddenly, my brain just exhales and everything feels like it's gonna be a lot more possible. I've personally benefited from therapy through BetterHelp. And what I like about them is you can do it online, you can do it on the phone, you can switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy retailer in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/theo. That's betterhelp.com/theo. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping?

• 24:50Theo Von?

  Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes, men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same.

• 25:36Theo Von?

  Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at [email protected]. Thank you.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  But a lot of time when we be having like, our bodies just really need salt.

• 26:20Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  We be dehydrated.

• 26:22Theo Von?

  You know, I noticed that happens more often. I feel like, and when I was a kid, you didn't hear anybody talk about dehydration. Now, I feel like people talk about it every day.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  Cause we ate salt. We cooked with seasoning. Louisiana seasoning.

• 26:34Theo Von?

  That's a good point. People.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  You don't hear people down there talking about, you dehydrated, eat a pickle. Country boy can't survive.

• 26:42Theo Von?

  Yeah, bro. That was it.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  Country boy can't survive.

• 26:46Theo Von?

  That's a good point. Everybody had gout too. Everybody had sugar pressure, gout, salt pressure, everything.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Country boy can't survive.

• 26:53Theo Von?

  Everything. That was it. Um, you were a practicing Muslim?

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm a Muslim.

• 27:00Theo Von?

  Nice. Nice to see you today. Um, I.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Oh, like, you talking about what I got on?

• 27:04Theo Von?

  No, I think you.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Oh, no, this ain't got shit.

• 27:06Theo Von?

  No, it doesn't look like that.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  I'm not that kind of one.

• 27:09Theo Von?

  No, I didn't know.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  No, cause I got the bow tie.

• 27:21Theo Von?

  Oh, you thought that was part of the.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  I'm so not sorry. Please forgive me.

• 27:31Theo Von?

  Nah, I didn't know what you mean. Cause you thought, cause I thought the bow tie?

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Cause the irony, it's ironic that I got the bow tie on. I'm not that kind, but I'm. My Dave Chappelle said, I'm not good at it, but you know, I do the best, I do the best I can, you know?

• 27:53Theo Von?

  No, I didn't know. I thought, no, I feel like, nah. Yeah, I didn't know what I thought. I just felt like, dang Kevin. Yeah, I thought you just seemed like a, uh.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  It's okay.

• 28:02Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  It's okay.

• 28:05Theo Von?

  Dang, that's hilarious.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  It was just funny, cause I, I had, that's one thing I like. Like, I possess the ability to laugh at myself. And once I developed the ability to laugh at myself, life became so much more easier.

• 28:19Theo Von?

  Let's talk about that.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  If I slip and fall.

• 28:21Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  Like, every time we step outside, we being judged. You know, if you went to school and you had to, oh god, I gotta say it. I got, not to get off subject, I used to hate free dress day at school. Uniform saved my life.

• 28:39Theo Von?

  Really?

• 28:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 28:41Theo Von?

  Why, you couldn't handle it?

• 28:43Speaker 01

  I ain't have no clothes.

• 28:45Theo Von?

  Oh damn.

• 28:47Theo Von?

  Yeah, you just wore the uniform again like Kevin.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  Man, for free dress day, I wore my mom, I wore a pair of my mama jeans to build a school. And an old, and an old timey hip figure shirt and the same shoes I had been wearing to school the whole time, man, they teased me forever. Then, you know how you got the faded part on the knees?

• 29:05Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  It was like, why your knees white? Would you been on your knees? Nah, that's the style. Everybody got distressed denim though.

• 29:11Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  So, that was hard, that was the worst. But I said that to say this, if you possess the ability to laugh at yourself, you never have to worry about being shamed of anything, like.

• 29:24Theo Von?

  What, I've, I've heard you, I've heard you talk about that before. In fact, man, it's funny, cause one of the things that.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  It's okay to be human, you know what I'm saying?

• 29:30Theo Von?

  Well, you know, it was, most of my life, it was hard for me to laugh at myself. A couple of years ago, it's so funny. A couple of years ago, there was a moment that happened, I don't remember what it was, but I like, I went.

• 29:43Theo Von?

  Theo, I just kinda laughed at myself and said my name. My whole life, I didn't realize, my whole life, it had been this internal thing that had been just judging me always. And for the first time ever.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Our worst critics.

• 29:56Theo Von?

  But I just didn't realize how infected I'd been by my own, by judgment of myself.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  But we're taught that, because when we come outside, we judged by our peers, we judged by everything. If you do this, if you do that.

• 30:08Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  And then it's like, you know what? I'm gonna be the best human I could be.

• 30:13Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  I don't care if I make mistakes, I'mma, I'mma follow my heart, I don't care what nobody think, I swear to god, I'mma be the best human I could be. And, um, something else I used to do?

• 30:25Theo Von?

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Before I developed a greater sense of self-worth, I would overcompensate. And that's still a form of seeking validation. Like, I would overextend and I would overextend myself as far as just the person I am. Not to be liked, I was doing this because this is what I really wanted somebody to do for me.

• 30:49Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  So I would overextend and just overshare and over-love and over-everything. I would do it to the most. But this is the love that I should have been giving myself.

• 30:59Theo Von?

  Bro, there'll be times I'll text, this over the past two years, I noticed this have happened for me. I'll text somebody. "Hey, man, just wanted to remind you, you're a great, you're a great guy, and I'm so proud of you."

• 31:10Speaker 01

  I wish somebody would tell me that.

• 31:12Theo Von?

  And as I'm typing it to them, tears will come out of my face. And I didn't realize, and it's a nice thing to say to them, and a lot of times it's a person I'll have enough of a connection with, where like we share a lot of similar experiences, so we can, you know, we'll say that type of thing to each other. But man, sometimes as I'm sending that, because really, I just like, that's what I always needed, right?

• 31:32Speaker 01

  The dude who did my, my guns on my hands, my gun tattoos. His name, Trevin Spielman, but some people call him Trevon or Trevin. I call him just T.

• 31:43Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  My brother, but.

• 31:45Theo Von?

  What is he doing? He's out of Louisiana or where?

• 31:47Speaker 01

  I'm out of T.

• 31:48Theo Von?

  Okay, sorry.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  He used to always make jokes. He used to always laugh. He used to always check on everybody else. And we, he sent me a text message. I got on the flight and went to California. When my flight landed, the last text message, he was like, "I don't think I could do this anymore." Then I found out he killed himself. So it's like, oftentimes, the people that's always helping everybody else, like, it make you want to start checking on them. That's why when I did it, and not to bring up nothing with Drewski, but shout out to Drewski. Um, I did a little show where I was on there like a blind date. And he was like, "Man, you too uptight." And I'm like, "I'm not. I just..."

• 32:31Speaker 01

  Most of the time, the people that make all the jokes, I check on their well-being, because that's how my brother was. He used to always make jokes and make me laugh, and he'd be doing my tattoos, and I'd be telling him about everything I've been through. Like, he was like my therapist. And he even flew out to California one time just to tattoo me. Can't stay at my apartment and everything. And you never know what people going through internally. And tha- that's the reason I like, I don't just take people for granted, like especially people that's always making everybody else laugh.

• 33:01Theo Von?

  Ah, so I'll laugh with you, but I'm also wanna be here with you to see what's going on.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I'mma laugh, I'mma laugh with you, but when we finish, I'mma ask you, like, you, you sure everything okay, like? Cause if you need to talk, I'm here.

• 33:14Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  Like, and that's just the type of person I am, because he was one of them people, he was super funny, everything. I never would've thought.

• 33:21Theo Von?

  Right.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  He would've took his own life.

• 33:23Theo Von?

  And that's what he just was dealing with, too much pain?

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was dealing with a lot.

• 33:28Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  He was dealing with a lot. That's my brother, I love him.

• 33:32Theo Von?

  Amen. Trevon, Trev- Trev-

• 33:34Speaker 01

  His name Trevon Spielman.

• 33:36Theo Von?

  Trevon Spielman.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  But some people call him Trevon.

• 33:38Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  And like, he from Louisiana too.

• 33:40Theo Von?

  Trevon Spielman. Well, good, I'm glad we say his name today, man.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, it just made me think about that, like, the people that give the most, we never ask them, do they need anything?

• 33:51Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, man, it's, you know, it's, man, a lot of my life, especially like as an adult, in the past ten years, eight years, really, has been having a journey with myself, right? I didn't even know who I was. I don't even know if, honestly, bruh, I feel sometimes like I've only been alive for about five or six years in some way. Before that-

• 34:11Speaker 01

  You too?

• 34:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, you too? Before that, I was alive, but I was just, and I don't even know what was controlling me. I'm grateful that God was giving me guidance.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  You was alive, but you wasn't living.

• 34:21Theo Von?

  Man, I was, well, I just didn't even know, only, the only way I was experiencing the world was how you needed me to experience it, you know, kinda type of thing. But I wanted to say one more time, just that like, yeah, there was a moment where I laughed at myself.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Oh, I, hey, I ain't mean to cut you off, please forgive me.

• 34:38Theo Von?

  No, you didn't at all.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  We just got lost.

• 34:40Theo Von?

  No, it's important, this is good, I think, and you've, you're totally forgiven, and yeah, I'm sorry for cutting you off too. Um, but uh, yeah, just to be able to laugh at myself, bruh. And then part of me, I felt, man, my whole life, here I am. And I won't even give my own self a laugh. It's like, cause I'm, not only am I talking, but I'm listening to myself at the same time. And I wouldn't even laugh. Every time I'd just been like, man, that's, there's an old thing inside of me. You not enough. You gotta be perfect or you not. Nobody's gonna pay attention. It's like just a constant system of judgment, you know? And so, man, to laugh at myself is just crazy.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  My publicist, her name Alvina, she like.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  God give you what you need.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  A lot of times when you don't even know that you need it. And me and her arguing, arguing, arguing, arguing, but she always tell me like, you gonna be great. That's my life's mission, that you be great. So, one of the lessons, we have like a lesson every week. And one of the lessons for one week, she was telling me, give yourself grace. Cause I'm super, I'm like you, I'm super critical on myself. If I don't honor the commitments I made to myself, I'm a bitch.

• 35:56Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  You know?

• 35:57Theo Von?

  Yeah, definitely. And here's the crazy thing I would do, Kevin. I would go, I would go for a run one day or do something. And then I'd be like, we grinding every day. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go run a million mile. Next week I'm running seven miles. And then the next day I wouldn't even go for a run, but I'd have built up all of this steam in my head, like I was in the Olympics. And so then I'd let myself, my aspirations were so diabolical and ridiculous that. But when I did let myself down, I would let myself fall from the heights of my aspirations, not even from.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  Not even from where you was at.

• 36:31Theo Von?

  Yes. You just took one run, you just one neighborhood over. And you got yourself at the Olympic trials in Atlanta, like, but the, the shame I would feel would be the fall from the Olympic trials and I only fucking went. Damn, probably 1100 feet.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  That's why everybody that tell me they wanna get into fitness, they be like, what you think I should do first? I say baby steps. Baby steps. Take baby steps. If you walk in the gym and walk out, you still showed up. You did something that you wouldn't have done yesterday.

• 37:00Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Maybe this time you might get on a treadmill and walk for maybe two or three minutes. I don't know. Who knows? Start drinking more water. Baby steps, like every, like everything is baby steps.

• 37:10Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, I would never even give myself the grace of like, let me have those babies, you know?

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Then you know something else I used to do?

• 37:16Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  I used to compare myself to people that was taking steroids and all of that. And I'm like, I want my body to look like this. And I'm like. And I used to wa- I used to watch them dudes say stuff like, if you ain't got no six pack, you fat, homie. And I was like, damn, I'm fat. So I had unrealistic expectations. I'm just like you. And then I started giving myself grace and I'm like.

• 37:40Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  I didn't even come in it to look like that. I just wanted my clothes to be able to fit good.

• 37:46Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  I just, I just didn't want to be titty man anymore.

• 37:49Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah. He didn't want to have them nice titties on him, boy.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Breast cases. I just, I just didn't want to be titty man anymore. And then.

