James Marsden

James Marsden (Paradise, Jury Duty, X-Men) is an Emmy and Golden Globe-nominated actor. James joins the Armchair Expert to discuss paying the price for such a dominant chin, the reality of being an Oklahoman in Los Angeles, and still feeling like every job is his last job. James and Dax talk about the story of meeting after Dax lost a role to James, sharing an enduring appreciation for mens’ bodies, and comparing notes on starring in shows that trick people. James explains that being a middle child is the sweet spot of siblingry, learning that he was the subject of a Corny Collins fantasy, and how acting in Jury Duty really was the tight rope of all tight ropes. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  Today, we have a very handsome guest.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  We sure do.

• 0:08Dax Shepard?

  He was one, one time named GQ's handsomest man.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Golly, what does it feel like?

• 0:13Dax Shepard?

  Would you rather have, is it, does people do sexiest man?

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sexiest, yeah.

• 0:18Dax Shepard?

  Would you rather have handsomest man GQ or sexiest man people?

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Wow, great, great Q.

• 0:23Dax Shepard?

  Great Q.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Great GQ. I would rather have handsomest. That feels like-

• 0:30Dax Shepard?

  Timeless?

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Actually-

• 0:32Dax Shepard?

  I want sexy.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Sexy, yeah.

• 0:34Dax Shepard?

  Sexy boy, sexy guy?

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Sexy man.

• 0:36Dax Shepard?

  Sexy person, friendly, friendly boy.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  No, it's best boy, sexy man, cool guy. Get it right.

• 0:44Dax Shepard?

  Okay, James Marsden, you've been watching him forever. I've been losing roles to him for a good 25 years. X-Men, Enchanted, The Notebook, 27 Dresses, but I think where he really absolutely blew our minds was Jury Duty.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  So good. If you haven't seen Jury Duty, stop right now and go watch it.

• 1:01Dax Shepard?

  Find it, watch it. He's absolutely incredible. And he has a new show out on Hulu, streaming now, called Paradise, and I am not lying. It is, it's got its hooks in the whole family.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  You're in. I'm so excited to watch it.

• 1:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we're very, very in. It's Dan Fogelman.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22Dax Shepard?

  Very loved and esteemed writer and an incredible premise. So, please enjoy James Marsden. We get support from Quince.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts and Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 1:52Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere- Sweaters starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 2:19Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California. And I'm so excited and I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 2:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here. And it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five-star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:54Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I need to talk about something that doesn't get enough respect. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese. This is not a casual burger. This is a crafted burger. We're talking 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order it. No artificial flavors, no fillers, no preservatives, just beef doing what beef is supposed to do. And here's a detail I love. There's a cowbell sound in the kitchen. When somebody orders a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a cowbell goes off and the grill master throws a fresh patty down. That's like having your own entrance music at McDonald's. I want a cowbell for everything in life. The onions are hand-topped by someone who just knows the right amount. Two slices of cheese laid out in a star pattern, so every single bite gets cheese. And two pickles, side by side, so you're never in a pickle desert.

• 4:10Dax Shepard?

  Every bite is accounted for. Someone engineered this thing with love. I love a Quarter Pounder.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Me too. That's my order. It's a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. I love it. I didn't know they put so much effort that they did a star formation. I should have known because you can taste it.

• 4:27Dax Shepard?

  You can taste it. Yeah. The love. Don't tell anyone this, but I'll put two of them back.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 4:34Dax Shepard?

  The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now $8 for a limited time only. Only at McDonald's. For a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 5:08Dax Shepard?

  Did you happen to hear me interview Toto?

• 5:10Speaker 02

  I did not.

• 5:11Dax Shepard?

  You're missing out on one of the greatest visual experiences ever to watch Toto Wolff be charming for two hours.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  I'm so out of it. I'm like, the band Toto? Like, oh, Toto Wolff from Mercedes. Yes, the chief.

• 5:26Dax Shepard?

  Toto Wolff. Louis, I know the car is no good. You have to drive it. I thought if one would come across your desk, that would be the episode.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Several have come across my, hello. Okay.

• 5:35Dax Shepard?

  How are you?

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Nice to meet you.

• 5:37Dax Shepard?

  Nice to meet you, Monica. You gonna go squirt or anything? Take a little pee pee?

• 5:40Speaker 02

  I think I go squirt. Not good, actually.

• 5:42Dax Shepard?

  You wanna go number two?

• 5:43Speaker 01

  We can step out.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  This is a trap.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  We can always stop if you change your mind.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  My bowels are comfortable.

• 5:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  My bladder is evacuated. I remember I ran into you in Austin at the, not this last year's race. It was the prior year.

• 6:00Dax Shepard?

  We ran into each other.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Right after jury duty, yeah.

• 6:02Dax Shepard?

  Few times. I want to say Miami.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Were you there inaugural?

• 6:06Dax Shepard?

  I was there first and second year.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  First year was a mess.

• 6:10Dax Shepard?

  First year was a little rough. Wabi, I sound crazy. I don't know if there's been an adjustment.

• 6:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's probably just turn me down. Touch. James is a little hot, believe it or not.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  I can back off.

• 6:24Dax Shepard?

  No, no, I want your full timber and timber.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  We can do some, uh, what's it called? E S M R, whatever it is. Well, that's a personality test, right? ASMR. If you'd like me to back.

• 6:34Dax Shepard?

  We could do ASMR, but we could also do E M T therapy.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  E M T therapy or T M J, that issue people have with their jaw.

• 6:41Dax Shepard?

  Yes, with your mouth.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  So funny you say that.

• 6:43Dax Shepard?

  Uh oh.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Because you ever get one ear that's clogged from going in elevation up or down?

• 6:49Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Had that now for like 45 minutes. And I keep doing this thing with my jaw that makes me look like a crazy person.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Can you yawn?

• 6:56Speaker 02

  You know what my son told me to do, but I'm like, how is yawning different than just doing that?

• 7:00Speaker 01

  No, it opens, it does something. Try it.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  It's so much effort to actually yawn.

• 7:06Dax Shepard?

  Give us a good, good yawn, James. Your very best.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  No, it's like acting.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Your audience is gonna be like terrific. It's gonna be a great chat. We're gonna be yawning.

• 7:14Dax Shepard?

  I like the notion that you are paying some price for such a dominant chin and jawline.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  That is probably why.

• 7:21Speaker 02

  That's very nice of you.

• 7:22Dax Shepard?

  Cute kind of clef, just a touch of a clef, right? You would agree.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  I don't know about that.

• 7:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  This little old teacup chin, not very manly, is it?

• 7:32Dax Shepard?

  This little teacup chin is taking you all around the world, my friend.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  My first band, this little teacup chin. Just taking me around the world. I'm very grateful.

• 7:39Dax Shepard?

  Back to Toto Wolff. Do you share in the world's obsession with him? When I think of who the sexiest, coolest guy in all of F1 is, it's not any of the drivers. It's actually Toto.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  I agree. And there's a mystery always following the guy around.

• 7:52Dax Shepard?

  And you've stood next to him.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  I have, and he's always very kind. He'll make a point in the middle of the race, coming in from the garage and go through the hospitality and then come over and say, hello, how are you? I'm gonna fuck up the accent.

• 8:01Dax Shepard?

  No, I know you can do it.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Yes, have you been in the garage?

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Oh, that's pretty good.

• 8:06Dax Shepard?

  That's not terrible.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Very nice guy, but he's an enigma.

• 8:09Dax Shepard?

  He is, and he's such a towering Hulk of a man.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  And fit. Do one of those slap him on the arm things and it's like marble scares you.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Do you like men's bodies?

• 8:19Dax Shepard?

  That's a great.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Dive in right into this.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  We gotta get there fast.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  This is what I was prepared for.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  On a scale of one to 10.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  On a scale of one to Dax, how do I like men's bodies?

• 8:28Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I'm fully obsessed.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  I can appreciate a great man's body.

• 8:32Dax Shepard?

  Hit me with a couple that you love. Like, I'll go first. Dennis Rodman, win with the Bulls or the Lakers?

• 8:38Speaker 02

  What was specific about his body?

• 8:40Dax Shepard?

  He had really, really big shoulders, yet really thin, long trunk.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Remember David Robinson?

• 8:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  The Admiral.

• 8:46Dax Shepard?

  You could land a plane on him.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:48Dax Shepard?

  Dopey is.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, Rodman.

• 8:50Dax Shepard?

  We would all agree on Pitt Fight Club.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  I was gonna say Brad Pitt Fight Club.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Cause it was on display as well. But he's very tiny in that. He's like around 140 in that. He's just so cut. He's got one of those long torsos too, which I always wanted. I'm not a super tall guy, but my legs are longer in proportion.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  That's how mine are.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  They're longer than my torso, and I want to stretch this out.

• 9:11Dax Shepard?

  You guys should have a child that's an ostrich together.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Just huge legs, enormous legs.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Not even torso, just neck to legs.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Dax just sent me a video on Instagram of the tallest woman and shortest woman.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  I think I saw this was like a puberty post.

• 9:27Dax Shepard?

  They got together for tea.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Are the mugs separate sizes as well?

• 9:31Dax Shepard?

  I hope, cause the tiny is.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  The mug is bigger than the girl.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  She's kind of inconceivably tiny.

• 9:36Dax Shepard?

  If you saw her at a distance, you wouldn't really have any idea. She looks kind of proportional.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, next to the giant woman, of course.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Say anything bad about it.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  No, nothing's bad about either of them.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  How tall is she?

• 9:47Dax Shepard?

  She looked eight foot something.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  She's probably eight foot something. And I said it looked like a version of you and I.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  The girl kind of looked like me and the woman kind of looked like you.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  I kind of look like the woman. Something about it felt just so science fictiony.

• 10:02Dax Shepard?

  I think it's crazy that a Mastiff and a Chihuahua are the same species and can have an offspring.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  Is that true?

• 10:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the definition of the same species is they can have a fertile offspring.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Sure, but that would need some help.

• 10:16Dax Shepard?

  I don't know if you got the Chihuahua male little stool?

• 10:19Speaker 01

  So yeah, that's help.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  That would be assistance.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:21Dax Shepard?

  They're the same species and you're looking at them going, oh my God, we're so hung up on these little differences like skin color. And I look at a Chihuahua and a fucking Mastiff, I'm like, that's a gap. That's a delta in a species. So in gen- In general, it's not a lot of variety, but then when you see that video, you go, okay, it can also happen with us.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  I see the variety when I go to sit courtside at a NBA game in proportion to these guys. And so athletic, like some people who are just tall, you see these guys just sprinting twice as fast as you could and they're six nine.

• 10:53Dax Shepard?

  I think LeBron might be the best example of that. I don't know. Was he six or 10 or 11?

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Six eight, six nine.

• 10:59Dax Shepard?

  Okay, but he is sprinting down the court with great ball handling.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  He's a donut. There's a body you like. Yeah. Let's add him to the list. But he could have been a tight end in the NFL.

• 11:10Dax Shepard?

  Exactly.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  By the way, I saw your recent post about the Lions. I couldn't believe that. But very, very elegant and graceful acceptance.

• 11:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, oh, thank you. I gotta say, it did go from one of the true top five highlights of my best friend and I, we've been friends since we were 11, to be on that field, to meet Dan, the coach and hug him. We were just peaked. We were like at a 12. And then to sit down and for the air to come out of that balloon in the manner that it did, and then to leave completely heartbroken. I mean, there's a full range of human emotions.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  But the human condition too.

• 11:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yes. Absolutely. Okay. So you and I know each other a little bit and it'd be fun for us to go through our memory because I have the very most specific memory of meeting you and I can't imagine you would have the same memory simply because there was a big time sim moment just preceded us meeting for the very first time. And I don't think I've ever told you this. Kristen and I were going out to a restaurant on La Cienega, which we almost never do. We're driving from the east side and I had just recently lost some role to you, which has happened to me several times.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  No.

• 12:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. I've been up for a few different things that you got and I think rightly so you got them, but it had just happened and I said, I gotta meet this guy. This guy must be one of the most charismatic folks there is.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  I hope this story goes well.

• 12:25Dax Shepard?

  I am saying this on the ride to this restaurant. We've never been to, we pull up and get out to valet and you're standing there waiting for your car and you're immediately like, hi guys, I'm James. Came over, introduced yourself. You are insanely nice.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 12:41Dax Shepard?

  Kristen and I were just looking at each other like this is impossible. I was just saying, this guy must just be electric. We meet you, you're everything I thought you could be. And then we walked in, I was like, oh my God, yes, it's exactly what I thought. So that's the first time I remember meeting you.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Well, you're right. I don't remember it.

• 12:57Dax Shepard?

  No, I think people say the same thing about you. I like hearing about those people in this business that are like, you know what? I can't think of one bad thing to say about that guy. Well, lovely. And then since then, though, you and I bump into each other at Formula One kind of frequently. Yeah. I'd say of any other actor, you're the person I've seen most at races.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  I obviously love the sport. I came into it. I was dating this wonderful woman who was English. You know, Ron Dennis, who used to be the head guy at McLaren when Senna was racing.

• 13:23Dax Shepard?

  I did not know that.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Okay, so Ron Dennis was like her godfather. So she was raised in F1. And so she kind of turned me on to the sport. This was back in 2015, pre the Netflix.

• 13:33Dax Shepard?

  Drive to Survive.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:34Dax Shepard?

  That's how I got into it. And it's a bit of shame I have.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  Well, no, you shouldn't have shame.

• 13:38Dax Shepard?

  When I saw it on TV, I was like, this is the stupidest racing I've ever seen. There's no fucking passing. What does anyone watch this?

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Well, I had the same questions. I was like, so whoever's got the fastest car wins. If you put this guy in this car, it's a procession at Monaco because no one can pass. I also worked for this watch company for a while, IWC, and they were very kind and gracious to invite me some of the races. And so I got to be friends with Lewis. This is before Lewis became Lewis.

• 14:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  I mean, he was Lewis, but he wasn't stratospheric. So we got to be pals. He would invite me to a couple of races. I remember we went to Barcelona. I'm kind of the only person there, if I'm calling myself a celebrity or whatever, I feel weird saying that.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  I'm the only person.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I started to get into it. Then you get immersed in it. And then you start to see all the nuance of the race and like, okay.

• 14:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, there's a ton of strategy that's not necessarily visible.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  It's kind of like how I viewed soccer for a long time, and I kind of admittedly still do, which is I grew up with American football, basketball, and I watch Europeans play football and it's soccer. And I know there's strategy. I know these are really gifted athletes.

• 14:36Dax Shepard?

  But it does look like chaos.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  And it may look like luck. It's such a low scoring game.

• 14:41Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  That a ball goes off somebody's heel and it goes in the goal and they win the game. Forget who had the momentum for the whole game, but the more I learn about that sport.

• 14:49Dax Shepard?

  This isn't suspicious that the same guys get lucky off their heel all the time.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Right, no.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  I think that's all sports. If you don't know it.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Exactly my point. The more familiar you are with it, I think that was with F1. Okay, now I get what's going on. Managing tires and your teammate and your pitting and your strategy of one stop versus two stops, but there is a margin for things that you just don't think are gonna happen.

• 15:10Dax Shepard?

  So if you started going then, you've gone to what, 20 races?

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, something like that. I gotta say, in the last couple of years, I haven't been to many.

• 15:19Dax Shepard?

  I think that's what you and I agreed upon the last time we saw each other, which is I really loved the opportunity to go. It's such a special experience, but in truth, I'm such a diehard fan. I need to be at home where I can really concentrate on the radio communication and what the announcers are saying. And I miss a lot of the tiny details when I'm there in person.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  I love that the sport is getting highlighted. But what I was saying is like, now it's become, I remember the first year in Miami, it felt like I was at the Met Ball.

• 15:47Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  It felt like it was like.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  CMBC.

• 15:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you were the 25th most famous person there.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Were you resentful?

• 15:55Speaker 02

  And let's get to the real reason why we don't like it now, right?

• 15:58Speaker 01

  You're like, I was day one.

• 16:00Dax Shepard?

  You're from Oklahoma and we interview people from all over the country on Fridays. We have a show which is just listeners and certainly the fewest number of callers we've received is from Oklahoma or Alaska, maybe. You don't meet a lot of folks from Oklahoma and I have to imagine, have people not found that charming in this town? Because I know people have found it charming that I'm from kind of a hick area and do hick things. People are charmed by that in Hollywood.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  They are.

• 16:25Dax Shepard?

  Has that been your experience being from Oklahoma?

• 16:27Speaker 02

  It has been, but it feels like to me, I've only met Oklahomans in LA.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 16:32Speaker 02

  So maybe we have a way of finding each other. I love the place. I'm so happy I grew up there, but you either stay or you go somewhere else. I guess that's any place. Now that I think about it, wow, what a profound statement.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  It was pretty poignant. I know what you said.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Stay? Explain it to me, guys. But maybe there's something in there for like, oh, you can go and come back.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  You mean you go to chase something?

• 16:51Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 16:52Dax Shepard?

  Also, one thing you might be saying that you're not articulating is that there are many states where you may move around within the state. Oklahoma, maybe you either stay where you were born or you get the fuck out of the state.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  You're right. And you're right. It's not what I meant. Nice that you tried to sort of soften that a little bit, but it's not, it's like,

• 17:07Speaker 01

  I know what you meant.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  You either stay there or post up. I'm like, I ain't leaving.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or you're married to your high school suite.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  Yes. And now I'm careful with that because I don't want to disparage or say anything negative about Oklahoma, but it does feel like that to me. I'm trying to figure out why I've run into so many Oklahomans.

• 17:24Dax Shepard?

  I run into Detroiters, but we kind of like Detroit shit. I'll be at the Kings Red Wings game. There was a Coney Island for a while in Sunset that Mike Bender owned. I go in there and sure enough, every guy from Detroit is in there. So maybe there's some shit you guys are all drawn to that you're not even aware of.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  And going into a new big city, I don't know, it feels like you find each other somehow because you do feel like an outsider. Culture shift is massive, but exciting. I guess the conversation is where are you from? Oklahoma. Oh, you know what? Jean Triplehorn is from Oklahoma. All of a sudden somehow you're chatting with her.

• 17:54Dax Shepard?

  Well, growing up there, your mother was a nutritionist and your father was a food safety person.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  And that's basically how I describe it as well.

• 18:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Okay. Great. I lost one of the words.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  Smarter than me. He's a microbiologist.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Okay. But he deals in food safety. Anytime you hear about salmonella or E. coli breaking out in food, he's usually in the news.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Oh, no shit.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. I was like, one of the guys you call.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  It's kind of munchausenzy.

• 18:18Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's what I was going to ask. So with a mother that's a nutritionist and a father who's a food safety expert, was food a topic? Was it being talked about a lot?

• 18:26Speaker 02

  No, that was their work. They left it at the office.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  And came home and ate a bowl full of fruity pebbles.

• 18:32Dax Shepard?

  Didn't think twice.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Wow. Hypocritical.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  That's not really true. I mean, we didn't really have the best, but Oklahoma food was chicken fried steak, gravy and mashed potatoes. Really good stuff.

• 18:41Dax Shepard?

  Is that what you would think of nutritionists?

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Right. No, especially now, having lived in LA for 30 years.

• 18:46Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's a religion here. We're a godless city and our religion is worried about food.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Our bodies.

• 18:51Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Could be worse.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Could be worse. It's a good thing.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:55Dax Shepard?

  I was wondering, was there a issue of the day in the eighties when your dad was doing this that now seems kind of cute? Or rather is something today kind of cute compared to what? Do you even remember the things he was tackling?

• 19:09Speaker 02

  No, because it started, he was working at a meat packing facility and he was sort of working in town. And with the FDA, I just didn't know what any of it meant. And frankly, when I was young, I didn't really care. And nothing against my dad, he's exceptional at what he does. He was a professor at Kansas State University, teaching about microbiology. It's cool to talk about, but I didn't really know.