• 37:57Theo Von?

  God bless.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  You start comparing yourself to other people and you lose, we lose ourselves in what we really wanted. What was our goal? I just wanted, I wanted a bedroom body.

• 38:06Theo Von?

  That's it, that's it.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  That's it, that's all.

• 38:08Theo Von?

  I don't want to look good in my pajamas, that's it.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just wanted a nice little bedroom body. Now all of a sudden, I'm just like, man, I want to be Hercules.

• 38:16Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 38:16Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. I want to have muscles on the side of my cock or whatever. You have them dudes, they be showing they, they be flexing their cock. They got one dude, he could flex his cock. I'm like, I don't got to see that.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  You been doing the dick lips, huh?

• 38:27Theo Von?

  Yeah, you fucking doing something, bro.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Putting a li- they, they get that fishing, they get that fishing string and put it at the end of it with the little weight. When you, the sinker?

• 38:37Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  And make it flex.

• 38:41Theo Von?

  With that fishing sinker, that little thing? Dang, man, uh. No, thank you for saying some of that, dude. Yeah, but the first time I ever laughed at myself, I realized what have, how have I been treating myself this whole time?

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Horrible.

• 38:56Theo Von?

  I've heard you talk a lot about things like that, man. And some of the stuff you say, man, just thank you for sharing. I know you're not a prophet or anything like that, but just thank you for sharing honestly. Because I think that's the greatest thing we can try to do.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm profitable prophet.

• 39:08Theo Von?

  Yeah, but I feel like it's a, we can try to share honestly.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  Profitable.

• 39:11Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  I'm just not a prophet.

• 39:14Theo Von?

  What up?

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Only reason I say that cuz you know when you hear about prophets, they like these such perfect people.

• 39:21Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  I ain't perfect. I will make some mistakes today.

• 39:28Theo Von?

  Titty man on the loose today, baby.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  They got a dude at the gym, his name Kevin. When I walk in, he's like, hey, not titty man anymore.

• 39:38Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, he showed up, huh?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, like cuz I did an interview and I was like.

• 39:43Theo Von?

  Yeah, sorry for calling you titty man.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Nah, it's okay. It's no big deal. Hey, it's beautiful because that's where I came from. I was titty man. Like I was holding a baby and the baby tried to suck my titty. I had breasts. And that was the most embarrassing moment for me ever. I still talk about that to this day. And somebody was like, no, you're running like, I said, yeah, I had breasts. I was titty man. So then they heard the interview and when I went to the gym, they were like, hey, you're not titty man anymore. I was like.

• 40:11Theo Von?

  Oh, I used to stay up and look at my buddy had some tits on and my buddy.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  I was gonna do that thing. I used to think that I had, uh, what is called gynoglamast- glanoglam- gynoglamastia? Whatever it's called.

• 40:24Theo Von?

  Pull it up, glanoglamastia, see what it is.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  Gynoglamast-

• 40:27Theo Von?

  Where is it in the Middle East? Oh, gonocomastia.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Whatever it's, I don't know how to pronounce the word. I be hearing a lot of people say it. They like gyno or whatever.

• 40:36Theo Von?

  Gonocomastia, a condition where male breast tissue enlarges due to an imbalance of estrogen and testosterone.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  And I, and they had this surgery where you go get your, your titty cut out. And I was like, man, I do that. I'm tired of this shit. And I didn't know you got abs under here. And when you work the abs, that's what lift, like your ab muscle, don't just, it go all the way up to the pectoral. And that's what lift it. And then doing dips and doing abs, that's what made all of that disappear, just lift.

• 41:05Theo Von?

  Got that titty off.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:07Theo Von?

  God. Yeah, my buddy had them and we used to, I used to stay up at night and he would have his shirt off and I'd look at them bitches, bruh.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  I hate that.

• 41:17Theo Von?

  I liked it.

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Like when I used to go to the YMCA.

• 41:20Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, which one?

• 41:21Speaker 01

  I used to go to the one on, um, on college. The old one though, not the, not the new, the old one.

• 41:28Theo Von?

  Pull up that YMCA in Baton Rouge, the one, there's one over there by the Walgreens.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Not on college, on Foster.

• 41:34Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  On Foster, the old one, on all Foster, I used to go to that one. I'm talking about when I used to come out my shirt, they used to free Willie, talking about the will.

• 41:44Theo Von?

  Damn, yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, never in life.

• 41:47Theo Von?

  I didn't know people were going through that. Yeah, that's A.C. Lewis right there, that's a good YMCA. Free Willie out there.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:55Theo Von?

  Did you go to school over there ever? Did you, did you go to college over there too?

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Something like that, I went to community college.

• 42:01Theo Von?

  Did you, where you go, BRCC?

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 42:03Theo Von?

  Let's go. My sister used to work over there, Cox Communications over there, man. Yeah, my brother went to Southern for a little while. Damn, bro, that's why, what were you studying over there?

• 42:13Speaker 01

  Business.

• 42:14Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Introduction to business.

• 42:16Theo Von?

  And you graduated, bruh?

• 42:18Speaker 01

  I ain't graduated.

• 42:18Theo Von?

  But overall, you did.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I graduated.

• 42:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, big facts, man.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  I'm a billion miles past.

• 42:28Theo Von?

  Did you get a degree, I, I, at some point I saw that, or I read in, um, that you got a degree in jail, in prison.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:35Theo Von?

  Is that true?

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 42:36Theo Von?

  Wow, what were the classes like in there and stuff, what is it?

• 42:39Speaker 01

  It's not, it wasn't no classes, you just test. I got credits by testing.

• 42:44Theo Von?

  Oh, so they don't have like, um, do y'all have, do y'all, do y'all do like, um, I'm trying to think of what it's called, do y'all have like, um, group projects or whatever?

• 42:52Speaker 01

  No, they, you have an administrator that administer the test.

• 42:55Theo Von?

  Oh, damn.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  You test, whenever you ready to test, you test. Well, you can't say whenever you ready to test, like you might test once a month or something like that, but I had a little way that I was able to keep testing. Shout out to them.

• 43:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, shout out to them. But so you don't, you don't have group projects, I was wondering, yeah, if you got a group project or something, what if your group leader gets put in like in a solitary confinement or whatever?

• 43:19Speaker 01

  It wasn't like that.

• 43:20Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  It was, it was not like that in Louisiana prisons, it was like really every man for their self.

• 43:26Theo Von?

  So you take your test and then like was it?

• 43:28Speaker 01

  You studied a curriculum and then you go take a test.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  You have an administrator that makes sure you don't cheat.

• 43:35Theo Von?

  And did other people look down on you if you was trying to study in there or no?

• 43:38Speaker 01

  No, you trying to get out, just trying to get out the door.

• 43:41Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Trying to get out the door.

• 43:44Theo Von?

  Yeah, I was just wondering if you had like a.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Now, when I went to prison in Chicago, when I, what that's Illinois, it was, I forgot. Uh, it's EMCC, East Moline, but I forgot the place in Illinois that it was. Now, they had individual classrooms, like, on the campus.

• 44:05Theo Von?

  So y'all would go to class?

• 44:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was beautiful.

• 44:08Theo Von?

  Damn.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  That, that, that last bit I did, it changed my life completely. That's how I got into yoga. Like, they offer programs and everything.

• 44:17Theo Von?

  At the prison?

• 44:18Speaker 01

  At the prison, and they had weights.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  I say that like I was lifting weights.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Like, if you wanted to be better, you could become better.

• 44:30Theo Von?

  But dude, that reminds me, you ever been at like a hotel or motel, you'll be in the gym working out, they have a family just come look at the gym equipment and then just walk out?

• 44:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that just, that just happened to me and, um, you say at the gym?

• 44:42Theo Von?

  Yeah, like you'll be in the gym.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  That just happened to me and, um, I was in South Carolina. Yeah, I was in South Carolina working out at a hotel in a gym. And they had people passing by the gym, and they would look in the gym and open the door and leave out, but they was having like a fraternity reunion though.

• 44:59Theo Von?

  A conference or something?

• 45:00Speaker 01

  I forgot what fraternity it was, but it was like from all over the, like, country, they was, they're having some kind of reunion.

• 45:08Theo Von?

  Like Pan-Hellenic or something like that, maybe?

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Nah, they was a, they was friends, they was fraternity, and they told me they was in a fraternity. A few of them came in and talked to me.

• 45:16Theo Von?

  Masons or something?

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Nah, they wasn't masons, they was like, uh, college.

• 45:22Theo Von?

  Oh, Fraudeeltas or something?

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Something like that.

• 45:24Theo Von?

  Chuppa Durs?

• 45:25Speaker 01

  And they was like, yeah, they was like, yeah, bro, we down here for some kind of get together, they having parties, they was like, man.

• 45:31Theo Von?

  Oh, they drinking?

• 45:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, we big fans. I was like, yeah, thank you.

• 45:35Theo Von?

  Yeah, sometimes it's wild, I'll be in the gym and people will come in and just look at the gym like, well, look at this, if it ain't a gym, you know, and then they just leave out.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  At least they showed up.

• 45:43Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's a good point, huh? That's baby steps.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  They showed up.

• 45:46Theo Von?

  That's baby steps. Um, yeah, cause I was just wondering if you're in jail, do you have group projects, or is there like, most likely to, you know, like, that kind of thing? Like, is it like a real, like, most likely to succeed, or most likely to?

• 45:58Speaker 01

  It's still.

• 45:59Theo Von?

  Get out of jail or whatever?

• 46:00Speaker 01

  It's still, it's still individual-based learning, but.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  You do earn good time by going to school. I like, I liked it. The way they had it set up in Illinois, they had programs and you earn good time by going to school. It's like that in Louisiana and some facilities, you earn good time by going to school, but.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  The way they had it set up in Illinois was different. Like they had real programs, like real classrooms that you go to. They got some facilities that offer that, but it's not the same.

• 46:31Theo Von?

  So it was more organized over there?

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was, it was more, I'mma say this. It was based to help people. It was geared toward anti-recidivism. Recidivism is repeat offenders. Anti-recidivism is people that, that go to jail and become better and don't come back. It was geared toward anti-recidivism. Like in Louisiana, it's not geared toward that. It's geared toward. It's a revolving door. You're gonna come back.

• 47:00Theo Von?

  Right, we'll see you soon.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:01Theo Von?

  Yeah, welcome back, that type of thing. See you next time.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  You know, like, you going in there, they.

• 47:06Theo Von?

  We missed you.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  The, the, this is one of the worst things, but it was the most beautiful thing that ever happened too, cuz I needed this. They called me in, they had switched my P O. They switched my P O. So they called me in, I go in, I'm thinking I'm just going to piss.

• 47:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Like, you know, give an update on what's going on. Yeah, put your hands behind your back. Took me to jail. They say you traveled without, uh, notifying anybody. I'm like, y'all switched my P O. I had been attempting to contact and nobody had ever picked the phone up.

• 47:39Theo Von?

  Bang. And where'd you go? You took a vacation?

• 47:41Speaker 01

  No, I didn't take a vacation. I was working.

• 47:43Theo Von?

  I won't say anything.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, in the same spot that, the same spot that the P O had already approved travel for. And that's what made me start getting copies of everything.

• 47:53Theo Von?

  Right, so you got proof of what somebody said?

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want, can, can you sign it? Can I get a travel for a bit? Can you sign it? And I start getting copies. Can you make me a copy? And I start keeping a folder and keeping copies. It was beautiful though. It made me be more organized.

• 48:04Theo Von?

  Yeah, get some organization in your life and recognize, yeah, you gotta have proof of what's going on, even for yourself, because you can't even rely on other people's proof. Cuz they'll forget the proof, they'll alter the proof. You don't even know sometimes.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Believe is that sometime people get so busy and caught up with what they got going on.

• 48:18Theo Von?

  That's true.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  That is easy to forget. If you dealing with a hundred different people, you not gonna possibly remember little old me, till my name start buzzing.

• 48:25Theo Von?

  Right. Well, that's a good point too, because that's an interesting way. Sometimes I'll think, this is the way that I'll think. I'll think, oh, they doing that on purpose to me. As opposed to what you just said, sometimes you're like.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Adversity builds character.

• 48:37Theo Von?

  But people got a million things going on, they're not thinking, they're just doing their shit.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  They say never suspect malice of what could be mistaken for incompetence. Never take as malice for what could be misinterpreted as incompetence.

• 48:50Theo Von?

  And it usually is this, usually is this kind of incompetence.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  People don't just go out of their way to do fucked up shit to you. They just be so preoccupied with what they got going on. They don't even know that this is what they doing. Until made aware.

• 49:04Theo Von?

  But see, there were times in my head, I'd be like, these motherfuckers, that's how they treating, but it's not anything like that, you know?

• 49:10Speaker 01

  We gonna automat-, you know, that's, we gonna automatically plex. I still plex sometime, like have a con-, develop a complex about feeling like I'm being, you know, mishandled and things of that nature, but I don't even look at it like that that shit be so petty, cuz I look at it not like, it's an invitation for me to lower my frequency. I stay.

• 49:31Theo Von?

  What is something you miss about prison?

• 49:33Speaker 01

  I don't miss nothing about prison.

• 49:36Theo Von?

  Even something little?

• 49:37Speaker 01

  No, I don't miss nothing about prison.

• 49:42Theo Von?

  So there's nothing in it, but what about even just getting some rest every now and then? Was it like that or no?

• 49:47Speaker 01

  I can get rest out here. I need to go to prison for the good rest.

• 49:51Theo Von?

  You're right, man. I'm trying to, yeah.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  What I miss?

• 49:54Theo Von?

  Now I'm gonna read ads for some of the prisons.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  Somebody coming that, somebody coming that making sure you in compliance, bed made up, all that. I ain't got time for that shit. I do that on my own anyway.

• 50:04Theo Von?

  And what about a cellmate at night? Like, do people say goodnight to each other, or people just quietly go to sleep?

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Uh, it depend on if you and your cellmate cool. If you and, you got a cell and y'all cool like that, you know, but with me, anytime I leave, any cell I have, they gonna always, man, I'mma miss you, bro. Cuz I just, I keep it going. I run eps and everything, and when I say run eps, that mean like, I'm running an episode, like, we talking about shit. But he might go, when I first get in the cell, it might go about ninety days, my cellmate gonna always ask me the same thing. Hey. You sleep all day and you be up all night. You don't watch TV and you don't get on the phone. So I be reading. I just read. I read books. I got stacks of books in there.

• 50:54Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  Then I'm, then I don't even go to child. So like say if you indigent.

• 50:59Theo Von?

  Uh huh.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Indigent mean don't nobody send you no money. I'mma ask you. You've, you got family out there? They love you? They send you money, you gonna tell me no, that what I'mma do, I'mma put a hundred dollars on your books. You gonna give me eighty worth of shit? And you gonna just keep the twenty for you?

• 51:14Theo Von?

  Yeah. That's business.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. So you know, you eating and I'm eating, cause I don't even go to child.

• 51:20Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  So I do hookups every night. I cook.

• 51:23Theo Von?

  So you in your own space then?

• 51:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'mma cook every night.

• 51:26Theo Von?

  So you kind of try to create your own system within that system, do you feel like in a way?

• 51:31Speaker 01

  No, that's just how I live. That's how I do my time. I do my bid like that. I don't really go to child unless it's on chicken day.

• 51:36Theo Von?

  Right.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  And then.

• 51:38Theo Von?

  And no judgment on that.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  I probably don't go on chicken day. Cause all the chicken gonna get brought to me anyway. And I'mma just cut all that, I'mma cha, cut all that up and put that in a soup.

• 51:47Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Put that in a hookup. A hookup like where you get a big bowl and you, you know, we cook.

• 51:52Theo Von?

  You got your own thing going. Now, how do you heat the food up in the cell?

• 51:55Speaker 01

  It depends on what spot we at.

• 51:57Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  It depends on where we at. They got some people, they cook on the bone. Like on the middle.

• 52:04Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  They got some people, they got some jails where they give you a hot pack. But you gotta rig it for it to make it boil. It's, it depends. Some people make a stinger.

• 52:14Theo Von?

  What is that?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  A stinger, that's the thing they hook in the electric socket and let it stinger. It depends.

• 52:21Theo Von?

  Oh, there you got somebody grilling something right there on a bed sheet.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:25Theo Von?

  Oh, that's good.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  It depend, it depends on what spot we at.

• 52:29Theo Von?

  They have some good chefs in prison?

• 52:31Speaker 01

  The best.

• 52:32Theo Von?

  Amen. Amen dude. Yeah, where's that cooking show, huh?

• 52:36Speaker 01

  They got people make pizzas, everything. Anything you could think of, stir fry, everything.

• 52:42Theo Von?

  Yeah, I love that.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  They got, I was locked up in Florida, they got some shit they do, they call it making a brick. Where they take it, man, they put everything in there, turkey, sausage, everything, and they just. I'm talking about everything you could think of, they can get out the kitchen, they put in a, and they make it, they, they cook it. In a Dorito bag and make it like a holy brick.

• 53:03Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Man, I'm talking about the truth.

• 53:05Theo Von?

  Good, huh? You ever do a prison night or something at the house, remake some food like that, or try to, you ever remake any stuff like that for your friends, so they can taste it?

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I done did that for my partners and my little son, he like all that.

• 53:16Theo Von?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  But we come from that anywhere on the street, number ramen noodles and all that, we come from that, put anything you could find in it.

• 53:23Theo Von?

  Yeah, well, the big thing in our house is.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, my partner used to make my, he, he wasn't my seller, but he was like two doors down. About three doors down, he used to make burritos.

• 53:33Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. Did he really, he's a Mexican guy?

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Nah, he wasn't Mexican, but he used to make burritos.

• 53:39Theo Von?

  He pretended he was Mexican for dinner, huh?

• 53:41Speaker 01

  You would have thought he was a Mexican.

• 53:43Theo Von?

  Yeah, I love a burrito, bruh.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Man, he used to make the best ones.

• 53:47Theo Von?

  I didn't like him at first because I didn't wanna do, I like sandwiches, I didn't wanna betray a sandwich.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Do it with all beef, all turkey, all chicken, I'm talking about the truth.

• 53:56Theo Von?

  My god.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  Onions, everything, bell peppers, everything. He was putting everything in it.

• 54:02Theo Von?

  Now, all the ingredients, you get them through the jail, or some people smuggle in a bell pepper?

• 54:05Speaker 01

  You get that from commissary, but like, like vegetables and shit, all that's gonna get broke, that's coming from the kitchen. That's gonna get broke, that's broke.

• 54:16Theo Von?

  And what about, he got any good desserts in prison, was there ever like a?

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, they got dudes in there make candy, they got dudes in there make ice cream.

• 54:21Theo Von?

  God dang, really? Wow, I would love that.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  They got dudes make everything in there, them some of the most creative people you gonna ever meet in your life. Them some of the most intelligent people you gonna ever meet in your life. The most intelligent.

• 54:37Theo Von?

  You talking about weights, you talking about yoga, you got into yoga when you were in there?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I accidentally got into yoga.

• 54:42Theo Von?

  How'd that happen?

• 54:43Speaker 01

  My partner kept telling me, man, bro.

• 54:45Theo Von?

  But I think a lot of black men, they, you can't just say I got into yoga. I think you have to be like, I accidentally got into yoga.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  I was against it. I was all the way against it.

• 54:52Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  He was telling me, man, bro, I'm telling you, bro, they got yoga classes. I said, well, you go in there and bend over. I'm not going in there and do that shit. You go in there and bend your ass over.

• 55:01Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  So that was, I was just, I was like too hard for myself, just whatever, whatever, whatever. So, one of my partners from across the hall, he was like, yeah, bro, I'mma holler at you, I'm about to go do yoga. I say, for what? He was like, man, I couldn't even like, he was telling me he had knee pains and all kind of different pains in his joints. He said, I don't even have that shit no more since I've been doing yoga. He said, man, everything on me, like, he said, it's been healing my body. So I'm like, whatever. Like, two days passed, I give it a try, go in the, the first maybe, two poses of the shit I did, I'm thinking it's some bullshit, like, you know? When you see on TV, you see people, oh, namaste.

• 55:42Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  You know, you thinking it's bullshit. So I did it.

• 55:45Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  Like, maybe after the third pose, I ran to the bathroom and shit it, everything, like, it cut my appetite. It really was started my, kind of started my fitness journey. Like, a lot of the people that was lifting weights and doing all that was still coming to do yoga because I had read in the, what's, what's that, uh, the Anna Swansonaker Encyclopedia?

• 56:07Theo Von?

  Uh.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  That big yellow book?

• 56:09Theo Von?

  What's he got on there? He had a big, it's called, uh...

• 56:12Speaker 01

  There you go, right there. Anna Swansonaker Encyclopedia, that's the one. But, and he did yoga. He was like, when a, ever a lion wake up, a lion stretch first, before they do anything. So I started looking at it. And you know, when you, when you start feeding yourself that, that not, you know, your brain open up to something different when you reading it, because you could, you become like an information freak, you become like a seeker of knowledge, because this is the only thing that's stimulating you mentally. You know what I'm saying? You being stimulated by new information. So then I was like, man, yeah, I'mma go fuck with it. So I started fucking with it. I came home, I got off it, but then I had got back on it. And now I'm like, fully committed.

• 56:58Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, dude, I've definitely done some yoga where you'll, I mean, you will shit, you have shit, you're like, damn, this shit been missing.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  It cuts your appetite and everything.

• 57:05Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  If I don't do yoga, I feel weird.

• 57:08Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh dude, there's nothing better when you get done with yoga and you cut off the computer or however you do, you know?

• 57:15Speaker 01

  I love when my yoga coach used to tell me, thank you for allowing me to share this space with you. Namaste.

• 57:22Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  I'm like, I bet you not like this at the house. But in my brain, you know.

• 57:30Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. Oh dude, yoga sometimes, bro, there'd be a pose, one time I would do something with my shoulder.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  I had shoulder pain and all that shit.

• 57:37Theo Von?

  It unlocks something inside of me, my tears just coming out of my face, just stuck in my muscles.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  You know that's crazy? That happened to me doing a pigeon pose.

• 57:46Theo Von?

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  And I was just in the pose, I was laying there, and I ain't wanna lift back up, cuz I was just crying uncontrollably. And she came and put her hands on my back and she was like, the energy that you're feeling right now is not your own, it's just psychic debris. You're having an emotional detox.

• 58:04Theo Von?

  Damn.

• 58:04Speaker 01

  Release it. And I was just breathing through it, and then I did the left side, and then I, whoever tell us about emotional detoxes? I ain't grew up knowing about that shit. I ain't know that everything that we go through traumatically, it, it harness itself somewhere in some type of muscle fascia, somewhere in the fascia. I ain't know that shit.

• 58:25Theo Von?

  Well, there's not a lot of guys talk, there's not a lot of guys, I don't feel like where you're from, talking about this stuff, man. What do you think's really took you?

• 58:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I felt like it was, I'm gonna be honest with you. I did prejudge it. I thought that was for pussies.

• 58:37Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, dude.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  When I first, when they first told me about yoga, I'm not, I'm not about to do that bitch ass shit.

• 58:42Theo Von?

  Especially in prison. I didn't even know they had different sports. I thought homosexuality was the only sport in prison.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  First thing I told them, I said, man, you going in, bend your ass over, I'm not about to do it.

• 58:51Theo Von?

  Yeah, fucking little zest.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Next thing I know, next thing I know, I was doing them warrior poses and all that shit.

• 58:57Theo Von?

  Hey, you ain't never.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  This shit ain't no joke.

• 59:00Theo Von?

  Yeah, you get in there with your little sugarcane in there. I ain't going in there. That's how I would think at first, you know? You get in there with your little spicy baby body.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Nah, you're only victim of what you entertain.