• 19:27Dax Shepard?

  Of course. And there's no movies when we were kids where the stud who was slain was a food safety. Yeah, that hadn't come around yet. He was before his time. Okay, so dad, very, very smart, clearly. And he was a professor. Now you go to Oklahoma State and you're going to do broadcast journalism. You're there for a year and a half and you bail. Were they like, what are you doing? Was that a hard thing for you to announce?

• 19:52Speaker 02

  I didn't take anyone by surprise because I had been talking about wanting to move to LA to pursue an acting career.

• 19:59Dax Shepard?

  From what age?

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Sixteen.

• 20:00Dax Shepard?

  You had started acting in high school?

• 20:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like junior high, fourteen, fifteen. And I was taking those classes, you know, you select your electives. And I was like, well, what's gonna be the easiest GPA booster here? Drama choir. I got into choir, didn't know I could sing. And I just sort of later discovered that I could fake it. But then I started getting on stage and started enjoying it. And then I went to Hawaii with my father on a little family vacation and met Candace Cameron from Full House.

• 20:26Dax Shepard?

  Get the fuck out.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Family.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Kurt Cameron?

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. And they were very nice. We hung out the whole trip.

• 20:32Dax Shepard?

  No way. Was there romantic sparks?

• 20:35Speaker 02

  No, I was fifteen. She was thirteen.

• 20:38Dax Shepard?

  I'm not seeing the problem.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Statutory about that?

• 20:44Speaker 02

  No, no, but it was pretty innocent, I guess. It was just fun.

• 20:47Dax Shepard?

  Now, here's some fun overlap I didn't expect. So my first agent was the mom.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  No way.

• 20:54Dax Shepard?

  Barbara Cameron.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  That's right. She was an agent.

• 20:56Dax Shepard?

  She was for commercials.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Harry Gold or something like that?

• 20:59Dax Shepard?

  Started her own thing, Barbara Cameron Agency. Wow. So you met them. So then it kind of became, oh, that's real.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Well, this is something I kind of wanted to do anyway, because I was a big movie buff, TV, big SNL fan.

• 21:10Dax Shepard?

  You said you used to memorize Pryor's stand up and all these different stand up routines.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Pryor, Eddie Murphy. I would go to school and that's how I would get attention. I was never really the hot guy.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Don't say that.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  It's really true. It's such a weird thing when you hear people go, I was such a weirdo. Yeah, that's so gawky, but it's kinda true. I was just a kinda odd dude who didn't really have a lot of friends.

• 21:30Dax Shepard?

  I saw the picture you showed on Colbert of you in high school and you're a fucking babe. Your shirt's undone. I don't know what guy had the confidence in his high school photo to wear a collared shirt that's undone like three buttons. Your physique is nice.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  I think this was probably on my way to LA. I'm not sure that was a high school day.

• 21:49Dax Shepard?

  First of all, you were objectively very cute. I saw the picture, so I'm not gonna stand for this. But what I will say, because I came from a rednecky area, is the thing that was prized at my school wasn't necessarily cute. If you were in drama, you were dead.

• 22:04Speaker 02

  I was at a big high school and they actually did have a pretty decent performing arts.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  You chose it, so obviously.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was gonna set myself up for a pummeling in the parking lot, but it wasn't that bad where I was from. You're not the captain of the football team, but by the time senior year came around, some of the football players were getting into drama, like doing musicals.

• 22:22Dax Shepard?

  And you're one year older than me, I like pointing out, which is crazy because I could imagine that being the case six years after me.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  Then that means you're five zero is gonna be.

• 22:29Dax Shepard?

  It was two weeks ago.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Oh, happy birthday, my friend.

• 22:32Dax Shepard?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  What did you do?

• 22:34Dax Shepard?

  I didn't do anything. I cared for my child who was dying of norovirus in Mexico City. And I was debating whether one takes one to the hospital there or just waits it out. I waited it out. But that's fine. We did a fact check that was really fun. I had had it the day before and it was kind of a birthday miracle. I woke up feeling okay.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  So is that just a delay of the celebration?

• 22:53Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm not built for that.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  I'm usually not either.

• 22:56Dax Shepard?

  It's rare you meet someone that understands what I'm saying. I'm so afraid everyone will have a bad time and I'll just worry about it for weeks leading up to it. And then I'll go, why am I doing this to myself?

• 23:05Speaker 02

  Well, if you're anything like me, it's like I'm now by having this party for myself, seeing every one of my friends' eyes roll back into their head like, oh my God, this is a fucking thing I have to go to. Like, what do we get him? Do you have to bring a gift? We'll go for an hour and a half, we'll leave. And so all of these scenarios play in your head and you're like, you know what? I'm sorry.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Don't worry about it.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  I'm sorry I invited you. And I've actually done that my whole life. Never been a big birthday celebrator because you're kind of one of the other.

• 23:30Dax Shepard?

  You are. Now, my wife, and I don't judge her, and Monty to some extent, they really love their birthdays and they want a big party.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Less than less older, I guess.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  But there's nothing wrong with.

• 23:39Dax Shepard?

  No, I think it's great.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  I wish I was more like that.

• 23:41Dax Shepard?

  Me too. I think we are defective.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's more pretentious almost to do that.

• 23:47Dax Shepard?

  It almost sounds faux humble or something.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Right, exactly. Than to actually just say, fuck it, I'm having a party. What's wrong with that?

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Also, then it can get complicated because people do want to celebrate you. So then they're like, well, then let's just do a dinner, just us. You're still putting people out when you don't have a party.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  You can't win.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Just letting you know.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah, it's true. Well, this was 50.

• 24:03Dax Shepard?

  Did you do something?

• 24:04Speaker 02

  I did.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  What'd you do?

• 24:05Dax Shepard?

  I'm proud of you.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  It was against my will. Friends were like, you are doing this this year. I rented an obnoxious house in the Hollywood Hills. You probably know it. It's an old Lotner mid-century house with like cement.

• 24:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Ceilings.

• 24:19Dax Shepard?

  It's the famous guy who goes to all the Lakers games.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Wait, we've been there.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  That's where we went to our Spotify party. An incredible house.

• 24:25Dax Shepard?

  Incredible place.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  You're not allowed to drink red wine there.

• 24:27Dax Shepard?

  Not on the grounds anywhere.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  It's forbidden. The two caveats we heard is he said, there's no red wine on the property and I have to be invited to the party. It doesn't mean I'll go. Was that the case?

• 24:36Dax Shepard?

  Exactly the same.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  I love it. Did you talk to him?

• 24:38Dax Shepard?

  There's no world where you're not invited to this thing. In fact, I'd like for you to be there before everyone arrives.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're the star.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  During and after everyone leaves.

• 24:45Dax Shepard?

  He's a Hollywood icon. He's a real estate guy, but he always sat next to Jack Nicholson at the Lakers for like 30 years. So he's like one of our mascots.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  The cowboy hat. He's got the white hair.

• 24:55Dax Shepard?

  He's like 109 pounds.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Wearing a leather jacket.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Iconic.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Super cool. Anyway, he rents his place out and he's got a club inside the house and it's called Club James. And when I was looking at these locations, I said, you gotta maybe hide the Club James thing.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't even put two and two together.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  And I didn't tell the party planner. And then when it happened, it was like they lit it up.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  We'll put like spotlights on it, Club James. So then it became like, uh, yeah, I'm doing it as a joke.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Are you glad you did it?

• 25:25Speaker 02

  I'm glad I had it. And it actually made me realize, why haven't I done this before? It almost felt like a wedding.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Yes, all the people that have been in your life, all in one spot. It's lovely.

• 25:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think Poller said it best. Maybe I'm making this up that she said this, but you get to look out and see these people are the proof of the life you've built. And it's kind of satisfying because you put yourself out there and you've made these connections and it is beautiful. And I really wish I had had a party now.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Well, you have the excuse though, to have a belated, because you put your child's health in front of your own self celebratory.

• 25:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so it'll most be like a congratulations party and a birthday party.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  You tell the story about it. You can get on the microphone.

• 26:04Dax Shepard?

  As many of you know, we were scheduled to do this back in January.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:08Dax Shepard?

  But I just couldn't do it because I love my child too much.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:12Dax Shepard?

  How affected were you when your parents got divorced at nine? Was that a big one?

• 26:17Speaker 02

  I don't feel like I held or do hold still a lot of trauma or disappointment or sadness because of that, to the degree where I'm like, should I? You talk to people who come from split families, it can be really life changing and maybe I just haven't come to terms with it yet.

• 26:33Dax Shepard?

  That's totally a great answer.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  It's the most honest.

• 26:37Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and you have four siblings?

• 26:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've got two brothers, a year and a half apart, Irish triplets. I'm the middle, so I have a second child.

• 26:44Dax Shepard?

  You feel like a middle.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm a middle.

• 26:46Dax Shepard?

  Middle's good, right?

• 26:47Speaker 02

  I think.

• 26:48Dax Shepard?

  You kind of flow with everything else that's going on.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  You see how annoying the people older than you and younger than you can be and you make a mental note like, oh yeah, don't do that.

• 26:58Dax Shepard?

  I'm going to adjust.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  The older siblings are like the canary in the coal mine. You're watching them take these big swings and you're like, those don't work.

• 27:04Dax Shepard?

  Well, not only that, it's the parents doing it for the first time. And so they have all of these ideas and standards that they're going to instill on their child or the child's going to fall over and scuff their elbow and they're going to freak out that some strange germ is now in their body and they're going to die. Whereas the more kids you have, the more relaxed you become, the less you care. But my father remarried.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Had another child, so that's my other sister. Yeah, two sisters, two brothers. When I was growing up, my brothers, we were so close in age.

• 27:33Dax Shepard?

  Were they cool guys? Did they protect you in high school?

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, we were pretty close, but I think we were so close in age. There were moments where it almost felt like we were fighting each other for our own identity.

• 27:43Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Get away, these are my friends, not your friends. Go make your own friends. We were constantly fighting and shooting each other with BB guns. Yeah, I'm from Oklahoma.

• 27:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  It wasn't like a hostile environment. It was just boys being boys. And my mother kind of go like, don't know what to do.

• 27:57Dax Shepard?

  Now, in my school, there were groups of boys that were brothers. And you were like, don't fucking even talk to the Jacksons. Cause there's four of them and they're violent.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  We weren't big enough to be formidable.

• 28:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  But we were a little rough around the edges.

• 28:12Dax Shepard?

  Sure, scrappy.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  Who are the Marsden's? I know, it sounds like I'm making this up. A lot of people are like, I don't buy this bullshit.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  Best Christmas pageant ever.

• 28:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he wasn't hot.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:21Dax Shepard?

  Now he's a dirtbag who everyone was afraid of in school.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  BB guns.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. I kind of felt like we raised ourselves, not saying anything about us like parents. My mom was there most of the time. My father was gone a lot for work. He traveled quite a bit.

• 28:33Dax Shepard?

  E. coli doesn't stay in the backyard, my friend.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  Does not. No, no, no, no.

• 28:36Dax Shepard?

  And knows no borders.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  And he was one of those who had to get out and go chase the E. coli. I remember him being on Donahue.

• 28:42Dax Shepard?

  He was on Phil Donahue?

• 28:43Speaker 02

  On Phil Donahue. Remember Jack in the Box is gonna love me for this.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Oh, the big outbreak.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 28:47Dax Shepard?

  It was one of the worst ever. People died. Yeah, in Texas.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  And he was on the show explaining basically what happened.

• 28:52Dax Shepard?

  How did he do? Was he confident?

• 28:54Speaker 02

  I didn't really watch it.

• 28:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, people talking.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  I've got an acting career I need to pursue.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Wait, are you a hypochondriac by chance?

• 29:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  Oh, God, I'm surprised. I would be, well, I am, but I would be if I grew up in an environment where everyone was talking about E. coli and chasing it down.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  I guess because he knew so much about it, I was actually less scared of it all.

• 29:15Dax Shepard?

  That makes total sense. He actually understood it and he could probably tell you when and when you shouldn't be afraid.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, and he was like, you're fine. I remember I was like, Dad, what's actually in a hot dog?

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Oh God, a big question.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  He goes, well, actually, an all beef hot dog is better for you or cleaner than getting like a turkey dog. I said, what? How is that? He's like, because in a turkey dog, they roll in cartilage. I don't know if they still do.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Allegedly, allegedly.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. So I felt like I had sort of the inside line.

• 29:42Dax Shepard?

  Do you seem to have an inordinate fear of getting sued by?

• 29:45Speaker 02

  I know.

• 29:46Dax Shepard?

  Just categories.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Hypochondriac is fear of getting sick. What's the fear of?

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Getting sued.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, lawsuit. What phobia is that?

• 29:52Speaker 01

  It's pilot tidgeous.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  No, you're jacking the box. Nothing against Oscar Mayer.

• 29:56Dax Shepard?

  Well, the best was you didn't even name Oscar Mayer. Just in general, turkey dogs. I hope the Turkey Dog Coalition doesn't write me a letter. See, come after me. I think we can say most hot dogs, yeah, are just cram packed full of everything they couldn't sell in another version. My grandpa used to tell me, he's like, hot dogs out of Michigan. He told me Michigan had really high hot dog standards and not every state did. Now, that probably doesn't hold up.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  The Michigan hot dog standards.

• 30:20Dax Shepard?

  Exactly, which were really high, according to him.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  Why would that be? Why is this so specific? Michigan?

• 30:26Dax Shepard?

  I know they have their own MVA.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Is there like a big German colonization there or something? Nothing wrong with the Germans.

• 30:33Dax Shepard?

  Well, there's plenty wrong with the Germans, but we love them. Okay, so you bounce out of school and you come to LA in 93. You land pretty quickly some employment. This boggles me because it's just years for me trying to figure out how does one get on this television set. But you were on the nanny really quick.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  I got pretty lucky. When I announced that I was going to move to LA and try to pursue this, because through that family, I met a few people who were in the business.

• 30:57Dax Shepard?

  Through Cameron.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. And my father said, I think you're good at this. My mother said the same thing. Give it a shot. You're not going to be going out there without knowing anyone. And my father said, I went to high school with someone who moved to LA and now he's a very successful casting director.

• 31:10Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  I wonder if he'll set you up with a proper manager or agent. And he called the guy and I had some really nice headshots done in Oklahoma. The guy was like, well, we'll get some new ones when he gets out here, but decent looking kid.

• 31:21Dax Shepard?

  We're gonna have him button up just one more button on that.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  One more button. Maybe he can lose the studious eyeglasses.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  Character shots, remember?

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Remember that? Look, I got holding a gun. Look at me bowling. But people don't understand this, right? When you first moved to LA, or if you're just in LA, trying to pursue an acting career in the 90s or late 80s, you had to have these headshots showing you in different scenarios.

• 31:43Dax Shepard?

  Well, help people wrap their head around you as all these different occupations.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Yes, I should not be pigeonholed. I can play a gangster.

• 31:49Dax Shepard?

  This is me in a karate gi.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 32:00Dax Shepard?

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• 32:42Dax Shepard?

  they teach. From your first class to career coaching and beyond, Walden is your partner the whole way. Take the first step and learn at a pace that works for you. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by CHEV. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not-so-dreamy parts. The stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now, that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come

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• 33:43Dax Shepard?

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• 34:24Speaker 02

  So that person knew someone who was a successful and legitimate manager.

• 34:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, God.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  And the guy sent me out upon arrival, like three or four auditions a day.

• 34:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh, man.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Doesn't happen. And also, my family were like, we will financially support you for a year. So you don't have to worry about pulling your own financial side of it, which I should have had to do. But I wasn't waiting tables and doing all of that. I was focusing on making this work. Everything is aligned for success here as long as I show up.

• 34:49Dax Shepard?

  Did you avoid ever having to get a shit job here? When I look at your resume, it seems like you could have cobbled together enough income.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  No, I didn't have to do.

• 34:56Dax Shepard?

  Wow, that's incredible.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  You're a unicorn.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  But lucky.

• 35:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's okay. You don't have to feel guilty. You just have to admit it. That's all.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  But I also just kind of lowered my head. You know, when you're younger too. I feel like you swing for the fences a little harder than you do when you're older, because you can see how far you can fall.

• 35:12Dax Shepard?

  You're delusional in the best way as well. I maybe auditioned for Enchanted and then you got it. And when I look back now in photos of myself at that time versus you, and it was to play a handsome prince who comes to New York, I'm like, of course you were not even running for that.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  They brought you in.

• 35:29Dax Shepard?

  I had skills. It wasn't that. Against you, not a chance. When I look at pictures of me then, I'm like, I can't even believe you went on that audition. You can't play a prince with that nose and that skinny neck and all this stuff.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, you're constantly trying to twist yourself, convince yourself.

• 35:44Dax Shepard?

  Yes, that's my point, is I was blessed with some delusion.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  I had the same thing. I still do have the same thing.

• 35:50Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  It's like, I can do that. That creates some level of confidence, even if it's completely false confidence.

• 35:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it can be built on a house of cards.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  When I was young, it was borderline overly cocky.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Arrogant, okay.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  I'm here, everybody. Stop what you're doing.

• 36:06Dax Shepard?

  Yes, gather round.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  What's that role? I'll take it.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  But then you did.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  What's that role? You should give it to me. Jaws is one of my favorite movies of all time. When I read interviews with Spielberg at the time, he's taking chances and doing things you wouldn't normally do if you had more experience.

• 36:20Dax Shepard?

  He was like 24 or 25. He was so fucking young.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  But he talked about that. When you're young, you have a confidence that you try to hold on to. If you're lucky enough to move through a career, but you're You're also like, oh shit, now I know how bad I can be or how bad the job can be or how far I can fall. And so you sort of get a little bit more careful.

• 36:40Dax Shepard?

  I've gotten more scared over course of my career. I got more comfortable just being me. But on the other side, it's like, there's roles I took then, like idiocracy, if that came my way, I'd be like, I don't fucking think I can do that.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. And when you're younger, you're just like, I'm just gonna give it my best shot.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  You have to. You have to take what's there.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  Absolutely. And I'm gonna go to Cinema Secrets and buy a fake nose and I'm gonna stick it on myself and I'm gonna be Larry from the Three Stooges. But when you get older, you're like, is it okay if I don't go on this? I don't think I'm the right guy.

• 37:08Dax Shepard?

  It's funny how it flips. They don't think you are when you're young. You're like, let me show them. And then people start believing in you. You're like, hold on, don't believe in me too much.

• 37:14Speaker 02

  I've done that before. I don't think they were guaranteed jobs, but I've said no to things that I think this doesn't feel right. I don't feel like I would cast myself in this or want to see myself in this.

• 37:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  Which is a hard thing to do.

• 37:25Dax Shepard?

  And then you feel guilty. In my case, you get superstitious, like, well, that's the beginning of the end. You have to take every opportunity. And the second you stop doing that, the ride will be over because you'll have gotten too big for your britches.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  That encapsulates what it's like to be an actor. There's business and obviously we don't want to sit here and cry about how difficult it is, but you're like, okay, I finished that job. That's it. I'm done. They're not gonna cast me again. They've realized I'm a fraud. I'm done. I certainly felt like I was faking it. I still feel like I'm faking it, to be honest.

• 37:52Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think you're really quite good. I think at the beginning, I felt jealous of you. There were roles I'd go out for and you would get them. And then I was jealous. So then I was hypercritical of you because I felt insecure and was pretty sure I could have done the thing that I was made you got. But point is, I've seen you be really fantastic on numerous occasions.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  As have I, you. And I think that that's just the actor's thing. You're just always gonna go, fuck, what's that guy getting? Dax is doing this and he's so good at that and wish I could do that. And I can't do that. Fuck him. He's talented.

• 38:20Dax Shepard?

  I don't belong here. I'm not worthy of it. This person is. So I hate them.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Did you go to an acting school or something?