• 59:10Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, but that was, I was, did I, that's how I was. I was against everything.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I used to plex like that. I think in juvenile detention, because you hear so many fucked up stories about jail. When you go in there, they gonna try to fuck you.

• 59:22Theo Von?

  Yeah, they fucking people.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  And you think that's how it's going, so.

• 59:25Theo Von?

  Yeah, don't wear no cologne in there.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  When you go in there, the first, the first thing you do is plex. And what I mean by plex, you have a complex. You in defense, you in defense mode. But when you get there, you really see that prison is structured.

• 59:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  It's really off respect. It's ran off respect. Respect run the compound. Ain't nobody gonna pass by you and not say, excuse me.

• 59:45Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  It's different.

• 59:48Theo Von?

  Do you admire the, the level of respect that was in there in some ways?

• 59:53Speaker 01

  I give my respect first, but at the end of the day, I still demand it.

• 59:59Theo Von?

  Did you get treated special because you had celebrity in your life, you think?

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  I wasn't a celebrity at first.

• 1:00:04Theo Von?

  Got it.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Like juvenile detention through that circuit, I wasn't a celebrity.

• 1:00:08Theo Von?

  Was it scary to go back to prison? Like, damn, now they know me.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Juvenile facilities are more chaotic than adult facilities.

• 1:00:14Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, I could see that's more energy.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  They way more chaotic. So that's what the, the fighting and all that go on every day. In adult prison, it's structured. Then I ain't like that. It's laid back.

• 1:00:24Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:25Speaker 01

  That shit they be showing on TV, them Mickey Mouse counts.

• 1:00:28Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  That's not no.

• 1:00:30Theo Von?

  Right, it's not real shit.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  There's not no maximum security. There's not no none of that. Them Mickey Mouse counts.

• 1:00:34Theo Von?

  I used to wanna go.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  That's not like Louisiana. Like Louisiana prisons are the roughest prisons. From my perspective, because I done been around a little bit. I haven't been to prison in Canada, so.

• 1:00:47Theo Von?

  That sounds nice.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  So, man, they had the best food.

• 1:00:51Theo Von?

  Oh, man, Canada's great. I would go to prison in Canada.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  It was, it was different. Like, the way they respect you, that is to, like, the way the guards respect you, that is different. When you get to Louisiana, it's a whole nother story.

• 1:01:03Theo Von?

  Yeah. Always different. There's a different way that people communicate overall. Dude, I'll tell you this even, what I noticed about racial stuff in, in Canada when I was up there. I feel like sometimes in America, especially growing up in the South, there's there's not, there's, there's some tension between black and white, I feel like, but there's a lot of history, right?

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  Louisiana, Mississippi, our white boys different.

• 1:01:23Theo Von?

  Yeah, oh, for sure. But in Canada, if you, in Canada, there's no racial tension.

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  They not regular white boys in Mississippi, Louisiana.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  They built different.

• 1:01:33Theo Von?

  Well, some of them, some of them got they, some of them seem like, uh...

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  I got a partner right now, we was locked up. If you call him G. White,

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  you might as well just go on get rid of it. Just don't even call him, if you call, cause you know that'd be like, what up, G. White? You know, you say that to like, you know, he think he a nigga, you know, what up, G. White? Man, they got some white boy, they not going for that.

• 1:01:57Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  I'm not go, you not about to call me G. White, we could fight all, hey, all we could play with that knife. And that's how they come, and they built like that.

• 1:02:05Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's changed a little bit, huh?

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Nah, it ain't changed, it been like that.

• 1:02:09Theo Von?

  You think?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got real niggas and bitch niggas everywhere you go.

• 1:02:12Theo Von?

  God dang, I hope.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  It's like, it's, it's like...

• 1:02:15Theo Von?

  I'm glad to know that, I guess.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's, um, you only victim of what you entertain.

• 1:02:19Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  See, like, when you went to the sugarcane, baby, that conversation, I ain't even grin, cause I'm not in.

• 1:02:25Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  If you grin, you in.

• 1:02:27Theo Von?

  Oh dang.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  That was your conversation.

• 1:02:29Theo Von?

  I'm not, I'm not talking to me.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  Like, when you was like, yeah, I wanna be in there with my sugar baby in a yoga thing, I was like...

• 1:02:36Theo Von?

  I said there were men in there, I think there's creative men in there.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, that, that wasn't my conversation.

• 1:02:42Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  I'm a real vic, so that just went over my head, I ain't no new jack.

• 1:02:45Theo Von?

  Me too, bro, I ain't about that shit.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, so when you went, like, when somebody had them kinda conversations?

• 1:02:50Theo Von?

  I ain't having them.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that just go over my head.

• 1:02:53Theo Von?

  Me too.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  Cause if you grin, you in, you only victim of what you entertain.

• 1:02:57Theo Von?

  I'm chillin', I ain't smiling about nothing. I feel that.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Not like if you grin, you in, but if you entertain it.

• 1:03:04Theo Von?

  Right, oh, I see what you're saying.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  You open the door for that.

• 1:03:07Theo Von?

  Yeah, not me, I'm locking that up.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  And that, that's one thing I teach my son, like, sometime he'll see something on the internet, like a comment, I say, hey, you don't entertain that, you a man.

• 1:03:17Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  Never let nobody defeat you with words. You don't entertain it.

• 1:03:22Theo Von?

  How did you start to get to know yourself, right? Cause you talked about that, um...

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  Solitude.

• 1:03:27Theo Von?

  Really?

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Solitude.

• 1:03:30Theo Von?

  Cause you're one of the few people, you're one of the few kind of rappers I feel like that are that I've met or experienced or paid attention to that I know of. That talks about that kind of stuff, their relationship with themselves, right?

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Most of the things that we did, excuse me, I can't say we, I'm gonna say me, I'm gonna speak for me.

• 1:03:43Theo Von?

  Alright.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  Most of the things that I did in my life that people would consider heroic or violent. Uh, that I got stripes for, that was out of fear or seeking validation from somebody older than me.

• 1:03:58Theo Von?

  But how did you start to realize that that that that that's what was going on like that you? Like when you say so like solitary? Being by yourself.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  Being in solitude, spending time alone.

• 1:04:11Theo Von?

  So what was that practice? Did you have a practice that started? I mean, you said like a little bit of yoga. So that kind of opened up your idea to like doing something different. But what like what was, was there somebody who started to teach you these practices? Cause it's hard to get from just.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  When the student ready to learn, the teacher appear. Once you start walking this path. Like this path led me to doing this right now.

• 1:04:33Theo Von?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  Today. And when I leave here, I don't know who I'm gonna meet that may give me a tidbit of knowledge that's gonna prepare me for it. I don't know. And it just, you pick it up. The reward really is in the journey. So I just pick up little tidbits along the way.

• 1:04:49Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Or how you say it tidbits, my bad.

• 1:04:52Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  That's that Louisiana, that's that Louisiana, my tongue heavy.

• 1:04:55Theo Von?

  That tidbit, oh yeah.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  So I, I gotta, I talk lazy.

• 1:04:59Theo Von?

  Um, what, when you look on your life, what's like, what are some of the worst pain that you feel like you ever, ever been in?

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Physical, emotional.

• 1:05:07Theo Von?

  Emotional probably I would say or mental like.

• 1:05:11Theo Von?

  Cause I've heard you talk about trauma and overcoming past traumas. You don't hear a lot of people talk like that, you know? So like, I'm just like.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Recently, um, 2020, I was gonna kill myself.

• 1:05:23Theo Von?

  Damn.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  I had deleted my uh my Instagram for like a year and a half. I was gonna kill myself. Cause I I only felt appreciated for my ability to do. And then I was always looking at Instagram. And it was like I was comparison, I was comparing, and I spoke about this before, I was comparing my life to other people's life. And comparison really is the killer of our joy, and I didn't understand that until I started looking at my life like, damn, like, I'm seeing everybody highlight reel, but at the end of the day, I'm just me. But everybody else living so great, but that's just the highlights, that's not what they going through every day.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  And it took me getting off Instagram and getting off social media, period, to see that people really do love me and enjoy the world and start having gratitude. Like, think about the things you grateful for. Not what you don't have and not how shit not going, but think about all the good shit and just be thankful, like I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for that. And that's when things started to kind of change for me.

• 1:06:31Theo Von?

  A lot of people say that kind of stuff, but that's not a practice in their life, right? It's not like a real truth that they're living. I think that's one thing to me that's interesting about you, it feels like that's really how you have chosen to live your life. What were like practices?

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  I don't have, I'm be honest, every day not gonna be a good day.

• 1:06:47Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  For me, but I'm still gonna go to the gym.

• 1:06:50Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  Cause that is my therapy. And I kind of trained myself to know that whenever I have like a fucked up feeling, like the days that I I don't even wanna go, them the days that I had the best workouts. I then kind of start playing a game with myself. I know when certain people start texting me and it's low vibrational people, something good must be about to happen. There's gotta be a text, something good about to happen. And I just start training myself to look at it like that, and that's really how it be going now.

• 1:07:17Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, alternate that, like they're taking the opposite choice, making the opposite choice. Cause everything is side use, like take it, take off today, take it easy, don't do nothing.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  I swear to God.

• 1:07:26Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  Like, I went jogged and everything before I came here.

• 1:07:29Theo Von?

  Amen. I heard you talk about before about like a lot of men, you know, feel like are living their truth, right?

• 1:07:35Speaker 01

  They not.

• 1:07:37Theo Von?

  I feel like we're in a tough spot like um with like love and the value, the moral value of relationships and stuff like that.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  You're not like, ain't nobody, ain't nobody really loving people no more. I, I think. I'm the only person right now that's like really living in.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  My authenticity. I'm talking about as far as like on the main stage, like people say what's politically correct and. I don't give a fuck what nobody think about me, cuz if everybody like me, then I'm pussy. You know what I'm saying? I'm just, I wanna be liked by everybody. He who is a friend to everyone is a friend to no one.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  I'm not a good, I'm not friendly, but I'm a great friend.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  And that's just my perspective on it, like. It's a lot of people that won't allow themselves to love somebody based on their past situations or the bumps and mistakes that they made. And for fear of how the rest of the world will look at them.

• 1:08:36Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  I don't care how the world look at me. Don't care. I'm living life all out.

• 1:08:44Theo Von?

  Damn dude. Really, really. Dude, I, I'll tell you this, Kevin. I, yeah, I've had, I remember times in my life, I was like. Man, I wouldn't date a certain girl cuz of what my friends would think of her, bro. And then I, I spent like a couple of years like that one time.

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  I had that problem, but.

• 1:09:00Theo Von?

  But then I, I missed out on a good opportunity too.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  Once I start fucking, uh, man, listen, once I start fucking with this little chick. Everybody told me, don't fuck with her. She ended up being, and still to this day, we still good friends. She is one of the most solid people I ever met. And this back from. When I was still on the block, she, and we still cool. She doing good for herself now. She in the real estate and shit now, but. This from back when I was on the block with it.

• 1:09:26Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  She was dancing. She used to dance. Everybody, man, don't mess with her. She a stripper. She. And she ended up being one of the most solid people. And that is when I realized it's the people that the world say the most fucked up shit about be the best people. And the people everybody prays and be like, yeah, this person, he's such a great guy. They really be barbaric behind closed doors. They don't have no morals. They don't have no principles. They don't stand for nothing. So I just noticed like some of your better people be the people that everybody don't like.

• 1:09:56Theo Von?

  Well, I think it's tough for people.

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  You kinda, one of them people like. When I say authentic, like you pretty much do your own shit.

• 1:10:06Speaker 01

  You one of them people? To me, to me, like you live in your authenticity. A lot of people be like, the stuff that you say, a lot of people wouldn't say it for fear of how it would be perceived. You just said and I'm like,

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  I fuck with that. I can't help but to fuck with it like.

• 1:10:24Theo Von?

  That's a good point, right?

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  You just real people.

• 1:10:26Theo Von?

  Thanks for the compliment, man. Yeah, I try my best. I think the tough part is.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  It was the truth. Like, it was the truth.