• 38:26Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Me neither.

• 38:27Dax Shepard?

  I went to the Roundlings. That's where I learned to act is on that stage.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  Way more than I ever did. I was a mimic in high school. I would memorize stand up bits and SNL sketches and do them at school. And everyone thought they were kind of funny. So like, oh, maybe I'm good at this. But that was it.

• 38:41Dax Shepard?

  You didn't have a craft.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  No, I didn't go to the fancy school in Chicago with Christopher Walken and John Lithgow. So but you feel like, oh shit, well, I'm just kind of faking it. But you do learn it along the way.

• 38:51Dax Shepard?

  Exactly. And that's okay. One early job you had that I want to ask, what did you do on Part of Five?

• 38:57Speaker 02

  I was on one episode of that show and it was the finale of, I think, the first season. But I had done a TV show called Second Noah with Daniel Hugh Kelly. Did a season of the show. We were waiting to see if we were picked up. And then I was cast as this guy Griffin on Party of Five, who was basically that show trying to do what my so-called life was doing at the time with Jared Leto. Brooding, mysterious, good-looking guy. I was like, okay, well, I guess I gotta get my Jared Leto impression down. Grow my hair out, do a nice blowout.

• 39:30Dax Shepard?

  Were you Neve's love interest?

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Yes. She was watching me drink out of a water fountain. And I like walked towards her in a sort of sexy menacing way, or I was trying to be sexy. Like, this is not me. And I was on for that one episode. But the character was meant to be a regular. And in fact, he was a regular. But what happened was after I did that episode, my other show got picked up and I couldn't do it. So I went back to that show.

• 39:52Dax Shepard?

  Were you in love with Neve like I was?

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. She's Canadian.

• 39:56Dax Shepard?

  She is. And a ballet dancer. Canadian ballet dancer.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  Canadian.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  Did they bring in a new Griffin? Cause I recognize that name.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Yes. Do you remember the London brothers, Jason and Jeremy London?

• 40:07Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I do.

• 40:08Speaker 02

  From Oklahoma.

• 40:09Dax Shepard?

  No!

• 40:10Speaker 02

  So that role was recast, I think with.

• 40:13Dax Shepard?

  I remember their love interest for sure.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  He was on the show for.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  A long time.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Several years.

• 40:18Dax Shepard?

  He should send you a little thank you card.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 40:21Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so knowing that you think you're faking it, when you get X-Men in 2000, is this the first time you're in the big, big leagues?

• 40:28Speaker 02

  Certainly the first time I felt like I was.

• 40:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I mean, you're there with people who you recognize from movie posters, right?

• 40:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. Excuse me.

• 40:36Dax Shepard?

  Take your time.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  There's water, right?

• 40:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Great.

• 40:40Dax Shepard?

  I'll join you.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, great. You can tell I have a little raspy voice.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. So when X-Men hit, I felt like I certainly didn't belong there. It was Halle Berry and Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen and all these legends. Hugh Jackman, no one knew who he was at the time, but then became a superstar.

• 40:58Dax Shepard?

  Did you feel sandbagged by the character? You're Cyclops. Here's what I'm thinking. I'm looking around, all these people have been doing forever and they're professionals and some of them are legends. I already am gonna feel like I'm a bad actor and then I'm gonna look at myself in my trailer right before I walk out and go, Jesus fucking Christ. They're also gonna be looking at this one eye that's on my eye.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Yes. I didn't feel like a superhero. I'll put it that way. You know, wearing boots that are extra heeled to make me taller. I was also the youngest of the group. I think I was 25 or 26. Everyone was not much older, but older, Famka and Hugh and everybody. But also, there was someone else that was cast in that role.

• 41:32Dax Shepard?

  Before you?

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 41:33Dax Shepard?

  Someone already didn't make the cut.

• 41:34Speaker 02

  Right. So I was like on deck.

• 41:36Dax Shepard?

  That's scary though, because they've already fired one person in that role. That would up my anxiety.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  I don't think it was a firing thing. It was that person ultimately opting out of it.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  So you knew you were a second choice.

• 41:46Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Was that Jeremy London?

• 41:49Speaker 02

  No, it was another Oklahoman. It was Nick Nolte.

• 41:53Dax Shepard?

  Is Nolte in Oklahoma?

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Is it Brad Pitt, Oklahoma?

• 41:56Dax Shepard?

  No, he is Missouri.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  Raised in Missouri, but I think born in Shawnee, Oklahoma.

• 42:00Dax Shepard?

  Don't you dare take credit.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  No, I think that's right.

• 42:04Dax Shepard?

  He's a Missouri boy.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  I think that's right.

• 42:05Dax Shepard?

  Shawnee, Oklahoma.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  You wouldn't have said it for no reason, right?

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was in there.

• 42:10Dax Shepard?

  Give us old Bradley, will you?

• 42:11Speaker 02

  That's too much to give you.

• 42:13Dax Shepard?

  Give us old Bradley. We gave you the Dust Bowl. You're already famous. Michigan needs Bradley.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, so there was another actor that was cast and he had gone through wardrobe fittings and everything. So I was like, well, shit, I didn't get that. But I'd gone back for callbacks like three or four times with Famka. Okay, well, I'm as close as I can be. And then when, for whatever reason, it didn't end up going forward, I was called. And then he asked if I'd be interested in going to do a role in the Superman Returns movie. First Superman movie since Christopher Reeve.

• 42:44Dax Shepard?

  Our Superman.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, Richard Donner Superman. I was a big fan of that. I'll say yes to that. I'm not Superman. I don't care. We shot that in Australia for a year.

• 42:52Dax Shepard?

  For a year?

• 42:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, at Fox Studios down there.

• 42:55Dax Shepard?

  Did you like it?

• 42:56Speaker 02

  I loved Australia.

• 42:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I love Australia. I just don't know if I'd want to be living somewhere for a year.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  My wife at the time, who was pregnant, and my son, who was four years old, we all went down there together.

• 43:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that works. Then you don't feel like you've paused your existence.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  No, no, no, exactly. In a really important time as well. When it was seven, eight months and the baby was getting closer and closer, she You wanted to go back. She was like, I want to go back to my comfort zone. Cause down there you can have different opinions on this, but they don't baby you really like they do here. Every time my wife went to see the doctor, which is like every two weeks or something to check on the pregnancy, you would get an ultrasound. And in Australia, it was like, yeah, you're good.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tap on it with your fingers like, baby's doing font. You good? She was like, this is a little too au naturel for me.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  But they don't treat it like you're sick. They treat it like this is the most natural thing you'll ever do.

• 43:47Dax Shepard?

  But yeah, even in England, it's like you look at their C-section rates compared to ours. You look at the epidural rate, it's handled much differently. We've really medicalized it.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 43:54Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I just have a couple of fun throughout your career. You've been in so much shit too. I hope you're able to look back and go like, my God.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  Say shit. Do you mean like? No, no, no. I want to talk about this shit stuff.

• 44:04Dax Shepard?

  I think we're at an age where you can kind of look like, I had a really funny conversation with my 10 year old, Delta, while I was in Detroit last weekend. We're laying in bed and she said, Dad, what did you do before the podcast? And I go, well, Delta, I was an actor. You've seen the movies I was in. She's like, oh, you're really doing? It was really funny because for the last three years I haven't acted. I just do this. And then mom is clearly an actor. That's obvious. And I think she had some understanding that maybe I fucked with it for a minute. And I go, well, yeah, and I've been in, I don't know, 15 movies and seven series, you know? I found myself defending the fact that I had actually had a career as an actor.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  Which is 10?

• 44:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So maybe six or seven was the last time she saw me go to a set. And you know, they don't remember when they're six or seven. I found myself going, oh no, I've been in like 15 or 20 movies and I've been in like six series. She's like, what are they? So I'm listing my entire resume to my 10 year old. But I did have a moment where I went, yeah, you actually have a lot of things to say. I don't think you ever feel like you've succeeded in this business, or at least certainly I don't.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  No, that's woven into the DNA of this ambition.

• 45:09Dax Shepard?

  But we're both at an age and we've been doing it long enough that you actually can list things you've done for a while to your 10 year old. And that felt kind of good. Oh, wow. I really did do it. I have a strong case against what she thinks. So when I'm going through your history today, I'm like, oh yeah, that was a huge movie. That was a huge movie. Wow. That was a huge movie. You've really racked up quite an impressive career. I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to you, but in black and white it is.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  It doesn't eliminate the feeling of, uh, you might not work again, but you look back and go, oh, wow. I don't know about you, but it took me a long time to get to that feeling, which is whatever your definition of, of I've made it. I feel like this has been a success.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  And I'm so grateful for that.

• 45:50Dax Shepard?

  That's hard to get to.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But nothing like a child that's going to humble you.

• 45:54Dax Shepard?

  You were an actor?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Sincerely.

• 45:57Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no, no. Mom's an actor.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Oh my God, we just watched Hit and Run.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  It's like that movie Mom was in?

• 46:03Dax Shepard?

  That Moms movie? Anyways, Hairspray, I'm deeply envious that you got to spend time with John Waters. Was it a spectacular experience?

• 46:12Speaker 02

  I'm gonna break your heart here, but I didn't really get to spend much time with him. He wasn't on the set much. Adam Shankman directed it. It was more like the Broadway musical. He came to set a couple of times. He did a little cameo.

• 46:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  But a very good friend of mine, his girlfriend, now wife, when they were still engaged, but been together for a long time. Wonderful people, all very open about everything.

• 46:33Dax Shepard?

  Turkey hot dogs are great.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. And we were at one of these Hollywood events of like GQ Men of the Year.

• 46:38Dax Shepard?

  Go ahead. You got Handsomest Man Alive by GQ magazine. It was probably that event. Okay. So you're at Handsomest Man Alive.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  Thank you. You came right into my story.

• 46:48Dax Shepard?

  I see the breadcrumbs you laid out for me.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  And I was with my son, actually, who was at the time 16, 17. I'm standing next to the girl. I've known her for a couple of years, known him longer. And she had a couple of drinks and he had two. And she goes, I have something to admit to you. And I said, are you okay that my son is standing here? Like, what's going on?

• 47:03Dax Shepard?

  And your future husband?

• 47:05Speaker 02

  And she said, the first time I ever masturbated was to you and the movie Hairspray.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 47:12Dax Shepard?

  Corny Collins?

• 47:14Speaker 02

  What?

• 47:15Dax Shepard?

  James, I can't imagine something more I'd rather hear.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  Of course, great compliment. But of course, my mind was going into the.

• 47:22Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 47:22Speaker 02

  That character.

• 47:23Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 47:24Dax Shepard?

  Check me out on party of five. If you want to beat off, I got long hair.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  The prince. I bet a lot of people's first times was the prince.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Could have been worse. Those Cyclops might have been freakier. Yeah, I don't know. But I just thought that was the strangest-

• 47:37Speaker 01

  Says a lot about the woman in a cool way.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Also, it was kind of innocent and pure.

• 47:41Dax Shepard?

  I'm so envious. That's never been told to me.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  It has happened, my friend.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  To Frito?

• 47:46Dax Shepard?

  I think there's a dude, I think there's a dude out there who has a fetish of watching an overweight man eat flatchirring out of a tube while he sits on a toilet. So maybe.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  No.

• 47:56Dax Shepard?

  I learned this today, but in Enchanted, it didn't make the movie or the soundtrack. But you had a duet with Adina Menzel?

• 48:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:03Dax Shepard?

  Is that, like, talk about LeBron playing one on one.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, no joke. Weirdly, with music and singing, the sort of imposter syndrome wasn't as strong. When you come to LA to be an actor, you're presenting yourself as, hey, I'm here, I'm good. When people don't know you can sing, the expectations aren't there.

• 48:20Dax Shepard?

  You were never declaring, I'm a singer.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  No, I thrive in those situations where no one's expecting anything of you.

• 48:27Dax Shepard?

  It's like when you tell them on a set, like, yeah, I could juggle on this scene. They're like, you can juggle?

• 48:30Speaker 01

  Do you think anyone's listening to the last three minutes or just still thinking about the masturbation thing?

• 48:35Speaker 02

  I've moved on.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  Because I'm still thinking about it.

• 48:39Dax Shepard?

  And what are you thinking?

• 48:39Speaker 01

  I'm thinking about her first and foremost.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  I'd love to meet her.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Sure, but also, what an interesting thing to say to someone in front of your boyfriend.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  He was in earshot as well.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  Right. I find this very interesting, actually.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  That he can hear that come out of her mouth?

• 48:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  That will stop him in his tracks, no matter how engaged he is with somebody else.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  Obviously.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  And I saw his head on a swivel when she said it turned.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Who wouldn't? It almost feels like a move.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  I'm not sure that he knew this information. He turned and smiled. It was like, what is my girlfriend saying?

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 49:18Speaker 02

  And she was like, I'm sorry. I had to tell him because it's just so sweet and innocent.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Oh, you're a sweet and innocent masturbation girl.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is wild. Plus, you have to see her again. And then, do you think about it when you see her?

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Did you then masturbate later that night at the thought of her?

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, this is, there's a lot. I have so many questions.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  Oh God.

• 49:38Dax Shepard?

  I just want to be on record applauding that she told you that. What a gift.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  Well, and it wasn't steeped in shame or anything. It was like, hey, this is a funny story.

• 49:47Dax Shepard?

  You're not gonna believe this. I never thought I'd meet the person that I first, this is funny.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I was like, good for you for just coming out of the gates and saying that. We were friendly, but we're not best friends. But the way she was abandoned, just like unapologetically saying.

• 50:01Dax Shepard?

  Abandoned.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, big time.

• 50:03Dax Shepard?

  Like if you were directing the scene is like the director had just told her, throw it away more.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Let's take that back.

• 50:10Dax Shepard?

  This is nothing.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:11Dax Shepard?

  Just throw it away.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  When you did the Courtney Collins dance.

• 50:14Dax Shepard?

  I almost forgot to tell you this. Yeah. The first time I ever missed it was watching it.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Really good. See, just throw it away.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  Go do that for Delta so she can know you're a great actor.

• 50:22Dax Shepard?

  How dare you? Don't bring her up.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  One more for fun.

• 50:24Dax Shepard?

  Do whatever you want to do. Okay. Whatever. You were great on 30 Rock. We're gonna have to move on, Monica.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Sorry.

• 50:31Dax Shepard?

  At some point. You were great as Liz Lemon's lover. What an honor to be able to be Tina's.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  That was fun. That was another moment though. It was like, was this a mistake? There were moments where I'm like, all right, I loved the enchanted role. I can do this. I've ripped a little bit off of movies in the past that I saw. That was like, who came in here before me? Matt Damon, Jon Hamm.

• 50:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh boy.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  All these guys and Tina Fey and that show is a masterpiece of comedy writing.

• 50:55Dax Shepard?

  She's intimidating.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  The whole experience is intimidating. She's lovely.

• 50:58Dax Shepard?

  Had you done Anchorman yet or no?

• 50:59Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 51:00Dax Shepard?

  Because to me, stepping onto the set of Anchorman 2, as a non-established comedian that didn't come from a comedy school, coupled with they've already done it together.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 51:13Dax Shepard?

  This is like a double fucking whammy. This is one of the roles that you blew my socks off.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Oh man.

• 51:20Dax Shepard?

  You're so fucking confident. You look awesome in that era, by the way. If you had to live in an era, you look so sexy in that first scene where we meet you. Are you in all white or something?

• 51:30Speaker 02

  A light blue suit.

• 51:32Dax Shepard?

  Fucking blown out hair.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, the blown out.

• 51:35Dax Shepard?

  Air sprayed as well. And a lot of like flicking your wrist with the watch. You completely hold your own with a handful of the greatest to ever do it. Were you shitting your fucking blue suit?

• 51:45Speaker 02

  I was. Nice of you to say all that. Comedy was always. Something that really ignited me. I never really felt comfortable being a leading man guy. I was always looking for the character roles. I wanted to be a character actor. You know, I would hear back from casting directors. Well, they don't know you're funny.

• 52:00Dax Shepard?

  Do you feel like you were trapped in rom com jail for a second?

• 52:03Speaker 02

  I was more afraid that I was getting trapped in the other guy thing. Where I was like, the other guy who gets cuckold.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  The good guy who she cheats on with the other guy. X-Men, The Notebook.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Oh my God, The Notebook. Oh my God, I forgot.

• 52:19Dax Shepard?

  That's the first time you masturbated. I think you told me.

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Okay, we'll circle back around to that.

• 52:24Dax Shepard?

  Is that what you told me yesterday?

• 52:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  It was to Ryan, though. Let's be honest. Let's be honest.

• 52:31Dax Shepard?

  That was my first time.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But I was becoming known as the guy like you cast him, even Superman Returns. Superman has left.

• 52:39Dax Shepard?

  I totally understand why you would be afraid of that.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  It's like nice guy.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, like nice guy. That fire isn't there in the relationship.

• 52:45Dax Shepard?

  You like him enough that you feel bad. He got dumped. But you don't like him so much that you're not still rooting for the girl to dump him.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  And I don't know what that says about me. I'm like, yep, give it to me. Is he a fucking buffoon? He doesn't win, right? Okay, this is my comfort zone.

• 53:02Dax Shepard?

  You're saying he doesn't get the girl? Oh, look no further.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Hey, let's keep the expectations set low.

• 53:07Dax Shepard?

  So then 27 dresses, your pump, because that's an enormous hit.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  Huge.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was really what I felt like was my first rom com. Anne Fletcher, who was one of the choreographers and very good friends with Adam Shankman on Hairspray, came in one day while we were filming Hairspray and said, hey, I just got my first movie. I'm going to direct. I said, fantastic. What role am I playing? Making a dumb joke? And she laughed, laughed, laughed. And then the next day she came in, she's like, you know what? You should be in this movie. And it's with Katherine Heigl. She said, well, I want to bring you in to read with her if you can. So we did a whole reading and everything. And then we made the movie. It was cool.

• 53:37Dax Shepard?

  It was an enormous hit.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. When you're making something that's going to be a success or people are going to talk about for a while, do you know that when you're making it? I don't ever know. When we were making The Notebook, it was like, I think everyone's really good, but this could be a schmaltzy, bad. And then 27 dresses is the same. This is probably just going to be your formula.

• 53:54Dax Shepard?

  It's going to make $38 million and go away.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:56Dax Shepard?

  As most of them do. And then it's an enormous global hit. And then Westworld. And I think I'm a little late on the train on Westworld. I think it had already had all the hype and the acclaim. It is still the most watched first season of an HBO show of all time. It was just a Goliath hit.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  That felt like something special before we even showed up on set because it was talked about like it was. It was like, this is Nolan. The budget's gonna be crazy. Anthony Hopkins and Harris. This is all the markings of this is gonna be good. And the first season of the show was pretty transformative. It was a very cool thing to be a part of.

• 54:33Dax Shepard?

  The only other first season I would say is as flawless is Jonah's new show Fallout. Every episode is a fucking banger. It's almost impossible for the first season of a show to be that way. But Westworld, that first season is just a masterpiece.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  I just felt like I was along for the ride on that one.

• 54:50Dax Shepard?

  You're really great in that. Did you get on with Jonah? We interviewed him and I really fell in love with him. I think he's the coolest dude.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, you guys chatting. There's my masturbation story.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  He's so home man, or was he?

• 55:02Dax Shepard?

  He's Chicago.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  He has that vibe.

• 55:04Dax Shepard?

  By way of England.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  Great man. And Lisa Joy, his wife.

• 55:07Dax Shepard?

  Sorry, I don't want to leave her out.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  They co-write on these and wonderful people. Intimidating. Intimidating because of his intellect.

• 55:13Dax Shepard?

  But he doesn't present as that.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  No, he doesn't. You guys probably talked a lot of car stuff.

• 55:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he rolled up in an Ariel Adam. I was like, you're the only person that's ever done this and you'll be the last.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  I remember going to Fontana for some karting out there with him.

• 55:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Great guy. Midas touch. Brilliant writing. Always curious about what hasn't been done before.

• 55:31Dax Shepard?

  Those sets, where were you? That's still the most impressive world I've ever seen created.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, we were Santa Clarita.

• 55:36Dax Shepard?

  Santa Clarita.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. For the most part, Lake Piru.

• 55:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sure. I've shot so much up there.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  Melody Ranch. But that was a really special experience. It was another one of those I didn't feel as sure-footed as I did like to because the show was so.

• 55:52Dax Shepard?

  Such a high level.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:54Dax Shepard?

  Everyone was perfect.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  There was a scene in, I think, the fifth or sixth episode, it was me, Anthony Hopkins and Ned Harris. And the scene was between them. Make no mistake, I was on the verge of dying as I usually am on this show.

• 56:04Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 56:05Speaker 02

  Bleeding out.

• 56:06Dax Shepard?

  You've probably died more on film than anyone else.

• 56:09Speaker 02

  Probably. Whether it's actual death or just being dropped by.

• 56:11Dax Shepard?

  Or cuckold.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  The other woman. The death of the relationship. And Ed and Anthony, they were like, can we talk about this scene a bit? Because it's a long one and it's the first time we meet. And Jonah was like, yeah, let's all get together. So the four of us got together.

• 56:25Dax Shepard?

  You're like, I better get in here too. Yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  Why the fuck am I here? I'm pretty sure that when I come to life for one second, I think I stabbed the table with a knife or something and then just go back to sleep. I'm happy to sit here and just listen to you guys, but they were talking about the scene and Jonah has this really beautiful way of answering your question without really answering it. But I think he did answer the question, but to us it was like, well, that was the most abstract. He started talking about something about the Sistine Chapel.

• 56:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, shit.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  And if you look inside the robe, I'm gonna mess this up because it's God's robe, but you see the human brain inside.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  And he told this really beautiful elaborate story.

• 57:03Dax Shepard?

  An allegory.

• 57:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:06Dax Shepard?

  Excuse me.

• 57:08Dax Shepard?

  We're right in sync. I need a drink and clear my throat at the same time.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's do it.

• 57:14Dax Shepard?

  Monty, do you feel left out? You're not drinking or?

• 57:19Speaker 02

  Do it.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  You need to blow your nose or anything?

• 57:21Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Oh, look at you. Thank you. So I can be a part of it.

• 57:24Dax Shepard?

  I don't want you to feel left out. Take a big, long sip. Now, Carl, did you cough a little bit?

• 57:30Speaker 01

  This is the most water I've drank.

• 57:31Dax Shepard?

  This is that time of year.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Three weeks.

• 57:34Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so he gives this kind of abstract allegory.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  I remember walking out with Anthony Hopkins and he turns to me and he goes, well, I still don't fucking know what the scenes are about.

• 57:46Dax Shepard?

  Interesting.

• 57:48Speaker 02

  So that made me feel better.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  He doesn't even get it.

• 57:52Dax Shepard?

  I've never met or worked with Ed Harris, but I have a hunch and I want to ask you. So I have worked with a single actor, which was beyond unique, Robert Duvall. It didn't really matter how he modulated. It was true every time in a way that I just have never experienced with another actor. And I've worked with great, great actors, but there's a couple of folks that they just cannot sound anything but true, no matter what the adjustment they're given is. I feel that Ed Harris is that person as well.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 58:24Dax Shepard?

  Tell me about being in scenes with him. Does he just suck you into his bubble?

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, in a great way, but also not so much so to make you feel like you're anywhere near as captivating or as good. But you do feel like, all right, I've gotta pay attention. Be really present in this. You can see him do something different every time. But the gravitas and the focus, all of it was just effortless. It was just like, he's not acting. I'm acting.

• 58:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  I'm acting. I'm acting like a character.

• 58:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 58:57Speaker 02

  I've always said that.

• 58:58Dax Shepard?

  I'm making choices. He's existing.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Yes. And you've been really nice to say nice things about roles that I've done and everything. And I still get weird like, yeah, I don't know. I'm not great at taking compliments because I feel that way. And I'm not trying to discredit what I've learned or what I've achieved, but there is still that little part of you that's like, I'm acting. And there are people, there are actors, you call them actors.

• 59:19Dax Shepard?

  There's a handful.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:21Dax Shepard?

  Not a lot.

• 59:22Speaker 02

  No, but those few, I think that's when they say it, you have it.

• 59:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  That's what it looks like.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Okay, but sorry, and not to jump ahead, we're probably maybe there now, maybe, maybe. Did you feel like that in Jury Duty?

• 59:35Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's the next.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  I know. That's what I was saying.

• 59:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, we'll get right to it. So the next most spectacular thing in the world, this has got to be the greatest thing you've ever done is Jury Duty. We have to find out how you become willing to even participate in that. Because talk about a fucking high risk swing.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  I hear people say that. I mean, yes, it was a risky high wire act.

• 59:54Dax Shepard?

  Let's just start with the most basic thing that you're gonna go from Westworld and you're gonna be on a reality show.

• 59:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  In case people haven't seen it, maybe we give a premise.

• 1:00:01Dax Shepard?

  They need to fucking stop what they're doing and watch it. This is one of the greatest shows ever made.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:00:06Dax Shepard?

  There is one man who sincerely believes he's on a jury deciding a court case in Los Angeles, but everyone else is actors. The judge is Ike Baranholz's father.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Yes, who was a real defense attorney.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Dax Shepard?

  Yes, he's phenomenal. He should have been an actor his whole life.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  He wanted to be.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  He got a late break.

• 1:00:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. He's great.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Dax Shepard?

  And then this unsuspecting guy comes to find out that the actor James Marsden is also on the jury.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:00:34Dax Shepard?

  I'm sorry, but when I hear that premise, I'm like, is anyone gonna believe this?

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  I thought the same thing.

• 1:00:39Dax Shepard?

  And did your fear go where mine would have been, which is either A, they'll know me and not believe it. But I think more likely this person won't know the actor, Dax Shepard. Do you have any fear that like, oh, this person might not even know who I am? And that's kind of part of the premise?

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  I felt like if that were the case, that would be like a goldmine for comedy. For me making an ass of myself, trying to get him to appreciate me and Delta. Yes, because that role is what I'm way more comfortable playing, which is how do I make fun of what we do? Not in a disrespectful way.

• 1:01:07Dax Shepard?

  Pointing at the vanity, the self consumed.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  The celebrity of it all.

• 1:01:11Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  And the subtle entitlement that just kind of gets dropped here and there. Anyway, I just thought, oh, I'd love to just play this version.

• 1:01:19Dax Shepard?

  The duchiest version of yourself imaginable.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  And it's for the most part, complete fiction. But the scariest thing was, what is this show? There were no comps. Yeah. Joe Schmo. It was nothing like I'd done before. But my favorite shows are Curb, Larry Sanders Show, you know, where the feeling is, you're not sitting here looking at the script going, oh, I said, and instead of the, like, it's gotta be verbatim. It's more like a, here's a funny outline. Let's make it a scene. Play. And play with it. Christopher Guest, he was waiting for Guffman and Bestin Show and Spinal Tap. I want to do something like that, where I'm in a room full of funny people who can get on that frequency where you're like, I see where you're going with this. I see where you're going with it. And Anchorman 2 was watching those guys do that. The generosity. It wasn't Steve trying to steal the spotlight from Will.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  It was them complimenting one another, setting each other up for these jokes. And I was like, I want to do this in this sort of environment with like people from the Groundlings and UCB. And I don't think I was prepared for the other side of it, which was the choreography, the technical.

• 1:02:21Dax Shepard?

  Challenge of the whole thing.

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  Yes, of the whole thing. But we were surrounded by really great people. It was Todd Schulman who did Borat and Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky, The Office and David Bernard. Friend of mine, I'd done a couple of things with him. He's my closest friend and he was like, I have this project for you. And it's so hard to cast because it has to be someone who is willing to poke fun at himself. People will know, but not like a superstar. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, okay. Yes, I like this. Go on. I'm already comfortable.

• 1:02:50Dax Shepard?

  Do I lose a girl at any point?

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. How many times do I get dumped? Oh, in my sleep. And I came in, there were scripts, but there was no dialogue really written because you can't, you don't know what he's gonna say. You know, you can set certain scenarios up and I thought the scripts were so fucking funny. Brilliant writing. And I was howling, reading them going, oh my God, I'm taking a shit. In his hotel room bathroom, I'm trying to get him to take the blame for it.

• 1:03:17Dax Shepard?

  Some of the swings, I can't believe you guys land. And I was on punk.

• 1:03:20Speaker 02

  I was thinking about you all the time.

• 1:03:22Dax Shepard?

  Yes. When I was watching, I was like, I know how he feels. I've been in this situation a bunch of times. I'd argue it's the best acting you'll ever do in your life.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  Thank you. That is the closest thing I ever got to, like, I'm not acting. The laws of cause and effect have been turned upside down. The lines between reality and fiction are blurred.

• 1:03:37Dax Shepard?

  There's no second take. If you go too far, you fucked up.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  You fucked up.

• 1:03:41Dax Shepard?

  That's a really interesting third element in the room at all times.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  That's exactly it. And what kept it feeling so real is everything you didn't see in the show, which is everything that was cut out. Each episode's what, 25 minutes? We were there doing this with him for three weeks. It was five, six hour days of just being in court.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  And in those five, six hours, you find little moments to insert the bit that's in the script. Outside of that moment, you're fucking laying on the floor, taking a real nap. In the deliberation room, not caring where the camera is. When you're acting in a movie, I'm always so aware.

• 1:04:18Dax Shepard?

  You have to be.

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  I have a great appreciation for people who are technicians and recognize, okay, where's your light? Here's my space I can kind of play in. This was like.

• 1:04:25Dax Shepard?

  Free for all.

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. The camera guy's just gonna follow you around, whatever you're gonna do, just be ready for everything. And they're gonna capture all of it. And some poor bastard.

• 1:04:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Has got to edit this together.

• 1:04:35Dax Shepard?

  That deserves the biggest.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I think that's where my hat goes off to those people that found the show and crafted it. They had the outlines and the scripts. We're like, okay, these are the moments. We can shave the other stuff off that we know is not gonna be there. But when Ronald, God bless Ronald, like this sweetheart. Listen to me, there's a lot of gifts in that show. You're one of them, but you couldn't.

• 1:04:55Dax Shepard?

  Assemble a think tank and come up with a better person.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:04:58Dax Shepard?

  Because he was so kind and you never felt bad for him. He's confident, he's tall, he's fucking generous.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  His spirit is so positive.

• 1:05:07Dax Shepard?

  Smiling and helping people out.

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  But not a victim.

• 1:05:10Dax Shepard?

  Right. This is something you just get lucky or you don't get lucky. The heart of the show is what a good person Ronald was.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Yes, he was, and that's how they sold the show to me, which is, this isn't a prank show. We're not trying to make an ass of somebody other than me and the other jurors, but not him. This is what we were calling at the time, a hero's journey. And I was like, yeah, sure. That's a pretty way of saying we're doing a prank show.

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 1:05:47Speaker 02

  So I kind of held the writers, the producers, everybody in check for that. We better be doing something nice here. Cause my other concern was, we're fucking with this guy for three weeks of his life. That's a long time to mess with someone's human experience and to fool somebody. And you're going to forge relationships and friendships during that time. And we're going to lift the curtain.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  And he's like, that was fake?

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  That was fake.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  I know how I would feel. I don't even like a surprise birthday party.

• 1:06:13Dax Shepard?

  Right. Not to mention, like, I think I'm friends with James Marsden. And now you're telling me.

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

  Maybe we're not friends or feel like a total asshole. You know, you've been bamboozled.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, chump.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. So my struggles were every night I would get on the phone with the producer. What's tomorrow's stuff? We're hitting these moments and what do I not feel comfortable with? I was very firm on like, I cannot turn the screws to this guy anymore than just the situation itself. Right? Like, I'm not going to make him the butt of any jokes. Cause I just feel like that's where this show is going to work is if we're not mean to this guy.

• 1:06:46Dax Shepard?

  And by the way, it's low hanging fruit and it's very tempting. You probably have to resist nonstop.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  There's a scene in the show where I ask him to do an audition tape with me, to read off camera for me.

• 1:06:57Dax Shepard?

  Which really quite, let that sink in if you haven't seen the show. Non-actor, I think he sold either solar panels or wind.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  I think it was solar panels.

• 1:07:05Dax Shepard?

  He's going to be asked to act in a scene with you for an audition. Now, just imagine you, who with zero acting experience, being asked to act with James Marsden. What a mensch that he's even willing to do it.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Dax Shepard?

  And he got so into it.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  At the beginning of the show, he didn't really know exactly who I was. I think he recognized me.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  Maybe he recognized.

• 1:07:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's so kind, he recognized you and then actually did some research to help you feel good.

• 1:07:31Speaker 02

  He couldn't do that until we were done with the first day of shooting.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  So we had a woman that was planted there in the check-in room or whatever. And this was part of the script. In case he doesn't recognize me, this woman's going to come over and ask for a photo. So then he goes, why are you getting your photo taken? And then she took a photo and he still didn't say anything. He just got a thinking. And so then I get to play with it and be like, oh, boy, this guy's socks over there. I thought this had Sonic on it. I'm in this movie Sonic. And, you know, so I'm like doing that whole bit. And then he just completely innocently goes, oh, oh, yeah, you were in Sonic. I heard that was not a good movie.

• 1:08:05Speaker 02

  And I was like, don't fuck this up now because this is perfect.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  Gold.

• 1:08:08Dax Shepard?

  This is what you were after.

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah, exactly. Yeah. He felt bad about that later, which made me feel bad.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  Because of already knowing what we're doing to this guy. But it was such a mensch, it's such a sport. When you tell somebody the premise of the show, you're like, come on. He had to have known. What about the cameras? There's cameras everywhere. Well, he was told that we were making a documentary about the court system is serving jury duty. He just thought it was going to be boring. And then just happens to be this actor guy who's also stuck on it. And he's so self-absorbed, he's going to stay and allow himself to be on camera is because he thinks this documentary

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  Leverage.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  might qualify for an Emmy or something.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  You know, some dumb reason like, all right, well, I'll be on camera. Because normally I've got a quote. But yeah, I was worried about doing something traumatizing to him for the rest of his life. This hero's journey, you know, if you're celebrating someone's good character or their humanity, this is a pretty unconventional way of doing it.

• 1:09:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:02Speaker 02

  Right? You're punching somebody in the face.

• 1:09:03Dax Shepard?

  And when they don't punch you back, you go, you are a good person.

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Exactly. There were conversations about, he seems to be a good sport. He seems to be handling it good and he talks to people afterwards and seems to be doing good. And I'm like, all right, well, just keep an eye on him because this doesn't. Feel good to me. I love playing with all the comedy and everything, but I'm just worried that this guy's gonna have a breakdown after this. So every day was like, all right, let's be nice to this guy first of all. In that audition scene, I could feel that the creative minds behind the show were kind of like, get him to act bad. But they weren't saying it. There's just a feeling.

• 1:09:33Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's right there.

• 1:09:33Speaker 02

  It's right there. Like you said.

• 1:09:35Dax Shepard?

  They've been writing comedy forever and it's very obvious this is the move.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  And I was like, I just can't do that to this guy. One, he's a great guy that I should be more like.

• 1:09:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  You know, and two, you punch him below the belt. It's not a level playing field.

• 1:09:50Dax Shepard?

  Yep. It actually was way better that he was good.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was great. And I got to play with him a little bit and like, it's kind of all about what I'm doing in this. And then once we start, I'm like, hey, can you adjust that just a little bit?

• 1:10:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  But I would always try to do it in a real way.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  You handled it so well.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  When you see in your mind, this project that you're working on, the best version of it, you're like, this is what we're going for. I don't know if we're gonna get there, but if I see that and I just kind of follow that, then I'm jumping out of bed in the morning to go to that fucking courtroom in downtown LA somewhere. And yeah, but I also kind of felt like, well, shit, I've really never been trained in improv, grounding stuff. I feel like I can do it because I've been such a fan of that for so long.

• 1:10:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  But I don't know if I can. We had a, boy, I don't even know if I'm allowed to say this, but I guess maybe there's a statute of limitations on what I can say. I'll check after. Okay. But we had a test run. We do the first day and that's it. And the judge comes out and is like, we settled, everyone go home. Just to kind of see, yeah, to burn it as a mulligan, a rehearsal, see if we can get to this first day. And the guy looked like he was having a nervous breakdown halfway through the day.

• 1:10:57Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:10:58Speaker 02

  Sweating.

• 1:10:59Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 1:10:59Speaker 02

  Because we did this bit where as he walks from the parking lot, after a little on the fly interview, he witnesses a woman pulling a stroller out of her car and she accidentally smashes the window of the car next to her. Well, it's all been planned, obviously. And that's the judge's car. And he witnesses it and a sweet guy comes over and like, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? And she's like, yeah, I'm just frazzled and I don't know what happened here. And he didn't know what to make of it because here he is like now, starting his first day on this documentary about jury duty and something really strange is happening. Then we get into the courtroom, judge leaves for a while, comes back with like a bandage around his hand. Someone, like Farrell's his father with a Chicago accident, broke into my car.

• 1:11:43Speaker 02

  Did anyone witness what happened to my car? Someone stole my Eagles CDs.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  Oh, no. Oh, my God.

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  It was a hilarious bit, but he was shitting himself and like beet red.

• 1:11:56Dax Shepard?

  This is a lot.

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  Sweating.

• 1:11:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  He turned to me and he just looked like he was really, really panicking. And he said, what do I do? I said, what do you mean? He was like, I saw it happen and the woman looked really nice, but I didn't know she would steal a CD. At that point in my head, I was like, okay, well, this is just a rehearsal and nothing's worth someone actually having a genuine.

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Coronary, right?

• 1:12:16Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:12:17Speaker 02

  And I just went, just maybe you'll tell the bailiff. I wasn't supposed to do that. I was supposed to continue on with what our narrative was.

• 1:12:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  I was like, nah.

• 1:12:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:26Dax Shepard?

  I, of course, was in that situation several times myself.

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Tell me, man, did you ever get into moments where you're like, I just don't think I can do this to somebody? You weren't deliberately mean.

• 1:12:35Dax Shepard?

  By the way, same thing. Often the premise was, and as the show went on and I had more leverage, I was less and less willing. I can give you a great example. It was one of the last episodes we shot. In fact, it was one of the only ones we ever shot after it aired. Because so many people were watching it, they were naturally afraid I couldn't do it anymore. So I had a wig and a mustache and all this stuff. And it was a NFL celebrity golf tournament. And I got there on the day and I had my wig on and I go, okay, so what's the bit? And I'm like, okay, you're gonna sit down with this guy. He just cheated on his wife. You're gonna bring that up? Cause they had been told you have to sit down for interviews at certain holes as part of this charity event. They were just all very mean. It was like airing people's dirty laundry. And I go, I'm not gonna do it. It was too late for them.

• 1:13:20Dax Shepard?

  I had enough leverage at that point. And they go, what the fuck are we gonna do? And I go, give me 20 minutes and I'll think of some shit. I convinced Jerome Bettis to tackle me on camera.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  The bus?

• 1:13:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the bus and pretended my back was broken and he believed it and panicked. So that was funny. Garcia, they wanted me to talk about him being gay, which was a rumor.

• 1:13:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:13:41Dax Shepard?