• 1:10:34Theo Von?

  Right. I think the tough part, uh, it's just,

• 1:10:40Theo Von?

  I'm just always still trying to figure out who I am and I'm amazed at new things that come along.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  Most people want to admit that, like, one of my albums that's about to come out is called Don't Know What I'm Doing, because I don't know what I'm doing. Most people want to admit that they don't know what they're doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still discovering new parts of myself every day. I don't know. People be asking me, so what you gonna do today? I don't know.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  I haven't figured it out yet.

• 1:11:08Theo Von?

  Uh, how do you keep your ego? Because this is something I've noticed in my life, right? Like, my ego. What do I do? How do I figure out what is my ego and what is, uh, self-confidence and self-worth? Like, do you know what I'm talking about? Your ego can slip in.

• 1:11:23Speaker 01

  To be honest, 2025, some people could say that I'm operating out of ego, but I'm not giving to nobody but me.

• 1:11:34Speaker 01

  Like, I'm not, I've given everything I had to give and now everybody else can just figure it out.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  And as, and we could say that's ego, that's cool, but when I go to the gym, I don't ego lift.

• 1:11:47Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  I don't lift the heaviest weights in there. I do what's comfortable for me. I work at my own pace. Hey, you know, what, what I eat doesn't make you shit and what you eat doesn't make me shit. So if you want to go in there and be the world's strongest person, you know, good luck, buddy.

• 1:12:04Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:06Speaker 01

  Great for you. It works for me. And I, I always make sure, am I getting what I came for? I just wanna get what I came for.

• 1:12:16Theo Von?

  Like, what do you mean by that?

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Like, when I go to the gym, I don't get sidetracked and hoesializing.

• 1:12:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  What I mean by hoesializing is, I knew I had this interview today. And I already made the commitment, so I'm gonna honor that commitment. So when I went, I'm just giving you an illustration.

• 1:12:34Theo Von?

  For sure.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  Or example. So when I went to the gym today, I went in there to get what I came for. I ain't coming here to be friendly, I ain't coming here to hoesialize. And what I mean by hoesializing, you know, you aren't compared by y'all over there hoesializing, huh?

• 1:12:45Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:46Speaker 01

  Hoesializing. Yeah, y'all over there hoesializing. You lying to him and he lying to you, y'all lying to each other.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  I ain't coming here to hoesialize.

• 1:12:56Theo Von?

  Yeah, man, I think having parameters for yourself and boundaries for what your goals are. That, that's I think.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  And had I not did what I needed to do to raise my frequency, me going to the gym today was committing to act of self-love, I wouldn't have been able to do this.

• 1:13:12Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  I feel great now.

• 1:13:14Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, and you're.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  Feel amazing.

• 1:13:17Theo Von?

  Yeah, your energy comes in and, yeah, it's funny, cause you come in, I feel like, damn, I gotta, I wanna be on a level.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  Well, you came in, when I saw Jesse, and every time I see Jesse, I'm, Jesse is a friend. And he's always been a good friend of mine. Lately, something changed. If you're watching this, Jesse, shout out to you, Jesse.

• 1:13:38Speaker 01

  He was like, every time I see him.

• 1:13:40Theo Von?

  He's locking with those eyes.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  He was like, every time he sees me, he talks, makes a song about stealing my fucking girl. And that's just a joke that we got. Every time I see you.

• 1:13:51Theo Von?

  Good to see you, Jesse, bro.

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, Jesse, if you're watching this.

• 1:13:56Theo Von?

  He's watching, man.

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  If you're watching, Jesse, this one's for you, brother.

• 1:13:59Theo Von?

  It's for you, buddy. It's for you, buddy. Um, did you have self-hatred and stuff? Did you deal with that?

• 1:14:05Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:14:06Theo Von?

  How'd you know you had it?

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  My actions. You know who told me, who kinda started the conversation? I was talking to Plas one day.

• 1:14:17Theo Von?

  Really?

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it may not seem like it, but that's a real intelligent dude. So he was like, man, Gaze, that's something I be noticing, bro. He said, Gaze, man, you be acting like a ugly nigga, man. I said, what you mean? You just be, you be moving around like a ugly nigga, man, and you not no ugly nigga. You handsome, but I'm just saying, you be like a ugly nigga. And I'd be like, what you mean? Man, you about to ask him, say, here they with you, can't nobody be just touching you. And then we were sitting down at the table and a lady was trying to tell me, she said, hold on, I'm delicate. I ain't know what he meant, but he was talking about setting those energetic boundaries for yourself, like, everybody not supposed to have access to you, cause it's taxing on your spirit, it's draining.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  It's draining. Certain phone calls is draining.

• 1:15:07Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 1:15:07Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 1:15:09Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:09Speaker 01

  What's going on? They about to tell you some bullshit, some bad news, I don't wanna hear that shit.

• 1:15:14Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  Maybe that's my ego. You, you act like you don't care. I don't. It's not that I don't give a fuck. I could just give a fuck less.

• 1:15:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  I care about me.

• 1:15:26Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:15:27Speaker 01

  Fuck that. I don't wanna hear that shit.

• 1:15:30Theo Von?

  Damn. Yeah, it's so true, man.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Cause a person that don't.

• 1:15:33Theo Von?

  You'll take it on.

• 1:15:34Speaker 01

  A person that don't, you, you not doing the work every day.

• 1:15:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  So it's like,

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  I'm doing the work every day. So a person that's not doing the work every day, it's really nothing you could tell me, cause I'm doing the work every day. Like, I go weeks sometime without eating, when I'm fasting, when I need clarity, I just stop eating. Um, three days in, no food, you wouldn't even go three hours.

• 1:15:57Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  I'm hungry, I have a headache. That's your body detoxing. So I don't even listen to people like that.

• 1:16:04Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Don't care.

• 1:16:07Theo Von?

  People get all fattened out or whatever they cook, yeah, people just wasting your time.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  Food could be used as a drug sometimes. Sometime food could be used as a coping mechanism, cause I used to use food as a coping mechanism. Sometime I overeat, or sometime I wouldn't eat.

• 1:16:23Theo Von?

  What would your snack be if you had a destined, like a evening snack, nighttime snack? Goodnight Kevin or whatever snack?

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  Now or then?

• 1:16:31Theo Von?

  Back then.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  I used to drink a lot of syrup.

• 1:16:34Theo Von?

  Straight syrup?

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  No, I used to mix it with like. The pineapple, uh, the pineapple sun kiss. That's when activist was out. I used it like the cough syrup. I used to mix it with pineapple, sun kiss, Sprite and Mountain Dew. Them was my favorites.

• 1:16:50Theo Von?

  Damn, and some syrup?

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:52Theo Von?

  What kind of low cabin light or whatever?

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  Uh-uh. And then I used to have to eat. What was my thing, my favorite thing to eat? I liked the them little crust, the Uncrustables, the little peanut butter and jelly. I liked the them. And what else I used to eat?

• 1:17:11Speaker 01

  Something else I used to eat all the time.

• 1:17:15Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:17:16Theo Von?

  Doritos maybe or something?

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  I don't know if it was chicken wings. It was something. I forgot. It was something I used to eat all the time. I forgot. It was, I know it was unhealthy, whatever it was.

• 1:17:28Theo Von?

  But you're talking about drugs?

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I used to do drugs.

• 1:17:30Theo Von?

  Codeine syrup?

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:31Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:17:31Speaker 01

  Codeine.

• 1:17:31Theo Von?

  I didn't know what you were talking about at first.

• 1:17:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:33Theo Von?

  Wow, and you were addicted to it?

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  I ain't gonna say addicted, but.

• 1:17:37Theo Von?

  You enjoyed?

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  I didn't like it. I loved it.

• 1:17:39Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I loved it.

• 1:17:43Theo Von?

  It's, but now.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  I never went to rehab either.

• 1:17:45Theo Von?

  You didn't?

• 1:17:48Speaker 01

  Rehab's for quitters. I'm not trying to quit.

• 1:17:51Theo Von?

  How, but you don't do that anymore, though?

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  Cause I found a new drug. Fitness.

• 1:17:57Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  My new drug of choice.

• 1:17:59Theo Von?

  Do you notice though, are you able to notice a different feeling of how much different you feel making those?

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  I miss.

• 1:18:05Theo Von?

  Choices?

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  I, yes, I'm gonna be honest, and I hate to say what I'm about to say. When people be like, I miss the old Kevin. I get it. Cause I miss the old Eminem when he was on drugs.

• 1:18:18Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:18Speaker 01

  That's the Eminem I like.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  That's the Eminem I like. I like the Eminem that was on drugs.

• 1:18:24Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  So I know what people mean when they, man, I miss the old Kevin. I'm like, I get it. I, I get it.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  Because you know, I miss him too.

• 1:18:34Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  I do, but I'm not about to sacrifice the way I feel for that. Like, I love where I'm at now.

• 1:18:42Theo Von?

  Well, I think that's a trap too, is to stay where you are. You know, it's a trap.

• 1:18:46Speaker 01

  Man, you can grow with me, or you can grow without me. But either way, it's on with the number with me. But I do get it though, when people say, man, I miss the old Kevin. Because I miss the old Eminem. I do. I miss the old Eminem. I swear to God, I do.

• 1:19:00Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, I believe that. I missed her, there's times in my own life that I missed. There's times in my own life where I felt like I was funnier, or like, had better ideas and stuff, but things just changed and sometimes it's different.

• 1:19:10Speaker 01

  Nah, I like, I like where I'm at now.

• 1:19:12Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  This, I like where I'm at now. Man, I'm a motherfucking supermodel, man. I love where I'm at now. This shit different now. I used to couldn't even do the wheel, the air wheel, now I do that shit effortless.

• 1:19:24Theo Von?

  Really?

• 1:19:24Speaker 01

  I go jogging in the morning effortless. It's just automatic. When I stretch, it's effortless.

• 1:19:31Speaker 01

  When I fuck my bitch, it's just effortless.

• 1:19:33Theo Von?

  Wow.

• 1:19:34Speaker 01

  And I, I just, I do everything better. And I hate to say what I just said, but it's the God honest truth. I just, I wouldn't change this for the world. It was time to drink, it's certain, my dick wouldn't even get hard.

• 1:19:44Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  And not to get off on no sexually related type, but I had erectile dysfunction at twenty, what? Twenty-three, twenty-four years old. Because of all the drugs I was doing, so. I'm okay.

• 1:19:56Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 1:19:57Speaker 01

  I would never trade that for this. I love where I'm at now. I can sing better. Like, my singing voice has matured now, because I'm not on drugs. So, I, I love where I'm at now. The music that I make is, I make music that I can work out in the gym too now. So, I, you know, not other, I get it though. I get it, I understand.

• 1:20:18Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  But I don't care. But I understand.

• 1:20:22Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:24Speaker 01

  I miss the old Gates, yeah.

• 1:20:26Theo Von?

  Oh, dude, yeah, I think that's. But I think the new Gates is really prophetic.

• 1:20:34Theo Von?

  I think the new gates says some things that are really

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  Man, Theo, bruh, say, bruh, I love you, bruh, you scaring me right now.

• 1:20:41Theo Von?

  I am?

• 1:20:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:42Theo Von?

  Sorry.

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  I don't wanna be a prophet.

• 1:20:46Theo Von?

  Okay, I won't.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  That's scary, like.

• 1:20:49Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  Scary when you say shit like that, like, you know, you, that's crazy, like, you the first person that I ever sat in front of that said that to me, like, thank you, I love you for being able to see me. But that's, that's scary.

• 1:21:07Theo Von?

  Yeah, maybe that's unnecessary kind of like.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  And I don't mean, I don't mean it like that, it's, it's somebody else that's, when they see this, they gonna be like, see, I told you. Cause there's some people that argue with me, like, I told you you was a prophet, I'm like, but prophets are perfect. I'm, I'm, I'm not perfect.

• 1:21:22Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think that.

• 1:21:25Speaker 01

  I wouldn't have made it in the book, I, I, it's a good thing I wasn't around Jesus, I'd have made us look bad.