  And I'm like, I'm not doing that. So I told him, Mr. Garcia, you're listed as 6'2", 220. A lot of young people in America here trying to grow up and be you. But we just shook hands and I'm 5'9" and I'm taller than you. So how do you explain that? Why are you lying? And it becomes this whole thing. We're standing back to back, four guys defending his height, which is preposterous. I'm claiming I'm 5'9". And then another guy who I had heard had one of the bigger egos in the league. Every 40 seconds in the interview, I kept touching my ear like I had an earpiece in. I'm so sorry, we're going to, who are we going to? And I would list players that were much lower status than him. And I kept cutting away and then he kept giving up on the interview and I kept getting them back. I'm so, so sorry, that wasn't my choice.

• 1:14:26Dax Shepard?

  And I just do this over and over again. So, you know, that's what I came up with, but I'm not bringing out their dirty laundry or allegations that they're gay or all this other stuff that again, it's just low hanging.

• 1:14:35Speaker 02

  Right. And I'm sure that all of those guys are afterwards are like, ah, actually, you know what?

• 1:14:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. When Jerome Bettis finds out my back is not broken, he's delighted. He thought for a second, he's gonna get sued by some Canadian reporter in a wig.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  And it's celebrities. That's the inverse of what you're doing.

• 1:14:51Dax Shepard?

  The other thing I was gonna add is I was also far more desperate. You're already at a point where you've had a big career and you're financially fine. That was my first time on TV. So I was also willing, my moral standard was probably much lower than it would be today.

• 1:15:04Speaker 02

  I remember having this conversation with one of the producers who had also worked on Borat, you know, all of Sasha's stuff. And he was like, if you're a really good guy, this might not be for you.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:15:15Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  And he didn't say that directly at me, but it was kinda like, this is fucking hard. How you navigate getting the comedy people actually wanna see? Yes, it's at the expense of somebody. The nature of the show is that.

• 1:15:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. That's why this show was so awesome is Ronald just shined. It made you love him. I was happy for him that he got to display what a wonderful, beautiful human being is.

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:39Dax Shepard?

  I think everyone who saw it was like, I would love to be friends with that guy. That's a good person.

• 1:15:43Speaker 02

  And that's what actually happened was we all became actual friends during it because he was such a good guy and fun to be around. There were moments we were like, shit, I don't know if I can do this bit to him today cause he's gonna kinda go like, whoa, that's an asshole thing for you to do here? When we were just chatting about. All of our favorite movies and favorite childhood memories. And we would have real conversations in between the bits that we had hit that day.

• 1:16:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:16:11Speaker 02

  And then you sort of draw him in.

• 1:16:13Dax Shepard?

  And he draws you in.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  You do all the awful things, which is gain someone's trust. And then take a giant shit on it, literally.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  But did you talk to him after and were you like, hey, man, how are you?

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  I mean, I was the most nervous when Ike's father turned to him and said, this is all fake. And for a split second, I saw his eyes kind of go dark and scared for like a millisecond.

• 1:16:37Dax Shepard?

  Trying to compute, probably.

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. And I hated that.

• 1:16:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:41Speaker 02

  And I already knew what I was gonna do and we all were gonna do was storm the box where he was sitting and just let him know, yes, this is probably a lot to comprehend and to take in and process right now. But if you're wondering if all of this was real, this was all real and we adore you and love you. The last thing I want to do is like, okay, that was fun. Cool. See you around. Give me your number. Let's hang out.

• 1:17:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:02Speaker 02

  Let's have a wrap party. I don't even know if we were gonna do that at first. Like, let's have a fucking party with this guy.

• 1:17:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:08Speaker 02

  Reassure him that, yes, we took you along for a ride, but you are a shining star in this.

• 1:17:14Dax Shepard?

  Big time.

• 1:17:15Speaker 02

  And here's what the show's about. And it's about you, my friend. And everything about you that people are gonna love about you, we love about you. And so it was a love fest after that, because I really was like, is it gonna be an insult when we hold up a check for 150, whatever he got paid? Like, that lets us off the hook somehow.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:36Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:17:36Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:17:37Speaker 02

  Can the two coexist? Can we find really, really funny moments and have this be a comedy and also be kind?

• 1:17:42Dax Shepard?

  Can we be celebrating this dude while we're?

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:17:45Dax Shepard?

  In an organic way.

• 1:17:46Speaker 02

  It was the tightrope of all tightropes and it really landed. And we would have hated it. I did not like the second Borat. I was like, these are nice people who trusted him and offered to bring him in to the house and now we're.

• 1:17:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  He's brilliant at what he does, but if he's going into an antique shop and breaking everything in the antique shop, I'm sure most people out there will find that hilarious. And I was like, I know. But it's funny how when it's somebody you feel like deserves it.

• 1:18:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:13Speaker 02

  Or something, right? You're like, well, you know what? I'm more okay with it, but this guy was just so pure.

• 1:18:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Okay, so Paradise, I took a huge gamble last night and started watching the screeners that were sent to me with my whole family. The aforementioned 10 year old and her older sister who's 11, and then Kristen, you're the president. This is your second time being a president. You were JFK. Have you been a president a third time?

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  No, just two.

• 1:18:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that's a bad signal of your aging, by the way.

• 1:18:44Speaker 02

  That's plenty.

• 1:18:45Dax Shepard?

  Right? You know, when you get hired to be the president, you're like, okay, guys, I'm not 30 anymore.

• 1:18:49Speaker 02

  Yes, I'm not going to prom anymore.

• 1:18:51Dax Shepard?

  Sterling K. Brown is your secret service and Kristen, within about eight minutes, started going, my God, this chemistry is white hot.

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  I always wanted to kiss the chemistry so good.

• 1:19:06Dax Shepard?

  So first out of the gates was the chemistry between you guys is incredible. He's so awesome.

• 1:19:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's something else.

• 1:19:13Dax Shepard?

  What a fucking beast of an actor.

• 1:19:15Speaker 02

  Well, he's one of those Ed Harris's.

• 1:19:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:18Speaker 02

  He's one of those like, you were born to do this. And I found my favorite male physique.

• 1:19:23Speaker 01

  Oh, circles all the way back.

• 1:19:26Dax Shepard?

  We meet him with his shirt off, thank God. Well, you don't make me wait.

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  We like to hook him early.

• 1:19:30Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so right out of the gates, you're kind of a rogue president. You're young, you're rich before you even got there. You kind of want to coast through your next four years and crazy series of events happens. We're now flashing back for a lot of it, but the true premise of the show doesn't even hit us to the end. And my kids don't do well with blood and there is some blood and I'm reassuring them, I think this will be the only blood and then we're going to investigate this for most of this show, which they were able to get through. And then they were so fucking hooked that we had to stay up till midnight last night. Going on, Dan Fogelman wrote. Who did This Is Us, he did Crazy, Stupid Love, incredible writer.

• 1:20:15Dax Shepard?

  The premise of this is so radical. How can you explain the premise in a way that you're allowed to do?

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  That's tough. I've been actually coached on this.

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  That makes sense.

• 1:20:23Speaker 02

  I assumed. Cause you have to know that Dan Fogelman, one of his signatures is twists and turns. It's really an exploration of power dynamics, relationships, choices you make in life and loyalties. I speak like Nolan now and just speak really vaguely.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  The brain in the robe.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  About the brain in the robe on the Sistine Chapel.

• 1:20:42Dax Shepard?

  And can say this, you're in a community that appears to be designed. It made me think of, I know there's some communities like Gulf Shores, Alabama, where it's like, the whole thing was constructed to have its own convenience store and its own neighborhoods.

• 1:20:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, Little Pleasantville.

• 1:20:57Dax Shepard?

  That's a great one. It's very Truman Show. It's very Pleasantville and it just has the greatest turn at the end of the pilot.

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  You see the trailers and it's like, this is a political thriller and it's really not about politics.

• 1:21:12Dax Shepard?

  The only thing I didn't like about it was I'm watching how much you drink and smoke. And I'm like, we don't have this physique at 50 if we're drinking and smoking that hard. I mean, we do see you working out, so I guess you're pushing through like, oh, speaking of which, Mr. Dags, Mr. Dags.

• 1:21:30Speaker 02

  Oh, that's pretty damn good.

• 1:21:32Dax Shepard?

  That's pretty good.

• 1:21:32Speaker 02

  Pretty good.

• 1:21:33Dax Shepard?

  I heard you doing it and I was like, no, this guy's got the rhythm. He understands the essence. He knows about the spirit. He understands.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  Fucking really good. It's a tough one to do because the hardest impression is the one that everybody feels like they can do a little bit of Arnold and walk in. But that one's just like, how do you get the little extra bits in there? I did this movie with Woody Harrelson and he had just done True Detective with him. So he came to set with all these Matthewisms. And I just soaked it all up and like, no, he didn't say that. Yes, he did, brother. You wouldn't believe it. He said that. They're best pals.

• 1:22:06Dax Shepard?

  Say what you said to Woody though.

• 1:22:08Speaker 02

  What did I say to Woody?

• 1:22:09Dax Shepard?

  Cause I love that you spelled it out there.

• 1:22:11Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. He said, uh, why don't we head on over to my AIR stream? Make it M A R, Garita, blow your horns off.

• 1:22:21Dax Shepard?

  Blow your horns off. Yours is really solid. I think yours is the only one that I've heard that I think is really spot on.

• 1:22:30Speaker 02

  I just felt like everybody did it. Matt Damon's pretty great. He does one. Yeah, he does one. But that's sort of making the viral rounds. Three years later or something, people are like, oh, you did a great McConaughey. And three or four months ago, I think Matthew posted it on his Instagram. I'm like, oh, wow, that's kind of cool. And no, he does it like Marge. And Marge has got, you gotta go check it out and do the ashes and the whole thing. That's pretty fucking cool. All right, I'll take it.

• 1:22:53Dax Shepard?

  I know. I've struggled with the fact that I've kind of become buddies with him. And I'm like, am I supposed to hang this up? Or am I going to keep pushing? I've decided to keep pushing. I've even sent him messages as him.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  He's got a great sense of humor about it. He leans into it. It's a green light. Well, yeah, he's another one that's in shape.

• 1:23:08Dax Shepard?

  That's what made me think of it. Cause my first conversation with him was I said, listen, I'm overly obsessed with drinking because I'm an ex addict. And I've got a handful of people where I'm like, did they slide through? Are they the one unicorn? I go, I know the stories of you drinking and I know you're up at five working out. Do you just have some kind of constitution? He goes, yeah, I guess I got a constitution. Some of my favorite workouts, I wake up hungover and I push through and then, you know, you feel that break. And you're on the other side of it. Those are some of my favorite workouts. Cause at night when I'm going to go for it, I look in the mirror and I say, we're going to go hard tonight, but you're going to wake up tomorrow morning. You're going to hit that jam. You're going to do eight miles.

• 1:23:48Dax Shepard?

  And that's how it's going to be. He makes a deal with himself. And I'm like, yeah, you just have a fucking constitution. I didn't have it. I slept till two.

• 1:23:57Speaker 02

  Some people can just do that.

• 1:23:59Dax Shepard?

  I think he's totally normal now, but he used to go hard and he'd show up for everything and he looked fucking great. So you're right, it could be done. This president could be McConaughey.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  I didn't think about that. Maybe he's got the waking up at five a.m. The treadmill, get on the booty burner.

• 1:24:16Speaker 02

  Burn off these hell bees and creeping around the wayside.

• 1:24:20Dax Shepard?

  I can't really describe the show other than to say it's fantastic. When you pulled up, we were watching it midday. It's the holidays, so they're not at school. I can promise you, we'll have binged this entire thing within 48 hours. It's a fucking banger of a show.

• 1:24:36Speaker 02

  That's awesome. I appreciate that. And I've had this tickle in my throat for three weeks. A long time. Annoying because my voice is not fully there.

• 1:24:45Speaker 01

  It still sounds really nice.

• 1:24:46Dax Shepard?

  Well, and I just made you do McConaughey.

• 1:24:47Speaker 02

  You can kind of use the voice for that one.

• 1:24:49Dax Shepard?

  Do you have a word that gets you into it? Because mine is, first time I talked to him, he came up to me, he was behind me, said, Mr. Dags, Mr. Dags.

• 1:24:56Speaker 02

  Mr. Dags. S's, isn't it?

• 1:24:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:59Speaker 02

  The old Texas whistle.

• 1:25:02Speaker 01

  Really good.

• 1:25:02Dax Shepard?

  But back to Nolan, it has a lot of parallels with Fallout. A lot of these shows are starting to tackle in subversive ways, income inequality. Everyone's got the sense, it's like, wait, some people are living one way in this country and the rest are living dramatically different. And I think art's starting to tackle that in a not so obvious way, but in other ways.

• 1:25:23Speaker 02

  That's the answer I wish I had in my mouth when you asked me what the show is. Because that's really it. It's class, it's power dynamics, it's giving everybody a snapshot of like, what if? And is this happening now? Again, you watch the trailer and like, okay, this looks like a murder mystery. I'm laying there dead.

• 1:25:39Dax Shepard?

  The murder's a mislead, it's an appetizer.

• 1:25:41Speaker 02

  It's the backdrop. So it's a tough one to talk about for sure without spoiling it.

• 1:25:45Dax Shepard?

  How've we done, Monica? Do you want to watch it?

• 1:25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, very badly.

• 1:25:48Speaker 02

  Or she's like, I don't care. I don't know anything. Neither one of you said anything about the show.

• 1:25:54Speaker 01

  No, it sounds exciting.

• 1:25:56Speaker 02

  Sterling, I guess.

• 1:25:57Speaker 01

  Sterling has his shirt off.

• 1:25:58Dax Shepard?

  Titles, paradise. I think I got that part, right?

• 1:26:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:03Dax Shepard?

  Well, that son of a bitch is on Hulu.

• 1:26:05Speaker 02

  That son of a bitch.

• 1:26:06Dax Shepard?

  That son of a bitch, that's streaming.

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  Son of a bitch on Hulu, you can see he's streaming, streaming. You can stream it.

• 1:26:13Dax Shepard?

  You can air stream. Stream, stream.

• 1:26:17Speaker 02

  Yes, on Hulu, officially the hardest project to talk about, maybe other than Westworld.

• 1:26:22Dax Shepard?

  This is your niche. Shit, you gotta go out and promote and can't.

• 1:26:25Speaker 02

  Great. And I don't have the brain to do it anyway. I can't tell you.

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:26:30Speaker 02

  So I have no answer for your question. It's filled with some good twists and turns and there's a little lost in there as well. The audience is gonna be trying to figure out what the hell is going on through the whole thing.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  Is it a week to week drop or are they all out? Do we know? Cause that makes a difference in a mystery.

• 1:26:48Speaker 02

  Contact at the all Hulu. I think they're dropping the first two or three and then you're gonna have to wait every week. Which, give me your thoughts on that.

• 1:26:58Speaker 01

  I like it. I'm back to liking it.

• 1:27:00Dax Shepard?

  I hate it and prefer it.

• 1:27:01Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:27:02Dax Shepard?

  Cause I'm annoyed. And then I love that it gives me 10 weeks of enjoyment instead of one night.

• 1:27:10Speaker 01

  Something to look forward to.

• 1:27:11Speaker 02

  I'm gonna sound really old now, but when you live in the world where you can just get it whenever the hell you want it. No one's being told no anymore. Like, there's a good thing to limits. Even in entertainment, I think is a good thing too. Like, you know, when the Beatles came out.

• 1:27:24Dax Shepard?

  You didn't get all their albums at once.

• 1:27:25Speaker 02

  You didn't get them at once. Probably impossible to see them live.

• 1:27:28Dax Shepard?

  You got a couple of songs before the album even came out. Like, it built up to now I can go get the whole album.

• 1:27:34Speaker 02

  Or movies back in the day where they would come out and you would have to wait six months to see it again. I feel like there's something about the psychology of that that makes us enjoy it more. Or you even think something's better than it is because of that.

• 1:27:46Dax Shepard?

  It's delayed gratification, which ultimately is always good. But if you don't buy into that, just fucking wait till March 28th. They'll all be out and then you can sit down and plow through. Options yours.

• 1:27:56Speaker 02

  You can do whatever you want at that point if you really wanna fly through it.

• 1:27:59Dax Shepard?

  However you wanna consume it, consume it. Well, Mars, and this has been a blast. I love bumping into you.

• 1:28:03Speaker 02

  We as actors, I feel like we're kind of somewhat solitary lives or can until the award shows, the events that everybody goes to.

• 1:28:10Dax Shepard?

  Which is the weirdest place to meet someone.

• 1:28:11Speaker 02

  Always the weirdest. It's like, oh, hey bud, hey bud. And everything feels.

• 1:28:14Speaker 01

  Contrived a little bit.

• 1:28:16Speaker 02

  A little bit.

• 1:28:16Dax Shepard?

  Well, you know, the most telling thing I walked away with after the Golden Globes this year is I just. Had this moment where I realized, oh, everyone I talked to told me I looked great. And I told everyone they looked great. And that's a weird thing, but everyone's nervous. They don't look good.

• 1:28:35Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:28:35Dax Shepard?

  Cause they're gonna be in photos and then on TV. So it's like, you wanna comfort everyone you see. You look great and they're saying you look great. And then I leave and I'm like, these are some of the greatest artists in the world. And what we're telling you, we look great.

• 1:28:46Speaker 02

  I imagine that must be in sufferable.

• 1:28:48Speaker 01

  It's just a lot. I think it's a good note. That is what everyone's afraid of. That's the insecurity at those things.

• 1:28:56Dax Shepard?

  I wanted to go like, I'm in a tux. I don't even deserve that. I look the way I look at every one of these. I can't look good or bad.

• 1:29:02Speaker 02

  The way you feel about that is the reason why I want to rush to your side at these events. Cause they're like, this is a real human being. So it's nice to see you outside of all this BS that we do.

• 1:29:14Dax Shepard?

  I didn't tell you, you looked great when I saw you at F1.

• 1:29:16Speaker 02

  Please don't.

• 1:29:17Dax Shepard?

  By the way, you always look great.

• 1:29:18Speaker 01

  I know. You don't even have to say it.

• 1:29:20Speaker 02

  No, the easiest path to my heart is insult me.

• 1:29:23Dax Shepard?

  I can be honest. There's one thing I did think at F1 a few times. I had this, I was like, Marsden's kinda classy.

• 1:29:32Dax Shepard?

  I literally had that thought. I was like, he's like, kinda dressed pretty nice at this thing and he's got like a nice watch. I think he's classier than me.

• 1:29:38Speaker 01

  He represented a watch. That's classy as hell.

• 1:29:42Speaker 02

  Woke up in a dark room and fell into a closet. Yeah. It's a race. Why am I wearing a pinstriped seersucker?

• 1:29:51Dax Shepard?

  Cause you look rad.

• 1:29:51Speaker 01

  Why would I?

• 1:29:52Dax Shepard?

  All right, James. Do your buddies ever call you Jimmy?

• 1:29:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. So can I apply when I see you? Can I call you Jimmy?

• 1:29:59Speaker 02

  You may. I don't know why or when I changed that. I mean, name was always James, but I grew up, my mother, my brothers, sisters called me Jimmy. And then when I got to LA, I was in that phase where you wanna be serious. Yeah, I gotta be taken seriously. So I don't wanna be in the Teeny Bop magazine. So I'm gonna be James.

• 1:30:15Speaker 01

  Little Jimmy Mars.

• 1:30:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think the first year I was here, the projects I did do, like Boogie's Diner with Jim J. Bullock, which is like a Saved by the Bell knockoff. It was billing as Jimmy Marsden. So when I hear somebody say Jimmy, I'm like, oh, that person. Person's known me for a long time.

• 1:30:33Dax Shepard?

  It isn't it this the most subtle way to reclaim and integrate who you were? That's what I think is sweet about it. You come here, you're trying to hide who you were because you're afraid that that would expose you as not belonging here. And then at a certain point, you have some confidence and you go, I'm going to start reintegrating the person I tried to distance myself from as a kid. I think that's like part of your journey as a man.