• 1:21:32Theo Von?

  Yeah, instead of a disciple, you didn't need a disciple.

• 1:21:34Speaker 01

  I'd have made us look bad, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:21:37Theo Von?

  In general, most, let's get prophets ready, in general, most religious traditions do not consider prophets to be perfect in the sense of being entirely free from error or sin, while they're often revered for the divine connection and ability to convey God's message, that's still a lot of pressure. I just like, man, I like the new bars you have just as much as the old bars, man, that's what I like.

• 1:21:55Speaker 01

  Hey, at least somebody cares.

• 1:21:57Theo Von?

  That's what I like, dude.

• 1:21:58Speaker 01

  At least somebody cares.

• 1:22:00Theo Von?

  Um.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  He's, but it's just, isn't, and it's not to say that, that you wrong for saying it, it's just a few people in my camp and my circle, they be like, you know, you're a prophet, right? And I'm like, no, I don't wanna be that.

• 1:22:12Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:13Speaker 01

  And I guess it's me shying away from the responsibility of it.

• 1:22:16Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 1:22:16Speaker 01

  I don't want their responsibility. If I said something and it helped, take it for what it's worth, I made a bunch of mistakes to, to get, whatever knowledge and wisdom I gave you, I made a bunch of mistakes to get to that point.

• 1:22:29Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:31Theo Von?

  Did, um, how do you be a parent that was different than how you was parented?

• 1:22:38Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:22:39Theo Von?

  Cause that's one of the most important things.

• 1:22:40Speaker 01

  We could go anywhere.

• 1:22:41Theo Von?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:22:42Speaker 01

  We could go anywhere, like, because the truth hurts but it heals. So we could go, we could have any kind of conversation. What makes me a better parent is I was sexually victimized and I didn't have a safe place to communicate.

• 1:22:58Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  I created a space for my children to communicate with me. So they say when you work on yourself, you heal seven generations backwards and seven generations forward. And damn, I hate to say this, but.

• 1:23:13Speaker 01

  Somebody before me, they was sexually victimized also. So it was like something that kind of ran in the family.

• 1:23:21Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, like a learned behavior or okay, yeah.

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  It was, it was like they had went through the same thing. And. By me creating that space for my children to be able to communicate with me, don't nobody never touch you, that and I like. You know, you always talk to me. I don't judge my children, long as you tell me the truth, I'm never gonna be upset with you, no matter what it is. I'm here to help you figure it out.

• 1:23:43Theo Von?

  Hmm.

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  You know, that's me. So anyway, I broke those generational curses or gen- excuse me, generational traumas, let's say that. They not generational curse, generational traumas.

• 1:23:54Theo Von?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  So I broke that. And the reason I don't really speak on it, like, because it was, um.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  My family's still kind of healing from that situation.

• 1:24:05Theo Von?

  That's understood.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  Like me and my mother, we, we got a beautiful relationship now. Like it's super beautiful, but it was a strange for a while.

• 1:24:12Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  Because I wasn't able to communicate. So now it's beautiful because we communicate and me going back and forgiving my mother and forgiving myself and things of that nature. You gotta realize they didn't know what they was doing. Nobody handed them a pamphlet and said, this is how you rear children.

• 1:24:33Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:33Speaker 01

  So when they hear shocking news like that, the first thing they do, oh, panic. They don't think to act, but me, I think to act. I don't think to just say, oh, God, oh, what, that's not how you stop bullying. Fighting solves everything. I teach my children that fighting sauce is everything. Like, I tell my son, like, if you go to school, and if somebody say something to you, don't worry about that. But if somebody put their hands on you, you punch them right in their nose, and you don't stop. You keep going. When I come to the school, I'm gonna be like, I can't believe you did all this bitch ass shit. I swear to God, I'm gonna kill your motherfucker. I'm gonna do all, I'm gonna make it look good when I get there. Then after that, I'm gonna take you and buy you every toy in the store. Because fighting sauce is everything.

• 1:25:18Theo Von?

  You gotta, yeah, you gotta.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  We don't, hey, we don't, what's that coach? At, at Texas A and M, what'd he say? We don't, we don't raise no pussies. I forgot that coach.

• 1:25:28Theo Von?

  The football guy?

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. He said, we don't raise no pussies.

• 1:25:32Theo Von?

  He died, didn't he?

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  I forgot the coach name. I just seen that shit.

• 1:25:35Theo Von?

  Woody Allen, yeah, Michael Leach.

• 1:25:37Speaker 01

  He was like, we don't raise no pussies.

• 1:25:38Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:39Speaker 01

  But that's just, that's just one of my biggest things when I could say the, the way I parent is different. I don't parent like that. I parent different.

• 1:25:49Theo Von?

  Like, were you, like, uh?

• 1:25:50Speaker 01

  I parent like Coach Knight.

• 1:25:52Theo Von?

  Yeah?

• 1:25:53Speaker 01

  But, yeah, I parent like Coach Knight.

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  I parent like a coach.

• 1:26:00Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:26:01Speaker 01

  My grandfather was like a coach, like that tough love. That's how I parent.

• 1:26:07Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think people don't realize, like, how they look at their children too is important. If you always look at your child with, like, will you go do that, or this is wrong, or something, then they, that's, they feel like something is always wrong, right? Like, the look you put into your child's eyes, like, your, your child is kind of like a cup, and you're like a pitcher.

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  It is accountability going on, like, they have to make their beds, they have to go to school, they have to do these things, and if not, then you can't play the game.

• 1:26:30Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  You're gonna have to take accountability. Like, my son and my daughter know. And my daughter,

• 1:26:34Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  she not even thirteen yet. She came to me and told me, Daddy, is there anything I could, uh? Help do around the house to make your life more easier. Like, one of her chores is you keep the kitchen clean. Still gotta make your bed, still gotta go to school, but you keep the kitchen clean. My son, you gotta make your bed, still gotta go to school, but you make sure the trash put out. And I just give him little jobs.

• 1:26:54Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:55Speaker 01

  And then you earn, what you, you earn your wages.

• 1:26:58Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:59Speaker 01

  I pay him, I pay him two fifty a week.

• 1:27:02Theo Von?

  Do you really, two hundred and fifty dollars? Yeah, damn, bruh.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  I pay him two fifty a week. You want Robux, you want that, you know, you gotta, I pay him.

• 1:27:12Theo Von?

  Wow. Damn, they could have a.

• 1:27:14Speaker 01

  But they work.

• 1:27:15Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. They could have a Chevy sedan by September. That's a good amount of money.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, my daughter, she like into the furry costumes. They be dressing up like, don't kill me, because I don't wanna say, she real defensive about this. No, dad, it's not, that's what it's called, it's called this, I don't know the name of it, but they, they dress up like animals in. I did it one time with her.

• 1:27:38Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:27:38Speaker 01

  And that was my way of like going into her world. And she was like, I wanna post the video that me and you did on TikTok, but I'm scared people are gonna hate on it. I said, promise me you're gonna do one thing. She said, what? I heard Floyd Mayweather say this, say, no matter what you do, if you do something good, if you do something bad, if you do something for yourself or you do something for other people, people gonna always have something to say about you. So just promise me that you're gonna make yourself happy. Oh, yeah, that's me right there.

• 1:28:06Theo Von?

  Which one?

• 1:28:06Speaker 01

  I'm about to come in on the furry. Yeah, that's me right there, look.

• 1:28:08Theo Von?

  Oh, Kevin, yeah, that's beautiful, man. Ooh. Ooh, wow. And what animal is that, a, a?

• 1:28:17Speaker 01

  I don't know what I was. I think I was like a little, a little wolf or something.

• 1:28:20Theo Von?

  Yeah, that's a damn little Cajun wolf.

• 1:28:22Speaker 01

  And then, so she, she was, she was afraid to post it, but then once she posted it, the shit went viral. Like, cause she was already lit in the furry community.

• 1:28:32Theo Von?

  Oh, I see what you're saying.

• 1:28:33Speaker 01

  I hope I'm saying it right easily, if you watching me, don't.

• 1:28:36Theo Von?

  Yeah, young lady, we're just trying to.

• 1:28:38Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 1:28:38Theo Von?

  Your father just honoring what you guys got going on there.

• 1:28:41Speaker 01

  But that was my way of going into her world.

• 1:28:43Theo Von?

  Right. And saying, look, I'm proud of what I do. I spend time with my daughter. Yeah.

• 1:28:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, like.

• 1:28:48Theo Von?

  It's important.

• 1:28:49Speaker 01

  I'm proud of them, like, just telling them you love them every day, hugging on them and letting them know, I'm proud of you.

• 1:28:54Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:28:55Speaker 01

  Like, that reassurance.

• 1:28:57Theo Von?

  Oh, dude.

• 1:28:58Speaker 01

  They not afraid to make me mad. You know what they afraid to do? Disappoint me. The same way I'm afraid to disappoint God, they afraid to disappoint me.

• 1:29:08Theo Von?

  Yeah, that relationship is just so important, man. It's so important, you know, like, yeah, I remember, ah. I was just, I was so angry as a kid, man. Um, I wish I'd had that relationship.

• 1:29:21Speaker 01

  I used to get angry, like, if I see somebody spending time with their father playing basketball, I'd be like, bitch ass.

• 1:29:26Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:27Speaker 01

  Cause I wanted it, but now I am that.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  And then I can't be upset with my real father, cause we had some beautiful times together.

• 1:29:36Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  We had some beautiful times together. The times we had.

• 1:29:40Theo Von?

  Yeah. What was a special time? My mom, I remember one time, so my mom delivered like newspapers and stuff, you know, so. One time, I think I got sick as, I couldn't go to school, but she had to work, and so I got to go on her route with her. And she would go, uh, and then we took a ride, we went out to, over by Pick U N. And we went, they had a Wendy's over there, and we got a Wendy's sandwich over there. And it was like the only time I ever remember doing something, just me and my mom. But I remembered us, everything about it, how I was sitting, what we were doing, just, we had like a nice day together, you know? And, but I had to get sick at school to even just, cause my mom always had to work, so. I'm not like whining about it, it's just like, but I remember that, it was important to me, you know?

• 1:30:25Speaker 01

  As we get older, sometime it let us know that. The act of love that they had coming from where we come from was them sacrificing time with us. To make sure that we had food on the table. Is, looking at it in hindsight.

• 1:30:43Theo Von?

  That's a good point.

• 1:30:43Speaker 01

  Make me like, damn, like, I appreciate you more, like, even my children understand, like, in October, I'm going on tour. I love y'all, but I got to go do this. But I love y'all.

• 1:30:54Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:30:54Speaker 01

  So I spend as much time as I can with y'all, but also, I gotta go do this in October, but I love y'all.

• 1:31:01Theo Von?

  Yeah, for me to, to have a new perspective instead of, man, I bet my mom didn't want to leave me to go to work. Instead, I'm thinking.

• 1:31:07Speaker 01

  What parent does.

• 1:31:08Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  Nobody leaves earth saying, hey, I should've, wish I could've spent more time throwing the papers out, delivering the papers. Everybody leave, even the most, the richest businessman on, men on earth, they leave and say, I wish I could've spent more time with my family.

• 1:31:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:24Speaker 01

  But it's beautiful, cause it's about balance, and I don't beat myself up for the time that I'm not there. I understand that they understand. Cause I talk to them.

• 1:31:33Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:33Speaker 01

  I don't baby talk. I talk to them regular.

• 1:31:36Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think that's the biggest thing is communicating what's going on probably, you know.

• 1:31:41Theo Von?

  What uh, yeah, what's what's different about your tour this time? How do you feel about it? Like, do you notice that that changes for you as you grow up?

• 1:31:48Speaker 01

  What's different about my tour this time?

• 1:31:50Theo Von?

  Cause in October it starts, yeah.

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  Me.

• 1:31:54Speaker 01

  Me.

• 1:31:55Theo Von?

  It's just another thing.

• 1:31:55Speaker 01

  I'm different. I'm not the same person I was last year. I'm better.

• 1:32:00Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:32:01Speaker 01

  Way better. And

• 1:32:06Speaker 01

  man, I could go down the list, but I could say one of the biggest things.

• 1:32:12Speaker 01

  I started giving myself grace. I don't beat myself up no more.

• 1:32:17Speaker 01

  I used to beat myself up.

• 1:32:18Theo Von?

  Yeah. What would you say, like in your head, what would that be like, you think?

• 1:32:23Speaker 01

  You, I beat myself up. I, the way I would beat myself up is I would replay something I did and it'd bring shame till I almost cringe when I think about it like.

• 1:32:35Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:36Speaker 01

  Like, no, man. Players, like, I tell myself, like, I, well, excuse me, you probably don't know this. I talk to myself.

• 1:32:43Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:32:44Speaker 01

  All geniuses talk to theyself. And ever since I read that, it kinda gave me the green light to start talking to myself more. But if I do something, I'd be like, players fuck up too.

• 1:32:56Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:32:56Speaker 01

  Players fuck up too.

• 1:32:57Theo Von?

  Players do fuck up.

• 1:32:59Speaker 01

  Players fuck up too. And I always tell myself, I'm like, players fuck up too. Learn from your mistakes, don't make them no more. And I talk to myself, I used to be hard on myself, like, like a coach, like, hey bitch.

• 1:33:10Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:11Speaker 01

  But I still, I'm still like a coach in the gym.

• 1:33:13Theo Von?

  Get in there bitch.

• 1:33:14Speaker 01

  I'd be like, ay, ay, ay, the weights ain't gonna push theyself.

• 1:33:18Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:18Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? You got enough strength to do that, but you ain't got enough strength to lift a cup and get up and go to the gym. You know what I'm saying? So it's just, I'm, I'm.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  I'm more like. Motivational toward myself with that. But if I, if it's a, cause you know, you have moments that might come up from the past and it might just come up in your, in your mental inventory and then when it come up, instead of running from it.

• 1:33:44Theo Von?

  All the time I go like that.

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  Instead of, yeah, I do that all the time. And then you know what I start doing? I sit with it, man, play the fuck up too. That shit ain't nothing. You the only one remember that, Kevin. Don't nobody else even remember that shit.

• 1:33:57Theo Von?

  That's crazy.

• 1:33:58Speaker 01

  Don't nobody remember that shit?

• 1:33:59Theo Von?

  The only thing keeping that feat, that, that messed up moment alive is you.

• 1:34:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm giving energy to that bullshit, man. Play us fuck up too, man. I'm fly.

• 1:34:07Theo Von?

  Play us fuck up too.

• 1:34:08Speaker 01

  Play us fuck up too, man. I might walk out of here and trip, but I'm gonna make, hey, it's gonna be a fly, when I trip, I might, do a lit dance move or something. It's gonna be a fly trip when I trip.

• 1:34:18Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 1:34:18Speaker 01

  Ain't nobody trip better than me.

• 1:34:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, man, that's a really beautiful little trip.

• 1:34:23Speaker 01

  Play us fuck up too.

• 1:34:24Theo Von?

  Dude, if I see you trip, I'm be like, man, play us, ay, that's graceful, bro, play us.

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  I'ma laugh at myself.

• 1:34:30Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:31Speaker 01

  I don't care who see me making mistakes. I've been on stage sometime, make a mistake. Hey, excuse me, I just made a mistake. Hey, the beautiful thing about mistakes is, it's okay for people to see you make a mistake. Just don't never let a motherfucker see you quick.

• 1:34:44Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 1:34:44Speaker 01

  You gonna watch me make mistakes, but you ain't gonna never watch me quit. I still, like I tell people, I still don't get tired.

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  I've been up since three thirty.

• 1:34:55Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, I've heard that in your song too.

• 1:34:56Speaker 01

  I still don't get tired. I've been up since like three thirty this morning.

• 1:35:00Theo Von?

  Dang, bro. I'm fucking fired up all of a sudden.

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, energy only translate to more energy.

• 1:35:07Theo Von?

  Is that true?

• 1:35:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, energy translate to more energy. Now, once I go eat my meal, supposed to be having, supposed to be having, uh, twenty million, supposed to be having dinner tonight.

• 1:35:18Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 1:35:18Speaker 01

  That's why I have on this suit.

• 1:35:19Theo Von?

  Okay, it's nice, yeah.

• 1:35:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm supposed to be having dinner, but, uh.

• 1:35:26Speaker 01

  To me. But anyway, but uh.

• 1:35:30Theo Von?

  You got a date for dinner or no?

• 1:35:31Speaker 01

  I'm supposed to be having dinner, but after I get, after I eat that meal, kind of get some good rest.

• 1:35:36Theo Von?

  Oh, I love that. I love getting a good rest. Do you have, um, I want to ask you a couple more things before you go. You, you have a, you are religious man?

• 1:35:47Speaker 01

  Hmm, religious smidges.

• 1:35:50Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:51Speaker 01

  Religious smidges. But yeah, I guess.

• 1:35:55Theo Von?

  Or do you feel like a, because people say that you're Muslim man?

• 1:35:58Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be honest, I'm spiritual.

• 1:36:00Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:36:01Speaker 01

  I'm spiritual, but like, the word Muslim in Arabic, it only means believer.

• 1:36:06Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:36:07Speaker 01

  So I'm a believer, but I'm very spiritual.

• 1:36:10Theo Von?

  Got it.

• 1:36:10Speaker 01

  Like, I believe spirituality is if I walk in a room and something don't feel right, and I leave, something bad happened, I believe I was guided by God to leave. I done been in a club in New York, I'm like, come on, let's go. We go outside, soon as we go outside, a fight break out. Somebody get shot. But I just felt like it was time to go. And I just always been like that.

• 1:36:37Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huul. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huul shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 1:37:20Theo Von?

  Sometimes it may, I just, I would just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huul, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at Huel.com/Weekend. That's H U E L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show. Why do you think it's so hard for us to step into what we really believe we want? Cause when I hear you say that, that's what it hits me as.

• 1:38:00Speaker 01

  I've been saying that though. I say it in my song. I say when Allah said, "My new wife will pray to God and I'mma keep her sacred." I say that in the song, so I manifested this. I didn't know it was gonna be her.

• 1:38:11Theo Von?

  But as men, why do you think it's so hard for a lot of men to just? Yeah, it's like, man, I'm just so tired of everything that's not mean something.

• 1:38:20Speaker 01

  Cause it don't give, you don't get fulfillment. I done had more hoes than clothes. I never got no fulfillment from having a bunch of different women. That shit is stressful. It's vexing to my spirit. It don't give me no fulfillment. A lot of men ain't gonna say that. And then I've been on a semen retention journey for the last, what? Maybe five years, I talked about like retaining the life force, retaining the semen, not watching porn, not jacking off, taking that sexual energy and transmuting it into something else. So if I have a craving to go jack off or I'm horny or whatever you wanna call it, I go to the gym or I go to the studio, I transmute that energy into something else. And.

• 1:39:01Theo Von?

  And most people that's out here jacking off.

• 1:39:03Speaker 01

  And you realize though, when you see dude with a lot of women, but them dude be stressed out. Like, you know what I'm saying? As a man, you gonna see shit that you gonna, you gonna look, but at the same time, you ain't gonna help me on my mission. You gonna take away. You ain't gonna add value to me, you gonna take from me. You know, behind closed doors, do you speak life into me? Do you help me become greater? Are you helping me become greater? Like, it don't really be that. And if you are helping me become greater, are you helping me become greater for me? Or are you helping me become greater for you? Are you manipulating me? Are you verbally abusive to me behind closed doors? You know what I'm saying? Like, are you using my flaws against me?

• 1:39:45Speaker 01

  You know, there's a lot of women that'll do that too. And no, excuse me. I can't say women. It's a lot of people that'll do that.

• 1:39:51Theo Von?

  Oh, for sure.

• 1:39:52Speaker 01

  Cause I done had men do that too, like bring up stuff from the past and try to hold it against me. To keep you within whatever kind of energetic construct that they have for you. Because they need your energy. There, everybody's life is great, but we suffer. So, that's why I'm at with it right now, like.

• 1:40:12Theo Von?

  Yeah, that seems to be something that's kind of vexing our, our, our community.

• 1:40:14Speaker 01

  I wasn't even gonna talk about this, but shit, you the one, you got it all, bitch.

• 1:40:20Theo Von?

  Oh, I wasn't even trying to get anything. I'm just trying to survive.

• 1:40:22Speaker 01

  No, but it's like, this gonna be healing for somebody.

• 1:40:25Theo Von?

  Oh, it's healing for me. That's why I'm curious about it. It's like, cause I'm sick of like, you know, in my life, but also I'm the one keeping me there. That's the crazy thing. It's like, I have the ability to change things and I do a good job.

• 1:40:35Speaker 01

  I say in my song, I'm only excited about spiritual things and I swear I can't wait to move on.

• 1:40:43Speaker 01

  I'm only excited about spiritual things.

• 1:40:45Theo Von?

  Yeah, I think I'm just amazed sometimes that, uh... I don't know, but I'm also, you know, I got a late start sometimes.

• 1:40:52Speaker 01

  Man.

• 1:40:52Theo Von?

  I got a late start.

• 1:40:53Speaker 01

  I'm thirty-nine. I just look, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:40:57Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, I thought you was...

• 1:40:58Speaker 01

  I'm thirty-nine though. So, I feel like it's never too late.

• 1:41:01Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:03Speaker 01

  It's never too late. But when you said that about all the women, that shit was draining.

• 1:41:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, well, just, I have so many of my friends, like, I'm going on this date, I don't care. Just like, well, what are we doing? And then you have people, it's like you're giving yourself away to people. And I'm not accusing anybody. That's what I'm talking about myself and my own life. And then it's just...

• 1:41:22Speaker 01

  Tell me about it.

• 1:41:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:24Speaker 01

  Tell me about it.

• 1:41:25Theo Von?

  And it's like, what kind of journey am I making? What am I really buil- building here?

• 1:41:28Speaker 01

  And then in another word, once I start operating and looking for reciprocation, it shouldn't cost anything.

• 1:41:36Speaker 01

  If I fuck with you, it shouldn't cost anything. If you fuck with me, it shouldn't cost us anything. It should be reciprocated. The energy that I'm giving you should be reciprocated. If it's not reciprocated, then you're not nobody that I even need to know.

• 1:41:50Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:41:50Speaker 01

  And a lot of times... When you look at relationships, I could be somebody's best friend, but they not my best friend. It's not the energy not being reciprocated. And a lot of people are victims of that. Being in relationships that are one sided, the door don't really swing both ways. It may look like it swing both ways, but it don't.

• 1:42:14Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's just a trap too. I mean, a lot of the day, like the sex, the dating, just the pornography. Cause that's been something I've dealt with, you know?

• 1:42:21Speaker 01

  When you stop watching porn, it's gonna change everything.

• 1:42:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:24Speaker 01

  It's gonna change the way you have sex. Once you realize these people acting, this is fake. This is not real. This is not a connection. This is bullshit. No disrespect to people that do porn, it's just.

• 1:42:36Theo Von?

  But they know it. They know it's fake. You know, they know it's.

• 1:42:39Speaker 01

  That's just not my cup of tea. That just ain't no, like, how a man told me, he was like, you jacking off to another man's success. Like, I ain't fucking that bitch.

• 1:42:49Theo Von?

  Dang, that's crazy. God. Oh, my God.

• 1:42:51Speaker 01

  I'm jacking off to watching another man's success. I'm not doing this.

• 1:42:55Theo Von?

  That is kinda crazy, huh?

• 1:42:57Speaker 01

  If you really think about it, it's psychotic in nature. And then you gotta hide and sneak to do it.

• 1:43:03Theo Von?

  Oh.

• 1:43:05Speaker 01

  They got some people probably just go do it publicly, but.

• 1:43:07Theo Von?

  I ain't doing that.

• 1:43:08Speaker 01

  You gotta sneak and do it.

• 1:43:09Theo Von?

  Yeah, I sneak and do it.