• 1:30:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I totally see that. Why am I shoving that aside? Oh, Jimmy, I'm not trying to be so serious anymore. And it wasn't that silly.

• 1:31:03Dax Shepard?

  Well, Jimmy, I can't wait. Yeah.

• 1:31:06Speaker 02

  Well, DS.

• 1:31:10Dax Shepard?

  All right, we'll come back. This was a blast.

• 1:31:11Speaker 02

  I absolutely will, and hopefully have my whole full voice when I return.

• 1:31:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I can't wait. The whole interview will be McConaughey. You might get that one out.

• 1:31:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:23Speaker 02

  That wasn't riveting to you?

• 1:31:24Speaker 01

  No, I love it. I can only handle it in small chunks.

• 1:31:27Dax Shepard?

  She works with me every day and I'm constantly doing somebody's voice. I'm like her little brother and her dad. It's very confusing.

• 1:31:36Speaker 01

  A lot of dynamics at play.

• 1:31:38Speaker 02

  So you've got a frequency for him that you can kind of turn down?

• 1:31:42Speaker 01

  I should tune it fully out.

• 1:31:45Dax Shepard?

  And it's so obvious. I didn't see in her face the second I've lost her, which is quite regularly. All right, well, be well, everyone. Check out Paradise.

• 1:31:52Speaker 05

  He is an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts.

• 1:32:01Dax Shepard?

  Do you feel extra fresh on your way to this award show? To look extra stylish?

• 1:32:09Speaker 01

  That's a great.

• 1:32:10Dax Shepard?

  Does it feel like you look extra stylish?

• 1:32:12Speaker 01

  Because of my big pants.

• 1:32:13Dax Shepard?

  You were wearing an Inclamant Weather jacket when you came in that you denied was a rain jacket.

• 1:32:19Speaker 01

  Look, I understand why you think it's a rain jacket.

• 1:32:22Dax Shepard?

  Because of the noise it was making. It was a.

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, kind of windbreaker-y material-ish.

• 1:32:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:29Speaker 01

  I bought it vintage, so it could have been arranged.

• 1:32:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, great.

• 1:32:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, sustainable.

• 1:32:34Dax Shepard?

  Sustainable.

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:36Dax Shepard?

  Doing your part. Do better.

• 1:32:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, so BTS, I'm going from this. Thank you. You rearranged the time a couple of times, which is very nice.

• 1:32:47Dax Shepard?

  Didn't mind one bit.

• 1:32:48Speaker 01

  Because you're betrothed.

• 1:32:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  Kristen is hosting the SAG Awards this year.

• 1:32:56Dax Shepard?

  Correct. The Screen Actors Guild's Awards.

• 1:32:59Speaker 01

  That's right. And she asked if I could come in.

• 1:33:04Dax Shepard?

  Once again, return.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  That's right, because she was the first host ever.

• 1:33:09Dax Shepard?

  2018.

• 1:33:10Speaker 01

  That's right. And so I, you know, wrote her stuff back then. And so she asked if I could come.

• 1:33:17Dax Shepard?

  Out of retirement.

• 1:33:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. And do that for her. And of course, I said, yes. So we are about to go shoot a promo for it.

• 1:33:25Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:33:26Speaker 01

  I didn't really think about being extra stylish, because it's not a fashion campaign.

• 1:33:31Dax Shepard?

  No, but it's, um, I don't know. It's a shoot.

• 1:33:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, yeah. I mean, maybe subconsciously.

• 1:33:40Dax Shepard?

  Subconsciously.

• 1:33:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:42Dax Shepard?

  New group of people, minimally, you want to put your best foot forward.

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want to be cool.

• 1:33:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:50Speaker 01

  Well, I'm tired.

• 1:33:51Dax Shepard?

  Oh, great. Me too. Why are you tired?

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  I'm tired because of a big ding ding ding.

• 1:33:56Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 1:33:57Speaker 01

  I started Paradise last night. This is for, this is for little Jimmy Marsden.

• 1:34:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, baby Jimmy Marsden.

• 1:34:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:05Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:34:06Speaker 01

  The first three episodes are on Hulu.

• 1:34:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  And I was so in.

• 1:34:12Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:34:13Speaker 01

  Yes, I was so in. And then I panicked because I needed more.

• 1:34:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:34:19Speaker 01

  We have screeners.

• 1:34:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:21Speaker 01

  We're lucky enough to have screeners. And even though it is my stance, like with Severance, that I don't, I learned, quote, learned my lesson from Only Murders in the Building. And because I watched all of those in one night.

• 1:34:34Dax Shepard?

  No, you didn't delay your gratification enough.

• 1:34:36Speaker 01

  I didn't, because they only give you so many. And then you have to wait a really long time. So I promised to myself I wasn't going to do that with Severance, and I haven't.

• 1:34:45Dax Shepard?

  Good job.

• 1:34:46Speaker 01

  But with Paradise, I did. I watched all of it, except.

• 1:34:52Dax Shepard?

  All of it.

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  I didn't know they were going to do the same thing. They always do this. It's not the end.

• 1:34:58Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:34:59Speaker 01

  Again, I only have seven episodes.

• 1:35:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, oh, that version. I thought you were saying that the season finale ended on a cliffhanger or something without a resolution.

• 1:35:09Speaker 01

  No, there's eight episodes. We got seven.

• 1:35:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, well, this happened, of course, with Severance.

• 1:35:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:16Dax Shepard?

  And then we started hounding Adam. Well, actually, when we did the podcast, they offered to get us the remaining three, but then that never happened.

• 1:35:24Speaker 01

  Right. I mean, those are under real lock and key, I gotta assume.

• 1:35:27Dax Shepard?

  Well, that brings me to another thing, actually, remaining four. So anyways, we've been hounding him, leaving aggressive messages, and I think they just came in, but they came in in a different screening platform, which every time, I know it's such a baby thing to complain about, but it takes sometimes 90 minutes to sign into these screening apps because you have to use the Google Authenticator, you gotta get a text, you gotta do a magic link to another website. You're on your phone, but you realize an email's come through and you need to see the email, but you follow the link through the original email. So to go, so you need like two or three devices going at once. All to say, I'm finally in on Apple Screeners and it's easy, but the next batch are on a different one.

• 1:36:10Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:36:11Dax Shepard?

  So that's almost been a hurdle enough for me to slow it down.

• 1:36:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:15Dax Shepard?

  Well, not almost, it has been.

• 1:36:16Speaker 01

  I watched the first two. I'm caught up on Severance.

• 1:36:20Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:36:20Speaker 01

  And.

• 1:36:21Dax Shepard?

  You're not ahead at all.

• 1:36:22Speaker 01

  God, it's good.

• 1:36:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's a goodie.

• 1:36:24Speaker 01

  It's so good.

• 1:36:26Dax Shepard?

  But you love, though, Paradise.

• 1:36:28Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 1:36:30Dax Shepard?

  What a hook, right?

• 1:36:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, we ran into this problem in the episode where you can't really say anything.

• 1:36:36Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 1:36:36Speaker 01

  Um, so that's just frustrating for people, but I'll just say I watched seven episodes last night.

• 1:36:42Dax Shepard?

  That says a lot. I think that's enough of a testament to how good it is.

• 1:36:45Speaker 01

  And everyone's great. He's great in it.

• 1:36:48Dax Shepard?

  Jimmy Marsden?

• 1:36:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:36:49Dax Shepard?

  Yes, of course.

• 1:36:50Speaker 01

  He really, he really.

• 1:36:52Dax Shepard?

  I told, I was saying, you know, he's just legitimately good.

• 1:36:56Speaker 01

  He is. He is very natural and he plays that character very well.

• 1:37:02Dax Shepard?

  But I love that he was acknowledging, he's like, I just think I'm acting like.

• 1:37:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like, I'm always acting.

• 1:37:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that was really refreshing because you can also be. Really good, even if you have that feeling.

• 1:37:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:37:16Dax Shepard?

  You can let yourself off the hook.

• 1:37:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:18Dax Shepard?

  I don't think everyone's having the experience that Dan Lewis and, you know, some of these others are having.

• 1:37:24Speaker 01

  I know. We don't know. Maybe he feels like that, too.

• 1:37:27Dax Shepard?

  Dan Lewis?

• 1:37:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:28Dax Shepard?

  Well, he is acting. I mean, he,

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  Well, exactly.

• 1:37:31Dax Shepard?

  He's not even, yeah, there's no him there. If ever there was some acting.

• 1:37:36Speaker 01

  Morphing.

• 1:37:37Dax Shepard?

  He's morphing. He's channeling. He's transcending.

• 1:37:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:41Dax Shepard?

  He's got a liberal arts education. I want to give a shout out to Lincoln. She, they had their last soccer game last night and they had a perfect, they achieved their perfect season.

• 1:37:52Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:37:52Dax Shepard?

  Zero goals.

• 1:37:53Speaker 01

  Zero.

• 1:37:54Dax Shepard?

  They didn't, they didn't.

• 1:37:55Speaker 01

  Goals?

• 1:37:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, zero. They scored zero times and it got close. I got scared. There was a, there was finally a kick on goal last night and it almost went in. I kind of panicked like, oh, don't, don't mess up your record.

• 1:38:08Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:38:08Dax Shepard?

  And, um, but what's great is I think the girls too had a good sense of humor about it that, you know, they, they joked about having a perfect season at this point.

• 1:38:16Speaker 01

  Funny.

• 1:38:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. But this, this is tied in because a good friend of mine who works at HBO was there and he was talking about having just watched episode eight of White Lotus.

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:38:30Dax Shepard?

  I had an envy. It brewed up in me.

• 1:38:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:38:35Speaker 01

  He's so loud. He's gonna be killed.

• 1:38:37Dax Shepard?

  Well, he's, he's the producer. He has to watch them.

• 1:38:41Speaker 01

  Said it. He's gonna be killed. This is an Easter egg for an upcoming episode.

• 1:38:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, truly.

• 1:38:47Speaker 01

  Couple of episodes from now.

• 1:38:49Dax Shepard?

  Five or six episodes from now.

• 1:38:50Speaker 01

  So TV is doing great right now.

• 1:38:52Dax Shepard?

  It's doing great. We're fine. We have some big shows coming back, which is a huge relief. I felt like it slowed down quite a bit there, but we got some offerings now and I feel comforted by that. I do want to do 40 seconds of naval gazing and then I'm gonna, I'll, I'll table all the naval gazing for some period. But people, as you would probably guess,

• 1:39:14Dax Shepard?

  A lot of people felt very strongly with the point of view you were making. I guess it would be two fact checks ago. Aaron was previous fact check. When we had our discussion about being authentic and sharing feelings.

• 1:39:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:27Dax Shepard?

  And versus entertaining and in a respite.

• 1:39:32Dax Shepard?

  So, you know, people supported us on both sides.

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I support us on both sides.

• 1:39:37Dax Shepard?

  Me too. I only want to be clear about one thing. Neither of us are pitching all sadness or all entertainment. We're both pitching some balance.

• 1:39:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:49Dax Shepard?

  And I think most importantly, people should know there's no pressure for us to be making it anything.

• 1:39:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:56Dax Shepard?

  Some people were nervous about that. My goal is for it to have the balance it's always had. And I know it's your goal too. We both have the same goal of having the balance we've always had.

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:06Dax Shepard?

  And then we have differing opinions on, you know, sometimes.

• 1:40:09Speaker 01

  To me, it will hopefully, and not always, but I trust that it will always strike that balance because of the nature of our dynamics. So even when there's sadness or bad things or hard things, we talk about that. But then something funny will come up or something light will come up too. And that's life and that's the truth to us. And so.

• 1:40:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay. And then the last thing is, and I've said this before, probably in interviews and stuff. And I don't know if I've ever said it explicitly on here. There are people saying really heartfelt and moving things like, you have to understand, we value your perspective on this. It helps us process the thing going on. And I mean, mostly people are feeling that way about me not commenting or spending a lot of time on the election or, or the first week.

• 1:41:00Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:41:01Dax Shepard?

  I just want people to understand why that's my position, which is I would never want a young dude who voted for Trump, who's a sexual abuse survivor, do not feel welcome here. I would not want an addict that voted for Trump to not feel welcome here.

• 1:41:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:21Dax Shepard?

  My, I just have a certain purpose that's clear to me and.

• 1:41:27Dax Shepard?

  Part of that purpose is I don't want anyone to feel unwelcome.

• 1:41:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:31Dax Shepard?

  And I think if I hunkered down on either side of the political spectrum, I would just be kind of disinviting half the people. And so I hope people understand that's where it's coming from. It's not like just an obstinance or a, is that the right word?

• 1:41:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Uh, and I want to talk about it. It's just, I want everyone to feel welcome.

• 1:41:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:48Dax Shepard?

  That's it for me.

• 1:41:49Speaker 01

  To me, and if you, if you take it from the perspective of this is a sort of an AA meeting type setup, then yeah, you would never, I don't think, say you can't come here.

• 1:42:03Dax Shepard?

  Right. Anyway, that was my navel gazing.

• 1:42:05Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 1:42:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I can move on now.

• 1:42:06Speaker 01

  Well, back to paradise. Um, little Jimmy's fantastic. And now I feel comfortable calling him that after watching.

• 1:42:15Dax Shepard?

  After watching, so yeah, yeah, yeah. Did it make you want to smoke and drink?

• 1:42:19Speaker 01

  No, well, I already drank, so I got that one down.

• 1:42:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:42:22Speaker 01

  It did not make me want to smoke.

• 1:42:25Dax Shepard?

  Don't tell you about my, one of my favorite birthday presents I got.

• 1:42:27Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:42:28Dax Shepard?

  From Matt and Laura.

• 1:42:29Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:42:30Dax Shepard?

  It's a wooden box.

• 1:42:32Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:42:32Dax Shepard?

  With a glass face.

• 1:42:34Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:42:34Dax Shepard?

  And a little hammer. And the glass says, break in case of emergency.

• 1:42:39Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:42:39Dax Shepard?

  And behind it is a pack of Camel cigarettes.

• 1:42:42Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 1:42:43Dax Shepard?

  Isn't that great?

• 1:42:44Speaker 01

  Great.

• 1:42:45Dax Shepard?

  What a great gift.

• 1:42:46Speaker 01

  That's a really.

• 1:42:47Dax Shepard?

  Really cracks me up and I like it.

• 1:42:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:49Dax Shepard?

  And I will break it in case if like something. If they go, the meteor is going to hit Earth in eight hours. I'm going to get it, rip them out.

• 1:42:57Speaker 01

  I know. I've been thinking about what to do in the last hour.

• 1:43:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, uh huh.

• 1:43:05Speaker 01

  If some bad event is happening.

• 1:43:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:07Speaker 01

  Do I try to get to safety? Well, this like Jess and I were talking about the, or maybe we talked about it here also. But during the fires, we were thinking, you know, who, oh, we said it with Josh, on Josh Gad's episode. Like, who are you on the Titanic? Which person are you?

• 1:43:23Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:43:24Speaker 01

  Are you the person who's really trying to figure out how to get off?

• 1:43:28Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:43:29Speaker 01

  Are you the person helping arrange people to get off? Are you those people who just, they're like drinking wine as it's going down? I mean, we sort of said that was going to be us.

• 1:43:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I was like, I'll be playing the cello still.

• 1:43:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I wonder, I wonder.

• 1:43:46Dax Shepard?

  What you would do.

• 1:43:47Speaker 01

  What I would do. And if I'm going to try to like, save myself or.

• 1:43:54Speaker 01

  Just like, you know what?

• 1:43:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's been a great ride. For Eric and I, this topic comes up in, for Eric and I, it's always so simple, so clear to us. How you'd want to die? You just want to OD on opiates because you'd be feeling very blissful and then you just wouldn't wake up.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. That's probably. Most addicts kind of have the same. I hear people, well, I guess I'd want to, I guess get shot that's fast or, you know, die and then fall off a building. Or I don't want to drown. And I'm like, what about a nice gentle send off? I think that's the preferred.

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  I kind of agree.

• 1:44:28Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I've done some doctoring on myself.

• 1:44:31Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:44:31Dax Shepard?

  As I tend to do. And I think I was complaining about it last fact check. I've been seemingly sick for like eight weeks, something like this. And then when we were in Mexico, it's the elevation's quite high. So my nose was kind of bloody and dry. And then, and when I got back, it was really, really bad. And so I was like, what, what cold do I have? I was thinking, thinking, thinking, and all of a sudden it occurred to me. Yesterday morning, I'm like, oh my gosh, you know what might be happening? I started thinking of my nasal passage as like an anal fissure.

• 1:44:59Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:45:00Dax Shepard?

  Like I blew it out so bad, honk, honk, honk. You know, I'm really going at it. Try, you know?

• 1:45:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:45:10Dax Shepard?

  Way too aggressively. We're like, I, I had my eye bulged out at one point in Mexico.

• 1:45:15Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:45:16Dax Shepard?

  It's like, we gotta, we gotta throttle back on this exhaust because it's pushing on your eyes or whatever. So it occurred to me, maybe I just like, I have a lot of damage in there. The body's sending white blood cells to heal it, which is snot. And then I'm honking that out a second. And I'm just in this endless loop of trying to repair. So yesterday I'm like, you're no longer allowed to blow your nose. And Monica, of all the things I've done, quit cigarette, you know, anything. This one's crazy hard.

• 1:45:48Speaker 01

  What about?

• 1:45:49Dax Shepard?

  Cause I've been blowing, it's definitely a tic now. It's definitely like anytime I feel it, I have to do it. It's a thing.

• 1:45:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:56Dax Shepard?

  And I have to just not blow my nose. I of course did have to blow my nose because it's still building up.

• 1:46:03Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. How about twice a day?

• 1:46:05Dax Shepard?

  I probably hit it about six times yesterday.

• 1:46:08Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:46:08Dax Shepard?

  But down from probably 600 the day before.

• 1:46:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:12Dax Shepard?

  And so, and I'm only allowed to basically go like. Like if I have to blow harder than that to get it out, I'm not allowed.

• 1:46:19Speaker 01

  Oh, I see. So that's.

• 1:46:21Dax Shepard?

  I can even just like talk a lot and say, hopefully I'll just, you know.

• 1:46:25Speaker 01

  And are you worried stuff's gonna start coming out?

• 1:46:28Dax Shepard?

  Of course. Yeah. And guess what? It's not. And already it stopped dripping as much.

• 1:46:33Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:46:33Dax Shepard?

  So I really think thus far, this diagnosis might be on.

• 1:46:38Speaker 01

  I think that's good.

• 1:46:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:40Speaker 01

  Is it bad to have tissues right there? That feels very taunting.

• 1:46:43Dax Shepard?

  Right. Like a little mirror and a straw.

• 1:46:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not very, you should move that out.

• 1:46:49Dax Shepard?

  My old friend. I'd be so happy to say goodbye to that old friend.

• 1:46:54Speaker 01

  I mean, we did, we've talked about this. You are obsessed with the tissue box. Like for you, that's a, that is an indicator of whether it's a nice hotel or not.

• 1:47:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yes.

• 1:47:05Speaker 01

  And I've never noticed it. I never noticed it.

• 1:47:08Dax Shepard?

  It's also, it is reared itself in like photos I'll take in post. And I think people sometimes call out like I, it looks a little perverse to always have a box of tissues with you.

• 1:47:20Speaker 01

  Oh, my.

• 1:47:21Dax Shepard?

  It looks like I'm always about to or just finished self-pleasuring.

• 1:47:27Speaker 01

  Do you have a deviated septum?

• 1:47:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Go to show what an addict I am. Like I can even get addicted to like blowing my nose.

• 1:47:35Speaker 01

  I am proud of you for noticing and stopping and I will say I'm grateful.

• 1:47:46Speaker 01

  It's a lot to cut around. And I, on video, it wasn't an issue before, but now we're seeing it. And so I do have to tell, I do have to make it clear. Like never be on a shot.