• 1:43:10Speaker 01

  And then, under the guise of, I'm having me time.

• 1:43:12Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:12Speaker 01

  But then after you do it, you feel guilty.

• 1:43:15Theo Von?

  Feel horrible.

• 1:43:16Speaker 01

  Like, damn, why I did that? Cause that was precious life force. I just wasted on somebody else's success.

• 1:43:23Theo Von?

  God dang it.

• 1:43:25Speaker 01

  True. Listen, I've been there. I've been there. I know about it, so I've been there.

• 1:43:29Theo Von?

  And what was the thing that got you out of that? Like, how you able to stop that specifically even?

• 1:43:33Speaker 01

  I took baby steps. I was like, I'm only gonna release on Fridays.

• 1:43:37Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:43:38Speaker 01

  And.

• 1:43:39Theo Von?

  Shabat shaboom, huh?

• 1:43:40Speaker 01

  And I started saying, well, maybe this is my creative energy. I'm, this, when, when you, when you release your life force, that's your creative energy. So I'm not gonna release my creative energy. Like, when you boxing, or you preparing for a fight. While I'm working on this album, I ain't gonna release no semen. Or while I'm doing this, I ain't gonna release. And it just, I became better and better and better. But it was baby steps. I ain't just start off just saying cold turkey.

• 1:44:05Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:05Speaker 01

  But by the time. It was like.

• 1:44:08Theo Von?

  It's seeming as babies in it, which is crazy. And you taking baby steps.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  If I ain't getting no pussy, that's wrong. If I ain't get no pussy shit, I ain't no shit.

• 1:44:18Theo Von?

  Yeah, what am I doing?

• 1:44:19Speaker 01

  I can wait.

• 1:44:20Theo Von?

  Yeah, I can wait. That's the thing. It's just that relationship with yourself, you know? And having like, having conversations with yourself, like, what am I doing? What do I, what would I really like to do? And then how do I get through this?

• 1:44:29Speaker 01

  You respect yourself different.

• 1:44:31Theo Von?

  Yeah, your integrity changes a lot.

• 1:44:32Speaker 01

  I respect myself different now that I don't play around like that.

• 1:44:35Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:36Speaker 01

  I respect myself different now.

• 1:44:38Theo Von?

  And when you show up, people could, here's the funny thing, people could see the, the integrity you have for yourself.

• 1:44:43Speaker 01

  People tell me? They say your aura is big. I'm like, I don't know why. And they were like, what kind of practices do you do? And I say, I practice semen retention.

• 1:44:54Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:55Speaker 01

  It's my precious life force. And they was like, that's what it is. You have a glow.

• 1:45:01Theo Von?

  That's bad, yeah. That's a semen, damn.

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  It's your life force.

• 1:45:06Theo Von?

  Oh, yes. Everything you are. It's your truth. It's your script.

• 1:45:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:45:10Theo Von?

  It's your, I mean, that is, that is, and it's not even your script. It's a script of all your ancestors.

• 1:45:14Speaker 01

  Just wasting it in a sock.

• 1:45:15Theo Von?

  And you, yeah, you blasting it out here in a dang church sock too at times, God. Oh, my God.

• 1:45:21Speaker 01

  I forgive myself.

• 1:45:24Theo Von?

  Yeah, you right, man. Cause sometimes I'll have that shame feeling.

• 1:45:26Speaker 01

  All the misfires, I, I forgive myself.

• 1:45:29Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:30Speaker 01

  We learn from our mistakes. We move on. But somebody needed to hear this.

• 1:45:35Theo Von?

  No, I think somebody did today. And I think, you know what? I think it's like, we need more leaders in the community to say things like that. Lead, we have to get, I don't know, we gotta do, something has to start to be different, I feel like.

• 1:45:47Speaker 01

  The greatest teachers teach without teaching.

• 1:45:50Theo Von?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 1:45:51Speaker 01

  The greatest teachers teach without teaching. So when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear. You'll be amazed where wisdom could come from.

• 1:45:59Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:59Speaker 01

  Even the homeless person standing on a street corner that, that smell bad, the person that you would be afraid of. The person that you would look down upon, one of those people, the wisdom and the knowledge that they can compute, you would be amazed.

• 1:46:15Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, they got bars over there.

• 1:46:16Speaker 01

  I don't care what you do with the money, just, you know. I, I committed to act of giving. He's just gonna buy drugs with it. I, I committed to act of giving, whatever he do, that's his choice. Now, one lady made me mad though, cuz she was holding a sign. Talking about she had worked for food and I gave her a sandwich.

• 1:46:31Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:32Speaker 01

  And she put it in her book set. And then I said, you know what? Maybe she had children to go feed, but I don't know, like.

• 1:46:41Theo Von?

  Yeah. She, what she thinks you're gonna sell it or something?

• 1:46:44Speaker 01

  Maybe you had children to go feed or something. So I was like, I did overreact cuz I got pissed off.

• 1:46:49Theo Von?

  Kevin, not everybody eats immediately when you serve them.

• 1:46:51Speaker 01

  I mean, you know, maybe she was saving it for later, I don't know.

• 1:46:54Theo Von?

  Yeah, maybe she got baby birds in a nest or something.

• 1:46:57Speaker 01

  I don't know, maybe she got, saving it for her kids or something and I just said, you know what? I ain't tripping. Whatever you do with it is on you, I committed to act of giving.

• 1:47:05Theo Von?

  Probably so, Kevin, I bet. Yeah, I think she probably was doing something nice, hopefully.

• 1:47:09Speaker 01

  I hope so.

• 1:47:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, I bet she was.

• 1:47:12Speaker 01

  I hope you ain't take advantage of me. But if you did, that's, if you did, that's your car medic bag.

• 1:47:16Theo Von?

  Right, I did what I did.

• 1:47:17Speaker 01

  I did it right there.

• 1:47:18Theo Von?

  Right, I did what I did. Yeah, kind of like, man, I think one interesting thing is like, yeah, we just, we need, we gotta have leaders making things cool, you know?

• 1:47:29Theo Von?

  I think it's why it's one, I, I, to me, and this might be, I guess I'm afraid to say this probably cuz it's probably.

• 1:47:35Speaker 01

  Ready, set, go.

• 1:47:37Theo Von?

  I think it's cool that, to have a black man say something about that, because black people notoriously, I feel like, make things cool, right? Like, people go to the black community to make something cool, like you give a, you give a metal plate in it to somebody in the black community, then they got a rim out of it, you know what I'm saying? They make things cool. So I think to hear a, a black-

• 1:47:55Speaker 01

  Creativity thrives in the darkness.

• 1:47:58Theo Von?

  Okay, perf, well said.

• 1:47:59Speaker 01

  You didn't say anything wrong.

• 1:48:01Theo Von?

  Okay. So I think to hear a black guy say that, to act certain ways.

• 1:48:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:06Theo Von?

  I think that makes it cool. Because ev, we all take, I feel like a lot of culture comes from, what's cool comes from the black community.

• 1:48:14Speaker 01

  Creativity thrives in the darkness.

• 1:48:17Theo Von?

  So I just-

• 1:48:17Speaker 01

  So you not saying nothing wrong?

• 1:48:18Theo Von?

  Okay. Yeah, I think it's, yeah. Makes it cool, you know? And we need, we need things that, like, I think have moral value and integrity to be cool.

• 1:48:27Speaker 01

  Like, like I watch anime cuz they have more moralistic value than regular movies.

• 1:48:34Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:36Speaker 01

  So I watch a lot of anime.

• 1:48:37Theo Von?

  I don't watch a lot of it. Israel Adesanya watches a lot of it. You know who he is, UFC fighter?

• 1:48:42Speaker 01

  The last style bender.

• 1:48:44Theo Von?

  Yeah, he's incredible, dude.

• 1:48:45Speaker 01

  The last style bender, yeah.

• 1:48:47Theo Von?

  You and him, you and him would be such a neat. I mean, you guys are, I mean, both humans, so whatever, I don't know what I'm talking about. Um, I'm trying to think of anything else we want to talk about. You have a new tour coming up.

• 1:48:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, a new tour coming up. I got coffee.

• 1:49:01Theo Von?

  You had a new album that came out on my birthday, I think, March nineteenth or something. You had one come out. I'm here, nah.

• 1:49:06Speaker 01

  I'm him too.

• 1:49:07Theo Von?

  I'm him too. Yeah, I'm trying to think, is there anything else that you wanted to talk about today?

• 1:49:12Speaker 01

  If, um, if anybody watched this and they gained any insight, uh, I'm grateful for that. If you didn't gain any insight, I could give a fuck less.

• 1:49:27Theo Von?

  Uh, that's fair.

• 1:49:29Speaker 01

  That's it, that's all.

• 1:49:30Theo Von?

  That's it, that's all.

• 1:49:31Speaker 01

  Whenever I drop an album, I'm like, get it. If you want to get it, if you don't, don't get it. Like, I'm not here to force you. If you want to get it, if you don't want to get it, don't get it. It's already gonna do what it's gonna do.

• 1:49:42Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:43Speaker 01

  I didn't do, I can say this, this album that I put out, this last one, I was proud of it. Usually I'm upset when a project come out, I'm like, I wasn't happy, this and this and that whenever a release. But this time I was like, I celebrated myself the whole way through. And I was like, man, I love this project. Like, out of my other projects, I go back and appreciate them after the next one come out. But not this one, I'm like, nah, I fuck with this one all the way through.

• 1:50:14Theo Von?

  Why do you think that was?

• 1:50:15Speaker 01

  Cause I'm in a different space. Like, I don't make depression music anymore. And then if I do make depression music, I'm just venting. It's my therapeutic release. I got it all out. I know there's somebody out there that could relate to what I'm going through, but this is how we combat that. It's on with an upward. That's it, that's all. I don't stay stuck in a sunken place.

• 1:50:38Theo Von?

  Yeah, I don't stay stuck in a, I don't stay stuck, I don't stay stuck in a sunken place.

• 1:50:44Speaker 01

  I don't stay stuck in a sunken place.

• 1:50:46Theo Von?

  Amen.

• 1:50:46Speaker 01

  I'mma snap out of it quick.

• 1:50:48Theo Von?

  That's it, nothing changes if nothing changes, they say, man.

• 1:50:51Speaker 01

  Changes if nothing changes, yes, sir.

• 1:50:54Theo Von?

  Kevin Gates, man, the pride of Louisiana, uh, thank you so much, man, for spending time with me today, man, it's a blessing, I really appreciate it.

• 1:51:01Speaker 01

  Thank you for having me, and I just wanna tell you this sincerely, I mean this sincerely, hey, thank you for being you. This was like, the most different type of interview, podcast, whatever you wanna call it, it was just like, we was just talking shit, but it was beautiful, cuz not too many people could see me. Like, really see me.

• 1:51:22Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:23Speaker 01

  And I just appreciate you for that. Usually when I go places, I have to meet the person at the level of the person. I had to see where they at and just, but with this, it was like, the transparency was beautiful. It was refreshing talking to you, like, I lost track of time. If you ever watch when I go other places, I have to meet the person at the level they at, and I hate what I'm about to say, but it's the truth, I look at my watch to keep time, I didn't do that one time, yeah, cuz it was refreshing. It's refreshing.

• 1:51:54Theo Von?

  Well, I appreciate you sharing yourself with the world, sharing what's going on in your head and your spirit with the world, man. It's been, some of the things you say make me think, and I'll, and I appreciate that, cuz I think, uh, me having, taking time to think is, is more important than, uh, than I knew it needed to be for myself.

• 1:52:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:13Theo Von?

  So, thank you very much, Mr. Gates.

• 1:52:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you for having me.

• 1:52:42Speaker 02

  Progressive's Accident Response can contact emergency services if you're in a major accident. The only thing worse than someone you love being in an accident is not being able to help them. So Progressive is here to help when you can't. So get peace of mind knowing your loved ones are protected with Progressive's Accident Response. Learn more at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Limited availability in California. Driver is responsible for emergency and towing charges not covered by the policy. Coverage subject to policy terms and conditions.