• 1:48:01Dax Shepard?

  You just.

• 1:48:02Speaker 01

  You can never be on a shot when Dax is blowing his nose. I've made that clear.

• 1:48:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that's one of the edicts to the editors. Okay. Um, it did just make me think you don't, you almost never see anyone blow their nose in a movie.

• 1:48:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:16Dax Shepard?

  Unless they're playing.

• 1:48:16Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:48:17Dax Shepard?

  Super sick.

• 1:48:19Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:48:19Dax Shepard?

  And it's very achy.

• 1:48:20Speaker 01

  And they're over the top. They're like tongue acting with their nose.

• 1:48:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they're like this. They're like, oh, honey, did you bring up? Did you bring the, their nose, their voice is always like, no, I didn't. I was on, I wasn't able to stop and get it.

• 1:48:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:34Dax Shepard?

  You know, it's more of a.

• 1:48:35Speaker 01

  You booked it.

• 1:48:36Dax Shepard?

  I booked it.

• 1:48:37Speaker 01

  You booked it.

• 1:48:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I know. Thank you. Thank you.

• 1:48:39Speaker 01

  That was good.

• 1:48:40Dax Shepard?

  And occasionally you'll see this too. You'll see in a movie, you'll see a woman go into a purse and then.

• 1:48:46Speaker 01

  Of course, she's very sad. She's very sad.

• 1:48:49Dax Shepard?

  But I can't think of a time I've seen Robert De Niro blow his nose. Is it really unsettling when, when you've seen it on video? Cause obviously I've never seen it. Is it like my drumming phase?

• 1:48:59Speaker 01

  I don't like it.

• 1:49:00Dax Shepard?

  It's a bad look.

• 1:49:01Speaker 01

  I, I mean, no one wants the, it's like you just said, we don't see it. So it's very, it is like, I'm not supposed to see that.

• 1:49:11Dax Shepard?

  It's like someone wiping their butt.

• 1:49:12Speaker 01

  And it feels like, oh wow, he just like, really just doesn't give a fuck.

• 1:49:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, sure. There's like some subtext to it.

• 1:49:21Speaker 01

  He just really doesn't care, but that's not it. Of course. It's just that you're in the zone.

• 1:49:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it's going to start rolling out of my nose.

• 1:49:30Speaker 01

  But it is a, I have noticed and I do think it's gotten

• 1:49:33Dax Shepard?

  Worse.

• 1:49:33Speaker 01

  Worse or more. I wouldn't say worse, but.

• 1:49:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think it's okay to label something worse.

• 1:49:40Speaker 01

  More. And um, so I'm, I'm, I am personally delighted.

• 1:49:45Dax Shepard?

  It, the, this, the human battle just doesn't quit.

• 1:49:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:49:49Dax Shepard?

  It won't end.

• 1:49:50Speaker 01

  I want to give you a compliment. I think you often in life come to the right conclusions about things. But I do think it takes you a long time.

• 1:50:05Speaker 01

  But I always.

• 1:50:05Dax Shepard?

  In this case, like two months, I gotta be uncomfortable and miserable for a while.

• 1:50:09Speaker 01

  Right. I, I just think you do get there. Like I have, I do know this as a pattern. Again, um, I was talking to Jess, obviously. Well, I did something sort of mean to him because he's my brother, right? So wow, this is such a ding ding ding. He has this amazing job. He runs this business with this other guy and it's a service business. He teach, he goes to restaurants and teaches people how to

• 1:50:33Dax Shepard?

  Give good service.

• 1:50:34Speaker 01

  Perfect service. And it's incredible and it's doing so well.

• 1:50:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's so good.

• 1:50:38Speaker 01

  I'm so proud of him.

• 1:50:39Dax Shepard?

  That's great.

• 1:50:40Speaker 01

  It's really awesome. But you know, when he, he does use like classes for them and he's just like, it's very like animated and loud and.

• 1:50:48Dax Shepard?

  It's an improv class.

• 1:50:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. And he's very on for all of it. So he is struggling with his voice.

• 1:50:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:50:58Speaker 01

  And, and he's been complaining about it a lot. And so I said, well, what are we gonna do? We should like, you know, grether's, I also offered that here.

• 1:51:07Dax Shepard?

  Throat coat.

• 1:51:08Speaker 01

  Throat coat, maybe a medicine, but he's just been complaining a lot about it understandably. This is where my impatience comes in.

• 1:51:16Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:51:16Speaker 01

  We were gonna hang out, so we FaceTimed and the first thing he said was like, oh, my voice. And I said, well, I can't hear that again.

• 1:51:28Speaker 01

  And I'm lucky, I'm lucky, but I also, this is the conversation I want to get to. I know he can take that.

• 1:51:39Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:51:40Speaker 01

  And he did. He just like sat there for a second and, and he said, okay, I'm fixed. And I said, I'm not saying that, but also like, we do need to figure it out.

• 1:51:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:51:50Speaker 01

  Or we can't complain anymore.

• 1:51:53Dax Shepard?

  It's time to get into solution, as we would say.

• 1:51:55Speaker 01

  Exactly. This is one thing I love about him. He like brought that up as a positive thing. And he was, and he said, I feel, I feel really lucky that you feel you can be that way with me or say a thing that is true.

• 1:52:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:09Speaker 01

  And he said, do you do that with everyone?

• 1:52:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:12Speaker 01

  Seventy-five percent is the same, but there's like a 25% that's adapting to who I'm around.

• 1:52:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:21Speaker 01

  So I'm not saying that phrase to everyone.

• 1:52:25Dax Shepard?

  For sure.

• 1:52:27Speaker 01

  And, but I would.

• 1:52:29Dax Shepard?

  I would argue it's, it's pretty gendered too. Like I think your dad gets it, your brother gets it, I gets it, Jess gets it, and yeah, your mom gets it.

• 1:52:39Speaker 01

  My mom gets it.

• 1:52:40Dax Shepard?

  So that's four, four to one.

• 1:52:41Speaker 01

  Family, I guess I would say, although I would never say that to Kristen.

• 1:52:47Dax Shepard?

  I feel that, right, right. I've made this point before.

• 1:52:52Dax Shepard?

  I am able to speak to young men in a way I just wouldn't, I wouldn't speak to, you know, previously, I think I've told a story, it's like my friend who I adore Jay, who's like washed my razors and stuff.

• 1:53:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:53:06Dax Shepard?

  And he would list all this stuff and I just went, I'm like, listen, this is how you'll win in life. Just make shit disappear. Don't try to get any approval for it. Just make problems go away and you will fucking own a company, right? Like I'll just, but I wouldn't, I can just be that way to dudes. I don't know.

• 1:53:21Speaker 01

  Well, cause we were talking about another friend who I won't name. He was asking, would you say this to her? It was a girl.

• 1:53:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:29Speaker 01

  And I said, no, definitely not. That, that person is, is very sensitive. Like I know them and I, but I would say something, I would say like, well, what can we do? Like, what can we do? How can I help something like that? So I'm still, the point is the same.

• 1:53:48Dax Shepard?

  Yes. You just have different bedside manner.

• 1:53:50Speaker 01

  But do you think you do that? Do you, do you think you're 75%? One thing and then you adapt? Or do you think you're like a hundred always?

• 1:54:00Dax Shepard?

  I was just talking to this, it's adjacent to this, which is, no, I think I'm, I think I'm kind of overly soft when I, I will always say my thing. It's not like I'm, I'm a people pleaser.

• 1:54:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:14Dax Shepard?

  But I have been in a position many times where I have to give notes to people who work for me. So I have gotten very good, I think, at laying out notes in a, in a positive way. To the degree that one of the first habits I had to break when I was messing around with AI is I would go generate an image of a van in the blah, blah, blah, with the blah, blah, blah. And it would come up and then I would go, I swear to God, I was doing this like the first 20 times I use it. I was like, really great start.

• 1:54:46Dax Shepard?

  This works, this works, this works. Now could you add blank? And after about five, I was like, oh, I don't need to fucking say any of that to this thing. Let's go like, make the wheels bigger.

• 1:54:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:56Dax Shepard?

  Next thing, make them taller. No, but I was saying great job to AI.

• 1:55:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well.

• 1:55:06Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:55:18Dax Shepard?

  That brings me to something that I'm afraid to talk about because I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings in my life.

• 1:55:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:55:25Dax Shepard?

  But I also find the punchline of this is just too comical to not say in public.

• 1:55:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:55:32Dax Shepard?

  So there is a bit of a gender divide right now in our pod about how nervous men are about their quality and how nervous the women are.

• 1:55:44Dax Shepard?

  And I know there's a lot of chains going on about different air purifiers and whatnot. And so Kristin's quite concerned about that.

• 1:55:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, she is.

• 1:55:52Dax Shepard?

  She's reading a lot about it. I thank her for that, for our family's safety. And also every day more air purifiers arrive to the, to the degree that when you enter our house, it's like going into the reefer unit at a Costco. It's like, like it's, we've got, we got six of them that filter out this particulate at point zero one. We've got a handful in the corners that are doing point zero zero three. They're all running. It's like, there's a hum in the house. One of them was on auto and in the middle of the night, I think it thought there was a biological weapon went off in the bedroom because all of a sudden it was like, there

• 1:56:35Dax Shepard?

  was a jet engine going on. What is that? And then I'm blind and I'm trying to fucking turn it off. And I got, so this has all been building and then there's some concern about water that has gotten in the water. All of this, this, this has been escalating and there's more and more air purifiers and we're trying to navigate it. She knows I'm not.

• 1:56:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:58Dax Shepard?

  She'll even say like, I'm afraid to bring this up, but right. So it's, but we're getting through it and I think it's going pretty well. And then I had overheard that, you know, we have these Ullers to cool you down in the bed.

• 1:57:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:09Dax Shepard?

  And I had heard Carly was going through and running peroxide through all of them. But I use distilled water, so I'm not actually nervous about it. So when I saw that this was going on. I was like, you know, you just stay right out of it. So last night I go to go to bed.

• 1:57:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:25Dax Shepard?

  And I turn on the ooler and it's making insane noises. I don't know what I'm hearing all kinds of weird new noises. And then I'm realizing all the, the little water capsule wasn't set in correctly. So I get that going. And, and now I realize, oh, it's out of water. Cause maybe the peroxide thing. So I'm filling in with water. And it just keeps making all these noises, all these noises. And I can't figure out what's going on. And then at some point I can hear gushing water.

• 1:57:50Speaker 01

  Oh, no. And, oh, God.

• 1:57:53Dax Shepard?

  I'm like, oh my, what's going on? And I pick up my pillow and where it goes into the bladder. That has been torn at some point in this cleaning.

• 1:58:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:58:06Dax Shepard?

  And it has just pumped a gallon of water onto my bed.

• 1:58:11Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:58:13Dax Shepard?

  And, uh, and I was really tired.

• 1:58:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:58:17Dax Shepard?

  And I, I saw that and poor Kristen saw that. And I'm sure she immediately was like, oh no.

• 1:58:26Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:58:27Dax Shepard?

  And I, I just walked into the bathroom and I, I leaned over the sink and I said to myself, she's trying her hardest to keep the family safe.

• 1:58:40Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:58:41Dax Shepard?

  What I was really screaming in my head is like, just leave me, leave my things out of it. Just go crazy. But I just, I really have three, I need my ooler and my coffee in the morning. So I was being, I was, I went to self pity and then I said, stop, stop, stop. This is a human being who's trying her hardest to keep everyone healthy.

• 1:59:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's, she is.

• 1:59:04Dax Shepard?

  And then I came back in and I was very pleasant and I said, I'm gonna go sleep downstairs.

• 1:59:11Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:59:12Dax Shepard?

  Cause my bed was soaking wet.

• 1:59:13Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:59:14Dax Shepard?

  And I walked downstairs and I realized I can't sleep in the guest room. Cause that's where whiskey's fucking cage is and whiskey wakes up all night long barking. And then I said, now I'm gonna go outside.

• 1:59:30Speaker 01

  Outside?

• 1:59:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So I slept in the guest house.

• 1:59:33Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, okay. Yeah.

• 1:59:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So I was sleeping in the guest house and I was thinking, maybe I could claim this is my house.

• 1:59:43Speaker 01

  Okay, now, listen, listen. I, I want to say something to you.

• 1:59:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:59:49Speaker 01

  I understand all of this.

• 1:59:52Dax Shepard?

  Both sides.

• 1:59:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course. I think, and I, this probably isn't the place to say it, but I do feel safer saying it here. I think you're feeling a real lack of control in your life right now.

• 2:00:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, well, yeah, yeah.

• 2:00:08Speaker 01

  From a lot of angles.

• 2:00:09Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 2:00:10Speaker 01

  And so, these things are very heightened.

• 2:00:15Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 2:00:15Speaker 01

  And anything is very heightened and especially interpersonal things get very heightened when anyone feels like they have a lack of control, but especially you, because that is a, that's a, it's hard for you.

• 2:00:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're right. And I felt like I lost control of my bed.

• 2:00:34Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 2:00:35Dax Shepard?

  And oh my God, I can't, I can't even count on sleeping in my bed now.

• 2:00:39Speaker 01

  That's where it goes. Exactly. That's the thing. Like, again, understandably, that's like, the bedrock of your trauma is not having control. So, you know, flooded bed where people who don't have that background are just gonna be like, uh, or they'll, they'll be annoyed. Like, it's like, oh, now I have to deal with this. This is so annoying. You're probably not gonna go to, well, now I don't even have a bed that's mine.

• 2:01:06Dax Shepard?

  I have no control over my bed.

• 2:01:08Speaker 01

  I have all this stuff and not, and no control over any of it.

• 2:01:11Dax Shepard?

  And I live with dogs and I don't want to, I don't get to control whether I have allergies and I, yeah, I started, you're right. I, I start compiling.

• 2:01:19Speaker 01

  But it's not out of nowhere. It's because there's been a lot of stuff that is priming you for this. It's just gonna get triggered easily until we can let some of that go.

• 2:01:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:01:31Speaker 01

  I don't think it's a horrible idea to contact Mark.

• 2:01:40Speaker 01

  It can't hurt.

• 2:01:41Dax Shepard?

  It's never hurt. It's only hell.

• 2:01:43Speaker 01

  Literally never hurt. I'm just saying, I see why.

• 2:01:46Dax Shepard?

  Coupled, it's all coupled. The timing's perfectly, Ivan said this out loud yesterday, said it out loud. I'm like, There's some huge growth around the corner. But I can feel it because it's also, it's all coinciding. Maybe I already said this with me writing about something I was never going to write about.

• 2:02:05Speaker 01

  I don't think I knew that.

• 2:02:06Dax Shepard?

  I'm at the point in the memoir where I'm having to write about the thing I was never going to write about.

• 2:02:12Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 2:02:13Dax Shepard?

  Like, I don't mind saying I was molested. I had no intention to ever detail to anybody ever on this planet. What happened?

• 2:02:20Speaker 01

  Details.

• 2:02:21Dax Shepard?

  And so I've been for maybe eight days.

• 2:02:24Speaker 01

  Oh, my.

• 2:02:25Dax Shepard?

  Going through that every morning, you know?

• 2:02:27Speaker 01

  Wow, yeah, that's a lot.

• 2:02:29Dax Shepard?

  I think, I think that's in the stew.

• 2:02:32Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 2:02:32Dax Shepard?

  I think being made fun of and all these award shows is in the stew. I think there, I think there's, I think the fires are in the stew. I think the fans in the air. Yeah, I think you're right. I think there's a lot like I'm, I'm spending time revisiting that apex of

• 2:02:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02:50Dax Shepard?

  Loss of will.

• 2:02:51Speaker 01

  The impetus of that, really.

• 2:02:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And then all these other things are coinciding in a very sim-like, impossibly coincidental.

• 2:02:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, January.

• 2:02:59Dax Shepard?

  Way.

• 2:03:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:01Dax Shepard?

  And so, yeah, I'm hanging on at times by a thread, but I'm very proud to say I haven't had any kind of blowups.

• 2:03:09Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 2:03:10Dax Shepard?

  I haven't had any fantasies about escaping, maybe going to Nashville to get my bus.

• 2:03:15Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:03:15Dax Shepard?

  That was gonna be like two days of this, you know, where I'm just driving a vehicle I can control. That seemed very appealing. But I flagged it as you're just trying to escape. Like, you're trying to not walk through all this. You're trying to take a little break. There's the logical stuff and then there's what's really going on. And I think I did go like, yeah, you're just, you want to escape right now.

• 2:03:38Speaker 01

  Well, that's good. I mean, it's good that you recognized it.

• 2:03:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:03:42Speaker 01

  It'll all pass.

• 2:03:44Dax Shepard?

  It'll all pass.

• 2:03:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. But yeah, I didn't know you were doing that. And that obviously is gonna be a factor.

• 2:03:51Dax Shepard?

  That's how I start my day. I don't. Of the orders.

• 2:03:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe you should do it at night.

• 2:03:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but then maybe I couldn't sleep.

• 2:04:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:00Dax Shepard?

  But I've been waking up, I've, you know, been having like two hour chunks where I'm up at night too.

• 2:04:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, growing pains, I guess. But also, it is kind of funny that you just brought up the fires because, you know, during COVID, at the beginning of COVID, you've said it, that, you know, your goal is to reduce panic.

• 2:04:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:22Speaker 01

  With all of us who are panicked or, you know, like.

• 2:04:25Dax Shepard?

  Heightened.

• 2:04:26Speaker 01

  Heightened, yeah. And you're trying to bring that down.

• 2:04:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:30Speaker 01

  You, in some ways, in doing that, you're like, it's not, you don't, you're not saying it's not that big of a deal, but like, that's like the energy, right?

• 2:04:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, uh huh.

• 2:04:39Speaker 01

  And then, you know, a year and a half goes by and you said, and you have the recognition, like, oh, that did affect me.

• 2:04:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, uh huh.

• 2:04:49Speaker 01

  Even though I was like, it's not that big of a deal, or I'm not, it did.

• 2:04:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:55Speaker 01

  And so when the fires were happening, and to me, it was like a little tangential, like they were, it was a similar thing.

• 2:05:03Dax Shepard?

  Felt identical.

• 2:05:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:05:04Dax Shepard?

  Masks and the.

• 2:05:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:05:06Dax Shepard?

  Evacuees.

• 2:05:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And the fear versus the panic versus it's not that big of a deal. I thought, like, I mean, in some time, there's gonna be a realization.

• 2:05:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:05:18Speaker 01

  That that had an impact.

• 2:05:20Dax Shepard?

  I totally agree with you, but I don't know if I think it was COVID that scared me.

• 2:05:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:05:25Dax Shepard?

  But I do think living with people that had heightened emotions that were scaring me.

• 2:05:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:05:33Dax Shepard?

  Did have a pretty big impact on me.

• 2:05:36Speaker 01

  Well, no, but even just like the whole experience of it, the isolation, the time together that was so intense, the, the, the unknown, how long is it gonna be? Like, all these things that we just all lived with and, and dealt with very differently. And I do think some people immediately know the feeling, right? It's like, they have the feeling minute one.

• 2:06:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:06:03Speaker 01

  And I, and.

• 2:06:05Dax Shepard?

  That's true.

• 2:06:06Speaker 01

  You're in a zone of helping.

• 2:06:07Dax Shepard?

  Cry over my dad till like four months later.

• 2:06:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it takes a minute.

• 2:06:10Dax Shepard?

  I didn't cry over the USO tour till I was telling my mom about it, when I was out of the situation.

• 2:06:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:06:16Speaker 01

  So maybe it's just now it's like catching up a little bit.

• 2:06:20Dax Shepard?

  I heard that dude chaired in the meeting on Monday.

• 2:06:24Dax Shepard?

  That he has this weird come down. He's like, oh, I don't know what the fuck to do now. I knew how to get the hoses out and I knew how to do this and I knew how to do that. Now I don't really know.

• 2:06:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:33Dax Shepard?

  This, you know, the air quality, I can't get a hose out. I don't.

• 2:06:37Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 2:06:37Dax Shepard?

  Can I do?

• 2:06:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:06:39Dax Shepard?

  Other than buy a couple dozen.

• 2:06:41Speaker 01

  I think you have some you could lend. Oh, speaking of other, something else uncontrollable, well.

• 2:06:49Dax Shepard?

  Diarrhea.

• 2:06:50Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:06:50Dax Shepard?

  Diarrhea?

• 2:06:51Speaker 01

  No, I don't want to talk about that. Um, my friend's house was robbed.

• 2:06:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, tell me about that. I'm, I'm quite curious what happened. Were they home?

• 2:07:01Speaker 01

  Completely unrelated, no, not home, thank goodness, but also on purpose, I'm sure. Like, I think these people probably were staking out the joint.

• 2:07:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:07:12Speaker 01

  And.

• 2:07:13Dax Shepard?

  Casing the joint.

• 2:07:13Speaker 01

  Exactly. And so they knew they weren't there.

• 2:07:16Dax Shepard?

  That's preferred.

• 2:07:17Speaker 01

  Of course, yes, but unrelated to the fires, like they were out of town for just a night. And, um, what's really such a weird, sad bummer is she had just put all her irreplaceable items into a safe.

• 2:07:39Dax Shepard?

  Safe.

• 2:07:40Speaker 01

  Because of the fires, obviously.

• 2:07:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and they assumed there was valuables in there.

• 2:07:45Speaker 01

  They took the whole safe.

• 2:07:46Dax Shepard?

  That's what's tricky about a safe.

• 2:07:48Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:07:50Dax Shepard?

  You know what the move is probably? To just leave it unlocked.

• 2:07:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:07:55Dax Shepard?

  If you're just gonna put memorabilia in there, like, leave it unlocked so they can see.

• 2:08:00Speaker 01

  So you could still grab it easily, I guess.

• 2:08:02Dax Shepard?

  And if there's a fire, you hit lock, but while it sits there, you leave it.

• 2:08:07Speaker 01

  That's.

• 2:08:07Dax Shepard?

  Unlocked. Cause it doesn't need to be locked to be fire retardant.

• 2:08:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:08:12Dax Shepard?

  It can have the door shut without you having locked it.

• 2:08:15Speaker 01

  Hmm, that's a good idea, maybe. I know.

• 2:08:18Dax Shepard?

  Cause I was gonna say, I don't really understand modern robberies because there's nothing to fence. There's, unless the people have some crazy jewelry collection or a bunch of watches, but like all the stuff people stole in the. Eighties and nineties is like valueless on the second hand.

• 2:08:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:08:37Dax Shepard?

  You can't sell a 55 inch TV for more than a hundred dollars. Like, I'm not sure what they think they're gonna get.

• 2:08:45Speaker 01

  I think the jewelry is the big thing. And yeah, watches, I mean, that's what they stole. And she even said, you know, you can have that stuff.

• 2:08:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:55Speaker 01

  You can, like, she, there was one valuable piece of jewelry in there that was her wedding bracelet. That was like gifted from a family member, you know?

• 2:09:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:04Speaker 01

  But the rest of it is all, like, definitely not things the robbers want. And, and I said, maybe you could put a note on the door saying, if you stole my stuff, can you just bring back these items, please?

• 2:09:21Speaker 01

  That's sad.

• 2:09:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:23Speaker 01

  But she's doing okay.

• 2:09:25Dax Shepard?

  And is the husband now neat, wanting to like arm himself and get a, he like?

• 2:09:30Speaker 01

  He's not, but of course.

• 2:09:30Dax Shepard?

  Are they rolling with it or are they?

• 2:09:32Speaker 01

  I mean, they're doing okay, but they, I mean, this is always what happens in any of these circumstances where there's violation, you feel guilty.

• 2:09:42Dax Shepard?

  Right, like you did something wrong.

• 2:09:44Speaker 01

  You did this and that caused this, or you didn't do this and now this happened. And it's the same, it's like, our, we're wired that way, I assume.

• 2:09:53Dax Shepard?

  Well, cause you wanna learn from your mistakes.

• 2:09:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, but it's so unfair.

• 2:09:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you should be able to recognize it without the shame or the guilt.

• 2:10:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I think they might, they're both struggling a little bit with that.

• 2:10:05Dax Shepard?

  We're reading the new Unstoppable books by Yuval Harari at night to the kids.

• 2:10:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:10:10Dax Shepard?

  By we Christians reading it to them and I listen and sometimes fall asleep. But he was describing a scene where the sapiens might have seen a group of Neanderthals approach. And because, you know, Neanderthals, Neanderthals were there and then they all, they went extinct. Or some got absorbed into our genes.

• 2:10:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:10:30Dax Shepard?

  But in general, they were killed out. They were outcompeted by sapiens. And they were, he was setting, describing this scene, but also in the book, there's the dovion, I can't say the word, but these dovion people that were on an island, so they got smaller.

• 2:10:46Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:10:46Dax Shepard?

  Really tiny, like two feet nine.

• 2:10:49Speaker 01

  Okay, this is a easter egg for a future fact.

• 2:10:51Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I'm just lying there listening and I was thinking to myself.

• 2:11:00Dax Shepard?

  How predictable we are. If you're a group of a hundred sapiens and you see these Neanderthals, you see 12 of them and they're bigger than you, you're scared.

• 2:11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11:09Dax Shepard?

  And so you try to neutralize this thing. If the Denovians had rolled up.

• 2:11:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11:16Dax Shepard?

  They would have probably been kind to them.

• 2:11:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11:20Dax Shepard?

  And he even talks about often they kill off the Neanderthal parents, but then they would care for the kids or babies of the Neanderthals. Cause and I'm like, I was like, girls, this is, this is the like, this is the crux of violence is, is fear.

• 2:11:35Speaker 01

  Of, yes.

• 2:11:36Dax Shepard?

  You know?

• 2:11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11:38Dax Shepard?

  If you see little people walk up on the scene, you're like, oh, get you, get you goo. Want some food? Come in here.

• 2:11:44Speaker 01

  Unless they are called demons or something like they make them a different type of threat.

• 2:11:48Dax Shepard?

  They could be miss, yeah, is.

• 2:11:50Speaker 01

  Outcast.

• 2:11:51Dax Shepard?

  Magicians.

• 2:11:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11:52Dax Shepard?

  Evil magic powers.

• 2:11:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. So fact, James, um, the tallest and smallest women, women.

• 2:12:01Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. There, I saw them again. They came up organically in my feed.

• 2:12:06Speaker 01

  Hanging out again?

• 2:12:07Dax Shepard?

  Same stuff we've already saw, but it was, it was back.

• 2:12:10Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:12:11Dax Shepard?

  I think it's gaining popularity.

• 2:12:12Speaker 01

  I hope.

• 2:12:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:12:13Speaker 01

  The world's tallest woman is Ramisa Gelgi.

• 2:12:20Dax Shepard?

  Beautiful.

• 2:12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't know how to say it. And the world's shortest woman is Yodi Amji.

• 2:12:26Dax Shepard?

  Which again, it really sounds like a short person's name.

• 2:12:31Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:12:31Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 2:12:32Speaker 01

  Well, it just sounds cute. Yodi.

• 2:12:34Dax Shepard?

  And like Yoda.

• 2:12:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:12:36Dax Shepard?

  And Yoda's very, very small.

• 2:12:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. And to be fair, it's J Y O T I. So I don't actually know.

• 2:12:42Dax Shepard?

  Could be Jody.

• 2:12:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or G O T or something.

• 2:12:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:12:45Speaker 01

  Um, they met in London in November for afternoon tea.

• 2:12:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 2:12:52Speaker 01

  And Ramisa is seven feet, point seven inches.

• 2:12:58Speaker 01

  And Yody is two feet point seven inches.

• 2:13:01Dax Shepard?

  I think it's just a miracle that they're exactly five feet apart.

• 2:13:05Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:13:05Dax Shepard?

  That they're both point seven.

• 2:13:07Speaker 01

  It's like how me and you have the exact same IQ.

• 2:13:09Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 2:13:11Speaker 01

  Makes no sense.

• 2:13:13Dax Shepard?

  Suspicious.

• 2:13:14Speaker 01

  And this was from the Guinness through this Guinness World Records, obviously.

• 2:13:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they're the only ones that could ethically host this kind of thing.

• 2:13:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:13:23Dax Shepard?

  If it was Barney and Barlingham Brothers, Barney and Bailey.

• 2:13:27Speaker 01

  Barnum and Bailey.

• 2:13:28Dax Shepard?

  Barnum and Bailey.

• 2:13:29Speaker 01

  They are not allowed.

• 2:13:29Dax Shepard?

  Come on, guys.

• 2:13:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:13:30Dax Shepard?

  Knock this off. That shit's.

• 2:13:32Speaker 01

  True.

• 2:13:32Dax Shepard?

  We gotta retire that.

• 2:13:34Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 2:13:34Dax Shepard?

  But Guinness, you're like, get them together.

• 2:13:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:13:36Dax Shepard?

  Couple of world record holders.

• 2:13:38Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:13:40Dax Shepard?

  I wonder what the volume difference was in tea they drank. That interests me.

• 2:13:46Speaker 01

  They're so awesome and we think they look like us.

• 2:13:50Dax Shepard?

  They do. They look quite a bit like us.

• 2:13:52Speaker 01

  Ramisa looks like you and Yody looks like me.

• 2:13:55Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. And we desperately, although I don't know if this puts us in the Barnum and Bailey category.

• 2:14:01Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no.

• 2:14:02Dax Shepard?

  We desperately want them to come to the garage and have tea.

• 2:14:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:14:06Dax Shepard?

  So that we can all stand in a perfect

• 2:14:10Speaker 01

  Why?

• 2:14:10Dax Shepard?

  linear line going up.

• 2:14:12Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 2:14:12Dax Shepard?

  From Yody to Monica to Daxi to Ramisa.

• 2:14:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:14:17Dax Shepard?

  Well, that would be a stunning photograph.

• 2:14:19Speaker 01

  I agree. You also wanted to do boxes where we all reach the same height.

• 2:14:24Dax Shepard?

  That's right. Where we're all exactly seven point seven inches tall.

• 2:14:30Speaker 01

  But we said that's a little scary for Yody.

• 2:14:32Dax Shepard?

  It's quite scary for Yody, but what I like about that proposition is that her box will be exactly your height.

• 2:14:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's really cool.

• 2:14:42Dax Shepard?

  So you're you're three feet taller than her.

• 2:14:44Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 2:14:45Dax Shepard?

  And I'm only

• 2:14:45Speaker 01

  Probably almost exactly.

• 2:14:47Dax Shepard?

  One foot taller. Ramisa's one foot taller than me.

• 2:14:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:14:51Dax Shepard?

  So to be honest, we do have to invite someone who is four feet tall just to make it fucking perfect.

• 2:14:56Speaker 04

  You need Calvin.

• 2:14:58Dax Shepard?

  Calvin.

• 2:14:58Speaker 01

  Oh, that actually works color wise.

• 2:15:03Speaker 04

  It's a gradient.

• 2:15:04Dax Shepard?

  Calvin's a beautiful transition.

• 2:15:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:15:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's on the wrong side.

• 2:15:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:15:10Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:15:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because Ramisi is wider than me, which is hard to do.

• 2:15:16Speaker 01

  Right. She's wider than you. Yody looks similar to my coloring.

• 2:15:21Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:15:22Speaker 01

  Um.

• 2:15:22Dax Shepard?

  She looks just similar to you, period.

• 2:15:28Speaker 01

  She really does.

• 2:15:30Dax Shepard?

  Last fact check, if you are a great artist, I'd love to see what you see in the mirror.

• 2:15:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:15:34Dax Shepard?

  And if I was an incredible artist and I drew a picture of you, you might find that it looks a lot like Yodi.

• 2:15:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. God, this reminds me of the other day I was with Anna and we were, this is no offense to anyone, but we, we were at a crosswalk and she said, is that you? And I looked over and there was a woman there. She was wearing a mask, so I couldn't see her full face, but I think she was wearing a mask. Maybe I added that in my head.

• 2:16:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. Doesn't sound like the clearest memory.

• 2:16:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, it was traumatic because I, I saw and I was like, oh, and then she got closer and, and I was like, I don't.

• 2:16:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but that's, that's a common occurrence.

• 2:16:27Speaker 01

  I know, but that's upsetting. It's upsetting.

• 2:16:31Dax Shepard?

  You didn't like the comp?

• 2:16:32Speaker 01

  I didn't.

• 2:16:33Dax Shepard?

  Right. But also in Anna's defense, I have the experience quite often where you see someone from a distance and as they get closer, you start realizing, oh, I, this is a different person than I saw.

• 2:16:46Speaker 01

  Okay. But she didn't say, oh, actually not. But maybe she got in her head.

• 2:16:51Dax Shepard?

  She got in her head. She went like, oh shit, that was a bad comp now that she's closer. But now what do I say?

• 2:16:58Speaker 01

  She could have said, oh, actually, never mind. That's.

• 2:17:01Dax Shepard?

  Bad comp.

• 2:17:03Speaker 01

  Bad comp. That's all you have to say.

• 2:17:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, bad comp.

• 2:17:05Speaker 01

  Also, maybe it's right. It's probably a good comp. That's the, this is where things get tricky.

• 2:17:13Speaker 01

  I have a good comp for Yodi. Okay. Now, does yawning help ear clearing? Yes, it does. It opens the eustachian tubes, which allows air to flow into the middle ear and equalize pressure popping your ears.

• 2:17:29Speaker 01

  So that would have worked if he had just tried it.

• 2:17:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he was being insolent.

• 2:17:33Speaker 01

  He was. Can a chihuahua and a mastiff have an offspring?

• 2:17:38Speaker 01

  Great Dane is what I found.

• 2:17:40Dax Shepard?

  People are most curious.

• 2:17:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, Chihuahua and Great Dane. It says highly unlikely to produce viable offspring because of their extreme size difference, making natural mating nearly impossible, imposing significant health risks for both the mother and potential puppies. Therefore, responsible breeders were never, would never attempt such a cross. But it is, it is technically possible.

• 2:18:04Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and we would want it to be a male Chihuahua impregnating a female Great Dane because a Great Dane offspring inside of a Chihuahua uterus could be lethal.

• 2:18:14Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 2:18:14Dax Shepard?

  Also, the boy, it would be almost impossible for the Great Dane male to enter the Chihuahua, to stoop down low enough to get the penis.

• 2:18:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, it would have to.

• 2:18:25Dax Shepard?

  But a little Chihuahua, if a, if a Great Dane was taking a nap on its side.

• 2:18:29Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:18:30Dax Shepard?

  Also, it consented, let's just say it consented.

• 2:18:32Speaker 01

  Sure, sure.

• 2:18:33Dax Shepard?

  It was like, I'm drowsy, but whatever you want to do while I'm out. And then it was laying perfectly on the side. It could definitely get up there. It's laying on the ground.

• 2:18:41Speaker 01

  And it's the, oh, the Chihuahua's the penis, right?

• 2:18:43Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 2:18:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:18:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so the Great Dane female or gal.

• 2:18:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:18:48Dax Shepard?

  Is laying on her side.

• 2:18:50Speaker 01

  Or back.

• 2:18:51Dax Shepard?

  No, her side.

• 2:18:52Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:18:53Dax Shepard?

  And then the little Chihuahua just comes up and hump, hump, hump. He's at the right height if she's laying on her side.

• 2:18:58Speaker 01

  I see, I see what you're saying.

• 2:19:00Dax Shepard?

  And then she could probably have 13, 14 pups in the litter and not even notice.

• 2:19:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:19:06Dax Shepard?

  Little tiny pup.

• 2:19:07Speaker 01

  She just thinks those little mosquito bites.

• 2:19:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, like a heavy, heavy flow.

• 2:19:11Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 2:19:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so if it's got to be done, that's, that's what we recommend.

• 2:19:14Speaker 01

  Yes. Um, update, I am leaning more and more, but don't hold me to this, but I'm leaning more and more towards eventually potentially getting a dog.

• 2:19:27Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 2:19:28Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:19:30Speaker 01

  When I move into my house.

• 2:19:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think that's a great idea.

• 2:19:34Speaker 01

  I need to, I think I will feel safer.

• 2:19:36Dax Shepard?

  Yep. Get a big boy.

• 2:19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, a big boy. Erica and Charlie have been fostering this German Shepherd.

• 2:19:46Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 2:19:47Speaker 01

  And a very, very smart dog. Even a puppy is very smart.

• 2:19:53Dax Shepard?

  They're great dogs. I'm terribly allergic to their hair, but yeah, my, my mom's dog breezy, which who I loved and I love pee pee.

• 2:20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, pee pee.

• 2:20:04Dax Shepard?

  But boy, they shed like a mother. And when I'd be at my mom's house, I couldn't breathe.

• 2:20:08Speaker 01

  Well, I don't want shedding.

• 2:20:09Dax Shepard?

  Get a doodle. Get some kind of a doodle.

• 2:20:11Speaker 01

  But are they gonna protect?

• 2:20:14Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's a good question.

• 2:20:15Speaker 01

  I need one that is nice.

• 2:20:17Dax Shepard?

  And a killer.

• 2:20:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:20:19Dax Shepard?

  A reformed bad boy.

• 2:20:20Speaker 01

  I think German Shepherds are that.

• 2:20:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they are.

• 2:20:24Speaker 01

  But I don't, my house is gonna be so pretty. I cannot have it covered in hair.

• 2:20:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, and they fucking shed so, but you gotta get something that doesn't shed.

• 2:20:33Speaker 01

  Back to the drawing board.

• 2:20:36Speaker 01

  Okay, you said the fewest among the Armchair Anonymous callers are from Oklahoma. I'm not gonna second that.

• 2:20:44Dax Shepard?

  Can't substantiate that claim, no.

• 2:20:46Speaker 01

  The house with, that James had his party, his 50th birthday party, this is the episode.

• 2:20:54Dax Shepard?

  Yes, this is the episode.

• 2:20:55Speaker 01

  That was hilarious because we were talking about surprise parties and 50th birthday parties and yours was in the works that you didn't know.

• 2:21:03Dax Shepard?

  Couple of days out.

• 2:21:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. James Goldstein, the Sheets Goldstein residence is the home that he had the party. That's a big iconic home in LA.

• 2:21:13Dax Shepard?

  Gorgeous place.

• 2:21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, the, the phobia of getting sued is Lytica phobia.

• 2:21:18Dax Shepard?

  That makes a ton of sense. Lytica phobia.

• 2:21:21Speaker 01

  Nick Nolte is not from Oklahoma. He's from Omaha.

• 2:21:25Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:21:26Speaker 01

  Easy mistake. And Brad Pitt was born in Shawnee, Oklahoma.

• 2:21:30Dax Shepard?

  Congratulations, Shawnee.

• 2:21:32Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:21:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:21:34Speaker 01

  Um, that's it.

• 2:21:35Dax Shepard?

  Would you rather be known as the town that produced the tallest woman in the world, the shortest woman in the world, or Brad Pitt?

• 2:21:42Speaker 01

  Um, tallest.

• 2:21:44Dax Shepard?

  Same.

• 2:21:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:21:46Dax Shepard?

  I don't know why. Yeah, and I just imagine you could put a statue in town for that person. And if you did the shortest person, you'd miss it. If you wanted to break stereotypes, the move would be to put a statue of the tallest woman next to the statue of the tiniest man.

• 2:22:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:22:04Dax Shepard?

  That was your goal.

• 2:22:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like that. And Calvin in the middle.

• 2:22:07Dax Shepard?

  Calvin right in the middle.

• 2:22:10Speaker 01

  All right.

• 2:22:11Dax Shepard?

  All right.

• 2:22:11Speaker 01

  Love you.